#dancer body image issues

[hoeforbillieeilish]

yall @na girlies would THRIVE in my dance school. im being told to lose weight. im being told to restrict. its insane of course, a normal healthy person wouldnt last a day there, but i still cant fathom the fact that this is normalized. students being bodyshamed by teachers. all i hear every day and every hour is that "skinny is beautiful" and "big girls dont belong on the stage". going to school for me is like having a real life me@nspo-giving person

[honeyhoshi]

you do it naturally

summary: the hiding, the secrets, and staying back to watch him shine has never been an issue. until today.

it’s the night before the biggest show of his life, but it’s soonyoung's turn to show her that he’s her biggest fan.

this is a part of the playlist universe

genre: social media au/trad fic hybrid, solo idol au, celebrity x non-celebrity

wordcount: 4,606

pairing: solo idol!hoshi x afab!reader

warnings: discussions about self-esteem issues, body image/weight, feelings of jealousy, plenty of frustrated tears, afab reader, female anatomy, fingering, squirting, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, crying during sex (good!!), dirty talk (lovingly), pussy drunk hoshi (canon), implied chubby/bigger reader

author's notes: unfortunately i am horribly in love with hoshi so this is my humble contribution to his smut tag

As someone whose life revolved around sugar, butter, and flour, this was a new world. The tension in the air is palpable and the flurry of activity is so different from the kind of rush you’re used to. You’re nearly tripping over your feet trying to catch up to the member of the staff who's been sent to assist you. This must be so out of their scope of work, it's almost embarrassing how clueless you are to all of this.

It’s been three years since you started dating Soonyoung, and while you’ve never missed one of his shows in Seoul, this is your first time attending one of his rehearsals. He’s notorious for being laser focused and demanding of his team, making sure everyone remembered their collective goal of an amazing show. You never wanted to get in the way of that or to be considered a distraction. 

In fact, that’s always how you’ve operated as his girlfriend. You understand where you stand, what your role is, and when it’s time to work, you will stand back and let him shine.

But when you make it to the front of the stage, taking a seat close to Soonyoung’s managers after giving them a friendly smile, you can’t help the wave of pride that comes over you as you take everything in. The stage is massive, the largest Soonyoung’s ever had, and over thirty dancers are on stage with him as he adjusts the blocking and tweaks steps.

Then he catches your eye.

His eyes disappear as he smiles and you can’t help but do the same. You fight off the urge to wave, wanting him to get back to what he’s doing knowing full well they have limited time to go over everything before resting for the evening. You can’t take your eyes off him though. Preparations for concerts usually take him away from you for weeks at a time, and with the scale of this one, you hadn’t seen each other in the flesh for a month.

Just seeing him in front of you now already makes you feel sated.

“Can we do another run of the new song with the pair choreo. We just want to see which works better,” the director calls from the tech booth.

“Nari-ssi, please come up. Everyone else, take 5,” the choreographer on stage with them calls into her mic.

Soonyoung had mentioned he was debuting a new song at the concert. It was something he and Jihoon had worked on last minute that he couldn’t stop talking about, wanting to drop hints but also saying he wanted it to be a surprise for when you would see it at the show. He had dropped the topic dead a few weeks ago.

Nari bounds up the stage with a glorious spring in her step, bare faced but glowing. Her practice clothes fit her like a glove and her overall vibe gives off the energy that she herself was an idol.

That ugly feeling starts to simmer in your stomach as what you suppose is the song starts to play. The intro is slow and sultry and the sweat in your palms starts to grow uncomfortable. Only an idiot wouldn’t understand the sensuality of this song from the get go.

The love of your life is standing right there but you can’t take your eyes off of Nari as she finds her blocking before the verse starts. Nari smiles at Soonyoung and makes a comment you can’t hear from your seat. You feel sick.

Soonyoung and Nari are facing each other with one of his hands on her chin, lifting her gaze to him. His other hand is resting on her slender hip and in a three count from their choreographer, they move in unison.

“Three, four, five, ‘oh baby, cause I’ da, da da!”

The MR only covers the backing vocals but still you know that’s Soonyoung’s crooning and matched with the way his and Nari’s hands and bodies move, you’re transfixed. Horribly.

You avert your eyes, unable to focus and try to play it off as replying to an urgent message, but you’re startled when you hear a loud “SOONYOUNG FOCUS!”

Your head flies up to find Soonyoung staring you down from the stage, eyebrows furrowed and looking, dare you say, nervous.

“We need to see how this is actually going to look like tomorrow, so please let’s put more effort into this. Poor Nari’s giving it her all, Nyoung-ah.”

Soonyoung tries to communicate with you wordlessly but your unwillingness to keep eye contact makes it difficult for Soonyoung to get whatever it is across.

The music plays back again and they return to their starting positions and you know he’s turned it On.

The look on his face, the focus in his eyes. This is what he looks like when he’s locked in, and when his body starts to move, everything falls away.

But Nari.

They move seamlessly, sensually, and just Right. She matches every beat, wave, and touch he gives her. And gives back that same sultry energy with a flick of her wrist, dip of her hip, and when she leans her head back on his shoulder, allowing him to move her body to the music.

You could never move like that. You could never fit in his arms like that. 

The song ends and the dancers around them hoot and jeer and Nari blushes as she and Soonyoung finally break their grazes, breathless.

They would never cheer for you like that.

This has never gotten to you this badly. Usually, the distance between the two of you allows you to compose yourself when things get muddled in your head, able to piece yourself together when the fear and insecurity claw up your throat. But your usual proximity is nonexistent and the gap has been closed.

Being with an internationally acclaimed artist meant busy schedules and only being able to squeeze in the littlest dates every now and then. You had time to prepare for those, give yourself the pep talk of It’s been three years. If he wanted you gone, he’d have said something by now.

In preparation for the show you two had made prior plans you would stay with him, an impromptu long weekend “getaway” you had put in at work almost 3 months ago. But now it feels like you’re trapped. You’ve been short with him since his rehearsals wrapped and you’d met up with him in his private dressing room. You could only stomach to say surface level good jobs and you’re always so amazing!

There’s no way he hasn’t picked up on it yet because the air in the car was nonexistent. It was stifling and you could feel the waves of anger simmering underneath Soonyoung’s skin, just waiting to burst forth the moment the two of you were alone.

He knew something was wrong. He always knew. 

The ride up the elevator to his unit felt like the longest and shortest elevator ride of both of your lives and the second Soonyoung had let you into his place and locked the door behind him, you wanted to cry.

“Can we finally talk about this?” He starts. 

“What?”

“Babe.”

“Soonyoung.”

“Are we really doing this?” He sighs, exasperated.

You feel bad. But the sadness is gnawing at your head and heart and neither are working correctly.

“We’re not ‘doing’ anything, Soonyoung.” You say as you toe off your shoes and put down your bag before facing him.

And what a glorious face it is. He’s always been the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. He looks best like this, you think. Soft and free of makeup and tired and home.

“I’m sorry,” you start, face beginning to crumple and the sting of hot fresh tears threaten to spill.

“No, no, no, baby. Come on, come here,” Soonyoung’s scrambling to pull you into his arms, “Hey, hey, shhh. Look at me, talk to me.”

He pulls her face into his hands and tries to lift her gaze towards him. But she fights and tries to keep her head down.

“Baby, you have to talk to me, okay? You have to talk to me and tell me what I did wrong, hmm?” He respects your refusal to look at him and instead hugs your head to his chest, resting his chin atop the crown of your head.

Soonyoung wraps his other hand around your shoulders and maneuvers the two of you to lay on the couch, You’re still sobbing, large tears falling from your eyes and dampening the shirt he’s wearing.

When he moves to lay down on one of your favorite spots to cuddle in his home, you freeze in his arms, sobs stopping and shoulders going rigid. You push yourself off of him, hands going up to brush the tears off the face.

“No, no, I’m too heavy, I'll crush you.” It is almost business-like how you snap back into this cold tone.

Soonyoung stops, sits up straight, “What are you talking about?”

You groan, “Soonyoung, I don’t want to get into it. Please, you’ve had a long day, tomorrow is going to be—“

“No,” he cuts you off, “We don’t get to talk about tomorrow until we talk about today. Until we talk about what’s going on right now.”

“Soonyoung—I just. I don’t know how to talk about this. I’m just blowing things out of proportion. It’s nothing, I swea—“

“It isn’t nothing, though, is it?” He says, softer now. He reaches up for your hand, “You’re upset. You’ve been upset since I saw you after rehearsals. We have to talk about this, baby. We promised each other we’d talk things through.”

Your eyes sting again, a fresh batch of tears ready and threatening to make their appearance. That sharp feeling in your nose is there, any second now.

“Tell me how I can make it better, baby.”

The dam breaks and you fall boneless into Soonyoung’s embrace. You straddle his lap and wraps your arms around him, pressing the two of you chest to chest.

You bury you face in Soonyoung’s neck and let out a shuddering sob.

“I’m sorry, I’m being so, so immature and so unreasonable. You didn’t do anything,” you say, still slightly unintelligible from the tears.

“You’ve never done anything that’s made me sad or angry, Soonyoung. It’s me, it’s me and my stupid brain.”

“Hey, hey, no. Please please don’t say that, hmm? Let’s work this out together,” Soonyoung coos.

“I-i-i just felt so horrible, Soonyoung!” You finally cry, “She looked so beautiful and perfect and just so RIGHT in your arms and God, the way you two moved and how everyone watched the two of you.”

Soonyoung pulls away, grasping you face in his hands and finally locking eyes with you.

“I know I said I’m okay keeping this a secret and keeping everything simple and under wraps, and it’s fine! I promise, it really isn’t that.”

“Then what is it, baby?”

You’re quiet for a bit as Soonyoung traces the path of your tears with his thumbs, wiping them away.

“I’ll never be able to do what she can. Nari. I’ll never look like her or act like her or move like her. I can’t even dance with you without looking like a fool.”

Soonyoung feels his heart sink. His own eyes start to grow bleary and when he blinks a tear falls to his cheek. He drops his head to your chest and breathes you in.

“I’m sorry—“

“Oh no, Soonyoung it isn’t yo—“

“I’m sorry that things have gotten this far that you’ve grown to feel that way. I’m sorry because I know in some way or form all of this has become that and I didn’t catch it.”

When he lifts his head, tear tracks mark his pretty face and his nose is red.

“But you have to know,” he starts, eyes very serious, and not daring to look away from you, “You have to know that you are everything. You are everything to me. You’re even more than that.”

“And we are going to dance. Oh we are going to dance all the time. I am going to dance with you in the kitchen when we’re waiting for focaccia to bake, we are going to dance in the bedroom when we change the sheets, and we are going to dance when I marry you. And everyone will have their eyes on you and they will clap and cheer because just look at the woman I love.”

“Soonyoung—“

He stands with a start and you instinctively wrap your arms around him, elbows hooking over his shoulders. His hands are under your thighs, fingers pressing into the soft flesh. He’s carrying you into his room.

The lights automatically flicker on as he enters and kicks the door closed behind you, “In fact, baby, why don’t we start now hmm?”

“What, start what?”

He grins and any semblance of sadness has vanished from his face. He smiles and something in your heart is elated.

“Dancing, of course.”

Soonyoung is known in the industry as an ace — able to sing, rap, compose, choreograph, and above all things, dance. And dance with you he does.

The way he can make your body move is unexplainable because once he placed you at the center of his bed, he’d strummed at your body, mouthed at your pulse and had gotten you out of your top and jeans before you could even fully comprehend.

His mouth is hot on yours and he breathes in your air as soon as you exhale and you’re growing lightheaded as his hands continue to undress you. In an attempt to get some air in both your lungs, he pulls away to frantically tear his shirt over his head, not daring to take his eyes off you. He flings it over his shoulder unceremoniously, not a care in the world where it lands and makes quick work of his sweatpants. 

“What, you thought you’d get lucky tonight?” You quip at him, “Even when you knew I was feeling tilted?

He’d gone commando.

“Good mood, bad mood, whatever the fuck mood, I want you,” he laughs as dives back in to kiss you.

His hands are everywhere, like he doesn’t know what and where to touch, wanting to feel you everywhere before settling on the thickness of your thighs. He spreads your legs slightly so he could slot himself in between them, cock pressed perfectly to your center. 

And then he grinds. The head of his cock nudges perfectly at your clothed clit and you let out a mewl.

“There you go, let me hear you,” he groans into your ear, “Y’sound so good for me, sweetheart.”

“Soonyoooouung,” you can’t control the drawn out moan of his name. After everything you’re pent up and everything feels too much already.

He lets his mouth trail wet, open mouthed kisses from your jaw to your neck as his hands busy themselves undoing the hook of your bra. He scrambles to get it off of you and immediately pulls one nipple in his mouth, nipping and soothing it with a slow lave of his tongue.

He grips your other breast in his palm and squeezes, biting his lip at how your flesh molds to his touch.

“Fuck your tits are fucking perfect.”

This man was groping and grinding against you, and you blush as he compliments your breasts.

He continues kissing down the valley between your breasts and you hold your breath as he starts pressing his lips onto your stomach. It dips and springs back as he moves and your eyes zero in on the deeper colored lines of your stretch marks. There are more on your thighs to match.

But he makes no comment. 

He instead groans whenever he stops to suck a bruise and to run his tongue over the mark he’s made. 

“You’re so,” he starts, almost breathless, “You’re everything.” He laughs at his own inarticulate thoughts before hooking his thumbs into the elastic of your underwear.

He pulls them off and moves back up to press a deep kiss to your mouth, “I want to make you come three times, love.”

“What?” You’re dazed.

His right hand moves down to trace your ass and hook under your knee so he can spread you open.

“First, I’m going to fuck you open on my fingers,” he breathes, “then when you’re nice and wet and open for me, I want you to sit on my face, alright?”

With all his talk distracting you, you’re suddenly startled when you feel his thumb on your lower lips, starting to spread you apart.

“Then when you’ve come all over my face, I’m going to fuck my come into you, just how you like it. Right, baby?”

He slips in two fingers into you with no warning and you keen, high and wanton and uncontrollable.

Soonyoung is rough and quick when he fingers you and no matter how slow and sensual the lovemaking is, this will always be fast, hard, and messy.

While one hand is busy pumping two fingers into you, the other pinches your clit and quickly rubs, wanting your first orgasm to come as quickly as possible.

Your lower lip is close to bleeding as you try to keep your voice down but Soonyoung only chuckles when he sees your attempts at restraint.

“Baby we’re soundproofed in here. Make all the noise you want.”

You want to slap at his chest playfully at least, get him to feel some semblance of shame, but just as you try to make some quick remark, his fingers brush that spot inside of you and he presses down hard.

You’re unable to hold in the scream that rips through your throat as his arm flexes and he roughly thrusts his fingers in and out of you.

You clench your eyes shut as you finally let him have your first release. It’s almost explosive and you spill messily all over his fingers and arm, his other hand making a bigger mess, spraying drops of your release letting them fly further.

Breathing comes hard but he’s already pulling out of you and moving your body around until you’re on your knees.

Soonyoung lays on his back and tugs at your hands to grip at his headboard, “Fuck I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Soonyoung, what if—“

“If you want to stop, we’ll stop. Just say the word,” he says, propping himself up with his elbow.

“You have to do the same,” you say shakily, still trying to get your bearings after the mind blowing first orgasm.

“Unlikely, but you know I’ll tell you everything, love.”

And just like that he lays back again, looking more eager than you could have ever imagined. You kneel over his chest and slowly inch upwards before lowering yourself over his mouth.

Soonyoung’s always loved eating you out. He loves when sex is wet and messy and loud. He loves the taste of you and making so much noise while he’s pressed up against your pussy it almost seems like he’s the one getting release.

Every flex and curl of his tongue has you whimpering and you can’t help the way you throw your head back as his nose nudges at your clit, still sensitive from your first orgasm.

He coaxes this second one slower but it hits you just as strongly as he continues to mouth at your core even when you’re crying and shaking from the sensitivity. You almost topple off the bed as you climb off Soonyoung to lay back next to him on the bed.

You turn your head to Soonyoung and the entirety of his lower face is wet with your release and your face burns. But Soonyoung is aglow with arousal and just so much love.

He coaxes your mouth to meet his own and it is a reprieve from how quickly he moved for you to reach your high twice in such a short period of time.

You can taste yourself on his mouth but it makes you groan as his tongue pushes its way to mingle with your own.

Despite the desperation at which you both moved, this is slow and quiet. Just you lips moving against each other and the sheets rustling fills the space.

Soonyoung pushes himself off the bed cautiously, desperate to keep his lips on you as he positions himself between your thighs.

Just like that a switch flips and the urgency to have him starts once more. He pressed his cock against your entrance and let the underside slide against your wet cunt. It offers you little relief, the friction hardly enough to get you there.

He pulls away and brings one hand to your face as the other holds him over your body.

Soonyoung’s hooded lids and glazed eyes are a sight to behold. His hair is damp and the shorter strands that frame his face are plastered onto his forehead. There’s a bead of sweat that’s clinging to the cut of his jaw and you ache to press your mouth to it. 

His thumb traces the curve of your cheek, the plumpness of your lower lip, and slowly he’s pressing the finger between your teeth. You press your tongue against the pad of his thumb and wrap your lips around the finger, and suck.

God, I love this man. I will always only love this man.

“I love you,” he gasps as he finally presses in and sinks into you.

Any other day and it would be embarrassing how close you both are to the edge, but you both know that his evening was far from normal. Your heart is hammering in your chest so hard you feel like it’ll rip itself out of its confines. Everything feels too good and too much and you want it. You want this every single day if you could.

Soonyoung sits up and uses both hands to grip onto your hips and to brace himself. What he does next makes your head spin.

“I’m so close, baby. You gotta say it.” He stands on his knees, changing the angle slightly. Then he lifts your hips just right and the noise you let out as his cock sinks into you perfectly is completely pitiful.

“Say it.”

“Soonyoung!” you cry out. It’s a sob, really. Depraved, almost, in the desperation and the raw fucking feeling thats burning through your nerves.

“Just say it baby, you know the words. Say it and I’ll make good on the very last fucking promise I made tonight,” he says, the edge in his voice making itself known. He wanted to make this evening soft, slow, and for every movement to have meaning. But he has always been hungry.

Hungry for the stage, bigger venues, brighter lights, more challenging steps, and of course for you.

He breathes in through his nose sharply and tries to exhale slowly and paced, “Just say it baby, I know you can.”

“You’re mine.”

“That’s it. I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”

The years of precise practice and this industry expertise has made the man you love into the most exquisite lover.

He thrusts quick and deep and the undulations of his hips have you seeing stars and tearing up once more. He’s everywhere, in your eyes, head, lungs, heart and you’ll be damned if you ever let him go.

The insecurities and the problems and the people will always be there, they will always cause uncertainties but this is one thing you will always be sure of. You will always be sure of him.

Soonyoung comes with a cry of your name and the most beautiful gasp against your mouth as he pumps you full of his cum, pushing you over the edge and he swallows the cry you let out.

He pulls away to press breathless kisses against your face and any other part of you he can get his lips on mumbling, “I’m yours, I’m yours. I’ll always only be yours.”

It starts slowly, warm, and comfortable. The rustling of the sheets and the hot wet press of his mouth slowly coaxing you into that soft space of barely awake, but able to slip back to sleep if you stayed quiet enough.

“I gotta go, baby,” is Soonyoung’s whisper, cheek resting atop your head. 

You hum in response, not fully coherent to put together words after he’d pulled endless strings of moans and cries from your lips the night prior.

He presses a kiss to your hair, “Didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. I’ll see you tonight, gorgeous.”

You feel the way the bed dips and the blankets move as he goes to stand. He slips on his shoes and, unable to leave so easily, moves back towards the bed and kneels by where your head rests on a pillow.

“I love you, think about what I said last night, okay?”

You tried to keep yourself collected, keep the frantic energy sizzling in your veins at bay. Soonyoung had put on the show of his life, something that happens just a few times in a performer’s life, you’re sure. Pride had swelled so grandly in your heart. You had been so lovestruck watching him that it felt like he could see you whenever he had turned his head in your general direction.

Backstage is still abuzz from the end of the show. You’re sure people are still running around making sure the egress goes smoothly, that all the fans are able to exit the stadium safely. But everything comes second the moment you hear his voice.

“Has she been escorted from her se—“

You can’t help it. You’re so happy, so excited, and so in love with him. You’re running toward him. He’s changed out of his encore outfit and into a sweater—oversized the way he likes them— and sweatpants. He could slip into bed any second now it looks like.

“Soonyoung!” You call out, stealing his attention.

He turns to you and the most breathtaking smile spreads on his face and you throw yourself into his arms. He catches you and you wrap your legs around his slender waist.

“It was amazing, you’re so amazing. Congratulations, oh my god!” You’re blabbing, you can feel your mouth going a million miles an hour but you can’t stop.

You pull him into a crushing hug as he gently puts your feet back on the ground, keeping your arms around his neck.

“And that new song, Jesus you weren’t kidding, it’s so good and the choreo! The way you moved! You changed the choreo last minu—“ In a split second, his lips are on yours and you can’t help but smile against him.

You break away, breathless when you remember, “Soonyoung, everyone can see.”

He gives you a silly quizzical look, “Only thinking about that now and not when you jumped into my arms?”

You’re speechless. He’s right.

“I’d be happy if everyone knew,” Soonyoung says simply and pulls you in again for another kiss.

When you pull away, you suck in a large breath and say, “Okay.”

There’s a small smile that he can’t hide as he asks, “Okay…? To what, exactly?”

You blush and bury your head in his chest. You want to while, he’s so annoying.

“To everything. To everything you said last night,” you mumble into his chest, trying to muster enough confidence to keep going.

“Okay, I’ll move in with you. Okay, I’ll tell all my friends about you. Okay, let’s make us public.”

-`✮´- if you've come this far, thank you. if you’d like to drop a like or reblog this, it would mean the world to this new author!

[perdidosbucky-yyo]

𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛

Pairing: Exotic Dancer!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader (no mention of gender or ethnicity)

Summary: Hi, you've reached [your name]. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep!

w/c: 3.7k

warnings: cheating (on reader), lots of cursing, smoking, heavy drinking, weed smoking, body image issues (I'm sorry), this is a smutty fic (but there’s no smut), dry humping. Please let me know if I missed anything <3

a/n: This is the first fic I've posted in years lmao, I'm a bit rusty, but omfg I enjoyed writing this so much, it's very self-indulgent hehe I hope you love it just as much as I do.

this is not beta'd, any and all mistakes are my own.

Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply encouraged🥺

7:51 PM

“Baby please, You know I’m an idiot…she means nothing” Jake whined through the phone. 

As of 5 hours ago, he became your ex but kept on calling you, each call pleading for your forgiveness and saying the same stupid excuse “I felt you pulling away, what was I supp-”

Before you could interrupt him yourself, your best friend and roommate took your phone “Listen closely you little shit, if you don’t stop calling I’ll personally chop off your balls, fry’em up and feed them to your mother in a fucking salad… it’s Wanda by the way” she huffs as she hands you back the phone, “Colorful” you grimace.

Shoving you inside the car, with you and Wanda on the back, Bruce behind the wheel and Tony as co-pilot, “Why do you even answer his calls?” Tony asks while Wanda lights up a Marlboro, and gives you a drag “Because I want to tell him to go fuck himself… I- I just can’t seem to find the right words”, “That seems right” Wanda quips and you roll your eyes, “Don’t worry you’ll find the words when the time’s right” Bruce adds, “Dr. Banner is right, tonight is all about getting shit-faced” Tony adds.

You all clap and turn up the volume to the perfect song “I don’t wanna hear, I don’t wanna know” Wanda sings, the wind on her face, while Bruce shouts “WE LOVE YOU MADONNA”. 

They were right, fuck Jack, tonight you wanted to let go, you weren’t one for parties or clubbing but you couldn’t stay at home feeling sorry for yourself, partying with your friends seemed like the perfect distraction “LET’S FUCKING GO” you shouted at the top of your lungs.

9:05 PM

“The Hush-Hush Hideaway?” you laughed as you finished your first beer after two cherry vodka shots, sounds like a place where 50 year olds would come to have an affair, “Alright, alright before you keep on talking trash, there is more eye to meet” Tony argues, to that Wanda snorts “are you seriously drunk right now? after three piña coladas?”, Bruce laughs “they’re stronger than they look” Tony defends himself as he stands up, signaling you all to head to the dance floor.

You honestly loved the place, the lighting was incredible, the atmosphere was hot pink with hints of dark red and deep purple, the ceiling was decorated with hundreds of disco balls shining down on you, the bar had tables so crystalline and so red, it looked like solidified blood,  each one surrounded by the comfiest leather couches. There was also the dance floor which you were dancing on now, it had the perfect stage for dancers or any kind of show, the whole place had the perfect mix of chic and urban.

10:39 PM

“This round’s on me” Tony shouts over the loud music as he hands you what would probably be your 5th drink, stumbling around as you danced to a song that suddenly became your favorite, as you downed the liquid gold you took Tony’s hand and started giving him a lap dance of some sorts which made everyone laugh along with you. 

And then everything went pitch black, for 5 seconds the music was over, lights were out, for a moment you thought you passed out but then a huge white light shone straight into the middle of the stage, “Girls Gays and Theys!” a deep voice over the microphone started, “is this a gay bar?” Bruce genuinely chimed in, making you giggle.

“Tonight we encourage you to let that wild side of yours out! Please give a warm welcome to The White Wolf” the voice cheered with excitement and the crowd roared and cheered back, “he must be really good looking” you sassed, and in that moment, red ropes descended.

Not a second later a man dressed in a kevlar suit swirled down as if swimming in the red fabric, wrapping himself in a cocoon in the air so the next second he rolled down to the stage, the top of his leathery suit gone, leaving his gorgeous toned abdomen exposed making the crowd go wild. The lights enhanced his beautiful body. “D-does he have glitter on?!” Tony shouted in awe, everyone absolutely going crazy over this tall, brown-haired, thick oh so fucking thick specimen.

On the other hand, you were finding breathing a difficult task, especially because his eyes were trained on yours, maybe it was the several drinks in your system or the empowering song that heightened everything, but his stare was intense, the ice blue of his eyes chilled your spine and for a moment you thought he was going to stop the show, come down and rip your clothes off… yeah you definitely felt tipsy now.

This man knew the power he held, not only was he drop-dead gorgeous, he had autonomy of every nerve and every muscle on his body, your heart and pussy were practically pulsing as you watched him dance. The magic was broken when you felt your phone ring in your pocket, taking it out, you saw it was Jake calling AGAIN, you knew your friends would tell you not to pick up, but part of you wanted to hear him out and scream at him, you didn’t know which one you were going to do.

Leaving the dance floor and heading to the bathrooms where you hoped it’d be quieter, you swipe to the green bubble “Please please forgive me” is the first thing the man says, making you sigh in frustration “S-top stop saying you’re sorry” but it’s like talking to a wall, you’re not even sure he heard you because he just keeps on whining. 

??:??

You don’t know how much time you spent listening to him in the bathroom but eventually, you give up and hang up on him, splashing some fresh water in your neck you exit the room and bump into a rock-hard wall, but then unexpectedly the wall starts talking and you think maybe it’s not a wall.

“it was rude to bail” a grave voice rumbles in your ear through all of the noise, looking up you see it’s the white wolf, making you almost choke on air, but you were quick enough to react and raise an eyebrow in response “sorry?”.

Without even noticing, the man had cornered you into a wall “Don’t apologize, you can make it up to me” he said with a wild smile, “oh he’s good” you thought, then he looked at you as if he read your mind, “you look like someone in desperate need to have some fun… let me give you a hand” he whispered, his confidence made you forget he was a stranger, and oddly enough it felt like you knew him perfectly, the thought of spending your night with him made you shudder.

Taking out what looked like a big fat blunt from one of his pockets, he dragged the little bundle of joy from your exposed thighs, up your arms, slowly passing through your neck, and finally grazing your soft lips, his eyes never once leaving yours, he leaned in and the smell of cedarwood with a touch of french vanilla made your eyes roll.

Man, you’re really not keeping your cool, but he’s too beautiful for you to care, you might as well pucker your lips, but then he backs away, taking your hand and leading you to the backdoor between the kitchens. The sound of music and people dancing start to disappear until it’s muffled, “are we allowed in here?” you laugh as he lights up the joint and takes a big gulp, your heart pounds with excitement, this is exactly what you needed.

Your inner demons whispered that he really wasn’t interested in you, he looked like he was sculptured by frigging Michelangelo, he’d never want to be with someone as big as you, plus you felt sweaty from dancing most of the night, but honestly, it was more about the nerves you felt around him, but just as easy as the negative thoughts came, he batted them away with a single kiss to your cheek, near enough to the corner of your lips “lost you there for a sec” he teased.

As he handed you the joint, you took it with hesitance, “I usually don’t take marihuana from strangers, you got a name or does everyone call you the white wolf?” you teased, carefully eyeing him, realizing that he was still shirtless unconsciously making you bite your lip.

A lazy smile spread on his face “Waddaya mean you don’t know me? Pfft I’m your latest conquest”, it threw you off but he looked so sincere it made the butterflies in your stomach dance, “I’m Bucky” he laughed, he was so at ease with that pretty smile you couldn’t do anything but swoon.

Taking a drag of the blunt you breathe out the smoke through your nose as you offer him your name in return,  not wasting a second he repeats it, slowly, maybe he was high but it seemed as though he enjoyed the sound of your name on his tongue, he savored it, your legs pressed against each other and you had to take another drag so not to seem desperate as you were for him.

He might be a stranger but deep down you felt unbelievable attraction, in less than 10 minutes of knowing him he made you feel powerful, and free, like maybe in a past life or somethin’ he was your soulmate… Pfft, you wanted to crack up at your own thoughts, somehow Bucky knew and started laughing, slowly leaning into you and crashing his lips with yours, it was sloppy but fuck you’d never been kissed like that, it was passionate, you felt wanted, right then and there you were ready and willing to let him swoop you off your feet.

12:59 AM 

Bucky was showing you his best moves, his calloused hands gripped and groped your body as you both swayed your hips against each other perfectly in sync.

He was so smooth, the fogginess of the joint rumbled through your body, each touch, every one of his strokes felt like a wave, you were floating in a sea of music and his scent, nothing was wrong with the world, nothing could harm you because he was right behind you, worshipping you, telling you how he loved the feel of every roll and every curve, you couldn’t help but smile and he couldn’t help but kiss that beautiful smile.

Not long after your friends found you and you introduced them to the dancer who blew their minds, some of his friends joined you, and not long after you were the life of the party, shots and blunts came pouring, and just like you wanted you became one with bucky, you didn’t know where you began or where he ended, pain and misery were a strange and unknown concept tonight.

1:55 AM

Wanda had to drag you away from Bucky to chat with you a bit, she couldn’t hide that grin even if she tried “Dude I don’t even recognize you right now” you laugh with her knowing very well what she means, squeezing her wrist you stop the urge to squeal, “I don’t know how this happened but fuck he’s just so pretty I wanna cry” you both giggle, understanding the Rachel Green reference. 

Turning to see Bucky you caught him already watching you, it looked like he was chatting with his friends but he wouldn’t look away from you, you realized he was waiting for you, and honestly you were eager to return to his embrace and intoxicating scent “Fuck Jack, you have men waiting in line” Wanda practically shouts as she pushes you back to the dance floor.

2:12 AM

After a while your social battery was low and you needed a break, so now you leaned against the wall in the back alley of the bar, a cigarette lit, resting on your fingertips as you recalled the events that brought you here tonight.

You didn’t blame Wanda for reminding you of Jake and what he did, after all, she was just hyping you, but now your mind was plagued, you memorized with detail how you found them, as some sort of self-punishment, why? you didn’t know, after years of therapy, you were still trying to unlearn self-deprecating thoughts that your family and society shoved in your face.

Jake cheating on you with a leggy blonde who was quite literally a Victoria's Secret model was a kick to your stomach, it made you realize that maybe every bad thought you had about yourself was true, and that was terrifying… 

Realizing that the cigarette burned itself out, you stepped on it, but before you could come back inside Bucky opened the door and grinned “There you are, was worried I spooked ya”, to that you chuckled, somehow the laws of social battery didn’t apply to the handsome trapeze dancer “Never”.

Stepping outside and standing next to you, he takes your hand and starts playing with your fingers “What’s got my sweet doll so down?”, you expected the pet name to make you cringe but instead swooned. Lighting another cigarette you take a drag and blow it on his face, and he just bites the smoke, making you giggle, after a beat of silence you show him your heart.

“About… 11 hours ago, my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, cheated on me” you sigh, trying with all your might not to shed a single fucking tear, Jake didn’t deserve them, “Gimme his address” he deadpans, a look so deadly in his eyes, that spark was almost snuffed, but just as quickly his attitude changed, “I’ll kill 'im with my bare hands, I’LL FUCKING KILL ’IM” he shouts with foux determination, making wild animal noises that are making you laugh so hard you can’t breathe “you’re not funny” you say out of breath.

His thumb cleans away a single runaway tear, his touch is so gentle at first you’re not even sure he’s holding you, he’s so close you feel his breath on your cheek and his nose caressing your skin oh so lightly, “you’re dreaming”, you think incredulously. 

In a second his touch becomes rough as he grips your face with both his hands, holding you still so you can’t look anywhere but his eyes, “he’s a fucking moron” he spits out, almost insulted, “and I don’t mean a jerk or plain stupid, I mean he’s missing some fucking brain cells to let go of someone so insanely beautiful as you”.

Your heart’s pounding in your ears, you’re about to explain but he cuts you off “And I don’t even need to know him, to be sure of what I’m telling you right now” he scoffs,  “Hell, I don’t even have to know you to be sure, in the very short time I’ve known you, you’ve been everything” bucky almost can’t believe he’s saying this to you, suddenly the tension is palpable and neither of you can breathe… 

“You’re driving me insane” is the last thing he says before pushing you against the wall, with a grunt he grips your waist and your lips crash with his, in a fight for dominance your tongues swirl, it’s as if Jake or any other man never existed, washed away by the ocean that is Bucky. 

You loved how vocal he was being, he moaned into the kiss as you practically humped him, he bit your swollen lips as a warning to slow down but it only turned you on more. You could feel your hardened nipples rub against his chest, and it drove both of you nuts, with all his strength he pulled away, leaving you dizzy and pulling him for more, he’s never wanted anyone the way he wants you but he would never have sex with someone so drunk, even if that person begged as nicely as you were right now.

He laughs as you start leaving hot open kisses throughout his neck and jaw purring like a cat, “Bucky please” you mewled, asking him for more, his hand flew to grasp your hair in a tight grip, nibbling on your skin as he reached your ear “We aren’t doing anything except kissing the fuck out of each other doll” he whispered.

You made for a grab to his groin but he was able to take your hand and hold it above your head “I want you nice and sober when I get you to cream on my cock”, he groans as you make a final attempt to lure him in, but you know he’s right, so you huff in defeat, a pout on display to make your feelings known, “baby doll what’s wrong? you look flushed” he teases as you gasp in faux offense.

3:45 AM

The bar kicked everyone out but you still had some party left in you and apparently, so did Bucky because he’s already got you piggyback riding him to his car, you said goodbye to your friends assuring them you trusted Bucky, his place was less than 10 minutes away and you’d send them your location. 

Once you got to the car Bucky stopped in his tracks, “we’re drunk and high as hell” he stated, and like a bucket of iced water you realized he was right “Accurate statement” you snort, carefully dropping you on the ground he swiftly turned to face you “so we should… perhaps, maybe take a cab” he goofs around as he steals small kisses form you “or we can walk? your place’s near right?” you reply, everyone was already gone to ask for a ride but he liked the idea of having some alone time with you, so,  he picked you up and placed you on his back “To the Batcave!” he runs as you hold onto him as tight as you could.

4:05 AM

You peacefully walked on the side of the street as cars passed by, one thing that you loved about walking at night was the lack of noise, the night wasn’t completely quiet, you could still hear the cars in the distance, people coming in and out of bars or whatever, the breeze was the perfect temperature and the city lights of New York were shone beautifully.

Hand in hand you walked with your latest conquest as he so eloquently put it, conversation flowing, “I got cheated on once, it fucking sucks” You both laughed at the obvious statement “I thought we were going steady and she got bored” he shrugged, “it was a while ago, but it definitely messed with my head” he whispered as he squeezed your hand, it brought him comfort and you as well. 

“You know what’s fucking hilarious though? I was planning on breaking up with him…ok don’t judge me” you laughed, “but I just stayed with him because it was easier to stay in a mediocre relationship than actually fight for my happiness…plus he had a hot tub” you felt stupid for saying it, but he didn’t judge you, his face remained the same, attentive.

Bucky took your hand and kissed each one of your knuckles “I got a really nice bathtub” he murmured into your skin with a smirk, your heart fluttered to what he implied so you jumped and kissed his cheek, holding onto his arm for dear life, content with how the day turned out.

4:38 AM

After smoking yet another joint together you were now straddling your dancer’s lap on his bathtub “It really is a nice bathtub” You grinned between kisses and he laughed, his hands roaming your soft skin under your clothes, you were heaven on earth he kept thinking, he was about to kiss you again but was interrupted by your phone ringing, which made both of you sigh in frustration.

You knew who it was, Jake had been calling over and over for the last 20 minutes and Bucky had enough of the bastard, “Answer him” he ordered, to which you raised an eyebrow “I- can’t I- seriously?” you say almost shocked “You know what you wanna say to him, so say it” he encouraged with a soft smile.

Without thinking twice you pick up, “Finally! what took you so long to pick up?” Jake barks, you have the phone on speaker so Bucky could listen, and he already hated how the jerk talked to you, making him grip your waist with possessiveness.

“What do you want?” you ask almost uninterested, “Baby please forgive me” he cries as if you could ever believe anything he said to you, “I’m so so fucking sorry, what else do you want me to say?!”, to that you let out an unamused laugh “just stop fucking saying you’re sorry, time to put on your big boy pants and take responsibility” you snark, which oddly, turns on bucky beyond belief.

Like a magnet, his lips start leaving love bites on your neck, making you gulp, “Babe let’s be honest, in a month you’ll be begging me to get back together, we both know you need someone to take care of you, you can’t be alone, you need me” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and then you really were done with his bullshit.

“Listen closely you fucktard, stop saying you’re sorry, stop begging me to forgive you, you were a waste of my time and the only reason I didn’t break up with you sooner was because it was convenient for me to stay with your sorry ass” you bark.

You could keep going but now Bucky was humming against your pulse, finding it incredibly hot how you stood up for yourself, he peppered you with hot open kisses that made your mind even fuzzier than the weed, “And I can take care of myself ass” you hiss in delight, it was meant to be an insult but Bucky was making you feel so good…

“Fucking drop that call”, bucky growled into your neck loud enough to be heard over the phone, then sunk his teeth into your soft skin, making you moan, unintentionally into the phone, before dropping it and gripping Bucky’s hair for support as you rubbed against the bulge on his pants “Fuck I can’t wait to make you mine” he moaned, dreaming of all the possibilities, of everything he wanted to do with and to you.

Despite the chills you felt down your spine, despite feeling exactly the same way, you laugh, “Honey… do you think it’s gonna be that easy?” you coo, drunk in power, you devour his perfect pink lips.

[decadentfantasy]

Could you do headcanons for the MK1 Earthrealmers and Syzoth with a reader who is a professional dancer?

𝑴𝑲 1 𝑴𝑬𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑨 𝑭𝑬𝑴! 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑭𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳 𝑫𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬𝑹 𝑺/𝑶

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔: Syzoth, Johnny Cage, Kenshi Takahashi, Raiden, Kung Lao

𝑻𝑾: brief mention of blood and self-image issues

𝑨/𝑵: omg my first request! thank you so much <3 i didn't know what kind of professional dancer you wanted, so i went with ballet. i hope it's okay!

❥︎ 𝑺𝒀𝒁𝑶𝑻𝑯

❥︎ Syzoth has seen his fair share of performers, after all he did work in a wandering company for a while and Outworld's culture greatly revolves around dancing, which is considered a sacred art.

❥︎ He shouldn't be impressed, but you? Oh Lord, you take his breath away. You move so gracefully yet easily, as though floating, your every gesture has his mesmerized gaze glued to you in awe. He has never seen anything quite so beautiful.

❥︎ Since your body is your instrument, Syzoth makes sure you take good care of it: he's there to bandage your feet, wiping away the blood staining the inside of your pointee shoes, kissing your legs reverently as he massages your sore muscles with a warm damp cloth.

❥︎ If you were to ever want to perform in Outworld, you are right to believe Syzoth would use his position as emissary to his advantage. He'll talk to Mileena, and in no time you'll find yourself performing for the Empress and her court, Syzoth's adoring gaze never leaving you.

❥︎ 𝑱𝑶𝑯𝑵𝑵𝒀 𝑪𝑨𝑮𝑬

❥︎ Much similarly to Syzoth, Johnny is accustomed to dancer. He basically lives in Hollywood, he himself studied under many choreographers during his career, not to mention he's also a very good dancer.

❥︎ Jesus... You put him to shame. Your movements are always so flawless, so perfectly timed. He has a hard time understanding your level of expertise, he cannot even fathom how many years it took you.

❥︎ You bet Johnny will want to turn your life into a movie. He wants to celebrate you and your art, his girlfriend is such a marvelous dancer he thinks everyone should see her! Just be warned, it could turn out to be 4 hours long because he puts too much detail in it.

❥︎ If you feel too embarrassed or shy about him making a movie about you, Johnny will back off but that doesn't mean to whole world won't know how good you are. The sole fact that Johnny attends to your every performance makes you gain so much popularity already, not to mention the sheer amount of posts about you on all his socials. You'll basically become just as famous as him!

❥︎ 𝑲𝑬𝑵𝑺𝑯𝑰 𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑨𝑯𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑰

❥︎ The most of Kenshi's life has been spent in the cruel, gruesome environment that is the Yakuza. As such, he never had many chances to enjoy beautiful things such as dance. Things so soft, so gentle, clashed immensely with his environment, so he didn't dwell on them.

❥︎ And that was his mentality when he met you. You appeared soft and delicate on stage, enchanting everyone with your grace. You almost reminded him of a butterfly, so beautiful yet short-lived in such a cruel world.

❥︎ But then you'd get off and backstage, and that's when he'd see the truth: the sweat on your face, your laboured breathing, your reddened cheeks. And when you take off your shoes the blood staining your pantyhose, the swelling in your feet... He was wrong to think you were delicate. You're anything but: you're powerful, determined and fiercely passionate, and he won't make the mistake of judging you again.

❥︎ Even after he loses his sight Kenshi tries to attend your every performance, sitting in the first row so that you know he's there. He may not see you dance anymore but the way you move is burned in his mind. How could he ever forget something so beautiful?

❥︎ 𝑹𝑨𝑰𝑫𝑬𝑵

❥︎ Raiden is actually the most aquatinted of everyone with ballet dancing: his sister used to take lessons before switching to martial arts and he was the designated pick up. Of course she wasn't anywhere close to your level, being a child and all, but he picked up a thing or two from her rambling about her classes.

❥︎ Knowing the importance of a healthy physique in your discipline Raiden makes sure to cook light yet nutritious meals for you to eat in between classes: shrimp-stuffed green peppers, rainbow stir fry and jiaozi are his go to choices. He also makes sure you always have a full water bottle with you.

❥︎ What he admires the most is your flexibility. Raiden has become fairly flexible himself since he started practicing tantric yoga in the Shaolin temple, but he is nowhere near your level. The way you manage to look so graceful as your limbs twist and bend like a swan's neck is beyond impressive for him.

❥︎ He brings flowers to your every performance, to the point your dressing room starts to look like a flower shop. He mainly gets them from a merchant in Fengjian, so expect the whole town to know about you within two weeks. Soon enough, half of it is attending: why wouldn't they support their precious Raiden's girlfriend?

❥︎ 𝑲𝑼𝑵𝑮 𝑳𝑨𝑶

❥︎ Similarly to Raiden, he also learned a couple things about ballet through his friend's sister. Kung Lao has never been particularly interested in it, mainly because his experience was that of a little girl's hobby. When he meets you that opinion quickly changes: the choreographies you can perform blow his mind completely. However, there are some things he can't stand.

❥︎ First off, your instructor. He despised them for the gruelling training they put you through, the way they force your body to bend unnaturally like they want to break every bone in your body. He starts attending your every class only to glare at them, making sure they start treating you more gently.

❥︎ Second off, the constant insecurity over your body. Kung Lao thinks you're beautiful and he can't bear the fact that you don't think the same. To remedy this, he'll do everything in his power to make you feel the prettiest possible: he'll style your hair, run you a hot bath, massage every part of your best that hurts. He won't let you put yourself down, not a chance in hell. He loves you for a reason, and he'll prove it to you.

❥︎ Kung Lao not only attends your performances, he also attends rehearsals. He may never admit it out loud but he enjoys seeing the hard work you put in it: it demonstrates that talent is not only something you're born with, it's something that needs to be cultivated and nourished. He brings you treats and water as well, and it will take some coaxing but he'll eventually cave if you ask him to join you in your stretching exercises.

[plethoraworldatlas]

Anthony Po's video is worse than you thought

This video actually looks at and breaks down Anthony Po's infamous video in deep detail and wow is it worse than JUST recording sexual activities without consent.

Starts with revealing that Anthony made a fake "furry identity" where his idea of what a furry is was a raging classist, sexist, ableist fatophobe who was very much a "annoying autistic" caricature from 2000s "humor".

He also decided it was a funny joke to make said fake furry influencer a registered sex offender and zoophile ("joking" about how he wasn't allowed near schools and making a whole TikTok where the "joke" was him stalking a man because he wanted to assault his dog)

Probably Used AI generated images for the "art" he had of his fake character

Bought an incredibly affordable for what it was pre-made fursuit and just spent the whole video talking trash on it and the maker and artist of it

Talked zero about any art or artists he "used". In fact, he didn't speak about the art side of furry Fandom AT ALL

The whole video is filled with 2000s Homophobia and not once does he mention the amount of LGBT+ furries or even says the word gay at all, despite the fact the entire goal of the video is violating the privacy of LGBT people and recording their sex acts for sensationalism.

He mentions once how a large part of the Fandom is neurodivergent, but in a way that sounds like "haha, the reason they're all cringe weirdos is because they're mental". Also dips into Homophobia and infantilizing neurodivergent LGBT people

He pretends to join a famous furry news site to get a con press pass, ghosts the news team after one email, uses their badge to get people to let him interview them, takes credit for a feelgood article he didn't write, generally disrespects the new site he took advantage of for their reputation

Speaking of, he interviewed people (again posing as a trusted journalist) but cut out nearly all the interviews about the Fandom because people weren't giving him what he wanted (he wanted to play a scare cord when someone said something sexual but no one did because obviously) so he skips by all of it except the parts he makes fun of for being neurodivergent people

He tries out for the dance competition, solely because he needs a B plot for his video and he thinks it will get him invited to "sex parties", doesn't practice at all, is shocked he doesn't make it, then crashes the competition anyway to utter silence of the crowd and doesn't even watch other dancers and just leaves the con after

Another thing is him constantly conflating "room parties" the sexual thing he treats like a big secret and is looking to film, and any kind of furry event or party whatsoever. So he treats all furry events like they're sex events in editing. Trying to make it seem like there's no divide between sfw and NSFW events

He flat out LIES about Con dealers den policy to make it seem like Kids are gonna see porn because THINK OF THE CHILDREN (LITERALLY AN UNIRONICALLY). Literally lies and says "8 year Olds can just go to the dealers den and buy porn" when in reality you need ID and a badge (which also requires ID) to get into, the dealer who's product they show off having obvious +18 markers on everything

Homophobia looking at obviously gay porn magazines

Passes out tacky "invite me to sex party" business cards, at the end of the video announces he's selling them (at ridiculous prices). Said sales of leftover cards would more than surpass the amount of money he donated to the Trevor project as an "apology". He also made the video a charity video to deflect blame, even though it has generated zero donations other than what he donated and not addressing the actual issues with the video

Asks to be part of Gay group chats planning the parties he is after and is Homophobic and surprised they are gay and talk about sex. Mock people's bodies and nudes and is disgusted by gay sexuality as a joke.

Jokes about how he's gonna be molested/forced by "older predators" when he actually goes to the parties for consensual sex. "Gays are predators/groomers and rapists" Homophobia abound

recording a room party without consent, using the footage to have an animated verison created for his video

Recording a room party with consent for personal private viewing, BUT NOT CONSENT TO BE USED IN A PUBLIC YOUTUBE VIDEO. This is the video he shows in the original video

Pretending to wrap the video up with a feel good message, despite literally everything he did being shit

[greengirllover]

i used to be a competitive dancer for years and the rumors are true, those girls are mean, have homoerotic friendships and issues with their body image, we just wore uglier costumes than the ones they give the girls in movies

[emwheezie]

Who are you choosing if my characters were in a dating sim?

Lennon:

Gremlin mode

Daddy issues

Bad hair

Musical/Creative genius. Perfect pitch

Ambitious

Doesn't shower

Ate a lasagna once

Doesn't know how to use his words

Fights drywall

Movie watcher

Chicken addiction

Street smart

Closeted Weezer fan

Dunkin Donuts

Shoes on the bed

Green Day

Might be silly

Goes up the stairs on all fours

Stressed/depressed/poorly dressed

PBC singer and lead guitar

----------------------------------------------

Tony:

Purple

Crazy driver

:3

Mall pretzels

Catholic school survivor

Emotionally smart/book smart

Stressed/depressed/dressed to impress

Afraid of getting old/ugly

Wants to fight the MBTA

Might be delusional

throws up from anxiety

Redbull and Taco Bell

Loves dogs

Green Day

Poetic

Saw Moses (biblical) in the woods while high with Theo

Bisexual

Lactose intolerant

Finds meaning in everything

Always in a relationship

PBC bassist and "manager"

----------------------------------------------

Enzo:

Evil

Might have killed a man

Man Bun

Posts on DeviantART

Loves dragons

whispers and shakes

Future tattoo artist

Movie connoisseur

Might be a furry...?

LOVES the Saw movie franchise

Protective and loyal

Street smart

Stays up all night in the dark

In an online relationship

Does what he wants

Doesn't waste time

Sparkling water enjoyer

Tea drinker

Never listened to a music in his life

Guitarist in a band (PBC)

----------------------------------------------

Theo:

From New Hampshire

Asexual

Golden retriever personality 

Grew up with 8 siblings

Joined the military after High School

Eats Oatmeal?

Doesn't wear a seatbelt

Outdoorsy/hiking adventures

Works at a club/bar with his wife, Gia

Is a cinnamon roll

Emotionally smart

Saw Moses (biblical) in the woods while high with Tony

Calls music his "funky jams"

Forgets his shoes

Mtn Dew

Forgetful

Kidney Stones

His appendix exploded once

PBC drummer

---------------------------------------------

Park:

Loves alcohol

Hates the government

Hates the IRS

Has never paid taxes

No sense of personal space/very touchy

LOUD

Climbs things

Grilled cheese enthusiast  

Dunkin Donuts manager

Aliens are 4 realz

loves video games

Wicked smart

Goes to MIT for like space engineering or something idk

Makes monkey noises

"I have to be both the sexiest and most mentally challenged person in the room at all times"

Obsessed with skin walkers

Conspiracy theories

----------------------------------------------

Oli:

Photography/cinematography 

Graphic design

Urban Explorer

Abandoned things

Summer time vibes

Lives in sleeveless shirts

Black coffee drinker

health freak/gym rat

Smokes cigarettes (hey we all have our vices)

Secretly gay

Chronic complainer

Works at zumies

Does graffiti 

Runs from his problems

Travels for work

Drives a modded Subaru

----------------------------------------------

Alyssa:

Preforms unethical experiments in the sims 3

Loves cows

So many many plushies there's no room for her in the bed

weezer fan

Talks a lot

Lots of keychains/charms

Maximalism!

Assertive

Good listener

Workaholic 

HAS to be the BEST at anything she does

----------------------------------------------

Rosie

Grew up with strict parents

Working too many hours at Dunkin Donuts

Former ballet/dancer

Likes to bake and really good at it!

Compulsive liar

"I have a twin sister who goes to another school"

Gets jealous easily

Body image problems/eating disorders :(

Emotionally Immature 

Spider eyelashes

A nose ring is "rebelling from my parents"

Currently in college

Afraid of change

Emotional support eldest daughter

Loves to sing

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Meet the Characters

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist

With the first chapter of the Dancing with the Stars fic, Closed Position, finally posting next week, I thought it might be fun to get to know Dieter and Kat a little bit more. I mostly did this for myself to try and get the Destiny & Deliverance version of Dieter out of my head. I also wanted to figure out Katarina a little more…because again, I still have Talia on the brain. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So, given that, you guys get some fun details on these two that will hopefully help me switch gears and give them a little more depth.

About Dieter Bravo in Closed Position

At the beginning of this fic, Dieter is eight months post rehab. This is the first time he has successfully kept clean for any meaningful length of time, and he is determined to stick with it. His acting career hasn't been going well because no one wants to work with him. He's looking to change his image and prove that he is a different man to get his life back on track. However, that process is proving harder than he would have thought as no one is taking his recovery seriously. As a last-ditch effort to save Dieter's career, his agent books him on Dancing with the Stars.

In an effort to hold on to his sobriety, Dieter has cut pretty much everyone out of his life that he considered to be an enabler or a bad influence. He spends a lot of his time alone and fills it with hobbies - painting, reading, music, taking care of his plants and the stubborn stray cat that won't leave his beach house.

Dieter has also been making an effort to present himself as less of a slob. When he leaves the house these days, he tries to look presentable and even dresses appropriately for work meetings. He slowly starts to embrace fashion and wants to look his best. He has held onto his longer curly locks, but instead of leaving them in an unruly mess, he does try to style them so that he looks more put together. As he gains more confidence, he embraces this version of himself and doesn't think twice about the old worn clothes he used to live in... except for his green robe. He still wears it around the house.

Even though Dieter keeps busy, he's lonely. He feels misunderstood and wishes people would give him a chance to prove himself. Ultimately, his dance partner gives him that opportunity. Sure, he finds her attractive, but it goes deeper than that. She gives him true friendship and the non-sexual intimacy that he has starved himself of most of his life.

About Katarina Stamos in Closed Position

Katriana Stamos has been involved with ballroom dance since she was very young. She has spent the last 13 years on Dancing with the Stars, where she often does not make it very far into the competition. Mainly due the partners she is paired with because they are just not physically able to keep up. She has suspicions that there are other nefarious reasons for it too. Those suspicions are confirmed during her last season on the show when she is paired with Dieter Bravo.

Kat isn't old by any means, but she is past the typical age of retirement for a ballroom dancer at 39. While dancing appears to be all about the glitz and glamor, behind the scenes its full of struggle and pain. Kat's body is wearing down and aches constantly due to worsening rheumatoid arthritis in her feet, knees, and hips. She's often too tired and achy after rehearsal to do things like clean her modest size house or go out with her castmates. She's a little messy and at times struggles to keep it together. However, she isn't going to let these issues get her down during her last season, not when she has finally been paired with someone that has potential to make it to finals.

This is an amazing opportunity for Kat, financially speaking. One would assume that being a cast member on Dancing with the Stars would be a good payout. It is, for those who make it further into the competition. Since Kat hasn't been lucky enough to do that, things can get tight with finances. Especially since she is trying to save up to open her own dance studio once she does finally retire from professional dancing. If she can make it to the end this time, her funding problems will be solved.

The last notable thing about Kat...she is dating another dancer on the show named Alec. They've been together for six years. Alec is kind of a jerk for many reasons that we will see play out through the course of the story. He becomes almost unbearable to deal with when Dieter comes into the mix even though Alec is the one that has a terrible history when it comes to fidelity.

There are some other tidbits we find out about Kat early on that explains why she is so accepting of Dieter and willing to give him a chance. What she doesn't expect are the feelings that come with their budding friendship.

How are you guys feeling about these new characters and this different version of Dieter? Excited yet?

I have done a TON of research around the behind-the-scenes workings of the show. I plan to share some of that with you as we go along. It has actually helped form a lot of the plot. While I don't claim 100% accuracy on it, I do plan to try and incorporate details as accurately as I can from what information is public.

With all that said, we finally get to really meet these two next week. I can't wait to finally share them with you!

💜Mysty

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, alcohol abuse, and drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

CP Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @linzels-blog @morallyinept @survivingandenduring  @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime  @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter

[aralisj]

Pas de Deux || The Bear Ballet AU

It is highly unlikely that I'll write anything - this is just a random concept that came to me in a daydream. Enjoy some loose thoughts under the cut though.

Donna as a Dance Mom™ would be perfectly in character. She's constantly reviving her glory days as a ballerina on the corps of Chicago ballet. She resents her children for making her give up her career, potentially giving Nat body image and self esteem issues, and pushing Mikey and Carmy past their breaking point… Also her whole aura screams cunty ballet teacher cursing and smoking during class.

Mikey takes over Donna's studio after a career ruining injury (and subsequently gets addicted to painkillers).

Carmy gets a scholarship to study ballet in Europe, then returns to climb the ranks and eventually become a principal dancer in the New York ballet. The plays on his name and the ballet Carmen are fucking exhausting and end in a shouting match more than once.

New York asshole boss is an old school ballet master. I'm picturing Vincent Cassel in The Black Swan, vicious and overbearing, giving Carmy shit for his height, and being a "Sergei Polunin wannabe" with his tattoos and his smoking.

Sydney dances from a young age, inspired by her mom. She gets very badly injured and steps aside for a while. She followed Carmy's career closely and saw him dance on her trip to New York. After a miraculous recovery from her injury, she takes up dance again and joins the studio - Carmy sees her as the only one on his level. Her dream is being a prima ballerina (and dancing a pas de deux with the Carmy Berzatto wouldn't hurt either).

Tina is a self taught dancer and Mikey brings her in to teach beginners classes and ballroom dance.

Richie is just there (canon compliant lmao). He picks up some stuff over the years but not enough to teach. He eventually becomes essential to running the place, booking venues and running social media for the studio as it grows into a high level academy (think Eva Nys on TikTok)

Nat abandoned dance completely right as she could have turned professional (Donna never forgives her) but she returns as a manager for the studio once things start to get serious after Carmy's return.

Pete LOVES ballet but can't dance at all.

[monpetitangell]

♡ BEST ËD MOVIE RECS ♡

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

- Thinspiration ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4.5 Stars

Summary: A 17-year-old dancer joins a "thinspiration" website and devotes herself to the almost religious glorification of "thin", until she becomes completely possessed by the dark world of anorexia.

♡ This is one of the first 3D movies I watched and it remains a fav. it reminds me so much of engaging with edblr and the sense of community you find here.

Where to watch: Tubi

- Feed (2017) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5 stars

Summary: 18-year-old twins born into a world of privilege and high expectations. There are almost no boundaries between them and even their dreams are connected.

♡ This movie shows what the voice in your head can sound like when you suffer from an 3D, first alluring and rewarding and then damaging. (my fav movie as of right now)

Where to watch: Tubi

- When Friendship Kills ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4 stars

Summary: Two girls’ obsession with their looks goes beyond mere vanity causing them to begin pürging in secret. It sends both of them plunging headlong into danger.

♡ Something about having an 3D secret with a friend and doing it together appeals to me so this movie has been on my repeats for weeks now!

Where to watch: YouTube

- Sharing the Secret ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4.5 stars

Summary: A young girls life spirals out of control as she struggles to cope with the pressures of teenage life. Based on a true story.

♡ You can tell this is based on a true story just off of a few scenes. It’s such a visceral emotion and the discussions characters have echo what many experience with this disorder.

Where to watch: Tubi

- Kate’s Secret ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5 Stars

Summary: While seeming to have a perfect life, a housewife with mia keeps her 3D hidden from her family until it almost destroys her.

♡ I cannot even begin to explain how much I love this movie. I think it can feel super alienating being an 18+ individual and having all of this media be about teenagers but this one breaks the mold.

Where to watch: Tubi

- Dying to Dance ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4 Stars

Summary: A ballerina’s aña affects her dancing, threatens her health and causes a dangerous accident.

♡ I love any movie with aña and ballerinas. While I’ve only seen this one once, it’s one I definitely want to watch again.

Where to watch: YouTube

- Thin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5 Stars

Summary: This documentary follows four young women dealing with aña and mia at a strict treatment facility in Florida where they temporarily live. They range in age, have group therapy sessions, weigh ins and meals. They discuss the emotional and psychological issues tied to their body image issues

♡ This one is pretty well known and is again one of my absolute favorites. I love that it touches on a variety of ages, that it’s real and shows the nitty gritty of this disease.

Where to watch: Hulu

- To the Bone ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 3.5 Stars

Summary: Ellen is an unruly 20-year-old aña girl who has spent the better part of her teenage years being shepherded through various recovery programs, only to find herself several ibs lighter every time.

♡ This movie isn’t my absolute fav but I will say I watch it often because it inspires me.

Where to watch: Netflix

[ If you have any suggestions of your favorite movies/documentaries, please feel free to let me know. This list is a WIP ♡ ]

[misssn0w]

Does Your Nakshatra Predict How Popular You Will Be?

TW: This post discuses few sensitive topics associated with death, negative scandals, body image issues, etc. If you feel uncomfortable with such topics, please do not read further. I also do not support or condemn anything, as through this post I am merely reporting my observations.

For this post, I collected the Sun and Moon (excluded Lagna as most idols did not have confirmed birth time) for 49 female idols who made it into the list of "The Most Popular Kpop Female Idols (From 2009-2023)"

The link to the video from which I collected my sample is here.

Note:

This is purely for entertainment.

My aim is to not predict but to purely observe.

The video was purely about popular idols, so please note that idols can be popular both favourably and unfavourably.

As mentioned earlier, most birth times were not confirmed and therefore some signs may be quite off.

I am not an expert so my explanations will remain minimal, if any of you are more knowledgeable, please drop in your opinions as well.

First, for the the Sun Sign.

The Top 3 listed Sun Signs among the most famous female kpop idols included:

Uttara Bhadrapada (12.2%)

Dhanishta (10.2%)

Rohini (6.1%)

For Uttara Bhadrapada,

These women were mostly known for projecting a very strong yet attractive aura around them. Interestingly, these idols were also mostly famous for quite a few negative incidents such as death/hate (Sulli), drug scandals (Park Bom), reporting of bad behaviour (Irene) and mental health issues (Mina). Although not all, most of these women fitted the trope of "love to hate" with the most significant examples being Lisa and Irene. However, their popularity and fan base is extremely vast and most of these idols were appreciated for their immense hard work. Their perfectionistic tendencies are not hidden to the public, for instance Lisa in Youth with You and Irene's scandal that supposedly arose due to her excessively perfectionistic behaviour. Nevertheless, these women are greatly appreciated for their ability to bounce back from hate and the consistent quality and the passion they display for their work. These women are also usually at the very top of their respective positions. For their looks, they usually have a very cold yet attractive face paired with a touch of cuteness especially through their lip shapes.

For Dhanishta,

These women were mostly known for their unique visuals, calm yet cool voice and are interestingly very skilled dancers. Unlike, the Uttara Bhadrapada women, these women had a more approachable energy and were usually liked for their adorable or charming personalities. They are also more easily liked and favoured by the general audience. They are also usually termed as idols having a more natural beauty (Sooyoung) with beautiful bone structures and supermodel-like bodies giving them an additional classy looks (Naeun). Most of these women either are (Rose) or look tall and have a strong social media presence (Seulgi) which is received very favourably by most of their fans due to its aesthetics and trendy image. Contrastingly, these women greatly respect their privacy and do not share much information regarding their private lives. As mentioned earlier, each of these women have very distinct personalities, and even more than their looks, their fans appreciate their personality which appears genuine, charming and innocent.

For Rohini,

These women are possibly the most diverse in terms of personality with their most prominent common factor being popularity. These women particularly had longer careers compared to other women (Yoona, Hyuna, Ailee). Interestingly, they were also the most likely to either seperate from their groups or naturally purse influential solo careers. Contrary to Dhanshita women, the lives and emotions of these women are more open to the public but this is usually after they have passed a certain event. Both Hyuna and Ailee have been very open about their body issues and how they both had to undergo strict diets in order to fit the image their company and fans wanted. They also report how others might have liked it but they personally did not, highlighting their sacrificial nature and the immense pressure these women face to meet standards and live up to a certain ideal. This could also be attributed to their general body type of being quite broad and having more curves, which went against the beauty standards of its time. On the positive side, these women are greatly admired for their everlasting ethereal looks and natural cuteness. Their personalities are usually quite friendly and also seem to be extremely charming. These women truly shine, making them some of the most entertaining and famous members of their group (Dahyun).

Finally for the Moon Signs,

The Top 3 listed Moon Signs among the most famous female kpop idols included:

Uttara Bhadrapada (8.1%)

Magha (8.1%)

Hasta (8.1%)

For Uttara Bhadrapada,

Sharing many similarities with the Sun in Uttara Bhadrapada women, these women are also strikingly popular and most fall in to the "love to hate" trope. However, the love these women receive from their fans seems to be much greater and they do not have as much as of a negative reaction in comparison either. However, they also have this theme of undergoing several backlashes from the public (Taeyeon & Minzy). They also seem to be the victim of several issues with anxiety in their early years which later transforms to a more composed, evolved and refined image in their later years. However, no matter what stage in their career, people truly do not hold back when attacking these individuals. Interestingly, 2 out 4 of these women were the leaders of their respective groups as well (Taeyeon & Victoria; both SM too). Possibly due to the negative experiences they faced in their earlier years, they tend to take very good care of their juniors and have a very "elder sister" vibe to them (Ailee & Taeyeon). Their visuals have a very "alien" vibe to it with most of them being called such as well.

For Magha,

These women, first and foremost, had extremely striking features with their visuals always remaining an extremely strong topic and a huge contributor to their fame. They are consistent and disciplined in their works enabling these women to succeed in a variety of industries (Sooyoung, Yoona). They are especially known for their particular and even peculiar routines that they enjoy following (lazy stretching in the morning, Sooyoung; eating cereal before bed, Yoona). Surprisingly, these women are also a huge fan of darker hair colours and some even strongly dislike lighter hair colour on them (Nayeon). They are also extremely famous for their witty and honest sense of humour (Chaewon). Their genuineness and ability to entertain a large audience by just being themselves is extremely admired (Nayeon). Although these women do not take the spotlight consistently, they are always able to make a good comeback and rebrand themselves in ways they wish, truly displaying a transformative and versatile nature. They usually have small features and are able to fit a variety of styles and concepts.

For Hasta,

Interestingly most of these women are very good dancers and some of them are especially known for their ability to free style (Chungha). Unfortunately most of the fame received by these individuals is in a negative fashion as well with some being plastic surgery rumours (Chungha, Namjoo). They also receive a considerable amount of criticism for their personality especially with a lot of hate branding them as "fake" for supposedly trying to put on a show (Yeri). These women are also generally quiet and have a calm presence. However, they are also known for being quite blunt and honest when provoked. They usually brand themselves as logical, straight forward and rational most of the time. These women are usually seen taking breaks and time-off from the public due to the hate they receive (Mina). Much of this hate turns these women to become more quiet and distanced which is very much in comparison to their relatively vibrant and outshining nature in their early years. Their appearance usually consists of a small face/features and are usually short in height as well. They usually have a lot of younger and female audience as well.

Thank you for reading so far, please share your observations and feedback, if you have any as well. Will return with more observations💕

[shinycrybaby]

Hi Mati! I have a request :)

Could you do a tokyo rev x reader(any of the guys is fine) related to ballet? My hc is that out of all the guys mikey or rindou can do ballet (just a random one since I think those 2 are pretty flexible) Maybe some fluff with them fooling around in the studio with y/n or angst related to the dark side of ballet (eating disorders, body image issues, injuries etc)

Thanks!

TR Boys who ballet

Characters: Manjiro Sano, Haitani Rindou, Imaushi Wakasa, Inui Seishu

Genre/Tags: Fluff, A bit angsty on Rindou, Established relationship, Kinda no-gangs AU

Warnings: There might be some typos since I wrote this when I was sleepy, implied or referenced bullying on Rindou's part, (let me know if I missed something!)

A/N: I didn't actually expect to receive a request 😭 what I had in mind was something like headcanons but ig this is fine too.

Also, dear anon, I hope you don't mind. Since I'm not really that knowledgeable with ballet, I kind of just went over the general things or from what I know. I can't write or come up with something angsty for your suggestion like the body image one ajdjfjsksbc I really do hope you don't mind 🥹 and I hope you enjoy reading too!

Sano Manjiro / Mikey

He’s absolutely giving me vibes that he enrolled to a ballet class just for shits and giggles back when he was young, because you and Keisuke would tease him about being so good at the dojo that maybe he should start looking for other things to do.

But then Mikey actually took interest in it. And he actually slayed it.

You, Keisuke and Haruchiyo, along with the Sano family would watch him when he’s got recitals or performances. (Baji would cheer as if he’s watching a fight or something).

When you eventually got into a relationship with Mikey. Oh lawd. He would use his flexibility to his advantage.

You know that one meme where the person would kabedon someone but with their legs. IT’S MIKEY 😭

Mans legit would trap you in a corner with his perfect split, you don’t even know if you’d die of embarrassment or feel butterflies from it.

But when it’s serious time, he’d actually reserve a dance room for at least a few hours. He’d invite you to watch him practice, or give you a private performance that actually makes you smile at him with pride.

If you’re both in the mood for it, he’d even teach you a thing or two. Inviting you to stretch with him and then he’d be all up your personal space trying to teach you.

When you get some basics down, he’d lead you to dance with him, guiding you and then whispering to be careful with your feet because he knows how much it would hurt especially if you’re not a ballet dancer.

If you are, then it just makes things easier. It’s dance after dance with him. It’s kind of like your thing with Mikey. There’s nothing more intimate for the two of you than dancing closely to each other. Feeling each other’s movements and soul to the sound playing on the speakers

Haitani Rindou

I actually think that Rin would be the kind to do both gymnastics and ballet. (Of course, he’d still be doing some martial arts.)

We already know how flexible he is. Back then his teachers would actually be surprised, thinking he’s a natural at what he does. (He is)

Among the Haitani brothers, Rin is actually much quieter, or rather, reserved.

He’s confident, of course, but definitely quiet about it.

And since he’s quiet about some things, it took you quite some time to figure out that something was bothering your boyfriend, Rindou.

You’d soon find out his insecurities about being a male ballet dancer. All of which stemmed from his classmates at school.

Rindou would of course have fought back, but he’d promised you then to not get into any trouble, because he knows how worried you will be for him, not knowing that the situation now has made you double your worries for him, along with some anger thrown at the guys who even dared of saying bad things to him.

Your priority however will always be Rin, so after finding out about his insecurities and the stigma that he was facing at school, time with him were either spent with you reassuring him, or validating his feelings, or giving your all to make him feel loved and appreciated.

Rindou would never find out, but you and Ran had plotted and tracked down the guys who’d called him names and even dared of speaking bad about him. They learned a thing or two about ballet too.

Rindou of course started to feel light about your constant reassurance, and he was even surprised when you took some classes with him. Now there’s more time spent together with him, and he’s very happy to teach you about ballet.

He'd even use that time to impress you more. But you're already impressed with him, and absolutely in love from the very start.

Imaushi Wakasa

Another flexible boy. (We’ve all seen how this man literally turns into a fidget spinner with his perfect splits and spinning kicks wigjsjdhsjgi)

Oh, he’s proud. He doesn’t flaunt, but you’ll see it in his eyes how proud he is to be a ballet dancer.

He’d take you shopping for shoes or tights when he needs to replace the worn-out ones.

This man will legit lecture you about the best kind of shoes to wear for ballet. If you have no idea about this kind of stuff, you just give your all to listen to him, because you might pick a thing or two when picking out a gift for him in the future.

When he’s being mocked for being a male ballerina, he won’t hesitate knocking the person down their high horse. If the person doesn’t stop, he might even kick them straight to the face (with grace) — if this happens, please stop him, because we don’t want him potentially going to jail.

Like Mikey and Rindou, Waka would teach you if you’re down to learning at least some basic. He absolutely loves being close to you, so even if you don’t want to learn, he doesn’t mind. He’d instead waltz with you, because again, he loves being close to you.

And on that note, when he has to practice, either for a performance or not, he’d ask you to help him with his stretching.

When he’s got shows, he reserves tickets for you and you don’t miss one of his performances. Of course, you love every second of it, just to watch him in his element. All grace and beauty, that pride wells in your heart whenever you see him on stage.

Inui Seishu

Another beauty and grace.

Please he’s so perfect. 😭 if he rocked and slayed those heels, he wears then he'd be slaying ballet as well. I just know it.

He doesn’t care about other’s opinion with regards to his choice of hobbies. In fact, he'd rub it in their face nonchalantly that he’d achieved more than they ever could.

You, alongside Koko, would also rub it in the haters faces that Inupi is so much more better than them. In the most derogatory way that had others looking down in shame because you guys are right.

Inupi, like Mikey, uses his skills to his advantage when it comes to you. Let’s not ignore the fact that Inupi can be very cheeky if he so pleases.

Those times definitely surface when it’s just you two.

When he’s practicing or just stretching and warming up, he’ll shamelessly look at you through the mirror while you’re on the other side of the room. He’ll give you “that” look that had you melting into a puddle, all the while he’d grin lazily while doing his splits.

If ever Inupi feels some kind of insecurity with himself, you’d quickly notice from how his dancing becomes different. It’s either stiff, or there’s a distant look on his face.

When this happens, you’d ask him to take a break from dancing, and just listen to him speak all about how he feels.

These slumps usually happen when he’s got a big performance ahead of him, so in times like these, you do nothing but be there for him, until he’s ready and he’s back to his old self. All grace and beauty and that hint of cheekiness he shows around you.

[imustbenuts]

Seadall, localization, food, EABS culture, and discussion of Eating Disorder. Trigger Warning.

tl;dr: Seadall is pandering to an East Asian Beauty Standard, technically does not have eating disorder, but is bordering on Disordered Eating, and both the writers and localizers know it.

Our first official male dancer of FE has a bit of a obsession over controlling his diet to a concerning degree. But is it actually an Eating Disorder? No, I don't think so. From my pov, this has everything to do with his job, a Dancer and the dreaded East Asian Beauty Standard (EABS).

EABS idealizes the fair skinned (asian colorism rAAAAGH), the lean and thin. Any level of fats or flaps are no good and is considered undesirable, or worse, a sign of one's gluttonous and even slothful character. IRL, that sentiment has become less pervasive, less judgemental and less awful than 10 years ago, but it's still around. Hell, it's in our Fire Emblems! Average out the body shapes of all dancers or even characters in FE and you'll see what I mean.

(are you in hell yet.)

This EABS is especially prevalent in 1 genre of media that comes pouring out of Japan and Korea... The Pop Idol scene. In Japan, the idol industry can be traced back to the 1960s, and though it has propped up the EABS, this standard's roots goes FURTHER back to even pre-colonialism era, to China and the Tang Dynasty where willowy female bodies were ideal. (That's 618-907AD.)

And when I say EABS, I will include the surrounding countries outside of Japan too. Similarities in culture and all that. Hence East Asian. (Don't be mistaken though. South East and South Asia also has to deal with this shit.)

But hey. I'm still talking about female EABS, right? Where does Seadall fall into this?

Uhhhh. Jumpscare. Surprise K-pop.

(ps i dont know k-pop as well so idk who these ppl are im sorry waaaaug)

Dancers and the Idol Industry

It's easier to see on the female side, but uh, that specific body shape is often achieved through extreme dieting. The body fat % is so low that the dancer's lower ribcage can be seen. Before shooting the dance or a performance, these idol's agencies will notify them to slim down to a certain goal, like say drop 2kg (4.4 lbs) or 4kg (8.8 lbs) in x time, and this is typical. Guys here are no exception.

Weight is manufactured. Looks to some extent (plastic... surgery....). The clothes too, are intentionally picked. Exposing the belly is common since it's the quickest indicator of skinniness.

But hey, I actually lied about the dieting part. It's not really dieting as it's actually straight up starvation, tbh. To lose that weight, the dancers/idols will often eat as little as some protein shake, a few fruits and maybe potato for fiber. Yes, it's as hellish as it sounds, and no, these people are unable to fully function with a calorie intake like this. Source for this claim will be in a video at the bottom of the post by youtuber chaebin n out, titled "How K-POP Destroys Your Body". So.

W̵͓̏͝��e̴͉̾ḽ̷͈͐ĉ̶̠̝͋ö̶̤́m̷̲̒ê̶̬ ̶̧̅ṭ̷̘͑͑ö̵͇́ ̸̛͖̑h̵̳̿͝ė̶͕͉l̵̜͖̇͗ḻ̶̑!̴̪͊̉

Ok, but that's K-pop. What about J-pop?

Japan, where FE rolls out from, have J-pop, which is slightly different. J-pop idols also suffer from EABS but afaik it's not as extreme. Many contemporary J-pop idol groups like Atarashii Gakko!(left) and Babymetal(right) also Do Not make thinness a major selling point with their costuming. This is usually done through hiding the midriff, where belly fat most easily forms. (EABS is still in effect though, don't be mistaken! There could be just as extreme cases out there I'm not aware of ;_;)

So it seems like people kind of agree that obsessing about weight and developing body image issue is messed up.

Hopefully now I've established what is going on irl for Seadall's influences, and what is considered normal or extreme. Relatively anyway. (I hate EABS so much hhggr)

Let's detour to...

Food! Staples! What's normal?

An average meal in Japan consists of a variety of veggies, tofu and a serving of protein, which results in lower fat intake. Also, RICE is a major staple in these meals, so assuming the writers are approaching it with the best intentions, and how Engage's normal might appear to native Japanese audiences, JP Seadall's worry only seems to be on oily food intake and is not overly concerning to me.

In fact, here is an example of a staple set meal (teishoku) I ate over there last December. Yum yum:

Overall a very lean meal. So it's likely Seadall eats something similar-ish and not just greens.

Another important point is that in (East) Asia/Japan, oily food is seen as unhealthy and contributes greatly to cholesterol. This aversion to oily food is driven somewhat by EABS and... Health. I also promise most people are actually chill about this. ...Most people! Meat is yummy! Gyukaku and Ikinari Steak is popular and popping! That's why Seadall likes it after all.

So this is where Seadall's writing starts to contrast. For the most part in the EN version, he only worries about meat. In JP, it's technically oily food, which meat falls under, and he's worried about putting on weight.

Why the extreme worry tho...?

The logic for why all these matters so much to him is this: if a dancer is surrounded by other dancers who are reinforcing this EABS (mirroring the standards of the real world), then their only choice to stay relevant and keep their job is to commit to the same dietary choice and uphold the same EABS, or even have a EABS outperforming the standard.

Because a Dancer's job, or rather, Seadall's job is to pander to people's ideals of beauty. Hence his supports where hair and skin and food becomes a topic.

If he fails the standard, according to the J-pop and K-pop industry, he kind of fails at his job. Is it fair? Fuck no, but no matter what opinion we may think of the standard as outsiders, it remains that there is a LOT of social conditioning and manufacturing going on leading to... all of that. I scream too. I scream a lot, internally.

So what does Seadall look like to someone in this East Asian sphere...?

To the writers credit, they do push for Seadall to indulge more food that makes him happy for at least his mental well-being through the other characters.

This also happens to fall in line with Engage's low key theme of cherishing the moment.

With all I've explained, Seadall might come across as warning to those who over-worry about oily food consumption and trying to pander to an EABS to... chill the fuck out. That it's ok to just go eat some delicious yakiniku if you want to! Go off! If a female character who is concerned with this comes across as too vain, then let's have a guy do it and hope the point lands for the (potentially female) players.

And with all these missing context, it's very easy for one who isn't clued into this sphere assume that Seadall has some eating disorder or that the writers are advocating it. I don't think that's happening here at all. The localizers likely are aware of this missing context and have toned it down several levels for EN release. Wise move, tbh.

(progressiveness can be relative btw. something to keep in mind @_@)

So, is Seadall coming close to some kind of Disordered Eating? Possible. From what I see I think the writers are trying to push Seadall away from it, and trying to stop it from becoming a full blown Eating Disorder. Personally, again, I don't think he has an Eating Disorder.

However! Your Mileage May Vary. I only hope for my opinion and understanding to help inform others, not override it. What's normal for me isn't for everyone, and vice versa, but it's important to remember where Fire Emblem originates from.

And here's the last thing I promised: the video essay if you really want to dive into it:

And that's about it.

Hope this was interesting! Thanks for reading. 😄

EDIT: the Chinese net sphere is the exception to all of this, EABS is especially bad there

[starshine-wagner]

For All the Years

Summary: Josh has had enough of watching you suffer from afar. 

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: negative body image talk, misogyny

To all my bigger b*tches: this one is for us.

This is based off of a conversation one of my roommates endured recently. It had me so frustrated and I needed to channel it somewhere and, well, here we are.

Thanks for engaging with my stuff, y’all! I know I have a lot to improve on, but it’s fun hearing your thoughts and feedback. Please feel free to send me any suggestions!

A/N: This is a re-upload to move my work from my old blog to my current blog.

You’d been having a great time at your friend’s going-away-party and were only a few drinks in when you found yourself on the couch with some of his coworkers. You didn’t know them all too well, besides the few times you’d been at the club together. All you knew was that the tall one was a horrendous dancer, and the one with the blonde curls had a southern accent that you couldn’t quite pin. Being the good friend you were, you engaged them in small talk and tried to bring them into the conversation. 

The dimly lit room reeked of cheap beer and body odor, but you didn’t really mind. Any night spent at the Kiszka’s house was worth the suffering if it meant you got to do it with them.

From where you were on the couch, you could see Danny chatting up some girl in the kitchen. Good for him, you thought. Sam was out on the porch with a couple other guys who you couldn’t make out without your glasses. Though you couldn’t see them, you could sure hear them. They hollered stupid shit into the thick summer air and you thanked God the Kiszkas lived in a relatively secluded area. Otherwise, the police would’ve been called many many many parties ago. 

Somehow, the topic on the couch jumped from favorite dog breeds to general pet care to grooming to personal habits to… this. And it snapped you back into focus.

“I just think that if a girl put more effort into her appearance, she’d get asked on more dates. It’s not even an opinion really. Just like… a fact…”

“Yeah. Like. Objectively, girls who go for runs every day are just gonna get asked on more dates. It’s not a bad thing. That’s just how it is.”

“Absolutely. And like, no shade to bigger women. Some of them are hot too,” the tall one said, giving you a side eye and a reassuring (?) nod, “but like, I don’t know. It’s not for everyone.”

They went on to describe a self-made pyramid ranking system of how boys view women when you finally tuned out. What the fuck. Were you really speaking to grown men in the year 2022? Were their brains actually this archaic and small and stupid and… ???

As soon as you felt your neck get hot and your eyes start to fill with tears, you knew this would be one of those moments. You’d gotten over the bulk of your body image issues a couple years ago.

But, every once in a while, they resurfaced. Half of you wanted to launch into an angry rant at these guys, but the more dominant half of you just wanted to cry.

“Sorry, I just gotta go grab another drink.” You excused yourself, giving whoever was next to you a pat on the knee, and made a beeline for the bathroom upstairs. You’d likely need it for longer than a quick piss, and didn’t want a drunk person banging on the door before you were done wiping away any evidence of your hurt. 

You grabbed the handle and swung open the door when-

“Ocupado!” Dammit. You’d walked in on Jake peeing before, but this was the least convenient time for it to happen again. Still a bit drunk, he turned to cover himself, but not without a little smirk in your direction. Unbeknownst to you, he caught the look on your face before you slammed the door shut and retreated.

You found your way into Ronnie’s room. It’s usually where you stayed on nights like these since she was off at college. With the lights off and the white noise of the party downstairs lulling you into thought, you let go.

It didn’t really matter what those guys had said. You’d probably never see them again. But something about their attitude triggered a deep hurt. Years of being seen as the funny fat friend would do that to you. Immediately, your mind jumped to wayward conclusions. 

You didn’t have a boyfriend because you were fat. You probably wouldn’t ever be someone’s first choice, solely because of your size. Could you blame them? Skinny girls are pretty, after all. 

You wondered if that’s why Josh never made a move on you. It makes sense, you thought. Despite years of little hints and sweet touches and vulnerable hearts and wandering eyes, it made sense that he never really wanted you like that.

It made sense that he’d just seen you as his silly, platonic, good-for-a-laugh, fills-the-gaping-hole-of-loneliness girl friend. Idiot, you thought. Of course he never wanted you. He is way too fucking good for someone like me.

Just as you were consuming yourself in these thoughts, you heard a tap on the door, and heard someone call your name. You figured that, if you held your breath and kept silent, whoever it was would assume you weren’t in there and go away. Just in case, you crept off the bed and onto the floor beside it, out of view. 

“Y/N?” Josh asked in the dark. “I know you want to see Jake’s dick but you could’ve just asked politely.” Despite your mood, you couldn’t help but hold back a breathy laugh. Josh padded over on the carpet to the other side of the bed to find you lying face first on the ground.

“Whatcha doing down there?”

“Your carpet smells like musty grandma.” You peeked up at him as he took a seat on the edge of the mattress.

“Okay, well, technically it’s not my carpet. It’s Ronnie’s. Actually, even more technically, it’s my mother’s carpet.” Again, he made you smile, but it quickly faded and you put your face back to the ground.

“What’s up, Y/N?” He poked you with his shoe and you knew that he knew you weren’t actually all right. Ever the problem-solver, you also knew that he wouldn’t leave until you told him what was on your mind. So, you sat up, cross-legged on the floor with your head resting against the wall.

“Just crying. Leo’s work friends pissed me off.” Josh’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“What did they do?”

“They didn’t do anything. They just… they’re idiots. Misogynistic, dumbass fucking barbarians.” You crossed your arms and closed your eyes in an attempt to hold back the tears that still threatened to betray you.

You’d cried in front of Josh before. Many times, actually. But after the mental gymnastics you’d just done, you weren’t in the mood to give over more of yourself to him. He doesn’t actually want you.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” He slapped both his knees and went to stand up before you reached for his wrist to stop him.

“No, stay.” Oops. You didn’t mean to say that.

“I’ll come back after I kick those assclowns out of my house.” He tried to walk forward but your grip only tightened.

“… You mean your mom’s house.”

“Shut up, Y/N.” He couldn’t help but smirk at your wit.

“Please? I don’t want to cause a big thing,” you begged, “It’s not a big deal.” After a moment of contemplation, he rubbed your knuckles with his thumb before detaching himself and finding a place on the floor next to you. His little body curled up so easily next to yours.

You wondered if he noticed the difference in size between you two, too. After a moment of silence, he turned his head and gave you a slightly squinty-eyed look and a half-assed smile that read something like: I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what happened. 

Better to get this over with sooner rather than later. 

“They just… We were talking and they started saying some shit about dating girls and how, basically, skinnier girls are prettier. And that girls who go on runs every day get asked out more. And implied that it’s women’s own fault if they’re not perceived as attractive to men. I don’t know. It’s dumb but it made me-”

“It’s not dumb,” he cut you off and reached for your hand. “Well, wait, I mean, it is dumb. But what you’re feeling isn’t dumb.” Josh’s lips were pursed in concern, while his hands found their way to rest chastely on your thigh. You uncrossed your legs and scooted a tad further away so he couldn’t keep his hands there. He only does that because he knows nobody else will.

“Ok. Well. Yeah, it just made me frustrated. I mean,” you hesitated, eyes flicking to the door, “you saw me back when Lucas cheated on me. And that one time we talked about why. Just, my brain automatically started replaying the shit he said about my body being too gross and, I don’t know. It just…”

Fuck. The tears were coming whether you liked it or not. Your hands went to cover your face, but Josh was too quick. He moved them to his lap and pulled your head into his chest. 

At that moment, you didn’t care how you’d feel later. You didn’t care that you’d fall asleep feeling stuck in this limbo of affection for someone who’d probably laugh at the idea of dating you. Who cared if it was a pity gesture? You needed someone to comfort you and he was a warm body willing to walk you through it. And he was warm…

Josh combed through your hair with his fingers, ever so gently, while you let out your cries. It felt nice. He was always so gentle with you. Even in the pale moonlight from the window, you could see that you were staining Josh’s white shirt with your tears. 

“Sorry,” you said, slightly muffled by his chest. 

“Don’t apologize. Never apologize…” You could hear his heartbeat. Slow and steady, like the strokes of his thumb on the back of your head. After another few seconds like this, he allowed you to pull back, still keeping his arms around your shoulders.

“I think I just wanna sleep. Is it okay if I stay here again?”

“You know you never have to ask. Towels are in the laundry room instead of the usual spot. And I’ll try to wrap things up down there.”

“It’s okay, don’t make them-”

“I’m gonna tell them to wrap it up,” he insisted. Josh pushed himself up and sauntered out the door. You sat there, glued to your spot in a heavy sadness. Maybe you’d just sleep right where you were. 

From downstairs, you heard Josh begin to sing, “time to get the fuck out of my house!” over and over. It was his way of feigning kindness when he was actually just impatient and frustrated. If he made it into a song, it didn’t seem as threatening. Thirty minutes later, you heard people start to finally say their goodbyes, and a bit of rustling outside, as people made their way home.

Once the last engines roared down the street and Sam finally turned off the music, you figured it was safe to head over to the laundry room and grab a towel to clean your face with. It’s a wonder you still had the motivation to wash up.

As you crept down the hall past Jake’s room, you heard him. You heard Josh. The door was wide open. And, by their hushed tones, you immediately knew it was something you weren’t supposed to hear.  

“Because I’m fucking wrecked, Jake! Okay?”

Silence. 

“I can’t stand to see her fucking beating herself up anymore, so I fucked him up instead. Five years of loving her and needing her and not saying shit like a dumbass… I’m tired of it.”

Your heart immediately felt like it was going to jump right out of your throat. You had to remind yourself to take your next breath as you stood there in the hallway, unsure of what your next move would be. But, your next breath came not as a breath at all. Instead, a soft gasp filled your ever-tightening lungs. Shit.

You watched from behind as Josh’s head flinched, like he was about to turn around, but caught himself.

He knew it was you. He didn’t need to look.

With the way his skin was burning at your proximity, it couldn’t not be you.

His head hung down and his eyes were glued to the floor in front of him. Jake peeked past Josh to look at you with wide eyes. His brother had let his biggest secret slip. 

For years he’d kept it hidden behind thinly veiled sarcasm and brotherly harassment. He made sure never to get too close, keeping himself just far enough away that he wouldn’t be tempted to say ‘fuck it all.’

Honestly, he was surprised it took this long for the truth to come out. 

You felt frozen in place, stuck to the ground below you. Your brain couldn’t get your legs to move until Josh finally began to turn around. Not wanting him to actually see you, you did a tip-toed run back to Ronnie’s room, towel-less and confused.

Was he saying what you thought he was saying? It couldn’t be. Your mind had to be making shit up in some weird psychotic break triggered by the assholes at the party. Yes, that was certainly the case.

…But you were pretty damn sure you just heard Josh saying he loved you? 

And needed you? 

And it didn’t sound platonic…?

And… wait, did he hit those guys?

You threw yourself onto the bed and under the covers, with your back to the doorway. The plan was to act like you didn’t hear anything. You’d actually been asleep this whole time! You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to create a believable breathing pattern for someone who was asleep. This way, if Josh came in to try and explain whatever that was, he’d realize it wasn’t you after all. It would give you more time to try and figure out what you’d say.

Genius plan.

Just as you expected, the door creaked open. Seconds passed with no sound when Josh finally whispered your name into the dark. Sticking to the plan, you pretended to sleep and prayed he would give up and go away. This was not a territory you were prepared to explore tonight. Again, Josh whispered into the room.

“Y/N. I know you’re awake. Jake saw you.”

Shit. Would it be stupid to just keep sticking to the plan and pretend- 

He sat down on the other side of the bed. 

“I just…” he cleared his throat, “that’s not how you were supposed to find out.” Okay. So we’re doing this. Once you summoned the courage to face him, you rolled over and saw Josh fidgeting with his necklace and avoiding your gaze. You weren’t sure exactly what was about to unfold.

“I just really hate seeing you like that. What those guys said was disgusting. You’re worth…” he rubbed his palm down the side of his face, resting it at his neck. “You’re so perfect. And to know that they made you question that just infuriates me to no end, Y/N.” 

You peeked at him with one eye, the other buried in your pillow. He’d fully turned to face you now.

“Listen, I get it if you don’t like me like that,” he started, “but I couldn’t just let those guys say shit like that and walk away untouched.” You didn’t know what the hell to say. So you let the silence go on. And on. “… Y/N? Can you say just, anything, please?”

“… You hit them?” Honestly, you were kinda surprised. Josh was never really one for violence, even with his brothers.

“Well. I tried. One of them kinda shoved me away and I could only get one good whack at him but… I tried,” he admitted, a little sheepish. 

“Are you okay?” 

He huffed, “I’m fine.” You considered it for a second… the idea of Josh trying to punch someone and failing. You bit your lip, holding back a little bit of a smile at the thought. “What could possibly be amusing you, right now?” Josh asked. 

“You’re such an idiot. That dude is so much bigger than you!”

He shook his head, maintaining an uncharacteristically serious tone. “Don’t care.” Josh’s eyes seemed to be pleading with you. Begging you to recognize the emotion behind them. Imploring you to understand what he wanted to say without actually having to say it. His gaze became too much, and you turned your head away.

That’s when he bent down and surprised you by pressing his lips against yours, just for a moment. 

“Josh, you don’t have to-”

“I’m sorry…”

“Please don’t kiss me because you feel bad for me. I’m fine. I’ll be… fine. I’ve dealt with this shit my whole life and I always get over it.” His brows furrowed and he licked his lips.

“You- you think I kissed you because I feel bad for you?”

“I guess. Yeah.” You started to pull the comforter over your face and retreat back to the safety of the bed, but he stopped you.

“Y/N. Look at me.” He grabbed your chin with this thumb and forefinger, giving it a tap before placing his hands next to yours. “I kissed you because I’ve been dying to for years. Not because I pity you or some shit. I fucking want you.” He paused. “And if you don’t- like, if that’s not something you want then that’s okay and I’m sorry for misinterpreting, but… God,” he sighed. 

Slowly, your hand crept out of the covers and onto his. You let your fingers wrap around his thumb and his eyes shot up to meet yours, though his head didn’t move. If he really meant what he said, you knew you had to be honest with him as well. 

“I want you too, Josh.”

And with that, the walls between the two of you came crashing down.

He pulled you up off your pillow and kissed you like you’d be gone tomorrow. Slowly peppering you with sweet touches along your face and down to your neck and across your collarbones.

You grabbed the sides of his face with both hands, forcing him to look up at you. You held his gaze as tears started to fill your eyes. Instinctively, he wiped them away as they came and grazed your forehead with his lips before drawing you into his arms. 

You two sat there, just hugging, for what felt like forever. You allowed his heart beat to soothe you into calm. Once you found your breath again, you asked something into his shoulder

“You really… you love me?” He took a deep breath in.

“I do, Y/N. I love you. And I’ll make up for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.”

And with that, you hated those misogynistic assholes a little less.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

top ten first watches of 2023?

I assume you mean films, right? Anyway, top 10 in no particular order.

Crash was a long time coming, but it took a podcast I used to listen to weekly to finally get to this Cronenberg classic. Bodily modifications? Violent eroticism? Body as a machine? Death & eroticism? It has it all and much more.

For those of you in your 20s and 30s (or even older) who feel alienated in the urban landscape, surrounded by crowds whilst feeling lonely and yearning for any type of human connection, this film is for you.

It's no secret that Brian de Palma wanted to be Hitchcock since he was a baby (I assume, but it sure does look so). You can see it in so many movies of his and Body Double is a perfect example. It even has the misogyny down to a T. But it's also really good and I'm a fan of voyeurism in cinema (from a critical position mostly). This is like Rear Window and Vertigo mashed together, but with 80s hair.

Now this was probably the highlight for me this year. Editor by day, sex worker by night, Kathleen Turner is a force in this film, alongside Anthony Perkins, the perverted priest. But if that is not enough to do the trick, the cinematography and that anal sex scene might do the trick 😉

Who knew Joan Crawford had such a big issue with wire hangers? Not me, but I sure found out in that crazy scene that has one of the most memorable meltdowns in cinema. Every shot of Faye Dunaway screams "I want that Oscar, god damn it!"

Fedora is the late 70s version of Sunset Boulevard and it has the same director. Not as good as that classic, but my god, the clothes! I'd watch it again just for the clothes, particularly that white suit Fedora is wearing in the garden of her villa when she receives that honorary Oscar.

I don't think there's any Paul Schrader film that I didn't like. It wouldn't make sense to call him underrated, but he's better than others from that 1970s gang (cough *de Palma* cough). In Hardcore, a father finds out his daughter went to Los Angeles and started acting in porn. He gets the confirmation when he actually sees her in one film in some shady movie theater. It's a weird and very uncomfortable scene and by comparison, not much, knowing how it will unfold later.

Of course Madonna is always in control of her image and what she allows to be seen or how she comes across. But that doesn't mean there's nothing genuine there, on the contrary. And the camera captures that. The backstage, the everyday conversations, the relationship with the dancers. Real people with real emotions and the more darker parts are allowed to slip in through the cracks. On top of that, it has footage from her tour in 90-91, a reminder of how Madonna is one of the best performers out there, making me wish there'd be a time machine so I can see her live during that time.

For anyone who is a fan of Sex and The City, how about a late 1930s version? Fast pace dialogue, outfits to die for and a cast made almost entirely of women.

The second Cronenberg on the 2023 list. I watched M. Butterfly after seeing Madame Butterfly at the opera. The film is slightly different and it deals with some of my favorite themes in fiction and media lately: gender identities, criticism of colonialism, orientalist fantasies that obscure realities and so much more.

[littlemissmentallyunstable]

hey! Can you show us all the requests you got and what you’re working on??????

hey!! yes of course I can!! thank you for asking.

~ req list:

- [ ] PART 4 mysterious blonde

- [ ] the hawthorne with the green eyes part 2

- [ ] jameson x avery’s best friend reader

- [ ] grayson x reader (enemies to lovers)

- [ ] grayson x reader (reader can’t swim)

- [ ] crazy little thing called love part 2

- [ ] grayson x ‘poor’ reader

- [ ] grayson x reader (gray is jealous of reader’s ex)

- [ ] grayson x reader (family hating reader)

- [ ] rohan x savannah

- [ ] kai x paedyn x daughter

- [ ] TW!! grayson/jameson suicidal

- [ ] PART 4 the dancer and the angel

- [ ] grayson x reader (body image issues)

- [ ] lyra and gray (one bed trope)

these are literally JUST my requests and I’m not filtering in any of my own fics that I make up completely!! so thank you to anyone who has requested but I hope you can kind of understand why it’s taking me ages to get my fics out.

I try to work on them in order, so the at bottom were asked most recently and probably won’t be written for a while. BUT they will all 100% be written I just need some time

if you want to request something, please don’t be shy, just keep in mind you might not see it for a few weeks (or even a month)

however I will say that I am so so so excited to write some of them, your ideas have been amazing stimuli and I really want to turn all of them into a fic!!