#dial 100

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[greghatecrimes]

Thirteen.exe has stopped responding

(warning for slight flashing)

[justaz]

arthur has always been suspicious of the tavern excuse for merlin’s absences, but he has no proof on the contrary and when confronted merlin either tells him outlandish tales of near death experiences that have no chance of being remotely truthful or he admits to and apologizes for slacking on his duties to get drunk. one day, he decides enough is enough and he and all the knights go to the tavern with merlin and arthur casually brings up merlin’s history in the tavern and says he could probably beat gwaine in a drinking contest. merlin tries to divert the discussion away from the idea but arthur is determined. they receive a round of drinks and arthur pushes a pint of ale into merlin’s hands with a look of challenge. merlin’s options are to either commit to the lie to hide his secret or admit to the lie and risk exposing his magic. he takes the former. merlin gives lancelot a Look and then slams back the pint of ale with a minor bit of gagging and pauses to breath. gwaine already finished his pint thirty seconds ago but its entertaining to watch merlin so he doesn’t say anything.

merlin (built like a twig, rarely drinks, lightweight) is proper sloshed. arthur is almost vindicated but he needs merlin to admit it. he orders two more pints and gives one to gwaine and the second to merlin, instigating the competition further despite the fact that gwaine won already. merlin grimaces and tries to do the same thing again but only gets a few gulps in before he folds. he slams the mug down and gives arthur a kicked puppy look before admitting and apologizing for lying. arthur is Vindicated. merlin is still wasted.

the nights wears on and merlin feels the effect of the ale more and more every minute that passes. he sits between arthur and lancelot and feels almost unbearably warm but that could be bc of the alcohol in his system, or the crowded tavern. merlin looks around and watches the people that pass their table by while the knights talk and joke and laugh amongst themselves. merlin feels relaxed and excitable now, his worries seem to have melted away and he cant seem to remember why he was always so stressed and worn down before. he sees a game of [insert game here] (i was gonna say darts but google says that game hasn’t been invented in canon time so ill leave it up to interpretation) going on and climbs over lancelot to join in.

the knights watch with amusement and anticipate merlin’s clumsy attempts at [whatever]. oddly enough tho, merlin is a fucking god at [game]. a small crowd gathers and betting pools form and then challengers approach and put money on the line to go against merlin and merlin absolutely demolishes them all. honestly if arthur didn’t know any better, he’d think merlin was using magic to win bc there was no way his bumbling fool of a servant was that good at…anything.

the challengers take their defeat with honor and grace. the audience is a huge fan of merlin and they keep buying him drinks but he just sends them to the table for the other’s to drink. many people come up to him and flirt, maybe motivated by all the money he won that night or maybe just bc he’s merlin, and when merlin responds to them he’s………..he’s a real good fucking flirt? like could put gwaine to shame and he’s rejecting them???? how can someone come across so flirtatiously while turning down offers to take various beautiful people to bed??

arthur was already itching to intervene when people were flirting with merlin but he seemed to have a handle on it so he let it slide, but then people started touching merlin and arthur’s hand had drifted to his hip where his sword was usually sheathed. however, again, merlin was very skilled at escaping the situations with little to no conflict and he came back to the table with his winnings. the knights cheer for him and order more drinks with his money which merlin is too inebriated to notice and truthfully doesn’t really care about. his eyes are on arthur and if arthur thought watching merlin flirt from afar was bad then having him up close in his personal space, hands brushing against his arms and dark eyelashes fluttering softly against his pale skin, breathing his name into the space between them and licking his full pink lips was absolute torture and the worst and best agony he couldn’t even dream up.

[dontbelasagnax]

To understand Obi-Wan, you have to understand that his reputation of being demure or a bitch are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I would say you can't have Obi-Wan without at least a little of both.

Obi-Wan is someone who always has a remark on the tip of his tongue. It's just his instinctual first reaction. Always some quip or bite of sarcasm. But the thing is, he knows when to rein it in. He knows when his choice words are appropriate and when they're not. And if he feels particularly compelled to be bitchy when he can't, he'll phrase things in a way that will be scathing without the target ever realizing what hit them.

He's known as the negotiator. He knows his way around words. Now, it's my understanding that we so rarely see him utilizing this particular skill set in canon because that's not what the story was ever about. It's demonstrated in other ways. How he's regal and more reserved amongst figures of respect to downright maliciously petty while facing foes like the Sith.

Take Anakin's perception of Obi-Wan. He sees Obi-Wan as a perfect, stuck-up, unflappable Jedi. This competes with the fact that Obi-Wan is particularly catty and playful with Anakin and routinely chides him for behaviors... yet does many of the same himself. He's far from perfect but obviously wants Anakin to know what's best and do better than him.

Anakin has this perception of Obi-Wan (not only because it seems he's never good enough for him) because it's how he perceives Obi-Wan's station in the world based on how Obi-Wan is treated by others.

To really get into Obi-Wan, one must talk about how his self worth issues constantly war his ego. Constantly building himself up only to tear himself down again. Going around saying Sith Lords are his specialty (having never actually defeated one lmao) yet finding himself shocked and deeply honored when Mace calls him the master of soresu.

His moments of grandeur are sharply transposed by his feelings of insignificancy and inadequacy.

He's a complex, multifaceted, hypocritical human being like any. He's elegant and bitchy and yes, at times a sopping wet cat.

He's all these things because he's Obi-Wan

[buttfrovski]

what the fuck is wrong with him? 😭😭😭

[dukeofthomas]

"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

[faultyvessel]

Thinking back to that line in Go To The Mirror? when Cecil’s mom says “why are you crying when you don’t even exist?” and how it plays into the current arc in the way that things are being explained away to seem like they never existed in the first place and how she was supposedly Prophetic and-

[currentlyonstandbi]

i am never going to mentally, spiritually or emotionally recover from the way they flashed between anakin and vader during the force dream and memories because it was like! yes ! exactly! you cannot have one without the other! just because anakin made the right choice in the end by saving luke and killing the emperor (and sacrificing himself in the process) it doesn't mean he ever stopped being vader ! it was a decision made in selfish love that started it all and it was a decision made in selfish love that ended it all. the parts of anakin that make him vader are the parts of him that make him anakin !!!!

[mettywiththenotes]

See it's panels like these that make me wish we could have had a full battle involving Izuku and Tomura fighting together with the vestiges against AFO

[pureseasalt]

the bear season 2 episode 6 has got to be the most uncomfortable i have ever felt watching a thing. i love it. i do not ever wanna see it again. take it away from me. fuck u to everyone involved. with ur consent, please let me kiss u on the mouth with tongue.

[kairithemang0]

I told my friend to stop texting me bcs I needed to screen record and they said “you really ARE in your editing era”

This was gonna be posted last night when I finished it but nOOOOOO the internet is garbage where I’m staying so I’m just hoping it works this time

I dunno I’ve had Dial Drunk in my head for a while, my sister has been listing to it on repeat. I was pretty neutral to it, but it’s pretty alright. Idk if I’d say the whole song is a Curt song, this line I think is though

I’ll probably end up elaborating on this in a future post but whenever I add songs to my shipping playlists I’m always worried I just like song and it just gets attached to whatever ship I’m into at the time

[introspectivememories]

shanks' need/desire to protect his friends and family from anything and everything vs buggy's gigantic inferiority complex that makes him take any act of protection/love as someone looking down on him, FIGHT

[aritany]

I want to hear a wedding story! (Only if u want to share ofc)

GOODNESS.

where to begin. notably, the funniest part of this story is the wedding night (no, not in the way you're thinking), so stick around for that.

previous context is the divorce story, which is significantly less funny, but it does talk about boobs, so, you know.

buckle up, folks.

okay pov you're me. you're 19. your now-fiancé just proposed to you in Front Of Your Mother, with whom you have a notably Contentious Relationship. you do not take this for the red flag that it is. instead, you start planning a wedding.

also, you're in university, because you're 19, and you're taking seven courses and your now-fiancé Wants To Fuck, (as many young christian men do, also because you, as previously mentioned in divorce story, have excellent tits) so this wedding is happening in 6 months.

weddings are very expensive. notably. you, being practical, and also very nearly friendless, are keen on a <30 person event. close friends and family only. your now-fiancé, on the other hand, knows Probably All Eight Billion People On The Planet, and so if it were not for budgetary reasons, would very much like to hold a 300+ person shebang. fortunately, budgets. 130 people on the guest list, all of a sudden. you mourn your intimate wedding dream privately.

as a rule, wedding planning is very stressful, but fortunately, your now-fiancé is an Exceptional Event Planner, so he's very eager to take over on the planning, including (and this is important), wedding night accommodations.

you realize very quickly into the planning process that this wedding is exceptionally transparently a way for your mother (youngest girl of 5) to show off to her siblings (all wealthy, she married a musician, life's rough, perhaps chill out, arlene) and as such, Choices Are Being Made. you are very nervously trying to not butt heads with her, considering the aforementioned Contentious Relationship, and previous experience/fear for your life expectancy.

believe it or not, your mother marrying a musician was an important point, because they popped out several musician babies to form the Von Trapp Family Nightmare of their dreams, and as such, your mother reminds you, there are expectations in place! people are practically coming to the wedding for the music! she tells you and then gets very huffy and insists it's a joke. you let her hire a guitarist for the prelude, because, whatever.

it is possible, due to your as-yet-undiscovered autismal nature, that you are not doing as well as you might think you are at disguising that you're not all that pleased, but overall you stuff it down. compromise is a part of life, whatever. more on this later.

the wedding day approacheth. you throw a bachelorette party with 5 people including your 15 year old sibling, because you are very cool with lots of friends. you get very smashed. mother is not pleased, due to the presence of said sibling, which is perhaps her only valid moment in this story. sorry, noa.

the night before the wedding is where things get a little bit spicy. because of the Contentious Relationship, you can smell a storm coming from a mile away, but all you know for sure is that your mother is Not Pleased With You, which is very stressful until about eleven pm, when your father elects to pull you aside to Have A Chat.

in said Chat, he tells you that you could really do a lot more to make your mother feel more special during the following day. you say, father? on my wedding day? he, also autismal, also afraid of your mother, says, you heard me. you ponder this, and then end up explaining awkwardly and painstakingly why you will not be doing this, due to the Contentious Relationship, Also, Abuse. your father, now sitting with the brand-new information that his wife Sucks, Like, Severely, doubles down.

through the balcony window, your mother sees you Having A Chat. assumedly, she feels very left out. you smell danger so you go inside to mitigate. she understands that she is the topic of discussion, and, i shit you not, throws everything she's holding onto the floor and marches out of the room.

you do not see her until forty-five seconds before the ceremony. instead, you go to your room, and you cry so hard you give yourself a nosebleed, and you sleep for about three hours.

wedding's a bit of a blur. mostly you remember eating bread in a golf cart after the ceremony, and that during the reception, your dress was so uncomfortable that it overshadowed almost everything else. also, you and your dad (who does not dance) choreographed a whole 5 minute deal to one of your favourite songs for your father-daughter dance and now you can't hear it without feeling like you're going to throw up, due to the bigotry.

NOW.

let's get to the juice.

you are ready to leave about .3 seconds into the reception, but it's sort of the whole deal that this is The Party that you're supposed to really stick around for, like, the whole time. so you are VERY brave. you dance like nobody's watching, or whatever. (you dance like everybody you know and respect is watching, because they are.)

eventually, you get to leave this party. you drive away in your car together, and you're very newly married, which is, naturally, very exciting.

now, earlier, i said we'd revisit compromise. here's where that's going to happen. see, when you're planning a wedding, you have to be very careful about the budget. your fiancé-turned-husband also happens to be very frugal, a quality that is frequently very useful, however.

However.

apparently, the budget didn't extend to a very nice wedding night. and, like, you're you. you're honestly just very relieved to not be financially and emotionally dependent on your mother, for aforementioned and i hope deeply obvious reasons. you do not have high expectations. you're not expectation champagne, or anything.

however, you're also not expecting to pull up to a comfort inn in the industrial area of downtown, an institution so fine that it is now Permanently Closed. you, in your terribly uncomfortable wedding dress, traipse into reception, where the receptionist proceeds to stay on the phone for 45 minutes.

eventually, she gives you your room key and tells you that your room is in the annex.

the annex, you think. that could be nice. maybe that's a special building. and it is. oh, it is special. you lug yourself and your suitcases across the parking lot to the annex, a grey building with grey windows that looks a little bit like a hidey-hole for a serial killer. you open the door.

inside, a double bed. it is concave. in the corner, a dog bed.

you realize very abruptly that for you, on your wedding night, with intention of Consummation™, YOUR FRESH HUSBAND HAS BOOKED FOR YOU THE ROOM THAT THEY GIVE YOU WHEN YOU SAY YOU'RE TRAVELING WITH A DOG.

/fin.

[ladywynne]

Unpopular opinion probably, but I hope they don't sissify Jake in future appearances. I want ruthless, please.

[rainbowcrowley]

i've been feeling so sovially awkward and weird these past few days, especially to friends... idk where it comes from but. i feel like an alien. idk how to people. it's so frustrating and i all i wanna do is hide in my room and never talk to anyone ever again 😓

[cyber-phobia]

Hi, help??

I'm so confused. I think I must be both autistic and ace enough to just not... get it?? Is there something I missed? I feel like there's some sort of context I missed to make this all make sense but I've been going through 4 different blogs to try and find what happened and why but.... the afo sandwich? Afo simps? What???

Sincerely,

Someone who wants to understand so they can get the joke and laugh about the chaos too

P.S.

Thanks

Gentry sicced AFO simps on Owl to cause chaos and then diverted them to me.

Im already aware that many of the people in my inbox send me filth because they think it will cause me suffering, and do not actually enjoy AFO.

I saw this as a threat and teamed up with @kstbj to create the AFO sandwich because of this anon specifically.