#diabetes warning

[sithbelle]

Someone left their potato in a bowl!

Just needs a bit more jpeg though...

[racing-twinks]

So I went to the doctor last week and got told I have diabetes, then spent a week in hospital to try get my blood sugar levels back to normal, only to get out of hospital and have my bloodsugar immediately go crazy again... like what do you mean I'm doing the maths just like they told me, taking the insulin in the doses I talked about with my doctor, only to end up super low or super high after eating??? It was all working fine before they let me out but as soon as I do more than laying in bed all day it isn't fine anymore??? Also having to prick my finger all the time to measure and also being super anxious when not measuring cause what if the levels go wheee again in those 3 hours im not measuring??? I know it will all be fine and that I will learn to live with it but I just can't wait until I get my sensor and being able to check my levels all the time to see when and why they go crazy so I can fix my insulin doses accordingly... thankfully my sensor is already approved and I got the message it will arrive on Friday before Easter because this situation of being fine before eating and then being too low or too high a few hours later without warning is making me so nervous and scared. Going to the doctor because I lost a bunch of kilos and was always thirsty just to get told I have developed an autoimmune disease and was close to fainting into a coma is wild. I wasn't expecting that at all and it feels like my life got turned upside down and while I am glad that it is "just" diabetes (cause I am aware it could have been something much worse) and I am accepting it and working on that, the fact it doesn't go like I'm calculating the second I left the hospital makes me so nervous about it all, feeling like I'm doing everything wrong the second im on my own

[ajmakoko]

How is it not abuse, how is it not literally torture, for a medical doctor to deny a disabled person treatment (including diagnostic tests) for their disability or condition?

Like it's not just incompetence. It's actively weaponizing my disability against me.

I get ketoacidosis/ketosis really really easily (genetic, my sister does as well). I have had doctors accuse me of alcoholism (which I literally can't have because I also have a tyramine gene that means it's like I'm on an MAOI at all times and would literally burst a blood vessel from high blood pressure) or having an eating disorder (which is probably more accurate bc celiac, which I also have, imitates a lot of issues of anorexia since it's an absorption issue along with autoimmune). I was never screened for diabetes then even though it's common to develop diabetes if you have celiac.

High ammonia in your bloodstream from keto isn't good for your kidneys. Denying me medical treatment as a punishment because they think I'm an alcoholic or anorexic (and don't want to test for anything else) is not just extremely fucked up, it's literally abuse. It's torturing me by harming my kidneys biochemically.

Doctors are cops. ACAB.

[box-of-nonexistent-meows]

My sugar levels be sinusoiding today

Wiiiiiiiiii

[annieisyourfavourite]

i switched from the pump back to syringes yesterday and my endo didn't give me any instructions or anything. and i've been high since, but i'm like 400 now and i don't know why 😭

[oimoi-op]

Apparently hot flashes during periods aren't normal and having that and other pre-menopause symptoms just so happen to be yet another perk of diabetes <3

[trinitycove]

I've really been neglecting checking my blood sugars as often as I should be and eating regular/healthy meals so I've been having a lot of high blood sugars lately when I do check. Because of this I get regular yeast infections and this one is so bad that there is a little blood. I am so tired of diabetes.

The only time I didn't deal with this stuff was when I put all of my time and effort into managing my blood sugars and it was exhausting and I had disordered eating.

I am so tired. It's 1am and my blood sugar is 29.6 mmol/L. I have class at 8:30am with no breaks until 12:30pm. How am I supposed to do this? Feeling hopeless...

[alaspoon]

omg happy 20th diabetic anniversary to me!! and the anniversary of the time I was in a coma at the hospital because my blood sugar and ketones were so high my body like. stopped functioning lol

[can-of-pringles]

THIS PUMP ALWAYS KEEPING ME ON MY TOES

[theinfinitedivides]

totally obsessed with king the land and i need to rant about it somewhere and i figured this would be a fun place because i love your takes and can i start off by saying i've haven't seen someone as down bad as gu won in a really long while. to think he realized his feelings because he took a quiz a few weeks back and look at where he is now, confessing his love on a rooftop to the woman he falls in love with more and more every second.

ep 10 was honestly one of the most fulfilling romantic escape episodes i've ever seen in a show, like the locations were stunning, the chemistry was chemistrying like crazy and god the way won looks at sarang? the way he smiles so wholeheartedly? it's like she helped him rediscover what happiness and love feels like.

one thing i really loved from the earlier eps is how won always gives in and tries new things with sarang and realizes how much he enjoys it. also, the way sarang's grandma is such an important figure to both sarang and won now makes me so happy. i love how won takes all of her advice to heart and actually works on his communication.

i also absolutely loved how this week's eps focused on them just being in love and enjoying their dating era, the quality time and the constant need to touch each other and express their affection is something so precious. can't wait to see what's in store for them in the weeks to come. 🥹

i cannot tell you how honored i am to be the recipient of this little love letter to KTL bc you!!!! you get it anon!!!! i'm going to be addressing some of your points but i should warn you that it will be all over the place so i hope that doesn't confuse you once you get around to reading this sksksksk

first off, i think Won automatically gravitates towards Sa Rang's halmeoni bc in some ways she is that mother figure for him. we still haven't been told exactly what happened to his mother btw, but considering the age gap between him and his half-sister Hwa Ran you would think that after eomma "disappeared" (using that term for now) Hwa Ran would have stepped in. their relationship is so, so f*cked up, however, that she's never actually treated him as her actual sibling (as seen by her dangling the pocketwatch his mother gave him out the window/breaking it by letting it go. he still carries it around, even after all of that.) and so there is no love lost between the two of them. she has always viewed him as a competitor, someone to be wary against in her struggle for their father's company, and even though Halmeoni acts as if he is also one (for Sa Rang's hand) the way they interact says differently. (there's so much to unpack about why that is, namely the way that Gu Il Hoon treats his children and the lessons he's instilled in them, but that's not the point rn and i don't have energy to write that essay today)

so when Hwa Ran tells him not to try anything in terms of the company bc he won't be able to do anything substantial anyway, he listens, bc that fear has been bred into him. he's learned early not to expect anything akin to affection from her, learned that the only reason he's allowed to come so close is bc she knows his weaknesses (ep 3 publicity interview/panic attack anyone?) and uses them to keep him on a leash so he doesn't get in her way and he's tired. he says as much when he tells her '나 싸우고 싶지 않았어' — 'i didn't want to fight' during their convo in the lounge in ep 8 (have some slightly unrelated commentary on that scene here, although in the more recent eps after meeting Sa Rang he has begun to buck against her incessant emotional abuse). but when Halmeoni tells him to do something, he listens, bc he knows, instinctively, that whatever she's telling him is not going to sabotage his relationship with Sa Rang. she's not out to get him, and she does not loathe his entire existence—she is treating him like the grandson she does not have, and she in turn is the mother that he has been deprived of for so long.

(frankly i think the best way to describe Hwa Ran and Won's dynamic with the influence of their father coming into play is uh. 'but business is business! / and business runs in the family' from Amanda Palmer's Runs In the Family. fair warning the video is a bit all over the place and the lyrics may be triggering but i highly recommend listening to the song if you haven't already)

building off of that, i think Sa Rang is also another outlet of love for him that is making up for what he has lacked. the way she and her circle of friends, much like her halmeoni, treat him when he is around (even after a bit of a false start in the first episodes) is in contrast to his sister as well—it's implied, albeit not explicitly, that he has the tendency to attach himself to people other than her once they show him any kind of care (standing up for Sang Sik taking him with him from the internship after Sang Sik tried to help him adjust in case he got in trouble, for instance). he trusts them even if he doesn't say it, since he does not trust her, and in some ways the kind of fear he has around Hwa Ran has been rechanneled into the need to keep his eyes on Sa Rang, bc he is afraid he might lose her. and he does not want to lose her, bc he has loved someone, for once, almost as much as he has loved his mother. and so once he realizes that that is what it is he tries to tell her as much, every chance that he gets, and we get to see that in the touches and glances and the small things that he does, an opening up to her as best he knows how. i spoke more about that here, but one of the best comparisons to their relationship that i can think of (other than Mitski's Come Into the Water and KK's Aankhon Mein Teri that i have already made a post about) is this line from Lee Hae Ri's gorgeous song Maybe that she sang for the OST of Her Private Life ('어쩌면 그게 사랑 일지도 몰라 / 반복되는 일상 / 그 속에 나를 ��듬어 준 네가 / 조용히 떨리는 심장이 말해 / 너를 보고 싶다고 말하래' — 'maybe it [this feeling] is love / you who've cared for me in my repetitive everyday life / my quietly trembling heart tells me to say that i miss you'), bc that is just Won telling Sa Rang in the pool in the gloriousness that is ep 10 that he missed seeing her face in so many words and God. God them!!!!! laying face down on the ground and sobbing they're too much for me

despite all of this i know something has to give in the upcoming episodes, though, and while i am not asking for heavy angst (no devastating messy breakup arc i am on my knees begging at this point) i do hope we get to explore more of that kind of dynamic between Sa Rang and Won and get a cathartic moment for him while we're at it. (if you're not going to send him to therapy to address his childhood trauma [possible panic attack trigger i see you in the ep 11 preview] then let the man cry ffs) looking forward to whatever they do as much as you are, anon <333

[cheese-anon-real]

hungry.

in diner.

food. please.

[grahamkennedy]

what do you think gerry was like as a kid? I don't imagine 60s ireland was kind to him

I think, the way Carla talks about it at least, and I imagine he spoke a lot to her about Ireland, that it was good and bad. I think he loved the countryside. He got along well enough with his 9 siblings, especially his sisters. His mother was strict and a little scary, his father was a little more loose and very humourous. And he got along better with his father, who had the habit of jumping up to tap street signs when they went down the main street and quoting radio plays out of context at dinner until he got dagger eyes from his wife (this is 100% projecting, this is exactly what my grandparents were like).

He knew there was something different about him from a young age and with Catholicism so all encompassing I definitely feel that would've really made him feel ill at ease, but even though he wasn't a manly man, he was precocious and theatrical enough that he got along well with the other boys and no one cottoned on to his queerness except him.

He definitely got in trouble a lot, but he didn't suffer some of the abuse other young boys received. There's a great Dylan Moran quote (know me for long enough and you'll understand I basically worship the ground that man walks on) about the fact he perhaps thought some of his classmates were getting abused, but he thought he was spared because he was just too loud and unruly and a lot of the covert violence, especially sexual violence, in Catholic Ireland was perpetrated against victims who were easier to keep quiet. I think that was definitely Gerry's experience as well.

I think he left rural Ireland for Dublin before he had the chance to finish high school, and one day he saw a flyer advertising work for cruise ship entertainers and never looked back. He does cruise work mostly, and spends his downtime in continental Europe, until he meets Carla and that is that.

[andiebomb]

Type one diabetes is a sickness that made me beautiful.

(Tw: ED, chronic illness vent)

I lost weight so fast, became pretty for once while eating anything I wanted without worry.

It was like I became a skeleton with taste buds, every calorie and fat fell out of me.

My body relaid on the stored fat that had tortured me since birth, finally getting rid of the cause of my anguish, i slept till 4pm and felt every night my life slipping out of me.

I wasn’t scared because I was beautiful and I didn’t even want to live anyway.

My body was eating itself, but I was finally pretty.

I was closer to death every passing minute but I was beautiful.

The hospital was horrible but my hands fit around my wrist.

I can finally fit in a skinny girl medium even if it takes away my breath.

I go to sleep not knowing if I will awaken but at least my reflection is better

I can eat everything just like you I swear!

But then I get “better” they give me life but in return I get the body I hate again.

The needles and alcohol swabs and smell of artificial insulin can be ignored if I look pretty again.

I am sick, I am tired of constantly monitoring a body that I don’t even like. in a life I don’t even want.

This new tube in me for life is pushing fat into me so I can live but I’d rather just eat what I want and die beautiful the next day.

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

Hi, I hope you are doing well🌹

Can you help by sharing my story, reblog, and donating if you can, to keep hope alive for me, I'm type 1 diabetes. I am calling on your humanity and kindness to help me raise $340.

This amount will enable the approval of an insulin pump that will help me better control my diabetes. Although I am happy that I have been approved the hardest part is the money to pay for the pump and equipment, please your contribution is important. Be blessed ♥️

SCAM

[tomb-the-mod]

[read tags before opening cut]

Just like Tuberculosis, diabetes is damage overtime. It's canon.

[yosh-iro]

i think i just had the fastest blood draw ever