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Fluent Freshman - Part 40
PREV
The Winter Banquet.
Where the Spring Championship announcements happen for Collegiate Exy. A formal event meant to allow the ERC to showcase how their stars weren’t just brutes on the court. Look at how beautiful and handsome they all were. Look at how they danced together. Look at the smiles and laughter and-
Wait.
No.
Put that down.
Who had the great idea to put the Jackals next to the Terrapins? Things have been tense between the teams since the Captain of the Terrapins stole the Captain of the Jackal’s date during the Fall Banquet!
I thought we all agreed that there would never be any more steak knives! What was the point of paying for all the pre-cut tenderloins if we’re just going to give them steak knives?!
Really gotta find an intern to pin this fiasco on.
Oh great the Foxes are leaving! Did we even get a picture of Kevin Day in his suit? Fuck it’s going to be a two intern firing kind of day isn’t it.
Someone get an eye on the Ravens before they try and grab some hapless idiot and sacrifice him to revive Riko Moriyama. If there’s even one more damn tabloid with a blurry photo of ‘Riko Moriyama’ to prove that his death was faked then heads will roll.
Honestly, the biopic that some Edgar Allan Film student is making about him seems pretty interesting. The ERC just wishes people would stop taking pics of the ‘lead actor’ and sending it to tabloids as proof that the King hadn’t died.
Fuck, the Foxes left before we got any decent pictures.
Well just great.
You’d think that after all these years of the Foxes leaving early they’d have learned that getting pictures as they arrive is the most important thing.
Oh thank god it looks like the Trojans are starting to mediate the fight. You can always count on good ol’ Jeremy.
Fuck.
A Raven got too close to Jean Moreau and now Jeremy Knox has punched a Backliner. Great. The Trojans have formed ranks around Moreau but the kid’s just too damn tall. Someone has hit him in the head with an especially saucy meatball, he’s not injured, just confused. The Trojans are acting like it’s a gunshot he just took to the head.
The refreshment table just seemed to collapse in on itself and god wasn’t that just an allegory for this entire damn evening.
Anita Flores sighs as she watches yet another banquet go down in a riot. Honestly, she doesn’t know why they think these will end up differently. She finds herself often missing when she used to coordinate banquets for football teams.
She sighs and thinks about her least favorite interns.
Alex had been getting a bit too cocky lately. He’d make a good sacrifice.
***
(Three hours earlier)
The Palmetto State Foxes were on their way to the Winter Banquet. From what FF understood it was categorically always a 90% chance of a shitshow. Honestly FF was surprised that the percentage was that low.
There was a general tenseness in the air surrounding it that went beyond the Banquet’s propensity to become a fight.
This year the Winter Banquet was going to be held up at the Binghamton Bearcat’s stadium. The nation knew the story from the news and FF knew the story from both that and from the Foxes themselves who were there at the time in bits and pieces.
Captain Neil had been kidnapped from this stadium and then he’d been tortured. FF hadn’t even been on the team when it had happened and he was anxious about Captain Neil going anywhere near the stadium.
“He was just…he was just gone.” Matt had said, “Neil was gone and Kevin said that he was probably dead when Andrew got back with his phone.” He continued as the two of them sat up late in the living room of the dorm one night back in early October.
“I thought Andrew was going to kill me y’know.” Kevin had said bottle in hand as FF tried to help him up the stairs because apparently he would 100% guarantee vomit if he was in the nausea box. “I thought that maybe I deserved it, since I didn’t help Neil. I just let him walk to his death.” He said and despite assurances that he wouldn’t puke FF’s shoes did not make it through that journey unscathed.
“We called…we called everywhere.” Nicky had stared up at the ceiling of his hospital room, “Andrew was adamant that he was still alive even though Kevin kept saying he was dead and that dead was the nicest thing he could hope for. I thought that was a terrible thing to say.” Nicky curled up closer to him.
“I told you, Andrew dragged me like I was nothing to get to Neil. I don’t think he even noticed the guns.” Wymack said to Abby as the two sat on the back porch during Aras’ going away party. “His eyes were on Neil.” he gestures towards where Andrew was watching Captain Neil wrestle with Matt.
“He looked like shit.” Aaron had said unable to stomach a diagram of different degrees of burn in his medical book. “At least he was alive.” He adds.
“A hero.” Andrew’s voice had been what could be considered teasing from Andrew, “Someone who looks like her.” he had said touching Captain Neil’s burn scars as they drove away from the stadium after coming back to pick FF up.
Captain Neil had come to him the day before they were set to drive out, “Take me somewhere no one will find me for an hour.” FF hadn’t quite understood what Captain Neil meant, he never hid anywhere. People just failed to realize where he was.
“Ok.” he says instead of trying to explain because being unnoticed means no one hid codes from him.
The roof of the Library wasn’t that much different from the roof of the Tower, only that it was taller and bigger. Captain Neil had shut his phone off after texting something, likely to Andrew, and then put it into his pocket.
FF settled on the roof, sat with his back against a heating vent to stay warm. Captain Neil settled next to him and they sat in silence. It felt like back at the start of this where Captain Neil and Andrew would come find him and just sit in silence.
It was nice. He had missed-
“They act like the stadium is the thing that kidnapped me.” Captain Neil says.
Oh okay, quiet time is over apparently.
FF doesn’t say anything, figuring that nothing he could say right now would be the right thing and maybe Captain Neil just needs to talk through some stuff.
“That stadium is where I thought I’d have my last good memory.” Captain Neil explains, “I’m not scared of it and yet Andrew’s acting like I’ll die if I’m left alone for more than 2 seconds while we’re there. Every time we go there they all act like the most important thing in the world is that I get on that bus at the end of the night.” Captain Neil explains.
FF does remember how Andrew had grabbed Captain Neil after their October game up in Binghamton. How Captain Neil had complained bitterly but had gone after looking at Andrew.
“He’s dead!” Captain Neil exclaimed and FF couldn’t help but look over at the entrance and hoped no one heard them. “He’s dead! I watched him get shot! He can’t kidnap me again!” Captain Neil continued to yell and FF couldn’t help but worry that they’d be heard below, or worse bother a student trying to study below.
FF reached out and touched Captain Neil’s arm and bright blue eyes turned to him, “We’re on a library. Don’t yell.” FF said and Captain Neil looked at him incredulously.
Then he laughed. He laughed and laughed and FF was worried that he’d gone and broken his Captain.
He suddenly felt bad about his own bout of hysterical laughter a while back.
“Thanks Smith.” Captain Neil had said with a smile.
They had sat up there until it was dark and Andrew had started calling FF’s phone and Captain Neil took the call to say he was coming back.
Now they’re on the bus, dressed nicely, and on their way up to Binghamton’s stadium. Captain Neil and Andrew are hidden in the far back of the bus with Andrew looking far more like a watchdog than anything else the closer they got to their destination.
Captain Neil had seemed largely resigned to this treatment at this point. Eventually they were at the stadium and shown to their seats. They were sat across from the Trojans and it seemed like the rest of the team was quite pleased with that.
“Smith!” Captain Jeremy Knox is smiling at him, “Nice to see you again bud, nice name change too.” he says.
“It’s nice to see you too, Captain Jeremy.” FF says and doesn’t notice how Captain Neil’s head whips around to look at him.
“You two know each other?” Nicky asks looking between the two of them with excitement.
“Of course! We offered Smith a spot at the USC Trojans.” Captain Jeremy says and FF feels his stomach cramp at the memory.
That had been terrifying.
Coach Rheman and Captain Jeremy wanted to sit down to make their offer with his parents. He was still 17 and unable to sign anything legal without their permission. He’d tried to decline and move past them and Captain Jeremy had put the final nail in the coffin at the time for any thought that he could go to college on the power of his apparent Exy capabilities.
“I saw in your file that you have brothers! USC always gives a second look at student applicants who already have siblings in the university. You could go to school with your brothers!” he had smiled brightly like he wasn’t issuing FF one of the most terrifying threats he’d ever heard in his entire life.
He had given the firmest ‘No thank you, I’m not interested in playing Exy in college.’ he could and was running to his Grandma’s to breath into a bag for twenty minutes.
“I see you changed your mind about playing Exy in college.” Captain Jeremy said with the same smile that still feels like a threat.
“Coach Wymack and Captain Dan were convincing.” he says and looks to see if there’s any way he can move further away from Captain Jeremy’s attention.
“Can I ask what convinced you to be a Fox?” Captain Jeremy asks, “I’m always trying to see what support we should be offering. I found out last year that we missed out on Andrew because we didn’t offer spots to Aaron or Nicky. I thought since you had brothers that’d be the thing that got you.” Captain Jeremy leans across the table but stops when he notices the Foxes all tense. “Whoa, what’s up?” he asks.
Jean Moreau sighs from next to Captain Jeremy, “Not everyone wants to go to college with their family, Jeremy.” Jean says, “Did it not cross your mind that he changed his entire name?” he asks with a raised brow.
Jeremy blinks, “Oh,” he looks at FF, “I guess that wasn’t the right thing to offer.” he says leaning back in his chair.
“I guess I should thank you for offering that?” Nicky says wryly before turning to look at FF, “You look better in orange anyways.” he says.
“Thank you Nicky.” FF returns loyally.
The banquet gets started shortly afterwards. Food is served. The bar is opened. People are talking. FF finds himself relaxing the longer the conversations around him go on. Matt is talking with a backliner on the Trojan line named Todd in good cheer. Captain Neil, Kevin, and Jean are all talking about the latest updates with Ichirou in French with the occasional gesture towards FF. Jean Moreau looks at him with a raised eyebrow but gives him a single nod when Captain Neil explains what happened.
Jeremy is chatting with Jack and even Jack was finding it hard to maintain his usual level of rudeness in the face of such unbridled positive energy. Nicky was talking with Katelyn and Alvarez. Aaron was chatting with a fellow med student college athlete who was an offensive dealer.
It was shaping up to be a good night.
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
#Fluent Freshman AU#Jeremy Knox essentially threatening FF on accident#With a huge smile#Fucking kills me#Winter Banquet getting into full swing#Ya'll know where it's heading but not all the parts that happen#Foxes are on high alert#No one likes Neil being in Binghamton#There was definitely an all-hands meeting about how Neil is not allowed to go anywhere alone#That if a security guard approaches Neil you treat that security guard like an active threat#Nicky just thinks it's Andrew wanting an excuse to hold his BF's hand all night#Andrew: “Smith you're on covert operations. Keep an eye out for threats.”#FF: “Aye aye Captain.”#Neil: “OH SO NOW HE'S A CAPTAIN TOO? WHAT'S NEXT?!”#Neil is butt hurt about the whole “Captain Jeremy” thing#He could accept it for Dan#But JEREMY?#Neil's gonna need a lot of TLC to get over this betrayal TBFH#In adult news#My closing is next week Friday!#Wooo#I really speedran the whole owning property thing#Thank you bullshit luck#AFTG#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#Andreil#Wow 40 parts on this thing#Still wild#Thanks for joining me on this ride
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I just have a bunch of screenshots from Dressrosa that gives the vibes of Kin’emon and Kanjuro just showing off Usopp like they’re his devoted followers or he’s their son they’re very proud of.
He just kinda seamlessly blends in with them.
#no post-Dressrosa spoilers please 🙏#one piece#op#usopp#god usopp#fox fire kin’emon#evening shower kanjuro#dressrosa#nice to know kin’emon’s fatherly instincts are always on high alert
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Metal sonic takes his sisters hand literally
#art#comic#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#belle the tinkerer#belle the kangaroo rat#sonic idw#Belle x tails#protective brother powers on high alert
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My favourite fantasy lately is Kuya kidnapping Eiden and bringing him to a house in the woods to punish him for endangering himself during some adventure. Kuya keeps Eiden in bondage and constantly on edge, teasing and denying him. And Eiden just takes it without asking to be let out, allowing Kuya to vent his fear and frustration, because he's nice like that.
But, at some point, even the strongest little soldiers break, and just when Eiden is about to shatter from all the stress and Kuya's oppressive anxiety, Quincy comes for the rescue. He's the only one who managed to find that little wooden shack in the middle of nowhere (you know, because Kuya's allowed him to), and he comes in and persuades Kuya to relent.
Kuya hasn't even given Eiden any dick in all the (three? four?) days they've been at it, so serious he was about the discipline aspect!
Eiden cries when Kuya finally fucks him, and Quincy makes him spill
this just reminds me of Billowing Wildfire Kuya R2 where eiden saID sO HImself
i would not be surprised if kuya went full speed into an evil edging hostage situation because he doesn't know how to process eiden's mortality
#feesh answer#i don't think even I'M that evil#i wouldn't edge eiden for DAYS...#then again i don't have the lifespan of an ancient fox yokai. i think.#so time passing for kuya must feel very different#(eiden being magically edged in the other room) kuya while doing his nails: huh. has it been 20 minutes already?#IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS. KUYA LET HIM SPLORT#is there any way the clan members would NOT freak out after seeing eiden disappear for 3-4 days?#by the 1st night of MissingEiden#at least 3 of his wives would be on high alert LOL#unfortunately kuya rly does have those ridiculous powers#if he didn't wanna be found then none of the others would be able to get to him#i guess that's when quincy and rei are hired to sniff him out#rei's prob more lax like. what? the grand idiot's been gone for a day? so what. he's prob just fucking his way thru the clan#and one by one they all go 'he's not with me'#maybe by the 3rd day due to the delay in manual mail delivery#they get the scroll back from dante like 'no eiden is not with me'#and that's when everyone FLIPS OUT and the search goes into high gear#no. no actually i feel like they would all have figured out where eiden was within a day#that many brains.... surely they would be able to tell#or quincy would tattle. very matter of factly.#as in. yeah. i can sense it. old fox is squirreling away somewhere with the little devil#sigh. kuya if you keep this up they're all gonna put u thru mandated fox therapy or smth#you cannot do this every time you get separation anxiety#wait how tf do you spell the kuyaei shipname. is it just kuyaei. kuyei? kyuei? friggni vowels man#nu carnival kuya
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*When asked about Sonic*
Chaos Sonic: Hah. So we're still talking about that blue pitstain? Whatever. He can be fun to toy with, sure, but he's old news. Last year's model. A failure of a friend and a passable hero. Nine wants him alive for "some reason"—that involves his "intense attachment"—so I won't kill him or anything. I'll leave him alone in a room with Nine over my dead body—or my best friend's wishes, since I cannot bear to refuse him. If I could, though, I'd love the chance to "play" with him some, "rough him up" a little as payback for how he treated my best friend.
Alpha Grim Sonic (answering via writing it down, sign language, transmission, whatever because he's mute): You refer to the blue hedgehog. Once upon a time, my master, Nine, seemed to be troubled when thinking of him. There was a time when Sonic brought a fight to our doorstep, but no matter how Sonic may have hurt him in the past, he has chosen to preserve my master's life. Nine seems to trust him, and Sonic has not threatened his life. So, as I do not have the capacity to experience such things as "emotions", and they would not matter even if I did have the ability, I do not mind if my master associates with Sonic the Hedgehog. If Nine is happy, and the hedgehog does not intend harm upon him, then all is well.
ㅤ
*When asked about Shadow*
Chaos Sonic: Oh, he's that black hedgehog, right?! Seems cool! I'd love to race him sometime. Of course, I'll fight him too if he intends to lay a finger on my best buddy, but all is well if he plays nice.
Alpha Grim Sonic (answering not by speaking, because he is mute): Shadow the Hedgehog. You do refer to the black hedgehog, do you not? If he intends to bring harm upon my master again, I will not hesitate in removing him. He has not received forgiveness for trying to kill my master during the war. Nine surely allows him to live because he is gracious, but if he so commanded me to I would rip the hedgehog him limb from limb. It is my duty to do what my master commands, and I will be ready should the hedgehog try anything or should my master finally revoke his trust in him.
#sonic prime#sonic the hedgehog#crystalbondshipping#crystalbond#chanine#miles nine prower#nine sonic prime#nine the fox#chaos sonic#alpha grim sonic#i just be ramblin#If you're reading this ignore how they speak. I was intending to write this in meme format and not worry about the dialogue#and then I ended up worrying a bit about the dialogue but not too much#In case it isn't clear both of them actually dislike leaving Nine alone#They create an understanding with each other at some point#But even when Nine trusts someone they won't leave him unless commanded to do so#They're funny because Chaos Sonic has a vendetta against Sonic. Sure he's the new Sonic and wants to replace him‚ but after being revived h#*really* wants to replace him and also really dislikes him for how he thinks Sonic treated Nine (and because of Sonic’s place in Nine's#heart). Meanwhile‚ while Alpha Grim Sonic understands why Chaos Sonic would be hung up on how he treats Nine (and eventually understands#wanting to be held to a similar place as Sonic in Nine's heart)‚ he just doesn't get Chaos Sonic's vendetta and obsession#However‚ Alpha Grim Sonic's fist is magnetized to Shadow's face. He is on high alert when Shadow is around Nine‚ and although he is not#supposed to have a personality or feelings‚ he is compelled to fight Shadow and tear him apart. He still harbors a grudge over Shadow's#trying to kill/stop Nine. Meanwhile‚ while Chaos Sonic can understand disliking Shadow for how he treated Nine‚ he doesn't really get the#obsession either. He thinks Shadow could be fun to play and toy with😂 And those are like the only two that these two have incredibly strong#feelings towards when it comes to the people Nine associates with#au musings#crystalshattershipping and chilitonic if you squint tbh
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I am ash from your fire
Summary: Eris retires after a long night to find his mate, the princess of the night court, in his chambers upset.
Author’s note: Rhys is a jackass in this one. Honestly this was supposed to be Eris comforting reader but idk how it flipped at some point and sometimes you just gotta go with where the story takes you 🤷🏼♀️ also I’m headcannoning that Eris reads anything and everything he can get his hands on
(1k celebration masterlist 🍾)
Eris feels his shoulders sag ever so slightly, allowing the formalities of his stature to soften slightly as he moves further into his private chambers.
The only place in the Forest House he can at least somewhat relax. The hues of brown coating the walls, the paintings of hounds and forests covering the walls have been a comfort since his youth.
It was one of the few places Beron never entered. The High Lord would never sully himself by entering into his children’s chambers. No, he’d have word sent to them so they can come to him.
Eris walks towards the bookshelves, long fingers softly gliding over the edges of the leather bindings. His personal library was extensive - books of maps, histories, biographies, all subjects expected of a first-born heir. But also books of poetry, fantasy, and intrigue.
Eris was always a voracious reader, that need for escapism a constant in his life. His hands move on their own accord, searching for something to lose himself in when his ears perk up at a noise in his bedchambers. Unsheathing a dagger from his hip, he moves towards the room, seeing a shadow of movement underneath the door.
He reaches the door, slowly moving his hand to the handle. Once it’s in his hand, he turns it quickly, throwing open the door and pouncing on top of the person in his chambers.
His dagger is held at their throat, determined to find out who sent the risk before disposing of them. A laugh bursts out from under him, his dagger so close to their throat it knicks their throat at their laughs.
“That’s one way to say hello.”
His grip on the dagger falters momentarily, the sweet sounds of his mate’s voice causing him to loosen his hold. He pulls the dagger back, sheathing it back into his pants.
He brushes the hair from your face, taking in your amused look, his other hand going to inspect the slight knick on your throat.
“My precious fox.”
The nickname rolls off his tongue, his senses on high alert at your unexpected presence. He can sense something is off with you, and his eyes roam your body for injury.
Coming up short of any injuries sans the knick he just gave you, he sits on his haunches, grabbing your hands, helping you to sit up. You sit on your legs, keeping a tight hold on Eris’s hands, playing with his fingers.
You pull off one of his rings, sliding it on and off your own fingers, the warm metal soothing your cold hands.
He watches you for a moment, watches your fingers play with the rings he wears every day. He’s never understood your fascination with them, a nervous habit perhaps. He watches as you move the gold ring onto your thumb before pulling you into his arms. The feel of you settles him, and he can finally breathe deeply for the first time in weeks.
He holds you, pressing his face into the side of your neck, breathing in the scent of your hair. He pours what love and devotion he can down the bond, enjoying your presence before he can bring himself to ask why you’re here.
The two of you usually meet in his private cabin, miles and miles from the cruelties of the Forest House. He can’t recall if you’ve ever even been in his private chambers.
You pull back from him, shuffling around so you can sit in between his legs, back pressed to his chest. You know you have to tell him why you’re here, but you can’t look at him while you do it.
You’re not sure what you’ll find from him as you recount your tale.
You take in a breath, deciding to tell him what happened instead of letting him wait.
“Rhys found one of your letters,” you say, not able to look at him. “I was called away while I was reading one of them. It was foolish - I always hide them before leaving my room.”
Something warms in Eris’s chest at the thought of you, courts away from him, pouring over every word in the letters full of love you’d exchange between each other.
Much like he did every night.
“We got into a big fight, and he uh-“
Eris watches the tear slip out, sliding down your face.
“He told me I was no sister of his.”
Eris can’t help the snarl that comes from him, and you gingerly place a hand on his thigh, a motion he knows is grounding the both of you.
“What did his little lackeys have to say?” He spits out, unable to hide his contempt for them as he asks.
His dislike of Cassian and Azriel was no secret, but it took you a long time to coax out of him what about them he disliked.
“Truthfully, I found out how Illyrians treated females and it left a foul taste in my mouth,” he had told you once. It was all you could coax out of him, and perhaps that’s all there was to it.
At his core, Eris defined males by how they treated the females in their lives. Perhaps he assumed that Cassian and Azriel were the same as the other Illyrians and did not want to press further.
“They uh weren’t there,” you reply, “no one else was there. Perhaps he sent them all away so he could throw a fit.”
You laugh a little, thinking of just how red Rhysand’s face had gotten during your fight. You feel Eris’s head lay against your own, his fingers tangling into the strands of your hair.
“He was yelling, screaming about how I was defiling the family name by being with a Vanserra.” You sigh. “Then he began screeching about how you’re awful, you’re terrible, and ‘what about Mor’ and blah blah blah.”
“How’d you respond?” Eris asks, hands idly moving to hold onto yours in a soft grasp.
“I told him to ask Mor about what actually happened that day.”
He hums, allowing you to absentmindedly play with his fingers as you speak.
“He said that Mor would never lie to him. That she would never lie to any of us.” You blow out a breath, “then he said I had been cursed by the Mother to be mated to you.”
Eris knew the words were not your own, but the sound of them on your lips still stung deep in his chest.
“That’s when I told him to fuck off.”
Eris looks down at you as you peer back up at him, adoration, love, and a hint of sadness shines onto you through his gaze.
“We fought back and forth for a while after that. Then, after realizing I wasn’t giving up so easily, he gave me a choice.”
“My family name, my title, my claim to the throne, or you.”
Eris’s grip tightens. You two had spoken about what the worst outcomes would be if you were found out. Neither of you had ever expected Rhys to disown you.
Rhysand, who adored his little sister more than anything. Rhysand, who insisted you were an integral part of his life. Rhysand, who constantly ensured you were safe and happy.
He threw all that away the second he said you would never give up your tiara collection for Eris.
“Oh, my little fox.”
He peers down at you, your eyes wide as you peer up at him, your face upside down.
He knew he’d never get to love you wholly, unabashedly, publicly. He always knew something would come between you. He lets his gaze linger, memorizing the slope of your nose, the curve of your cheeks. His fingers move and, without his prompting, they start gliding across your face. They move as if he were studying it, preparing himself to have to recognize you in blindness.
To only see you in the darkest hour of the night, when his fingers can retrace these patterns, and pretend you’re next to him again.
He could, he thinks. He’d recognize you anywhere. His breath is shaky, knowing he will have to wait until you two are gone from this world to be together.
He would spend the entirety of his afterlife searching for you, in whatever form you took. If you were nothing more than stardust, a gentle whisper on the wind every Starfall, his flame would burn higher that day, reaching out for you one last time.
He resigns himself to these last few minutes with you, but he doesn’t feel the despair in his heart mirrored in your own.
You feel hopeful. You feel open.
He can’t ask, but you know he needs to hear it.
“I am no longer the Princess of the Night Court.”
Hot tears pour down his face, and he struggles to keep his mouth closed to keep from gasping at your decision. A tear falls onto your face beneath his, splashing across your cheek.
“I am officially without a name, without a home, and with no title,” your voice full of more determination than Eris could imagine, “I humbly ask if you could provide these things for me.”
A strangled sob breaks from him, and you twist in his arms to hold him. Surprise takes over your face, utter shock cascading through the bond before you can stop it.
Eris Vanserra, heir to the Autumn Court, a master of masks and facades, always playing the sly courtier three steps ahead. Never in all the years have you known him have you ever seen him so emotional.
Eris looks to the ceiling as you throw your arms around him, embracing him tightly. The heat from his hands was clawing at your back, but it didn’t burn.
You shushed him as he continued crying into your hair, the sight of him becoming undone such a shock to your system.
“I apologize, my love, deeply and truly.”
His hands stay on you, every inch of you needing to make that contact with him.
For so long, his life revolved around choices he was not privy to, choices that were not his. He was a pawn in an ever tiring game, one he was trying to make his way out of.
He presses you into him, unable to believe that someone, anyone, especially you, would choose him.
You chose him. You chose him the day the bond had snapped, and you chose him now, when everything was on the line for you.
He knew that he would make the same choice, putting everything on the line for you, preparing to finally take down Beron.
“I choose you too.”
#eris x you#acotar fanfiction#eris vanserra x you#eris vanserra x reader#eris x reader#eris x y/n#eris vanserra x y/n
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Hear me out, Lando being absolutely terrified by American!gf because she explains scary dog privileges (not being scared to walk at night because you have a scary dog or man with you) to him after a night out.
💗💗
-🐮
Hcs for this one (my dream dog is a rottweiler and you guys can deal lmao) (ill fox the formatting tomorrow)
Lando norris isn't exactly big scary boyfriend material
(Especially clean shaven)
The proof was in the pudding
Like that time that guy tried to mug them
Lando pushed him and she kicked him in the balls
But they had both been left a little rattled
It wasn't the reason they got Baloo
They were looking at getting a dog anyway
Well, she was looking at getting a dog
She looked at breeders on Facebook, shelters, everything
In the shelter she found Baloo
He was the most pathetic looking rottweiler ever
He just looked so damn sappy
She had to bring him home
Within half an hour he was on her lap, insisting on kisses
"I can't wait for you to meet your daddy, Baloo," she whispered and kissed him
Every time she took Baloo for a walk, people avoided her on the street
And then Lando came home from a race weekend
Baloo was on high alert as the door opened
He barked and that had her grabbing his collar, holding him back
"This is your daddy, Baloo," she insisted as Lando kept himself plastered to the door
"What the fuck is that?" He asked, voice full of fear
She rolled her eyes
"This is our son, Lando"
She let go of Baloo and he went bounding over to Lando to sniff and roll at his feet
"I thought we were getting a puppy," said lando as he stroked Baloo's belly
She shrugged her shoulders
"Scary dog privileges, Lan," she said
When she sat on the couch, Baloo joined her
"Scary dog privileges?" Lando echoed
She nodded
"He's gonna terrify people while we go on walks and stuff"
Lando walked over
He sat beside her and stroked down Baloo's back
"He's not coming in the bed with us, baby," he mumbled and tipped her chin toward him
"We'll see"
#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris x you#ln4#ln4 imagine#ln4 x reader#f1#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine
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18+ MDNI, fem!reader // cw: hybrids, predator/prey dynamic, mounting, sort of dubcon-ish, a hint of somnophilia, breeding, established relationship.
wc: 1.6k
fox hybrid!naruto is as playful as much as he is sneaky.
he follows you around the apartment; curiously peeking from behind the corners, watching your every move not because he’s skittish, but rather because he wants to learn how you behave when you think he’s not around.
he does it quite often for some reason. perhaps it’s the wild of the predator that’s coursing his blood or the naive wonder that’s just signature for his personality, who knows, but if you catch him by any chance — and you do, he isn’t nearly as slick as he thinks he is — he immediately comes over, wraps his arms around you from behind and makes sure to comfort you and nip your cheek or bottom lip with his sharp fangs after every kiss he gifts you in apology.
still, he continues his watch. he learns your patterns over time despite the fact that he has a habit of tripping over his own two feet and blowing his cover with all the noise it causes. he learns the way you move, the little quirks that you exhibit, the timing of them. he learns them all as a safety precaution which he doesn’t really need if you think about it.
after all, he could slam into you full force as a means to take over and could simply make you submit to his predatory instinct just like a couple of his apex predator friends had done with their own mates in the past. he’s well aware that he’d win if he did it that way; he’s no wolf or bear, but he’s still stronger and armored with a far bigger set of teeth than the one that currently sits in your mouth.
however, the problem is that you’re sneaky too.
you’re a tough little thing to grasp — hard to impress, even worse to court. are practically made to slip between a person’s fingers if they were to try and squeeze you into their fist without asking for permission to do so first. on top of all that, you being a cat hybrid amongst all the other possibilities available doesn’t help his situation either; it makes you exceptionally perceptive and equally as hard to dominate because of it. so troublesome!
and that’s not all there is to it. even your eyesight is spectacular, as is your awareness of your surroundings. the triangle-shaped ears that sit atop your head twitch and constantly angle in the direction of the smallest movement he makes. and naruto knows that they do, that they listen and assess the danger. he’s tested it out so many times during the course of your relationship.
the first step he takes towards you whenever your back is turned in his direction is also usually his last because of how fast you are to turn around to face him in mere seconds, rigid body language exhibiting high alert. he’s never even gotten the chance to fully sneak up on you yet, much less tackle you into a play fight.
this entire thing would be so much easier if you were a bunny. he’d push and you’d take it like a good little rabbit, the end. everyone knows that bunny hybrids practically throw themselves before the jaws of a predator and spread their strong legs just as willfully the moment their first heat comes into play.
but naruto, even whilst itching to conquer you because of the beast within, kind of digs the challenge a moody little kitty such as yourself brings to the table. especially when the effort that he’s put into all this preying finally manages to pay off.
actually, it enables him to catch you when you’re least expecting it — during your afternoon nap.
your feline behaviour really shines at its brightest when you doze off. instinctively drawn to warmth, he’s since learned that you always fall asleep in the patch of sunlight that spills through the window and onto the couch across the room when the days are clear and the curtains are pushed to the side. always in the same position, too. on your tummy, with your limbs relaxed and stretchy; tail swishing from side to side ever so slightly before going completely still. just like now.
oh shit, there it is; the sign he’s been waiting for!
your tail has stopped moving so that means you’re completely out for the next half hour, perhaps even more. he watches from a safe distance just to make sure, leaning against the doorway that leads into the living room and straining his fox ears as hard as he’s possibly able as a means to catch every sound.
thud, thud, thud. your heartbeat is calm, as is your breathing. you’re at ease while you sleep, he can not only hear it but see it too. open and vulnerable and trusting, allowing yourself to be caught completely off guard. you could almost pass as docile, the way you look right now, but he knows better — he’s been with you for long enough to know.
so he takes one step forward, slowly. toes, heel. nothing happens.
he takes another. all is well.
and then all of a sudden, before your heavy eyelids can get the chance to crack open at the sound of fast-approaching footsteps, and before you can come back to from the depths of the cozy catnap you were so pleasantly indulging in, naruto at long last makes his move.
your sweet fox boyfriend pins you down with his weight as he lays on top of you; he squeezes you flat against the couch until your cheek is pressing into its soft cushions. he’s warm and shirtless and his skin smells like the summery shower gel he must have washed himself with earlier, but he doesn’t seem to be scared of your claws that might come in contact with him, promising pain.
even his hair is still damp. a small droplet of water lands on your cheek when you try to turn your head to the side to look at him.
you hiss at him with prominent annoyance when it slides down the edge of your jaw, the action a subtle warning that clearly tells him to stop this nonsense right now, but he’s been expecting that, too. so he works quickly to try and tame you into submission, allowing instinct to take charge because it’s the only safe bet he has.
you’re surprised how easily he works his way around you and it’s entirely your fault. he doesn’t show how strong he actually is underneath all the shy caresses that he gives you and the nice grins and it makes you forget, giving you a false sense of authority that quickly diminishes when you’re the one experiencing that raw power on your own body.
so it’s no wonder that you stand no chance while he manhandles you and keeps you caged underneath him. that you feel utterly helpless while he drags your comfortable little shorts down your legs with zero problem; until they’re hanging off one ankle right along with your panties.
he frees his cock, fists it a couple of times with the help of some drool before he mounts you then, breathing hard and still making sure to avoid the claws you’re bound to sink into him the second he releases your wrists. he’s holding them both with just one hand, seemingly mocking your incompetency even further, albeit completely unintentionally.
and it’s true; he doesn’t mean it. naruto has never been mean-spirited like that despite the whole predator aspect that lives and roars beneath his gorgeous tan skin.
but foxes can be tricky.
so he holds his grip and they dig into the couch instead, your claws. they get caught in the blanket that you’re both sweating on top of now as his hips rut into you and yours follow the deep, almost animalistic rhythm even though your anger and pride tell you to stop, stop, fucking stop obeying him.
but you can’t stop, you’re forced to submit because he’s a bigger threat than you are; it’s just how your brain is wired. you bend to survive. it’s exactly like that situation with the scrawny mouse girl who you used to tease and endlessly make fun of back in high school.
how does it feel to be on the prey side, little kitty?
you’re unsure how to feel about this entire thing, it might be because your mind has slipped into a certain kind of haze. he fucks you like he’s never fucked you before and a prolonged mewl that you can’t hold back leaves your lips when his teeth sink into the crook of your neck all of a sudden, marking you.
the strap of your tank top is hanging off your shoulder, exposing you further, and his hot, greedy mouth follows the naked skin without a second thought, just biting, licking, sucking. marking.
he’s growling and snarling into your ear every time he slams into you, sounding like the exact opposite of himself. you’re no better either; you keep making so much noise that you’re ashamed of yourself. moaning and whining, squirming and thrashing underneath him. by the time he fills you up with his seed, you’ll probably start to purr.
just the thought alone makes you feral. the sudden urge to be bred and bear his children plagues your mind like the deadliest storm. imagining your pussy leaking his warm cum is simply too good while stuck in a lowly position such as this one.
his cock is throbbing inside you as he pounds into your slick cunt, trying to push its way into your fucking womb. he’s big and heavy, hot in your tummy and hard to fit. the adrenaline that he’s getting because of the complete control he now has over you is surely exciting him enough to make him see god.
he probably won’t see god, though.
oh no, you’ll make sure to drag this wicked fox into the very depths of hell the second his knot stops swelling and he releases you from his iron-like grip.
#i had to get this outta my system cos it’s been eating me alive fjdjdjhd#naruto smut#naruto x reader#naruto uzumaki x reader#naruto uzumaki smut#biscuit drabbles#cw hybrids#cw dubcon#cw somnophilia#cw breeding
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them as hybrids, TXT.
featuring — txt members x gn!reader ( masterlist )
summary — headcanons of what hybrids the txt boys would be and how they act around you!
contents — fluff, cute hybrid boys, no warnings.
soobin ✿ bunny hybrid
⟶ gentle aura: as a rabbit hybrid, soobin is soft-spoken and exudes calmness, putting everyone around him at ease. ⟶ loves quiet spaces: prefers cozy, quiet environments where he can relax and feel safe (preferably with/near you). ⟶ alert to surroundings: his long bunny ears twitch at the slightest noise, making him hyper-aware of his environment. ⟶ loyal companion: soobin thrives in close-knit relationships, showing loyalty and care to you from the moment you took him in. ⟶ shy at first: he can be a bit timid, and needed time to be completely comfortable with you, but soon became inseparable. ⟶ cares deeply: will hold you tight and nudge you gently with his nose when he senses if you’re upset, offering silent comfort. ⟶ herbivore diet: snacks constantly on vegetables, fruits, and leafy greens, always offering to share. ⟶ fast reflexes: despite his calm demeanor, he’s quick on his feet when startled by any noise around the house. ⟶ loves cuddles: enjoys being petted behind the ears, or burying his face in your stomach and will nuzzle into you for affection. ⟶ burrow maker: has a habit of building cozy nests out of blankets and pillows in your bed and will only sleep with you.
yeonjun ✿ fox hybrid
⟶ playfully mischievous: as a fox hybrid, yeonjun loves teasing and pulling harmless pranks, enjoying your reactions and expressions. ⟶ clever and strategic: known for his wit, he often cunningly makes you spend extra time with him and keeps you wrapped around his finger. ⟶ charming personality: his fox-like smirk and sparkling eyes make him irresistibly charming and impossible to say no to. ⟶ protective nature: yeonjun becomes fiercely protective of you, and rarely even leaves you alone around the house. ⟶ night owl: prefers being active at night, with boundless energy after sunset which he often spends watching you sleep. ⟶ pride in appearance: frequently grooms himself and uses expensive hybrid products to ensure his fur is sleek and shiny. ⟶ loves adventures: enjoys exploring new places wherever you live and discovering hidden spots with you. ⟶ playful pouncing: has a habit of pouncing on you playfully when excited, catching you off guard. ⟶ eats like a gourmet: has a preference for rich, flavorful foods and often “borrows” snacks from you. ⟶ soft underneath: despite his bold demeanor, yeonjun seeks cuddles and reassurance when feeling vulnerable which is everyday.
beomgyu ✿ squirrel hybrid
⟶ energetic and playful: beomgyu is always moving, chattering excitedly and sitting perched on high counters and furniture. ⟶ hoarding habit: stashes away small trinkets and snacks in the most unexpected places out of habit. ⟶ social butterfly: thrives in group settings, especially when you bring friends over, always liking being the center of attention. ⟶ playfully annoying: loves poking, randomly nuzzling and teasing you just to see you smile or roll your eyes. ⟶ curious nature: investigates everything with a bright-eyed enthusiasm, often getting into minor mischief. ⟶ quick reflexes: beomgyu is agile and fast, he darts around with squirrel-like precision and often helps you cook. ⟶ fluffy tail pride: takes immense pride in his fluffy tail, often flaunting it with a cheeky grin and brushing it on your face at times. ⟶ loves snacks: always munching on nuts, seeds, or snacks, and loves sharing them with you by forcefully popping them in your lips. ⟶ cuddly when tired: after expending his energy, he curls up beside you, seeking warmth, cuddles and affection. ⟶ cheeky charm: his playful antics are balanced by his heartfelt moments of affection, making him impossible to stay mad at.
taehyun ✿ cat hybrid
⟶ independent streak: taehyun values his space but loves being near you too. you often wake up to him in your bed despite him going to sleep in a different room. ⟶ sharp intellect: as a cat hybrid, his analytical mind is always working, observing everything around him curiously. ⟶ silent protector: keeps a close eye on you from afar when you do tasks he deems dangerous (like cooking?), stepping in only when necessary which is every time he sees you handling knives. ⟶ selective affection: chooses when and where to show his love, making his rare cuddles all the more special not counting the times he nuzzles and hugs you while you sleep shhh you can never know. ⟶ picky eater: has refined tastes like expensive fish and specific meat cuts, and turns his nose up at anything subpar. ⟶ agile and graceful: moves with cat-like precision, rarely making a noise, so he startles you often because you don’t see him coming. ⟶ loves warm spots: seeks out sunlight or warm corners to nap in, often dragging you along. ⟶ playful bouts: engages in bursts of playful energy, chasing after strings or playfully batting at your hands and chasing you sometimes. ⟶ subtle comfort: rubs his head against you and scents at your neck when he senses you’re upset, offering quiet solace. ⟶ protective of his territory: gets defensive if he feels someone is intruding on your relationship, his sharp gaze a clear warning.
huening kai ✿ puppy hybrid
⟶ excitable and happy: huening kai’s tail wags quickly whenever he sees you, his joy infectious and unashamed. ⟶ loves attention: always seeks your approval and thrives on your praise for even the smallest things, so ends up being helpful around the house. ⟶ playful and clumsy: frequently trips over his own feet during his enthusiastic antics, laughing it off with a grin. ⟶ loyal companion: kai stays by your side no matter what, always eager to cheer you up and make you laugh. ⟶ adventurous spirit: loves exploring and experiencing new things with you, holding your hand tight and bounding ahead with excitement. ⟶ cuddly by nature: enjoys curling up beside you whether in public or private, resting his head on your lap or shoulder. ⟶ eats anything: has a big appetite for food and enjoys sharing snacks, often begging with puppy eyes for extras. ⟶ big heart: comforts you in the sweetest ways, like gently licking your hand or leaning against you when you’re down. ⟶ protective instinct: stands in front of you, growling softly if he senses any threat, his ears tilted back. ⟶ endearing clinginess: follows you around, never wanting to be far from your side, his affection limitless. * bonus: he calls you like ten times from your home phone when you’re out, reminding you that he’s at home and he misses you.
notes: the hybrid trope is my favorite ever! tell me if you guys want to see me headcanon other groups!
#txt#reactions#txt x reader#txt headcanons#txt fluff#txt fanfic#soobin x reader#soobin headcanons#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun headcanons#beomgyu x reader#beomgyu headcanons#taehyun x reader#taehyun headcanons#hueningkai x reader#hueningkai headcanons#txt imagines#txt preferences#txt reactions
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The Fox and The Fawn
High Lord Eris x Rhys!Sister!Reader x Azriel
Part Three
Summary - After Azriel and Nesta return from their mission you find them being as watchful as ever, and it turns out that celebrations weren’t always destined to be joyous.
Warnings - angst, fluff, flirting, slight suggestive tones
Part One Part Two
Sunlight curled around your forearm, tugging you and willing you to step outside and bask in her glory.
Ignoring her, you again focused on the matter that held your attention.
“Say it with me, Nyx,” your hands were delicately placed under his arms, holding him in place on your lap. Nyx looked at you with wide eyes and blushed chubby cheeks, dark hair weeping from sleep, his little wings flapping behind him and small digits reaching to furl into your hair, “Auntie y/n is the most powerful.”
Nyx babbled incoherently and you shrugged, cuddling him into your chest and inhaling that smell that made your heart clench with want. It was so fresh, a perfect amalgamation of Rhys and Feyre but also something utterly pure and unique to him, “Close enough, I suppose.”
A certain type of ferocity had consumed you the moment Nyx had been born, there was no one that could guard him better than you. Perhaps that was why Rhys rarely cared when you would pick up the child and whisk him away in on one of your adventures, that being you’d walk him around the city and take him for ice cream all whilst trying (and failing) to ensure that the first thing to fall from his lips would be your name.
Sunlight speckled through the stained glass panes of the library, it was sometime around noon, and you had swooped Nyx from his cot that morning before Feyre or Rhys could realise it. No one would dare to meddle with your time with your nephew.
Three days had passed since Azriel had left you with nothing but a whisper of a kiss on your brow, it had been three days of silence, three days of Rhys acting as your shadow and you letting him believe that you didn't notice his intense gaze settled upon you whenever you entered the room. The Circle had been suspicious, whispering in corners and sparing you the odd sidelong glance before resuming their hushed bickering, even Feyre, who you believed wouldn't be one of those people, was also taking part.
It seemed as though Lucien was your only friend, he actively sought you out, he had noticed your reluctance and need to hide yourself away so distracted your mind by asking about Eris, about what you spoke of. Of course Lucien knew you wouldn't divulge any details, but seeing your eyes sparkle and a soft smile form on your lips was enough to make him believe that you at least had one good thing occupying your mind these days.
A sonnet of brisk air alerted you to another presence slipping through the library doors, Nyx perked up in your arms, and you knew instantly from that and the scent of night-kissed air that Rhys was stood somewhere behind you. Your nerves stood on end as he rounded where you both sat, casting his shadow over your forms, "You stole him again," Rhys' voice was cold and distant, but he cocked his head to the side and grinned at his son, placing his finger in Nyx's hand and shaking it gently.
"Is it so terrible of me to want to spend some time with my nephew?" Rhys hummed and reached for the child, you went to shield him from your brother but relented when Rhys' gaze set alight in warning and gave in, relaxing your grip and feeling that pained void when the wriggling child was snatched from you.
Rhys settled Nyx into his chest, resting his chin atop the crown of his head and looked down on you with his usual wariness, "We have been invited to the Day Court this evening. Helion has requested your presence."
Narrowing your eyes at him, you surveyed his face for any signs of deception, "What's the occasion?" Rhys turned his back to you, sweeping Nyx from your sight, muttering something about a birthday.
It was too odd. First Azriel and Nesta being sent away, the entire family being odd and secretive, then being beckoned to the Day Court? Something wasn't right, and you certainly did not want to spend your evening watching Helion beg Azriel and Cassian for some kind of soul-enlightening orgy.
Once Rhys had stepped out of the room, you threw up your shield and floated toward the desk, once again ignoring the sun beckoning you outside and finding an odd scrap of parchment to scribe upon, scratching your message out and letting it devour itself into ash and float away.
I need your opinion on something.
A minute passed and you spied an autumn-scented piece of cream tinged paper wedged beneath an old leather bound book.
Is that all you need from me?
Smirking, you replied with a matching amount of seductiveness. That was how your conversations had been going, light and always full of mischief, but Eris was always poised to listen to your words, he was always ready to help you if you even thought of asking him for it.
For now.
Tell me what's on your mind, Fawn.
Hesitating, your quill hovered over the paper as you debated whether or not to tell him what the past three days had been like without Azriel and Nesta. The hushed words and glares, your loneliness and desire to lock yourself away. Was it divulging Night Court secrets or just your own?
I feel out of place here. I feel like I'm being punished for helping you. Rhys sent Azriel and Nesta away, and the rest of them are avoiding me more than usual. Cassian hasn't invited me to training, Mor hasn't come to my rooms to gossip, even Rhys took Nyx from my arms only a few minutes ago. It's like I'm poison that they need to dispel from their lives and I just want to lock myself away and disappear.
Watching the clock, you counted down the seconds until another note found its way to you.
I know Rhys sent them away because I found them poking around my boarders the evening before last. And, you're not poison, Little Fawn, locking yourself away only means that they win, and you're far too important to let the infantile actions of your family diminish everything that you are. Don't forget that. No one controls you but you, y/n, the world is yours if you would only ask for it.
Would you give me the world if I asked for it?
I would burn the world to ash if you asked me to. There is nothing that I would not give you.
Heart fluttering in your chest, you slumped back into the comfort of the antique armchair that you had told Cassian off more times than not for using it as a stool for his feet.
Will you be there tonight? At the Day Court?
I will.
Will you find me?
Always.
The shield around you pulsated with force and you furrowed your brow at the shimmering ripples that swam across its surface. Dull thumps echoed within your bubble, and a muffled voice called out to you. Glancing down at the note in your fingers, you turned it into black mist that curled around your fingers and danced upward to the sky and lowered the guard.
You could have cried with relief. Azriel stood before you, still clad in his second skin, blue siphons glowing like he had entered just entered Velaris and had immediately sought you out before reporting to Rhys. Azriel knew what was more important.
"You're back," you breathed as you walked into his awaiting arms, arms that wrapped around your waist and fingers that raked through your hair with a hint of desperation.
Your heart seized in your chest, needing to feel at home and at peace. But it didn't. A lump formed in your throat and a pit opened in your stomach and pooled with unease.
Azriel pulled away from you, his hazel eyes scoured your face but they held something awoken in them, like he saw you differently. His fingers floated over the surface of your skin, up the inky bargain that encased your upper arm which matched his own and across your collarbone, but he didn't touch you there as though as if he were worried that you would mar his hands further.
You took a step back, "What's wrong?"
He'd found something on his travels, something that was making him look at you differently, in a way he had never looked at you, with fear, with sadness.
Azriel's brows etched together, his eyes flowing up and down your form, noticing something off about you. Your scent. The scent of Autumn, of Eris, lingered on your fingertips, the same fingers that were wrapped around his neck moments ago. You hid your hands behind your back.
"Nothing. I just wanted to see you," even his voice was laced with his deception, his shoulders went rigid like a putrid smell had entered his nose, and he visibly shivered, "I should go and talk to Rhys. I'll find you later?"
Feigning innocence, you called, "Was the mission alright, at least? Where did you end up going?"
Azriel turned back to you, lingering in the doorway before your portrait, "It was fine," he forced a tight lipped smile, it was almost as if he had forgotten how observant you were, and how well you knew him. Still, you kept your eyes full of that doe eyed wonder that threw him off and lured him right into your talons. If he was going to lie to you, then there was no harm in aiding your own agenda, "Rhys sent us to keep an eye on some happenings in Spring. Tamlin has been expanding his armies."
A lie. A blatant attempt of deception. One that didn't stick.
Anger bubbled within you, Azriel had never lied to you, your bond was supposed to be too special for those kind of games. Instead of allowing it to bubble over, you inhaled deeply and kept your hands folded behind your back, "Well, I'm glad you're home. I missed you."
The Shadowsinger relaxed his features and almost looked as though he wanted to move to you, to gather you up in his arms and protect you from whatever was clearly heading your way. But he didn't, instead, he spoke to you softly, "I missed you too, y/n," and disappeared from your view.
A feeling of impending pain, perhaps not physical, lodged itself deep within your soul, almost strong enough to steal the air from your lungs. Clasping you hand around the ledge of the large oak desk, you hunched over and attempted to fill your lungs with oxygen, tears prickled at the corners of your eyes and for the first time in your life, your own sanctuary was suffocating you.
Nesta had greeted you with the same apprehension as Azriel had, although, at least she had made it clear that she didn't want to.
Even the walls were watching you, craning their gaze to follow your figure through the house. The only safe space was your room, so that's where you were, nestled between the cushions and watching the candlelight flicker against the cream coated walls whilst Nesta paced about the space, showing you countless dresses on their hangers since you were making no move to look yourself.
Your friend was dressed in head-to-toe black, a form fitting garment with a long slit up the right side and a neckline so plunging that it left little to the imagination. Her coronet was tightly woven, and two thick strands curled around her jaw to frame her sharp features. Blood red lips, arched brows, eyes full of anticipation.
"You have to choose one, y/n."
Ignoring her command, you turned your head to her and she knew what you wanted to know before you even asked, "Are you going to lie to me too?"
Nesta froze, allowing the hanger to fall at her side along with the silver garment attached to it, "What do you want to know?"
"I want to know why Azriel lied to me about where you both went, and I want to know why all of you are suddenly treating me like a stranger," Nesta exhaled shakily, and it was the first time that you had truly seen her stoic demeanour perish before your eyes; she glanced about the room with worry, like she too could sense the house pressing its ear up against your door, "It's safe to speak. Not even the house can hear us."
The elder Archeron sister perched on the edge of your bed, noting your hunched over figure as you hugged your knees close to your chest, it was clear that your exclusion by everyone was making you feel lesser than. Nesta rested her hand atop the comforter, almost reaching for you, but also not at all; Nesta struggled to find the words, to tell you some form of truth without shattering you, "If it ever comes to it, you know I will protect you, don't you?"
"I used to believe that."
Nesta shuffled up the bed and spoke in a hushed tone, "Rhys has been trying to understand you, where all of your power came from and why he only has a fraction of it. He asked us to go Under The Mountain, to see if Amarantha did something else to you other than take your wings. Males would stop at nothing to harness the power that you have."
Under The Mountain was a hazy memory, one that you'd rather not remember at all. You rolled your shoulders, feeling the marred flesh rippling at the action, "Is that what Rhys wants to do? To harness my power? Is that why I've been so hidden?"
Nesta didn't want to answer, but she couldn't keep it from you, unlike Azriel, Nesta remembered your observance, how nothing got past those fire ringed violet orbs, "I don't know what he wants to do with what he finds," she told you honestly, her stoic hatred for him returning to her features, "I didn't go to aid him, y/n. I went so that I could find whatever he wants to know and give it to you. Protect you."
At least one of them was on your side, and you supposed it would have always been Nesta, Azriel was too loyal to the Night Court, and despite your bargain, he would always protect Velaris first and worry about you later.
"Did you find anything?"
Nesta sighed, "Azriel didn't," but she certainly had, "Not now. Now, you wear the most incredible thing you can find and we go to the Day Court and wear the masks that we have to in order to survive another day."
The dress in her fingers, still on its cushioned pearlescent hanger, was a shade of blue-grey that you rarely wore. The bodice was like armour, perfectly fitted and boned, crystals were embedded into the curve of the breastplate and trickled down the deep seated opening that only met just above the bellybutton, exposing the taut muscle and cleavage beneath. From the point where the fabric met at the lower abdomen, the skirt curved upward over the hips and each ridge of fabric acted as a branch, curving upward and cascading down the back, pooling on the floor. The skirt was frosted, diamonds coated the branches of the skirt and curled around the hem which trailed along the floor, and a long central slit sliced upward, enough to expose the legs you knew most males would crumble for, but also little enough to keep your dignity in tact.
It was a spectacular thing that your mother had made. Perhaps the most.
Nesta helped you into the piece, slithering it up your form and humming in appreciation about how well it fit you. The sleeveless garment was certainly made for you, and she secured a diamond necklace around your neck and rested her hands on your shoulders.
Loose curls bounced with every step, Nesta had braided two thick sections and pinned them upward, pulling the skin of your face backward, and had even gone as far as to bless your face in neutral shimmering cosmetics.
The room fell silent when you stepped into the living area, Cassian's once bellowing laughter turned to molten nothingness, Mor's quips dissipated, Rhys' loving words to Feyre who was entangled in his arms were ash in his mouth, even Azriel couldn't speak as his own eyes poured over you.
Paying little mind to the stares of your family, you turned your attention to Lucien who was stood in the corner leaning against a wooden beam with his arms folded over his chest, smirking, "Shall we? I'd hate to waste an outfit like this on people who couldn't even begin to appreciate it the way it deserves to be."
Lucien bit back his laugh and took your arm after a gentle nod from Elain who knew, and despised, how you were being treated. Under his breath Lucien muttered, "You're playing with fire, y/n."
Leading him from the house and onto the lawn, you turned your gaze upward to him, appreciating his beauty and the tied back hair that Elain had no doubt tailored to him, "Perhaps. But I won't be the one who gets burned."
The Day Court Palace had always had the ability to take your breath away, the home alone was enough to convince you that relocating would be a good idea. Maybe it was the white marble pillars so brilliantly white and tall that they kissed the sky, or maybe it was the cloudless skies that washed you in orange bliss the moment you appeared at the foot of the steps.
Even the breeze was welcoming, dancing around your arms and shoulders before moving onward. A weight had shifted within you, and you realised that it was because the Day Court had no reason to watch you like Velaris did, that for the first time in months you were actually free of eyes constantly watching you.
You didn't look back to see if everyone had landed alright when you began to ascend the steps, completely breaking protocol and sauntering upward to where you could hear music and laughter bubbling. Two familiar presences fell in step with you, Nesta and Lucien, the former to your left and the latter to your right, and you all ignored the claws scraping down the walls of your minds commanding you to return to your positions.
Music swirled around you as you paced down the hallway, being mindful of the multiple pairs of feet scuffling behind you until a hand wrapped around your wrist and tugged you back with force. Rhys loomed over you, eyes ablaze and snarl conformed to his lips, nostrils flaring with each breath, "What do you think you're doing?"
Nesta fell to your side, ready to take down the High Lord by any means necessary, Cassian was glaring at her and moved closer to Rhys, "I think that you're the one who should be answering that question, brother."
The air around you both grew heavy, it pulsated with dark energy that emitted from you both, but yours drowned his own and pierced him with its talons, making him feel weak and weary, "Remove your hand before I make you," and he did, his hand dropped from your wrist, "What a good little High Lord you are, Rhys. Father would be so proud of you."
Unspoken words flew between you, ones that told him that you knew what he was doing, that he was seeking to control you and always had, just as your father did.
Azriel had, unsurprisingly, moved to Rhys' other side, his gaze low and body ready to cut you down, he was blocking Feyre from view but she peeked over his shoulder just as Mor did with Cassian.
Power pulsated around you like a heartbeat, black began to move from your fingertips and tinge your veins with their ink from your fury, and Rhys' faltered at the sight of it, his eyes blew wide open and he found your darkened eyes zoning in on him, the violet had turned almost black and that ring of fire was blazing, "You need to calm down, y/n."
"Don't you dare," Nesta growled, placing her hands on your shoulders and turning you away, whispering to you and soothing you whilst Lucien stood up to Rhys.
Lucien's gaze was cold, his mechanical eye whirred as he took in the scene before him, of the High Lord flanked by his soldiers, needing to protect him from his own flesh and blood, "Tell me, Rhys," he found Rhys' gaze again, that constantly disapproving thing that followed you everywhere, "Tell me how what you're doing to her, to your own sister, is any different than what Tamlin did to Feyre."
Silence.
Bone dry silence consumed them, and when Lucien turned to see where you and Nesta had gone to, he only saw the train of your dress slip around the corner of the door toward the sound of freedom.
The room had turned to you as soon as you had entered with Nesta by your side, and not in a wary on edge way, in one of awe and adoration. Eris lingered by the dais, dressed in dark grey pants and white shirt, grey waistcoat and matching jacket which adorned silver swirls.
All anger evaporated from you as soon as his russet eyes found you, they washed over you with concern, no doubt seeing the blackened fingertips and sadness in your own orbs that had returned to their usual hue. He looked beautiful, more so than you remembered, more beautiful than the version of him that settled within your dreams.
You moved to the dais and greeted Helion, you had gone to bow to him, as custom when visiting other courts, but he didn't let you, "You bow for no one, especially when you look like that," he had always taken every opportunity to flirt with you, and he always held a certain resentment for Rhys for refusing your hand to him.
"Thank you for inviting us, I hope you've had a wonderful birthday," you folded his hands in your own and felt his healing touch worm its way into every negative pocket in your body, feeling lighter, more grounded.
The doors opened again, and you turned to see Rhys stalk up the centre of the hall closely followed by the rest of his Inner Circle. As if sensing your discomfort, Eris took a step up and offered a hand to you, and you gladly took it, stepping down from the foot of the dais to allow Rhys to have his moment with his friend, and not once did Cassian or Azriel's eyes move from you.
Lucien reached his brother and whispered into his ear, "I need to talk to you. Now," Eris frowned and peered to you, noting your fluttering eyelids and the unease that radiated from you and nodded, moving to follow Lucien who sent you a reassuring smile before they exited the hall.
If it weren't for Nesta stood beside you, you surely would have crumbled. She stared down her own mate and friends, head dipped low and staring at them through her brows, anger seethed from her and you knew she was going over the consequences of ending Rhys' existence right there and then in her mind. Nesta was Lady Death and you were the Queen of Darkness.
For the next hour you stuck to the walls of the hall, muttering polite hellos as you did your best to keep a safe distance between you and Rhys.
The architecture was stunning, white marble walls and golden chandeliers, pale wood round tables stacked with sparkling wine flutes and food, long benches full of revellers enjoying the festivities. Artwork delicately hung from the walls, glittering in the crystal tinted glow of the chandeliers, sparkling in the light as the skies grew dark beyond the open arches.
Helion's bellowing laughter floated about the room, and you wondered how a life in Day could have turned out for you. Though, you didn't have long to think of it before a hand curled around your forearm and gently pulled you from the room. Eris was in front of you, gingerly holding your arm in his hand as he led you down a flurry of corridors, peering down each one quickly to ensure it was safe to go there.
The High Lord led you all the way out to a private balcony, where you could hear the waves crashing against the rocks and the breeze flutter around the corner. The torchlight danced in the wind, flickering softly as he turned to you. Breathing in, you felt peace, that autumn pine and orange, wilting leaves and warm autumn rain.
Sighing, you felt tears pool in your vision, turning it slightly blurry as you tried to drink him in, "Lucien told me what happened. Are you alright?"
That singular question broke a little piece of you, you couldn't remember the last time some asked if you were alright and were actually invested in the answer. The concern in his eyes and brows made a soft tug pull at your soul, "I'm suffocating."
Eris waited for you to continue, keeping a distance he thought you'd be comfortable with between you, though all you wanted was to know what his arms around you would feel like, what it would feel like to have his lips pressed to the bare skin of your shoulder.
"They've been lying to me, all of them. Nesta confirmed it. Rhys doesn't understand why he only has a fraction of my power, he sent them Under The Mountain to see if Amarantha did other things to me when she held me hostage in the beginning. I feel like a prisoner in my own home, they're all scared of me, even Azriel," your voice broke, never in a million years, in your existence, did you ever think you'd voice that Azriel was scared of you.
"None of them want to touch me or speak to me. I can't do it anymore. I thought Rhys just wanted to protect me, but now I know it was never about that, it was about keeping me hidden and away from everyone else, he made me a prisoner and I didn't even know it."
Wrapping your arms around yourself, your tears flowed freely down your cheeks and you made no move to wipe them away. Eris took a step closer to you, his shadow waltzing with your own, "Can I touch you?"
It took you a moment, a moment of his russet eyes on you and fingers fidgeting at his side until you nodded softly and he raised his hand. His fingertips lightly dusted up your arms and neck, they curled your hair around them and grazed along your jaw, and you felt electric under his touch that spready across every single part of you. His breath was warm over your face and you took a moment to appreciate him, his godly-crafted cheekbones and jaw, eyes that told a million stories, the golden freckled skin and his curved lips.
"I'm not afraid of you, Little Fawn. Nothing about you scares me," his finger curled under your chin and angled your head upward, "All you need to do is say the words. You are the author of your own story. Tell me what you want."
Rhys had let you believe that you had free will, he had allowed you to be outspoken and poised, he had let you believe that you were nothing more than a scare tactic, and you were too enthralled with your so-called family to realise what he had done. There was nothing free about your life, you weren't allowed to leave Velaris without supervision and even such occasions were rare, you weren't called upon in battle until there was no other choice, you were a pawn to him, one that he had masterfully toyed with.
"I want to go to the Autumn Court. With you. I want to denounce my place in the Night Court and leave Velaris," the words felt like poison in your mouth but your soul was thankful for it, and the storm in your soul had already began to break with golden sunlight.
Eris nodded and took a step toward you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest, your hands were flat against his waistcoat that had once again matched your own attire perfectly, "Your wish is my command, Little Fawn," and then you both disappeared in a swirl of light, leaving nothing but the joint bliss of your scents behind and dancing away in the night-kissed breeze.
Author's Note
I hope you love this! x
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the defiance of a life spent almost in touch
geto x reader ✾ 15.7k ✾ part one of two ✾ ao3 link
info! (canon au, haibara lives and geto never defects.) Your cursed technique allows you to read people—to see into their minds—when you touch them. It's not pleasant, but to jujutsu society, it's useful. Which means you end up in close proximity to Geto Suguru, who you've been avoiding for nearly a decade since seeing just how frightening it is inside his head. Though it's something you vowed never to repeat, it seems that there are powerful people vested in having you read him once again. ✾ tw! reader is scared of geto, typical jjk gore/violence, geto is. mentally unwell. like he didn't defect but he's Wrong ✾ notes! part two should be out end of january!!!
When the jujutsu higher-ups ask you for help, they always send Kento, because you have a hard time saying no to him.
To his credit, he always looks sorry. You have the number of every other sorcerer you know blocked. He still comes in person because he knows the blow will be softer if you can complain to him after. He drives you to the appointed location, a small town on the border of Yamanashi Prefecture. The ride is mostly silent. When the car stops in front of a small, traditional house, Kento sighs deep, a sound you got so well acquainted with in high school that you can still conjure it in your mind on command.
A familiar look: why are you doing this. Another: you can say no.
“You know why I have to,” you say.
The sigh again. “Fair enough.”
You left jujutsu society for a few reasons.
The first: your cursed technique is useless in a fight. You had to rely on strength and agility alone, which got you to Grade B—but you saw what happened to Haibara. The higher-ups send lower grade sorcerers out as a test, a toe in the water. They misjudged the grades of so many curses that at a certain point, you started to suspect that they were making it all up. That they had no way to accurately measure the strength of a curse until it had drawn a sorcerer’s blood. You didn’t want to be a body in a hospital bed, cut so deep through the middle that you had claw marks on the inside of your spine.
Haibara lived, but not without consequences.
The second: three men wait inside the house you’ve been called to. The window that alerted the higher-ups, a non-sorcerer passed out on the ground—and him. Geto smiles warmly when he sees you. You used to like his smiles before you saw the inside of his head. Now all you see is fox teeth hidden behind a stretched mouth.
Though your cursed technique isn’t useful in a fight, it’s still useful. Skin-to-skin contact allows you a look into another person’s mind. Just flashes, and nothing specific, but it’s helpful when the only witnesses you have are comatose or otherwise indisposed. You’re allowed a normal life for these few visitations. The higher-ups don’t bother you anymore. Even Gojo stopped asking you to come back and teach somewhere along the line, distracted by things more (or less, knowing him) important than your existence.
Geto never tried. You can at least respect him for that.
He explains to you that six people have been found in the same state as the man in front of you. It’s not a normal coma—something is smothering their soul, stretching it far from their body. As if they’re standing on the sidewalk across the street from themselves, watching the inside of their head through a lit window in the middle of the night. You’d forgotten what Geto’s voice sounded like, all friendly tones and half-hidden condescension.
When you touch the unconscious man, you don’t see anything at first, which is odd. His wrist is clammy and cold, his whole body covered in sweat. You briefly wonder if his soul is so disconnected that you won’t be able to read him.
And then, memories: noodles in warm broth, a pair of leather shoes with buckles, a live wire at the power plant, what it would feel like to put your hands on it?, to feel electricity for the first time in so long?, to take something into you r body that was never supposed to be there?, hands wrapped around spark-soaked copper—
Outside, you throw up behind a camellia bush. Bile burns your throat, the roof of your mouth. The flowers smell of putrid rot when you know they shouldn’t. Cold air digs needles into your cheeks, so you’re stinging inside and out. Kento hadn’t given you enough notice for you to skip breakfast, but the higher-ups hadn’t given him any notice that they’d need you.
People are predisposed to show you either wants or memories. Never both, for reasons beyond your understanding. Memories are worse than wants. They burrow deeper, which makes them harder to expel.
Instinct tells you the hand is coming before it connects, and you dodge contact—Geto at your shoulder, asking if you’re alright. He doesn’t miss that you flinch away from him. “I’d have brought a bucket inside if I knew,” he tells you. His face says: I’m sorry for overlooking this detail. He’s very good at lying with it.
“It’s at the power plant,” you say. “Whatever’s causing this.”
“Do you want to read any of the others before you go?” The question feels cruel. His face says it isn’t.
You shake your head and leave without a word.
Kento drops you off at your building and you thank him. You could invite him up easily. The two of you have known each other for so long, have experienced so much together, that being with him feels natural. It’s possible to turn off your brain around him, to touch him and only experience the smallest flashes of memory.
You thank him and say good night.
It would be selfish. You would give anything to be the kind of person that could be a good partner to him. He’s an easy man to love, which is exactly why you can never love him. You’re difficult, a puzzle that comes with a sizable warning.
When you fall asleep in your cramped apartment, you see soup and silver buckles, live wires and burning flesh.
✾
An unknown number calls when you’re at work. You pick up because it breaks the monotony of clicking around account records and absorbing none of the numbers on the screen.
“Are you busy?” the person on the line asks, and you realize you never blocked Geto’s number because you never had it in the first place.
You tell him you’re not, even though you have a project deadline this week. If you sit in this closet-turned-office for five more minutes you’re going to explode all over the walls. You're not sure why you entertain him—why you didn't just hang up the second you heard his voice. There's something about him that compels you. A terrible, morbid curiosity that sometimes, when you're not looking directly at him, overrides your fear.
He meets you at the same house as last time, but today there’s no window. Just you and him. Kento didn’t drive you. For some odd reason, you thought there’d be someone else here, as if jujutsu society at large should know that you always need a buffer when it comes to Geto. A witness. And you realize that despite the curiosity, despite the compulsion, you should never have entertained this man on the phone for more than ten seconds. You shouldn't be here. You keep your keys spiked between your fingers, as if you’d ever be able to stop one of the most powerful sorcerers alive from doing whatever he wanted with you.
“I didn’t find anything at the power plant,” he says, leading you down a wooded path behind the house. You emerge onto a dirt road on the other side, a near-identical house sitting before you, its sloping, tiled roof dripping with excess morning rain. “Have you had lunch?”
You shake your head. He smiles with his hidden fox teeth.
The man you read this time is just as feverish as the other, but his wrist is hot. This isn’t relevant to reading a person, but you notice these things because you touch people so infrequently. Each time you do it’s a research experience, notes taken inside your head, recorded to compare against other studies you’ve done over the years.
The memories are instant: rough hands that have hardened from years of manual labor, watching baseball with the other construction workers after projects done in town, your daughter moving to Tokyo for college, radishes that she used to grow in the backyard that she boiled and roasted every day after harvest, and who will you eat them with now? and who will grow them? and who will you make your hands rough for? you don’t like baseball.
Pulling away from the man’s mind is like extracting yourself from honey in the process of crystallizing. His consciousness clings to you as you leave, trying its best to suck you back in. You’re the only company it’s had in a while.
“I didn’t get anything,” you say, and your voice is rough. Your throat burns even though you didn’t throw up.
Geto sits in one of the two plastic folding chairs in the house’s main room. He plays with the piece of his hair that’s loose from his bun, twirling it between slim fingers. You haven’t seen him in a jujutsu tech uniform since high school, though you’re pretty sure Gojo still wears one daily. Geto’s always in crisp white or black button-downs, slacks, expensive oxfords. Maybe playing dress-up makes him feel less like a sorcerer and more like a human.
“I can try again,” you say, and you’re not sure why. It’s for this suffering man, you think, even though your savior complex was left behind with the jujutsu world.
“You don’t have to,” Geto says, dropping the strand of hair and leaning forward. His language is careful. He’s not telling you no. The way he watches you, elbows on his knees, hands clasped in the middle, makes you feel like you’re being tested.
You try again. This time: getting your wedding ring engraved, sitting on the porch in late spring sipping on plum wine, nearly crying when you see your daughter playing with the girls that have caused the town so much misfortune, the relief when they ’re finally gone, the relief when your daughter brings new best friends home and their eyes aren’t shadowed and sharp and too old for their sockets—
Retching is your second-least favorite thing, right behind actually vomiting. Your body rejects the images you’ve seen, trying to empty your stomach before the memories can begin to digest.
You tell Geto what you saw.
His question: “Does he remember what happened to the girls?”
“If he does, I didn’t see it,” you say. When Geto is silent, you tell him, “I can’t do it again. I can’t.”
After a tense, quiet moment, he smiles at you. You still feel nauseous, but you can’t tell if it’s because of your cursed technique or because of the bone-deep malaise that spreads into your skin like a balm when he looks at you—when you’re reminded of what you once saw lurking in the corners of his mind. “Of course,” he says. “Let’s get you home.”
✾
Kento meets you at your usual coffee shop a few weeks later. Your throat no longer feels raw every time you swallow. He has a drink waiting for you when you get there—(describing Kento as punctual would be doing the man a disservice)—and it’s your favorite, with all the little add-ons that you get too nervous to ask for at risk of being a burden to the already overworked baristas. You’re positive he tipped heavy after putting in your order.
He asks you what you think about the murder mystery you’ve both been reading. You tell him about your job, the monotony, the fantasies of exploding. He tells you about jujutsu business, even though he’s not supposed to. This has never stopped him in the past and won’t ever stop him in the future.
“The higher-ups are pleased with your work,” he tells you. He doesn’t sound pleased.
“Kento.” A warning.
He hmms at you as if actually considering your warning before speaking his mind. “Having a foot in either world is difficult. It’s impossible to keep your balance.”
Your drink suddenly disgusts you. You taste bile. The cup is hot between your hands as you roll it back and forth with your palms. “Are you saying I should come back to Jujutsu Tech?”
“I’m saying that if you want to leave entirely, you should.”
You consider this: a normal life, surrounded by normal people, with a normal job and normal friends and a normal partner, maybe, if you’re lucky. The higher-ups would never let this happen. If you wrong them, they make sure to wrong you back. “You know why I can’t.”
“I’d take care of it. You wouldn’t be bothered by anyone.” He speaks with such confidence that you could almost believe him.
You tell him you’ll think about it. The coffee stings your palms. A terrible feeling sits in your throat like a weathered rock.
There’s something other than the threat of retaliation that stops you from pulling the trigger—from fully leaving the world you grew up in, as Kento once did. Maybe you’re not as brave as him. Maybe you can’t reconcile how quickly he ended up going back. Or maybe you just feel so inextricably tied to the world in which you were raised that you need to have it in your life somehow, even if it’s in brief, unpleasant flashes of memory and want.
“You can make your decisions for yourself,” he says. He’s not disappointed with you, you’re sure—just worried. The same way you often worry about him. “They’re pleased. Geto found the curse and exorcised it the same day thanks to you. I can see why the higher-ups don’t want to let you go.”
The stone in your throat grows edges, forgets its weathering. His name always unnerves you, but Kento’s words unnerve you more. “He exorcised it—the same day we drove out there?”
Kento nods, sips his tea. “He can be vicious.”
A tremor begins in your fingers and lodges deep in your elbows, your shoulders, your very soul. “He didn’t need me to read another victim?”
Kento’s a smart man. His eyes narrow. “Not to my knowledge. Or anyone else’s.”
You wave off his concern (suspicion, really, but you love to downplay these things), and your coffee is finished, and you really should be going, anyway. “He didn’t do anything,” you lie, standing and folding your coat over your arm. “He called and asked me to come back out, but I said no.”
It’s easy to see that Kento doesn’t believe you, but he doesn’t press you either. He knows that if you tell him half-truths, once you have all of your feelings together, you’ll tell him everything. He’s done the same, and you’ve given him the grace he’s currently allowing you. He puts up with a lot—but that’s the nature of living the lives into which you both were born.
“Thank you for the coffee,” you say.
“You’ll call me soon?”
“You’re on speed dial,” you tell him—and it’s true. His contact is the only one in your phone that’s favorited.
Kento smiles—something you rarely see. You wish it didn’t call to mind the shine of fox teeth.
✾
How you ended up coming into contact with the wants of Geto Suguru: he showed up at Ieiri’s dorm with his ribs visible through his uniform.
You remember very specific things from that day. The heavy knock, the thud of him collapsing, blood soaking the tatami floors. Shockingly white bone beneath torn skin and muscle, his ink-black hair coming undone, silk-soft and slipping across your fingers as you dragged him inside. Ieiri’s hands were shaking. She smelled like cigarette smoke and metal. Pressure here, she told you, ripping away the remains of Geto’s jacket, and when you touched him everything was skin-muscle-bone-blood and: bodies. bodies of people that have wronged you. people that haven’t. their blood thick beneath your fingernails like orange peel. how easy it is to snuff out each life. to take from them what they have forgotten to value. you could kill more. you could kill everyone.
When you pulled away from Geto, his skin was knitting together beneath Ieiri’s shaking hands—hands you knew well, her black nail polish chipped around the edges because she bit at her nails when she was somewhere she couldn’t smoke. His ribs faded from view, and then muscle, and then his skin was pink and shiny, scar-new, as if whoever had done this to him had simply taken a paint brush to his bare chest and drawn a bold X.
Blood was underneath your fingernails. Orange peel. It’s all you remember about the aftermath. Getting back to your room and locking yourself in the washroom were voided from your memory. Your head was all bodies. All bone. An undeniable feeling of righteousness, completely sure that they hadn’t deserved what you’d taken from them. And on top of that, the most frightening thing: relief that they were dead.
You washed your hands so much that the skin was raw, peeling, but you still couldn’t get your fingernails clean.
✾
You ignore his calls.
The frequency with which you receive them makes you uneasy. You don’t have his number saved. The first few digits become a bad omen.
In school, he and Gojo had a reputation for toying with people. Mostly women, mostly in a romantic sense. The difference between the two is that Gojo was easy to understand—a spoiled boy-prince that liked the attention. He wanted girls to fawn after him, to beg for more when he finally graced them with a kiss, to cry when he dropped them.
Geto always seemed worse, somehow. He would date girls and leave them behind like candy wrappers, charming them into giving him a taste and only revealing his true appetite when his prize had reached the inescapable vicinity of his jaws.
It’s more insidious than simply liking attention. He liked power. Having control over someone.
Whatever he’s doing now is insidious in nature, too. You can feel it. So you ignore his calls and keep working the days away until you can’t ignore him, because he shows up at your office with the confidence of someone supposed to be there, hands in his pockets, leaning against the frame of your door.
You jump so hard that your bones creak, almost louder than the creaking plastic of your poor hand-me-down rolling chair.
“Your instincts are a little dull,” he says. “I thought you would’ve heard me coming.”
Standing up feels necessary. You don’t want to feel smaller than him, even though he towers in your doorway. “I’m not supposed to be bothered by sorcerers without advance notice.”
He smiles. “I tried calling.”
Your heart is pounding like a rabbit at the foot of a wolf, partly torn to shreds but conscious enough to experience the abject terror of what comes next. “Who let you up here?”
“I was hoping you might be willing to humor me without advance notice.”
“I’m calling security.”
“I need your help,” he says.
“Like you needed my help last time?”
He sits with that for a moment. “Is it a crime to be curious about you? What you’re capable of?”
“You lied to me,” you reiterate. “You didn’t need me to read that man. And, what—it was so you could see more of my technique?”
“Yes,” he says plainly, as if it's a perfectly sane response.
“Why didn’t you just ask?”
He chuckles, the sound rich and deep and calm, as if you’re having a nice conversation between old friends. “Are you saying you’d have responded well if I just asked?”
You remain silent, staring at the sticky notes on your monitor with reminders and deadlines written in blue pen. Tanaka account today. Get stapler back from Yoishi!!!! You both know his question is rhetorical.
He crosses his arms, taps his long fingers against his bicep. Is it impatience, you wonder, or his inability to sit still for too long? His face belies nothing. “Would you read me if I asked?”
Your veins feel too tight, constricting muscle. It must be a leading question—he’s suspicious of your aversion to him, maybe. The exterior he’s built is charming and handsome and kind. That’s probably how he got to your office. You wouldn’t be surprised if the receptionist saw a handsome face and caved immediately. It’s not his fault you see through it. If you could go back and revoke your touch, remove the bodies from your memory, you would. But you can’t, and the things in his mind scare you. It’s part of what made you leave. The idea of working with a man like that, who held such terrors in his head, was incomprehensible to you. It still is. You would always be thinking about the ease with which you could become one of those bodies.
When you read people who project to you in wants, it’s usually easier. Makes you feel less sick. But not him. He wanted those people dead, whoever they were. He wanted blood on his hands. He was thinking, concretely, that he could have killed them all. That they deserved it.
The relief was the worst part. Seeing all those people dead, and the resounding thought that outshone everything else: finally.
He steps forward, hand extended slightly. “If I—”
“No. Just—don’t,” you say, and you stumble a little as your legs hit your chair and push it, rattling, against the wall. Your office has never been this small. You never want to be inside his head again. You'd do anything to get him out of your space. “Tell me what you need my help with and we can go.”
He doesn’t look pleased. It seems people in your life are operating on a theme. Still, his hand retreats, and he smiles, slouches a little, as if to make himself smaller. Less intimidating. “Thank you.”
As you leave your office, you give him a wide berth, though you could swear his body goes taut, as if suppressing the urge to touch you.
The Ueno Zoo is closed during operating hours. This hasn’t happened in the entire time you’ve lived in Tokyo. The woman at the gate is a window—the look she gives Geto is one of recognition, respect. He and Gojo are the most well-respected sorcerers currently active, though you believe entirely that Kento is much more deserving of respect than they are. The window lets the both of you inside without a word.
Geto leads you to the vivarium, just to the right of the gate. It’s a beautiful glass building, the windows fogged with humidity to keep its plant and animal residents comfortable. You haven’t been to the zoo in a long time, but when you used to come with family and friends, you always visited the vivarium before you left. The air was heavy and hot, birdsong piped in through speakers, echoing off the glass walls like prism-dispersed light. Every animal inside moved slowly, heavily, and if you listened closely enough, you could hear the soft slide of scales against stone, the heavy thud of a taloned foot into packed dirt. A haven for living in calm and peace.
Inside, it’s chaos.
Display cases are smashed, plants and trees are torn up from the roots, stone walls have been dismantled and crushed. In the center of the rubble, the strewn dirt and bundled roots: jaws. Alligator jaws, crocodile jaws, all long and horrible teeth, and when you look closer—the jaws of snakes, fanged and dripping venom, and others from what you can only assume would be turtles, small and rounded.
The skin remains perfectly intact on every jaw. Muscle, bone, blood. You see bodies. You see limbs. You remember: finally.
“Don’t look at that,” Geto says from beside you. “Look at me.”
With a deep breath, you do—though looking at him does nothing to dispel the unrest in your stomach, the pit in your chest.
“Good.” He’s not smiling anymore. You wonder if he’s decided to drop his disguise or if the orphaned jaws are more horrifying than the wants he carries like stones. “Come this way.”
He leads you away from the viscera, into a small office next to the stairs. A man sits in the single chair, staring into the security monitors on the desk in front of him. His gaze is absent, hollow. His hands clasp and unclasp on his lap. Blood is spattered across his face and the front of his cheery yellow jumpsuit.
“He’s been like this since I got here,” Geto tells you. “I need you to read him.”
Ieiri used to tell you that if humans come into contact with curses and live, you have to monitor them closely for cardiogenic shock—stress and fear mounting to such a peak that the heart can’t handle the pressure. It’s not a peaceful death. “He needs to go to a hospital.”
“I’ll take him after.”
“How long has he been in shock?”
“Read him first,” he says, more curt than you’ve ever heard.
This is the thing lurking under the surface. The wolf peeking through the mouth of the sheepskin. It sits in him waiting to be called forth. You’ve seen it already—it’s no surprise to you that it lives in him still. It is, however, a surprise that he let his facade slip so badly.
He smiles, fox teeth a little sharper than usual. “Please.”
You put your hand on the side of the man’s neck, the only skin available to you. Touching people’s faces horrifies you. Such an intimate thing tarnished by the images that flood your brain.
Memories on a loop: guttural screeching, death cries that couldn’t be conjured by a human mind, and from the ceiling, from the ceiling the jaws falling, falling, falling, blood everywhere and on you and you can taste it ??? in your mouth ??? on your tongue ??? metal and rot, and there is something discarding these jaws from the bodies of animals it eats while clinging to the vivarium’s rafters something ??? when you met your wife you knew you were going to propose to her in the zoo in the vivarium because of the beautiful glass the beautiful plants she loves plants something there is something there is something you cannot see some thing ???
This time, Geto has a trash can waiting for you. You’ve gotten very good at gathering your hair up with one hand at a moment’s notice. He puts the trash next to the desk when you’re done, and you tell him everything useful that you gathered on the curse. Everything else, you keep to yourself. You’ve gotten very good at that too.
You wipe your mouth with the back of your wrist. The bile tastes more like copper than usual. “Is that everything?”
He holds his hand out to you and you hide your flinch poorly. “Gum?”
The foil-wrapped stick shimmers green, held between his fingers like a cigarette. You stare at it for a beat too long. It’s your favorite brand, spearmint flavored.
“It won’t bite,” he says. He tilts his head to the side, eyes crinkling with mirth. As if you weren’t tasting blood just a moment ago. When you still don’t take the gum, he laughs softly and it reminds you of high school. His laughter has always been a little mean, as if it gets harder for him to hide his true nature when amused. It reminds you of a housecat playing with a bug. “I won’t either.”
A funny thing for someone with such sharp teeth to claim.
You take the gum from him, careful to grab the very end so there’s no chance of your fingers brushing his. “Thanks.”
He smiles and nods as if he’s done you a favor. You appreciate the gum, but you’d appreciate him ceasing contact with you more. “I’ll see you soon,” he tells you.
“Get him help, Geto.”
He smiles wide in response.
✾
You lost your virginity to Kento during your graduating year at Jujutsu Tech.
Haibara was recovering, still in the hospital for the third consecutive month. He had to learn how to walk again, the implants in his spine acclimating to him at the same rate that he was acclimating to them. You and Kento were the only two students in your year that made it to graduation. The two of you felt like celebrating but when you began drinking, you realized it was more commiseration than anything celebratory.
“Do you always see things?” Kento asked. He never drank—saw it as beneath him—so when he did, he was a lightweight. “When you touch people?”
“Yeah,” you said. The both of you sat against the headboard of your bed, passing a bottle of gin back and forth—the only thing you could find in Yaga’s campus stash. It stopped tasting like liquor twenty minutes prior. “I can make it quieter. But I really have to focus. Like—I couldn’t make it quiet now, I don’t think.”
Kento turned towards you and said, “Try.”
And always, you would protest when people suggested this. It was like a party trick to people that didn’t have to deal with the fallout. They all wanted to know what you saw in their mind, whether it was wants or memories that jumped to the forefront, what their subconscious decided was important enough to broadcast.
You didn’t believe at all that Kento was asking for those reasons. It’s why you touched him.
Wedging the bottle between Kento’s thigh and yours, you turned towards him and reached for his face. This, for some reason, was your first instinct. His skin was soft, a little dry. His mouth was set in a nervous slant.
And you got a few things from him: finishing your favorite book for the third time, going to the beach with your mother, finding out how cold the sea was. Memories, unfortunately. The feelings behind them.
But what you felt was mostly your own.
You pushed his bangs back from his face, and you couldn’t take your eyes from the slant of his lips, and suddenly you were in Kento’s lap, kissing him, and he was kissing you back, hands on your hips, groaning softly into your mouth.
The gin tumbled off the bed and spilled all over your floor. Your dorm would smell like liquor for weeks.
It was awkward the way a first time should be for teenagers, misplaced limbs and kisses with knocking teeth. You both tried to take care of each other the best you could while shit-faced and entirely inexperienced. You hadn’t kissed anyone before then—you hadn’t touched someone’s face since you were little.
You’d been scared. He figured out how to make that okay.
✾
Gojo is in your office when you come into work, reclining in your chair with his feet up on your desk. He peers at you over his glasses, eyes like jeweled robin eggs. “Running kinda late, huh?”
“I don’t have to be here until nine,” you tell him. “It’s eight forty-five.”
“Semantics.”
“You’re in my office.” You don’t even have the good grace to make it sound like a question—just an admonishment.
“Or is it syntax?”
“Can you please get out?”
“Can’t you pretend you’re happy I’m here?” He pouts, taking his feet from your desk. “I won’t even ask you to do anything. I basically just came here to say hey.”
“That would certainly be a first.” You walk behind your desk and shoo him away from your computer, waking it from its slumber. An orange post-it note on the top of your monitor reminds you that tax reports are due TODAY!!!!!!, and you try to prepare yourself for a grueling eight-to-twelve hours of tax filing, depending on how smoothly things go. Gojo Satoru showing up at your office before you is not your definition of smooth. “You said hey. Why are you still here?”
Gojo slowly spins in your chair, pushing himself in circles lazily with one long leg. Avoids looking at you. “You’ve been working with Suguru a lot lately.”
“Twice.” You open up the tiny K-Cup machine you have on your desk and start preparing the world’s smallest cup of coffee. Three times, technically, but you still don’t know what to make of the second time he called you out to Yamanashi Prefecture. When he lied to you. “That hardly constitutes a lot.”
“Enough that it got back to me.” He slows the chair, then starts spinning the other way. “You got any idea why he’s taken an interest?”
Your tiny mug clatters against the K-Cup machine. Geto is probably miles from here, dealing with important jujutsu business, but your heart beats like a prey animal nonetheless, the way it often does under his gaze.“I don’t think he’s taken an interest.”
“As much as I’d love to be flattering you, that’s not what I mean.” He stops the chair entirely, body directed at you. “You’ve been useful.”
There’s nothing you hate more than being talked about like a tool. Your coffee finishes brewing and you take a sip before you really should. It burns your lips. You lean against your desk and look at Gojo, trying to read anything from his face, his body language. As always, you glean nothing. Though you see Geto as the more insidious of the two, you’re keenly aware that Gojo is just as good at pretending.
“I’ve been useful,” you repeat. “So what?”
“You don’t think you’ve been pretty unnecessary for the missions you’ve been asked to help with?” Though his glasses are on, it's as if you can sense the intensity of his gaze through the darkened lenses. “Suguru could’ve found and exorcised either of those curses easy. I could’ve done it even easier.”
Every meeting with Gojo requires a mandatory ego-stroking period. You decide to get it over with quickly. “Yes, you’re both very strong. What’s your point?”
“Do you know what happened that night?” he asks, taking off his glasses—and this is what really instills a fear in you that something terrible is about to happen. A full view of eyes like glittering sapphires. There’s no question what night he’s talking about.
You don’t like thinking about that time in general. You don’t like thinking about Geto’s ribs. You don’t like thinking about the bodies. “A non-sorcerer tried to stop the merger. You guys… neutralized him.”
His gaze clouds for a moment. You’re aware that Gojo carries his burdens, despite his unbearable ego. He’s somewhere else, seeing things that you have the good fortune of never having to see. You briefly wonder whether you’d read memories or wants from him. You’re content with not knowing. “Don’t play coy,” he tells you. “You’re smarter than that.”
“You killed him.”
“I killed him.”
Gojo’s account of the day you read Geto: both he and his best friend so narrowly avoided death that they still remember its taste.
A mercenary whittled down Gojo’s endurance and attacked just as they were delivering Amanai Riko to Tengen for their merger. Gojo stayed back to deal with things. Geto escorted Amanai. Gojo was slit from throat to hip with a blade so sharp he didn’t feel the pain until his blood was already varnishing the floor. Geto was carved apart by that same blade, left alive only because of the curses he stored and their indeterminable state upon his death. Amanai, quick on her feet, made it to Tengen. The merger was successful. Things settled down and another Star Plasma Vessel wouldn’t have to be found for a long, long time.
Gojo shows you the scar on his forehead, shiny rib-white, usually hidden by his hair or his blindfold. Being so close to death changed him, he tells you—he fully understood the limits of his cursed energy and what it could do.
It changed Geto too.
“I’m not telling you all this for nothing,” he says, a disarming smile appearing on his face so suddenly after a serious conversation that the speed makes you nauseous. “I just have one tiny favor to ask you.”
It’s long into the day. The details took a while to get through. Your lunch hour is coming up and your appetite is nonexistent and tax forms sit unfiled on your desk. Gojo asking for a favor is always bad news. You can taste vomit and you wish you had a piece of gum or alternatively that you were born an entirely different person. “I don’t want any trouble—”
“No trouble. Promise.” He lifts his right hand, pinkie out, grinning—as if it’s funny that you, specifically, can’t touch him. “I just want you to read him for me.”
Your heart slams into the base of your throat. “That’s… You know that’s not a small ask.”
He drops his hand, shrugs. “C’mon—look, it’ll give you an excuse to get close to him.”
“Why would I want that?” you ask.
“As if I didn’t clock your embarrassing crush on him in high school.”
“Excuse me?”
“Excused. It won’t even be bad,” he says. “I only need you to read him one time, probably.”
“Why?”
“Just curious.”
“Gojo.”
Weighing the cost of telling you a half-truth versus keeping you in the dark seems to take a toll on him, his smile turning brittle at its corners. You think he knows that you won’t do anything for him without more information. Not that you’d read Geto ever, at all—but Gojo hasn’t always been good at believing people when they say never. Hesitantly, he tells you, “Something happened.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, something,” he says, finally a little exasperated. “I wouldn’t be asking if I already had answers.”
There are things he’s not telling you, very obviously. He’s minimizing. Jujutsu sorcerers are good at that. And he and Geto are best friends, two people so closely intertwined that they could count as one. “Why can’t you just ask him?”
For the first time in your acquaintance with him, Gojo is silent.
“He doesn’t know you’re asking me to do this,” you say. It would be a question if you weren’t already so sure.
“Oh, no, he’d kill me if he knew I was here.”
“I’ll call him and tell him to come get you.”
“I’d like to see you follow through on that.” He grins, peeks at you over his glasses. “Bet you won’t.”
Geto answers on the first ring, your name spoken in question.
“Your dog’s in my office. Come pick him up.”
He does.
Gojo could easily leave before Geto arrives, but he doesn’t even try. He sits in your chair, still reclined, surely doing immeasurable damage to the hydraulics. Asking him about his motives would be wasted breath—he’ll never tell you something he doesn’t want to, regardless of how much you wheedle him. He’ll enjoy the wheedling, though, and you don’t want to give him the ego boost of being begged.
Instead, you shoo him out of the way of your desk and start working on submitting the tax forms, leaning awkwardly over your computer. Gojo hums and your back aches, and you refuse to be curious about this entire situation because it’s none of your business. This is what you do now. Taxes and filing.
Geto arrives at your office once again without needing your permission to come up. You wonder who’s working reception.
“Sorry about him,” Geto says, leaning in your doorway. His hair is loose, strands falling softly against his face. You forget how tall he is sometimes. How handsome. It makes your stomach turn. “Badly trained.”
“I think the fault is more the owner’s than the dog’s,” you say.
He shrugs. “If you tried training the dog in question, maybe your opinion would change.”
“Can you guys stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Gojo asks.
Geto grabs him by the back of the collar. “Walk’s over. Time to go home.” He smiles at you over his shoulder as he leaves, his hair so inky black that it almost blends into his dark dress shirt. You remember how it felt sliding through your fingers years ago. Even though you never touched his wound, you think you can remember the texture of his ribs.
You consider Gojo’s proposition long after you’ve submitted the tax forms, after you’ve arrived home late once again, after you stare out your bedroom window into the night sky and see nothing but storm-cloud gray.
You expect Geto to be the kind of person to keep secrets. It shouldn’t worry you. But keeping secrets from the one person he views as an equal makes you uneasy. The bodies are in your head. You wonder how close you are to finally. When you sleep, it’s fitful, and you wake in the night to the feeling of silk-soft hair running through your fingers, falling so quickly that it’s impossible to grasp.
✾
Kento is antsy when he comes over for dinner. It wouldn’t bother you if he didn’t also happen to be the calmest man you know. He keeps bouncing his leg as he sits at the little two-top table in your kitchen, drumming his fingers incessantly on the tiled surface. He’s not wearing his glasses—and he usually watches your cooking like a hawk, just in case you make a grievous mistake—but instead holds them in his hand, twirling them back and forth.
The one-sided conversation you have with him is unbearable. Did you have a nice day? Mmmhmm. No crazy assignments? Just the usual. Should I use soy sauce or sesame oil? Oil. My favorite author is doing a book signing next month. Do you want to go with me? Sure. Is something up? Not at all.
Eventually, you’ve had enough. “I’m going to burn the cabbage.”
He glances over at the pan you’re wielding. “It looks fine.”
“I’m going to do it on purpose and I’m going to make you eat it,” you say, pointing your spatula in his direction so he’s positive that it’s him who’ll have to eat the ruined meal. “I’ll spoon-feed it to you.”
Kento is bewildered by this, his eyebrows raised very slightly—shock has always been a micro-expression for him. “I’m sorry. I’ve been a little absent.”
“More than a little.” You stir the cabbage again. “You know I don’t want to pry.”
He nods. The space you offer each other is a give-and-take. If neither of you are ready to speak about something, there’s usually no pressure to do so.
But this time is different. You’re worried that the strange things happening around you are begging to connect, veins folding over each other to become arteries, blood flowing into your life and staining the foundations. You need to tell him about everything that's happened over the past few weeks. But first, you need to ask. “Does this have something to do with Geto?”
His leg stops bouncing. His fingers quiet against the tabletop. “So you know.”
You tell him everything. Being called out to the village again, going to the vivarium, the jaws. Gojo showing up unannounced, though that's the most usual thing out of everything that's happened. “He asked me to read Geto,” you say. “There are secrets being kept.”
You told Kento about the bodies only once. The two of you had just recently graduated. You shared a studio apartment in Tokyo for three months before your Jujutsu Tech paychecks started coming in. In his arms, you saw memories of a kind-hearted blonde woman, the scent of coffee and pastries, the cool chill of the air in the mountains of Denmark, and you had to pull away from him, trying not to gag and failing.
When you returned from the bathroom, teeth minty-fresh and tongue burning, he apologized so earnestly. As if he had done anything other than hold you close and thread his fingers through yours.
It was then you began to understand that you could never be his, though the realization didn’t settle in for a while. You told him not to apologize. You told him that nothing was his fault. And then for some reason, you told him about the bodies and the orange peel and the finally and he asked if he could comfort you and you had to say no because you didn’t want to throw up again. From then on, he was wary of Geto. Maybe not as much as you—though that’s understandable.
Knowing what’s going on in his head is one thing. Experiencing it is another.
Kento sighs, familiar. He joins you in the kitchen, in the heat that radiates from the stove. The cabbage is burning slightly even though you never meant to follow through on your threat. Your attention has been elsewhere. “Let me,” he murmurs, and his hand brushes yours as he takes the spatula from you: fresh bread from the bakery at the end of the block, long nights at the office alone, a deep hatred of the word ergonomic— He begins to peel the burning cabbage from the bottom of the pan. “He’s been quiet lately.”
“Isn’t he usually?” You remember Geto being reserved, but then again, maybe that’s only because your memories of him are often in the context of Gojo.
“He can be.” Kento takes the pan to the trash and scrapes off the burnt cabbage, then returns to where you wait for him, leaning against your counter. He opens the top drawer next to the stove and pulls out the menu of the Indian restaurant nearby that you both like. “He’s exorcising Special Grade curses that he shouldn’t even attempt to take on by himself, no matter how strong he is. There are days where he’s cleared missions back-to-back without stopping to sleep.”
“You think he’s focused on work because something’s wrong.”
“Yes,” Kento says, and chews on the thought for a moment. “I don’t like it when he’s focused like this. He gets… obsessive.”
“Him and Gojo were always odd, though,” you say. Minimizing whatever is happening with Geto feels crucial. You’ve never seen Kento this worried.
He hums. “In different ways, perhaps. Gojo’s obsessive nature is more self-centered. But Geto—when he’s consumed by something, it’s like nothing else matters. He’d raze the world to ash if it meant doing what he felt needed doing.”
“Should I be worried?” you ask.
You should. You already know this.
Another sigh. He can’t quite look you in the eyes. You both think: bodies. You both think: finally . “Biryani for you?” he asks. “Or do you want something different this time?”
“Biryani’s fine.”
“Great,” he says, proceeding to order your food. And you don’t talk about it again that night.
✾
You’ve been a regular at the same coffee shop for nearly half a decade. The times you come in vary, depending on work or your weekend plans. You know the regulars and have seen thousands of faces pass through the cozy little building. Not once have you seen Geto here.
Yet he’s at the back of the line when you arrive, smiling pleasantly when he sees you walk through the door. Almost as if his arrival was timed.
If he hadn’t already seen you, you would’ve left. Even as you step into line behind him, you still consider it: bolting out the door and down the street, sprinting your way home as if he’d catch you if you stopped running. He stares at you expectantly while you think about your escape. It puts a shiver deep into your bones, his handsome face and kind eyes and warm smile, all tactics granted by genetics and lifted straight out of a manual on inviting body language. Instead of doing what your instincts tell you is right, you say, “Hi.”
“It's good to see you.” His smile widens, Cheshire in nature despite not showing teeth. “I didn’t know anyone else knew about this place.”
You almost tell him you live close by, but then think better of it. “It’s Kento’s favorite.”
“Of course,” he says. “Haibara took me here a few years ago.”
Yu is kind to a fault. Neither you or Kento have ever talked to him about what you saw in Geto’s head—mostly because you're scared to tell too many people, but also because of the blind respect Yu has for Geto. As if he's a story-book hero that could never do anything wrong. You care about Yu too much to disappoint him with the truth.
“I’ve gotten the same thing here for a long time,” Geto tells you. He gazes up at the menu, such concentration on his face, pulling at the strand of hair loose from his bun for a moment before turning back to you. You remember what Kento said about him not sleeping. His obsessiveness. Nearly imperceptible purple smudges lurk under his eyes. “Would you like to try something new with me?”
You can’t decide if you say yes out of sick curiosity or the fear of what would happen if you said no. Geto pays for both of your drinks—you insist that he shouldn’t, enough times in a row that it’s rude and very obviously makes the cashier uncomfortable, but his insistence wins out.
Waiting at the drink counter with him is torture. You hate when people buy things for you because it makes you feel like you owe them something. For Geto, it’s time. He paid for your presence, at least for however long it takes the baristas to make your drinks. He asks you about your work. You tell him about the books you’ve been balancing, hoping to bore him. Instead he asks more questions about how you like your office, whether your coworkers are nice, if your boss is treating you well.
“Are you looking for a new job?” You fail to keep vitriol from lacing the underside of your words. “We’re not hiring.”
If Geto is bothered by your attitude, he doesn’t let on. He even seems a touch amused. “I enjoy what I’m doing now, but thanks for keeping me in the loop.”
The barista calls out Geto’s name, and he grabs your drink first, hands it to you. You ordered a cappuccino with a syrup that you’ve been curious about but have never tried. The coffee smells amazing even at arm's length, creamy and strong and a little like cinnamon.
“Thanks.” You slowly turn to leave. “I should be—”
“Wait,” he says, reaching towards you.
You flinch so hard that a slim stream of coffee shoots from the lid’s mouthpiece, burning hot when it lands on your hand. Geto never makes contact, but his arm is still outstretched, as if waiting for you to calm down so he can go through with touching you. You think of Gojo’s request, of the cases where Geto has asked for your help but hasn’t needed it. Yu might have shown him this coffee shop however long ago, but why is he here now? Why have you never seen him here before if he’s a regular?
“Get away from me,” you snap, stern and quiet enough that your words lace themselves underneath the shop’s easy-listening music.
He does, hands raised and palms open, proclaiming innocence. Slowly, he lowers them. The barista calls his name again, his coffee still waiting on the counter.
“If you ever make me read you against my will,” you tell him, “I will never forgive you.”
Your forgiveness probably means little to him, but it’s the only thing you can threaten. You don’t know him well enough to understand what he holds dear—but you remember respect being important to him when you were at school. Respect and forgiveness.
“I wouldn’t,” he says. “Never.”
You thank him for the coffee again in lieu of a goodbye. The air outside stings against your face, your neck, the spots on your skin where the coffee burned you, steamed milk already drying to film. You’ll wash your hands when you get home. And you’ll wash them again. And again. Eventually they’ll feel clean enough.
✾
Yu calls you at 3:06 in the morning. “They’re dead because of me,” he tells you, and then he’s crying and you’re already walking down the block, heading toward his apartment in your pajamas and large winter coat.
After his injury, Yu wasn’t sent on more dangerous missions for a long time. Even when he was healed fully, despite the nasty scar that twisted and puckered the width of his chest, the higher-ups didn’t think he would be psychologically ready to take on anything too stressful.
They were right. One of the few things you’ve agreed with them about. Yu had always been the most hopeful out of all of you, the most caring. But he was also the most sensitive. Getting so close to death did nothing but make that worse.
He’s on the couch when you get there, using your key to let yourself in. You and Kento were given copies at the housewarming party, which had consisted of four bottles of peach soju, the three of you, and Ieiri for a few hours before she was called back to the school. His eyes are red and puffy, and he’s curled into himself, laying on his side. It looks like he’s been crying for the entire evening. The worn leather of the seat is darkened beneath his face.
You’re by his side immediately, brushing hair back from his face, wiping stray tears from his cheeks: i wish i’d known i should have !!! known how did how did i not know how i wish i “Hey, it’s okay. I'm here,” you say, trying a little more pointedly to keep your fingers off his scalp. The thing he wants, simply: to have done better. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“I messed up,” he says, and you’ve never heard him sound so defeated. Even during his recovery he sounded less broken than this. “I don’t—I don’t know how I didn’t see it.”
At seventeen, you and your classmates began to receive solo assignments. Yu always got the easier ones—still recovering from his injury, both physically and mentally. He tells you about a mission he had almost forgotten: a curse terrorizing a village on the outskirts of Yamanashi Prefecture. The curse was easily exorcized, easily forgotten—what Yu remembered well were the whispers that came after. They called him a devil, named him unnatural, said that he could see things no one else could because he was damned. Just like the two little girls that lived in the village, their late mother’s otherness somewhere in the same vein.
He thought nothing of it. He would get rid of the curse, and the village would go back to normal. Yes, they were skeptical and untrusting of anything that could be perceived as even slightly supernatural, but most non-sorcerers were. Sometimes you had to protect people that would never thank you—that could never comprehend the things you’d given up to offer said protection. Whatever oddities they attributed to other people would fade away once the curse was gone, and the village would go back to normal. Everyone would trust everyone again.
The bodies of the girls had been exhumed during a construction project aiming to bring affordable housing to prefectures outside of Tokyo. The Hasaba twins, Nanako and Mimiko, reported truant by their school over a decade ago. Their mother wasn’t alive to receive the report. Their father hadn’t been there from the beginning. The town didn’t report them missing—they knew exactly where the girls were. From the remains, bones weak and brittle, authorities determined that they died of malnutrition.
“I could’ve helped them.” Yu’s lip trembles and he bites it so hard that you see the skin around his mouth turn bone-white. “They might have been alive then. If I paid more attention, I just—how could they have done that? How can anyone justify that?”
You don’t know. How does anyone justify anything? How many times do you have to tell yourself you’re doing the right thing before you believe it? You wonder if the inhabitants of that village let out a breath when the sisters had finally passed—whether they, too, had a moment of finally.
Yu cries for a little longer and you hold him carefully. It’s all you can do. You’d call Kento if you didn’t know that Yu would be mortified to cry in front of someone he views as his superior at work, despite their friendship. After a while, he pulls his phone out and opens up a message chain. A groupchat for Jujutsu Tech staff. Ieiri’s text, attached to the official posting from the higher-ups: zen’in clan are holding a service for the girls on sunday. gakuganji wants us there to pay respects so everyone better show up. In the report, there are photos of each of the girls, from Picture Day at their school, judging by the uniforms—and you recognize them.
You’ve seen these girls inside a man’s memories. A man that you read for Geto.
Your heart beats so hard that you’re sure Yu can feel it through your shirt, through your skin. When you’ve reassured him as much as possible that he couldn’t possibly be at fault, when he promises you that he’ll be able to sleep without the feeling of guilt crushing him under its heavy heel, you head further into the city instead of back towards home.
The apartment building you come to is sleek, flashy, piercing the night sky like a blade. The doorman lets you in—you’ve been here before. On business only, and never of your own volition. You take the elevator to the top floor and slam your fist against the hallway’s only door, choosing to ignore the shiny golden doorbell and the even shinier knocker. After a few moments of you hitting the wood so hard that it feels like the meat of your palm is going to split, the door opens.
A terribly annoying grin greets you. “I would’ve invited you up if you called me.”
“Why,” you say, trying your best to be calm, “do you want me to read him?”
Gojo’s expression flickers. A moment, a fleeting instant of concern. He’s without glasses or blindfold—you must have woken him up. It’s probably nearing five in the morning. The first trains will start running soon. “Hello, business,” he says. “I’ve got to admit, I’d hoped I was talking to pleasure.”
“It has to do with the girls, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t ask Suguru about what girls he’s seeing—”
“I saw them, Gojo,” you say.
This shuts him up.
“I read someone who knew them.” You’re not sure why, but it feels necessary to not tell him that you read the man because Geto asked you to. “He didn’t like them playing with his daughter because they were different.”
He stands, silent and contemplating, eyes pearlescent and glowing in the soft shadow that precedes sunrise.
There’s a terrible phantom that lurks between your ribs, a sticky feeling that slimes along your bones. You think of Geto’s sudden reappearance in your life, you think of Gojo’s intimidating request, you think finally, finally, finally. “Did he kill them?”
His eyes snap to yours, fluorescent, flaring—you had forgotten that the hottest part of a flame is blue. “No.”
He’s so serious that your heart rate picks up, your body going into fight-or-flight at the coldness of that single word. “Gojo—”
“He wouldn’t.”
“Okay—it’s okay. I believe you.” You don’t, but you’ll say anything to remove the hardness from his eyes, his tone—the same hardness as when he sat in your office and told you not to sugarcoat things. I killed him. “Then why do you want me to read him?”
“I told you,” he says, and his voice is back to normal but his eyes are nowhere close. “I’m just curious.”
Your hand darts forward on instinct. You want to know what’s inside his head so bad that you can’t control yourself—until you remember exactly who you’re trying to touch and exactly what his power is. Forget being untouchable—he could physically destroy you. He could snap your arm like a matchstick. He could pull at the broken end until the limb splits completely. You step back, but the movement was too obvious to have been anything else.
He grins again. Holds his hand out. “Wanna touch?”
“Good night, Gojo.”
He watches as you get in the elevator, as you press the button for the lobby, as the doors slide shut. All the while, eyes burning.
✾
You’re at a run-down warehouse in Roppongi with a cursed weapon in your hand when you wonder where your life went wrong. Kento called you half an hour ago—cornered, bleeding, his cleaver knocked out of his grip. “I wouldn’t have called you,” he said, “but no one else is picking up.”
It didn’t matter. If he needed you, you would be there. That had been the case for the better part of a decade.
The warehouse was a storage facility for flour and corn, most likely. The floor is covered in rancid mold. Your knife—Sound Eater, the cursed tool you’d conveniently forgotten to return to the armory when you left Jujutsu Tech—is familiar in your palm. Its handle is worn to the shape of you.
You feel comfortable like this. More comfortable than at your job filing accounts, at your apartment reading or watching some awful reality TV show. It’s because this is how you grew up, you think. You’re remembering the person you were for twenty years before you became someone else.
At the far end of the warehouse, a stone staircase leads to the basement—where Kento is. Where the curse is. You can sense it, the same feeling as being watched. A specter’s ghostly nails tracing the ridge of your spine.
The basement smells mustier than the warehouse. A single light blinks ahead, allowing you flashes of the series of hallways that lead deeper into the warehouse’s underground storage. The floor is wet, and the viscous liquid that coats the stone soaks through the soles of your shoes. Your socks stick coldly to your feet. You listen to your weapon to see if you can locate the curse, its energy responding to the curse’s with vibrations and muted shrieks that sing through your bones unpleasantly. The curse seems to be everywhere, spread through the basement like an even layer of butter.
You find Kento’s cleaver before you find him. It’s deep in the tunnel system—you’ve already been walking for two or three minutes, and there’s been no sign that anyone else is down here with you.
Taking his weapon as a sign that you’re close, you even your breathing, measure your steps—stealth training from long ago functioning like a ghost limb, sending signals through your body despite not having been used for years.
You enter a large antechamber—some sort of production facility—and though it’s quiet, you hear breathing from behind a burnt-out piece of machinery. Slowly, you approach, Sound Eater singing against your skin. This is not the cursed tool’s energy responding to a curse. It can only be Kento. Your heart still beats violently against your ribs, bruising bone.
His shoulder is a mess. Dress shirt torn, blood adorning the fabric and the shiny plastic buttons, face haggard—he’s in pain, and the sight sends you back to your youth as quick as a fist to the face. Group missions, Kento’s injuries, your injuries, the way you started always wearing black because it hid bloodstains most effectively.
You’re at his side quickly, a hand gingerly against his shoulder, checking for damage. He groans. His shoulder is dislocated, but he already knows this. “Help me get it back in,” he tells you. His shirt is still intact enough that you won’t have to touch his skin, which is good. You can’t risk being weakened right now.
Shoulders always relocate with a sickening crack, as if a bone that had been broken is being rebroken and set. A badly healed bone is a liability, Ieiri has told you. Dislocation is easier to fix. You feel a little less sick when the sight of distended skin and incorrectly puzzled bone is straightened out, set right.
“Details,” you demand.
“A semi-first grade, four-legged,” he says, taking his cleaver from you. “It’s using whatever’s on the floor—sticks you in place. Its left flank is injured.”
The one question that Kento doesn’t seem to be able to answer: where is it?
Sound Eater answers that question for you in the span of seconds, buzzing against your palm, shocks working their way down your fingers. You nod your head towards the north entrance to the production facility, where your weapon is attempting to drag you. Once it gets close enough to a curse, its energy begins to magnetize. The stronger the curse, the stronger the magnetization. You try to ignore the way your hands shake with effort to keep Sound Eater in place.
Kento is up, breathing labored. You hate this for him—that he feels like it’s his duty to deal with this, that his purpose is nothing more than being a jujutsu sorcerer. That knowing what it feels like to exorcise a curse makes it nearly impossible to want to do anything else.
You understand. This is the most alive you’ve felt in years.
In the abridged sign that you and he used to employ during group missions, he tells you, Go right. Distract.
You dart into the clearing, the curse’s eyes immediately finding you from across the large room. They’re yellow, the familiar color of bile, and they shine out from its gray body, the blob-like consistency of a snail on top of four muscled legs, identical to those of a wolf.
Which means it’s fast.
Your shoulder takes the brunt of the pressure as you roll out of the way of the curse’s first strike. It crosses ground more quickly than you can comprehend. When you right yourself, you can see just how grotesque the creature really is. Its mouth is a wide wound stuffed with teeth. Its eyes are scared, childlike. In its twisted voice, it says hello hello hello? hello who's there hello? and Sound Killer wants to taste its skin.
As it readies its weight on its back legs to strike again, Kento comes down from above, his cleaver hitting the back of the curse’s neck with intense force—almost 7:3. You hear a crack, a hiss, but the curse backs up, head still attached to its body by a thread.
The floor is suddenly very cold. It radiates up through your feet, spiking into your calves, your thighs. You try to move and fail. Sound Eater begs you to let it get closer to its target.
You’re not sure if the curse can only freeze one person at a time. Kento tries to move forward to strike again and his body jerks and stills, glued to its vulnerable position. The curse readies itself again to strike, its head knitting itself back onto its body. Its wound-mouth opens wide, ready for an offering.
Sound Eater whistles as you lift it to shoulder-level, as you aim to throw it into the curse’s open mouth before it consumes Kento.
It’s stupid, Gojo once told you, to lose your weapon on the field if your cursed technique is useless. You got very good at throwing weapons with dead aim, taking out curses with a single slice, Sound Eater a perfect match for you because of its draw to the cores of such curses. Part of you got good at this to spite him. You’ll continue to spite him, even now.
The curse lunges. Sound Eater slices through air. An echoing click fills the chamber as the cursed tool hits tooth, cracking bone but doing no more. The curse halts its attack, scared yellow eyes focused on you now.
And your cursed tool lays beneath its feet, glittering under a layer of pungent slime. You briefly try to appreciate the irony of the situation: if you hadn’t left the jujutsu world, you wouldn’t be as rusty as you are now, and maybe you would have lived.
Your feet are unlocked so suddenly that you fall to your knees, slime coating your pants, your legs, your hands as you push yourself back up. The curse lies inert in between you and Kento—clearly breathing, but nowhere near conscious. Asleep.
It’s like you can sense him before he speaks, your blood chilling in its well-traveled arteries.
“I’m glad you’re both okay,” he says. Grins without teeth. The same way Gojo grins—confident and so hopelessly self-impressed. There’s a curse beside him, one that he controls, its energy definitely potent but not malicious towards you. It’s familiar, in a way—eyes that crackle with electricity, sparking skin, long claws. You’ve seen it before, but not personally. Geto’s gaze flits between you and Sound Eater on the ground next to the downed curse. “Did Nanami call you out of retirement? Or were you just having a little fun?”
Kento says Geto’s name—a warning. He’s injured, hurting. He doesn’t have patience for games.
“It doesn’t matter why I’m here,” you say, offering Kento help to stand. His body is a heavy weight that pulls at your shoulder, activating muscles you haven’t used since right after high school. “Ieiri still runs the clinic at school, right?”
“Of course,” Geto responds, all fox teeth. He points at the unconscious curse. “First, though.”
You’ve never seen Geto absorb a curse before. You know some details about the process, mostly from Kento and Yu telling you stories about happenings in the field, but you’d never actually witnessed it. It amazes you how the body curls up into such a compact ball of shadow, how it can be contained within the walls of Geto’s cursed energy. The expression he makes while he consumes it is familiar to you. You know that strain, that effort put into controlling every single muscle in your face, veins in the neck straining hard against skin. They must taste awful. You think about the gum he offered you at the vivarium—wonder if he carries it for purposes you hadn’t considered until now.
He dismisses the other curse with a small movement of his hand, and the energy in the room evens out so quickly that your head feels full of falling sand. Sound Eater goes quiet, and you collect it from beneath a viscous layer of filth. “We should go,” Geto says, gesturing to one of the entrances to the production facility. Knowing him, he probably has the entire compound mapped out in his head.
“Did you call a car?” you ask.
“I already have one waiting. Figured we might need a quick exit.”
You nod. He still unnerves you, but you’re not entirely without manners. “Thank you.”
He looks at you for a moment longer than you’re comfortable with. Everything seems calculated in his eyes. He never simply sees things—he analyzes them. “My pleasure,” he says. You can't read his tone because he always keeps it even, friendly. But you’re sure that there’s something to read in those words that you can’t quite see right now. “Shall we?”
Despite the way you feel about him, you allow enough tentative trust for him to lead you out of the darkness and back into the sun.
✾
He insists on escorting you home from the school.
There are company cars you could’ve requested rides from—the higher-ups at least owe you a free ride home for everything you’ve done today—but you don’t want to take anything from them that they haven’t already offered. They can be tricky about which of their favors require repayment.
This leaves you and Geto on the last train of the night, alone. He stands despite the long rows of empty seats, leaning back against the Do Not Lean On Doors sign, arms crossed. There���s not even a hint of him trying to hide that he’s watching you intently.
On any other day, you would stand, unwilling to give him any advantage—but you’re exhausted. You need a shower so badly. Layers of slime have dried on you and you feel more disgusting than you ever knew was possible. You sit opposite him, leaning back in the uncomfortable plasticky chair. Meeting his eyes feels foolish. Taking your attention off of him feels even more foolish. Staring at his shoes is a happy medium.
The car rolls steady across its tracks, its wheels whistling slightly when the train reaches top speed between stations.
“Do you ever see things you don’t want to?” he asks after a three-stop stretch of silence.
All the time. It seems you’ll always be stuck in this cycle of attempting normalcy only to be tasked with experiencing the unpleasant wants and memories of people you don’t know. You’re not going to tell him that, though. Him asking you questions makes you queasy. Your knees feel weak even though you’re sitting down. “Doesn’t everyone?”
“You’re very good at avoiding my questions.”
“You don’t make it hard.”
The train rolls on, and on, and on.
He hooks his arm around the closest stanchion pole, then leans in your direction. The strand of hair that hangs loose against his face sways alongside the train's ebbs and flows. Blinding brightness from the overhead LEDs paint his face in baroque shadows. He could be a devil, or a killer, or simply a man. “Does it scare you?”
Many things about this situation scare you. You ask him to clarify.
“When you read people. I’m sure you’ve seen some… unsavory things.” You think: bodies. You think: blood and muscle and sinew and bone. “It would make sense if those things scared you.”
“They don’t,” you lie.
He considers you for a long moment, seeming to lean even farther forward, and the idea of him getting closer pierces your stomach like a nail. But the train once again sways on its tracks and his body follows, leaning back on his heels and removing himself from what could have almost been your space. “I always wondered what it was you saw.”
“What do you mean?” you ask. You know what he means.
He smiles, almost condescending—an expression that says come now, are we really going to play this game? The way he says your name in response, so pleasant and even-keeled, makes you feel like a cold stone. Prey trapped in a small space with its most vicious predator. You go so still your blood stops flowing.
Until now, you’d never been sure whether he actually knew that you’d read him. You’re positive he doesn’t want anyone to know what’s inside his head. He paints an image of himself over what he really is, but it’s a faulty veneer. Apply enough pressure and it’ll fracture in all the little places that hold the worst rotted of the flesh beneath.
You know he would do anything to keep this image of himself spotless, whole. You’re sure of it. “Kento will know something’s wrong if I don’t talk to him in the next few days.”
His brows draw low over his dark eyes—first in confusion, and then in a sort of amused incredulity. “You think I’m going to kill you.”
“I think you want to.”
The lights flash in the car as it passes under a tunnel. “What is it that defines a good person?”
“...why are you asking me?”
He grins, and your stomach constricts. “Good and bad are large concepts in a small world. They touch and overlap in more places than any of us could ever anticipate. But we’re supposed to fit neatly into one or the other.”
You don’t respond. You’re too focused on the stretch of his lips.
“So what defines a good person?”
“The things they’ve done,” you say, more to get him to stop asking you questions than anything.
“I don’t remember doing anything particularly harmful to you,” he says—and here it is. What he really wants from you. “It can’t be my actions. So is it my desires that define me as a bad person in your eyes, or my memories?”
Your stomach constricts tighter. Painfully. You’re still four stops away from the one by your apartment. “Geto.”
“It has to be one or the other. Those are the two categories that you can read, right?”
“It was a long time ago.”
“Ten years,” he says. “And you can barely look me in the eye.”
You try, as if you could prove him wrong, but you can’t maintain eye contact with him for more than a moment before you feel a terrible coldness in your gut.
“I’d always wondered if you read me that night, but I was never sure.” He wraps his loose strand of hair around a long finger, then unwraps it. Repeats these movements like a question and answer, like a catechism. “Not until I saw you again.”
“The second time you called me out to the village—you were lying to me.”
“We’ve established that.”
“You put that man in a coma,” you say. "You absorbed the curse that was at the power plant."
He nods, face calm, as if altering someone’s state of being is a normal thing to do. “But I woke him up right after you left and he was unharmed. I paid him for his time.”
“Why?”
“I needed to know what it was that scared you. The situation itself…” he says, holding out one hand flat—and then the other, his hands mimicking the sides of a scale, the second option heavier than the first. “Or me.”
“I’d have told you that if you asked,” you say, and you would have. No point in keeping it from him. “You didn’t have to lie. That was underhanded.”
“I think reading me without my consent counts as underhanded.”
Bone, muscle, blood, sinew. Bone-white beneath his uniform. And the blood, the blood, the blood, orange-peel thick. “I didn’t want to. You don’t understand, you were—I could see your ribs. It was—we didn’t think—”
“I understand,” he says.
“I know you do,” you concede. Because he was there for it all. He experienced it all. He woke up when he was healed and immediately went to search for the body of his best friend, not knowing that Gojo had already woken himself up from the brink of death. “I wish it happened differently.”
“Doesn’t everyone?” he asks, parroting your response from earlier.
Maybe they do. Maybe things could have gone much differently—worse, even. You could know more than his wants. You could have seen them realized.
“What did you see?” he asks, careful. Quiet. There's a weight to his voice you're unfamiliar with. It sounds like more than passing curiosity.
It’s what makes you answer honestly. “Blood. Bodies.” Finally. “Relief.”
“Which of those scared you the most?”
You look at him, jaw tight, because he knows which one it was.
“And that makes me a bad person?” he asks.
“I never said you were a bad person.”
“You just thought it.”
You have. You’ve thought it every day since seeing his true desires. You’re not sure that you’re a good person either, but your hidden wants will never be as gruesome as his. “It’s not that simple.”
“Of course it’s not.” Again, he smiles—but there’s something brittle to it. Gojo, in your office when you pushed too hard. A mask beginning to crack.
The train stills, doors opening. You're still a few stops away from home. No one gets on, no one gets off. It's just you and Geto on the car, filling its silence with more than words.
“If I asked you to read me now,” he asks, “would you?”
Your head jerks up, and you look past him, at the closing doors, at the windows of the train car. The whistling starts again, the train gaining speed. You’re between stops. There’s no exit. “No.”
“It could be different than last time.”
“You don’t know that,” you say, but what you really want to tell him is that it won’t be.
“What if it is?” he asks. “Maybe you have the wrong idea of me.”
You don’t think that’s the case. You’re not going to tell him this.
“I was angry. Hurt. I thought Satoru had just been murdered.” He says these things like easy facts. His tone takes the emotion out of them entirely, as if those factors didn’t contribute to what you’re sure is massive unresolved trauma. “I thought I was going to die.”
“You didn’t.”
“No,” he says—and here you get a flash of something deeper, again unfamiliar. Because he won’t look at you, even though he’s the kind of person that always makes eye contact. He leans back, distancing himself. “Have you ever experienced that? A moment where you know you’re going to die?”
“I haven’t.”
His lips twist into a muted frown. He looks young, the way he used to in high school. He stares out of the darkened window at nothing. At the walls of the underground tunnels. At blackness, pure and complete. The bags under his eyes are more prominent. Because of the lighting, maybe. “You think a lot of things. You realize a lot of things. And none of it is particularly fair.”
This has to be manipulation. He’s good at that. He always has been. But—something about this moment feels vulnerable, and you’ve never known Geto to be vulnerable. Not with anyone. Even on the brink of death, even just recovered, his chest still terribly scarred—there was nothing. He smiled at you and Ieiri before he left, that fox-teeth smile you hate so much. I’ll be back shortly, he told the two of you, as if his blood wasn’t coating the bottom of your shoes, staining the skin of your knees, clotting underneath your fingernails.
You’ve read people for long enough that you’re sure: this moment is different. “Why do you want me to read you?” you ask, so quiet that your voice is nearly swallowed by the sound of the train wheels scrolling across their metal track.
“Because I want to know,” he says, his voice a little hoarse at its core, “what you see.”
You shouldn’t. You’re too kind. Kento tells you this often.
You shouldn’t.
When you put your hand out, palm up, Geto places his fingers atop yours so gently—a breeze of a touch. And then: bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. suguru should we kill these guys ? bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. it could’ve been different i could’ve been different bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. bodies. we could do it together no. i could do it alone bodies. bodies. bodies— You vomit onto the floor of the train.
Geto is on his knees in front of you, clear of the mess, and your fingers are tangled in his shirt, fists bunching the material at each shoulder. You want to let go so badly but you can’t—you’re heaving, sobbing, your forehead pressed against your fist, tears running hot onto the back of your hand.
It’s just so bad. It’s so terrible. He wants this to happen. He feels like people deserve this. You never should have let him convince you to read him. You shouldn’t have been drawn in by the vulnerability. Not when—not when it’s that in his head, still, a decade later.
You can’t stop heaving, nearly retching. You can’t stop pulling in breaths too quickly, not deep enough. Your forehead is flush against his shoulder now, and your tears are staining his shirt, and you can’t let go. You’re paralyzed.
He holds you while you cry. Only touches your back, your arms. Not your hair or face or hands. You couldn’t handle it again. You couldn’t handle it again but you can’t move right now.
As you quiet, as your breaths turn slow, heavier, you realize he’s been speaking to you. Maybe the whole time—you’re not sure. Quiet reassurance. It’s okay, you’re okay. Breathe.
You don’t feel okay. You feel more sick than you ever have. “Why would you want that?” you ask, and your words blend into tears. Into panic.
He’s quiet, one large hand smoothing down your back over and over, as if reassuring you that you’re safe. Safe in the arms of someone with that many bodies in his head. He sighs, tired, and his breath makes your hair flutter, caresses the curve of your ear.
The shock of fear to your system from realizing just how close he is gives you the strength to pull away—to sit back in the seat again, untwine your fingers from his shirt. It’s creased on each shoulder from your vice grip. There’s vomit on the floor of the train to the right of him. He’s on both knees in front of you, hands in his lap now that you’ve freed yourself from his grasp.
Was it real? The vulnerability? The hoarseness to his voice when he told you that he wanted to know what you would see?
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“Why would you want that?” you repeat.
He sighs again. Sits back on his heels, begins running his hand through his hair before remembering it’s tied up. He just leaves his hand on the top of his head, fingers curling inwards until he’s gripping his hair, and you wonder if it feels the same as it did on the night you read him for the first time. “I don’t know,” he tells you.
The train stops again. The voice says something you don't hear. You can't get up. “That’s not true.”
The doors close and there's the whistling once again, the darkness that surrounds the both of you, the speed you can just hardly feel. “Why did you decide to quit being a sorcerer?” he asks.
You don’t want to tell him. “There were a lot of reasons.”
“How is it fair?” He drops his hand. His hair is disheveled, just like his shirt. He looks so un-put together that he hardly resembles the Geto you’ve always had an image of in your head. “So many of us die. So many of us have injuries that take years to really heal. And it’s their fault. Humans.”
“You’re human.”
“I’m a sorcerer.”
“They’re not mutually exclusive.”
“I’m the one that has to deal with the consequences of their actions,” he says, as if that means something. As if that puts him in a different group from them entirely.
“So you want to kill them?”
“No,” he says, quick—because that’s what he’s supposed to say, you think. Then he quiets for a moment and seems to actually consider your question. “No. But—I do think about it.”
You both sit with the admission. Though the train car is empty, you feel cloistered, walls too tight around you.
“It makes me worry that I’m not a good person anymore,” he tells you.
“Did you want me to read you so you could decide whether you’re good or not?”
“I wanted you to read me because when I heard about those little girls that died, Satoru had to talk me down from going to that village and killing everyone.”
The conductor comes on the speakers, announcing the last few stops. It's both shocking and reassuring to have another person so close. You can't believe this conversation is happening in such close proximity to a person that couldn't even begin to understand the nature of its contents. Strangely enough, the admission quiets some of the fear inside you. Because you can understand it, on some level. Those girls were sorcerers. They were also nine.
“I had to see if there was anything inside me that didn’t want to do it,” he says. “Because—if there’s not—”
“I don’t see everything,” you tell him. There's more you could say, but you've never been comfortable revealing the true extent of what you can do. You've been a tool for long enough that you know being more effective begets more use. “I don’t think you should use me as a metric.”
“It’s obvious that what you saw wasn’t very good.”
“They starved to death,” you say. “I’d be angry too.”
And you're not angry, you realize. Not in the way that he is. Two little girls were starved to death for being somewhat different, and you can't get yourself to feel more than disgust. More than frustration. Parts of you have been quelled over time—being a jujutsu sorcerer necessitates this. You can't get angry over everything because everything is unjust, and everything is unfair, and eventually it'll all build up. Maybe into what Geto is experiencing now. If you hadn't desensitized yourself like this, maybe you would have bodies in your head.
It's unlikely. Not to the extent he does. But it's not like you're a stranger to violence.
“Maybe I’m not a good person because I’m not angry the way that you are,” you say.
“I don't think that's true,” he says, smiling, a little slight and a little sad.
It's the only time since you'd read him at the edge of death that you don't see fox teeth—but the smile is still not entirely kind. His words don't speak of reassurance. Perhaps a sort of envy. You're familiar with want. Uncomfortably so. You recognize it even when you try not to. Maybe he wants to feel the way you do. Less angry. Or maybe he does truly see you as good, in a certain context, and he wants to be there on that level with you.
“The first time I ingested a curse," he tells you, “I was so sick I couldn’t stand. I didn’t realize how awful it would taste. There’s nothing I could compare it to. After it was done, I threw up until my stomach was empty, and then kept going. The stomach acid burned my throat so badly that I had to go to the hospital. I was still young.”
You stay still and quiet. You don't want to relate to him so you try not to.
“And sometimes I wonder—would any non-sorcerer ever understand that? Could they?”
You try not to, and you fail at it. “Will you show me?”
He looks at you in askance. You don't tell people that you can do this. Only Kento knows. It's not something you should allow Geto. Not when he scares you the way he does.
“The first time,” you say, because despite knowing you shouldn't do this, it's that sick curiosity again that pushes you forward. And maybe something else—a want. A need to relate. To be sure that someone else has known what you've felt your entire life. “If you really concentrate on the memory—I want to see it.”
To show you, he touches your face: it’s so dark and i’m scared. and mom said to come home soon. but i saw this thing and i want to see if i can beat it no. i’m lying to you. there is a way i want this memory to go. i am a good child and i want to go home to my mother but i am so curious. i am so curious i am so curious. i want to see what that thing looks like when i kill it. i know i can. i know i am different. i scare my mother and father and they still love me very much because it is so dark and i am so scared and i am just a child. but i am not scared. i follow the thing into dense trees that shadow the park. i play here with my friends. i kill it. i don’t know how i know what to do but i do and !!! oh !!! god !!! oh god please. please. please. don’t make me do it again don’t make me do it again don’t make me do it again i want to go home i want to see my mother i do i’m sorry it hurts it hurts oh god oh i want to be good. i’m sorry. i want to be good. i’m sorry. i want to be sorry. i’m god.
The way you come out of a reading is usually like a free-fall without a parachute. One second you’re tumbling through the air, and the next you’ve been abruptly stopped. Being shown something is different. Kento would show you his childhood when you asked, moments with his family, bad parts of missions that he didn't want to voice but still wanted to share. It’s a little easier to stomach.
Usually.
His hand lingers near your face, resting on your shoulder. He’s so close to you and he smells like very expensive cologne and you suddenly see how tired he is. His smile hides more than you thought it did. Maybe more than you had been looking for.
“Do you have a final verdict?” he asks. “Or should I decide for myself?”
There’s a predilection in him, you think. He’s predisposed to anger, the self-righteous kind. So is every other sorcerer you’ve ever met. And yet it’s different with him—more complex. Something else is very wrong with him. Deeply.
“I don’t like it when people touch my face.”
“I can keep that in mind.”
“I want you to apologize.”
“Of course,” he says, gentle. Was his voice always this gentle? Or is it because of all he’s shared with you on this train? “I’m sorry.”
The doors of the train open and a tinny voice announces that you’ve reached the last stop of the night. You missed your station a long time ago. You’ll have to pay for a cab. “I don’t think you’re a bad person,” you tell him. “But I'm afraid of you.”
He nods. Sits back on his heels again. “Will you be okay getting home?”
“Yes,” you say. “Thank you.”
You make it home just after one in the morning and lay in your bed with your clothes on and you don’t sleep. You don’t sleep at all.
i will link part two here when it is posted!
#geto x reader#suguru geto x reader#fics#this took me forever to write that's why im posting part one im like this will actually make me finish part two#geto is just SOOOOO hard to write#like incredibly. i am like. hope i did. at least a little justice lmao#if there is anything I forgot that I should put in the tw or the info pls lmk!!!
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"Catching the fox." Daryl Dixon Imagine.
(Not my gif!)
Jesus only caused problems since you, Daryl and Rick met him during a run, but that doesn’t prevent you all from having a little fun. (Even if you come home empty-handed)
A/N: Based on what is probably the funniest episode of "The Walking Dead" to me. I wrote this a while ago but I'm posting it for my friend, who actually finds this funny hehe Sorry if this is long and boring :c Spoiler alert: Jealous Daryl is my favorite Daryl! I hope you like it!
“So… hunky-dunky. Uh?”
In front of you all, an empty, silent road is always pleasant. Nature wasn’t lost after the apocalypse, not completely, and although the green color of the grass disappeared slowly with the passage of time, Mother Nature still retained her place in the world. Sitting by the window in that big truck full of food, the wind pushes some strands of your hair as you breathe in the fresh air. And, sitting in the middle as Rick drives, Daryl glances at you as he checks Denise’s list.
“Don’t…” He says, warning you, making you chuckle. It was the word that Eugene used when he gave Daryl his map, always using fancy ones. At his side as he drives the truck down the hill, Rick chuckles, too. “Why ya never gave me a list?”
You watch the list in his hand and then, you look back at him.
“I think it's impossible to get a high definition TV with surround sound system so I can watch the games again like in those old days. You know, the ones that were on TV before the world went to hell.”
Both men look at you with a funny look, and you look back at the window as the truck approaches that abandoned gas station on the left side of the road. There are papers and trash everywhere, and Rick parks near the gasoline pumps. All of you get out, but since the silent street is free of any walker, you walk around while Rick goes ahead to check the store door.
“We had that shit in our apartment? That round sound thing.”
You chuckle before turning around towards him, smiling innocently.
“Surround sound system, love, and no, we didn’t. We were always fooling around so we never really had time to watch the games. Remember?”
Your words catch him off guard, and his innocent eyes look at you until he understands what they mean. A second later, the boldness shines in his blue eyes and he closes the distance of a few steps between you two. Daryl encircles your waist with his right arm and pulls you gently towards him, his forehead resting against yours.
“Are ya makin’ fun of me, sunshine?”
You shake your head, softly.
“No, but why?” You whisper. “Does that turn you on?”
“Really?” Rick complains, suddenly, closer than you thought he was. “Now?”
You chuckle pulling away from your husband.
“Sorry, bro.” Says Daryl, taking his arm off of you.
Rick looks at you two with a sarcastic expression and raises an eyebrow.
“I regret coming with you two.”
But he is joking and lets it go quickly.
Daryl walks over to the black machine lying in the corner, noticing it is a vending machine turning upside down. Although Denise said it wasn’t of the utmost importance, he wants to go back to Alexandria with a gift for Tara, just because Daryl understood the feeling of trying to do something nice for another person. So, minutes later, Rick rolls over the machine with a chain attached to the truck, and as he gets out and walks towards you two, the glass shows that the interior is full.
“It’s soda and Candy.” Rick says while Daryl removes one of the chains. “Why the trouble?”
“It ain’t a trouble.”
But suddenly, out of nowhere, a man turns around the corner and pushes Rick on his way out, raising his hands in the air as Daryl and Rick take their guns to aim at the stranger, your own hand holding your weapon hidden behind your waist, as a reflex in the face of danger.
The bandana that covers half of his face shows only his pretty eyes.
“Hi.” He is agitated, as if he has run for a long time. “I was just running from the dead.”
“How many?” Daryl asks while Rick steps back to look at the corner of the lonely place, searching for any walkers close by.
“10. Maybe more. I’m not risking it. Once it gets to double digits, I start running.”
Daryl doesn’t trust him, and he keeps pointing at him with his gun.
“Where?”
“About a half a mile back. They’re headed this way. You probably have about…” He wiggles his head, looking for the right number. “11 minutes.”
The distrust doesn’t go away, but Rick is the first and the only one who lowers his weapon.
“Okay, thanks for letting us know.”
“Yes.” The man breathes through his bandana. “There’s more of them than us. Right? Gotta stick together.” He looks at Daryl, due to his gun still pointing at him. “Right?”
Although that stranger appeared from nowhere, he finally lowers his gun, too.
“You have a camp?” The man asks.
Maintaining the safety of Alexandria was the main thing, and being selective with the new people you all let in was the first rule until you all knew they could be trusted.
“No.” Daryl says.
“Do you?” Rick asks.
The man thinks about it for a few seconds.
“No.” He finally says, and then, he looks at you standing next to them. “It’s just you two, with a woman?”
Before you realize what he meant, Daryl raises his weapon quickly, his hand tightening around it in anger.
“Ya want me to shoot ya, asshole? She’s ma wife and you’re gonna say yer sorry.”
The man breathes in and Rick looks at him.
“You better say it now before he shoots you.”
Before looking at you, the man looks at Daryl who is still pointing at him with his gun, so the new one does it. You don’t think what he said was an insult, but it is better to follow the situation calmly before Daryl shoots him for real.
“I’m really sorry, madam. I didn’t mean to offend you.” You move your hand in the air to minimize the misunderstanding, telling him it was okay. “Well… sorry for running into you. I’m gonna go now.” He turns around and starts walking, talking over his shoulder. “This is the next world; I hope it’s good to you, guys.”
Daryl and you share a confused look as Rick watches the man walk away.
“I’m Rick, these are (Y/N) and Daryl. What’s your name?”
The man turns around again and pulls his bandana down.
“Paul Rovia. But my friends used to call me Jesus…” He extends his arms out, casually. “You pick.”
“You said you didn’t have a camp.” Rick answers back. “You are on your own?”
“Yeah.” He looks at you all with a sudden confidence. “But still, best not to try anything.”
However, Daryl doesn’t seem impressed, or intimidated.
“Best not to make threats ya can’t keep, either.”
“Exactly.” And the man starts running out of there.
“How many walkers–” Rick tries to ask, but Daryl cut him off.
“No. Not this guy.”
However, Rick makes his question anyways.
“How many walkers have you killed?”
“Sorry! Gotta run. You should too.”
And he disappears around the corner.
Running into new people is still strange, but that situation was a new kind of strange, and hard to understand too.
“What the hell was that?” Daryl asks.
“Yeah. He was clean.” Rick nods. “His beard, it was trimmed.”
“And he was way too confident to be just by himself.” You say.
Rick nods again, because if the man is strange to you both, then that is more than just a coincidence: something else is happening.
“He didn’t have a gun, either.” Daryl frowns, looking down the path Jesus took.
“We could track him.” Rick put away his gun. “Watch him for a while. Get to know him more. See if he’s really alone. Maybe bring him back.”
“No.” Daryl complains, his voice always low and husky. “That guy calls himself Jesus.”
But then, a noise from the back of the place attracts everyone’s attention: all of you go there, encountering firecrackers exploding in a barrel before hearing the thunderous sound of tires against the pavement.
“Shit.” Daryl says when he realizes the truth. “He swiped yer keys. Didn’t he?”
The moment you all get back to the front, the place is still empty, with the truck full of food moving away up the hill.
“Sorry!” Jesus yells as he drives away, taking the vending machine with him, too.
The three of you stop in the middle of the road, watching with frustration as the truck goes away under your eyes.
“Shit.” Rick says.
The vending machine leaves a path on the middle of the road, like breadcrumbs to track down the thief, until you find it halfway on the way. Daryl opens the case to secure Denise’s sodas for Tara while Rick and you catch your breaths after running up there. The strands of your hair stick to your forehead, while the beads of sweat begin to fall on theirs.
“This is a special request from the doctor.” Daryl says, showing Rick the soda can, opening one to give it to you.
“Hey…” Rick breathes and takes the broken one Daryl gives him. “Whatever she wants. She saved Carl’s life. We didn’t know her, and she turned out to be all right. And if there’s still people out here, and they’re still people, we should bring them in.”
“What? Like this guy?” Daryl points to the road Jesus left.
“No, fuck that guy.” Rick shakes his head and looks inside the machine for something.
You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, your mind full of thoughts about what had just happened, but without saying anything, at least until you can formulate a coherent opinion.
“What’s on your mind, (Y/N)?” Rick asks when he sees you looking at the ground.
“Well, I just think that…” You doubt if you should share with them what you are thinking, but it is a waste of time while the truck is still moving. “It’s nothing. We should keep going.”
You try to take a few steps but Daryl stops you reaching out his arm.
“Hey.” He says softly to you. “S’okay, jus’ say it.”
You are not naive; you know how that world works now. Not only were the alive against the dead ones. That life was a battle against other people as well. However, not everything was black and white. Or it was?
“I don’t say that what he did is right, but no one steals for pleasure these days, so maybe he did it because he needs it, too.”
Rick wiggles his head slowly, half of him giving you the reason because that is true although nothing apologized what that man did.
“So what?” Daryl frowns, his temper rising again. “Would ya jus’ let him go with our stuff?”
His personality is like a roller coaster, full of constant ups and downs, but luckily, you know how to handle it.
“Don’t talk to me like that, Dixon, and it was you who said I could share my opinion. But I am not saying we should let him go just like that. Hell, no.”
Daryl gives a step back, confused by your sudden change of mood, just like his own.
“So?”
You frown back.
“The truck is ours. And, if in this world the strongest ones win, that will be us. So, we will get it back.”
The force in your eyes and the way you look at him catches him completely. But Daryl is no longer shy, and although he likes your privacy as a marriage, he can’t help but tangle his hand in your hair, softly.
“Since when ya are this ballsy, woman?”
Playing, you push his hand away.
“Fuck you, Dixon. I was like this long before I met your ass.”
“I really hate you both.” Rick says, making Daryl chuckle.
“Sorry, bro. S’jus’… she looks so hot right now.”
You chuckled as Rick raises an eyebrow.
“It’s because we ran until we got here. Now, we should get going.”
At first, you try to be understanding to the request of both men asking you to wait behind the bushes while they surprise the stranger, who just finished fixing the tire of the truck parked in the middle of the road, away from the danger posed by Paul, or Jesus, or whatever he chose to call himself, but you can’t help but compare him to a fox, somewhat elusive, almost slippery as he managed to dodge the blows of Rick and Daryl, who were hit in the stomach and pushed against the truck, respectively.
So, when Jesus turns around, he stops dead with your gun pointed at his face, his hands in the air.
“You would really shoot me in the face just for a truck?”
You tilt your head, taking the safety off the gun your dad gave you for protection before dying.
“No. Not in the face, but maybe in the legs just below the knees so you stop being so slippery.”
He takes a deep breath.
“You wouldn’t do that.”
Behind him, Rick and Daryl raise their own weapons, making you lower your own.
“Oh, trust me, pretty boy, I totally would.”
But suddenly, before you can say more, a walker comes out of the bushes, grunting at you all.
“Do you even have any ammo?” Jesus asks, but Daryl and Rick are already tired of him, and both shoot the walker at the same time. “Okay, again, are you gonna shoot me over a truck?”
“There’s a lot of foot on that truck.” Rick says. “The keys. Now.”
In the end, Jesus gives them the keys and Rick ties his hands and feet up to leave him there, on a side of the road.
“The knots aren’t that tight.” Rick says to him. “You should be able to get free… after we’re long gone.”
For his part, Daryl growls when he sees that some of the soda cans had crushed during the fight, with all the content dripping from his backpack.
“Maybe we should talk now.” Jesus smiles when Rick walks away.
“Nah.” Daryl walks pass him by and makes you walk with him to the passenger seat. But first, he stops to shake a can and throws it at Jesus. “Here. In case ya gets thirsty.”
When you two get to the passenger seat, Daryl goes up first, and though he has to move to let you go up, too, he leans down to take you by the waist to help you go up to sit between his legs. You are a little surprise by his action, but he just closes the truck door and chuckles as Rick moves the keys around his finger.
“You were right, (Y/N).” He smiles at you as he starts the truck. “We are the strongest ones.”
As the truck begins to move, Daryl leans back against the seat and shows his middle finger out the window.
“So long, ya prick!” He yells at Jesus.
The loud music in the truck accompanies you all the way. As you lean your arm against the window frame, the wind makes your tied hair move back, in a soothing and peaceful way. Daryl’s right hand continues to rest against your waist beneath your t-shirt, holding you against him while everything around is still fine.
“He ain’t that pretty, y’know?” Daryl says quietly over the music, after a long moment of silence.
You frown, turning slightly to look at him.
"Are you kidding with me? I was just messing with him. Jesus...” But you laugh when Daryl frowns, even though you just said the name of the son of God, not the stranger’s. "That's not what I meant!"
He snorts, but before he can answer back, Rick talks first.
“Hey, look at that.” He says, pointing something on the road in front.
A barn. When you get close, the even path changes for an unstable one as you all enter the barn’s lawn, but, out of nowhere, there is a blow that comes from the roof, getting your attention before theirs.
“You hear that?” You ask as Daryl lowers all the volume of the music.
“I think that son of a bitch is on the roof.”
And then, Rick is really tired of that fox.
“Hold on.” Rick steps on the brake and the truck stops abruptly, throwing Jesus through the air until he falls in front of you all.
But then, he just gets up on his feet, and runs away. It is ridiculous. It is almost comical the way Rick drives to chase him down the field, but in the end, it is Daryl who has enough of him.
“Motherfu-” Daryl stops himself to take you by the waist, and he moves from under you. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”
Before you react or before Rick can stop the car, Daryl opens the door and gets out of the truck to chase after Jesus on foot.
Rick drives near them as you sigh.
“Sometimes I can’t believe I’m married to that man.”
Rick laughs and tries to move the truck to block Jesus, but that elusive fox is more agile, so Rick steps back the truck as Daryl and Jesus swing from side to side in the middle of the field, waiting for one of them to take the first step.
“We should clear the way for them.” Rick says when some walkers around the place start to move too close to them.
You open the truck door, moving away from it, pulling the knife from the sheath of your waist.
“We came to a conclusion, asshole!” Daryl yells at Jesus, still in the middle of the place when he runs away, so Daryl looks at you two before start chasing him, again. “I got him!”
Some walkers were tied up around another truck, and you and Rick make them fall when they manage to break the rope free.
Back in the truck, Jesus opens the driver’s door and tries to get in, but Daryl grabs him from his jacket and tries to pull him out.
“Come ‘ere, ya little shit.”
No one sees it coming, no one pays any attention, but a walker comes up to Daryl from behind, walking dangerously until it enters Jesus’s view. So he raises a gun, watching Daryl without moving.
“Duck.” He says.
Daryl understands it at once and crouches. The bullet flies over him and enters directly into the walker’s head causing it to fall. Daryl looks back and studies the body on the ground before turning back to look at Jesus.
“Thanks.” Daryl breathes out and punches him on the face. “That’s ma gun! Come ‘ere.”
The shot pierces your ears and Rick’s, causing to both of you to look at the truck in the distance, and you two run to them. Daryl tries to pull Jesus out of the truck, but Jesus knocks it into neutral, and the vehicle starts rolling into a pond behind. Daryl jumps out of the truck and Jesus followed him, but his head gets hit with the door and he passes out. When Rick and you finally reach the place, you watch Daryl moving Jesus with his boot as the truck sinks.
You sigh heavily when you all see the last of that truck before it disappears forever.
The new car you all get is old, ironically, but Rick keeps driving through the silent road in the middle of those huge trees. From the backseat, Daryl pushes Jesus who was still pretty unconscious, but his body continues to fall back on Daryl’s shoulder.
“Is he your new best friend?” You tease him, making Daryl groan. “I’m getting jealous, actually.”
“Be quiet, woman.”
“I told you I could go in the back with him.”
“Yeah?” He says. “Over ma dead body.”
Just to annoy him even more, Rick moves the car so that way Jesus’ body would fall back on Daryl. He growls again, pushing Jesus far from him as Rick drives back to Alexandria.
That same night, Daryl and Rick walk down Alexandria Street back to their homes after leaving Jesus in the basement. He was fine despite the hit, and by now they just had to wait for him to wake up in the morning.
As they arrive at Rick’s house first, it is time to say goodbye.
“It is pretty stupid of us to go out there. Isn’t?” Rick asks as he goes up the stairs of his porch.
“Yep.” Daryl says walking away. “Do it again tomorrow?”
“Yep.” Rick answers watching him go. “Tell (Y/N) to come.”
“Hu-uh.” Daryl waves his hand to him.
Two houses away, Daryl goes up the steps to the porch and opens the door to his house. The only light comes from a lamp on the table in the living room, shining with an amber color. Daryl closes the door behind him and watches you come out of the kitchen.
“There’s a couple of sandwiches in case you’re hungry.”
But he just walks towards you while you stop in front of the stairs. You are tired but it had been a funny day in spite of everything, and you laugh when Daryl wraps his arms around your waist to lift you up.
You hold yourself with your hands on his shoulders, your legs around his waist.
“Nah. Jus’ want some time alone with ma wife.”
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omgg jing yuan + hybrid (bonus points if it’s a fox hybrid!!)
fem!reader \ kinktober
the room is kept dark and cool and quiet, just like a proper fox's den.
yet unlike a proper fox, you don't have a mate. and the heat, bubbling up within you, begging for a release, has no place to go.
you pace the room relentlessly. your wallpaper is scratched to pieces - you'd begged jing yuan to let you keep it, if only you had something to whittle down your insanity.
jing yuan...
you curl up in your bed as if in a trance, finding a piece of his clothing that you'd hidden away under all the blankets and pillows. it was wrong, you knew, for a hybrid to treat its owner as means for a release - but you could hardly care at this point.
you bury your nose into the cloth. his scent had nearly all but faded, but in this time of the month, all your senses were hyper-alert to a potential mate. and jing yuan…
a wave of ghostly pleasure has you trembling, fingers inching towards where you needed them the most. how many times had you chased your own release the past few days? yet it hadn’t seemed to improve your condition in the least.
as if on cue, someone taps at the door. “puppy? can i come in?”
your tail sweeps a couple of cushions off the bed in your enthusiasm. you weren’t a dog at all, but by the time jing yuan had found out, the nickname had already stuck. not that you minded. puppy sounded much better than fox.
“come in,” you call, stuffing his clothing back under the blankets.
the door creaks open and jing yuan pokes his head in. “how are you feeling?”
the sweet, fresh scent of jing yuan nearly sweeps you into a high. you can feel yourself leaking already, pussy clenching and unclenching just for him. the sight of his soft, white hair, kind face, and the slight outline in his pants…
“puppy? are you okay?” when you take too long to respond, he widens the door and steps through.
you feel frozen to your spot. there’s no way he can’t smell your desire for him, is there?
he kneels by the bed, reaching out to rub your ears. you press your face into his other hand, relishing in his redolent scent and gentle touch.
"jing yuan..." when you open your eyes, he's regarding you with an expression of such concern. "jing yuan, will you do anything to make me feel better?"
"i will, puppy." when you hook your fingers into his shirt, he obeys, coming up to sit on the edge of the bed. "what do you need?"
you tug him down with a sudden force - it's easy to forget that hybrids are part wild animal. "i need you, jing yuan, please..."
with your thighs open wide beneath him, exposing your soaked-through underwear, you see each miniscule expression pass over his face, his scent changing ever so subtly as jing yuan struggles to keep his arousal in check.
you put on your best puppy eyes. "please... it hurts so much..."
he exhales ever so slightly, before covering your eyes with a hand. you take two shaky breaths before you feel a slight pressure, tracing up and down your slit ever so lightly.
it takes every muscle in your body not to make a noise or move when you hear the sound of clothes being shed, and then a hot, heavy warmth against your mound.
"jing yuan..." you allow yourself a quiet whimper.
jing yuan pulls the corner of a blanket over your eyes in response. "don't look at me, puppy. or i'll feel too guilty to carry on..."
you nod, tail wagging eagerly.
he massages around the outside of your lower lips for a moment, rubbing your slick between his fingers. "you're so wet," he murmurs almost imperceptibly to himself. your ears twitch.
the pad of his thumb slides over your clit, pulsing under his touch. you're so sensitive that you shudder, struggling to keep your legs apart.
"be good," he whispers, and you feel his heat over your entire body before something hot and hard prods at your pussy.
"please," you all but beg. "please, please."
the tip slips in easily, and your whole body convulses as your walls ripple and suck him in greedily.
he groans, low and gravelly, a sound full of restraint and desire that you'd only heard through thin walls.
"you're so tight, puppy." jing yuan chuckles tightly, breathing hard. "no wonder you've been so down."
he kisses you sweetly, and you all but grind yourself into him, feeling every vein pulse and nudge against inside you.
"so good, so good, please, need more..."
"okay, okay." he pushes himself into you, and you cry out in pleasure, the tip kissing your cervix. he begins to thrust shallowly.
"not enough, not enough-" a growl slips into your voice and you bite it back, feeling your face warm.
jing yuan laughs. "anything for you, puppy."
he pulls himself clean out, giving you a moment of anticipation, and slams back into you.
you howl in pleasure, scratching at his skin. he sets a relentless pace, your back arching as he stimulates that ultra-sensitive spot within you. your hands fly to your clit, rubbing frantically, squirting pre-cum all over him.
jing yuan pants, lifting your thighs onto his shoulders until he's battering you into the mattress, his balls bouncing against your clit with every thrust.
"i'm cumming, i'm cumming-" the thought of jing yuan finishing inside of you, filling you up warmly, was enough to send you over the edge. "inside of me, please, please-"
your mind goes white, your body writhing and jerking as you cum the hardest you ever have, squirting all over his dick. dimly, you feel thick, hot ropes painting over your stomach, jing yuan groaning your name.
#hsr x reader smut#hsr x reader#x reader smut#honkai star rail#star rail#hsr smut#x reader#jing yuan smut#jingyuan smut#hsr jing yuan#jing yuan#jingyuan#kinktober
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Witches road // part 4 (Fem!Reader x Agatha Harkness)
Forever tag:@missmelodramatic,@alex--awesome--22, @ellie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve , @queen-of-books , @glimmering-darling-dolly , @denkisclown , @wildieflower , @meyocoko , @justanothercoco, @subjecta13-thefangirl , @m-rae23 , @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr , @swampything07, @melsunshine , @panhoeofmanyfandoms , @venomsvl , @the-uncoordinated-house-cat , @rosecentury , @imagines-by-her, @evilcr0ne , @vviolynn , @niktwazny303 , @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 , @erikasurfer, @slythetic , @p0nycurtis , @quailbagutte , @fantasticcroissantpandagarden, @lanfear-is-my-darkmistress , @thefutureisus2020 , @r-3-becca , @fantasticcroissantpandagarden, @hor1zond1ar1es , @emril-osvigne , @eliscannotdance , @thepotatoislost
Summary: The Salem Seven have found Agatha. Leading you all to run for the next trial. Where messages from the past clear the mist just a bit while another darkening rises. [Witches road series]
Through many miles of tricks and trials, we'll wander high and low
A fox stood with its front paws on a log. Darting off behind a tree. A crow cawed loud, flapping its wings. The fox reappeared darting from one place to the other. Crossing a snake. Slithering through the leaves. Curling and spasming into a little ball. The snake enlarging as two arms slithered out of it’s skin. A snake shedding their skin. The crow came landing down to where the snake was, cawing loud .
The hand reached out to grip onto the crows neck. It screeched loud before its neck grew thicker. Feathers settling with skin. The snake that had shed it’s skin had fully turned to a human form. The crow’s legs stretching as feet appeared down below.
With a simple gesture they removed the hand from around their throat, taking a deep gasp. They shared a look before others came joining. Seven in total. Salem’s seven. Their demands carried off by the wind. Howling like a banshee’s cry into the night. Agatha Harkness.
Agatha Harkness. Teen shot up with shock as the gush of wind had overwhelmed his senses. Frantically he looked to his side, seeing you already sat up. Listening to the winds whispers as well. A glance in return from you, made him fear the worst. Agatha Harkness. The wind whispered making the others shoot awake. – “What’s that?” – Jen asked. Lilia shuddered out a breath. – “The Salem seven.” – she replied keeping a hand on her chest.
“Long black coated figures?” – Teen asked to specify. Lilia nodded. Agatha chuckled a bit nervously at their arrival. – “We didn’t close the door. We’ve brought them here.” – Lilia explained. Agatha Harkness. Sending chills down your spine. – “We’ve got to run!” – Agatha shouted already taking her leave. All of you started to run after her.
Following the path with the hunt going on. Through a narrower path came Agatha to a stop. Panic written all over her face as she heard them in front of her. – “That came from in front of us.” – Alice said. Lilia and Jen had already turned to run the other direction when it appeared their presence alerted them too.
“They are at the back too.” – Alice pitched in. Feeling them close in. Salem seven all around you. Salem’s seven on the witches road. They were there when the door opened and they’d be here when you’d die. – “How do we get out of here?” – Teen asked. You looked up sensing them in the winds.
Knowing they’ve come to claim your souls. Knowing you’d be dead before you’d reach the end if you staid. You pushed Jen a bit aside to reach the other side. Pulling at the thick roots. – “We go old style.” – you said. – “No!” – Lilia immediately protested. Teen curled up a smile, finding it exciting.
“What do you have against brooms?” – he asked ripping off a root as well to claim as a broom for Agatha. – “They are culturally forced upon us. Reflecting domestics on us.” – Lilia responded. – “And they are simple.” – Jen finished taking her broom.
Agatha eyed you making you face her. Holding your broom out, you and her started to circle each other. Speaking in tongue to finish the ritual. Then you handed each other’s broom out for the other. Agatha taking yours as her fingers brushed against yours. Making her flash her gaze teasingly at you.
You took her broom over, staring at the root. Hearing the faint of your own past screams in your ears. Agatha who already sat on her broom, shouted at you. – “Y/n! On!” – You snapped awake, getting on your broom. Holding tight to the root, you flew up. Letting the wind carry you. It felt like eternity since you had flown and it felt liberating.
The entire coven flying after each other. – “Salem Seven!” – you shouted loud to alarm them that they were coming from down below. – “Higher!” – Agatha yelled back, leading her broom up. Everyone followed. Higher and higher you went.
A blood moon rising from over the tree tops. The witches road down below. High and high you went. Up to the top. Better look below. The road increasingly coming closer. Tumbling and soaring in the air. The road pulling you down once more. There was no escaping the path. Chained and shackled to the road. Down, down the brooms went. Spinning and tumbling in a flash to reach the grounds fast.
Feet touching the ground, you stumbled forwards. Broom behind as you tumbled further till you bumped against a fallen Teen. Both looked briefly at each other before helping him up. As a cry for help, the next trial. Never had you all ran so invitingly over to it. Embracing it and nestle in it’s warmth for protection. With a glance at the door, you got shoved inside. A change of wardrobe to fit a slumber party at summer camp.
“Who’s trial is this?” – Teen questioned. Always coming up with the right questions. – “Agatha’s.” – you responded looking her way. Agatha looked uncomfortably back at you. – “Who says that?” – she responded, masking her fears with loud cackling. Tilting your head, you knew just how much of that was a lie. Swallowing nervously, she distanced herself from the coven.
The others set out to find the first instructions. You kept your gaze on Agatha, seeing how nervous she was. Agatha seemed to have picked up your glance. Clearing her throat before looking away. Knowing there was little she could hide from you. Teen pulled out an Ouija board. Setting off a timer on your watches. 30 minutes. 30 minutes was all you had. He read the rules as all of you came closer.
Tick tick tock, the time was ticking. You came sitting down with them, moving your fingers over the pedal. As Agatha was initiating the session, you weren’t sure what devils game she was playing. Mrs. Hart name got spelled out. Lilia’s hand got pulled back out of shock. Agatha moved back, changing her expression.
Taken over by Mrs. Hart… or so it seemed. Quirking your eyebrow up, you felt a sense of devilish game. This was no way near funny. Teen called her out on it as everything went serious once more. This time you felt for real. A shift in the atmosphere. A presence nearing down to join the living. Called back from behind the veil of lingering death to have one last chance to speak.
Hands moving as the pedal moved over the board. Spelling letter after letting as it all became clear. Agatha calling it to stop as it was spelling her name. You glanced her way, keeping an eye on her. – “What do you want with me?” – Agatha asked. The pedal moving once more over the board. P-U-N-I-S-H. Agatha gasped loud, letting go of the board.
“She let go!” – Jen called out. After the words had been called out, changed it the night. – “We must punish Agatha!” – Jen shouted. Agatha crawled back, waving her hand beggingly to not. The others closing in on her.
Lights flickered drawing thy attention away. Agatha gone as it made everyone freak out. – “Agatha?” – Teen called out, flashing his flashlight around. His light went up, lighting up a figure. It made him scream at Agatha’s face. Agatha dropped to the ground. Skin as grey as dried out parchment. – “Agatha stop playing around.” – Jen called out. Agatha’s body twisting and breaking as she crawled backwards over the floor. Straight over to you.
You immediately jumped out of the way. Her face looked up to you, hissing loud at you. Your familiar jumped in front of you, hissing right back at her. Scratching her once across the cheek. Lights flickered hauntingly. Agatha’s figure gone once more. Alice helped you back up by your arm, asking if you were okay. You nodded, joining the others as Agatha stood up stairs.
Her body twitching and spasming as the grey drew away out of her face. She shuddered the feeling off. Mist oozing down the steps till it rose. Rose till it formed out a shape. A spirit. A ghost. You immediately knew who it was before she needed to say her name. Agatha’s mother. Her gaze went over you all till her eyes rested on you. – “You.” – she said with a point. It made everyone look at you. Agatha’s eyes curious with worry.
“You are not supposed to be here.” – she said with a stern glare. Taking a deep breath, you tried to deafen out your past screams. To blink away the scenery of the women. Roots snapping around you. Crawling all the way. – “Mother?” – Agatha spoke confused looking between her and you. Sensing something was off. – “Did… did you?” – Agatha asked for her plea was not heard. – “Go forwards and leave Agatha with me.” – Evanora proclaimed.
“Gladly.” – Jen was the first to speak. – “You can’t leave her here. Not with her mother!” – you made clear with a glare at Jen. Knowing just how awful this woman was. Agatha came rushing down the stairs. – “Please don’t leave me here. I can be good.” – she cried out. Holding her arm out for someone to take it. – “Please I beg you take me with you.” – Agatha was desperate.
Her gaze shifting towards you. – “Y/n…” – she said hand out to you. You rose your hand to take hers. Just before your fingers touched her mother took over once more. – “No!” – Alice called out, shoving you out of the way. Hands out she channelled an orange energy. Hitting Agatha in the chest. Evanora drawn out. Spirit separating from the living.
Agatha felt the power. Moving her hands out the orange swirled with her purple. Spreading out to sniff out the orange. – “No! Agatha stop!” – Teen shouted, seeing what it was doing. It was draining Alice’s powers from her.
Agatha kept drawing her magic. Claiming it as hers. Teen rushed to Alice to pull her away. You joined him, pulling her down. Magic stopped. Alice fell down with a thud. Sucked dry. In shock you stared down at her. – “She was trying to save her! And you killed her!” – Teen shouted at Agatha. – “I… I didn’t know… I couldn’t stop it…” – Agatha replied shakingly.
“Yes you could!” – Teen responded angrily. He knelt down to Alice. You looked at Agatha with disappointment and fear in your eyes. After all those years, she hadn’t changed. She slipped out. Teen got up, going after her. You still knelt beside her. Letting your fingers brush over her face down to her chest. Eyes closed to sense any life on her. Asking the elements for any sign.
“Agatha!” – Teen shouted loud. Agatha came to a stop. – “So that’s what it means to be a witch? Killing people to serve your own agenda.” – Teen asked. She licked her lips brief, turning her chin up. – “No not for me.” – he finished as Agatha came closer. Smiling wickedly at him.
“You are so just like your mother.” – she teased flicking her finger off his chin. Teen pulled disgusted away from her. Lilia and Jen moving behind him. Agatha turning round to take her leave. Lilia and Jen hurrying after her to not let her leave. Teen’s jaw tensed. Fingers tingling with energy. Lilia and Jen grabbed Agatha by her arms. She needed to be punished for ending Alice.
Teen clenched his expression. Blue energy forming through his fingers like hoops. With a loud cry, he blasted Agatha back. Sending her to a puddle of mud. – “No… no wait.” – Agatha called out. Splashing and crawling her way out. The puddle swallowing her whole. Teen then charged his anger towards Lilia and Jen. Swallowed by the puddle of mud.
Teen curled up a tiny smile. His appearance slightly changed. They should see you in a crown.
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[Closed RP/ Winter Special] Christmas Special and Alternate Universe in “ Winter’s Last Guardian”
In the Cold and Snowy Days of December and Freezing Cold of the North Pole as everything was going Normally and smoothly and straight but then something Happens..Something Dangerous…Something Unheard of… Like Christmas Eve is in trouble…the also the Winger Fox as well…
“A about 7 hours ago…”
“Dawn: Ugh why is it taking so Darn long?? And why do we have to wait for these “Special Edition Wishes” to be made anyways Its just too hard to make and it’s a waste of time!”
“Dawn stop it and you better watch what you’re going to say next don’t wanna be on the Naughty List again like last time”
“Dawn: Look Alex It’s a waste of Resources too don’t you see the problem?”
“Alex: I Don’t It’s what the Children want and wished for it’s what the Innocent Children and Families deserve”
“Dawn: well I still think it’s a-“
The two Little elven Toy makers were interrupted by the announcement of Their names being called to come to the show up at the office as Dawn Sighed and Alex Cleared his Throat as he walked with his trustworthy Friend to the office as there was a Very Special Person who Has Taken care of them ever since they needed help as it was…
“Mrs Clause: Hello My Little Elven Friends it’s good to see you again”
“Dawn: It’s good to see you too Ms. Clause you look very special today”
“Mrs Clause: Well it’s Nearly Christmas Eve and I would always love to dress appropriately for the holidays hehe!”
“Dawn: Well everyone has to dress up for Christmas “
“Mrs Clause: that is absolutely true Dawn Now I Must let you two know that the Toys need to be reconfigured by changing their appearance they have updated on how they looked”
“Dawn: Well That’s a Good News on the resources that is needed”
“Alex: We shall reconfigure them in a Swift hour!”
“Mrs Clause: Good You two are making great progress and work that I am Proud of as well and I will assist you in reconfiguring them!”
Mrs. Clause smiles and was Helping the Elves in making the toys as she was also trying to the Find The Winter Fox the one in which the North Pole needs to protect at all costs but then they came across a Message saying that the North Pole and Christmas will be in danger as Alerts have been issued all around as something or someone is trying to Take Control of the North Pole and the most alarming news is that Santa is now Missing as Ms. Clause Then Called on Winter’s Guardians to Help the North Pole and Find Winter’s Fox but only One Remains and that One Guardian was the last Hope of Saving Christmas and Protecting the Winter Fox….
“Now….”
“X.I.N: Elijah! Elijah! Wake Up!”
X.I.N Calling out Elijah to awaken as Elijah Ultimate is the Last Winter Guardian and who is in a Deep sleep dreaming about his Future until it was Interrupted by the certain Yelling from X.I.N as he is the Companion of His As Elijah Has Many Years of Training and Experience and Even Has some very special abilities and has a very Extraordinarily Special Personality…
“Elijah: WHAT?!”
“X.I.N: The North Pole Is In Trouble and They need your help and No the Others can’t do it they’re… Offline “
“Elijah:…. Darn It all…Fine let’s go Save The North Pole…”
Elijah is one of the Legendary winter Guardians And as Elijah Thinks That the Others are like his Family and as He Suits up since he’s in a Much Freezing location [-90 degrees Celsius] as he uses his Newly Created Teleportation as he is at the North Pole but at a High Mountain as he then now notices who is Attacking the North Pole as it was some Dark Elves and Other elves and some monstrous creatures working in taking control over The North Pole like it was a Inside Attack as he also sees Krampus and some other unknown figure As he gets a Message saying that “Santa is Missing and The Winter Fox is now No where to be found and is needed to be found and protected as Elijah thought of saving the North Pole by teleporting inside but then something happens when trying to teleport in as he is then in the skies and is falling as X.I.N is Calling out for Elijah to wake up as an alarm was on in his white metallic suit of armor in which Santa gave him the suit has immunity to cold and Fire and has a special Ability to restore Armor until….
“X.I.N: eli….eli…!! ELIJAH!!”
“Elijah: Huh…? What’s going on… what happened…?”
“X.I.N: You’re Falling Down in the high sky and is about to hit the Ground in Ten Seconds!”
“Elijah: H-Huh?! Ahhhh!!”
Elijah was screaming and then landed on ground but not until hitting and destroying a few Trees and hard snow and a few rocks as his armor Has been broken down and Was Covered with Some Scratches and slashes as he shakes his head wondering where he is as his body wounds heals quite quickly…
“Elijah: Ok… X.I.N WHERE ARE WE..?”
“X.I.N: Tokyo, Japan…”
“Elijah: Wha-?! OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! Why are we at Tokyo?! We’re supposed to be at the North Pole!”
“X.I.N: Because this is the last Place where the winter fox is and The First Task is to find and Protect the Winter fox before anything happens! Your teleportation is busted for now you can only teleport for short distances”
When Elijah is out of his Suit he wears some Cold resistant clothing and has the best training as he explores Tokyo and finds out that the City is Celebrating Christmas Festivities as he also hears some arguing as he checks it out as he Sees five Unidentified Men Threatening someone who was a Lady that he cannot see as he Goes Apprehended all Five men immediately and then…
“Hey Are You Alright…Miss?”
He asked the Lady as he walked closer and Immediately saw the Lady’s Hair color as Elijah was going to say something but then the Lady Spoke First…
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That Awoooo Inside You, Pt. 2
Fandom: The Wild Robot / Fink the Fox
Pairing: Fink <3s OFC fox Farrah
Rating: G all the way, don’t worry. This is keeping in the world and disgustingly wholesome. Prolly too clean for tumbles 😆
Warnings: None. It’s for cuteness and for heart.
Summary: After the events of The Wild Robot, a new resident joins the island. She’s a little withdrawn and Fink finds out why.
A/N: This chapter is mainly for @brandylyn because it means so much to me that she wants to read a simple story about a little yearning fox.
PART 1
For the past many mornings Fink had woken to an empty hut, the little heap of leaves near the door where Farrah preferred to sleep flattened and empty. As much as he knew he could just track her by scent, it wasn’t necessary anymore. He knew where she was.
And his heart sank a little.
He’d been hoping for the day when he’d wake to find her still sleeping, at peace, or the night where she’d fall asleep before him, comfortable in her new home. But her ears always remained alert, feigning sleep into the night, and she was gone by first light.
Not that she wouldn’t come back to join him for meals or to play fast-as-the-wind with the possum kids. But he supposed she went to the cove in the morning for the same reason she slept near the door.
Hoping to catch a whiff of home.
There’d been two full moons since Farrah came to the island and she adjusted fast to their strange way of life. She wasn’t as hard driven by hunger as some of the other animals and gained from their talks that was because food had been more scarce where she was from and she was patient when it came to waiting for meals. Fish and shellfish had already been a big part of her diet.
So she must have come from another island…but Fink couldn’t be sure. Anytime he’d ask more about it, she’d change the subject or go quiet. And she was very very good at being quiet. Probably had to learn that with fur like hers. It’s a wonder she made it to maturity without proper camouflage. Silence and speed would be her only options.
Except when she laughed. She laughed loud and high, almost a cry when she was really going. Farrah was easy to amuse and he made sure to do so whenever he had the chance. He wanted to see her happy and settled here. With him.
And he just liked to hear her laugh. Nobody laughed at his jokes like she did.
“That is the look of a lovelorn fox,” Paddler dryly declared one day, turning away to scrape away at a massive trunk with his crooked incisors. Fink had just cracked a joke at a squirrel’s expense–and not a clever one either, something about the size of nuts–and Farrah had laughed before bounding off after a butterfly. The beaver’s remark made Fink realize that he was wearing a dopey grin and he shook it off, but not before Paddler added, “Be direct. Build her a dam to show how you feel.”
“I’m not going to give her a dam.”
“But I’m telling you, fine fellow. We may be swimming among the trees as a pike in the waters of the river, yet the ladies still love a good bit of worked wood. You have that home–a good design, said because, as you will remember it is mine–but a little riverside palace of her own? Eh? What a treat.”
Fink rolled his eyes, playing cavalier. “It’s not like that. We’re–” over in the near clearing, Farrah’s fur sparkled white in the sinking sun, her head tilting side to side as she watched two butterflies dancing, trying to pick up on their whispers, quiet and still….and beautiful. “--friends.”
“Ha!” Paddler choked on a laugh. “You fool no one, sir. Just give her a treasure and be done with it. I’m telling you a dam always does the job, but I suppose you must do as your ilk do.”
“Is that why there's no Mrs. Paddler?”
“Oh ho! I have had my salacious share of affairs, I assure you. My dams are well-given and wide spread. I am focusing on other projects at the moment,” he boasted with a grand gesture towards his gnarled tree, and turned back to his gnawing.
But Fink hadn’t let the beaver’s advice sift completely to the background and after a particularly good day of digging holes for grubs and laying in the sun-warmed grass, it was Farrah herself that completed the thought.
“Okay. You get to take one feature from any other animal and add it to your own. What are you stealing?” Fink rolled on his back, belly to the sun, black paws bent and hanging lazily.
“Uhhhhh,” she sighed. “Mayyyyybe racoon paws?”
He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Ugh. Really? You’d lose your ability to run fast.”
“Yeah, but where am I gonna run here?” she smiled, teasing, and his tail twitched hopefully. “And I bet they’re useful for arranging bedding and…holding fish…and…oh! I bet urchins would be so much easier to crack open, no more getting spines in my jowls…”
“Wait!” He flipped to his stomach then, his claws digging in the dirt, eager to run, eager to share the idea that had just come to him, ready to bound and yip but controlling himself–she was skittish if he was too bouncy–”You like urchins??”
“Of course. Do they live here? I’ve never found any.”
“Come on. I gotta show you something,” and he took off running with the breeze at his back, which carried the information that she was following and keeping up with him as he made his way through the trees and down the sloping landscape to the shore.
Running straight for the goose flats, he turned abruptly at the shoreline and went crashing though some bushes until they came to a bluff wall. But instead of coming to a halt, Fink took a leap, knowing which ledges were wide enough to hold him, and which led out to the sea. From there, he was able to round the corner to a small cove. With the tide out, it was a completely isolated beach, not even a sand bird or seagull.
“Welcome to the northern most point of the island,” he explained with a sweep of the paw. “When I don’t wanna dig clams to a soundtrack of honks, I come out here. The tide leaves little treats too. Cockles, a dead fish, sometimes an eel. Sometimes though–” he scanned the stretch of beach, his heart skipping at the sight of a dark little blob, “--there! Urchin!”
Dashing over, he sniffed at it and, finding it still fresh, held it down with one paw and expertly cracked its underside open with his teeth. Then he sat back high and proper, very proud of himself, and offered the feast to her with a flourish. “Madame.” Surely this would be it. This cove was his little secret, his treasure to give her. And serving up delicacies with humor? He just wanted to make her smile…
But Farrah had stopped nearby, distracted, her strange eyes–one light, one dark–searching the sea, her nose activated, taking in the air.
“Uh…Farrah?” Snapping to, she closed the distance, and Fink cocked his head. “Everything okay?”
“Oh, of course. I just caught a whiff of–” she fought off a glance to the sea. “It doesn’t matter. Oh wow! The urchins are huge here!”
“Yeah,” he chuckled nervously. “It’s a specialty here. You’re gonna love the recipe. This one’s for you. Dig in.” As she did, Fink turned fully toward the water and scanned the horizon, trying to see what had caught her attention but found no scents or sights out of the ordinary. “This place is a little secret of mine, but you’re welcome to it anytime.”
“It’s nice here. Quiet.” She licked her jowls, taking in the last morsels of the delicacy. He still hadn’t turned from the sea and just as he meant to ask what had pulled her attention, she surprised him by coming to sit beside him, not just near him, but right beside him, shoulder to shoulder, flank to flank. “Thank you.”
Success. He sat still, paralyzed, trying to keep his heartbeat from racing, his tail from twitching. She liked his gift, she liked his shared treasure, he could feel his paws wanting to happy tap in the sand and the springs of his hips wanting to leap in triumph.
But still he sat. Because she had finally come closer and he knew even a twitch would send her just out of reach again, no matter how badly he wanted to curl his tail around her–not only to warm her but to protect–his foxy instincts running high.
But still he kept sitting, as long as he could, watching her from the corner of his eye as she sniffed the wind and seemed to be relaxing around him.
Not long after that, she was gone in the mornings and he’d track her here to this cove and peek around the bluff wall to find her sitting in almost the same spot, looking out toward the sea. The first day he’d found her, he’d startled her and she ran off in a flash, not coming home until after dark.
After that he left her be and went back to the goose flats for breakfast. She’d join him soon enough and say nothing about it, smiling as if all was fine. But she never sat so close to him again and she still slept every night with perked ears near an escape route.
After a while though, he tried a different tactic. He came out into the cove and sat at the shore as she did–quiet and still–only still very far away. He’d let her pick up his scent before moving closer and sitting nearby, matching her gaze to the sea, and they would sit in silence for a short moment before she would perk up as if all was well and backtrack to the wall and therefore getting on with the day, nothing more about her alone time to be said.
Until today. Poking his head around the bluff he found Farrah on her feet, trotting up and down a short length of the shore, eyes on the far, far horizon…and then he noticed the smell.
Snow.
There was an iceberg far out to sea, not unusual for late spring on some years, but not altogether common either. They never came close and were often in and out of sight within a morning. This one was drifting further away and Fink watched as Farrah tracked it going, looked after it even when it was too far to be seen or smelled, finally sitting with a little sigh and sink of the head.
And then he understood.
One recent night they’d been looking up at the stars and Fink had pointed out The Great Crack in the Sky, his friend Roz had told him its name was Cassiopeia, whatever that means. That’s when she told him that in her home, they called that group of stars The Iceberg Edge. The elders of her pack used it to teach kits not to go out onto the ice when they saw the pattern of this constellation on the ground, because it meant the ice was breaking up and going out to sea.
This is how she came here, she told him, caught on a piece of spring ice that broke away during a clutch of warm days. It drifted too far out to sea for anyone to hear her howling. When it was almost melted out from under her, she was lucky enough to swim to a piece of debris and huddle on it for a few days until there was an upset and she was in the water again and the next thing she knew she was waking up in the hut with a bear blocking the exit.
It seemed like yesterday and ages ago all together.
Once she noticed him sitting down the beach, this time he moved closer and sat quietly for a little bit before speaking slow and low.
“You…miss your home, huh.” As he expected, she only blinked down at the sand, and his ears fell to a droop. But she wasn’t running off or changing the subject. Maybe if she wasn’t ready to talk, she might be okay with listening. Fink swallowed, realizing he was about to say some things out loud for the first time. “I felt the same way when I came to this part of the island. My mom kicked me out pretty early and I was run off before I could really learn the ropes. It took me a long time to forgive her. I know now that it wasn’t her first choice, that there were too many males and not enough females so I guess she was afraid I’d get targeted. But I was pretty darn lonely for a long time.”
“What changed?”
His breath caught as she spoke up, but he managed to recover and answer. “I found friends. Really amazing friends. I hope that for you too. It seems like you’re off to a good start. Especially if you keep giving Pinktail a break from her spawn.”
At least she cracked half a smile before letting it fade again. “Friends don’t replace family.”
“No, not replace. But they can become another kind of family. I have proof.” He’d told her enough about Roz and Brightbill, and Thorn spent enough time in the hut that he knew she understood. “But I’d like to hear about your family…” and here he couldn’t help himself, his self-interests creeping in as he tested his chances, “...I assume you mean your mate and kits…”
Here Farrah gave him a look so sudden, so bewildered and distressed that he was about to ask her if he’d overstepped, but instead, that laugh of hers broke out, although not as loudly as usual.
“I was talking about my mother and siblings. They were my whole world. They had to be. The food was scarce so the families were spread out and…well. Mate? That’s… I’m obviously nobody’s first choice, I mean, just look..” She stuck out her tongue and made a silly face, tilting her head from side to side.
Fink could only blink, perplexed.
The breeze picked up, but the scent of snow was only a memory now, the water a flat line. Farrah’s nose pointed down to the sand again, her half smile diminishing by half again for a moment. Fink leaned forward, words starting to bubble up, words he thought he’d never get to say to another fox. But before he could say what he’d been holding down, she shook off the mood and feebly tried to make it a non-issue, abolishing the silence between them.
“Have I ever told you how my sister once head-butted an elephant seal?”
“Ah…no. Really?”
“Really!”
“Huh. What’s…an elephant seal?”
“It’s–oh! Sometimes I forget…of course you wouldn’t know...!” Then that laugh again, launching into the story, starting with an impression of the seal–although if it was a good impression or not, he couldn’t tell having never seen one. But he knew somehow by her laughter that it was. She was suddenly back to normal, comfortable to be herself when it was only the two of them in this little hidden cove.
No mate. She had no mate. This was good news. For him. But sad for her. That is, if she wanted one. What if she didn’t–? Wait. What did she mean by that? That nobody would choose her? Because of her fur? Because she was a runt? Maybe that made sense in a place where she would have to hide from predators, but she wouldn’t have to do that here. And even if it was necessary, he could protect her…probably. If she wanted that... Even so, she’d be okay. If he learned anything from Brightbill it was that sometimes the will to survive past nature’s plan for you makes you even more likely to outlive everyone else.
He could certainly feel nature’s plan working on him and thought with a little grin that he would gladly give up a longer life for that plan to work out….
But Farrah was speaking, talking about her family, their annual rounds from point to point in their territory, how she and her sisters used to share everything and hide and pop out to scare their mother and she would do her very best to act frightened. And the nights dancing under the green light curtains! Had he ever seen the shifting lights in the night sky? He had to admit he hadn’t. So he put his wonderings aside and laid down in the sand, crossing his paws and listened, learned, and bathed in the light of her widening trust. They had all day until the tide came back in. And Fink had no need to be anywhere but here.
He hoped in time, she would feel the same.
___
PART 3
SERIES MASTERLIST
MAIN MASTERLIST
#the wild robot#the wild robot fanfic#fink the fox#wholesome#fluff#that awooo inside you#that awoooo inside you#fink x farrah
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