#depression holder culture is

[holder-culture-is]

Depression holder culture is symptoms getting worse because of not necessarily our hopes for something good being crushed, but the people around us acting like it's nothing.

And also just realizing that this is a thing we probably have, because we really didn't think we had depression for a long time (as in we may have once believed it, but then we thought we got better for so long, thinking it was adhd or cluster b traits that caused a lack of enjoyment in things we would be interested in)

Bonus: this realization will come with new questioning and denial of ALL our probable yet undiagnosed mental issues -🤎

I absolutely hate it when people disregard serious symptoms, genuinely. Our depression went unnoticed for a long while because nobody paid enough attention to notice and it sucks. Hope you guys get better though!

[funniestbitchinfaerun]

Bg3 companions and what vintage fashion era I think they belong in based on vibes only

this post brought to you by my degree in costume design

Gale: with that hair he can only be from the 80s. Remember that Miami Vice guy with the white suits and pastel shirts? Gale would think he looked so cool in that fit but would be an obvious nerd anyway.

Shadowheart: 90s-early 2000s goth. she would wear those spaghetti-strap velvet dresses and chunky black platform boots. she was Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way before Ebony was.

Lae'zel: 1940s. Partly because of the militaristic nature of githyanki culture and partially because i think she would look so gorgeous in one of those Women's Army Corps uniforms with the little hats. Give Bae'zel a little hat.

Astarion: 1930s but specifically in the way of those British guys from Noel Coward plays who hang out in velvet smoking jackets all day.

Wyll: 1920s. I'm talking three-piece suits, Gatsby style. Long cigarette holder. Wingtip shoes. Doing the Lindy Hop all night. I'm swooning just thinking about it.

Karlach: Gives me serious late-70s punk energy. She needs a beat-up leather jacket with Ramones and Blondie pins and the ripped-est jeans ever. Hair can stay exactly the same.

Halsin: This one's easy. Late 60s hippie. Homemade tie-dye, flower crowns, Birkenstock sandals. Possibly one of those suede fringed jackets.

Minthara: Also 1930s in that slinky Joan Crawford femme fatale way. She'd rock those bias-cut evening dresses and fur coats. Don't worry about how she got those diamonds during the Great Depression.

Jaheira: 80s mom vibes. Her high-waisted jeans and shoulder-padded blazers conceal her superspy badassery.

Minsc: 1950s greaser in the wholesomest way imaginable. Don't fight me on this. Boo has a tiny leather jacket of his own.

[rederiswrites]

I wrote this out for FB and then thought I might as well share it here as well. So if you have ADHD, are a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD, and most particular if you are a person with a uterus and/or have children, this one might be for you.

...

Last couple of days have been a little...weird. Let's start at the beginning. Buckle up and learn something.

As many of you already know, I have ADHD. It's a condition with a PR problem--a lot of people, often even medical professionals, have a very distorted idea of what it does, and a very limited one. For starters, it's not about parenting, or lead paint, or lack of discipline. It's genetic, *highly* heritable, starts in childhood and persists throughout life, and is a sufficiently severe disability that it comes with a decrease in life expectancy of up to 13 years. It is a visible difference that can be perceived in brain scans. These are all, at this point, well established and thoroughly attested in the scientific literature. ADHD affects up to 5% of the population and appears across cultures. It is very common.

It's not just about lack of attention--in fact, plenty of medical professionals think the name should be changed, as in fact the problem isn't the volume of attention but the way we struggle to direct it. We are motivated by interest, and struggle to properly weight future goals and consequences, specifically because they are in the future. If the robin outside the window is more immediately rewarding to our brain, we will watch that, and not the teacher. Our ability to properly weigh the consequences of that choice is negatively impacted by our own biochemistry.

We struggle with many of what are termed the "executive functions", the self management systems of the brain. Degree and presentation varies from person to person, but initiating tasks, completing tasks, staying ON task, restraining impulses, emotional regulation, and working memory are among the things impacted. My working memory is notoriously horrible. When they send you those activation codes on your phone? I often have to go back and read them out several times to enter a six digit number. I have to stop and remind myself what I'm doing between every step of my morning bathroom routine, or making tacos. Sometimes I take off my glasses to put on my contacts, reset, and reach for my pill bottles while I still can't see. My long-term memory is also affected, with my husband de facto serving as the memory-holder of the family.

Another common symptom I personally experience is "time blindness", which can mean both that you have no "internal clock" that has a clear idea of the passage of time, and that our ability to properly weight the importance of things in the future is impacted. So, for example, I can know intellectually what's coming, but it takes some really complex and exhausting antics to actually focus and work on those things if they're more than a week or sometimes even a couple days away.

Without externally imposed controls, many ADHD people flounder and fail to meet social markers of success. Estimates of how many ADHD people manage to complete college range from 5% to 15%. Again: 5% to 15%! I have failed twice myself. WITH externally imposed controls, ADHD people often have to work far harder to make their brains do what is required, and either fail and develop an image of themselves as failures (usually with plenty of external help), or keep fighting and suffer crippling burnout.

To that point, ADHD is HIGHLY comorbid with a whole range of knock-on conditions, some of which stem from the same brain patterns that give rise to the ADHD itself, and others from the trauma of living with a disability, but they include very high rates of depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, social isolation, and addiction. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia my entire adult life. I have never ended up in the trap of self-medication but let's be real, that's partly about having supports and a healthy social environment. It's not some accomplishment I praise myself for, nor is addiction a sin I shame anyone for.

And anxiety has a very different texture to it when what you're really anxious about is the next time you fail in some catastrophic way. Lock your keys in the car. Completely space on a doctor's appointment. Go to pay for groceries and find that your wallet is next to your computer at home. Because the anxiety is not irrational fear of some generalized bad thing. These things do and will happen, regularly. Sometimes it feels like the only fix is getting good at recovering. Because no matter how many times you manage not to blow it, there's always another chance.

So, the struggle to be a reliable person, to be a consistent parent, to be a dependable life partner, is continuous. And it is so so so hard and it sometimes feels like you're not actually making any progress at all. I have tried therapy. I have tried three (or four??) different non-stimulant medications that sometimes help people. One of them DID help. ALL of them had catastrophic side effects. There were times as I was trialing these medications when I needed to be minded because I wasn't capable of taking care of anything, not even myself. Without Jacob, I don't know where I'd be. Not here. Probably in poverty, which is where he found me.

I have tried probably most organizational tools you know of. I have tried imposing schedules, all of which turned to dust and ash when the next fibromyalgia flareup or the next major life disruption happened. I don't think a new schedule has ever lasted a month before.

I HAVE felt like I'm made progress lately. I learned things that really helped my fibromyalgia, which gave me the space to work on other things--just like getting the borders of a puzzle finished. Enough things were spiraling upwards, and I think I might be cementing some gains. I have felt optimistic.

But in the meantime, I asked my doctor if, now that no less than three cardiologists have insisted my heart is Perfectly Healthy, I could finally try stimulant medications. After decades of use, Adderall, Ritalin, and a couple related stimulant drugs are still the gold standard for ADHD treatment and improve outcomes substantially for many people. And stimulants are in serious international shortage. Have been for many months. The only one she thought she could get me was Adderall. And she didn't dare try anything but the standard 30mg because nonstandard dosages would be even less attainable.

So now I'm taking Adderall. One week on 30mg, which I stopped when it was clear my function was being seriously impaired rather than improved. Reassessed with the doctor, now trying 60mg, because that's two of the pills I've already managed to obtain. It is....too much. And in some ways it fixes problems I wasn't working on, while so far making my executive function, my initiation or even *contemplation* of tasks, virtually nonexistant. Which was, of course, the thing I was trying to fix.

So yeah. When you have the context, I figure you can understand the substance of my frustration yourself. If you have children, I don't think you need my help to imagine what it would be like to know that you are unpredictable, or to see that your children are used to to you undergoing events that make you act strangely and erratically. I think just knowing that often, new medications introduce themselves by giving me a migraine, and I know this is possible when I take that first pill, is fairly self-explanatory. And so I expect you can imagine what it would be like, with all of this as a backdrop, to experience worsening of your symptoms, probably because of age-related hormonal changes. To in desperation try something you'd previously been denied. And to learn that it probably won't help.

In a week, I will either give up on Adderall for now or find a way to make it work. I'll put together the pieces yet again--at this point, possibly my strongest personal skill--and continue that upward climb as far as I can get. I'm incredibly fortunate in that regardless, I will be fed and dry and warm and loved. But right now, I feel justified in some serious dismay.

[beemochi-art]

Does the Matrix do any fuckery with Prime's mind or body at times? Is the Matrix even sentient?

The matrix unfortunately does create some fuckery in primes life. But not as much as you’d think, it’s more ambitious than straight forward. it’s other… factoids related to it to Op’s deteriorating mental state.

The power of the matrix

The matrix is like the key to primus (cybertrons.) spark (Aw). It creates a deep connection with the holder and the planets core. The Matrix will attach itself to the new Primes spark, where then they will get a unique feelings and a special power. Feeling that come from the matrix is usually a calming sensation, some says it’s like a powerful fire, other primes reports an endless supply of energy. It depends on the person I guess. In Orions case, the sensation he got from the matrix was calming and gentle, the feeling of absolute comfort. He ended up sleeping. (Of course he woke up depressed but that an thing Orion probably.)

But in dire circumstances the Matrix will let’s out extreme burst of energy that can cause the older to become feral and incredible violent. This is pretty rare but as of recent times Primes have made it a focus of their training to harness this power.

Not only that, but the planet as well as it’s creatures seem to bend to the will of primes. The surface of cybertron is always shifting. At times the environment will change for the prime, and other times it falls completely still. Some primes have the ability to connect with some of the most dangerous creatures on the planet. It works in mysterious ways but will never be completely tamed.

It also connects all the primes to each other, both dead and alive.

A prime doesn’t have to actually die to have the matrix passed to another. If a Prime were to die and just anyone pick it up and tried to use it, the matrix is a glorified paperweight. No one really understands how the matrix chooses and when it leaves. How long all this is or anything for that matter. It’s a mystery. It is said to come at dark times.

Even tho the Matrix is gone from the holder the bond formed with planet and past/present primes will never go away. Leading a curtain level of entitlement.

The point is the matrix never had any specific rules of in place except a description that reads till all are one. The matrix isn’t inherently a good or bad object either. It chose both sentinel and zeta at one point, but it also chose Optimus.

Right of passage

Any Rules and Rituals set in place have all been written by past primes. Shuttle interpretations her and there over millions of years just became law.

In cybertron society to be Prime is to be the emperor of the whole planet. It is the highest class system you can on cybertron. But a prime must prove themselves worthy to the people first.

One of Sentinels lessons was, if you can conquer primus creatures you can conquer her people.

So he’ll take his knights to Uraya for a lil field trip. The idea is to find the biggest baddest creature and tame it. Normally these trips are unserious and unsuccessful. But when he took Orion he was completely serious.

Conquering different cities and cultures being the main focus of most of a primes training. A prime cannot be a stranger to killing.

A prime is supposed to be a representation of cybertrons strength and strike fear to their lessers. So before they are presented to the public modifications must be made to not break this belief. Optimus is heavily modified. Most of him was reconstructed.

Older primes will share parts of themselves with the new prime. Allowing them to have pieces of their own frame. Optimus eyes are not his.

By the time a prime has been presented to the public, they have killed, dominated and changed into something else entirely. Leaving their old weaker self behind.

In Optimus quest to become strong he realized he lost his way. He never really committed to being as horrible as Sentinel classest and a complete psychopath. But he has killed.

(I really didn’t do some of these rules in order but oh well!)

[syscultureis]

System culture is why is that guy a depression holder and not an anger holder?? Like go off brain but your choices don't make sense

.

[disordered-system-culture-is]

disordered system culture is being asked if you're ok every single time you're in front because you're a depression holder that only fronts when the body isn't feeling well, getting frustrated by people constantly assuming you're in crisis, and then wondering why no one asks if I'm alright when I come around next.

-

[borderline-culture-is]

bpd and hpd holder culture is feeling like shit.

Your host keeps on pushing herself and now she just left front, not wanting to deal with anything

Everyone in the friend group is just quiet around us atp because of how much the host was pushing herself (not like we want interaction rn..)

Kind off angry that me and our dpd holder/comforter are the only people free and willing to front but we are causing more depressive episodes because we hold the collective bpd, hpd, dpd in the system

And now all we are doing rn is bedrotting.

-🌐

.

[cozza-frenzy]

The Alters Of The Magbox

Last updated September 13th 2024 - Total Headcount is 21 This post is mainly just for reference, but feel free to take a look if you've not met all of us yet, or are just curious.

Terry [Last Name Redacted] Pronouns: They/Them (Neos: Toon, Fin, Star) Species: Beyonder Theme Song: Paradise Fears - Battle Scars Likes: Seafood, raw fruits and vegetables, hot sauce, shirts that look like bowling alley carpet, electronic music, their partners (Lito, Chaos in-system, and Sigyn of The Panopticon) Dislikes: Liver, cold and damp weather, getting "front stuck", people who take jokes too far System Roles: Host, Conflict Resolution, System Management, Skill Holder (Music Theory) Tag: #Shit Terry Says

Chaos Loony Whackadoo Danger Crimefighter Gadget Stortion Pronouns: It/Its (Neos: Twist, Spin) Species: Cartoon / Avatar Of The Spiral Theme Song: Pink Floyd - Brain Damage Likes: Strawberries, rave music, dad jokes, causing problems on purpose, its adopted kid (Andy), its partners (Lito, Terry in-system, and Len of The Panopticon) Dislikes: Silence, green vegetables, causing problems by accident, other alters bum-rushing the front System Roles: Gatekeeper, Caregiver, Protector Tag: #Spiral Posting

Taffy Brewer Pronouns: They/Them, (Neos: Xe/Xer/Xem, Star) Species: Monster (Object Head) Theme Song: Peter Gabriel - Down To Earth Likes: Vegetarian curry, walking outside, plants and animals, stargazing, their partner (Roy in-system), stars adopted kid (Salvador) Dislikes: Meat, heavy rain, crowds, sudden loud noises System Roles: Self-Care, Exercise, Trauma Holder Tag: #To The Stars

(Art by our Partner System, @rinjak3 !) Martin Blackwood Pronouns: He/They Species: Beastkin (Cat-Dragon) Theme Song: Sleeping At Last - North Likes: Comfort food, tea and biscuits, pop music, drag shows, their partners (Jon Sims and Jonny D'ville of The Panopticon) Dislikes: Body shaming, the smell of cigarettes, foggy days, insects System Roles: Caregiver, Grief Holder, Emotional Regulator Tag: #Tea And Sympathy

Vivien Blackwood Pronouns: They/It (Neos: Paint/Paints) Species: Cartoon (Ragdoll) Theme Song: The Rolling Stones - She's A Rainbow Likes: Mint hot chocolate, authentic ramen, video games, animated movies & shows, making and appreciating art Dislikes: Physical contact without consent, cold and foggy weather, AI-generated images, "cringe culture", overly spicy food System Roles: Skill Holder (Visual Arts), Inner World Architect, Symptom Holder (Major Depression, Eating Disorder) Tag: #Beyond The Shadows

Andy Stortion Pronouns: He/She/They (Genderfluid) Species: Beastkin (Cat) Theme Song: Madness - Baggy Trousers Likes: Ice cream, french fries with ketchup, stickers, colored pencils, board games, asking questions, their in-system family Dislikes: Raised voices, being ignored, people in mascot suits System Roles: Trauma Holder Tag: (None yet - Andy is underage in-system, and doesn't browse tumblr without supervision)

Dr. Roy Boss Pronouns: He/It (Neos: Dark) Species: Cartoon (Supervillain) Theme Song: Guns N' Roses - Welcome To The Jungle Likes: Dark chocolate, BBQ Ribs, thunderstorms, heavy music, mad science, his partner (Taffy in-system), his best friend (Dagwood) Dislikes: Being told what to do, bright lights, unfairness and injustice, feeling helpless System Roles: Anger Holder, RSD Holder, Medical Advocate, In-System Medical Care Tag: #Boom Baby Boom

Dagwood Hero Sandwich Pronouns: He/It Species: Cartoon (Object Head) Theme Song: Morcambe And Wise - Bring Me Sunshine Likes: Ice-cream sundaes, egg salad sandwiches, veggie dogs, making people laugh, story books, his adopted kid (Salvador), its best friend (Roy) Dislikes: Jokes that "punch down", violent media, overly spicy food, swearing (for himself - he doesn't mind if others do) System Role(s): Mood Booster, Memory Keeper, System Management, Caregiver Tag: #Bring Me Sunshine

Salvador Sandwich Pronouns: He/They Species: Cartoon (Jackson's Chameleon) Theme Song: Supertramp - The Logical Song Likes: Songs by Supertramp, prog house music, spaghetti and meatballs, fish and chips, books, Grundo's Cafe (an old-school Neopets clone) Dislikes: Being touched without consent, being talked down to, being reminded of mistakes System Role(s): Trauma & Stress Holder, Knowledge Holder Tag: (None yet - Salvador is underage in system, and doesn't browse tumblr without supervision)

Jenova Destati Pronouns: It/She Species: Divine Beast Theme Song: Porter Robinson - Something Comforting Likes: Salads, berries, hiyashi chuka (Japanese cold noodle dish), music by Porter Robinson, peace and quiet Dislikes: Crowds, loud music System Role(s): Pain Management, Stress Management Tag: (None Yet)

Jeremy Hillary Nowhere (Currently Dormant) Pronouns: Any/All Species: Anthro (Honey Badger) Theme Song: The Beatles - Nowhere Man Likes: Nu Disco, turkey sandwiches, food in general, museums, debating, libraries Dislikes: Being touched without asking first, cruelty and discrimination towards persecutors System Role(s): Knowledge Holder, Former Persecutor Tag: #Framedrag

Mayhem Rossi Pronouns: Any/All (Neos: That Bastard [Yes, really! - Terry] ) Species: Anthro (Holland Lop Rabbit) Theme Song: The Prodigy - Fuel My Fire Likes: Apples, roasted pumpkin, baked potatoes, cold days, walking at night, cars & motorcycles Dislikes: People who threaten the system System Role(s): Physical Protector, Caregiver (Big Sibling to Terry and the younger alters in system) Tag: #Turn Out The Lights

Velocity Raptor Pronouns: She/They Species: Anthro (Wolf-Dragon) Theme Song: Pendulum - Hold Your Colour Likes: Video games, speedrunning competitions, pizza, rock music, drum & bass, mascot horror games Dislikes: Being talked down to, being ignored, going to bed early System Role(s): Trauma Holder Tag: #Gotta Post Fast

Raine Evenstar Pronouns: They/She Species: Demon (Nightmare) Theme Song: Radiohead - Idioteque Likes: Cooking, baking, gardening, heavy metal music Dislikes: Being hungry, feeling financially insecure System Role(s): Trauma Holder, Financial/Resource Anxiety Holder, Reaper (ends relationships and connections that are harmful to the system) Tag: #Where Hope Grows

(Art by our friend @cosmicpixel01 !) Bitter Aster Pronouns: He/They Species: Monster (Object Head Hybrid) Theme Song: Les Friction - Who Will Save You Now? Likes: Coffee, cinnamon buns, dark chocolate, snowy days, home-cooked meals, rhythm games Dislikes: Judgemental people, violence, starbucks coffee in particular System Roles: Motivator, Chores & Self-Care, Life Protector (removes urge to self-harm), Mental Health Regulator (removes intrusive thoughts and prevents spiraling) Tag: #Dust Before Decaf

(Art by our friend @cosmicpixel01, edit by @that-one-bone-anon ) Papyrus Aster Pronouns: He/They Species: Monster (Skeleton/Alligator Beastman Hybrid) Theme Song: They Might Be Giants - Cyclops Rock Likes: Chicken Wings, BBQ Ribs, sleeping in on weekends, coffee with sugar & cream, chewy stim toys, playing guitar Dislikes: Being called "lazy", being compared to his "original" source System Roles: Symptom Holder (executive dysfunction), Trauma Holder Tag: (None Yet)

Trillian Bongarten Pronouns: She/They/It/Glitch Species: Anthro (Fennec Fox Cyborg) Theme Song: Coldplay - Fix You Likes: Video games, special effects, sci-fi, the paranormal, mysteries and thrillers, Gravity Falls, their dad (Roy) Dislikes: Being yelled at, being pushed to reveal details of trauma, feeling like she's being watched System Roles: Trauma Holder, In-System Communications Tag: #Smack My Glitch Up

Legion Pronouns: They/It Species: Gestalt Entity Theme Song: The Queenstons - Quiet Man Likes: Unknown Dislikes: Being "used" by others, making decisions, drugs System Roles: Trauma Holder, Fusion Coordinator, Symptom Holder(?) (Identity Issues) Tag: (None Yet)

Morpheus Pronouns: He/They/It Species: Demon (Nightmare Prince) Theme Song: Eiffel 65 - King Of Lullaby Likes: Sleeping, creating dreams, fresh fruit, desserts of all kinds Dislikes: Feeling tired, having too much caffeine, bright lights System Roles: Self-Care, Dream Management Tag: (None Yet)

Exxel "Exi" Pallett Pronouns: They/Them Species: Cartoon (Human) Theme Song: Coldplay - Talk Likes: Pizza, writing fanfic, books, bright colors, movies, taking naps Dislikes: Being left alone, being used or manipulated by others System Roles: Trauma Holder, Skill Holder (Creative Writing) Tag: (None Yet)

Earl "Chip" Chandelier Pronouns: He/Him Species: Monster (Object Head Hybrid) Theme Song: Tamer - Beautiful Crime Likes: Chinese food, plain donuts, keeping up with current events Dislikes: Logging his presence at front, drawing attention to himself System Roles: Paranoia Holder Tag: (None Yet)

Dr. Caddy "Cupcake" Brewer Pronouns: He/Him Species: Monster (Object Head Hybrid) Theme Song: Tamer - Beautiful Crime Likes: Cinnamon rolls, museum visits Dislikes: Fights and arguments System Roles: Knowledge Holder (World History, Art History, Science) Tag: (None Yet)

Gadget Quantum Stortion Pronouns: They/Them Species: Metahuman Theme Song: Tamer - Beautiful Crime Likes: Science, technology, sci-fi Dislikes: Being left alone System Roles: Trauma Holder, Skill Holder (Maths) Tag: (None Yet)

Susan Sto Helit Pronouns: She/Her Species: Supernatural Human Theme Song: Life On Venus - For The Kill Likes: Unknown Dislikes: Unknown System Roles: Life Protector (removes suicidal ideation) Tag: (None Yet)

Tim Stoker Pronouns: He/Him Species: Beastkin (Phoenix) Theme Song: Foo Fighters - Learn To Fly Likes: Alternative Rock, home-made meals Dislikes: People talking about him behind his back System Roles: Trauma Holder, Motivator Tag: (None Yet)

"Thirteen" (Real name & face withheld) Pronouns: He/She Species: Beastkin (Nine-Tailed Fox) Theme Song: Hozier - Too Sweet Likes: Social events, fine dining, "Dad Rock", her partners (Roses in-system, Archivist Grian of The Panopticon), dishes with lots of garlic Dislikes: Alcohol, rainy days, gambling System Role(s): Inner World Architect, Trauma Holder, Life Protector Tag: #Unlucky For Some

"Roses" (Real name & face withheld) Pronouns: Any/All including It/Its (Genderfluid - best to ask!) Species: Beastkin (Honey Bee) Theme Song: Essenger - Get Your Wish Likes: Karaoke, social events, cooking, sweet potatoes, bees, their partner (Thirteen in-system) Dislikes: Alcohol, loud and grating noises, being outside after sunset System Role(s): Social Advocate, Trauma Holder, Misophonia Holder, Gatekeeper Tag: #Restless Nights

Zilly (In-System Pet) Pronouns: She/Her Species: Critter Theme Song: Sigur Ros - Olsen Olsen Likes: Sitting on people's laps, playing fetch, rolling around on the floor, her blanket, hoarding her toys Dislikes: Bees, being backed into a corner, being grabbed or handled roughly System Role(s): Emotional Support Animal, Trauma Holder, Fear Holder Tag: (None - Zilly isn't fully sapient and acts like an animal, not a person. If this ever changes, we'll update her profile accordingly)

[headmate-ideas]

Could you make one for a demon scene kid alter please? Feel free to add anything that you think would be good along as they're scene and probably Internet obsessed LMAO

���� HEADMATE TEMPLATE 🖥️

✦ Name(s): Azzy, Glowstick, Dexi ✦ Pronouns: he/him, she/her, they/them, it/its, fae/faer/faers/faerself, dae/daem/daer/daers/daemself, scene/scenes/sceneself, rawr/rawrs/rawrself ✦ Species: demon ✦ Age: age slider (14-21) ✦ Role(s): emotion holder, symptom holder (optional), social headmate, delight ✦ Labels: xenogenderfluid, pansexual ✦ Xenos: the internet, demons, music ✦ Interests/likes: digital art, loud music, staying up late ✦ Dislikes: responsibility, cringe culture ✦ Music taste: screamo, pop-punk, crunk ✦ Aesthetic(s): scene(core), webcore, emo, demoncore ✦ Kins: computer viruses, aliens, glowsticks ✦ Emoji proxy: 🦖🖥️ ✦ Details:

Azzy is a demon from Hell who is interested in human scene kid culture and anything adjacent to it. This includes fashion and music as well as cartoons (e.g. Invader Zim or My Little Pony), web graphics (e.g. blinkies and deviantART stamps), and sparklefur/eyestrain art. Dae likes making and viewing art of these things online, as well as roleplaying animal characters. His favorite websites are SpaceHey, DeviantART, and blinkies.cafe, as well as random roleplaying forums it can find. Azzy is not the best at emotional regulation and is prone to feeling things in extremes. This can include extreme happiness (as engaging with its interests can make it very euphoric) but also extreme sadness and anger. In a system that experiences disorders that cause extreme feelings or mood swings, Azzy is a symptom holder for these things. Azzy tends to take out extreme emotions by listening to angry and/or depressing music, playing video games, and making vent art/edits. The internet is very important to Azzy, which can be both a good thing and a bad thing. The internet is a portal to many of the things that make faer happy, and fae can help the system make friends by participating in communities related to those things. However, dae will not always recognize it when dae needs to take a break from certain sites or the internet altogether, and may need help from manager or caretaker headmates. However, the internet is an overall positive to Azzy and the joy he gets from his internet-related interests often spreads to other headmates.

[These can be edited and changed as needed, and headmates will almost definitely not turn out EXACTLY as described.]

[lobautumny]

This toy's been thinking off and on about AI a lot over the last few months, and it's been mulling over a lot of arguments from both sides, and there's been something gnawing at the back of its mind: It detests the concept of AI media generation, yet it finds most common anti-AI talking points to be very ineffective. And this causes the question to keep coming up in its mind of whether it's the incorrect one, if AI art really is creatively valid, if this is simply the future of art. But then, just now, it suddenly had a realization.

Of fucking course AI is not the future of art, and it's not for any deep philosophical reason about the fundamental nature of art or creativity or any of that shit. It comes down to one simple fact: Passionate artists create for the joy of the process of creation, to put themselves into their work and lovingly craft every detail. Sure, you could use AI to massively increase your output, but if you genuinely have a love for creating art, then no matter how good the quality of the AI-generated results get, that's not going to matter to you. No matter what, until the last person draws their last breath, those who genuinely have a desire to create art are going to want to make it themselves, not automate it with a machine. And that's how it is with any hobby.

For a point of comparison, saying that AI is the future of art would be like saying that AI is the future of video games and that nobody is actually going to be playing video games themselves anymore in a few years because they can just get a machine to do it better than they could. Like, even if such a machine existed, there would be no shortage of people who actually want to play the video games themselves, because their passion lies in, y'know, actually performing the gameplay.

This has also led this toy to the realization that the fundamental reason it hates the concept of AI-generated media so much, and the notion that it is the future of artistic expression, is that these ideas hinge on a perception of art that only people who hate making art could have. Anyone who delivers these kinds of lines wants to be seen as a serious artist, but believes that all there is to art is results. They see it, consciously or not, as a consumer product, something that exists to generate capital from a market audience. This is the only framework through which optimizing the process of creating art out of art makes any amount of sense. And it happens to be the same mentality that leads to the tragedy of artists giving up a couple months in because they've bought into any number of lies about simply not having talent, or their art not being worth anything because it isn't abstractly "good" enough. The thought process behind the AI artist is part of that depressive spiral of loathing.

This is why AI, as a cultural/artistic movement, is bound to fail. The technology is still new and extremely novel and improving a lot and there's a ton of conversations going on about it and what it means for the future and its political ramifications, and that means that it's this big cultural event right now, but what happens when the dust settles? What happens when the technology is no longer novel, and it's improving slowly? What happens when the big conversations about it outside of dedicated AI communities slow down? What happens in 5 years when we see flop after flop after flop from big companies trying to cash in on the AI craze by making movies written entirely by AI, albums composed entirely by AI, games programmed entirely by AI? What happens when courts eventually rule that you're not allowed to train an AI on (or use an AI trained on) copyrighted works without the copyright-holder's express permission? This toy doesn't believe this is all actually leading up to anything grand. As far as it can tell, it looks like the hype is going to fizzle out past a certain point, the movement behind it will die, and AI will remain primarily as a niche tool for artists to use in their otherwise-manual process, a way to shitpost, and a way to quickly process bulk data.

[stolalias3310]

Plural culture is trying to sleep but two alters are very unstable mentally and the depression holder is also here for some reason so you're too anxious to sleep and too sad to fix the issue

-Mathieu

[holder-culture-is]

depression holder culture is people bein’ shocked that ‘m a depression holder just ‘cause ‘m generally upbeat in manner, feels like they expect me to be all cryin’ at them and all that jazz. i got self respect, i can’t complain all the time like that, no offense!

Depression does not equal being sad 24/7!!! We have depression but I’m still all silly :3 let people with or who hold depression be upbeat and happy!! ^^

[cinnamonest]

We need more Yun content! He is an underrated bby. What if Chongyun’s darling was a Mondstadt vision holder? When he asks them what’s wrong and denies releasing them from captivity they kinda go on a tangent about why freedom is important and how messed up it is to keep them there (and probably how he needs mental help). While their tangent gets more heated, their vision starts to react, how does this go? How would the darling’s element affect the situation? - 🍪

Since they're both shorter I'm putting these two into a cumulative Yun post <3

He's a softer boy to begin with, the type with a lot of empathy and a strong conscience, which are not ideal traits to have in his position. Look, he already feels really bad about it all, okay? Most likely, he ended up in this scenario because he ended up doing something impulsive and irrational and dug himself into a hole he couldn't get out of. The only way to avoid serious trouble was to take you with him -- which really just makes the hole even deeper, but at least it avoids consequences.

So he's already wracked with guilt about it. Having you go on a monologue that just points out all the bad things he already knows full well were awful decisions isn't exactly helping. It just frustrates him.

That being said, even if he does have a conscience, there's still a cultural gap there in terms of how much value you place on your personal autonomy. Was what he did wrong? Yes, but he can't help but feel that you're overreacting a bit. Plenty of circumstances in life can lead one to be more or less stuck without many options, how is this any different? He starts to think that maybe you're doing it intentionally, trying to make him feel bad, and it's working. Not that he can confront you on it, the thought of accusing you of something wrong makes him feel terrible just to think about... and besides, you probably have the right to do that, all things considered. It doesn't mean, however, that he's not going to try to interject and refute the things you say, trying to think of every way he can to diminish it, say it's not that bad, explain why he had to do things the way he did, and of course apologize quite a bit.

And then you start to get visibly emotional, especially if a vision reaction is involved. Of course, one associated with heat such as pyro could potentially create unwanted heat in the atmosphere, but ultimately, even if it's not, it still makes things worse just by seeing it, as it only escalates the situation and his emotions, making things worse just at the sight.

He's anxious, stressed, frustrated, irritated, wracked with guilt... it's surprising he's managed to hold himself together even for this long. But he can't much longer.

Stop.

He tries not to sound too angry or mean about it. It's a flat, desperate voice. He just needs you to be quiet. He has to calm down. He can't just walk out of the room with you unrestrained and risk you getting away, but if you keep talking (and likely fight against him) when he tried to restrain you, it would just push him over the edge.

Just... just for a minute... please.

Of course, what happens from that point forward is a choice on your end. Complying and letting him cool down is probably the smarter choice, but if you're bitter enough to want to provoke him, or just careless, you have only yourself to blame later on.

---------------

Yin energy darling is such a cute concept omg

Of course, basically darling is the opposite of him -- you have to stay warm, lest your body's internal temperatures become too cold. If that happens, you will enter an extreme depressive state, not only in the sense of emotional depression, but including extreme lethargy/fatigue, inactivity, muscle soreness, slowed metabolism, and general lack of energy or drive. As long as the cold persists, you'll stay that way.

So needless to say, you sort of counteract each other... and not really in a good way. You need opposite conditions, opposite temperatures, opposite foods, so on and so on. When one has their ideal conditions, the other can't. By all normal circumstances, you're two people who should ideally stay pretty far away from each other.

That's not really a possibility, though, when you end up in essentially an arranged marriage sort of situation, wherein you're pressured/forced into essentially voluntarily suffering to help him.

It was insisted upon by clan elders, they saw it as a perfect opportunity. See, there's one thing you're really, really good at -- you attract all sorts of evil spirits.

They're drawn to your energy, they feel at ease in your presence. For as long as you can remember, they have essentially swarmed your every waking moment. They never harm you, seeing as they see you as a source of comforting energy, like a tree providing shade in the desert. In fact, despite the opinions of most people regarding them, you find them fairly pleasant, feel at home in their company.

Still, they can cause harm to people, and you begrudgingly submit to the pressure to help your arranged spouse with his responsibilities by essentially using yourself as a lure. You go to places said to be haunted, places where people have reported sightings or even attacks from malicious spirits, and go through the same two-part routine. First, you enter the area by yourself, find a relatively empty area to quietly pass the time, wait to lure in spirits. Since they are peaceful to you, you don't have to worry about being harmed in the meantime. Then, of course, he swoops in and exorcizes them from the realm, thus completing the banishment of evil... not quite the traditional way to do things, but hey, it works.

It's not the only thing you have to do for his convenience once you're partnered to him, either, because what happens is that his needs are prioritized. You're always cold, due to your energy, and in the past you've always used warmth to combat the effects of the cold of your body. You like warm drinks, warm clothes, blankets, lamps. But you can't use those things around him. He's the one actually doing the exorcisms, you're the... helper. So he has to be the one at peak performance as any given second, so conditions must be kept ideal for him, which often involves intentionally making conditions worse for you. Depriving you of warm things means your body begins to exude cold very quickly... which, sure, that might leave you in a state of miserable lethargy, but by rendering you that way, he's invigorated and ready at any given second.

Thankfully, at least, you balance out each other's body temperatures, whenever you sleep. He used to wake up quite a bit in the night, but now, with you serving as a sort of living ice pack, he sleeps much more soundly. Likewise, he does tend to radiate heat, so you get some respite from your cold-induced misery.

But during the day, keeping him cool is prioritized. This is, of course, because it's better in case of need to spring into action, but also for another very simple reason: you're less of a hassle when you enter a depressive state than him in a manic one. When you are affected by cold, sure, it's unpleasant for you, but you're still. You basically just get tired and sit there, quietly. Him, on the other hand? When he's driven into mania by heat, there's a lot more risk of property damage, financial expenses, even accidental injury. That, and he's harder to pull out of that state, whereas all you really need is a warm cup of tea or the like. So basically, it's much more of an issue for him, which is why you are unfortunately often subjected to enduring cold.

Don't think he isn't considerate of it, though. In fact, he feels terrible, frequently apologizing, checking on you, asking if you need anything, and so on. He has on multiple occasions driven himself to the point of mania anyway, just because being worried about you makes him nervous and consequently distressed. It's counterproductive, sure, but at least it means he's not unaware of the sacrifice you're constantly making.

He's also done the same on several occasions whilst trying to do something for you, and has sometimes even succeeded. He gradually teaches himself to be able to make warm drinks and foods for you without pushing himself over the edge, gives it to you as some sort of combination of apology and appreciation. It's his way of telling you how thankful he is for you... and perhaps of alleviating some of his guilt.

[georgefairbrother]

A little over 40 years after the Abdication Crisis that had peaked in December of 1936, Thames Television, holder of the weekday independent TV franchise for London and the Home Counties, commissioned a dramatisation based on the exhaustive Wolfson History Prize winning biography of Edward VIII by Frances Donaldson.

There was great care taken in terms of casting, production design, and location filming that included Fort Belvedere where many of the real events unfolded. Edward and Mrs Simpson seemed to be as close as you could possibly get to 1930s culture, fashion and upper-class society without a time machine. Written for television by Simon Raven and directed by pioneering British-Asian director Waris Hussein, the series was rewarded with an Emmy and multiple BAFTAs.

In retrospect, it appears to be as faithful to real events as a drama could be, including verbatim conversations and parliamentary statements. Edward VIII, formerly the Prince of Wales known as David, then finally the Duke of Windsor, was played by Edward Fox, and Wallis Simpson by Cynthia Harris. Other key castings included Nigel Hawthorne, yet to find stardom as Sir Humphrey Appleby in Yes Minister / Prime Minister, as the King’s friend and advisor Walter Monckton, David Waller as Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin (He reprised this role in 1988 for another adaptation, The Woman He Loved, starring Anthony Andrews, Jane Seymour and Olivia de Havilland), Peggy Ashcroft as Queen Mary, Marius Goring as King George V, and Wensley Pithey as a totally convincing Winston Churchill. Versatile British-Australian actor Ed Deveraux played Tory press baron Lord Beaverbrook, a role he later reprised in The Life and Times of David Lloyd George (BBC 1981).

Other notable players included Andrew Ray (Duke of York / George VI), Charles Keating (Ernest Simpson), Patrick Troughton (Clement Attlee), Patricia Hodge (Lady Diana Cooper), Maurice Denham (Cosmo Lang, Archbishop of Canterbury), Cherie Lunghi (Thelma Furness) and Hugh Fraser (Anthony Eden).

The Duke of Windsor died in 1972, but the Duchess of Windsor, formerly Mrs Simpson, was still alive when the programme was conceived and broadcast. (She died in 1986). She was not best pleased, citing invasion of privacy, and lobbied to have the production stopped. Her opposition was reported in The Sun, and perhaps might have been more newsworthy if not for another significant event in August 1977.

The series ended with the marriage of the Duke and now Duchess of Windsor, some months after the Abdication.

The BFI Screen-Online review stated;

"…The series also carefully juxtaposes Edward’s frequent, and popular, visits to depressed areas with his opulent and carefree private life, and doesn’t shy from showing his admiration for Mussolini in a pair of brief but pointed exchanges with Anthony Eden…Edward Fox gives a fine and charismatic performance as the King, ably suggesting the contradictory impulses that ruled the man. Wallis Simpson, however, is presented rather less sympathetically. In an occasionally heavy-handed performance, Cynthia Harris plays her as a cool and conniving gold-digger, albeit a sometimes naïve and even disarmingly foolish one…"

The portrayal of Edward VIII was a little more sympathetic than in some later productions, including Bertie and Elizabeth (2002). Edward and Mrs Simpson did tend to gloss over the King’s fascist sympathies, although it was at least alluded to as mentioned in the BFI review. Perhaps, in fairness, these along with some alleged shady financial dealings, meddling in Britain’s foreign policy and the cosy relationship with Hitler, didn’t really become apparent until the period after the series ended. Wensley Pithey’s Winston Churchill was accurately shown as a strong and sincere personal friend and advocate for the King and Wallis Simpson, in public and private, to the annoyance of the Baldwin government, but this relationship later soured when Churchill was wartime Prime Minister, over the Duke of Windsor’s behaviour.

[cat-system]

🦋 CAT SYSTEM INTRO POST :3

🦋 welcome to our blog!

we are a traumagenic D.I.D Sys of over 40+ alters! (In the process of a diagnosis)

the body is 15 and has : schitzophrenia, psychosis, anxiety general disorder, depression (diagnosed), autism (in the process of a diagnosis)

Questioning : ADHD, ASPD, BPD (?)

🦋 who's welcome on this blog

we are strictly anti endo, please do not bother even if you are endo neutral.

we are tulpa neutral AS LONG AS they don't claim to be a CDD Sys, steal Sys terms, and speak on Sys issues AND actually are in the closed practice culture that practices these

we are okay with any age interacting, as long as the body is over 13 years old and under 30 years old

we welcome all and any Fandoms here even if it's taboo as long as you know how to separate the art from the artist and the media in question doesn't promote hateful things actively

we welcome all and any religions, most of us are pagan. but we welcome Pagans, Christians, Buddhists, etc.

we welcome LGBT+ folks and our system is mostly 🌈 except the host (me, ciel :3) who's straighter than a ruler

🦋 about the alters

frequent fronters are :

me, ciel (the host); gabriel (gatekeeper & cohost); Zander (gatekeeper AND MY DAD :3); Doll (trauma holder and non-human); Lia (trauma holder, memory holder, ASPD symptom holder (?), mf everything holder, god damn why does she have every mf role 😭)

most of us love to read literature (Such works as Dazai Osamus, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Jane Austen, Oscar Wild, Nikolai Gogol, etc.)

and most of us are poets and writers! me included and we might post our works!

we love music! and most of us have different music preferences and tastes but we love : mitski, Kaya, vkei in general, malice mizer, Laufey, system of a down, metal jazz pop in general, micheal jackson, etc.

we are somewhat fictive heavy? 10+ alters are fictives including the host (we are OK w Doubles and love them!)

we love video games and shows (PJSK, minecraft, roblox, genshin, etc)

🦋 looking for :

more Sys friends in general!

BAIII I HOPE U LIKED THIS INTRO POST ^_^

[syscultureis]

plural culture is trying so hard to trigger someone useful out to help with schoolwork and then accidentally bringing out a depression holder

.