#I think I’d rather kill myself but yeah man

[osamudadzai]

I don’t think my periods like especially bad this month it’s just that I felt SO FINE. AND NORMAL. Before it so now it’s all hitting like a freight train

[lurochar]

Well-Fed

It isn't wise to harass Alastor's assistant. A man learns this the hard way.

Human Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Violence, unknowing cannibalism

--

What a pleasant night.

“F-fuck, please – what do you want?! I’ll… I’ll do anything!” The man pleaded, sniveling as he tried to crawl back, “J-just don’t kill me!”

What lovely begging.

Alastor hummed, eyeing the fallen man as he wondered in which way he should slaughter him that would best satisfy him and his current needs.

Should he just blow the man’s brain out? It’s not like he needed his head for anything – nothing really too edible there. It always made such a mess.

Maybe cut the man’s throat and make it a quick one? It always did give him a thrill to watch the life fade from one’s eyes and the absolute terror on their faces when there was nothing to be done. 

Possibly chop the man’s limbs off and watch him slowly bleed to death? He would probably put up too much of a fight and ruin too much of his meat and it would take far too long.

“Do you remember me?” Alastor asked, causing the man’s eyes to finally look at his face rather than the rifle in hand, “Or actually, do you remember the woman at the radio station earlier today?”

“Y-yeah, ‘course I remember you!” The man simpered, as if sucking up would actually save his life, “You’re Alastor Hartfelt, right? That radio host who’s the talk of the town right now?” His face twitched, “So, why you doing this?! Don’t fucking tell me…!” His eyes widened when he finally figured it out.

He wasn’t getting out of here alive.

“I asked, ‘do you remember the woman at the radio station earlier today’?” Alastor didn’t flinch in the least as he pulled his axe from the holster at his hip, swinging it down in a smooth motion, and easily severing the man’s hand.

He was screaming now, of course, in complete shock at the brutal action and he tried to scramble to his feet to run for his life, but Alastor already had his rifle at the ready, easily shooting him in the foot before he could do anything.

“I’d rather not repeat myself for a third time,” Alastor looked on in a bit of distaste when the man vomited, heaving and twitching around in agony. “It is why you are here, after all.”

The man didn’t answer or didn’t even hear him as he curled up into a sad little ball, causing Alastor to sigh in slight disappointment that his hunt was already over, but preparing meat took time and he had already invited you over to dinner the next night, so it was fine.

“Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?” Alastor knew he was talking to himself at this point as he knelt down as he reached for his knife from his belt, “I’d rather you not treat women like objects that you can use whenever you feel like it. Far too many men are like this. Imagine how Y/N felt when you cornered her in my radio station and groped her like a mindless animal? Perhaps as helpless as you are now? In any case, I do not tolerate any disrespect of such kind, especially with my lovely little assistant.”

He was rambling, he knew, he always did get like this when it came to you and your wellbeing.

“I’ve spent too much time on you,” Alastor tightened his grip on his knife, “I have a meal to prepare. I do hope you taste better than you look, my good chum.”

He hoped you liked Jambalaya.

–

“This is amazing!”

Alastor smiled, feeling absolutely pleased at your joyful expression as you took a bite of his cooking, clearly delighting in the flavour, “It’s my mother’s recipe, you see.” His eyes flashed, a dark satisfaction building up in him, “I’m glad you like it. I thought the meat might have been of too low quality.”

“No, no!” You went to reassure him, “I’m nothing fancy!” You eagerly took another bite. “You are a very good cook. Your mother must have taught you well. She must be very proud.”

“I would like to think so.” Alastor’s smile softened briefly at the thought, “I do try to be nothing less than a true gentleman. I believe my mother would have liked you very much so. I would like to share more of her recipes with you, if I may be so bold to ask?”

You flushed, looking down at your food before peering back up to Alastor with a shy smile, “I would like that too.” You did not recognize the mania behind Alastor’s eyes as you continued to eat his cooking.

“I’ll keep you well-fed, my dear.”

[ohmyamor]

he’s kinda hot | K.HJ

Pairing: Demon!Hongjoong x reader

Summary: After a decent run with your boyfriend, you finally decide to end it when his paranoia becomes too much. Except, maybe he wasn’t crazy. And now you have a demon who refuses to leave you alone. 

w.c. 4.6k

Warnings: fluff, slight angst if you squint, minor character death he’s a dick don’t worry, mentions of blood and icky sounds but nothing is seen directly, suggestive content, cursing, desire hongjoong lives in my mind rent free

There’s something wrong with your boyfriend. 

You first began to notice his odd behavior a little over a month ago, but for the past week, it’s gotten progressively worse. 

What started off as slight jumpiness and anxiety has now turned into full fledged paranoia, to the point where he refuses to ever leave the house, having breakdowns over this ‘person’ who’s after him.

“What do mean you can’t go with me?” You sighed exasperatedly, crossing your arms and staring at the sad excuse of a man standing in front of you. 

A few months ago, you might’ve cared about how tired and worn-down he looked, but now? At this point in your relationship?

You really couldn’t care less. 

“Are you crazy?” Your boyfriend all but shouts at you. 

You feel your jaw clench at his tone.

“Do you know what’ll happen if I go out there?” he continues shouting like a madman. “He’s going to get me! They’re all going to get me! It’s not safe for me out there!” 

There’s a crazed look in his eyes and you feel a slight chill run up your spine. 

You don’t think you want to stick around any longer to find out what his tipping point is going to be. 

“Okay, then stay,” you spit, marching over to the couch to grab your wallet and keys. “Stay here and rot for all I care because you have been nothing but a paranoid piece of shit lately and you refuse to get help.” 

“I’m not going to sit around and wait for this episode or whatever you want to call it,” you wave your hands around, “to end, because I have a life and I am not going to sit around waiting for you to get it together.” 

“So this relationship ends here,” you glare at him. 

“Good luck getting by without anybody who cares about you,” you let the words hang in the air as you walk to the front door and exit the apartment, slamming the door shut behind you. 

Huffing, you shove your wallet and keys into your pocket and begin the trek to the grocery store. 

-

After spending a few hours running errands and killing time, you’ve calmed down significantly. 

You had called your close friend Seonghwa on the way to the market, telling him what had happened between you and your now ex-boyfriend. 

“He sounds crazy,” Seonghwa had said over the phone. 

“I know Hwa, which is why I decided to end it because I refuse to stay in another relationship where the other person expects me to solve all of their problems,” you groaned. 

He hummed over the line. 

“Plus,” you continue. “There was this look, in his eyes and on his face, like he genuinely believed there was something out to get him.” 

Seonghwa is quiet. 

“I don’t know,” you sigh. “It just gave me a really bad feeling and you know how I feel about gut instincts. I’d rather trust myself and be safe than sorry.” 

“Yeah of course. Honestly honey, I think you did the right thing. I never liked him from the beginning, but you were happy and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, but I agree, if you have a bad feeling about something, you should always trust your intuition,” Seonghwa reassures you. 

You let out a small laugh. 

“And don’t worry,” he continues, “You’re an amazing person and a great catch, so it’ll be no time before you have someone else falling at your feet.” 

You roll your eyes. 

Even if he can’t see you, Seonghwa’s known you for long enough to anticipate your habits. 

“Thank you Hwa,” you smile into the phone. 

“Anytime.”

The two of you chatted on for a little bit more after that, with Seonghwa letting you know he always had an extra room in case you needed to crash at his place for a while. 

You thanked him once again but refused his offer. After all, the lease on the apartment was under your name, and you paid most of the bills, so if anyone was going to be leaving, it’s going to be your ex. 

The conversation was definitely much-needed, and after the reassurance that you weren’t crazy for ending your relationship, you felt much more confident to head back to your apartment and kick out the man living there. 

Once you finally made it back to your building, you exited the elevator and walked down the corridor to your apartment door. Taking deep breaths, you began to steel your nerves in order to prepare for whatever breakdown the male might have. 

As you approached your door, you noticed that it looked slightly open. 

You pause in your footsteps, narrowing your eyes to see if the door was truly open or if it’s just a trick of your eyes. 

Dread begins to build in your stomach when you realize that your door is, in fact, open. 

It’s fine, you attempt to reassure yourself in your mind. Maybe he finally got the hint and left. 

Cautiously, you approach the door and push it open with your foot. 

Stepping inside, you notice how eerily quiet it is. 

Normally when you come back from work or running errands, your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, you remind yourself, is doing something to keep himself busy in his self-appointed quarantine. Whether it’s playing a video game or watching T.V., there’s always some kind of noise echoing throughout your small apartment. 

But now, there’s nothing. 

It’s also incredibly dark. 

Dropping the grocery bags onto the floor softly, you reach into your pocket to pull out your keys. You move to the turn on the light switch that’s on the wall, but freeze when you hear whimpering coming from somewhere in the room. 

You opt to not turn on the light, unsure of where the noise is coming from and also slightly terrified of what’s going on. 

You keep one hand on your phone, ready in case you need to call the police.

Quietly and ever so slowly, you make your way to the bedroom where the whimpering noise is coming from. 

The door to your room is slightly ajar, allowing a few rays of light to peek through. On the carpet in the hallway is a dark trail of something. 

You swallow thickly, hoping it’s not what you think it is. 

You stop in front of the bedroom door and strain your ears to listen to the noises coming from the room. With your heart pounding loudly in your chest, you come to the realization that the whimpers are coming from your ex-boyfriend. 

“Now, now, now,” a voice that is certainly not your boyfriend’s rings out. 

“Crying isn’t going to get you anything,” the voice chuckles. “You knew what the price of the deal was, and yet, you still tried to double-cross me.” 

There’s more muffled crying. 

“Silly human,” the voice says sinisterly. 

“Didn’t anybody ever warn you to not make deals with the devil?” 

The sound of flesh being torn reaches your ears along with pained crying, and you feel sick to your stomach when a metallic smell reaches your nose. 

You bring your hands up to cover your mouth to prevent yourself from gagging. You have no clue what you should even do at this point. Whatever’s in there with your ex is either an incredibly deranged human being, or something not even human. 

You don’t want to find out which one it is.

After what feels like forever, the muffled crying stops, and your stomach sinks when you come to realization that your ex might now be dead. 

The person inside the room sighs. 

“Open the door sweetheart.” 

Your blood runs cold. 

Raising a trembling hand, you move to push the door open, bracing yourself for whatever gruesome sight awaits you and whatever monster you’ll see standing in your room. 

Except, you see neither. 

There is no body in your room, nor is there any blood or gruesome mess. 

There’s also certainly no monster. 

Instead, a man sits on a single chair in the middle of the room. 

He has bright red hair and a slightly pointed nose. Jewelry adorns his ears and hands, and he wears a pair of dark dress pants with a white shirt that’s tucked in. His sleeves are rolled up on his arms.

If it weren’t for the small splatters of a red substance on his otherwise pristine shirt, you might’ve thought that what you heard before never happened. 

Your eyes drag over his figure before coming to rest on his face. The two of you make eye contact and a shiver runs down your spine at the wicked smile he sends you. 

“Did you enjoy our little show?”

You say nothing. 

The man sighs and places his hands on his thighs, pushing himself up off the chair. He takes a few steps forward until he stands less than a foot away from you. 

I’m going to die, you think.

I’m going to die a horrible and gruesome death and no one will ever know and i’ll never see my friends again and i’ll never say goodbye to my parents and-

The man chuckles.

“You’re not going to die.” 

“Allow me to introduce myself,” the man reaches his hand out to gently grab yours. He bows slightly, bringing your hand up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on the back of your hand while maintaining eye contact.

“My name is Hongjoong and I’m the demon who just took care of your pesky little boyfriend problem.” 

-

Was laughing out loud to the man’s, demon’s?, introduction the best choice?

Probably not. 

But you cannot be blamed for your habit of laughing in awkward situations. 

After all, here is this man, who just admitted to killing your ex-boyfriend, introducing himself to you as a demon and also kissing the back of your hand like the two of you were in the 1700′s. 

What sane person would have a normal reaction to that?

As soon as the sound made its way out of your body, your free hand immediately slapped itself over your mouth and your eyes widened in horror. 

If the demon didn’t have any plans on killing you at first, he’s definitely going to now. 

The man doesn’t say anything, simply raising a brow as a small smile takes over his face. 

“I’m glad you found my introduction so amusing sweetheart, but I can assure you, this is certainly real.”

As he said that, you watched in slight horror as his eyes faded from a soft brown color to dark pools of black. Swallowing, you attempt to tug your hand out of the demon’s grasp to try and back away, but his grip only tightens. 

He clicks his tongue and within a fraction of a second, his eyes have returned to brown. 

“Why are you here?” You finally muster up the courage to speak. Despite your attempts to sound even the slightest bit brave, the waver to your voice was obvious. 

Hongjoong sighs, annoyed. 

“That sorry excuse of a man you called your boyfriend was in my debt. I made it clear to him when he made a deal with me what the price would be, and he still attempted to evade me.” He rolled his eyes and for a split second, the demon reminded you of a parent whose child wouldn’t listen. 

“What deal did he make?” You question, your curiosity getting the better of you. 

The demon looks back at you. 

“Nothing that concerns your pretty little self,” he winks. 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at his actions. 

“Considering you just killed him, I think it’s safe to assume it was a pretty important deal,” you challenge. 

A grin creeps onto Hongjoong’s face. 

“So you have the looks and the brains to accompany it,” his smile widens. 

You try to fight back the heat that was rising to your cheeks. 

Yeah, maybe he’s a demon who killed your ex-boyfriend, but he’s also an incredibly attractive demon who just called you smart and beautiful. Who are you to deny his compliments?

“But,” Hongjoong continues. “If you must know, he wanted to become wealthy and successful.” He takes a glance at your reaction. “And he wanted lots of women.” 

You can’t hide the disgusted look that makes its way onto your face. 

“That piece of shit,” you mutter under your breath. 

After everything you did for him, he still had the audacity to go behind your back, make a deal with a demon, and wish for wealth and women?

I really know how to pick ‘em, you think bitterly. 

Hongjoong continues, noticing the look on your face. 

“But no need to worry, sweetheart. I’ve taken care of your little problem, and I do think you come out of this fiasco the winner.” 

Your eyebrows furrow and you stare at him in confusion. 

Hongjoong leans in close, close enough where you can feel his breath on your face and his lips are mere inches from yours. His eyes have slowly begun to bleed black and another wicked smile makes its way onto his face.

“Now, you have me.” 

- 

It seems as though demons share the unfortunate similarity to human males where they seem to be extra sensitive in between their legs. 

Unfortunately for Hongjoong, you had taken advantage of his proximity to knee him where the sun doesn’t shine. While he doubled over in pain, you take the opportunity to run out of your bedroom and head straight for the front door. 

I just need to get out, I need to call someone, I need to call Seonghwa-

Right as your fingers brush against the door handle, a hand grabbed at your wrist and yanked you back. 

Grunting, you land harshly on the floor, the breath being knocked out of you. A weight over your body makes you wince. Opening your eyes, you watch as Hongjoong straddles your waist, his hands coming down to rest near your head. 

He clicked his tongue. 

“Nice try cutie, but you can’t get away from me that easily.” 

Struggling, you attempt to shove him off of you, but despite his slightly smaller stature, the stupid demon won’t budge. 

“I didn’t make a deal with you!” You cry out, punching his chest. “You got what you wanted, so leave me alone!” 

Hongjoong lets out a chuckle. 

“I don’t think you get it sweetheart. I want you.” 

“Why?” You pant, your adrenaline slowly fading and confusion taking over. 

Hongjoong shrugs. 

“You intrigue me.” 

You can’t help but roll your eyes. 

“How romantic,” you say sarcastically. 

“See, this is what I mean,” he gestures down at your body that is still laying on the floor. “When I was dealing with your boyfriend, you heard what was going on and instead of leaving, you stayed behind the door.” 

He knew I was there the entire time?

“When I introduced myself, you laughed, and even after our entire conversation, you still had the gall to hurt me to try and run away.” He stares into your eyes so deeply that you can’t help but squirm slightly. 

“It’s called a fight or flight response.” 

Hongjoong giggles, and if it weren’t for the fact that you are currently pinned down beneath the demon, you honestly might find it kind of cute. 

Sighing, you let your hands fall to the floor next to you. Hongjoong looks at you slightly amused. 

“So what, you’re gonna stick around and when you eventually get bored, you’re gonna kill me and take me soul?”

He tilts his head to the side. 

“I can if you want me to.” 

With wide eyes, you shake your head no. 

“That’s what I figured,” Hongjoong chuckles. “No, you haven’t made a deal with me, so I won’t take your soul. You’re just stuck with me now.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal. 

“Great,” you sigh. 

-

In Hongjoong’s defense, having him around isn’t that bad. 

For the most part, he sticks to himself, observing you as you go about your day. 

“That’s really creepy,” you mentioned offhandedly one day. 

“What is?” Hongjoong questioned. 

“This whole, standing and staring thing you have going on,” you waved your hand around. 

“Would you prefer me to be up close and personal with you?” In the blink of an eye, Hongjoong is standing directly against you. 

Taking a step back, you raise your hands in front of you. 

“No, I’m fine, you can continue with your staring.” 

On occasion, he can be pretty helpful, too. 

You slam the door to your apartment open, stomping inside and throwing your bag on the floor. You throw yourself face-first onto the couch and let out a muffled scream. 

From where he sits at the dining table watching Netflix on your computer, Hongjoong stares at you, amused. 

“Is everything okay sweetheart?”

“No,” comes your muffled reply. 

If Hongjoong didn’t have incredibly sharp hearing, he would have a hard time understanding you. 

“Stupid Eric from work thinks he can just treat all the women like pieces of meat and get away with it because he’s the boss’s son,” you spit. 

You miss the way Hongjoong’s face darkens. 

“Did he do something to you?” He questions. 

You’re silent for a moment, debating if you want to say it out loud.

“It’s just,” you trail off, unsure how to say it.

Hongjoong hums, letting you know that he’s listening.

“He’s always made comments to all the women in my department, and those are easy to ignore, but today he got really close to me when we were in the break room.”

You can feel your body tense up as you relive the moment.

“Honestly, I thought he was going to try and do something, but luckily, one of our coworkers walked in before he could do anything,” you admit.

It’s silent for a few seconds.

“I’ll be back,” are the only words that come out of Hongjoong’s mouth.

You sit up abruptly from the couch.

“Huh?”

Before you can even finish speaking, Hongjoong is gone.

“So much for moral support,” you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back against the couch.

It’s not until late that the demon returns.

You’re sitting on your bed with a face mask on, scrolling through work emails when Hongjoong appears suddenly at the foot of your bed.

You jump slightly, only calming down when you realize who it is.

“Fuck dude, you can’t keep doing that,” you chastise him, trying to calm your racing heart.

Hongjoong says nothing, staring at you.

It’s only then you notice the way his eyes are completely black and he’s breathing abnormally hard.

A shiver crawls up your spine.

“Are you okay?” You ask hesitantly.

Still, Hongjoong remains quiet for a moment before rolling his shoulders back, a deep exhale escaping him.

“You don’t need to worry about that Eric anymore,” is all he says before walking out of your room.

Although you’re slightly horrified at the implications of his words, you also can’t deny the fuzzy feeling in your chest over his actions.

The most annoying part about having him around, though, is the teasing.

Hongjoong seems to have made it his mission to fluster you. 

Constantly.

You had just stepping out of the bath, a satisfied sigh escaping you as you wrapped a fuzzy towel around your body.

After a long week, the long, warm bath was incredibly needed.

Softly combing through your hair, you hum slightly as you go through your nighttime skincare routine, being extra thorough and gentle.

Once you finish, you open the door to your bathroom and step out into your room, only to gasp when you see Hongjoong laying on your bed.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You exclaim as one of your hands reaches up to tightly grab the towel that’s wrapped around your body.

Hongjoong glances over at you, drinking in the sight of your damp body.

“Enjoying the view,” he winks.

You roll your eyes, walking over to the bedroom door and opening it.

“Get out.”

The demon pouts as he sits up on your bed.

“C’mon, don’t you think I’ve been good lately?” He stands up slowly and begins making his way over to you.

Hongjoong gets closer, a small smirk making its way onto his face.

“Don’t you think I deserve a reward?”

You stand completely still against the wall, gulping harshly. There’s a heat that builds in your lower stomach as you stare into his hooded eyes.

One of Hongjoong’s hands creeps up to gently toy with the edge of the towel that lays against your chest.

“If you ever feel so kind,” Hongjoong leans in to whisper against your ear. “You know where to find me.”

He leans away from you, tongue darting out to lick his lips.

Wordlessly, he walks out of your bedroom and shuts the door.

You quickly place the lock on it before sitting down on your bed. Placing a hand over your chest, you feel it beat harshly against your chest.

What the fuck was that?

-

Today is a particularly bad day.

From running late in the morning, missing your normal bus to work, and being reprimanded for a mistake you didn’t even do, you think your last straw is when it starts pouring on your way home.

Of course, the weatherman certainly did not predict this today, so you were left umbrella-less and with only a thin blazer to shield yourself from the elements.

And, with your incredible luck, a call from your mother nagging about why you haven’t visited in a few months and how you need to start thinking about a more serious career really seemed to tip you over the edge.

You don’t even make it all the way home, instead opting to go to the nearby park to sit and be alone for a little while.

The rain hasn’t stopped, but it no longer bothers you. In fact, you welcome the harsh sting of water against your skin. It’s the only feeling you seem to be able to comprehend at this moment.

You sit on the swing and stare numbly at your feet. There are tears making their way down your cheeks, but you cannot distinguish them from the rain.

You’re not sure how long you sit there alone.

Only the sudden lack of water pelting down on you causes you to look up.

Standing next to you in casual clothes is Hongjoong. He holds an umbrella over you, the rain beginning to soak his left side.

You hadn’t even notice him approach.

“You know, if you wanted to get killed or die from a hypothermia, this is a for sure way to do it,” he jokes.

You don’t respond.

Hongjoong notices your lack of response and furrows his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

His tone is gentle, probably the softest you’ve ever heard him speak.

You can’t stop the sobs that leave your mouth at his words.

Without hesitation, Hongjoong drops the umbrella and falls to his knees in front of you. He brings his arms up as you fall into the chest, your face burrowing itself into his neck.

He says nothing as you cry, rubbing his hands softly against your back and stroking your hair.

It takes a few minutes for your sobs to die down and when you do, Hongjoong gently pulls your body away from his to look at you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He questions, eyes searching your own.

The look of despair on your face breaks Hongjoong’s heart. His chest physically hurts at the way you seem to be in so much pain, and him, unable to do anything about it.

He can’t remember the last time he felt so distraught over a human.

“I’m so tired,” you breathe out, closing your eyes. 

A few stray tears make their way down your cheeks and Hongjoong cups your face with his hands, gently brushing them away.

“Then use me,” He says.

“Rest on me, take your anger out on me, hurt me, laugh at me, I don’t care.”

The raw honesty in his voice causes you to open your eyes and stare at him.

“It hurts me to see you in pain,” he frowns.

You let out a weak chuckle.

“I didn’t know demons could feel pain,” you attempt to joke.

Hongjoong doesn’t reply, only continuing to stare at you as if he’s trying to commit every inch of your face to memory.

“I feel so strongly for you it hurts,” he whispers.

Your eyes widen and you stare into his, trying to search for any inkling of deceit that will let you know he’s lying.

You can’t find any.

Your mouth parts, but no words come out. Hongjoong runs one of his fingers over your bottom lip.

“If you let me,” he glances from your lips up to your eyes. “I want to be your everything, the same way you are mine.”

The only thing that leaves your lips is a breathy sigh of his name. He leans in closer.

“May I?” He asks lowly.

You barely have a chance to nod before Hongjoong is crashing his lips onto yours.

The kiss is passionate, slightly desperate in the way he clutches onto your face and pulls you closer, as if you’ll disappear from his hands if he leaves even an inch of space between your bodies.

Hongjoong lightly nibbles on your lower lip and you let out a soft sigh. One of his hands has moved to your hip, where it rubs soft circles.

Eventually pulling away from each other, you lean your forehead against his.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” Hongjoong admits to you.

You let out a small laugh and shake your head.

“You’re like a million years old, I find that slightly hard to believe.”

He shakes his head no, grabbing your hand and bringing it up to rest against his chest where his heart is. Underneath your palm, you feel the way his heart pounds.

“This is all for you,” Hongjoong smiles.

“Only for you.”

bonus!

You and Hongjoong were enjoying a night in, laying down on your bed as a movie played on the T.V. Hongjoong had draped himself over your lap, resting his head on your stomach as you gently combed your hands through his hair. 

“You know, for a demon, I thought you would have horns or something,” you mumble, eyes focused on the screen. Hongjoong’s body shakes with slight laughter. 

“Just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean I have horns. That’s kind of stereotypical of you to assume,” he teases. 

You roll your eyes, lightly smacking him on the back of his head. 

“I do have fangs though,” he mentions after a couple of seconds. 

Your eyes widen. 

“Really?”

Hongjoong hums, leaning up slightly to face you. He opens his mouth and you watch as his teeth slowly become pointed. Gaping, you bring your hand up to softly run your fingers over the sharp edges. Your breath hitches slightly when you press the pad of your finger on the point of his tooth and it leaves a small wound. 

Grinning, Hongjoong crawls on top of you. 

“Do you like them?” he asks. 

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he’s leaning down and leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses on your neck. You let out a breathy sigh, moving your head to side to give him more access. You can’t stop the whimper that escapes when he drags the tips of his sharpened teeth against your skin. 

Pulling back to look at your flushed face, Hongjoong smirks, black seeping into his eyes. 

“Oh sweetheart,” he purrs. “We’re going to have so much fun.” 

                                        ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[onceonafullmoon]

Convos With Rin

Rin x Gn! Reader

No warnings! Just pure fluff, also you can ignore the last 2 lines if you want to read this as platonic!

Aka: maladaptive daydreams by yours truly that I cleaned up and formatted. Part 2 here

“Sometimes I wonder if the idealized, romanticized version of relationships I’ve built up in my head are subconsciously affecting my navigation in reality.”

“What?” Rin asks, rolling over from where he lies on his bed to look at you, his teal eyes switching from his phone to glance over at you.

“Sorry, that was word vomit.” You say waving a hand dismissively before speaking again. “It’s just… I mean that I wonder if my expectations of romantic relationships have been distorted because of all the media I consume. And I wonder if that would ruin any chance I have of a healthy relationship.”

You absentmindedly start fiddling with your fingers as you speak.

“Like, for example dating sims, every love interest is over possessive and jealous, and that’s fine, cause it’s a fantasy. And obviously it’s not endorsed in real life, because if you date someone who foams at the mouth every time you look at another man, you’ll have issues. But… sometimes I wonder if I’ll think back to those dumb games when I’m in a relationship and choose something unhealthy for myself.”

A comfortable silence lapses after your ramblings and you wait patiently for your best friend's response.

“…you sure do think a lot more than I expected.” He says after a while and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Wow thanks.” You drone out. “You know what? I’d rather you have just flipped me off and called me a dumbass than whatever attempt of a compliment that was.”

“Didn’t mean it like that, I meant that I’d never once thought about that.” He says cooly, in a way that makes you unfairly jealous of his demeanor.

“Yeah? Well, I’m not surprised. Your brain is composed of 50% football and the other half is basic motor skills. I doubt you’ve even thought of anything outside of that.”

“…not true.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. Somewhere, squeezed between the cracks of those key areas, is your vast knowledge of horror trivia.” You joke, your eyes darting over his sprawled form.

“…” He hesitates to respond before muttering out. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What’d you mean then?”

“…nothing, never mind.”

“Oh boo, you whore.” You scoff, sitting up in his desk chair to devote your attention to him. “Come on tell meeee! I tell you everything… well, almost everything but— nonetheless…”

He glares but you simply smile at him before waiting eagerly for him to finally loosen his tongue and spill whatever he has locked away from you.

And maybe deep down he knows that there’s no winning against you because he ends up opening his mouth to speak.

“I…I think about romance sometimes.” He eventually admits, his eyes darting back to his phone in embarrassment.

“Oho?” You straighten up further, a goading grin on your face much to his annoyance. “Our little Rinrin is growing up!”

“Fuck you, this is why I don’t tell you shit.”

“Aww come on, I won’t tease you anymore I promise! Please tell me more!” You practically beg, looking at him with prying eyes.

“This is lame.” Rin scoffs.

“You’re lame! Romance is perfectly natural. Anyways, is this a crush? A passing fantasy?”

“Why do you care so much?”

“I live vicariously through my friends’ love lives, now spillll!” You say, dragging out the last syllable deliberately to piss him off.

“I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Why not?” You say a pout on your lips.

“Because you’re annoying and you’re only asking to make fun of me.”

“What? Me?” You gasp out in faux surprise. “Never, could I ever make fun of you, after all you’re my dearest most important–”

“Save it.” He cuts you off, content to ignore you now, engrossed in his phone.

“Kill joy… I’ll get it out of you one of these days.” You say darkly before leaning back to sulk in his chair.

“Over my dead body.” He mutters, but if you looked over to him again, you’d see the tell tale way his gaze fell back to you.

Unfortunately for you, Rin’s crush would stay a secret for just a little while longer.

[jobean12-blog]

Wild For You

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader (Biker!Joel AU)

Word Count: 1,359

Summary: A new coworker at the bar treats you poorly and it really ruins your day but thankfully you have your amazing man to come home to and he makes everything better. 

Author’s Note: Just some more of our favorite soft Biker 😍I missed him this week and since it’s Monday I really just want to plant myself in this man’s lap and never leave! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️ Both dividers by the lovely @firefly-graphics Thanks a bunch Daisy🥰

Warnings: he’s super soft, sweet, and protective, but very flirty and a little bossy (in the best way) and super s-e-x-y and there’s some light angst and i-mp-li-e-d s-e-x-y time

Joel Miller Masterlist

“Oh darlin’,” Joel croons. “Come ‘ere.”

You fall into his strong arms, snuggling into his lap and clutching the front of his shirt. You let out a sniffle as hot tears roll down your cheeks, soaking the material.

“Maybe I’m overreacting?” you question quietly, nuzzling against his chest. “I don’t know what I could have done to make him…”

“No you’re not,” he says abruptly, cutting you off. “Nothin’ you could have done makes what that asshole said to you ok. No one talks to you like that.”

At his gruff response you look up into his eyes now hardened with fierce determination. His large thumb swipes across your wet cheeks, calloused skin gentle and soothing.

Emotion fills his voice as he growls, “he sounds like a real shithead and if he ever so much as looks at you in a way you don’t like again I’m goin’ to end him.”

“End him?” you say as a small smile pulls at the corner of your mouth.

“Yeah,” he scoffs, taken aback by your slight amusement. “I’ll fuckin’ kill him.”

“I will never understand how you can be so scary and so cuddly at the same time,” you sigh as you lay your head along his shoulder.

He gently rubs your back as he tugs you closer.

“Did you just call me cuddly darlin’?”

“I did,” you whisper. “So warm and cuddly and strong.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been called cuddly in my entire life,” he chuckles.

“Mm,” you hum, kissing his neck. “You better only be cuddly for me.”

“Only you sunshine,” he murmurs before kissing the top of your head.

You stay like that for a while. Just basking in his warmth and comfort. So thankful you have him to come home to after an awful day.

Suddenly your stomach growls.

“Hungry darlin’?” he laughs, his body lightly shaking with the action.

“I guess so,” you mumble into his shirt, unwilling to leave his arms.

“You need to eat,” he says firmly, his fingers pressing under your chin until you’re looking up at him.

“So bossy!” you state as you sit up.

He grins wickedly. “You love when I’m bossy.”

You chew your bottom lip then lower your lashes. “I do, especially when you have me pinned…”

“Don’t distract me,” he warns. “I need to feed you first then we can play.”

Your face brightens as an idea comes to you.

“Can we make cookies?” you ask. “That’s food.”

“As much as I love your baking cookies aren’t dinner.”

You stand and glare at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Fine,” you pout. “I’d rather have cookies though.”

“Me too,” he says and quickly follows it with, “but dinner first.”

You frown. “But they’re for your eating pleasure,” you push, raising your brows.

“I’d rather eat you for pleasure,” he simpers. “But…”

You shiver at his words despite your discontent.

“I KNOW! I know” you huff. “But dinner first,” you mock with some sass.

You saunter into the kitchen, sure to put some extra sway behind your hips.

“Bossy, bossy…” you now mutter as you bend over to get a pot from the lower cabinet.

“I heard that darlin’,” he smiles as he follows you into the kitchen, his gaze glued to your ass.

You turn to face him when you feel the heat of him at your back. His eyes are soft as he traces the outline of your jaw.

“It’s been a long day. I want you to eat something good and then we can have cookies and then I’ll boss you around some more…”

His words trail off as he dips his head and steals your lips in a kiss that makes you forget about everything but him. When he pulls away your eyes remain closed and you cling to him, your fingers fisted into his shirt.

“Ok,” you breathe out. “Dinner first.”

“I’m takin’ you to work today,” he say decisively as he watches you get ready the next afternoon.

He’s sitting up in your bed, naked except for the sheet covering his lower half, and leaning against the bed frame with one arm resting behind his head.

You turn to meet his eyes, your gaze running down over his bare chest, lingering on his tattoos before falling to what’s beneath the covers.

“Are you going to be bossy like this all the time now?”

Your question has him smirking. “Well we are in the bedroom.”

“I should call out,” you muse, still staring at him.

He shifts his legs invitingly and pats the bed.

“Joel,” you warn but your lips twitch with a smile.

“Darlin’,” he counters, mischief dancing in his warm brown eyes.

You deflate somewhat as the realization of the reality of the situation hits you. “I can’t avoid this asshole forever. I like my job. He’s not going to ruin it for me.”

Your words seems to spark him into action and he nods grimly. “I’m gonna get dressed while you finish getting ready then we’ll take my bike.”

When you pull up to the bar Joel helps you off his bike, his hand wrapped tightly around yours as he leads you toward the door.

“I feel bad you’re going to sit here and babysit me all night,” you say quietly, stopping and pulling him to the side.

“Sweetheart,” he whispers, tenderly pressing his palm to your cheek. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I feel much better being here with you and making sure you’re ok and it’s not babysitting…more I’m like your bodyguard.”

He smiles smugly and you lean into his touch, some of the tension easing slightly when he pulls you close and tucks you into his chest.

“My hot and sexy bodyguard boyfriend,” you giggle. “Who’s also seriously cuddly.”

He mumbles something incoherent and grumpy causing you to laugh, the sound lightening his mood as he walks you into the bar.  

He greets Dan and Jade, before he sits on one of the stools and adjusts his leather jacket and scans the room.

Your friend Jade rushes over and hugs you. “How are you?” she asks.

“Doing better. I just hope it’s a good night.”

Jade nods then her eyes shift to Joel. “With Joel here everything will be fine,” she says with an encouraging look. “And honestly, if Jack’s stupid enough to run his mouth again you’re taking it to the boss and Dan and I will back you up! That is…if Joel doesn’t kill him first.”

Jade grins at the thought.

You smile at your boyfriend then give your friend a thankful squeeze.  

“I’m just going to the back room to put my things away,” you inform Joel.

He reaches for your hand over the bar, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Ok darlin’,” he answers quietly.

As you start to walk off you see Jack coming around the bar and your shoulders instantly tense. With a swift glance at Joel you see his jaw tick, his teeth grinding as he zeroes in on the source of your dismay.

Thankfully, Jack gets hailed by a waiting customer and you can slip by him without any interaction.

Once you’re in the back room you let out a deep exhale and grab a bottle of water. The sound of the door creaking open draws your attention and you swing wide eyes in that direction.

At the sight of Joel you visibly relax but he can still see the tension riding your shoulders.

“I’m dallying,” you admit, “but I’m going to go out there and do my job and Jack can fuck off!”

“That’s my girl,” he winks.

Joel gives you an affectionate smile that turns naughty as he closes the door behind him and locks it.

“What are you doing?” you ask as he stalks toward you.

Your breathing is shallow as he takes you by the hips and walks you back into the lockers.

“Helping you relax,” he murmurs against your mouth as his fingers trail across your stomach before sliding into the waistband of your leggings.

You suck in a breath, his name a whispered plea on your parted lips.

“Remember to be quiet darlin’.”

@sstan-hoe @blackwidownat2814​ @pedritosdarling​ @beccablogsthings​ @justsimplevicky​ @laineyreads​ @lorilane33​ @littleseasiren​

[tachiharastanacc]

“Traitor! I’ll never forgive you for this!”

He could hardly believe that he was the one speaking the words, spitting them at the people he considered some of his closest friends. The man he considered a kind of father.

It was him that should be screamed at. That should be cursed out. He was in no place to accuse anyone of anything.

And yet.

“I trusted you! How could you do this to me?!”

The traitorous old bastard in question didn’t move, staring at him with a pitied gaze.

“Michizou-“

“Don’t fucking talk to me!”

“Can we wrap this up? I have an appointment to annoy Kunikida after this, and I can’t miss it.”

And then there was the damn detective. A far cry from the Port Mafia executive that he used to hear reports about, the obnoxious fucker had walked up behind him and cheerily cuffed their hands together.

If Tachihara hadn’t grown up around Jouno, he might’ve been impressed.

“Tachihara, it’s not that we want to hurt you or anything…”

Higuchi, in her ever-sensitive state was standing behind Hirotsu, holding onto the arm of a mildly annoyed Akutagawa. At least, that was how he wanted to come off.

Tachihara could practically smell the disappointment coming off him in waves.

“No. You just wanna get rid of me! This is revenge for betraying you!”

He considered lunging at them, but he doubted they’d fall for the bluff. And at the end of the day, he knew he wouldn’t actually hurt them.

Plus, he was dragging around about 67kg of dead weight.

“We don’t want to get rid of you. You know that.”

Hirtosu continued speaking in that same antagonizing tone of voice. As if Tachihara were some cornered animal he were trying to soothe. Or worse, a child throwing a temper tantrum.

“Do I?! Cuz you’re the ones who fucking ambushed me!”

It was supposed to be a simple picnic. That was all he wanted. The only request he’d made.

‘Before I die, I wanna do something. As a family.’

It’d been an embarrassing thought. And even more embarrassing to say. But after everything that had happened, spending his last two days with the them seemed like bliss.

“Tachihara.”

Gin’s voice was soft as always. Gentle in ways that the others couldn’t even fathom being. He’d refused to look at her, and he wasn’t planning on starting now. She of all people should know how he felt.

It was her that he’d told first.

‘Yeah. The Hunting Dogs are fucked like that. But hey, I wouldn’t trade this for the world. I’d rather die in a couple days than spend a life away from all of you.’

Gin hadn’t said anything at first. Just quietly ran her fingers through his hair as he talked.

The next day, the boss called him up.

He’d essentially taken one glance at the shadowed corner of his office and vehemently declared it was Tachihara’s choice and he wasn’t going to get involved.

Tachihara, meanwhile, had made his position very clear when he’d pulled a sword on his own commander.

And yet.

“Fool. To think you’d throw away your future for a bunch of lowlives.”

Tachihara gracefully didn’t mention the fact that Akutagawa had done the same thing for a man he claimed to hate not even a month prior.

“You’re one to fucking say shit! You spent years pining after praise from a man who tries to kill himself every other day.”

He turned to the bandaged man essentially holding hands with him.

“No offense.”

“None taken! Though, if you wanted to commit a double suicide, all you had to do was ask~”

“Is that some kinda joke to you?! My brother killed himself ya know! It’s not fucking funny!”

He paused.

“And I ain’t suicidal either!”

“Maybe not, but you don’t really value your own life~”

“Keep talking to me like that and I’ll grant your last wish and end you myself!”

“Enough. Both of you.”

Hirtosu, as always, was the voice of reason.

It was frustrating though, having the old man treat them like squabbling children. Even if they were. In a way.

And even if Dazai was right. In a way.

“It’s not…that I dislike bein’ alive or something. I just…”

He was a hunting dog. He’d been trained to always fight for justice. He was a weapon to be wielded. A soldier to be ordered around. A dog sent to catch its prey, no matter the cost of the hunt.

That was who he was. Who he was designed to be.

That was why he had tried to slit his throat without hesitation, if it meant not being turned against the world.

“Tachihara…”

Higuchi was still behind the others, but she took a step forward as she spoke. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears. Great.

“Nee-san, I didn’t mean…”

Curse the damn detective. No wonder Chuuya couldn’t stand him.

Thought to be honest, his instincts as a spy told him otherwise.

“That’s not the damn point! The point is that you ignored what I wanted! You lied to me and said we could spend today together! Why is that so hard to understand?! That I wanna spend the day with the…with the only family I got left.”

Higuchi turned away from him, but he could hear the sob she muffled behind her hand. Even Hirtosu, usually so calm, so stoic was looking at him with something akin to-

“Don’t ya dare pity me, gramps! I don’t need that! Not from you!”

If nothing else, he didn’t bother denying it. Tachihara had already seen the glint in his eyes. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was about to start crying.

But he’d known the man for years. It wouldn’t make sense. Not for him.

The pity hurt. The fact that they didn’t see this as betraying him. They saw this as saving him. And it may have been the only way to save his life, but…

Images flashed through his mind.

A cheery young girl bragging about her latest successful torture method. One who, despite her constant joy derived from tormenting him, was always by his side. One who he viewed as a little sister.

A master of the blade whose accomplishments were only slightly less impressive than the food combinations he ate on a daily basis. A stoic pillar of support for the others.

A man who teased him, but was always the first to support him. Who could break the toughest of men and then come back and treat him just like a little brother.

The one who’d raised them. Who’d turned them into what they were.

The mafia was his family, but so were they.

And without them…

“I’m not goin’ back! You can’t make me!”

That wasn’t a threat or a challenge or anything. It was just true. Even they couldn’t manage to drag him all the way back to a top-secret military base. Not without abilities. Which they wouldn’t be able to use while Dazai was touching him.

And they all knew that the second he let go, Tachihara would be off like one of his bullets.

“That’s where you’re wrong, I’m afraid.”

That voice was one he’d only heard a few times. They’d never been particularly close. More of a distant, mutual respect for one another.

Which made sense, with the two of them being the only successful spies that infiltrated the mafia and survived.

“What? So you’re in on this too?! I guess that’s not shocking, considering your track record,” Tachihara spat.

The black-haired man stepped forward, adjusting his circular glasses.

“That’s enough. It’s time to go home.”

Agent Sakaguchi’s expression was schooled, neutral. Near unreadable, if not for Michizou’s prior knowledge of the man’s training and history.

Despite the faint regret, Tachihara knew better than to reason with him. While the Black Lizard only wanted to help him, Sakaguchi was just doing his job. There was nothing to be said that would persuade him.

“I thought this was my home.”

“The mafia isn’t a home.”

Though his words were harsh, the teenager knew that he was convincing himself more than anyone else. He may have had no loyalty to the Port Mafia anymore, but everyone with connections to his division knew that he took the same day off every year and came back smelling of whisky, curry, and flowers.

It wasn’t hard for a trained spy to connect the dots. Or even an untrained spy, if gossips were to be believed.

Tachihara understood though. He too wished things could’ve been different. But unlike Ango, he really believed he’d found his place.

Dazai threw his arms around him just as the man snapped his fingers. Though his reflexes were far beyond average thanks to the surgeries, even if his were lighter, the exhaustion of his body shutting down and being pushed passed its deadline slowed him down considerably.

He barely had time to react before he felt a sharp prick in his neck.

“Heyyyy Ango~! Do you think this stuff would kill me if I got injected with it?”

The parking lot was spinning, but the excitement in the detective’s voice was loud and clear.

“Absolutely, so don’t even try it. The Hunting Dogs are resistant to most poisons and drugs, so we need an extra strong dose. That’s enough to kill 30 men.”

“Aw, and you didn’t save any for me?”

Jeez, he didn’t have to sound so damn disappointed.

From beyond the haze of blacks and grays, Higuchi’s blonde head approached him.

Tachihara swayed a bit on his feet, allowing the deceptively-strong twig of a man still clinging to him to support his weight fully.

“Nee-san…”

He felt like he was speaking underwater. His limbs felt like jelly.

He’d had surgery over 70 times. He’d been under anesthesia a lot. But this was different. This felt like the world itself was fighting against him, trying to drag him down to hell with the rest of his missing unit.

“Shhh, I’m here. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

He closed his eyes, nodding slowly as cold hands came to rest upon his cheeks. “You’re not alone. We’re all here with you.”

He was faintly aware of the heavy hand on his shoulder. The stench of cigarettes easily overwhelmed him.

Gross.

“Hey…you should really…take better care of your lungs. You’re already…practically…a fossil.”

He yawned. He was so, so tired all of a sudden.

The old man in question gave him a sad chuckle before patting his head affectionately.

Tachihara may have been a mafioso, but he never was a fan of Gramps smoking. If nothing else, the lecture Jouno would give him when he came back to the base smelling of nicotine was bad enough.

Still, he allowed them to wrap around him.

He couldn’t quite remember why they were so worried, but he knew they were upset.

“Why…ya sound so…sad?”

“Shut up,” Akutagawa’s voice echoed over the ringing in his ears.

Tachihara Michizou was never one to refuse a direct order.

Except…

Ah, it was all too hazy.

“Think ‘m…gonna sleep…now…”

Words continued to be said, but he didn’t process any of them. Even Gin’s soft voice, whispering in his ear.

“I…ve…ou.”

—

Hirtosu didn’t know how long he’d been standing there.

His cigarette tasted bitter in his mouth. The sounds of the engines and Higuchi’s wails had all but faded now.

“It’s a shame.”

He had nothing to say beyond that. It wasn’t that he didn’t care. Far from it. It was just that despite his enjoyment of reminiscing, he didn’t want to think about this any more than he had already.

Perhaps once he, Chuuya, and Kajii were all a few beers deep.

The elderly mafioso took another drag of his cigarette.

“I wonder if I’ve made a mistake.”

It wasn’t a question he wanted to reflect on particularly. But his audience wouldn’t show itself until he invited conversation.

“You already know where I stand.”

The executive didn’t bother emerging from the shadows. He didn’t have to. The fact that he’d left his office was tell enough that he was invested.

“…I couldn’t let him die.”

“That doesn’t mean you let him live.”

“I know.”

Another breath. Another cloud of smoke.

“This isn’t over. Things won’t end like this.”

Hirtosu didn’t respond for a moment. Then, with a small smile, he spoke.

“You sound like you’re agreeing to help.”

“No. I’m not. However…I’ll see what information I can find. I have resources.”

As one should expect of perhaps the greatest assassin of all time.

“Why? I’d half expected you to wipe your hands of this.”

“I did too. Those soldiers…they may not be like my brother and I. But we’re the same in some ways.”

The man in the shadows smiled softly.

“Someone once saved me, despite how I betrayed him. He’s the reason I’m still here, though he is not. So, I’ll find what information I can.”

The man turned to leave.

“Perhaps one day, I can make up for everything I’ve done. Right, Arthur?”

[arc-misadventures]

While on a patrol with Jessica (green lantern), Diana (wonder woman) and Karen Starr (power girl), Jaune is asked by Diana what FMK (or SMB) means

Jaune: MFK VII

Whilst on patrol about the city of, Vale, a quartet of Hunter’s a really, really bored. So in the hope to alleviate their collective boredom one among them decides to ask a rather leading question.

~~~

Diana: Bored…

Jaune: So bored…

Kara: He board, she board, they all board.

Jessica: All aboard…

Jaune: I was gonna say that!

DJK: Hehehe!

Kara: But, seriously this is so boring!

Diana: I know! I kinda want to have a, Grimm attack me just to elevate this boredom…

Jessica: I haven’t seen a single, Grimm all day.

Jaune: Consider that a good thing, means there’s no, Grimm around, and people are less likely going to be attacked by them.

Kara: But, it’s so boring!

Diana: The best battle there is, is the battle you do not need to fight.

Jaune: Agreed. People will be at ease if we told them there are no, Grimm around, then that there are, Grimm about.

Jessica: Well can we at least find something to do! We’ve been walking around this forest for hours! I’m sooo bored!

Jaune: Well, maybe one of you can think of something to do then.

Kara: Okay… Oh, here’s an idea! Hey, Jaune~?

Jaune: I just felt a chill…

Kara: Oh don’t be so paranoid, Jaune. I just want to know something.

Jaune: That being?

Kara: Between the three of us; Me, Jessica, and Diana, who would you, MFK?

Jaune: What?! I’m not answering that!

Kara: Oh yes you are~!

Jaune: No I’m not! W-Why do you want me to answer that?

Kara: I’m curious; I mean you’re quite a handsome guy…

Jaune: You think I’m handsome?

Kara: And, we’re a duo of smoking hot babes, and one absolutely adorable little girl…

Jessica: Hey!

Kara: One can’t help, but wonder if you could, MFK one of us who would be what, and why?

Jaune: Do you guy’s serious want to know that?

Diana: I have to admit, I’ve always been a little curious on who you would date among the three of us.

Jaune: Seriously?

Diana: Seriously. I’ve heard plenty of couples have been made between team members. So that being said, who would you like to date among the three of us?

Jaune: What? That’s … I…?! Jessica! Please tell me you’re not thinking the same thing as well.

Jessica: W-Well… I-I’m a little curious myself really…

Jaune: Oh… Well, I’m not going to tell you anything!

Diana: Oh really~?

Diana pulls out her her golden lasso, The Lasso of Truth before snapping it between her hands as she smiled smugly at him.

Jaune: …

Jaune: You have serious trust issues…

Diana: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Jaune: She’s used that lasso on some cheating ex hasn’t she?

Kara: I’ve seen her do it. Man that was something… That lady was…

Jaune: Crazy?

Kara: I would say, psychotic.

Jaune: Yeash… Okay fine I’ll do it… But, I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you, Kara.

Kara: What?! Why are you going to kill me, a smoking hot blonde babe?!

Jessica: You said that with such ease. Do you hate, Karen, or something?

Diana: Are you gonna tell us why, or do I have to hogtie you?

Jaune: Don’t even think about it princess. Here, take a look at this.

Jaune pulled out his scroll before handing it over to, Kara who’s eyes shot out wide in shock, before showing the others.

Jessica: Is this your family?

Jaune: Yep.

Diana: You have seven sisters?

Jaune: Technically eight, one of them is married so, eight sisters.

Kara: And, I look like seven of them?

Jaune: Yeah, pretty much.

Kara: Yeah, I can see why you would, ‘kill’ me. But, Jaune think of all the fun we could have if you didn’t~!

Jaune: If I had a bucket of ice water I’d douce you in it.

Kara: Spoil sport.

Jaune: Okay, I would then fuck you, Diana.

Diana: Oh really?

Jaune: The growing sexual tension between us is eventually going to boil over, and we’re just gonna go at it one day.

Diana: Bet it will be fun if it does~!

Kara: Sexual tension; What sexual tension?

Jaune: Oh we’ve been butting heads ever since we were partnered together, it’s only gotten worse since I was made team leader, and she wasn’t. Because she’s always trying to be the leader, when she isn’t. And, she wouldn’t do a good job at that.

Diana: Like you are a good leader; You can barely stand in a fight against me, how do you think you do against an actual, Grimm?

Jaune: Okay, you’re a superhuman, with super strength, invulnerability, and you can fly, these are things that, Kara also has. And, Jessica also has her magical green ring thingy that makes it so she can also fly, and make what ever she wants. And, I’m just a guy with a sword, and shield. And, I’m the leader of this band of misfits, says a lot about why I was made team leader.

Diana: Such as?

Jaune: That they wanted brain not brawn to lead the team you muscle head.

Diana: Another word out of you, and I’ll put you in your place…!

Kara: Ya, on top of, Diana!

JDJ: WHAT?!

Diana: Are you saying I’m a bottom?!

KJ: Yes.

Diana: That’s bullshit! I am totally a bottom!

JKJ: …

Diana: D-Did I say, ‘bottom?’

Jessica: Yes…

Diana: Well that’s not true, what I meant to say is that I would totally bottom for, Jaune!

Diana: …

Diana: I did not mean to say that! I’d meant to say, I’d bottom for, Jaune! Zeus ass?! Why did I say that?!

Jessica: Uhh… Diana… y-you’re holding the lasso in your hand.

Diana looked down, and saw the glowing golden light of the, ‘Lasso of Truth’ indicating that she was indeed, telling the truth.

Diana: …

Diana: Hera give me strength…

Kara: Does this happen often?

Diana: It happens…

Jaune: So… are we going to talk about this, or…?

Diana: No, no we will not.

Jaune: Okay then. So, after a great deal of deliberation, I shall marry, Jessica.

Jessica: YES!

Jaune: Yes, what?

Jessica: Yes, I will marry you!

Kara: Uhh… Jessy… You’re not actually getting married, you know that right?

Jessica: W-We’re not…?

Kara: No, no you’re not.

Jessica: Nawww man… But, I wanna marry the sexy blonde adonis…

Jaune: …

Jaune: Okay, this has been a fascinating endeavour that I shall immediately start mentally repressing, let’s move on!

Diana: Yes, let’s move on!

Jessica: Yes, lets!

Kara: But, Jaune, if I didn’t remind you of your sisters, would you do me!

Jaune: Oh, I’d totally bang you against a tree right now if they weren’t here.

Jessica: WHAT?!

Kara: Oh, really~?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Diana…

Diana: Yes~?

Jaune: You ever wrap your lasso around me again, I’ll show you what I learned in the boy scouts. Okay?

Diana: Noted.

Jaune: Okay, lets go. There’s, Grimm to kill, and if I can’t find one, I’ll kill, Kara first.

Kara: Excuse me, what?!

[joe-spookyy]

saw traps in order and whether or not i would survive them

saw iii

classroom trap - jesus fuck. i think i might just die here. like. i probably Could. but i don’t know if i would even have the willpower? like i feel like i would rather just explode. survivability 2/10.

angel trap - yeah i’m getting out of here. i’m no bitch, and i would dunk my hand in that jar real quick and speedy like, and then get right to work on the lock. i could hype myself up real quick, and honestly, i feel confident that i could shake off the acid and not even cause that much damage to my hand. survivability 9/10.

shotgun collar - i am not a doctor. so this is a little iffy. but i honestly feel like i might actually be able to pull this off without getting shot by that thing. i will manually make his heart beat beat. i’ll give that nasty old man mouth to mouth for as long as i have to, and then i’ll brush my teeth for seventeen minutes straight to get the taste out. i also think i could do a good enough diy lobotomy that the pressure on his brain would let up at least a little. i think with that he would survive long enough for jeff to get through his traps, but if that’s looking iffy, i have a backup plan. i’m seducing amanda and i’m going to get her to let me out of the collar. we’re most certainly getting yuriful in there just for fun no matter what, so i might as well weaponize it. backup plan three i also think i could take the collar off without detonating it. cant be that hard. i have a small head. also, i’m not letting amanda shoot me at the end because again, she would be in love with me by now. all things considered, survivability 8/10.

jeff’s box - yeah i’m breaking out of here no problemo. does this even count as a trap? i don’t really care. survivability 10/10.

the freezer room - i’m wiggling out of those chains even if i have to dislocate my wrists. but also i think i would be able to convince jeff to let me out a lot quicker. i’m pretty tolerant to the cold, and also my beautiful nude body would be so attractive to jeff that he would forgive me for not stopping his son from dying and set me free. survivability 8/10. as jeff, there’s no real threat to me here. i’m saving her and getting out just fine. survivability 10/10.

the pig vat - WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!!! OH MY GOD. this shit is fucking foul. i just heated up my grilled cheese and this is what you show me. i mean obviously jeff chose kindness and let him out eventually but jesus. i’d probably kill myself afterwards out of disgust. survivability 7/10 (considering the suicide probability) but i would never eat meat again. as jeff i’m letting him out way quicker, having a little bit of a hard time putting my hand in the goop, but ultimately escaping with both of our lives. survivability 10/10.

the rack - OW! OW! OW! jesus FUCK! they are not playing with these nasty ass traps! i would not survive this. what the fuck. my head and limbs are so getting ripped off. fuck my stupid life. 0/10 survivability. as jeff i’m fine. lickety spit i’m pulling the key off with my head far out of the way. 9/10 survivability (just in case i somehow fumble and get shot.)

eric matthews bathroom trap - yeah he seemed to have an easy enough time of it and i’m way smarter than him. it was clearly way easier than the initial bathroom trap. and i wouldn’t beat up amanda or be a cunt about all of it because i’m niceys, so therefore she wouldn’t kick my stump leg and leave me to die. 8/10 survivability.

jeff’s final test: i’m nice so i would not kill him and thus would not be trapped to die. i would leave and call the police so they would arrest him. i’m not stupid. survivability 10/10.

overall film survivability considering 9 traps (but 12 individual people’s chances when put through said traps) 7.5/10. nasty ass movie and nasty ass traps but i’m built different.

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

I've finally managed to start reading Purple Haze Feedback recently and was hit with a flashback of how shitty Fugo was seen by some people in the fandom(at least people I was around at the time).

Like- yeah, it was kinda disappointing when he left the other instead of also going to go betray the boss, but shit I wouldn't wanna go either! He was still young and had a lot to live, i don't blame him for not wanting to go on a suicide mission!

Also, going in a more fanfic/yandere centered idea here, I always thought it would've been a lot funnier if more authors wrote the Reader also deciding not to join the gang to go defeat the boss instead of just following along

Bruno: We're going to betray the boos, so as soon as you enter this boat, you will be considered a traitor! I won't pressure or force any of you to do it, so enter at your own discretion!

Reader: Wow... that's a very difficult decision ...well, good luck to all of you!

Bruno: Yes ,thank- wait, you're not coming?

Reader, the moment they heard "betray the boss" leave Bruno's mouth:

*

Another idea that always comes to mind when talking about Fugo is the fact that at first, he was going to be a spy amd would betray the gang (If i remember it correctly).

I always thought it would be an interesting concept to have Reader working for Diavolo since the beginning (bonus points for angst if the gang ends up finding THAT out in the worst moment possible lol)

Reader, messaging Diavolo every few minutes to update him on the gang's behavior:

(Narancia probably just got stabbed by Fugo for the third time this week)

Note to self : be careful to not burn myself out on answering asks next time. Took the week off, just because I was that stuck. It’s good advice in general for anyone else that has a blog here 👍

It’s a rather tall order to ask some sixteen year old teenager to casually betray the whole mafia and specifically the most powerful man on top who they have never met before. I’d like to think Fugo was thinking over every unknown they weren’t guaranteed to find out. Let alone if they even had a chance to even fight at all. I never personally blamed the dude for peacing out personally.

So being Yandere I could absolutely see him do just about everything to get you to hesitate to go with Bruno and the others. He’d bend over backwards to do so, especially if you were hesitant yourself. Like sure there’s a chance you and the others by some miracle could defeat the boss, but depending on how he utilizes his organization and stand users against you, it would get ugly real quick. He even insists it’s just not worth getting hurt/killed over.

It’s likely his selfish desire to keep you to himself talking but he won’t back down in trying to keep you there with him. I always felt like Fugo could make a very compelling argument too, it’s almost scary how convincing he’d likely be. (That’s if you were unsure which way to go, if you didn’t want to go with Bruno and the others I’m certain it’d be much easier for him to take advantage of)

Spy! Reader with a Yandere Diavolo would be fantastic, almost scary in a horror sense. As you can easily doom the gang with your extra intel and knowledge with hanging out with all of them. Not to mention any calls or eventually bumping into Doppio would lead to some very interesting interactions. I can already hear the “dearest y/n” at some point once you succeed on sabotaging the Bucciarati gang.

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Do u believe in or have any ideas about the whole Overlord Niffty theory?

Actually yeah! For my Niffty I’m going for that route!🐛

HUGE Spoiler alert!!!! Hazbin Hotel @the-burd-lord made these concept designs for me as a gift, I treasure them greatly💖 Their designs inspired from Centichoro from One Punch Man. The other character in the drawings is my take on Alastor!🦌📻

With the reveal of Husk being once an Overlord I like to believe the same with Niffty but rather than gained her power from souls(talked about this with @a-sterling-rose, she was an immensely powerful sinner like Alastor, but alas her form was far too big and scary for people to want to get close to and she was all alone…until Alastor came along and offered her a deal he’d provide a more approachable form in return for her eternal service).

One idea. I imagine she was once a regular sinner like everyone else but was still a centipede like demon so it wasn’t easy to gain peoples trust due to her scary appearance. But one day some overlord or jsut really strong demon or hellborn tried to attack her and in defense or just acting on first instinct…ate into them and ended up becoming stronger and scarier looking in the process, driving even more people to see her as a threat and try to attack only to well…think the Hungry Catepillar but more gruesome and scary.

I can imagine she used to live in the outskirts of the pentagram or underground somewhere as Centipedes can burrow. Occasionally some try to get close to gain power or try to kill her but failed. She was very lonely💔💔💔 Warning scary images.

A lot of her looks meant to be hiding what she is. Disguising her extra limbs as hair, her body’s color scheme based on a centipedes, poofy dress that could cover extra, even the bug design could be Interpreted as a long centipede. I was also going for a subtle sharp, mini legs for her apron ruffles, giving off her trying to look sweet and soft but could also be interpreted in another way…

I read and learned from a @lovesart23 redesign vid for her that, she was meant to be based on B-Alien Movies. LOVE that and I tried it myself(hardest part was figuring out what bug to make her and what themes to go with) but I ended up going for another Sci-Fi route. Kaiju/Giant Bug monsters. Creatures like Godzilla or those giant bugs creatures like “the Tingler” 1959(which was a centipede monster I read). I figure it’d connect well to both her struggles of fitting in but also her Japanese Roots.

Monsters are tragic beings. They are born too tall, too strong, too heavy. They are not evil by choice. That is their tragedy. They do not attack people because they want to, but because of their size and strength, mankind has no other choice but to defend himself. After several stories such as this, people end up having a kind of affection for the monsters. They end up caring about them."

— Ishir⁠ō Honda The Director of Godzilla

Plus some certain Kaijus could qualify as Aliens!.

There’s even a Yokai/demon based on the centipede known as the Ōkumade! I imagine Niffty’s true form is basically a giant monstrous looking centipede.

What do u think? Any ideas you have for overlord Niffty? I’d love to know💖

[lovetogether]

We’re gonna write a Dale “fan” “fic” . Be nice

The door inside the wall inside the door inside the wall inside the door inside the wall inside the door inside the. Hang on just a minute, I’m starting to think there’s more to this. An endless array of disappearances only for reappearance completely anew? It’s abnormal. I walk away from time with the stature of a man on his way to kill himself, I had the enthusiasm of a child. One of those, the kids you see in the park, yeah. About to set off on some imaginary adventure built upon false ideas of a world larger than oneself. I think I was scared, but I didn’t feel scared. I had to leave. The reality which I was faced in was not one I knew to be true but moreso aside my actual reality, I felt I needed to shift almost, to get back to what was my true life. I think I’ve always been hungry. There’s something terrible happening and I’ve known it’s been happening and I knew it would happen and I am doing nothing. I have to do something. I think existing as I am now is a disgrace to living itself but I’m happy to be alive. Things follow me and I know they’re following me and I knew they’d follow me and I’m doing everything. I think it’s two, four, five years since I last was, yet here I am. I’m on a course for direct collision, with what I don’t know, but I’ve always known since I was born. Something calls to me and I don’t know what it says but I know it tells me to keep going. I think I am perpetually on the brink of a life changing revelation. I’m very important. The world revolves around me. It always has, everything has always been this way. I don’t exist outside of others sight or acknowledgement. Touched or having been touched - I think of myself as violated yet comparable to packaging which is to say I am to be violated if you want what’s inside. I see in the corner of my eye an evil which is at the core of every organic thing and I must in my power work as hard as possible to snuff out this evil but I fear this evil is from within me. The world revolves around me, so everything started with me. I knew the minute things changed because I felt it and everybody can’t shake the feeling, “how do we go back?”. Like a portal of I were to walk into a door I’d see a hallways and at the end would be a man exiting the door on the opposite side. That man is me, as to look into the hallway I must exit the last room. I see myself in front of me like some twisted up idea of dissociation. I can call this me a clone but it is - for all intents and purposes - me. It’s always been me, it’s always been us. The idea of me is a collective of others, versions of me, or rather not me, existing in relation to me to make me. I am only one, but there’s more. He’s been missing for a long time - me - an idea of me - the lack-thereof, you name it, your words not mine. But I think they’re mine. I’m selfish but isnt selfishness just an anagram for selflessness? There’s no H nor I, me, myself, I don’t know. I often feel detached from the people around me because I cannot exist in context to others without some kind of plot. There is no casualness to my presence. Put the pieces together and you get me and me is just an idea which exists to fail. I only exist in context to her.

[gallifrey1sburning]

Musings on Another Life

“What’s up, spaceman?” Donna asked, setting a cup of tea in front of the Doctor where he sat at the wrought iron table in his back garden. He blinked, noticing for the first time that the sun was setting. It was odd that time could get away from him like that, now. An adjustment. So much of it was an adjustment, living like this. He’d thought that living linearly would make time feel so much more present, but it was the opposite, somehow. It ebbed and flowed and slipped away, like water.

“Oh, nothing,” he said, the answer still a reflex, before shaking his head. “No, sorry. Not nothing. A lot of things. I’ve been thinking about… a lot of things.”

Donna settled into the seat across from him, tapping her nails against the mug she’d kept for herself. “Care to share with the class?”

The Doctor took a slow sip of his tea—milky and sweet, just like he’d taken it the first time he’d worn a version of this face. He wondered if it was how the Other Him still took it. He swallowed. “I’ve been thinking about the Metacrisis,” he admitted.

“What about it?”

“Him,” the Doctor corrected. “The person. The Other Doctor. Well, the first Other-Doctor.”

“The part-human, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Right.” She studied him. “What about him, then?”

“I’ve always thought of him as a copy,” the Doctor admitted. “I told Rose that he was me, but… I don’t know that I really believed that. I thought of him as lesser. A facsimile of sorts. Oh, close enough for them to be happy together, sure, but not really me. But I…” he sighed and leaned back in his chair, setting his tea down. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I think I got it backward.”

Donna tilted her head to the side. “How d’you mean?”

“I think he was the real me, and I was what was left over.”

“Sorry, what?”

The Doctor met her puzzled gaze. “I don’t think it was a copy. I think it was a split.” When Donna just raised her eyebrows at him, he went on, “I mean, think about it. I was regenerating, but I didn’t want to, so I sent the energy into my old hand so that I could be what Rose wanted. And then I… I walked away into battle, and rather than being better now that she was back, I was worse. I was judgmental and cruel to my friends, and then to the Metacrisis, when all of you were doing the right thing. You were all doing what had to be done to save the multiverse, and I judged you for it. And then I… I just left them there. I abandoned Rose, the love of my lives, who I would have done anything to get back before then, whom I’d nearly killed myself over the loss of more than once, like what she wanted didn’t matter at all. I didn’t tell her I loved her, when it was all I’d thought of saying for years after I lost her. And then I became a monster. The Time Lord Victorious.”

Donna made a sound of protest, but he interrupted her. “No, I did. When I sacrificed myself to save your granddad? I’m sure he never said, even once we had you back and it was safe for you to remember, but I yelled at him. Called him a stupid old man who’d lived his life; told him, more or less, that my life was more important than his. That I was worth more than he was. Not in those exact words, but…” He shook his head. “And then I regenerated and I forgot. All of you, all of it. I went on like none of you had ever mattered. Barely thought of you. Never spoke of you. I was cold, disconnected. More alien than I’d been in centuries. I lost all of the lessons I’d learned in those past few bodies. Oh, sure, I came to love my new friends. Even River, in the end. But it was never the same. I was never the same. I think…” He wrapped his hands around his still-warm mug, letting the heat dispel the chill of the advancing evening. “I think that the parts of me that Rose healed went with her. I think that instead of staying the man she wanted, I became the man she wanted, and I saved the universe with you and then I told her I loved her and I gave her my forever. And I think that the person who stayed in this universe was what was left.”

“Oh, Doctor.” The Doctor felt Donna’s hand settle on his forearm. He blinked his eyes open. He couldn’t recall shutting them. The sky was darker now, and he could see stars shimmering into view in his peripheral vision. Donna’s eyes were damp in the reflected light shining through the sliding glass doors. He freed one hand from his mug and rested it over hers.

“It’s okay. It’s… I oddly feel more at peace with that than with the alternative. Is that weird?”

“Not really, I suppose. I mean, you wanted to give her everything, and you wanted to be with her more than anything. I can see how there would be peace in thinking that maybe you did, and you are.”

“But you don’t think it’s true?”

“I dunno. I wasn’t exactly there for the aftermath, was I? But I just saw you split in two in front of me not so long ago, and the next you clearly left a lot of his baggage behind—”

“Oi!”

“—so it wouldn’t be the strangest thing you’ve done even in the time I’ve known you, and it wouldn’t be terribly unbelievable, all things considered,” she finished, ignoring his protest.

He gave an aggrieved sigh. “I suppose that’s fair.”

“Do you think it’s true?”

The Doctor drummed his fingers against the back of her hand. “I don’t know, either. Considering that nothing I knew about myself or Gallifreyans or regeneration turned out to be true, it’s hard to say. It feels true. But it also feels like maybe I’ve finally grown it all back, in a way. Like maybe… maybe, after all those centuries, I’m finally me again.”

Donna smiled at him softly. “I think that’s all that matters then, don’t you?”

“Maybe so,” he agreed, smiling slightly back at her and squeezing her fingers. “Maybe so.”

On AO3

[your-alien-friend]

I don’t like that they killed Izzy, but I don’t think they did it for the wrong reasons like many others have said. But I also don’t blame them for feeling that way. Sure, the show is full of old, queer, kinky, disabled characters. But Izzy is the only one we get to see reckon with that in real time (besides maybe jim but that is done really quickly with minimal discomfort).

I’d argue he’s among the most important queer rep in the show because he does struggle with those things. Ofmd created a wonderful world where aside from little peaks of the outsiders views here and there, everyone is accepted. I love that and would not have the show any other way. It was so important for me to see people like me be treated as just… normal. But there does create a kind of dissonance with relating to those characters because we don’t live in that world.

That’s where I felt Izzys presence allowed them to excel in that respect. He let them paint a complete picture. Ed and stede remind me of my early teens, the discovery of an attraction that feels right in a way nothing else ever did, the sweetness of that first true love (along with the ups and downs of homoerotic friendships lmao). They’re the experience you have with another person. The crew of the revenge remind me of getting older and finding community, the safety and camaraderie and relief you get with that. They’re the experience you have with a community. But Izzy, he reminds me of myself through all these stages. He is all the self hatred, the misplaced aggression, the isolation. And then he gets to be the beauty, and acceptance, and levity that comes with truthfulness to who you are. He is the experience you have with yourself.

And that’s exactly why his death is so devastating. He was such a heavy lifter.

I think there’s also something to be said about Con O’Neil opening up about being a queer man himself and experiencing some of Izzy’s journey with him through the show, and perceiving him loosing that as well.

So yeah I think it’s a big loss that outweighs the narrative benefits. And I think we all have a right to mourn that. But I don’t think it’s fair to throw around all these baseless accusations at the creators. While there’s more nuance to why loosing Iz is such a big deal, this is undeniably not because of writers being against who he was. It’s the classic archetype for his character type, you sin, you make amends, you die. I do think maybe more input from queer writers could have prevented him not being fully appreciated outside of his ‘literary’ function, but that’s speculation.

I’m sad and angry too. But I’d rather focus on what we were given with Izzy and all the work Con O’Neil put in to fully flesh that out. Their story really is a monument to how community and fiction can change lives, and just how closely the two are intertwined.

And I’m grateful for what Izzy got to be. He could have easily been thrown away as the bad guy but instead he got to be so so much more. I’m glad we got to see that, even if his end wasn’t befitting of his journey.

Anyway rip Izzy Hands you were a real one and I’ll love you forever. Everyone else stop bullying David Jenkins I’m in your walls.

[seaside-writings]

Hello, again all you wonderfully, wicked people!

As we know black cats are an essential part of the spooky season as well as an essential part of everyday life! So in honor of that, I made a prompt list dedicated to one of my favorite black cats Salem Saberhagen, who in my opinion had some of the most iconic dialogue in TV history!

I hope you all like this prompt list, and I hope it helps you create! And if you do use it, please credit/tag me so I can check out what you've made!

I hope you all stay blessed and safe throughout your day.

Lots of Love & Wishes: Celia 🖤🎃🕸🔮

P.s. I did change some of the dialogue so it would flow easier when it came to writing for different types of characters.

“You’re the only one who understands me,” “Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I care,” - “What are you doing?” “Nothing!” “You’re in a chatroom again pretending to be a woman, aren’t you?” “I like the attention.” - “I have lighted the fuse. Now I just have to wait for the kapowie! Muahahaha!” - “I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you; I just wanted to rule you,” - “You’ll be able to look back on all of this and get revenge,” - “Show me the tuna!” - "I never cared for the name Mildred," - “And let’s give a big warm welcome to sadness,” - “Someone’s gonna end up crying. Probably me,” - “Finally, someone whose life is more pathetic than mine!” - “You don't have to order me a pizza, but make it half sausage, half clam,” - “I need a little fresh air and a latte,”

“As long as you drop everything and stay focused on me, I should be fine,” - “Dogs guard. Cats watch and judge,” - “When I’m happy, I eat! When I’m upset, I eat!” - “Hooray, the toast is stuck! Danger, here I come!” - “They left behind. Be strong. Don’t cry,” - “Still want to take over the world?" - "Cheetos should be served at room temperature, you know,” - “Curse my sarcastic nature!” - “If you misbehave for just one instant, I’ll cut you, man,” - “Dear lord, you picked up a guy at the bus station,” - “It's the 90s, no one eats mortals anymore,” - “I’m rich! Rich, I tell you!” It’s only a few hundred dollars,” “I’m well-off! Well-off, I tell you!” - “Let's destroy everything that's dear to him. Let's indoctrinate him into the cathedral of agony,” “I'm going to write him a very stern letter,” “You're a regular Mad Max, aren't you?” - “A tassel! Don’t you toy with me, you saucy minx!” - “Wow, you must feel like a huge loser,” - “Would you be terribly upset if I threw up in one of your shoes?” - “You laugh, you die,” - “I will not be ignored!” - “All I’ve done all day is eat, sleep, and stare off into space. What an awful existence,” “Hey! I don’t dump on your lifestyle," - “Could you either remove the bandages or kill me?” - “Sorry, thirty waffles is my limit,” - “You think a mirrored ceiling would be too much?” - “Why didn’t you stop them!?” “I was busy,” “Doing what!?” “Playing with my scrunchie,” - “We need a plan,” “How about we weep uncontrollably,” - “I urge you to accept me as your ruler!” - “I’ll be having a quiet weekend, curled up with Memoirs Of A Geisha,” - “Delivery. I want a pizza as fast as possible! And don’t forget the crazy bread!” - “And your face is a bit of a trainwreck too,” - “Tell Elton John he can’t start singing now,” - “I wasn’t always the stud muffin I am today,”

“You owe her an apology. Now! “I’m thinking of how to word it,” “Try 'I’m sorry,'” “Somehow, that just doesn’t feel right…” - “I’d rather be locked in the dishwasher again,” - “Does she know who you are?” “Why does everyone think that’s a necessary part of love,” - “I’m the ultimate bad example,” - “Don’t ask me, I was an English major,” - “Hey, leave the sarcasm to the professionals,” - “Get a real job. And some pants,” - “I’m a cat, I’m curious, so kill me,” - “Still want to take over the world?” “Yes! Wait, no! I meant no!” - “I’d be more nervous if I weren’t so good-looking,” - “Hey chicks, what’s the haps?” - “I’m trying to set the world record for grooving,” - “Sometimes I just like to hear myself talk,” - “You know me any excuse to wear taffeta,” - “Oh, right, I forgot. I’m an animal, I have no self-control,” - “Why am I finding it hard to summon sympathy?” - “Wow, I love a woman who can take charge!” - “I’ll be downstairs creating a distraction,” - “I’m trying to concentrate on expanding my intellectual horizons,” - “Wake up, woman! You’re not a princess, you’re a dragon!” - “Her new obsession is doing wonders for my wardrobe!” - “Please hurry! I’ve been in here for over an hour!” “Why didn’t you call us sooner?” “It wasn’t a problem until I ran out of peanut brittle!” - “So it's true. Taste does skip a generation,” - “I want to say something wise and wonderful right now, but I can't think of anything. Except I love you, and I hope the band knows some Ohio Player,” - “BOO!” “You look ridiculous,” “You were terrified, and you know it,” - “Halloween. Is it just another date on the calendar, or is a state of mind, or is a state of… being?”

[minato-division03]

ARB Birthday Special: Reiaki Suzubayashi

~ June 14th ~

“Rock bottom will teach you lessons that mountain tops never will.”

Login Lines

“YAAAAAAAAHOO! Hell yeah, it’s my birthday yet again! I’m a whole ‘nother year older and I’m still somehow not dead yet! BOO YEAH!”

“Sometimes a day to kick back and chill is nice… but gotta admit! A day to be productive and get a whole lot of work done is the way to go! Now that’s a real self-pamper on my own birthday!”

Voice Lines

“Okay! So I think for the day, it looks like I’ve gotta head out to one of the luxury resorts out here! I, uh… I needa double check which hotel it is, my squirrel brain just doesn’t remember, ha! Her Majesty’s filming today so I gotta get her all dressed up for TV! Today’s a good day to be celebrating with other employees, some of my favorite people in the city! I had a video edited and all ready to go on this epic day, so it’s gonna be an ultra productive day today!”

“I just loved, loved, loved reading through all my fans’ sweetest birthday messages! It felt like I was just being showered with nonstop love! I did receive some early presents in my P.O. Box, and I don’t think that’s gonna be the end of it… oh well! I’ll never say ‘no’ to presents! Lots of fan letters, little spoopy plushies, and lots more!”

“Gah!! Holy shit, Your Majesty, you scared the dark soul outta me! I know! Can you believe it?! Pffft! The hell’re you talking about, Your Majesty? You on something? Fuck, nothing gets past you, huh? What does it matter, anyway… you probably can read what’s on my mind anyway… hah! I… it happened again. Truthfully… I received a letter from… him yesterday… Reminds me to wonder what the hell whatever afterlife entity is out there must be thinking— since they let me of all people live… like, why me? What’s even worse… I feel like I’m going to kill someone very important to me one of these days… Because I can’t control myself…! Hah! I’m pathetic, aren’t I… Sorry, I didn’t wanna dump all this on you… But I guess I do feel a bit better yapping on and on like that! Sniff!”

“‘Hold out my hands,’ you say… I don’t know if I trust you all that much when you’re like this… ugh, okay fine, I’m closing my eyes… The hell is this? A frame with a clown hand…is this Pennywise from the movie ‘It’? You made this?! Ohhhh my god, how do you find the time to make stuff like this all the time? I mean, I guess… Hehe… I think my roommates love it already…! And I definitely think it’s cute, too! Thank you, Your Majesty… Man, I wouldn’t trade being with you and Miku for anything in the world…”

“Oh, Miku-chan! It… it’s nothing! Sniff! Anyway, did you need something? Awwww, thanks! You got me something, too? Ooooo lemme see lemme see!”

“Oh, that’s cute! It 100% fits in with my room! I’ll bring these into my room and then we can all set out for today’s activities! Dang, you’re not usually this expressive! Thanks a bunch Miku-chan, you really made my day! Thank you… Can I hug you? Awww!!! Really, thank you so much… I don’t know what I’d do without you or Her Majesty… Thank you for still putting up with me…”

Queen Card Lines

“Dear me, is it your second birthday as an esteemed member of R.I.P Märchen already? Heavens, how time has passed. Though it would seem you are not exactly in a celebratory mood. Talk to me, my dear, what’s the matter? Reiaki-chan… That may be so… however, you will surely feel relieved to release what is on your mind. I see, tell me more. Did something happen to warrant this most recent case? So it bothers you to this extent… It would seem that before we embark on the drive to the hotel, I have matters of my own to take care of, my dear…”

“I may have the thing to lift your spirits. Hold out your hands, my dear. Tis but a simple frame crafted with my own two hands. Just the same way you craft all of your prosthesis yourself rather than going out to buy pre-made ones. Hang this up in your room along with the thousands of other ornamentations you possess. And I to you, you are a valuable asset to this team, no… all of Tokyo. Thank you for being you.”

Miku Lines:

“Hey, Reiaki… Happy birth— Your eyes are red and puffy… are you okay…? O-okay, then… just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, that’s all…”

“You’ve been collecting the candles I’ve been making for you, but they’re just… there. So here’s something you can use to hold them. And since you’re a big fan of all things cooky and grim, I think this fits your room just fine. And it’s made out of jesmonite, so it’s totally sustainable. Aish… you’re welcome… Happy Birthday… Ugh… just this one time…”

The colors that surround you… they’re tainted. Dull… grey… that vividness I see on you all the time isn’t there now. You haven’t been this tainted since…

Is it because of that person? How fucking dare he… This is the one day Reiaki should be full of life and surrounded by the most beautiful of colors… I hope he’s proud of himself for this… I’ll kill him one of these days…

[glassofspoiledmilk]

Going Gold| Yuri P.

Chapter 1 - Lilia Baranoskaya | TW: Suicide mention, language.

Ever since I was little I have always been immune to the cold. Not just because I'm a figure skater, but also because i live in St.Petersburg, Russia. It was almost never warm here in Russia.

     I sat up in my bed and ripped my covers off. I got up and walked over to my dresser. I pulled out my skating pants and a black jacket, I have very strict skating attire. I pulled up my hair up into a ponytail and slipped on a pair of black athletic shoes. I walked into my kitchen and ate some leftover pancakes from yesterday.

"good morning Y/N" My mom says as she walks into the kitchen.

"good morning" i reply, giving her a quick hug.

After finishing my pancakes, I stood up and grabbed a water bottle from my cabinet. I filled it up and set it down on my counter. I walked into my living room and grabbed my backpack, and slipped my water bottle into the pocket on the side. I grabbed the bag and yelled out  "bye mom!".

I walked out the door and started walking down the street.

I made it to the rink and walked inside. I went straight to the locker rooms and quickly put my skates on.

As I walked out of the room and onto the ice, I saw yakov with the other senior skaters, Yuri, Mila, and Georgi. I took my guards off and skated out onto the ice with the rest of the team. "Y/N you’re here, start working on your short program for this season, i hope you remembered it" yakov said.

"Yeah I remember" i said, skating to the center of the ice.

I started the program, i was only running through the choreography of it though. Upon finishing, I heard someone call my name.

"Hey princess, need more time to warm up? You looked kinda stiff out there" Yuri yelled from across the ice.

"Shut up yurio" i said as I rolled my eyes, clearly not in the mood for his attitude.

He scowled and rolled his eyes in response.

Man he is such and asshole.

Later, after many, many hours of training we finally finished.

"Good work today, all of your programs are coming along nicely" yakov said, giving us the signal to leave.

I made my way off the ice and towards the Locker rooms.

"Yuri, Y/N could I speak with you for a second" yakov said.

I quickly turned around to face him, and so did Yuri. I saw yakov standing with a woman. She looked very stern and had her hair pulled up in a tight bun.

"This is Lilia Baranoskaya, a pristine ballet instructor. I’m sure you’ve heard of her, She has generously offered to train the two of you for the upcoming season" yakov said.

Yuri and I looked at each other and back at them.

"The two of you will be staying at my house, I suggest you both go home and pack your things. Be back here no later than 9:00" Lilia said turning around and walking off.

“Wait, am i gonna have to live with him?!” I exclaim in annoyance.

“Yea I think I’d rather kill myself than live with her.” He added, giving me a look.

I scoff and look away.

“You two need to deal with it, I don’t want to hear complaints from either of you. If you want to win, you will get over it.” Yakov angrily said.

At first, I actually thought she was joking, but seeing yakov that serious made me realize that they weren’t in fact, joking.

“Yea whatever” Yuri says as he turns on his heel and walks away.

I turned around in disbelief and started walking to the locker room. I slipped my guards on over my blades and started on my way home.

I got to my house and tried to explain to my parents what was happening, they were very confused...and hesitant. “Honey..are you sure your ready to live somewhere without us? I don’t know about this..also what will you do about school? Is Lilia going to teach you?” My mom asks, concerned.

“I’m not sure, but I know I can do this. I have to think about my future, skating is what I love and this is the only way to win. Im going to be fine, Yakov and Yuri will also be there so I won’t be alone.” I say, trying to ease her worries.

It took a lot of convincing and a lot of talking, but they eventually said yes!

“Thank you! I have to meet Lilia back at the rink before 9:00” I exclaim.

I went upstairs and grabbed 3 suitcases and stuffed them to the brim with stuff like toiletries, makeup, clothes, and shoes. Not to mention all of my skating supplies. Later, my mom and dad came up and helped me.

After packing everything up my mom and dad drove me back to ice rink.

I saw yakov, lilia, and Yuri packing suitcases into a super fancy car, it almost looked like a limo. My mom and I unloaded the stuff and brought the luggage over to the car. We placed them next to Yuri's luggage and helped pack everything into the car.

"Goodbye sweetheart" my mom said as we packed the last suitcase into the car.

"Bye!" I replied giving her a hug.

I opened the door and sat down. I strapped on the seatbelt and waited. Yuri got into the car and sat down on the other side of me, and then Lilia and yakov got in. As we started driving Lilia told us about our schedules and where we would be staying. We would get up super early and go to the ballet room and dance and condition, and then we would go over to the rink and practice.

When we finally arrived at her house I started to unpacked everything. Her house was so huge, WAY bigger than my house. Lilia showed us to our rooms; my room and Yuri's room are next to each other.

Great.

I opened the door to see a beautiful white room with mirrors and paintings covering the walls. Books and plants were placed on shelves above me. I put my suitcases on the bed and started to unpack.

Yuri and I had a bathroom across the hallway from us, Lilia said we would have to share it.

Knowing his nasty ass he’ll probably destroy it within two seconds.

I went in there and placed my hair products in the shower and set up my toiletries on the counter. The counter had two sinks and one big, fancy mirror. I made sure everything was organized and neat around the sink I chose to use. Then I went back into my room and set up my stuff in the closet and in the dressers.

"Y/N, Yuri come now" Lilia yelled.

I opened the door and started walking down the stairs. I walked over to Lilia who told me and Yuri that dinner will be ready soon and we need to get showered.

Yuri and I looked at each other.

both of us had a competitive look displayed on our faces. When she finished speaking we both dashed up the stairs bumping into each other as we made our way up. We both fell into the bathroom and looked at each other. "Move idiot I have to shower" Yuri shouted.

"So do I, bitch" I replied standing up.

"There's only one way to solve this, rock paper scissors" Yuri said holding his hand out.

"Hell yea! I'm a boss at this" I said extending my hand out to meet his.

"Rock paper scissors shoot!" We both said at the same time.

I put rock, he had put scissors.

"Shit" he said.

"at least tell me when you get out dumbass" Yuri added, clearly annoyed.

“I will~” i teased.

“And don’t use all the hot water!” He replied.

“I won’t” I said, pushing him out of my way so I could get to my room.

I had every intention of using all the hot water.

I walked into my room and got a towel and pajamas and then walked back into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

I got in, washed my hair and my face, then got out. I put my clothes on and sat down on the toilet. There was a small mirror that I decided to use to do my skincare. I tied my hair up in the towel and pulled out all my skincare. After, I decided to put on a clay mask and clean out the shower. I noticed the only thing Yuri had in there was a 3-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash bottle.

I cringed at the sight of it.

I walked out of the bathroom and knocked on his door. "Finally your done-" he said abruptly stopping.

He looked up and me and looked concerned. "What the hell happened to your face" he said.

I rolled my eyes as his question.

"I want you to use my shampoo and conditioner, that three in one shit is disgusting" I replied.

"What's wrong with my stuff it works just fine" he added.

"Yeah it would work just fine if you were a toddler, you need to take better care of yourself. And you should use my skincare products..you look like you need it" I smiled sarcastically and shut the door.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" He said angrily from behind the door.

I shrugged and walked away into my room. About ten minutes later I hear him yell.

"Y/N HOW DO YOU USE THIS SHIT".

I stood up and walked into the bathroom. He was sitting on the toilet staring blankly at the products.

"What is 'facial cleanser'?" He asked picking up a container.

"Exactly what it says genius, it cleanses your face" i replied.

I picked up each bottle and briefly explained how to use them. After a minute or two he got the hang of it and started correctly using them. I decided to wash the mask off my face while I had the chance.

After he finished lilia called us down for dinner. She made Pelmeni for dinner. We sat down and started eating. It was silent most of the time, except when yakov occasionally coughed.

We finished dinner and we headed upstairs since it was pretty late. Tomorrow at 7:00 AM Yuri and I had training in her ballet studio. Then afterwards we had skating practice. I set my alarm and quickly dozed off to sleep.

A/N: this story is out on my wattpad, blandbunny if you wanna read the other parts! But the rest of them should be on my tumblr soon. Thanks for reading!