#desperate to have the last say

[usefulquotes7]

“Anger to me was like being chocked, desperate to have the last say, to spit my final words.”

[ask-the-colony-tree-siblings]

Gourmand: Any minute now.

Hunter: …I-

Arti: I’m sorry!

Hunter: Huh?

Arti: I-I’m so sorry. For attacking you, and for- for everything. 

Arti: I’ve been such an asshole to you.

Hunter: …Yeah you have been an asshole. But I fucked up too, I didn’t know what I was saying. I thought… 

Hunter: …it doesn’t matter what I thought. I shouldn’t have said that. I, uh… I-I heard about your k-

Arti: Don’t. It’s in the past now.

Gourmand: Is it? 

Gourmand: You attacked him over saying something that triggered you, so no, it doesn’t seem to be all in the past. 

Gourmand: It isn’t fair to hurt someone for not knowing something that you never told them. 

PART ONE IS DONE!!!!!!!!! Part two will probably come in about, uh, seven years, give or take. /j

(It isn’t perfect, but it’s been too long and I needed to get the first part of this comic out. I’m honestly super happy I finished, because it was unnecessarily hard lmao. Anyways I’m gonna ramble in the tags now)

[demi-pixellated]

a redesign: to sate my personal sensibilities

[jesuis-assez]

↠ Tim & Lucy ↳ 5x04 - The Choice

[whatudottu]

Something something cerebrocrustacean headcanons, yada yada Dr Psychobos is not immune to the in-group bias

He's doing the one thing Azmuth did not do, viewing Malware as a son with special needs Dr Psychobos is fully willing to support :P

[wikitpowers]

imagine ty slowly sliding his hand into kit’s hair while they kiss and kit just trembling at the contact

[marshmallowgoop]

ShinRan Week 2023: Day 4 | Black Knight and Princess

[etoilesombre]

[id: a set of eight images from Black Sails. The first image shows Mrs. Hudson speaking to Woodes Rogers, with the text "She said you should trust that her commitment to you remains inviolable." The second image shows Flint and Silver together in Madi's house after her presumed death. The third image shows Eleanor in the fort firing on Rogers' ship, with the text "and that this is no betrayal..." The fourth image shows Flint taking the cache ashore on Skeleton Island, viewed through a spyglass. The fifth image shows Eleanor and Rogers talking in bed, with the text "...but an act of love." The sixth image shows Flint's face during the Dragons speech. The seventh image shows Eleanor lying dead in Flint's arms, with the text "An act she is determined to see through to its end." The eighth image shows Silver pointing a pistol at Flint on Skeleton Island. /end id]

[pynkhues]

I read somewhere that Rolin specifically wanted Louis to be a brothel owner because he thought it was important for his character that he have the same casual view on the exploitation of people’s bodies as book slave-owner Louis. These are important aspects of his character that I feel the show handles with more nuance and care than the books. Louis should get to have his negative qualities!

(x)

Yeah, I think I read that too, anon, and honestly, I think it really makes a lot of sense for his character, and also is a part of what makes him really interesting? This is a bit of a tangent, and I've got a half-drafted longer reply to someone else's ask about this that I'll post eventually, haha, but there's so much stress on Louis as the most 'human' vampire in fandom, when I think that's both true and untrue? I think Louis feels very connected to human expression (most clearly seen through his love of art and literature), while having detachment at best and derision at worst for the humans who create it (best seen through his cruelty around the artist in Paris, but also his gentrification of San Francisco in the 70s and abandonment of the people in 2.01).

In a lot of ways, even that in itself feels like the embodiment of capitalism, and like - - it's been fascinating to see this embrace in fandom of Louis as a capitalist and yet this sort of denial of the reality that successful capitalism relies on the exploitation and abuse of people for the sake of profit. That exploitation and abuse almost always involves intersections of racism, misogyny and classism, which Louis has absolutely been shown to participate in.

Like, God, in the first episode alone, the Alderman Fenwick tries to anally rape Bricktop, and someone (well, Lestat) murders Miss Lily, and Louis doesn't even bat an eye. Maybe you could make an argument that he had commercial interests at risk with Bricktop, and was distracted by his brother's death and Lestat's Whole Deal by the time Miss Lily was killed, but I think to deny that his flippancy towards both crimes isn't inherently steeped in misogyny and a devaluation of women's bodies and lives, is pretty naive.

I think people tend to think misogyny is just about hating women, and it's not. It's about upholding patriarchal structures and values that oppress and objectify them, and having ingrained prejudice against them. Louis absolutely uses women as a pimp, and I think even at home upholds patriarchal family dynamics with both Grace and Claudia. I've touched on that before, and linked to those posts there, so won't get into it here, but yeah! Louis' relationship with women is complicated and usually paternalistic, dismissive and - ultimately - about him, even with the women he - genuinely! - loves.

And when I say that, I mean it as literally the opposite of a criticism. Like you said, he should be allowed to have negative qualities! Those negative qualities give him texture and humanity and make him real, and are one of the reasons the show's version of him is so, so compelling.

[oaxleaf]

one of my favourite of arthur's traits is that despite having a lot of the prerequisites for becoming one of those grizzly, "i don't care about anyone or at least pretend not to" - dead daughter, dead wife, quite a miserable life overall tbh - he's never characterized as such. arthur is someone who desperatley seeks out connection with people and makes no attempt to hide it. he and john would have never gotten through those first two seasons if arthur wasn't so willing to forgive john for a lot of the admittedly really awful things he said. the only time they've had a falling out that lasted longer than, like, a day, was in the prison pits. once he made up his mind to make amends with daniel he did so almost immediately. he is genuinely such an open person who seems to strive after close relationships. and he puts in the work in. which makes it hit even harder that he hardly ever gets to keep those relationships

[eternal-moss]

When people continually whitewash my favourite characters.

[ID: A black and white, rough digital drawing of someone sitting at a desk and clutching their head in their hands. End ID.]

^thank you @describe-things

[ppeachybees]

UNFINISHED COMIC !! from … last year. i started a fic for this a while back too, but couldn’t figure out where to go with it. here’s just some good ol Kageyama Parents Comforting Their Child content for now

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

I am unreasonably upset about the fact that I've been forced to accept that Gabriel was a Gerald.

For context, in An Inspector Calls, Gerald Croft is engaged to Sheila Birling when he meets a homeless, struggling Eva Smith in a bar, and essentially in return for a home and money he shows her affection (ahem), then gets rid of her once he no longer has a use for her. Now, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but the essentials are - a Gerald is a character who uses another character, in return for something they need, usually masking the fact that they're using them with affection and love.

And against my will I've had to accept that this is exactly what Gabriel does to Nathalie.

Did I want to think he had potential to be better? Did I think he genuinely cared for Nathalie?? Hell, did I just really really want somebody to care about Nathalie???

Probably all of the above but the point is: he's Gerald. And I cannot - I literally can't unsee it now. Their whole dynamic in S3 is like “oh boohoo I'm sorry I wish you didn't have to use the peacock Miraculous and kill yourself over it but uh I need to use your powers” “yeah no that's fine I'm all good”. Which, given the "Gerald" theorem, I'm assuming leads to the fact that what Nathalie needed, above all, was someone to care about her - and Gabriel came along, as Sheila Birling puts it, "like a fairytale prince", and was so caring and gentle and... Yeah. She fell for him. And. Yeah he genuinely did seem to care like twice. But so did Gerald. Gerald actually admits that he did care for Eva, just not the way that she cared for him, and, uh, not enough to not just dispose of her. So he discards her anyway when she stops being useful.

Leading me neatly to my point.

He starts using the peacock Miraculous the second it's fixed, the slimy bastard, HOWEVER. It runs way deeper than that. Assuming I'm right (which I almost DEFINITELY am), then Gabriel only needed Nathalie while she was useful. She didn't stop being useful in season three - she's still scheming for him, helping him with plan after plan. It's only partway through season 5 that she officially servers ties with him, and starts to actively hinder him.

Nathalie stops being useful when she fails as Safari. And I reckon that's when Gabriel and Tomoe decided she had to go.

(It's painfully, I-was-ugly-crying-over-it obvious in Conformation that Gabriel is fully prepared to let Nathalie die - in the original storyboard, her alliance was encouraging her to sleep, and he's very obviously prepared for this moment - I've made a separate post about it that I'll link if I can find it. However, onto the next bit)

With all of this, there's one thing that sticks out to me - Nathalie didn't see any of it until it was already too late. There could be many reasons for this. But you know who would have seen through it? Whose parents were all loving and perfect until she married the wrong man? Emilie. Emilie, who left behind those videos, which on the surface look innocent, but when you look deeper look like a (love confession???????) AHEM a warning. I reckon Emilie noticed what was going on and realised that Nathalie wouldn't see through Gabriel, so she left those videos addressed to Nathalie (not Gabriel, which surely they should have been - they were about him, after all - unless they were there...) as a warning. I don't think the videos were supposed to be about helping Gabriel, I think Emilie was warning Nathalie to get the fuck out of that house, and to take Adrien with her. Because Emilie knew it'd end like this.

Yes I'm still mad ok give me a break.

[therealraewest]

Jumping feet first into Moon Knight comics and I still have a lot of ground to cover but the difference between this in the 2014 run

Of Marc calling on Khonshu for a favor and him immediately complying vs the 2021 run

Calling out multiple times, with the same verbiage, but Khonshu only responding when he gets what he wants out of Marc (recognizing Khonshu as father) is just ugh

[carefulfears]

how do you see mulder leaving in season 9? scully giving up william? how do they deal with these things? (their guilt, resentment, futility, etc)

i know i have a realllllllly unpopular opinion on all of this but as i've said recently, i just don't think there's anything easier on earth to convince mulder of than "things are safer if you're not here."

i usually come back to doggett's confusion in the beginning, the way he keeps asking and arguing and scully just keeps saying "he's gone" and shutting it down, until the end of the premiere when he realizes: "oh my god. it was scully. scully made him go."

god, it's sad. it's hard to talk about. i teared up trying to write this, as much as i am fonder of the storyline than most. i don't find it unrealistic or out of character or unfitting of the narrative. it doesn't mean i don't feel it's heartbreaking. i have such a hard time thinking of mulder missing that baby. not even having the chance to put up a fight, walking back into empty rooms. the show as a tragedy, finding your burden again, etc. the x-files as the gap between teary smiles at baby kicks to screams in a jail cell. as what it was in the beginning: unknowable answers to insurmountable grief.

and i just think about mulder's dramatic emails, writing that he doesn't think he can survive being away from them. spender looking at the baby and telling scully he's heard "so much" about him. mulder being tortured by soldiers, saying he's just thinking about his son. keeping 1 baby photo for 15 years. "i just missed both of you so much."

scully's fertility treatments and her prayers and her tears and her "last chance" and her miracle. and how deeply unfair it is, what happened to her. i don't think a single one of us could say what we could do if people kept breaking into our homes to suffocate a child we were still nursing. she didn't ever want to do it alone, that was never the plan.

but scully desperately wants to keep everybody safe. she thinks she’s keeping everybody safe. it’s hard to be starbuck. it's this conflict i keep talking about recently where you really start to notice how controlled she is by fear, how difficult it is for her to balance it all. my favorite visual on this is the gate at the house in i want to believe: every day the way she pulls up to it, gets out, opens it, pulls through, stops, gets out, closes it. repeat in reverse. and then she comes home and she says "the truth is, i worry about you." and that he's too isolated. turns around and shuts the door, leaves the house and locks the gate.

i wrote a bit a few weeks ago about scully's protectiveness and it made me think about what a trap it can be, how defending lends to fear and fear lends to defeat. to standing in a church 25-years deep and saying "i failed." in the tags of that post i asked "could they ever recover from her exiling him from being with their child because she was afraid it would kill him?" and said i don't know. and i don't, i don't know.

but i think there's something so brave in saying: i did the best i could, and maybe that wasn't right. it's why ghouli is one of my favorite episodes. scully sobbing to her son that she's sorry. she's sorry he doesn't know them. she wanted him, they loved him. "i was trying to keep you safe. i hope you know that." and she thought she was being strong, but maybe she was wrong.

things don't always shake out the way you want them to. it was always mulder that called their son a miracle, and mulder doesn't believe in miracles. mulder believes in the world, and the search, and the after.

[rolandkaros]

gonna get emotional abt this for a moment sorry. i have to believe taylor can win a slam. like i dont know what it is i cant explain it there is just something inside of me that thinks if i stop believing he can win a grand slam then everything i love about the sport of tennis must be annulled. so i have to believe he can.