#deadpool weasel

[tiredweasel]

Issue #1 :

[ Writer's Note] This content is different from my usual JV shit posting, I've recently had a new fixation in Deadpool comics and decided to write an outline for my own. This story is based around characters from Earth - 616 (comics), mainly in the Deadpool/Spiderman universe. Some characters might not be exactly the way they are in comics, but then again, this is just a random story I wrote for fun. I hope you guys like it :) Oh! One last thing, I apologize if the duologue formatting seems off or inconsistent.

[Prologue]

Weasel gets kicked out of his apartment and ends up living out of Sister Margaret's. Wade walks into the bar (It's after closing, but Weasel forgot to lock up) looking for something. He comes to find Weasel sleeping in a booth.

[Dialogue]

[Wade/DP]: Weaz, wake up.

Gross, you smell like cheap booze and vomit.

[Weasel]: Huh??? *hic*

Wade? What are you doing here?-

We're closed.

[Wade/DP]: What are YOU doing here?

It's far past closing, you didn't even lock up.

[Weasel]: I got evicted.

[Wade/DP]: What did you do?

Noise complaints?

Neighbors catch too many ladies coming in and out?

Strange sobbing noises coming from within the walls?

[Weasel]: Ha, ha, ha.

No, look- right now, I'm not very uhm- liquid, so I couldn't pay rent.

[Wade/DP]: How?

You work multiple jobs, with decent pay too.

[Weasel]: Look *hic*, I made some uhm, unsavory choices awhile back and unless I wanted my OTHER liver taken, I had to pay up.

[Wade/DP]: ...

*Wade looks up, talking to the writer*

You think I should WHAT?!

Where would I even keep him?

Oh no, no, no, that's MY space, MINE.

Sure he's my best bud, but I can't...

...

Ugh, fine.

C'mon dude, get up.

[Weasel]: Why? *grunt*

I have no where to go.

[Wade/DP]: *sighs*

You can come stay with Al and I-

Just till you get back on your pigeon-toed feet.

[Weasel]: Really?

Are you sure?

I mean, don't you remember what happened last time?

I don't want a repeat of that.

My nose is still crooked...

[Wade/DP]: I sent you apology flowers!

Look- I promise I won't pummel your @#&.

[Weasel]: ...

Alright, but you'll need to help me up.

*Wade pulls Weasel up*

[Wade/DP]: Jesus Weaz, you gotta eat more protein, you're lighter than a baby bird.

[Weasel]: $#&@... *hic*... you... dude. *throws up*

[Wade/DP]: Really?

Watch the boots.

[Weasel]: You're gonna have to carry me. *Falls over*

[Wade and Weasel leave the bar, going to the DeadHut]

[Wade/DP]: Honey, I'm homeeeee!

And I brought dinner.

[Weasel]: *sick noises*

[Blind Al]: Shut the $#&@ up!!!

It's 4:30 in the morning!

[Wade\DP]: How would you know?

Alright Weaz, let's get you to bed.

*Weasel throws up on himself*

[Wade/DP]: Let's get you to the shower.

[After shower]

[Wade/DP]: Here, you can borrow these.

* Wade hands Weasel a worn Hello Kitty shirt and a pair of Batman boxers*

[Weasel]: *yawns*

Thanks.

* gets dressed* Uhm, not to be rude, but where am I gonna sleep?

I don't want to bunk with Al, old ladies scare me.

[Wade/DP]: Well, Deuce is on the couch and he doesn't like to share...

[Weasel]: Are you imposing..?

[Wade/DP]: That you get to share a bed with the world's greatest bachelor?

Yes, yes I am.

[Weasel]: ...

[Wade/DP]: I made that weird.

Just stay on your side

[That rule did not apply to Wade, he did not stay on his side.]

[Time Skip 2:47 PM, the next day]

[Weasel]: Ugh, where am I?

[Wade/DP]: *standing over Weasel*

Morning Sunshine!

[Weasel]: AHHHHH!!! What are you doing in my house?!

[Wade\DP]: YOUR house?

Does this smell like YOUR house?

Last time I checked, this place don't smell like old spice, cigs, and self-pity.

[Weasel]: Why am I here?

Did we-?!

Oh god.

[Wade/DP]: Pfft- you wish.

Did you forget?

I found you passed out at Sister M's, then you spewed chunks all over.

Next, you started crying and made me carry you home.

Then we got home and you threw up again, all over yourself.

So you stumbled into the shower then into my bed.

By the way, you snore.

[Weasel]: Oh.

Look, thanks for helping, I'll get going.

[Wade/DP]: To where?

You seem to forget you're currently homeless.

[Weasel]: Well, there's a lot of nice benches in the rich neighborhood.

[Wade/DP]: Oh yeah.

Ok, see ya!

*looks up and talks to writers*

For Christ's sake.

Fine.

[Weasel is walking out the door.]

[Wade/DP]: Weaz- wait.

We- I, think you should stay here.

[Weasel]: It's fine, really.

I don't want to cause you or Al anymore trouble.

*Wade clenches teeth and looks up at writers*

[Wade/DP]: Look Weaz, you're my best bud, I can't let you be panhandling on the streets.

Like I said last night, you can stay here till you get everything together.

[Weasel]: Are you sure?

There's not much space for me.

[Wade/DP]: Get in the car.

We're going to IKEA.

[One IKEA montage later.]

[Wade/DP]: Do you know any Swedish?

End of Issue #1

Feel free to leave any advice or constructive criticism, also I suck with grammar so there might be some errors.

[lil-playful-pup]

He's from where?

[asaltysquid]

Some 18 year old Wade/Weasel/Kurt for a college au thing I have with my boyfriend, alternatively called A hockey player, his pet incel, and the nice blue friend they bagged somehow. (Some of the Wades look different because boyfriend is dying on the "he has a rat tail" hill)

Logan exists too just have to draw him

[icarusredwings]

Rewatched Deadpool 1. Took notes.

WARNING: Discussion of mental illness topics, ending yourself, trauma, violence, etc.

Civil debate/ conversation welcomed. Sorry its super long. I think a lot.

Notes:

You know what? We see Wade coloring a lot. What's our status on just giving him cartoons snacks and coloring books? He needs it.

I think we all forget how actually impressive this man is. I just watched this cancer having fucker do like 50 flips.

Whatta man is so Logan Howlett coded.

"Bad deadpool" "good deadpool!"

Deadpool has been helping kids for a while. He terrified a little creep while he himself was a huge creep.

Missed up his words and Vanessa smiled at him. With that "aw hes cute" kinda thing.

When talking about their childhood (whether he's lying or not, hes not about the uncle) and he outdos her so much that she giggles.

The first date he takes her ducking skiiballing instead of yk prostitute stuff

Hes so romantic oh my god.

Theyre giggling and joking like all the time. Personally thanksgiving is my favorite scene before he proposes with a fucking ring pop.

I shouldn't laugh but the way he said "wtf" when passing out

Vanessa instantly jumping to "what can we do? There has to be something" makes me instantly respect her as a chronically ill person myself. Partners who medically defend each other make me so happy because a lot of people divorce their partners when they get "too sick" let alone dont show up to specialist appointments.

Him accepting death so quickly is a sign of mental illness, and you can see him be confused on why shes so upset. Shes crying and hes sitting here like "why do you care if I die or not?" He physically feels so unloved that he just doesn't get it.

"I dont know. Might further the plot. " Oh, so you know about wades little mental tv show he puts on in his head as a coping mechanism?

Also... Weasel.. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS A WEASEL!? Shit sorry wrong movie.

Its not until now that hes crying because he realizes if he does then no more vanessa. We already know hes very co dependent and many people only care about themselves BECAUSE of other people. Which is also considered a sign of wanting to ☠️ self.

The whole "superheros are all lame ass teachers pets" thing is so funny if you think about how much beef he has with the xmen when in reality I have a feeling Wade would love charles in a "Ugh im in trouble with Daddy wheel chair again." COUGH "old bald heavens gate looking mother fucker" COUGH

"Thats not nice" No. But wade is genuienly not nice either.

"This is embarrassing. Please stop, " Colosus said what we all were thinking.

Bro literally cut/broke off his own hand and didn't whine a single time. If you ever. EVER hear this man express pain it is 99.9% his own choice to let you know that it hurts.

During his changing process, Francis says "the only thing that doesn't survive is a sense of humor" wade says "we'll see about that" and smirks.

What also makes sense to me is that he did NOT break easily. They did test after test after test and this man still wasn't breaking. His spirit is incredibly strong and as much as we enjoy joking about how stupid he is, Wade is extremely resourceful.

Its like he has created an alter ego of humor and kindess in order to keep up with the fact he DOES understand how fucked up this world is and whats happening/happened around him but refuses to acknowledge it until he has too. Ussually for survival.

Ive seen theories that he has DID or a type of Scizophreania and the voices in the comics are obviously in his head. I have mixed feelings about it because even his thoughts have thoughts of their own in some cases. Talking to no one is often a sign of abadonment, esspecially in children who are school age and get lonely when taken from their families to attend school. Its almost as if wade never lost his and hes subconsiously talking to himself to keep himself calm/ from panicking in high stress situations.

"But then how does he know hes in a movie" thats the thing. He doesn't. Hes pretending to cope. Main charaters cant die and until he dies he has this mental show/movie going on to keep himself from realizing all of this is true. That this is reality.

Cunningham mentions breakfast for his kids and suddenly, wade wakes up. Hes not joking anymore. This is a "oh shit... I wanna make breaktsst for my kids too... with my wife vanessa" moment.

"So whats wrong with him?"

Diiiiiddd we all forget about scout master kevin? Uncle? Dad? That fact that the oxygen was physically taken from his brain and was given Co2 poisoning over and over? For multiple days? This is the same man who blew himself up just to escape because they told him he wasnt going to see vanessa again.

And then he fought a guy naked, survived the entire building burning down, and now is so insecure about his looks that he thinks he made the baby cry in the street.

Theres people staring at him, flinching away, called names, people see him and cross the street. (So when he tells Logan that he knows his pain when it comes to public settings, hes not lying)

Blind Al is literally the reason deadpools suit is what it is. Why the idiot thought white was gonna be a good idea- See above. Unlike Al, who could smell the blood/ bleach.

I really love al. She's like the adult Toph.

"I hear everything in this duplex." OH, you poor thing.

"The guy that turned me into this freak-"

Al: *bitch im blind face*

As far as she's aware, he looks normal. Which is beautiful when you think about it, but it's funny when you think about the fact that he's so insecure about his face that he purposly found a blind room mate that couldn't judge him.

And they cuddle while he gets dating advice from grammie 🥹❤️

I really like how the entirety of Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children (HellHouse in the comics) stood up for Weasel. They're murderers. But they're family.

What they did to vanessa was straight fucked. Her fiance up and leaves without notice, youre just trying to work and live your life, you get kidnapped.

Negasonic is so cool. I love them.

Dopinder (The cab guy) is so cool too. I love him too. Kill that guy in your trunk. "Mr. Pool" reminds me of Tom holland spiderman.

"It is not boy band >:(" Suurreee it isn't.

"Wheres your duffle bag?" You mean his dollar general store tree hello kitty book bag filled with guns?

"Cue the music" *no one even gives a fuck at this point when he talks to the imaginary cams*

Negasonic mid battle: Hold on- "Hey Yukio, yeah I just gotta fuck shit up real quick, ttyl?"

"Sure thing! <3 You go baby!"

I dont know anything about negasonic but she reminds me of Gambit with her energy powers.

Like I said. Hes smart when its a serious situation because he immediately threw his katana into the glass so vanessa could breathe, only to immediately turn sappy and childish again when he sees her stab francis with it. Heart hands, is hallucinating because theres a knife in his brain (literally), sex joke. Etc.

Colossus shut the fuck up. Let this man kill him. He's hurt Soooooo many people. A bullet costs less then a dollar. His amount of therapy alone is going to be like *checks calculations* 80 billion.

"Not the nethers" Wade can and often does show proof of hurting but hed rather cut off his hand then let vanessa punch him in the balls. "Ow- owie 5000"

Hello Hugh Jackman.

After not seeing each other for so longer they instantly go back to the fibbing. "I live in the house with 12"

"You live in a house??" Funny guys get the girls. I should know. My wife says im super funny (yes im in therapy)

Pinky promises really matter to him.

Hes such a silly billy he brought out the phone with their song on it. God what a romantic idiot.

[darthmasterchief]

Since Laura is trending, here’s the first art of her I had commissioned.

[randommmthoughts]

Appreciation post for all the wonderful people cooperating on Deadpool 1

[marvelgifs]

DEADPOOL (2016) dir. Tim Miller

[kittaykattz]

people comparing logan to a cat is really funny bc a wolverine is in no way a cat

[thingsasbarcodes]

Deadpool 2 (2018)

[marvellegends]

DEADPOOL (2016) - dir. Tim Miller

[resident-idiot-simp]

God of death Logan and his right hand Wade a man who can't die

Ft: @existentialgaybirdnerd

He's a mercenary still and maybe he met Logan during the weapon X offshoot thing. And then he ends up doing not only mercenary jobs but also jobs for Logan

Bird: Logan was trying to help along all the souls left after the fire and was trying to help Wade when he woke up

He gets glimpses during the torture but absolutely he finally sees him for real after the fire

Bird: Logan liked Wade because he sent so many people to him and was funny, so seeing him during and after the fire and unable to help him broke his heart. When Wade gasped awake, Logan nearly cheered for the human who had once again escaped his grasp

And Wade immediately blurts out that he is the hottest thing he's ever seen

Bird: "Am I in fucking heaven because holy shit I think I'm looking at God"

And Logan can't help but be flattered because no one ever looks at him with anything other than fear

After this Logan says he will help Wade get his revenge and that's exactly what he does. He has a grudge against these people anyway because of how many innocents are being slaughtered.

He is there for every single death and Wade treats it like courting.

Bird: Logan watches as Wade kills every person and whispers suggestions for questions and suit designs in his ear, amusing himself with Al's sass. Twist: that's who Wade is talking to during 4th wall breaks

When Francis dies Logan is ecstatic and immediately grabs his soul and pretty much eviscerates him. Francis has about 2 seconds before he realizes what's going on and Logan just waves at him and then Wade waves at him. And Francis has the biggest OH SHIT moment in existence.

Bird: And then Wade gets up and the Vanessa thing happens and when the other two walk away he asks how she would feel being in a throuple with death

Vanessa the legend she just shrugs and asks if death is hot

Bird: Death goes on a vacation (me: Or alternatively not quite a vacation but he is regularly around.) to be in a happy throuple for a couple of years. Pretends to be a simple mutant

Bird: He doesn't need to do TOO much because he's got helpers anyway. Death is a lot of paperwork but he collects souls sometimes for fun. So he'll just bring paperwork to their apartment and parallel play while they all do their own thing

Vanessa when she first sees him says this was the best decision of her life. While Logan immediately likes her because of how similar she is to Wade

Weasel absolutely notices Wade doesn't talk into thin air when Logan is around and he's getting suspicious.

Bird: One day Logan looks at Weasel as he's trying to figure it out and winks at him and disappears

WEASEL FREAKS OUT Wade and Vanessa play dumb

Bird: Wade: "he went to the bathroom like 2 minutes ago man, what do you meant he disappeared?"

Weasel would write it off because of a mutation but he already damn well knows Logan's mutation. He has to It's best friend code to know everything about your best friends partner or partners in this case

Bird: Logan will go invisible and just fuck with things behind the bar when it's a slow night, making Weasel think the place is haunted. and he always wins the dead pools and no one knows how

(Dp 2)

Bird: Logan is busy or indisposed and Vanessa wouldn't necessarily die, but Wade does kinda lose his shit because holy hell someone tried to kill my gf and now there's a boy in trouble.

Ooohhh what it could be is because of Cable coming into existence during the past it's screwing things up for Logan on his side

Logan ends up outing himself when Cable appears in the apartment with his idea.

Logan just appears and starts cursing Cable out because DO YOU KNOW THE NIGHTMARE THAT YOU JUST CAUSED FOR ME?!

[qcomicsy]

Attaching a picture of every time Wade and Weasel are not dicks to each other for emotional reasons.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

WEASEL // deadpool franchise

[dyns33]

Deadpool : "I need pity sooooooo bad !"

Weasel : "You always say that you don't want pity."

Spiderman : "No, he said 'Petey', as in me."

Deadpool : "My Peteeeeeeey !"

[courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme]

Deadpool (2016, Tim Miller)

25/07/2024

[insanepoll]

WELCOME TO THE INSANE CHARACTER TOURNAMENT

Here's where your favourite insane characters will battle to the death for the first spot! More below the "keep reading" line.

Pre-match rounds start April 12th at 1PM (EDT)! Each round will have 24h to vote. For propaganda, you can go ahead and submit it in the askbox or through normal submissions. If you want to post your own propaganda, be sure to tag me so I can reblog it! I hope to see y'all there!!!

Round 1-A matches:

Alex Kralie (Marble Hornets) VS The Antagonist (Hatred (2015))

Drusilla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) VS Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)

Tokishige Usami (Golden Kamuy) VS Enerjak (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Harry Du Bois (Disco Elysium) VS Evan (EverymanHYBRID)

Azula (ATLA) VS Knock Knock (Phantom Spirits (2002))

Eric Cartman (South Park) VS Wade Wilson / Deadpool (Marvel)

Orochimaru (Naruto) VS WINNER PRE-MATCH I

Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto Shippuden) VS Delirium (Sandman)

Castiel (Supernatural) VS Simon Keyes (Ace Attorney Investigations 2)

Opal Koboi (Artemis Fowl) VS Bibble (Barbie Fairytopia)

Hamlet (The Tragical History of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark) VS The Observer (TribeTwelve)

Misty Quigley (Yellowjackets) VS Lestat de Lioncourt (Interview with the Vampire)

Will Graham (NBC Hannibal) VS Shou Tucker (FMA)

Ophelia (The Tragical History of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark) VS Starscream (Transformers)

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) VS WINNER PRE-MATCH II

The Narrator (Fight Club) VS Gamzee Makara (Homestuck)

Round 1-B matches:

Dabi (My Hero Academia) VS Shinobu Sensui (Yu Yu Hakusho)

The entire cast of Blaseball (Blaseball) VS Trexel Geistman (Stellar Firma)

Seo Moon-jo (Strangers from Hell) VS Sammy Lawrence (Bendy and the Ink Machine)

Sebastian Morgenstern (The Shadowhunter Chronicles) VS GIR (Invader Zim)

Aerion Targaryen (A Song of Ice and Fire) VS Lucille Bluth (Arrested Development)

Dottore (Genshin Impact) VS Helena (Orphan Black)

GLaDOS (Portal (Game Series)) VS WINNER PRE-MATCH III

Dr. Franken Stein (Soul Eater) VS Tyrian Callows (RWBY)

Samarie (Fear and Hunger 2: Termina) VS Mahito (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Cersei Lannister (A Song of Ice and Fire) VS Lee Dongsik (Beyond Evil)

Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader (Star Wars) VS Rebecca Bunch (Crazy Ex-girlfriend)

John Kramer (Saw) VS The Mad Hatter (Alice in Wonderland)

Light Yagami (Death Note) VS Komaeda Nagito (Danganronpa 2)

The Master (Doctor Who) VS Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

Gollum (Lord of the Rings) VS WINNER PRE-MATCH IV

Roman Roy (Succession) VS Jack (The Shining)

Round 1-C matches:

Jinx (Arcane) VS Niki Sanders / Jessica Sanders (Heroes)

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare (Bloodborne) VS Professor Henry Hidgens (Hatchetfield)

Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein) VS Cicero (Skyrim)

Renfield (Dracula) VS Dr. Gregory House (House MD)

Tim Drake (DC) VS Ultra Violet (Lego Ninjago)

Donatello Hamato (ROTTMNT) VS Spamton G. Spamton (Deltarune)

The Ice King (Adventure Time) VS WINNER PRE-MATCH V

Villanelle (Killing Eve) VS Kira Yoshikage (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure)

Max (Sam and Max) VS Loki (The Mechanisms)

Darcy (Amphibia) VS Cheryl Tunt (Archer)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus (The Locked Tomb) VS Dr. Baxter Stockman (TMNT 2003)

Izzy (Total Drama) VS Alfred Drevis (Mad Father)

Michael Distortion (The Magnus Archives) VS Vegas Theerapanyakul (Kinnporsche)

Doomguy (Doom) VS Gabriel Agreste (Miraculous)

Ben Chang (Community) VS WINNER PRE-MATCH VI

Fëanor (The Silmarillion) VS Ryuki (AI: The Somnium Files)

Round 1-D matches:

Eliot Cardale / Eli Ever (Villains Duology) VS Knives Millions (Trigun)

Denji (Chainsaw Man) VS Bubby (Half Life: VR but the AI is Self Aware)

Tsukishima Hajime (Golden Kamuy) VS Alucard (Hellsing Ultimate)

Hannibal Lecter (NBC Hannibal) VS Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights)

Johnny C. (Johnny The Homicidal Maniac) VS Leopold Fitz (Marvel)

Midori (Your Turn To Die) VS Ken Kaneki (Tokyo Ghoul)

Pugsley Addams (The Addams Family) VS WINNER PRE-MATCH VII

Billy Lenz (Black Christmas (1974)) VS Grell Sutcliff (Black Butler)

Goro Akechi (Persona 5) VS Fintan Pyren (Keeper of the Lost Cities)

Galahad (The Mechanisms) VS Alexander Hilbert (Wolf 359)

Armand (Interview with the Vampire) VS Spinel (Steven Universe)

Jīn Guāngyáo (Mo Dao Zu Shi (The Untamed)) VS Himiko Toga (My Hero Academia)

Morgana Pendragon (BBC Merlin) VS Nikolai Gogol (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Harley Quinn (DC) VS Xue Yang (Mo Dao Zu Shi (The Untamed))

Eren Jaeger (Attack on Titan) VS WINNER PRE-MATCH VIII

Chat Blanc (Miraculous) VS Volo (Pokemon Legends Arceus)

But first, we'll have the pre-match rounds that will determine if any of the following characters that almost didn't survive the cut will manage to secure a spot in the competition! They are as follows:

PRE-MATCH I: Caleb (Blood (1997)) VS Tuco Salamanca (Better Call Saul)

PRE-MATCH II: Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony) VS Amy Kirio (Mairimashita! Iruma-kun)

PRE-MATCH III: Magic Man (Adventure Time) VS Mindbender (GI Joe Renegades)

PRE-MATCH IV: Jevil (Deltarune) VS Midari Ikishima (Kakegurui)

PRE-MATCH V: Dennis Reynolds (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) VS Eddie Gluskin (Outlast)

PRE-MATCH VI: Vanilla Ice (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure) VS Roberto (Futurama)

PRE-MATCH VII: Jonathan Crane / The Scarecrow (DC) VS Annie Wilkes (Misery)

PRE-MATCH VIII: Ben Linus (Lost) VS Kristoph Gavin (Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney)