#destiel is constantly on my mind

[jibberjibbsart]

Good luck Dean 🫡

[jenanigans1207]

My favorite post I’ve ever seen in spn tumblr was something to the effect of:

If Dean Winchester isn’t in love with Castiel, the only other possibility is that Jensen Ackles wants to fuck Misha Collins so bad that it makes Dean Winchester look stupid.

And if you’re the one who made that post please know that I legitimately think about it at least once a day. I think it’s so funny. Every single time I see a jenmish/cockles post or edit, I think of it. Every time I even see their names together or just hear in passing that they did a panel together or something. I just. I think of it all the time. Thank you for it.

[demonbloodenthusiast]

91w deancas is so delusional cause they been making heart eyes at each other since day fucking one, calling the other sweatheart, thinking of kissing the other innocently just for the sake of the other being kissed, because they deserve that softness in the midst of all the chaos around them and the minute they actually get to it (motherfucking 200 pages in mind you) they try so hard to revert it back into something purely phisical with no emotions involved AND THEY KNOW THAT IT'S MORE BUT IF THEY BOTTLE IT UP AND IGNORE IT THEN ALL THE REVERENCE OF MOST OF THEIR LOOKS AND TOUCHES WILL JUST DISAPPEAR which is the epitome of the dilusional repressed gay way of doing anything

[youchangedmedestiel]

I'm never bored anymore. You know why? Because Destiel exists, and it keeps my brain busy. All the time.

If I have to wait in line for something, I wonder: "When was the first time Cas healed Dean? What was the context? Why did he do it? How Dean reacted?"

If I'm getting bored at a party or a dinner, my brain goes "Maybe I could a fanfic where Dean pranks Cas to flirt."

If I'm in the train for hours, *type frantically on my phone's memo the rest of the fic I'm currently working on.*

If I'm at work and have to do a repetitive and boring task, *listen to a destiel podfic.*

I have never been this glad to wait in line, attending a lame party, travelling in the train for hours or working on a repetitive task before because it means I'll have time to think, write or read about them.

[superunnaturalsammy]

Man I gotta say a controversial take..

If you hate Wincest shut up about it ok.

Hear me out, I am not personally a Wincest shipper, it's really not my cup of tea. However, I'm also not a fuckin thought cop and I feel like posting over and over about how much you hate something other people like is stupid.

They aren't real people, I will repeat, SAM AND DEAN ARE NOT REAL. So the whole 'it's immoral' argument is a bit silly, people aren't saying that this is fine in real life, as far as I know Wincest shippers know it's wrong (maybe part of the appeal IDK). These shippers aren't advocating for real life incest they just like the idea of *fictional* characters together stop policing other people's minds.

Another thing, if you hate it so much why are you thinking about it constantly like if you posted about it less you'd probably get less posts recommended about it. It's amazing the way you can curate your internet experience. Simply block people who post content you don't like and block tags of things you don't like. It's so irritating to me, because I will see one overt Wincest post a day but I will see a dozen anti posts every time I open the app. Most of the time I see people bring it up they are antis. I just hate seeing people posting that they wish they could purge people who like a ship from the fandom. Who's next as well, we start with Wincest and then what, Destiel? Sastiel? Sabriel? like again y'all sound like cops.

And lastly, if you don't like Wincest you may need to just find a different fandom. Wincest is baked into the fandom, it's a ship that has existed since the beginning (it may be the oldest big ship in the fandom). There are references to it in the show, it's something that Eric Kripke and Sera Gamble wrote into the show, you can't remove it because it is part of the show. You don't have to like it or ship it or interact with it but you can't get rid of it so either suck it up or leave...

Thank you for coming to my TED talk LMAO.

TLDR: Stop complaining constantly about ships you don't like.

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

Hi. I saw this post asking for a fic that changed one's brain chemistry. Now there are a lot of fics I like; over 2000 bookmarked on ao3. And a lot of fics I love; I have 400+ of those fics tagged 'fave'. Of those 400, there are only around two dozen I would say legitimately changed me as a person. 1% changed the way I saw relationships and the world, changed the way I read and write. And I couldn't narrow it down to one - or ten - and didn't want to dump in OP's tags. So have this list of fics that permanently changed who I am as a person.

Warning: I love long fics, and some of these are the same specific tropes that I love or that really affect me personally (ex. arranged marriage). Expect angst, and especially angst with a happy ending. That said these fics are all objectively amazing.

(sorry to people who don't like long fics, but we are simply not the same. and that's OK.)

listed in order of fandom, then length.

Banshee In A Well - 43k, complete, DC, Tim Drake. Childhood trauma, childhood trauma, came back wrong/can't stop coming back! Tim is a little FREAK and I luv him.

straight on 'til morning - 102k, complete, DC, timkon/Kon-El. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly.

variations on a theme - 5k, complete, MCU, ironstrange. This is one of the fics that made me truly love ironstrange. Stephen sees through millions of possibilities and in doing so, falls in love with Tony. Evocative, beautiful, succinct.

The Art of Losing - 33k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. This fic made me cry. This fic BROKE MY HEART. And I WENT BACK TO IT. Multiple times! This is a breakup fic that breaks you down then puts you back together. You will come out different, and only you can say if it's for the worse or the better.

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) - 65k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. There are so many firstprince fics that essentially translate the events of the book into a different setting. And I love all of them. (My own fic, then fucking have me, also does this, self plug self plug self plug). I had to narrow this selection down to just one, and this is probably my absolute favorite.

You Don't Have To (Say Yes) - 192k, complete, Star Trek, spirk/Jim Kirk. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, again).

THE MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS - 262k, complete, Star Trek, spirk. Star Trek arranged marriage epistolary fic. I read this 4 years ago, and I STILL think of a line from this fic constantly (we're aligned, we're aligned, we're aligned). If you don't read anything else for the rest of your life, read this.

DON'T THE WAVES PULL THE SAND? DON'T THE MOON PULL THE TIDES? - 58k, complete, Star Wars, finnpoe. I don't even go here. And yet. And yet. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, AGAIN).

Not Part of the Plan - SERIES, 8 works, 337k, complete. Supernatural, destiel. This is an arranged marriage fic au series, that started with a oneshot pwp, and somehow grew into a sprawling, world and character building EPIC. And that to me is always a marker of quality. You KNOW it's good if the author couldn't stop themselves.

wander your own land - 379k, incomplete, Yellowjackets, shaunajackie and others. I told you I like long fics. Girl survival situationships, cannibalism, jealousy, cabin fever, hallucinations, trying to keep a fucking baby alive in some of the worst possible circumstances.

Infinite Variations of a Summer Day - 76k, complete, X-Men, Pietro Maximoff. I love Pietro, he is one of my favorite characters of all time, and this is such a great character fic. See Pietro slowly driven insane in a time loop that examines his relationships with himself, his team, his family, and his powers.

drop your own recs in the notes. and if you have any suggestions for griddlehark/the locked tomb, pLEA- *gunshots*

[lefthalfoflancelot]

AND OH NO I IMMEDIATELY MESSED UP AND FULLY MISINTERPRETED THE ENTIRE REQUEST FOR TEEN AND UP AND GENERAL RATINGS ONLY BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS THE OTHER DIRECTION: AS IN ONLY THINGS TEEN AND UP AND NOT ANYTHING BELOW THAT. NOT ‘TEEN & UP’ AS ONE ENTIRE RATING IM SO STUPID AND SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭

If it’s any consolation: the author of Expectations denotes where the smut is so that you can skip it entirely. And To Build a Home has minor sexual connotations near the end of it but they’re glazed over and also very flowery so it’s something that’s not very explicitly said. More of a poetic love than something raunchy.

I could kick myself for misreading what you wrote and I’m so so so so sorry for that. I sometimes don’t process what I’m reading when I go “oh! i can help with that!” and rush into action. I’m glad I reread the post, though to catch myself… after I posted my reply. I’m stupid. I’m gonna go crawl in a hole and be mortified about it for a day now, sorry.

—————

ive been on a destiel kick for the past two months. So, here are some bangers I’ve cried to and weep for and die for (i have a particular fondness for slow burn and some of these are the slowest burns ever. i mean that so be warned lmao):

Expectations by everandanon (Explicit | 418k Words) I adored this one even though, toward the end, I got frustrated with Dean and Cas being dumb stupid idiots. But, that’s part of why I adore them. This is also A/B/O and set in a more Victorian/Regency era.

Under the Midnight Sun by NorthernSparrow (Explicit | 232k Words) This ended up being one of my absolute favorites and wholly unexpected. There’s a lot of twists and turns in it that will catch you out and off guard, but it’s worth the read. I adore Dean in this and his need and desire to love people.

To Build a Home by intothesilentland (Mature | 383k Words) I have never cried so much reading fic than reading this. It’s very descriptive which I know is not for a lot of folks, but I’m a poet and so I adore the use of symbols and metaphors and just flowery things in general. This is a fic heavily dipped in grief and loss, which helped me so much with my own grief. Also it has ADHDean and he’s so beautifully written and it makes me feel heard and represented because just the way he stumbles over conversation and thinking too much all the time about everything, I dunno… it resonates with me a lot. Anyway, this hurt my heart and if you want a lot of angst with these boys’ love, please read this one.

Let It Be by Persephoneshadow (Mature | 143k Words) This is a “what if Mary lived and John died” fics and I find it to be beautifully made. I like fics that, if Mary’s alive, it paints her as a complicated figure that’s not all perfect or all Dean has imagined. I particularly like this one because much of the fic has Dean being Dean it isn’t wracked by the parental trauma of being neglected and forced into a father-mother role for Sam. Anyways, it’s a really lovely fic and I adored every bit of it.

A Graced Kingdom by abtarchive (Explicit | 318k Words) I think this has to be up there in the top 5 of my fav Destiel fics. It’s got quite a bit of action, slow burn, and wonderful characters. As someone who, as he’s gotten older, felt more critical of the way folks write and talk about black and brown characters, this one does such an enormous job at giving them the justice they deserve and to be written like the author cares about them. As someone brown, myself, that means so, so, so immensely to me. Emery, Elaria, and Kyra have to be some of my favorite OCs I’ve ever read. Oh and this one has such good relationships outside of the main pairing. Without giving away to much, one of them absolutely broke me and left me hollow and sobbing for eternity.

Hautley’s Bend by ColdInTheStudio (Explicit | 500k Words) Lastly, this one! I haven’t finished it yet because the fic itself feels very heavy, which is rich since I’m like 3 chapters away from finishing “To Build a Home” but anyways, it’s a tough read because of the material, imo. A lot of darkness in Dean and especially centered around John and a lot of that comes out in violence. It’s such a wonderful fic, though, and I feel like something that should be read because it’s beautifully crafted and with a lot of pain and emotions to push through and process. Missouri in this is just, ugh, I would die for that woman. I would DIE for her.

I can’t really put to words how much these fics have meant to me while reading them or how fantastic they really are. So, my little short descriptions of them hopefully suffice. You and others may have read these before as I kinda took a really long hiatus on fanfic reading from like I wanna say 2015 or 2016 to today. I only recently started reading a bunch and have hyperfixated on it a bunch since early October of this year. So, I’m playing a lot of catch up and it has honestly been the time of my life holy shit.

But, again I apologize if these are fics you’ve already read. I have a desire to read the slowest of burns and the longest of fics and that’s just been my preference since fic reading (I CONSUMED riseofthefallenone’s fics like Hunting For Faith and A Little Patience like they fueled my life force) so that’s what I’ve mainly been searching for myself. These also happen to be rather popular fics, too, lmao, so all the more likely people have read them.

Regardless, I hope that this has helped and will fill your days or weeks with all that Dean and Cas goodness! There’s a few more I didn’t list because I’ve been reading A LOT and don’t remember the names because I have ADHD and can only remember how they made me feel and what happened in them as they ripped my heart to shreds. It’s all been a jumbled mess of Dean and Cas and wild stories in my head for the past two months. I forget to bookmark stuff and didn’t have my history on while I read, so fun times. 😭

I wanna read destiel fanfics so bad but I need recommendations. Someone help. Teen & up / general ratings only. I'm looking for longfics. Can be completed or wip.

TIA here is how happy you will make me:

[floralandfailing]

Spirk posting oh my god I'm Spirk posting

I'm planning on rewatching the Star Trek Kelvin trilogy soon, it's just that time of the year where I get the urges to watch it. And one thing I always come back to especially in Star Trek (2009) is Ambassador Spock. He meets this new, different, younger Kirk and surely that reminds him of his Kirk. That's so sad that's so depressing it makes me SOB every time I watch it. As far as I remember Ambassador Spock never goes back to his original timeline either, and even before that he lost his Kirk. Literally this man is doomed to never see his boyf ever again and I'm SO SAD ABOUT IT. Like, I love the Kelvin timeline so much, I really love the portrayals of Spock and Kirk in those films. But knowing that their relationship develops and Ambassador Spock has to watch on destroys me.

Leonard Nimoy yearning. Leonard Nimoy is so fucking gorgeous good fucking lord. I'll open up Pinterest or Instagram and his face will be the first thing I see and I am just so blown away by him, genuinely stunned to the point where I have to sit there for a moment and reflect.

Spirk is so special to me I cannot understand how I lived without Spirk because I think of them constantly in every situation and scenario ever they're just embedded into my brain permanently. The same way that Destiel trends on here every 5 seconds, that's where Spirk is for me. They're trending in my mind.

[angelsdean]

I think it's sooooo interesting also how sometimes communication is happening but it's being so misunderstood and just,I love them. Like I think about that part in Clip Show where Castiel apologizes and Dean is angry and clear about why he's angry ( not being trusted) and he mentions the fact that good intentions are not enough, which I feel like Castiel reinforces in his mind like I Can't Come With Just Intentions but with Results. Which is,,, not what is being asked but also he's missing the little moment later than Sam and Dean have between them about Castiel. So it's so. Because communication is happening but not being understood and like, dean doesn't even know Castiel had been programmed to kill him - specifically - a bunch of time, which I also think its part of what fueled Castiel to get away from him since the possibility of Naomi taking control and making him attack him is real. But dean doesn't know that! And it's just sooooooo fun and interesting how they understand each other so well in regards to other things, but can miss each other too.

literally literally it's sooo good and delicious to me. they've been miscommunicating for 12 yrs. not maliciously. not on purpose. they both want the same things, really. they both want to be with each other and stay / be asked to stay and help and protect each other!! but both also come with their own baggage and traumas and that color their perceptions and make certain actions hurt or impact them more. like you said, cas interprets bits of conversation and thinks, "ok i need to come back with a 'win.' i need to be Useful (his heaven trauma / spending a millennia being a soldier and tool for heaven). i need to prove i am worthy of my 'place' in the winchester's family." All of which are things dean has never said or asked of him but because of the way cas was "raised", for lack of a better word, this is how cas interprets things.

and dean, dean so desperately wants to be in the loop! he wants cas to stick around! he wants to know cas is safe! he wants to work together and help cas. and after a lifetime of being ignored, kept in the dark, neglected, ghosted, and been on a "need to know" basis by his father, these are things that trigger dean and hurt him. and it's not cas's fault. he doesn't do these things maliciously. he doesn't realize he's hurting dean by keeping him in the dark.

neither one ever wants to hurt the other. they both keep trying to communicate but they're speaking different languages based on their own experiences. dean doesn't ask cas to stay because he's been made to feel his desires don't matter. he's not allowed to want. and asking cas to stay feels selfish. because he thinks, "well, if cas actually wanted to stick around he would! and since he's always leaving that must mean he doesn't want to stay here with me."

meanwhile cas is desperately wishing dean would ask him to stay because no one has ever asked him to stay. and cas wants to stay, hates to be away, but he thinks he needs to Prove himself. thinks he needs to come back with those "wins." thinks staying is selfish. thinks he needs to put the Mission and the greater good above his personal wants. so he doesn't stay. and he thinks dean not asking him to stay also means dean doesn't care if he leaves.

they both constantly want the same things and constantly deny themselves what they want while thinking the other doesn't feel the same.....the one thing i want is something i know i can't have. (dean: you could have me! you've always had me!)

anyways, the profound miscommunication while both so desperately wanting the same things is a core destiel trait.

[chaoticfandomgirly]

I love Supernatural, but let's acknowledge that it's in no way one of the best shows when it comes in terms of production and writing.

Despite the blatant homophobia shown in the show by killing almost every queer character and giving us destiel breadcrumbs, I did not like Dean's character in the last 2-3 seasons at all.

And I am saying this as someone who stans Dean wholeheartedly.

But, his whole relationship with Jack that had progressed so much really crumbled in s15. His initial wariness of Jack when he was first introduced made sense. However, after the whole Mary being killed off thing and Dean holding a grudge, even though it was sort of established that Dean posed as a father figure for Jack, really monumentally pissed me off. Like COME ON, why do you have to erase all his character arc? It really didn't make sense to me, as I just couldn't see the real Dean being like that. It felt forced and really out of character. And Sam really was the only one acting with some rationality and a semblance.

People would say that the spn finale, ruined the show. I would say it was definitely the whole of s15 that was a disappointment.

Besides this, WHAT HAPPENED TO CLAIRE? She quickly became one of my favourite and most anticipated guest characters. I really enjoyed her episodes. But then, the show never even explored into hers and Castiel's relationship? Like what the actual fuck? I thought it would be gr8 to see two of them together, and all I got was a big pile of nada. It was such a good plot point too! I was totally gone on Cas acting as a protective father for Claire, and then it was it. Nothing else whatsoever between them. Not to mention how Wayward sisters never came to be. 'Cause I sure as hell adored those characters. There was soo much to explore.

There are a lot of other things but these two are what constantly piss me off whenever they cross my mind.

The real villains were the showrunners not Chuck.

Anyways, I felt like ranting and now that it's over, have a lovely day everyone!

[marcskywalker]

merthur au/prompts I can't stop thinking about (@ fic writers)

arthur being magic positive and hiding it from merlin. I spoke more about it here and @neupulman wrote this amazing fic based on it but omg this idea lives in my head RENT FUCKING FREE and I'd love as many fics written on it as possible

merlin being cursed (or wtv) and temporarily loses his magic. He grows insanely controlling of arthur cause he feels like he can no longer protect arthur from danger if he doesn't have magic and is constantly trying is order him around. no, you're not allowed to go there, no you can't say that, no you're not allowed to accept food from him. and arthur is just ?????? tf is wrong with my best friend?? but doesn't read much into it because it's merlin and merlin's always been a little weird and bossy. merlin keeps getting into so much more trouble (cause again, his usual way of staying out of trouble is magic) so arthur's put in position to protect him more often and both of them are ???????? "why THE FUCK ARE you putting yourself in danger for me??" and "WHY ARE YOU getting into so much trouble??" until they figure out that "oh you're in love with me and can't bare to see any harm come to me" and "oh you have magic and someone already hurt you by taking it away"

Arthur meeting Merlin's family for the first time and being accepted. Idk how clear I can make this but I hate Arthur's family and how is he is treated by them (except you ygraine, you're dead and lovely) so ya someone give that boy loving affirmations

One of them is brainwashed/mind controlled/possessed and beats the shit out of the other person who refuses to fight back. I LOVE this trope. It slaps all the time. Look at destiel. Look at stucky. ALL THE TIME

another au that I've spoke about before AND I'LL SPEAK ABOUT IT AGAIN: I took that scene where Arthur says "I'll give up my crown just see her smile again" or something like that about morgana, and ran with it. There is only so many assassination attempts a brother can go through before he wilts and does another to have his sister back. In Arthur's case: he willingly hands over the throne for a chance at having a chance at his pesty, loving, older sister (I AM A YOUNGER BROTHER ARTHUR TRUTHER) look at him with something other than endless hate. what I Love about this prompt is that it could go so so many different ways. @mobycotton was lovely enough to write this amazing fic for me that I LOVED. In my head, Arthur is really shaken up by another one of Morgana's attempts at killing him. He doesn't know what's saved him and at this point he wishes whatever it is would stop. He goes down a spiral thinking of his family; the mother that he killed, the father that he let down, the uncle he betrayed and the sister he never deserved. What good could he be for Camelot when he wasn't even good enough for his flesh and blood. So he announces his truce; gives it over to morgana and leaves Camelot and everyone he knows behind. The knights and merlin have to eventually hunt him down and convince him otherwise (and he meets random people along the way who are stans of King Arthur just like me and he gets some sort of self esteem back)

Protective BAMF merlin. Basically merlin overhears someone talking shit about his prince and starts a fist fight. Arthur finds out

Mid s1 merthur where Arthur knows he's in love with Merlin and he shoves it DEEP inside, sticks to pining after his manservant like the pathetic (lovingly) puppy he is. All Merlin knows is that, for whatever reason, he would rather eat his own feet than let anything happen to Arthur. Which is why when brave, stupid arthur walks towards a stranger light source in the forest; he follows without hesitation, only to see...... arthur and himself snogging against a tree? Basically a pining, repressed prince Arthur and Merlin I don't know what this weird feeling in my tummy when I see him is Emrys accidentally walks through a portal into an alternatively universe where they know how to communicate well and have been disgustingly in love. The four of them have to work together to get Arthur and Merlin back where they belong.

Merlin makes a deal with his king cenred: for protection of his village, he will infiltrate Camelot's castle and bring them down. He just wishes someone had told him that prince charming of Camelot would make him fall in love with his pouty lips and gooey eyes. I don't know if yáll have noticed this but Arthur pouts A LOT. I can't take him seriously smh

[wenellyb]

I've seen people who ship non-canon couples could get toxic and in my opinion the writers never want to cater to those fans who harrass cast, complain constantly and spread hate on their official social media.

It seems like storyline always ends up becoming messy:

- Destiel, became semi-canon in the most chaotic way.

- Stucky: they had Steve go back in time to be with Peggy and even when he return made sure everyone knew Steve x Bucky was never going to happen.

- Japril, from Grey's Anatomy: they were canon but were divorced and then Japril fandom got super toxic when Jackson got with Maggie, in the end the writers wrote April off for seemingly no reason. I can't help but think that it was partly due to the fandom behavior.

My question is, do you guys know a fandom where the non-canon pairing became canon even though the fandom was toxic?

I only have these examples in mind but I want to know if there are more... because I'm thinking the writers usually will try not to "reward" that kind of behavior even when they might ha e originale planned to follow through with that plan.

I'm asking because I'm wondering what spm0e Buddie shippers think they'll acheive with their hateful behavior and also wondering why the normal shippers aren't calling out the toxic ones.

Your fandom driving an actor you claim to adore off of social media would be a wake up call for most.

[bananamarshmallowz]

I'm here to talk about Destiel...

The internet is a very funny place.

If you're in need of a good laugh, go to your favorite series, show, films what have you and ask what are you unpopular opinions with _said show_.

I have watched dozens of shows and always think I might be the only one, post that and see what happens.

I am a shipper but I normally don't talk or boast about what/who I ship, it's not relevant and it can be weird. I don't ship actors/real humans, that's crossing lines. Characters however, yes. Anyway, I have to bring up this one. One comment said "Destiel shouldn't have happened." Okay, I get that, people can get weird about it. Then they go on to say how every shipper claws and digs for stuff that isn't there.

And again, I'm not saying some people don't dig but not all gay/LGBTQ+ representation is completely shown in media. Mentioned maybe here and there, sure. But there's endless cis-straight-relationship romance movies, romance themes and what have you. Some series make really bad portrayals and give gay people a bad rap because they're the only representation. And don't get me wrong, sometimes we do dig and claw because we feel what they portray, or at least we think so. But sometimes we don't need to dig.

That same thread added the random siren or even the policeman from yellow fever had more chemistry than Dean and Cas ever have. - Him looking at the soldier's ass in Time After Time while walking in the store. Yes, those were weird scenes, why were they even shown? Great question, I don't know I'm just here. - And as for they have no chemistry... They won best chemistry award for TV... It doesn't get better than that.

This is more of a rant than I want but this is certainly one of my favorite shows. And I feel the need to say what's on my mind because I know I can't afford therapy, so this is the next best thing.

Oh yeah before I start this, I have read numerous comments accusing all the actors of horrendous things... - Firstly, they all have kids, and wives and love their kids so much. I don't think they would do anything to jeopardize that. So stop making up messed up shit. - Secondly, I don't want to believe other people make other people uncomfortable for fun, but some people do. But considering that they acted for more than 8 years together, I'm pretty sure working with people that are cool for that long, they all had a strong bond. And all the times that Jensen looks uncomfortable whenever Misha goes into or talks about Destiel, it's because technically they're not even allowed to say anything about the show regarding shipping characters because anything could've been true, it could've not been. If every actor were able to spoil their movie, we'd be out of movies but we aren't. And Jensen is a rather shy individual, funny enough. At the beginning of Supernatural he was 27, and Jared was 23. When Misha joined when he was 34. They were and still are wholesome and great people. Regardless, All of them would pull pranks and stuff on the show, they're friends, not some messed up whatever someone said, I'm blown away that people would even imply some things. You can look up any video of everyone being close with one another from hugs to dancing, to singing to whatever. So don't say "read the room" when they're just being themselves, I shift a lot when in public, does that mean I'm constantly uncomfortable? No. - THIRDLY, they were all lowkey scared of certain parts of supernatural, in 2017 they did an interview with Entertainment Weekly {this one} and said what the scariest episodes or concepts were at the time for them. Jared's was changelings, shapeshifters, demons possessing people, things that could be real but possibly something posing as someone but something's off. Jensen's was people doing really messed up things and that it was the most realistic thing that could actually happen. Humans being psycho. And vintage dolls, lmao, same. And Misha said that everything could give him nightmares. He's so soft, any of it could give him nightmares. These guys are human. Not some terrible against religion people, they play on a show. Pure human. Just like everyone else.

ANYWAY, I think we all know the infamous eye sex scenes LMAO... if you haven't heard of them... {here's 10 minutes of them staring at each other} and that's not even all the seasons

They always look each other up and down and just stare at each other.

Above, Dean says "Cas, we talked about this. Personal space." and then Cas backs off. He doesn't know why, he just knows it makes Dean uncomfortable, so to make him more comfortable, he takes a few steps back. But Cas isn't aware of how complicated humans are. Personal space are just words, angels shouldn't care what humans have to say. They're so primal and they need more than just basic shelter and foods, they need the whole pyramid of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. He doesn't understand this until he goes through it himself, but we're getting slightly off topic. Sure, them continuing to stare could be just a funny little thing at the start... no. It still happens up to the last episodes.

This is the musical episode, Fanfiction, Season 10, Episode 5. Destiel, Samstiel and the most dreaded Sam/Dean are mentioned... They're brothers. As someone with siblings... gross.

"You can't spell subtext without S-E-X." Then Jensen gave this look to the camera, I think this is on behalf of many of the people on the show.

Below, they end a scene after talking but it's about 15 seconds of them just staring at each other then it ends. Personally, I'm not a big fan of eye contact, and try to make at least 5 or maybe 2 seconds of contact in between interacting with someone, anything more than 10 is past uncomfortable... I don't stare at anyone this long. Legit the scene is so long lmao

I don't remember the context on this but I just don't like eye contact. Both their eyes are gorgeous but I don't stare like this, especially with any of my siblings. When they have a hard time I hug them if they want a hug, talk to them, but I don't make eye contact like that.

I have never looked at my friends like this, not my best friends, certainly not my siblings. Someone I had a crush on, possibly.

Next, they are going in as Texas Rangers and Dean explains how to get Cas into character. "Yeah. Look, just act like you're from Tombstone, okay?" "The city?" "With Kurt Russell? I made you watch it." "Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The one with the guns and tuberculosis." [in a deep cowboy voice] "I'm your Huckleberry." [gulps] "Yeah, exactly.-"

I don't have anything other than I like that scene and how Cas says, "I'm your Huckleberry" :D

(SPOILERS AHEAD Whoops lol)

-

When Cas dies Dean tries to pray to God even though he swore off praying to God. One of the lines is "We've lost everything." Mary's gone, correct but everyone else is alive, except Cas. They still had the Bunker, Baby, Jack. Cas and Mary died (she fell through and there was no way to know she was alive.) But considering that Sam is still alive, the guy Dean has fought tooth and nail to save all these years, is standing by him, ready to fight what may come. But Cas is dead... Dean obliterates his hand from punching on a bathroom door. It's frankly the most punches he's made in a single scene I think and even then, God doesn't answer him so he begins to mourn. It creeps in that his friend is gone.

When Cas is being burned, at first it peers to Jack who sees the man who is supposed to be his father, not blood father but someone who promised to look out for him, someone he doesn't even know, he feels the loss but he's just been born and he never really met Cas.

Then we roll to Sam, he's lost a dear friend and is sad. He's wanting to cry and fidget and be sad.

THEN we roll to Dean. His face is drained of all emotion. He has lost his best friend. His dear companion and looks like he lost it all despite his brother being right next to him. He can't even move.

Now I would be sad if one of my brothers died but sadly I don't have that much of a connection with them as Dean and Cas have. And thankfully I haven't yet experienced one of my brothers pass on.

But I have lost a few lovers, and that... That is the face I have felt. When everything else feels irrelevant. You don't care about anything. You can't care about anything. You are numb.

-

And this all brings us to the finale.

Death is on her way, has them by their hearts, well Dean's in fact. They run/slowly walk over to Basement Storage Room 7B and Cas wards the room, slowing down Death on the other side.

This is the exact moment before he loses Cas for the last time. (I'm copying from the script on the Supernatural wiki, don't hate me, I watched it over and over too, and I've shortened Cas's monologue because I don't want to relive that heartbreak again lmao) But basically Cas realizes this is it, this is the happiest he has been. Everyone was alive and well, he has Dean alone at last. The last exchange they had was this: "You changed me, Dean." "Why does this sound like a goodbye? "Because it is." - "I love you."

"Don't do this, Cas." - "Cas..." "Goodbye, Dean." "What?"

Cas pushes Dean out of the way and gets taken by the Empty.

He has to process all these years of interactions with this awkward little man with sensible shoes in less than five minutes and it all crumbles.

Castiel is gone. And he's not coming back.

Sam keeps trying to call Dean but he's just getting Dean's voicemail and Dean isn't answering. He simply can't.

-

A few episodes later, Dean fucking dies. Just how he said he would, to a monster, like any other job. It felt rushed and I didn't like it.

But how they ended it could've been so much worse.

Dean makes it to heaven, expecting just memory lane, but Bobby's there and says Jack remade heaven new, everyone's together in heaven where they belong. He offers him a beer and tells him how different heaven is and how it's so much better.

Dean's sold, but it's missing something.

This is directly after Bobby tells Dean that Cas helped Jack rebuild heaven.

After that, he takes a drive as he waits out Sam's life. He meets Sam on the bridge and that's the end.

For years, Dean didn't have an obvious love interest, here and there a fling maybe but nothing romantic. All the soft scenes were pretty much between him and Cas.

Their bond isn't brotherly, it's very best friend-ish but lovers can be friends too.

And that's my review on Destiel and why it's a thing it's 4 am and I haven't slept well the past two days so what to do other than write about destiel

ok bye :]

[demonbloodenthusiast]

DEAN. WAS. FALLING. FOR. CAS. HERE. HE. KISSED. HIM. SOFTLY. JUST. FOR. CAS. TO. BE. KISSED. SOFTLY. IN. THE. MIDDLE. OF. WAR. AT. NIGHT. WITH. ENEMY. CLOSE. BY. GUNNING. TO KILL. IN. THE. MIDST. OF. VIOLENCE. AND. CAS'. OWN. SHAME. OF. WANTING. TO. BE. HELD. AND. CARED FOR. AND. LOVED. DEAN. KISSED. HIM. KNOWING. THAT. HE'D. BE. PUSHED. AWAY. BUT. HOPING. THAT. MAYBE. JUST. MAYBE. CAS'LL. ACCEPT. A. SINGLE. SMALL. ACT. OF. COMFORT. AND. KISS. BACK. (because maybe, just maybe, dean also wants to be kissed like he means the world to cas someone)

[soullessjack]

I’ve been on TikTok a lot because my FYP has been infiltrated by SPN and most people on there think he has the mental mind of a 3 y/o or a baby. How is this possible to think with his storylines? It doesn’t make sense to me. I wasn’t in the fandom, just an avid show watcher, and I saw him similar to Amara and how she’s an adult that grew up fast except he was just born grown but naive because the world is complex. So how do people get to him having a baby mind? It feels ableist to me but I can’t figure out how to articulate why (like when someone has developmental disabilities and someone says, “They have the mind of a _y/o,” when that person’s needs/skills/etc are more complex) and I was wondering if you could shine some light on why you think this happens. I don’t think people understand why other people have uncomfortable feelings surrounding baby/toddler/kid!Jack but I can’t remove it from accidental ableism. I’ve tried talking to people about it on TikTok but they either double down or say that it’s my opinion. However, I don’t feel like canon supports theirs. Thank you. I love you your posts about Jack and your insight. Good work.

hi, thanks :3

genuinely I don’t know, and I ask myself that every single time I go through spn tiktok lmao. the best I can figure is, for one, TikTok is the app where media literacy and nuance go to die like dogs. there’s no arguing with anybody there unless you get lucky (source: I’ve argued).

two, I think genuinely it comes from the over-saturation of baby!jack content in the fandom, both in and out of tumblr, and the extremely minimal amount of content where he’s actually treated with nuance and complexity. like, it exists, but only in very small circles that the majority of the fandom clearly ignores. from what I’ve seen most of spn-tok is focused on TFW or Dean or Destiel and don’t generally care about Jack that much, so it kinda makes sense that they’d just run with the most prevalent idea of jack and not really think about it in the long run, or when they watch the show.

a lot of the arguments I’ve seen literally boil down to “he wears Velcro sneakers” and “he doesn’t know [insert thing]” or just his general social awkwardness/unawareness (which Cas displayed all the time in the early seasons but never got outright infantilized for). like look at this:

and there’s millions more comments like this, unfortunately. I don’t mean to speak for everyone, but at least for me, the body language and specific mannerisms Alex put into his portrayal of Jack is what resonated the most as an autistic thing, naïveté and poor social skills aside of course. Like, he fidgets/stims constantly—

and none of this is scripted for him to do, either! Alex just decided it worked, and he was right!!

—and to see these very blatant autistic traits be reduced down to “portrayal of a child/toddler” is downright sickening, especially when plenty of other autistic fans have pointed it out and expressed to Alex that they relate to Jack and even asked if he had done it on purpose because it was so well done.

what I’m personally confused on is how many people will double down on jack being a child like it’s driftwood in the ocean. like, going back to my argument, I gave the other person multiple points in the show that make it obvious jack is intended to be an adult. Harper, the beer, any of the trauma he’s endured; the works. and all they had to say to that was “you do you I guess.” and it’s like what do you mean, ‘you do you’? I’m giving you actual examples that happen in the show, and I’m asking you to think ‘hey, maybe if jack flirted with a girl and talked nonstop about what it’s like to fall in love and have sex for an entire episode and had his dad offer to go to a dive bar for bucket-list hookups in the episode after, maybe he isn’t a child.’

but again, this is TikTok, so asking for any kind of self examination is asking for too much.

it just strikes me as odd. it’s odd and confusing and horribly frustrating that people are dying on this hill like it’s some kind of civic duty. like, why does it matter to you so much to see Jack as a child? why is it so important for you to think of him that way, that you just ignore canon evidence and autistic voices to make yourself feel right? what was even weirder was they were autistic themselves, and said they wouldn’t dream of infantilizing him, but here we are. their reasoning was “he’s literally 3 by the end of the show,” and that was it. And of course they weren’t wrong, but if you look at every time Jack or anyone else acknowledges his age:

D: “how old do you think you are?”

J: “3 days, 17 hours and 42 minutes”

Dean shrugs and lets him drink beer.

M: “You should be six months old.”

J: “I am…sort of.”

Mary shrugs and treats Jack like a teenager from there on out

M: “Do you ever hang out? I mean, with kids your own age?”

J: “Well, I’m two…enty. I’m twenty…two. I’m twenty-two.”

While the show acknowledges Jack’s actual age, it’s arguably on the same level of acknowledgment of Cas being literally older than time, because what people strangely fail to remember is that Jack is not completely human and doesn’t have the natural aging or developmental process that humans do. He’s three in the same way Vision is three, and Vision is already married with children. Beyond that, there are plenty of times when Jack is referred to as a teenager or treated like one, like Dean’s “he’s a millennial” joke in Last Holiday (wrongly termed but the intent is still there). Hell, even in the scripts they’ll directly say things like:

“Jack is spiraling out, a teenage powder keg,” (13x06 Tombstone, deleted writer’s draft)

“Kelly can’t help but smile, so impressed by the man he’s become, but not about to let him out of her sight,” (14x08 Byzantium, prod. draft)

that make it pretty clear Jack is functionally an adult despite his unnatural age, just like Cas or Amara or even Emma (also the added bonus that Jack explicitly hates being called a child or treated like one, but people literally reacted to that like “oh silly baby wants to be in charge like a grownup” so, like, I don’t even know what to do with that) (and banking off of that, every other time Jack is explicitly put into an adult situation, like flirting with Harper and literally asking Dean how to have sex, sooo many notes on that gif set were the same parroted “nooo baby boy don’t corrupt your innocent mind!! dean is such a bad influence 😂😂😂😂”, so the obtuseness is very intentional). I try not to be accusatory when I talk about the way Jack is treated in the fandom, as a general for online discussion and because I know it’s largely unintentional, but I really do think Destiel (and Sastiel) have some hand in it.

If you look at the majority of Baby!Jack content, it all centers around how domestic either ship is with baby!jack, how good Dean is with kids (baby jack) and how much of a sweet older sister Claire would be, etc. It’s all for the sake of domesticity. It’s the white picket fence family dream that canon TFW2.0 doesn’t really quite have. It’s to make Dean and Cas and Sam and Cas and Claire and Rowena and whoever else, a softer version of themselves. It’s never actually about Jack. He’s just the cannon fodder; the prop; the dress setting; the accessory. He’s there to make everyone else look better and to fuel them forward. No matter how much people want to argue that it’s “giving Jack the childhood he should’ve had,” we both know it’s not actually about him, because canon coming in with the steel chair again: Jack literally chose to be an adult. He hates being considered a child and has never expressed anything more than wanting to be a regular teenager. And like I said, people on spn-tok are naturally Destiel centered, so it’s honestly not very surprising that they just can’t let go of this content cow because it’s just too cute and wholesome and precious of course, despite it being rampant ableism and just generally annoying to people who actually do care about Jack in a deeper sense. Gag me. So maybe that explains the doubling down, but then what gets even more confusing to me is, like, you can have a domestic family AU that doesn’t rely on erasing a character to fit a specific image. You can have a domestic family AU without being ableist about it. You don’t have to do any of the things you keep consistently doing. You even fucking already it in the show! Canon TFW2.0 is dysfunctional on various levels, but so was TFW, and so were just Sam and Dean. It’s simply their dynamic, and it’s what adds to their family bond being what it is to begin with. Nothing you’re doing is something you need to.

I wanna stop before this gets longer than it has to be, but for one final thought I think the general lack of care for autistic people in any space is part of it, too. It’s why half of our representation is painfully inaccurate or egregiously offensive; it’s why fandoms of media with autistic/autistic-coded characters almost always rampantly infantilize them (cough cough SheRa). And like with Alex’s mannerism choices, it’s the distinct yet subconscious connection between autistic behaviors and childlike behaviors, because autistic people are so largely treated as incapable innocent children and cannon fodder for their autism warrior parents; both of which reflect like direct sunlight in Baby!Jack tropes. And it’s why people just don’t care enough to do anything about it, to heed any criticisms about the harm they’re doing, because to them it’s not harmful. It’s not a problem that’s doing any perceivably “real” damage because they haven’t been personally hurt by it (except when it comes to unfair Dean criticism or Sam or Cas criticism, because that’s clearly more important than ableist rhetoric and representation erasure), and probably because they already hold those views to autistic people in the real world.

The world at large does not care for autistic people, or disabled people in general. Nothing that hurts us is considered anything serious. Nothing that matters to us is considered valuable or worth respecting. And because of that, we already struggle in the real world day by day, so we turn to online spaces for connection and sharing our interests safely. We turn here for community, only to be met with the same indifference and rejection as the real world, because the same people we’re trying to avoid are here too, and then we have nowhere else.

•••

**im probably going to make this a separate post but I also want to talk about the weird cognitive dissonance that the fandom has with babyjack and how it’s pretty much considered “acceptable infantilization,” and how so many people in the fandom have said they want more complex jack but still engage with content that actively erases Jack’s complexity and relies on that erasure to make him what he is).

***edit: tags 4 reach, absolutely feel free to ask for removal! ik it’s out of the blue but you guys have had some of the better takes on jack lol @angelsdean @hauntedpearl @uh-ohspaghettio @queermania

[laf-outloud]

D*stiel shippers would swear that their ship is canon yet still be crying about it three years later. What is funny is them not connecting the dots between having 100K fanfictions and the ship not being canon lol. Do they see actual slow burn like Delena (TVD) or Chair (GG) shippers still crying about their ship being canon or sending anon to blogs trying to prove everyone about it? Off course not because their ship is canon and they get to enjoy every epic scenes, foreshadowing, heartbreaks and reunion ONSCREEN. I was in the TVD fandom and I know for a fact that people go crazy with fanfictions, manips, fan arts and edits when the ship is NOT canon. People try to make up for what they don’t have onscreen/canon and once it become canon the desire for fafics and all decreases because people are satisfied. It’s must suck to always purposely delude themselves and desperately find blogs/panderers/cult who would constantly validate their delusion.  

Exactly! You only ever need to "fix" something that doesn't exist. Don't mind me, but I'm going to venture into the math portion of my response, lol! Obviously, this is a small sampling off of one tag, but I imagine it's a decent representation of SPN works.

If you sort by the Fix-it tag in AO3, there are 7600 total works. Based on that number, 66% have the Destiel tag. And that Dean and Sam number? 413 of those also have the Destiel tag. Remove that and Sam & Dean Fix-it fics only equal 4.6%.

(Oh, and that number for Eileen/Sam fics? All but 48 have the Destiel tag.)

Sam and Dean fans have 327 glorious episodes of brotherly love and codependency that, in large part, requires no fixing. Hellers have to rewrite the entire show in order to make their ship work, and they're too idiotic to see it.