#deserved better for her world
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it’s so scary and so freeing to just be a person.
#the discovery and fulfillment of my curiosity as I go#trying to scientific observational field researcher my way through discovering#What Existence Includes#while I’m in this state to experience it#it’s like being back to my very youngest days before I started learning the major rules#when I was just sensation and experience and curiosity#making sense / making an ongoing story of the world and time itself as it flies past#personal#cult escapee#katie.txt#past me: thank you thank you thank you for holding on through the nightmare. thank you for riding out the huge world-ending pain. thank you#it was worth it it was worth it#of course it isn’t perfect but I SAID it’d be better within a few years didn’t I?#you signed up for this you made the commitment when you knew.#you tried allowing yourself to trust yourself again for the first time since age 7 or so.#you knew you couldn’t hold it all up front for that long if you were gonna survive transplanting yourself like an organ.#you knew you’d be giving up a lot. and you did it anyway because you were brave and you cared that much about how very very little you#deserved better for her world#and here you are. and here we are.#you told the therapist ‘of course not!!!’ so instantaneously and so full of belief. so dead sure on deep reflex that you could NEVER#trust yourself in a million years because even if the supernatural surveillance state wasn’t real and you didn’t have innate evilness#just from the Doctrine Is Saying So#where was I going with this. I’m typing tags on mobile and it’s religious for me but it’s also impossible as a ui#anyway my POINT WAS: it is so hard and so scary but it’s like walking into the world of Sesame Street for real.#you were right. it IS good to be alive. the whole thing all the way through is a bewildering baffling marvel. you’re ok to be delighted#about it and marvel at how wild it is that there’s so much about it all and so many things to see and think and meet and feel and do during#our spans of time#no matter what came before or what might come next#what a goddam marvel of it all. ain’t it just the strangest thing of all that we’re alive. what a marvel. what an absolutely magnificent hit#existence is an absolute absurdity
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Emma-May is God's strongest soldier </3
#juddrawing#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#emma may dixon#i love her so much she deserves the world#im sorry your husband's gay and cheating on you#you deserve better...
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“She never begs. She never gives any ground. She knows that she's right.”
(this is still a wip, but i’m not sure if i’ll actually get around to properly finishing it—i’m posting this here just in case)
#she deserved so much better. she deserved the world. i hope she DOES come back in some kind of afterlife and kills everyone who hurt her#iwtv s2#amc iwtv#iwtv#iwtv season 2#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#claudia iwtv#iwtv art#iwtv fanart#iwtv claudia#fanart wip#art wip#art#artists on tumblr#my art#vampire chronicles#anne rice
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rewatched the ronin and the bride again and my heart literally ACHES for mizu. she was genuinely happy and in love..... her giddy laugh when she goes horse riding for the first time, the way her eyes light up when she sees mikio trying to tame kai for the first time, her little shy enamored smile when mikio is explaining the benefits of using a naginata right before the spar that changes everything.... GOD.......
HER SMILE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!
#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#screaming crying throwing up i love mizu so much#i want her to be HAPPY im literally RRGHRGHHRG i cant take it#i cant get over her laugh especially SHE'S SO CUTE !!!!!! she deserves the world please.....#mikio better be rotting in hell for breaking my bbygirl's heart#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
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Dreamfyre you’re still the mother of Daenerys’s dragons in my heart and will be until GRRM comes out of his hole to tell me otherwise
#house of the dragon#anti ryan condal#hotd#hotd s2#anti hotd#DREAMFYRE DESERVED BETTER#I hate the idea that Syrax mothered Dany’s dragons because it doesn’t make sense#Arrax and Vermax look nothing like Drogon Viserion or Rhaegal#plus why the fuck are they in the vale?#until GRRM tells me otherwise#Elissa Farman took Dany’s eggs to Westeros because of her love for Rhaena Targaryen#we don’t even see Dreamfyre on screen#IM DEVASTASTED#I refuse to believe this is real#Ryan Condal you can’t fucking rewrite the literal history of the world for your own fanfic ends#I can cause I’m not making money off it but at least I stick to fucking canon
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Seralune for @bellamina
#world of warcraft#warcraft#my art#night elf#artists on tumblr#digital art#friend's oc#seralune#and ed's lost daughter no less!! what a good father he is#she deserves better look at her. she's baby
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Shes choking here mind you, she's being choked, you can literally hear it, air being almost impossible to breathe in, yet she STILL reaches out for Elora, screaming for her and trying to get to her, she's not scared for herself at this moment. She just didn't want to lose her close friend.
Do you know how painful it is to scream without having enough air in your lungs?? You can hear the raw, brutal and burn of her voice.
and y'all were a little too quick to judge on why Mel slammed "kino"s face into the wall. No she's not becoming violent, the foe killed her brother and Elora, that's the least insane thing she could do at that moment.
And this poor woman hello??? I'm still not over all these frames.
The fact that she was panicked from DRIPPING WATER just makes me wonder how painful it really was, the torture she'd been through this entire episode was insane. I'm surprised we haven't seen her bruise or bleed at all throughout the entire season, makes me wonder if she has healing abilities.
What kills me the most is that even after being hurt both emotionally AND physically, she still thinks of others rather than herself, she only ever started worrying after she woke up, she was scared, panicking, yet she never speaks of her pains, she was upset over the death of Elora. That's all she thought of, not the horrors of being grabbed, but the horrors of being unable to move and do anything within her abilities to save her friend.
She'd always been like this, ever since the death of that unnamed girl that hangs over her head, death haunts her, that's the price of having been blessed by kindred apparently.
ALSO; I apologize for anyone who'd sent me asks, I've been really busy and ill try my best to get to them as soon as I can ♡
#arcane#mel medarda#mel arcane#arcane s2#arcane league of legends#arcane mel#arcane season 2#season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane act 2#arcane act two#arcane act ii#My baby#:(#she deserves the world#she deserves better#Someone take her to bed and tuck her in and give her a smooch on the head#*cough cough*#Jayce#*cough*#Yeah you go in bed beside her too.
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Night terrors
Anya x Reader
Can be read as platonic because we all want to take care of her like we wish someone would for us
AN: As a victim of sexual assault I feel it is important to have a realistic fluff story about the aftermath of it. How it affects the person after it’s been done and how the trauma lingers. How it’s so very important for the person to have a support network. YOU will be her support network. Thank you
Also not to get political but god women in the USA are experiencing a massive increase of assaults so call this projection, or call this training for the inevitable
SUM: Despite surviving that Tulpar adventure, despite all the good karma thrown back at you all, there are just too many many scars to truly recover from
Warnings: Past sexual assault, nightmares, PTSD, whump, abortion, paranoia, it’s gonna be a stressful read, there will be fluff don’t worry, paranoia, inspired/based on my own experiences
“STOP-!”
Anya was screaming in her sleep again.
Woke you up pretty quickly, as you were sharing a bed with her. She was rather scared to sleep alone. Afraid that someone will just break in and take advantage of her. That somehow Jimmy, who long since was dead, will break in again.
“Anya-! Anya wake up! It’s me! Anya-!” You would shake her and try to get her to wake up. To get her out of that terrifying cloud of memories. Her poor face was pale and full of sweat, and she was scared awake by you shaking her. For a fleeting moment she thought it was Jimmy.
As she gave another cry, you reached over and turned on the bedside tables lamp.
She saw your face, and finally took a breathe.
You two weren’t on the Tulpar anymore. Jimmy wasn’t going to hurt either of you ever again. Swansea was home with his wife. Daisuke was home with his mother and father. And she was here with you.
She was alive.
“I….Im sorry-“ Anya sniffled, as you just pulled her into your arms. Gentle with combing your fingers through her hair. Just gentle reminders to not be sorry. To not be sorry for being justified with her fear.
“He won’t ever get you again. I promise.” You would remind her, but she would still tremble.
“Can we check the locks again?” She would ask you, and you would nod. Often times this was the case. No matter how many times she would ask you that question you never got annoyed. It’s good to check the locks anyway. Gotta stay safe after all.
You would both climb out of bed, put on your robes, and go walking around the home. One of your hands was left to be held by Anya’s, as the other would be used to check the locks on everything. From the multiple at front door, from each window, to that of the back door. Each one checked, as Anya would hug at you close.
Was a very nice home, you had to admit. After having rescue finally called, and being saved, the media went nuts. Especially on the fact Curly was still alive. Gave Anya the much needed support to show she was very worthy of a position as a proper doctor. That also meant she got herself quite the hefty salary. Also helps that she now had partial royalties to the book she helped write about the adventure on the ship.
“Every lock is secure.” You explained, as she gave still an anxious look.
“Let’s check each room, and closet. Yeah?” That made her quickly nod.
Now you two were roaming the entire house now. Checking under furniture, in closets, all the nine yards. No stone was left un-turned. You would do it a million times for her. She deserved to have some kind of relief from it all.
“There we go. No Jimmy.” You would give her a hug, and she hugged you back. Still shaken, but at least she was breathing more steady.
The two of you would return to the bedroom, where she did her routine. Checking under her pillow for her sheathed knife, the bedside for her baseball bat, the drawer for her gun, and to take an extra pill to help with the anxiety burst she was having. Her routine.
She would try and lay down, only to dart her head towards the bedroom door. Eyes wide with raw and pure fear.
“I swear I heard him at the door. I swear I did. He said my name he said my name-“ She whimpered, as you would get up. You opened the door, looked around the hallway, and returned.
“Don’t worry Anya. I didn’t hear a single thing.” You reassured, as you would lock the bedroom door for her. Along with putting a chair under the door handle. Even went as far as to double check the bedroom windows, and closed the curtains.
“I’m so sorry-“ She would begin again, as her eyes watered. She felt like such a burden. To have all this fear and paranoia. To the point she couldn’t feel safe when left alone. You couldn’t blame her though. The wounds were still so horribly fresh. Not to mention sometimes PTSD can kick in so many years later. You’ll take the morbid comfort in having it kick in now where you all can handle it now and prepare for the future than suddenly out of nowhere in God knows how long.
It is what it is.
She wasn’t the only one traumatized after all, and she shouldn’t need to apologize for justified fear.
You would pull her back into your arms, and you both laid down. You would turn on the white noise machine for her, to help block the paranoid sounds of voices and scratches from the doors, and would just talk with her. Talk until her medication kicked in to help her sleep.
Didn’t matter what it was. It was just noise to keep her mind distracted.
You wondered how the rest of the crew was doing. How they were dealing with it.
They all had family, so maybe they were doing well. Really should meet up again soon. Can’t be blamed life is so busy.
Curly was back living with his parents and siblings, which they welcomed with open arms. Even his friends before the crew were willing to all share a space to help.
Swansea had his wife and even his kids. Sure he says he’s too old to be traumatized but he keeps checking on his kids way more often now. That’s for sure.
God knows when poor Daisuke’s PTSD will kick in. He may be acting fine now but it’s gonna be a ticking time bomb. It’ll come at him sooner or later. For now his parents were feeling like monsters for pressuring him into that intern ship. He never blamed them, of course. He is even still working under a mentorship with Swansea even. Guess not everything was negative.
Then there was you and Anya. She was the most traumatized of all. There was even the trauma of an abortion. There’s still so many emotions with that as well, but you held her hand through it. Even as far as to move in with her to help. You two had always been very close. Even before joining the crew. You two were always tagged together. Even nicked named her assistant to a point.
You’ll stick with her through the ends of the earth.
“Wanna go visit Curly in the morning? It’ll be Saturday. Maybe we can even invite Swansea and Daisuke.” You offered. Just something positive to look forward to. Something worth waiting for.
“That would be nice.” She muttered, as her own paranoias exhaustion was kicking in. Too tired to even be afraid. Often times how it ends. She gets herself so worked up it ends up being the very same thing that makes her fall back asleep.
“Yeah. We can check out his new prosthetics. Daisuke said he even bought stickers specifically for them.” That had Anya smile. That sweet smile that was hard to come by right now. One that was filled with comfort. Comfort of such an innocent and sweet thought.
“Swansea says he’s also going to attach his own upgrades to it. Not sure how that will work, or what the hell he’s planning, but not gonna lie I need to see if he gives him rocket boosters.”
That got a little laugh from her. The both of you imagining poor Captain Curly flying around in the sky, as Daisuke runs around with some trampoline to try and catch him on.
Just something silly to cut through it all.
Seemed to work, as you could feel her breathing easier now. Her breath not so intense. Was far more steady, and you could tell she fell back asleep. You were thankful for it. Not because she was annoying you. No. Never. But because she needed her rest. She deserves it. She already is working long hours at the hospital, which you bet is because she is trying to avoid being isolated and alone at all cost maybe even reduce sleeping to, so she needed proper sleep more than ever.
And you’ll do your best for her. To help her with it all. You were her little assistant. You’ll do what an assistant does best. Make sure your boss is able to tackle projects easier.
And this project was healing. A project that won’t ever end, will have ups and downs, and be taxing. Over time out the ass and no vacations.
And you know what you say to that?
Bring it.
Thank you so much for reading. This was a more vulnerable piece because Anya really reminded me so much of myself. How I’m suppose to take care of everyone else, while my traumatic abuse is just swept under the rug.
Since you read all the way to the end, maybe take a look at this
National Sexual Assault Hotline:
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233
RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network)
1-800-656-4673
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
You deserve love and support. What happened wasn’t your fault in the slightest. Not even for a single second. You deserve happiness, hope, and to live a long and healthy life. Everything will be ok again. Doesn’t seem like it now, but it will. I promise
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing swansea#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing crew#mouthwashing daisuke#anya x reader#x reader#trauma#vent post#sorta#I’m using my own real world experiences in the post#PTSD#anya deserved better#anya deserved so much more#so I’ll give her more#because no one gave me anything#let me pretend I’m helping someone who needs it#because in a way I’m helping myself#healing#recovery#you deserve better#you deserve love#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing fanfic#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing horror game
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Trying to argue that Katara just wanted a peaceful life is so wild to me because every chance she got she chose violence
#katara#katara of the southern watertribe#katara deserved better#like no shit she wants a peaceful world#but don't watch atla and look me in my eye and tell me katara isn't a warrior#katara made the choice to participate in the war#sitting back and doing nothing was something she was actively against in atla#stop defending her doing nothing in lok#and stop getting mad at people who criticize her fate in lok#lok critical
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also it’s so insane how cassian’s haterism for nesta legit breaks the laws of their own universe. like mates are supposed to trump all and everything, he says so himself, yet it’s always “you can’t expect cassian to blindly defend nesta against his brother that he’s known longer” YES I CAN YES I CAN, IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING LORE OF THE WORLD THAT MATES MAKE THE GUY LOSE RATIONALITY! IT’S THE ONE THING HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO!
#HE HATES HER SO MUCH THE RULES OF THEIR WORLD DON’T APPY TO HIM!! FREEE HEEERRR#nesta archeron deserves better#pro nesta#anti cassian#anti nessian
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Sid & Nancy being intimate 💋
#70s#me and who#nancy spungen#punk#punk couple#punk rock#sid and nancy#music#sid vicious#couple goals#couple#that should be me#i love her#i love him#i love them#they deserved better#she deserves the world#he deserves the world#alternative#1970s#1970s music#1970s style
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Me: Ooooo, I wonder what this "Mouthwashing" thing is that everyone's been obsessed with lately. I should check some of it out.
Me, 30 minutes later: I would kill myself for you, Anya.
#i'm so obsessed with her#you don't even understand#i love her so much#she deserved better#she deserves the world#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#anya deserved better#anya deserved so much more#anya my beloved#mouthwashing game#look at her#i love her#fuck jimmy#all my homies hate jimmy#i will stab him for what he did to my girl#i will rip him apart with my mouth#she deserves to stab him to death at least a little bit#but honestly i love anya for so many reasons#not only is her plotline interesting and tragic as hell and she deserves better#but she is a legitimately interesting person and character outside of what happened to her#her dedication to her job and the fact that she was able to keep curly alive by herself for so long is extremely admirable#and i've heard about how she can act pretty playful and fun when outside of situations like the one she was in throughout the game#i really wish we got to see that side of her more#because it seems like her anxious and more timid personality is a bit of a trauma response which is understandable#so yeah i love her and i want to give her a pat on the head and a hug and maybe a gentle kiss on the forehead if she's okay with it#i prefer to comfort others via physical affection and i want to comfort her so badly#i don't know if i'd be the most helpful if i were a crewmate who learned what happened to her#(my way of helping would be offering to murder jimmy and i'm not sure if she'd want that because not all victims want that)#and sometimes physical affection/hug aren't helpful or preferred
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Theo Sharpe, Marina Thompson, and Eloise Bridgerton, they could never make me hate you <3
#Bridgerton#bridgerton netflix#eloise bridgerton#she deserves better from both the writers and the fandom#anti philoise#marina thompson#theo sharpe#eloise x theo#marina deserves better period#her arc is a mess#if they do to her what they did in the books i swear -#theo you deserve the world
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I just need every single person in this fandom who has ever been mean about Luke Newton to know that Nicola Coughlan hates you. Genuinely and wholeheartedly.
She hates you. Sure, she won't say it aloud, because she's a professional who knows her career lives or dies by fans, but please know that she does. She hates you if you've said Colin gave you the ick, especially so if you said it to Luke, she hates you if you've left a rude comment on his social media, she hates you if you acted like she didn't like him or that she was shading him, she hates you if you bullied the people around him, she hates you if you said something disparaging about how he looks or how he acts, she. hates. you.
And sure, it's not all people who are in her or Pen's fanbase, in fact a lot of people have been cruel about him outside of the Polin fandom, but a LOT of people are Pen fans, and hearing her talking about how defensive she gets over him when people say something rude about him? And knowing there are SO many stupid opinion blogs and youtubers and tiktokers who say they're Pen fans and Nicola fans but are mean as fuck about Luke?
I need every single one of them, in particular those who have been out here making up stupid shit to be mad at him about 'on her behalf' to know that when you say something mean about the man she gushed to her Mum about, and who her Mum was so excited to meet because she just knew he was kind, the man she introduced to her entire family, the man she is always reaching for and hugging and snuggling up to and calling wonderful and giggling around and saying how she wouldn't want to do such vulnerable intimate scenes without and complimenting and leaning on and having fun with and calling a special person in her life, she is taking off her earrings and ready to meet you outside in his honor
because she hates you for being a dick about him. hope that clears things up
#nicola coughlan#luke newton#bridgerton#polin#like damn nicola you are ready to THROW!!! DOWN!!!!#i think about all those interviews where she's like 'his eyes ARE a remarkable shade of blue!' 'i was rather defensive of you about that'#'it made me mad to hear about' 'Luke Newton is THE SWEETEST person in the whole world'#Nicola is out here going 'what did you just say about my man????'#when you're in a 'who loves Luke/Colin most' contest and your opponent is Nicola Coughlan#you will NEVER win#she will ALWAYS be on top in this competition#all of y'all who are out here talking about 'oh nicola deserves better' or making up nonsense about how luke is terrible or you're fine#with being hypercritical of him: Nicola hates you#and i for one am so endeared by that#she's one of us#and by 'us' i mean colin and luke fans#it gives me so much comfort to know that all those annoying opinion blogs and anons who claim to dislike him 'in her name'#are top of her list of people she despises#how does it feel to know that your fave detests you because you're a bully to her bestie?#i hope it feels bad
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Sometimes i think about this
I wanna know more about their childhoods like
Fryeee how many friends did you haveee?
Like real friends how lonely were youuu
Oh Frye.... I hope Nintendo gives you the depth and time in the spotlight you deserve girl....
Nintendo did such an awful job at diving into Deep Cut's past in their own game. All they did for Deep Cut was just TELLING us shit instead of SHOWING US EVENTS!! They should have shown stuff man... Showing Frye starting off as being alone and aloof, someone who was so busy that she couldn't make friends... hell, maybe her parents weren't around that much, and her grandpa and siblings were her only company.... Until she meets Shiver and develops a bond with her after skipping a class and spotting her. Maybe she skipped classes because she felt so frustrated and upset... and alone... so she sneaked out to sing with Shiver on rooftops. Ugh... Nintendo hire me I'll fucking help you guys please.
I need to write more fanfics...
#splatoon#splatoon 3#frye onaga#frye splatoon#i love her so bad#ask blog#ask me stuff#ask me anything#she deserves the world#she deserved better
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I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH
(creds to @PRSNTISS on twitter)
#she deserves the whole world#her little dancey dance#all happy#hope this month bring her better days#cutie patootie#paget brewster#idc about her age#she's still baby
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