#dawn speaks japanese

[dawnthefluffyduck]

私はたくさんクラスのスケッチがあります

Class #1 is almost over, so here's the collection of ralsei doodles amidst my notes

((and bonus decorative pop-star band names))

[good-beanswrites]

So. It turns out I can't read. Have a random drabble of Mikoto + Tears because I misread one of the requests asdfds (featuring the smoking group :)) I thought of some juicy drama, but I'll admit his situation may not be as dramatic as this lol, just a thought about his emotions I was toying around with.

It had taken a bit of time, persuading, and bribery, but Mikoto reluctantly showed up to the smoking group’s next session. He looked like shit compared to them, but neither seemed to care.

Though he tried to refuse, they’d given him refills for his e-cigarette so he could participate. Shidou claimed he was quitting, but he didn’t strike Mikoto as the type to stop cold turkey. He stayed quiet most of the time, listening to the usual stories of days gone by.

Shidou asked about Kazui’s recent interrogation. Mikoto would have rather spoken about literally anything besides their situation as prisoners and murderers, but Kazui’s unlikely honesty caught his attention. The man admitted to getting rather worked up in front of Es, nearly to the point of tears.

Rather than offer any sort of comfort, Shidou chose to list off the benefits of crying in response. 

“It actually releases stress hormones,” he was saying, “and has been linked to better sleep, improved immune systems, and balance within your nervous system.”

Mikoto shared a smirk with Kazui, the cigarette angling between his lips. He wasn’t as quick as he thought.

“And what is that face for?” Shidou turned to him. “I do hope you’re not one of those types who think men shouldn’t cry. I’m sure you have plenty of times. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Mikoto was going to drop it; he wasn’t one of those people, after all. Unexpected thoughts struck him before he could dismiss the accusations. The rapid emotions that flashed over his face had the others waiting for his reply.

“Actually… uh…” He let out a nervous laugh. “I just realized, I haven’t. You know, h-” Mikoto’s voice faltered. It felt strange, speaking about the situation so casually. But he could trust these men. They’d never turned against him, or flinched away from him, even when the others had. Regardless, he was going to have to acknowledge it eventually.

“...He’s the one that gets to cry.”

The others stayed silent. Kazui took another drag. It wasn’t like it was a secret anymore, but he was sure that neither had come prepared for a conversation like this. Wisps of smoke slowly circled them.

"Whenever I got upset, he was there. If anything brought me to tears, then he… took care of it.” Not that Mikoto ever knew it was happening. In hindsight, it was maddeningly obvious how his blackouts corresponded to rough times. 

His breath shook the next time he inhaled. He took a pause. He had to stay calm. The line had been thin, these days, for when emotions would prove intense enough to send him over the edge. With all the underlying stress, even the most minor inconveniences could cause him to lose control.

The vapor he blew out left a trembly trail in front of him. He tried to sound lighthearted, but knew he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“I guess I always thought I was one of those guys who didn’t cry as much, or got less worked up about things. My coworkers always talked about breakdowns. I never had a single one. I didn’t really dwell on it. Why would I?” His smile was as wobbly as the laugh that bubbled out of him. “So, uh… I guess you were wrong, Shidou. I can’t remember the last time I shed a single tear.”

It didn’t take a doctor to know the kind of toll that takes on someone. 

Mikoto dropped his head, suddenly ashamed of his honesty. He must have sounded completely insane. He ran a hand through his hair. They were probably looking on with horror at what a mess he’d revealed himself to be. 

“I should go,” he muttered. He was already pretty upset and couldn’t risk hurting anyone else.

Shidou placed his hand gently on his arm. He didn’t look horrified in the slightest. Neither did Kazui. “Wait...”

He shrugged his arm away. “Leave me alone.”

“Mikoto.”

He paused only a moment in the entryway, as Kazui called to him.

“Thanks. I know it's not easy to talk about your true self.”

He wanted to accept it. He wanted to stay and keep talking and laughing as if nothing were wrong. He wanted to thank them for their kindness. But he couldn’t allow himself the luxury, now. “Whatever. It’s not like it matters.”

“It does.” Shidou told him. “Mikoto, I know things have been difficult. We just want to help you.”

“Yeah,” he said bitterly. The smoke shifted in his wake. “That’s what he said, too.”

[lulu2992]

Hi lulu, so i was wondering if have you played Far cry new dawn in French, does roger talk in another idiom?

In spanish he stills talk in french

Hi! Yes, I played New Dawn in French and Roger has the same Québécois accent he has in English. It even seems he’s played by the same actor, Vincent Leclerc, whose name appears among the other French voice talents in the credits.

As for some of the (Canadian) French words he uses, such as “osti”, “tabarnak”, or “caulisse”, they’re typical slang/swear words from Québec that we don’t use in France, so they kept them in the French version and they sound as funny and exotic as they do in English.

It’s rare that Far Cry characters who speak with a non-American accent end up also having an accent in the French version of the game, but Roger thankfully kept his!

[biceratops7]

A moment of silence for Yuuri Katsuki, who delivered a beautiful declaration of his feelings for Victor complete with a reference they’d both understand… entirely in Japanese

The role of Japanese dating culture in YOI

Disclaimer: This post is based on my research on Japanese culture. If you are Japanese and note that I missed the point, please enlighten me. I’m always happy to learn.

At first glance, Yuuri’s behaviour is rooted in awkwardness, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Whereas all of this is true, his cultural upbringing engenders some of his demeanours as well. It adds nuance to his character and to his relationship with Viktor.

Let’s break this down chronologically.

Inappropriate physical contact

When Viktor shows up at the onsen, his advances weird Yuuri out. Viktor’s courtship behaviour is totally over the top even beyond the borders of Japan, but it definitely isn’t how things work in Japan. Touching, for instance, is quite an intimate thing. It’s rude to touch a stranger in the ways Viktor touches Yuuri. No wonder Yūri has a flight or freeze response and doesn’t seem comfortable with it at all. That having Viktor’s hands on his body causes a visceral reaction doesn’t help the matter at all.

Hugs are uncommon unless they happen between people close to each other, such as friends or family, and they tend to don’t last long. Long hugs usually happen between people who are in love. Thus, it’s a big deal when Yuuri hugs Viktor before his performance at the Onsen on Ice. Yuuri is very anxious and determined to make Viktor stay in Japan. He is desperate and doesn’t know if he can win against the other Yuri. And he’s super awkward, even more so when interacting with Viktor. This hug is a desperate attempt to show that Viktor means something to him.

Kissing in public is widely frowned upon in Japan, although this view is slowly coming out of fashion. Traditionally, kisses were considered a long-term promise—you don’t kiss if you’re not serious about your relationship. When Yuuri and Viktor kiss at the end of episode 7, this is very serious. The shocked expression on the faces of Yuuri’s friends and family reflects the prevailing reaction of Japanese people to such a public display of intimacy.

Yuuri’s kokuhaku

A kokuhaku (告白) is a love confession, usually phrased along the lines of “I like you. Can we start seeing each other?” However, there are no rules on how a kokuhaku should be carried out. Some Japanese get very creative or explicit in voicing their feelings. If you google kokuhaku, you’ll find many examples of successful kokuhakus and such that backfired. People voice a kokuhaku when they want to date someone. If the other person’s response is positive, they start dating and are in a romantic relationship henceforth. Just hanging out with someone you have feelings for doesn’t qualify as dating until you’ve voiced your kokuhaku. I like this custom because it follows a rule set that minimises confusion and defines what both people can expect of each other. According to my research, many Japanese start relationships this way, although more and more prefer the “Western” way.

Until the end of episode 5, Yuuri struggles with the concept of love and identifying his feelings. I believe realisation strikes him when he crashes into the barrier at the Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu Regional Championship. This finally enables him to act on his feelings.

Yuuri chooses the press conference in which the skaters of the Japanese team present their season’s themes to voice his kokuhaku, and he is very explicit about it. Luckily, he knows Viktor is in love with him, for otherwise, his confession could have easily resulted in losing face as it was broadcasted nationwide.

This line is the most important part of Yuuri’s kokuhaku:

For the first time in my life, there’s a person I want to hold on to. That person is Viktor. I don’t really have a name for that emotion, but I’ve decided to call it ‘love’.

Note the usage of 自分か 繋ぎとめたい. As pointed out here, a more literal translation would be “Viktor being the first person I want to reach out to and bond with, and with those bonds, bind us together so that we will never part.” It’s a reference to Stammi Vicino (Non Te Ne Andare). If this isn’t a textbook kokuhaku, I don’t know what this is!

After this public kokuhaku, Yuuri and Viktor can finally start dating and get into relationship mode. Although we don’t get to see them dating, their interactions reveal a level of intimacy at the Cup of China, that leaves no doubt that they are boyfriends. It’s obvious to everyone around them, too. It’s mostly Viktor who initiates public displays of intimacy because, due to his own cultural upbringing, he’s less reserved, whereas Yuuri expresses his feelings in subtler ways. This turn in their relationship eventually prompts Viktor to instruct Yuuri to skate Eros as himself.

Like so many things in Japanese culture, love language is subtle. By saying “I love you” (愛してる), you’re more likely to weird your beloved one out. Even in a committed relationship, people rarely use this phrase. A key aspect of Japanese storytelling is “show don’t tell, but do it subtly and with nuance”. We see a lot of this in YOI, and those scenes say so much more about how much Yuuri and Viktor are in love than “I love you” ever could.

The marriage proposal

Traditional Japanese marriage proposals tend to be formal and indirect (e.g. “I like to make miso soup for you every day.”), and this is exactly what Yuuri is going for at the end of episode 9.

Please note the subs supply the word “coach” although Yuuri never uses it. What he really is saying here is “Please take care of me until I retire”, using お願いします which is a very formal expression that translates as “please take care of me”. However, the condition “until I retire” speaks volumes of his fear Viktor might say “no”. He’s been agonising over the possibility that Viktor might return to Russia soon for the whole Rostelecom Cup because his anxiety is telling him again that he isn’t enough.

By now, Viktor is familiar enough with Japanese customs that he identifies Yuuri’s request as a marriage proposal. His response is in the same fashion, and he implies he wants this to be forever (which is exactly what Yuuri was hoping for).

Engagement party

Traditionally, an engagement must be finalised in a ceremony that the couple’s families attend. It’s like a dinner party with gifts and a presentation of the rings. Only when the rings are presented, the engagement is official.

When Yuuri and Viktor get officially engaged in Barcelona, they actually break with tradition for the sake of giving the rings an additional spiritual meaning, which is deeply rooted in Japanese culture. They create omamori of their rings to bestow good luck on Yuuri for the Grand Prix Final. Since their love for each other and their love for the ice are tightly intertwined, this makes a lot of sense. This post explores in great depth what Yuuri tries to explain very awkwardly about the multiple meanings of the rings.

Even though Mari is the only family member around Yuuri and Viktor celebrate their engagement in Barcelona with her, Minako, and their skater friends.

Final words

The evolution of Yuuri and Viktor’s relationship is driven by Japanese customs. Awkwardness, anxiety and his aversion to being pushed aside, there is little progress until Yuuri figures out his feelings and voices his kokuhaku. Yuuri values and adheres to the traditions of his culture, and he only breaks them when being heavily inebriated.

Speaking of traditions, I picture Yuuri and Viktor having a traditional Japanese wedding, including a Shinto shrine ceremony and kimonos.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

It just dawned on me that the Netflix “One Piece” show using the original anime voice actors for the Japanese dub is a lot more complex than it seems. At first glance, it looks like the voice actors are just reprising their roles. They are already familiar with their characters, so it shouldn’t be too difficult doing the dub.

What makes things complex is that, technically speaking, these aren’t their characters. When Mayumi Tanaka goes to voice Luffy in the anime, she’s only working off of the script and directions from the director. When Mayumi goes to voice Luffy in the live-action, she’s actually working off of Iñaki Godoy’s performance. Even if you’re the greatest actor in the world and can replicate another performance perfectly, there’s still going to be distinct differences that will make you stand out. These differences could be anything, from dialogue changes to make the pacing work for the show to Godoy’s own little nuances that he adds to his version of Luffy.

It’s strange to think that even though Mayumi Tanaka is doing the Japanese dub for Luffy, she has to approach the same character from a different angle since this isn’t her Luffy, it’s Godoy’s. Same goes for the entire cast and their respective characters. It’s like they’re starting fresh.

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

is there a way to experience arknights that doesn't involve playing a gacha game? i kinda wanna see what it's deal is the girls in it are really hot

Yes there is!

There’s an online tool that lets you read the visual novel story sections: https://akgcc.github.io/cc/story.html. It lets you read the main story, event side stories, operator records (mini stories focused on specific operators), it even has modules (upgrades to operators that cost a lot of resources but also give you a short story blurb when you unlock them). It usually takes a bit for new stuff to get added, so it can’t really let you read along with the current ongoing events (unless you can read Chinese, the CN server is 6 months ahead of the global server and I think the story reader gets updates for their stories but I haven’t checked, it might just be the ones on global).

There are 2 8-episode seasons of an Arknights anime covering the first 2 parts of the main story. They’re called “Arknights: Prelude to Dawn” and “Arknights: Perish in Frost”

There are a handful of official manhua covering various groups of characters, including one for the main characters at Rhine Lab (American science company with a lot of well meaning characters working for a flawed corporation with ethics issues) and one for Blacksteel (the mercenary group with Franka, Liskarm, Jessica, and Vanilla, who I’ve been posting a lot about. The new event side story is about Jessica so that’s why. The mangadex fan translations of this one were tagged as “girls love” and then the official translation made it even gayer, highly recommend for foxgirl dragon girl yuri). As well as a few others. There’s even the mostly lighthearted Rhodes Island test kitchen series about different operators making different foods from their cultures and backgrounds and stuff, it’s very cute. Official translations are here https://www.arknights.global/comic but for the ones that haven’t been fully translated you can usually find them fan translated on mangadex.

Speaking of mangadex, there are also 2 other comic/manga/manhua things you can read. There is the light hearted 4 panel series “Arknights Operators!” that has short, usually comedic, comics about various operators and their lives on the Rhodes Island land ship. I don’t think it’s explicitly canon (it has a gag about Hoshiguma bumping into door frames bc she’s so tall, but her “canon height” is 5’11” [no one likes the canon heights]) but it’s pretty fun and cute.

And what I think is the last thing I have the mention is the Arknights anthology manga series. It’s explicitly non-canon as the comics are all made by guest artists, but it is officially published by Arknights. It was only published in Japanese but scanlators have translated a large portion of it and it’s very good.

[yuurei20]

Twst characters and “you” (pt2)

貴方 / あなた (anata) is more polite than 君 / キミ (kimi) but still not as polite as using a person’s name with an honorific.

Depending on the situation, it can sound either impersonal/distant or intimate, but like everything to do with language it depends heavily on context! It’s a common way for a wife to refer to her husband, for example, much like “honey” or “dear” in English, but it’s also used on public signage, in textbooks, etc., and can also come across as condescending depending on the role of the speaker in relation to the person being spoken to. Context is everything!

Q: “So it can sound BOTH distant AND intimate? And it’s used affectionately by married couples but can also be condescending?”

A: Yes! The Japanese language’s various “you”s are extremely context dependent!

Riddle switches to あなた (anata) when speaking to the invading CHARON and a STYX engineer, and when speaking to Malleus.

Deuce uses あなた (anata) with Vil in a vignette and Jack does as well during Beanfest, though he starts out with a very rude form of “you” (てめー (teme)) and self corrects once he realizes that it’s Vil whom he is speaking to.

あなた (anata) is the main form of “you” used by Azul.

貴方 / あなた (anata) is the only form of “you” that Jade ever seems to use.

あなた (anata) is one of the various forms of “you” used by Jamil.

He also uses it in kanji form (貴方) with Neige.

Rook also uses あなた (anata) with a STYX engineer, while Epel uses it upon meeting Ace and Silver for the first time.

In a rare exception for Ortho (who usually uses 君 (kimi)), he refers to Idia as あなた (anata) after Idia dismisses him from his role as his little brother, and he uses it with Malleus.

General Lilia uses it just once when speaking with Maleanor.

あなた (anata) is often Silver’s go-to form of “you” for upperclassmen such as Lilia, Malleus, Idia, Cater and Vil, and he also uses it for the Dawn Knight.

Sebek possibly only uses it rarely, such as after meeting Jamil for the first time and being impressed by his skills as Kalim’s bodyguard.

Baul does not seem to use あなた (anata) with anyone but Lilia.

Television staff use あなた(anata) when speaking with Vil, the fairies use it in reference to infant Silver, Trein uses it in reference to Crewel, and Fellow uses it with his employer as well as using あなた様 (anata-sama) when speaking with an unknown visitor.

[megyulmi]

➠ Symbolism of Yuuji’s childhood memories in Chapter 265 and how it connects to his conversation with Sukuna:

I was rereading the latest chapter and ended up dwelling on how the order in which certain things appear along the path Yuuji and Sukuna are walking connects with the progression of their conversation and the outcome of it, so I want to point out a few of such details in case someone else finds it interesting.

First, I will start with Morning Glory (asagao, 朝顔, lit. morning face) Yuuji mistakes Ajisai for. Asagao was brought to Japan with the advent of Buddhism and came to represent Enlightenment. When one thinks of the flower, an old line often comes to mind: [Asagao blossoms and fades quickly to prepare for tomorrow’s glory]. It is the theme of one of the oldest songs on the morning glory, written by the Chinese priest at the temple of Obaku near Uji, who is said to have been the first person to introduce the flower to Japan. Since its arrival, it has been a frequent theme in Japanese Buddhist poetry, particularly when writing on the fleeting condition of human lives, as the poets found a congenial subject in the morning glory, for they considered no flower has a briefer life and beauty, and the buds of yesterday are flowers to-day, but only for a few short hours, and then nothing will be left but ruin and decay; though how quickly fresh buds will appear and fresh flowers open to be the tomorrow’s ‘morning glory’. Therefore, in Japanese culture, asagao is a symbol of new beginnings. The flowers open in the morning, representing the dawn of a new day, and close in the evening, symbolising the end of the day and the passing of time.

Next comes Ajisai (紫陽花), the Japanese hydrangea. The flower has both positive and negative connotations in Japanese tradition, symbolising both deep or heartfelt emotion and also a fickle or changeable heart. However, I mentioned in this post that the blue hydrangea (I am assuming blue, because Yuuji mistook it for asagao) can mean sincerity, forgiveness, remorse and spirituality. Ajisai are also an important part of the ceremony in celebration of Buddha’s birthday (Kambutsue), where his statue is washed with sweet hydrangea tea by the visitors of the temples. As such they are often found at shrines and temples.

After that, Yuuji and Sukuna catch Crayfish. Interestingly, Buddhist philosophy references the crayfish when speaking about the temporary nature of existence. All that seems solid and permanent, like the crayfish shell, eventually disappears. There is a famous painting of Priest Xianzi (Japanese: Kensu) by Unkoku Tōgan from the Momoyama period. It depicts a seated figure of a Buddhist monk who appears to be contemplating the large crayfish (or shrimp). Kensu or Xianzi is a semi-legendary eccentric priest of the Tang dynasty, who spent much of his time wandering along riverbanks, eating crayfish and clams. He allegedly achieved Enlightenment while catching a crayfish.

Later they come across Horses, which hold a special place in Buddhism, embodying spiritual virtues and the timeless quest for Enlightenment. The story of Siddharta Gautama Buddha’s renunciation and his separation from his beloved horse, Kanthaka, is a significant story in Buddhism. As Siddharta decided to leave behind his life of luxury and embark on a spiritual journey, he faced the task of saying goodbye to his beloved horse. The separation from Kanthaka symbolises the profound sacrifice he took when he renounced worldly attachments in the pursuit of Enlightenment. Additionally, in the Shamanistic tradition of East Asia and Central Asia, there is a concept of the Wind Horse, a flying horse that is the symbol of the human soul. In Tibetan Buddhism, it was included as the pivotal element in the centre of the four animals symbolising the cardinal directions.

After the horses, we see them engage in Archery. As a Buddhist symbol, the bow and arrow are found throughout the art, mythology and theology; held by gods, part of vivid legends, lauded in sacred texts and painted on the walls of the temple fortresses. They are symbols of the wisdom and compassion of the Buddha. Just as the arrow flies straight to its target, so too must the mind of the archer be focused and free from distractions.

And lastly, Snow. As a symbol of purity, it is taken as representative of naive innocence behind heroic undertakings. In this regard, it is also a subject of paintings in special combination with cherry blossoms as a symbol of what is ephemeral and transitional as is the life of the hero. However, snow is often associated in the Japanese short poetry with the Zen notion of Emptiness. This is because, to quote the poet Naitō Jōsō, snow covers and clears everything: [fields and mountains / all taken by snow / nothing remains]. From the lens of Buddhism, as the defilements—greed, hatred, and delusion—melt away like snow, the process of purification speeds up our relinquishment of impurity. To do this, one needs to be able to feel their humanity from within, where the invisible factors of mindfulness, clarity, faith, energy, concentration, and wisdom can dismantle and dissolve years of deluded ways of perception, of relating to life. Only then will the ground of awakening begin to appear.

I find Yuuji’s conversation with Sukuna to be rich in symbolism, each element along their path reflecting deeper themes of compassion and Enlightenment. Their journey begins with the morning glory, symbolising a new beginning and Yuuji’s offer of redemption to Sukuna. The hydrangeas, mistakenly identified as morning glories by him, signify Yuuji’s readiness and offer of remorse as he sincerely reminisces on his childhood with him. The appearance of the crayfish continues this theme, highlighting that this conversation is a chance for Sukuna to contemplate the temporary nature of existence and the path he wants to continue leading from there on. The horses, embodying spiritual virtues and the timeless quest for Enlightenment, appear as Yuuji’s way of asking him to renounce his old ways in pursuit of Enlightenment, followed by Archery right after, emphasising his readiness for compassion despite all Sukuna has done to him, mirroring the Buddhist ideal of a concentrated, undistracted mind. And lastly, comes snow as a symbol of purity and the potential for redemption, evoking the Zen notion of emptiness and the purification of defilements. Yuuji, by invoking these symbols, offers Sukuna the last chance at redemption and Enlightenment. He shows Sukuna the final act of compassion if Sukuna shows remorse, which Sukuna refuses.

In the end, Yuuji and Sukuna walk the same path, but their choices lead them in opposite directions. Yuuji embraces the symbols of Enlightenment, striving for a higher understanding and compassion, whereas Sukuna rejects these ideals, choosing instead to renounce the path to Enlightenment.

[its-dari]

The Loving Hands of God

Creator AU - Where the reader is treated like a diety by the characters of Genshin Impact

Pairing(s): None || PLATONIC: Son! Wanderer & Parental! Gender Neutral! Creator! Reader Summary: He is reminded everyday that you chose him. But some days are harder than others; and he's grateful to have you sweep the cloudy skies away.

A/N: I don't really play Genshin but here we are, I'm just getting out my ideas - don't mind me.

This Wanderer is named "Kaito(神愛)", with the characters written for "god" and "love". I thought it could be cute to kind of give a call back to his origin but something also to remind him of how far he's come. He also calls the reader "Oya", which is the best thing I could get to a gender neutral Japanese term for mother or father.

I won't be taking requests! This is most likely a one time thing. This is also inspired by "this lovely piece" by @dropletpetals

(Extra Miscellaneous HCs: "The Son of Graces")

Warning(s): Wanderer backstory spoilers! Some revenge. This was written on my phone so forgive any errors.

Over grassy, rolling knolls - filled to the brim with blooming flowers in his favorite colors and breeds. Even under the loving warmth of sun on his cheeks and clouds turning themselves into the childish shapes of his desire. Even as the song on the winds speak his new name into his ears, the bonfires below burning it up so it reached the heavens. to the voices of acolytes proclaiming it so...

He was worried.

Worried and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He was unwanted everywhere else.

By his mother, who made him a puppet - who left him with no identity or name

By the Fatui, who deemed him unworthy.

So when it came to be; the Creator's return to the mortal plane...

When he'd come to demand answers, angry about simply existing.

Your voice so gentle and warm, apologizing that you were not there to help him when he called to your name in begs and prayers. When the world you made and hurt him so much and how sorry you were that it treated him so cruelly... He felt the sincerity pouring through every pore, it washed over him - like a blanket.

You understood his pain.

He found that you had long since been asleep, since the dawn of the Archonic creation. Even the small bit of divinity used to create each drained your body, already tired from forming Teyvat with your hands. So you could not know of the acts being committed in your name, what those of your own blood were doing.

"If I had known one of mine created their own, I would have cherished them like I did them." You said with a softness only rivaled by your hands.

He had fallen to his knees, unable to stand after the crushing weight of pain fell upon him. You were not completely blameless...

But you did not lie to him.

Did not abandon him.

You stayed until the tears dried up, stroking his sore eyes.

"So now that I know she did not love you like you deserve... You are mine now." He nearly fell again, but your embrace held him up. "You will be my son... And I will give you everything."

How it was so warm and loving, arms cradling him as if he were nothing more than a babe. His hands white-knuckling at your divine robes as he just sniveled into your chest, no doubt covering them in his snot and tears... But you didn't care, cooing sweetly to the boy about how he's already made you proud. How you already loved him.

He nearly cried again when you gave him his name.

"You will be my son, so your name will have our title."

You pondered about it for a while before having a servant fetched ink and parchment. It was a bit unusual, seeing you hold the calligraphy brush. Seeing the ink touching the edges if your sleeves and staining them, but you just smile so brightly when it is finished.

「神愛」

He longed for a place to belong, for an identity... For someone or something to give him worth.

You have given him all these things.

He was uncomfortable at first having it, as it was blatantly a reminder of his lineage. of the woman who abandoned him... Of beelzebul.

But you only smiled.

"It is to remind everyone where you started," your hands come to guide him "and how far you've come."

"The character for god, so you always remember me and so I am always with you." You hummed a lullby as the strokes appeared across the parchment. "And the character for love so you know how much I have for you."

He smudges ink on his robes too, unable to stop smiling as his whispered his name to himself.

Kaito was the name on the tongues of the acolytes once his adoption was raised outside your walls domain. Call of festivals was announced to welcome him into the fold, into the public, as the beloved son of Teyvat's dear Creator soon to be celebrated as well.

For if he was worthy in the eyes of the Creator; he should also be worshipped.

He laughed at Beelzebul's frantic correspondence sent to you; of which descended into begging for at least a letter to be sent... You had found yourself simply unable to deal with her after finding out what she'd done to him, decidedly icing her out on his behalf.

It was a wonderful feeling being loved, as sweet as it would be showing her what had become of her puppet.

He allowed an invitation to his coronation be sent to her, despite your worries about his mental health.

"Are you sure you want to see her, dear? it'd be so dreadful if she ruined your special day." You asked him gently, your concern making his cold heart swell.

"I will be fine," he insisted as you settle another crown to test on his head, amused "it will show her what she missed and how much it cost her."

You laughed at the cruelty but don't otherwise protest.

You didn't find a crown suited to him that day, though you thanked the providers. The items were returned and shop-keeps were able to keep them as they were considered beautiful pieces by the creator.

The day came and he still did not have a crown.

But he trusted you to find one, as you insisted it would be only appropriate as he was your son.

The day had come quicker than he would have liked, how he was primped and cleansed - donning the celestial robes of the creator.

Of you, his darling guardian.

They were deep violet, small pearlescent spots likes stars crawling up the gold trimmed edges. His under clothes blacker than the abyss, the servants in awe of his beauty. Leaving him bashfully flushing and modestly brushing off their assorted compliments. He dripped in opulence, gold pieces to accent his looks as the crackle of blessing came from the Gnosis you made personally for him.

As he finally was ready, he wondered if he was worthy.

Your eyes sparkled like gems when you saw him, taking him in your open arms and bursting in joy. Happy to see him looking so handsome and playfully crooning about his future partner in a manner that made him absolutely red in embarrassment.

You only laughed and softly spoke, "Come baby, there is a whole world to show that you are worthy of worship."

His hand was clasped in your's, the walk slow and almost agonizing. The chattering of people growing less distant with the passing moments, his hands shake and he needed a second as you stepped onto the balcony first.

The cheers of Teyvat boomed like a sonic roar, your hymns and prayers called to the wind as the ground and skies bellowed your name. He is terrified....

But he is ready.

You lifted your hands for silence, still smiling as bright and as warm as the sun. The hush that came was nearly instant, eager faces peering up in utter reverence. Archons on high waiting to hear your lovely voice.

"My dear creations, Teyvat.... As you have heard, I have found a son." The cheers from below just made you smile wider "It is much more than just finding someone worthy to hold my place and succeed me, it is because I love this boy... Love him so dearly that I wanted him as my own, he deserves your worship. Deserves to be loved as much as I. He'd gone through much pain and it broke my heart to know that this world that I made treats its kind people with such cruelty."

Your eyes watered when the people join together, holding hands and each other.

"If I could take all the suffering, I would... But feeling and understanding pain is what shows we are alive, that we are stronger for persevering." your voice shook, "And my poor boy had been through so much."

Your hands wipe your eyes and they watch, captivated at your grace and beauty - even in your sorrow. But then you give them a smile again and step aside, calling to the masses in pride that is so reminiscent of a parent.

"I, the All-Creator, Jewel of Celestia, have the greatest pleasure to present to you; your prince and my son..." The curtains pull back and he walked onto the balcony, beams of light shining off his hair and deep eyes. "Young lord Kaito of Teyvat!!!"

The screams would be deafening if you both weren't so high up, the chants of his new name louder than he can even think. The shouts of praise nearly make him shrink, but he stood tall. Especially as your hand touched his back, as your smiling face came into his peripheral. With his head up, he looked at them dead on and waved.

He smiled.

Especially as his sharp eyes caught Beelzebul's pale, shocked face. but the fuzzy warmth in his chest only grew as your fingers touched the top of his head.

From your touch, your grace washed over him. The weight of a diadem formed on his head. The Gnosis on his chest buzzed to life and his body rolled in a brightness rivaled only by the stars, from his skin to his blood - it was if he was charged with energy. A power that was unlike anything else he'd ever had.

"Divinity suits you, Kaito." You hummed, taking his hand.

Kaito smiled shyly and just squeezed your hand and whispered, "Only because I take after you, Oya."

At your side, he finally has a place.

He finally has his rightful godly status.

As he looked to see pride in your glittering tears and smile nearly blinding... A peace like no other settled within him.

He belongs.

He is worthy.

[bookskeepers]

a million dreams - sugawara kōshi

pairing: timeskip ! sugawara kōshi x nb ! afab ! reader

word count: 2,843

content warning: angst. angst. angst. (or at least an attempt to write angst idk if it's successful), established relationship, afab ! reader (because pregnancy sorry gang :( ), suga DIES, car accident (mentions), pregnancy, birth, omgomg, you have a daughter that looks exactly like suga too B)

a/n: why does my mind do this to me (i'm listening to the greatest showman while writing this) (Also i don't speak japanese so if the whole 'kanji' thing is wrong pls lmk)

also i feel like i accidentally veer it towards daichi x reader at some points but i promise it's only platonic between them

BEFORE

"We're gonna have two kids," he said in the dim lighting, his hands entwined with yours. "And a big house with a big backyard for a dog." Your head was tucked into his chest, and you could feel his soft breaths against your forehead. His arms were securely wrapped around you. The vibrations of his voice felt in time with your heartbeat, and you were content. Wholly, truly content in your boyfriend's arms, finding yourself drifting off to sleep as he rambled about his future plans that involved you.

As your eyelids grew heavy and finally closed, you heard him murmur: "We'll name the daughter Harumi and the son Koji, of course."

"Don't I get a say?" you asked then, a playful edge in your tone as you nuzzled further into his chest.

He chuckles into your hair, and you can feel his chest shake. "Of course you get a say," he replied when his laughter died down, "after all, you're going to be their parent too."

It was as if everything in Sugawara's life went according to plan. The next morning, the two of you had your marriage ceremony and wedding. The guest list was on the smaller side, with close friends and family being invited; you recognized familiar faces from Sugawara's time in his high school volley ball club. Your parents were present, along with other extended family members. The event itself went off without a hitch, and, after six years together, you could finally call Sugawara your husband.

After that, it felt like time flew. Before you knew it, you were moving out of your small, shared apartment into a much larger house. Although it wasn't huge by any means, it had enough space for Sugawara's plans: two kids and a dog. And soon, the dog joined the family.

Sugawara had insisted on naming the dog Cheeseball (despite the dog being a Bernese Mountain Dog mix), and Cheeseball was perhaps the second light of Sugawara's life. When he was home, most of his time was spent on the couch, you nuzzled into his side, and Cheeseball laying across both of your laps.

A year or two after Cheeseball joined the family, your first daughter was born. Despite giving Sugawara sass for his choices in names, the two of you ended up agreeing on Harumi, and it was spelt with the kanji for 'sunny'. She had been born at the crack of dawn, hence her name.

As Harumi grew up, it became more and more evident that she was a carbon copy of Sugawara, save for the beauty mark. Her hair was a silky silver and her eyes were a deep brown. She even had a personality similar to that of your husband's: bright, cheerful, and chaotic.

Your life with Sugawara was picture perfect. Of course, of course, it all came crashing down.

It had happened while you were pregnant with your second child. Right after the ultrasound that revealed the baby's sex, no less. You had wanted it to be a surprise, so the technician had told Sugawara. Once the two of you got home, you nestled into your usual spot on the couch and smiled at him sweetly as Cheeseball hopped up and rested his head on your lap.

"Kōshi," you began, your voice dripping with honey, "can you do me a big, big favor?"

He returns your sweet smile with a knowing look, giving you a soft snort before responding. "Yes, my love?"

"I'm really craving cake right now." As if to prove your point, your stomach chose that moment to grumble rather loudly. "And I was thinking, maybe you could get a blue cake or a pink cake for the baby?"

He ruffled your hair before walking towards the entrance of the house, the car keys jingling in his hand. "I'll be back shortly with your sex reveal cake," he called out. The sound of the door slamming shut followed soon after.

You took a quick look at your phone to check the time -- 11:29am -- before turning the TV on to watch something while you waited for Sugawara to return. One hand stroked Cheeseball's soft fur while the other manipulated the remote to try and find a movie or show that piqued your interest.

After settling on a TV show about forensic psychologists and criminal profiling, you found your attention rapt by the show. After watching several episodes, Cheeseball barked. The sound of a door opening indicated that someone was home, and your brow began to furrow after Harumi entered the living room.

"Where's Papa?" Harumi asked, setting her backpack down on the table. Her silvery hair was in two pigtails, a bright gleam in her eyes. "He said he'd tell me if I'm gonna be a big sister or a big brother!"

You chuckled lightly at your daughter, patting the spot on the couch next to you. Another quick glance at your phone revealed that the time was 2:37pm -- four hours since Sugawara had left for the grocery store to get a cake. Anxiety began crawling its way through your system, heading for your heart.

"I don't know where he is," you told your six year old. "I asked him to go to the store and get cake to celebrate finding out! And, you're going to be a sister regardless of what the baby is. We get to find out if you're getting a new sister or a new brother."

Harumi nodded, hanging on to your every word. "I knew that," she huffed. After a brief period of silence, she added a tentative: "Maybe you should call Papa?"

"Good idea," you replied, kissing the top of her head before unlocking your phone and making your way to your contacts. As your finger hovered over the call button next to Sugawara's name, the home phone began to ring.

The anxiety that had been making its way through your body suddenly sank its claws into your heart. No one ever called the home phone. The only reason Sugawara even insisted on one was because it fit his idea of the perfect house. Standing up on shaky legs, you made your way over to the TV stand, picking the phone up from its cradle. You didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" you asked quietly, cursing the slight tremor in your voice. Your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest, roaring in your ears -- you wouldn't be surprised if whoever was on the other end could hear it.

"Is this the Sugawara household?" the strannger questioned.

You recognized the voice almost instantly -- it was Daichi Sawamura, one of Sugawara's closest friends from high school. All it took was those five words for your world to start breaking apart.

"Hi, Daichi," you whispered. You glanced over your shoulder, meeting Harumi's big, brown eyes as she looked at you curiously. "Um, this is the Sugawara household, yes. If you needed something, you could've called my cell. Is everything alright?"

It took a tremendous amount of effort for you to speak in an even voice, to try and seem like you didn't know the next words that were going to come out of the phone.

You heard Daichi take a trembling breath from the other side of the phone, and you tried your best to steel your nerves for whatever he was going to say. Cheeseball chose that moment to get off the couch and pad over to you, as if the dog was aware of what was about to happen. Before Daichi even spoke, you found that tears had begun to stream down your face. "Sugawara -- no, Kōshi -- was in an accident." Another deep, shaky breath. "He didn't make it."

When you officially received the news, it had taken every ounce in you not to fall to your knees. Instead, you expressed the terror coursing through your veins by placing a hand underneath your small-but-noticeable baby bump. "Thank... thank you for telling me, Daichi." You placed the phone back in its cradle, not willing to wait for his response.

The hardest thing in your life was breaking the news to Harumi. How does one tell their child that their faither's never coming home again? How do you explain death in terms that a six year old will understand?

The sobs that tore from your daughter's throat when you told her moments later broke your heart even more. Beyond the pain in your chest, you felt numb, as if what was happening was happening to someone else, as if someone else's husband died on the way back from the grocery store with a blue cake in the passenger seat, as if it were a scene in a movie that you were watching.

You had slept in your once-shared bed that night, longing for the feeling of Sugawara's weight making the mattress dip beside you. You tossed and turned, and sleep didn't come until Harumi had made her way into your room. "Mommy, I can't sleep."

You sat up straight in the bed, holding your arms open for her. "Come here, then," you whispered into the dark room, watching her vague form clamber onto the bed before nuzzling into your chest.

You finally fell asleep with your daughter in your arms.

PRESENT

After that first night without him, you had gone through the motions. Harumi had insisted on going to school, saying something about not wanting to break her routine and "get stuck in the sad." For a six year old, she was wise.

You had covered the shrine in your house with white paper and closed its doors. You had set up a small table next to Sugawara's side of the bed, adorning it with his favorite flowers and jasmine-scented incense. You had called a temple, both grateful for and disgusted by the lack of emotion in your voice when you scheduled your husband's funeral service.

You're now standing next to his coffin, watching as people who knew your husband mill about the temple room. Harumi's by your side, her hand tightly gripping yours. You spot the familiar orange of Hinata's hair, the broad frame of Tsukishima, the angular jaw of Daichi. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest as you notice the three of them approaching you.

You find yourself wondering, in that moment, what it must've been like for Daichi -- your husband's closest friend -- to not only find Sugawara in the car, but to have to report it to you. You watch as his features mold into a soft, sad smile. Tsukishima and Hinata have similar expressions on their faces.

The three of them each hand you one of many black envelopes you've already received, and you hand them to Harumi. You watch as she scampers off to place them with the rest, that silky silver hair of hers flowing freely behind her.

"How's she handling it?" Daichi finally asks, breaking the silence. Hinata and Tsukishima seem to take this as a sign, offering you their condolences before retreating back into the crowd. Your eyes don't miss the approaching form of your husband's other close friend, Asahi Azumane.

"She didn't want to stop going to school," you reply after a few moments. "She said it was because she didn't want to get stuck in her sadness."

"Wise kid," Asahi comments as he finally reaches the two of you. "May he rest in peace." He tilts his head towards Sugawara's coffin before nodding at you.

You nod in return, engaging in mindless conversation with the other two. You listen as they reminisce over their shared experiences in their high school volleyball club and watching their underclassmen become world-famous pros. You listen as their words flow in one ear and go right out the other. Before long, the wake begins in earnest. The priest goes to the front of the room and begins reciting a sutra, and you and Harumi place incense in the urn a total of three times.

The rest of the day passes in a blur.

That night, you're in your much-too-big bed, staring at the ceiling. Sleep stays a fair distance away from you until Harumi reappears in your doorway, around the same night she's done it every time. She nestles into the comfort of your arms, and you can feel the soft rise and fall associated with her breaths.

"Mommy," she says softly in the dark. "I miss Papa."

As if to make up for all the emotions you hadn't felt since his passing, the grief and the guilt come crashing down. You're suddenly too overwhelmed to speak, instead opting to hold your daughter tighter. She returns your squeeze with one of her own, being mindful of the bump of your stomach.

"Do you think my new brother will look like him?"

It takes you some time to trust your voice to speak. "I hope so," you manage to whisper. Harumi doesn't respond, and you can tell that she's fallen asleep.

At the end of the funeral on the following day, you watch as Sugawara's friends place a variety of flowers around his head in the coffin. You watch as Asahi lifts your daughter up with ease so she can add some flowers of her own. Your eyes follow their movements as they close the coffin and nail the lid shut with a stone.

You're grateful for the presence of Sugawara's family at the cremation afterwards, thankful for the steady hands of his parents as they assist you in picking the bones out from the ashes. You're thankful for Asahi and Daichi as well, since they've taken it upon themselves to babysit Harumi while you're preoccupied with this.

You, along with Sugawara's parents, walk towards the temple's lower rooms with the urn holding his remains in your arms. You're the one who places the urn in the small box. A small screen next to the locker-esque grave turns on, and your husband's face smiles at you brightly.

A sob escapes your throat, and tears begin to stream down your face. Sugawara's mother echoes the sentiment as the photo of her son shines brightly in the otherwise dim room. You take shaky, gasping breaths as the photo stares at you before you turn on your heel and leave.

AFTER

It's been several months since his passing. Your baby bump has only grown in size, and you're met with ferocious kicks at every time of day.

During the day, Harumi goes to school as normal. At night, she no longer tries to sleep in her own bed before coming to yours, instead opting to just start the night off in your bed. You find that sleep overtakes you with more ease when your arms are wrapped around your daughter.

It's not long before the sharp, stabbing pains of labor overwhelm you one day while you're at home. Daichi had forced himself to be on your phone's speed dial ever since you told him about the baby boy's kicking, and he is who you call when the time between contractions dwindles from hours to minutes, when the contractions themselves start lasting longer and longer. He's at your door quickly, ushering you into his police car and using the sirens to clear traffic. In between the bursts of pain, you find yourself wondering if it's legal.

When the two of you reach the hospital, you tell him to go get your daughter from the school before you're whisked away by the nurses. As your labor progresses and the baby's closer to being born, you hear Harumi's excited voice from the hallway. It's at this point that the door is closed so you can focus on your task at hand.

Within several hours, your new son is born. The sound of his cries echo throughout the small hospital room, and you watch as the nurses clean him up and wrap him in a soft blue blanket. They hand him to you before one opens the door and beckons for those who are waiting to come in.

Sugawara's parents enter along with yours after Harumi dashes in. She's at your bedside in seconds, jumping on the balls of her feet out of excitement. Your breath catches in your throat as the light shines on her silvery hair, your heart stinging at just how much she looks like Sugawara.

"Mommy, mommy, what's his name? Have you given him a name yet? Can we name him... can we name him Cheeseball?"

Your own mother laughs in response to that as your father picks Harumi up off the ground. "You can't name him Cheeseball," he says, "that's the name of your dog!"

Their conversation fades out of your focus as you gaze down at the little bundle in your arms. The faint hairs lining his forehead are the same shade as your own. You softly rub his nose with your finger, and you watch as his grubby arms escape the blanket and grab at your digit. His name comes to you with ease.

"Hi, Koji," you whisper.

[shirotaangel]

࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔ Magdalena: Black Dragons

- SCENE I, ACT II

- SYNOPSIS: Koko will do whatever it damn takes to buy you.

- PREVIOUS: Scene I

tw : human-trafficking and purchase, smoking, communism, lowkey blackmail, Koko is a clever bitch.

╰┈➤ KOKONOI LINGERED BY THE STALL of the pawnshop, bent down to look at the gold on display behind the glass. He recognized most of them are white gold from Arabia, some he knew by baser instincts is actually iron covered in shimmering yellow paint.

He hummed and stood upright, stretching his slender back.

It was a little off of five, the sky already switching to purple. He came specifically since he thought it'll be less hotter at dawn.

Kyoto is quite hot in these days of October,  the sun can almost be seen melting the lacquer off of the beams of the ancient palaces. A sight to see. But Koko is never one for sightseeing, anyway.

He came here for you. But before that, there were steps. He hated it. It's an inconvenience, really, but the more he thought about it, it brings a smile to his face.

That made you more desirable. This long, dragging process in order to breathe the same air as you - Ah.

"Excuse me," Kokonoi rapped his leather-gloved knuckles on the glass of the pawnshop, "Where can I inquire about Tourism?"

"On the right, second door," the man bent over a spread of silver rings replied, "wait your turn."

Kokonoi hummed and went into the green-lit hallway of the building. The plaster was peeling off the walls, and a ceiling fan buzzed in Kokonoi's ear, producing more noise than the cool air he needed.

Hooking a finger in his collar to release tension, he sat down on the rusting stool by the fish tank, clicking his tongue. Goldfish, eight of them, swam in dark green water.

They're lucky. They might die in a few days but at least they die cool, comfortable deaths. Koko rolled his eyes. They may lose their lives but he lost something more. No amount of goldfish lives will account for that.

Actually no, he hasn't lost everything yet. Yet. If he has, he won't be here in Kyoto, of all places. He hated Kyoto. He always thought he'd be caught dead before he's seen stepping her ever again.

Kokonoi crossed his legs, staring impatiently at the door in front of him, the second in a rotw here in the green hallway. The door is not a door. It's a rectangle space with a flower-printed plastic as it's door. Cheap, but it makes do.

A pair of Americans exited it, laughing and satisfied. Koko pitied them. They're used to the cold in their Western country. Maybe they'll die first before the goldfish does.

Kokonoi strolled into the flower cover of the door, raising his thin brow at the vile smell of cigarettes in the small, cramped room.

Tourism posters in red inks were pasted to hide the ruined walls, stacks of dusty folders were scattered on the tiled floor. Koko took a seat in front of the table, where a small radio played something Luciano Pavarotti beside a grumbling mini fan.

Koko noticed on the right wall hung a yellowing photo of Mao Zedong.

"You're Communist?" Koko asked the woman behind the table wearing an orange qipao.

The woman, maybe somewhere between fifty and sixty, was flipping through a black binder for accounts.

"Force of habit to have that picture," she raised her head, "I was born when the CCP still lived."

"But you speak Japanese," Koko reasoned, tapping his leather-clad fingers on the glass of the table. There are red tickets behind it written in Cantonese.

"I speak all the languages, boy," the woman snorted, "you should've done the same - it could've gave you better chances of winning my little Oiran over."

Kokonoi raised his brow, challenged, "she told you?"

"Why not? We'revery close." The woman raised her sagging arms, "if that girl wasn't so pretty, she could've passed as my daughter."

"Of course she did," Kokonoi muttered bitterly, sticking his pointy tongue against the inside of his cheek.

"Come now," the woman smiled, "why? What do you want with my beautiful girl? She has no time for you. A hundred kings are waiting for her as we speak."

"Half of them not as profitable as I am," Kokonoi answered, tilting his clever head, "where is she right now."

"Sleeping," the woman puffed out acrid smoke from her bony nose.

"Let me see her."

"Why?"

"Because I want her," kokonoi pressed, leaning his weight on an elbow he put on the table, "you out of everyone know what the benefits are when the most beautiful woman in the world is in your side."

"Exactly," the woman looks at him pointedly, "so why do you think I'll give her away just like that? Do you know how many men, powerful men, go through that door to pay me millions for her?"

"One of them me," Kokonoi says defiantly,  "madame, I'm here for a business proposition."

The woman looked at him suspiciously, tapping her cigarette on an ashtray the shape of a dragon head.

"Go on," she urged.

Kokonoi smiled, leaning coolly on his chair. He made this offer days ahead, filled the loopholes and cracks that might fault his argument. It's flawless. He was proud of himself for being so smart. So clever.

"The Oiran's men, all three thousand two hundred and four of them, made you a rich woman, haven't day?" Koko said calmly, proud again for his research, "but not a single one of them are patrons."

The woman glared at him. At this, Koko knew he struck a nerve. He sent one of his men from his division to bribe the older girls in the brothel. They liked to be paid more for information than for sex.

Knowledge, Kokonoi knew, is the divine currency. Oh, if only this woman knew how rich he is right now.

"As Treasurer and Captain, Black Dragon earns a total of three million yen per month, a maximum of five if the - " Kokonoi tilts his head, grinning, "weather is good."

"Go on," she flicked her head.

Kokonoi couldn't believe it - how easy it is to have the woman who owned you to lean towards him in interest, seconds away from giving him her terms of agreement.

He found that, no matter the amount t of money she receives from the you, it's unstable income. He learned you were bedridden from a fever two years ago. The brothel was forced to sell ten girls in the Vietnamese black market just to go by until you healed..

Roppongi also, is an untrustworthy finance. The connection between it and Kyoto, Koko knew, is illegal. The imports exchanged are always delayed because the police trace the money transfers -  another unstable income.

Only Koko can save them all.

"Shiba Taiju, tenth Generation Commander of the Black Dragons, will be your patron," Kokonoi raised his hands in welcome, "finally you have something to make your business a less bit illegal."

There. He said it. Kokonoi loved the shifting of the woman's wrinkled expression, all of which leads only to one.

"Fine," she groaned, "fine."

Kokonoi, triumphant, smiled and laced his fingers over his knee. The woman sighed, deflating back on her chair.

"But you know her, don't you?" She raised her brow, "my pretty, pretty girl?"

Kokonoi was silent for a moment, a flash of memory crossing his head. It made him smile and frown, excited and furious. You're beautiful, the most beautiful he's ever seen.

"Come to Black Dragons," he told you.

"Why should I?" You asked, glowing like a beautiful torch in your red cheongsam.

His answer was what all the women in the world would come running down to grasp, to eat.

"Because you'll be free," Kokonoi said.

Kokonoi offered you something your circumstance can never give. He dangled it in front of your perfect face, all you needed to say was -

"No," you told him.

That was it. Kokonoi could never forget how he bit his lip until it bled when he rode to Taiju at the back of Inupi's bike, leaving the Jansou where you poised and sat by the Mahjongg table you played on with him.

Koko looked at the brothel madame, "of course I do."

"Then you know she'll say no," the woman says, lighting herself another cigarette, "that girl is more beautiful than anyone and anything - it's a given her reasons aren't like most, too."

He knows that. Of course he fucking does. Kokonoi shrugged, "when can I see her?"

"Now."

Kokonoi smiled. You don't want freedom. It's even possible you might not want anything at all.

He remembers it, that look of yours. The endless depths of nothingness swimming under you perfect, perfect skin. Try as he might, he can't really do anything about it.

But he'll get you. Oh yes. He'll get you.

copyright belongs to @shirotaangel

[sweetbunpura]

Since spooky season is just around the corner and you already made a post about the Halloween event(s), what kind of costumes do you think Rollo and Yuu would wear, if any at all? Would they do couples costumes??

Since skeleton, vampire, mummy, pirate, knight (headless horseman), werewolves, and jiangshi (Chinese hopping vampire) are taken. The two bounce ideas, Rollo suggests a priest and a nun, but quickly pushes it aside at Yuu suggesting a different version of the nun outfit. Grim said they should go as ghosts, but Rollo veto'd it.

"Damn, most couples costumes are normally comedic..." Yuu grumbles, pacing the floor of the lounge room.

The ghosts float above the couch as Rollo marks out another idea on his notepad, Grim digging through the bowl of candy until Rollo pulls his paw out.

"Perhaps we should pick something from your world?" He hands Grim a lollipop before the feline starts to complain.

"Well, my world is pretty close to how yours is in terms of costume ideas."

"Hmm."

"Hey, you recognized Horns costume." Grim said. "Why don't we pick something like that?"

"A jiangshi?"

"Yeah, but do it in whatever language you speak. I forgot what it was called."

"Japanese? You're asking for me to pick a japanese mon-" Yuu froze as an idea dawn on her. "Yokai, we could be Yokai!" She picks Grim up and spins him around. "Thank you, Grim!"

Yuu takes off out of Ramshackle, leaving the two confused as to what just happened. A few days before the Halloween events kick off, Yuu shows up with 3 boxes and a gleeful smile on her face.

While everyone dresses up, all eyes flick towards the Ramshackle trio as they appear in their costumes. Grim's a Gotoku Neko, Rollo a male gray kitsune, and Yuu is a female black kitsune. While everyone looks at them, stunned, Yuu runs over to hug Crewel and Vil.

[strawberrystepmom]

tsukasa x f!reader but very heavily self ship coded for @izvmimi <333 some good old fashioned pining as she deserves.

The quiet of the night is when it dawns on Tsukasa that his slow descent into falling in love with you is no longer something he can ignore.

You spent hours with him in his chambers tonight, fire crackling and bathing your face in warm light. He watched you warm your tired fingers by the flames, stretching each of them patiently while speaking. Genuine laughter bubbled out of him at your jokes and stories, gratefulness searing through him at every smile you cast his direction.

It’s why he can’t sleep, instead pushing at the embers of the fire that has been slowly dying every moment since your departure. The absence of your voice and your broken attempts at Japanese that give way to joyous English have left him with too much alone time to ponder how he ended up here. 

Do I even know what love is? 

The question weighs him down where he sits, his arms resting against his knees that are pulled up and toward his chest. He probably looks far more childlike than he ever has sitting in this position, head slumped to the side and hair spilling down his shoulders. Does he know what love is? 

There has never quite been an abundance of it in his life, his parents too preoccupied with their own struggles and demons to concern themselves with his. They may have loved him at one point but those days are so far passed now, it doesn’t make him feel hurt or happy to think of them. It simply doesn’t matter if they loved him or not, they can never make amends for it now. 

Thinking of his parents makes him think of his sister, a thought he accepts with a defeated sigh. He knows he loves Mirai and that in all likelihood she’s probably the only thing that has ever really loved him back and now that he’s thinking, he saw love even when she was looking thinner and paler by the day in her hospital bed. 

Love was stored in the machines that kept her alive, he thought, despite science truly being the key to keeping her body capable of existing. Love was stored in the bouquet he’d bought from the flower shop on the corner outside of the hospital, something beautiful for her to look at on the off chance she arose. Love was the doctor reassuringly patting his forearm every time he visited, a gentle reminder that they were there to help. 

So he does know what love is yet he still agonizes over being in love. 

This is where he feels blindsided, knowing love lives in the musical notes of your laugh and the curls in your hair. The shape of your hands when you curl them around one of the tea cups he only drags out for you and when you use them to gauge the temperature of your patients by touch. Love is your smile, the wrinkle of your nose, the natural set of your eyebrows…

Love is everything you are. It makes him ache to wonder if he could ever be worthy of this same agony from you. Are you stoking a fire sadly in your own home, wondering how it would feel to jump feet first into love instead of wondering if you’re deserving of it? 

Surely not you, the woman most worthy of love he can imagine.

The embers further burn out and Tsukasa resolves to turn in for the night but not before hoping, wishing, perhaps even praying in the way he has seen the herbalist on a few occasions, that you intrinsically know how loved you are. How you are the reason the world turns, as far as he’s concerned. That the only thing worth being depetrified for, aside from his sister, is the hope of spending another day near you. 

His heart beats so hard against his chest he can almost convince himself the magic carried in his hopes is working, each pound of the muscle keeping him alive echoing the sound of your name in his ears. 

[violetvenom]

Okay, here comes a post I wanted to do for a long long while and I summon all the fellow Walter enjoyers for this.

In the last 2 years I've rewatched and reread Hellsing several times and I have to admit I love to analyse stuff. So naturally a lot of questions popped into my mind regarding my fav character.

But one question stood out in particular: What the fuck is Walter? Yes, you've read this right..what..not who!

Yes, there is a theory in the fandom I think not many people know of or even care for, which actually makes a lot of sense. It's clear he his human (except at the end of the main story) but I think I speak for us all that his abilities are way over the top for a mere human. Some peple will probably know where this is going..but before I start explaining, I just want to clarify I will cite and take references and informations from several fan translations, fansubs and the official German translation of the manga. I just started to collect the new edition of the English one, so I can't properly refer to them but please feel free to fill me in with the old English version if there are drastic differences in context.

With this said..let's go trough what we know about Walter step by step:

We will start chronological with his youngest persona we saw: Young Walter or how the Japanese like to call him; Sholter.

So in The Dawn we get a throwback to a 14-year old Walter, who get's send on the mission to fight the Nazis in Warsaw in 1944. At the round table he gets praised by Arthur as the "strongest human of their existing militants".

So this clears Walter is in fact human and not something else, and also Hellsing's top figther. Alucard doesn't count here since he is a vampire and the secret special weapon.

We learn from Alucard that he officially must have met Walter when he was just mere 9 years old. Citing Girlycard here:

Hellsing's main story plays in 1999 and Walter is 69 at this point...that's simple math.

And this actually makes sense. When Girlycard and Walter get sent to Warsaw you can tell they already know each other. I won't dive deep into their dynamic here because I plan to do a seperate post for this, but I think the most notable moment to make that point clear is when Walter insults and questions "Bastard. Where's your shape?".

Or how it got translated in one fansub:

While Walter asks this, Alucard is already manifesting as Girlycard, stating "the form I take means nothing to me". So it's pretty safe to say Walter knows about the usual red coat man form and the vampire's ability to transform. Overall The Dawn gives vibes that they both already have fought alongside for a while.

I think this is enough to estabilish they met when Walter was 9 years old. Meaning they probably worked together for 5 years to this point...or at least Walter dealing with Alucard's shenanigans.🤭

This rises the question...how the hell does a 9-year-old end up in such an organization?

We don't know where Walter comes from..where he is born..who his parents are..Nothing!

It's a big mysterium, which I find rather odd since he is one of the most important characters in the main story and even the main character next to Girlycard in The Dawn.

But this actually fuels the fire of curiosity in me.

So let's take a turn here and talk about his abilities: We don't know how his wires work or what they actually are, but I will mention my idea with the final conclusion later on. So for now we ignore this part and just look at some examples of his bodily capabilities.

He is stronger than the average human:

Walter drags Alucard's coffin with one hand like it's an empty cardboard box.

Since Alucard canonically can weight basically nothing and rests in no particular shape in there (that's why he later emerged as black wobbling mass which first has to manifest into Girlycard), I just can point to the weight of a coffin for an adult.

This is the first data which shows up if you google it:

Also Alucard is canonically 6'6" (198cm) tall. Abraham staked him while he was more or less laying in the coffin...

...so it's not impossible the coffin even is oversized and weights more. I mean:

It's quite big, but not the most relatable source since Hirano fucks up with details a lot of times. lol

Walter then even kicks the coffin out of the plane with a simple kick.

Speaking of kicking; we also saw Walter kicking a knife.

You not only need a good control over your body to kick a knife from the table up and forwards, but look at the force he does this with. Animated it looked even more easy peasy for him to do so and the full force gets more clear if you see how fast the knife maneuvered to the Major. There is also quite the distance between them and the Captain catches the knife when it got pretty close to it's intended target.

Then he breaks the table in two parts with just one mere kick.

And even with 69 he still got a force in his legs which is astounding.

We saw how he kicked Jan against the wall for a brief second. And again animated it's even more impressive, when you can see and hear how Jan smashes against the wall.

And not to forget he could lift out the Harkonnen I for Seras like no biggie.

Just to paint the picture more clearly: The Jackal for Alucard alone weigthed 16kg and he handled it with it's case like it was nothing.

He is very swift, flexible and quick in reacting:

When Jan jumped over him and tried to run, he didn't take long to react to that despite being baffled by the enemies actions.

Or before that scene when he and Seras crawled trough the vents to get to the round table, where it seems that there is difference between OVA and manga.

In the manga it seems Walter crawls out with the legs first and landing gracefully on his feet (and luckily not on Seras):

Seras on the other hand....we still love you, silly police girl. In the OVA Walter emerges face first from the vent and catches his weight with his hands...

...just to push himself in the air again to regain his stance.

I can't stress enough that he is 69 here! So when he is capable to quickly move and react in such an age, it's no wonder young Walter did stunts like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and crashing through a window.

He is incredibly sturdy:

The most unflattering panel of Walter ever shows us with what force the Captain was punching the teen.

Like holy shit...that must have hurt. I can imagine this blow is the reason for his monocle later on.

Then he took a blow to the guts....

...and one in the back.

Ignoring that every anime/manga character has at least 100 litres of blood...those hits from a werewolf are sure something. No way a normal person would have survived this.

And yet Walter manages to quickly react and headbutt the doggo.

Also with an incredible force.

It's surprising as the Captain starts to strangle him, his neck isn't snapping like a twig.

We just saw how the werewolf just crushed a knife with a bare hand.

Looking at all those facts, you can't tell me he isn't the true one hell of a butler he is a mere human.

I'm convinced Walter is like Anderson an enhanced human. Which is also the theory circling around in the fandom and answers the question what he is.

But I never saw an explanation why this theory exists in the first place. So the gears in my head started spinning and tried to solve the puzzle.

We know the Vatican experimented on Anderson and thus creating his regeneration powers.

I can't remember if it ever got explained how, but it doesn't even truly matter in the end. Which matters is the fact that Walter was able to create a weapon for figthing Anderson. So my best guess is they experimented with biotechnology, which also plays a huge part in creating freak vampires.

BUT

Hellsing got their own ways and the prime example is Alucard.

It often seems to get forgotten who Abraham Van Helsing was, and what he was knowledgeable about.

And since Bram Stoker's Dracula is kinda canon to Hellsing, it's a fair use to cite Wikipedia here. ✌️

Integra even said that Alucard is the culmination of "generations of Hellsing's occult knowledge". This means nothing other than Alucard got experimented on, which makes sense since all the usual vampire weaknesses don't apply to him anymore.

But how do you experiment on a vampire? Well, if the word occult has not made it clear enough; let's have a look at a part in the manga where Richard chases smol Integra and provides some insights what Hellsing manor contains on rooms:

I think one is clearly sticking out a bit: Wizardry Analysis Room.

Combined with the fact Alucard's seals on the back of his gloves are pentragams with runes speaks a lot about what kind of experiments Abraham did.

This makes alchemy and sorcery to something which is canon and existing in Hellsing!

Since we know literally nothing about Walter, I think it's no wild guess to assume he is like Alucard an experiment of the Hellsing organisation.

I wouldn't go so far and say he is an homunculus since Arthur clearly said he is human as he fills in the round table about freak vampires, ghouls and Walter's existence. I see no reason why he should hide the fact they themselves created a homunculus at this point.

But what stood out to me was this sentence tho:

The majority of translations seem to go with born, but there are also some who are more like this:

Since I'm not able to find raw scans of The Dawn to maybe translate that part myself and to confirm, and I don't understand Japanese well enough to maybe listen and understand what Arthur exactly uses for words in the animation; take the following with a grain of salt.

If we go ahead with the born sentence...what actually would that mean?

Walter would have been indeed be born into the role of a vampire hunter. Which could also overlap with his role as being Hellsing's butler.

I'm no historian and very far off so but as far as I could research, this was something which was a thing:

Which makes the whole thing even more interesting. We don't know if Walter even has parents in the traditional sense. Is he some sort of lab-grown baby? If he got parents, were they also employed at Hellsing? What happened to them?

Questions which can't get answered here but can inspire to create nice headcanons.

To bring this long post finally to an end; My conclusion is that Walter is indeed an enhanced human, created by Hellsing themselves probably through alchemy. Which could wonderfully connect to his wires, because they could also be a product of alchemy or wizardry of some sort, since there is no logically explanation for this. 👀

Let me know if I've had missed something.

[firelightmuse]

Character Profile 🔥🌸

Yume Aino

Since it is VERY long, it is under a cut. If you do read all of this, thank you so much for taking the time out to do so!!! Enjoy! 🥰

Updated as of Dawntrail Patch 7.0, 11/10/2024

BASICS//

Name: Yume Aino

Name Pronounciation: Yoo-may Eye-know

Name Meaning: Yume = “Dream”, Aino = “Of Love”, both of Japanese origin. In her lore, "Aino" is the name of the now dormant volcanic mountain that Aino Castle is built upon, and the clan itself took its name from the volcano. Theoretically, Yume was named as such because she was to be the "Dream of the Aino Clan".

Nicknames: “Little Bird”, is a nickname from her childhood but is adopted by Zenos as a pet name for her; “My Fire”, “My Light”, and “Mea Amata”, are all other pet names Zenos has for Yume (“mea amata” is Latin for the feminine form of “my beloved”, and is a reference to the Garlean native language).

Unsundered Name: Nemesis (Not Azem)

Titles: Warrior of Light, Warrior of Darkness, Hydaelyn’s Chosen, Scion of the Seventh Dawn, Champion of Eorzea, Eikon Slayer, Savior of Ishgard, Liberator of Doma and Ala Mhigo, Wandering Flame, Ronin of Eorzea, Former Heir of Lord Masanori Aino

Age: 24 in ARR, 31 as of Post-6.0

Nameday: 13th Sun of the 3rd Astral Moon (May 13th)

Gender: Female

Race: Au Ra

Tribe: Raen

Nationality: Hingan

Languages: Modern Hingan, Most Far Eastern Dialects, Old Auri Tongue, and Eorzean Common Tongue

Profession: Former samurai and heir apparent of the Aino Clan; Currently a ronin, adventurer, and Scion of the Seventh Dawn

Education Level: Home schooled by private tutors in Hingashi, and is particularly knowledgeable in history, cultures, and languages.

BLOODLINES//

Father: Lord Masanori Aino (48 in ARR)

Mother: Lady Michiko Aino (45 in ARR)

Siblings: 2 younger brothers, Daichi and Kentaro (Ages 8 and 6 in ARR); Numerous half-siblings born of her father and his concubines

Extended Family: Large extended family, but her best friend is her first cousin Rei Tokugawa (25 in ARR)

In-Laws: All in-laws deceased

Children: None, and cannot have any biological children due to her injuries from attempted Seppuku

Pet: An amaro named Nightmare who also serves as Yume’s mount; the amaro was named after Yume’s black horse, also named Nightmare, that Yume was forced to leave behind after she was banished by her father.

ROMANCE & SEXUALITY//

Sexual Orientation: Demisexual

Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic

Significant Other: Zenos Galvus, in a long-term monogamous relationship as of Post-6.0; Will marry at some time in the future

Past Relationships: Briefly dated G’raha Tia during the events of the investigation of the Crystal Tower; Yume’s ancient self as Nemesis was eternally bonded with Ares, Zenos’ ancient self

RESIDENCE//

Place of Birth: Born in Aino Castle, in Lord Masanori Aino's territory, located not too far outside of Kugane, Hingashi

Current Residence: Small house in Shirogane (Located in game at Rafflesia, Shirogane, Ward 17, Plot 33.)

TALENTS AND SKILLS//

Canon Battle Job: Samurai (Trained since early childhood; canonically referred to as a Ronin; some of Yume’s abilities are unique and distinctive from the in game job) and Black Mage (Self-taught, some abilities are unique and distinct from the canonical in-game job)

Canon Land/Hand Jobs: None

Abilities: Kenjutsu, Martial Arts, Marksmanship, Thaumaturgy, Black Magic, Writing Poetry, Dancing, and Polyglot

Bad At: Singing, All forms of healing magic, Household chores, Public Speaking, Confiding in others when stressed, and Controlling her anger.

APPEARANCE//

Hair: Naturally jet black in color with straight bangs and pulled back into a high ponytail most of the time, and medium-long length.

Eyes: Large, wide set eyes; Royal Blue in color with lighter blue limbal rings surrounding the iris.

Face: Heart-shaped, with ivory colored scales on cheeks and bridge of her long, thin nose.

Lips: Full, plump lips

Complexion: Fair, can mildly tan with extended sun exposure

Blemishes: None

Scars: Though she has many small scars accumulated over the years, the most prominent one is a large, very deep scar from the right side of her abdomen to her belly button that she is quite ashamed of for many years; she only shows the scar when necessary unless she is alone with Zenos.

Tattoos: One large tattoo of a Phoenix spreading its wings that covers her entire back in all red ink.

Height: 5 fulms 2 ilms (Tallest Height for female Au Ra)

Weight: 120 ponze

Build: Petite and athletic but curvy with a large chest.

Features (Au Ra): Horns are slightly curled and sloping backwards away from her face; tail is long and smooth with a few small spikes near the base. Scales adorn her body and face with a small speckling of scales above the bridge of her nose.

Usual Hairstyles: Usually pulled up into a high ponytail with straight bangs for battle, but she tends to also pull up her hair into a side ponytail with braids while not fighting, and recently she has worn her hair down with a white headband.

Usual Face Look: Usually wears reddish-pink eyeshadow, black eyeshadow and eyeliner, and mauve colored lipstick.

Usual Clothing: Black leather, black colored robes, black or dark colored kimonos, black dresses, and some dark red and dark purple accessories. Basically, Yume asks, “Does this come in black?”

Face and Voice Claim: Chinese actress Fan Bing Bing for both face and voice claim.

PERSONALITY//

Introverted / Extroverted / Ambiverted (bold what applies)

Positive Traits: Friendly, polite, respectful, reserved, courageous, brave, kind, compassionate, empathetic, open minded, pragmatic, intuitive, loyal, faithful.

Most Positive Trait: Honorable to a fault. Yume follows the Honor Code of the Samurai and will not fight an unarmed opponent, tries her best to not bring harm to the innocent, and she is extremely loyal to those she has sworn to serve. Will give her life in an heartbeat if she deems it to be an honorable death and a worthy sacrifice for a good cause.

Negative Traits: Temperamental, prideful, aggressive, cynical, jealous, possessive, distant, insecure, reckless.

Most Negative Trait: Besides falling in love with Zenos? Yume has a problem with anger management. When she doesn’t keep her anger in check, she gets violent, and will kill an enemy with no hesitation. She has killed many people this way in her past in Hingashi, including killing those that she felt had dishonored her in some way.

Fears: Living a life without making her own choices, having regrets, and the death of her loved ones, though not afraid of dying herself.

Aspirations: To live a life that she has chosen for herself and not forced upon her by someone else, to help others and use her powers for good, and to see the entire world for herself.

Traumas: For past traumas before ARR, you can read Yume’s history below. Most of the events of ShB and EW were really traumatic for her, especially almost dying after the battle with Zenos at the end of 6.0.

Hobbies: Writing poetry, travelling, learning about other cultures, learning history, reading, and shopping.

Vices: Eating too much junk food, bottling up emotions until she explodes, shutting out others when feeling depressed, feeling insecure about herself outside of being a Warrior of Light.

Faith: Believes in the concept of Karma and that everything happens for a reason, but does not believe in the Kami or any other kind of god, at least ones that aren't primals anyway.

Turn Ons: Loyalty, Confidence, Bravery, Integrity, Intelligence, unique eyes, beautiful smile, muscular physique, and a large chest.

Turn Offs: Cowardice, Dishonesty, Disloyalty, Deceitfulness, Superficiality, Greed

Temperament: Phlegmatic/Choleric

MBTI: INFP-A

Soul Type: The Warrior

Tropes: The Chosen Many, Lady of War, Aloof Dark-haired Girl, Dark and Troubled Past, Samurai, Ronin, Warrior Poet, Honor Before Reason, Seppuku

Songs: “Paint It Black” by The Rolling Stones (This one is also her OC tag), “Weight of the World” from Nier Automata, “Sayuri’s Theme” from Memoirs of a Geisha, and “Wandering Flame” from FFX

Character Inspirations: Chiyo/Sayuri from Memoirs of a Geisha, Mariko from James Clavell’s Shogun, Auron from FFX, Tifa Lockhart from FFVII, Rei Hino/Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon, Trinity from The Matrix, Daenerys Targaryen from A Song of Ice and Fire, and Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin

FAVORITES//

Book: Chūshingura, translated as The Treasury of Loyal Retainers, commonly known as The 47 Ronin.

Deity: Nald’thal the Traders

Holidays: Heavensturn and Moonfire Faire

Month: 3rd Astral Moon (May)

Weather: A warm, sunny day with a light breeze and fair to clear skies.

Time of Day: Dawn

Places: Kugane, Eastern Thanalan, Costa del Sol, The Royal Menagerie in the palace in Ala Mhigo, Rak’tika Greatwood, Thavnair, and Ultima Thule

Sounds: The wind, chimes, Taiko drumming, birds chirping, and crackling wood of a campfire

Scents: Cherry blossoms, tea brewing, incense, and candles burning

Tastes: Anything spicy, strawberries and cream, sushi, curry, ramen, matcha green tea, coffee, chocolate.

Feels: Leather, flower petals, Hingan silk, and a warm fireplace or campfire.

Number: 2

Colors: Jet Black, Dalamud Red, Wine Red, and Gloom Purple

SYMBOLISM//

Elements: Fire and Light

Gemstones: Amber and Sunstone

Animal: Birds of all kind

Mythological Creature: Phoenixes

Flowers: Cherry blossoms and sunflowers

Season: Late Spring to Early Summer

Land, Sea, or Sky: Sky

Astronomical Object: The Sun

HISTORY//

History (Pre-ARR): ((Content/Trigger Warnings Ahead!! Ritualistic Suicide/Seppuku, Attempted Suicide, Mental and Emotional Abuse, Slight Depictions of Self-Harm, and Discussion of Potential Incestual Marriage; Feel free to skip over this section to avoid!))

Yume was born the eldest daughter of a Daimyo (a feudal lord who ruled over a territory in Hingashi), Lord Masanori Aino, and she was his heir apparent. Yume was raised from birth to become the ideal samurai, who would be able to beat any opponent in battle, and to one day succeed her father as daimyo. She excelled in all her studies and was driven to be the best on the battlefield, yet she always felt like something was missing from her life.

As she got older, she travelled often to Kugane, the famed port city where merchants from all walks of life congregated. Yume was exposed to people with vastly different cultures and traditions from the ones she knew. She was fascinated with the travelers from distant lands that she had never seen before, especially the Eorzeans. Yet she would always do her duty and aspired to live up to her father’s expectations.

When she came of age, Lord Aino began the search for his beloved daughter’s suitor, and he had narrowed down his criteria to a very short but nigh impossible list: 1) Must be a son of a prominent noble family, 2) Must be able to sire children, and 3) He must be Yume’s equal in battle, as determined by a 1v1 duel with Yume herself. The first two criteria were the easy part. Many clans were interested in marrying their son to the daughter of Lord Aino, but Lord Aino looked for perfection, and no man around her age was good enough for his daughter. This is because every would be suitor who dueled Yume for a chance to win her hand in marriage was defeated. There were none that proved worthy of her.

Yume pleaded with her father to allow her to decide for herself who she wants to marry in her own time, but her father forbade her from ever speaking of it again, for she would shame him and bring dishonor to the family name. Soon after Yume’s 18th nameday, her father announced her betrothal to Lord Nobu Aino, her own uncle. Nobu had lost his wife due to illness, and he never fathered children with her. To ensure that Nobu will have children of his own, he wished to wed a young woman with many years ahead of her so that she can give him many children. Yume was appalled; it was commonplace centuries ago for uncles and nieces to marry in Hingashi, but it is a dying tradition that only a few remaining noble families participate in, as most of Hingashi frowns upon it in modern times.

Yume soon felt trapped in the station in life that she was born into. Her family never sought her approval of her uncle as her suitor, nor was there any room for her to decline the betrothal. Though she wished for nothing more than to become a samurai, she did not want to be forced into a marriage with her own uncle, nor to be bound to a fate that she never decided for herself. This led to the biggest decision she ever made: she confronted her father and outright refused to marry Nobu no matter what.

Her father answered her by saying that she has dishonored him and the family, but Yume responded that he has shamed her and she cannot live like this anymore. Lord Aino ended the confrontation by telling her that if she cannot live with the shame, then she must commit Seppuku, or ritualistic suicide.

The next day, the ceremony has commenced, and Yume is fully prepared to take her own life. But just as she began to slit her belly open, her father stops her and tells her that she does not have to die but must live in shame. Lord Aino’s change of heart allows Yume to survive the attempted seppuku, but the damage to her organs was so extensive that her reproductive organs had to be removed, so Yume can never have biological children. Soon after she recovers from her wounds, the family disowns her, she is stripped of all her power and titles, and she must leave her father’s lands, never to return. Yume agrees to this, and she never sees her family again.

After she has fully recovered and left her father’s lands behind, Yume is now known as a disgraced ronin, a samurai without a master. To survive, she makes a name for herself as a mercenary and assassin in Kugane for five years, and was known as the “Wandering Flame”, which derives from her clan living on a dormant volcano, the “flame” part, and “wandering” for her being a ronin.

One fateful day, after hearing the voice of Hydaelyn calling to her day after day to go to Eorzea, Yume decides that since there really is nothing left for her in Hingashi, she leaves her homeland behind for Eorzea, a land that she has always dreamed of seeing, and soon becomes a Scion of the Seventh Dawn and is known as a “Warrior of Light”.

OTHER//

Smokes: Never

Drugs: Never

Drinks: Only drinks wine and certain kinds of cocktails, and she is overall very responsible with her alcohol consumption. She will never drink on the eve of battle, nor ever indulge at times when she needs her mind to be clear and focused.

Mount Issuance: Yume was never given a chocobo, as she flat out refuses one. She does not like the chocobos because of their smell, and still usually calls them “horse birds” out of habit from growing up in Hingashi. She rode a motorcycle built by Cid for a few years (from ARR until ShB) until she is gifted an amaro named Nightmare by the Crystal Exarch.

Been Arrested: Was technically going to be arrested for Regicide during the events of the Bloody Banquet, but Yume escapes Ul’dah along with her fellow Warriors of Light.

UNSUNDERED AND SHARDS//

Unsundered: ??? (Not Azem)

Source: Yume Aino, Warrior of Light, 8 times rejoined

First: Renda-Rae, rejoined during ShB 5.0

Second: ???, rejoined in 3rd Calamity (Fire)

Third: ???, rejoined in 4th Calamity (Earth)

Fourth: ???, status unknown

Fifth: ???, rejoined in 1st Calamity (Wind)

Sixth: ???, rejoined in 5th Calamity (Ice)

Seventh: Tifa Lockhart, rejoined in 7th Calamity (Bahamut)

Eighth: ???, status unknown

Ninth: ???, status unknown

Tenth: Auron, rejoined in 6th Calamity (Water)

Eleventh: ???, status unknown

Twelfth: ???, rejoined in 2nd Calamity (Lightning)

Thirteenth: Rubicante, deceased as of patch 6.3

CURRENT STATUS//

As of patch 7.0, Yume will begin by wandering Tural with Zenos as they hunt down Tural Vidraal, with Yume’s newly self-trained skills as a Black Mage. Yume and Zenos did not assist in the Rite of Succession for any candidate. However, they helped in the defense of Tuliyollal both times that the city is attacked, and they fought in the final battle alongside Hali and the other WoLs. Following the final battle, Yume and Zenos remain in Tural for a while before they head back to their home in Shirogane.

NOTE: Yume's story follows all of the major events of the MSQ as she is a Warrior of Light. The only major canon diversion is that in her canonverse, there are multiple Warriors of Light (notably my main OC Hali Aloke @starrysnowdrop and my friends’ OCs) and Yume’s ancient self is NOT Azem. Yume won’t always be the main focus of certain MSQ events either, as my main WoL is Hali. Feel free to ask me for any specifics in this regard.

[seecarrun]

My pal!!!!!! My friend!!!!!!! I'd like to tell you a beautiful little secret!!!!!! You want to know what that.....

Domesticabuseshipping is dead you genwunners!!!!!!!!!

Amourshipping is canon losers!!!!!

Ah man. Normally I would just delete this and go on with my day, as I am a whole ass adult with like, a husband and child and career and mortgage and shit, and I haven’t seen childish fandom bullshit like this since literally the 1990’s, and I have better, more important things to do with my life and you are just going to respond to this with the same repeated thing over and over again.

But luckily for you, said career is actually a kindergarten teacher, so I like working with sad and upset children.

Because honestly? I think that’s what this is all about. I think you are sad and mad and upset about how Serena’s character was wrapped up on the anime, and I think you have every right to feel that way.

I’m not a Serena fan, myself, but I have no ill feelings towards those who are. Love what you love, I say! I actually couldn’t get into the BW or XY anime, just not my thing, but I did start rewatching again at Sun Moon, and I can absolutely see why a Serena fan would be frustrated at how they ended things for her. Literally all the other traveling companions (save for May and Max, for obvious reasons with May’s Japanese VA) had a more significant wrap up with Ash than she did in the last season.

Misty and Brock both got the whole Aim to be a Pokemon Master thing, Dawn came back to watch Ash complete during the World Coronation and cheer him on, Iris was IN the World Coronation thing as a gd champion!!

Serena got an episode, and she didn’t even interact with Ash in it hardly at all. She spent the whole time with Chloe, and only saw him in passing when he walked past her to get on the boat at the very end. There was no blushing, no love confessions, neither the kiss nor Sarena were eeever talked about again. She got a non speaking cameo watching him against Leon along with the others and that was it. I have my own opinions as to why the writers did that, but that is neither here nor there, that’ll be a post on it’s own.

But that’s frustrating! I totally get that! She was the only traveling companion to kiss Ash, surely that means something and she’ll be brought back or brought up and she and Ash will be together forever!

But nope, pokemon isn’t that kind of anime. It and Ash’s journey ended with just him and Pikachu running off into the sunset, with Gary, if we’re being honest, as probably the most significant human to him in the end (as it should be, my old ass genwonner heart LOVES how Gary was there at the end living in Ash’s head rent free lol).

So I do get why you are upset and lashing out. I think it’s dumb and immature and annoying, but I get it.

My parting wish for you is hope that you’ll realize that literally no Ash ship is canon; his time in the anime is done and he ended up with no one, and that is simply okay because it’s pokemon and romance in that show has literally never been the point. I hope you keep on loving your favorite characters and ships and that you let everyone else enjoy their’s.

Buuuut let’s be honest, I know that you are just going to ignore everything I wrote and keep doing this same shit, but it was worth a shot, right? :P

I hope you have the day you deserve. <3