#day 20: journey
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The Journey To Her - Shasta/Beverly Keane/Tamerlane Usher
A/N: Day 20 for @polyamships Multiamory March. First GIF made for me by @whoreofthecottage
Tamerlane knew she needed her lovers. Shasta comes home first, her journey slow but easy. Beverly Keane took longer to come home, her journey longer and her mind clouded with worry for her beloved. She enters slowly, locks them all in then moves to kiss both Shasta and Tamerlane before moving away to shower and change her clothes, she knew she would need time to adjust to being home, even as she smiles to herself. The long journey was worth it for the happiness in Tamerlane’s smile. She would, always, love Tamerlane and Shasta. She found peace, true peace, here, with them both.
#shasta#tamerlane usher#beverly keane#the midnight club#midnight mass#tfothou#fall of the house of usher#the fall of the house of usher#multiamory march#day 20: journey#shasta/beverly/tamerlane
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they licensed his ass
my finished piece of the FWMS (official name definitely 100%) thing we started a few days ago! I had fun I hope folks had and/or continue to have fun with the sketch as well.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhsy#riz gukgak#Fuck With My Sketch#I mean it I'm gonna use that. gotta stop me if u dont wanna#doing things like this is bittersweet bc this slaps and I look at this and Im like well. I will never be able to nail this look again#I guess that's the plight of self taught art. but also it means you have to learn to let go and go look for different delights#you can't get too attached to one way of doing things. you will find many new things on ur way to make more funny bictures n such#this slaps tho Im so happy with how this came out lol. its be a long while since I last drew something in this vein#appropriate that its for riz lol he deserves it. he deserves the photoshoot pieces#funny enough this also kind of was prompted by drawfee? in one of the episodes I was binging (I thiiiink the one bg a day ep)#jacob brought up one of the artists I follow on twitter (havent been there in a decent while lol) who uses a pretty distinct#blue-on-red palette that got me to think abt teal-on-red and then this happened#funny enough I did start the piece with teal-on-red but then I shifted to blue after and was like wait I love this suddenly#and then committed lol. I should work with teal-on-red properly more but for now! we have fun! we enjoy#thats my journey thank u for listening. thank u for drawing with me if u have and come hang next time if u havent
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Senior Year Au
Former Rat Grinders all spend the rest of Junior year and all of summer break in therapy, both individually and as a group. It's a lot of work, but they're coming back together in the aftermath in a healthier more sustainable way. (The empty places among them leave them feeling a mix of complicated emotions.)
Mary Ann still maintains her relationship (???) with Gorgug. (They're not asking many questions because Mary Ann gives few answers.) Lucy is good friends now with The Bad Kids, but Kristen especially. Even Ruben is on decent terms for the most part.
Ivy and Oisin had it much harder. They don't remember everything, but they remember enough to make the weight of it heavy on their shoulders, Oisin especially for the large part he and his magic had played.
Ivy had never been one to blatantly apologize. She's always been a bit catty, though never like that before. Still, before the school year ends she (very politely) asks Mazey for a moment of her time.
Mazey, a much kinder person, agrees and they step aside somewhere a little more private. (For however brief a time it was, Mazey did feel what the rage from that shatter star felt like. It's a large factor in her giving Ivy this chance.)
Ivy, as much as it visibly pained her to say the actual word sorry initially, does genuinely apologize. She's blut about it, and doesn't shy away in the least from the acknowledgement of how fucked up the things she said were.
They talk for a bit, and while it's hard to imagine they may ever be friends, both girls leave the conversation feeling closure on the topic.
Mazey ends up talking to Fabian about it, so of course the Bad Kids know.
Oisin talks briefly with Fabian Seacaster one day, extending an apology for the damages to him home, and passes along information so Oisin can ensure financial compensation is had.
The apology to Fabian is appreciated, but talking about it later the Bad Kids hone in on the fact that Oisin hasn't spoken to Adaine even once, to apologize for the taunt he's sent her or for-
Adaine abruptly says she doesn't want to talk about it, and ignores the fact that he exists entirely.
Oisin doesn't talk to them once the rest of Junior Year, even tho the rest of his team does. The Bad Kids think him a coward, and while Oisin would agree with them, the Rat Grinders look at each other with tight lips.
.
.
.
Oisin struggles greatly with his actions. He had been, essentially, Kipperlily's right hand. His magic had allowed Kipperlily access into, and away from, the Bad Kids Last Stand where she had killed Buddy. (They do not know where he is, but they've sworn to each other to find him.) His magic had laid the trap in Seacaster Manor, his summoning calling the Nightmare King Storm and his relatives who swarmed a house-boat filled with innocents.
Jawbone does help them get an actual accredited therapist, which is something Oisin feels great relief about, as it makes it easier to talk about some aspects of his time under the shatter-star.
.
.
Like the fact that prior to all this, he did have a very genuine crush on Adaine Abernant.
.
.
.
How couldn't he? She was beautiful yes, stunningly so, but more importantly she was smarter than a whip and a phenomenal wizard, unafraid to get her hands dirty. Even as short, scrawny dragonborn with glasses that felt too big for his snout at the time, he'd held the girl in very high esteem.
Oh he'd never ever dare to talk to her, for all that his friends may have once tried to encourage it during freshman year. He'd known even then that the elven girl was far out of his league.
While he wasn't a true dragon, Oisin's family had strong blood ties still, and the bleed over was still strong. Strength was important to them, and fighting the other was the first step in courtships between Dragons for a large variety of reasons. He'd been so scrawny, and a untested young wizard to boot, that he couldn't fathom ever being strong enough to match up to a girl like her. He's certainly endured enough scrutiny for his lack of battle prowess at home.
So no, Oisin hadn't thought that he would ever be a good match for such a girl, but he could hoard tender feelings about her in his chest, and nobody could do or say anything about it. At most he would endure some playful teasing at the time but he'd always reassure his friends it was alright.
"Not every unrequited love is bitter." Oisin told them once, smiling softly as he pulled his eyes away from where Adaine was walking to join her friends for lunch further out in the quad. "Statistically, high school romances don't work out. This is just...an equation that doesn't result in a positive answer. No use being angry at the numbers, the math won't change." He says.
Lucy had frowned, "Life isn't a math question Oisin."
"Yes it is," Oisin's responded, "it's just one of the unsolvable ones." His grin turned into a yelp when Ivy had dragged him down to try to noogie him, and they had all laughed and left the topic alone.
.
.
.
When he had first been raged out, he hadn't felt bitter. He felt strong and powerful and didn't need the distractions. But when Adaine had spotted him at the party to talk, after he'd grown tall and bulked out from the hours pumping iron to burn off the excess anger-
She only noticed him when he'd already been on his way to hell. That's when he started feeling bitter.
.
.
.
Oisin has so many complicated emotions and guilts eating away at him. He desperately wants to apologize to Adaine Abernant, to lay his heart bare so she may deliver his due judgement and strike true.
But more than anything, he needs to sort himself out first. He would not risk apologizing, not when his heart still ached, not when anyone could possibly notice and decide his apology was motivated by selfish wants instead of true remorse.
So Oisin does not speak to any of them the rest of that year or over the summer, even as the others will tag along with Lucy and Mary Ann sometimes to join the Bad Kids for an afternoon. He goes to therapy, reads self books, and painstakingly does his best to bleed the love for Adaine Abernant out of his heart. He knew the statistics when he fell in love, he'd have to do this one day or another.
Finally, first day of Senior Year, Oisin follows his party to where the remaining Bad Kids are.
He's spotted immediately, he knows because Riz Gukgak goes tense and starts furiously whispering, the Bad Kids exchange hushed words Oisin is too far to hear, but Adaine Abernant meets his gaze for a long moment.
Then she turns and leaves.
Oisin isn't surprised, but he does watch her leave for perhaps longer than he should have, before quickening his steps to catch up with the others.
The Bad Kids, as alright as they are with the others, glare at Oisin. Ivy beside him is tense, but bumping his tail against the back of her calves is his way of telling her this is alright.
He gives brief apologies, for the storm and those of his family who had attacked them all on his request.
Then, he quietly asks them to pass on a message to Adaine.
"I would like to apologize to her but-" He clears his throat under the pressure of the glares he's receiving. "If she doesn't want to hear it I understand completely."
Oisin doesn't give much time for a response, dipping his head and giving a quick goodbye as he prepared to go find his locker before classes.
"Oisin-" Lucy calls as he starts stepping away from the group.
"It's alright," Oisin murmers, thinking back to a warm fall day in the quad during freshman year. "I already knew the outcome of this equation."
"Life's not a fucking math problem, love." Ivy says, arms crossed defensively. Nobody else talks, and Oisin can feel the glares of the Bad Kids burning into his scales.
"Yes it is," he reminds them. "It's just a messy, unsolvable one." Oisin's smile is soft and tired. It is the smile of a man who's been resigned to his fate his whole life.
He'd always knew he'd never been or would ever be worth even a moment of the beautiful, amazing Elven Oracle's time.
He'd run the math, and it was no use being mad at numbers that wouldn't change.
Oisin turned and left.
#inkblade#adaine x oisin#adaine abernant#oisin hakinvar#poor boy has a long journey ahead of him#i do think he'll get to apologize one day but its a far longer road until the day he realizes he might have been wrong in his calculations#cause his unrequited love isn't a lost cause just yet#the bad kids have MANY questions but also dont want the dragon boy anywhere near adaine#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers
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20 day challenge ♡
Saw @ros3ybabe post about her 20 day challenge, so I decided to participate! 💗
I’ve been feeling unproductive these couple of days, so let’s switch that 🫡
I feel like 20 days is a manageable amount of days. Hopefully after these 20 days, I should already be in the habit of productivity! 🤭
☀️ Morning routine non-negotiables:
Wake up at around 8:30 am
Movement for a minimum of 15 minutes (stretching or walking)
Hygiene (shower, brushing my teeth, moisturizer, lotion, deodorant, and brushing my hair)
Morning journaling
Breakfast
⛅️ Daily non-negotiables:
Study Spanish for a minimum of 15 minutes
Engage in my hobbies for a minimum of 30 minutes
Doing tasks in my planner
Pre-lunch (if needed)
Lunch
⭐️ Night routine non-negotiables:
Going to sleep at around 11:30 pm
Night journaling
Hygiene (shower (if needed), brushing my teeth, lotion, and acne treatments)
Review my planner
Dinner
🌈 Rules:
Post an update every day
I don’t have to do everything
No energy drinks
Be honest
Have fun
It’s 2 pm right now, so I’ll start my full day tomorrow! But I’ll do my daily and night non-negotiables today! ✨
#20 day challenge#productivity#productivity challenge#self improvement#girlblogging#selfcare#self care#self love#audreys diaryy#girl blog#girl blogger#girl blog aesthetic#it girl#it girl aesthetic#wellness girl#just girly things#this is what makes us girls#girlhood#that girl#this is a girlblog#girlblog aesthetic#wellness#wellnessjourney#health and wellness#wellness tips#mental wellness#mental health#wellness journey#personal blog#text post
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I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go
My BKDK Journey
Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…
and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.
(not spoiler free)
_____
May 2021
To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.
I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.
But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.
When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH
Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.
There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol
So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…
I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.
Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,
but they only had season four and onwards.
Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,
I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!
(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)
_____
June 2021
At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.
Especially fanart.
This is where I started learning about the different ships.
I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.
Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.
And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????
HELLLLLLLLLLL NO
So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)
(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)
But that began to change…
_____
August 2021
…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.
I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!
I was like 😧
IS THAT IZUKU?????
And i looked in the comments and yes it was.
I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.
I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)
And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.
I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…
And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.
I was like “wait WHAT???”
I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”
And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”
And it was!!!!!
So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—
Bakugou just called him IZUKU
Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,
He
Freaking
APOLOGIZED
And I was like “huhhhhhhh”
What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????
Well, I finally got my answers…
_____
November 2021
…when I started reading the manga.
I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…
And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—
First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”
Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).
Cried.
Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.
. . .
Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”
😦
THE WAY I GASPED
AND THEN CRIED
OH MY FREAKING GOD
That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman
Then, of course, we see them in recovery
And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*
And then I was caught up.
(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)
So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later
Was I now a bakudeku shipper?
Hah nope.
_____
December 2021
I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.
Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.
But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).
I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.
And I really liked it.
But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.
It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.
A really really really really guilty pleasure.
So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.
A snippet of my daily life:
Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*
Me: eww
Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*
Me: who even likes this?
Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*
Me: not my ship
Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*
Bless my heart I was in such denial.
_____
July 2022
Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.
We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT
He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)
Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status
Evidence:
For reference, some of my favorite characters are:
Beth March (Little Women)
John Reese (Person of Interest)
Joss Carter (Person of Interest)
Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)
Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)
Fantine (Les Mis)
Eponine (Les Mis)
Jean Valjean (Les Mis)
Simon (Lord of the Flies)
Piggy (Lord of the Flies)
Grace Stone (Manifest)
Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)
Wanna guess which of these guys died?
Trick question! It’s all of them (:
Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU
hah hah.
_____
August 2022
Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.
Sometimes I hate being right 🥲
But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)
And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”
Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.
_____
September 2022
I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT
Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”
(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)
So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…
_____
July 2023
…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.
The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”
Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”
And then those chapters just kept getting better!!
Bebe Ochako’s determination???
The Spirited Away moment?????
“I’m envious of your smile”????????
“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭
For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…
_____
August 2023
…got Tumblr!!!
Everything was downhill from here folks.
In the best possible way.
I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.
Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.
And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.
I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!
(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line
It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)
_____
October 2023
And then finally, the day came.
The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.
We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹
And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.
_____
And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.
Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:
How did you guys get into bkdk?
Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??
In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)
(and thank you @animelover32456)
#this may just be me screaming into the void#but at least it’s out there#bnha#mha#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bakudeku#bkdk#my bkdk journey#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#my thoughts#and also I’m going to admit without admitting that I might or might not have made some ocs a mere two months after I started bnha…#and the two leads were very much bkdk coded 💀#I was going to make a next gen au and so over the course of two years I carefully crafted 20 students (names personalities and quirks)#and I had some cool villains#honestly some of my quirk ideas were awesome#maybe one day I’ll post some of them… we’ll see#but if anyone asks if I ever made any ocs NO I DIDNT#🎶song sings🎶
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一念关山 | A Journey to Love E7 ° Tianxing Canyon
#一念关山#A Journey to Love#cdrama#Liu Shishi#Liu Yuning#character: ren ruyi#character: ning yuanzhou#i tried#meowmao gifs#this whole fight scene (w everyone) took about 20 days to shoot#it was one of the first scenes they did when starting to shoot the drama
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kristen needs to get her adhd diagnosed it won’t fix her but it sure will be a stepping stone to get there
#speaking as someone who was diagnosed with adhd two days before turning 16#it helped me realize that i didn’t fit into the public education system#so i transferred to a very small private school and that also helped!#it’s a journey#also when i say very small i mean 25 kids pers grade plus a middle school of like thirty kids#i prefer college but i still love that school#fantasy high#actually adhd#kristen applebees#fhjy#dropout#dimesnion 20#fantasy high junior year
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Emily chanting "That's my husband!!" after Murph says "You gotta honor the cock" is relationship goals x1000.
#they are the dream couple#god I remember back in early collegehumor days when they weren't even dating yet#what a beautiful journey lmao#dimension 20#fantasy high
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hiii what romance mods do you use? 👀🤭
Helllooo!
The mods I tend to use for romance in my game are to help have a better criteria for finding spouses/baby makers + allowing autonomous chaos run rapid when they do. Also allows for more interesting gameplay as a player and makes me feel like my sims truly picked their partners.
Nraas Woohooer (+ Scoring, Karma Simtra): I use it more for allowing autonomous try for babies, woohoos, and risky woohoos so that unless my sims wish it, most of their woohoos are autonomous and on their terms.
Returned Attraction System: Me not using EA's attraction system but one that takes zodiac, traits, and moodlets to find better compatibility between sims rather than every townie in a mile being attracted to my sim. I use Easy Variety.
bluegenjutsu's More Romantic Autonomy (registration required): Makes romantic interactions be more autonomous between active and non active sims. (Possibly the mod that makes my sims propose steady + marriage without my interference and probably the one I know my sims like someone cause autonomy be ON).
#ask#wcif#the 3 ingredients for romance in my game#its a journey cause sometimes i have sims who find their partners in like a day cause of the mods#others its like 5 exes and 3 kids later but ended up with someone they liked#other times its like dump 20 sims in the game because this one is so darn picky i cant get anything#its all worth it in the end for me cause i live for drama
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#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#shirakami kotarou#kurono takehiro#vocal synth#voicevox#another one based off the memories of some post i saw a while back. i was like possessed. to redraw vsynth characters in popular posts#also low key this was what it was like being 22 in university classes full of 18-19 year olds for a bit there LHJSKHJFSDAjdfs#THEY WERE nicer about it. but sometimes they would find out my age and i could see the 'grown ass' flicker across their eyes#especially when they topic of discussion was shit like sororities and me not knowing shit about it. in my defence i was 1) confused about#'greek life' for a while because i am mixed race and kind of ambiguous irl so i just assumed it was a like a cultural based society thing#(we have a lot of those in my school its very multicultural) and they made an incorrect guess about my ethnicity again and 2) when I DID#finally figure out what the hell 'greek life' was supposed to be i signed up cause a friend asked me to but i missed the first day of#orientation cause i was sick and then the sororities started sending really passive agressive emails to me so i got scared off LOL#random sorority sidetrack aside. it was really funny when i was like yeah i dont really understand the whole deal#and a classmate was like oh well yeah i guess you wouldnt have the experience how old are you again like 18?#and i was like........................................................i turned 23 a month ago <:3c#and her face journey as she realized i was like 3-4 years older than her.... my apologies my dearest classmate#sowwy for being in my early 20s. it wont happen again <3
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one day I wish I could actually like understand songwriting especially for theatre so that I can I dunno actually put to use the random tunes I have in my head that just spontaneously appear while I'm doing the most mundane of shit. anyways patron has the concept of an opening number now
#im gonma call it Silakbo#the gist of this is um LOOK TO REALLY EXPLAIN WHAT PATRON IS UMM#understand that patron was originally two separate musical ideas whose events occur At The Same Time To Teach Other#so like yea same universe#Patron (pronounce it in the Filipino way) is about modern student activism in the philippines and the nitty gritty of it#Patron (english pronunciation) is about a young filipino playwirght struggles to find their voice in an american landscape (new york)#especially in the context of the events of Filipino Patron#both discuss what it means to be a young filipino revolutionary in this day and age#so um i first thought of this when i was 17-18 - and now im 20 and like the masochist i am i have decided to have them become one project#dual protagonist - one a new and rather sheltered stude of UP Diliman and one decorated young progressive writer in New York#the former is a journey of looking beyond privilege and what it really means to be among the masses#the latter is a story of how privilege blinds - and how susceptible we are to american neoliberalism#that it dulls once sharp pens + the irony of succumbing to such amidst environment and communities that scream for resistance#and whatever one protag does affects the other protag - whatever happens in america affects philippine events and vice versa yay#anyways openign number Silakbo is the arrival of these two protagonists to their respective settings - both with their own musical styles#(UPD protag progresses from broadway belts to pinoy hiphop - NY protag progresses from pinoy hiphop to broadway belts) (this is A Clue)#and most of UPD protag songs will be sung in Filipino while NY Protag will um progressively grow into being fully English#and silakbo can be used synonymously with storm so its basically a storm is coming who's gonna bring it#a change is approaching who's gonna chase it#tbh this out of all of my works is gonna be inspired heavily from lmm's work because tbh this is gonna be a beast to even conceptualise#so um yea thats a mini patron ramble woo hope its um understandable at worst 😭#personal shit#also yes the NY storyline is based on um once progressive Filipinos becoming subservients to conservative and harmful politics#either out of ignorance or power or simple nonchalance#i can name a lot of namess gjdjd
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Making A New Home – Iris Bearden/Jean McBrian/Lydia Nolan
A/N: Day 20 for @polyamships Multiamory March. GIFs made for me by @whoreofthecottage
“I’m… really glad I made the journey here. To America.” Jean’s voice is soft even as she smooths a hand through Lydia’s hair, working quietly as she plaits the girl’s hair, noting the soft smile that comes to Iris’ lips and promising herself she’d keep talking, even if she was a little shy. “I’m glad I came… I’m so glad I met you, Iris… Major Sixth. I’m glad I got to… I’m so glad I could be there to help you Lydia. I’m glad I get to make a new home, here, with both of you. I could not be happier.” She means every word.
#day 20: journey#the bletchley circle: san fransisco#multiamory march#iris bearden#lydia nolan#jean mcbrian#iris/jean/lydia
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I want to hear the word "ALWAYS" coming out of your mouth when you talk about me. @connectingwithsoul
#20 day challenge#personal journal#love#young love#True Love#unrequited love#Tumblr Love#love quote#love poems#unconditional love#Twin Flames#soulmates#original writing#emotional words#sentimental#Romantic Quotes#romantic thoughts#spilled thoughts#spilled truth#quotes and sayings#twinflames#spiritual journey#growing up#happiness#sadness#crush quotes#unrequited feelings#old flame#hope#always and forever
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10.29/30.24 (Day 19 & 20)
I'm not feeling as hopeful as I was when I first started transitioning. My nausea, wooziness, and motion sickness were at an all time high this morning. I was stuck in the bathroom for nearly an hour and I could barely stand. For fear of worsening my motion sickness in a moving vehicle, I walked about an hour and forty minutes to Planned Parenthood for an evaluation. I was exhausted, but that was my only option. At least with a workout like that, I didn't have to go on the treadmill today. I find it weird how the worst of my side effects effect me in the morning. They lessen by 11am or noon and are almost completely gone by the late afternoon. I've honestly thought at time that I may (by some strange miracle) am pregnant, but that couldn't be possible. I haven't so much as kissed anyone since I was seventeen.
I was surprised to hear from my provider at Planned Parenthood today that she'd never heard of anyone experiencing nausea or a suppressed appetite from anyone taking testosterone. In researching my side effects, I've found numerous people with similar or even identical issues. Am I really the only person in my area dealing with this? This bites! She also told me she wasn't sure if what I was experiencing could even be a result of taking testosterone. But what else could this possibly be? There's literally no other viable explanation for this. I feel like these circumstances may be driving me insane. I miss eating the way I'm used to. I'm so hungry, but I can't stomach much anymore.
After prescribing an anti-nausea medication for me and testing my testosterone levels, I was told to contact my primary physician if things got worse. I ended up taking an Uber home because the thought of walking any more than I had to killed me. I was incredibly anxious just as I've been for the past week and found it difficult to stop my heart from drumming. But I rolled the windows down and laid my head on the inside of the car door. That usually helps a lot when I take Ubers. I started to feel better by the time I got home, but I can't seem to shake the chronic fatigue.
The provider at Planned Parenthood told me to contact my primary physician should things worsen. I ended up contacting her today just to let her know what happened and that I plan to reach out if things change. She told me that she didn't have much information from me but explained (just as the Planned Parenthood provider did) that I am in the "transitionary" stage and my body is still adjusting to the changing levels of hormones. But she told me it'd be best to reach out to Planned Parenthood for any issues and concerns since they prescribed me my testosterone.
I'm frustrated that no one can pinpoint exactly what's wrong with me. I'm frustrated no one has sufficient information for me. I'm frustrated that if things worsen, I may need to temporarily stop taking testosterone. My heart sank when the Planned Parenthood provider told me that. I worked so hard and waited so long to start transitioning. This is not how it was supposed to go. I hate that I'm just going to have to tough this out and wait to see what happens. My patience is waning and my anxiety is skyrocketing.
—Benjiꕤ
#transgender#trans#trans man#transmasc#testosterone#hrt#ftm#inner thoughts#he/him#benji's journey#day 19#day 20
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hm.. closing thoughts. bennie deserved better 😔
#this is what living with your evil parents through your 20s for the sake of your younger sibling does to a mfer#it's so sad too because he and gioia only had 3 years left before she was considered a mini-adult + could move out without it being a whole#hooha... but alas 😢😢#it's not enough to die in the field! you then have to come back weirdstyle and now your friends treat you different because they watched you#die. and now your superiors (including your evil parents) are all breathing down your neck and observing you like a goldfish. and also#you are like... godcharged now? supersoldier style? but when the vigor wears off holy SHIT does it ache + also you feel less and less like#yourself with each passing day. the desire to feast on human flesh and blood is newfound? not fun at all 😱#and THEN. to top it all off. your churchgeneral sends you on a suicide mission to go find an ancient demon because it's your last hope at#finding a cure to stop the Demon Within from eating your entire self. and you both know it probably won't happen but honestly#he just wants you off the island for when you Become Something Else (read: a PR disaster).#and if you do succeed well. hooray! win-win situation‚ right?? ignore how you were thrown to the dogs to figure it out yourself! 💖#so whatever. you go on your hopeless journey and you have some good times along the way w the mainlanders#then! finally! against all odds! you find the giant demon lair you were looking for all along 🍻 perfect timing too because the pain is#becoming unmanageable and the thought of eating people to appease it is very tempting! so into the tomblair you go ⛹🏻♀️ and to your great#luck the great demon you sought out welcomes you in (unnoticed red flag) and promises to cure you (🚩🚩🚩)#but who would have thought the Cure would be becoming his puppet forever!!! wtf!#at least the pain is gone 🤨 most of your consciousness is too but. hey 🤷🏻♀️#this song and dance goes on for 7 years until your baby sister who you unwillingly abandoned comes and kills you whilst trying to figure out#wtf happened to you. man!!!!!#he is the unluckiest man in the world#sriracha.txt#fortuna presequel
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120 books a year? yeah u not retaining SHIT
#even in my voracious reading era i probably never got higher than the 20s?#at the library they give u 2 weeks for books i would check out maybe 3-4 and only read 2 and need an extension#so maybe 20 something books a year at MOST?#ive read 13 this year so far and thats only bc i read a LOT of novellas#like 7 books under 150 pages#and even those took me days to read and absorb like what#quantity readers piss me off bc how are u judging other ppl for taking their time?#its not abt the amount its abt enjoying the journey!
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