#despite this he has no idea about what's going on in his surroundings 90% of the time

[kepnerandavery]

I just noticed how alert Anthony Bridgerton is. He's always on the look out for something, ready to defend himself and his loved ones from possible threats (that don't exist), and it's so sad and hilarious at the same time

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 40

PREV

The Winter Banquet.

Where the Spring Championship announcements happen for Collegiate Exy. A formal event meant to allow the ERC to showcase how their stars weren’t just brutes on the court. Look at how beautiful and handsome they all were. Look at how they danced together. Look at the smiles and laughter and-

Wait.

No.

Put that down.

Who had the great idea to put the Jackals next to the Terrapins? Things have been tense between the teams since the Captain of the Terrapins stole the Captain of the Jackal’s date during the Fall Banquet!

I thought we all agreed that there would never be any more steak knives! What was the point of paying for all the pre-cut tenderloins if we’re just going to give them steak knives?! 

Really gotta find an intern to pin this fiasco on.

Oh great the Foxes are leaving! Did we even get a picture of Kevin Day in his suit? Fuck it’s going to be a two intern firing kind of day isn’t it.

Someone get an eye on the Ravens before they try and grab some hapless idiot and sacrifice him to revive Riko Moriyama. If there’s even one more damn tabloid with a blurry photo of ‘Riko Moriyama’ to prove that his death was faked then heads will roll.

Honestly, the biopic that some Edgar Allan Film student is making about him seems pretty interesting. The ERC just wishes people would stop taking pics of the ‘lead actor’ and sending it to tabloids as proof that the King hadn’t died.

Fuck, the Foxes left before we got any decent pictures.

Well just great.

You’d think that after all these years of the Foxes leaving early they’d have learned that getting pictures as they arrive is the most important thing. 

Oh thank god it looks like the Trojans are starting to mediate the fight. You can always count on good ol’ Jeremy.

Fuck.

A Raven got too close to Jean Moreau and now Jeremy Knox has punched a Backliner. Great. The Trojans have formed ranks around Moreau but the kid’s just too damn tall. Someone has hit him in the head with an especially saucy meatball, he’s not injured, just confused. The Trojans are acting like it’s a gunshot he just took to the head.

The refreshment table just seemed to collapse in on itself and god wasn’t that just an allegory for this entire damn evening.

Anita Flores sighs as she watches yet another banquet go down in a riot. Honestly, she doesn’t know why they think these will end up differently. She finds herself often missing when she used to coordinate banquets for football teams.

She sighs and thinks about her least favorite interns.

Alex had been getting a bit too cocky lately. He’d make a good sacrifice.

***

(Three hours earlier)

The Palmetto State Foxes were on their way to the Winter Banquet. From what FF understood it was categorically always a 90% chance of a shitshow. Honestly FF was surprised that the percentage was that low.

There was a general tenseness in the air surrounding it that went beyond the Banquet’s propensity to become a fight. 

This year the Winter Banquet was going to be held up at the Binghamton Bearcat’s stadium. The nation knew the story from the news and FF knew the story from both that and from the Foxes themselves who were there at the time in bits and pieces.

Captain Neil had been kidnapped from this stadium and then he’d been tortured. FF hadn’t even been on the team when it had happened and he was anxious about Captain Neil going anywhere near the stadium.

“He was just…he was just gone.” Matt had said, “Neil was gone and Kevin said that he was probably dead when Andrew got back with his phone.” He continued as the two of them sat up late in the living room of the dorm one night back in early October.

“I thought Andrew was going to kill me y’know.” Kevin had said bottle in hand as FF tried to help him up the stairs because apparently he would 100% guarantee vomit if he was in the nausea box. “I thought that maybe I deserved it, since I didn’t help Neil. I just let him walk to his death.” He said and despite assurances that he wouldn’t puke FF’s shoes did not make it through that journey unscathed.

“We called…we called everywhere.” Nicky had stared up at the ceiling of his hospital room, “Andrew was adamant that he was still alive even though Kevin kept saying he was dead and that dead was the nicest thing he could hope for. I thought that was a terrible thing to say.” Nicky curled up closer to him.

“I told you, Andrew dragged me like I was nothing to get to Neil. I don’t think he even noticed the guns.” Wymack said to Abby as the two sat on the back porch during Aras’ going away party. “His eyes were on Neil.” he gestures towards where Andrew was watching Captain Neil wrestle with Matt.

“He looked like shit.” Aaron had said unable to stomach a diagram of different degrees of burn in his medical book. “At least he was alive.” He adds.

“A hero.” Andrew’s voice had been what could be considered teasing from Andrew, “Someone who looks like her.” he had said touching Captain Neil’s burn scars as they drove away from the stadium after coming back to pick FF up.

Captain Neil had come to him the day before they were set to drive out, “Take me somewhere no one will find me for an hour.” FF hadn’t quite understood what Captain Neil meant, he never hid anywhere. People just failed to realize where he was.

“Ok.” he says instead of trying to explain because being unnoticed means no one hid codes from him.

The roof of the Library wasn’t that much different from the roof of the Tower, only that it was taller and bigger. Captain Neil had shut his phone off after texting something, likely to Andrew, and then put it into his pocket.

FF settled on the roof, sat with his back against a heating vent to stay warm. Captain Neil settled next to him and they sat in silence. It felt like back at the start of this where Captain Neil and Andrew would come find him and just sit in silence. 

It was nice. He had missed-

“They act like the stadium is the thing that kidnapped me.” Captain Neil says.

Oh okay, quiet time is over apparently.

FF doesn’t say anything, figuring that nothing he could say right now would be the right thing and maybe Captain Neil just needs to talk through some stuff.

“That stadium is where I thought I’d have my last good memory.” Captain Neil explains, “I’m not scared of it and yet Andrew’s acting like I’ll die if I’m left alone for more than 2 seconds while we’re there. Every time we go there they all act like the most important thing in the world is that I get on that bus at the end of the night.” Captain Neil explains.

FF does remember how Andrew had grabbed Captain Neil after their October game up in Binghamton. How Captain Neil had complained bitterly but had gone after looking at Andrew.

“He’s dead!” Captain Neil exclaimed and FF couldn’t help but look over at the entrance and hoped no one heard them. “He’s dead! I watched him get shot! He can’t kidnap me again!” Captain Neil continued to yell and FF couldn’t help but worry that they’d be heard below, or worse bother a student trying to study below.

FF reached out and touched Captain Neil’s arm and bright blue eyes turned to him, “We’re on a library. Don’t yell.” FF said and Captain Neil looked at him incredulously.

Then he laughed. He laughed and laughed and FF was worried that he’d gone and broken his Captain.

He suddenly felt bad about his own bout of hysterical laughter a while back.

“Thanks Smith.” Captain Neil had said with a smile.

They had sat up there until it was dark and Andrew had started calling FF’s phone and Captain Neil took the call to say he was coming back.

Now they’re on the bus, dressed nicely, and on their way up to Binghamton’s stadium. Captain Neil and Andrew are hidden in the far back of the bus with Andrew looking far more like a watchdog than anything else the closer they got to their destination.

Captain Neil had seemed largely resigned to this treatment at this point. Eventually they were at the stadium and shown to their seats. They were sat across from the Trojans and it seemed like the rest of the team was quite pleased with that.

“Smith!” Captain Jeremy Knox is smiling at him, “Nice to see you again bud, nice name change too.” he says.

“It’s nice to see you too, Captain Jeremy.” FF says and doesn’t notice how Captain Neil’s head whips around to look at him.

“You two know each other?” Nicky asks looking between the two of them with excitement.

“Of course! We offered Smith a spot at the USC Trojans.” Captain Jeremy says and FF feels his stomach cramp at the memory.

That had been terrifying.

Coach Rheman and Captain Jeremy wanted to sit down to make their offer with his parents. He was still 17 and unable to sign anything legal without their permission. He’d tried to decline and move past them and Captain Jeremy had put the final nail in the coffin at the time for any thought that he could go to college on the power of his apparent Exy capabilities.

“I saw in your file that you have brothers! USC always gives a second look at student applicants who already have siblings in the university. You could go to school with your brothers!” he had smiled brightly like he wasn’t issuing FF one of the most terrifying threats he’d ever heard in his entire life.

He had given the firmest ‘No thank you, I’m not interested in playing Exy in college.’ he could and was running to his Grandma’s to breath into a bag for twenty minutes.

“I see you changed your mind about playing Exy in college.” Captain Jeremy said with the same smile that still feels like a threat.

“Coach Wymack and Captain Dan were convincing.” he says and looks to see if there’s any way he can move further away from Captain Jeremy’s attention.

“Can I ask what convinced you to be a Fox?” Captain Jeremy asks, “I’m always trying to see what support we should be offering. I found out last year that we missed out on Andrew because we didn’t offer spots to Aaron or Nicky. I thought since you had brothers that’d be the thing that got you.” Captain Jeremy leans across the table but stops when he notices the Foxes all tense. “Whoa, what’s up?” he asks.

Jean Moreau sighs from next to Captain Jeremy, “Not everyone wants to go to college with their family, Jeremy.” Jean says, “Did it not cross your mind that he changed his entire name?” he asks with a raised brow.

Jeremy blinks, “Oh,” he looks at FF, “I guess that wasn’t the right thing to offer.” he says leaning back in his chair.

“I guess I should thank you for offering that?” Nicky says wryly before turning to look at FF, “You look better in orange anyways.” he says.

“Thank you Nicky.” FF returns loyally.

The banquet gets started shortly afterwards. Food is served. The bar is opened. People are talking. FF finds himself relaxing the longer the conversations around him go on. Matt is talking with a backliner on the Trojan line named Todd in good cheer. Captain Neil, Kevin, and Jean are all talking about the latest updates with Ichirou in French with the occasional gesture towards FF. Jean Moreau looks at him with a raised eyebrow but gives him a single nod when Captain Neil explains what happened.

Jeremy is chatting with Jack and even Jack was finding it hard to maintain his usual level of rudeness in the face of such unbridled positive energy. Nicky was talking with Katelyn and Alvarez. Aaron was chatting with a fellow med student college athlete who was an offensive dealer. 

It was shaping up to be a good night.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

[rouge-fox-expanded]

I love Hazbin Hotel, the story, lore and the songs! And like many of us I was drawn to Lucifer like a moth to a flame, which incidentally is what many of us are projecting onto Valentino. Now Hazbin much like Good Omens is taking much of the theology surrounding the old testament to be the point of origin of heaven and hell along with all the old lore from hell. We see this in Helluva Boss a lot with three out of seven of the sins revealed, Beelzebub being the sin of Gluttony, Azmodeus being the sin of Lust and Mammon being the sin of greed with I believe mentions of Satan (wrath), Belphagor (sloth) and Leviathan (Envy) and Lucifer being the apex (Pride).

Now behind every great man there tends to be a great woman, and this seems to be especially true with Lucifer as we have the enigmatic Lilith, the woman that came before Eve. She was made from the same dust as Adam, made to be his equal and yet things didn't go so well, she would leave the garden and be punished (I don't have all the theology but I think she was cursed to give birth to demons or couldn't have children herself) and so eve was made from Adam's rib to be more subservient. Now in terms of Hazbin lore Adam and Lilith were created equal but Adam tried to assert dominance and Lilith wasn't accepting, yeeted out of there and that was the start of her meet cute with Lucifer whom from what we have been told was a bit of a trouble maker, but in the sense of being a creative and imaginative soul who's ideas didn't fit the mould of divinity. This is the first instance of what I love about the show: NUANCE. The angels believe everything is black and white despite the plot and characters proving time and time again that this is not the case, Lucifer from what we have seen of him is blantantly not evil. Lilith on the other hand, well that's where the theories start pouring in.

(warning long theory post)

I will admit I have been using the canon scraps from both the show and the interviews to project an image of Lilith as the Morticia to Lucifer's Gomez and I share Vivzie's head canon that she would be voiced by Lady Gaga. Seeing Lilith and Lucifer as a power couple, disgustingly in love whilst sticking it to heaven and rallying up hell using Charlie's hotel as a form of malicious compliance/lawful defiance would give me so much serotonin. However this is just a theory and imagining based on limited information and holds as much water as the other theories which paint Lilith in a much darker shade. Lilith's screen time in Hazbin hotel is less than two minutes and most of that is flashbacks (one of which is dubious) and she has no spoken lines and no insight into her motives or feelings and given that season 2 is coming at us at 2025 at the earliest the more ravenous of us are already making ideas of what kind of character she is going to be.

Now quite a compelling theory is she could be very similar in attitude and personality to Adam, yes you heard me right. Adam is essentially the poster child for toxic masculinity coated in so much narcissism, the fact that for 90% of the show has him wearing a mask is pretty symbolic of this as it means he never has to worry about anyone seeing him as weak because his mask can literally keep him covered (even if it slips, looking at the court scene in episode six). Now Lilith being similar in personality to Adam would certainly explain why they didn't get along, both thought they were the apex and wanted to be in charge. Whilst Adam is the epitome of toxic masculinity Lilith could very well be the avatar of toxic femininity and yet she is limited by her own humanity and the whims of divinity...until she meets Lucifer, someone whom also has big ideas, a lot of imagination and most crucially doesn't feel like he belongs amongst the other angels. Lilith probably thought God had answered her prayers.

Now I personally don't think Lilith is the defacto villain, that would rather fly in the face of the nuanced take Hazbin shows us. Hell isn't forever and Heaven isn't perfect, it's not black and white and we need to look into the gray but let's assume Lilith and Adam were similar in their extreme personalities, does this mean that Lilith is going to be just as bad as Adam? I would argue not necessarily and the reason for that is consequences. Out of the two, Adam doesn't suffer any consequences until the finale of Hazbin hotel season 1 (or at least none that he seems to be particularly showing asides from some hints at the mention of eve and we haven't even asked about Cain and Abel) but for Lilith...she's been suffering consequences for millennia. Now we go back to the lore of hazbin hotel, according to the info dump Charlie gives us in the beginning Evil is it's own seperate and conscious entity, it's even got a name according to interviews and creator bts talk: Roo. And so heaven keeps evil in it's place by maintaining strict control over creation and life on earth (apparently). In the old stories Adam and Eve get kicked out of Eden because a snake offers Eve an apple telling her that it will grant her knowledge of morality. Incidently in the original bible story the snake is just a snake, no mention of it being lucifer but in the hazbin lore Lilith and Lucifer plan to give the apple to Eve so as to gift humanity free will. NOW, here comes the nuance take: was this the wrong move? Because free will is so intrinsic into human nature that without it are we really human? How could someone be good or bad if they didn't choose those actions and by that logic how could a human be judged through a moral lense if they don't have the capacity to act on morality? Yet by giving Eve the apple and allowing humanity a choice between good and evil, well...this gives evil an opening to root into earth. Black mixes with the white and things become gray, heaven is pissed!

And as a consequence for this reckless act, Lilith and Lucifer are sent to hell, where it's all black. This kills Lucifer's creativity and he becomes depressed, Lilith however makes a comeback and establishes herself as the queen of hell and is able to rally up the demons and because of this amass of a power base, heaven is like 'welp, gotta do something about this' and apparently it was Adam who was like 'how about a cull?'. Adam is rewarded for his aggressive, violent and frankly appalling behavior and yet Lucifer and Lilith face the consequences of their own recklessness. If we are to assume Lilith and Adam started out with equally selfish personalities one got worse from being a winner (as we can see what he's like in season one) whilst we don't know what millennia of being a loser did to Lilith. There is of course one character that's very existence shows the light in Lucifer and potentially Lilith and that is Charlie, because if two fallen souls consigned to the worst place in creation can raise a daughter like Charlie Mornigstar then they can't be all bad right? I mean I would hope that Lilith did indeed love her husband and her daugher, because that's what a lot of those portraits/photos in Lucifer's man cave seem to tell us. Perhaps hell and raising a family taught Lilith some humility and she was able to grow in the way Adam clearly did not, having to face the consequences of a clearly broken system would have certainly shaped her ideas and attitudes but how do we explain her seven year absence? Well that's what Season Two will do (I hope) but as a lot of us aren't prepared to wait until 2025 we've all developed some pretty hot takes based on the limited but compelling information we've been given.

-Lilith has been missing from hell for seven years, the same time Alistor has been missing leading many to believe she is the one that owns his soul (a deal he is desperate to get out of now that he's aware of his own mortality and growing empathy)

-Lilith is in heaven due to a deal with Adam, and now that he's dead (for now) she is expected to go back to hell and bring Lucifer and Charlie into line so as not to threaten the foundations of heaven.

And that's all the canon info we have

That's literally all the solid information we have in regards to Lilith and many have used this to assume she is a shitty mom for just hanging on a beach doing god knows what for seven years whilst Charlie has been trying to carry on her legacy through the hotel and Lucifer's depression reduced him to a forced apathetic shut in.

But of course this is Hazbin and Helluva, and the lore is rich with that sweet grey nuance so calling Lilith a villain seems a little presumptious. I am not saying that is incorrect, but given that the main antagonists of season two are apparently going to be the Vees we can hope that Lilith isn't going to be Adam 2.0 for season two. Now I am going to briefly entertain some other theories before making my pitch for how I see Lilith; in episode 5 we see a flashback of lilith taking Charlie away from Lucifer during the song more than anything, and many eagle eyed viewers pointed out that the silhouette didn't have the same hairline as Lilith in the photos (and later in heaven) which lead them to spectulate Eve might have had a hand to play in this. This is a theory I actually think holds some water primarily because Adam is a fucking idiot, and any deal he would have made with Lilith would have had Sera or one of the other higher seraphim pulling it's strings. Adam isn't a schemer, but the other archangels well they know how powerful Lucifer is so keeping him contained and harmless would certainly be on their agenda and having Eve playing Lilith to keep him and Charlie from building each other up would certainly be a tactial move. And let's face it if they were able to kick him out of heaven and cast him into hell then wrecking his marriage wouldn't be that big of a deal for them. But then where does Lilith fit into this picture? We know that Lucifer negotiated that only the sinners could be killed during the exterminations, now would heaven grant him this simply to keep him placid or would he need to offer something in exchange? Maybe Heaven accepted this deal at first but Lilith continued to resist so they were like 'okay, how about this? You get to come back to heaven and stop all this resist and rebel shit?' and the stick to that carrot was 'it's either this or we go after hellborns too', and not prepared to face those consequences Lilith obeyed

Heaven has already crushed Lucifer's spirit, it took them longer to deal with Lilith but getting her in heaven and away from her family certainly solved the problem of resistance and with the exterminations keeping sinners in check everything became routine...until Charlie was like 'erm, redemption?' well that and the fact one of the overlords accidentally killed an exorcist (something Adam and Lute took personally). Now Lilith being in heaven actually affords her a few advantages that being in hell does not, because if it becomes public knowledge she is there then Heaven is gonna have several huge problems so her silence is not just golden but MANDATORY. If Lucifer knows she is in heaven this could explain how he was able to get Charlie that meeting, that kind of knowledge can certainly open doors and Lilith being close behind enemy lines would be privy to a fair bit of knowledge assuming she had any long term plans or schemes. And any of those schemes would certainly be helped by the current state of events at the end of season 1, Adam is dead (and potentially a sinner man in hell), the exorcisms have been made public to heaven, redemption works as proven by Sir Pentious getting a divine promotion and Lucifer is proactively supporting the Hazbin Hotel. The corrupt system that punished her and her family again and again has just suffered some massive pushback, the divine order is unsteady and there is confusion and more importantly: opportunity. And Lilith isn't like Adam, she's had to deal with consequences since the apple was given to Eve, she has had to grow, adapt and take all the shit that was thrown at her and deal with heaven's shit for a long time. It could certainly have made her a better person, or a worse one but I bet you it has made her pissed. And now Lute is sending her home to clean up the mess they made? That doesn't just sound like a spectacular mistake, but a damn good story.

So like the rest of us, I cannot wait to see Lilith in season 2. Maybe she will be a villain, maybe she won't be but I am betting she is going to be spectacular, I have faith in Vivziepop and I believe in Hazbin Hotel. And if she is voiced by Lady Gaga and does a duet with Jeremy Jordon I am going to sqee so hard the neighbours dogs will think it's an attack.

[salarta]

Now that I've been banned over a tame joke on CBR, I might be making more posts over here on Tumblr. This is one such post.

I usually, deliberately, do not post stuff about the current X-Factor book. Why? Because it's trash. And the current X-Men senior editor, Tom Brevoort, has previously said that he thinks being a colossal asshole is "good for business" because it gets people talking.

Of course, that's just him trying to make excuses for being an asshole, just like he tried to make excuses for why Polaris "couldn't" be Magneto's daughter. But I digress.

The reason I'm bringing it up now, though, is pretty simple.

He fucked up. Hard. And not only does he know it, but he's trying to change the subject away from his fuckup.

This past Wednesday, Marvel released X-Factor #2. If you're going to read it, do so by pirating. Or not at all. Because any purchase for any reason gives the false impression that they should keep doing what they're doing.

In this week's issue, the "Polaris" in the story wasn't just bad. Wasn't just 90s nostalgia bad. It was the most blatant display of nostalgia for regressive sexism toward Lorna in decades. It was bad enough that it would've skated on thin ice even before Lorna surviving the Genoshan genocide.

The basic summary of all I've seen is this.

Story forces Havok x Polaris trash just because of nostalgia. Lorna acts all submissive and needy around Havok, like she desperately wants his approval and involvement in her life. Havok comes with her to a Mutant Underground meeting, but only to spy on them, and Lorna somehow (brain worms tiem) doesn't notice he's wearing a button cam. Despite, you know. Her powers.

For some reason, and by some reason I mean "nostalgia for an attitude that Lorna is a nobody character," Lorna is just a rando in the Mutant Underground surrounded by other randos. Even though she's a survivor of the Genoshan genocide, and had trashed Orchis' space station basically days prior in comics time, she's treated as just a random nobody in the group. And when Mutant Underground realized Havok was wearing a camera, they took Lorna hostage - without a fight from her - with implication that they might kill her due to his actions.

.............

If you're wondering how it makes sense, it doesn't. This isn't Lorna. It's Brevoort's shitty fanfic idea of Lorna as a nobody character whose only value is to promote his favorite straight cis Aryan male, Havok.

Obviously, because we're not living in the sexist late 60s and 70s, this treatment of her has been universally panned. Even by people who want to support the book. The few people trying to defend it, do so under the guise of "lol it's a parody so it's perfectly fine," but that shit's been getting shut down fast by pointing out that parody isn't an excuse for some things. Like this.

This is where the biggest reason for my post comes in.

Yesterday, literally one day after releasing X-Factor #2, Marvel used their favorite sycophant fan site to release an "exclusive preview" of X-Factor #3... a whole ass month in advance. Unlike the last two previews that emphasized Havolaris shit, this preview didn't include the Havolaris shit. It focused on Havok and Friends.

Anyone who can read between the lines on this stuff can recognize what it means when a company rushes to release brand new teaser stuff for the next issue immediately after releasing the current one. From a marketing and buzz standpoint, if your work doesn't suck, you want to give audiences time to digest. You want them to think it through, build it up with word of mouth, convince other people to buy into the book and be on the lookout for new things before you put out a teaser. And you wait until later to publish the teaser so it's fresh in minds to go out and buy it.

Rushing out the next preview means they're desperate to change the subject with what's on hand. They can't radically change the next issue (maybe the next few) in response to criticism and complaints because they're too far along in the publishing pipeline.

They, especially Brevoort, also don't want to admit they made a mistake. Because at the end of the day? Treating Lorna like shit off of sexist nostalgia is what they want. They want people to accept it and let it pass, because they think that unlike Storm, Jean Grey, Emma Frost, etc, that they can get away with being sexist fucks about how they depict Lorna.

So with changing the next issues not an option, and offering up an apology and admitting any kind of fault isn't an option, there's only one real recourse they have.

Releasing shit stupid early and hoping people will change the subject so they can get away with the sexism.

The current X-Factor book is shit. It's based heavily on one man's sexist fantasies for a time decades too old for today. Keep that in mind when you see this stuff.

For my money's worth, this isn't even Lorna. I refuse to recognize this character as being Lorna, because it's blatant that the intent behind it isn't to acknowledge Lorna or her fandom and do right by the character. There's no actual Lorna in this. Therefore it's not Lorna. If you're jonesing for a Lorna fix, read a fanfic, because fanfics are more accurate than what Marvel's publishing.

[natrogersfics]

Article created by @teamromanoff for this 'verse years back! Read on AO3 Steve knows that there are not many things in this world that can leave Tony Stark and Pepper Potts slack-jawed. In terms of all things ridiculous, the couple has seen it all – Tony for being, well, Tony, and Pepper by having to put up with Tony for all these years. And yet, as he and Natasha stand behind the bar after informing them of the truth about their relationship, they find the usually eloquent pair rendered speechless.

The discussion of whether to let them in on their lie had not been a short one. On one hand, the smaller the circle of people who know, the less chance of a slip up there is – not that he and Natasha think that Tony or Pepper would go babbling to the press. They trust them implicitly, and if there’s ever a pair who understood the importance of concealing details about their lives to the press, it’s them. But if things go South, they don’t want to risk implicating their friends. Ultimately, though, the fact that they are some of their oldest friends trumped all the other reasons that had come about. They’re already keeping his actual family in the dark; the family they had chosen did not have to be subjected to the same treatment.

“Let me get this straight,” Tony says, shifting in his bar stool. “You’re telling us that this” – he gestures between them both – “isn’t real? Like, at all?”

His eyes widen at the volume at which Tony says the words, and despite there being an hour left before opening, like a reflex, he and Natasha let their eyes roam around the room to check for any unwanted attention the man may have garnered.

“Will you keep your voice down?” Natasha hisses at Tony. “We have employees in the back.” She gives their surroundings another once-over, and satisfied that no one had heard Tony’s outburst, she looks back at both him and Pepper. “And you two saw us just last week. We weren’t even together, much less engaged. How could you think this was real?”

“I don’t know,” Tony says, his expression twisting as if he’s only now considering the idea. “You two are always joined at the hip. We assumed that at one point the bulb would just go on.” He shrugs. “I never would have put money on you two playing 90 Day Fiancè- ow!”

“What Tony means,” Pepper says, looking at both of them as Tony winces next to her, “is that you two were very convincing. When Sarah announced your engagement, we didn’t have any reason to believe it wasn’t true.”

“Right,” Tony says, pulling out his phone. “Were we really supposed to think this was all fake?”

Steve looks at the picture on screen of him and Natasha on stage with his family before rolling his eyes. “For the hundredth time, yes.”

“What about this?” Tony says, swiping to show the picture of them kissing at the lobby of Cipriani’s on the front page of the NY Star. “And this?” Tony swipes again, moving to the picture of Natasha’s head on his shoulder at the Knicks game they attended with Thor and his wife, Jane. “And this?” The final image is of him and Natasha as they grabbed coffee on their way to do inventory this morning, and if he hadn’t already been jaded by how ruthless photographers could be when it comes to disregarding people’s privacy, he might have rolled his eyes at how quickly they’d gotten their picture circulating on the Internet.

He sighs. “All an act, Tony.”

“Well, shit,” Tony says before zooming in on the picture of Natasha’s engagement ring. “I mean, this looks really real. And expensive.” With a swipe of his finger, the screen shifts back to a gallery of their pictures on the NY Star website. “And these all look really real.”

“Tony, if you believe half the things they print in tabloids, then you’d have married half of Manhattan by now,” Natasha says.

Pepper smirks. “This is true.”

As Tony and Natasha continue to trade jabs, Steve stares back at the phone Tony is still holding out. There’s a part of him that has to admit that their friend isn’t wrong. He and Natasha do look like a couple, and truth be told, ever since the night they had taken their ruse public, every time they’ve had to act has just become easier and easier. But that’s the benefit of having been friends with someone for so long, he reminds himself. Their familiarity with one another has made it so that their learning curve in this has been practically nonexistent, and that’s precisely why Natasha’s the perfect partner in this ruse.

“So how long do you two plan on keeping this up?” Pepper questions, and if he’s honest, it’s the first sensible inquiry they’ve gotten since they revealed the truth.

He turns to Natasha for confirmation before looking back at Pepper. “Just until the deal closes with the Odinsons.”

“Then I look forward to your next performance as Mr. and Mrs. Rogers at the Odinson charity event tomorrow,” Tony says, whose smirk is wiped clean by the glare Pepper shoots his way.

“Well, if our reactions are anything to go by, obviously you two are playing this exceptionally well,” Pepper says. “But just be careful, all right? There are a lot of vultures out there.”

Steve sighs. “Don’t worry, we’re keeping an eye out for the media.”

“Among other things,” Pepper notes, reaching to take a sip of her water. “Anyway, and now for the other reason we wanted to come see you two.” She steals a glance at Tony before smiling. “We have some news.”

It’s slow for a Wednesday night, and with only a handful of patrons finishing up their drinks, Steve makes his way over to where Wanda is standing, her attention on the tablet resting on the surface of the bar. “Not to sound like a grandpa here, but… reading under these lights will do a number on your eyesight.”

Wanda looks up, her expression sheepish. “Sorry,” she says, flipping the cover over the screen. “It’s just with finals-”

“Wanda,” he interrupts with a chuckle before she can continue. “I was just kidding. Well, maybe not entirely about the eyesight thing.” He shrugs as Wanda rolls her eyes playfully at him. “You should take off. Study in proper lighting.”

“Thank you, Steve,” Wanda says, shaking her head. “But no. You and Nat have already been so understanding lately. I couldn’t do that.”

“We weren’t asking,” Natasha says, a smirk on her face as she comes to stand next to him. “It’s the middle of the week. I doubt any more people are coming in. Go.” She cranes her neck towards the direction of the sink at the end before calling out, “You too, Pete!”

“Thanks, guys!” Peter calls out.

“Be safe, kid,” he says, smiling as Peter gives them a thumbs up, before turning his attention back to Wanda. “See, leaving is that easy.”

Wanda looks at him and then at Natasha, who crosses her arms over her chest, before letting out a sigh. “Okay, fine,” she says, her smile full of gratitude. “You two are the best. Thank you.”

Natasha smiles. “Go.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” Wanda says, placing her hands up.

He and Natasha wave to Wanda as she exits, and as soon as the door closes behind their bartender, Natasha makes her way towards the end where Peter had left a batch of freshly washed crystal tumblers. As she takes one in her hand and a dish cloth in the other, he moves to stand next to her. “Do you think we have to let them know too?”

“I thought about it,” Natasha admits with a sigh. “I hate the idea of keeping things from Wanda and Peter, but at the same time, I don’t want to involve them if they don’t have to be.”

“I guess you’re right,” he says before adding, “I doubt they read the tabloids and society pages anyway.”

“No one below the Upper East Side does,” she confers. “Plus, it’d be nice to have a space where we don’t have to pretend, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” he says, the corners of his lips lifting in a smile. “I think that’s a great idea.” As far as safe havens go, the Soldier & Spy is very much it for them both. It’s taken their blood, sweat, and tears to get their business to where it is today, but it’s the one place they’ve both found happiness in after a long list of unfulfilling careers. “So…” he begins after a beat. “Tony Stark, a father.”

Natasha smirks, but does not take her eyes away from the glass she’s working on. “I honestly thought I’d be more surprised,” she says. “But now that I’ve had some time to think about it, it’s not all that shocking.”

“Yeah?” he prods, turning to look her way.

“Yeah,” she confirms. “If you only knew Tony from what you read about him, then yeah, I guess you’d be floored.” She shrugs. “But we don’t, and we know that underneath all the snide comments and witty comebacks” – she pauses as they share a laugh – “he cares fiercely for the people he loves.” She turns to look at him, a little smile playing on her lips. “I think he’ll make an excellent father.”

“The best,” he says, mirroring her smile. “He and Pepper are one hell of a duo. That baby is going to be so lucky.”

“Speaking of babies, though,” she says, setting the towel on the counter before nodding towards the booth in the corner. “You might want to break that up before those two start making one on our freshly cleaned upholstery.”

He looks to where a young couple is practically draped over each other before chuckling. “Ah, to be young…”

“And out for some action,” she finishes, eliciting a laugh from him.

“Is that why you’re leaving early and making me serve as human contraception?” he asks, watching as she puts the towel down and smirking when she narrows his eyes at him. “What? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Nat.”

“First of all, I’m not ashamed,” she says. “And second, do you really think I’d do that while” – she gestures between the two of them – “this is going on?”

“I wouldn’t either, by the way,” he interjects.

She rolls her eyes, as if that’s the most obvious fact in the world. “Besides…” she says after a beat. “Even if I did go out looking, it’s been too long since…” She cocks her head towards the booth once more before chuckling. “Anyway, I probably don’t even remember what to do.” Maybe it’s the blank stare he gives her or the silence that lingers between them for a millisecond too long, but either way, she scoffs. “You look surprised.”

“No,” he says quickly, even though that’s not completely the truth. “I mean, I obviously wouldn’t have dragged you into, you know… if I thought that you… But at the same time, I didn’t want to assume-”

“I’m here all the time,” she says almost incredulously, the corners of her lips quirking. “Where could I have possibly found the time to-”

“I don’t know!” he says, amusement thick in his voice as he scratches the back of his head. “Plus, it’s hardly any of my business.” He shrugs. “But hey, for what it’s worth, I heard it’s just like riding a bike.”

“You heard or you know?” she challenges, raising a brow.

This time, he’s the one that scoffs. “I’m here all the time!”

She just shrugs, earning yet another scoff from him. “Wait,” she says, a glint in her eye as she steps closer to him, leaning in as if to let him in on some dirty little secret. “So, you and Peggy… you two aren’t…”

“Natasha,” he says exasperatedly. “For Christ’s sake, not you, too.”

She puts her hands up in the air. “It’s hardly any of my business.”

He rolls his eyes. “No, okay,” he says, shaking his head. “No, it’s not like that with Peggy. It never has been. Okay?”

“Okay,” she says in concession, letting a moment pass before letting out a sigh. “So I guess we’re just a couple of lame bar owners, huh?”

“The lamest,” he agrees, tipping his chin upward.

She smiles. “Anyway, I should get going.”

“Since we’re in a sharing mood,” he says, watching as she picks up her purse and slings it over her shoulder. “Where are you going?”

“Haven’t you heard?” she asks, causing his brows to rise in intrigue. “We have to leave some mystery in the relationship to keep it hot and spicy.”

He scoffs for the nth time as she giggles and leans in to press a kiss to his cheek. “Get out of here,” he says, shaking his head when she only looks back to stick her tongue out at him. Masterlist

[lunas-otome-blog]

Luna's Review: Piofiore ~Fated Memories~

Official Summary:

Liliana Adornato was born and raised in the church in the center of the Italian town of Burlone. Three criminal organizations control parts of the city, and Lili discovers that she is literally in the center of their turf wars.

Her encounters with the leaders of the Falzone, Visconti, and Lao-Shu mafia lead to danger and distraction. Once Lili is drawn into the shadowy world of crime Families, she realizes there is no going back.

Luna's Thoughts (Spoiler Free)

Despite all the hype surrounding this game, I was disappointed with Piofiore. Marred with cringey dialogue and terrible pacing, it was a slog to get through with little payoff. While I did like the art and a few key parts of the plot, those are about the only compliments I can give this game.

Rather than focus on the dark underbelly of the mafia, most of this game is set in the eye of the tornado as MC Liliana Adornato is swept into the world of organized crime. There are definitely some scenes of violence, but mostly it's Lili hanging out in bedrooms, kitchens and hotels as the mafia does things off screen.

The game does show you what's happening outside while Lili is at home in little semi-optional cutscenes, but these are weirdly positioned at the end of main scenes and then throw you back to the main scene, making for awful pacing. Why not just make these regular cutscenes? Why break up important main game scenes just to show you six lines of dialogue somewhere else and then go back once you've forgotten what's going on?

On most routes, protagonist Lili fails to serve as anything more than an ornamental butterfly to the powerful men around her. The routes are literally differentiated by which character kidnaps her. Her personality is inconsistent, as she shuns violence and murder but makes exceptions for the men who promise to protect her. She rarely questions her role and, in some routes, seems fine without any sort of explanation for what's going on. I had no idea what her morals were supposed to be and it felt lazy that she didn't have more questions.

As you've probably figured out by now, I did not like Piofiore. For a dark, gritty crime-based otome that's actually enjoyable to play, check out Collar x Malice.

If you're interested in hearing route specifics, please find below my thoughts on the routes in the order I played them. Spoilers abound.

.

Nicola Route (Spoilers)

The general gist of Nicola's route is that he takes in Lili as she's about to be kidnapped by the Chinese mafia. She becomes a glorified house wife, endearing herself to the other members of the Falzone family through cooking, cleaning and generally being the only eye candy in the house.

The most irritating thing about this route for me is that Liliana has zero personality and asks absolutely no questions. We're just kept in the dark for like 90% of the route as to why she's even there, and she's seemingly unconcerned because Nicola is nice to her.

Lili continues to insist that Nicola is a kind person because he treats her well, personally, even though she watches him slice someone's ear off. Like, I get this game is about falling in love with the mafia, but at least make her more conflicted. Instead, she imprints on Nicola immediately and defends everything he does without question.

When Nicola betrays the Falzone family, it's supposed to be shocking and lead up to a big reveal that *gasp* he was doing it for a good reason. However, it never feels surprising because everyone in the Falzone family, along with Lili, has faith in Nicola.

Usually I like the nice boy route, but Nicola just wasn't a very good fit for that role. Instead of a "nice boy outside, cruel man inside" dichotomy, we get this character who insists he isn't as kind as we think he is, but fails to do anything to bring his kindness into question. Even when he's torturing someone, he looks for an excuse not to kill them. I didn't understand what sort of character Nicola was supposed to be.

This route is pretty short and leaves a lot of questions to be answered. I know the non-true end routes aren't supposed to wrap everything up, but not having Nicola answer questions that he knows the answer to, just to keep players in suspense, is bad writing. For example, Lili never bothers to ask why she specifically was protected by the Falzones, which is something we learn in other routes.

I'm glad Nicola's was the first route I played, because it was pretty boring.

.

Dante Route (Spoilers)

Dante's route starts much like Nicola's route, except this time it's Dante who saves Lili and brings her to the Falzone mansion.

Lili has more personality at the start of this route, maybe because Dante is cold to her. She actively seeks information and even attempts to escape when she realizes she can't go back to the church. But she eventually lapses into the same routine as in Nicola's route, laying low, cooking and cleaning. Dante, who is supposed to be a perfect gentleman, offers nothing by way of helping Lili cook or clean, even when he's moved her to a tiny hideout where they hide together.

The second half of the route was actually somewhat interesting. We learn about a church "artifact" that the Falzones are sworn to protect, and Lili serves as part of the key for, but of course, Lili never bothers to ask what it is because of bad writing.

We do get to find out, eventually, and I was actually pretty impressed, as the artifact implies the Church has been lying for millennia. Of course, this goes nowhere and has no lasting impact on Lili's belief . That would be asking too much, I suppose.

While I liked Dante's route more than Nicola's, I was still pretty unimpressed. Lili's role was yet again reduced to someone who needed to be protected. Her "power" is unlocked only after sleeping with Dante (virginity as a tool — yuck) and she contributes very little otherwise.

Information-wise, this should have been the final route, as it's the only one, even including the finale, where the "key maiden" and church artifact stuff is actually explained. But it wasn't given the true end treatment as it should have, and the result is a lackluster route with a few explosive moments.

.

Orlok Route (Spoilers)

Orlok is the kuudere character of the game, but he doesn't take much time to warm up to Lili. In fact, he seems to like her right away, but keeps himself at arm's length because it's his job to protect her, not befriend her. He was my favorite character.

The pacing of this route was better than the previous two, because Lili is constantly moving between the Lao-Shu hideout and the church. Even though she's doing the same stuff she did at the Falzone hideout, it feels a lot better here because she's going home and helping her family, rather than serving as a housewife to the mafia guys who kidnapped her.

Orlok's is the first route where the romance makes sense. Orlok likes Lili's passion and strength, and Lili thinks Orlok is cute because he's easy to read. She also wants to nurture him because he's not very kind to himself. Orlok is also the only character who bothers to help her with chores, buying groceries and learning how to cook from her.

There are a few rushed bits here and there, particularly with a child Lili and Orlok take in, but this route was actually pretty solid otherwise.

What really impressed me about this route is how it's the only one (aside from the finale) in which Lili really reflects on the morals of murder. Orlok, being a devotee of the church, doesn't like or want to kill people, but has done it his whole life because he was following orders. Lili asks him to stop, and he does to a degree, but eventually he acknowledges he has to kill in order for him and Lili to be together. Lili, remarkably, actually agrees with him, and after it's all over, they both live in service of the church, repenting for the rest of their lives.

It was a really nice acknowledgement that killing is wrong but they can do more for the world while alive.

.

Yang Route (Spoilers)

This route is hard to place for me. On the one hand, Lili is at her best here. She questions everything (for once) but must strategize how to behave and speak in front of Yang to avoid being sliced in half. The twins, Fei and Lan, are properly introduced in this route, and walk a nice balance between batshit crazy mafia kids and youthful friends for Lili. And the pacing is decent, other than the usual terribly-placed meanwhile scenes.

The biggest problem, however, is Yang himself. This route is full of casual sexual harassment. In the beginning, Lili literally must choose whether to let him rape her or not. And we're supposed to believe she's fallen for him because he gave her a stuffed panda. Yuck.

Yang is a bad person. He says it. Lili even directly calls him a horrible person. He sells drugs that make people dependent on them and then kills those people as they rot in the streets. And the narrative would have you believe he's not that bad, because he's not the one getting them addicted, and he's actually killing them so they don't suffer?? He also LITERALLY sells young women to overseas clientele???

The amount of cognitive dissonance needed to be happy with this route is insane. Not to mention we get zero backstory on why Yang is the way he is. It also reads as kind of racist, because the Lao-Shu are the only mafia brabcg that seems to be truly evil.

Yang's route plays out more as Stockholm Syndrome than romance. His jealousy towards Lili, which could have been used as a moment of vulnerability, instead comes across as intense anger. There is nothing charming about this character.

I weirdly do think it was one of the better routes, if only for the pacing, but I could not get behind this suitor at all. Even Lili literally says she doesn't know why she likes him. It's like they just gave up on writing a decent romance and just hoped the players would like Yang enough to buy into it. For me, it's a huge failure. Fuck this guy.

.

Gilbert Route (Spoilers)

Based on how little interaction you get with Gilbert in the other routes, I was surprised that this one is intended to be played last. But you can't access it until you play the other four, so that's how it's meant to be, I guess.

Gil is charming in a way the others are not. He's boisterous, generous and kind, and you get the sense he's being nice to Lili because he wants to be, not out of some weird obligation like Nicola. He's pretty much the only love interest who doesn't just kill people who get in his way. He seems to really care about his part of town and everyone likes him rather than fears him.

This was my second favorite route in the game, although I did think it was weird to put it last. Plotwise, it falls flat, as Gil is framed for a counterfeit money operation. The whole ordeal seemed considerably less important than what was going on in Dante and Orlok's routes.

But it doesn't feel that way while playing, as this route involves a full-scale investigation and all three mafia families working together. Lili is great here, contributing in important conversations and actually participating in the investigation. Gil's attraction to her — and vice versa — feels natural.

There was a trial scene with absolutely no consequence, and the entire end to this route seemed to largely be a setup for the "finale" route that comes next. But otherwise, this was probably the most solid route in the game.

.

Finale Route (Spoilers)

No picture here, but you'll know who it's about based on after Gil's route. Or just by looking at the cover of the game.

This route starts off very weirdly, because the first couple of chapters are just a slightly extended version of Gilbert's route. The save screen actually says "Gilbert" for a while, so it seems like you're just replaying that route. I had to use a guide to make sure I was doing the right stuff.

The finale largely follows the same plot as Gilbert's route, with Gil falsely arrested for a counterfeit money scheme, but this time with added slights against all other mafia branches. Everyone must work together to bring down the enemy. Meanwhile, Lili deals with a mysterious suitor, who is bent on revenge for the death of his sister.

While I think the ending was a little abrupt, and perhaps too similar to Orlok's ending, I did like how Lily addressed the culprit, telling him he can do more for the world by living to help others, rather than kill himself as he'd planned.

I didn't love how Lili just runs away though. It felt out of character for someone who constantly yearned for her home in the church to sacrifice herself to help heal a murderer at the expense of abandoning her life, friends and family.

I felt the finale was a reasonably fitting end for this game. Unfortunately, it didn't make up for the slog I had to wade through to get there.

[animutate]

please be autistic about picos school in paragraphs!! i need to learn more but i dont wanna do a bunch of research 😞

OK OK. im going to take this as an opportunity to explain it all like im talking to someone who has no idea what it is. big wall of text ahead.

picos school is a 1999 flash game by tom fulp created for and distributed on his website newgrounds.com. it was created as apart of a series of games on newgrounds parodying childrens pc edutainment games of the time, but that part was kind of dropped for pico which is sad because i really enjoy it. pico is also heavily inspired by the columbine highshool massacre as it was released just 3 months after it occurred and like the media surrounding it as well as hate mail newgrounds was getting blaming it and all violent video games for causing real world violence like columbine. before that picos game was originally going to be about whatever this mockup means. shitting outside a church.

also interesting is an email sent to tom prior to the creation of picos school by someone who apparently knew eric harris.

the plot is about a 13 year old goth canonically transfem evil shapeshifting alien wannabe dictator named cassandra along with a group of violence obsessed posers shooting up your school as the first step in taking over the world. you play as pico and its up to you to kill them all and like save the school. its basically about every stereotype or misconception about columbine you can think of kmfdm is even namedropped at the beginning. now that i think about it love conquers all the 2021 april fools version of the game where everyone is gay and cassandra doesnt go through with the shooting and they talk it all out goes with the "one of them was the evil one and one of them was just a follower" narrative unintentionally with hanzou.

theres a lot to be said about the insensitivity of picos school especially with how it used a real recent at the time school shooting for shock value and especially with the character nene which is like a WHOLE other thing im not getting into namely because im not asian so its only really my place to speak on it. but pico is very very bad and calling it "a product of its time" really minimizes any issues it has and you can be a fan and still recognize that there are a lot of problems with it.

picos was really controversial for the time to the point that picos school got one million page views in 1999 which is CRAZY for an independent website in the 1990s. i am of the opinion that the popularity of picos school is what really got newgrounds out there and why its still around today and also why it survived the dot com bubble crash in 2000. but i dont have any evidence for that.

pico to me is really like... a cultural icon of the early internet. he captures the attitude and the feeling of early newgrounds so well its something i really love about him. he is the perfect embodiment of the late 90s angsty teenage computer geek. i also like how open source pico the character feels as in how tom fulp said he is "the peoples character to do whatever you want with". he has a personality and set traits but he really is whatever you want him to be and what people wanted him to be is a cool matrix style angsty teenage assassin and i think thats so fun!!! i love that pico is a reflection of the average newgrounds user at whatever given time. i love pico a lot he means a lot to me as like my biggest special interest going on 4 years hes gotten me through a lot. pico is so special to me despite everything wrong with picos school I DONT CARE.

anyway this is getting long idk where im going with this or if anything i said really makes sense. i just really love talking about picos school i love pico

[theechotrain]

I wander around the large room, half heartedly looking at each different pile of vinyls, CDs and DVDs, not really paying attention to any of them; Even when I take a few moments to flick through the occasional heap, there is nothing that I'd be willing to pick up a second time. To this day, I never really understand why you'd want to waste a perfectly good CD to put some music on it. That IS what vinyls are for, after all.

Normally, I wouldn't be in an old music selling shop like this. After all, I have nothing back at home that I could play any of these things on even if I did want to buy something. That has more to do with the fact that I can always go looking up what I want to listen to, instead of having a physical copy of my music that has to be kept in cases when not being listened to so that it is kept safe. The only reason I am here at all is for my best friend.

My cbildhood best friend, Rory Culkin, is currently in a completely different area of the shop and is still staring down into a box in front of him; Exactly how he was a few minutes ago when I left him looking through the same section of vinyls that has some of his favourite artists stashed in between the albums of people neither of us have heard of.

Seeing Rory looking like he is spacing out while he is reading the back of the vinyl cover in his hands is something that I don't think will ever get old for me. He seems so at peace when he is in a place like this. Over the course of our friendship have we come to some sort of compromise when it comes to places we want to go to with each other when we hang out. Old shops filled with music from from the 70s to the 90s is one of the places he brings me. As much as I don't really like the places themselves, they become more bearable to be in when I get to see him like this.

He finishes reading the back of the vinyl before a smile spreads itself over his face and he turns his head to look through the surrounding towers of different types of music for me. Our eyes meet and for a second, everything stops. Through this brief connection, I once again have a brief mental flash of there being more between us. A future, maybe. More, perhaps.

The image, like always, goes just as quick as it comes as he makes his way over, the vinyl he had read still in his hands. He closes the distance between us and is standing before me, almost grinning with that gentle smile of his.

"I've found it. I've found that vinyl I was telling you about the other week. This is what I am going to have playing when I propose to Samantha."

In this moment, my stomach almost folds in on itself. Samantha isn't typically easy to forget but until he said that, I forgot she existed for a short while. But being reminded of her isn't what felt so suddenly stomach churning. He wants to propose to her... He wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

A smile forces its way onto my face, despite its unwelcome appearance as I force myself to look down at the vinyl he is showing me, which is of smooth jazz from '75.

"Well, you should go get it then so you don't end up having to find it a second time."

He smiles down at me, not seeming to pick up on how I have shifted in moods. I look away from him as he makes his way over to the counter with it, choosing to look out of the window instead.

I can't believe it... he's going to propose to her. After them being in a relationship for the last 4 years, he's actually going to ask her to go all the way and marry him. Something inside me stings deep at the thought of it. Could I stand being able to be around him, simply as just his best friend anymore if she says yes? I'm struggling to do it now, with them simply dating.

I don't think I could stand being in Rory's life anymore if I haven't started moving on as soon as possible. I don't want to loose him as my best friend but I can't continue to love him romantically like this, especially when he could be someone else's fiancé at some point in the near future.

An idea comes to mind and I pull my phone out to text someone I met in college.

'Hey, want to go drinking this Saturday?'

I wait for a reply as Rory makes his way back over to me, the vinyl in a plastic bag and we make our way out the door. It's an hour or so later before I get a response.

'As in as a small group or just us going on some sort of date?'

'It's a date'

'Then yeah, I'll see you Saturday'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday comes by and my friend and I are sat at the bar, both several drinks in and the conversation babbling on from one topic to the next. Any thoughts of Rory and what he has planned have completely slipped my mind. The empty glasses clutter our table, periodically being taken away by the occasional member of staff. I haven't been able to have a conversation where I've laughed like this for a few weeks now.

The sound of music coming from the already quite full dance floor draws our attention over to it and we exchange a glance between us, almost silently asking each other the same question. I roll my eyes ever so slightly, smirking a little before grabbing his hand and guiding him over to the group of dancers.

I wrap my arms around him, my head on his chest as he curls his own arms around me, pulling me close as we start swaying to the slow, romantic music playing in the background. Several minutes go by before the song finishes and we pull apart again, making our way back to our table and our conversation.

Before we are able to fully go back to speaking like how we were before we danced together, the sight of a familiar face can be seen approaching the pair of us out of the corner of my eye. I turn to fully make sure that I am seeing who I think it is and it is. My friend follows my line of sight as Rory is approaching the pair of us, his face stained with tears. He pulls up a chair next to me, speaking just to me instead of the pair of us.

"I proposed to Samantha... She admitted to cheating on me... We've split up and she's moving out of my house."

I look back at the expressions on my best friend's face as he says this, every part of me wanting to dry his tears. Instead, I put my hand on his shoulder and rub my hand over it.

"There there Rory..."

My friend looks between us as the moment we were having just moments before has broken.

**************

Sorry if this is a bit shit, haven't written anything in a while and didn't know what else to write

[kamari333]

Longpost About Dream's House #1

With An Anthology of Dreams now complete, I get to yell a lot about the maps of Dream's House!

Spoilers for the fic if you haven't read it yet!

CW for Imperial measurements- I'm USAmerican and all my houses are measured in feet.

So we need to start at the beginning, with the original little cottage that Ink makes for Sci and Dream:

The original house is two stories, each one 53x30 feet (so 1590 sq ft), for a total of 3180 sq ft.

The first floor includes:

a livingroom (21x18 ft or 378 sq ft) that you enter from the front door

a bedroom for guests (17x9 ft or 153 sq ft)

a bathroom (which is also 17x9 ft or 153 sq ft)

a back room i call the foyer that the back door leaves from (16x10 ft or 160 sq ft)

a playroom (22x10 ft + a little extra 12x2, or 220 +24 extra sq ft)

a kitchen (15x20 ft or 300 sq ft)

a nice walk-in pantry (15x10 ft or 150 sq ft)

The second floor that you can reach from a staircase in the livingroom. The stairs are 2ft wide and 10ft long from the first to last step, but I have no idea what the height is. On the second floor we see:

3 bedrooms that are 11x10 ft (110 sq ft each; 330 sq ft total)

3 bedrooms that are 12x10 ft (120 sq ft each; 360 sq ft total)

an attic room that is 21x5 ft (105 sq ft)

It's not a mansion by any means, but it's pretty roomy for what was intended to be two people. This is probably the least unhinged thing Ink does in the entire fic: a perfectly reasonable little house, with maybe a bit more space than they strictly needed.

This is the house that Dream grows up in, starting at age 6 (notably celebrating his 7th birthday in it). On his 7th birthday they put a chicken coop in the pantry, and otherwise it stays like this for between three and four years.

Renovation #1

The first renovation happens when Dream is 10 years old, and it's a fairly minor one.

We have a basement now! It's Sci's Lab! Let's look at the features:

a staircase that is 10ft long from first to last step, and each step is 2ft wide

stairs take you down into an open room outside the lab itself, 12x14ft (168 sq ft)

the lab itself is 20x16 ft (320 sq ft)

two extensions to the lab, each 6x7 ft (42 sq ft)

This brings the basement to a total size of 572 sq ft.

Now, this is is all well and good. A fairly roomy workplace and sanctum for Sci to go down to and keep his experiments.

The 2nd floor has an expansion, 15x6 ft (90 sq ft) added to the end of the hall by Sci's room. 10x2 ft (20 sq ft) of that is taken up by the staircase that connects that space to the basement with Sci's lab.

This brings the house's total size to... 3842 sq ft.

It looks perfectly normal right?

Except.

That orange staircase, which connects Sci's lab to the 2nd floor, is the exact same size as the yellow staircase that connects the 2nd floor and the 1st floor.

Ink has, with this singular, innocuous gesture of helpfulness, completely distorted the space of the house, at least right there in that stairwell. We now have space that does not behave like normal space, and whether this is an inherent attribute of the Antivoid that Ink is exploiting, or an attribute of Ink's creations, we cannot definitively say with just this data alone.

It only gets more unhinged from here.

Now, for the first couple years of Dream's life here, Ink brings in new roommates about once a year or so.

Now, when Dream is 13, he himself makes a yard outside the house. The house, which was originally just sitting in the white of the Antivoid, changes to be surrounded by a limited area of yard. We see that the outside of the house, other than the addition of yard, has not changed despite the additional extension made on the 2nd Floor. Then Dream turn's 14, and he starts going out to find new people himself, starting with Hiphop in chapter 16.

Renovation #2

Then we have Renovation #2, which happens 6 months after Hiphop arrives (Dream's is still 14). Ink does this renovation too, and it's a tad bit bigger than the last one.

In Renovation #2, we get another whole ass floor! Let's look at this new floor:

essentially has two wings

The 1st Wing is 47x70 ft (3290 sq ft). for anyone counting, thats more than the entirety of the original house plan's size by itself.

The 2nd Wing is 10x28 ft (280 sq ft) plus 12x26 (312 sq ft), making the whole second wing 592 sq ft total

combined, this basically doubles the square footage of the house up to this point.

What the 1st Wing has:

a 20x20 ft Game Room [400 sq ft]

a 16x30 ft (Big) Room Full of Couches [480 sq ft]

a 20x10 ft Slightly Smaller Room Full of Couches [200 sq ft]

Another Room full of couches, this one 11x18 ft [198 sq ft]

an 11x10 ft bathroom [110 sq ft]

another extended Room Full of Couches, the bulk of which is 29x22 ft, but also includes a 6x10 ft hall space and a 3x4 ft hall space [638 sq ft; 60 sq ft; 12 sq ft; for a total of 710 sq ft]

a 2x2 ft hall closet [4 sq ft]

a 6x14 ft bedroom [84 sq ft]

a 12x8 ft bedroom [96 sq ft]

a 12x10 ft bedroom [120 sq ft]

a 21x10 ft bedroom [210 sq ft]

a 10x10 ft bedroom [100 sq ft]

a 16x10 ft bedroom [160 sq ft]

a 6x22 ft bedroom [132 sq ft]

a 9x8 ft bedroom [72 sq ft]

a 10x8 ft bedroom [80 sq ft]

a 16x8 ft bedroom [128 sq ft]

To sum this up: This first wing has 1588 sq ft just dedicated to couches. Thats it, couches. It has 1182 sq ft of actual bedrooms, and 1588 sq ft of couches. Imagine having a house with almost 400 sq ft more space for couches than beds. Unhinged, right? XD

What the 2nd Wing has:

that 10x28 ft open room labeled the Bitty Playroom

12 rooms that are all 4x4 ft [16 sq ft]

Other than this 2nd Wing clearly being sized for Bitties, including a 1ft wide curl of hallway connecting the open room to one of the couch rooms just for bitty travel, this wing is straightforward.

Put together, these two wings solve a lot of space issue. But the most notable (and infuriating) part of the design is the Doorway (drawn in yellow here) that connects the Bitty Wing to the 1st Wing. A door is in the north wall of the Big Room full of couches, and it opens in so that when you walk north through that door, you come out moving south into the bitty playroom. It is a portal door.

A completely unnecessary portal door.

Do you wanna know what else is completely unnecessary?

See the green staircase that leads down from this new floor? See how it leads down... to the 1st Floor? See how, just like the orange staircase to Sci's Basement lab, it's the exact same size as the yellow staircase that the original house uses to bridge the 1st Floor and 2nd Floor? This new floor is not a 3rd Floor, but a second 2nd Floor!

Let that sink in.

And then notice that while he was doing all of this, Ink quietly added a few things to the 1st Floor:

a 5x2 ft closet [10 sq ft] in that unused bit in the playroom's area

a 15x10 ft diningroom [150 sq ft] off the kitchen

Next

Next then we move on to Renovation #3... which i will have to talk about... in the next part... because tumblr has a 10 image per post limit. See you in [Part 2]!

[secondclassfangirl]

I'd like to know more about 'help me leave these lonely thoughts behind' and 'sometimes love don't feel like it should'.

I love that you picked these two specifically because I 1) haven't touched them in a while and 2) they both involve some soft, smutty, lawrusso emotional hurt/comfort, which I've been in the mood for lately ;)

help me leave these lonely thoughts behind

This one was intended as a kind of companion piece/sequel to one of the very first lawrusso oneshots I wrote, darling, only you can ease my mind, which features 90s established lawrusso in which Daniel is dealing with trauma and nightmares surrounding Terry Silver and Johnny comforts him through it with some gentle, lazy morning sex.

I don't have much written for this sequel, but the basic premise is that Daniel's still struggling with nightmares and has some deep-seated fears of betrayal and abandonment, but he's learning to trust Johnny and open himself up to new things. And despite all the battles going on in his head, he always feels safe when he's with Johnny--even if Johnny can't fix what he's dealing with. Which leads him to wonder if Johnny could help him through it, in a way.

Basically, it all culminates in Daniel bringing up the idea of somnophilia--he never feels safer than when Johnny holds him close and takes him apart, so maybe it'll help? Initially Johnny is very hesitant to the idea because he doesn't like the thought of Daniel not being conscious during sex, but once he realizes it may help him, he agrees to try it. Cue soft, gentle kink exploration, vulnerability, and lots of trust.

sometimes love don't feel like it should

This one is also about Daniel's trauma (because I clearly love making this poor dude suffer lol), but is a bit darker. It may have originally been inspired by a prompt on the kink meme, but I can't remember?

It starts with a flashback to 1985, in which Daniel is in the midst of training with Terry and dealing with the frenzy of emotions that stirs up in him. He's beginning to realize that he's attracted to guys, but when you combine everything Terry does to him with everything he dealt with from Johnny, Chozen, etc., he starts to associate that attraction/pleasure with pain. (He also may be just a tiny bit of a masochist?) So on top of all these confusing feelings for Terry, he's dealing with the fact that Terry's hurting him and he's getting off on it. Which brings him a lot of shame and guilt that follows him into adulthood.

So then, in CK era, he and Johnny get together, and Johnny is caught off guard by how grabby and rough Daniel gets during sex. He's always goading Johnny into fucking him rough, leaving bruises, etc., which Johnny finds a little out of character but doesn't question. Except one night, he wants to take it slow, and Daniel is super hesitant. Which leads them to have a heart to heart in which Johnny realizes that Daniel's only experiences with guys have been marred by pain and violence, and as a result, he thinks that sex with guys is supposed to be rough. The roughness isn't what he wants--just what he thinks he's supposed to want. So Johnny decides to show him that sex with guys can be slow and gentle, too.

I haven't touched either of these in a while, but it was fun looking back over them! I still love both of these concepts, so hopefully I'll get around to finishing them sooner rather than later ;)

Thanks so much for the ask! <3

[natequarter]

8, 17, 20 for the OC asks <3

8: Does your OC have any notable flaws or activities they're not good at? Why did you give them those flaws? Why do they exist in-universe?

this is a great question, because almost all of my ghosts ocs are designed to have several glaring flaws which make them extremely grating to haunt with, à la canon. i did this because i like arsehole characters who suck. william, for starters, is supposed to be a crusading soldier... and he dies a slow death of tuberculosis before he can achieve any of that. which i suppose makes the other activity he's not good at breathing - you stay how you die, after all. william is a bit like the love child the captain's military outlook and pat's excruciating optimism, as it happens. geoffrey is terrible at handling finances, and horses, and life in general. (he's honestly much happier after death. less responsibility.)

clarence has a bad habit of going along with other people's stupid ideas, most notably george button's idiotic suggestion to skate on the lake in winter. (you can imagine how that went.) elizabeth isn't very good at socialising - she has one (1) ghost she likes, and that's pretty much it. unfortunately for robin, that ghost is humphrey. also, she's exceptionally bad at haunting, which is honestly fair enough, seeing as the only ghost power available to her is a guy who can slash at stuff with his sword (william, at it again). oh, and she holds grudges. i mean, she's dead; it's not like there's much else she can hold. and having died in her sleep, she's frequently feverish and dizzy. in fact, it took robin longer than usual to convince her she was dead, because she wasn't awake to experience it.

17: List/describe up to five tropes that apply to your OC. They could be related to the OC's characterization or their narrative arc.

bad news: despite browsing tvtropes for fun, i have no idea how to answer this - or at least i don't have the energy. i would say that all of my ghost ocs (not bbc ghosts ocs, specifically ocs who are ghosts) are designed to be caricatures, with particular emphasis on some of them being parodies of their era. william is very much a parody of the crusading ideal, of holy war and chivalry, blah blah blah, and also a bit of richard the lionheart. richard the lionheart is way after his era, but he's still obsessed with the guy (and saladin), because he's been a bit... consumed by medieval crusading culture. "back in my day," he'd probably say, referring to a period more than a century after he died...

i also have some french ghosts ocs, and of those, pretty much all of them play off bbc ghosts and tropes surrounding their era, most notably marius (a bit like william, but a roman soldier, and incredibly fucking annoying). there's also estienne, who is a french spin on robin (i say french, but he's not french at all), pierre, who's mostly me messing around with identity and language in the south of france, milada (czech, and the antithesis of julian: very into in 90s/early 2000s culture, but the music and tech in lieu of tory shittiness), giulietta (gay and medieval. i wanted to subvert the "gay people were miserable in the past" narrative), mathieu (messing around with ideas of heroism and how that interacts with the french revolution in popular imagination), and james, a shitty english spy who tries to pass as an incredibly stereotypical frenchman, and only avoids being caught because he's so ineffectual nobody seriously thinks he could be a threat.

20: Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your OC. Examples: scrapped ideas or changes you didn't expect to make.

the a in au stands for arthur. who is arthur? an oc involved in the long fic i'm working on (read: will probably be writing for the rest of the year, help). he's humphrey and sophie's (eldest) son, in an au where they actually learn to get along. ironically, his original backstory was from what was pretty much just daydreaming, in a world where his parents had been involved in the bone plot and died before he was old enough to remember them. so yeah, i'd say that's a pretty major scrapped idea. also this isn't relevant to the question but for his fourteenth birthday he gets a dog. they're best friends. this isn't relevant to the question, but it's very important to me.

(link)

[bluebudgie]

Petthri 1, 12, 14, 16 and 17

(also technically 3, but I need too know if someone ever called him petri dish or joked about it, like it is for Lahpp)

Hi anon thank you for the questions!! Sorry for the wait I had to go sleep like the second I saw the ask notification pop up :D

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

So there's this mouse villager in Animal Crossing New Horizons called Petri (yes like the petri dish, she's got a labcoat and all) and I looked at her and thought "oh that's a cute name wouldn't it be funny if I had an Asura wh-"

And this is my PB in "stupid idea to actual creation" speedrun. This man was set up for disaster from the start.

IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT

This pretty much answers 3) already I suppose?

But about your extra question: I haven't really thought about it happening (my comment on Lahpp's name was more about out-of-character jokes too rather than in-character) but I won't deny it never happened (more likely for Petthri; Lahpp's mostly referred to with his System ID number in most situations). I think Petthri would find the coincidence funny actually. Like in a "isn't it cool!" kinda way.

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

His face can be hell to draw. I've lamented this in the past but because his eyes sit relatively high and he has a (by Asura standards) more or less narrow face he falls into the looks-too-human uncanny valley super fast. And when it happens I have the hardest time fixing it. It's a rollercoaster with him.

Somehow, that too fits his character.

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? 

1) This man has more energy than I can ever even dream to possess. Like, physically, mentally, this dude's just everything everywhere all the time.

2) Keep him at least somewhat charismatic despite the chaos that surrounds him, otherwise the whole "he used to be really popular with everyone" doesn't really add up. Unless there's an inexplicable aura to him.

16. What is something about your OC can make you cry? 

I've not hit the big official angst arc for him yet but he must miss his family back in Rata Sum. Sometimes he wonders for how long they've been looking for him before they gave up. Or on worse days, he wonders if they ever bothered to find him at all. He was told the Inquest made sure he's considered officially dead, so he doesn't blame anyone for not coming to try and free him.... does he?

Probably tried talking about it to Lahpp but didn't find much understanding. Maybe one day.

17. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? 

None I can think of! If there was something I didn't like I must have scrapped it and forgotten about it but honestly... this guy is 90% random anecdotes of stupid shit he did, there isn't much to go wrong with.

[milesonthenet]

5 Fighters for Gotham Knights

Hello and welcome back to House of Milesverse. It has been a while since I made a post. However, the release of October’s Gotham Knights has given me an idea.

Today, I want to show you five members of the Batfamily who I would love to see in the game. There are so many characters that could make it. However, these five seem like they would be the most fun, and most popular to showcase.

Before I put together the list, I think it is fair that I explain what Gotham Knights is.

WHAT IS GOTHAM KNIGHTS?

If you have not heard, Gotham Knights is an action role-playing game for the Xbox Series X, Windows PC, and the Playstation 5. The game centers on the aftermath of Batman’s death. Without him, Gotham is unable to protect itself, and criminals overrun the city. 

Thus, various allies of Batman aim to protect Gotham and restore justice to the city. In addition, Batman’s allies aim to investigate the mysteries surrounding his death and the enigmatic Court of Owls.

PLAYABLE CHARACTERS

Perhaps the most fun thing about Gotham Knights is the variety of playstyle. Many Batman fans love having numerous characters to choose from. In addition, each character feels different on their own.

So far, the playable choices are:

The first Robin, Nightwing.

Commissioner Gordon’s daughter, Batgirl.

The second Robin, and Outlaw member, Red Hood.

The third Robin, Tim Drake.

I like the roster, but I think Gotham Knights can go further with characters. There’s still a decent chunk of Batfamily members who should join the game. I have put together a list of some of these members who I personally believe should join the game.

NUMBER FIVE: Huntress’ crossbow gives her some range.

Sure, Huntress is probably not the first person you think of for this game. However, I think she does count as a member of the Batfamily. In fact, I believe she was a part of Batman’s circle during the 90s and late 2000s.

As a playable character, Huntress would be fierce and ruthless in combat. She’s more violent than Batman, and he’s even had to restrain her a few times. Her main weapon would be her crossbow, which helps to give her some range in combat.

I think Helena’s ferocity could give her an interesting position on the team. Jason Todd is also labeled the ‘violent one’ by fans. You could have them both interact and bounce off of each other. In addition, it also gives fans the chance to see more interactions between Helena and Batgirl. The two of them were a part of the Birds of Prey, and this is even referenced in the game with a photo.

NUMBER FOUR: Batwing brings a whole different style to the gameplay.

Batwing is an alias that was first used by David Zavimbe, the ‘Batman of Africa’. It was later taken up by Luke Fox, son of Lucius Fox, who helps provide Batman’s gear. 

Regarding gear, Batwing has a different costume than the others. He has a more armored combat suit, sort of like Iron Man. He’s able to glide and maneuver through the air thanks to his cape. You could give him the ability to fly and have that be his maneuver option. Imagine how cool it would be to see Gotham from the skies.

NUMBER THREE: Azrael’s just too cool to not be included.

Azrael’s well-remembered as being the temporary replacement for Batman in Knightfall. What some people do not know is that story was made to make fun of the 90s. However, Azrael is still a fan favorite, and his appearances always bring much applause.

I think seeing how Azrael could interact with the rest of the cast could be fun. In particular, I would like to see him, and Dick Grayson develop a cool dynamic. When it comes to fighting, Azrael brings a particularly interesting set of weapons to the game. He wields dual wrist blades that can also set on fire. Azrael’s just too cool to not add to the game.

NUMBER TWO: This is the Signal for Duke Thomas to join the game.

I feel like Duke Thomas is one of the least popular Bat family members. Or, at least, he’s one of the ones who’s least talked about. Despite that, I think he’s proven that he’s worthy of being a part of the family.

I like Duke Thomas’ potential purely when it comes to mechanics. Duke’s photokinetic abilities could prove a challenge for developers to use. He can “see” light, where it has gone, and where it is going. This also enables him to predict the movements of enemies.

Apparently in Batman and The Outsiders, Duke Thomas also developed shadow abilities. Pooling from both shadow and light powers gives Duke a lot of variety to use. It also could give him a few unique mobility options, such as vanishing into the shadows or teleporting like light.

NUMBER ONE: Damian Wayne’s popularity is just too much.

For fans of the Bat Family, Damian Wayne is a must-have among others. He’s one of the most popular Robins. In addition, he is also the biological child of Batman and Talia Al’Ghul. This makes him an heir to the Demon, Ra’s himself, and the Wayne family.

As a fighter, Damian Wayne’s signature weapon could be the sword. You could give him a few cool combos on slicing and dicing his enemies. You could also have him make use of birdarangs as well.

If there were any reason to add Damian Wayne, it would be to see the dynamic he shares with Tim Drake and Dick Grayson. In particular, I think Damian is Dick’s Robin, and they could be seen as brothers. You could have Damian also have some growing animosity toward Tim. In fact, you could play them both as archenemies who later learn to work together.

CONSENSUS: Gotham Knights is an awesome experience

Gotham Knights is an awesome experience for long-time Batman fans. Even though you do not get to play as Batman himself, you get to use his supporting cast. All of them have various quirks and mechanics that make them memorable and cool.

For fans of the open-world genre, Gotham Knights offer a beautiful version of Gotham that’s always active. You can run around the city for as long as you want.

As a game, there is just no limit to what Gotham Knights can do. You and your friend can enjoy playing as one of Batman’s legacies. I truly hope that the game gets more content added to it. I would love it if one of these characters ends up joining the game as well.

[jacobtheloofah]

oopsie i wrote way more of a rant/ramble about modern art than i anticipated i would here we go

anyway yeah i really am torn between two worlds with this movement of people criticizing modern art for often being excessively simple to the point of them saying "i could do that" and also seemingly lacking any immediately obvious substance, cuz i think there's two perspectives where either this point is 100% valid and a critique of the rich or it's pretty dumb and just lacks any desire for artistic perspective or a deeper understanding of the piece

on the one hand you've got cases like this where reading into the context of the piece and the substances it's made of it becomes so clear that yeah its a simple piece but my god does it hold deeper meaning. the other example in this vein that comes to mind is "untitled" aka "portrait of ross in la" by felix gonzalez-torres

y'all here on tumblr may very well know this piece but if you don't it is physically what you see, a pile of pieces of candy in the corner. people are allowed to take a piece of candy from the pile, but the pile is maintained by mass in order to match the average weight of an adult man. it's named after the artist's parter, ross, who died of complications from aids in the 90's, unfortunately only a few years before the artist himself also died in the same vein. if you were just walking through a museum looking for pieces that are so visually accessible that you deem them unworthy of artistic merit because you yourself "could do that" then yeah this would fit the description, but understanding the context as well as the factor of the interactivity implying the "taking away" of the figure's weight and personhood, as if they were being consumed by aids, then it's a whole different thing.

nested in this is the idea that all the "stupidly simple" modern art is an invention of the last 50 years or so and "true art" has lost its way, which uh no? no its not. no it hasn't. check it out:

that is "black square," a piece which many people would be like "oh yeah which nepo baby made that" well here is the artist:

kazimir malevich, born during the days of the russian empire. this piece above was made in 1915, cuz during that time art was going through an early phase of people exploring absurdism, minimalism, and impressionism. this was around a similar time in europe where "futurism" was a big artistic movement (which was characterized in part by intensity and violence which ended up inspiring a lot of early fascists oopsie daisy) which had futurist theater productions where nobody was on stage and a gun was fired off stage across the playing space, and that was the whole play. so yeah this kind of stuff is not as "new" as we would consider and while i don't have the background or knowhow to speak to what each and every piece that's like this stands for, its worth looking deeper and considering for a second what is going on behind these seemingly simple pieces.

on the other hand...there is certainly a classist perspective to modern art and museums and all that stuff, cuz for many many many many years the idea of "high art" and "high class" things being associated with those who have education, intellect, more proper behavior and means, and of course more money has led to this whole attitude surrounding art of "oh you just don't get it" or the fetishization of modern art despite the comparative lack of substance to the art. is there a guarantee that every piece of minimalist art in a museum is substantive and coming from a real meaningful background? no, of course not. some rich artist could've paid his way into his piece being in the museum. and of course there's examples of rich idiots paying their way into the fine art space without even making the art themselves

that's jeff koons. he makes those metal balloon animal art pieces as well as many other campy/kitsch art pieces. he's rich and pays for a studio of assistants (as well as having some automated factors in the system) to make the art he designs. he sucks and his art sucks, fuck him. he's like the elon musk of modern art.

so what the fuck is my point with all this

well if you ask me, at the end of the day art is a conversation between the artist and the audience. the artist puts some intent or thought into the piece, and the audience approaches the art with a certain intent and gets a certain thought out of it. if an artist has a specific intent and thought making a very minimalist piece and you walk up to it with the intent of seeing some bullshit art and the thought that comes to mind is "yep, that's bullshit" then guess what? you just engaged with art!! you did it! mission complete! you don't have to appreciate art for the art to serve its purpose in the grand scheme, but of course enjoying art is half the battle.

if you want my advice on how to engage with any form of art, i'd say figure out your intent first. do you wanna see art that makes you think and ask questions? do you wanna see art that allows you to appreciate the craft that went into it? do you wanna see art that is traditionally aesthetically pleasing? do you just wanna spend some time in a museum for the hell of it? these are all valid ways of engaging with art in their own respects, and there's guaranteed to be art in most museums that can serve all these purposes. but then when it comes to this "i could do that" idea, well you already played the role of the audience, why not try out being the artist? go get some canvases and paint, or some drawing pads and some pencils and pens. make some art. replicate the bullshit art you saw and criticized. do you feel anything? do you have any ideas of what you would do instead? try that. if you do feel something with the original replication, explore that. find what intrigues you and pursue it. come to understand the craft, how someone can make a massive flat canvas with one uniform color so consistent, how you have to paint that to create that effect. splatter some paint on a canvas and see how you create layers of colors that you can distinguish and not end up with something muddied and unclear. understand how you create form and perspective in drawing, try it for yourself and see where it takes you.

if you think "i could do that," then do it. give it a shot. maybe you'll feel something.

(also if you have a legit art history background then please forgive me if i fucked any of this up i have a theater degree im just spitballing here okay bye)

i do not think you could do that actually, tiktok user

[qentin-fuckre]

Walter White Cringe Compliation

People are always like “oooOOooHH Heisenberg badass he’s the one who knocks!!!!!!” to the point I went into breaking bad expecting his character to be like that. But what I didn’t expect is that the guy is genuinely 90% of the time a cringy motherfucker. So here’s a list of all the cringe things walter white has done, to balance the scales a bit.

1. Yelled at a cop because his windshield got broken and he refused to fix it despite having recently gotten a large sum of money. Kept escalating until the cop pepper sprayed him and made him cry.

2. Told a high school gymnasium that the plane crash they were all reeling from wasn’t that bad, and that they’d get over it.

3. Quit his job by knocking random shit off the walls and yelling while grabbing his balls.

4. Ended up kicked out of his house and sleeping on the floor of an apartment in a white t-shirt, underwear, and cheetos surrounding him. Yelled “Here’s your restraining order!” while once more grabbing his crotch.

5. Brought a full pizza to his wife to try to make up for selling meth, and then threw the pizza on the roof on accident.

6. Tried to ram a potted plant through a window to get to the guy who was sleeping with his wife. He didn’t succeed.

7. He then tried to seduce his boss out of spite and got fired.

8. Made his son drink tequila shots until he threw up just to feel better than his brother-in-law.

9. Literally came up with a plan where he strips naked in a supermarket and “has amnesia”. It doesn’t work.

10. After his soooo badass “I am the one who knocks” speech (which btw is just him bullying his wife,) he awkwardly shuffles off and takes a shower.

11. He buys the most garish sports cars he can for himself and his son and revs the engines in the damn driveway while mentally playing the lamest song ever

12. His ideas to kill Gus were to ask his right hand man to kill Gus, and then when that failed, walk up to the man’s house, playing his own theme music in his head to hype himself up, and then getting told to just go home.

13. “AM I THE ONLY PERSON CAPABLE OF BEHAVING IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER?” Man who ruined his job prospects screams at Saul Goodman.

14. Made a terrible lie to Gus about Gale screwing up the batch and needing more time only for Gus to visit Walt at the hospital revealing he knew he was full of shit.

15. His absolutely awful lie about the second cell phone that Skyler doesn’t even believe

16. Spends a whole episode obsessing over and failing to kill a singular fly.

17. Tells his brother-in-law who is actively pursuing Heisenberg that Heisenberg might still be out there just because his ego couldn’t handle the thought of Gale getting the credit

I’m certain there’s more, but these all stick out to me. Stop with the “OOO HE BLEW UP TUCO” or “OOOH HE KILLED GUS” and remember that ninety percent of the time, Walter White was fucking embarrassing.

[sharkneto]

any random hcs/thoughts you have that dont fit in your JT/HT fics? something you think is cool but cant explore or dont have time for?

Oh boy, I have lots of little odds and ends that don't fit and probably won't turn into anything.

Lots about Rob and Sarah (some of these details can be found HERE) as I've figured out their backstories and history together. It's turned into quite the tooth-achingly sweet romcom.

Outside of general Rob and Sarah romcom, I think about random scenarios that just don't fit into HIT canon all the time. Amanda meeting our Five (touched on HERE). A fun one where Amanda gets kidnapped with Five (JT Five - Number), Five gets drugged heavily to keep him from doing anything, and Luther and Diego save the day through unwilling team-work while Five is drugged-up but actually pretty pleasant deadweight. Generally, more mixing and matching of siblings with Rob, Sarah, and/or Amanda are things that are thought about regularly.

And then there's the HIT canon stuff that just didn't make it. I should write a little one-shot or something sometime of Amanda running into Five at a house party before the whole Alley Incident because I've only written him when he's a sad, angry drunk but when he's just letting loose he's a chill, fun drunk. He drinks to not think and he is Not Thinking.

Random specific headcanons... - Sarah doesn't want kids and is bad at them, not a maternal bone in her body. She does her best but she just has no clue what she's supposed to do with them. This does extend to pets and she doesn't actually like Mr. Pennycrumb much outside of that he's good for Five and Five adores him. She thought she had a kindred spirit in Five with all this until he fell head-over-heels for his silly little dog. Rob is actually pretty good with kids but doesn't feel strongly about having any and he's a little... just this side of clinical when hanging out with them. How brains develop and kids figure things out is just so cool. He at least has experience with them with his nieces and nephews. - A tangent of the above is Rob's family. Sarah is an only child. Bam, easy, done. Rob is the youngest of three (brother 10 years older, sister 7 years older), and those siblings started having kids when Rob was in high school. Those kids are now starting to grow up and the first one now has a kid of her own. Christmas with Rob's family is A Lot and includes Rob's parents, his siblings and their spouses, his siblings' kids (two and three each, respectively), and his brother's first grandkid. The niblings all think Rob is Super Cool because he was Cool, Young Uncle Rob when they were little and that doesn't just go away. Rob's mom loves all the grandkids (and the great grandkid!) but would really love to have some grandkids from her youngest. Sarah is already overwhelmed by being surrounded by Walters and does not appreciate this pressure and how the Children Conversation is a conversation that somehow happens every time they see Rob's mom. Shout-out to @non-plutonian-druid for the deep dive we went in on this lol. There is a fun potential holiday fic somewhere in here. - Rob doesn't like classical music. It's on constantly at the hospital psych ward and at his office's waiting room for a Calm Mood and he's sick of it. I haven't actually thought about what music he does like. Sarah does 80s rock, but Rob... I like the idea of him listening to Dad Rock (despite not being a dad), but it could also be some truly random 90s stuff from his college days (of which I am not very familiar with despite being alive then because I was young and my dad was partial to the 70s and my mom was partial to classical). - Rob and Sarah broke up exactly once while they were dating, for three weeks. Sarah did the breaking up because she realized Rob was probably the Real Deal after they'd been dating for a year and a half and she Panicked. Rob was crushed but tried to respect her decision and space and hope she'd come back. She did in the form of falling off her bike and getting a concussion and Rob was still her hospital emergency contact. He takes care of her until someone else can come because he's still in love with her and their life is a romcom. Sarah cannot actually remember why she broke up with him because she's concussed. In trying to figure it out, trying to tell him he can be a little overwhelming in how there he is all the time, she says she broke up with him because he's "too Midwestern". Rob is understandably upset that they only broke up because he's from Iowa. They figure it out. - That post went around a bit ago about "what does your blorbo's phone look like" and that legit got me out of a no-words-funk thinking about Five's phone. I think it has exactly one catastrophic crack across the screen from when he first got it, went "I don't need a case", and was good without a case for like a week until he got too drunk and did drop it and it immediately cracked. It now has a Really Good Case - dark blue and slim but was really expensive so that you can practically drop it off a building and it will be okay without being obnoxiously bulky.

That's probably enough for now. I can ramble about my silly little blorbos forever lol