#did I do it right

[lemoniia]

Damian: [storming into the kitchen] WHO ate the last of my imported Belgian dark chocolate?

Jason: [casually leaning on the counter] Not me. Why would I touch your weird rich kid snacks?

Tim: Chocolate has caffeine. If I wanted that, I’d just IV drip coffee directly into my bloodstream.

Dick: [offended] I don’t even like dark chocolate. It’s like candy that forgot how to be fun.

Bruce: [sipping coffee] I don’t snack. Snacks are inefficient.

Damian: That’s a lie. I saw you eat a granola bar last week.

Bruce: [quietly] It was for research.

Damian: [squinting at him] …suspicious.

Tim: Did you check Titus?

Damian: Titus would never.

—

[Everyone turns to Alfred, who’s calmly dusting a bookshelf.]

—

Damian: That leaves… you.

Alfred: [setting down the duster, unfazed] Indeed, Master Damian. I ate it.

Damian: [horrified] You didn’t..

Alfred: [leaning closer] And I’d do it again.

—

[Stunned silence. Jason starts wheezing with laughter. Tim is Googling “how to survive without butlers.”]

—

Damian: [gripping the counter] You’re supposed to be my ally!

Alfred: [calmly walking away] Consider it a lesson in sharing.

[gethighdropacidneverdie]

Idk

can someone do that meme "skinny guys are outdated get yourself a fatfuck" but its lawrence please ??

[hangsawoman]

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😋 this strain is called "i saw the tv glow" itll have you zoinked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit

5 hours later: dude i swear my living body is somewhere under the ground buried alive and i'm here to get my beating heart back

my best friend maddytara pacing around the room: this isn’t normal. this isn’t normal. this isn’t how life is supposed to be.

[thedykeparade]

boy that has half the world swooning over him but falls for the only girl that *seems* to be immune to his charm + girl who was never deemed as lovable or desirable by anyone falls for boy that she thinks she could never have because he could have anyone, but then he makes her see that he only has eyes for her, you will ALWAYS BE LOVED BY ME

[spirk-trek]

they finally made it to five guys

[mx-anthropy]

I saw a few people saying don't trust mech repair shops that are clean, and that you gotta go to the ones that are dirty and have crap everywhere 'cause they'll do a proper job and fix your rig cheaper and better.

While I agree in general, it's an even better sign if that shop has that *one* bay and workbench area that is conspicuously clean. Every good workshop has *that bay*.

That's the bay for when they need to go cleanroom on something. Pulling and refurbishing laser arrays, injection pumps, etc. Manually recalibrating gyros. Re-valving joint dampers. Fabbing up "custom" bracketry to fit that aftermarket heat exchanger that's *supposed* to be a direct bolt on OE style replacement and you just *know* it's not going to be that simple cause it never is, but the efficiency is so much better than the factory crap and who the hell wants to pay for a new genuine exchanger anyway, if you can even get one?

The number of absolute cowboy techs I've seen that think that just because they've done a bunch of work on their pa's agricultural mechs for years, they know everything there is to know about mech internals, strip down and reassemble a combat-rated set of hand actuators literally just on the god damned shop floor, only to wonder why all the hydraulics piss fluid out as soon as they run it through a test cycle. They might *look* the same as pappy's mech actuators, but they have way tighter tolerances and they run *way* thinner fluids in them. You get so much as a nick in the sealing surface of one of those rods and it's not gonna seal again. And before any goobers come for me saying "JuSt RuN tHiCkEr OiL" if you put anything thicker than 2W-5 in those things they'll just lock up. Won't leak but you'll not be using that hand for anything but karate chopping your opposition.

Anyway rant over, TLDR next time your stompy death machine needs actual proper work done, and not just entire unit assemblies throwm at the problem, take it somewhere that actually cares to understand the concept of machined tolerances.

[xenasaur]

[vanillabeams]

nerdy armin prt2!!

christmas special!!!

warning: smut, pet names, sub men, mention of cum, cursing, teasing

surprise at the end!!

prt1

poor armin..buddy was skipping classes just to avoiding you and we all know how important his classes were to him. he was so embarrassed because he knew for fact that you knew he was getting off to your voice.

it’s been 2 days and you haven’t seen armin at all, he hasn’t answered any of your texts and your seriously getting worried because this isn’t like him at all,

it’s been 4 days now and you can’t lie you miss him a lot the way he can’t look you in the eyes properly..or the way he stares at you in class. you squeeze your thighs together releasing the energy that is slowly creeping up on you which made you realize you arrived at the mall to bring him a christmas gift as an excuse to come over to his house. you shop around the mall finding different things you think he would like making him a little basket.

you knock on his front door rethinking this whole plan but your worries gotten the best of you and now your here there’s no going back, armin opens the door shocked that your here “y-y/n??..what are you doing here?” his tall frame clouding over you and it doesn’t help with what he is wearing. he was wearing a black tank top with shorts that hang just above his knees with his black Yeezy slides and a Santa hat on the side of his head to top it off . he stretches his arm resting it on on the very top of the door

omg he is so fineee you can’t even squeeze your legs together right now cause your standing. “y/n?” you look back up at his face seeing him turn red because you were staring too hard and it was noticeable. “christmas gift duhh” you smile wide at him and he looks down at your glossed lips but quickly looks away embarrassed. “you should come in, i know it’s cold” he stretches the door wider for you.

“ im glad you finally let me inside im freezing!” you walked over to his island and place his gift down “ is this a fine place for me to put your gift here?” he turns around from the door to look over where u placed it “ yeah that’s fine, u can come sit on the couch i’ll get u a blanket i know u said u was cold” before u could tell him you weren’t gonna be here long he is already going upstairs to his room to grab one.

once he sees you sitting on his couch he takes in your outfit and it’s so cute to him. he hands you the blanket and sits next to you. but there is an awfully huge space between you guys because he is so nervous around you. you wrap the blanket around you and it smell just like him. “ armin why haven’t you been to school?” he face turns red reminding him of why he actually skipped school “ i-..i just needed a break. i guess” you could tell he was lying “ armin please don’t lie to me.”

u look at him waiting for a response and you don’t even get a answer, he only does this when he isn’t ready to talk about something so you change the subject and get up seeing his red face as u do so, walking over to his gift. once u grab his gift you sit directly next to him legs touching and everything “ look at what i got you” he grabs the gift out of what seem like the smallest hands ever.

“thank you, you didn’t have to do this” he looks at the basket and then looks at you for 1.2 seconds and looks somewhere else “armin!” his head snaps back at you startled by the way you voice rose up at him “ y-yes..? what’s wrong?” you cross your arms over your chest “ i deserve a response on why you left me on ghost” you watch as he bite his bottom lip “c’mon..you know why”

you start to grow an irritated with him “ armin if i knew why you went ghost on me i wouldn’t be here” you’ve never yelled at him before but he went ghost on you and tried to wipe it off “ last phone call we had..” he doesn’t finish his sentence and you instantly remember what happened “ so you were actually getting off to my voice..??” you can’t help but smirk at his reaction. he holds his face in his palms shaking his head yes you then start to graze the nape of his neck with your acrylics “ aw my voice turns you on min?”

“ i don’t wanna talk about it..” he mumbles in his hands embarrassed. you take a good look at his frame again and you realize that he is hard. you can see his bulge slowly rising so you take it upon yourself to get off the couch and squat right between his legs. he doesn’t realize your between his legs intill you place your hands on his thighs. he removes his hands off his face and looks down at you “y/n?” he then realizes his hard wood is literally poking up right in front of your face. “ i’m s-sorry..” is all the words that he manage to say.

you press your hand on to his bulge and he leans back into the couch biting down on his lower lip to hide back the whine that almost slipped from his lips. you start gently rubbing him thru his pants “ if you can’t hold eye contact i’ll stop.” he looks down at you “ please y/n..you know how hard it is for me to-..” a whine slips from his lips once you take his cock out his boxers and it nearly slaps your face. you use both hands to grip onto his girth just to get the feel of it “ does that feel good min?” he nods his head “ imma need words armin.” you start to kiss on his thighs teasing him “y-yes ma’am” his words makes your cunt flutter

you start kissing his tip as u look up at him seeing the teasing is making him go insane, he is squirming so much “ please..! y/n..” you watch him melt into his own couch “ please what love?” you could tell the names that you are calling him are really getting to him “p-please touch me..” he whines underneath his breath. you press your lips onto his cock swirling your tongue around his tip and slowly start sucking not even half his base before gagging. you use your hands to jerk off the rest you can’t fit into your mouth looking up at him to only see him covering his eyes with his forearm and biting his lip so hard to control his moans and whines.

you remove your lips off him pouting. he realizes you stopped and looked down “look at me and stop hiding your moans from me” his breaths are shaky and he swallow his saliva before speaking “ yes ma’am..” you smile up at him “ good boy” his dick twitches and you soon come to the realization that he likes being praised.

you slide your mouth back onto him now forcing half of him into your mouth going up and down on him faster and faster “f-fuck..! y-y/n” he continues to squirm but his squirming is worse now. his voice is so whiny and high pitch and when you look up making eye contact with him, he completely loses it because he knows he has to make eye contact with you because he is so close to coming. he loses it so bad the poor guys starts sobbing “ y/nnn..fuck! i’m cu-“ dude couldn’t even finish his sentence everything went white around him and next thing you know there’s cum all over your pretty face.

“merry Christmas!” was the last thing u said before he fell asleep

(here’s a visual on what he sounded like)

[everychingoes]

mary oliver, from october

rm, everythingoes (trans. doolsetbangtan)

fyodor dostoyevsky, from the brothers karamazov

yumi sakugawa (source)

ocean vuong, from on earth we're briefly gorgeous

sylvia plath, from the bell jar

bernadette mayer, from the way to keep going in antarctica

ada limón, from dead stars

rainer maria rilke, from letters to a young poet

mary oliver, from moments

[thegoldenduckie]

WOKE AND LIBERAL SANDERS SIDES BE LIKE

Prince ARO-man

Pat-TESTOSTERONE

SHE/HER-gil

LoGAY sanders

janus sanders

Remus intru-SOCIALISM thoughts

[deepspacewhore]

thirst trap 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

[ib3li3v3you]

[ineffabildaddy]

in your own time - a good omens priest au by ineffabildaddy (E, 33k, complete)

Aziraphale and Crowley grew up together as next-door neighbours on Hogback Lane, classmates at the local Catholic school, and inseparable best friends. By the age of eighteen, both were hopelessly in love with the other, despite the knowledge that they were doomed to live apart, as Crowley aimed to pursue university study in London and Aziraphale committed himself to remaining in Tadfield, dedicating his life to the Church.

After almost twenty years spent away from his hometown, renowned botanist Crowley decides to come and visit Tadfield again at a moment's notice; the purpose of his visit is to speak at a Careers Day for the school he and Aziraphale, now a beloved priest and a frequent helper at the school, attended. The twenty-four hours that follow will change both of their lives for ever.

Written for the @gospexchange!

[chivonne]

A lil art for my beloved RadioStatic <3

I did not get distracted in my school's orientation meeting by drawing old man yaoi-

Oh, the background and light bulbs are from ibispaint ! You can also find my drawing process on ibis too!

The day you came back (to me)

[brothermonk-sam]

Straight up sexting it. Haha and by 'it' I mean.. my hour of prayer .

[graphicsubset29]

POSSIBLE SMALL SPOILERS FOR AMERICAN ARCADIA BELOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED, THEN DON'T READ ANY FURHTER!

So, since there's a big blizzard that happens during the game in the real world, that would mean the game is set around the winter season in the real world, right? So imagine:

One of the first songs that Trevor heard outside of the dome that didn't originate from American Arcadia was Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is You." Maybe he hears it from Angela's car radio when they're both driving or happening across it on Angela's TV or something. Angela gets annoyed by it(she's heard the damn song way too much at that point) and goes to switch it or turn it off, but she stops when she notices how entranced Trevor is by it.

Trevor can't help but notice how different it sounds when compared to the music that played in the Arcadia dome. After all, the dome was still in the 70s while this song came out in the 90s. Hell, he likes it for the sole fact that it's a song that couldn't be played anywhere in American Arcadia without running the risk of breaking the "fourth wall." So Angela decides to just let the song play out in full, even if it's her own personal version of 'Don't be a Fool.' She lets her friend listen to whatever music he ends up finding, as he deserves to experience the world he was never given the chance to(regardless of how many songs he ends up finding that make her want to pull her hair out from how much she's heard them).