#david jenkins I love you always & forever

[piratewinzer]

I'm letting everyone know now that if there is (1) Abba song in season 2 I’m going achieve levels of insane previously unknown to mankind

[wadinginthevelvet]

I hope you all know I cried through that entire episode and for roughly half an hour afterwards and I WILL be crying later today when I rewatch and again tomorrow and every day after that !! it was perfect and wonderful and insane and bizarre and nonsensical and beautiful and that is how it should be !!! and I’m crying again!! it’s love you stupid sluts it’s all love!!!!!!!!

[fuckyeahizzyhands]

Info compilation from the How To Fuck Off With Con O'Neill workshop :) ❤

The online workshop took place June 29 2024 for LGBTQA+ charities :) ❤ you can see the more public part of it on youtube :).

Izzy and OFMD:

Con's start with Izzy: 'Izzy wasn't in the pilot episode of Our Flag. So when David approached me Izzy was just a thought, a husk yet to be formed. David said to me he saw him as a Salieri type character - the character from Amadeus, or Iago, a man in the shadows. And I agreed absolutely but also, I saw him as a man desperately, painfully in love, so his passion and his anger and his fear and his love all erupted in his expletives. I loved him from the off, I loved his directness, I loved his fearlessness, his pain, of course his fabulous use of profanities.'

Izzy swallows: At one time Con has a sip of water and then points at the glass of water and says, 'Izzy swallows. Still makes me laugh every time I hear that.' (There is a Izzy swallows t-shirt Con did for this charity :)))

Twat (doing the part of the workshop on 'fuck, shit and twat':) 'Now, 'twat' belongs to Izzy. Sometimes with an actor, you find a costume that fits you like a glove or something a line of dialogue opens the door to your character. For me, with Izzy, it was 'twat'. The first time I said it as Izzy it exploded in my fucking head. Because fundamentally Izzy is a twat man. [Con smiles widely] Also an ass man but that's a whole different workshop.'

Con improvised the rancid, syphilitic cunt: 'In Season One I was terrified about ad-libbing and improv which I've said many times. We had great writers and everything I needed was on the page. Except for the day 'daddy' came to visit. I have no idea where that line came from, no idea which part of my dark perverted psyche it interrupted from but as soon as it was out, it was out. In Season Two, again, everything I needed was on the page. Our writers are... were... are... will always be... spectacular. They gave Izzy such beautiful stuff and I will be forever grateful to them, to David Jenkins and the whole cast and crew, and to you lot for your continued support. But then towards the end of the shoot, we were filming the tavern scene with me and Erroll AKA Ricky. And it was the 'belonging to something' monologue, which was so beautifully writte it took my breath away. And we shot many, many takes and I was tired and emotional. And I knew we had it... nearly. There was something missing. There was a beat. A moment to end what was really Izzy's epitaph. And then our brilliant director Fernando came up to me and whispered in my ear, 'We'll do one more take. Let him go.', and we started the take and I could feel myself getting emotional. This was Izzy's big moment. It had to be right. It had to be right. And then as we reach this final line, instead of what was written, I heard Izzy say, 'And you are a rancid, syphilitic cunt.' And to my dying day I'll never understand how we got that on the Telly, but we did. Because sometimes in life, only a rancid, syphilitic cunt will suffice.'

What Con suprised the most in the OFMD fandom: 'The art. The art has blown my fucking mind. It blows my mind every day. What is nice... when you've been around as long as I have and you... you know, I love what I do and I am blessed to be able to do what I do and I have done it for a long time. And every now and then you get casted or you have the opportunity to play somebody who you fall in love with and that is not always the case by any means. But it's so gratifying when you fall in love with somebody who is complicated and difficult and flawed, when an audience also finds him and loves him. What was beautiful for me with Izzy is... Izzy is not easy to love and you all had to fight hard to love him. But it's worth it. Fundamentally what he is is an ally. Fundamentally what he is is what we have all been at one point in our lives. In love with somebody who doesn't love him back. And it's those flaws in his character that make him compelling and interesting. And the art is all about him, not about me. Very few people are drawing me which is fine but it's lovely to see the love for him, because I fell in love with him really quickly and I'm so delighted that people have fallen too. And some people hate him, but fuck it, what can you do? You know, the only way to get people to always love everyone you play is to play Santa Claus. And unless the Santa Claus is a big queer, fucking, leather-wearing fucking fucker then I am not interested in playing him.'

Con got hate on social media for playing Izzy - sb said that ppl loved Izzy earlier than Con thinks and Con said: 'I know that people did but I was getting quite a lot of hate on social media. But you know, fuck it. I am a big boy. I can take it.' (honestly, fuck those people, what person goes off spewing hate to an actor for playing a role, wtf?!)

Izzy is a great First Mate + how his meeting with Calico Jack went + why the whole thing with Stede and Blackbeard takes Izzy so much by surprise: 'Izzy is mathematically good at his job. He's a great first mate. And when he is asking anyone for help it's simplistic and straight to the point. There is no emotion. It's not: [subserviently] 'Can you do me a favour?' It's all straight down the line. It is unemotional. And that how he is with Jack, that is how he is with everyone. He's just... he's really fucking good at his job. You know, that's how he operates within the boundaries of his work. He is very unemotional. So he was very specific and very: ' This is what I need you to do. This is why I need you to do it. And you owe me.' Because everybody owes Izzy, because he's so good at is job. So... you know... it's... David and I spoke about that early on that he's just... the reason the whole thing takes izzy by surprise with Stede and Blackbeard is because he can't work out why Blackbeard would fall in love with THAT guy. Because that guy doesn't compute. He's crap at his job, he's a crap parent and he's bit of a... you know [waves hands] - it doesn't compute. So that's why he has such trouble with it. Because it just doesn't make sense. It does later. In Season 2. In Season 1: no, can't work it out. So yeah. Sorry there is no great reveal though, but yeah it's pretty much: 'This is what I want you to do and this is why I want you to do it.''

Con's personal thoughts how Ed and Izzy came to meet: 'They've known each other since the start. And I think they were young men together. And I think they were always kind of soulmates on that level. And that they've grown together as pirates. And the great understanding is Izzy is the best first mate ever. But he's not as good a captain as Blackbeard would be and he knows that. And Blackbeard knows that without Izzy he's not as good a pirate. So they've had that mutual respect. And everything else that happened... which is up for discussion as in the intimacy or the sex or whatever or the love or not love or the no sex or the whatever, that's all secondary to that relationship, the relationship is a work relationship. But they're pirates and everybody fucks on a pirate ship. Allegedly.'

Con's favourite scene to film in OFMD: 'Everything with Taika was just lovely. Because he's such a great scene partner. And his work is very similar to how I like to work so it was always joyful and easy, easy to work with. I really got to enjoy working with Rhys more and more and more, and the more our relationship became clearer, I really enjoyed working with him, and you know, and anything with the gang. Because they are such good actors those guys and girls and they thems. They're just... And I loved watching them, as well, I loved... because Izzy is a watcher. So I used to sit back in all those big group scenes be able to watch these truly gifted actors do their thing. And those of them that were brilliant at improvising were genuinely brilliant at improvising. That's not something I do very well so it was really inspiring to watch somebody deliver on levels of that brilliance. But my very favorite scene would be... would be the death scene. Because it felt... as a scene it felt perfect. On the level of Blackbeard and Izzy it just felt perfect to play. And I also enjoyed the 'Oh, daddy' scene because that was unexpected. To myself in that scene. And everyone else on the set it has to be said but the look of horror when that first came out of my mouth was kind of fun.'

This is Con's first experience with a fandom: 'I have never experienced a fandom before. Not by choice but I tend not to do the sort of shows that would l end themselves to fandoms. Above maybe Uncle? But Uncle kind of... people gravitated towards Uncle a long time after we finished it. And they only gravitated towards Uncle through Our Flag. It's not a choice that I don't do things that have the possibility of fandoms, it's just I've never considered it and then this came along.'

Izzy said he loves sb twice in his life: 'I think he said I love you twice in his life. Once to Blackbeard - and then he doesn't say, he says 'I have love for you'. And once to the other person who we will not talk about at this stage.'

Izzy + Stede in S2? - Question: 'Did you intentionally act maybe as if Izzy was kind of falling in love with Stede? Because we just get that vibe. It's like all this... there are so many pictures and little looks and it's fantastic.' --- Con: 'No. I think a lot of it is about a) Izzy seeing Stede becoming a better pirate. And also, I think my... I always loved working with Rhys but I thought Rhys exploded in Season 2. So I think possibly a lot of that is me not being able to hide my admiration of how Rhys grabbed it by its horns and smashed the fuck out of it in Season 2. Stede isn't Izzy's type, let's just leave it at that. I don't think. Now I'm sure people who ships Izzy and Stede together are going to hate that and I'm not saying that they don't, I'm just saying on the surface Stede is not Izzy's type. But he could have been... in the right circumstances.'

The most suprising inspirational thing that has happened to Con through his OFMD journey: 'The most inspirational thing was just working with a group of actors who was so comedically adept. And so supportive of those of us who weren't. And realizing that in comedy, it takes all different approaches. And you can be funny without being comedic. And that revelation was huge to me. It's something I've taken away. It's something I will absolutely endevour to include in my work from now on. Is that you don't have to be... you just have to be truthful. And if the moment is comedic then it is comedic. And that's what I've learned from Samson and... I think Samson is one of the best actors I've ever worked with. I think he's so deeply authentic. Nathan. Vico. Samba. Just really wonderfully talented organically funny people. And yeah that's what I learned, that you don't have to put on red nose and flippers to be funny.'

If he could spend a day with 1 member of the OFMD crew: 'Obviously Blackbeard is the obvious answer. But, I think, this might be a little provocative, but I think Izzy had a very soft spot for Nathan - Lucius. That grew and grew and grew. So if we're talking Season Two I would say Lucius. And Season One I would say thank Fang, beacause is his little buddy. But, yeah, I really like what developed between Lucius and Izzy.'

Con and Vico's hike: 'Come for a walk, they said. It will be lovely, they said. It's an hour, they said. Four fucking hours later, having climbed mountains and being attacked by eagles and sharks, we eventually ended up back in the place we started because Vico said they knew where we were going and they didn't. Also, Vico wanted me to take... I don't know if Vico ever said this but I'm gonna say it, once wwanted me to take film of them climbing down in rockface and they got so fucking freaked out halfway down, that they lost their cool. And now for Vico to lose cool it's pretty huge. I was laughing so much that the camera was shaking and they never posted that. There's a piece of footage of Vico rockclimbing, losing their cool and me just howling with laughter at the other side of the camera but the never printed it. But yeah, also it was... because I hadn't seen them for a while and Vico is one of my favourite people on the Earth. And it was lovely to spend that time with him even though I hated them because it was four hours.' (actually footage is here and photo here :D)

Izzy ship that Con would like to see more art of: 'I was always surprised it wasn't more of Izzy and Jim. For me, that is the kind of yin and yang of the same person I was very surprised that didn't make the top 10, really.' /fan comments on Izzy and Lucius and being closeted/ Con: 'I don't know if Izzy is so much closeted sexually, he's closeted emotionally. I think his leaning, sexual leaning as in attracts is towards the Blackbeards, the Jims, that kind of... [Con raises hands in fists]... kind of macho kind of thing... but we all have our softer moments so maybe Lucius is in there. I don't know. But the instinct would be... I would think more Jim and Izzy.'

If they had more time what scene he would like to have filmed: 'I would have liked more swordplay in Season Two as I enjoy doing it. And I like the idea of Jim and Izzy having a duel.'

Response from disabled fans about S2: 'Vastly positive. You know, it's always difficult to play somebody who becomes disabled because obviously, you're acting. And all I could do to qualify it was read up as much as I could on amputations at that time. And we... like for instance, there is a scene where I am putting out candles with the sword, and the original routine was much more fluid. And I had to sort of say my piece which was the leg would not have healed sufficiently for him to put enough weight on it to do these movements. And, so that's just one instance where you had to honour the situation rather than just be gung ho about it. But, yeah, I can't say I think we did well because that is not my call, but I never wanted to be blasé about it. So I did as much due diligence as I could do, within the confines of when I found out and the filming schedule.'

Izzy's motivation in the S1 Izzy provokes Ed scene: 'Do you know what? It's been a while. He wants to provoke Blackbeard into becoming Blackbeard again. That's what he wants to do and he succeeds because Ed grabs him by the throat, it's a violent act. And that's what Izzy's trying to achieve because he feels like Blackbeard has gone soft. And he achieves it. He achieves what he wants to achieve. And, it's the catalyst that brings Blackbeard into his other self. Shakes him out of Stede. So. Yeah. I mean, it's a really interesting question. I can't unpick it in the time we've got. As I always said about Izzy is complex as he's flawed. He's not always emotionally connected by any means. The only thing Izzy is absolutely clear about is his job. And this question is not just about his job, it's about his emotional connections. So that would take me more time and I'd have to rewatch the episodes because I've done a few things since, so it is not as clear to me, the motivation.'

Izzy's hair in Season 3: 'It was always work that decided about my hair. I've never been particularly interested in my hair. I've had my head shaved, I've had a perm, I've had it long, I've had extensions put in, it has been blonde, it's been red, it's been black, it's been gray, it's been peroxide, it's been a blah, but never from my choice. I would like to go white-gray though for something. I would like to try that. Because I'm going grey. That would have been Izzy's hair in Season Three. There's a little snippet.'

How much input Con had on Izzy's outfit: 'Overall, very little input into the outfit the costume. I'm very much a practical actor so if there's anything on the costume that if the character like Izzy is - he's a practical man - if there's anything on the costume that he wouldn't use, he wouldn't have it. So that was a little bit back-and-forth. But both designers of Season One and Season Two were brilliantly collaborative. And I think it's the best costume I've ever had and I am the only actor in the entire show whose costume never changed, apart from the last episode with the british army uniform. So yeah I feel that costume spoke volumes.'

Other:

5 fucks and 1 cunt: Con says that when he filmed Dancin' Thru the Dark (1990) one of the BBC execs said, 'As this is a BBC film, we're only allowed five 'fucks' and one 'cunt'.'

Con's tattoos: 'I do not have any tattoos but I'm gonna get one this year.'

How many doggos would Con have tf he had adequate space and resources: 'This one [Con's doggo Cooper] won't accept any other dogs. Because Cooper's a rescue dog from Hungary. And he was a feral dog for some time. And he's okay with dogs outside of the house but when any dog that comes into the house it's war. So I think once he goes to doggy heaven - which isn't gonna be for at least 50 years - we will... I've always liked the idea and I want - now that we got a house with a big garden - I want dogs. Ideally two. But probably ideally eight.'

Con's favourite movies: 'I'm a big shark movie nerd.' + 'I'm a horror guy.'

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

06/29/2024 - 06/30/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Guz Khan; Vico Ortiz; Rachel House; How To Fuck Off With Con O'Neill: CW; AdoptOurCrew Charity Raffle Update; Gold Derby Voting; Fan Spotlight: Cast Cards; Our Flag Means Fanfiction; Big Gay Energy Podcast; Teal Oranges & Garlic Soup Week; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika

== Rhys Darby ==

Quick sighting of Rhys with Kirk Thatcher and another commercial for FFXIV!

Source: kirkrthatcher's Instagram

Source: FFXIV's Instagram

== Taika Waititi ==

Quick shot of Taika and Rita with Andy Hernden!

Source: Andyhernden's Instagram

= Guz Khan =

A shot of Guz with Mark Silcox-- apparently this is a hint at Season 5 of Guz' show Man Like Mobeen!

Source: Guz Khan Official Twitter

== Vico Ortiz ==

Lots more sightings of Vico out and about!

Source: Vico Ortiz Instagram

== Rachel House ==

Yet another chat show with Rachel house!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Last Video Store (@lastvideostorebetoota)

Source: The Last Video Store instagram

CW: Con O'Neill in Underwear under the cut.

== How to Fuck Off w/ Con O'Neill ==

Many of our crewmates attended the Momentus class with Con O'Neill on Saturday! When Samba did his cooking class, the video was released to youtube a week or so later so hopefully this one will be too. I did try to transcribe some of the information, if it is quoted it should be word for word minus uhms. Non quoted is paraphrased. This was 3 hours long if you did the meet and greet so I've only added what I was able to get through. If I have time I'll transcribe more.

Con showed up on camera with no pants on

Re Izzy: When David approached him, Izzy was just a thought, a husk yet to be formed

David saw Izzy as a Salieri from Amadeus, or Iago (from Othello)

Con "Agreed with David" but also "saw [Izzy] as a man desperately, painfully in love. So his passion, and his anger, and his fear and his love, all erupted in his expletives, i loved him from the off, I loved his directness, I loved his fearlessness, pain, and of course his fabulous use of profanities"

Con then taught the class how to do various types of "fucks" "shits", "twats" etc.

Some fun quotes:

"A happy shit is one with a smile"

"A sad shit is one you say with a frown"

"Everyone give me an orgasmic twat"

Some Transcribed BTS Info:

"In Season 1 I was terrified of ad-libbing, improv, which I've said many times. We had great writers and everything we needed was on the page-- Except for the day 'Daddy' came to visit."

"I have no idea where that line came from, no idea which part of my dark perverted psyche it erupted from but as soon as it was out, it was out."

"In Season 2, again, everything I needed was on the page, our writers are/were will always be spectacular, they gave Izzy such beautiful stuff, and I will be forever grateful to them, to David Jenkins, to the whole cast and crew, and to you all for your continued support."

"But towards the end of the shoot, we were filming the tavern scene with me and Erroll, aka Ricky and it was the 'belonging to something' which was so beautifully written it took my breath away."

"And we shot many many takes, and I was tired, and emotional, and I knew we had it nearly. There was something missing. There was a beat, a moment to end what was really Izzy's epitaph. And then-- our brilliant director Fernando came up to me and he whispered in my ear 'we'll do one more take, let him go' and we started the take and I could feel myself getting emotional."

"This was Izzy's big moment, it had to be right, it had to be right, and then as we reached this final line, instead of what was written, I heard Izzy say: 'and you are a rancid syphilitic cunt' and to my dying day, I will never ever understand how we got that on the telly, but we did because sometimes in life only a rancid syphillitic cunt will suffice."

== Adopt Our Crew Pride Month Charity Raffle Update ==

Well done everyone! $7041.72 was raised for 148 LGBTQ+ charities around the world! Thank you so much to @adoptourcrew for all the wonderful work they did and all our crewmates for all the donated art, writing, crafts, etc to make this happen!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter

== Gold Derby Voting ==

Rhys, Taika, and Our Flag Means Death are up for some more nominations-- this time the Gold Derby for best Comedy Series / Comedy Actors! It does require you to sign up, but if you'd like to add to the nominations you can follow this handy guide:

Thank you to @adoptourcrew for sharing the goldderby information!

Source: AdoptOurCrew's Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

More cast cards from our dear @melvisik!

Simone Grace: "Tonight's is another Emmy submission "for Outstanding Period Costumes in a Series for Impossible Birds" - @adoptourcrew"

Francesco Toby: "Credited as Jean Luc, the beret-wearing French sailor in Pete's story."

Source: @melvisik's Twitter

= OFMD Colouring Pages! =

Once again our kind and wonderful friend @PatchworkPirateBear has more colouring pages for Pride month! Hosted by @adoptourcrew! Wanna following PatchworkPirateBear for more colouring pages? Visit their socials!:  Instagram / Twitter / Tumblr 

Source: AdoptOurCrew's Tumblr

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

There's a new episode by our lovely friends over at Our Flag Means Fanfiction! This time a ranking of the top 10 Rhys Darby moments by members of the Rhys Darby Faction! Visit https://linktr.ee/ofmff to pick out your favourite listening platform!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

== Big Gay Energy Pod ==

Another episode of Big Gay Energy Pod! This time covering Season 2 Episodes 5/6! Check them out on Youtube, or their https://linktr.ee/biggayenergypod!

Source: Big Gay Energy Pod Instagram

== Teal Oranges & Garlic Soup Week ==

As you may remember, our crewmates over at @garlicsoupweek have been hosting a wonderful prompt week for our favorite Polycule! I would love to do a much bigger fan spotlight, but I was only able to get permission from some of the artists to share-- so I'll do more if I can get more permissions from folks! You can also scroll through all the awesome art/writing/edits on @garlicsoupweek!

= OhTangerine=

First up is the absolute stunning work done by @ohtangerines on Instagram and here on tumblr! The faces, and background detail is just so amazing-- please visit them on instagram or here on tumblr to check out more of their awesome work! Check them out on the various socials on their carrd! https://ohtangerines.carrd.co/

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 🍊Maria I. (@ohtangerines)

Source: @ohtangerines's Instagram

= Sonorawent =

Next up for Teal Oranges is our dear crewmate @sonorawent! Check out their incredibly gorgeous water colour of our Jim and Oluwande! I adore the colour blending! You can follow them on Twitter / Tumblr!

Source: sonorawent's Twitter

= Blackbeardskneebrace =

Our next artist spotlight is none other than the magnificent @blackbeardskneebrace! You may recognise them from their wide variety of artwork styles (medieval, peanuts, tradition, etc) whatever style they decide to create in -- they've gifted this fandom with such beautiful work! Please visit their tumblr, or their Ko-fi, or their twitter for more brilliant work!

Source: BlackbeardsKneeBrace's Tumblr

= _SilverSheep =

Next up on our fan spotlight for the evening is @_silversheep on twitter! This adorable rendition of Cambell's Soup has such cute details hidden in the label, I'm so glad she was kind enough to allow me to share it with you! You can check them out here on their twitter, or her https://linktr.ee/asisherright !

Source: _Silversheep's Twitter

= LibroseITM =

Back again is our absolutely lovely @libroseitm! They were kind enough to let me share this steamy scene with our Polycule for @garlicsoupweek based off of Sense8! Want to check out more of their work? Visit @libroseitm on Tumblr, or Twitter for more beautiful work from LIb!

Source: LibRoseITM's Twitter

= ipomoea-batatas =

Next in our fan spotlight is the briliiant @ipomoea-batatas! I cannot tell you how much I adore the detail on their work! Look at those faces, it's like looking at our dear Archie, Jim, and Olu in person! Capturing Olu's smile and excitement is no small feat too! Wanna check out more of their awesome OFMD art? Please visit their tumblr here on tumblr!

Source: ipomoea-batatas's Tumblr

= TheseAreTheKids =

Another incredibly talented crewmate - thesearethekids on twitter put together this very sweet cross-stitch pattern for our polycule! She was kind enough to make a downloadable PDF chart and put it up on her Ko-Fi as well so you can work on it yourself. Want to follow them for more cross stitch/embroidery fun? Visit their Twitter!

Source: TheseAreTheKids Twitter

= ErosTheArtist =

Back again with more artwork from the lovely @erostheartist! This time with our Polycule in the Teal Orange outfits! I love it! Love their work? Follow them here on tumblr, or on instagram/check out their https://linktr.ee/eros_the_artist!

Source: Eros The Artist Tumblr

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! I hope you had a wonderful weekend-- and an even better pride month! There has been so much queer joy this month-- and everyone's been celebrating being themselves and celebrating all the wonderful people around them-- and I'm so very happy so many of you have gotten to experience that. If you aren't out yet, or pride isn't your thing, or maybe this month is always tough on you, that's okay too. Your safety, and comfort is more important than anything, so please don't feel bad if you aren't experiencing that joy like others are. Just know that no matter what stage of your journey you are in-- your crew loves and cares for you. I wanted to send a gentle reminder, I know that after so much excitement, sometimes our brains can rebound a bit and go the same distance in the other direction. This is perfectly normal lovelies, so if you feel a bit sad tomorrow or the upcoming month, just remember to take it in stride. If you are feeling heavy feelings, remember to embrace them and acknowledge them, and let them go in your own time. No matter what gender, sexuality, or various degree of queer you are, or not queer at all, please know that you are so very loved crew. Truly truly loved. You are beautiful, and unique, and brilliant, and wonderful, and no one gets to say otherwise, okay?

Rest well lovelies, tomorrow is another day.

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Tonight's gif just exudes Last Day of Pride Month for me -- as well as running straight into July's Queer Wrath! Tonight's gif courtesy of the wonderful @edsrosetattoo!

[saltpepperbeard]

David Zaslav (derogatory) is about to get a gay-ass card 😌💅

Here's more information on how to send a postcard/greeting card (it works internationally!) [x]

And here is my text in case anyone would like to bounce off it:

Hello Mr. Zaslav, Just writing to tell you how much I adore the beautiful property that is Our Flag Means Death. It impacted me in way I'll probably never be able to fully articulate. As a queer person myself, the closest comparison I can make is that it felt like coming home. It felt like entering a large, warm, wonderful house, and feeling right at place. I have truly never been so in love with a piece of media, and so seen within it. So, for that reason, I respectfully implore you to reconsider your decision in regard to the third and final season. David Jenkins has always said that he intended the show to be three seasons. He gave us these wonderful characters and their silly little world, and wanted to see them through to the end. And as do I! Please; allow the third and final season to exist as intended. Allow our home to stay standing and sturdy. Allow this beautiful piece of queer media to carry on forever more. This type of representation matters so much, and the love within it carries more weight than any amount of money could buy. So please, please; reverse the recent decision made, and renew Our Flag Means Death. Thank you so much for your time.

[sapphicsigh]

💖🫡🌈🥹I love the Jeff's inn bit when Ed is in purgatory bc it shows that even a breath away from death, coming into purgatory fully suicidal, he still has that joy and silliness. He can still access that part of himself when he's in limbo. It's a callback to when he and Stede were riffing (flirting) about Jeff's restaurant, bar and grill, and fishing supplies🎣. A callback to when Ed was loved and he felt understood 🥹🌈🫡💖

❤️‍🩹💅🏻David Jenkins, you absolute gay slut lol. Thank you always and forever for this gift of a show💅🏻❤️‍🩹

[queenmelancholy]

Illustration by Jimmy Liao. In graphic novel The Moon Forgets. 

INTRO POST

Hi! Nice to meet you on here and thanks for stopping by :)

My blog:

Original posts about Thomas Barrow (he got me here)

Reblogs of the things I like (see lists after the break line)

Personal rambles

Me: I’m 26, from Hong Kong. INTP 5w4. In real life, I’m working towards becoming an architect (which makes me a bit tired). But part of me only ever wanted to live in a lakeside cottage surrounded by trees and spirits. So for now, I guess this is the place to unleash my inner demons every now and then. Hope you find something here that resonates with you~

My interests: Cinema, music, art, history, psychology, science, and philosophy

My languages: I can read English, traditional and simplified Chinese, and a bit of Japanese. I speak Cantonese, English, and Mandarin. I sing in Gibberish.

Other notes: My ask box is always open! I have an AO3 account under the same name: QueenMelancholy It’s ok to tag me in tag games or picrew chains XD

You can use whatever pronouns you want to call me. No DNIs here. Just remember to be kind and respectful. 

Finally, things I love that I might reblog:

Favourite films

On self

The Matrix Trilogy

Ghost in the Shell (1995)

Her

A.I. Artificial Intelligence 

Ex Machina

Memento

On ideals 

Star Wars (I-VI)

X-Men (Original Trilogy)

The Dark Knight

Cube

Dead Poets Society

The Legend of 1900 [this one holds a really special place in my heart]

On love

Cinema Paradiso

Arrival

Princess Mononoke

The Corpse Bride

Amélie

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Favourite TV series

Downton Abbey

Breaking Bad

Succession

Dark

Black Mirror

Westworld

Fullmetal Alchemist 

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Death Note 

Favourite musicals

The Phantom of the Opera 

Les Miserables

Wicked

Notre Dame de Paris 

Favourite books

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

1984 by George Orwell

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

The Stranger (L'Étranger) by Albert Camus

The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Rashomon and Other Stories by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Twilight of the Idols by Friedrich Nietzsche

Favourite characters

Thomas Barrow

Erik (The Phantom)

Credence Barebone

Anakin Skywalker

Batman & Joker

Xavier & Magneto

Favourite soundtracks

Film music collection by Ennio Morricone

“Ice Dance” by Danny Elfman

“On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter

“In the Mood for Love” by Shigeru Umebayashi

“Por una Cabeza” by Carlos Gardel

“Floating Museum” & "Nightstalker" by Kenji Kawai

"Palladio" by Karl Jenkins

Les Choristes OST by Bruno Coulais

Downton Abbey OST by John Lunn

Fantastic Beasts OST by James Newton Howard

Succession OST by Nicholas Britell

Favourite songs

“Piano Man” by Billy Joel 

“7 Years” by Lukas Graham

“The Impossible Dream” by Mitch Leigh

“I Want Something Just Like This” by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay 

“What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes

“Viva Forever” by Spice Girls

“Space Oddity” by David Bowie

“Beautiful in White” by Shane Filan

“The Dark Side of the Moon” album by Pink Floyd

English songs: Coldplay, Adele, Elton John, Nick Drake

Cantopop: Eason Chan, Beyond, Tat Ming Pair, Faye Wong

French songs: Françoise Hardy

That’s it, I think. Thanks for reading this far. 

[pastryjay]

There is something very reassuring about David Jenkins saying that he has planned Our Flag Means Death to have 3 seasons. He must be at least somewhat decided on the major plot points and conclusions. What he has envisioned for how the show will conclude eventually will likely inform decisions he has made in season 1 and will make with season 2. I for one can’t wait to see where the story goes.

The way something ends is incredibly important and will heavily impact the way a whole thing is viewed. Earlier seasons of Game of Thrones were loved but now it will always be more remembered for how it ended badly. The Star Wars sequels were badly planned making those after The Force Awakens a disappointment with so much wasted potential. So, so many beloved pieces of media with so much potential have left fans feeling sour by the way they were finished. This seems to happen when creators decide that what happens in future seasons/ movies is a problem to be solved later, then can’t think of a good conclusion when they need to. That, or when things are created with optimising profit the main goal. The idea that as many seasons/ movies should be made as possible, always with some unresolved plots to pave the way for future installations, if the demand is there (ahem the MCU).

I am adamant that if anyone is going to pitch a story that has multiple parts whether that is a book series, movies or a tv show, that it should absolutely not be given a go ahead unless:

The main plot points must be decided. If a good ending can’t be thought of and agreed upon, then you don’t get your thing produced.

The number of books/ movies/ seasons should be decided. I understand that how much of a thing can be made depends on popularity/ profit but there should be at least a general idea of when things should be concluded.

Stories are supposed to have a beginning, middle and a satisfying conclusion. They are not supposed to keep going forever and this must be kept in mind. Even the most loved stories tend to see a dip in quality after a while and fans and non-fans often hate later seasons of long-running shows. I understand people saying they want to see many seasons of OFMD, I want to see lots of content too! But I would much, much rather 3 solid seasons that will be remembered fondly by fans, than whatever happened to Game of Thrones, Supernatural or whatever is going on with the MCU now. If everything goes to plan and OFMD finishes in 3 seasons because the story has been told, this wont be a failure, it will be a massive success in a world where most stories are dragged out, cancelled or end badly.

[chipcheesesandwich]

I love getting into Our Flag Means Death analysises, and one of my most recent interests is the black tie/scarf thing.

Now we first see the black tie in the very first episode on Stede, and I always wondered, why? Why this black tie thing? It doesn't match with the color scheme of the rest of his outfit, which is primarily light blue and white. But it's also tied close to his neck, and it is in clear view of everyone he meets. And during the episode, he takes it off when he is in his sleeping gown, and then ties it again when he invites Badminton on the ship. It is clear that it is a deliberate choice to wear this black tie when he is going to meet someone.

And it keeps reappearing throughout the season.

Episode 4. Stede wears it after being introduced to Ed. The rest of his outfit is a mess, but it is clear that he had to wear the tie.

We can also see Ed wearing it during this episode, as they swapped their clothes.

Episode 5, Stede wears it when they enter the French high-class party boat.

Now this episode gave me some better insight on how to figure out when Stede wears the tie. In the early part of the episode, through the swashbuckling class to the table manner class, Stede does not wear the black tie. But when they join the party, he does. From this, I'm assuming this tie is only worn when he is being introduced to someone new, and he knows he is meeting someone new.

But, this theory kinda flips in the next episode already.

Episode 6, when they do the penetration, thing.

Now this one really made me think about why he had the tie on. He is not meeting someone. His clothing is definitely not formal. It does not match his outfit. What makes it interesting is, after this moment, Stede does not wear the tie for the rest of the episode. And in fact, you don't see him wear it ever again for the rest of the season.... BUT.

During the penetration, for the first time we see Ed wearing the tie in his regular outfit.

Now, there is a possibility that we just didn't see the tie because of his beard and jacket. However....

If you go back to EP4, you can see from the clothing swap, Stede is not wearing a black tie. That means, most very likely, Ed has never worn a black tie around his neck until this moment. And he keeps on wearing it, while Stede doesn't.

Episode 7, during the treasure hunt.

Episode 8, on the beach with his things from Lucius (could not find a good image for this, but if you check out the episode, you can see it)

Episode 9, during the Act of Grace (look around Ed's neck)

And then finally....

Episode 10, Ed as Blackbeard/Craken.

At this point, we know that Ed is not the only who carries the black tie.

Episode 10, Mary and Stede at Evelyn's house.

Mary is also wearing the black tie, throughout the entire episode. She doesn't take it off unless she is going to bed.

Now, from Mary's way of wearing it, I just automatically thought it was some kind of way to show her widowhood. Idk much about 1700s history/culture, but I think at the time, women were a secondary position in the household. Being married was their only way of gaining status. But, if the husband passes away, all of their assets will be hers and hence, she will be head of household, which is the only way for women to achieve such status (I think, I'm going off of weary memory here). And this status is forever attached to the husband, thus their whole identity will be "the widow of Mr.(blah blah)" then forward. Therefore, Mary wearing the black tie, is her sign of widowhood, and, in a sense, her uniform of being Widow Bonnet. (also David Jenkins has said that he was not being historically accurate in any way while writing OFMD, so this entire thing might as well be thrown out)

But regardless, the three, Stede, Ed, and Mary, all wear the black tie.

What does this black tie represent that have in common with all three of them? Well I have two theories for this:

1. A representations of the death of their old lives and a birth of a new one

2. A representation of how Stede influence/impact lasting with them

The first theory relates to my thought regarding Mary's usage of the black tie. Black tends to be a color representation of death or an end to something. But I see it also as a start to something new.

Now as Stede heads off to sea, it was evidently his own death as a father and husband, an upper class man in society, and his old self. But he does not die right away. It takes him weeks for him to overcome his old self. As he struggles with his new life he set him off for himself, the only thing that actually helped him overcome his old self was, Ed.

As Ed comes on board, he instantly becomes Stede's first person to truly understand him. Ed becomes sort of a living proof that he was okay with who he is. He can still love his summer linens, his library and fire place, and small joys of life like a damn good marmalade. And as he starts to accept and grow himself further, this influences Ed as well.

Through his relationship with Stede, he starts his process of healing that is similar to Stede. Ed equally struggles with accepting who he is. His persona of Blackbeard pretty much ran off without much of his control, and he is now burdened to fulfill it. Only the Blackbeard persona has attracted the people around him, and the fear of Blackbeard helps him avoid any experience of blindsided rejection. He is almost lost about who he is, and now nothing excites him through the Blackbeard experience anymore. And then Stede comes in, and slowly helps resurface his real self. The self that fancies upper class culture and a good cup of tea. Through Stede's acceptance, he finally confronts his tormented self that has birthed the persona of Blackbeard, the child that killed his own father. It is the rebirth of who he truly is.

Mary's old life died quite literally from the "death" of Stede. Though she has said during their marriage that he doesn't hate their life, it was never a happy life for her. After Stede's "death", she experienced freedom for the first time and fulfilled her own wants. Flourishing in her artist career, having a lover who truly cares about her, and gaining friends that cares and respects her. For the first time, she actually started to live. But as Stede abruptly comes back from the dead, she fights with her might to maintain her life as the happy life she has as the Widow Bonnet. And through the help of Stede himself, she does in the end.

The second theory's reasoning is already appearing through my explanation of the first theory above. All three characters, Ed, Mary, and Stede's lives were changed because of Stede in the greatest way possible.

Ed for the first time in a long time experienced happiness through Stede, and gives meaning to his life again. As Ed accepted who Stede is, Stede also accepted who Ed truly was. Before Stede, no one hung out with Ed. Everyone hung out for only one person: Blackbeard. Through submission, fear, and twisted admiration of Blackbeard, people approached Ed. But Blackbeard is again, a persona. A character that Ed created to protect himself from the blaming and suffering of being a murderer to his own father. If everyone fears him, no one will question him. But Stede didn't. Stede still approached Ed, though he would see his violent self as Blackbeard from time to time. And he even retaliated against people who hurt Ed at the French party, even though Ed was the main reason why they ended up with them in the first place. Stede never blamed Ed, and continued to stay by his side. It was an acceptance Ed has never experienced before. A relationship that just came from love. And through that, he finds his meaning of life to live: be happy with someone who he loves and accepts as who he is, who is Stede.

Mary's life pretty much centers on Stede, sadly from the standards of the 1700s. As a woman, she was basically a second class citizen. She had to fulfill the duty of the wife of Stede, and was most likely the main person to maintain the Bonnet family image. She struggled and tried to strive for being a good wife and ideal mother to her family. But, all came to a halt when Stede ran away one night to be a pirate. I imagine what Mary may have felt. Fear of her unknown future as a widow with two children, anger towards Stede for breaking her family that she tried so hard to maintain, and maybe some self blame for not being the ideal wife that Stede would have stayed. In the end, she comes through with the acceptance of her situation and realization of her new life. Most likely for the first time, she is calling the shots on what she wants to do. And she loves it. She thrives off of her new found freedom, and even when Stede comes back abruptly, her freedom gives her the courage to chase her wants over the standards she was forced to follow for many years. In the end, Stede is the one who helps her to continue her dream life, by sacrificing his own existence, which includes his separation from his own children.

Stede himself is saved by himself as well. Through his life, he was constantly told by others that he was pathetic and a coward. And he truly believed it, and for many years, he lived his life with that. But one day, he started to question himself. Maybe, I just didn't get the chance to prove myself? Do I really want to finish my life without even truly knowing? And though it wasn't the perfect way to execute it, he set off to sea, alone on his ship.

At the start of his journey, his old self still lingered around him. The constant flashbacks to his life back on land will follow him, and reminds himself of who he was made to believe. But, as his first achievement in his new life were stolen away to Izzy, his inner self fought back and proved he is more than what he has been told. It was the first glimpse of his new self.

As he meets Ed, this new self continues to grow. He learns new skills and possibilities of himself through Ed, and leads to him slowly accepting himself in the past as well. Ed appreciates his interests and what he loves, which many have mocked and ignored. He experiences happiness like anything else he has ever experienced, and it is all because he left to the sea that day. And as he grows his own acceptance, his black tie also slowly disappeared.

I feel like the biggest message that Stede's journey is that, to fully grow into someone you love, you must accept yourself as a whole. And the opposite to that journey, was Ed, who just started his healing process to accept who he is, but cut short because of Stede.

There is no real conclusion to this (not that I've known of). But costumes are truly a mirror to the characters themselves. It represents who they are and how they want/needs to be seen by the people around them, or for themselves. I'm really looking forward to what S2 costumes will be!

......

This post had took me a good couple of days to write, and a good amount of digging deep into how the characters are. I wonder what you think of the black tie? Is it just a fun costume choice, or something more?

[boldlyvoid]

ain't it fun? | part 3

summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

warnings: season 4 episode 7 plot but spencer doesn't have to go through it all alone. mentions of child molestation and murder

word count: 2K

P1 P2

Spencer calls from Vegas of all places, he’s staying an extra few days after a case and he won’t be home. “Actually, if I buy you a ticket would you fly out here for me?”

“Are you crazy?” She laughs, “what’s really going on babe?”

She doesn’t call him babe very often but when she does she can always hear him blush, he’s so giddy and cute he smiles wide and licks his lips a few times, but he doesn't this time.

“I’m not doing the best.”

“Do you need your girlfriend or do you need a meeting?” She asks because she knows there is a huge difference.

“I need my best friend.”

When she arrives in Vegas, she takes a taxi to his hotel and sits in his room all alone until he’s done whatever he was up to. There’s an envelope on the floor, “you’ve got the wrong guy” written on the front in a hasty black chicken scratch.

She hides along the wall, making sure no one can see her under the crack of the door. She manages to keep one foot on either side of the door frame as she looks out the peephole to see an older white man walking away from the door. He’s in a work uniform, on the phone, he’s whispering.

Once she’s sure he’s off the floor, she grabs her things and leaves the room. Leaving the envelope on the floor, she calls Spencer from the stairwell.

“Hey, I’m on my way back now,” Spencer answers.

“Someone dropped an envelope off in your room. I didn’t touch anything I just walked out after the guy left… can I meet you in the bar instead?”

“Yeah! Of course,” he encourages her safety protocols, “I’ll make sure the envelope is safe first, thank you for being smart.”

“No problem," she laughs, he was the genius and he was still calling her smart for following her gut.

"I’m just walking down the stairs cause he took the elevator. He was white, 5’8 ish and older; balding with grey hair so I’m guessing he was in his 60s, and he was on the phone with someone,” she gives his description quickly before she could forget it. “And the envelope says you got the wrong guy on the outside.”

“I know who that is, thank you. I love you,” each phrase got quieter and quieter and she knew he was in the car with his co-workers.

“I love you too, see you soon.”

—

It’s midnight in Virginia, it’s only 9pm in Vegas and Spencer’s been losing his mind trying to solve a case for his own sanity. He was getting nowhere, he’s even tried hypnosis to take him back to when he was 4. But nothing was working.

He’s in the middle of begging his mother to remember, “mom, this isn’t about me. This is about Riley Jenkins.”

“It was always about you…” Diana whispers.

“Please, mom—“

“Spencer,” Y/N’s eyes shoot open.

She’s just been sitting there, barely getting to know Diana as Spencer explained what he remembers. It was very intimate, but she already knew about the dream. She knew one day he’d want to learn more, and now he was.

“Listen to what she just said, it was always about you,” she repeats the words and Spencer looks more confused.

She steps forward and takes Diana’s hands in hers, sitting her down on the edge of her bed as she looks at her carefully. “This is hard, I know you’re really trying and I know how hard it is to talk to Spencer when he’s like this. But how about you tell me the story? Why was the Riley Jenkins case more about Spencer to you?”

Diana clues in then, her eyes zoning out as she remembers everything and Spencer sits quietly in the corner. “Riley was a real boy, poor boy…”

He’s amazed by the fact she’s so calm and good with his mother. “Yes he was, mom, how did I know him?”

“Your father was the t-ball coach, you were really more interested in chess and so eventually he let you go from the team, and you ended up playing in the park with this older man; who was also watching Riley before he died,” Diana explained softly. “It could have been you.”

Spencer gets closer and closer, eventually, he’s kneeling in front of his mother like a little boy at storytime. “What was his name mom?

“Gary Michaels.”

—

David and Derek are really nice guys. She’s sitting with them in the bar while Spencer has a heart-to-heart with his parents at the police station. It’s been a long day, he’s learned a lot and she couldn’t wait to unpack it all with him.

“How come you don’t come out with him more often?” Derek asks, unsure of how to broach the subject, but he wants to know.

“What do you know about me, first of all? Because it’ll tell me everything I need to fill you in on,” she asks in a question in response to his.

“I know you met at a support group, I know he loves you, and I know you live with him now.”

She smiles, “I have a rare disability that many people don't believe in, I work from home and I make little art pieces for the different seasons to make money, I don’t really like going outside. much”

“But you flew all the way to Vegas for him?” Derek smiles knowingly.

She nods gently, “he’s still my best friend in the whole world, Derek.”

“Thank you,” is all he says, “you’ve helped him be the same Spencer I met when he started. You’ve brought the joy back to his life, it’s nice to get to know you more.”

He asks to get her a drink then, to make up for everything she’s been through that day. All she wants is ginger ale and Derek gives her a strange look, he really has no idea that she’s a recovering drug addict. Spencer has kept all her secrets nice and safe in his big and beautiful mind.

“I’m allergic to most alcohol,” she isn't lying but it works. “Especially dark tequila and all vodkas, it’s because they’re made from potatoes and I have a potato starch intolerance... you know actually sometimes even hand sanitizers that are made in alcohol facilities give me an allergic reaction as well.”

“Okay, that right there,” he teases, “that’s why he keeps you all to himself.”

She laughs, “that was a bit of a Reid ramble, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Derek’s smile is so soft. “It really was.”

When she finally sees him again, it’s been almost a full day since he called her and asked for her to fly into Vegas. He needed her moral support while dealing with his parents, and he knew she was the only person who knew the extent of what he felt for them. He tried his hardest to be the best kid in the world for both of them, and yet sometimes he feels like both a disappointment and an unwanted mistake.

They hug for so long when he finally enters the bar, that Derek gets up from the table and goes to find someone to occupy his time with. It’s Vegas and he’s Derek after all… it wasn’t going to be hard for him to have a woman hanging off of him soon, too.

Back in his hotel room, he passes out from exhaustion and she just stares at him. He’s been through so much that even his eidetic memory didn’t want to think about it anymore. normally he would recount his day to her with a smile, now he just sleeps peacefully for the first time in days.

He was so soft and sweet even after being through the most terrifying things the human mind and body can go through.

—

They take a few days off, his co-worker has a baby and it’s the perfect time for him to take her to meet them all. They won't be focused on her at all, and thus she will have fewer questions to answer.

Penelope Garcia is a blessing on this earth. The second Y/N lays eyes on her, she knows that they are going to be friends. She’s a hugger, and they’re good hugs, and she was already making plans to hang out and keep Y/N company when Spencer and the team were out of town.

JJ looked beautiful for just giving birth, Emily was intimidatingly smart and beautiful and she didn’t know how to really make eye contact with her without developing a crush on Spencer’s co-worker. Derek was kind as always, and Aaron gives a firm handshake.

JJ asks Spencer to be Henry’s godfather and it’s all a little too much for Spencer to handle after everything from the day before. He’s been through so much that Y/N can see the panic roaring through his veins as he tries to keep his cool in front of his friends.

But when they’re back in their own bed; in the safe space, they’ve created for one another. She’s running her hands along his back as he snuggles into her chest. Normally she’d tease him for being this close to her boobs, but they were comfortable and he likes to hear her heartbeat.

“I thought for a while they were going to tell me I was molested,” he whispers. “I was more relieved to know my mom witnessed a murder… and I hate myself for thinking that.”

“I was,” she whispers into his hair. “More than once by different men.”

He sits up to look at her, she shrugs, “my friend's dad tried to teach me how to drive by sitting me in his lap so that I’d have to bounce on him over the rocky back road. And a scout leader drove me home and kept his hand way too close to my parts and then a teacher-“

“How are you okay?” he stares at her like she's got 3 heads or something as he shakes his head lightly in disbelief.

She laughs, “I’m not. But I am at the same time? I can’t really explain it... it sucks and I hate it but I’m safe with you so I’m fine... but I’m not okay?”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “I’m fine with you but not okay, too.”

They're quiet for a bit, tilting their heads as they stare at each other with soft little smiles. She loves him and he loves her and all she can think about is forever.

“Can I ask you something?” She’s really serious now, looking at him carefully as his eyes light up.

“Anything!”

“Do you think you’ll want kids one day? Even after everything with your dad?” She’s careful, not wanting to hurt him to push him or make him think he’s letting her down if he says no.

“I want kids, even if it’s just one. I want to be a dad and do what my dad couldn’t. I want to love them and help them grow and teach them how to ride a bike and how to do Pythagorean theory,” his words are full of passion, he’s speaking from his gut.

“I want 3 kids,” she smiles. “With you.”

His eyes go wide, “why?”

She smiles because of course, he convinced himself she wouldn't want his kids, he was a worrier.

“My dad was okay, he was pretty distant and cold until I got sick and then he became one of my best friends. Your dad sucked. Together all that love that we craved will go into our little person and they’ll be so happy and wonderful and loved with us."

Spencer nods in agreement, it's soft and sweet and she makes a last-minute decision. "I don’t think I want kids if I can’t have them with you.”

“What’s your 5-year plan look like?” he asks abruptly like he wants to start having kids tomorrow.

“I don’t have one. But I’ve always dreamed of just being a stay-at-home mom and making art on the side. Maybe even babysitting a few other kids during the days… I don’t know. It always felt like a pipe dream before...”

“Before me?” He asks with a smile, proud and believing it. He really knows she loves him and it’s changed him for the better.

She nods, “you wouldn’t mind if I didn’t ever have a real job?”

“I think we’d be okay as a single income family, I make enough to support the apartment bills as well as groceries, then your income can for things you and the kids want. I’m good paying for everything else.”

She smiles, “you just said the kids.”

He’s giddy with excitement as he nods, “I want forever with you.”

“Okay,” she whispers, leaning in to press her lips against his gently like he could break.

He was so special and perfect to her. Even with the scratches and dings in his paint, he was a collector's item, a one-of-a-kind, never-made again, kind of man who she was really happy she found.

taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor

[lightsonparkave]

HAPPY TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO LIGHTS ON PARK AVE! 🎂🎉 In celebration of LoPA’s birthday (August 22, to be exact), all of the prompts from the previous year are up for grabs.

Round 24 will end on August 31, 11:59 PM ET (what time is that for me?).

As always, you’re free to jump in whenever you’d like during the round, a wide variety of work types is accepted, and there are no minimum work requirements. Unfinished works and works for other fandom events are allowed. You can find more information about Lights on Park Ave and the participation guidelines here.

Here are all 149 prompts. Go crazy and have fun! 🎈

ROUND 13: TIME

A quote about being infinite in the present moment from The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“Vellichor,” the the strange wistfulness of used bookstores

“How long is forever?” dialogue from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

“Time” - Hans Zimmer (Inception OST)

A quote and gifset from Denis Villeneuve’s Arrival (2016) about the nonlinear structure of time

Agnès Varda’s portraits when she was 20, 36, and 80 years old

A John Irving quote about what time does to the people who matter to us

Ten traveling back to see Rose on New Year’s Day in 2005 before he dies and reincarnates in Doctor Who

Future inventions in 2015 as seen in Robert Zemeckis’s Back to the Future Part II (1989)

A quote about what time does for wounds

ROUND 14: LIMINALITY

A photoset of various liminal spaces

Illustration of a black cat in front of a red-lit house with the caption, “They say no one is living here—but the lights come on, once every year”

A photoset of Victorian-era spirit photography, an art form that attempted to capture the ghost of a deceased loved one

Information on the famous Mojave phone booth, a lone telephone booth in the middle of the desert that received calls from all over the world

Rosemary Ellen Guiley’s The Encyclopedia of Ghosts and Spirits Third Edition’s definition of “witching hour”

Illustration of a ghost train on an abandoned trestle bridge in the Pacific Northwest

A quote by Isabel Allende about spirits coming out at night in the library

Gifset of the spirit world in Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away (2001)

Illustration of a neon roadside sign of a motel that only appears at night by a long-forgotten highway

“Pacific Coast Highway” - Kavinsky

A gifset quote from The Twilight Zone (1959)

Scenery from Twin Peaks season 1 (1990)

A quote about something shifting into a strange, new place inside of a person from Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado

ROUND 15: LOSS

A quote about being lost and found by someone special by Sue Zhao

A photo of the Mildred, wrecked off Gurnard’s Head, Cornwall in 1912

A quote about ephemerality and the beauty of it from Troy (2004)

Two paintings of people visiting ruins by Caspar David Friedrich

A quote about desire and loss by Lara Mimosa Montes

A photo of an overgrown, abandoned conservatory

A passage about what disappears and what remains in ruins from Suicide by Édouard Levé

Dialogue about gratitude for people who aren’t meant to stay in your life but shape who you are from BoJack Horseman

A scene from Fleabag where the Priest chooses God over Fleabag and gently tells Fleabag that her love for him will pass before they part ways

A prayer to St. Anthony, patron saint of lost things, people, and souls

Oscar Wilde’s tomb in Père Lachaise Cemetery, Paris, covered in lipstick kisses from admirers

Photos of a cemetery statue in Austria, wrapped in branches and dead leaves, holding a single flower

ROUND 16: DEVOTION/SERVICE

A gifset of Kevin on the phone, telling Chiron he’ll cook food for him from Barry Jenkin’s Moonlight (2016)

Buttercup’s monologue to Westley about how she would do anything for him from The Princess Bride by William Goldman

Gifs of Merlin saying that he was born to serve Arthur from BBC’s Merlin

An excerpt about giving all of oneself to someone despite what it costs from House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

A gifset of various times Jaime and Brienne demonstrate their loyalty to and love for each other in Game of Thrones

A gifset of all the different ways Cliff is there for Rick in Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019)

A gifset of Nadia deciding to be by Alan’s side no matter what in Russian Doll

“Devotion” - Ocean Vuong

A gifset of Bond comforting a traumatized Vesper in the shower in Casino Royale (2006)

A gifset of Sookhee refusing to leave Hideko, saying her job is to look after her in Park Chanwook’s The Handmaiden (2016)

ROUND 17: DREAMS

A dreamscape gifset and quote about repressed thoughts in dreams and the Internet from Satoshi Kon’s Paprika (2006)

A gifset of Mitsuha and Taki finally meeting in their own bodies in a dream from Shinkai Makoto’s Kimi no Na wa (Your Name) (2016)

A quote by Tinker Bell telling Peter Pan where he can find her and where she’ll always love him in Steven Spielberg’s Hook (1991)

The scene where Keating tells his students that poetry, beauty, romance, and love give life meaning in Peter Weir’s Dead Poets Society (1989)

An animated illustration of a storefront called “Hauntings” with a flickering “99¢ dreams” neon sign

Various dreamscape scenes and a quote about ideas being the most resilient parasite from Christopher Nolan’s Inception (2010)

A quote about how all living beings must dream to survive reality from The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

A comic about people we love taking turns to visit us in dreams every night

Lovers and Sleeping Couple, two drawings by Egon Schiele

A quote about belief in a better world by Robert Frobisher to his lover, Rufus Sixsmith, in Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

A quote about the feeling of falling in love lingering when you wake up from a dream in Alexis Dos Santos’s Unmade Beds (2009)

A photo of subway graffiti by an unknown author insisting that they’ll never give up making the world a better place to live in

ROUND 18: PHYSICAL TOUCH

A scene about how to return a stolen kiss from Daniel Ribeiro’s The Way He Looks (2014)

A line about kissing someone the way a flower opens from “I Know Someone” by Mary Oliver

A gifset focusing on showing affection and care through hands from Park Chanwook’s The Handmaiden (2016)

A passage about two people leaving invisible marks on each other through the accumulation of touches over the years from A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood

Two conversations about never being touched before and only being touched by one person from Barry Jenkins’s Moonlight (2016)

Going from yearning to touch someone but stopping oneself to being allowed to touch them from Richard Linklater’s Before trilogy

Moving art of two bodies made of stars and the cosmos embracing

A quote about maintaining sanity by touching someone but being separated despite proximity from The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje

A line about proving that one still exists and is real through touch from On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

Different touches between Villanelle and Eve expressing violence, threat, sexual tension, comfort, and companionship in Killing Eve

A juxtaposition of two scenes from Wong Kar-wai’s In the Mood for Love (2000) of Su Li-zhen rejecting and accepting Chow Mo-wan’s hand

A compilation of marble sculptures by Gian Lorenzo Bernini

Syd (Chris Evans) trailing kisses down London’s back in London (2005)

ROUND 19: IMMORTALITY

James Baldwin talking about how art helps you discover that people before you have experienced the same thing as you and you are not alone

Dr. Brand saying that love transcends time and space in Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar (2014)

Nadia and Alan meeting for the first time as they’re about to die and relive the same day again in Russian Doll

The loneliness of losing everyone by having a long life as expressed by Ten in Doctor Who

The doomed eternal time loop romance of Simon and Alisha from Misfits

A quote by Edvard Munch about becoming eternal through the flowers that grow from his body after death

Nagai Kei recalling the traffic accident that killed him and triggered his immortality, making him one of the rare persecuted humans to possess the power, in Ajin

A collection of moments from Jay Russell’s Tuck Everlasting (2002)

A quote by Mary Wollstonecraft hoping for something that lasts inside the heart

Various scenes with Jack Harkness from Doctor Who

Aya telling Asou-kun to live on and live forever as she nears the end of her life in 1 Litre of Tears

An excerpt about the immortalization of the self through love from “Love of the Wolf” in H��lène Cixous’s Stigmata

A collection of scenes from the Black Mirror episode “San Junipero”

Naoko telling Toru to always remember her and remember that she existed in Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

Dom explaining to Ariadne that he uses the PASIV to dream as it’s the only way that he can be with his wife and children in Christopher Nolan’s Inception (2010)

ROUND 20: POETRY

“I’m Going Back to Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense” - Danez Smith

A line about wanting to forget how much you loved someone and then actually forgetting from Bluets by Maggie Nelson

“Perhaps the World Ends Here” - Joy Harjo

“In Time” - W. S. Merwin

“By Small and Small: Midnight to Four A.M.” - Jack Gilbert

“Magdalene: The Addict” - Marie Howe

“Wild Geese” - Mary Oliver

“Morphology 2″ - CJ Scruton

“20″ from Moscow in the Plague Year by Marina Tsvetaeva

“To Hold” - Li-Young Lee

ROUND 21: LONGING

“I Loved You Before I Was Born” - Li-Young Lee

A poem about longing for someone through worlds by Izumi Shikibu

A gifset of Marianne and Héloïse falling in love from Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

“Make Me Feel” - Janelle Monáe

A quote about living in longing being better than realizing that longing from 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami

“I Want You” - Mitski

Orpheus and Eurydice in Hades - Friedrich Heinrich Füger

Long definition of the word “saudade”

Definition of the word “hiraeth”

“Something About Us” - Daft Punk

Two lines about burning quietly from the poem “The Pillowcase” by Annelyse Gelman

A conversation about wanting each other after decades of separation from Pedro Almodóvar’s Pain and Glory (2019)

A Hanahaki disease mood board

“Shrike” - Hozier

Two lines about wanting someone to return from Herakles by Euripides

“Love of My Life” - Queen

“Eyes, Nose, Lips” - Taeyang

A screenshot of Kathy and Tommy holding onto each other desperately from Mark Romanek’s Never Let Me Go (2010) and a quote from Kazuo Ishiguro’s eponymous novel

ROUND 22: YOUTH

“Perfect Places” - Lorde

A piece about realizing you’ll never be this young again, but it’s the first time you’re this old by Kalyn Roseanne Livernois

A conversation between Neil and Mr. Keating about Neil feeling trapped and unable to live the life he wants because of his father from Peter Weir’s Dead Poets Society (1989)

An excerpt about being too young to know how to love properly from Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor” - Arctic Monkeys

Elio’s father telling Elio not to try to rid himself of his sorrow and pain—and with that joy—which he feels so strongly because he’s so young from Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman

A quote about how everything feels final to young people because they’re experiencing it for the first time from Middlemarch by George Eliot

Lara Jean telling Peter that she had to make it seem like she liked him to deal with her love letter fiasco in Susan Johnson’s To All the Boys I Loved Before (2018)

Rue and Jules dancing together and partying it up in Euphoria

“Le Plongeoir” by Laurent Roch

A quote about being pushed into adulthood and not being ready from Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

A photo of a roller rink illuminated by pink and purple lights

Pastel photo series of Coney Island by Mijoo Kim and Minjin Kang

“Hips Don’t Lie” - Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean

“Young Dumb & Broke” - Khalid

Different moments accompanied by the letter to Mr. Vernon at the end of detention from John Hughes’s The Breakfast Club (1985)

Various scenes and a quote about growing up and realizing life isn’t like a fairy tale from Guillermo del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

Stills of the young lesbian couple in love from the music video of “You Know” - Jaurim

Lines by Effy about her emotional and mental struggles from Skins

Nathan chiding the group for not taking advantage of their superpowers as young offenders from Misfits

ROUND 23: HEDONISM

A passage about giving into passion and losing control from The Secret History by Donna Tartt

“Thot Shit” - Megan Thee Stallion

An aesthetic photoset of the Greek god Dionysus

A quote about living for ecstasy rather than balance from From a Journal of Love by Anaïs Nin

A photo of an anonymous person in nothing but a silk robe and lingerie

A photo of Donatella Versace lounging in a chair, surrounded by shirtless, muscular men sunbathing around her in Capri, Italy in 1994

An aesthetic photoset based on The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

The music video for “Heartless” by The Weeknd

A plea for summer to never end from Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman

“Plastic Love” - Mariya Takeuchi

A gifset from the music video of “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd, a continuation of the “Heartless” music video

“XS” - Rina Sawayama

A gifset from the music video of “Body” by Mino

Photos of people dancing at the legendary Studio 54

Photos and a description of the party scene at Studio 54

Chris Evans and Evan Rachel Wood hooking up in a car in the “Gucci Guilty Black” commercial

[sydsweenys]

alias: Mo

age: 22

pronouns: she/hers

favorite faces: uhhhhh, you got a scroll?? But again, top of my head let’s go: Barbie Ferreira, Alexa Demie, Laura Harrier, Melissa Barrera, Alexandra Daddario, Charithra Chandan, Oscar Isaac, Kim Woobin, Alperen Duymaz, Kerem Bursin, Peter Gadiot, Shahid Kapoor, John Abraham, David Casteneda, Justin H. Min + way more faces that I cannot remember, over the top of my head!

favorite books, movies, or tv shows: oh this is a ridiculously long list! For movies, I’d have to go with Begin Again, hands down. Also, I haven’t been watching a lot of movies as of late (gots to change that!). For books, my Goodreads is crying because I haven’t touched it in forever, but over the top of my head, Malibu Rising & The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Reid Jenkins come to mind, We Were Liars by E. Lockhart and The Dark And The Dead by Courtney Gould are the books that come to mind! As for TV shows, I will always go back to Community and Criminal Minds, and I have been slowly watching Vincenzo and Reacher. I have watched a lot of television, and I’m p sure I’m the connoisseur of bad tv.

favorite types of plots: families (either biological, or adopted or even the found family trope), who doesn’t love a good mid-burn romance, definitely would like to explore a relationship falling apart and seeing how it effects everyone in the process. there is also friendships; of convenience, childhood besties, enemies to best friends! mostly, i like to take it all on the chin and keep my mind open!

favorite types of events: oh, i do love those city wide events like festivals and the works, AU and dev events!

something you love to see on sites: diverse faces and backstories, open chances to create meaningful plots + an easily navigated layout (like easy application processes and a clean skin that is easy to look through)

anything else that you’d like us all to know: i love to sleep, i have never written anything in my life and i’m just vibing and chilling. plotting talking, i love. and if you consider us friends, we are friends <3 

[invisibleicewands]

His beard bloomed and his hair sprang forth, like a riot of corkscrews, during lockdown. Now Michael Sheen sweeps on to the National Theatre’s Olivier stage in the manner of an Old Testament prophet descending from Mount Snowdon – or must we call it Yr Wyddfa?

Sheen is best known as a great mimic who played Chris Tarrant in last year’s TV series about the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire coughing scandal, Quiz, and Tony Blair in the 2006 film The Queen opposite Helen Mirren – plus David Frost in Peter Morgan’s play and film Frost/Nixon and Brian Clough in the The Damned United movie.

Here though he takes on the role of the narrator in Lyndsey Turner’s bittersweet revival of Dylan Thomas’s verse drama written for radio in 1954 – re-imagined here in a care home. [...]

Looking pallid and paunchy in his creased shirt and saggy trousers, Sheen takes the role of the story’s narrator, made famous by Richard Burton. Only here, Sheen relates the tale not to the audience but to his father, whose memories have been robbed by Alzheimer’s.Inebriated by the whisky he keeps hidden in his jacket, Sheen stumbles eagerly through the verse as if making it up as he goes along – painting pictures of people (and their dreams) in the Carmarthenshire port that lies ‘fast, and slow, asleep’. [...] The care home setting does feel cheerless at first, but it’s a clever way of focusing the rambling yarn. And furniture on casters – including a shop counter, steaming stove and kitchen table, set with multiple cloths to denote different homes – add a sense of magic and playfulness.Nor could you wish for a more loquacious, richer narrator than hirsute, woody-voiced Sheen, who looks like he’s been training outside an off-licence. I just wish it had been bookended with silence rather than someone else’s words. DailyMail

[...] On the circular stage of the reconfigured, socially distanced Olivier auditorium, Brown’s character patiently sets about starting up the day’s routine with the residents drifting in to sit and talk and stare into space. But the temperature climbs with the unexpected arrival of Mr. Jenkins’ son Owain (Michael Sheen), whose short-fuse exasperation turns swiftly to anger when his father cannot or will not communicate with him. Calmed by the staff, he and his father begin looking at an old family photograph album and Thomas’s original text takes over, now presented as a portrait of the village of Mr. Jenkins’ not-quite-forgotten past. [...] Whenever it is staged — it was last seen at the National 25 years ago — the chief problem is the lack of momentum. Characters’ (in)actions lack consequences, which makes it hard to engage with them except on a momentary basis. Owen and Turner’s new frame seeks to address that directly by making Sheen’s character not an inert, impartial observer but a man desperate to tell the story to and with his father in order to connect, to awaken his father’s distracted mind. Previously neutral descriptions are thus charged up, which intermittently animates proceedings. [...] The ultimate moment of connection between father and son is affecting but the production’s dangerous proximity to unearned sentimentality is also visible. And in the foregoing hour and three-quarter running time (with no interval), the sustained inertia grows wearing. There’s welcome tenderness aplenty but, when it comes to storytelling, there’s too much telling and, alas, too little story. Variety

                                                                                                                             Michael Sheen is terrific in Dylan Thomas’s linguistic tour de force, which remains undimmed by the years [...] The whole home thing is a nice enough idea that ambles on agreeably… but it’s a thrill when the play proper starts: it feels like the air suddenly fizzes and crackles when Sheen’s narrator introduces us to Llareggub on one ‘starless and Bible-black’ night. Ultimately, the care home business feels minor and diversionary, a framework to (kind of) explain why the poem is being performed. But it doesn’t really have a payoff or purpose beyond the performance of the poem itself. I'm not sure anyone really needs my opinion on I ‘Under Milk Wood’ as Thomas wrote it. But for what it’s worth I think it’s brilliant – time hasn’t dimmed it, his language remains bracingly wild, elemental and weird. And this is a very good, detailed performance of it – Sheen is impassioned and urgent, like he’s electrified by the surging flanguage; the cast of mostly older actors tend to get more playful roles, and seem to be having terrific fun. [...] You bought your tickets to see Michael Sheen doing ‘Under Milk Wood’ and you’ve got Michael Sheen doing ‘Under Milk Wood’ – nobody’s going to feel disappointed. Time Out

[...] Sheen – shaggy, bearded and full of humanity – leads as the narrator but this is really an ensemble show, animated with amusing turns by Siân Phillips, Cleo Sylvestre and Ifan Huw Dafydd among others. It comes with an inventive framing device (additional material is written by Siân Owen) in which Sheen plays the son of Richard Jenkins (Karl Johnson), who is losing his bearings when he is visited by Jenkins Junior in his nursing home. [...] While this is a charming production that bewitches, it begs the question of why a drama that is so consciously retreating into the past is revived now, and how it speaks to our pandemic landscape. Thomas draws a picture of a place steeped in stasis and saturated in nostalgia. Time has stood still here, as Thomas makes clear in the symbolism of the village clock’s frozen hands, and it arguably represents his yearning for a bygone world after the second world war. This production seems entirely conscious of its retreat into the past and it resembles a lost world that is both comforting and jarring after the horrors of the pandemic. The Guardian

To hear Michael Sheen deliver Under Milk Wood feels akin to witnessing Gielgud's Hamlet or Rylance's Rooster Byron. It is nothing short of theatrically seminal.As hoped, the poetry is magnificent. He orchestrates Dylan Thomas's posthumously performed masterpiece as a maestro conductor, all waving hands and syncopated rhythm. There are times when his words seem to literally hang in the air, leaving the socially distanced Olivier audience hypnotised. I could listen to him say "Now behind the eyes and secrets of the dreamers in the streets rocked to sleep by the sea…" on loop forever. [...] The concept doesn't always feel completely cohesive - it seems strange that everyone so willingly joins the performance when Sheen's character is so cold and skittish with them initially - but Lyndsey Turner's beautifully choreographed in-the-round production is convincing enough to override such niggles.The metanarrative also has the noticeable effect of causing Sheen to speak as if he is conjuring Dylan's words on the spot. This lends both an immediacy to the language and also a purpose to its rich imagery - after all, here is a man desperately trying to paint pictures in his father's addled imagination. Under Milk Wood is in some sense a victim of its own familiarity, and Turner's staging lends a much-needed freshness over reverence. [...] Whatsonstage

A charismatic Michael Sheen is part showman, part shaman in this staging of Dylan Thomas’s 1954 radio play, conjuring a Welsh town into lyrical, beguiling life with mostly older actors on a bare stage. Lyndsey Turner’s production marks a triumphant reopening for the National’s Olivier Theatre, where the audience now sits on all sides, a configuration that lends itself to simple production values and a deeper communion between actors and onlookers.It begins oddly, though, in the middle-distant past with Sheen as an angry, wild-bearded writer visiting his demented father (Karl Johnson, heartbreaking) in a care home. Thomas’s poetry is the only way to reach the old man, and his fellow residents are duly summoned to incarnate the townsfolk of the author’s fictional Llareggub (“bugger all” backwards). It’s an awkward framing device with a serious point: to stress the importance of community and memory, and salute the talents and rich lives of elder generations. But what a lovely, bittersweet spell this show casts. Sheen, like Richard Burton and Anthony Hopkins, grew up in Port Talbot, an hour from Laugharne where Thomas lived and partially wrote the play. He has the contours of the language and the landscape in his head, and an orator’s relish for Thomas’s evocative phrasing. We first see Llareggub asleep, “starless and bible black” and meet its inhabitants in their dreams. [...] Eveningstandard

[princelymlm]

Gotta Be LGBT+

This is a list of just some of the LGBT+ content out there. Anything on this list was contains LGBT+ characters or was made by LGBT+ creators. All entries on this list were sent in by followers and have not been confirmed by the mod. (Entries with ‘rep not given’ next to them mean that the suggestion did not include what kind of representation is in the content)

Put everything under the cut since this list started getting really long

Books/Comics

They Both Die At The End - Adam Silvera (mlm)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire-Saénz (mlm)

Symptoms of Being Human (genderfluid)

Lily and Dunkin - Donna Gephart (trans/trans woman)

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid (wlw/bi)

The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice and Virtue - Mackenzie Lee (mlm/gay/bi)

Been Here All Along - Sandy Hall (gay/bi)

History Is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera (mlm/gay)

Blue Is The Warmest Color - Julie Maroh (wlw/bi/lesbian)

Mask of Shadows - Linsey Miller (bi/genderfluid)

Once and Future - Cori McCarthy (wlw/mlm/gay/bi/nonbinary)

Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda - Beck Albertalli (mlm/gay)

Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli (wlw/bi)

Grasshopper Jungle - Andrew Smith (questioning/mlm)

The Rest of Us Just Live Here - Patrick Ness (mlm/gay)

Flying Tips For Flightless Birds - Kelly McCaughrain (mlm/gay)

I’ll Give You The Sun - Jandy Nelson (mlm)

Point Pleasant - Jen Archer Wood (mlm) 

True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - Gerard Way (mlm/wlw)

The Wayfarers Series - Becky Chambers (wlw/aro/trans man/nonbinary/genderfluid)

Vesuvius Club - Mark Gatiss (bi)

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller (mlm)

Radio Silence - Alice Oseman (bi/mlm/demi/gay/pan/wlw/lesbian)

Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst (wlw/lesbian)

Magnus Chase Series - Rick Riordan (genderfluid)

Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan (gay)

This Is Kind of An Epic Love Story - Kheyrn Callender (mlm/wlw)

Gracefully Grayson - Ami Polonsky (trans woman)

If I Was Your Girl - Meredith Russon (trans woman)

Call Me By Your Name - Andre Aciman (mlm)

Red, White, and Royal Blue - Casey McQuinston (mlm)

I Wish You All The Best - Mason Deaver (nonbinary)

Dreadnaught + Sovereign - April Daniels (wlw/trans woman)

The Art of Being Normal - Lisa Williamson (trans)

The Gone Series - Michael Grant (mlm/wlw)

One Of Us Is Lying - Karen McManus (mlm)

Six Of Crows - Leigh Bardugo (mlm)

Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo (rep not given)

The Last Sun - Author Not Provided (rep not given)

Romeo and/or Juliet - Ryan North (rep not given)

American Gods - Neil Gaiman (mlm/gay/bi) 

The Mage Wars Series - Mercedes Lackey (gay)

Scott Pilgrim vs The World - Bryan Lee O’Malley (mlm/gay/wlw)

Boyfriends With Girlfriends - Alex Sánchez (mlm/wlw/bi/gay)

Will Grayson, Will Grayson - David Levithan & John Green (mlm)

This Is Where It Ends -Marieke Nijkamp (lesbian/wlw)

Carry On - Rainbow Rowell (mlm)

Stranger Than Fanfiction - Chris Colfer (mlm/trans man/gay)

The Reader Trilogy (The Reader, The Speaker, The Storyteller) - Traci Chee (mlm/wlw/nonbinary)

I Was Born For This - Alice Oseman (trans)

Heartstopper - Alice Oseman (mlm)

The Broken Earth Trilogy - MK Jemisin (trans woman/poly/pan/mlm

A Boy Worth Knowing - Jennifer Cosgrove (mlm/bi/gay)

The Rifter - Author Not Provided (mlm)

Snapdragon - Author Not Provided (wlw/ trans woman)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon (wlw/lesbian/mlm/gay)

Tipping the Velvet - Sarah Waters (wlw/lesbian)

Fingersmith - Sarah Waters (wlw/lesbian)

The Paying Guests - Sarah Waters (wlw/lesbian)

I Am J - Cris Beam (trans man)

Little And Lion - Brandy Colbert (bi)

Autoboyography - Christina Lauren (bi)

Felix Ever After - Kacen Callender (trans)

Birthday - Meredith Russo (trans)

Stay Gold - Tobly McSmith (trans)

You Should See Me In A Crown - Leah Johnson (lesbian)

Girls of Paper and Fire - Natasha Ngan (lesbian)

The Henna Wars - Adiba Jaigirdar (lesbian)

Let's Talk About Love - Claire Kann (ace)

The Lady's Guide To Petticoats and Piracy - Mackenzi Lee (ace/aro)

The Vanishers' Place - Aliette De Bodard (wlw)

Ash - Malinda Lo (wlw/bi)

The Little Homo Sapiens Scientist - S. L. Huang (wlw)

Everfair - Nisi Shawl (wlw)

Dread Nation: Risse Up - Justina Ireland (wlw/bi/ace)

The Gilda Stories - Jewelle Gomez (wlw/lesbian)

The True Queen - Zen Cho (wlw)

The Devourers - Indra Das (genderfluid/bi)

We Set The Dark On Fire - Tehlor Kay Mejia (wlw)

Smoketown - Tenea D. Johnson (wlw/lesbian)

Falling In Love With Hominids - Nalo Hopkinson (wlw)

The Fox’s Tower and Other Tales - Yoon Ha Lee (nonbinary)

Her Body and Other Parties - Carmen Maria Machado (wlw)

Beneath the Citadel - Destiny Soria (mlm/gay/bi/ace)

Witchmark - C.L Polk (mlm/gay)

The Prey of Gods - Nicky Drayden (trans/bi)

An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon (wlw/trans/nonbinary/intersex)

The Root - Na’amen Gobert Tilahun (mlm/gay)

Gods & Monsters: Snake Eyes - Hillary Monohan (wlw)

Labyrinth Lost - Zoraida Cordova (wlw/bi)

The Winged Histories - Sofia Samatar (wlw)

The Weight of Stars - K. Ancrum (wlw)

Huntress - Malinda Lo (wlw)

Will Do Magic For Small Change - Andrea Hairston (bi/pan/nonbinary)

The Last Chronomancer - Reilyn J Hardy (aro/ace/genderfluid/lesbian)

A Taste of Honey - Kai Ashante Wilson (mlm/bi)

Deadline - Stephanie Ahn (wlw/lesbian)

The Read Threads of Fortune - JY Yang (wlw/bi)

Not Your Sidekick - C.B. Lee (wlw/bi)

Timekeeper - Tara Sim (mlm)

Ascension - Jacqueline Koyangi (wlw)

When The Moon Was Ours - Anna-Marie McLemore (trans)

Amberlough - Lara Elena Donnelly (mlm/gay)

The Perfect Assassin - K.A Doore (gay/ace/mlm)

Afterparty - Daryl Gregory (wlw/lesbian)

Borderline - Mishell Baker (wlw/bi)

The Cloud Roads - Martha Wells (bi)

An Accident of Stars - Foz Meadows (wlw/bi/aro/trans)

The Last 8 - Laura Pohl (aro/bi)

Failure to Communicate - Kaia Sonderby (wlw/bi)

The Luminous Dead - Caitlin Starling (wlw)

The Wrong Stars - Tim Pratt (wlw)

Full Fathom Five - Max Gladstone (trans)

A Memory Called Empire - Arkady Martine (wlw)

Silver In the Wood - Emily Tesh (mlm)

The Raven Tower - Ann Leckie (mlm/bi/trans)

Ariah - B.R. Sanders (mlm/bi/nonbinary)

The Raven and the Reindeer - T. Kingfisher (wlw)

Planetfall - Emma Newman (bi)

Black Wings Beating - Alex London (ace/gay/mlm)

The Scorpion Rule - Erin Bow (bi)

Inkmistress - Audrey Coulthurst (bi)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant (wlw/bi/lesbian)

Vengeful - V.E Schwab (ace)

Blackfish City - Sam J Miller (nonbinary)

Daughter of Mystery - Heather Rose Jones (wlw/lesbian)

Stranger Grace - Tessa Gratton (bi/pan)

The Brilliant Death - Amy Rose Capetta (nonbinary)

Chameleon Moon - RoAnna Sylver (wlw/trans/ace)

19 Love Stories - David Levithan (trans/queer)

It’s Not Like It’s A Secret - Author Not Given (wlw)

Picture Us In The Light - Author Not Given (mlm)

Two Can Keep A Secret - Author Not Given (mlm/bi)

Death Sets Sail - Author Not Given (wlw)

Becoming Dinah - Author Not Given (rep not provided)

Witch Wolf series - Winter Pennington (wlw, lesbian, bisexual)

Underrealm series - Garrett Robinson (wlw, mlm, nonbinary, trans man trans woman, trans, pansexual, bisexual)

A Cloak of Red - Brenna Gawain (wlw, lesbian)

 Blood Canticles - Naomi Clark (wlw)

Podcasts

Welcome to Night Vale (mlm/gay/wlw/nonbinary)

Dreamboy (mlm/gay)

Alice Isn’t Dead (wlw/lesbian)

The Penumbra Podcast (mlm/bi/genderfluid/nonbinary)

My Favorite Podcast (trans men)

Within the Wires (wlw)

The Adventure Zone (mlm/wlw/trans/gnc/nonbinary)

Limetown (wlw/lesbian)

Getting Curious With Jonathan Van Ness (nblm/nonbinary)

Friends at the Table (mlm/wlw/nonbinary)

LezHangOut (wlw)

Bright Sessions (mlm/demi/ace)

Queer As Fact (historical lgbt)

History Is Gay (historical lgbt)

Always Here (historical lgbt)

And That’s Why We Drink (nonbinary)

Magnus Archives (mlm/ace)

The Two Princes (mlm/gay/bi)

Girl-ish (trans women)

The Bright Sessions (gay/ace)

TV Shows/Movies/ETC

One Day At A Time (Remake) (wlw/lesbian/nonbinary)

Love, Simon (mlm/gay)

A Single Man (mlm/gay)

Brokeback Mountain (mlm/gay)

In The Flesh (mlm/gay)

Weekend (mlm)

RWBY (wlw/trans)

Jessica Jones (wlw/lesbian)

Critical Role (mlm/gay/bi/wlw/lesbian/nonbinary/genderfluid)

Pose (trans women/gay)

Schitt’s Creek (pan/mlm)

White Collar (wlw)

Lucifer (bi)

Umbrella Academy (mlm/wlw)

Call Me By Your Name (mlm)

Brooklyn Nine Nine (mlm/gay/bi)

Steven Universe (nonbinary)

Sailor Moon (wlw)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (wlw)

Sense8 (mlm/gay/wlw/lesbian/trans woman)

Doom Patrol (?/rep not given)

Good Omens (nonbinary)

Gentleman Jack (wlw)

American Gods (mlm/gay/bi/two-spirit)

Orange Is The New Black (wlw/trans)

Blue Is The Warmest Color (wlw)

Shameless (mlm/trans)

Euphoria (wlw/trans woman)

Modern Family (mlm/gay)

Daisy Brown ARG (wlw/lesbian)

Deadpool (pan)

Deadpool 2 (pan/wlw)

Alex Strangelove (mlm/gay)

Wynonna Earp (lesbian/gay/wlw)

She-Ra (wlw/mlm/gay/bi/lesbian/nonbinary/trans man)

SKAM (rep not provided)

Gotham (bi)

The Haunting of Hill House (wlw)

The Haunting of Bly Manor (wlw)

Kipo and the Wonderbeasts (mlm/gay/nonbinary)

Billie and Emma (wlw)

Carmen & Lola (wlw)

Carol (wlw)

Disobedience (wlw)

Elisa & Marcela (wlw)

Good Manners (wlw)

The Handmaiden (wlw)

Heart Beat Loud (wlw)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (wlw)

Rafiki (wlw)

Stranger Things (wlw)

Handsome Devil (mlm)

Pride (wlw/mlm)

Musicals

The Prom (wlw/lesbian)

Be More Chill (mlm/bi)

Fun Home (wlw)

Spring Awakening (mlm)

A New Brain (mlm)

Falsettos (mlm/wlw)

Rent (mlm/wlw)

Firebringer (wlw/bi)

A Very Potter Musical (mlm/gay)

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals (wlw)

Bare: A Pop Opera (mlm)

Everybody’s Talking About Jaime (mlm/gay)

Yank! The Musical (mlm)

Octet (wlw)

Ghost Quartet (wlw)

Spies Are Forever (mlm/gay)

Willow: A New Musical (wlw)

Over And Out: A New Musical (nblw/nonbinary)

Video Games

Fallout: New Vegas (mlm/gay/wlw/lesbian)

When The Night Comes (mlm/nonbinary)

The Arcana (nonbinary)

Dream Daddy (mlm/gay/bi/pan/trans)

Dragon Age (mlm/wlw/gay/lesbian/trans/pan/bi)

Smile For Me (wlw)

Undertale (trans/nonbinary/wlw/mlm)

Monster Prom (nonbinary)

Cookie Run (nonbinary/mlm/wlw/bi/pan)

The Missing (wlw/trans woman)

Fable 2 & 3 (wlw/mlm)

Borderlands 2 (mlm/wlw/bi/gay/lesbian)

Gone Home (wlw)

Prey (wlw)

Dishonored 2 (nonbinary/wlw)

Deus Ex Mankind Divided System Rift (rep not given)

Assassins Creed Series (mlm/wlw/gay/lesbian/trans)

The Last of Us (wlw/lesbian) 

Mass Effect Series (mlm/wlw/gay/lesbian/bi)

Life Is Strange (wlw)

Overwatch (mlm/gay/wlw/lesbian)

Animal Crossing (pan)

Night In The Woods (pan/mlm/trans woman)

The Elder Scrolls (trans/wlw/lesbian)

Dreamfall Chapters (mlm/gay)

Dishonored: Death of the Outsider (wlw)

In the Outer Worlds (wlw/ace)

Elder Scrolls: Skyrim (mlm/wlw)

Fallout 4 (wlw/mlm)

Hades (mlm/bi)

Obviously this list is far from complete so feel free to add to it or let me know of anything else and I’ll edit the post to add it as long as you include the category it belongs to! Be sure to include what representation it has though otherwise I can’t add it!

[sneakydragon]

Sneaky Dragon Listening Party - Ep. 70

Hello, partygoers!

Well, this is it. The sad moment we knew would come eventually – the final episode of the Listening Party.

But now ain’t the time for your tears – to paraphrase Bob Dylan – we’ve got a show to do! This bi-week, Mary and David read your celebratory – we hope – comments and play some fun Top 5 playlists!

As we pack up the Listening Party rumpus room and put that old beanbag chair back into storage, we’d like to thank everyone who spent time with us here. We hope you know how much we love and appreciate you all!

As always, thanks for listening.

Top 5 Toytown Psych Songs: 1) Manfred Mann – “My Name is Jack” – Fontana Records single b/w “There Is a Man”, 1968 – 26:04 2) Eddy Howell – “Easy Street” – Parlophone Records single b/w “Judy’s Gone”, 1969 – 30:20 3) Keith West – “Sam (from A Teenage Opera)” – Parlophone Records single b/w “Thimble Full of Puzzles”, 1967 – 38:56 4) Noah’s Ark – “Paper Man” – Decca Records single b/w “Please Don’t talk About Yesterday”, 1967 – 45:20 5) Crocheted Doughnut Ring – “Happy Castle” – Deram Records single b-side to “Havana Anna”, 1967 – 1:00:06 Bonus Toytown Psych Song: 6) Broken Toys – “Broken Toys” – Polydor single b/w “Oh Suzanna”, 1971 – 1:05:46

Top 5 New Songs I Wish I’d Played: 1) Juana Molina – “Cosoco” – Halo, 2017 – 1:11:22 2) Once and Future Band – “I’ll Be Fine” – Once and Future band, 2017 – 1:17:28 3) Cassandra Jenkins – “Hard Drive” – An Overview of Phenomenal Nature, 2021 – 1:28:25 4) The Weather Station – “Kept It All to Myself” – The Weather Station, 2018 – 1:37:00 5) Jane Weaver – “Modern Kosmology” – Modern Kosmology, 2017 – 1:44:08

Mary’s Top 5 Phineas and Ferb Songs: 1) Sheena Easton – “When Will He Call Me?” – Phineas and Ferb: Across the 1st and 2nd Dimensions, 2011 – 1:57:07 2) Vincent Martella – “Watchin’ and Waitin’” – Phineas and Ferb: Across the 1st and 2nd Dimensions, 2011 – 2:08:40 3) Danny Jacob – “My Nemesis” – Phineas and Ferb, 2009 – 2:14:27 4) Aaron Jacob “Dance Baby” – Phineas and Ferb: Rockin and Rollin’, 2013 – 2:20:48 5) Aaron Jacob – “Funhouse” – Phineas and Ferb: Rockin and Rollin’, 2013 –

Top 5 Old Songs I Wish I’d Played: 1) Alden Shuman – “Ladies in Love” – The Devil in Miss Jones, 1973 – 2:35:01 2) Erasmus Chorum – “Mary Jane” – Chapter 1 Records EP – b-side to “Oh Lord”, The Holy House (on Sunday)”, 1972 – 2:48:40 3) The Us – “How Can I Tell Her” –Nuggets from the Golden State – Dance with Me: The Autumn Teen Sound, 1994 – 2:59:36 4) Robb Kunkel – “O Light” – Abyss, 1973 – 3:06:07 5) Trader Horne – “Here Comes the Rain” – Dawn Records single b/w “Goodbye Mercy Kelly”, 1970 – 3:14:14

Top 5 Goodbye Songs: 1) Mary Hopkin – “Goodbye” – Apple single b/w ”The Sparrow”, 1969 – 3:21:19 2) The Association – “Goodbye Forever” – The Association, 1969 – 3:29:33 3) Peter Sarstedt – “Sayonara” – Peter Sarstedt, 1969 – 3:32:41 4) The Turtles – “Goodbye Surprise” – Turtle Soup bonus track, 2016 – 3:37:28 5) Jeff Buckley – “The Last Goodbye” – Grace, 1994 – 3:41:14

Also spinning on the old Victrola:

The Free Design – “Friends (Thank You All)” – One by One, 1971 – 3:53:32

Want to see those Phineas and Ferb songs? Well, take a gander at these!

https://media.blubrry.com/sneakydragon/p/content.blubrry.com/sneakydragon/Sneaky_Dragon_Listening_Party_70.mp3

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Sneaky Dragon Listening Party – Ep. 70 was originally published on Sneaky Dragon

[jemej3m]

a comprehensive set of rules (p.2)

i have no control over my writing schedule. it has been completely consumed by this au. this is all of y’all’s fault. 

heavy tw: blood and gore and bodies. also, bad people talking about raping allison and using homophobic slurs.

*

July:

“Andrew,” Renee called out, rapping her knuckles on the guest bedroom gently. 

Andrew was currently living out of one, black suitcase: he’d spent half his time at different hotels and half his time at colleagues’ homes, though calling Allison a colleague was a bit of a stretch. Wymack had let him camp out in his girlfriend’s spare room, seeing as his place was apparently too small for the both of them. Dan and Matt had even let him crash on the couch between motel rooms. 

Andrew was really fucking excited to get his place back. According to Neil, his father was pulling out all stops to get rid of him, or whoever was aiding him. As far as Andrew was concerned, Neil was in more danger, but the man refused to exonerate himself from the situation. The next best thing was ensuring that Andrew was untouchable. 

“Andrew, can I come in?” 

Andrew grunted, still bent over his files in the middle of the room. He’d pushed the bed to one side to make room and was suddenly shirtless, fan pulsating in the corner. He never did great in the heat. 

“Oh,” Neil’s voice squeaked like an elementary schooler’s clarinet. “Uh - I can come back?”

Andrew squinted up at him. “The fuck are you doing here?” he got to his feet and made his way over, reaching up to tug on Neil’s hair. Definitely real. “Huh.” 

Behind Neil, Renee snorted. Andrew glared at her: she put up her hands in surrender and paced off to do something else. 

Andrew shuffled Neil into his room and shut the door, treading carefully around his work. 

“This...” Neil looked over it, carefully avoiding the many photos and files and labelled evidence bags as he walked. He was silent as he moved, unnoticeable if he wasn’t always on Andrew’s radar. 

He also looked much more presentable than the last time Andrew had seen him, which had been before Dimaccio was arrested. A button-down, much like he wore when they first went to dinner. The collar was irritatingly popped, and his trousers were properly pressed, the shoes delicately shined. He looked like a rich man’s son. 

Andrew hated it. He also hated how good it looked.

“Sit on the bed,” Andrew instructed. “I don’t need you scuffing anything up.”

“This seems like a lot more than what’s necessary,” Neil said, avoiding looking at Andrew as he tugged on a shirt. “Also a lot more than we originally discussed.”

Andrew pointed at the profile of a smiling woman, and various other men. “Williams. Reacher. Jenkins. The three of them worked tirelessly on gang violence. They completely eradicated the Terrapin family from the game. Countless Bearcats and Catamounts have been locked up by them. But as soon as they turned to the Wesninski family, they were never found again. Three different detectives. Almost three consecutive years. They deserve justice too.” 

Neil was, clearly, not expecting to have to put names and families to the bodies his father had diced and scattered. His expression had become shuttered as Andrew talked, fingers curling into tight fists, the fabric of his trousers ensnared between his whitened knuckles. 

"You’re afraid.” 

Neil looked at him, eyes blazing. “He is all I’m afraid of. I can’t just - turn that off.”

Andrew crouched down on the floor in front of him. “You’re allowed to be afraid. You have to promise me that you won’t run away because of it.”

Neil’s shoulders were curled inwards. “I don’t want to become him. I don’t -” he looked at the photos of the officers and the remnants of their bodies and the ruination caused by his father’s work. “I don’t want that. I don’t.”

“So leave it behind.”

Neil grit his teeth. “I can’t! Look at me. Look at me. You think this is my father? Parading me around at events, trying to find me a wife who can bear my child, tracking my every move? Of course it’s not. My father is someone else’s weapon, a well-enamoured thug at best. He’s a Baltimorean gangster. He’s not the one in control here.”

Andrew put his hand over Neil’s wrist and let him breathe for a moment. 

“They know that he’s fucked,” Neil continued, eyes squeezed shut. “They know they’re going to lose him. So I’m being conditioned. I’m being shaped up to replace him. You know I’ve been in New York for the past two weeks?” He shoved his hair out of his eyes. Andrew opened his palm upwards, and Neil let himself tangle their fingers. “I want to escape my fate so badly, but my family has been indentured to them for - I don’t even know. Forever, it seems like.”

“Who, Neil?” 

He let out an aggravated sigh. “Who else controls enough of the east coast to keep the fucking Butcher in check? It’s the bloody Moriyamas.” Andrew stiffened. “If you breathe that name outside this room, I’m dead. You’re dead. Everyone you ever loved will die. They’re so well protected that the crazy second son can go off and do whatever he likes, including training to be a police officer and almost killing the partner he’s given, but it doesn’t even matter. It’s hushed up within the week.” 

He held tight onto Andrew’s hand. “The best I can hope for is a negotiation. A price that I can pay off in - a decade, maybe. Possibly two. Maybe securing a new family to pass the relationship to. I don’t know.” 

“Then that’s what you do,” Andrew vowed. “We deal with the monster under the bed first. Then the basement that lets them out. Don’t run,” Andrew insisted, his hand having worked its way up Neil’s arm to grip the back of his neck. “Don’t hide. You can’t afford to, not now.”

Neil rested their foreheads together. “I’ll try.”

Andrew’s thumb brushed circles under Neil’s jaw. “That’s all I ask.”

*

Breaking news: Nathan Wesninski being brought to court for multiple homicides, including Baltimore police officers and Mary Hatford, his wife...initially being assessed for money laundering and tax evasion, Wesninski is now being persecuted for multiple acts of violence, mutilation and extortion. Police officers under Captain David Wymack have collated resources and new-found evidence and will attempt to put Wesninski behind bars permanently.

*

August: 

Andrew’s heart was pounding. They’d tapped into comms just over an hour ago, received the corresponding telephone data and locations, and now they were paging the block. 

It was eerily quiet, and too dark for a suburban area. The cul-de-sac had no streetlights and all the houses were either empty, with for sale! signs posted on their laws, or all the blinds were drawn closed. It was only nine in the evening. 

Andrew took out his gun as they approached the house. Renee was at his shoulder. 

The house in question was two-storey, seemingly empty, the garage locked shut. The gardens were immaculately kept, the painted finish on the house brand new. God knows what was happening within: Andrew hoped that whatever mess had been made within wasn’t irreparable. 

Andrew’s radio cackled. “How do you want to go about this, Minyard?” 

Andrew cracked his knuckles and fished out his lock picks from his back pocket as he radioed back. “Silent entry. I’m going to unlock the door, and only our squad heads in. Everyone else surround the premises if they notice and escape.”

“Alright, sarge,” Matt said, jokingly, a few feet behind Renee. Dan must have pinched him because he immediate said “Ow!” 

Andrew and Renee crept up onto the front balcony: Andrew crouched down and worked for about two minutes till the lock had opened. Kevin had already phoned the security firm to let down the alarms, so Andrew and Renee stepped inside, unnoticed. Dan, Matt and Kevin dispersed, but Andrew always headed to the basement. 

The light was on. 

“...We should get back to Junior,” one voice said. “God knows he’s probably slipped free by now.”

“You kidding? We had him practically halfway into a coffin. Let’s just clean this up first.”

“Maybe pretty Alli’s woken up. If Junior wasn’t so fervently protective of her I’d’ve had her bent over by now.” 

“Christ, Romero." But the man was laughing. “Maybe now’s your chance.”

Disgust crawled down his spine. He glanced at Renee, just as they approached the doorway: she had her eyes closed momentarily, lips moving with a prayer. The door was left ajar. 

One, he mouthed. 

“Didn’t think boss had the guts to get rid of little Junior.”

Two, she returned. 

“Maybe he liked that bitch of a wife, after all. He could’ve had a kid with Lola and gotten rid of the pathetic faggot, but he stuck by Nathaniel anyway.”

Three, they both nodded, kicking the door wide open with his foot and grasping his gun in both hands. 

“Hands up,” he growled. “Drop whatever you’re holding.”

“Kneel,” Renee said, softly. “We will shoot you if you don’t comply.”

Neither of the men had guns. They dropped their knives to the ground and knelt down, furious. By them was a body, heavily dismembered. The hair was neither auburn nor blonde.

“Basement,” Andrew barked into his radio, training his gun on the one he recognised as Romero. His hands were limp, twitching by his sides. Andrew wanted to cut them from his body and watch him bleed. 

The other three skidded into the room, guns ready. 

“Go find them,” Renee murmured, under the cacophony of Dan and Kevin wrangling the perps to the ground, Matt kneeling by the body. “Andrew, go.” 

He nodded stiffly, falling back. Up the stairs and to the left was the door to the garage, which he kicked down. Switching the lights on, he looked to the two persons still on the floor, tied up and beaten down. 

“Andrew,” Neil gasped, covered in blood and cuffed at the wrists and ankles. Allison seemed alright, if a bit groggy, with a gag in her mouth and her hands tied behind her. 

Andrew grabbed the hedge clippers from the wall of gardening tools and broke through the handcuffs, cutting Allison’s rope bindings and tugging off her gag. 

“Perps restrained, fall in through the front,” Dan said through the radio. “Victim dead. Get a stretcher: Forensics team definitely not necessary.” 

“We can’t be found here,” Allison hissed. “We can’t be brought in.”

“Jesus Christ,” Andrew muttered, fishing the keys to his cousin’s place out of his pocket. “Fine. If you can get him on his feet,” he jerked his head to Neil, who muttered I’m fine. “Go to Nicky’s place. I’ll meet you there later. Unless you need a hospital?”

“It’s all superficial,” Neil mumbled, wincing. Andrew felt concern curl and knot in his stomach. He looked to Allison. 

“Maybe you should do a first-aid cert.”

“Maybe that’s not a half bad idea,” she grunted, hauling Neil to his feet. 

“The back should be clear of cops now,” Andrew said, cutting through the padlock on the garage door. “Get out.”

“Good to see you too, Minyard,” Allison drawled, pulling Neil along. With a wink, they were both gone. 

Andrew rubbed at his temples, giving himself only a minute of reprieve, before heading back into the fray. 

*

Nicky’s house was cold and dark. The two of them had been on a spontaneous trip around Europe for the last few months, visiting Erik’s family. Nicky wasn’t stupid: when Andrew offered him this and that, he took it without question and knew there was a reason why.

“When I get back,” he insisted over the phone. “When I get back the three of us are visiting Aaron. Got it?”

“Fine,” Andrew had grunted, hanging up on his cousin without a goodbye. 

Neil had parked himself on the couch, staring at the ceiling with square bandages across his cheeks. Bruises mottled his skin, and his hands and forearms were mummified in a similar fashion. 

“I was going to try and contact you,” Neil said, not needing to see Andrew to know who’d entered the house. “I would’ve called you.”

Andrew sat on the end of the couch as Neil drew his feet up to give him room. “Right.”

The man struggled into a seated position. “I was.” 

“Should’ve let them kill you,” Andrew muttered, glaring at the unused television. Neil snorted, swinging his legs off the couch and settling next to Andrew. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” 

“Just - shut up.” 

For a while they sat in silence. Andrew lit up a cigarette and smoked it through to the filter. Neil seemed to lean a little closer, attracted to the scent. 

“Hey,” he murmured, when Andrew threw the stub onto the coffee table. 

Andrew turned and looked at him. His eyes were clear, purposeful. Andrew remembered their first date, their second. Cleavers and thugs and light, candle light and club lights, striping across Neil’s cheekbones like something from a painting. 

Kissing him felt - 

Normal. Right. Like coming home. Like finding - not the last piece of the puzzle, but the last edge, making a solid shape to be filled in, something clear and decisive. Andrew’s fingertips found his jaw and he felt Neil’s fingers curl in the collar of his vest. His police vest. 

It was enough to draw him to a stop, pulling back just enough for him to breathe. 

“You don’t swing,” Andrew accused, poorly hiding how winded he was.

Neil huffed, equally as breathless. “You don’t date.” 

Andrew’s teeth ground together. “You don’t date cops.” 

“And you don’t date mobsters,” Neil retorted. “What’s your point here?” 

“Yes or no?” Andrew demanded, because he needed to know. He needed to know for sure. Without a doubt, with complete surety, with perfect clarity - 

“Yes,” Neil answered. “Obviously.” 

“‘Obviously’,” Andrew parroted with a scoff. “I hate you.” 

When Neil’s lips curved up into a smile, Andrew kissed him quiet. 

*

September: 

“You know I’ve got a week off, after next week,” Andrew said, trailing his fingers over the threadbare t-shirt that Neil wore. He said ‘next week’ and not ‘Nathan’s trial’. They’d both come to an agreement that where they could avoid talking about it, they would. 

It was out of Andrew’s hands, anyway. All the evidence was with the prosecutor, and it was their job to put him behind bars. 

There was no way Nathan Wesninski was getting out, now. Not a single chance. 

Which meant there was no reason to talk about it. Or about Neil’s future inheritance of his father’s position, or Andrew’s award of recognition for his work. Which felt rather cheap, really - he was just lucky that Neil had decided to give him a second chance. 

Then again, policing was mostly luck, and a bit of charisma. Andrew was usually lacking in both, but right now, in the golden afternoon sunlight, with Neil in shorts and unkempt hair, he felt incredibly lucky. 

Neil craned his head back to look at Andrew. His new scars were bright red, but healed over at this point. “Just Chicago?” 

Andrew hummed assent, closing his eyes and pressing his nose to the crown of Neil’s head. Casual intimacy had always been - too much. Too soft, too nice, like it was covering up something sinister. Never had Andrew felt so relaxed, not even after sex, which usually resulted in Andrew grabbing his shirt, shoes, phone and wallet and leaving immediately. 

And they hadn’t had sex yet. Andrew didn’t know if Neil would ever want to have sex. That was - unsurprisingly - not the most important thing on Andrew’s list of wants and needs. 

Instead, here he was, lying on his back in Nicky’s guest bedroom. Neil was lying next to him, on his side, head cushioned on Andrew’s shoulder. And he did want this. He’d been tied up and exhausted for months: now it was all coming to its peak, the finish line right around the corner. And they were - okay. Ish. Maybe. Probably. Andrew wasn’t peeved about it. 

“Don’t die whilst I’m gone,” Andrew muttered, fingers threading through his hair. 

“I have to go to New York, anyway,” Neil said, sullen. “Might as well do it whilst you’re away.” 

“How many times are they going to pull you up there?”

“Till they’re confident I won’t screw everything up in the change-over, I guess. Or maybe it’s about the wife thing.” 

Something in Andrew’s chest twisted. He simply hummed. 

Neil shifted, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Andrew properly. “You know I’m not going to go through with it, right?”

“And if they threaten you?” Andrew reminded him. “Your life isn’t exactly yours.”

“Fuck them,” Neil said as he leaned forward, forever antagonistic. Andrew sighed: Neil paused. “No?”

“Yes,” he muttered, pulling Neil down. One hand brushed along the slither of exposed skin that revealed itself as Neil’s shirt rose up: Andrew relished in the shiver that flitted across Neil’s skin. His scarred fingers - covered in circular burns from a dashboard lighter and various scratch ridges - felt familiar and known when Andrew guided them to the back of his head. Neil was careful, as always.

Andrew had intended on asking when the hell Neil had heard about Andrew’s past, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know. He didn’t want to talk about it now, anyway.

Just as Neil let Andrew push his shoulder back, following him over to kiss him into the mattress, Allison’s nails tapped impatiently on the bedroom door. Andrew broke away, startled, just as Neil cursed, sitting up. 

“Yes, Allison?” Neil demanded, clearing his throat. “What is it?”

“You sound odd,” Allison remarked, door handle turning. 

“Uh - !” Neil scrambled off the bed, looking to Andrew with wild eyes. “I’m - naked! Don’t come in.”

“Right,” Allison drawled. “Should I just wait in my room for him to leave, then?”

“I hate you,” Neil complained. “What do you want?” 

“Andrew’s phone was going off in the kitchen,” Allison said, slyly. “Sounds like the prosecuting lawyer wants some of your time, Andrew. Nice of you to glide by without saying hello.”

“I’m busy,” Andrew retorted. 

Allison just laughed, strutting down the corridor with her heels tapping on the wooden floorboards. Neil crossed his arms, red-faced. 

“C’mere,” Andrew said, still sitting on the bed. 

“But Thea,” Neil tried. 

“The law can wait,” Andrew insisted, extending his hand.

The look in Neil’s eyes sent sparks flying across Andrew’s skin. 

*

“Took you long enough,” Thea Muldani said, a master of clipboards and abridged glares. She was a lawyer worth Andrew’s time, he knew that, but he also didn’t feel like putting up with Kevin’s heart-eyes or Renee’s unsubtle glances. 

Jesus Christ, he thought, slamming his bag on the table hard enough to cause everyone to jolt. “I’m here, now.” 

“Congratulations,” Thea remarked. “Don’t care. We have a problem.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes. 

“Nathan Junior’s prints are all over a tonne of this evidence. If we don’t have him accounted for, defence is going to be all over it.”

“Are you serious?” Dan demanded. “Nathaniel would’ve been 15 when Mary was murdered.” 

“Doesn’t matter. If the evidence has been tampered with, it could be rendered useless. It would be extremely helpful,” Thea said pointedly. “If people’s CI’s could come forward and testify. We have almost no witnesses, except for Andrew and Renee, who claimed that Jackson Plank and Romero Malcom were acting on orders from Nathan whilst murdering Janie Smalls, last month. Neither of them will confess to any sort of collaboration with Wesninski, and two unidentified blood sources were found in the garage.”

“That sounds like circumstantial bullshit,” Dan argued. 

“And can we prove them wrong?” Thea shot back. “No. We can’t. For all we know, it’s been Nathaniel behind all of this instead. He’s certainly old enough now.”

Andrew stood out of his chair, grabbed his things and turned to leave. 

The lawyer gave him an appraising look. “I haven’t dismissed this meeting, Minyard.”

“I don’t care,” Andrew said. “If you won’t do your job, then I suppose I’d better go and fucking do it for you.” 

“It’s Thursday,” Thea reminded him. “Case starts on Monday.”

Andrew ignored her, making sure to slam the door on the way out. 

*

Romero Malcom was a sullen man. His skin was papery thin, even only a few weeks into his prison stay. Andrew couldn’t say that he pitied him. He sat down with his cup of coffee, leaning back in his chair with his leg crossed at the ankle. Romero was locked to the interrogation table opposite, shoulders curled in, fingernails scratching against the table top. 

Trying to get a rise. It wouldn’t work. 

“Honestly, between you and your sister, you seemed like the more rational one,” Andrew said, eyebrow arched. He put his coffee down and opened up his file. “Did you think about how your lifestyle had an expiry often? Nathan had Dimaccio as his right-hand man, but kept Lola as his carefully concealed weapon. You and Plank seemed just like...more prized cannon-fodder.”

Romero’s eye twitched. 

“You know, you said something that caught my interest,” Andrew leaned forward. “You said you’d’ve fucked Nathaniel Wesninski’s friend. What was her name?”

“Allison,” he said. 

“Right. You said you’d intended to rape her.”

“No wonder you’re so hung up on it, Doe,” Romero sneered. So they’d all done their research. “Well I didn’t, did I? Not that she’s shown up. She knows Nathan’ll kill her. He’s pretty sure she’s the rat.”

“Do you think she is?” Andrew inquired. “Mind you: I know who the rat is, and you don’t.”

“I think she’s the rat.” Romero sneered. “Princess bitch won’t be loyal to nothing but herself.”

“Which was why he asked you to kill her. She’d betrayed you all.” 

“We didn’t kill her.”

“No, but you were going to. He wanted you to kill all three of them.” 

“It was probably Junior that called the cops on us,” Romero scoffed. Andrew’s jaw ticked. “Fucking brat. It was about time.”

“About time for what?”

“To get rid of him.” Romero rolled his eyes. “Not that Plank could manage that, either. Useless. But Nathan gave us the call. We were waiting for it, honestly. Killing off Junior meant there was more of an incentive to keep Nathan out of jail. Otherwise there’s no other options.”

Moriyamas, Andrew thought, but he had no interest in involving them. “So Nathan called the two of you, ordered you to get rid of Allison and Nathaniel.”

“He didn’t want them showing their faces and causing trouble.” 

“So why Janie?”

“Wrong place, wrong time,” Romero laughed. It sounded like rusted truck breaks. Andrew was very close to knocking the scalding coffee onto exposed skin. 

“Nathan probably ain’t happy,” Andrew amended. 

Romero barked out another laugh. “He’ll be livid at this point. He sent me an email on exactly what he wanted me to do to your tiny little body, Minyard. An email. Who the fuck sends emails anymore? Anyway, yeah. He’s pissed.”

Andrew stood up from the table, carefully putting his audio recorder into plain sight as he picked up his coffee. “Well, I’d say it was a pleasure, but it wasn’t.” Romero looked at the recorder, slightly sickly. “Have fun in here, Malcom. I’m sure your sister sends her regard from max.”

With that he spun on his heel, the sweet sounds of Romero’s panic putting a hop in his step all the way out of the centre. 

*

“I’ve never...” Neil chewed his lip. “Get a blood sample? That’d put me into the system.”

“And help me identify your pieces as they come floating down the river, if your father’s bosses ever learn about this,” Andrew reminded him. “If I can prove that Romero and Jackson were ordered to kill you, there won’t be any ground to stand on. Neil. Remember what I said.”

The man looked at him from an extended moment of time, evaluating and revelautating. 

“Alright,” he said, voice barely a whisper. “Okay.” 

*

October:

Andrew leant his head from side to side, letting his spine slot itself back into place. He hated everything about flying, so much so that even his cousin’s persistent chatter hadn’t been enough to distract him from his living nightmare. 

“Well!” his cousin said, somehow still animated. He and Erik had spent their time in Chicago getting over jetlagged and playing with Aaron’s new puppy, whilst Andrew spent his time watching their antics and silently drinking coffee with Aaron, save for the occasional question here and there. 

Heard you made a big bust, yeah. How’s the residency. A nightmare. Katelyn and I want a baby when it’s done, though. Interesting. You can be the Godfather. Save that for Neil. Neil? Like, the criminal guy? Don’t mention it. Andrew - I said, don’t mention it. Oh, fuck. You’re serious. Jesus Christ, okay. 

“Shall we get a cab?” Nicky inquired. 

“Neil can drop you home on the way to mine.” 

Nicky narrowed his eyes. “Neil? Like, absolute hottie Neil? Allison’s friend? The one you never called back because you’re an idiot?”

“I hate you,” Andrew insisted. 

“Oh my god!” Nicky squealed, tugging on Erik’s arm. “I didn’t know y’all were together. How long has it been? Andrew, you gotta tell me these things!” 

“On second thoughts, you should take a cab,” Andrew grunted, lugging his luggage to where he knew Neil would already be standing, waiting for them to arrive. 

Nicky’s laugh rang out like bells, just as Neil rose up his hand to wave the three of them over. 

Yeah, Andrew thought, letting Nicky gush whilst Neil looked at him like that. 

This isn’t half bad. 

*

And that’s how they got together! andrew will continually tell himself that neil inherited the syndicate after they got together, even if there was only like a month or so between their first kiss and nathan getting locked up. neil will continually tell himself that andrew was only interested in him for the case. they’re both stupid liars who are in love.