#dazai believes ghosts exist

[evilkaeya]

meursault girlies but it's a modern au and they're paranormal investigators

[raimoka]

— " SKYSCRAPER KILLS MY GHOST IN YOUR MEMORY "

｡ ㅤꕤ ㅤ PAIRING: beastzai & reader.

SYNOPSIS: dazai had been always painfully aware of his inability to obtain the things he wanted.

tags ➜ alternate universe—beast, beast spoilers, pining, gender neutral mc, kinda angsty, no happy ending, one-sided love, author is sleep deprived & may or may not have badly executed this work, lowercase as always. ‹𝟹

⋆ author's notes: another part of beastzai brain rot... this work was inspired by someone's else work, check out their account since it rlly gave me more motivation! also PLEASE give me ur thoughts abt beastzai since i rlly wanna write more abt him

send an order!! → guide ❀ flowers ←

"get away from me."

your words were harsh, accompanied with an abrasive tone which emphasized the words that elicited from your lips.

dazai's breath hitched, his expression distorted and his line of sight drawing meaningless figures in the air. he parted his lips open yet no words elicited from his lips, as if fighting against something invisible, as if he was a fish desperately wanting to say something but with the lack of vocal chords, they are unable to. his hands quaked, lowering his head to avoid the gaze piercing through his soul.

it wasn't the same. it was nowhere close, not even the slightest. the emotions reflecting on your eyes, your tone, your feelings towards him, everything about you. your eyes which would often reflect deep fondness and lenience were filled with cold bitterness, there was no single glimpse of love in your eyes, it was merely pure hatred. the look on your eyes stung him, as if his heart was being pierced by multiple glass shards leisurely, each one of them digging in slowly into the piece of flesh to agonize him and making sure he felt the sensation of each piece.

your love for him, or at least to him in another universe, was sweet as a sprig of mignonette. you showed extreme tenderness to him, so much that it brought queasiness to him with intense warmth engulfing his chest to the point it made his knees buckle underneath him yet all the traces of that love you always held for him was gone.

it wasn't the same.

he abruptly began to laugh, you blinked, tilting your head to the side, feigning your confusion as his soft laughters began to fill the tense atmosphere. he couldn't blame you, if someone suddenly laughed in front of him for absolutely no specific reason, he'd think they lost their mind the sound of his laughter slowly began to ebb away, his shoulders shaking, he was idiotic. how could he forget? he always have been conscious of it ever since the reality of his life had unfolded in front of him, dazai was never meant to be happy. he had no right to, he was in no position at all to deserve happiness, not with the pure blood that tainted his hands, everyone was better off without him and it was proven by the existence of this universe.

he was so distracted at the bright sun he saw for the first time in years upon discovering your presence, the luminance he witnessed left him too struck to the point when he stared at it, he forgot his own ugliness. 

he was so preoccupied with the warmthness that enveloped his chest he forgot his own destiny.

it was never meant to be the same.

he had always known that, he was utterly foolish for believing he could at least be with you, even for a moment.

with his head drooped, the sounds of his shoes stepping against the tiled floor was hushed, walking slowly to your frame. you took a step back, slightly. you were entirely befuddled by the situation unwrapping before you, that was a thing for certain. who wouldn't? you didn't know this person nor did he give any sort appearance of familiarity, however, he knew you wholly, he knew your name, your likes, your routine, but he was merely a stranger to you, nothing more, nothing less. the moonlight shone over your figure, making every single bit of features visible, his head still lowered, sticking in with the darkness—It truly looked as if he was already with it for ages, It suited himself.

his hands precipitously reached out to you, attempting to catch a piece of misty clothes, you initially planned to step back, afraid he would do anything that would harm you, nonetheless, all he did was grasp onto your murky clothes. he loathed it, he detested it, your guard was up, you were cautious and alarmed, you didn't trust him at all. you were petrified of what he was scheming when all he wanted to do was hold you and feel your warmth, in hopes it would make him forget his own reality momentarily even if he disliked being completely vulnerable and exposed. you blinked in surprise as his hands clutched onto your clothes, you couldn't see what he was thinking, he was hiding his eyes away from you. strangely, how he did so felt familiar in spite of you having no recollection of him.

he parted his lips once again, finally opening his mouth after a while, "I won't do anything." he assured, he wouldn't be able to handle it if he hurt you in any sort of ways, he wouldn't forgive himself. you remained silent, like a cold, uncomfortable.

"I won't hurt you, It would be imprudent to do so." he reaffirmed once again, despite knowing his affirmation wasn't most likely gonna be effective especially since you barely recognized him. 

all he wanted was just to get a single hold of you, after all, no matter how much he desired you to look at him with pure fondness, to hold his hand, to feel your hand caressing his face, to wrap your arms around his shoulder, and say some kind words to him like you used to, there was one thing for certain; you wouldn't, It's irrational, a stranger would have no right to feel all those, especially when the said stranger is an enemy of yours.

feeling the uneasiness grow further, you lightly placed your hand onto his bitterly cold hands, feeling his excoriated palms—completely besparred with feculent mire—with your thumb. you withdrew his hand away from yours clothes tattered with specks of dust. you were wholly fazed by his actions, it weirded you out. he understood what you were conveying and he backed away from you, lifting his once drooped head up slightly.

his gaze was kept on the ground, as if he was afraid to see the look you held for him. his eyes were swirling with sorrow and melancholiness, small tears swelling up on the corners of his eyes, It reminded you of a all mudded up mutt left in the streets—attempting to domesticate a monster into a lovable thing.

"I apologize for wasting your time." he spoke, and with that he turned around and left, never to be seen again.

It was pointless to meet up with you once more when he knew better than anyone else that you were completely disturbed by him, after all.

It would be the best option to not show himself to you again and accept you would forever hate him.

₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ @saelique ,, taglists are open everytime.

[mitsies]

❊ a night to remember - dazai osamu . . you're a barista in the middle of a turf war. dazai is assigned to babysit.

the café you work at is nowhere near 'fantastic,' like the critics acclaim.

it's situated on a busy street corner, right next to an even busier airport. this draws an unfortunately large amount of new customers. you cringe thinking about the poor foreigners, unable or unwilling to purchase overpriced airport cuisine, who find refuge (and a meal) at your workplace. it must be an awful first experience in the country, you think.

despite the wealth your employers must've accumulated from an ever-rotating customer base, you don't think a single dime has ever gone towards improving the place. the outside seems nice enough, but the appliances are hardly functional. paint peels off the walls in the back, and the windows have long since been sealed shut. it gets way too hot in the summer. tables are rickety and every time someone takes a seat, you fear for their life. a small hole in the wall exists right by the entrance to the back, and sometimes when you go to close shop you hear skittering (which you pray is a mouse and not a ghost.) the good part about this, though, is that a little cat frequents your block around nighttime. she's the only reason you enjoy working at the joint, really, especially since it's open so unusually late, meaning you have to work stupid hours. who needs coffee and sandwiches at 10 at night?

you wonder how your shoddy little place of work has passed a single health inspection. you also wonder how you're still alive, because you're pretty sure that there is black mold growing in the storeroom. that, and the fact that you're all too often worked to the bone. your boss never does much, and your coworkers, though lovely people, take way too many sick days to be normal. you think the black mold may have gotten them. either that or they're lazy and love to see you suffer. more often than not, you're the only one working the busy café all day. that place would be a mess if it weren't for you, you like to believe.

it's an unusually slow night when the cat comes by to visit. she's a little thing, with a fluffy grey body and tiny white paws. her nose is a black button framed by white fur and long whiskers. you call her misty, like the character from pokémon.

you haven't gotten a customer in a while. you suspect it's because of the bad weather; your usual clientele of travelers are all seeking shelter within the airport, not daring to venture out quite yet. misty herself is dripping water all over the entrance of the café, but she's too cute for you to care. you walk out from behind the counter to pet her with the back of your hand. your skin comes away damp and covered in a thin layer of cat fur, which is a little gross but you've seen worse while working here. she meows. from your place by the door, you can see outside to the rain-soaked sidewalk. hard droplets of water pelt down like hail, staining the world a shade darker. you grimace, because there's no way you can walk home in this downpour.

"what do i do now, misty?" you stoop down to stroke the cat a little more. she purrs a little, and her long fur continues to stick to your hand in its dampness. nasty.

standing back up, you make your way to the back of the shop to rinse your hands in the sink. you aren't expecting anyone to come in at this point, not when it's this late, and not in this weather. you are proven very wrong when you hear the door creak open, and misty's meow before she scampers away to a far corner of the store.

plastering your best customer service smile on your face, you look up and move to the counter to greet the new arrival. you expect them to be a particularly brave traveler, and you imagine the mess of rainwater you'd later have to mop up off the floor. you are, however, pleasantly surprised by the sight of one of your favourite regulars. "oda!"

he's usually not in this late. but he gives you a small kind of smile as he closes the umbrella he holds and stores it in the designated area, bless him. you, to this day, wonder why he chooses to come to this raggedy little shop enough to be considered a regular. the coffee isn't that good, and the pastries are always a little dry, in your opinion. plus, it's just gross. maybe you're just a hypochondriac, though, because oda seems like a smart and sensible man who would not come to a café that would give him diseases. probably. you hope.

he's a kind, quiet person. you don't know much about him, if anything at all. he's got your name memorised and always greets you, and he tips well, and he asks about your day sometimes. you think he's sweet. maybe not smart, actually, if he keeps coming back. or maybe he's a health advisor coming to collect evidence to shut the place down— oh, you could only hope this is true.

misty, upon realising it's just oda, walks her little feet back over towards the entrance. the tall man bends over to pet the little cat, and for the first time, you catch sight of another person behind him. a boy. he's tall, or at least taller than you. but he doesn't look like much. a set of spindly limbs, bandages covering one eye, while the other is sunken and tired. a coat hangs loosely from his shoulders. you wonder if he's been eating enough. in a flash, though, his eyes connect with yours. it's brief, and awkward, and he stares straight into you like he can see through your skull into your thoughts. a shiver runs down your spine. he might look your age but there is something about him that tells you he has been around far too long, and seen enough for lifetimes. oda stands back up, cutting your view of the boy off. you readjust, trying to shake off the uncanny veil that's just descended on your little store. "your usual, oda?"

he smiles again. "please. thank you."

you dare look at the boy again. "and anything for you, sir?"

his gaze flickers back towards you. it's less heavy than before, but still, a force resides behind it. he hums and smiles. it seems hollow. you try to pay it no mind. "nope."

you nod briskly and go about preparing oda's drink. in your periphery, you watch the pair settle down by a table on the side wall of the shop, right against a big window. oda's back is facing you and you can feel his companion's eyes following your moves every so often. you try your best to ignore it, the way his eyes carry a pressure that drills into your skull.

it's 8:07 at night when oda gets a call. you aren't eavesdropping, but you don't miss the furrow of his brows and the vacancy that passes through his eyes. he'd probably leave soon. you purse your lips; might as well close once these two leave. they came in half an hour ago, and not a single soul had even passed out the door since.

sure enough, oda stands. he fishes around in his wallet for a crisp bill— another reason why he was your favourite regular, his tips never fell short— and gives you a polite, tight-lipped smile. the mystery boy follows suit. he doesn't spare you a glance, though, not until oda halts at the door as if something's just occurred to him. he turns back to the counter and calls your name. you look up from where you were wiping down some ancient appliances. "everything okay?"

he nods, and his head involuntarily falls to the side inquisitively. "how are you getting home tonight?"

you grimace. "i'm walking."

oda and the mystery boy exchange a look. you presume it's the heavy rain they're concerned about, so you pipe back in: "it's okay, though! i have a spare coat in the back. i think."

the boy gives you another look. like you're an idiot, like he knows something you don't. you'd wonder what was going on, but that was likely above your pay grade.

oda turns back to his companion. you hear them exchange words quietly, quiet enough to be drowned out by the rain still pouring outside. they are discussing far too intensely for it to be just about the rain. at the end of the spirited conversation, oda looks resolved, and the boy looks.. upset? disgruntled? he looks more his age, that's for sure. younger, even, like a petulant child. you would laugh if you weren't so on edge.

something is off. it's like the air in the shop has suddenly grown heavier by a hundred tons. it's suffocating. you are more excited than usual to close early and go home once these two finally make their exit. but then the boy sits back down. you fight the frown growing on your face.

oda is still standing. he takes the umbrella by the door and taps it against the entrance matt. clear flecks of rainwater fall down into the fabric like a small scale version of the downpour outside. he turns back to the boy, and then swivels to face you with a small, polite smile. "thank you for the drink. i hope you don't mind that my friend dazai is staying here for a while to avoid the rain."

you want to die. staying at your place of work for the next few hours until the official closing did not seem like an ideal night. mentally you mourn the night you planned to have when you got home early; goodbye to your cozy blanket, and warm bed, and movie and popcorn. but making coffee isn't that hard and you're basically paid to be nice and stay up late, so you just smile back and say, "no problem! we close at 10, and it'll probably have calmed down by then. probably."

oda nods and walks back out the door. misty meows at his heels, until he's out from under the overhang and gone from sight. faintly, you can see his silhouette blue-lit beneath streetlights, only if you squint. after a few beats, even the shadow of the man is gone.

you slump back down onto the counter, and then slide back up because you'd just cleaned it and now you'd have to do it again. a resigned sigh escapes past your lips, and you look up to see that the boy is looking at you. what was his name again? dazai? you somehow manage a nice-enough smile, looking back into his hollow eyes. he remains expressionless; it unnerves you, like a glass of cold water down your back. awkwardly, you begin, "do you... want anything to drink now? or eat? i'm going to have to throw all these out soon."

his heavy stare leaves you for only a second as you gesture vaguely to the display case of pastries. he looks like he considers it for a second before he smiles and says, "a chocolate croissant seems good!"

it's uncanny, the way the hollows of his eyes misalign with the tone of his voice. he sounds happy. he sounds young. but the way his joy is displayed is strange. it's a mirror. like he's only watched other people be kind and learned to imitate. as if he's pretending to be human. you can't look into his eyes anymore. instead, you turn to warm up the pastry without words.

when you move to bring the pastry to his table, you find dazai surveying the glass door, as if he is mesmerised by the rain still falling in heavy torrents. your plan is, originally, to slide the treat in front of him, smile and say nothing, and speedwalk away back to the counter and pretend to be busy cleaning until the stranger either a), leaves, or b), the rain stops and you can get out of here. however, it seems that misty has other plans. in a motion that you're sure she intends to be a show of affection and not a ploy to humiliate you, she runs in front of your legs and headbutts your ankle, causing you to trip over. you land with a less-than-gracious huff, and barely manage to pull yourself up from your stomach to your knees before you feel dazai's eyes back on you.

there is a small smile on his face, that creases his visible eye. you frown ruefully, and move to rise and apologize for the disruption. but to your surprise, he stands to help you up. his extended hand is slim. he has thin fingers, like wire, and a wrist wrapped in fresh, white bandages that show through his white button-down. his hands are just as cold as they look.

"graceful," he comments as he pulls you up. you purse your lips, choosing to ignore his comment.

"i'm sorry. i'll remake your food."

he considers you for a moment, looking you up and down. suddenly, you feel very seen. in a strange, unfamiliar way. you hope your apron isn't askew or messy. you hope you don't look as frazzled as you feel. why do you hope that?

"no worries!" and thank god he says that, because you truly are not in the mood to be doing much of anything. but you ask the obligatory, 'are you sure?' to which he just says, 'i'm sure,' so the whole conversation was redundant, really. shifting back to behind the counter, you begin to clean out the display case. and you're really finding yourself in a cleaning flow until dazai's voice breaks through your haze. he says your name. you're confused as to how he knows your name, until you realise you wear a nametag, and then you're just a little embarrassed as you reply, "yes?"

"does oda come here often?"

you glance up at him while wiping a shelf with a rag. he's not looking at you, rather staring back out into the rain. misty is approaching his table. she's usually shy; you wonder if she will let him pet her.

"often enough. he's usually here once or twice a week. never usually this late, though."

at your response, you see out of the corner of your eye as dazai shifts to face you, transfixed on the methodical motions of your hands cleansing the mess of the counter. he hums, "really?"

"yeah. he's one of my favourite regulars." and you almost leave it at that but your curiosity gets the better of you, and you ask, "what are you both doing out here at this time, anyways?"

dazai considers you. then he turns back away with a ghost of a smile. "business calls."

you can't help the look that crosses your face. what a tasteless answer. so dramatic. and then, something clicks. you blink. your area was under port mafia protection and recently, a rival group has been posing threats to it. it's never affected you, always in the western district of your area, so you've never really paid it much mind. you blink. so, this boy was affiliated with those groups. either the mafia or the rebels, but you're inclined to believe that it's the former because of his crypticness and the sheer amount of black he wears. (you're honestly a little surprised you didn't clock this sooner. no normal people dress like that.) your neurons are firing at a rapid pace, making connections. so... was oda in the port mafia too? your eye twitches. you have been serving a mafioso black coffee and almond muffins for months without knowing.

when you finally look back at dazai, he's watching you again. there's something like curiosity painting his expression, more than you've seen from the boy since he walked in. you're maybe perhaps a little shellshocked so all you can manage to ask is, "am i in trouble?"

he laughs an echoey, hollow laugh. you're embarrassed but also a little indignant because you think you have a right to know, maybe. "you haven't done anything. as long as i'm here you'll be fine."

your eye twitches again.

"so i am in trouble, then."

dazai frowns. "you have such little faith."

for a split-second you forget that he is a member of the most dangerous organization in all of yokohama and not just a boy your age, as you retort, "it's hard to have trust when the person left in charge of my safety looks like he weighs the same as my cat."

misty meows as if she understands you. dazai blinks. you blink back, before adding a tasteful, albeit a little uncomfortable, "with all due respect. sir."

and he smiles. it's a familiar one. faint smile lines appear, his left cheek creases deeply enough to dimple. it's a real, earnest smile. he looks young and alive like the boys at your school. he's cute, almost. you can't help but smile back, just a little. suddenly, you're thinking about his hand again, and how it felt in yours. you turn away with a light exhale and busy yourself with wiping down cases again.

"oda told me that he 'appreciated your sardonicism,'" dazai muses, "and i didn't know what he meant until now."

you turn the sink on and begin to sponge down various mugs. "thank you, i think."

"you're welcome."

menial conversation follows. dazai asks about your work, and you're glad he chose this topic, because really, you could complain about this establishment for hours if someone gave you the opportunity. he listens intently as you talk about your coworkers and manager, the abysmal pay, and the ghastly sanitary standards of the place. to this topic, dazai glances around and questions you.

"maybe you're a hypochondriac," he says, "it looks clean enough to me."

you stare at him, hands still in the sink, covered in suds. you blink. was he blind?

you're about to respond, when the door opens. you glance at the clock; 9:48. twelve minutes before closing. you're about to try and muster up the last of your energy to be the best barista you can be before dazai speaks first. "oda. you're back early."

thank god it's oda. you look up to see misty run to him purring, as he puts his umbrella down. "we finished up the..." he glances carefully up to you, "business early."

dazai waves a hand dismissively. "they know."

oda raises his eyebrows and looks at you. "you do?"

"i do," you affirm, "you keep less-than-subtle company."

"hey!"

you and oda both ignore dazai. the taller man addresses you instead, "then you should know that it's safe to go out for tonight. and the rain is stopping, too."

you exhale. it'd been easy to ignore how stressed you were about the 'dangerous situation' that you'd been told nothing about happening right outside your place of work. and then, it clicks; dazai was distracting you from all that on purpose with his torrent of questions. you look back at him. he simply smiles.

oda speaks again. "i'll be back tomorrow morning to check on things. get home safe."

turning to dazai, he states, "the car is waiting outside. take the umbrella."

his departure leaves three people in the shop, like it's been for the past hour; you, dazai, and misty the cat. so, two people, you guess. and you can't help the twinge of sorrow that makes itself known inside your chest at the fact that this may be the first and last night that you see him. the only thing you can say is, "it was nice to meet you, dazai."

he stands. misty makes a cat noise. he meets your eyes and there is something less than hollowness there. his smile seems more real than before.

"you'll see me again," he almost promises, as if he could read your mind.

"good," is all you have time to reply, before he is out the door. you bite the inside of your cheek to restrain the grin that is breaking out from across your face, "good."

flowers chosen: pink camellia & forget-me-not . . longing for you & don't forget me

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[carrotkicks]

HI!! I’m the original anon that asked abt the bsd fnaf au and!!! Oh my god it’s so interesting!!! I love your choices for the characters… especially Yosano as the puppet and dazai as Michael afton it fits both of their characters so well and just !!!!

YEah so Dazai was definitely the original reason I started thinking about this au. Firstly to give him unnecessary trauma, but also I think Dazai being in a hero/protagonist role is far more interesting than him being the mastermind to the plans. Need more of Dazai getting rough and dirty. Actively grabbing the plot by the reins. I'm tired of how he gets used by asagiri. I NEED HIM TO FAIL.

So firstly, Michael is a really cool character (for such a barely present one) because he's simultaneously a bad guy but also a person trying to do good, and definitely not a hero. It fits well with Dazai's premise. Alternatively I think Michael being a zombie, a ghost possessing his own corpse, would be an interesting concept to apply onto Dazai. Dazai who believe he's No Longer Human, and craves death because he doesn't want to exist, because living is painful. Now in this au Dazai actually died, but he didn't stop existing. He should be dead and gone but he isn't, he survived, but he's still undead and decaying. He is literally no longer human but now he longs to be human. Life was painful but death is Excruciating, and Dazai never liked pain.

I also think the dynamic between Dazai and Q is far more darker twisted than whatever Mike and Crying Child had (considering Q said Dazai was the reason of their suffering, and Daz seems to genuinely detest Q). But if you recontext them into a normal sibling dynamic, it really could end with Dazai accidently killing Q.

Anyways misc things about fnaf!Dazai: I think the timeline would be: 14 during 1983, 16 in 1985, 17 when Elise dies, 18 in 1987 (in order to get an overnight security job), between 18-22 for Sister Location when he dies, and 24 for Fnaf 1 in 1992. All the dead kids have a personal connection to Dazai in a way, which is why he continues on with his mission. Shortly after Elise's death, Dazai learns about Mori's crimes and tries to get Fukuzawa to help him take him down, but Fukuzawa refuses, so for majority of the story, Dazai is on his own, until he finally reconciles with Golden Feddy (aka ghost Q and Aku) and they team up.

here's him. He usually has a security uniform jacket on but I wanted to make it known that he still does the bandages. He wears a wig and illusion disks(lmao. if you know, you know) to look a little more human. And Dazai never wore bandages except for his arms before he died, and he always covered the bandages with his sleeves. After being scooped, Dazai wears bandages more to hold his body together. He has a lot of exposed leftover wires from Ennard and a lot of torn up patches of skin. He also has the hollow possessed eyes like the other ghosts.

Onto Yosano as the Puppet! I don't have as much to say because I thought this was a relatively obvious decision. Mori's first victim. Her healing powers can fit in a way to the Puppets life/possession giving powers. She's Fukuzawa's daughter in this universe. she's 11 when she dies.

Here's her Ghost Form :)

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Kenji Miyazawa (self-aware)

Self-Aware! Kenji Miyazawa x GN!Reader

Warning: Platonic Yandere. OOC. English is my second language.

Becoming self-aware

🐄 When he realized, that his life wasn't real, Kenji hurries to the ADA office. He was confused and scared. Scared for his friends.

🐄 Kenji is a simple, cheerful and easygoing boy. And he loves his friends. Right now he must make sure they are safe.

🐄 Kenji finds his friends in the ADA office. No one knows what was happening.

🐄 Despite been scared, despite understanding, that his village and parents doesn't exist anymore, Kenji focused on helping his friends. He still has superhuman strength, it will come in handy.

🐄 Kenji helped to move Katai's belongings to ADA building. He helped with cleaning up the storage on the fifth floor. He helped with arranging sleeping places on third and fifth floor.

🐄 Kenji helped with bringing food supplies to the agency.

🐄 Kenji tried his best to help his friends.

🐄 And then, one day, he felt an entity's gaze on him.

____________________________________

Kenji wasn't angry at the entity. He believes, that if it was malicious, it would already attack them. But it was simply watching. Kenji thought, that, maybe, the entity was a little ghost that were lost and got curious, so they decide to stick around.

Then Atsushi was asking if they feel entity's presence. Before Kenji can answer, Kunikida and President Fukuzawa answer before him. While Kunikida's answer was short, President Fukuzawa also noticed, that the entity feel like something from out of this world. Later, Katai adds to this, that it feels like entity were looking at them behind the screen.

Kenji still thought, that you were harmless. He believes that you have nothing to do with this bizarre situation.

And then time resets.

And Kenji, once again, in the warehouse, where Dazai proclaim he wants to make Atsushi a part of ADA. Both Dazai and Atsushi looked peaceful.

__________________________________

When they start feeling your presence

🐄 Kenji was a little bit taken aback by time reset. But, it seems, his friends start feeling better. Atsushi was calm again, Dazai looked happier, Tanizaki siblings looked better.

🐄 Kenji still feel your presence. But still, he wasn't scared of you.

🐄 They don't have a proof that empty streets of Yokohama and current madness is your fault.

🐄 During Black Lizards' attack on ADA office, Kenji heard the voice.

"Kenji [||||||||] strong. He looked [|||||||||||||||] ray of sunshine"

🐄 After your words, Kenji feels like he was, once again, in his village on a warm and sunny day.

🐄 Kenji smiles. He knew that you are a good entity.

🐄 Soon Kunikida looks as confident as usual. He was talking about the entity with warmth in his voice.

🐄 Then Ranpo finished his investigation. And Yosano stop been always on edge.

"I finished the investigation. It seems, that our entity is a simple human. Like we are. They don't have ability. There are no abilities in their world. And they have no idea, that we can hear them."

🐄 Kenji was glad, that he was right and you aren't bad. But he wished, he hears your voice again.

🐄 And then, Atsushi and Kenji were investigating a car explosion.

_______________________________________

"Whether in a town or a village, whether toward a cow or a person… If you're sincere toward others, they'll respond in kind. That approach has yet to fail me."

Kenji heard the voice.

"sunshine boy" "adorable" "so kind"

"Kenji, I wish there were more people like you. Everyone need more kindness in their lives. I wish I have someone like you in my life."

Kenji feels like someone pet his hair.

[*In reality, you pet manga panel with Kenji on it.*]

_______________________________________

🐄 Kenji will think that it will be nice to see you in person. To become friends with you.

🐄 When President Fukuzawa and Boss Mori proclaim, that Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia will work together to find a way out of this world, Kenji will do his best to help everyone. He wanted to go to your world. To see the nature. To see you.

And then, one day, the purple moon shined above Yokohama.

When you installed BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan

🐄 Kenji's cards will have the highest attack.

"Go, Kenji, go! Let's clear this stage!"

"Your card skill works so good with Chuuya's"

"Kenji's Rainy Season card is so beautiful"

🐄 When BSD gang will gain access to the rest of your phone, Kenji (with Katai's help) will browse the Internet, looking at photos of nature and villages.

🐄 Kenji (with Katai's help) will recommend you videos about nature.

🐄 If you like watching documentaries, Kenji will accompany you.

🐄 Kenji is planning to create a small farm when they reach your world. So you can eat natural products.

🐄 He wants you to be healthy. You are his (future) friend. You are a human being. You deserve kindness.

_______________________________________

You finish watching a video about lotus flowers. It was beautiful and interesting.

You saw a notification from BSD Mayoi. You got another note in your Gift Box. A note from Kenji with some evolution materials attached to it.

"[Y/N], please, don't forget to go for a walk today. Get some sunlight. And don't forget to smile. Kenji Miyazawa"

You smile and, while getting ready for a walk, choose Kenji's card and pet his chibi sprite.

"Thanks for the advice, Kenji. I will go for a walk. And, of course, I will smile."

You didn't notice that Kenji's eyes light up.

[bandaged-writer]

𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 || 𝗗𝗔𝗭𝗔𝗜 𝗢𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗨

pairing. dazai osamu x f! reader

genre. drabble, suggestive, friends to lovers-ish

warnings. groping, lots of touching, mentions of dazai's womanizing habits

words. 800

summary. these things feel better, because he understands you.

note. highly self-indulgent bc dazai brainrot goes brr. inspired by that one scene between makima and denji btw shsgdgd

"It's horrible! I just can't seem to woo any woman, anymore, [Name]!," Dazai whines with his back slouched over his desk. Paperwork is skillfully ignored by his non-existent work ethics, but at least the sunset dips his face in pretty orange hues and paints a handsome face that you can't help but look at.

You hum. "And how is that my concern, Dazai?," you question while your fingers cease dancing across the keyboard of the laptop and shut the device.

"You're my best friend!," the brunette reasons much like a child would and his words drown out the ghost of your chuckle. "And that's why it's your job to listen to my agonizing troubles!"

You don't recall any clause in your contract that tied you to said commitment to Dazai, but it's exactly that relationship that allows you to understand him on a level that goes deeper than the many masks he wears on a daily basis. Although you can't hope to beat Dazai at a game of chess, you know why his love life is as disappointing as it currently is.

He can refuse it all he wants, but there's no way you can't tell. Hazel eyes linger on your form for a beat too long, hands that are always on some part of your body even if they caused nothing but the usual mischief and the pang of jealousy shooting across his face whenever you'd give Ranpo or Tanizaki your dedicated attention. Dazai isn't as mysterious as he'd like to believe, but you also know that he would never confess his feelings.

At least, not yet.

You push your chair back, trut around the office desks until you stand in front of Dazai who watches you with feline eyes. He awaits your next move, anticipates the string of words that could only ever fall from your smart, but oh-so-sweet mouth.

No, he shouldn't think about how sweet your mouth would taste when you're his friend.

"I have once heard that these types of things feel better when you understand the person in front of you," you say with a charming smile upon your lips and reach for Dazai's wrist. Guiding his palm to your cheek, you nuzzle the warm skin and press a subtle kiss to the middle. He watches you with keen hazel eyes, but you don't miss the way his Adam's apple bobs in his throat.

"Tell me. Are my lips chapped or soft? What does my skin feel like? Are my fingers long or short? Does it tickle? Does your touch make me nervous?" All those questions you fling at Dazai's head remain unanswered, but you don't want any either. What you truly desire is for his focus to be dedicated solely to you and you can see it in his eyes that the gears in his head are spinning.

Dazai is awestruck by the way you wrap your lips around his thumb and bite down on it. Pain is as far away as the limits of the sky, yet he can feel them pressing into his skin and saliva dampening the calloused skin; calloused from holding guns, knives and all those burdens life brings along. The little gulp of your throat, the shimmer in your eyes. Everything that usually slips Dazai's attentive gaze now held his attention and he doesn't think he can ever forget the way he takes his thumb out of your mouth and wipes it across your bottom lip.

"It feels good, doesn't it?," you ask and stand in-between his legs.

Dazai nods his head. "It does."

Slowly, you tilt your head to the side with the same calm smile and bring his hand to your breast. Dazai squeezes the flesh underneath his sweaty palm and gulps down the confusing feelings in his throat. He's blinking more often, his heart pounds behind his sternum.

He can't understand what is happening to him. Countless women had found their way into his bed and underneath his sheets only to fade in the morning like the temporary bliss of obtaining something of materialistic value. Dazai is no stranger to his fingers in someone's mouth, his hands on their body, but he never once took the time to map them out. Whether the skin had scars, whether it was warm or cold, whether he genuinely enjoyed getting all touchy-feely like this.

"..You're going to be the death of me," Dazai rasps out and pulls his hand away from your boob.

You lean in, pop into his personal bubble and look at him with eyes that clearly, obviously yearn for him, but he is still so very distant. So very much out of your reach.

"Do you understand now? The reason why you feel so cold in a warm bed is because you don't understand them."

[emilover-1]

Why Mori indirectly killed Oda + Why he led Dazai out of the pm

A very short analysis

Killing Oda was the most logical solution, it was; to kill a lower member or to kill more pm members that possibly were higher rank, it didn’t make sense, and even Dazai in the light novel dark era recognized it:

Dazai glances at the at the muzzle still pointed at his face, following which, he turns back towards the center of the room, standing right in front of Ougai, quietly speaking. “I’ve been thinking. Between the mafia, Mimic, and the Black Special Ops Forces, who is the one manipulating these three organizations? When I realized Ango was a member of the Special Ability Department, I reached a conclusion. That conclusion was that this is the Special Ability Department’s plan. Their motive was to let the mafia and Mimic, two illegal organizations causing the government a headache, to kill each other off. If they were lucky, they would both perish together – I thought this was a playbook written by the Special Ability Department, that this was the real reason behind this war. But I was wrong.” Dazai pauses after these words, looking at Ougai. Ougai smiles, shrugging his shoulders, “I’m listening.” “The person who painted this picture was you, Boss. Using the illegal organization Mimic as a threat, you pulled the Special Ability Department onto the negotiation table. And the pawn in the center of this plan was Ango.” Dazai speaks with half lidded eyes. “Boss, the reason you sent Ango to infiltrate Mimic’s ranks was not to obtain information on Mimic. Because you knew that Ango was a spy from the Special Ability Department from the very beginning. Am I right?” Ougai does not affirm or refute this, only saying, “Huh.” “If you think about it that way, the meaning behind several truths will change accordingly. At the same time Ango passed us insider information on Mimic, he had to pass that information on to the Special Ability Department as well. They are undead ghosts that will not listen to negotiations or compromises, only seeking a battlefield. Such danger cannot be compared to the mafia. If this went on any further, conflict would break out between them and the government agencies. This is what the Special Ability Department thought. The next thing they thought of was to fan the flames of war between Mimic and the Port Mafia, manipulating matters by leaking information to Mimic through Ango. As long as Mimic bites the hook, the mafia has no reason not to fight back. Based on this line of thinking, they instructed Ango to engage in combat – all according to your plan.” “You’re overestimating me, but it’ll still be troublesome for me.” Ougai smiles. “To the mafia, the government agencies are also a demon-like existence, an opponent that cannot be manipulated easily.” “That is why you would come up with such a large scale plan – Because the value of that envelope is worth all that effort.” Dazai points to the black premium envelope beside Mori’s hand.

pages 125 and 126 of the light novel

By what they talk about, its pretty obvious that Dazai recognized it was a logical solution, yet he had got very attached, Dazai has little to no problems in using people, but the problem was that Dazai had got too attached with Oda. Not to mention that getting the envelope was beneficial to the port mafia, it was like getting rid of two birds with a stone or however it is said, and as I've said a lot of times, Mori goes to the option that benefits everyone in Yokohama or at least to the pm.

He is called "The one who fell to the optimal solution" isn't he?

next topic:

Why Mori led Dazai out of the pm

This is more of what I believe but I still wanted to include it

Mori led Dazai out of the pm because of two reasons:

He was afraid Dazai would aspire to take his position as a boss

He wanted Dazai to learn a lesson

It's mentioned that he is afraid of Dazai so we aren't going to talk about this topic right now, but about the lesson topic; Mori wanted Dazai to become more like him in case Dazai were to take the boss position, but Mori didn't thought that Dazai had grown that attached to Oda, and while Dazai did recognize that killing Oda was the most logical solution, he didn't like it, he would have preferred that more members had lost their lives than Oda losing his, and therefore to Mori; Dazai didn't want to learn the lesson.

Thank you for reading

I got the quotes (if it can be considered that) from this pdf, i hope you enjoyed my analysis! its very short but what can we do

[kunikidas-lost-glasses]

I don't know why but these little random things the BSD characters officially like makes them so much more human to me.

For example, Sigma likes cookies, Chuuya likes good music, Dazai likes canned crab, Mushitaro is interested in occult stuff, Akutagawa likes tea and figs, Atsushi likes chameleons, Lucy likes chatting, day dreaming and stuffed toys, Nikolai likes piroshki, Q likes dark sugar, Kyouka likes ghosts, Kunikida likes fishing, Shibusawa likes to sew clothes, Fyodor seemingly enjoyes to play with Shibusawa's hair and to braid it, etc. etc.

It makes them so much more human and gives them more personality somehow. No matter if they are dark and twisted characters like Shibusawa, Fyodor or Nikolai. These informations aren't even important in any way for the plot but them existing gives the characters a special something. I don't know how to explain it properly. It makes the character more believable. Also it has something adorable sometimes.

[faux-ee]

A Theory about Abilities in BSD, and why Fyodor wants to rid the world of Ability users

Originally, I want to delay making this post until I finish reading irl Dostoevsky’s Demons, because I personally find a lot of parallels between BSD’s Fyodor & Nikolai and Pyotr & Stavrogin in Demons, and I truly wish to elaborate on that. However, I just finished the 2014 TV Show Demons and let’s just say I’m moved to the core and nothing except writing about BSD Fyodor could give me peace. I will still be discussing briefly the connection between BSD fyolai & Demons characters in this post, but that discussion wouldn’t be so detailed because I tragically haven’t finished the book yet. 

Sorry I’ve rambled a lot. Anyways, here we go. 

In addition to the theory that Ability symbolizes trauma response, I want to speculate that Ability also translates one’s negative perception of themself into physical existence. In fact, in irl Atsushi’s work, the Tiger is none but a representation of the self, plagued by vanity and inferiority, that a person has to fight in order to not hurt people around them. Dazai’s ability No Longer Human is portrayed in the 15 manga as a hollow, dark being that only wears his skeleton — that is what dark era Dazai see himself as: non-human, empty, a walking ghost. Sigma believes that he is used as a tool by different ppl, so his Ability was information exchange — a tool for procuring info. 

I can list out much more, but basically, I think Ability is an outward manifestation of how BSD characters pessimistically perceive themselves (that’s why Ranpo doesn’t have an ability: he’s confident and in many aspects a child having not yet lost his innocence, protected and loved by Fukuzawa and the ADA). Or rather, the sad, violent, unpredictable self other ppl told them to be. Like Kyouka, who was told that her Ability made her a natural killer. This is why Ability is a pain: it’s the dark side of oneself; it makes Ability users believe that what makes them powerful, useful to other ppl, is this Self that wallows in existential despair, in its own insufficiency, and in the guilt of causing death. 

In Dead Apple, our main characters have to fight their own Abilities to achieve growth. In the ADA, Fukuzawa’s Ability keeps all other Abilities under control, creating an ideal environment for ADA members to grow into the better version of themselves. All of these point out Abilities to be trouble rather than strength. 

And Fyodor sees that. He sees that for people, Ability represents a past and ongoing pain. No, I’m not trying to justify his cause by presenting him as an all-knowing being. I’m referring to his uncanny ability of seeing into the heart of people’s struggle — his empathy with Sigma, Goncharov, Gogol and even Karma attested to that. And he thinks the only salvation from such darkness is Death. 

We already know that Crime and Punishment doesn’t prevent Fyodor from touching ppl, which means he has no reason to hate his own ability to the point of wanting to eradicate it. It is actually just the opposite case. In Dead Apple, Fyodor declared that he himself is the embodiment of both crime and punishment, which are a pair of good friends. He has made peace with the dark version of himself, has accepted his Ability as part of the truth of what he is. Inseparable with his existence. This is why he wants to kill ability users, rather than simply writing away Ability (if that is the purpose he can come up with a convincing story on that one page he already has): his Ability is inevitably linked with his existence; therefore he thinks the only way to take away this twisted, suffering side of oneself is to end their lives. 

Now, the second question is that, are Abilities an entirely bad thing? Like everything in BSD, it isn’t a black-and-white matter. We have seen many times our Stray Dogs use their Abilities to protect themselves, and the people they care about. We have to accept that there’s a side of us that feel insecure and unhappy from things we experienced, but this is also the side that help us sympathize & establish in-depth connections with people who are also suffering (see Lucy, Atsushi and Kyouka; Akutagawa and Atsushi; even Teruko’s understanding of Fukuchi may be a result of that). 

One of Fyodor’s traits that contributed to his extremism personality is that he doesn’t, or rather refuses to, connect with people. He sees people as mindless chess pieces who live under the lies they tell themselves, easy to manipulate once you grant them the fulfillment of their desires. See? On the surface level he’s on better terms with his Ability — his dark side — than anyone else, and thats why he seems to understand the desires and conflicts in everyone he comes across. But in truth, Crime and Punishment stood with their backs to each other; what seems as reconciliation is actually Fyodor refusing to come face to face with himself. He exalts his pain. He celebrates non-existence. He attributes all his actions to the god — yet as we can see in the two-page spread before his confrontation with Ace, “if god doesn’t exist, then I am god”. He turns his back on his human self, and instead chooses to obsess with the image of a god that is actually how others perceive him to be: the bringer of fear and death, murderer of children, dangerous force of destruction. He takes it in and flips it around, worshipping his darkness, his human suffering, as a source of power. 

I’m not saying, however, that Fyodor feels any pain or guilt I have implied here. He is not taking his revenge on the world because he is pained inside, no, let’s not go into that YA dark haired emo boy stereotype. Instead, he is wreaking havoc in the world precisely because he cannot feel this pain. Next will be some spoilers on Demons: one of the main characters, Stavrogin, confessed to a priest about causing a child’s death (won’t go into the nasty details; I’m still shaking from that), and yet he didn’t do it out of guilt — he did it because he wanted to feel proud and noble again, exposing his own sin to let others punish him with their malice, since he didn’t make an effort to repent and couldn’t forgive himself. Stavrogin doesn’t want to move on and trust his own ability to become a better person; instead, he tries to set the whole world against himself, in order to keep avoiding confronting his own conscience and continue to adhere to the false belief of his righteousness. [Spoiler Ends]

This might be a little confusing, but in simpler words, it’s similar to what Fyodor is doing: he doesn’t feel guilty for killing ppl; he hardly feels anything at all. He is a psychopath beyond redemption, that is what others see him as and what he willingly believes. He is excluded from the human world, he has fused himself with his Ability, turning himself wholly into an unfeeling, murderous monster. He forces himself to believe he is doing the right thing in destroying the world because he’s a coward. (Remember that Fyodor is supposed to be a foil of Dazai, and in No Longer Human Dazai calls himself a coward who’s afraid of happiness?) If he steps back and looks at what he did, all the children he killed, he would be forced to feel guilty, which he fears; so he frees himself of his humanity as well as his conscience to avoid accounting for his own darkness. He views the rest of the world as a sin because he doesn’t want to see himself as a sinner. 

OK let’s talk a little about Gogol here then because I’m fyolai trash: “In opposition to god, you’re fighting to lose sight of yourself” what does this mean? 

This is not actually a very accurate translation. The direct translation from Japanese should be: you are fighting to oppose god and lose sight of yourself. This line also kind of implies Gogol being associated with the military, since the word used for “fighting” here is heavily implied to be war-related. [Spoiler Again] Now, in Demons there is literally a character that resembles Gogol in every way: Pyotr Stepanovich is greatly fascinated with putting on an act, is a master of faking different, often ridiculous personalities to achieve his goal, and he is raising hell all over because he wants to uproot all previously established social systems, calling for a revolution that leads people into decadence and depravation. (AND he even also places the blame of somebody’s murder on an innocent person - while Pyotr is the murderer - as part of the plan!) [Spoiler Ends] This character in Demons is abandoned by his father, so he was always plagued with the belief that he was born wrong, and when his father sought him out only to exploit him further, he lost all belief in god and believed that chaos was the only answer to his empty, unloved existence. This shall provide an answer as to why Gogol thinks human feelings is a thing he ought to transcend: for some reasons his humanity might have been exploited to put him under the control of someone else. Even the person he’s closest with, Fyodor, sees him as a chess piece and he is well aware of that. AND the most deadly thing is that he is comfortable in this relationship because he is used to not receiving anyone’s good will. 

Gogol is many things, but perhaps the one thing that draws him constantly to his demise is the fact that he is unloved. He wants to free himself from humanity for an entirely different reason: he feels the constant need to prove that it’s the world that’s wrong, that what he sees is the truth - his actions are controlled, he is trapped by human feelings that never get acknowledged or responded, and these morals/feelings give people power to walk all over him, to use him as a tool. His Ability, which connects spaces, means that his dark side is exactly this need to escape deterred by his fear of being forever trapped by his own limitations. 

If I were to put this in a more religious light, since we’re talking about god and russians here, I would quote something from Nietzsche: The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions. To want god’s love is to give yourself nonexistent sins for Him to forgive — this self-assigned sin is what controlled one’s actions, made one feel guilty. The futile outcry for love, and specifically for god’s love and forgiveness, is what makes people crazy and absurd in Nietzsche’s view. Gogol is sane, and is trying desperately to convince himself that he is so, by seeing through the lie that is called love. He denies himself faith and love in exchange for full control over himself. Why pursue something that he has only known to chain him down? Fyodor understands him, and plays along with his jokes, his games; he isn’t afraid of Fyodor’s understanding, no. He is afraid that he will grow to love his dear friend more until he is consumed by this human lie and forgets how much of a danger it is to his freedom. He trembles in his adoration of the man-god.

I have earlier put out a crack theory that Gogol is a foil of Chuuya. However, in this context, Gogol truly is similar to Chuuya seeing how they are constantly being used by other people, Gogol in a more literal sense since even his speech was pre-written; Chuuya allows himself to forgive and forget, and carry on with life focusing on the present, while Gogol becomes haunted by his hyperawareness of his situation and inability to be free. Neither of these attitudes are healthy and I say it’s no coincidence Asagiri decided to put Dazai, Fyodor, Chuuya, Nikolai and Sigma in the same arc. I look forward to everyone figuring out their problems with equally mentally ill enemies in prison. 

[bungobble-my-balls]

What if Fyodor possessed Sigma wouldn't that be crazy hahah

So with the Jesus allegory from the last episode he doesn't get completely reincarnated, but a copy of himself is made within Sigma from the information transfer, and it's almost like he's reincarnated.

OK hear me out

I don't think this is actually what's going to happen with the anime, but I DO think this plot is plausible enough that it could happen in one of bsd's many canon alternate timelines.

So you know how Fyodor did the whole 'help me I'm innocent and the real Fyodor has taken over my body 🥺' stchick to trick Sigma? OK so in this scenario let's say that's actually foreshadowing.

Fyodor's ability, although I'm not exactly sure what it is, based on theories seems to involve him being able to make another version of himself. Some people even believe he can put a version of himself inside of someone to kill them from the inside (I don't have the exact reasoning but there are theories just go with it).

After Sigma uses his ability on Fyodor to gain EVERY one of Fyodor's secrets and everything about him, he passes out from information overload as we know. What if in this coma state, Sigma and Fyodor's abilities are combining (Sigma gaining all of Fyodor's knowledge, Fyodor putting a version of himself inside of Sigma), and this creates a version of Fyodor created just from the knowledge Sigma gained of him. This version takes over the body, and when 'Sigma' wakes up its actually a new version of Fyodor (especially because Fyodor would be made of more knowledge than Sigma considering their lifespans, so Fyodor's consciousness could be more powerful).

So it's not like a ghost possession situation, it's an ability possession similar to what happened with Shibusawa.

So 'Sigma' walks out of Mersault, maybe during whatever chaos happens in the 2 hours, and sees Nikolai still holding the original Fyodor's arm.

Nikolai is shocked to see Sigma alive and awake, but then soon finds out that it's actually Fyodor (or a copy of him) in Sigma's body. Fyodor doesn't know about any events that happened before the information transfer, so he doesn't know about Dazai getting shot, Chuuya and Dazai's plan, or his original self dying. So Nikolai fills him in on that.

At that point, Fyodor realises he'll need to stay underground again for some time before he can get back at Dazai and continue his mission. It's helpful though that everyone believes he's dead and that he looks different, since people won't be looking for him.

So Fyodor and Nikolai go underground together this time, because with the DOA now in shambles Nikolai is Fyodor's only ally. And Sigma is currently trapped in his body, but in a limbo between consciousness and unconsciousness. His own conscious is in his body being relayed information over and over to keep him in an overloaded state.

Also for this AU Fyolai are still repressed homosexuals (Nikolai a little less after his post Fyodor death speech but still repressed enough), because even if I'm putting Sigma through a body possession plot I'm not gonna have his body be in the middle of Fyolai kissing I wouldn't do that to him.

Fyodor intends to find a way to get a body for himself, and they bring along Fyodor's arm and find a way to attach it to him again as a start (I thought about a Mary Shelley character having an ability to do this, but I forgot she already exists so I'm still thinking about how they'd do this).

I can also imagine Fyodor using Sigma's appearance to fuck with Dazai as a part of his plan later on. Maybe he takes more of his acting classes and even pretends to be Sigma at some point in the future.

[little-coffins4]

So, from what I've been seeing the "you can't like The Grabber!" and "you can't find The Grabber hot!" crowd is growing louder and more vocal, effectively drowning others out. It's still something I find weird, though I'm not unfamiliar with these people's thought process-- I've seen it in many different fandoms, unfortunately.

In the end, The Grabber is not real. None of this is real, and someone's tastes I'm fictional media hold no bearing on who the are as an individual. If you like Jason Vorhees as a character, does that mean you like, glorify or condone child murder? Most of his victims are teens working as counselors, so surely these people would carry the same attitude. Does Ghost Face making you all hot and bothered mean you support murder and follow the ideology of the character? Does liking literally ANY morally grey or villainous character mean this characters personality and actions reflect on you? Obviously not, and not only is it stupid to believe so, but it's also incredibly naive!

The most favoured characters in media tend to be villains, or at least morally grey. To throw out a couple of examples: Chuuya Nakahara and Dazai Osamu from Bungo Stray Dogs, Scaramouche and Childe from Genshin Impact, any Creepypasta character ever, Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street, Makima from Chainsaw Man, Shigaraki Tomura and Kai Chisaki from My Hero Academia, and many more!

Let people like characters who you don't like! If you don't want to see content pertaining to that character, block or mute the tag, or hell, even the person! Women writing fanfics of them engaging in weird, kinky sex with a fictional murderer is neither new nor something that should bother you that much. Block them, ignore them. Don't expect the internet to conform to YOUR ideals and YOUR likes, because you aren't the main fucking character of the universe. It's a very, very entitled attitude to have, and it is extremely prevalent in younger fandom members! Sure, it existed in early fandom days, but it didn't manifest itself in this weird moral posturing that often.

Let people have fun, and don't be such a wet blanket!

Man, just needed to say that. It reminds me a lot of the attitude these same kids have towards art with even slightly dark content... it really drives me nuts, tbh.

[tricoloured-cat]

Happy Birthday Kunikida! As a tribute I decided to read (well, more finish) "Meat and Potatoes" by... Kunikida-sensei HAHA but as I was reading I noticed similarities between that short story and BSD Kunikida's life

parallels between BSD Kunikida and Meat and Potatoes

warning: major spoilers for Meat and Potatoes, the first LN, as well as the manga! also for this essay thing I shall ignore the existence of the anime adaptation of the Azure Messenger (also not proofread too lazy)

Note: Some of these points have been made by others, but here I just want to emphasize these things in the context of Meat and Potatoes.

"But the point is, you can't ideals," said Kamimura, screwing up his face. "Ha ha. Of course you can't. They're not beefsteaks!" laughed Takeuchi, opening his huge mouth. "But that's exactly it. Reality is a beefsteak. Or stew if you like."

As the title of the story suggests, meat and potatoes are compared to reality and ideals. In fact meat can go farther than just reality; it's an implicit description to the hedonistic life.

In the franchise, it can be said that Dazai is very much Team Meat rather than Team Potato. He does as he pleases and wrecks the world of the then highly rigid member of Team Potato, Kunikida.

This was the third day of being paired with Dazai. I knew no peace for even an hour, nor could I focus wholeheartedly on work, and the number of complaints pouring in on the phone continued to climb higher. Whenever I took my eyes off of him, he would say he was going to drown himself and then fling himself into a river, or say to be careful and then go off to drink at a bar, or say he received a divine revelation and run off to flirt with a pretty girl. Quite fittingly for a twenty- year-old man-child, he only did what suited himself and smashed my schedule to bits.

Kunikida's sanity has been compromised since then, yes, but Dazai's erratic personality doesn't deter him from his determination to follow his ideal.

In Meat and Potatoes, there are two major disillusioned idealists: Kamimura and Okamoto.

Kamimura's transfer from Team Potato to Team Meat is, I suppose you could say hardly significant. He switches with a "oh to hell with it" attitude and abandons the ascetic potato-only life for meat-filled enjoyment. Why is it so? Simply put, his desire to be in Team Potato was never serious. His fascination with his Christian faith and scorn for the "fools in Tokyo" were what drove him to his rural potato-farm life in Hokkaido.

"Kamimura and the rest of you were members of the Potato Party at first, but later changed your allegiance to the Meat Party. In other words, you're all weak-willed."

Kondo's words, I believe, mirror Kunikida's initial thoughts of Dazai. I'm not so weak as to give in to someone like him!

On the other hand, Okamoto's disillusionment - but not transfer to Team Meat - was far more serious. This is where Kunikida's own disillusionment can be linked to.

It was the death of the woman Okamoto loved that made him curse the very world he lives in. The intensity of his love had made its loss so great. In Kondo's words,

"[Men] often weary of life and if they encounter love in such a state, they find in it a means of escape. For that reason they throw their whole hearty into the fiery furnace of love."

Okamoto does not rebuke nor confirm this, but we can assume that Kondo hit the nail on the head.

Kunikida, too, loved a woman deeply: Sasaki Nobuko. Now the parallels isn't too surprising since both stories are based on Kunikida-sensei's real life heartbreak with his wife of the same name. Fortunately she didn't actually die (she just left him 5 months into their marriage) but the pain is so immense that her memory is essentially a ghost haunting the three of them.

"I want to have her back again and so intensely do I feel about that that I don't care what happens to me. I freely admit that I've cried over her many times. Over and over again I've called her name and looked up at the sky. Of course I wish that she would come back to life."

This resounds their feelings for their woman so well. Their hopes and dreams were built for and shattered by her - for Okamoto, this was his fall into indecision. He is not Team Meat nor Team Potato. He is not a realist nor an idealist. He is not a optimist nor pessimist. He's just a broken man.

In fact, Dazai alludes to this fall after Sasaki's death.

“Tell me, Dazai! Was it right for her to die? Is this the ideal world I’ve sought for...?” Dazai stared at me and whispered, “Kunikida. There are those who believe in your just, ideal world, and thus they grow to resent this one. The Azure King was one such person. While championing his causes of justice and idealism, he hurt the weak around him.” He looked far off into the distance. “The phrase ‘seeking justice’ is a weapon. Once it hurts the weak, it can no longer be a force of good. This justice the Azure King sought was what killed Sasaki. His accusation wounded me. Seeking a world of justice and ideals, indeed. All this suffering had come to pass by seeking to manifest ideals. “Kunikida, as long as you continue to eliminate those who would thwart your ideals in your quest for the ideal world, the flame of the Azure King still burns inside of you. And it will consume those around you. I have seen this happen many times before.”

There is no "but I'll still pursue my ideal!" in the original text. Kunikida said nothing in reply for he "understood what he said."

Now by the time Atsushi popped up, not much is shown about how exactly far Kunikida's disillusionment had gone. When he was picked up Kunikida proudly states that his schedule was "not just a schedule but his ideal" and from then we are given an impression of his drive.

We are only shown the truth starting with Kyouka's case and Atsushi's kidnapping.

There are already discussions on these scenes, but in the context of this essay thing with Meat and Potatoes what I want to point out is Kunikida's disenchantment. Also note that in both scenes, his facial expression is not shown. He only says these things out of defeat while his idealist self screams something else.

At this point, he has not reached Okamoto's level just yet, but it's possible that it won't take long for Kunikida to find himself in the same place.

It is Atsushi that woke him up from his nightmare.

What made that difference?

Atsushi wasn't abandoned by the Agency because of one thing: love. It's the very same thing that killed both Okamoto's and Kunikida's ideals.

But unlike Okamoto, Kunikida's ideals were not only born out of love but are one and the same; then following Kondo's reasoning, Kunikida's love, ideals, and life are all one and the same.

Here is another quote from Kondo:

"There are many types of boredom. Two of these are particularly tragic and hateful. With one, you weary of life and with the other you weary of love... The first is the most tragic and the second the most hateful."

The current manga arc (ch 104 is the latest release at the time of writing this) challenges Kunikida once more. Being a member of the Armed Detective Agency is difficult, and with all the death and near-death recently happening around him his will had taken several critical hits.

Had Kunikida grown weary of his lofty ideals, with means he's weary of both love and life, that his fate is tragic and hateful?

Fortunately, not at all.

He doesn't give up any of the three. "But what about life???" Well, I would say that here he does not lose life but rather his death. Idk how to explain to be honest, but in short it's rather that he sacrifices his physical life for the sake of living; that is not having a spiritual death. He is able to live his whole life following even only the shadow of the ideal - to him that is his goal anyway.

Kunikida overcomes Okamoto's plight of looking for "surprise" in the world as nothing interests him anymore.

"Life and death and all the phenomena of the universe become commonplace in the end."

He does not fall for this interpretation of Wordsworth's "Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting."

We can only hope for the best for him in the upcoming installments.

TL;DR: Kunikida is awesome and needs more love

[anonymousewrites]

There's a Soldier; There's a Savior Chapter Four

Chapter Four: Mall Escapades

            “Whatever your op is, bury it,” order Gogol to the agents standing in front of him. “This is Level One. Contact DOT. All traffic lights in the district go red. Shut all runways at BWI, IAD, and Reagan. All security cameras in the city go through this monitor right here. Scan all open resources, phones, computers, PDAs, whatever. If someone tweets about this guy, I want to know about it.”

            “With all due respect, ADA is conducting manhunt for Agent Arahabaki, a hero renowned world-round.” In the silence, Tachihara spoke up. “We deserve to know why.”

            “Because he lied to us,” said Fukuchi, entering the room. “Agent Arahabaki has information regarding the death of Director Fukuzawa. He refused to share it with us. As difficult as this is to accept, Agent Arahabaki is a fugitive from ADA.”

l

            Pulling his hoodie over his head, Chuuya walked up to the vending machine of the hospital. His eyes widened in alarm as the USB drive, which he had hidden inside behind chocolate, was gone. Someone had taken it.

            In the reflection of the glass, (Y/N) appeared. She met his gaze and calmly finished eating her chocolate. The brand that had been hiding the drive. Chuuya turned and shoved her into an empty room, eyes narrowed and muscles tensed.

            “Where is it?” he hissed.

            “It’s safe,” replied (Y/N) calmly.

            “Tell me where.”

            “How did you get it?” she murmured, trying to read his furious face.

            “Why would I tell you?” he growled.

            She cocked her head. “Fukuzawa gave it you…” deduced (Y/N). “Why?”

            “What’s on it?” demanded Chuuya.

            “I don’t know,” answered (Y/N).

            “Stop lying.” Chuuya held himself back from slamming his head into the wall.

            “I only act like I know everything so people don’t question me,” said (Y/N).

            “I bet you knew Fukuzawa hired the pirates, didn’t you?” hissed Chuuya.

            (Y/N) frowned. “If he did, he must have had a reason. And it does make sense. The ship was dirty, Fukuzawa needed a way in.”

            Chuuya tightened his grip on her. “I’m not going to ask you again.”

            “I know who killed Fukuzawa,” said (Y/N), her voice growing cold. It dampened the flames of his wrath in a moment. “Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe she exists. The ones that do call her the Soldier of Death, the Reaper. She’s rumored to have complete over twenty-four assassinations in the last fifty years.”

            Chuuya scoffed. “A ghost story? That’s what you came up with? You need to stop spending time with Dazai. His craziness is rubbing off.”

            “A few years ago I was escorting an informant to Yokohama,” said (Y/N) somberly. “Someone shot my tires out near the port. We went straight into the water. I managed to pull us to shore. But the Soldier was there. The Reaper shot the informant through me.” She lifted her shirt, showing a scar on her stomach. “All black slug. No rifling. Bye-bye bikinis.”

            “Yeah, I bet Dazai would hate you in them now,” said Chuuya sarcastically.

            (Y/N) sighed. “Going after her is a dead end. I tried to find her, but there is nothing. She’s a shadow among shadows.” She held up the USB drive after finishing her warning.

            Chuuya took it back. “You’re just going to give up, then?”

            (Y/N) smiled. “I didn’t say that, did I? We’re two people with great wills. And where there’s a will; there’s a way.”

l

            The pair walked through the mall calmly. Chuuya still wore his grey hoodie to blend in with the crowd while (Y/N) had a dark green sweater. He had a beanie while she wore glasses to give some level of mask to their faces. They walked into an electronics store and headed to an open computer.

            “The drive has a Level 6 homing program, so as soon as we turn this on, ADA will know exactly where we are,” said (Y/N).

            “How much time?” asked Chuuya.

            “Nine minutes from…” She pushed the drive in. “Now.” (Y/N) examined in the information on the screen. “Fukuzawa was right about that ship. Someone’s hiding something. An AI is protecting the information. It’s rewriting itself to counter my commands.”

            “Can you beat it?”

            “The person who developed it is as smart as me…” (Y/N) smirked. “Just barely, though.” She typed code in quickly. “I’ll try to run a tracer. This is program ADA developed to track hostile malware, so if we can’t read the file…”

            “We can figure out where it came from,” finished Chuuya, nodding in approval.

            “Can I help you guys with anything?” asked a worker suddenly. She had black hair and wore her uniform’s apron overtop her student uniform.

            Thinking quickly, (Y/N) linked her arm with Chuuya. “Oh, no, just looking at honeymoon destinations.”

            “Congratulations! Where are you thinking of going?” chirped the employee.

            Chuuya coughed. “Well, I like Paris, but she’s thinking London.”

            “You like the romantic ambience?”

            “No, the wine.”

            “Ah…” The girl furrowed her brow and looked at him. “You mind me of someone…”

            Shit, I didn’t really act that well…At all… thought Chuuya.

            The employee brightened and smiled. “Oh, yeah! My brother. He has the exact same red hair!”

            Oh, thank god, thought Chuuya.

            “One reason I like him,” said (Y/N), smiling as she worked on the computer.

            How does she act so easily? Chuuya fought to keep a decent smile on his face.

            “Well, if you guys need anyone, just let me know! I’m Naomi,” said the employee, giving a final grin before walking to another customer.

            Chuuya breathed a sight of relief. He glanced at (Y/N). “You said nine minutes. We need to hurry.”

            “Got it,” said (Y/N).

            Chuuya’s eyes widened at the location. Suribachi Base.

            “What is it? Do you know the place?” asked (Y/N).

            “I did once…” Chuuya shook his head. “Let’s just go.” He pulled out the drive, and they walked into the crowd outside the store. He glanced around. “You see any?”

            “Standard team. Two behind, two across, two in front,” murmured (Y/N), glancing about.

            “If they make us, I’ll engage; you’ll take the south escalator to the subway,” said Chuuya.

            (Y/N) sighed. “Put your arm around me and laugh at something I said. Keep our cover.”

            Chuuya did as she said and mustered a chuckle. He withdrew his arm instantly. “What would Dazai say to you, acting chummy with another guy?” he teased.

            “Honestly, he’d probably flirt with you, too,” said (Y/N), shrugging.

            “Sounds like of an old friend of mine,” murmured Chuuya absently.

            (Y/N), smartly, did not press him. They stepped onto the escalator and began heading down. Below, Fyodor began riding the one next to it up.

            “Shit,” said (Y/N). “Dosteovsky. We need him to look away.”

            “Well, we might as well continue with our plan now,” said Chuuya before pulling (Y/N) in and kissing her.

            Fyodor didn’t even bother checking who was kissing. Grossed out by the PDA, he (and others) looked away. (Y/N) stepped back in surprise and blinked.

            “Huh. Psychologically weirding people out. Nice,” she said.

            Chuuya deadpanned. “I kissed you, and that’s all you have to say?”

            “What, was I supposed to be impressed?” teased (Y/N), stepping of the escalator and walking away.

            Chuuya scowled. “You should be honored.”

            “Ha! I would be honored if Dazai kissed me.”

            “That idiot? You have terrible taste.”

l

            Several hours of driving (in a stolen car) later; they stopped at the abandoned Suribachi Base. Night was falling as they climbed over the fence and dropped onto the barren ground of the base. The wind blew dust across the dirt paths as Chuuya, holding his shield in case enemies appeared, and (Y/N), undoubtedly hiding some weapons on her person, crossed to the building that housed the home of the information on the USB drive.

            “This is my old base,” he said. “It’s strange that it didn’t change much.”

            (Y/N) let him reminisce in peace as she scanned the surrounding area. “Damn.” They must have bounced the signal through here. “There’s no life forms.”

            Chuuya looked around one last time and frowned. “Let’s check there.” He pointed at the ammunition storage.

            “There?” (Y/N) raised an eyebrow.

            “Army regulations forbids storing munitions within five hundred yards of the barracks. This building is in the wrong place.”

            (Y/N) grinned. “Let’s find out why.”

[samsa19]

is dazai a ghost?

surprise surprise, i'm unfortunately not dead (yet). and before you call me batshit crazy for the title, hear me out. 

because I can tell you I didn’t stop at batshit crazy, I'm probably clinically insane.

((note: if someone had already posted this theory, please let me know. I usually do a quick search before I post my theories, but I didn’t get to do that this time and I’d hate for someone to think I would claim an unoriginal theory to be my own.)) 

anyways, here goes the theory. spoiler break below for the manga >>

These panels were pretty shocking to me. 

To be honest, the first times I’ve seen Dazai appear in Atsushi’s conscious/subconscious, I thought it was just part of his mental shift. As others have probably suggested before, I thought that Dazai was slowly replacing his old headmaster. Like a shift from his past trauma to the inspiring motivation and confidence that Dazai (somehow) instilled within him. I thought that was a nice touch on Asagiri’s part. 

But okay, Dazai has materialized out of nowhere for way too many times to be explained by an Atsushi’s-mini-epiphany and a shrug of the shoulders. And this can be taken storywise as well, because at this point Dazai’s appearance has moved the plot too much. 

So like any other mentally healthy person I think there are two main ways to explain Dazai’s apparent incorporeality. 

1. The Book, which you saw coming from ten miles away 

You can probably piece this together before I explain anything. But being the annoying entitled jackass I am, I will proceed to do so anyway. And generously tell you why I disagree with it. 

Dazai has demonstrated his nullification on the book through BEAST already, and it wouldn’t be strange if another version of himself had that same influence on this very universe. Disregarding whether or not this universe is the “OG” universe, I think there’s valid reason to believe that #our-verse Dazai has contacted other Dazais to make short, somewhat-materialized appearances in this world. 

But, thinking about how this can work, is somewhat difficult. 

Firstly, in order to transcend universes I think we can reasonably assume that we must have a Dazai have ahold of his universe’s Book. So it goes like: you give a Dazai a book -> he contacts his clone -> he teleports -> he headpats Atsushi or whatnot.

However.  

Let’s recall BEAST as an example. It was stated that it took place in a timeline where Dazai somehow got ahold of the Book. I’m not exactly sure how this is, but this would imply he was able to read the future and possible timelines of pretty much every existing universe. 

I include possible, because he says the BEAST world was the only one in which Odasaku could live. But he would have had to go back into the past of that BEAST world, because it starts when Akutagawa meets Dazai- far before Odasaku’s fate. Meaning, the future would not have happened were it not for the interference of alter-Dazai. So there’s a variable, possible timeline for BEAST in which Odasaku would not have lived. 

The definition for the Book, if I recall correctly, is that whatever is written in it becomes true, as long as there is karmic balance. 

...Since when did the Book contain all futures? 

That would mean our timeline is written in as well. If “our” Dazai did contact the others through the Book, he already a) has the book, and b) knows its possible futures. And we’re only seeing the most successful timeline in this world, where every Dazai has decided to cooperate. 

The reason why I’m somewhat reluctant to agree with this, is the incongruity it develops with a), as well as the fact that every appearing Dazai looked the same. 

I did say two main ways, didn’t I? 

2. Dazai is a ghost! 

Oh shit, you saw this coming too.

Jokes aside, I want to reference my old theory in which I stated a possibility that Dazai is competing in existence between his soul and his theory, and the current Dazai we see now is a mixture of the two. (You can check it out in my bsd theory tags.) 

Why did I want to reference this theory? 

Because I’ve been thinking recently: 

An existence has capacity for two entities, a soul and an ability. They establish a mutual relationship by the soul allowing the ability to reside in the existence, and the ability being used freely in its exchange. Additionally, the host soul must be stronger than the ability (as noted by 55 Minutes and Dead Apple). 

What’s happening in Dazai, or at least what I propose, is that the soul and the ability aren’t in this equilibrium. This is what I think disables Dazai from using NLH at his own free will- either the ability is too strong, or the soul is too weak. 

Now, every other ability user can somewhat bring their abilities under control. Kunikida is still Kunikida when he uses Doppo Ginkaku. Kenji returns to Kenji after using ((insert whatever his ability is called in English)). Chuuya is still Chuuya after using Corruption. 

But Dazai, is perpetually both Dazai and NLH.

Here it goes, stay with me. 

Every time we have seen Dazai in Atsushi’s conscience, he was in jail. However, the image is wearing the same clothes as he is when Atsushi interacts with him. 

This clues that whatever is talking to Atsushi, is some essence of Dazai, in the form that Atsushi knows him in. 

So where does this so-called essence come from? 

I have two proposals. 

a. There is an OG Dazai, associated with the Book, that is leading Atsushi to the Book. Thus, fulfilling his title as the “Tiger Beetle” as told by Fitzgerald’s mystery fortune teller. 

Or,

b. There is a fragment of the soul that is not occupying Dazai, due to his conflicted existence, and it is roaming the current world. Whenever it comes in contact with Atsushi, it manifests in the form he knows of. Thus, materializing isn’t actually materializing- it’s Dazai who’s speaking, but Atsushi who’s perceiving the soul in a different way. 

I know the theories this time are pretty weak, but I thought the whole question was worth addressing anyways. Let me know which, if any, of these, are most plausible. Please also tell me if there are any discrepancies with whatever evidence I've brought up. 

Stay safe, and thanks for reading! 

[gold-pavilion]

Shin soukoku and the philosophy of “meaning”

It’s a running theme that the team dubbed double black is always comprised of two very different but complementary members, from ability and skills to character and values. Shin soukoku, the new double black, isn’t the exception but actually the greatest exponent of that. 

Now, it’s also not unintentional that BSD’s characters and their viewpoints can sometimes represent different schools of existential thought, developing and clashing with others - it’s a theme that’s very central to BSD itself after all - and it’s precisely there, on that plane, where the opposition is built most strongly between Atsushi and Akutagawa.

I’ll explain each of their standpoints, and in a minute you’ll see exactly what I mean. 

Starting with Atsushi, his character arc sees him overcoming the idea he was raised under: that he needs to earn and justify his right to be alive, otherwise he’s a burden at best or pernicious at worst. And so, the need he displays to save others is both an act of empathy and a pathological need to be good for something, so that he can feel forgiven and justified. 

(Continuing under the cut due to length and plenty of imgs.)

This view has guided Atsushi from the start. It’s what pushed him to consider self-sacrifice as the only thing he could do during his ADA entrance test, what caused him to desperately want to save both the civilians during Kajii’s train hijack and Kyouka shortly after. It’s explained the most clearly in the following exchange with Akutagawa himself, during the Echo chapters:

But one thing is the ghost of the past behind Atsushi’s back, and another is his own thinking. Such ideas didn’t originate from him and they’re certainly not his own; in fact, Atsushi is fighting against them. 

Thanks to his own desire to live and the very healing effect of his time with the ADA, he’s quickly learned that no one can decide someone else’s worth or determine whether they have a right to live. That the worth in a person is inherent; a being doesn’t have to “be worthy”, it just has to be. It exists because it exists, not through virtue of being allowed by someone else. Existing, in itself, has worth, and anything more can be built up from there. That’s what he’s arrived at and what he wants to prove.

Akutagawa is aware of this viewpoint.

But Akutagawa refuses and opposes such a philosophy. He, on the other hand, has never seen or known worth in existence alone. Rather, his ideology is that a being doesn’t have worth, but must become worthy by virtue of being useful for something, being acknowledged for an achievement or use, and thus be given significance. To him, not everyone deserves their existence, not everyone gets that peace of mind. Not if they don’t win it first.

This is, of course, what his childhood in the slums and his education under Dazai taught him, what Dazai drilled into the deepest parts of him.

A being with no use is something worse than dead: it’s meaningless. It can be discarded, since it’s as good as nothing. So what he must do is earn his place and prove his significance. 

Even now, he must prove it.

In other words, we can summarize their standpoints this way: facing the question of “what makes it meaningful to be alive? What is meaning?”, Atsushi’s character as a whole represents the answer that “meaning is inherent to the self”, while Akutagawa’s says “meaning is determined externally to the self”.

When Atsushi and Akutagawa clash, it’s often a direct opposition between these two ideas. Akutagawa’s initial hate for Atsushi hinged on the frustration that someone like him, someone who didn’t prove to be strong enough and worthy enough, was being treated with humanity and given Dazai’s recognition. Likewise, Atsushi’s hate for Akutagawa was born from the latter’s disregard for life itself, for itself, which nullified his capacity for empathy.

Bearing this in mind, the following dialogues (taking place near the beginning, during Kyouka’s arc) become much clearer and more telling:

Akutagawa wanted her to have what he so desperately works for. Atsushi wanted her to be told what he so desperately needed too. Through their perspectives of Kyouka, they very much exposed their individual philosophies. And this first clash of values would shape their joint character arcs.

Of course, at the bottom of it all, what they both struggle with is the same: self-worth. And what they desire is also the same: to live meaningful lives. For Atsushi the answer is already at hand, what he must do is save lives and help people through the ADA, it’s what fulfills him and, little by little, eases the psychological ‘curse’ placed upon him by his deceased mentor. For Akutagawa, the answer is obtaining Dazai’s acknowledgement, being given worth by the only person he truly thinks can confer it to him, in order to feel that his life has been and is something of value. 

Though their search is similar, their answers are opposite and that’s what makes them two sides of the same coin, in a more profound way than anything else could. That’s what they are, as the current double black.

Or is it? Is that all?

After all, they didn’t simply stay as opposites and leave it at that, fighting each other without extending a single bridge between them. Akutagawa has shown time and time again that he understands Atsushi’s viewpoint, that he sees him. Atsushi sees him as well, and because of that, he’s set that unexpected bridge in order for Akutagawa to truly come closer and see things from his side of the divide. The constant friction of the two opposing forces erodes and begins to change them both.

Akutagawa, most of all, is still on a journey, tried and tested against Atsushi’s mostly defined arc. Through the rule of no killing, he’s gaining a new perspective on the value of life in general, and may yet see his own under a new light. Even now, he’s reconsidering what he’s proving and why.

In this setup of opposing philosophies something may yet change. This instance of soukoku, which has been built in a similar manner to the previous ones (that I believe have also had streaks of philosophical opposition written into them, but that’s thought and talk for another time) might result in something a tad different and be, in a way, more successful than their predecessors. 

But that’s the story Asagiri-sensei is still in process of telling us, so we’ll see what comes as we continue to read it.

For now, thanks for reading this! 

Manga credit: easygoingscans’s translation of BSD’s first arcs, dazaiscans’s translation of Portrait of a Father and the Echo chapters, and my translation for the recent Decay arc chapters.

[n1kolaiz]

The Six Realms

Okay, so I was pretty close to giving up on writing analyses but I'm back LMFAO plus I see we're close to 100 followers and I just want to thank you guys for being so very supportive <3

Alright, I'm not sure if anyone's ever written about this, but if an analysis like this exists, please do let me know because I'm kind of curious as to what other people think about this, too!

Remember that time Fukuchi spoke about bringing "about the five signs of an angel's death"?

I read a little bit more about it, and as a minor content warning: this analysis will focus on a few religious aspects (Buddhism + Hinduism). So if I get any of the facts wrong, firstly: I do not mean any disrespect to either religion, and secondly: please do correct me if I interpret anything in the wrong way.

Spoilers for BSD chapter 90 onwards + BEAST!AU under the cut!

So I'll start by talking about the Decay of Angels. As we all know, the members include Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma, and Bram Stoker, and their leader, Fukuchi Ochi. After Fyodor's arrest, the Decay of Angels came into light with Nikolai murdering four government officials in a week. These murders symbolise the Buddhist cycle of existence, or otherwise known as samsara: the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

"We are the Decay of Angels—hiding here as terrorists, a 'murder association', five people who will announce the demise of the celestial world."

Nikolai Gogol, chapter 57

Samsara is described to be a concept beyond human understanding. According to Hinduism, samsara is the physical world where every being has its soul trapped into a physical vessel. The Hindus believe that everything has a soul, and due to a soul's attachment to desire, it is forced into a deathless cycle of being born, dying, and reincarnating into a different body. In Buddhism, the ultimate way to break free from this cycle is by obtaining nirvana.

Nirvana is a Sanskrit word for the goal of the Buddhist path: enlightenment or awakening. In Pali, the language of some of the earliest Buddhist texts, the word is nibbana; in both languages it means "extinction" (like a lamp or flame) or "cessation." It refers to the extinction of greed, ill will, and delusion in the mind, the three poisons that perpetuate suffering. Nirvana is what the Buddha achieved on the night of his enlightenment: he became completely free from the three poisons. Everything he taught for the rest of his life was aimed at helping others to arrive at that same freedom.

- TRICYCLE'S definition of nirvana

As Fukuchi mentions in the panel above, there are six different realms of existence. These realms represent every possible state of existence, but one cannot live in a specific realm forever. Depending on whether or not one's past actions were morally good or bad, an individual is born into one of these realms. Basically, the controlling factor of which realm a person is born into is dependent on their respective karma. The realms are separated into two categories: the hellish ones and the heavenly ones.

The Deva Realm: where beings are rewarded for the good deeds they have done. This realm is void of anything unpleasant. It is basically paradise— empty of unfulfilled desires, any form of suffering, and fears of every kind. Religious individuals, however, do not seek to be born into this realm since its attitude is more or less carefree.

The Asura Realm: where demigods are admitted. Asuras are driven by greed and envy, and may come in conflict with human beings since they are quite similar. They are powerful beings, but quarrel with each other quite a bit, making this realm quite undesirable to be reborn into.

The Animal Realm: where beings are given the form of an animal (you probably guessed that lol). Individuals here don't actually have good karma to take pride in, but rather, they are born into this realm to work off their bad karma (by being slaughtered, hunted, or forced to work, etc). Being born into this realm forces one to atone for their past sins by living out their life as an animal.

The Hell Realm: where one is punished for their evil actions. The most merciless of realms, where one pays for their transgressions through pure suffering, methods of which include: dismemberment, starvation, and psychological/physical torture. However, once a person's term is fulfilled in this realm, they are presumably promised to be reborn into a higher state.

The Preta Realm: similar to the hell realm, in which beings pay for their past sins (specifically: greed and stinginess) by having to survive through hunger and thirst. This realm is also known as the 'ghost realm,' because some pretas are psychologically tortured by being forced to live in places their past selves have lived in. They are invisible to human beings living at that time, which pushes them to face the depths of despair and loneliness. Your typical horror movie, really.

The Human Realm: the only realm where one's actions determine their future. The status (social ranking, physical wellbeing, and so on) of a human being in this realm is determined by their past actions, but due to the fact that a person has their own conscience to differentiate good morals from bad, the actions they commit in this realm have the power to determine which realm they are sent to next.

Okay, so now that I've got that out of the way, let's shift our focus to the Book. Very little is known about the Book, but the basic fundamentals of how it works is that whatever is written in the book will come into existence only if its contents follow the rules of karma. In addition to that, only a few sentences can be written into a single page of the Book, and it must follow the current narrative of the story.

If I'm not wrong, the first time the Book was mentioned was by Fitzgerald, who wanted it to resurrect his deceased daughter in hopes of restoring his wife's mental health. The next time the Book is brought up is when Fyodor's intentions to possess it are divulged; his goal was to decimate the global population of ability-users. And now, the current arc has the Book as its central focus, with a single page in Fukuchi's possession.

[ BEAST!AU spoilers ]

The Book acts as the central point of multiverses, with each character's lives differing from universe to universe.

Dazai committing suicide in this alternate universe stands in sharp contrast with how he decided to start up a new life in the main universe.

Oda staying alive to act as a mentor to Akutagawa in the ADA differs from how Oda uses his death to prompt Dazai to "be on the side that saves people."

And of course, the way Atsushi and Akutagawa have their positions switched in the two universes depicts how different their lives would be if they were given the chance to be mentored by different people— these are just a few examples of how the Book houses an endless amount of possibilities.

[ end of BEAST!AU spoilers ]

Hypothetically speaking, this kind of reminds me of the differing realms I mentioned before, where suffering is promised in some realms, and better things are granted in the rest, depending on one's karma, or the deeds they've done in their past lives. In this scenario, perhaps one's past life can be understood as one's current life in a different universe. That's just a personal opinion though. Take it as you will.

side note: Keep in mind that the person who is more or less impervious to the Book's effect is Dazai, with his nullification ability. I wouldn't want to propose any theories in this aspect (I don't believe I'm fully fact-checked ;_;), but I could use Dazai as a raw example of how your choices affect your future. If Dazai had decided to stay in the Port Mafia after Oda's death, or if he even decided to go through with his suicidal fixations, life would've been different for him in the root universe (obviously, ryley) I mean, you could basically understand that from how he ended up in the BEAST au, but imagine if he really did slip up in his decision-making in any of the universes.

Many analysts have proposed that he went MIA (early in his life) from the main universe for a while to figure out how the BEAST universe worked, whilst having the Book to his advantage. Perhaps his actions were guided? I'm not saying he's all-knowing, but he's sure as hell smart. I'm not sure if Kafka was trying to highlight the concept of karma when it comes to Dazai, but if he is, then I suppose you could say that Dazai is pretty much unaffected by the rules of karma, existing as the centerpiece of all the multiverses. No Longer Human is the namesake of his ability, but the book talks about disqualification from societal norms and generally, the world. I was talking about it with a friend, and they reminded me that Yozo (the main protagonist) was pretty strong in his views against society. Like he didn't speak out of total defeat, he spoke out of defense. If there was anything Dazai actually lost to, it was his guilt— "Living itself is a source of sin."

Then again, that's my personal interpretation since everyone has their unique perspective of his writings. In terms of the actual adaptation, you could translate the word 'disqualification' to 'insusceptibilty' when if it came to the Book's effects on Dazai? This side note is becoming really long lmao anyways I'll link a few theories which afflicted me with brainrot down below.

Another thing before I wrap up, the name 'Decay of Angels' stemmed from Yukio Mishima's book entitled 'The Decay of An Angel.' This is the final novel to the author's tetralogy: 'The Sea of Fertility.' The main protagonist, Honda, meets a person he believes to be a reincarnation of his friend, Kiyoaki, who takes the form of a young teenage boy named Tōru. The last novel of this series enhances Mishima's dominant themes of the series as a whole:

the decay of courtly tradition in Japan

the essence and value of Buddhist philosophy and aesthetics

Mishima’s apocalyptic vision of the modern era

Again, this could be referred to what Fukuchi goes on to say:

Some people view the concept of samsara optimistically, justifying it by saying that perhaps each individual is given a second (third, fourth, fifth, who knows) chance to refine their actions in order to be birthed into a better realm, with their karma being the independent variable.

On the other hand, other people, specifically the Hindus, view the cycle of existence as some sort of plague. To them, the flow of life and being forced to endure the suffering of mere existence in any form was somewhat frowned down upon. Some Hindus viewed samsara as a trap. Besides, having one's soul being limited to a physical body for the rest of eternity was not very appealing, especially since where they ended up at depended on the karmic value their past actions surmounted.

Even so, particular types of Buddhists don't seek nirvana, but instead, like the Hindus, they make an effort to be good people of society, building up their good deeds to increase the likelihood of being reborn into one of the better realms.

As mentioned before, the Deva Realm was the home of angels, the most carefree, gratified beings to exist. Fukuchi describes these angels as the people who don't get their hands dirty, the people who act as the puppeteers of society: politicians.

In terms of parallels, angels were the most fortunate and powerful, but they didn't have anyone ruling over them. A lack of supervision would lead to the abuse of power, which is what I believe Fukuchi was referring to. Deeming himself the Decay of Angels, he sought to prove himself as the 'sign of death that falls on the nation's greed.'

A few fun facts (okay, not really) about Yukio Mishima: he committed seppuku (ritual suicide by disembowelment) on the day he held a speech to voice out his unpopular political beliefs to the public. Mishima deeply treasured traditions and opposed the modern mindset the nation was advancing forward to adapt eventually. In his last book, The Decay of an Angel, he spoke about the five signs which complete the death of an angel:

Here are the five greater signs: the once-immaculate robes are soiled, the flowers in the flowery crown fade and fall, sweat pours from the armpits, a fetid stench envelops the body, the angel is no longer happy in its proper place.

The Decay of an Angel, p.53

The reviews about this series I've read so far describe Mishima's works to be quite complex; his writings demanded a lot of time to deconstruct and understand. They were highly symbolic, and he was pretty obsessed with death and the 'spiritual barrenness of the modern world.' I think you could attach a few strings from here to the mindsets of the DOA members. Of course, this parallel is completely abstract, but I'll go on rambling anyway:

He should have armed them with the foreknowledge that would keep them from flinging themselves after their destinies, take away their wings, keep them from soaring, make them march in step with the crowd. The world does not approve of flying. Wings are dangerous weapons. They invite self-destruction before they can be used. If he had brought Isao to terms with the fools, then he could have pretended that he knew nothing of wings.

The Decay of an Angel, p.113

I suppose you could resonate Nikolai with that excerpt. As much as Fukuchi takes the lead in this whole murder association, I'd like to believe that each member of the DOA plays an equally interesting part in whatever movement they're trying to execute. Fyodor feels it is his god-sent purpose to cleanse the world of its sins, his motto being, "Let the hand of God guide you." Sigma doesn't know where he belongs, since his origination comes from a page in the Book, and is fueled by the desperation to find a reason to live. Bram holds one of the most powerful abilities which is counted to be one of the "Top Ten Calamities to Destroy the World."

What I mean to say is that the DOA members are incredibly powerful, and they're not your ordinary antagonists (or I'm just biased). It's not just overthrowing authorities, mass genocide, and world domination— you could say that each individual is trying to utilize their purposes to their fullest expenditures, and the way they're trying to assert their plan into action is a little more passive-aggressive (framing the Agency, having a convo with a suicidal dude in jail, etc). They're the gray area between evil and good. As they framed the good guys for their own crimes, they're trying to conquer the bad guys for exploiting the innocent as they please.

This post would definitely age well if all hell breaks loose in the current arc (as if it didn't) and Kafka doesn't give us a happy ending.

That's all I have to say for now I guess! Thank you for reading, and once again, if anyone else something they wanna share, feel free to do so <3

sources (tryna follow Q's example ^_^) :

the six realms

samsara

the decay of angels

beast!au

the book

the sea of fertility

yukio mishima

theory: dazai’s emotional/mental state in beast!au

q’s theory: dazai being the protector of the book

theory: beast!dazai and the book