#denial journey

[corruptedhellbait]

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⛓️ hi! you can call me Sam/Sammy!

🔪 my pronouns are they/he/it, i'm non-binary, bisexual & poly

🔒 owned by @glitchdrunk

👑 part-time prince to @messyhairmaster

⛓️ terms i use for my anatomy: cunt, (little) dick/cock, tits/chest. also you can call me a boy, puppy/pup, mutt, fag, angel. i prefer masculine adjectives but im okay with being called beautiful/pretty etc. just don't call me a girl.

🔪 kinks i like: cnc, pet play, piss play, humiliation/degradation, breath play, size kink, ageplay, fauxcest, edging & orgasm control/denial, chastity, dumbification, objectification, impact play, anal, somno, knife play, kidnapping, hypnosis, manipulation/gaslighting, hucow, regency kink, blasphemy kink, i also have a bit of a snuff kink (sometimes)

🔪 hard limits: feet play, scat, vomit, misogyny/patriarchy kink, misgendering, pregnancy kink, feederism

⛓️ my tags:

#my pics

#my thoughts

#my audios (more here https://soundgasm.net/u/deniedlittlecunt)

#my polls

#denial journey (not updated)

⛓️ my back up is @corrvptedhellbait, @fag-sfw is my side blog

[reimeichan]

Signs of having DID that I ignored (note that these are not exclusively signs of DID but they were for me):

I don't have amnesia, that's just short term memory loss because I have ADHD!

I actually have a very good memory, I'm great at memorizing things (what do you mean that's not the same thing)

sure it may seem like my mood changes drastically but I've read online that's common in people with ADHD! it's hard for us to regulate our emotions!

so what if I have different preferences from time to time? that's normal right? like when your mood changes you may prefer different foods? what do you mean that's not the same as going from "I hate spicy foods" one day to "omg I LOVE spicy foods!" the next?

yeah okay I tend to space out in the middle of conversations then come back to and need you to remind me what you said for the past 10 seconds or so. that's just my ADHD inattentiveness. what do you mean that I only do this when stressed. what do you mean that's a form of dissociation.

speaking of dissociation, sure sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself say and do things without my own input but that's just because I was tired/stressed out

yeah sometimes I go on autopilot. my autopilot seems to have its own agenda sometimes though. weird.

sure I changed usernames a *few* times but isn't that pretty common? yeah I also wanted to change how I presented online and also my pronouns and stuff but again isn't it common for people to want to start over sometimes?

*making multiple accounts to play the same game because I play the game differently on different accounts and don't want to mess things up on one account*

oh yes, I'm genderfluid! I say that because my gender absolutely changes from moment to moment and sure it seems kinda tied to other aspects of myself like color preferences and energy levels and personality traits but I'm pretty sure that's just par for the course with genderfluidity?

"you're so different when you're around your parents vs when you're at school/work vs when you're hanging out with friends!" yeah that's called being a complex person we all have different masks we wear in different social situations and I'm no different even if it seems more extreme for me

"how was school/work/the hang-out/going to visit your parents?" I don't know I'm tired and have a giant headache and can't remember

"you said this to me the other day and it made me feel <x>" what????? I literally have no memory of this and that's so incredibly out of character for me wtf I would never do that I was probably just really stressed out and tired and had no filter on.

[hualianschild]

love how instead of accepting he liked kissing hua cheng he blames his teacher for not teaching him how to not be tempted by men 💀

[cruelplatonic]

my personal headcanon is the vees were unremarkable nobodies when they were alive. i just love it as a thematic throughline for them. they love to let the public of hell speculate on them being famed and acclaimed since before death, but the the truth is they were a d-list failed influencer that got by on cheap controversey and scamming, a broke junkie who burned every shaky bridge he ever had, and a worn-out broadcast production assistant with more rejected auditions and tossed out script pitches than he could count. nobody missed them when they were gone, nobody cared who they were until they were dead.

[moonmoonthecrabking]

ocean: i accept your whole gay thing, i just don't get it

noel: okay. i'll regret this, but what part don't you get?

ocean: why would you prefer men over women? i'm straight but i could never imagine being with a man... like... that. women are infinitely more attractive. why would you make your life harder for a subpar mate?

noel (internally):

noel (internally):

[angryanimator]

for the dancing and the dreaming except its falin and marcille

[inkinthetypewriter]

Power: You should stop smoking.

Aki: I can quit whenever I like.

Power:

Aki:

Power: Denial is a river in Egypt.

Aki:

Power:

Denji, whispering in Power’s ear: What’s Egypt?

[i-am-trans-gwender]

How I realized I'm a furry.

I was mildly upset that all the trans artist I liked no longer made relatable comics and instead only made animal hrt. I made a post where I said I didn't like animal hrt and asked for relatable trans comic recommendations. I did NOT mean that people should stop making animal hrt but the post was so poorly worded it made it sound like that's what I meant.

@rey-skye told me this and I deleted the post. I felt bad about the post so I made a post saying I even though I'm not a furry I think it will be cool when gene slicing advances enough that people can become there fursonas irl and I would consider becoming a catgirl. The post was supposed to be an apology.

@ariathelamia said I smelled like a furry in denial. So I talked to both her and @rey-skye to figure out if I'm a furry.

The more I thought about it the more I realized I liked anthropomorphic animals.

Self reflection made me realize my thoughts on animal hrt were caused by internalized transphobia. My transphobic parents like to compare me being trans to furries identifying as animals (I know that not all furries are therians but my parents don't know that.) This gave me a dislike of furries because I blamed them for my parents transphobia. (This is an explanation NOT an excuse).

I shouldn't blame furries for my parents transphobia and I was stupid for playing into respectability politics.

I spent a couple days saying I'm not 100% sure if I'm a furry followed by the most furry statement ever.

I'm now 100% sure I'm a furry and I love animal hrt.

Thank you for everyone who helped me accept I'm a furry and I'm sorry for all the stupid things I said about furries in the past.

[add1ctedt0you]

What's your version of Jiang Cheng Gives Up? *chinhands*

Hiii! My version of jc gives up is very boring: he gives up on wwx and their shared past and moves on.

An overexposure to yunmeng bros reconciliations has brought me to one conclusion: I don't necessarily need them to reconcile. (Not because: 'jc/wwx is so toxic!' or 'jc/wwx deserves better than that selfish asshole!'. Like, I always roll my eyes. They are two horrible human - fictional- beings who deserve each other!).

But imo, post-canon jc has two priorities:

Jin ling

Himself

First point: he needs to be there for jl. Not only politically! But emotionally too. jl is going through a rough time jc too experienced: a loved ones betrayal. jc knows what it does to you. And listen, one of the things I love about jc is how he is trying his best. Always. In particular when it comes to people he loves. ('but he did a lot of things wrong', thank fuck! He is a traumatized character who behaves like a traumatized character. This scene explains so much about jc imo: jc knows that not having an adult in your life who believes in you is shit. So he tries to give space - in his way- to jl, while fighting his urge to protect him, because the last time every one of his family member was on a battlefield, they died.) So yeah, he is going to try being there for jl, in his imperfect way. And that brings me to point two.

jc has to recalibrate himself, to be there for jl: what he thought were truths, are revealed to be lies. All his life was a lie.

That's my favorite jc's speech. It's visceral, it's painfully honest. He is literally saying to us his state of mind: he is feeling guilty, wronged and confused.

'who am I?' hits hard, because who you are when you have built your life on lies?! Should he feel guilty?! wwx has made this huge sacrifice for him, but he has hurt him too: what should he feel?!

So, because I interpret jc as someone who overthinks, I want him to lose his mind over his doubts and start a journey of healing (or, what realistically someone without therapy can manage).

I want him to look at Lotus Pier, his home, and think: 'dang, what I have managed is incredible'. I what him to realize: 'what wwx made for me was an huge sacrifice, but my feelings are valid too'. I want him to be, not happy, but satisfied, when thinking about his life. And I don't need him and wwx to reconcile, because I like the bittersweet taste their broken relationship leaves in his mouth.

So, my jc gives up is: he learns to live with himself and jl, peacefully.

[brookebabii]

maybe do you have bad self control with food choices?

This belly? Lacking self-control with food? I don’t know what you’re talking about - I am clearly super model thin

[corruptedhellbait]

i did this under @verysecretlykinky's supervision🙈🙈 i had toothpaste on my clit, i had my plug turned on and i drooled all over myself while i had my tongue out~

it took 45 minutes because i kept grinding on the plug and it was harder to concentrate🥺🙈

i learned my lesson now🥺🥺

don't add to this post, keep it in the tags

[themyscirah]

This is how this went right?

Parallax!Hal: I miss being a hero... wish I had my ring back

Kyle: oh well you can have mine then! That way you can have a second chance : )

Parallax!Hal: YES!!! A SECOND CHANCE TO PLAY GOD AND RESHAPE THE WORLD AS I WILL IT MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kyle, now ringless: .................huh. im gonna be honest here I really didn't see that coming

[vykio]

Kevaaron break up you say?? 👀

WIP Game! ohohohoh in this version, katelyn and aaron broke up a couple months ago but they're still friends. they're done their exams and drink to that and Katelyn drops a any developments on your crush on Kevin? and that is where Aaron learns for the first time that Katelyn thinks he has a crush on Kevin LOOOOL............

This isn’t Aaron’s room. It hasn’t been for almost two years now but his body brought him here anyway. It dawns slowly on Aaron that he’s in the wrong place, but he’s aware enough to notice Kevin’s brows scrunch together on his face. Watching Kevin’s lips turn down as he frowns unsettles him; looking down is worse because Kevin isn’t wearing a shirt—there’s so much of his skin on display with his legs bare, too, and Aaron hears Katelyn say, I’m sorry but we both know you—

Aaron curls a hand into a fist and weakly drives it into Kevin’s stomach. It works in stopping the thought but it brings out something worse—Kevin’s whole body reacts, surprised, his muscles tensing and rippling against Aaron’s hand. Aaron recoils at the sensation and takes a step back, protectively tucking his arm against his chest. “G’night,” he says loudly, hoping none of his sudden panic has seeped into his voice.

Kevin slips two fingers in the collar of Aaron’s hoodie when he turns away, still within reach, and hauls him back. Aaron falls back without fighting and wheels around once he’s steady to swat Kevin’s hand away. He turns a snarl at him. “What?”

The flash of concern on Kevin’s face is no longer, but he does have an eyebrow raised at him. “You look like shit,” he says flatly. Aaron hadn’t paid attention to what he looked like when he fled from Katelyn’s. He hadn’t cried, but he can still feel his face and neck hot in some places, still probably red from being flustered and blindsided. Before Aaron can take offence, Kevin jerks his thumb over his shoulder and adds, “I’m drinking.”

[sunshine-and-her-ikevil-stuff]

Me a month ago: Can you imagine having to moan "Alfons" in bed? I feel bad for whatever idiot who has to do that.

Me now: ... soo, turns out I'm the idiot

[dionysus-complex]

.

[pegging-satan]

Come to think of it Kunikida also has a very specific type and that is- kind of lazy and messy, can’t take care of themselves, but still a very smart human disaster. case in point: Dazai and Katai