#dealer tf

[butterscotchpiesandguys]

Dealing

(Short story for @swappingbryn, check them out they're p cool!)

I was never really one for police, always thinking they're some abusive force. Really just never liked them. But one of my old friends got arrested last night and wanted me to talk to him. Or at least try... I wasn't too keen on that either but he said he would pay me back. So you know what? I did.

I went to the station and saw him, he looked... different from when I saw him last. Buffer, had a beard going for him, short hair... really seemed tougher. And so I asked him the question that got on my mind "And... what did you get put in jail for?" It was a simple question.

"Do I really have to say?" He grumbled.

"Kinser, just tell me already."

He sighed and started to recollect. "Okay but first? I need you to take one of these." He smiled as he pushed a pill through the small slot in the booth. It was labeled KR-0034.

I looked at him nervously before sighing and putting it in my mouth... god... tasted like ass... like sweat or something. I felt somewhat sick and looked at him, he was happy. "Okay, dude. Good. You're gonna be a big help out there."

"What do you -Urgh!" I felt my chest tingle before feeling like I got shot... my muscles were tightening, expanding, growing! My arms went from scrawny to giant! Just like... his? My face... my jaw started to get sore, some drool going down before my stubble grew as my chin grew some definition.

My hair shrunk to a buzz kind of style. I was a giant... but in the reflection of the glass I saw Kinser's face. "What did you..."

"Aight, so I'm gonna need to tell you this quick so the guards don't hear." He snapped drawing my attention. "Yeah I just gave you a cloner tablet. Made with my spit. You now look just like me. You know that job I got? The construction yard? Well I got promoted. I was given enhancements by my boss. That's how I'm as perfect as ya see me." What the fuck was he talking about? "And now... I'm recruitin you for the time being. You are gonna deal in my place until I get out."

Deal? As in... "Like what I was sellin. I snuck my phone in here... so I'll text the boss that you'll be comin later... Kaleb. We're gonna be cool about this right?" He waited. "Right, Kaleb?" I nodded... I felt a buzz... it was a location. "Blue maple is where they're meetin tonight. Don't be late for your first day."

4 MONTHS LATER

By now I was intertwined with the gang that I was forced into joining. They know me as Kaleb Pennimen. Another dumb dealer for them. The bosses like me, and Kinser? Well he's still in jail but we talk more than I ever had before. He's acting dumb now too... says it's part of the pill or whatever. I used to try and understand these things but now? I just sell em. Way easier that way. Thinkin isn't really for us now... So what are ya gonna do? You buyin or what? I don't have all night.

[wishingstarinajar]

Uh-oh, seems little Dullahan is in some trouble with @stankychee's Nightcleaver.

Oh, well, I guess it's fine then??

[windydrawallday]

my swindle just so happpens to have his robo pawbs out in display. oooo lockdown you wanna touch them soooo bad oooooooooo

"... I thought those were for his inbuild reader-scanner?"

(I know cybertronian technology is more advanced than an old Earth calculator and that they probably had their own numerical system but I COULDN'T RESIST THE STUPID JOKE)

[liyazaki]

my downstairs neighbor (a saint who’s decided to adopt me): do you think you could pick me up some butter while you’re at the store?

me (thrilled she’s finally letting me do SOMETHING for her): ON IT 🫡

cut to me giving her the butter & her handing me a bag before basically running off into the night before I could give it back to her (she’s slick).

inside the bag? two sweaters she randomly bought because she thought I’d like them (I do) & she knows I’m about to go to Europe where it’s chilly, plus a freaking $20 bill.

neighbor: 1000 points; me: negative 10/🥺😭💀

[bad-tf-fic-ideas]

(211) Today's fic idea is: an isekai cybertronian self insert/OC protagonist (not a reader, we're not cowards in my house) enters your preferred transformers setting absolutely determined to fix Starscream through the power of love.

No plan survives first contact with the enemy, though. Through discovery of, and exposure to, the realities of his character and the pressures of the setting, the OC/SI bonds instead with other members of the Decepticon high command over how darn frustrating Starscream is, leading to the most toxic OT3 imaginable.

[britcision]

When I tell y’all I had SO MUCH goddamn fun doing a full Canary weekend at Yeticon this year…

Getting really good at repainting the bags under my eyes 😁

And little Mithrun got an airing! Longer post to come, just some fun for now

(Also yeah I 1000% was carrying around mushroom candy and a little baggie of white powder (vanilla sugar) all day as Fleki and it was great I accidentally nearly taught so many small children about drugs)

[smoothriverrocksrock]

Saw this post and thought to myself, “yeah I can see it”

[cupiidzbow]

omg did y’all know he was on the movie too……👆🏽👆🏽 me showing you 5 pixels: isn’t he dreamy 🥰🥰🥰

[silverwolf1249]

i've seen vampire bruce stories, and i've seen bruce is not actually a vampire but everyone else thinks he is stories, and now i'm just thinking a human bruce with his very batty(Iliterally) vampire children hanging around under his cape like adorable little terrifying shadow creatures whose eyes glow in the dark

[banesberry-anomoly]

Fuck you *Homestucks your Dealer*

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Why are people who look at comic books from a “critical real-world lens” so obsessed with identifying the one person who is “100% right”. That doesn’t even exist in the real world.

Lost Days wasn’t made to protest global issues. It is a comic book exploring fictional character Jason’s mental journey after being resurrected and regaining consciousness against his will and/or power. Now how dare this character, in his own story where he has his own personal objective, not go out of his way to make sure each individual child from the collective hundreds he saved from traffickers and the likes gets adopted into nice homes. Obviously we have to disregard any good he did or that he cares at all because all he did was kill the fucker at the top who was responsible. Winick also never fleshed out all 42 of the trafficked children into nuanced characters with their own thoughts and feelings which was apparently neglectful lol.

In regards to utrh, Idk what this person read but there were more drug dealers Jason didn’t kill than those he did. Not once did he ever say he wanted to eliminate the flow of drugs in the community. He took over the trade. Not to mention he explicitly stated control vs elimination is where his goals differed from Bruce’s pipe dream hence why he’s successful and Bruce is still failing. Obviously if you completely misunderstand the character’s motivations you’ll find issues that don’t exist.

People just don’t want stories to be about what they are about, huh.

[your-local-chaotic-cryptid]

I wish I could draw well sometimes, because how tf am I supposed to describe what’s goin on in my little brain

[bad-tf-fic-ideas]

(044) Brainstorm gets picked up by the DJD on an out of the way space station.

They don't want to kill him horribly for being a double agent, no, no! They want him to make a fancy gun for Kaon—one he can aim via echolocation, obviously. Brainstorm tries to avoid this, um, this huge honour, by pointing out that engineering takes time and isn't their team super important and busy? But Tarn just waves this off with one huge hand on his wing, leaning in and telling him he'll just have to live aboard the Peaceful Tyranny while the DJD are occupied with their current hunt. Don't worry about it. He'll have all the resources he needs. He's already filed the paperwork. In triplicate.

And Brainstorm is definitely 100% a loyal Decepticon, right? Which is why the present situation isn't stressing him out at all. Not even a little bit. Besides, Brainstorm's got this. He can DEFINITELY outsmart five or six of the best killers in the Decepticon army. He's positive. Mostly. Probably. ...At least initially.

Frag.

[smoresie]

what if I said the dealer and shepherd share a bed together

[piplupod]

will i get into legal trouble if i google stuff like "how do people become assassins" and "how do people find drug dealers" (half joking)

i don't want to do any of that, i just want to know HOW people do that because it's always made me curious dshgsjkl like,,, where would one even begin with that type of stuff goddamn

[stonerzelda]

Ntw taking song recommendations so if anypony has songs that make you lose ur fockin mind blease uhhhhhh hmu