#depressed bill
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My brains just wondering,
If Bill actually went into ford’s mind I have no doubt he would go thru with stuff
But I’m just thinking, cuz the brainplate…
What if bills ex henchamaniac added something extra just in case?
What if they all accidently got sent into Bill’s mind instead as a result of the blowup?
It be fasinating to see what would happen
What would they see
How would bill break
Would their exploration of his most traumatic memories force him to aknokeldge them?
Ford would def stilly e and kill him
But once they get out Bill would blip out
I’m thinking either it boils down to them having to find bill and force him to make everything normal
Or the henchmaniacs (his friends lol) recruit Ford and the others to just make bill somewhat normal again cuz he’s freaking everyone out and the nightmare realm is falling apart faster then ever
#bill cipher#gravity falls au#bill cipher lives#truma#lore#henchmaniacs#pine twins#dipper and maybel#billford#if you squint#stanford pines#stanley pines#stan twins#depressed bill
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I just finished watching gravity falls....
#gravity falls#the book of bill#book of bill#post series depression#bill cypher#billford#sixer#stanford pines#stan pines#gruncle stan#gruncle ford#dipper#dipper pines#dipcifica#mabcifica#mabel pines#gravity falls mabel#wendy corduroy#soos ramirez#gravity falls soos#i am going insane#i am going to explode#perchance#need moots#this show has me in a chokehold
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young ford² and stanley 🌧
#SAVE ME STANLEY PINES SAVE ME#their stories make me depressed#if you saw my other drawing of adult mabel & dipper i like to think those cheek dimples i give all the pines’ run in the family#i feel like i didn’t make stan and ford identical enough but whatever……. these are just doodles trial and error#stanley pines#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#bill cipher#<- sort of#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#stanley pines fanart#stanford pines fanart#fiddleford mcgucket fanart#my art#reblogs are welcome
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I wanna touch the floof so bad
#sketch#gravity falls#billford#stanford pines#bill cipher#Seasonal depression is the worst I havent been able to finish ANYTHING
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After over a decade, the twins' first bonding experience left something to be desired.
I included the gloves because, based on what I think is the timeline of The Book of Bill and the show, Ford's hands were probably still all fucked up from the scratching and the nail. Disney obviously couldn't include that detail in A Tale of Two Stans, though. It makes sense to me that since Ford just wanted Stan to take the journals and leave, probably without asking too many questions, he would hide his injuries. Not exactly canon to what was seen in the show, but I thought it would be a fun detail to include!
#gravity falls#the book of bill#fanart#ford pines#stanford pines#stan pines#young ford pines#young stan pines#comic#cartoon#digital art#my art#artists on tumblr#pines family#pines brothers#the pines brothers are depressing#ford pines looks like shit#the murder hut#sibling bonding???
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Journal 3’s references to Stan
(…does the Lost Pages count as J3 when some had to be in J2 and also may or may not be a truth lie turducken? idk. Ford’s TBoB letters sure as hell don’t count as J3 but I’m including them here anyway)
Lost Journal Pages
"STANLEY COULD HAVE MADE HER LAUGH"
“My stomach sank a bit when I realized… it was my birthday. This day has felt… odd, since S and I… parted ways.”
"I was adjusting my TV antennae for weather reports (looking for ideal conditions for F's first portal test) and spat out my coffee when I saw THIS! My brother hawking scams under the name "Panley Stines." I had half a mind to call that number, just to pretend to be the police and maybe scare S straight for once! There is something so galling about seeing your OWN FACE committing crimes on your own TV! When my Muse saw me break my stress ball, I decided it was finally time to vent about Stanley."
""How about that; you've got an inferior clone! Why didn't you just eat him in the womb? Think of how powerful you'd be!"
"You can't just eat your twin, Bill."
You'd be surprised what you can eat! I say sure, call him if you want him to start mooching off you again! ME, I went no contact with my home dimension and I don't regret it. All they did was hold me back and sabotage my talents! Can you imagine?"
"More than you know. But you do ever wonder if maybe... maybe things could have been different?""
"Our heat budget was so tight that Mom forced S and me to wear one sweater at the same time. (She called it the "Abominable Snow-Stan." Our cat lived in fear of it year-round.)"
“DAMN! This morning I found F rummaging through my old copy of Urban Legends of New Jersey, where I had forgotten I had hidden some old personal items! I’ve quickly re-hidden them here, away from prying eyes.”
"But then he crossed a line. Helplessly I watched Cipher in my own body limp up to a pay phone and dial... STANLEY'S phone number from the infomercial?! No. He wouldn't.
"Hey brother, it's Sixer. I'm going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, and I might not ever come back, so if you don't hear from me, I just want you to know that it's because I never loved you. BUH-BYEEEEE."
My heart was in my throat until I heard the dial tone... The pay phone was out of order. The message hadn't gotten through. Cipher turned back to address me.
"TSK, TSK, TSK. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME MAKE YOU DO! TOMORROW'S TAPE IS GONNA BE MUCH WORSE.""
(Bro secret code) "miss you"
“The snow has begun to fall again and there’s very little time. There’s only one left I can turn to to protect my journals while I prepare for the journey…”
"S is an overgrown child with none of my rigorous mental training. Who knows what could happen if Cipher stepped inside Stanley's mind for even one minute...
What if Stanley somehow manages to destroy the portal just like he destroyed my perpetual motion machine? I suppose that machine did work in its own way... It kept me perpetually angry for thirty years."
(Bro secret code) "HAVE I BEEN TOO HARSH ALL ALONG?"
"What if he tries to rope me into his latest get-rich-quick scheme? His latest commercial was for "Stan Sauce: The Miracle Sauce that's too cool for the FDA!"
What if... he mocks me? What if he sees that I abandoned our family to become a recluse on the brink of madness? Could I risk admitting that I was... wrong?
PROS: I have no one else. Well, that settles it. It's time to come face-to-face with a face I haven't seen in 10 years. My own face. Which... is my brother's face. God, I miss sleep."
Ford’s Letters
"In the weeks since Weirdmageddon, I conducted numerous tests on Stanley's mind (his terrible jokes are still intact) and inspected the state for dimensional leakage (we also took turns kicking the statue, and Stanley took a few cracks with a crowbar). I burned every Cipher-shaped item I had ever collected, and even threw away all my one-dollar bills, just to be safe (Stanley, of course, found and pocketed them).
“I emerged from my lab after days of agonized contemplation to find- to my shock- that Mabel was reading the book, out loud, to Stanley, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy!”
“They didn’t see me as an irredeemable screwup. Stanley said, "So, your past is just a giant pile of mistakes? Congratulations- you really are a Pines!”“
"Bill may tell you that happiness requires conquering galaxies and living forever, but I've seen enough of the universe to tell you that he's wrong. I've found my happiness. And it looks like this:"
"If you're reading this... then I am dead. Kidding! Sorry, Stanley thought that would be funny. Ha-ha! We're currently out shopping for harpoons to prepare for our trip to the arctic."
"Stan, if you end breaking into my lab at some point later today- Bravo! Still as good a locksmith as in 8th grade. Beers are under the desk."
(It kinda strikes me that the BoB Lost Journal pages about Stan sound far more like post-portal Ford’s opinions on Stan instead, where he’s openly angry at both being pushed into the portal + at the portal being opened again + his murder suicide attempt being foiled + Stan disowning him + turning his house into a tourist trap + taking his identity vs pre-portal Ford being more… melodramatic(?) constantly being reminded of him but not wanting to linger too long? idk the vibes are different
Plus pre-portal Ford pretty consistently only calls Stan "S” or just refers to him as his brother (with the exception of him writing his name in a Caesar cipher). I think he only ever messes up the general naming scheme a single time when he wrote Fiddleford instead of F
…not to mention the perpetual motion machine comment says thirty instead of ten years)
Other sections: Pre-Portal, Post-Portal, Post-Weirdmageddon
#shout out to all the folks who thought ford was telling stan to find bees#but nevermind all that-- what the hell do you mean snow in glass shard was made of seagull beaks#that finally sank in and i honestly feel viscerally ill#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#stanford pines#journal 3#the book of bill#stan twins#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#man we desperately need more post tbob ford cos rereading pre weirdmageddon ford is just depressing#and immediate post weirdmageddon ford still feels like he's finding his footing#i want more of the stan twins teaming up to be assholes to others ksadhksjdhsa that joke to dipper was mean i love that for them#anyway im chewing on the clearly young stan commercial being used when it was supposed to be close to the portal test...
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if only they knew
#my art#digital art#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#drawing#illustration#sketch#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#ugh i love my old man monterfucker and my stuck in depressive teenage years triangle with god complex and issues beyond comprehension
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My baby, my baby… you’re my baby, say it to me…
#gravity falls#gravity falls art#gravity falls fanart#grunkle ford#grunkle stan#stanford pines#stanley pines#billford fanchild#postpartum bill au#book of bill#ford x bill#bill cipher#billford#bill cipher angst#postpartum depression
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Sharing my “Paul has MDD” propaganda.
#starkid#hatchetfield#tgwdlm#paul matthews#bill woodward#for only one panel but yeah#hatchetfield fanart#depression tw#suicidal ideation tw#just in case#also in case anyone’s wondering yes I also have mdd 👍#I won’t deny some projection going on here#but I’m always thinking about the implications of let it out and inevitable#also realizing I posted two sad things in a row oops. I will try to make the next post lighter
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Methinks its time to move back home actually
#i talked to my aunt about it and honestly like. i might as well#im broke im in a bunch of debt i have no access to medical insurance so i cant get therapy im alone depressed and my bills are always late#and ive been stuck in my apartment for months bc of this ridiculous registration shit for my car#so as much as i dont want to sell my car OR move im. thinking about it now#like at least id have the house almost to myself since my sibling moved out#and i could make the upstairs my own pretty much. plus ive been meaning to jelp renovate up there so#why not#plus i can save for tattoo stuff properly#i just feel like im giving up i was trying to prove i could care for myself and#I feel like ive proven km incapable pf being an adult bc of this it sucks#but at least my ma and my aunt are willing to help me as i figure shit out. im lucky to have them#mag.txt
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this will probably be the only time I post art
#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#lalalala#i havent read the book yet#but it seems hella depressing#baby bill#so precious#so innocent...
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HOI🖖👽 sooooOOOOOooo can you do a Tom kaulitz x fem! reader
Like were he says sumthing he didn’t mean like:example,he said something about ur past that’s a VERY touchy subject during an argument
Add fluff at the end pls🙏🙏🙏🥺
(IF UR NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THID ITS OK 👌🙂🙂🙂)
MK HOT STUFF GURLYS GOTTA GOOO😜😜😜😜 BOIIIIIIYUHHHH👋👋👋👋
hiii cutie ofc
I didn't mean it
PAIRINGS: Tom 2014 x Female reader CONTENT: ANGST + FLUFF SYPNOSIS: During an argument Tom brings up something really touchy from the past as an insult, you're heartbroken and hurt from his words, he instantly apologises and tries to make it up to you. A/N: AHHH WARNINGS: yelling, !!!!VERY GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND A SMALL MENTION OF RAPE!!!!!!!!
Me and Tom were yet again in an argument, I got upset at him because he's been neglecting me, staying out late, not even touching me or holding me, nothing.
I brought it up to him this morning and it just exploded into an argument, him being defensive as usual.
"I'm so sick of you being so fucking controlling y/n!" he grunted, storming up the stairs. I scoffed and followed him closely "don't walk away from me Tom! You always do this, always running away when confronted with the truth!" I yelled.
"Because you take things so seriously! I just wanted time alone is that so hard to ask for?" he sighed heavily.
I grunted, him clearly not getting the point, "it's not that I don't want you to have alone time it's just that you're basically avoiding me!" I followed him into the bedroom, he was trying to find something to do to disract himself.
"Listen to me!" I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me, my eyes staring deeply into his, rage washing over them. "There's nothing to talk about!" he pushed past me, going into the bathroom.
I kept on yelling at him, following him into it, he turned around, hand on the doorframe and yelled "no wonder why your friend killed himself, he couldn't fucking stand being around you and neither can I"
My heart shattered instantly, the memories of my best friend killing themselves, him being in my arms as he died.
LISTEN TO TV BY BILLIE EILISH PAST THIS POINT I SWEAR IT MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE
6 years ago my best friend Arnie died, he was a gentle soul. He was gay and was heavily bullied about it, drowned in the toilets, food thrown at him, followed home. Arnie had learned to have thick skin, not allowing that to get to him, he knew they were just miserable with their lives and I loved that about Arnie.
The last straw for Arnie was when he was raped at a house party in 2008, the last time I saw him happy was when we seperated, I was hooking up with a random boy and he wished me goodluck. When I finished and tried to find Arnie, he was sprawled across a bed, bleeding from his back side.
I rushed to his aid and discovered that he was raped. Arnie was different after that, didn't insult back, was super quiet, didn't hang out with me after school like we usualy did.
I tried to offer help but nothing worked. One day I went to his house, he wasn't answering my calls or texts and his parents were out of town for the week. I found it weird that the door was unlocked, I went inside and into his bedroom.
I wish I didn't see what he had done, everyday it replays in my mind. I have nightmares about it every few nights.
I walked into his bathroom, he was in the bathtub, wrists on the edge of the tub, cut so deeply. I stood there for a second, shocked, trying to take in what I saw. After 10 seconds I screamed, running to him and holding him tightly, examining his wounds. 7 deep cut wounds, he was bleeding so much, the bathroom tiles covered in them.
My knees smudged the blood around as I held him, sobbing uncontrollably. "No no no..arnie you're ok.." I whispered, stroking his hair gently. He looked at me briefly, the life draining from his eyes "i'm sorry...i love you.." he muttered before taking his last breath, dying in my arms.
I screamed for him, my vocal cords ready to burst. Some neighbours called the police from my screaming, they came in and rushed to the scene, practically ripping me off Arnie.
"No! No no no! He'll be ok!" I sobbed, trying to get back to him, "ARNIE!" I screamed, the female officer held me close, stroking my hair softly, "he's gone baby...i'm sorry.." she whispered softly, I looked up at her, a tear falling down her cheek.
I buried my face into her chest, her vest cold and hard on my face.
They carried his body out, I couldn't bare to look and just stood there frozen. Later on the police women gave me a note he wrote, it read:
Dear my beloved Y/N,
I'm so sorry you have to read this, I'm sorry for even doing this. I know it's stupid and I know i'm supposed to have thick skin but I can't do it anymore, after what he did to me I haven't been able to eat, sleep or do anything properly, it runs through my head all the time, that memory of what he did never leaves my memory. It's driving me crazy Y/N, I wanted to stay strong for you, I wanted us to grow up and see each other get married, have kids, go through breakups together, live our 20s to the fullest, party like theres no tomorrow but I can't do it anymore. I wanted to be your best friend forever, be friends until we die, but I guess my fate is early. You know I love you more than life itself, you showed me it's ok to be me. You helped and guided me through everything but it's time for me to go, I love you and I'll be watching over you. Keep being your weird self and never forget me
Your soulmate, Arnie.
My heart was shattered into a million pieces, I still have that note to this day, I can't leave the house without it near me.
I got a tattoo of the last line, in his handwriting, 'your soulmate, arnie'. (inspired by evieskiess book my one and only <3)
BACK TO PRESENT:
My eyes widened, heart breaking into a million pieces, the heartbreak from that night coming back. My body went stiff, frozen in place. Unable to say anything.
Toms face instantly softened, he rushed towards me and started to apologise profusely, "oh honey no..i'm so sorry, I was just mad and I wasn't thinking straight, you know I didn't mean it", I looked at him, a stray tear falling down my cheek.
"Don't touch me.." I whispered softly, pushing him off me and walking to the bed, sitting on it. I bursted out into tears, sobbing uncontrollably, the tears unable to stop. All the pain I had tried to forget coming back.
He rushed to my side and held me tightly, "no baby..I'm so sorry, I'm so so so sorry" his voice thick with emotion, I could tell he was telling the truth but I was just so shocked, so hurt by his harsh words.
"Why.." my voice broke slightly "why would you say such a thing.." I choked out a sob, covered my mouth with my hands, they were trembling violently.
"I don't know..it was an in the moment thing, I didn't mean it at all, I'm so sorry baby I will do anything to make it up to you I swear, I love you with all my heart" he started to cry, tears falling down his cheeks as he buried his face in my shoulder.
My heart ached at him crying, I really wanted to forgive him but my heart just couldn't. I stood up and sighed, "I'm sleeping on the couch.." he nodded, standing up and brushing stray hairs from my face, kissing my forehead softly.
"I love you baby..." he whispered before letting me go, I turned my head to look at him and sighed "i love you too.." before walking off to the living room.
I sat on the couch, staring into nothing, my heart heavy and my eyes red. I rolled up my sleeve and stared at the tattoo, grazing a finger over it. I grabbed the note from my pocket and held it against my chest, laying back onto the couch, slowly falling asleep.
A few hours later I was woken up by soft arms wrapping around my waist, holding me close. I turned around, placing the note in my pocket and looking up at Tom.
"I know you didn't mean it baby..but I'm still hurt" I mumbled, he nodded slowly "I know baby..I know..i'm so sorry" he rested his chin on my head, stroking my hair softly just like the female officer did. I felt comforted, safe in his arms, again, just like I felt with the female officer.
"Do you want to go back to bed schatz?" he said softly, I sniffled and nodded, getting up and holding his hand, walking towards our shared bedroom. I grabbed one of his shirts and put it on, slipping into bed.
He smiled softly and slipped behind me, pulling me closer and wrapping his strong arms around my frame, keeping me warm and safe. "I'll make it up to you..I swear" he sighed, kissing the top of my head lightly.
"I'll be home more, I'll take you to band practices, I'll take you out with me, I'll do anything for you baby, I'm sorry I neglected you, treated you so badly.." his voice shaky "I love you, you're my world, my beautiful wife, my light. I'll do anything it takes to change, anything at all" I slowly turned around again, looking up at him, looking into his eyes for any sign of deceit, but all that presented was sincerity. Pure honesty. His eyes soft and gentle, willing to do anything for me.
I tucked a stray stand behind his ear, kissing him softly. "I love you..thankyou for that.." I smiled softly.
"I've always wondered though, why do you always keep his note with you?" he tilted his head, genuinely curious. I chuckled softly, "I don't know, it's the only thing I have left of him, something to remember him by" I frowned, tears welling up in my eyes again, "it's a reminder to me that he loved me and to keep going without him" Tom winced at my pain, stroking my hair gently and nodding.
"I understand..I'll keep it safe for you always" he kissed me softly, I smiled "thankyou baby.." I muttered before falling asleep in his arms.
E/N: I sobbed so hard while writing this no joke
tags: @itsmealaiah @tomscumdump @tomkaulitzloverr @tomscumdoll @syylss @ge-billsgf @miyukafujii @charliesgoodboy @20doozers @ballhair @bkaulitzlover
#tom kaulitz#bill kaulitz#tokiohotel#gustav schäfer#georg listing#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz x you#tom kaulitz x y/n#tom kaulitz angst#tom kaulitz fluff#ilovetomkaulitzhessobaeiwanthimtofuckmerightnow#ilovetomkaulitzmybfomg#i love him#i love tommy#i love tom#tom kaulitz tokio hotel#sad fic#tw depressing stuff#kaulitz twins#cw
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assorted losers from a magma just now :')
bonus stans, reddie, and bike:
(find out who stan is third-wheeling for by checking out adri's post of the magma hehe)
#it 1990#ben hanscom#mike hanlon#bill denbrough#it 2017#beverly marsh#richie tozier#someone explain why magma brushes feel better than my actual art program's#that's me in the corner....thats me in the spot! light! i'm losing my religion!#not even gonna tag the reddie those men are just sadly eating sandwiches. why is eddie so depressed.
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written by william gold, performed by wilbur soot ⭐️
<3 follow my twitter here:
#i am a shell of the person i was before listening to this album#wilbur soot you Will be getting a bill from my therapist#only he would release the most depressing gut wrenching heart shattering album on a random wednesday in november with no warning#around the pomegranate Ruined me#mammalian sighing reflex#wilbur soot#wilbur soot fanart#ycgma#william gold#lovejoy#around the pomegranate#amazon standing lamp#mine / yours#glass chalet#melatonin 130#oh distant you#i don’t think it will ever end#dropshipped cat shirt#the median#trying not to think about it#eulogy
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Someone on twt pointed THAT.
Wakui you and your layers of trauma, why I'm discovering new painful details at this point? 😭
(I'm gonna cry in a corner and try to remember that the final timeline exists)
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers spoilers#in my tenjiku depression era#draken#sano emma#drakemma#tr have so many layers of trauma#ken wakui you dramatic bitch#ken wakui pay my theraphy bills#i could think they are about to get reunited again but that doesn't help at all
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