#dick jokes and all

[isa-belle1367]

So we all know that the reason their speech in ac1 was so unnatural was because the animus was translating Arabic to English (also, it was over 1000 years ago, so there's that) but I like to imagine that they were a lot more casual when they spoke to each other, like within the context of the language, and they sounded more like a group of guys in military barracks (if you've ever heard a guys in basic training talking to one another, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about). And I always accidentally incorporate this without warning beforehand. So a lot of my ac1 fics read really out of character, but trust, I know what I'm talking about. (My credentials come from being in a military family and growing up around war vets/military personnel)

[hyperblue]

one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason

some random reporter: who's your favorite child?

bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally

dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason

tim: rest in peace

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

[nocek]

I watched Deadpool and Wolverine yesterday and I just had to XDDD

beware the SPOILERS! I mean not really but better to be on safe side ;)

[were-wolverine]

green lantern (hal jordan): *making fun of the discowing outfit*

nightwing: actually. i based the design off of my dad’s old costume. yknow, my dad that was murdered right in front of me? when i was eight? and i had to watch him fall to his death?

hal jordan: ……..oh.

nightwing: (:

[docdufresne]

I love Rvb season 7 and I love simmons and donut interactions

[mysterycitrus]

who do you think is daddy dearest's favorite?

i may be biased but i am also right

[dukeofthomas]

Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.

[trashmakerarticle]

Jason: no tim, it’s not the same. I make dead jokes, you make death jokes

Tim: I am failing to see how that’s any different

Jason: I didn’t want to die Tim. I didn’t make plans that would result in my own death, but you do. You plan to die.

[haveihitanerve]

Somebody: Jasons so angry and aggressive and kills people- hes the most violent batfamily member Bruce-I-would-have-killed-joker-had-fucking-superman-not-stopped-me-and-I-would-do-it-again-if-any-harm-befalls-my-family-also-i-beat-up-people-daily-as-therapy-wayne: what? Dick-i-was-planning-a-mans-murder-at-age-eight-and-would-have-done-it-also-i-didn't-have-superman-so-i-did-kill-joker-Grayson-Wayne: huh? Tim-My-body-count-is-probably-six-digits-by-now-but-it-doesn't-count-if-bruce-doesn't-know-stalker-Drake-Wayne: repeat that? Damian-i-came-with-the-katana-and-a-body-count-at-age-eight-wayne: what did you say about Ahki? Stephanie-i-will-crack-mad-funny-jokes-while-beating-your-face-in-with-a-brick-Brown-Wayne: waht? Barbara-i-wouldn't-but-like-i-could-and-i-know-you-and-your-entire-family-extending-to-your-great-uncle-thirteen-times-removed-Gordon-Wayne: *typing on keyboard* what was that? Duke-I-created-a-cult-about-robin-and-also-i-was-raised-in-gotham: sorry?

[hydrachea]

Explorers of Sky is a good game.

[drakkonyan]

Turnabout visitor? what are you visiting you BOYFRIEND? checkmate, he's gay, we got him guys

[oocdc-tweets]

someone definitely questioned why donna and garth looked so familiar btw

Masterpost

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[farshootergotme]

I like the idea that Dick gets a new hairstyle every year. His hair's been through all kind of looks.

[shrugsinchinese]

The batkids, around 15 years later

Bonus

[mikeluciraphgabe]

I think we should look into Bruce Wayne’s garden people

He’s rich with a BIG ass property

Someone needs to cut that grass, fix up the flowers, trim a few trees, help the vegetables and fruits not get tangled, make sure the grave-yard doesn’t get overrun with weeds, etc etc

And, well, Alfred is getting a little too old to stay out in the sun that long/doesn’t have time with … other duties

Bruce would loved to, but as both Batman and running WE, he can’t

And his children definitely won’t do that thanks

He has no option but to hire a company

Do they find out he’s Batman purely by making a wrong turn with the mower? Yes. Do they say shit about fuck? Nope. They’re just happy that this tiny ass company that had like 5 people (3 related to the owner) is getting sudden hires/interest by others to actually say anything to anyone about Mr. Wayne and his kids’ activities at nighttime

(Also, points that they just Like It there cuz “WE employees don’t lie. Mr. Wayne is the best employer by far. We even have physical therapy covered if we happened to pull something on the job.”)