#deacon of madness

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

[shazzbaa]

this hasnt happened i was just so stupidly amused by the concept of them having to appear anywhere as a couple while they are technically engaged that i had to imagine it. samuel just white-knuckling edwards arm like SAM YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CATCH FEELINGS FOR THIS WEIRDO. DO NOT.

also Boo pointed out to me that Poor Edward gazing lovingly at the very prominent scar Samuel got from having to bash his head in after SOMEONE buried him alive is actually just perfect...... a nice memory of a great time with his fiancé......

anyway this is as good a time as any for a reminder to block the tag "light fingers" or "light fingers spoilers" if you follow me but want to NOT see me yelling/drawing about the rest of the ambition THERE WILL PROBABLY BE, A FAIR AMOUNT,

bonus:

sam is HOPING TO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE TO MARRY THIS GUY but since edward gave me this, uh, thoughtful(??) mask to wear i had to draw the hypothetical wedding fit lmao

Sam glaring thru smiling mask while Edward grins through a frowning mask.... cmon sam its meant to be!!!! you match perfectly

[atomicfunster]

HELLO????? ROGERRR??????

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

Mid - February 1991 - Queen Story!

Queen were shooting “I’m Going Slightly Mad” promo video (February 13, 14 and 15)

Director The Torpedo Twins with Freddie Mercury

👉 “I’m Going Slightly Mad”

Written by Freddie Mercury

Taken from 'Innuendo' album released in 1991

👉 'The Torpedo Twins': this nickname was given to them by Freddie Mercury

- Do.Ro Produktion Ges.mbH a.k.a. Do.Ro Productions film company, Vienna, Austria.

👉 Do.Ro was named after the surnames of founders Rudi Dolezal and Hannes Rossacher -

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[miamia-meow]

So soft, gentle & sweet 🥰

[privatehousesanatomy]

the musical number where house sings "get happy" is the same vibes as queen's "i'm going slightly mad" music video. also, because house is so shinedown coded, another music video that fits the vibe is their song "dark side"

[maspaz]

"it doesn't matter."

" it's you. of course it matters."

[watchyourdigits]

I am re-reading Night Letter and am realizing I didn't do nearly enough research into scar tissue as I should have 💀 I spent hours researching lavender marriages and U.S. Army dog tags from the 1950s (as well as ranks and dismissals and such) instead of researching one of the defining characteristics of the main character, aka his severe facial scarring.

Anyway here I am retconning his scars - they are hypertrophic NOT keloid. That is entirely on me because I didn't know what the fuck the term was for it and assumed that if they were raised then they HAD to be keloids. I'm so sorry for this. Like deeply.

For those who don't know the difference, I don't recommend looking up pics unless you're okay with seeing mild medical g*re. Brief description of the aforementioned scar types:

Keloid: raised, shiny, firm & rubbery in texture with no distinct pattern. Caused by an excess of collagen deposits during the healing process. These scars invasively extend PAST the area of the original wound and do not regress over time. Hard to treat. Can form over months to years after an injury. More common in black folks and other melanated people who have a family history of keloid scarring.

Hypertrophic: raised, but not to the degree of keloids, and can also be different colors and usually have a distinct wavy pattern due to collagen deposits. Also caused by an excess of collagen, but not to the extent of keloids. These scars do NOT extend past the area of the original wound, typically do not recur, and CAN regress over time. Typically appear within a month of two of an injury and do not continue to progress (typically begin to regress actually).

I'm attaching an image below the cut comparing the two.

Left is keloid, right is hypertrophic. You'll see the difference. It's easy to confuse them because they're similar in depiction, but this is a good visual example of exactly HOW they are different. Raised scars =/= keloids!!! Do NOT be a fool like me!!!!

[rpfisfine]

i wasn’t the biggest fan in the world of days gone (2019) bc the writing was a bit cheesy & corny at times and the second half felt like such an unbelievable chore to play that i was practically begging for the main story to begin wrapping up at one point instead of expanding into more and more nonsensical plotlines and I also wasn’t too happy abt the fact that they made the only canonically bisexual character cheat on her girlfriend with a man for no other apparent reason other than being bisexual but yesterday i learned they won’t be making a sequel bc playstation executives didn’t like that the sales weren’t too good despite the fact that ghost of tsushima sold even less copies and im pissed off as fuck

[debdarkpetal]

#Repost @/_letusclingtogether_ on Instagram:

——

"I'm going slightly mad..." 🦍🎪🎠🐧

[deaconcheese1998]

Here me out: AU where queen and others exist as Alice in Wonderland characters.

John Deacon is White Rabbit

Brian May is Mad Hatter

Roger Taylor is March Hare

Freddie Mercury is the Queen on Hearts

Michael Jackson is Cheshire Cat

And not pictured, Veronica Tetzlaff as Alice!

Theres others but these are the main ones lol.

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

Mid February 1991, in these days - Queen Story!

🔸Queen were shooting “I’m Going Slightly Mad” promo video (February 13, 14 and 15)

🔸Director The Torpedo Twins with Freddie Mercury

👉 “I’m Going Slightly Mad” written by Freddie Mercury

"That was very much a Freddie track and you tend to want to give the author his head. Even though we said that everything is by Queen, there was still somebody who was basically the original author and everyone else worked on it. It was a good idea as it produced a lot of input, but in the end it was Freddie's baby so it was natural that he would want to get certain things right."

- Brian May, October 1994, Guitarist Magazine

- The Torpedo Twins (nicknamed so by Freddie mercury) Do.Ro Produktion Ges.mbH a.k.a. Do.Ro Productions film company, Vienna, Austria.

👉 Do.Ro was named after the surnames of founders Rudi Dolezal and Hannes Rossacher -

[hyvee]

ur so sillay

[purple-nugget]

NO BECAUSE WHEN I FOUND OUT GWENDOLINE'S BF WAS A DESIGNER I CRIED BECAUSE IMAGINE HIM MAKONG CLOTHES ONLY FOR HER

[petrodragonicapocalypse]

in retrospect getting an ambiguous score on the main autism tests but getting a wayy above average score on the cat-q is kinda funny... like im clearly masking Something. not sure what tho