#Josh Kiszka fanfic

[hailthegodsong]

PRACTICE

One Shot ~ College Josh Kiszka x College Female Reader

Word Count: 7k +

Summary: After facing the embarrassment of failing to make a girl cum during his first time, Josh confides in you, his best friend. You figure out together that the best way to learn is with practice, and Josh is very willing to learn.

Content Warnings: College Josh, tons of ellipses (...), mutual pining, kissing, crying, swearing, self-depreciation, reverse hurt/ comfort, awkwardness, brief mention of porn. SMUT 18+ INCLUDING: Guided sexual activity (teaching), oral sex (female and male receiving), lack of knowledge on female anatomy (Josh struggles to find the clit for a hot minute), teeth, accidental edging?, fingering, moaning, erection, grinding, orgasms, happy ending, sleeping together, teasing, flirting and a pinch of domestic fluff.

꧂

Josh had been a constant in your life for as long as you could remember, an unwavering presence woven into the fabric of your childhood through to adulthood. From navigating the labyrinth of high school hallways to chasing the shared ambition of attending the same college, the two of you had always moved in tandem. Together, you weathered it all: sleepless nights bent over textbooks, the dizzying thrill of your first (underage) alcoholic drink, and those languid afternoons when laughter spilled over with the haze of cheap weed. Whatever life demanded, you faced it side by side.

His presence in your dorm had long since ceased to feel like an intrusion. Though the rules of gender-separated housing dictated his place was down the hall, Josh had effortlessly claimed yours as his second home. He’d sprawl across your bed without a hint of self-consciousness, idly flipping through the pages of books he’d never read or tinkering with the turntable until the familiar crackle of your favorite vinyl filled the air. And when he wasn’t here, you were in his room, legs dangling off the edge of his bed as you picked apart the meaning of song lyrics or indulged in your shared taste for philosophical debates that never led to conclusions.

There was a comfort in Josh’s company, a rhythm to it that felt unspoken and eternal. But lately, that ease had begun to fray, tension seeping into the quiet spaces you once took for granted.

You couldn’t pinpoint when it started— when his laugh began to linger in your ears long after the moment had passed. Or when you found yourself watching the way his curls framed his face, wild and untamed. The intensity of your attention startled you sometimes, the way your pulse quickened at the sight of him absentmindedly biting his lip or fiddling with the hem of his shirt. You told yourself it was nothing. A passing infatuation, harmless and insignificant. A crush. It wasn’t like you hadn’t crossed that line before.

Prom night was the first and only time it happened—a kiss born of youthful curiosity and mutual inexperience, convincing yourselves that you couldn't possibly graduate high school without having a first kiss. It hadn’t been love, not in the traditional sense. You’d laughed about it after, promising each other it was no big deal. Just a silly, awkward pact between friends. And for years, it hadn’t been more than that. But now, the memory lingered in sharper focus, refusing to fade.

Tonight, as Josh stood before your mirror, fussing with the stubborn collar of his shirt, there was a shift in the air. His movements lacked their usual carelessness, replaced instead by something more deliberate. His reflection caught yours, his brow furrowing slightly as he smoothed down his curls.

“Okay, okay,” he said, spinning to face you. “Do I look okay? My hair’s not too…” he fluffed his curls around and shook his rigid hands around his head for emphasis, “...feral?”

You tilted your head, assessing him. Josh always looked good, but tonight he’d gone the extra mile. His shirt hugged his lean frame perfectly, the dark jeans emphasizing his toned legs. The faint sheen of cologne reached you even from across the room, and it took effort to suppress a pang of something you didn’t want to name.

“You look fine,” you said, keeping your tone light. “You’ve gotten this far; she obviously likes you.”

The ‘she’ in question was a girl Josh had been seeing for a few weeks. Pretty, confident, and apparently into him enough to invite him over tonight. The way he’d hesitated before telling you about the invitation had clued you in on what he thought it meant. Suggestive comments, he’d said. The implication clear.

Josh was still a virgin. And you suspected that tonight, things may change. 

You ignored the ugly twist of jealousy in your stomach as he flashed you a hopeful smile. “Thanks for the pep talk,” he said, grabbing his jacket. “I’ll uh… let you know how it goes?”

You managed a smile and waved him off, saying something about how being late wouldn’t get him very far, the door clicking shut softly behind him. The room felt quieter without him, emptier. Shaking your head, you pulled out your laptop, determined to distract yourself with homework. 

But your mind kept drifting, wondering how the night was going. If it was everything Josh hoped for. If he…

You pushed the thought away and refocused on your screen. The wait was painful, and it didn’t help that his cologne lingered in the air, along with a few clothes he’d left scattered on your floor. You weren’t expecting to see Josh again that night, suspecting he'd return to his dorm… or spend the night at hers, but you were anxiously awaiting a text to clue you in on how the night went.

Two hours later, a knock jolted you from your half-distracted state. You frowned, glancing at the time. When you opened the door, your breath hitched.

Josh stood there, his eyes red and puffy, cheeks wet, curls disheveled. He looked heartbreakingly vulnerable, and before you could think, you were pulling him into your arms.

“Josh, what happened? Are you okay?”

He didn’t answer right away, burying his face in your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your middle in a tight hold. His breath hitched, and you felt the faint tremble of his body as he let out a quiet sob. You shuffled backward into the room, kicking the door shut behind you.

“Josh?” you prompted again, softer this time, reaching up to stroke the back of his head.

He pulled back from your touch, the movement sudden, as if you’d burned him. He swiped at his eyes with the heels of his palms, frustration evident in every movement. “I fucked it up,” he said, voice cracking. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He ran a hand through his hair and gripped it at the root in anguish. 

Your brow furrowed. “Talk to me. What happened?”

Josh let out a dramatic groan, and sat on the end of your bed, eyes closed tight in a grimace as he replayed memories from the night through his head. He huffed and flopped backward onto your bed. He lay sprawled out, staring at the ceiling, blinking away fresh tears. You climbed onto the bed, sitting cross-legged beside him, your hand resting lightly on his forearm. Your thumb traced soothing circles against his skin as you waited for him to speak.

“I embarrassed myself so bad,” he said finally.

You stayed quiet, sensing he needed to get it all out.

“We were making out,” he gripped his palm against his forehead, and dragged it down his face, pulling the skin as it descended. “Things were… happening… you know, escalating,” he added, his voice tinged with mortification. “She wanted me to go down on her.”

Your throat went dry, and you cleared it quickly. “Okay,” you said carefully.

Josh glanced at you, his cheeks flushing, then returned his gaze to the ceiling. “I mean, I really wanted to. I was happy to. But I’ve never… I’ve never done that before. I… I couldn’t…” He groaned again, throwing an arm over his face. “She said it was fine, but I couldn’t even make her cum.”

You swallowed hard, your heart twisting at how genuinely distressed he sounded.

“I told her I’d keep trying,” he continued, voice breaking. “I wanted to learn, but she just… didn’t want to anymore. Then she said we shouldn’t see each other again. Kicked me out of her room. She… she was so mean about it too, like I’d really wasted her time.”

Your chest tightened. “That’s harsh.”

“It’s pathetic. I’m pathetic,” he muttered. “Can you believe I did research before I went? I even watched porn videos for fucks sake!” he exclaimed, and your brows rose. “I thought– I thought I was prepared. But– I’m just another one of those fucking… idiots, who don't even know how to–”

“Josh,” you interrupted. “It’s not like anyone’s born knowing how to do these things. Porn also probably wasn’t the most trusting research either,” you added with a little smile, “But every girl is different anyways and it takes practice.”

He rolled onto his side to face you, head propped up by his arm. “How am I supposed to practice if I just get kicked out when I try?” He whispered an ‘Oh God’ under his breath, tears dried now, but the look of pure shame and utter embarrassment still ever present on his features. 

You bit your cheek, searching for the right words. “You’re a handsome boy, Josh. There are plenty of girls who’d be happy to… help you figure it out.”

He scoffed. “As if. I’m never trying that again. Too embarrassing.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. He toyed with a loose thread on your lounge pants, his face a display of frustration and sadness.

“I just… I don’t know how she– how can anyone expect me to know how when…” he trailed off, bringing his thumb to his mouth to nervously pick at his fingernail. “I just need someone to teach me,” he whispered, almost to himself.

An impulsively bad idea surfaced in your haze of thoughts. You sat in silence, turning the idea over in your mind. It was ridiculous, maybe even a little reckless, but… you’d suggested something like this before. That kiss on prom night, a way to shed the weight of inexperience, had felt practical at the time. This wasn’t so different, was it? The same kind of problem, the same kind of solution… and maybe…

“I mean,” you said hesitantly. “You could…”

Josh twisted his body below you and flopped his head into your lap casually, looking up at you with those wide, earnest eyes. “Could what?”

Your gaze darted away, one finger twisting one of the curls that framed his face absently. “Never mind. It’s stupid.” You shook your head, heat creeping up your neck.

“No, no,” he said, his voice soft but insistent. “Say it. Please. You can’t say anything stupider than I already have tonight.”

You let out a weak chuckle, nerves buzzing under your skin. “I was gonna say… you could– if you were okay with it… you could try it on… I mean, I could teach you.”

The words hung heavy in the air. The silence that followed was almost deafening, broken only by the ticking clock and the faint chirp of crickets outside. You could hear the soft inhale and exhale of your own breaths, and the absence of Joshs, who had apparently stopped breathing. 

You scrunched your face in embarrassment, tilting your head back to avoid his gaze. “Oh my god, that was so stupid. Please forget I ever said that. I don’t know—”

“No!”

Your eyes snapped back to his face as he sat up abruptly, meeting you at eye level. His hand landed lightly on your knee, grounding you.

“No,” he repeated, softer now. “I mean, yes. I mean… no, don’t forget it. I don’t think it’s stupid,” he shook his head frantically. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes wide with something between nervous anticipation and curiosity. You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Really?” you managed, barely above a whisper. The boundaries of your friendship had never been crossed like this before, and the weight of what you were suggesting settled heavily between you.

Josh nodded, his gaze flicking to where his hand rested on your knee before returning to meet your eyes. “I mean, yeah. If you’d be okay with… that. I don't want you to do it just cause you think you have to or anything,” he said, his voice steady despite the tension in the air. “I want you… to want to.”

The vulnerability in his tone sent a shiver down your spine. You nodded, hesitating before speaking. “I do want to,” you admitted softly. Your ears heated at your admittance, and you were quick to correct your confession. “I mean… how else are you gonna learn?” You added quickly, as if it could somehow lessen the gravity of the moment.

Josh exhaled a shaky laugh, his lips twitching into a faint smile. “Right. Okay.” He shifted slightly, his hand still on your knee. “But um… we’ll be okay after this, right? I don’t want to mess us up or anything.”

You let out a nervous laugh of your own, shaking your head. “Yeah, we’ll be okay. It’s just like when we kissed in senior year. We can just… forget it ever happened after.” The idea of forgetting something so monumental seemed silly, and you knew for a fact you’d never be able to ‘forget it’. Josh stared at you with uncertainty, your friendship too important to him to lose. “Josh, I’m not going to hate you if you can’t figure it out. Besides,” you teased lightly, “My expectations aren’t particularly high after the way your night went.”

His laughter was genuine, his body relaxing slightly. “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he quipped, his smile growing. But the tension remained, unspoken yet palpable. Josh glanced around your room, his eyes settling on the quilt cover before he cleared his throat. “So… how do we do this?” he asked, the awkwardness of the question stark against the intimacy of the moment.

You swallowed hard, looking down at your hands. “Um, okay,” you huffed out a short breath, “We’re really doing this,” you murmured, half to yourself. Taking a deep breath, you lifted your gaze to meet his. “Do you want me to… guide you? Or should I let you try and then just… correct you as we go?”

Josh thought for a moment, his mouth pursing as he considered. The soft glow from your bedside lamp illuminated his face, his curls framing him like a halo. “Maybe… just let me try?” he said finally. “And you can tell me if I’m doing something wrong? Tell me what to do instead?”

You nodded, your nerves thrumming under your skin. “Okay,” you said, your voice steadier than you expected. “Let’s just… get it over with.”

Josh’s eyes widened slightly as you stood, the reality of the situation hitting you both. You hesitated for a moment before pulling down your lounge pants, exposing your legs. You still wore your panties, the fabric a modest barrier that somehow felt more intimate than nothing at all. You kept your chin high, determined not to succumb to the embarrassment bubbling inside you.

You climbed back onto the bed, lying against the pillows so you could watch him. The air was thick with tension, the weight of what you were doing sinking in. “I’m going to leave these on for you to take off,” you said, gesturing vaguely. “It’s not just about… you know. It’s a process. For girls, at least. You need to take your time. Go slow.”

Josh nodded, repositioning himself to kneel between your legs. His movements were hesitant, the vulnerability of the moment clear in the way his hands hovered uncertainly. As he leaned forward, his breathing matched yours— uneven and nervous.

You caught an accidental glimpse of the growing bulge in his jeans, your cheeks heating at the sight. 

Josh’s gaze flickered briefly before he clenched his jaw, his own embarrassment evident. “I know,” he muttered, noticing your wandering gaze. “Just… ignore it.”

You stifled a proud smirk, the idea of him feeling aroused right now sending a similar pang down to your core. 

“Are you sure you want to do this? I’m not… I might not be able to…” Josh asked, insecurity creeping in on himself as he lowered himself, eye level with your clothed pussy. Having an embarrassing encounter with a girl he’d been seeing was bad enough, but for the same thing to happen with the woman he admired most? He’d never live it down. 

“I’m sure. I mean, this is really fucking weird,” you laughed, “But if you don’t do well that’s okay, that’s what we’re doing this for, right?” 

Josh nodded, jaw tight, before he refocused his gaze to your barely covered pelvis. “You’re right, this is…” Josh blew out a long breath, and you felt it hit your inner thighs, “Really fucking weird. I can’t believe we’re doing this.” 

“Don’t think about it too much,” you advised, voice wavering in your faux confidence. Josh nodded and swallowed, taking a deep breath before reaching his hand up your legs to gently grasp the lacy sides of your panties. 

Looking back to your blown out eyes, he licked his lips. “Can I take this off?” 

You nodded quickly, trying to calm your racing heart and to somehow control the heaving of your chest. With fluttering eyes, Josh took a hold of your underwear on each side of your hip, and gently pulled them downward. 

So you were really doing this. 

You tilted your hips to aid in the removal of the only thing maintaining your modesty, and blew out a tight breath when Josh's eyes refocused on your pussy, now completely bare. 

“Shit, okay,” he breathed out, eyes glossy as he stared down at you. You instinctively closed your knees insecurely, cueing Josh in that he wasn't the only one who felt that they had expectations tonight. 

He placed a gentle hand on your knee and looked back up to you, “Don't be shy.” His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, “If you don't want to do this anymore just tell me, please.”

You nodded quietly, “I’m fine. Same uh… same for you.”

He shook his head, but didn’t say anything else as he gently parted your knees for him, exposing you once more. With a dramatic roll of his shoulders, as if he were warming up for a workout, Josh then plopped back onto his forearms, the bed bouncing slightly under his weight. 

You giggled a little at his theatrics, earning you a smirk from below. The smile was familiar, and you eased out a breath of comfort remembering that this was Josh. You didn’t ever have to feel self-conscious around him. 

“Okay, I’m just gonna go in,” Josh stated, though it was more like the question with the way he watched you, unsure, but a little curious too. 

You nodded, reaching for another pillow to prop beneath your head, “Just go slow, remember? It’s more sensitive at the start,” you advised. 

Josh nodded, and dipped his head between your legs. Your stomach caved with anticipation. You tilted your head back to brace yourself for the contact, staring pleadingly at the ceiling as if it would give you any answers as to what on earth you were both doing. 

Your leg twitched softly as you unexpectedly felt a barely-there kiss planted against your inner thigh, Josh's hand creeping beneath the curve of your plush limb to hold. His eyes found yours quickly at the first movement. He was unspeaking, but his expression was question enough.

You nodded, “Keep going.”

With a timid smile, he nodded once, before his head disappeared between your legs again. He placed another kiss to the same spot on the other leg, lingering a little bit longer before pulling away, only just. 

His lips grazed your skin as he dragged them closer to your pussy, planting another kiss before moving on. 

You swallowed, feeling yourself throb in anticipation. You’d have expected him to be more… clumsy? You weren't quite sure, but the tentative, slow burning nature of Josh's journey was not what you were expecting. 

At last, his lips found where you needed him most, grazing across your sensitive skin, before he pressed one long, wet kiss to your clit. 

You gasped as his lips practically enveloped the sensitive bud, and he pulled back slightly, eyebrows rising as his eyes found your face, watching intently for a reaction. Satisfied with what he saw, he looked back down, and reconnected his lips with your aching core. 

You were embarrassingly wet, and if Josh noticed, he didn't point it out. He ran his tongue down to your entrance and gathered some wetness and spread it over you, coating you in your arousal. The unholy sounds of your moistened skin reverberated in the otherwise quiet room, and you fought back a blush. Josh shuffled below, repositioning his legs so that his groin was in direct contact with the mattress. 

You didn’t have much time to think about it before his tongue dragged up through you, stopping just below your clit as his lips sucked on… well, nothing.

You furrowed your brow and peered down at him. You could feel his tongue darting out to touch you, licking between his plush lips, just above your entrance. 

“Josh, what… what are you doing?” you asked, bending a knee a little higher and widening it to see him better.

Josh's eyes bounced to yours in an instant. “Does… does that not feel good?”

You smiled sympathetically at him, “No… not really.” Josh's ears went bright red. “I mean, you're doing the right thing, but do it… do it where you were before… on my clit.”

“I thought I was?” he wondered, peering down at you and reaching his index finger to touch that same– close, yet wrong spot, just between your clit and your entrance. “Isn’t it here?”

You let loose a silly smile as you shook your head, “No, you had it before…” you commented, reaching down to lift his finger marginally higher until it rested over the nub. His eyes zeroed in on the spot, mouth open in a lazy ‘o’. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I was told it was just above the… hole. Like almost on the edge,” he whispered, slowly circling the spot and watching you for your reaction. 

You stifled a moan as you squirmed a little. “Don’t apologise, you weren’t far off,” you choked out. “Who– who told you that?” you asked, sanity slipping through your fingers as you tried to compose yourself against Josh's moving fingers. It was as if he had forgotten he was even touching you.

Josh smiled sheepishly, “Jake.” 

You rolled your eyes and Josh pumped his brows once before dipping his head back down. He reattached his lips to you, this time right over your clit, eyes watching you for approval. The look of ecstasy on your face was apparently enough, as his suction broke momentarily through his little smile. 

His tongue slipped through his lips and lightly flicked your clit, causing you to cry out. You could have died of embarrassment right then, keeping your eyes on the ceiling to avoid Josh's burning stare. 

If Josh minded you being vocal, he didn't let it show as he continued his movements, gracing your swollen skin with soft, calculated movements. You bit your lip hard as his tongue continued to flick against you, that familiar, warm, tight feeling building in the depth of your stomach. 

But as quickly as it arrived, the feeling left you, as Josh's pace changed completely. You sniffed, and tried to get used to the new rhythm, straightening your shoulders slightly. 

Your mouth parted in a gentle sigh as you grew comfortable with his movements again, a little slower than before, but just as pleasurable. Although he’d been a little clumsy here and there– and failed to locate the clit– Josh was doing a pretty good job, you thought. You weren’t so sure what that girl had had an issue with.

You hummed happily as his movements brought forth another wave of pleasure, tightness building in your stomach again. Alas, Josh’s tongue changed rhythm again. 

You threw your head back in annoyance, feeling the warm fuzzy feeling leave you in a blip. 

“Josh…” you started, bringing your hand to his shoulder and tapping lightly. He popped his head up, chin listening and eyes dazed. 

“Yeah?” he asked. His arms were still hooked tightly around your thighs, keeping both you and him grounded in the act. His contented look quickly fell when he took in your expression. “Oh. What is it? Tell me, please.”

“You’re… you’re doing really good, I promise, it's just that…” you hesitated. It was a lot harder giving feedback in the bedroom than you would have thought. Maybe it was the people pleaser in you, or maybe it was because you cared about Josh, but you felt bad. 

“Just what? Tell me, c’mon, I wanna learn,” he pleaded with an encouraging smile, squeezing your thighs reassuringly. 

“You just keep changing it up. I can’t…” you struggled for the words, “Everytime you… get on track, I guess– you change up the rhythm. I can’t keep up.” 

Josh bit his cheek and pursed his lips, deep in thought. “Shit, sorry. Okay, I’ll be more… consistent. Can you let me know I’m doing it right though? I think I’m changing ‘cause I don't know if you're– if it's good.”

You nodded, and sat back as he returned to you. This time, when he reconnected with you, the pace was steady as before, and the concentrated stare he held on your face told you he was trying his absolute best to do this right. 

“More… more pressure,” you advised, your instruction quickly followed as Josh's tongue rubbed against you harder. 

You bit your lip to keep at bay your moans, and to your dismay, Josh's mouth left you entirely, leaving behind a cold gust of air. You let out a small, frustrated sigh.

Josh swallowed and wiped his chin, “I need you to make more… noise. Please don’t be shy about it. I just don't know if I’m doing it right.”

“Okay,” you breathed, not expecting him to ask that of you, “I will.” For some reason, letting sounds of pleasure escape you seemed far more intimate. Despite the fact that he was literally rubbing his mouth against your pussy, the whole experience had seemed rather transactional, and you’d tried your best to keep it friendly. But showing him that you were actually aroused and enjoying yourself seemed a step further from ‘friendly’.

Josh dove back in, a lot lower this time as he’d decided to try something new, his mouth directly over your opening. He experimentally circled your entrance with his tongue, glancing up at you frequently, before he slowly nudged it inside. 

“Oh shit,” you whimpered pathetically, the feeling reminding you of what had been missing. Josh pushed it in a little deeper, and curled his tongue so that it dragged along your front walls. His thumb reached up to your clit, eyes watching to make sure he got the right spot as he pressed down, rubbing slow, deliberate circles. 

Unable to help yourself, your hand found his head, fingers kneading into his curls as he worked you perfectly. 

“Fuck Josh, thats it,” you whispered. You couldn’t cum like this, but God did it feel good. A low sound reverberated from Josh’s chest when you tightened your hold on his hair, pushing him a little bit closer to you as you let free a moan. 

Peering down at him again, you noticed one of his hands had abandoned his tight hold on your thigh, and was now preoccupied with palming himself through his jeans. 

Your chest was heaving. It felt so good, and Josh was practically feeding off your energy. Your fingers kneaded into his hair, letting yourself relax completely against him. 

His tongue jerked against your walls for a while longer, thumb continuing to rub circles over your clit, until he slowed, somehow cuing that as good as it felt, you weren't finishing from that alone.

You sighed as he slowed, feeling him slip his tongue out of you and look back up at you, licking his lips. He smiled shyly at the look of you, cheeks red and forehead slightly damp with sweat. Your hair had gone a little messy against the pillow and you stared down at him with a certain look on your face that had his stomach flipping. He leaned back on his knees to sit on his heels.

The way you looked then, he thought, was the most beautiful he’d ever seen you before. 

“Any feedback?” he asked, a little awkward smile playing on his lips. 

“None.”

He smirked proudly at that. “I wanna… I wanna try and make you cum now. Is that okay?” he asked. 

“Isn’t that the whole reason we’re doing this?” you asked, laughing a little.

He shrugged, “Well, I know it takes a while. And it’s not always about finishing. ‘S important to make you– make girls feel good for the… duration.” A blush crept on his cheeks at the slip up, but you ignored it. 

You whispered a small ‘true,’ as Josh fell forward onto his forearms. 

“Okay, take five, or however many times I’ve gone back in now,” he joked, and you giggled a little. The sight of your abdomen bobbing with your laughs had Josh feeling all warm and cozy inside. 

Returning his mouth, Josh spread the wetness from your centre back up through your folds to your clit, eyes darting to you to ensure he was actually there, before shutting his eyes and giving it some much needed attention again. First he licked, and you moaned lightly at the sensation, and then he sucked, which brought your hand back to his curls and your back arching into his touch. 

The tight suction on your clit left, and he left a long sloppy kiss to it again, burying his face in you completely. Unfortunately, it was a bit too deep, and something hard scraped the sensitive flesh.

“Ah teeth!” you yelped with a jolt. 

Josh held your hips steady and smiled up at you sheepishly, “Sorry, accident.”

He dipped back down and continued to lick and suck– mostly at the same time. He experimented with pace for only a moment before finding what suited you best– or, what made you moan the loudest and writhe the most restlessly. 

One of his hands drifted up your inner thigh and his middle finger found your entrance, the tip tracing the edge questioningly. His eyes found you again, and you nodded frantically, brows furrowed in ecstasy. 

“Do it Josh, please. Do it, do it,” you pleaded, your arousal getting the best of you. Slowly, he coated his finger in the same wetness, and eased it gently inside of you. Your walls wrapped around him, warm and tight as you pulled him in. He groaned into you at the sensation, but you didn’t care, pulling his face in closer as you chased the heavenly feeling brewing in your stomach. 

“Another,” you breathed, “Another, Josh.”

Josh didn’t make you ask twice, as he eased his ring finger in beside the other, curling the digits against your walls just as his tongue had, though hitting you deeper and with more strength– more calculation. 

It was perfect. His tongue flicked against your clit quickly, the pace unwavering between his lips that wrapped tightly around you, as if sucking you into his mouth. His fingers moved perfectly inside you, hitting that spot expertly each time. You cried out when he pressed just a little more pressure against your clit with his tongue.

One glance down at him, eyes closed in contentment, mouth on you and fingers in you, brought you to the edge– but the sight of him rubbing his hard-on through his jeans pushed you over it. 

“Yes yes yes yes, don’t stop, Josh I’m– fuck!” you cried, holding Josh's head against you as if he were leaving, hips bucking against his face. You were sure he was suffocating against you, but he didnt stop, groaning into you as you practically rode his face. 

You came down slowly, though still floated in a haze of pleasure. Josh slowed his movements in sync with your pulsing walls, contracting against his fingers. 

Being in this high of sexual euphoria was dangerous, like lacking sobriety and spilling your guts without a second thought. You realised that when you heard yourself ask Josh to take his pants off. 

His head whipped up immediately, meeting your eyes in a wide look of disbelief. “What?”

No longer being touched, your rationality sent a flush up your neck. You wish you could have taken it back, maintained the somewhat hidden nature of your activity, and continued to allow you both to pretend that you were only doing this for Josh’s… sexual education. Alas, he had heard you, and he was awaiting a response. There was no turning back now.

“Your jeans. Take them off… please?” You were desperate at this point.

What the fuck were you thinking? 

Josh swallowed and clumsily pulled away from you, shuffling off the bed and onto his legs, wobblier than he was expecting. His eyes remained locked on you as he fumbled with his belt, fingers trembling against the silver buckle. Once it was unclipped, his fly was undone in a flash and his jeans were practically ripped down his legs. He stumbled with the fabric around his ankles for a moment, and you watched amusedly from the bed as he hopped on one foot, fighting the jeans off his body. 

“For fucks sake,” he muttered, tearing them away from his body before straightening up. He stared at you, now only in his– very tented– underwear. His chest was heaving in anticipation– in excitement. 

Taking a chance that you knew you shouldn’t have, you slowly crawled off the bed, to stand in front of him, and lowered yourself to your knees. Josh lost his breath at your movement, mouth agape as he breathed heavily, hands hovering by his sides.

You placed one hand on the front of his thigh gently, and looked up at him for a go ahead. 

“Holy shit,” he whispered, seemingly out of breath. 

With a sudden burst of confidence, you smiled a little, “Can I… return the favour?”

Josh swallowed thickly and tore his eyes away from yours, no longer able to stare at you without making a fool of himself. He instead stared at the wall ahead. “Yes. But you don't have to if–” he choked out, breath caught when you slid your palm from his thigh to his hard bulge. 

His breath shuddered in a voiced whine, one hand steadying himself on your shoulder. 

“We shouldn't be doing this,” he advised as you squeezed him through the thin fabric of his navy boxers. 

“I know,” you agreed, taking the waistband between your fingers and sliding his boxers past his hips and to his ankles. His cock sprang free, hard and swollen, bouncing in the air a little only inches away from your face. 

Josh cursed as you exposed him, running a hand through his already disheveled curls in a feeble attempt to ground himself. You took a moment to study him, eyes taking in his pink, swollen head, the same shade of pink as his lips. He curved to the left a little, and he was thick and beautiful as ever. 

You looked up at him through your lashes, “Can I?” 

Josh's mouth hung open as he nodded desperately, drunk with desire. “I’m not gonna– I won't be able to last… I’m already– fuck. I can’t hold on for long–”

You cut him off, gently shushing him as you leaned forward and placed your pouted lips against the head of his cock. It was already a little damp, tasting faintly of pre-cum, and you happily coated your lips with the substance. You didn’t get much further before Josh's hands found your top, tugging the collar gently. 

“Please… off?” he pleaded. You nodded and pulled your shirt up over your head, Joshs helping hands pulling it off your arms eagerly. Though wearing a bra, Josh ogled at your breasts shamelessly, eyes wide and mouth still parted. The lustful look on his face was absolutely sinful. 

You brought your mouth back to his aching cock, wrapping your lips around him and lowering yourself only slightly, so that the head was completely enveloped between your lips. Josh moaned and brought a hand forth to the back of your head, but quickly pulled it away anxiously. 

His attempt to remain respectful while you were on your knees for him made you smile. You reached back and took his hand in yours, pulling it to rest against your head.

“Oh God,” he whispered. You popped your lips off him and ran your tongue down his length, leaving wet sloppy kisses in your wake to wetten his skin, and his thighs trembled at the contact. 

You brought your hand up to the length and pumped him twice, coating his cock in your spit, before taking him into your mouth as best as you could. Your hand held whatever you couldn't fit, and you wrapped your lips around him tightly, conscious to keep your teeth out of the way. 

“Oh– fuck,” Josh moaned. He called your name as his fist tightened in your hair, not pulling or pushing, just holding on. You were dimly aware of a gust of air that followed the removal of his own shirt, and you peered up at his body, fully naked, glowing, and as beautiful as ever. 

As you began to pump Josh into your mouth, you slid your other hand from his hip up his abdomen until it was resting just below his sternum. He wasted no time in pressing his own hand against yours, holding it there, against his heaving body. 

“I– I can’t… fuck me. I’m gonna cum, I’m sorry! I–” Josh whimpered, body trembling. You eagerly continued your movements, knowing he’d been waiting long enough for his own release, revelling in the way he fell apart at your hands. 

A string of explicit curses left his lips in whines and moans and his legs trembled, hips tight in an attempt not to buck, before you felt him cum inside your mouth, warm and salty. You eased your movements, letting him finish while he whispered incoherent incantations under his breath, before you pulled yourself off him, swallowing his release and smiling up at him shyly. 

When your eyes found Josh’s, he held you in a stare so enraptured in awe, that your own breathing stuttered. In a moment, Josh had dropped himself to his knees in front of you, face so close that you could feel his breath fan against your cheek. 

His eyes darted between your own, and he wore an expression of pained adoration. 

“Can I please kiss you?” he asked, fingers reaching up to trace your jaw. You only got in one nod before his lips came crashing into yours. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and he on yours, as you both let your passion take over completely. Kissing Josh was familiar, and you found yourself in your prom dress again, Josh in his tux that was slightly too big for him, kissing in the dark parking lot in a place where no one could see. 

When you pulled away for air, Josh stared at you as if you’d hung the moon. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he whispered, tongue gracing his bottom lip as if he couldn’t stop tasting you. 

“Me too,” you admitted, blushing manically. “Will you stay the night?” you asked bravely. 

Josh nodded quickly. “Yes– yeah, of course.”

With a shy smile, Josh stood, and helped you stand too, now a little awkward as you stood before each other completely naked, save for your bra. Josh cupped his softening dick, anxiously looking for his boxers in the mess of the room, and you shamesly watched his round, perky ass as he bent over to retrieve them, before slipping them up his toned thighs and over his pelvis. 

You retrieved a pair of underwear and some light pajamas to wear for the night, finding it amusing how Josh maintained a respectful gaze as you changed, eyes on the floor as if he hadn't just brought you to orgasm with his mouth. 

“We should probably talk about… everything that just happened,” you suggested as you stepped into your small ensuite to brush your teeth. 

Josh followed behind you and stood against your back as you stared into the bathroom mirror, resting his head on your shoulder. “We should, but can we wait until tomorrow?” he pouted.

You smiled and coated your toothbrush and the spare he always left in your bathroom for emergencies with toothpaste and shoved it into his mouth. 

You both brushed your teeth in silence, stealing silly glances at each other in the mirror and giggling around your toothbrushes. This was the most absurd situation you’d ever found yourself in. 

Once done, you made your way to your bed. Josh had stayed over before, and you'd certainly shared a bed before too, but never had just been only in his boxers doing so. Never had you gone down on each other either, but there you were. 

Josh slipped under the covers beside you, and waited until you were situated before he switched off your bedside lamp. You could feel the heat of his body, not far from yours, and cautiously reached out your hand for him to hold. 

He took it quickly, and squeezed comfortingly. You turned on your side, mimicking his position so that you were facing him. Josh smiled a little, the outlines of his face illuminated by the moonlight.

“Whatever happens tomorrow, I…I would really like to, um– to do that with you again… If you would like to, too.”

You smiled lazily at him, “I’d like that.”

His expression lifted, “So I did good?” 

You shrugged with a sarcastic lift of your brows, “You got there in the end.”

Josh shuffled closer, “Hmm… I guess we’ll need to try again then. ‘Got there in the end’ isn’t quite the response I was going for,” he teased.

You smiled, “A bit more practice couldn’t hurt.”

꧂

Tag List: @allof--mylove @frogkiszka @gvfvanfleet @lightsofthe-living-gvf

Complete the google form here to be added to my permanent taglist for any future fics!

[samfkiszka]

Movies

★・・・・・・★

This is how it feels to be in love, This is life from above

or a short boyfriend josh x fem reader

Word Count: 3,295

WARNINGS: SMUT!! 18+ ONLY! Oral (male receiving), dry humping, unprotected PIV sex (wrap it before you tap it i guess), sub!josh/switch!josh, handcuffs, a little bit of denial?, if i’m missing anything let me know!

a/n: okay it’s short and probably mediocre, but i’ve been so extremely busy lately. paper bag ch 4 is OTW! i am nearly done, i promise.

★・・・・・・★

You press your body flush against him, relishing the soft whimpers muffled by your clashing lips. His hands roam against the expanse of your back, gripping the soft flesh needily. Your head is spinning, intoxicated by nothing but Josh. Every facet of him was invading your senses; the feel of his hands, the smell of his cologne, the sweet noises you were managing to elicit from your position above him. He ground his hips up, pushing his hard-on against you in a desperate attempt to feel any sort of friction. You were seconds away from giving in, unbuttoning his jeans and touching him only the way you were allowed to; the way that would have had him whining beautifully underneath you.

Too bad you didn’t have enough time.

You were cut off by the shrill sound of a phone ringing beside you, the ringtone you had specifically set for Jake– Josh’s twin brother. Reluctantly pulling away from Josh, who was quick to try and tug you back to him, you answered the phone with an exasperated huff.

“Hello?” You breathe, trying your best to sound calm and collected.

“Where the fuck are you guys? We’ve been banging on the door for ten minutes,” Jake chuckled, not sounding the least bit irritated at your lack of awareness and hospitality.

“Fuck,” you mumble, turning to Josh. Eyes blown, cheeks flushed, lips swollen, hair in disarray– he was truly a sight to behold. “Be there in a second.” You hang up before Jake can respond, tossing the phone on the bed so hard it tumbles to the ground with a thunk.

“They’re here.”

“Who?” Josh pants, still greedily exploring your body.

“Your brothers,” you grumbled, pushing off of Josh.

“Huh?” He hums, not entirely focused on the words coming out of your mouth.

“Movie night,” you explain, reminding him of the event he scheduled earlier in the day. You glance in the mirror for a moment, fixing your hair to the best of your ability. You turn to face Josh, drinking in his disheveled appearance, “Better fix yourself up, sweet boy,” you warn, all too aware of how relentlessly his brother’s would tease him if they saw him like this.

“Tell them to go away,” Josh complains, propping himself up on his elbows, “C’mon, I- I’ve been so good, I just wanna touch you.”

“Sorry, angel, you're the one who invited them.” You ignore him, racing to the front of your apartment to let your somewhat unwelcome guests in. bc

Sam is still banging against the door when you tear it open, grinning from ear to ear when he spots you.

“Fucking finally,” he laughs, “What took you so long?”

“Um, got caught up doing something,” you mumble, glancing behind you to spot Josh sauntering in.

“Yeah, there’s something right there,” Danny teases, eyeing Josh.

Jake shoves in, rolling his eyes and tossing a pizza down onto your coffee table. He plops down on the couch, grabbing the remote so assuredly it was like he owned the place; he nearly did with the amount of time he spent over here.

“Have a seat,” You sigh sarcastically, shooting an apologetic glance over to Josh.

Not like you have any reason to feel bad, he was the one who invited them earlier. But he was also right– he had been good, he always was. He did deserve a reward, for you to make him feel good.

Although, you did enjoy the idea of watching him squirm all night.

“Decide on a movie?” You ask casually, sitting down in the squished armchair next to Josh. His breath hitches at the sudden contact, tensing almost immediately.

“Nope,” Jake answers, popping the “p”.

“He wants to watch The Princess Bride again,” Sam grumbles.

“No way, we’ve seen that a million times,” Danny complains.

You let their banter fade into background noise, knowing full well neither you or Josh were capable of paying any sort of attention to a movie right now. He turns to face you, his face neary pained as he studies your features.

“Sorry,” you frown teasingly, running your hand gently up and down his arm.

He clears his throat nervously, goosebumps prickling his skin where you were touching.

“That sound good guys?” Jake’s voice snaps you back to reality.

“Huh?” Josh coughs, eyes darting around the room anxiously.

“Treasure Island.”

“Y-yeah, sounds fine.”

Jake laughs, flicking the pizza box open and pressing play on the movie. Truthfully, it didn’t matter what movie was playing. Your eyes were squarely on Josh’s face, while his were glazed over in his attempt to pay attention to the screen.

Maybe it was fucked up, thinking about him like this when his brothers were sitting only two feet away. Images of pinning him under you, handcuffing him to the headboard. Denying him release just to hear him beg for what he wants in his sweet, lilting voice. Driving him crazy, refusing to let him touch you when that’s the only thing he ever really wants. It was so easy to work him up, to have him melting in your hands.

The movie continued to play, enrapturing the attention of your now fully unwelcome houseguests. Josh shifted subtly, pressing the throw pillow he had been clenching against his crotch in an extremely non-conspicuous manner.

“You okay?” You whisper lovingly, trying not to garner too much attention.

“Hm? Yeah, fine,” he strains, shifting against you once again.

“You sure? You look a little…” You trail off teasingly, scratching your nails against his arm.

“No, m’good,” his voice cracks, betraying his true feelings.

“Poor baby,” you coo, leaning your head onto his shoulder. His breath hitches, and he closes his eyes, cursing softly under his breath.

Scenes flash on the screen but it didn’t matter to either of you. Sam talked loudly over the movie, earning annoyed groans from both Jake and Danny, yet neither of you seemed to care. The pizza dwindled away, but food was the last thing on your mind.

No, all you cared about in this moment was Josh; touching him, kissing him, worshiping him. And you could tell that was the only thing on his mind too. The way his chest heaved, his cheeks flushed, the way he chewed his perfect bottom lip; he was so far gone you couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.

What felt like an eternity later, the movie was over and the guys were clamoring to start another.

“No!” Josh shouts, surprising nearly everyone.

They all turn to face him, faces expressing a mixture of worry and shock.

“Sorry, I just- I mean- stomachache,” He stammers, eyes downcast to the floor.

“You okay, man?” Jake asked, laughing tentatively.

“He’s fine.” You rub his back soothingly, playing up the bit, “We ate at that one place earlier, I think the chicken had gone bad,” you explain, pulling on the memory you had of Jake locking himself up in the bathroom for twenty four hours after eating at a specific restaurant downtown.

“Oh, yikes.” Jake scratches his face, brows furrowed in concern, “Well… feel better man.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him,” you assure, glancing at Josh’s pouty face.

“Sure you will.” Sam rolls his eyes, standing up with a grunt and stretching dramatically, “We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Hope you feel better, Josh!” Danny shouts over Sam’s shoulder as they begin shoving out the door. Jake scoffs, shooting the two of you a more than knowing look.

Once the door clicks shut it’s impressive how quickly Josh is latching on to you. His hands clutching your sides, his mouth pressing hurried kisses to your neck.

“Please-” He chokes out, his voice cracking.

You shush him, petting his hair in an attempt to calm him down. You loved giving Josh what he wanted— he was more than deserving most of the time. Truly, all he wanted was to please you. But a tiny part of you, one that you tried to keep at bay, reveled in denying him. In refusing his wishes to touch you, kiss you, make you feel good.

He grabs your hand, tugging you towards the bedroom and a little voice in your brain reminds you of a certain object you had stowed away in a shoebox under your bed. A pair of handcuffs that you had initially bought as a joke— before you realized just how much you got off on using them on Josh.

You follow behind, letting him have his moment, letting him think that finally he was going to get the release his body had been screaming for all night.

He pulls you onto the bed, lips desperately seeking out your own as the two of you crash together in a heap of tangled limbs. His touch is urgent, exploring every dip and curve of your body like he had never touched you before. You pull back, breathless and flushed.

“Get the cuffs.”

His face falls, a pout gracing his perfect features, “Why?”

You stare at him silently, trying your best to appear firm and demanding. It was never easy with him.

“Because I said so.”

“But…” He’s fully frowning now, obviously hurt that you’re adding yet another obstacle separating the two of you, “I just… Mama, please, let me make you feel good. You know it’s all I wanna do.”

“I know, angel,” you hum, running your hands through his curls, “Don’t you trust me?”

He nods, still frowning, still silently refusing to do what you asked. You press a gentle kiss to his forehead, drinking in the sweet whine that slips past his swollen lips. He hesitates, but slowly lifts off the bed, reaching underneath and then pulling out the orange shoebox. He flips open the lid, revealing a wide array of toys, before pulling out the silvery handcuffs.

“Good boy,” you praise as he hands you the cuffs. He can act like he doesn’t want to wear them all he wants, but the way he’s straining against his jeans… you knew him too well to accept that this wasn’t something he wanted, “Do you remember our safe word?” You whisper, smiling when he nods enthusiastically.

“Undress for me, sweet boy.”

He rips off his clothes in record time, leaving only his boxers on and tossing the others into a random corner of your shared room. He lays down without question, lifting his hands up to the baseboard— he was familiar with this routine.

You crawl up his body slowly, tantalizingly, peppering kisses along the bare expanse of his torso. You shift into a sitting position, leaning over and clicking the cuffs loosely against his wrists. He tugs them once, showing you that he’s fully locked up. You shimmy down his body once more, lining your face up with clothed crotch. You press a kiss to the painfully obvious bulge that’s straining against his black boxers.

His hips buck up so hard he slams into your face, quickly muttering out an apology as he relentlessly grinds against nothing in a desperate attempt to feel any sort of relief.

“God… p- please touch me.”

“I am touching you,” You mumble, running your hands along his body, finally halting at the waistband of his boxers.

“You know what I mean,” he whines, staring at you so intently you suddenly feel embarrassed.

“Nuh uh.” You shake your head, “Use your words, angel.”

“Please, don’t make me say it.”

You roll your eyes, sliding the boxers down his legs slowly. Your mouth nearly starts to water when he springs from the confines he had been straining against all day. Precum is already leaking from his painfully red tip, spreading against his bare skin.

You lean down, maintaining eye contact as you lick slowly up the length of his cock. He inhales sharply, biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood from the looks of it. He holds the breath, watching as you take him fully into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks around him.

His hips instinctively force themselves up, causing you to gag roughly around him. A string of barely audible apologies slip past his beautiful lips, as he strains against the cuffs, angry red indents sure to appear on his wrists if he kept up like this. Your eyes water, tears threatening to spill past your waterline. Usually, you’d punish him for this, but you figured he had been through enough today. After all, he was being good.

Lilting whimpers fill the empty room, sending heat straight to your aching core. You grind your hips against the mattress, desperate for anything, anything that would hold you over while you continued to work Josh up. Just the thought of finally feeling him after waiting all day was enough to make you moan around him.

“F-fuck,” he whined, pulling so hard against the cheap cuffs you were sure they’d snap in two, “I’m gonna cum if you keep that up.”

You pull off with a pop, wiping the spit from your mouth, your cheeks tinged pink and your eyes watering. His dick slaps audibly against his stomach, earning another moan from him. Pulling your shirt off slowly, maintaining eye contact, you finally reveal the lacy red bra you had been dying to show him all day. He groaned at the sight, his hands grasping at the air in front of them as he silently begged to touch you.

“Been waiting all day to show you this… bought it just for you.”

“Jesus Christ,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

You stand up, shimmying your pants down at a tantalizing speed, making sure he fully took in the matching pair of panties. He stifles another delicious noise, practically humping the air. God, he was so pathetically desperate, and it was getting harder to keep up your act. All you wanted to do was give him exactly what he wanted. You bend down, giving him a clear shot of your ass as you find the keys for the cuffs.

Striding over to him with a grin, you slip the key into the lock, letting him free. He sighs happily, hands immediately pulling you in as he presses kisses to the exposed skin of your chest.

“Thank you,” he practically pants, his hands greedily tugging at you.

“Of course, angel,” you coo, sliding your hands into his curls, “you’ve been so good today.”

He smiles warmly at your praise, staring up at you sweetly. You slowly pull away from him, drinking in his dejected huff as you take away the one thing he had been begging for all day.

It wasn’t long before he was gripping at you again, his hands flying to your waist as you straddle his body. His chest heaved, the skin flushed pink. You nearly collided into him at the speed he tugged you down, your lips crashing together in his needy attempt to feel all of you.

His hands slid up your back, undoing the clasp of your bra and throwing into a dejected corner of the room. Your panties were next, torn with his clumsy attempt to rip them off.

“Those were expensive.” You pull back, pouting as you stare at the ripped pair of lacy underwear.

“I’ll buy you a new pair, I’ll buy you twenty new pairs, I don’t care,” he breathes, trying to tug you back down. He leans up, trying to catch you in kiss, and you grant him a chaste one, before pulling away.

You lift your hips up, using the hand that wasn’t holding you up to grab his dick, lining it up with your entrance. You slide it through your folds, enjoying the way his breath hitches at the feel of your wetness smearing against the tip.

“Jesus, fuck, holy—” A string of whines and expletives spew out from Josh as you slowly sink down, feeling him stretch you out. No matter how often you had him like this, you could never fully get used to how overwhelmingly large he was. You lean forward, resting your forehead against his as you breathe, trying to adjust to his size.

“You okay?” He whispers, pressing a kiss to the side of your face.

“Mhm.” You nod, inhaling deeply.

This is how it always happened. You tried to act tough, act like you were in charge. Would spend so long riling him up, pretending like you were in total control. Yet the second Josh really touched you, the moment he was inside you, it’s like your brain went empty. All you could think about was him. You felt… the only way to describe it was stupid. Dumb. Drunk on nothing but him.

“Want me to move?”

You nod again, not trusting your own voice.

He gently grabs your hips, slowly bringing you up, grinning when you gasp at the sensation.

How quickly the two of you had switched, how fast the dynamic changed, it always left your head spinning.

He lifts up into you, paying close attention to your facial features, always worried he’d hurt you. Once he had deemed it safe— and judging by the lazy grin that had plastered itself on your face it was— he decided to move again, picking up his pace ever so slightly.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chant, whining as he begins to pound upwards into you.

He decided he was tired of this game, finally flipping you over and taking what he wants. With him pinning you down this time, you take this opportunity to use what little power you have left by locking your legs behind him, forcing him in even deeper.

“Christ, you- so fucking good,” is all he can manage as he continues to thrust sloppily, his hands roving every curve and dip of your body. Eventually the rest on your breasts, kneading the soft flesh a little too roughly. He bends down, catching you in a rushed kiss that cuts off the near constant stream of whines and moans he was forcing out of you. He leaves a trail of hurried, wet kisses down your neck, biting and nipping his own marks into the sensitive skin. Leaning back up, he glances down at his work, a wide array of pink and purple blooms appearing on your skin— matching the now bruised circumference of his wrists. Your nails dig into his back, scratching so hard he winces, stalling inside you.

“Fucking hell, so close,” he rasps, his hand snaking down to rub quick circles on your clit. The added pressure makes your head spin. You squeeze your eyes shut, unable to keep them open no matter how badly you want to take in his fucked out expression.

“Me too,” you choke out, chanting his name like a prayer as he continues his motions, every nerve of your body craving him like a drug.

You feel the pressure in your stomach build up, threatening to push you right over the edge any moment. Josh can tell too, the way you begin to absentmindedly squeeze around him making his movements even sloppier. Eventually you fall, screaming his name loud enough that even the neighbors three doors down could’ve heard it. He works you through it, faltering ever so slightly as he begins to reach his own climax.

“Where do you want me to-” he begins, trying his best to keep moving.

You keep your legs locked around him, pulling him in closer, “Inside.”

A strangled noise tears through him as he cums inside you, the feeling causing you to shake a bit. He flops down on top of you, gasping for air.

“Maybe we should invite your brothers over movie nights more often,” you suggest, an intoxicated giggle playing on your lips as you stroke his back to calm him down.

“Yeah… maybe we should.”

[asacredthebread]

Tension & Temptation

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Josh x F!Reader - 18+

𝚂𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚢.

Warnings/Themes : Vibrators, Bottom Josh, Begging

an; HEHEHHEHEHEHE

wc; 6.2k

taglist: @musicislove3389 @peaceloveunitygvf @lilbitx @jazzyfigz @sarahbethgvf @fleetingjake @cheersdannyx2

You rummaged through the room, your fingers grazing the familiar piles of clothes strewn haphazardly across the floor like fallen leaves in an autumn park. The day had plunged into an unexpected chill, and the thin sweater you wore clung to you uselessly, allowing the cold air to seep in with every gust. You could almost hear the whispering echoes of winter curling around the window panes, urging you to find something warmer. An image of one of Josh’s hoodies danced in your mind—a soft, oversized garment that would cocoon you in warmth and familiarity. Just the thought of it gave you a glimmer of comfort, and you started your search with renewed determination.

The room was a mix of organized chaos and cozy clutter. A stack of books about art and philosophy leaned precariously against a lamp, a testament to Josh’s eclectic taste. Piles of laundry sat waiting for attention, a blend of colors and textures that made it difficult to remember what was clean and what was not. You smiled to yourself as you navigated the mess, knowing that it was a reflection of both of you—carefree yet somehow content in the unkemptness of your shared life.

You approached his nightstand, a small wooden piece that had seen better days but somehow felt like a steadfast companion through late-night talks and lazy mornings. With a slight tug, you pulled open the top drawer, half-expecting to find a hoodie nestled among the odds and ends. But instead, your fingers brushed against something unexpected—a sleek vibrator, glimmering softly under the dim glow of the bedside lamp. It caught you off guard, forcing you to freeze momentarily as your heart quickened, your breath catching in your throat.

The realization that this was something Josh must have purchased for himself stirred a multitude of emotions within you. At first, surprise washed over you, followed quickly by a deep sense of intrigue. The implications of his choice spiraled through your mind, leading you to images of him exploring his own desires in the solitude of your home, perhaps even thinking of you. A curious mix of embarrassment and excitement fluttered in your chest as you held the vibrator in your palm, contemplating the intimacy of the moment.

You allowed your fingers to trace the contours of the object, feeling the smooth surface against your skin. It was undeniably personal, a tangible piece of his world that revealed something deeper—an aspect of Josh that was both thrilling and vulnerable. What had possessed him to buy it? Was he merely curious, or was there a part of him that hoped for something more? Questions tumbled through your mind, twisting and turning like autumn leaves in a brisk breeze.

The frigid air swirled around you, and suddenly you remembered why you had begun your search in the first place. The cold pressed against you more insistently now, a sharp reminder that you needed to find that hoodie soon. With one last thoughtful glance at the vibrator, you made a decision—your curiosity could wait. You set it down gently on the nightstand, as if it were a secret you didn’t quite know how to share just yet.

You turned your focus back to the task at hand, digging deeper into the drawer. After sifting through some old receipts and a few loose batteries, your fingers finally brushed against the familiar fabric of one of Josh’s hoodies. A grin spread across your face as you pulled it out with triumph. The fabric, soft and inviting, smelled like him—like home. You shrugged it on, feeling the warmth begin to envelop you, soothing the chill that had been creeping into your bones.

With the hoodie securely wrapped around you, you made your way to the couch, the soft fabric trailing slightly as you moved. You sank deep into the cushions, which welcomed you like an old friend. You settled in, a feeling of comfort washing over you as you nestled into the corner of the couch, pulling the hoodie tighter around you. The world outside seemed distant, the cacophony of the cold muted by the blanket of warmth you had found.

Next to you, the vibrator sat as a curious companion—a secret between you and Josh. You glanced at it, wondering what he had intended when he brought it into your lives. Perhaps he’d meant it for pleasure, for exploration, a tool of intimacy meant to enhance something beautiful. It ignited your imagination, drawing up visions of laughter and whispered conversations in the dim light of your shared space. As your heart played with the possibilities, you leaned back, allowing yourself to drift into thoughts of him and the home you'd built together.

All that was left now was to wait, and perhaps to unpack the thoughts swirling within you when Josh stepped through the door, back from wherever he had wandered in the early evening. The anticipation hung in the air like a sweet fragrance, mixed with the warmth of the hoodie and the unusual promise of the hidden toy resting close by. You nestled into the cushions, wrapped in the cozy embrace of familiarity, eager for the conversation that would unfold when he arrived.

The sound of the front door creaking open broke the serene stillness of the evening, and your heart gave an anticipatory leap. You shifted slightly on the couch, adjusting your position and brushing a stray lock of hair behind your ear. The familiar cadence of footsteps made its way through the small apartment, the unmistakable sound of Josh returning home. Your stomach fluttered with a mingling of excitement and nerves; it had been a long day, and seeing him felt like the perfect remedy to any lingering chill in the air.

“Hey there,” Josh called out, his voice full of warmth and familiarity. The moment you caught sight of him stepping into the living room, your heart swelled. There he was, with his unruly brown mullet framed by the soft glow of the lamp. His curls were tousled, hinting at the hustle and bustle of the day, and his brown eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. You couldn’t help but smile—a spark of joy flickered within you, fueled by seeing him after a long afternoon of waiting.

He swept into the room, and without missing a beat, he moved to your side, slipping onto the couch and bringing with him an air of comfort. As soon as he settled beside you, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on your cheek, a feather-light touch that sent a warmth radiating through you. It was a gesture so simple yet laden with affection, reminding you of all the little ways he made you feel cherished.

“How was your day?” he asked, his voice low and inviting, genuinely interested. He studied your face, and his gaze traveled to the hoodie draping around you with a playful smile painting his lips. “Is that one of my hoodies? You know I’ll need it back, right?”

You chuckled softly, a warm blush creeping across your cheeks at the thought of being wrapped in something so intimately his. “It got cold,” you admitted, sinking deeper into the fabric. “So I decided to rummage through the wardrobe to find something warm. And, well… I found a special little toy of yours.”

At the mention of the vibrator, you felt the atmosphere shift subtly. Josh’s expression morphed into one of perplexity, his brows furrowing slightly as he processed your words. He shifted in his seat, stammering just a bit, “Oh, uh—well, you see, I didn’t think you would find that—”

You shook your head, cutting him off gently but with an amused glint in your eye. “It’s okay,” you said, your tone laced with reassurance. “I just didn’t expect to find it there.”

The nervousness etched on his face was almost endearing, the way his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of brown. He glanced away, pretending to study the wall as he fumbled for the right words. “I was just curious, you know? Thought it might be fun—”

Before he could spiral into an explanation that might only make him feel more anxious, you decided to shift the mood slightly, hoping to lighten the air thickening with uncertainty. “Actually,” you said, a playful tone creeping into your voice, “I thought it might be fun to… try it?”

His eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, he seemed at a loss for words. The stammering had reached a new level. “W-Wait, what? You mean, like, right now?” His brows shot up, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, a sound that cut through the awkwardness like a warm breeze.

Your words hung in the air, a spark igniting between you both. You could see the wheels turning in his head as the implications sunk in. He opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it again, biting his lip as a mixture of confusion and curiosity played across his features. You watched him closely, the way his posture shifted as he leaned against the couch, interest piquing despite the initial shock.

“Yes, right now,” you urged, a hint of teasing lacing your tone. “You don’t have to be shy about it. We share everything else, right?” You could feel your heart racing, exhilaration bubbling up within you as the conversation took a daring turn.

The room seemed to encapsulate the tension, a blend of humor and vulnerability. Josh shuffled nervously beside you, the contradictions in his expression—surprise, anxiety, and a dawning excitement—making it impossible to look away. It was a rare look, a glimpse into his openness, igniting a spark of anticipation and adventure.

“Uh, okay, but…” He hesitated, glancing at the vibrator, then back to you, caught between disbelief and intrigue. “I mean, I didn’t think you’d ever want to—”

You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Josh, it’s us. I’m just saying it might be fun.” You watched as his expression changed—somewhere between insecurity and intrigue—as he processed your words, turning the moment electric.

The warmth of the hoodie snug around you felt like a shield against the chill, but now, the heat rising between you two seemed to quell the cold just as well. You could feel the tension hang in the air, the thrill of exploring uncharted territory together. You were already caught up in the moment, your heart racing at the thought of stepping into this new dynamic.

There was an infinite possibility lying before you both, the playful challenge of bridging that gap between intimacy and exploration. And as you sat there next to him, the anticipation became palpable, weaving its way into the very fabric of the evening, grounding you in the knowledge that together, you could navigate this curious little adventure.

A nervous energy radiated from Josh, palpable and electric, as he processed your proposition. His eyes darted to the vibrator and back to you, revealing a blend of excitement and vulnerability that made your heart race. The hesitant smile that played at the corners of his mouth only deepened the intrigue; he was a man so often confident yet now, in this moment, the tables had turned. You could feel an urge to explore this side of him, to lead him into this new realm where boundaries could be redefined.

“Wait, are you serious?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with hesitation that only added to the tension. The way he buckled slightly under your gaze, lips parting as if he were about to say more, was undeniably captivating. Despite the uncertainty flickering in his brown eyes, there was something else lurking beneath the surface—a spark of thrill and curiosity just waiting to be unleashed.

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly, the sound light and playful, a testament to the atmosphere crackling around you. “Oh, I’m very serious,” you teased, your voice low and sultry, a hint of mischief gleaming in your expression.

Before he could comprehend your intentions fully, you leaned forward, using your body to gently but assertively push him back against the plush cushions of the couch. The suddenness caught him off guard, and his wide eyes betrayed a mix of surprise and exhilaration. You were met with a moment of resistance, but it quickly melted away as he surrendered to the moment, enveloped by the softness of the couch.

There was a delicious thrill surging through you as you hovered above him, your body poised over his, commanding yet inviting. You could feel the slight tremor in his muscles, an almost submissive quality to his demeanor as he glanced up at you, an eager anticipation flickering in his gaze. His brown curls framed his face, accentuating the mixture of uncertainty and willingness that made your heart flutter.

With deliberate slowness, you began to explore him, your fingers trailing down his thigh, a featherlight touch over the fabric of his pants. You traced a path upward, savoring the way his muscles tensed beneath your fingertips. Every subtle shift of his body sent a thrill of satisfaction coursing through you. You watched, captivated, as he bit down on his lip, seemingly torn between his nervousness and the undeniable desire blooming in the air around you.

As your hand continued its exploration, you leaned closer, planting soft kisses along his neck, trailing your lips against the warmth of his skin. The sensation sent shivers down his spine, and you could feel the slight hitch in his breath each time your mouth met his neck, a blend of sweetness and vulnerability unfolding beneath your touch. “You like this?” you murmured softly against his skin, your breath warm and tantalizing.

“Yeah, I—uh, I think so,” he stammered, his voice thick and layered with the heady mix of excitement and uncertainty. The way he wriggled slightly beneath you, seeking both reassurance and the pleasure of your lingering kisses, was a sight you couldn’t resist. You smiled to yourself, feeling empowered by the effect you had on him, a wave of confidence bolstering your own desires.

Gently, you pulled back for just a moment, allowing yourself to drink in the sight of him: cheeks flushed, eyes glimmering with an intensity that left no doubt of the allure he found in your assertiveness. The tension in the room was tangible, thick with the promise of what was to come. “Just relax,” you whispered, leaning in to press another tender kiss just below his ear, causing him to shiver in response.

You could feel him gradually surrendering, his nervous energy shifting to something far more tantalizing. He leaned towards you, seeking your warmth, and with each kiss, you instinctively picked up the cadence of his breathing—uneven but growing steadier as you continued your explorations. You reveled in the power of guiding this moment, cherishing the way he leaned into your touch, encouraging you with every soft gasp and sigh.

With every kiss along his neck and every slow caress of your hand, you built a world of intimacy that felt both intoxicating and exhilarating. The couch enveloped you both in a sanctuary, a space where the outside world faded away, and only the two of you remained. It felt liberating to be able to explore this dynamic and allow him to embrace this more submissive role entirely, surrendering himself to the unfolding possibilities.

As you stroked him slowly over his pants, the tension that bubbled beneath the surface began to simmer into something deeper. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the way his body responded instinctively to your touch. The trust building between you was palpable, a silent promise manifesting in the sweet intimacy of the moment.

You continued kissing him softly, allowing your lips to explore every inch of his neck, enjoying how his breathing deepened with each gentle caress. In this shared space, you felt both powerful and tender, every kiss and touch laced with a shared connection that transcended mere intimacy. You knew that this was just the beginning of something beautifully uncharted, a dance of discovery waiting to unfold.

The world around you faded further into the background as you surrendered to the heat of the moment, both lost in the embrace of vulnerability and the thrill that surged between you. Time seemed to stretch infinitely, every second laden with promise, and the anticipation crackled like electricity, igniting a desire for more as you continued to explore the uncharted territory together.

You could feel the moment the switch flipped in Josh’s mind. The tentative nervousness gave way to something deeper as he surrendered fully to the moment, the weight of your presence settling over him like a warm blanket. His breath hitched, turning uncertainty into eager anticipation that crackled in the air surrounding you both. The inherent trust he had in you seemed to stitch together an unbreakable bond, allowing him to embrace this newfound submission, diving headfirst into the depths of intimacy.

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the transformation, a sound sweetened by the intimacy of the moment. Leaning closer, you reached up, trailing your fingers along his neck before tangling them gently in his curly hair, tugging just enough to elicit a soft gasp from his lips. The sound was intoxicating, a primal reaction that made your heart race even faster. It felt like you had found a hidden button, one that turned him from hesitant and unsure to completely pliant beneath your touch.

“Look at you,” you teased lightly, your voice playful as you held him in your grip, guiding his gaze as he looked up at you with those wide brown eyes filled with a mix of longing and submission. “You’re doing so well...”

A low, involuntary moan escaped his lips as you tugged on his hair just slightly harder, and you reveled in the power of your actions. There was something mesmerizing about the way he surrendered entirely, how his body responded with a hunger that matched your own. Each flicker of pleasure on his face added fuel to the fire of your intentions, igniting an insatiable desire to explore every inch of him.

With a confident smile, you let your hand drift lower, moving toward the waistband of his pants. You could feel the heat radiating off him as your fingers danced along the fabric, teasingly lingering just long enough to build the tension. Time seemed to stretch as you took your sweet time, savoring the way his breath quickened in anticipation, an unspoken request hanging in the air.

Finally, your fingers slipped inside, the soft fabric yielding beneath your touch. You were met with warmth and firmness, and pleasure rippled through you both at that instant. His breath hitched again, deeper this time as you cautiously wrapped your hand around him, the slightest pressure eliciting another barely contained moan. You moved slowly, deliberately, feeling him arch slightly into your touch, leaning against you as if to urge you on.

He bit his lip, and you noticed the way his brow furrowed in concentration and desire. Just knowing the effect you had on him pushed you further, igniting your own excitement as you squeezed him gently, exploring the contours of him over the fabric. “You like that?” you murmured, your voice low and sultry, coaxing him to revel in the pleasure you offered him.

“Please,” he begged softly, and there was an almost pleading quality to his tone that sent a thrill racing through you. “Don’t tease me so much. I... I can’t take it.”

His vulnerability, his willingness to submit completely, was intoxicating. There was a fire in his eyes, a mixture of desperation and arousal that only deepened with each teasing stroke. You could feel your own breaths becoming more labored as you continued to guide the moment, understanding the delicate balance of power you both occupied.

“Is this too much?” you teased, pretending to pull back slightly. He shook his head fervently, eyes wide with longing.

“No, don’t stop,” he whispered, and there was an earnestness in his voice that tugged at something deep within you. You felt as though you were sculpting him, molding his desires with every careful movement, every caress.

Your hand began to move in a rhythm, slow yet deliberate, every stroke coaxing him ever closer to the precipice. And with each movement, you felt him melt further beneath you, fully embracing the role of obedient partner. The rush of power felt nearly overwhelming, a heady mix of control and adoration as you felt him surrender completely to your touch.

“Just enjoy it,” you whispered, leaning in closer until your lips brushed against his ear. Each breath you took enveloped him, wrapping around both of you in a cocoon of intimacy, a bubble where outside distractions ceased to exist. You could see him quivering beneath the pleasure you generated, and it was intoxicating.

“Please... just don’t tease,” he begged once more, the quiet desperation in his voice striking a perfect balance with the desire simmering within you. Each plea only intensified your resolve, and with every whispered word, he surrendered yet again, letting the weight of your actions wash over him.

You intensified your movements, feeling the warmth radiating from him, slowly shifting the pace as you gradually escalated the teasing. The tension hung thick in the air, a waiting game that pulled taut with every stroke. Each time you grazed over him, all the little noises and sighs spilled from his lips, creating a symphony of pleasure that filled the room.

You watched closely, reveling in the expressions flickering across his face, in the way vulnerability washed over him like a wave. Time seemed to lose its meaning as you lost yourself in this exploration of power dynamics, where your confidence lifted you both higher, inviting him to dive deeper into the depths of submission.

His quiet pleas encouraged you, drew you in; a sweet melody that acted as your rhythm while you guided him through this intoxicating journey, mapping out the contours of pleasure as you both intertwined in the moment. You were aware that you both were teetering on the edge of something transformative, and as the air crackled with unspent energy, you surrendered to the experience, as he surrendered to you.

You felt the electric atmosphere around you thrum with anticipation as your gaze shifted to the vibrator lying temptingly beside you on the couch. A wicked smile curled at the corners of your lips as you grasped it, knowing it would elevate the tension between you to dizzying heights. You could sense Josh’s awareness shift too, a palpable energy building in the room as his eyes widened with both excitement and apprehension.

“Ready?” you questioned lightly, letting the words hang in the air as you positioned the vibrator in your hand. You wanted to savor this moment, to watch as he processed the idea of what was to come, what you were about to unleash.

With slow, deliberate movements, you leaned closer again, your body once more hovering over him. Your heart raced at the sight of him, his breath quickening as you brought the vibrator closer. The way his body responded instinctively made your pulse quicken as well—the subtle tension in his muscles and the way he squirmed slightly beneath you, anticipation and longing pooling between you like a tangible force.

As you slipped your hand into his pants, your fingers brushed against him lightly before finding the warmth of his skin. You could feel him tense momentarily at the sensation, a low, shaky breath escaping him as you gently guided the vibrator to him, pressing it against the straining fabric. The world outside faded away, and in that singular moment, it was just the two of you, lost in the delicious build of intimacy.

You turned on the vibrator, opting for the low setting, and a ripple of pleasure surged through him as it hummed against him. He gasped, his back arching slightly as the sensation pulsed against him, and you could see the way his eyes fluttered shut, caught in a labyrinth of pleasure and restraint.

“Tell me how it feels,” you murmured, your voice like honey, sweet and thick with arousal. The way his body reacted told you everything you needed to know, but you wanted to hear the words spill from his lips, the unmistakable sincerity in his voice adding to the urgency of the moment.

“It’s—,” he stammered, the word breaking off as he squirmed, the gentle vibrations drawing him deeper into the delightful haze. “It’s good… really good. But... please, I need more.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his pleading tone; there was something deliciously intoxicating about the way he lay there, completely at your mercy. You relished the power of it all—the way you could tease and tantalize him, drawing out each moment to leave him yearning for more.

You moved the vibrator slowly, experimenting with the angle and pressure, eliciting soft whimpers and breathy gasps each time it brushed against him. The softness of the couch created the perfect backdrop, wrapping you both in a cocoon of warmth and intimacy. Each press of the device ignited his desires, your careful rhythm turning into an intricate dance that toyed with his every sensation.

“Just like that…” you coaxed, your voice full of encouragement, urging him to let go of any lingering hesitation. You watched as his breath hitched, the muscles in his abdomen tightening at the ripple of pleasure cascading through him.

“Please, don’t hold back,” he gasped, his own need palpable in the air, a siren call that echoed deep within you. “I need more of that...”

“More, huh?” you teased, tilting your head slightly as you leaned in, your breath warm against his ear. “You’re sure you can handle it?”

He nodded vigorously, his eyes alight with fervor, and the sight was more than enough to urge you onward. You delighted in the way he exposed his vulnerability, the openness in his gaze that confirmed his readiness to submit entirely to this experience.

With a deeper smirk, you turned up the setting just a notch, and you could see the electric jolt that rippled through him immediately. His body arched off the couch, a soft moan tumbling past his lips as he pressed into the sensation, hands gripping the couch as if to anchor himself.

“That's it,” you encouraged, loving the sight of him breaking down, submitting to every sensation you orchestrated. You continued to work the vibrator over him, applying gentle pressure and pressing it deeper against him. He squirmed slightly, his form trembling with a delicious ache as he chased the thrilling sensations coursing through him.

“More, please! Don’t tease me like this,” he begged again, his voice a soft whimper, threaded with desperation that made your heart race.

You relished the genuine yearning in his pleas, acknowledging the fine line between ecstasy and torment you now danced upon together. “If you want more, you’ll have to earn it,” you replied playfully, letting the teasing settle in the spaces between your words. The way he shifted, the eager desire in his eyes as he melted beneath your control, spurred you on further.

The soft hum of the vibrator became a constant heartbeat in the room, a backdrop to the sounds of his soft whimpers and the sweet melody of his surrender. You continued exploring every aspect of pleasure, turning the dial to find the rhythm that ignited him most, gauging his reactions and building a crescendo of need that surged ever closer.

You watched his reactions carefully, observing how each movement, each shift in pressure drew him further into a spiral of desire. It was this delicate balance that brought you both closer to the precipice, and you knew that the moment of surrender was nearing. He craved more, and you could feel the ache for release building inside him with every fleeting second.

“Want me to turn it up a little more?” you teased again, your voice honeyed with delight.

“Please,” he gasped, and this time the longing in his voice was unmistakable.

As you looked down at him, you could see everything—the tantalizing vulnerability, the raw desire in his eyes—as you prepared to guide him deeper into the depths of pleasure, one carefully orchestrated moment at a time. The anticipation hung thick in the air, an unbroken thread of connection woven through shared desires, as you continued to relish in this exquisite game of pleasure, playful teasing, and tantalizing surrender.

The moment hung tantalizingly in the air, thick with anticipation and electric desire. You focused on Josh, every inch of him radiating need as you held the vibrator firmly against him. He was utterly vulnerable beneath your touch, and the sight of him squirming with longing was a beautiful reward for the control you wielded.

“Please,” he breathed again, the single word like a prayer falling from his lips, igniting something primal deep within you. You could feel his entire body arching in desperate longing, the way he shifted beneath you as if searching for more of that intoxicating friction. His gaze was fixed on you, a mix of yearning and submission that sent shivers racing down your spine.

“Alright, my love,” you said softly, relishing the power in your voice. You increased the setting, realizing the moment had come to unleash the torrent of sensations you both craved. As the warmth radiated against him, you could almost feel the way his body reacted. Each pulse of vibration caused a hitch in his breath, an electric current snapping through him that made his muscles contract in response.

“God…” he gasped, a raw, primal sound that echoed in the small space between you, enveloping you both in the delicious tension. His eyes fluttered shut again, and you could see the pleasure ripple across his features, a divine expression that filled you with urgency. You found your own heart racing in tandem, exhilarated by how quickly you could turn his world upside down with just a flick of a switch.

You pressed the vibrator against him a little harder, coaxing out that exquisite urgency in him. The low hum deepened into a constant thrum that resonated through both of you. You watched as Josh began to squirm more prominently under the pressure of the vibrations, his body yielding even further to the sensation. You could tell he was teetering on the edge of bliss, his breath coming in soft, uneven bursts that hung thick in the air.

“Don’t move too much,” you instructed gently yet firmly, the hint of playfulness laced in your tone. “I want you to feel everything.”

He nodded, biting down on his lip as he surrendered to your guidance, each element of control sending delicious shivers up your spine. You relished this moment, the way you could orchestrate the ebb and flow of his pleasure, crafting an experience that felt intensely intimate and significant.

The vibrations pulsed rhythmically, coaxing another moan from his lips, the sound almost a melody that resonated with your every thought. You reveled in every gasp and whimper, each one igniting your own longing even further as his need began to radiate in waves.

“More… please, don’t stop,” he pleaded, his words catching at the edge of desperation. This time, there was less hesitation in his voice, a raw authenticity driving his request. You could feel the way his body responded, the way it yearned for deeper fulfillment, and it only intensified your determination to give him everything he sought.

“I won’t,” you promised him, an alluring smile curving your lips as you held the vibrator lightly yet firmly against him, angling it just right to increase the sensation. You reveled in the subtle shifts as he instinctively leaned into the vibrations, arching his back as he sought more, an almost instinctual reaction to the pleasure swelling within him.

“Just let go,” you coaxed softly, feeling the pulse of the moment strengthen. “Trust me.”

He swallowed hard, a flicker of uncertainty dancing in his eyes, but you saw it mingle with the undeniable yearning that coursed through him. It was the perfect mix of trust and desire, and you had every intention of guiding him through this journey in the way that he craved most.

You felt the vibrations create a beautiful tension, the way they trembled deep within him, sending ripples of pleasure cascading from where you held him. You watched closely, feeling the reward of every gasp and tremor, knowing that with each second you could draw him closer to the edge.

“Please, I can’t take it anymore…” he whimpered, and the intensity in his voice sent an intoxicating thrill through you. You could see the desperate need spilling over, the way his body was begging for release from the tension you had delicately woven around him.

“Just a little longer,” you teased sweetly, your own heart racing at his desperate need. “You’re doing so well.”

With a newfound clarity, you began to edge the setting higher, excitedly driving him to experience deeper and more intense waves of pleasure. The change was instantaneous—you could almost feel the breath leave his lungs as the vibrations coursed over him like a wave crashing against the shore, an overwhelming force that enveloped him.

“Oh my God…” he gasped, his eyes fluttering open as they met yours, betraying a mixture of ardor and disbelief that only further fueled the fire between you. You could feel his body quaking, the way he fought against the urge to thrust into the vibrations, so near—yet so far—away from the release he desperately sought.

“Do you want more?” you asked, the words dripping with seduction, wanting to draw him deeper into this shared space of desire. You could feel the raw honesty in his gaze as he nodded vehemently, the need spilling out of him in quiet whimpers.

“Please, yes! I can’t… I can’t hold back,” he confessed, the truth spilling onto the floor like a cherished secret. With those words, it felt like the tension that had built between you ignited into a blaze.

“Then let go,” you murmured, leaning closer as you pressed the vibrator against him again, this time with a deliberate push that captured every vulnerability he offered. He cried out at the sensation, his body arching again, surrendering to the overwhelming waves of pleasure rolling through him, each moment compounding into a beautiful crescendo leading toward an impending climax.

You adjusted your rhythm, your movements becoming more deliberate, coaxing him higher and higher until the vibrations were overwhelming, trapping him in a blissful state of pure ecstasy. “You can do this,” you urged softly, your voice a soft yet insistent whisper meant to guide him over the edge. “Just feel it.”

His eyes went wide as he nodded, body trembling under the intensity of the pleasure that coursed through every inch of him, muscles fluttering with eagerness. “God, I’m so close…” he managed to gasp out, and those words only motivated you further.

“Just a little longer,” you echoed, teasingly shifting the vibrator’s angle to keep him on the precipice, allowing him to hover in that delicious space filled with sensory whirlwind. You wanted to watch him break, to see the moment when his control crumbled beneath the weight of desire and surrender.

With every moment that passed, you felt the connection between you deepening, a silent agreement that tethered you together through this exquisite exploration of ecstasy. All the while, you continued to guide him, your every movement intentional, carefully calibrated to jolt him closer and closer to the edge he craved.

With your heart racing, you pushed the vibrator just that much harder against him, steady and unyielding, feeling the tension build as he desperately writhed beneath you. The orchestra of sounds that spilled from him only fanned the flames of your own yearning, and you both succumbed to the intoxicating atmosphere surrounding you.

He took a shaky breath, eyes dancing with uncontained need, and you could see that the moment was expertly approaching. You could feel him teetering on the brink as the vibrations became a relentless wave—and that’s when you pressed the vibrator firmly against him, fully surrendering to the moment.

“Now, let go,” you whispered, your voice as soft as silk, the encouragement puncturing the thick air like an arrow hitting its target. The moment stretched beautifully between you both, an eternity wrapped in a sensation that blurred the lines between pleasure and release.

The cries that followed were mesmerizing, a melody of bliss that echoed through the room as he finally surrendered, washing over him like a powerful tide. You watched, breathless, every expression of his uncontrollable pleasure, as he fell over that edge, the world around you fading into blissful nothingness.

“Just let it take you,” you encouraged as he overwhelmed himself completely, lost in the intoxicating waves of pleasure that buried him deep, and you felt yourself drown in it too. The satisfaction of guiding him, of drawing out every shudder and gasp, only deepened the understanding between you, solidifying your connection in that all-consuming moment.

Time became irrelevant as you both let the world dissolve around you, lost in a cocoon of shared pleasure and trust, as the vibrational hum continued to reverberate between you, carrying you both into the depths of an experience that felt as though it could stretch on forever. The intoxicating union between dominance and submission became a glorious exploration that neither of you dared to escape, as you lingered there, wrapped in the lush sensations of the moment, completely sheltered from everything but each other.

[katuschka]

Touch Starved Pups Masterpost

Jake Kiszka x f!reader x Josh Kiszka

It was supposed to be just a funny one shot, but it's already growing out of proportions inside my head, so here we are. Part One Part Two Part Three

This is a story about what happens to two well-behaved, bored and horny romantics when a new feisty, worldly and hot social media manager enters the building...

Teaser: ...and if you keep wondering why they behave like such frenzied horndogs all the time, the explanation is pretty simple. It’s because they are!

It’s good for the show – sure thing – and they’re both true born professionals creating a breathtaking spectacle. But the truth is that they’re naturals. Lusty, filthy, bad. 

Just kidding. They’re sweethearts. Lust-driven, whiny pups that want to be played with. When the show’s over, they both follow me backstage like good boys that they are, wagging their tails at me enthusiastically.

If this caught your attention, I do have a TAGLIST. :)

Asked sweet mama, let me be her kid.

She said, "You might get hurt if you don't keep it hid"

She's a good rider

She's my kindhearted lady

She studies evil all the time

@its-interesting-van-kleep @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @writingcold @ignite-my-fire @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @fleet-of-fiction @lvnterninthenight @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @thewritingbeforesunrise @wetkleenex-gvf @lyndz2names

[samkiszkasfacialhair]

Vengeance

Vengeance

Pairing: Josh Kiszka and Female Reader

Summary: “When people misbehave, they get punished. That’s how they learn, ya know?”

Warnings: Pit viper Josh, punishment sex, degradation, dominant Josh, bondage (tying hands/wrists and blindfolding), use of the word “slut,” “slave,” and “whore,” puppy play (kind of), forced blow job, gagging, breath control, mention of vomit, humiliation, teasing, rough unprotected sex, impact to the face, spitting. 

Word Count: 6.5k

To say you planned to make Josh fall apart would be an understatement. However you never thought he’d turn the tables on you. 

As you stood there, with a metal shelf pressed against your back and your hands tied above your head with the strings of your bikini top, trying to figure out how to get yourself free, you thought back to the series of events that led you to this moment. 

It was a Kiszka family weekend. Their parents and sister had planned to come to see a show in a few days and the guys had the weekend free, which called for family activities. 

Each of the boys organized something. Jake booked everyone hotel rooms, Sam made reservations and covered the cost of all the dinners, and Josh booked the daily activities- which he specifically was very excited for, because you were staying by a lake. 

Josh rented a boat for one of the afternoons- something the entire family would enjoy.

So, a few days ago, you rush-shipped a new bikini and coverup for the trip and the day before leaving, it showed up at your front door.

Perfect.

It was a dark green cheeky bikini with little white flowers embroidered on it that was held together by just a few strings. It was cute however, it was a bit smaller in real life than it was according to the pictures online.

But the way it hugged and accentuated every part of your body that you wanted it to perfectly when you tried it on gave you a boost of confidence and not to mention, a few dirty thoughts- thoughts that you were sure were bound to cross Josh’s mind too. Besides, you loved time off with him. He wasn't as tired as he was during show days and you had more time for "activities."

He was going to love it, that much you were sure of.

But, you remembered, you’d also be around his family. So of course, you also purchased a cover up. The cover up was an off white knitted dress that would do its job for when you were around the family or at public places throughout the day. 

You packed bags for yourself and Josh and right before zipping up the bags, you admired to yourself how your new bathing suit unintentionally but probably subconsciously matched the one Josh was set to bring- white swim trunks with a subtle pattern of green accented shapes. You threw it on top of yours and zipped the suitcase.

***

“Sam just texted me that he’s leaving now so he’ll be at the dock in a few minutes. You ready?” Josh asked as he laid on the bed of your hotel room on his phone, not bothering to look up to you as you walked out of the bathroom.

“Mhm,” you hummed, giving yourself one last look in the mirror.

“Oka- Woah. No. Absolutely not,” Josh protested at the sight of you.

“What?” you asked as you continued to put your earrings in.

“The outfit! No!” he said with a chuckle coming off his lips as if it was all a big prank.

Instantly, you put on the charm.

“You don’t like it?” you asked innocently.

He sighed, rolled off the bed, and came over to where you were standing, clasping his hands behind your back and pulling you close to him.

“Don’t be like that, Mama. It’s just… a lot. Well, actually, it’s not a lot at all. You’re practically wearing nothing. I mean, my parents are gonna be there today,” he explained, getting a good look at you.

You gave him a little pout, dropped your chin, and looked at him through your lashes to hit him with your best puppy dog look. 

There was no sense in arguing. Josh knew you could be a bit of a handful at times and after all, that was something about you that he had to admit he loved- something that turned him on, even.

He laughed to himself and shook his head, “God, what am I gonna do with you?”

“Love you too, Baby,” you said sweetly as you gave him a quick kiss and a pat on his butt. 

After grabbing your bags and a case of beer, you Josh walked out of the hotel, and down to the dock to the boat he had rented hand in hand. You were the last ones to arrive- as usual with him. 

It was hot out but cloudy, and the breeze from the water was perfect. However, despite the clouds, Josh had on a pair of sunglasses. Pit Viper sunglasses to be exact. He loved them. You hated them. They made him look like a douche bag and he knew it. But, with you wearing a skimpy bikini that he didn’t exactly approve of, he figured he should include something you weren’t exactly a huge fan of as part of his outfit for the day. It was only fair.

Josh made a grand entrance upon stepping onto the boat, holding up the case of beer he brought and screaming out to his family to let them know the two of you had arrived.

The boat was big. It had a few decks as well as a full indoor living area, kitchen, and even a bedroom. There were also stairs leading down to an unlit area which you assumed led to storage and technical stuff.

After greeting his parents and sister, you sat down on a white padded bench near Sam who was was sitting crisscrossed on the deck of the boat while his girlfriend had her hands in his hair, tugging it this way and that as she put two French braids in it to keep it from blowing wildly in the wind.

“You look handsome with your hair like that, Sammy,” you said sweetly to him. 

“Thank you! You look lovely today by the way,” he replied.

You smiled at Sam’s compliment and looked at Josh with an I told you so look on your face. 

“Hm. At least Sammy thinks I look nice,” you whispered to him.

“I never said you didn’t” he said sternly as his jaw clench and he swallowed hard.

He lifted your legs up onto his lap and ran his free hand up and down them a few times before resting his hand just above your knee, almost as if he was claiming you.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he warned in your ear, just above a whisper as the boat started moving. 

You opened your mouth to give him a smartass reply but stopped yourself when his dad stood in front of the two of you, handing you each a drink.

“You like black cherry, right?” his dad asked with a Whiteclaw extended to you.

“Yes, it’s my favorite, thank you!” you answered with a smile as you grabbed it from his hand. 

Josh took a can of beer from his dad, cracked it open, gulped down almost half of it right off the bat. 

“Slow down, Baby, no one’s taking it from you,” you giggled as you brought your hand to the back of his neck and swirled your fingers through the curls at the bottom of his head.

He swallowed and brought the ice cold can to your legs, using them as a table and sending shivers throughout your body.

As the boat sailed through the water, everyone drank, talked, and laughed. Everyone except Josh, who was quieter than usual. He was good at masking his emotions though. No one seemed to pick up on it except you. After all, you knew exactly why he was quiet. 

What you wanted to happen, was happening. It was only a matter of time before he broke.

Soon, the boat anchored at a shallower area of the lake. The captain informed you all that the water was about twenty feet deep, making it safe and suitable for jumping off the boat and swimming.

“You guys going in?” Jake asked the two of you, standing up and unbuttoning the black overshirt he had on. 

Josh looked over at you and raised his eyebrows, silently asking you if you wanted to go in. 

You didn’t answer Josh. Instead, you eyed Jake up and down, making sure Josh saw you do so.

“Yeah,” you said, replying not to Josh, but to Jake.

You sat up and gave Josh a small smile. He didn’t smile back. Instead, he tipped his sunglasses down so you could see his eyes which were strong and giving you a warning look.

Ignoring the “knock it off” look, you gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking off your white knitted cover up. When you pulled it over your head, instantly, you caught Sam and Jake’s eyes on you, despite their own girlfriends being there.

Sam was obvious. His eyes practically burned a hole into the fabric of your bikini. With her hands still braiding his hair, his girlfriend jerked his head around and he winced as his hair got pulled, a seemingly intentional move on her part.

Jake, at least, was smarter about it, hiding behind a pair of round black sunglasses and raising his beer can to his lips, taking a sip to hide his smile.

Even their dad gave Josh an approving look and a raise of his eyebrows. 

Josh handled each of them as he stood up to follow you.

He smacked the unbraided side of Sam’s head as he walked by him. 

He laughed his dad off as respectfully as he could. 

And as he walked by Jake, who was standing on the edge of the boat, he gave him a push and watched him fall into the water below him. 

The sound of his body hitting the water was all you heard until you looked over to see him laughing with just his head out of the water, his body completely invisible as it emerged in the dark lake water surrounding him. 

“You dick!” he shouted jokingly, “You better get your ass in here and bring me a new beer!”

Josh turned to you, pulling you in tight by your waist, “You heard your boyfriend,” he teased, “better get your ass in there,” he said, smirking.

“Jealous?” you asked sweetly.

He looked down at your chest and then back to your face.

 “No,” he answered, stretching out the word fighting back a smile. 

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” you said as you gave him a peck and jumped off the boat and into the water with Jake. 

Immediately, Josh followed behind you and eventually, Sam, his girlfriend, Jake’s girlfriend, and Ronnie were all in the water with you.

After a while of swimming with the group, having canned drinks thrown down to you all by their parents, and Sam and Jake swimming away to pee, you started to get cold and the group of you got back onto the boat before it took off again to head to another location in the lake. 

As you sat on the top deck in just your bikini, with your legs in Josh’s lap, the sun started burning off the clouds little by little, making the day grow hotter, which was nice considering you were in a cold, wet bathing suit.

“You’re getting a little pink, Baby,” you said, pressing your fingertips onto Josh’s sunkissed shoulder and releasing them to see a small pale dot linger behind before returning to the same color pink around it.

“Yeah you can still burn even with the overcast,” Sam interjected, squinting up to the sky. 

Josh rolled his eyes. Sam didn’t have that problem and he never did. Sam’s skin always held strong under just one layer of SPF 30 all day while Jake and Josh would be better off reapplying SPF 50 every hour. Sam’s comment also didn’t help with Josh already annoyed at him. 

“You want 50?” his dad asked, holding out a can of sunscreen.

“Ah, yes, that’s perfect,” you said, standing up and reaching for the can from his dad, making sure you pushed your ass and tits out just a bit more than your normally would, “Thank you!”

“Course,” his dad replied.

Josh grabbed your wrist to stop you from twisting the nozzle open, “Actually, you wanna go inside with me? Get a drink and be in the shade for a little?” he asked quietly.

“M’kay,” you replied, getting up, handing his dad the can of sunscreen back, and following him inside the boat as the sounds of his family members talking and laughing muffled with the closing the glass door behind you. 

“I want to make something very clear to you,” he said as he pulled you down the stairs by your arm and swung you around to face him once you reached the landing and were out of earshot of the captain of the boat.

The way he whipped you around made your breath hitch in your throat and you exhaled hard as your eyes met his and he continued speaking through his teeth. 

“You want to dress like a slut? Act like a slut? I will treat you like a slut. And then we’ll see just how you like it, hm?”

You looked at yourself in the reflection of his sunglasses and smiled just a bit, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth. You hated those sunglasses but you were so thankful for them right now. You had to admit, you loved seeing what he saw as you looked at the reflection in them. And right now, all you saw was a little brat who deserved whatever was coming her way.

If he wanted to, you’d let him take you on the stairs right then and there for anyone to see. That’s how bad you wanted and needed him right now. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said sweetly, playing dumb.  

“Really?” he asked rehtorically, “You think I didn’t notice all that shit you pulled with my brothers out there? Hm? And my fucking dad?”

“I was being nice. Unlike you who got a little attitude all of a sudden,” you said fighting back a smile. 

You knew you weren’t just being nice.

“Yeah the way you were looking at Jake was really nice, wasn’t it?”

“You know what, I think you are jealous after all,” you replied.

“And I think, you need to be taught a lesson,”

“So teach me then,” you said, crossing your arms in front of you, making sure you pushed your tits up just a bit with it.

That was it and you knew it. Those four words sent Josh to his breaking point and the look on his face proved it.

Josh smiled, shook his head, and let out a laugh through his mouth as he traced his bottom teeth with his tongue. 

“Teach you? Oh I’ll teach you,” he said as he pulled onto your arm and led you down the narrow corridor of the basement of the boat and into a small room that was seemingly reserved for the crew members. 

He slammed the door behind him and twisted the dead bolt to lock it. 

He flicked on a light switch to reveal that you were both standing in a storage closet, containing just a utility sink and a metal wire shelf that was stocked from ceiling to floor with cleaning supplies.

“What’s your word, Mama?” he asked with his hands in his hair, untying the white bandana that he was wearing.

“Red,” you said clearly.

“And what if you can’t talk?”

“Shake my head three times.”

“Perfect,” he said, smiling at you and then turning his attention to the bandana between his fingers as he gave it a good tug. 

There was a ball of anxiety in your stomach that was more excited than nervous or fearful. The two of you had experimented with stuff like this before. You trusted Josh with everything in you and even though you knew he was about to completely ruin you for his own pleasure and entertainment, you knew you were in good hands. After all, this is what you hoped for.

“Now,” he began as he spun you around, grabbed your wrists and held them together in his hand behind your back, “I don’t give a fuck about your pleasure. I don’t give a fuck if you cum. You misbehaved. And when people misbehave…” he paused for a second to tug the bandana tight around your wrists, “They get punished. That’s how they learn. Ya know?”

All your body would let out was a hum in agreement as Josh grabbed your shoulders and spun you around forcefully, manhandling you.

“So,” he whispered as he brought his face close to yours, “It’s time for you to learn so this doesn't happen again,” he said as he flicked the tip of your nose.

He used one hand to sneak to the back of your neck and untie your bikini top. In just a few seconds, the strings were undone and the top came tumbling down, exposing your bare chest to him. The second string that wrapped around your back was still in place though, keeping the two triangles of the top just dangling over your stomach, swinging back and forth as you moved your body.

The same hand continued down your chest and he swirled his fingertips over your nipple lightly, causing your back to arch involuntarily at his touch.

“Mmm, feels good?” he asked softly with his mouth an inch away from yours.

“Yeah,” you breathed out in a whisper, closing your eyes and subconsciously bringing your face closer to go in to kiss him. A kiss which never happened because Josh pulled his face back.

In a second, a sinister chuckle left his lips and a sharp pain rang through your chest as he pinched and pulled upward on your nipple.

“Don’t get used to it,” he said bluntly, giving it one last tug before ripping his fingers from you.

“Get on your knees,” he commanded as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You did as he said and dropped down so that your face was at eye level with the bulge in his swim trunks.

“What are you waiting for? Take ‘em off,” he said sharply.

“Josh,” you said bluntly, “I can’t,” you emphasized your words, reminding him that your hands were tied behind your back. 

He didn’t need to be reminded. He didn’t care.

“Get creative. You’ll find a way.”

You looked up at his face and then down at his shorts which were at eye level. All you had was your mouth. 

Inching closer to him on your knees, you took your teeth to the waistband of his shorts right by his hip bone, and tugged down. 

They came down an inch on one side and you crawled to the other side of him and did the same there.

Back and forth you went, on your knees, tugging Josh’s trunks down an inch at a time on each side, looking absolutely pathetic, as he stood from above and watched with a smirk on his face, laughing at you. You couldn’t even see his eyes through his sunglasses, all you saw was yourself, his slave, in the reflection of them.

After getting his shorts down about halfway and struggling to get them to come off past his bulge, he had had enough and he pulled his shorts down the rest of the way, fully revealing his hard cock to you. 

“Suck it,” he commanded.

You looked up at him, licked your lips, and leaned forward to take his dick in your mouth. 

The second the tip of his dick pushed past your lips he let out a sigh of pleasure and grabbed the back of your head.

Instantly, he started using his hands to guide you. He used your hair as leverage, pulling at your roots and pushing down on your head as he moved you back and forth. It felt good- that little sting that came with each pull. 

Normally, you’d be able to add some “technique” to sucking his dick. You’d use your hands and twist them around his shaft. You’d be able to go at your own pace, starting slow and sucking the tip the way he liked it. You could swirl your tongue around the head of his dick or cup his balls to send him over the edge a bit. But not this time. All you had was your open mouth. He was in control of everything. 

In a way, you were glad he was. You could barely keep your own balance due to not being able to use your hands and water dripping from both your bathing suits and your hair had made the floor just a bit slippery below your knees, causing them to slide around a bit. Not to mention, you were on a moving boat.

However, him being in control of everything meant he was going to use you just the way he wanted to.

Quickly, he picked up the pace.

Josh let go of your hair and his hands gripped the sides of your head and pulled you back and forth on his dick with force a few times.

But that wasn’t enough for him. He stilled his hands, kept your head steady, and started thrusting his hips into you, fucking your face. 

The gargle sounds that started in your throat and came out of your mouth as the saliva collected in your open mouth and began dripping onto your chin were something you’d only ever heard in porn before. 

He looked down at you the entire time and you looked up at him, watching yourself in the reflection of his sunglasses. You could see and feel your own saliva dripping down between your tits.

With every thrust, his sunglasses slid further and further off his nose and you flinched as they came down, just missing your face, and hitting the floor to your left. 

He stopped for a minute with his dick still in your mouth and both turned your eyes to the floor where you could just faintly see the sunglasses in your peripheral vision.

“Pick ‘em up,” he instructed and he pushed your head off of his dick backwards.

You wiggled your body around and leaned sideways awkwardly to grab at them, but you were unsuccessful. You tried a few times, grabbing them with your fingers before dropping them time after time. The way your wrists were tied up didn’t allow your hands for much movement. Not to mention the way you had to bend around was difficult and was stretching your back in painful ways, causing you to wince and whine as you tried. 

You sat back on your heels and looked up at him, defeated and out of breath. 

He laughed, “You are absolutely pathetic, Baby. Come on, I thought you were smarter than this.” 

You looked at the glasses on the floor again and sighed. Still sitting on your heels, you turned yourself around, giving him a view of your ass with your hands tied right above it, which you were sure he loved.

And just as he wanted you to, like nothing but an obedient dog, you leaned down and with your mouth, picked up the glasses and crawled back around to present them to him.

He reached down and cupped the side of your face gently, a contrast to how he had been handing you for the past few minutes.

“That’s a good girl,” he cooed the same way he would reward Sam’s dog for doing a trick, as he took the sunglasses from your mouth. 

You fully expected him to put them back on his own face but instead, he reached down and put them on you. 

In any normal circumstance, this would be a soft act of kindness. But not in this one. This was just another way of humiliating and degrading you, and the next words out of his mouth proved it.

“There we go, that’s better,” he said softly and sweetly, before his tone changed as he continued, “Yeah,” he laughed, “I don't even want to look at you.”

He stroked himself a few times before he continued, “Now, is my good little puppy ready for her treat? Open,” he said as he grabbed the back of your head and forced you onto his dick once more and held you there. 

You gagged around his dick as it hit the back of your throat. You concentrated on breathing through your nose as your throat closed around his dick. You were swallowing his cock and your own saliva all while fighting back vomit that you could feel forcing its way up your throat. 

Tears welled up in your eyes ran down your face, causing the inside of the glasses to fog up to the point where you could no longer see anything. 

He kept one hand on the back of your head and used the other one to take hold of your nose and squeeze your nostrils shut.

At that point, you had lost feeling in your arms, you couldn’t see, and now you couldn’t breathe. 

The only thing you could do was feel him using you and take it. Your mouth was nothing but a hole for Josh to use to get himself off. Every ounce of dignity was stripped from you. The only thing that even provided you with the slightest bit of it was your bathing suit bottoms that were still intact but pooling with your own wetness as Josh continued fucking your face.

You were a second away from shaking your head to get him to stop when he shoved you away aggressively, allowing you to suck in a massive and well earned breath as well as close your mouth to swallow properly for the first time in what felt like forever. 

He pushed the glasses up onto your forehead, allowing you to regain your sense of sight, and both of you watched a string of saliva connecting your mouth to his dick stretch and eventually break apart into two pieces landing on his thigh and your chest. 

Breathing with your mouth open to catch your breath, you sat back on your heels and looked up at him, desperately, as he looked down at you with a pleased expression on his face. 

You were practically panting to catch your breath when he reached down and lifted your chin to close your mouth.

“Close your mouth, Baby, you look like a whore.”

No shit.

He held onto your cheeks and smooshed them together, hard, causing your lips to part and letting all the excess saliva ooze between your teeth, bubble out, and dribble down your chin.

For just a fraction of a second, he smiled at you. It was so brief that if you would have blinked in that exact second, you wouldn’t have seen it. 

And just as quickly, his expression was serious again as he released your cheeks from his grip with a push to your face. 

With that same hand, he swirled your hair around his wrist and held it tight in a makeshift ponytail in his fist before using it to yank you up to your feet. 

You winced as he pulled you up forcefully, feeling your neck stretch as your legs tried to keep up with how quickly he was pulling.

As he pulled you up, you slipped around on the floor which was not only covered in lake water, but now drops of your own saliva. Josh held you steady for a moment with each of his hands gripping your upper arms. 

He spun you around, freed your wrists, and spun you around again so that you were now facing him.

He threw the bandana to the floor on top of his disregarded swim trunks.

“Take that off,” he commanded, jutting his chin out toward your bikini top that was hanging by one loose knot just below your ribcage.

Careful not to drop it, you untied it, pulled it off, and handed it to him, unsure of the next plan he had for you. 

“That little bratty mouth of yours served me well, Mama. But now,” he said as he held your wrists together in front of you and wrapped the bikini top strings around them a couple times, “Let’s see what that pussy can do for me, hm?”

He walked you backwards a few steps until your back made contact with the metal shelf behind you, causing you to shiver from how cold it was.

He raised your tied wrists over your head and using the rest of the bikini top, he secured your wrists to the top wire shelf, wrapping the string around in the most unconventional way and creating knots that would be close to impossible to undo.

He gave your wrists a yank and when they didn’t detach from the shelf or slip out of the ties, he smiled to himself with satisfaction. 

He walked around to the front of you and looked you up and down.

“Comfortable?”

“No,” you whined as you moved around a bit, struggling.

“Aw that’s too bad, Mama. You look so pretty like this. All desperate and helpless. Nothing but a whore for a good fuck,” he said as he sucked his teeth and gave you a condescending pout.

He took one finger, starting at your wrist, and ran it down the inside of your entire arm.

You squirmed as his finger brushed over your armpit and down to your nipple, giving it a flick before his hand came up to your chin. 

With his other hand, he grabbed the front of your bikini bottom and pulled tight, letting the fabric create a burning friction between your folds. 

You let out a whimper of pain. 

“Jo-” you whined.

“Shhhh,” he said, shushing you but also finishing the last sound of his name that you whined out.

He let go and the elastic in the bottoms snapped back onto your skin with a sting. He pushed the crotch of your bikini bottom to the side, feeling around with his fingers- feeling the wetness that had accumulated. Slowly, he dipped two fingers inside you and pulled them back out.

“You like all this a bit too much, don’t you?” he asked in a sweet voice, “Maybe a bit more than you should?”

He was right. You liked this more than you should. A lot more than you should. Any sane person would find this completely humiliating and degrading. But surprisingly, this got you more turned on than anything. 

You wanted Josh to use you. You wanted him to treat you like an object- not a person- nothing but a masturbation tool for him. 

You nodded in response as he pulled his wet fingers up and held them in between both of your faces, rubbing them back and forth, inspecting what was left on them.

“You know, I’m starting to think you planned this whole thing,” he said, smiling sinisterly, "You're smarter than you look,"

He picked up the bandana off the floor and wiped his fingers with it before balling it up and shoving it in your mouth.

“You like how you taste?” he asked with his hand covering your mouth tight.

“Mhm,” you said with your voice muffled from both the bandana and his hand.

“I’m gonna give you something that you’re really gonna like then,” he whispered as he lifted your leg up and placed your foot on the ledge of the utility sink next to you. 

Still holding the crotch of your bottoms to the side with one hand, he lined himself up with your entrance and then held onto your hip with his other hand as he slid inside you, bottoming out and filling you up completely. 

He started off slow, pulling out most of the way before filling you up again. However, he quickly picked up the speed and pressure, pushing your back into the metal shelf behind you with every thrust. 

That familiar dull ache began forming deep in your stomach as he kept going. It would come and go with his movements. Normally, you’d be able to tell him what to do to make you cum and he’d do it happily. But not this time. Right now, you knew your place. You were his toy, nothing but a set of holes for him to jack off into. Your pleasure meant absolutely nothing to him, he said it himself. If you asked him for anything to help you get closer to a release, he’d do the opposite and laugh at you.

As he continued, you felt the string of your bikini bottom come loose and fall over your leg and his. You looked down to see the strings dangling from your body and swung around between the two of you.

Upon looking down, the glasses that he had rested on the top of your head, once again, fell to the floor. But this time, Josh paid them no mind.

Instead, he pushed on your left leg that was held up by the sink and used your thigh for leverage, allowing himself to go in at a deeper angle as his other hand white knuckled the shelf behind you.

He grunted and breathed hard through his teeth while you whimpered in both pain and pleasure while biting down hard on the now soaked bandana.

All it took was one particularly deep and hard thrust to send a pornographic combination of expletives and moans from your mouth into the air.

“Oh God, Josh! FUCK!” you screamed, letting the now saliva soaked bandana to fall to the floor. 

Josh reached his hand up to your face laid his entire palm on your cheek with a hard slap before forcing four of his fingers into the side of your mouth and pulling your lips apart as he hooked his hand around so the palm of it was on your cheek and he was pressing your head back into the shelf as he continued fucking you.

“Come on, Mama, louder. Let ‘em all hear. You’re lucky I’m not fucking you up there, letting Sammy and Jake have their turns too. Bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? Keep it in the family, huh? You wanna fuck my dad too? Be my new step mom? You want that, don’t you? Disgusting.”

“No,” you argued back.

But with his hand prying your mouth open, you couldn’t get your lips or tongue to make the right N sound, which in turn made you sound the most pathetic you ever have.

“I’m sorry you’ll have to enunciate. What was that?” he asked with a chuckle coming off his lips, knowing damn well you loved being his little fuck toy and you were his to humiliate.

“I aid o!” you attempted to say.

“Oh you said no? Didn’t seem like it considering you’re all over them, wearing this slutty little bikini. Oh you look so handsome Sammy! Good for nothing but sucking and fucking,” he said, pushing into you harder as he spoke those specific words.

He started slamming into you mercilessly. The shelf behind you began moving and hitting the wall with each thrust with a thud. Paper towel rolls began falling from the top shelf onto the floor. Bottles of soap and cleaning products began falling over on the shelves as Josh pushed you into it.

Despite all that, Josh didn’t stop. Instead, he put his foot up on the bottom rung of the shelf and lifted his hips up underneath you, pushing himself deeper than ever before.

That was it. That was all it took to send you over the edge. The building feeling in your stomach came to a peak right there and exploded.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you watched the inside of your eyelids flicker open and close as you felt yourself tighten around Josh’s dick with your orgasm pulsing through your body. 

It was like nothing you’d ever experienced before. It was deep and strong and well earned.

The sounds that came out of your mouth were unintelligible. 

He fucked you through your orgasm and right into his, letting out a deep moan as he released himself inside you. He closed his eyes tight and furrowed his eyebrow as waves of visible pleasure filled his entire body causing his body to twitch as they hit.

When he finished, he stilled his movements and let go of your face; and the two of you, with your faces less than an inch apart, just stared at each other in awe, breathing heavily. Almost like neither of you could believe any of that just happened. 

Gently, he cupped your face, as if he was silently asking you if you were okay. It was like time stopped for just a second with him.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, looking at you with a genuine softness in his eyes.

He broke eye contact and looked down as he pulled himself out of you. Slowly, he lowered your leg back to the ground before cleaning himself off in the sink. He splashed cold water on his face and shook it off. You watched him as you felt the warmness of his cum starting to drip out of you.

Josh reached down to the bottom shelf next to you and uncapped a plastic bottle of water. 

“Open,” he said as he lifted your chin up and poured water in your mouth carefully in an act of kindness.

You swallowed a few times and he pulled the bottle away, letting the excess water drip down your chin, neck, and chest. 

He gulped down what was left in the bottle and when he was done, he pulled his shorts back on and stood back, admiring his work. 

Your hair was a mess- half wet, half dry, and tangled. There was black makeup streaming down your face. Saliva, both wet and dry, had run from your mouth, to your chin, and down to your stomach, leaving a wet spot on the top of the crotch of your bikini bottoms, which were hanging on loosely by one hip as his cum dripped down your inner thigh. 

Finally, to put the finishing touches on his masterpiece, he got his face close to yours and expecting a kiss, you lifted your chin to him. 

“Now,” he began, “What do you say?” he said softly, letting the word “say” draw out a bit.

“Thank y-,” you started to say when you were interrupted by Josh spitting on your face.

You flinched as it hit your face.

He aimed for your mouth but missed by just a bit, landing just below your bottom lip, giving his saliva no choice but to trickle down your chin and then down your chest, where it fell in and mixed with every other bodily fluid imaginable. 

He picked up his sunglasses and bandana from the floor and ran them under water in the sink. 

“Well,” he said casually as he laid the bandana across the edge of the sink to dry and shook the excess water off the glasses, “I’m gonna go take a nap so, I’ll see you later, Mama.”

“You’re seriously not going to get me out of this?” you asked with your hands still tied to the shelf.

“Eh,” he said, “You’re smart, I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders as he opened the door and shut it behind him, flicking off the lights as he left, leaving you there as you were. 

In the darkness you moved around a bit until a little green blinking light above the door caught your eye.

A security camera.

Fuck.

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry (no I’m not).

[stardustvanfleet]

Merry Christmas To You — Josh Kiszka x Reader (Fluff)

PAIRING: Josh Kiszka x F!Reader, Fluff

WORDS: 2.2k

SUMMARY: It's a snowy night in early December, and you and your boyfriend Josh are having a cozy night in, decorating your tree. When he puts one of his favorite classic Christmas albums on, the evening becomes even more romantic thanks to an impromptu serenade.

WARNINGS: None beyond kissing, language, mention of alcohol, and minor flirtatious innuendo.

A/N: Happy holidays and Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you enjoy this incredibly cozy and sugary sweet festive fluff. I had hoped to get this out a bit earlier in the month, but between working two jobs and preparing for the holidays it took a bit longer than expected, so thank you all so much for bearing with me during this time of year that is so damn hectic!!! Some special thanks here go to my loves @sinsofstardust and @losfacedevil for beta reading and being endless sources of both inspiration and love-- I adore y'all!!! I hope you all have a very happy holiday ❤️

FIC BEGINS BELOW THE CUT!

//

It was one of those December nights that you wished you could live in forever. Dusk had fallen early, and a light snow was falling outside; the soft, downy flakes catching in the light of the streetlamps as they tumbled gently towards the ground. For the first time in your new apartment, the one that you and your boyfriend Josh had moved into together just a few months earlier, the view through your window panes was truly beginning to resemble a Christmas card.

You took a sip from your mug of cocoa, which had been generously spiked with Bailey’s, but still tasted dangerously sweet. Turning over your shoulder with a grin, you caught Josh’s eye as he entered the living room with his own mug, steaming hot and piled high with whipped cream. You couldn’t help but feel your heart swell when you saw him— looking so handsome in one of his cozy white sweaters, his curls framing his face so beautifully, it was inevitable that he still gave you butterflies after all this time. 

“Josh, come watch the snow with me, love,” you giggled, curled up on your couch, which was pushed up right up against the largest window in the living room— it had been a perfect spot for watching the leaves change color and eventually fall to the ground, and now it provided an exceptional view of the picturesque wintery scene outdoors. His grin was infectious as he looked over towards the window and mused, crossing the room towards you, “How about that? It looks like we’ve got a winter wonderland on our hands…” reaching the couch rather quickly and setting his mug down on the coffee table.

 He slid in right next to you, his arms immediately wrapping around your waist as he moved to press affectionate kisses to your cheek, one after another, not seeming to want to stop as long as he had you giggling under him.  Finally, you pleaded through your laughter, “Joshy… I don’t see you watching the snow!” as he gave a chuckle of his own and teased, “Ohh, sorry about that, mama… you know how distracted I can get…”

You captured his chin between your fingers with another giggle, feeling heat rising in your cheeks at his use of the pet name which he knew always made you weak in the knees. “Seems particularly easy to get distracted around here….” you replied playfully, before pulling him in and kissing him fully, your heart fluttering at the satisfied sigh he let out against your lips. It was all so endearing, from the softness of his lips to the familiarity of his scent, which was spicy and comforting and floral all at once. There may have been a chill in the air that day, but in the warmth of Josh’s arms, with his lips against yours… despite the weather, it was undeniable— you were melting.

It would have been so easy to get entirely lost in the kiss, but he began to smile against your lips, and pulled back gently, offering you a cheeky smile as he teased back, “Careful, or I’ll get distracted enough that we’ll have to push decorating the tree to another night…” his words making you giggle and lightly, jokingly smack at his arm, chiding, “Joshua… you’re gonna end up on the naughty list….” giving him another quick kiss and a grin before wriggling out of his grasp to rise from the couch towards the large box of ornaments sitting beside the coffee table.

“Hold on, angel…” Josh said, standing up himself as you paused, turning to face him with a smile. He was looking at you with a twinkle in his eye while heading towards the record player set up beside the bookshelf, continuing, “Is it really Christmas if we don’t have the perfect soundtrack?” You watched with amusement as he crouched down to rifle through the large record collection that the two of you had assembled, a wide grin breaking out on his face when he found what he was looking for. “Nat King Cole,” he said with satisfaction, “...now, there’s a reason his middle name is King. And, well… okay, so it’s two reasons. The first reason is that it’s his name, naturally, but there’s also another reason… the big reason, the important one. And it’s that he’s the King of Christmas. it’s just that simple…” 

You found yourself giggling with affection as your boyfriend rambled on; it was one of the many little things about Josh that had made you fall in love with him. As he spoke, he stood from his crouching position to place the record on the turntable and lower the needle, and the cozy tones of Deck the Halls began to play in the living room— Josh’s handsome face illuminated only by the flickering light of the fireplace and the warm golden glow of the lights already set up on your Christmas tree. The light danced across his delicate features as he rose to walk towards you and the box of ornaments, and he offered another grin, asking, “Shall we get this decorating soiree started?”

You laughed again, unable to deny the way his turn of phrase and distinct mannerisms made you feel with your heart fluttering so distinctly in your chest. When at last he reached you and began rummaging through the box of ornaments, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. When he finally looked up to meet your gaze with a knowing half-smile, you tenderly leaned in to kiss him gently once more, before pulling back and replying, “Okay, now we shall,” which elicited a laugh from the man in front of you, his warm brown eyes sparkling in the low light as he replied, “A very important final step before we get started… my darlin’ is so thorough.” You giggled breathlessly at the affectionate nickname, taking his hand inside the box of ornaments and giving it a squeeze. 

Together, you began picking out ornaments and hanging them on the tree, from sparkling white crystal snowflakes and pinecones, to small figurines of ice skaters and Santa Claus, to childhood photos of the two of you in tiny silver frames— Josh insisted that those should be hung up beside each other, saying definitively, “I’ll need you to keep me company up there!” 

Between his jokes and your responses, Nat King Cole’s voice served as a backdrop, his gentle crooning making the room feel cozy and festive beyond belief. The reflection of the Christmas lights were twinkling in Josh’s eyes as he stole glances at you while you both hung ornaments on the tree at once, his hand coming to wrap around your waist for a stolen moment as he headed back towards the box to grab his next ornament of choice. Your heart stuttered deep within your chest, beginning to pick up its pace at Josh’s loving looks and touches.

It was when Josh’s favorite Christmas carol began, however, that he really began to focus his attention on you. The familiar swell of strings marked the beginning of Nat King Cole’s rendition of The Christmas Song, and as Josh crossed back towards you to hang a silver bell on the tree, he caught your eye with a smile, before beginning to sing along with the record. “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” You felt heat immediately beginning to rise in your cheeks as a look of joy appeared on your face. Nothing made you melt more than Josh’s voice. “Jack Frost nipping at your nose…” He gave you an affectionate smile while singing the lyrics, reaching out to tap the end of your nose with his fingertip at the end of the line, which made you giggle wildly. You reached up to grab his hand and pull it to your lips, pressing little kisses to his knuckles as he continued singing along. You were mesmerized, unable to tear your gaze away from him even if you wanted to. Everything about Josh was enough to light up a room, but whenever he decided on performing for you, even in the comfort of your own home— it was still always utterly captivating. He was breathtakingly talented, and unfathomably beautiful.

Gently, tenderly, Josh’s hand fell to your waist while he continued the song, the words flowing as smoothly and sweetly as honey. “Everybody knows… a turkey and some mistletoe… help to make the season bright…” He was beginning to sway you along to the music, and you were letting him— lost entirely in his voice, his loving touch, his gaze, in this moment that was beginning to feel dizzying in its domesticity. By the time the song reached its instrumental interlude, the two of you were slow dancing in the living room— your head coming to rest on Josh’s shoulder, face buried in his neck as he held you close, sweeping you around the room in slow circles to the piano instrumental. He was so warm, and you could feel the soft rise and fall of his breaths through the cozy knit fabric of his sweater. When you finally lifted your head to meet his eyes for the final chorus, the love you were feeling for him was almost overwhelming.

“And so, I’m offering this simple phrase… for kids from one to ninety-two…” Josh paused in his serenade for a moment to bring his free hand to cup your face, stroking his thumb across your cheekbone as he smiled at you with undeniable affection. “And though it’s been said, many times, many ways… Merry Christmas… to you…”

You knew you were looking at him like he had hung the moon in the sky for you… but, frankly, with the adoration in his eyes, it almost seemed like he’d truly have been willing to try. As the song reached its conclusion, you leaned in without even needing to think, capturing his lips so lovingly and passionately that Josh let out a soft sigh against your lips, struck by surprise and delight. You found yourself lost in him, lost in your feelings, as you melted entirely in his arms, his hand still cupping your cheek and jaw with unmistakable tenderness. By the time you two finally allowed your lips to separate, the next song had already been playing for what had surely been over a minute. After a breathless moment of collecting yourself that must’ve taken a few seconds, you managed to let your eyes flutter open, only to see Josh opening his eyes at nearly the exact same time— the sight making you giggle, your heart skipping a beat within your chest.

“Your voice is unbelievable,” you murmured, reaching your own hand over to cup his cheek in return, which prompted him to lean into your touch so effortlessly and subconsciously. Instantly, even in the low light, you could tell the compliment was making him blush, with his cheeks and the tip of his nose flushing a rosy red under your touch as he averted his gaze shyly, letting out a bashful, “Oh, god… Thank you… I think you’re unbelievable.” A smile crossed your face as he paused for a moment, blinking at you as if in thought before continuing, looking at you so lovingly, “I’m so happy we get to make Christmas memories in a place all our own this year, angel… you’re home to me, lover. You make it feel like Christmas.”

Truly, you couldn’t have said it better yourself. 

The moment was breathtaking. Josh’s words, his eyes, the glow of the Christmas tree and the crackling of the fire… everything was so perfect. Your smile, at this point, was entirely out of your control— you wouldn’t have been able to stop even if you had wanted to try. Words failed you for a moment as emotions swirled like snowflakes within you. “Oh, Josh… I love you so much.”

He was grinning at you, and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. When he spoke again, you could hear the affection in his voice. “I love you so much, darlin’. I’d lasso the moon for you.”

His reference to It’s A Wonderful Life made your smile widen even further—- something you had previously doubted was even possible. Your head was spinning a little from his romantic words, and when you finally managed to speak again between shy giggles, you teased, “You’re too smooth for your own good… but it is a wonderful life, Josh, because I’ve got you.”

Josh laughed a little, breathlessly, the rosiness of his cheeks still so endearing. You couldn’t resist any longer, closing the distance between the two of you and kissing him, so deeply and passionately that he almost faltered on his feet for a moment, his grip tightening on you to steady himself— and perhaps from a desire to be even closer to you.

When you finally pulled back, the Nat King Cole record still softly playing and your tree sparkling behind you, the two of you once again took a moment before opening your eyes. You found yourself lost in Josh’s warm embrace, the scent of him, the feeling of his heartbeat against yours. You were all his, and he was all yours. And this was only the beginning.

The words left your lips in a whisper, affectionate and gentle. “Merry Christmas, Josh.”

He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Merry Christmas, angel.”

//

A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone! If you enjoyed this, you can find my masterlist here and be added to my taglist here.

TAGLIST: @sinsofstardust @jakesguitarsolo @losfacedevil @sparrowofthedawnsworld @gold-mines-melting @texas-bbq-pringles @mountain-in-springtime @alwaysonthemend @tripthelightfatality @tommie-gvf @second-suns @runwayblues @shutupdevvie @godly-sinsx @sacredjake @ignite-my-fire @kiska-enthusiast @songbirds-sweet @rhythm-of-space @hsfallingsky @the-starcatcher @kenobicoffee @earthlysorrows @zm-gvf

[ficthots]

Uncharted Territory

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait. I hope this makes up for it. Josh and his assistant, badish boy goodish girl, fluff, angst, dirtiness. As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Part II

Warnings: SMUT. DNI if you are under 18. 18+ only.

Word Count: 16.9k+

There are a few things in life that just outright suck no matter the spin you try to put on them. Running out of gas on the side of the highway during rush hour because you were running late for work this morning and were stupid enough to say I’ll just do it in the morning. Sucks. Dropping your phone down four flights of stairs because you decided it was time to stop being lazy by taking the elevator every morning and just climb the stairs. Sucks. You know what sucks most of all?

Job interviews.

They were never fun. You had seen many videos on the internet about how to present the very best of yourself in an interview, sell yourself to whoever was showing interest, make them realize they absolutely needed you in their work force. Of course you knew how to apply all of those little quips and tricks into the interview process. Did it make it suck any less?

Nope.

Interviews were still incredibly nerve wracking. Feeling like you were going to stumble over answers, blank on the simplest questions, not know how to apply all of your previous job history to what you were trying to get hired for. Despite how perfect you were for this job, it still sucked.

One of your closest friends had tipped it to you. Saying that one of their friends friends was going to be interviewing to be an assistant to some guy in a band. That there were four members of the band and they were getting so big so quickly that they were all going to be needing their own assistant to handle their daily work loads. 

She had nudged you at lunch one afternoon with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, mentioning how she could get you an application and interview no problem. You had never heard of them before, immediately pulling them up on Spotify and seeing their monthly listener amount was significantly higher than you originally had assumed. 

It was exactly what you needed to get out of the hellhole you were trapped in now. Believe you me, you were well trained in being an executive assistant. It was what you were doing now, the only downside was your boss was a raging bitch. Your boss before her was not much better, but the experience you most definitely had. This could be your chance to break out of the corporate world of assistants and try something new.

What did you have to lose?

You submitted the application that evening with a resume and cover letter, not expecting anything to come of it. That’s why when you woke up the next morning and saw a message marked urgent from a name you were not familiar with, your stomach flipped. 

Opening the email and asking if you could make it to the first round of interviews the very next day, you were in a permanent state of shock. Agreeing, in a somewhat state of brain fog and letting your mind go to autopilot to handle the interview, it must have gone well.

So well, you were now sitting in round three of interviews after being informed that it had been narrowed down to two people per band member and you were the front runner for all of them. They would be the final interviewer and would be selecting their own assistant. 

Your hands were ice cold, but your mind was still nagging at you that they must somehow feel clammy, nerves wracking your body feeling like your bones were vibrating. Blood was rushing in your ears as you sat at a large conference style table, the view of Nashville quite breathtaking from the floor to ceiling wall of windows, but you were unable to truly take it in. There were five seats on one side of the table, one singular on the opposite side that you occupied.

It was like flipping a switch, putting all nerves at bay and standing as the door opened, offering a tight lipped smile, putting your hand out to give a firm and strong handshake to each of the gentlemen that entered the room. You only knew one, their manager, who had been at your other interviews.

The others were new. As you took them in, you made a mental note about one distinct feature of each to help you memorize their names as quickly as possible. “Mr. Frank, it’s a pleasure seeing you again. Thank you for seeing me through this far,” you took a seat as the others did as well.

He gave a beaming smile, tearing his gaze away from his notepad to catch your gaze. “Absolutely. Let me introduce you to these four. Directly next to me is Daniel Wagner,” he gave a small wave, noting his hair was going to be his distinct feature. “You can call me Danny.” You nodded politely at him, your smile never faltering. 

“Next to him is Sam Kiszka,” he was leaning far back in his chair, almost like he had been forced to be here and do this. He had a dog. “Nice to meet ya. Heard you are practically the best of the best so it’s gonna be a blood bath to claim you as an assistant,” you couldn’t hold in the laugh that bubbled from your throat at his nonchalant tone as he explained that to you. 

Your hands still resting on your lap, you nodded. “That’s very kind of you to say.” They all chuckled, Mr. Frank continuing down the line. “Next to Sam is twin two, Jake Kiszka.” Big hat. It was all you noticed about him honestly. Oh, and that he had a sort of pirate vibe to him. 

He offered nothing more than a slight hat tip and a small grin. You returned the same. Trying to match all of their energy that they were giving you and being a mirror to them was your strategy here. You didn’t care who you were assigned to as long as you were assigned to someone. Anything to get away from your devil of a manager now. 

“And all the way down there is the front man, Josh Kiszka. Twin one.” When your eyes locked with his, you noticed too many things at once to make a note of. You wouldn’t need to. You would remember him.

His eyes were bright and overly large as he peered at you. His cheeks were flushed with a light pink hue. His hands nervously played with each other as they rested on the table in front of him. His tongue continuously darting out to moisten his lips. His lips parted, a toothy smile appearing as he held a hand up in an awkward gesture. 

“Josh. It’s-uh, it’s nice to meet you. Aaron has said a lot about you, all good of course. We’re all very interested. Obviously, I mean in a professional way. Like we want you. As in for your work that is strictly professional. Jesus Christ,” he was speaking so fast and with each word his face grew more red in tint, his siblings stifling their laughter behind their hands as they watched him falter.

Mr. Frank’s hands came down onto the table, swiveling his chair from the direction of the boys back to you, eyes wide in amusement as he laughed. “Okay anyways. I want to first thank you for being so patient with the entire interview process. I know it can be draining and meticulous to do this and you have been outstanding, truly. This can be kind of a niche job and we wanted to make sure that we select the right candidates and that is most definitely you.”

Your smile grew as you thanked him, still remaining mostly silent to let him continue on. “Now, we want you to start as soon as possible. It’s my understanding that you’re currently employed elsewhere so you’ll be needing to put in a notice there, correct?” 

Falling into easy conversation about your notice for your current job, starting date for this position, and the mind boggling amount of travel that you would be doing over the course of their tour had your head spinning. Thrilled that they were so interested in you and that the shitty interviewing process was seemingly over had you trapezing on air.

As Mr. Frank set his pen down, he set his attention on the group, gesturing a hand towards you. “What have you decided?” They all spun around in their chairs, huddling together with their heads all bent in, whispering. The one with the hat- Sam? Damn it, that’s Jake, turned first giving a larger smile than before.

He had selected you. That was fine, you could deal with that. He seemed extremely lowkey and easy going. No problems there. Although, trying to get him to stay on task and get done what needs to be done could pose some issues. That’s what you were there for though, to ensure that he would get his shit together and done. What he wouldn’t complete you would do for him. It came with the terms and conditions. 

While your mind was reeling, already starting to go a mile a minute on what was going to be happening as Jake’s assistant, it came to a sudden halt. “You will be working with Josh. He needs the most structure and guidance to keep him on task and I feel like your personalities will really mesh well.” 

You subdued your surprised expression, keeping your face neutral. If there was anyone you thought you most definitely would not be getting assigned to, it was Josh. He could hardly look you in the eye and the boy was extremely jittery. 

When his beat red face met yours, you gave him a kind smile. It seemed like he needed it. You immediately reached into your bag, grabbing your card and handing it over to Josh and then proceeding to do the same with the others. 

“That’s fantastic. Mr. Kiszka, I look forward to working with you. On this card is my current contact information. I know I am Mr. Kiszka’s assistant, but please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. Mr. Frank informed me that I will be receiving a new phone with a new number so I will have that new information to you shortly, but in the meantime that is the current way to contact me if need be.” Mr. Frank’s smile grew as he watched how at the drop of a hat you switched into professional mode.

They all eyed you in shock, looking at the card in their hands like it was made of solid gold. Turning your attention fully to your new boss, you stuck your hand out, watching as he gingerly grabbed it, shaking your hand back. 

Cold. Nicotine use, you thought to yourself. It would explain why he constantly seemed flushed, but the circulation was poor in his extremities. You would get him on some vitamins to fix that, you made a mental note to start that immediately. 

Two weeks positively flew by. Packing up your office and hardly uttering any parting words to anyone, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders as you left the building. This next chapter of your life was going to be one you couldn’t wait to embark on. Subletting your apartment proved easier than you originally assumed. Where you would be staying on the few breaks that were scheduled, you would deal with later, but for the meantime, you were ready. 

Already having a copy of the key to his home, you sent him a fast text reminding him of your appointment with him that afternoon to start going over his schedule, so as not to frighten him when you let yourself into his home. When you pulled up to the curb, you noticed a white Jeep parked in his driveway. Only one car? Odd. Maybe there’s more in the garage. It is a three car garage. 

Walking up to the front door, you used the key, but noticed it was already unlocked. You sighed, shaking your head, but entered the home. It was beautiful at first glance. There was natural wood covering every square inch. The large living room was open concept to the kitchen and dining room. The back wall had large windows that showcased a woodland view. 

Continuing further inwards, your head inclined towards the hallway to see if you could catch sight of him anywhere. When he appeared from the oversized pantry, he jumped, hand landing on his chest. “Fuck! Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”

He laughed, setting down the bag he had in his hand onto the counter, you chuckled and held up your phone and key. “Apologies. I did text you to let you know I was on my way. You did say text was the easiest way to reach you, right? By the way, you need to always lock your door. There are crazies out there and stalkers and if they find your front door is just unlocked, they will enter.” 

Setting down your belongings at the dining table you had noticed was set up for your meeting, you continued speaking, Josh approaching the table to join you. Opening your planner, checking your phone once more to silence it and place it face down on the table, your eyes met his as you took a seat. 

He didn’t sit, instead offering a large smile, motioning to the house. “Can I give you a tour?” You immediately agreed, standing from the chair as you leisurely began strolling around the home.

“And yes, text is the easiest way to reach me and I saw yours which is why the door was unlocked. I forgot you had a key,” you nodded as you eyed some artwork that he had hanging in one of the hallways. 

Walking around with him was like getting a front row seat to his entire being. How and why he decorated the way he did, his purpose behind it all. He was a fascinating man you were quickly learning. 

Getting back to the dining room, you sat with a large smile and undid the cap on your pen, taking in a deep breath and smiling at him. “Well, Mr. Kiszka, I appreciate you giving me a tour. Your home is breathtaking, really. We should get started. We have a lot of ground to cover in two hours,” his hands enveloped a cup of tea he had brought with him, taking in a large breath as you dove in.

It was thoroughly exhausting starting from scratch with a new boss. Having to learn about their daily habits and quirks. What foods they preferred and when they preferred them. Understanding how often they were on their devices. Memorizing their normal routines and schedules. Honestly, exhausting. 

As you checked over your notes, sipping the glass of water he had gotten for you, it was about time to wrap it up for the day. “Okay, I believe that is just about all I needed from you today. I will be sending over that boarding pass and itinerary. You know I should probably do it now while I’m thinking about it,” grabbing your laptop, you sent the email at lightning speed, Josh’s eyebrows shooting up in surprise. 

“Is there anything else you’ll be needing from me, Mr. Kiszka? Of course, you can always text me, call me, email me whenever, but while I’m here,” your eyes finally looked up from your screen to connect with his squinted ones. 

Leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, he shrugged. “Actually, yes.” You perked, sitting up straight to give him your undivided attention. “We are going to be spending a lot of time together,” you nodded, listening intently to him, “so I would like to know more about you.”

Shrugging, you fought within yourself about how to word your response to him without offending him in any way. “With all due respect Mr. Kiszka-” he cut you off with a roll of his eyes and a laugh, “Please stop calling me that. No one calls me that. Really, even Joshua, my government name, would be better.” You tilted your head at him, a disapproving look on your face.

“Mr. Kiszka. I am your assistant, your employee, your go to gal for anything you need,” you took in a breath, trying to explain this to him in the most professional manner you could, “however; I am not your friend. I am not paid to be your friend. I think in order for this to work as smoothly as possible and to ensure I get my work done and you get your work done, we need to recognize this as a boss and subordinate setting.” A smirk was tugging at the corners of his mouth, nodding with a chuckle. 

His hands were folded on his lap, one leg crossed over the other, the dark green jumpsuit not long enough to cover his entire leg when he was sitting like this, your eyes narrowed at him. “No, I completely understand that. You don’t want to be my friend-” you held your hand up to him, one singular finger pointing up, “I never said I didn’t want to be your friend, but that this is only a professional relationship.”

Rolling his eyes again, an amused look took over his sharp features. “Mhm. Well, as your boss I would like you to tell me one fun fact about yourself. Can be anything. Just one fun fact,” setting your jaw at his words, you thought of the most surface level fact you could think of.

“I don’t have a favorite color.” His head fell back, a large laugh shaking his throat. “Bullshit! Everyone has a favorite color. Whether it’s one that you tend to gravitate towards or one that catches your eye more often than others. You most definitely favorite one color.” Shaking your head as you packed up your things, you didn’t look at him. 

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, your hands held onto the back of the chair you had just risen from. “No. I do not.” You offered a shrug, starting towards the front door, your boss following you on the way out. 

When you turned around as you reached the door, his smirk never left his lips. “I’ll find out what your favorite color is. I’ll be the one to discover it for you.” You sighed with a laugh, turning on your heel as you took your keys from your bag. “Have a good night, Mr. Kiszka!” You called over your shoulder, hearing the door shut behind you as you made your way to your car.

Seeing the small bag sitting on your passenger seat you cursed under your breath, grabbing it and heading back to the house. Trying the handle first, you groaned as you realized he hadn’t locked it. “Mr. Kiszka!” His head popped back out from where you two had just been, coming back to the entryway.

“This is for you. Take one a day, recommended with food.” His eyebrows furrowed as he pulled the bottle from the bag. “Vitamin B concentrate. What’s this for?” Your hands were clasped together in front of you, smiling as you explained. 

“Nicotine use, right?” He nodded, a sheepish grin on his face. “That’s what I thought. Your hands are always freezing, but you’re flush constantly. Poor circulation is tied to nicotine use. Vitamin B concentrate aids with many things, but circulation is one of them.” He looked floored that based on one previous meeting you had gathered that information about him. 

Looking at you dumbfounded, he laughed, shaking the pill bottle. “Okay. I will add this to my vitamins list.” You pointed at him at the mention of that. “Send me that list. When we’re on the road it’ll be my responsibility to ensure that you’re always stocked. Oh, and lock the door!”

Nodding at you, he held the front door as you walked to your car once again. When your name echoed out into the air around you, you turned to face him. “Next time, you park in the driveway, okay?” You shot him a thumbs up over your shoulder, thanking him as you entered your car, heading home to begin packing for a trip you were unsure how to pack for. 

Less is probably more, you thought as you searched through your closet. When your phone began ringing, issuing an alert for an incoming Facetime call, you sighed, grabbing it amongst the pile of clothes you had taken out to begin folding and packing away. 

“Hi, mom and siblings.” Their smiling faces met yours, your mom diving right in. “Okay, first day with the new boss. How’d it go?” You looked at the screen, setting the phone up on your dresser, facing you so you could use your hands while still talking to them. 

Placing one packing cube into the luggage, you shrugged. “Busy. It’s still the beginning stages so it’s just a lot of memorization and observation right now. Taking over their schedules, trying to notice every single thing about them. It’s taxing,” your mom hummed in response. 

When your sister's voice came through the speaker, your attention immediately focused on it. “What’s the guy's name again?” Your hands went to your hips, shaking your head with a big grin. “Nope.” Her and your brother's groans caused static to come through the speaker.

“That’s so unfair, birdie. Mom knows!” You laughed at them. “The only reason mom knows is because she’s my emergency contact in case something happens while I’m gone. Not only that, but she wouldn’t know them anyways.” Her face reappeared, glasses sitting low on the bridge of her nose, peering at you from over the frame. 

As your siblings continued arguing with you, your mom spoke up over them. “Where are you going first, birdie?” Explaining the travel plans to her and where you were scheduled to touch down first, your siblings would jump in every once in a while to ask that you bring them a souvenir from that country you had just mentioned. 

Family was important to you. The guilt never subsiding at you moving halfway across the country to start your own life and leave your mom and siblings back home. You missed it. Them. Everything. But this was good for you. 

You recalled being teased growing up for not breaking out of your shell. For being too serious. Memories of older family members asking why you didn’t want to go play with the other kids in the playroom, teachers being shocked at your education levels, coworkers not believing your true age. 

They called you an old soul. You called it having to be an adult as a child. Taking on more responsibility than a kid ever should, but that’s what happens when “dad” skips town on the family. Someone has to step up and help. That fell to you. It carried behind you as you molded and shaped into a young adult and then an adult. All of your professional positions were too similar to what you grew up with.

Dealing with it for years was far too much. Leaving for college nearly killed you, but it was what you wanted. Needed. Each time you spoke to your mom, your heart would ache and guilt would seep into the cracks of your soul about leaving them there alone. 

It would never get easier. 

Standing at the curb at the airport, waiting for their van to arrive, an older woman, a man in his forties, and another younger man appeared next to your side. “You’re Joshua’s assistant, right?” Your eyes peeled from your screen to fully take her in as she spoke to you. She must’ve been at least in her fifties, wearing clothes you had seen your grandmother in nearly ten years ago, gaudy glass jewelry decorating her.

The older man was dressed like a typical dad, in fact, he more than likely was someone's dad. He had a notepad tucked under one arm and paper tickets in his hand that had your eyes nearly bugging out. The younger gentleman was dressed incredibly well, but refused to make eye contact with you.

Nodding with your eyes slightly squinted, you held your hand out to her to offer a shake as she continued. “It’s nice to finally meet you! I’m Patty, Samuel’s assistant. That one is Bob, Jacob’s assistant. The one on the far end is Monty, he is with Daniel.” A smile took over your face at her, trying to bite back a laugh. It seems that they had all picked each other's assistants for shits and giggles.

Based on what you knew of them, Sam got the older woman because she was going to drive him crazy. He had little to no patience. Bob was for Jake, basically a parent to babysit him on the tour to make sure he wouldn’t die. Monty was standoffish and seemingly an asshole by the way he eyed you as you stood there. Totally offsetting the easy going nature of Danny. 

What was the joke with you and Josh?

You had no time to dwell on it any longer because the van pulled up, you staying off to the side as Patty and Monty rushed to the van to grab their people. As each boy exited the vehicle, you gave a smile to each, chuckling as Sam flipped Danny off as Patty handed him sticky notes with her thoughts for him. 

Danny awkwardly stood in front of Monty as Monty did not utter a word to him, counting the bags that got off for him before turning and handing him the luggage tag and asking him if he had received the itinerary information he had sent last night.

Jake gave a seemingly large smile to Bob, feeling happy that at least one of them got along well enough with their assistant. They fell into easy chatter about his baggage and flights today. When his curly head was the last to exit, you gave a small wave to him, seeing his large smile take over his face when he saw you.

“Good morning, Mr. Kiszka. I already took care of your luggage with the curbside attendants so when they remove it from the van it will be tagged and moved. Your boarding pass should be on your Apple Wallet. I did get the TSA precheck done for us so that is one thing we won’t have to worry about the entire tour. Oh, and we also have global entry for the international aspect. Your seat is 24A, I am 26A, within reasonable distance so if you need anything just give me a shout.” 

His smile never faltered as you shot out all of that information to him, giving a shit eating grin to Sam, who looked like steam was about to cascade from his ears. As you both approached TSA with the group, the confused looks of everyone else as you two made your way to the precheck line was gold. 

“Hey, how’d you do that?” Danny grumbled, reaching the end of the line as you and Josh kept moving forward, Josh’s loud cackle echoing through the area. You two reached the gate with a laughable amount of time before the others. Scanning the area, you knew coffee was going to be needed in order to get through the long travel day ahead. 

“Starbucks is down that way.” You smiled at Josh, pulling out your phone to reload your app. “Thank you. What can I get for you?” He stretched, shaking his head and moving in the direction he had just motioned towards. “Oh no, I’ll go with you. We have a five hour flight ahead of us, before a two hour layover, and then another three hour flight. I need to be moving,” you nodded, the two of you walking towards the coffee shop in silence. 

He finally cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable by the silence you were drenched in. “Have you ever been to Europe?” You shook your head, grabbing your wallet out of your bag as you two stood in line waiting for your turn, the app not working as your eyes remained locked to your screen. “Never traveled outside of California and Tennessee.” 

You thought you heard his jaw hit the floor at your admission. “You’re joking?” Fighting a smile, you shook your head again. “No. I never traveled with my previous bosses and if I did it was just inside state limits. I would take over their office responsibilities while they were gone wherever,” his hand rubbed at his jaw. 

“And nothing for personal travel?” Sighing and reading the menu, your head continued in the same motion. “Opportunity never presented itself.” You could tell he had a million questions, wanting to know all the details about it, but your saving grace was being called up next in line. 

He tried to start up again as you both stood to the side of the counter waiting for your orders to be called, but he was cut off by your personal phone ringing. You smiled seeing your mom’s photo take up your screen, turning your body away from him to quickly and quietly talk.

“Hey, I’m at the airport. Boarding starts in about twenty minutes. I’m waiting for coffee right now. Yes, I will text you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye, you too.” Slipping your phone back in your pocket, he had a smirk playing on his face. Your order was yelled out into the busy shop and as you grabbed it, his order right next to yours, you knew you weren’t going to be getting away from conversation with him. 

Josh was practically rocking on his heels, itching to speak as he sipped his tea. “Was that your mom?” His lighthearted tone had an excited, but jokey manner to it as you fought the urge to roll your eyes at him. “Yes.” What you could have sworn was a giggle came from his mouth, a large smile still plastered on his face.

“What’s her name? Tell me all about your mama.” He nudged you, eyes eager and hopeful that he was about to delve into your past and learn about you, even just a bit. Luckily, as you approached the gate, the gang was just arriving, all frazzled as boarding was due to begin in just a few minutes. 

Biting back laughter and sipping your coffee, Sam and Danny quickly approached you, handing their phones over, you looked at them confused. “Whatever you did to get you and Josh through, please do for us.”

Josh had approached the counter and when he came back over to you, flashed his screen towards you. “26B. Seat buddies!” You bit back a laugh and smile you could feel forcing its way on your face. He was going to be too damn much to handle. 

Why were you excited about it?

The first few weeks were a blur on the road. It was a life you had never experienced before. Going to bed in one city, working in another for twelve hours, and then repeating it over and over. The days all faded from one into another. 

It was enthralling. 

This was something you had thought of, envied others for actually doing. Never knowing what steps needed to be taken to get the plans in motion. Staring at plane tickets sitting in your checkout cart, waiting, begging to be purchased. To go someplace new, try something new, meet someone new. 

Now, it was happening. 

It was exhausting. 

You had never been so sleep deprived in your life. Between learning how to sleep in a bunk bed in a constantly moving bus, insanely late hours after shows had concluded, and being up to watch the sunrise more days than not, you were still trying to adjust. 

How long does it take someone to embrace and thrive on a new schedule? You were still trying to answer that. Learning the ins and outs of your boss was proving easier than you originally thought. Josh was a simple, but still a somewhat complex person. Being glued to his side for three weeks meant diving into the nitty gritty of who he is. 

His food choices were quite limited, not offering many options due to the restrictions he was under for his job. You figured he would consume quite a few adult beverages, but not near as many as you had witnessed so far. He required much needed destress and alone time that he would typically meditate or reflect during. Josh called his mom nearly every single day, even if it was just for a few minutes to chat and check in. While he had a phone and used it, it was nowhere to the extent of most people his age. He appreciated a good coffee and would do his best to find a new place to try in every city you found yourself in. He always invited you. 

Every chance he could, your name was slipping from his tongue, offering a spot for you to go with them to the bar they were going to be visiting after they finished performing. If he was venturing out to explore a city and wanted to visit a coffee shop, his eyes would fall to you, asking to be his company because everyone else was too hungover to be out that early. 

He had wormed his way in with you in ways you hadn’t even noticed, but he did. Being up somewhat early to sit with you in the bus, basking in the silence as you peered out the window in awe of whatever you were whizzing by. Sometimes working, he would remain somewhat silent, but always finding a way to bring some chatter between you both. All he wanted to do was learn more about you, spend time with you. That’s why he always extended invitation offers for anything he was going to do to you. 

At first, you politely declined each invitation. However, after one too many late nights working, you decided a walk to the coffee shop he described in immaculate detail sounded quite nice. A change of scenery from the inside of a tour bus or the same walls of a hotel room that you couldn’t identify out of a line up if your life depended on it was needed to keep your sanity in check. Josh literally jumped for joy right in front of you.

It elicited a laugh, which was not unusual. He had quite the knack for humor, people around him constantly clutching their sides from his jokes and quips. What made you laugh the most though, was his natural personality. He wasn’t afraid to be himself, no matter how ridiculous he appeared to others.

Admirable. 

“A large mocha please. Thank you,” as you reached to pay, Josh’s card slapped onto the reader, instantly paying for your coffee. Shooting him an unamused look, you grabbed your phone, Apple Paying him for the exact amount with a smile. 

Rolling his eyes at you, he placed his own order before accompanying you at the table you had sat at. He gave a large smile as he plopped into a chair across from you. Tilting his head ever so slightly, he took in the side of your face as you peered out to the street outside. Trying to place what city you had arrived in without being awake and present for it.

“Your nose twitches when you think,” you were startled by the voice breaking the silence you had been sitting in. Your eyes fell to the boy and slightly narrowed at him, a smirk tugging at your lips. “Does not.”

He shrugged, leaning back in his chair, still clad in loungewear, hair a poofy mess displaying he had in fact just rolled out of bed fifteen minutes ago and eyes set deep littered with exhaustion. “Do too. Oh, thank you so much, Maria!” Without another moment to respond, your coffee order was placed in front of you and the muffin you had been eyeing was there as well. Right in the middle of the table.

Knowing you didn’t place the order for the muffin, your eyes fell to the indifferent boy seated across from you as he brought the scalding liquid to his pursed lips. “Did you know her or something?” His brow furrowed, shaking his head as he set the mug back down, subconsciously pushing the plate towards you a bit more.

“No, why?” Shaking your head, you brought your own cup to your lips, eyes falling back to the bustling street outside. “You knew her name.” Still seeming confused by your response, his pinky finger continued to push the plate in your direction. “Her name tag was pinned to her shirt.” Nodding at his words, you fought a smile.

Of course he would actually call people by their names, even if they didn’t want it, which you could tell took the young girl aback. That’s such a Josh thing, you thought to yourself. The more you thought about it the more you realized that Josh always called everyone by their first names. Any chance he could, he would. You couldn’t count the amount of times you had heard him asking people for their names. 

And he always remembered. 

Josh picked at the muffin, popping a piece in his mouth, making a motion with his hand to you with expectant eyes. “I won’t eat it all. I mean don’t get me wrong it’s delicious, but too much sugar.” You fought the urge to roll your eyes, taking a piece of the crumble topping and placing it in your mouth.

Playing off how amazing it truly was, Josh’s lips fought off a beaming smile, a small victory in his books. It had been weeks together, every single day, countless hours, but he wasn’t making personal hedgeway with you. Professional? It was unreal how quickly you had caught on to his schedule and attuned your work to his. Personal? Not a damn inch. 

You ordered your coffee quietly, too quiet for him to hear the full order which was excluding him from being able to order it for you just once. He had no idea what, if any, family or friends you had other than your mom because you had no social media presence anywhere. Not the slightest inkling to what food you enjoyed more than others because when you ate it was opposite hours of him. Josh didn’t even know if you liked their music because you hadn’t attended one of their shows. Pre-show prep was far too hectic for you to pay attention to anything other than your duties and you slept while they performed, but were present again for post-show to ensure anything he needed was taken care of. Worst of all, he hadn’t figured out your favorite color because all you wore were neutral tones and all of your personal belongings you kept packed away so he never saw them.

It was driving him mad. 

In order for Josh to get along with someone he needed a connection. Anything. You were offering nothing. Even Danny was making moves with his assistant who was a complete asswipe. The woman who was old enough to be Sam’s grandmother acted like that. A grandmother. Jake basically had their dad on tour with them. But Josh?

Nothing. 

Your goal on the other hand was working just fine. Productivity was at an all time high, it was a side of life you never thought you would be able to live in let alone enjoy, and you got along just fine with your boss. 

Because that’s what he is. Your boss.

Was it difficult to continue hiding aspects of yourself and personality to keep the relationship with him strictly professional? Yes and no. Obviously you were giving some signs because you were munching on a blueberry muffin that you had thought you gave no indication that you truly wanted it. So of course there was some leeway, but otherwise it was working fine. 

In order for this to continue on the successful path it was, you needed to play by the rules. Did you generate those rules? Yes, since there were absolutely none laid out for you when you started, but rules were there for a reason. To ensure everyone carried on with their work in the most efficient way possible. 

Honestly, it seemed like it was the only way you were going to survive nearly a year on the road with them. If you started getting personal, it would only make it much more complicated and difficult to get work done. Keep emotions out of it.

That’s the key to success right there. Josh despised it while you thrived on it. 

In fact, Josh never played by the rules. Bed times didn’t exist, alarms were never set, naughty things spoken without a second thought, he was the literal definition of fuck it. Which you discovered the more time you spent around him and his siblings that he was the one that needed the most structure in his life. That’s where you come in.

Was that the reason you were selected for Josh? That was what Jake had said in your interview, but given the jokey nature of the others and their assistants there had to be something more.

Providing a daily routine, schedule, something to keep him going at an acceptable pace. Executing it in a way that he didn’t tend to notice, making him think that he was still playing by his own rules. No rules. It took some time to get used to at first, but now it was a piece of cake. As easy as could be. 

However, Josh was working you a bit, too. That’s why you were eating a muffin top, laughing with him about the mishap on stage from the night before that you weren’t there to see, but had heard all about it. He was going to crack you, he just had to make sure you wouldn’t notice it. 

The alarm went off on your phone just as you finished the last swig of your coffee, eyes going slightly wide at the message on your screen. “Alright, we need to head back. You have an interview with a magazine in forty-seven minutes with Danny and then we need to get you to sound check for the show tomorrow night because the venue is closed tomorrow morning. There was an issue with the manager and he can only be here today so it needs to get done today.” 

Josh’s deadpanned expression on his face let you know that he was not excited for what the day held in store for him. Sighing and tilting his chair back ever so slightly, he looked out the window, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Let’s make a deal?” Shaking your head at his words, you placed your empty cup on top of the plate that now only held remnants of the muffin you had split with him. 

Did you split it? Or did you eat it all? No, you could’ve sworn he ate some, too. Are the dress pants you needed pressed on top of the black suitcase or tan suitcase? Josh’s jumpsuit should be back from the cleaners today, Jake’s suit should be, too. Make a note to call the cleaners and check on that. 

“Unless the deal is getting back to the hotel within the next ten minutes and making you look presentable for the interview, the answer is a resounding no. You need to wash your hair today, by the way.” He groaned like a teenager being asked to take the trash out, head thrown back, adam's apple bobbing as the noise escaped him, arms crossed over his chest. 

Grumbling as he finally stood from the table and following you out the entrance back in the direction you had come from. Never asking what the deal was, the afternoon went without a hitch. The interview was quick and efficient, sound check practically the same, you found yourself laying on the bed in your hotel room, eyes drifting shut as the air conditioner rumbled to life. 

You could feel yourself slowly falling into the warm embrace of sleep, teetering on the edge of a blissful nap until your next alarm would go off signaling it was time to get back to your responsibilities. The pounding at your door had your eyes flying open, your body sitting upright on the mattress and turning towards where the noise had emitted from.

Tilting one head to the side and feeling some of the tension in your neck release, you pulled the door open to see a frazzled Jake standing on the other side with a twin in tow. Before Jake had even spoken, Josh shot you a truly apologetic look. “I can’t find my suit anywhere. We leave for the venue in twenty minutes and I have no idea where it’s at. I swear to god if it’s lost I’m going to lose my mind. I’ve been calling and texting you, are you not near your phone?”

Your brain was trying to catch up with how quickly he was speaking and process the information he was feeding to you. Josh’s hands went to his hips, shooting daggers at his brother, but took a deep breath to calm himself down before exploding on him.

“Relax. We’re gonna find it,” you fought the urge to rub at your eyes, grabbing your phone from your back pocket and seeing that you had nearly thirty missed calls and texts from all of the brothers and assistants. The hairs on the back of your neck stood to attention, feeling dread pounding into you when you realized how long you had been asleep and that you had missed all of these messages from your boss. 

“Jake, your suit? It was with the cleaners and I had them deliver it directly to the venue so we didn’t have to transport it. I always have Josh’s jumpsuits taken directly to the venue so we don’t have to worry about it and I had the same done for yours. I apologize for not informing you about that. I am also so sorry for missing all of your calls and texts. I fell asleep and didn’t realize how long I had been out. It won’t happen again, Mr. Kiszka.” You could see Jake’s shoulders instantly release the tension he had been holding onto at your words, a small breath of air escaping through tight lips.

Josh’s intense glare never left his sibling, stance still the same as it was. “Apologize to her now.” Your eyes went wide, instantly going to say otherwise and how it wasn’t necessary, putting the blame solely on yourself. Your boss's hand came up, halting you before you could speak up. 

“No, no. He absolutely owes you an apology. You asked her to take care of your suit because Bob was incapable of finding a good cleaner and she did. I don’t appreciate you treating her like you are. She was resting, she is allowed to do that because her services were not needed for,” he checked his phone for a fleeting moment, “sixteen minutes. She and I have a system in place and if you would occasionally like her assistance, you need to treat her how she deserves to be treated. Apologize. Now.” Standing there positively gobsmacked and unsure what you were supposed to be doing in that moment, you watched as Jake’s jaw set. 

A small expulsion of air left his nostrils as he turned to you, clearly unhappy with what his brother was forcing him to do. “My apologies. I was not aware of the process with Josh’s wardrobe and I shouldn’t have spoken to you in that way and made assumptions like I did. Forgive me.” You nodded fervently, hands clasped together in front of your body, nearly refusing to make eye contact with him. 

“Of course. My communication should have-” Josh’s hand went up again, shaking his head and cutting you off. “Absolutely not. Jake is aware of the process and it slipped his mind. You did everything right. Jake, go.” His twin filed out of the room, not looking your way again as he left.

The heavy hotel door shut behind him and in what can only be described as a word vomit, you quickly spoke. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I thought I just closed my eyes for a second and I have no idea how the vibrations of my phone didn’t wake me up. I assumed he knew that his suit would be delivered to the venue and I shouldn’t have made that assumption.” 

Josh’s sincere smile took over his features, waving you off. “Don’t worry about it. He’s being an ass because he and his girlfriend haven’t fucked in weeks and they’re fighting. He’ll give you an actual apology in a day I promise.” 

That was the first time he had stood up for you. It wasn’t the last either. Tough spats between siblings often turned to their assistants when in bad and annoyed moods. It was expected with how much time they were spending with each other.

What wasn’t expected was every time another assistant, crew member, or sibling tried speaking in a way that was anything but friendly to you had irked Josh in a way that had him standing up for you in any way he could. Everyone knew to only step on toes once because Josh would set the record straight thereafter. 

You weren’t sure how to feel about it. In this line of work, it was almost part of the job description to be treated subpar. Not in Josh’s job description. He was so grateful that over the first half of the tour you had been so amazing with anything and everything that this job could encompass, he felt it completely necessary to defend you. 

Compared to the others, you were a literal saint. You never strayed from your job and its responsibilities. He hardly ever caught you on your personal device and when he did, you were wrapping up a call with someone who he could only assume was your mother. Your entire life revolved around him. Of course he was going to stand up for you. 

His siblings teased him relentlessly for it. They said it was incredibly obvious he was in love with you. Entirely enamored with you. Sam claimed he had caught him on more than one occasion just watching you. 

His favorite tale was at a winery in Italy. You stood off to the side of the tour group, a wonderful sundress lightly fluttering in the breeze, sunglasses alternating from resting on the bridge of your nose to the top of your head, your skin glowing from the late summer sun. Sam and Danny nudged each other, snickering as they watched their brother. They said Josh stared at you with his jaw slightly agape for nearly fifteen minutes. 

Was he taken aback by seeing your bare shoulder for the first time? The puffy sleeve of your dress resting on the tops of your biceps. The neckline dipping dangerously low over the curve of your chest. A single gold necklace with a dangling pendant of your zodiac sign resting soundly against you. The dress hem resting midcalf, the most leg he had ever seen from you. He was just surprised is all. 

That’s all. Nothing more.

Did he think about that afternoon for the next month straight? How smooth your skin would be under his fingertips, igniting and bristling as he traced every curve and committed every feature to memory. What kind of reaction would happen if you started with secret touches shared amongst one another. What you would do if his hand found home on your hip in front of everyone. How you would respond to him maneuvering your head to the side, allowing him unrestricted access to the large expanse of bare skin, goosebumps erupting as his breath fanned along your neck. Of course not. Anyways, he would never admit it to anyone if he did.

Which he didn’t. 

It didn’t matter because in his mind you were in no way shape or form interested in something like that with him. No, you only viewed him as a boss. Your boss. The boss. It’s why you refused to divulge any information about yourself to him. 

Sure, after the incredulous amount of time you had spent together, he was going to find out some things about you. Like how easy it was to make you laugh. He had a knack for it somehow because when Sam tried telling you jokes they almost always fell flat. That you were a diagnosed insomniac and he could almost always find you up in the middle of the night with a sheepish grin as you read a book. Oh, and that you adored trashy literature. Your book fell from your bunk and when he picked it up to put it back, his eyes widened at the utter filth adorning the page. His cheeks burned crimson for the next week whenever he looked at you. 

But that was about all. It was killing you.

The more you got to know Josh and the more time spent together, all you wanted to do was share some personal things with him. Instead, you fed tiny insignificant tidbits about yourself to him to not only keep him at bay, but you as well. That you loathed socks, were an avid watcher of Star Wars and all franchise shows, and that you preferred tote bags to actual purses. 

You highly doubted he even remembered those things about you, but deep down you knew he did. It meant too much to him to not. Each time he would ask you to accompany them on a night out, it was growing more and more difficult to turn it down. The more time you spent with him, which was nearly every waking minute, all you wanted to do was spend time with him in a nonprofessional setting.

That’s not good. That was what you knew would tip the scales and everything you had been working towards, every boundary you had set, would be out the window. Being on the road was proving to be a lot lonelier than you had originally assumed. 

Of course, there was some basic understanding that because of the limits you had put in place with the band that social interaction on a more personal level would be dimmed, you didn’t think it would be quite like this. With the few lonesome hours that you did experience, while it was a blissful and welcome break, you found yourself longing for someone to share the time with.

Why was your mind wandering to Josh? You spent the most time with him. That’s why. No other reason. Imagining tracing the slope of his nose with the tip of your finger. How his plush lips would feel against the pulse of your neck. Teeth nipping at the skin and soothing it with his tongue right after. 

Knock it off!

It was rare. Having three days off in a row. No interviews, no sound checks, no duties that had to be taken care of during that span of time. Where better to have that happen than in France. It was actual heaven. 

Many moons ago, one of your closest friends from high school had gone off to college and during one of her years, had taken the opportunity to study abroad. You can recall spending hours on the phone with her listening in great detail to her tales and trying to picture yourself doing what she had done. Of course, a majority of those things you could never do, but one small story had stuck with you through the years.

She had described a small village in France, an incredibly sleepy town that was the quietest place she had ever been to. The food was indescribable, the city was phenomenal with mainly mom and pop shops, and overlooking the ocean from anywhere you could look in the town. You had been fantasizing and daydreaming about this village since she had told you.

Now, it was your turn to be there. Waking up with the sun, getting ready as silently as possible as to not wake anyone up, and trying to sneak out of the hotel room. You thought you were golden until you heard your name leave his lips. You jumped with a start, hand landing over your heart. “Jesus! Mr. Kiszka, good morning.” 

His smile never diminished, eyes squinting at you being fully dressed this early in the morning. On a non-work day. “Good morning to you, too. Where are you off to this early in the am? Running off and leaving us all behind?” You gave a tight lipped smile, letting the hotel room door fully close behind you, your back connecting with the wood. 

Checking the time on your phone, you knew you needed to get a move on. “Since it is my day off, yes I am.” Josh shrugged, bottom lip lightly pushing out as his eyes fell downcast, a sigh following. “Oh okay. Well we’ll be around here if you need anything. Don’t think we’re doing anything today really. Just wandering around. Anyways, yeah I’ll have my phone on me if you need anything. Just give me a call or text. Whatever.” Guilt was worming its way into your gut as you watched his mood continue to sour, sighing quietly and checking your phone again.

“If you can be dressed and ready within ten minutes you can come with me. If you’d like,” his head snapped up at you, eyes bright with excitement. He calmed down, cheeks turning a light pink as he turned from your smirking gaze. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your day off. You spend enough time with me as is.” 

There was that feeling again. 

Against your better judgment, it came tumbling from your lips before you could stop it. “No, I would love it if you would come. Really,” your smile grew at the end, seeing how excited he truly was to hear you say that. He was practically bouncing in his spot, joy seeping from him in waves. 

“If you insist! Let me just change super quickly and grab some stuff and then we’ll go.” You nodded, standing there waiting for the boy to reappear from the room directly next to yours. Nerves pummeled you, constantly checking over your shoulder to see if anyone was going to slip out of their own room and see you waiting for Josh. It was entirely ridiculous, he was your boss. No one would even bat an eye at it, but there was something screaming inside of you that this was going to be a bad decision. 

That something was going to shift today that you wouldn’t be able to take back. Maybe that’s what you wanted.

You didn’t have much time to dwell because he came bounding out of the room, green jumpsuit adorning his slight frame, hair a wild untamed ball, camera resting soundly on his arm. Josh’s eyes that once held your own fell down to where your gaze was currently sitting and he beamed at you. 

“I take it the jumpsuit was a good call?” You returned the smile, shaking your head as you began walking down the hallway. “Oh, of course. It’s just that’s what you were wearing during our first meeting. The color suits you very well, Mr. Kiszka.” He groaned as you entered the elevator together, turning to fully face you as it began its trek downwards. 

He placed both hands in a prayer formation, landing right under his chin, large eyes peering into yours. “Please call me Josh. While it’s just us today, okay? I won’t tell anyone. It won’t damage your resume, promise. Today, it’s Josh, alright?” You battled within yourself, gnawing on the inside of your cheek, forcing your mouth open, teeth sank into your bottom lip.

Eyes traveling up to connect with his once more, you let out a large sigh. “Just today. Okay, Josh?” He almost fell over as his name left your lips for the first time. In fact, he had no idea how to respond. Only nodding, swallowing thickly, he turned away from you, standing barely a hair from one another, his widened eyes stared at the elevator doors as they parted for you both.

His knuckles were stark white from the grip he had on the wooden railing that was around the entire metal box. Reluctantly letting go, he watched as you waltzed out into the lobby, second guessing every decision leading to this moment.

What the fuck had he done? 

The train ride to the town began as any other day would for the two of you. First, talking about the upcoming week and what it would entail work wise. Second, about what food Josh was hoping to find wherever you were going to be going. Third, Josh fiddling with his camera and talking nonstop to fill the silence that would linger between you both. 

You had gone through the motions within the first fifteen minutes. Then you did something entirely unexpected. 

“When we get there, can you help me find an antique shop or something like that? I haven’t gotten a gift for my sister yet and she’ll kill me if I don’t,” you chuckled at the end, peering out the window and taking in the majestic scenery zooming by. When Josh didn’t respond, you turned your attention over to him to see a blank expression sitting on his face. A complete deer in the headlights moment.

Your brow furrowed before realizing you had given him a fact of your life without even catching it. He cleared his throat, trying to redeem himself and play it cool, but he was about to bounce off the walls. “Sur-absolutely. How old is she?” He wasn’t holding eye contact, but you knew what he was doing. 

Fighting a smile, you turned back towards the window, chin resting on your palm. “She and my brother are twins. They are fourteen. I found something for him a while ago, but nothing for her.” Josh couldn’t contain his utter joy any longer. His hand went to his chest, pointing at himself. “Jake and I are twins!” 

Pretending to be shocked, you played into it. “Shut up! No way! I had no idea,” he rolled his eyes at your sarcasm, but a giggle flitted from him as his cheeks grew rosier by the minute. “Yeah yeah whatever. What does she like?”

You filled him in on all the details of your siblings, never revealing their names, the rest of the ride there. When you stepped off the train and got in a cab to get to the little town, and realization of where you were slammed into you, you couldn’t fight the tears that welled in your eyes.

Getting out of the car, it was like a burden had been lifted from your shoulders. The smell of the sea wafting through the air. The cobblestone streets that you had only dreamed of seeing and walking on. The locals carried on with their daily lives, where they were being of little importance to them. To you it was everything. 

It was the life you had dreamed of living. That once seemed so unobtainable, but now you were living it. Having escaped from the hellscape of childhood and young adulthood. Everything you had worked towards. It was here. 

A hand landed in between your shoulder blades, the cool skin signaling to whom it was pressed against the bare skin there. Offering a small smile to him, his worried look was plastered on his features. “You okay?” Taking in a deep breath, your smile continued to grow as you nodded in response.

“Never been better.” His face lit up at your words, immediately leading you towards the city center to start the day. Arm never leaving you, you wrapped your own through the crook of his elbow. Josh’s eyes nearly falling out of his head at the contact you offered him.  

It truly was one of the best days of your life. Sides ached from the amount of laughter shared between you two. Stories were given to one another about the tales of adventures shared with friends and family. Walking so close to each other you swore you could feel the goosebumps rise on his skin with each brush of your arm. 

Comfortable. Delightful. Electric. 

The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. The rays glistening and dancing on the ever moving water below it. Casting everything in its touch with hues of orange and pink. Complimenting all creatures with the sun kissed glow. The restaurant seated for amazing views of the coast. 

Sipping from your cocktail glass, you and Josh were cackling into them, earning stares from those occupying the tables around you. The view was breathtaking and you couldn’t help that your eyes would continue to wander to it whenever an opportunity presented itself. A lag in the conversation meant your smile was permanently stuck to your face, one of the best moods you had ever been in holding strong on you. The day had been beyond what you had dreamed of. 

The company wasn’t too bad either.

“Craziest thing you’ve ever done?” Snapping out of your own thoughts, you turned towards the boy seated across from you, hands folded on the table as he leaned towards you. Sighing with a shrug, you took another sip of your cocktail, shaking your head. “Good try.” 

He groaned, slightly leaning back into his seat, nearly giving up before he gave a hefty shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah I figured. It was worth a shot though. I’ve pushed my limits with you today. Not only that, but you’re a complete goody two shoes.” It was at that moment something clicked in you. 

After being so cold towards Josh for so unbearably long, just trying to keep things on a professional level, he had hardly ever pushed you to share information you weren’t comfortable with. Sure, he would annoy the hell out of you to find out any information he could, but he knew boundaries and didn’t push them. 

And you despised being called a goody two shoes.

“I took my moms car when I was a senior in high school and drove to Las Vegas with my friends during senior ditch day. My friend had gotten us fake ids and we used them to gamble what little money we had in the casinos and get drinks. We ended up so plastered we had to get a room for the night and put it on one of my friends credit cards. My mom thought I was just staying at her house for the weekend. That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever done. Oh, and I was high for a majority of the time.” Your eyes were squinted in his direction, challenging him, trying to read his reaction, his jaw hanging slack.

Who’s the goody two shoes, now?

He blinked multiple times, trying to come back to his senses before shaking his head, a loud laugh shaking his entire body. “Holy fuck! That’s actually insane. Did your mom notice the miles on the car?” Finishing off your drink, you thought about that. “You know, I actually don’t know. If she did she never said anything about it. I never acted out or did anything so I think she was just happy I went and did something fun, but those days are behind me. One and done you know? She always used to say that her birdie needed to learn how to fly. I think that was her way of letting me,” Josh’s soft smile warmed you from your head to your toes, spreading throughout every limb, settling low in your stomach.

Tilting his head at you, his smile grew. “Birdie. Is that your nickname?” Your cheeks grew hot, not even noticing that you had let that slip. Only nodding in response, he winked at you. “I love that. It’s so,” his eyes continued to watch over you as his smile grew, “you.” You didn’t know how to respond, not knowing if it was a compliment or not, but Josh continued on. 

“Mine is nothing like that. Growing up in the midwest, underage drinking was the norm. It was how we passed time. Mine’s dumb compared to yours. I went skinny dipping once and got my clothes stolen by my brother. Had to walk over a mile home butt ass naked. At least it was summer though,” you were laughing so hard you had tears streaming down your face, trying to catch your breath.

Josh rolled his eyes at you, face burning bright red, arms crossed over his chest. “Yeah yeah yeah, whatever.” As you settled down, wiping at your face with your napkin, you felt a sense of boldness wash over you, speaking before you could think twice about it. “I’ve always wanted to skinny dip.” 

It was like flipping a switch. Watching as his eyes turned from one of joking to instantaneous mischief. Setting your now empty glass on the table, you began fervently shaking your head and a continuous chorus of no’s left your mouth. He nodded, entirely ignoring you and quickly standing from the table, the bill paid over an hour ago.

Dragging you through the streets, laughter bouncing off the surrounding buildings, you couldn’t catch your breath as his hand held a firm grasp on your arm. His chilly hand clamped to your forearm, grip never relenting despite the tiny fight you were putting up to actually escape from him. 

Unsure of where he was leading you, your head was on a swivel, trying to place your location, but it didn’t seem to matter because Josh seemed to know this place like the back of his hand despite never having been here before. When a small lake appeared, your laughter died down to giggles as you peered at the boy.

“How the hell did you know this was here?” A sheepish smile took over his face, cheeks going rosy as he bashfully kicked his leg around. “Walked by it earlier. Do you not remember that?’ You tried thinking back to earlier in the day when you would have made your way by this, but when you were about to say you truly didn’t it dawned on you.

Your mouth fell open and your palm landed on your forehead. “Oh! That’s right. We were going to the, the, the-” you were snapping your fingers, trying to place where you were heading before Josh cut you off, “the patisserie.” Your smile grew thinking back to the chocolate concoction you had consumed just hours before. 

Sitting on the grass with a sigh, you felt elated. “Thank you for coming with me. Seriously, I think you made the day ten times more fun than I would have ever had by myself.” He took the spot next to you, stretching his legs out with a groan, knee nearly knocking with your own, resting his arms behind him. “You’re just saying that. Trying to get in my good graces. I know your tricks,” laughter fell from you both as you nudged him with your shoulder.

“Damn right. Better give me a great performance review,” you two fell into a comfortable silence as the sun finally disappeared, only basking the area in a gracious moonlight that seemed to illuminate the entire area, reflecting perfectly off the calm lake water. 

Josh was nervous. He kept playing with his lips. Teeth nipping at them, tongue darting out over them, sucking them into his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was to ruin a perfectly fantastic day by frightening you off, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t do that. “Alright, what’s up?” You turned your head to look straight at him, catching him off guard as you did. Smile never faltering, trying to get him to relax.

Why was he freaking out? You watched as his eyes wandered your features, knowing exactly where he was going. That’s why he was freaking out.

You weren’t. 

This is your only chance to do something like this. Who better to do it with than Josh? Don’t be a coward. Just do it.

Standing from your spot, Josh’s fuzzy brows drew together as he monitored your movements. Stepping out of the sandals you had worn, undoing the zipper on the side of your dress, you watched as Josh’s eyes grew as wide as saucers, truly rivaling the moon. He started to stutter, sticking his hand out to stop you from stepping out of the fabric.

“Oh my god, no no. I was totally joking,” you beamed down at his nearly frightened features, skin burning at the contact of his fingers wrapped around your wrist. “I wasn’t. I’ve always wanted to skinny dip. Either you can join me or you can watch or you can turn around and face the trees to not see me,” with his hand still around your wrist, you finished removing the dress from your figure. 

It fell in a pool around your feet, eye contact never breaking with him. Watching his adam's apple bob in his throat, breath stuttering, hands having a slight tremble. He was terrified to look down, to see you in a light he hadn’t before.

Standing only in your panties and bra, your breathing was more even than you anticipated. It felt right. Like this was meant to be happening. Here. With him. 

It feels right.

Walking away from him, your hands went behind your back, unclasping your bra, the straps fell down your arms. Tossing it to the side, you stopped on the edge of the water. Taking a deep breath, you lifted one leg, stepping out of the panties and removing them from your boiling skin.

It took every ounce of courage you had to turn your head over your shoulder and look to the stunned boy still sitting in the grass. The moonlight was basking you in an aura he had only dreamed of. Turning to stone as he sat mesmerized by your utter beauty, unsure of what he should have been doing at that exact moment.

The question answered for him as your singsong voice rang out into the still air. “Are you coming or what, Josh?” Realizing at that second that he wasn’t dreaming, that you were real and standing before him in the way you were was almost too much to handle. 

Moving to autopilot he hastily stood, undoing the buttons of his jumpsuit, leaving the article of clothing right next to yours. Watching in awe as you moved into the water, laughter and giggles flitting out into the night. 

As he became fully nude, you had turned in the water, letting it approach your chin, monitoring every movement that he made. Despite every time you had thought about this moment, the nerves you thought would be coursing through you, it wasn’t like that at all. 

Basking in comfort, enthralled that you were doing this with him, contentment with how the day had gone. What a beautiful way to end the day.

Swimming out to meet you in the lake, his teeth chattered, the cool water embracing you both despite the sweltering temperatures that the day had held. Your hair was drenched, the water droplets dripping down your face as you beamed at him.

“Thank you for doing this with me. Total bucket list thing right now,” he laughed, moving slightly closer to you as he did. “I’m glad I could be here to influence you in this way. Time for you to act out a little. How does it feel?” His excited eyes greeted yours, truly interested in your response.

Something changed in that instant. The giggles had died down, instead a heat had replaced it. Your smile didn’t falter, but you felt a more serious nature take over. Nodding your head in response, you crept closer to him, your voice whispering out into the air between you both.

“Really good.” Josh felt it too. An intensity he hadn’t been expecting. One that he felt you were acting on, wanting to embrace this. With him. 

Deciding to not let logic and rules define you in that moment, you closed the gap between you two. It was incredibly soft, gentle, exploratory. His tender lips cradled yours, hardly applying any force. Afraid that if he pushed too hard it would scare you off.

Letting your arms circle around his neck, your bodies connected, igniting every nerve ending you had. Josh’s hands splayed across the bare expanse of your back, leaving the water with a splash as he held you for the first time.

Deepening the kiss, your mouth opened for him, letting your tongues brush against each other. Unable to hold in the small whimper at the blissful feeling, Josh took that as a positive sign. 

You were needing this, craving this, just as much as he had been. When he felt your fingers tangle in his damp locks and lightly scratch his scalp, tugging right after, he pulled you closer to him. There was little space left, but he wanted none. 

Noses hitting, breathing growing heavier, Josh’s hands moved from your back to under your legs. The underside of your thighs were gripped by his fingertips, motioning for you to wrap your legs around his waist. 

Immediately, you did. The tip of his cock brushed against your bare core, eliciting a strong gasp from you. Just the small contact had you desperate for more, butterflies filling your lower stomach, heat coursing through you. 

Your skin was positively on fire, never wanting this contact with him to end. As Josh went to exit the lake, you still wrapped securely around him, you quickly detached. 

Moving to where your clothes were haphazardly thrown onto the grass, you grabbed both items and laid them out for you to lay on, some barrier between you and the ground. When you were on your back, staring up at the boy whose gaze was one you had never experienced before, it was unlike anything you had ever seen before.

The moonlight held him in such a gorgeous glow, illuminating his wet and glistening skin. His hair was dropping into his eyes, but his veiny hand pushed the locks out of his line of sight, not wanting anything obstructing his view of you. Dazzling smile greeting you, lips darker than normal due to the chill he felt and the nature of which they had just been involved in. The droplets falling off of his skin onto you below him cause a sense of jealousy to erupt in him. How unfair that they were able to touch you and be one with you when he couldn’t. He didn’t want to waste any time with you, dipping his head down and connecting your lips once again.

Your budded nipples were achingly hard under his hands. They tweaked and teased you, back arching into his grasp, positively desperate for more from him. With each movement he did, you could feel him brushing against you.

It was driving you mad. Your hips were bucking to connect with his. Stilling as his lips suckled around one of your breasts, a shaky moan attempting to escape your throat. He matched his motions on the other, never neglecting the opposite as he did.

His lips landed in the valley between your breasts, placing deep, chaste kisses down your sternum, stomach, hips, and thighs. Hands held firm to your waist, not wanting you to slip away from him. Terrified that this was a far too realistic dream. Where he would wake up like a horny teenage boy after a wet dream.

Yet as his eyes connected with yours, breath fanning across your core, he knew it was reality. Flattening his tongue on your core, your head fell back. Back arching off the ground as he began eating you like a starved man.

Like this was all he needed to survive. What he had been fantasizing about. Trying to imagine the taste of you, nothing could even compare to what was landing on his tastebud’s. Eyes rolling into the back of his head, the sounds coming from you stirred him on. 

Wanting nothing more than to taste your release on him, he lapped at you, sucking your bundle of nerves into his mouth and holding it there, sending you over the edge into a mumbling mess.

When he came back up face to face with you, the tears that escaped from the corners of your eyes worried him at first, but quickly diminished as your hands landed behind his ears, dragging you to him. Teeth nearly clacking together, his breathing grew more uneven.

Your hand went between your bodies, leading his throbbing cock to your soaked entrance. Connecting your eyes once more, he wanted to be sure. Not wanting to taint anything between you both. 

“Are you sure?” Not a moment of hesitation, you responded with a breathless yes, sealing it with a small peck. Josh couldn’t wait a second longer, letting his tip enter you. Taking it inch by inch, you welcomed him with no fight. 

Josh’s pace was slow and deep, wanting to savor this. As your legs hiked around his waist, your lips never parted with each other. Pants and moans mixing together, breathing the other in, head dizzy with arousal.

You had never felt so welcomed and embraced with someone as you had with him. This was everything you had been thinking about since you had first seen him. Knowing him, growing closer with him, anything with him. 

He made you feel wanted and despite all your attempts of keeping him out, keeping him complacent, it was all for not. Josh was a force that you couldn’t fight, didn’t want to fight. Wanting to fall into him, let him know you inside and out, it was pointless to go against it.

But you had to. Just not at that moment. No, in this moment you could accept it, envelop in it, rejoice in it. Letting him treat you like the almighty being he wanted to. Walls crashing down for just a bit. Right now, it was all about you two mingling together. 

White hot heat flashed behind your eyes, body contracting as your orgasm flooded your senses. Tense muscles crushing Josh to you as he emptied out in you momentarily after you. His body shook with pleasure, whimpers falling against your lips as you attempted to catch your breath. To come back down from the intensity of the evening.

Savoring in the closeness for now. For now. 

The train ride back into the city was incredibly peaceful. You sat next to Josh the entire ride home, head resting on his shoulder, drifting in and out of sleep after he whispered to you that it was too late to be up and to rest. 

So, you did. At one point, his own head rested on your own, his warm cheek pressed against the crown of your head, his breath spanning across the top of your hair. When you woke up and saw both of your fingers entangled together, you almost didn’t want to reclaim your own hand. It felt right. 

It shouldn’t have.

That’s why the moment you stepped off the train, it was a sense of dread sitting heavy on you. It was like everything and anything that could have changed, did. Stepping towards your hotel room door, Josh’s hand gripped your waist, spinning you back towards him and colliding his lips with yours.

You didn’t fight, argue, try to stop it. Sinking into it, him. Letting your lips mesh together in a way that was a sense of comfort and security. Him letting you know that this was where you were meant to be. Something you had never felt before. You didn’t want to feel it. You couldn’t. 

That’s why when you two separated, him going into his room and you yours, you laid flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Tears slowly trickled from the corners of your eyes, hand clamping down over your mouth to silence any noise that could have been coming from you. 

You had known it from the minute you had seen him. It was going to end poorly. If you were anything other than extremely professional, setting firm boundaries, not allowing him any way in, it was going to end up a complete shit storm.

It was on the horizon. The gorgeous skies that seemed as though they were hand painted by the most talented artist you had ever seen before the black clouds would roll in, wreaking havoc on anything in its way. You were slowly watching it morph and change the aura around you. 

He had captivated you, drawn you in so quickly. The most interesting being you had ever encountered. Wickedly talented beyond measure. A careful and caring being, wanting to cause no harm, only leaving a trail of happiness and good behind him. He did. 

Staying away from him and the true being he was, was torture. He wanted to know you, see you, embrace you. Love you. You could feel it, see it in his eyes. The way he admired you, gazed at you, he just didn’t want to frighten you off. 

This had to be the only encounter that you experienced with him. Anything more would mangle and wreck you both. This was already going too far too fast. 

Hearing and feeling the vibrations of your phone, you tried to ignore it given the incredibly late hour, but decided that if it was work related you needed to answer. Grabbing the device and seeing your moms photo filling up the screen you groaned, knowing you were in no condition to speak with her, but remembering that it was a rare chance when you could actually talk to her. 

“Hi mom!” You tried to sound as cheery as you could, knowing your mom bought it when her chipper voice echoed out into the room. “My birdie girl! How is my little globetrotter? Are you working hard? Have you been eating? What time is it there? Are you supposed to be sleeping right now?” She left little room between her sentences to give an actual response, but as you answered her plethora of questions, you felt your chest growing tighter, knowing that morning was growing closer and closer. 

You made a decision that night. Carry on like normal. Act like nothing had happened and continue on with life, living like one of the best nights of your life had actually never occurred. A figment of your imagination. No matter how bad it hurts. 

He was waiting for you the next morning, bright and early knowing you were going to go for a little walk. It scared the ever loving shit out of you, jumping nearly ten feet in the air. “Jesus! You have got to stop doing that,” you chuckled, hand landing over your heart.

“Apologies. I was just thrilled to see you this fine morning,” and he truly looked as though he was. His eyes were slightly hooded as he peered at you. Cheeks a light pink. Hair somewhat smoothed down, but still a disheveled mess. Same outfit adorned as always. 

Your pulse was a million miles a minute as the smell of his cologne flooded your senses. Needing to nip this in the bud and quickly, you spoke up. “That’s very nice of you, Mr. Kiszka. I should be back around eleven this morning. If you need anything in the meantime please feel free to text me.” Offering as pleasant of a smile as you could, you watched as he rolled his eyes.

“I thought we were past that.” Your brows quirked, trying to play the part of not understanding why the nature of your relationship would have changed. “Mr. Kiszka, with all due respect, you are still my boss. What happened last night was out of line for both of us and I think that we should act as though it didn’t happen. Please.” 

Your eyes held his stare, seeing the expression of bewilderment take over his features. “Are you joking?” Shaking your head, he moved away from you, staring as though you had scorned him. Perhaps you had. “I thought-I thought that we had made some serious progress yesterday. That we were moving in a better direction for us,” his hand moved between you two. 

You fought the nerves vibrating in you as you stood strong. “I apologize if that’s the message I displayed to you yesterday, but no. I would prefer if we could remain the same. Strictly professional.” His jaw hung slack, eyes growing wider at your words.

His hands rubbed at his eyes, a harsh laugh escaping his lips. “This has got to be some sort of fucking joke. Birdie, I cannot just forget what happened yesterday!” You winced at his tone, hearing the intensity setting in it. “I know it meant a lot for you, too. Don’t pretend like it didn’t.” 

He was reading you and he was doing it well. Sighing, despite every instinct in you screaming to just fall into it, let it happen between you two, you continued to hold strong. “No. I apologize for letting things get too far.” 

Staring at you in utter disbelief, every emotion displayed across his face. “So that’s it? Not even friends?” Hesitating, only briefly, you shook your head. He wasted no time, pushing past you and going back into his hotel room.  

The rest of the day was spent miserable alone. Wandering the streets until eleven, just as you had stated, was unenjoyable. Your mind was rushing, wondering if any chance of a normal relationship with him had gone out the window. 

Regret. 

Standing in the lobby the next morning, you were exhausted. Hardly having slept the night before didn’t matter when you needed to work. Waiting for the group to emerge with their own luggage in tow, ready to head to the next location. It was best to use one of the free days for a travel day. It got you there sooner and gave you an extra day to explore a new place. 

They were easy to spot and hear, their own assistants and other tour employees following in tow. You offered a tight lip smile, clutching your planner to your chest, breath stuttering in your throat. You had to do this. 

It was the only thing that would make this work. Stick to the plan. Don’t give up. It’ll go back to how it was. 

“Good morning, Mr. Kiszka. I have already emailed you the travel itinerary for the day, there is a coffee waiting for you in the van, and I did find you an extra phone charger since your last one was left behind.” A light joking tone came with your words, but as you spoke, Josh’s smile diminished the second he laid eyes on you.

This wasn’t what he was expecting. At all. Despite you having agreed that calling him by his first name was just for the lone day, he thought that after what had happened, you would continue to do it. That the cold and steely demeanor you had been using with him since the start was cracked and gone. He felt stupid. Used. 

Wrecked that what progress he had thought he had made with you would bring some sense of change. That you would feel more comfortable with him. Possibly even returning the feelings he had been fostering and harboring for you. Ridiculous. 

Only murmuring a thank you under his breath, he walked away from you quickly and towards the van. You sighed, eyes briefly closing as your thoughts swirled in your head. 

This was for the best. He’d get over it.

Turns out that Josh holds a grudge a lot better than you assumed he would. For such a cheery and pleasant person, you truly didn’t expect him to continue to practically give you the silent treatment for weeks. He refused to hold eye contact with you, only spoke to you for pressing work matters, the whole shebang. 

Thinking that this would make it easier, better even. Him only giving what you did on a daily basis. It was the total opposite. It was miserable. You dreaded getting up in the morning and having to deal with work matters. 

The following few weeks, you were at the lowest you had ever felt. Never having had a close relationship with a boss before, let alone what you two had done and said to one another, proved that your way of handling and dealing with things was the only way to make things work. Don’t get close. You’ll only get burned in the process.

Everyone else had noticed the shift between you two as well. Jake had tried bringing it up with his twin, but immediately was shut down. He relayed the message to the others not to bring it up, whatever had happened obviously still too raw to handle. No one enjoyed being around a grumpy Josh anyways. 

He would transform into a truly awful person to be around on a daily basis. His normal patient, wondrous, and joyous persona would disappear and morph into one of the complete opposite. Locking himself away in the various hotel rooms, bus bunk bed, not wanting to see or speak to anyone. No performance he gave good enough or to the impossible standards he was holding himself too. 

It wasn’t good.

That’s why when you were sitting at a desk in a hotel lobby, battling an airline over a ticket mixup, the spitting image of your boss in another life sat across from you, you knew what it was about. Hanging up the phone call with a sigh, you tried to force a smile on your depleted and tired features. 

“Mr. Kiszka, what can I do for you?” He removed his sunglasses, sitting them on the tabletop next to his resting arm and peered at you. “For starters, you can fix my brother.” Going to speak, he held up his hand, shaking his head. “Look, I don’t need all the details. All I know is that something happened between you two. It needs to be repaired because the way you two are trying to carry on is not cohesive for either of you. Just try and fix it.” 

Eyes falling downcast, you felt the weight of the situation sinking further onto you. “What if I say I don’t know if it can be,” Jake shrugged that off like it was silly to even suggest or think. “He likes you. In more than one way, which I’m sure is the root of this, but it’ll be fine. Talk to him. Josh, he-” taking a moment, rolling his eyes as well, he continued on, “likes to talk. Talk to him and get it worked out.” 

Standing outside of his hotel room, trying to muster up the courage to just knock, you were quite literally spinning in circles. Turning on your heel over and over, attempting to psych yourself up to just do it. 

Knock on the door.

The decision was made for you as it flew open as you lifted your hand to connect with the wood. A confused Josh stood on the other side, dressed like he was going to be going out. Instantly being able to tell you needed him for something. For what? That he didn’t know. 

“I thought we finished work at three today?” He asked, checking his phone for the time. It was far past that time. Shaking your head, you decided against what you were going to do. “Oh no, I apologize. It was for something else, but I see that you’re busy and heading out. We can do it later,” turning around to go across the hall to your own room, he still stood in the door frame.

He could easily tell how nervous you were. You didn’t hide your nerves well. Gnawing on your cheek, eyes constantly darting around, hands unable to remain still. It screamed at whoever you were projecting it to. In this case, Josh.

“No, no. I was just going to grab a drink.” Gulping, you began talking quickly. “Oh okay. I just wanted a quick second in private if you don’t mind. I don’t want to be a bother during your free time though so if you’d rather wait that’s totally fine, I understand.” His eyes slightly widened at your hastened words, holding his door open farther, a welcome to you to enter. 

You stepped in, seeing that the room was nearly spotless. Given, you had just checked in this afternoon, but still. You didn’t want to touch anything. Encroach on his personal space. Instead, you stood to the side, hands folded with themselves, trying not to look directly at him.

Observing you from his own spot, he was uneasy. Josh doesn’t do confrontations. Despite how much he enjoys talking and listening to others talk, he despises it when it’s negative. This wasn’t going to go well. He could just tell. 

“I would like to hand in my resignation, Mr. Kiszka.” 

He thought he was going to fall over. Out of every possibility, every scenario that could have happened. This is not what he was expecting. At all. Entirely floored, staring straight at you with his jaw slack, he started shaking his head. 

“No. Absolutely not. You can’t.” You had never felt such dread when quitting a position before. Normally, they were exciting. On your way to the next best thing. This was different. It was the best job you’d ever had with the best boss you’d ever had. 

It was killing you. 

“I think this is for the best. I can be around for as long as necessary until you can find a replacement and I will train them if needed.” Josh sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, rubbing at his face. “We never should’ve slept together. Everything was going great. God, I regret that.” 

He wasn’t expecting your laugh to echo in the room. Snapping his head up at you, he was greeted with your smile and accompanying laugh. “I don’t. It was amazing. The entire reason I’m handing in my resignation is because I cannot continue to do my job and be in love with my boss.”

Watching as his face went blank as you continued talking, you had no idea what he was actually thinking. Since he was a person who wears their emotions on their face, when he went emotionless like this, it was even more nerve wracking. 

Uncharted territory. 

“I have fought it since we met. Seriously, the moment I saw you I knew this was going to be trouble. The more I got to know you, the more I fell for you. Keeping my professionalism and decorum has been so damn difficult because of you. And-and then we had that day together and it was incredible. I love you, Josh and I cannot keep working for you while I feel like this. It just can’t work because-” you didn’t get to finish before Josh was propelled up from his spot, hands cupping your cheeks as he pulled you to him.

Lips connecting in a messy and needy encounter, pawing at one another to get as close as possible. This wasn’t like the last time. This was desperate, angry, and resentful. Apologetic. 

Hardly finishing undressing before he was in you, hopelessly pounding you into the mattress below him. Unrelenting, a pace that knocked the wind out of you with every thrust. Unable to think about anything else other than Josh, Josh, Josh. 

He became your entire being at that time. Only allowing your thoughts to be riddled with him. No other noise allowed except his name falling from you like a prayer. 

How could you think of anything else when the man that was Josh was around. How stupid.

When you both had finished, his hands released their punishing grip on you. His fingertips left indents in your skin, sweat beginning to pool on his brow. Instead, his lips landed on each mark he had left on you. A searing memory of him. 

One you wouldn’t forget for a long, long time. 

Not wanting to break the peace that sat over the room. Too much left unsaid, but not willing to jump in right away. Wanting to bask in the comfort that followed him like a security blanket. 

Instead, you stared at Josh from the spot next to him in bed, you smiled at him. “I really do have to quit, Josh.” You finally spoke, wanting to establish some sort of boundary before moving forward together. 

He shrugged you off like you were batshit crazy for even suggesting that. A hint of mischief entered his eye before shrugging. 

“Not even on the table. Forbidden love. It’s totally hot. Let’s see how much we can get away with before people notice,” your laughter shook your body as Josh leaned down over you, connecting your lips together as laughter flowed between you both.

Being bad sounded like fun. As long as Josh was by your side to do it, it would always be fine. 

[fleet-of-fiction]

Josh Kiszka // Female Reader

Summary: A chance encounter in the kitchen in the middle of the night turns your insomnia into an erotic feast.

Warnings: 100% smut. Oral. Use of food in sex.

The kitchen light flickered on softly. You lift your head up from your book, spoon lilting softly on your bottom lip as you linger on the taste of chocolate ice cream.

Josh is standing in the hallway, his finger poised on the light switch. Bed curls tumbled around his forehead as he rubbed his tired eyes with his other hand. His belly moving against his breath, the little V shape of his waist sitting snugly against the band of his underwear. Your eyes were immediately drawn to it as he realised you were sitting there in only the black lace panties he'd gifted you last birthday.

"You can't sleep?" He asks, the dreamy rasp in his voice commanding all your attention.

You slide your book aside. Leaning up to stretch lazily, you watch him pad his way over to you on bare feet. He smells like fresh linen as he swirls the bar stool you're perched on around.

"Something like that." You reply, slipping your spoon into the half empty tub of ben & jerry's.

Josh pulls you in lithely, bringing your breasts to the skin of his chest. Your arms tangle familiarly around his neck. He takes a moment to breathe you in, his hands on the small of your back sending shivers down your spine.

"Are you cold, Mama?" He asks, feeling your body shudder against his. "You eaten too much ice cream?"

He knows how your body reacts to him. He's always known. The way his touch brought you to a place you'd never reached with any other. With Josh, there was never a time when you'd ever welcomed him into your arms and not felt as if electricity coursed through your veins.

"There's no such thing as too much." You teased, bringing the spoon from the tub to his waiting mouth.

He took the ice cream gratefully, keeping his mouth open as you crush yours against his. You taste him and the ice cream, his tongue moving the chocolate into your mouth and turning your kiss into a dark mess. A quiet moan escapes your chocolate covered lips and his tongue probes further.

The bar stool allows you to meet his waist at perfect symmetry. Your open legs shimmy to the edge, feeling his growing manhood behind his strained underwear.

Those brown eyes are so serious as he looks you over. That vacant stare that was full of secrets had been the one which had reeled you in. Purposefully undressing you with them, tangibly calling to you to respond over a crowd of faceless bodies that had stood between you.

Perhaps it was the intensity of that look which kept you bound to him? Perhaps it was the way that he loved you so effortlessly in the transpiring months since that first night? Josh was an enigma. You were still discovering him, and it seemed as if every new discovery was more delicious than the first.

"Tastes so fucking good." He murmurs, taking your chin in his hand as he lifts your face up to inspect the mess around your lips.

He moves your head slowly from left to right, a look of satisfaction building in the way the corner of his smile turns upward.

"Yeah?" You clarify, letting him play with your mouth as he licks the residue from your bottom lip.

You run the tip of your finger through his moustache, where the ice cream has melted into the fine, coarse hairs. There's a playful edge to it as you giggle, and he falls into a shared laughter as you nestle your face into the nape of his neck.

"Don't you be getting all soft on me." His voice is low, urging you to cease the playful edge to your touch.

Josh had sensed your willingness to comply almost immediately. As if his burning intensity hadn't drawn you to him, it had been the way you threw your head back when you laughed which had brought him to you. And when he asked you to settle into a serenity with him, you held his hand and walked into that space with him so willingly.

"Soft?" You look him dead in the eye. "Soft, like this?"

His pupils dilate as you fill your mouth with ice cream and slink off the bar stool in one fluid move, your hands sliding down his body until your knees land on the cool tiled floor. Fingertips pull at his waist band, pulling down his underwear to reveal a hardness that springs free and rests against your flushed cheek.

You feel that hand at your chin again, tilting it up so that he can see your intention. The ice cream melts slowly in your warm mouth and he puts pressure on your jaw to open up. He nods slowly at the sight of it there, melting on your tongue as he angles himself perfectly against your opening. You feel his tip graze your lips as he sinks inside your mouth, the taste of his skin and the ice cream as you swallow.

"Sweet...fuck!" He hisses, "Shit, baby that's so fucking good!"

The way he speaks, so candidly and in a way only you get to hear, it makes your stomach churn with an anticipation that makes your clit begin to throb almost immediately. His voice is like velvet, sweet to you in the cold light of day. Speaking only words of love and affirmation. But in the middle of the night, he would speak in demonic tones that left your legs weak after the fucking he described to you first.

"Take it all the way back, just like that Mama..." He guides, taking care to hold your chin steady as you open wider.

His cock is throbbing, you can feel it in the veins as his blood pulsated through it and against the inside of your mouth. You still found yourself admiring it, the thickness of it, any time the opportunity presented itself. He liked the way you looked at it, marvelling at your eagerness to have it.

Sweet Josh, who he was in those moments which were littered with love and affection, could never have imagined having you like this. You had brought yourself to his attention with your effortless smile, the moment he realised you were sexually compliant it had been as if his love had known no limits. You were hooked. And he, without apology, was yours completely.

"You look so fucking beautiful like that." He told you, his eyes half shut as he rocked into your mouth.

You wanted to speak. You felt the words you wanted to say lose themselves as you lapped the flat of your tongue against his length. When you could no longer taste the ice cream, he pulled out and watched your swollen lips all pink and wet try to recover. He wiped his thumb across your mouth and marvelled at the sight of you down on the floor.

"Josh..." You said in whisper, rising from the hard cold tiles.

He hushed you before you could say whatever it was you'd intended to say. Lifting you effortlessly onto the kitchen counter, hooking fingers around the elastic of your panties.

"Josh, please..." You beg. "Let me tell you how I want it?"

He raises a speculative eyebrow as he tosses your panties aside, leaning in with sculpted arms on either side of you.

"Ok, Mama." He acquiesces. "Tell me a story."

You're his little pet in moments like that. He looks at you with eyes that could devour you whilst waiting for you to say sweet things to him. He rakes a hand through your hair and down your cheek. As if in that you're moment you are innocent of the thing you had just done. You like it, though.

"I want you to put that pretty mouth on my pussy." You say, trying to keep your voice sweet and feminine.

Your fingertip runs across his moustache and down the hair which lines his chin, hiding the little dimple there.

"And then I want you to start fucking singing on it." You add, circling for him to start opening his mouth.

Josh's eyes move down the length of your body. You move your fingers away from his mouth and start kissing him, the tip of your tongue searching for his. His breath warm and heavy in your mouth, almost as if he's held it and is breathing again for the first time.

"I want you to lick inside me." You manage between kisses, "Swallow my wetness and let me cum on your mouth before you fuck me."

Your attention is diverted back to his facial hair. "I wanna see this glistening, baby. All of it."

He doesn't wait to placate you. To tell you how your words fired him up. Your back is immediately on the kitchen work top, cool and hard like the floor tiles. Knees pushed up to the counter edge, his head between your thighs without warning. You lift your head to watch his curls move as he licks up your slit, taking in how he lays his head on your thigh and grips your waist to drag you to him deeper.

"Shit, Josh..." You moan, "Damn, baby. So fucking good..."

He's moaning too. A literal melody on your aching clit, the vibrations of his tongue reminiscent of the way you'd seen him hit those high notes on stage. You can't help but take a fist of his hair, forcing his mouth into you further. You feel his tongue inside your opening, doing exactly as he was told.

"You're so fucking good to me." You pant, trying to keep yourself from the orgasm that was building in the pit of your stomach.

Of all the things you had discovered about Josh, your favourite was the way your joy was his. He took delight in doing your bidding. Feeling your warm, wet pussy against his mouth was in turn, making his cock leak all over his inner thigh.

In the midst of your writhing on the kitchen counter, you hadn't noticed him reach for the ice cream. A sudden hit of chill courses between your legs as you realise his mouth is full of it, licking it into you and tasting both you and the chocolate. He takes you over the edge, sliding a finger into you to fuck you quick as you cum.

"Holy shit, are you insane?!" You laugh, feeling your body vibrate against the hot and cold sensations.

Josh is wiping the back of his hand against his mouth, a smug grin resonating.

"Do I get to fuck you now, Mama?" He asks prudently, admiring the sheen across your skin.

You slide to the edge of the counter, making sure to keep his gaze on your opening.

"Sure thing." You purr, pulling him into you. "Enough with the ice cream though. I want the main course."

He laughs at you, an almost silent breathy sound as he buries his face between your breasts and kisses the curve of them.

That night was never meant for sleep.

.

.

.

@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon y @char289 @dancingcarbon @gvfpal @violetstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @jazzyfigz @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire

[lipstickitty]

*all work is my own, and all 100% fiction. Everything is 18+ only, no minors allowed!! you will be blocked!!**

I Wanna Be Yours

18+ ONLY minors DNI!!!

Jake Kiszka x fem demon!reader

Warnings: this is filthy lmao, I’ll put more specific warnings before each chapter but absolutely let me know if I’ve missed any!

I’m updating as frequently as I can, let me know if you’d like to be tagged! 🫶🏻

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Standalone/blurbs

Crybaby

(Josh Kiszka x f!reader)

Josh blurb

(Josh Kiszka x reader)

Twisted Up In You

(Danny Wagner x f!reader)

Collaborations with @gracev0609

Between the Two of You

(Jake Kiszka x Chris Turpin x reader)

Between the Two of You- Pt. 2

(Jake Kiszka x Chris Turpin x reader)

Need You Close

(Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner)

Need You Close- Pt. 2

(Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner)

Need You Close- Pt. 3

(Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner)

Need You Close- Pt. 4

(Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner)

Get Your Blood Pumping

(Gym Josh x reader)

For the Fans

(OnlyFans Danny)

Dirty Love

(Josh x Danny angst)

Love Blooms

(Kindergarten teacher AU, Josh x female OC)

Whatever You Need

(Danny x reader)

On the Rocks

(Heavily tattooed/pierced Danny x reader)

Success & Sacrifice

(Blood magic Josh)

Peaches & Cream

(Roommate Danny x reader)

[abeautylives]

Times I Remember Well

(and Some That I Don’t)

Part 1

author’s note: I’m really excited to have something to share with you guys. It’s written from a diff POV than I usually do, but my main character girly pop has a lot of personality 😘 Big big big thank you to bff @samkiszkasfacialhair for all the help, the ideas, and the motivation 🤍

pairing: female!OCxkiszkas (just read it, you’ll figure it out)

time frame: 2010-2014

word count: 5.7k this part

warnings: language, illicit substance use, rampant teenage emotions and delulu, kissing, josh 🥺

I don’t actually remember the day I met Sam Kiszka.

Not the date, or even the day of the week. I do know what year it was, because it was the year my mom moved us to this quaint (read: weird) little town. Charming, but weird. And boring.

Boring, until I met Sam.

Eleven-year-old Sam was a menace, but twelve-year-old me was bored. So obviously, we became the best of friends. He taught me how to light a firecracker, I had an endless supply of Barbies to blow up. He showed me how to slip out of my bedroom window without making a sound, I told him how to impress girls without grossing them out. In our early teenage years, he introduced me to drugs and I taught him how to unclasp a bra. Chill out, it was weed, and I wasn’t even wearing the bra.

My mom just loved that I’d made such a great friend.

The first time I was allowed to play at his house I met his sister, who was closer to my age, but it was too late. Sam and I were already attached at the hip, though mine sat an inch or two higher than his for a couple of years, until a growth spurt and puberty eventually left him with the height advantage.

That was when he stopped calling me by my name, and started calling me Tiny. Like I said, a menace.

“You’re the coolest girl I know, even if you’re vertically challenged.”

Please note: the first time he said this to me, he had finally just surpassed me in height by half an inch.

Then of course, there were the twins. You’d think the eldest siblings would not have become a big part of my life, but they were just always around, and actually liked hanging out with their baby brother. Close knit family and all that. It’s weird, right? At the wise and worldly age of twelve, the two fourteen-year-olds terrified me. Josh and Jake were both scary in their own way to a pubescent girl on the cusp of teenager-dom. Jake was pretty quiet, but his ego was not. He was hot, okay? In like, a Justin Bieber-y way but also kind of a jock-y way, but a jock with a guitar. Whatever, I’m only human.

Josh was… well, Josh was Josh. Unlike anyone else I’d ever met, and not necessarily in a good way. He was loud, like, all the time. He never seemed to stop talking and ended most of his sentences at an eardrum-piercing decibel level. Fortunately, or not, he didn’t get hot until I was old enough to obsess over it.

I’m sure I didn’t speak a coherent word to either of them the entire first year of my friendship with Sam.

I have a million memories of the time I spent with Sam and his family, but I have no recollection of the day I fell in love with Josh Kiszka.

But once I did, it was a deep, obsessive kind of love that only a teenager can achieve. One day he was my best friend’s eccentric older brother and the next…

Well, the next he was a rockstar.

I mentioned the whole jock with a guitar thing that Jake had going on, and that really hadn’t changed, but somewhere along the way Josh had transformed from a loud, annoying theater kid to a genuine, full blown vocalist. I mean, for a while he was both.

When they first started playing together, I only gave a shit because they’d roped Sam into it too and it took up way too much of his time. I’d watch them play, and they weren’t… bad? They weren’t good either. My time could have been better spent watching R rated movies (scandalous) or, I don’t know, doing my homework. But nope! We were in a band now.

They practiced, a lot. It felt like all they did was practice, for at least a couple years. And I just watched dutifully, every weekend of every month of every year. They did get better.

But here’s the thing. I was there for all of it. I was there the day Jake ran into the living room and snatched Sam up by the back of his shirt. Come on Sammy boy, we need you on bass. I was there the day their buddy Kyle sat down at the drum kit and completed the ensemble. (I was also there the day he got replaced.) And of course, I was there the day Josh pushed his voice past the instruments and the amps, and went from a weak imitation of a rock singer to something else all together. Something totally and completely him.

That’s not the day I fell in love with him (I would’ve remembered), but it was the first time he had ever… impressed me. And not that I cared, but Jake was impressed too. I saw it on his face.

It was cute. In like, a sweet, brotherly way.

Okay, anyway! The combination of Jake’s skill and Josh’s raw talent got them noticed. (Sammy’s talent would develop over time, I didn’t forget about him. Sam, you’re the most talented one in the band.) And then they were playing actual gigs. I wasn’t allowed to go to most of those early ones, because for some reason these dive bars were permitting these pint sized, teenage Zeppelin wannabes to perform at them. Old people like our parents loved that shit. The locals went crazy for it.

They played Fischer Hall a couple times, right there in town, but around their third or fourth gig there, Josh had unbuttoned the flowy, floral, women’s blouse he was wearing and took to the stage with it hanging open, beaded necklaces draped down his bare chest and curly hair wild.

Why was he sort of… ripped? How had I never noticed? Were his pants always so tight? And low cut? I was sweating. I didn’t even know he was literally cosplaying Robert Plant.

Did I fall in love with him that night? Of course not, I already told you I don’t remember the day that happened.

The Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I left my house around 8:30 to head to Sam’s. To my mom, this was an average Saturday night - I spent nearly all of them at Sam’s house, where his parents were always home. Ya know, or so mine thought. Whether the Kiszkas were actually home or not, we hung out in the garage.

That’s not as weird as it sounds, it was a really cool garage. With furniture and everything. And their instruments, a lot of them. I don’t know how every one of these guys knew how to play every instrument packed into that room, but they did. And by the time I was sixteen, they were really almost good at it.

(Jake was good. Very good… I told you he was hot.)

This particular Saturday though, this was going to be the Saturday that changed my life. And I wanted to dress the part.

In hindsight, I wore something I’d probably worn a hundred times. Then why had it taken me so long to get ready? I changed my jeans twice, my shirt at least ten times, added a sweater, threw it back on my bed, added a flannel, tossed that to the floor. Picked it back up and shoved my arms in, made sure it hung off my shoulder just so. Shoulders are sexy, right? Do guys like shoulders? Oh shit, what do guys even like?

Anyway, I left the house looking exactly as I always did.

I rode my bike slowly that night, already hyper aware of the sweat under my arms.

So I slowed my pedaling even further. When the house came into view, I hopped off the bike and walked it up the drive before tossing it to the grass outside the garage.

Okay, knock twice and just go in.

That’s what everyone always did, what I always did. Just knock twice then lift the door. Everyone was always welcome, come on in!

So go in, idiot.

Look, I did it eventually. Just like always, knock knock, lift the door enough to slip underneath, let it close behind me. Except when it rolled back to the ground, I lost my nerve and stood frozen there for a few seconds too long.

Sam called me out, because he’s a menace.

“The hell are you doing, Tiny? We started without you.”

I moved farther into the space, eyes bouncing between my options through the soft haze of pungent smoke that already hung over the room. There was my usual spot - on the floor, next to the spot where Sam sat cross-legged, his long frame folded and bent, his sharp elbows resting on his knees as he waited for the joint to make its way back to him.

Not tonight, I’m on a mission.

Jake sat to his left, in a well-worn, floral print wingback chair. It was comfortable enough for one person, decades of weight softening the strength of the cushion’s springs before it ever came to live in this particular garage. Jake’s body was slung over it, legs thrown haphazardly over an arm while his own were wrapped around an acoustic guitar. Typical. He tipped his chin at me from under the brim of a bucket hat, then nodded towards the floor beside him. Holy shit, does he want me to sit by him?! I think my fingers lifted in a barely-there wave but I’m not really sure they were functioning correctly.

Okay focus, he did not. Does not. Not in this lifetime.

Still without his next hit, Sam glanced up at me over his shoulder and patted the threadbare throw rug next to him. “Sit down weirdo, you’re making me paranoid.”

Nerves that I’d never, never, felt before in this room fluttered through my stomach, I let my gaze meet Sam’s before continuing the search for a place to plant myself.

There was really only one option left - the couch - and both ends were already occupied. Our friend Danny (Kyle’s replacement, sorry Kyle) was in the process of melting into the corner closest to Jake, his eyes glassy and already tinged pink when he looked up at me. Only his eyebrows lifted in greeting before he mirrored Sam’s offer to sit next to him, tapping the cushion beside him.

This is fine, totally normal! Danny was Sam’s other half. Well, his other male half. I guess we were in thirds. A trio.

I accepted the offering, stepping around the coffee table, scarred with years worth of “art” - drawings and carvings, a few discreet dirty words etched into the surface in between - to drop to the middle of the couch. One of Sam’s brows tipped up when I met his eyes again, his expression asking, “Dude, what gives?”

“Hey, you’re here!” He noticed me, finally. Silvery smoke crept from between his lips as he grinned, and I watched transfixed when they pursed together and he blew a cloud toward the ceiling. My stare was broken when he leaned across the table and passed the joint to an impatient Sam, but to the delight of the butterflies going nuts in the pit of my stomach, he leaned back into the cushions and threw an arm over the back of the couch behind me. EEEEP!

“Hey-“ It was a humiliating and unsexy croak, and I quickly cleared my throat and tried again. “Hey, Josh. Hi.”

His long hair was pulled back, his entire face available for my viewing pleasure. Things were going perfectly.

I joined the rotation, the weed easing the flutters caused by sitting so close to Josh, but amplifying the feeling that the other three were watching and wondering why I was acting so strange.

They were not. They were high.

Aside from the stray curious eyebrow from my BFF across the table, they actually acted like nothing was abnormal about my seating choice, even when I started to scooch imperceptibly to my left every time I adjusted the way I was sitting.

Pulled my legs up under me? Scooch.

Dropped them down so my sneakers met the cement? Scooch.

Crossed my left ankle over my right knee? Scooch.

It was totally subtle.

“I’m gonna grab a pop, you guys want anything?” Sam startled me out of a pleasant reverie as he jumped up from the floor, but my freaking knee was touching Josh’s knee! No I don’t want anything, I have everything I need right here!

It turned out Sam was a huge knee blocker. He gripped me by an elbow and peeled me from the couch as the others murmured at our retreating backs about needing Doritos. He pushed me out the side door and towards the house and had me in the kitchen before I could even tell him he was ruining everything!

Even through bleary, hooded eyes, his death glare was brutal.

“Saaammmmm, what are you doing?!” “What the hell do you think you’re doing, T?”

More glaring. He broke the glare-off first, jerking his head to the side to flick his hair out of his eyes and turning to open the refrigerator, but once his face was inside it, he called me out again.

“Why are you being so weird with Josh?”

I love him, I need him!

“Whaaa.. I don’t know what you mean. You’re just super high.” Yeah, I really thought that would work. Sue me!

Straightening to his full height (seriously, like two inches taller than me… maybe three), he spun to face me again. He actually looked down his nose at me.

“Do you like, like him? What the fuck, Tiny?” He whispered that last part, as if his parents were lurking around the corner waiting to bust him for cussing.

“Look, you wouldn’t understand Sam. I’m much older than y-“

“You’re not even an entire year older than me.”

“Eleven months is basically an entire ye-“

“That’s not the point!” That part was like whisper yelling. I swear it looked like he was yelling, but it sounded like he was whispering.

“Okay!” Yeah, I whisper yelled back. “Sammy, I like him… I’m sorry! I don’t even know when it happened but I woke up one day and I realized that he’s perfect! He’s funny and nice and he’s so… so… cute! Okay? He’s so cute I wanna die and I love him!”

Sam’s eyes were wide, as wide as they could be under the circumstances, and he stared at me like I’d grown another head. With a horn coming out of it.

“You love him. You realize how dumb you sound right now?”

Dumb? No no, this was serious. I pleaded with my best friend for forgiveness. And his help. “Sam… please. Don’t be mad at me, I- I don’t know, I can’t help it! That’s just how I feel, and I want him to like me back!” That’s when it hit me, I needed a wingman for this plan.

“Can you help me get him to like me back?” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, bottom lip stuck out and everything. As if that had ever worked in the four years we’d known each other so far.

“Fuck no.” His eyes moved side to side, looking for sneaky parents again I guessed. “Definitely not. Why do you have to like my brother, dude? That’s sick, it’s like incest or something!” He stomped his feet a little, and I couldn't help but think it made him look like a child. He was a child! This was serious, grown-up shit and I didn’t have time to play games.

“Ugh, if you’re not gonna help me then at least get out of my way.” I pushed past him and headed back out of the house and into the garage. Not much had changed when I got there, but Danny must have left while Sam and I were gone. The entire couch was empty aside from Josh, still sitting cross-legged in one corner. Damn it!

I flopped into the spot that Danny had vacated, just as Sam hustled back in through the side door, arms full of sodas and bags of chips. My cheeks were warm when I looked up at him, and then they burst into flames.

“Scoot over T, I like the corner spot.”

He’s helping me! Oh shit, he’s helping me. Move your ass!!

Fumbling for a grip on reality, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Sam’s. He lifted his brows and tilted his head in Josh’s direction. I suddenly remembered why I wasted all my days with this kid - he’s my ride or die. And now I owed him, big.

As soon as I stood to shift to the center of the couch, Sam’s elbow snuck out and made contact with my shoulder. My feet tangled with each other and, balance lost, I tumbled. Right into the arms of my beloved.

Okay okay, that’s a reach. But I did land on him. Sam had nudged me just hard enough to send me toward the opposite end of the couch and I landed ass-first on Josh’s leg, still folded and crossed under the other.

Through the mortification, I heard Sam’s distinct snickering as he placed himself gently on the other cushion. Then, through the popping of soda tabs and crinkling of chip bags, I heard the sweetest, most beautiful sound ever.

“If you wanted to sit next to me so bad, you could’ve just done it, T.”

I quite literally had to extract myself from his lap, but Josh just giggled as I clumsily moved off of him. To my extreme delight and disbelief, I didn’t make it too far. He slung an arm over my shoulders and kept me at his side. We are sharing a cushion. ALERT ALERT - OUR THIGHS ARE TOUCHING.

His hand wrapped around the ball of my shoulder and squeezed. Not once, but twice. I felt like I was gonna puke, but I risked turning my head and meeting his eyes. And he. Fucking. Smiled.

“You good, Tiny?” I should’ve laughed. We were the same exact height, I could be calling him tiny. But this wasn’t funny, because he was still smiling at me and he’d lowered his voice to speak directly to me and I felt it all the way to my toes. Somehow I managed to smile back.

“I’m good.” I was soooooo good. Even when Sam shoved a bag of Doritos at me, I was good. Because Josh reached into it and pulled a few out for himself. He reached into my lap! For chips!

Risking a sideways glance at Sam, I found him eyeballing Josh’s hand that was still resting lightly over my shoulder. I gave him my best “holy shit holy shit holy shit” expression, to which he rolled his eyes and shrugged. Before turning my attention back to the love of my life, my gaze drifted past Sam and landed on Jake. Oh, he was still here? Hadn’t noticed.

Except I was noticing. And he didn’t look pleased. He locked in and held eye contact, absolutely scowling. He was pissed. At me?! I must not have hidden my surprise well, because after a few more tense seconds of the longest eye contact we’d ever held, he blinked away and flung the guitar he’d been cradling all night over the arm of the chair.

Look, he didn’t throw it or anything. The stand was right there and the guitar landed safely, if not a little roughly, in its place. But then he tossed the open bag of Lay’s to the table, swung his legs around and stood. He caught my eye again, his hair doing that flippy thing over his eyebrows as he shook his head.

“Whatever. Night, guys.”

Just like that, he was gone. Two down, one to go. GTFO Sam!!

The next hour or so passed in a blur. Sam kept hitting the joint long after Josh and I had turned it down, and by the time he’d deposited the roach in the ashtray he could barely keep his eyes open. I watched his head fall back into the cushion and pounced on my opportunity.

Leaning away from Josh’s loving embrace (shut up, I was in heaven okay?), I slapped Sam’s chest with the back of my hand.

“Sammy… Sam!” He snorted as his head whipped up, swiped a hand over his mouth and looked at me. I was still leaning toward him, my back to Josh, and I spoke to him telepathically. Or with my eyebrows.

Get out of here right now or so help me God.

He answered verbally, like he couldn't even read my mind. “Huh?”

I withheld growling at him like an animal. “Why don’t you go to bed, man? You’re toast.” Go. NOW.

His eyes tried to focus on me, they really did, before he shook his head and tried again. “Shit. Yeah, okay. Are you… do you wanna stay on the couch tonight?”

Yes. This couch. Allll night long.

“Yeah yeah, I will, but I’m not tired yet. I’m just gonna, um, chill here for a little bit longer?” At that, I turned my head and risked a glance at Josh. Thank God I did, because he was already looking at me, and he grinned. EEEEEEEP!

“I’m not tired yet either, we can listen to some music.” I doubted I could hear music at that point, not over the blood rushing in my ears. But then, oh then, he looked up at Sam and said, “I’ll make sure she makes it to bed, I mean, the couch. Downstairs, I’ll make sure she makes it downstairs.”

“Fine, whatever.” See? He’s my ride or die. “See you in the morning, T.” And then he was gone.

We were alone.

HELLO? WE. WERE. ALONE.

Sure, I’d been alone with Josh before. I’d been hanging around his house nearly every day for four years, we’d definitely been left in a room together at some point. But not while his arm was draped loosely over my shoulders, not while our legs were touching, not while my heart was about to beat out of my chest.

But now that we were alone, I had no effing clue what to do. Then Josh stood up. My heart dropped into my stomach, but he walked over to the stacked milk crates that housed a small part of their family’s record collection and crouched to skim through them. He found something he liked and set it on the turntable, the needle bringing the crackling beginnings of a song to life.

When he turned back to face me, I thought for sure he’d sit in that ugly wingback chair. Or at the other end of the couch. Instead, he circled the coffee table and sat on the opposite side of me than he had been all night. And now his other thigh was touching mine!

I’m pretty sure my throat closed up because I had to clear it rather unattractively to speak. “What, uhh, ha, um, who is this?”

Sexy, right?

Didn’t matter, his smile took shape right in front of my eyes and all I could see was the little barely-there gap between his front teeth. I wanted to know what it felt like on my tongue. Would I be able to tell? If I kissed him right now, would I be able to feel that little discrepancy in the perfection of his teeth? I lifted my eyes to meet his and realized he’d spoken, and I’d missed it.

“Sorry, uhh… what?”

His head tilted and his eyes searched my face for… something. “Wilson Pickett. Sammy hasn’t played this for you?”

Sammy? Who is Sammy? Ohhh right, best friend.

“Um, no, I don’t think so. But maybe? There’s always music on, he’s probably played this.”

He just nodded, at first in response to my rambling and then in time with the song. When it ended, he just… looked at me, for what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds. I was once again hyper aware of my underarms. Sweating. So I slipped the flannel off of my shoulders, keeping my forearms in the sleeves but giving me some airflow to the pits. Josh’s eyes dropped from mine and landed on the now exposed skin. Yes! Guys like shoulders!

The realization slapped me in the face, so I grabbed it and ran. I slid my arms out of the sleeves and tossed the flannel past Josh and onto the chair, thanking God that I’d worn a tank top. He gulped. Like a full-blown gulp.

Omg I’m making him nervous!!

Confidence boosted, I shifted even closer to him, until our bodies were tucked tight against each other. I’d never been this close to him, aside from that one time we’d been crammed in the back seat of his mom’s car with Sam and Jake, their sister sitting pretty in the front seat. But then I had been a scrawny kid, only thirteen (and a half) and he had been a really weird fifteen year old, not yet having grown into his features. I hadn’t wanted any part of his stinky, sweaty, farty body near me and I’d squeezed myself so close to Sam I was practically in his lap.

But on this night? This Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I was no longer a kid. And he was no longer weird. He was beautiful, and my face was really close to his face. I could feel it when he whispered, his breath actually touched my lips.

“Wha- what are you doing, T?”

He was looking at my lips, waiting for my answer. I licked them because I was freaking parched, but he watched. And I watched him gulp, again! My tongue slipped out and wet my bottom lip a second time.

“Josh?” Whispering is sexy, it’s seductive. I was sure of it. He did it back, just my name - my actual name - lilting at the end in question.

“Do you.. wanna… kiss me?” I leaned over him, placed my left hand on his chest and felt his collar bone under my fingertips through his t-shirt. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

I saw the panic widen his eyes, then they darted around me, looking at anything but me. It was really so cute how nervous he was. He was eighteen, for Christ sake! And I was making him nervous!

“Kiss me, Josh.” His eyes snapped back to mine, slipped down to my mouth again and then back.

And then. He. Freaking. KISSED. ME.

In a split second that felt like hours, I watched his eyes close and perfect lips pucker. My eyes stayed open at first, I didn’t want to miss this.

Leaning further into him, I settled my lips against his and slid the hand on his chest up the side of his neck (his pulse was out of control, by the way), and then cradled his jaw. My fingertips were in his hair right behind his ear. I pulled his face closer and ramped up the pressure of our lips pushed together.

He put his hands on me. I swear to God, he really did! One reached for my hip and the other came up to rest against my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and my body took over. Not a coherent thought left in my pretty little head. Especially when our mouths separated, and then he pushed them back together.

With a mind of its own, my other hand came up and gripped his shoulder. Then my leg swung over his lap and I. Was. Straddling. Him.

It wasn’t my fault. My brain had gone haywire, my body moving on instinct. I’d quite literally never done this before. I’d kissed plenty, I even kissed Sam once (barf), but this felt different. This felt mature. Probably a little more mature than I was ready for but like I said, it was not my fault.

A lot of blame fell on Josh, a whole mountain of it, when the hand on my cheek dropped to my other hip and gripped hard, pulled me flush against him. And his lips coerced my mouth open. And the tip of his tongue swept out and touched mine.

Oh, I was in way over my head. But this was Josh, the boy I loved, and he was loving me back!

A sound I’d never made before crept up my throat. Instant embarrassment heated my already toasty cheeks and climbed up my neck, but then. Ohh then. The same freaking sound came from somewhere below me. Josh groaned. Because of me.

My animal brain completely took over. My tongue was already sliding against his, and my hips decided to follow suit. With zero finesse, they rocked into his. Just once.

He broke the kiss and dropped his head back to the cushion.

No no noooooo, you like this! You love it!

I could feel the proof that he loved it. I was sitting on it. I could see it, his chest heaving.

So I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his throat.

“Stop, T.” His hands fell limp and landed on my thighs. My brain scrambled to catch up. Stop? Go! His fingers spread across the denim on my legs. Go go go!

But then he pushed. I leaned back to see his face, find an explanation, but his eyes were still closed as he pushed me off of his lap. Helped me swing my leg back over. Kept his hands on my thighs until they were planted back on the couch and closed. Firmly. Then they left me, and I felt their absence like a knife to the heart.

“I… wow, okay.” It’s the best I could manage to formulate, but my brain was running in overdrive.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let that happen.” He rubbed his palms, the ones that were just holding me, over his knees then leaned forward and dropped his forehead into them.

Okay, maybe he just thinks we were moving too fast!

“Josh, it’s okay. I want this! We can just kiss, I’ll stay over here and you stay there and-“

It was so quiet, but it stopped my words on my tongue and slammed my lips shut.

“I can’t.”

Okay. Okay. Okay.

It’s because Sam’s my best friend.

It’s because I’m too young.

He thinks I’m still a kid.

Like his kid sister.

Fuck!

Anger rolled through me. “Why? Is it Sam?”

He scrubbed his hands over his face and turned to me. Looked at me, finally.

“No, I-“

“Am I too young for you? You’re not that much older, Josh and we’ve known eachother forever, it’s not that big of a de-“

“It’s not that, Tiny.” His eyes closed again.

“Don’t call me that!” He’d offended me, I was o-ffen-ded. “I’m not a little fucking kid!” Okay, I was pissed! I was a grown ass woman!

(I wasn’t.)

Both of his hands reached forward and he pulled mine towards him. Held them there. Opened his eyes. Was he gonna cry? Why are his eyes wet?! Shit, am I crying?

“It’s not you, T. It’s me.” Oh please. “I- well, I um, I like someone else.”

Back to angry! “What?! Then why the hell were you kissing me?!” What a scoundrel, what a snake, what an asshole!

“It’s not like that-“

“What the fuck is it like?!” I didn’t normally curse much at that age, but when I tell you I was mad? Hurt? Embarrassed? I couldn’t stop it from happening.

Shit, his eyes were definitely wet.

“It’s a guy.”

He whispered it, and it wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t seductive. It was sad. Scared. Defeated. I snatched my hands out of his.

There was a long silence. Uncomfortable. He stared at his empty hands and we processed.

“What did you say?” His posture shrank, like he was trying to disappear. “Josh, it’s okay. Talk to me.” It was my turn to take his hands. I held them in mine and squeezed once.

“I’m so sorry, I- I just don’t like you. Like that.” His eyes found their way back to my face, “I really like him.” They went wide and I’m pretty sure mine did too. He seemed shocked that he’d said it out loud, right before panic spread across his features again.

“Please don’t say anything, T. I haven’t- no one knows that. No one. Please.”

“No, I would never Josh, I swear. I just… why were you, ya know, kissing me?” Touching me, pulling me in. He pulled his hands away from me this time.

“I just wanted to feel normal. I wanted them to think I was normal.”

I couldn’t help it. I threw my arms around him and held on tight.

“You are.” Normal and beautiful and perfect. And not mine. A heavy sigh slipped from between my lips. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

He stayed silent, so I did too. I kept my arms around him for a few minutes before finally letting them slip free, rubbing a palm between his shoulder blades.

“I guess I should go… Are you okay?” Look, I was not okay, but it didn’t seem like that was important anymore.

“Aren’t you gonna stay downstairs tonight?”

Definitely not. “No, I think I should go home…” Probably won’t show my face over here for a goooood long time.

“Let me walk with you.”

I did. He walked on the other side of my bike while I walked it by the handlebars. When we reached my driveway, I left the bike propped against the side of the garage and turned to him. And just like in my dreams, he moved close and pecked a kiss into my cheek. Then he pulled me into his arms.

“I’m really sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, ya know?” His voice was soft and low, his breath tickling my ear. It should’ve been a literal dream come true.

A half step back and I rubbed my hands up and down his arms. “It’s really fine. I’m sorry for…” Humiliating us both? “Everything.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I mean it,” he emphasized when I shook my head. “Just… please don’t say anything. Even to Sam. Especially to Sam. I’m gonna tell them all when I’m ready, I think.”

Huge, massive sigh. “I won’t. I promise.”

And I never did. Not really.

[hailthegodsong]

TENDER LOVE

~ One Shot ~ Josh Kiszka x Injured Female Reader

Word Count: 9.6k + (sorry i got a bit carried away)

Summary: When a pyrotechnic at the last show of tour malfunctions and ruptures your eardrum, Josh does everything he can to get you home and healing, sticking by you at your absolute worst. Just a plain old (very self-indulgent) physical hurt/ comfort trope. A/N: For some reason this didn't upload properly the first orrr second time so third times a charm!

Content Warnings: Ruptured ear drum, extreme pain, ear infection, loud noises, fire, swearing, mentions of DIG cancelled shows due to Josh's ear injuries, injury, blood and other bodily fluids from injury, nausea, dizziness, caretaking Josh, prescription drugs including painkillers and antibiotics, infection, sleeplessness, anger and irritation, but mostly fluffy fluffy caretaking Josh.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

“How do you feel?” you asked softly, tugging the zipper of Josh’s jumpsuit up to its final notch. The bright fabric gleamed under the dim backstage lights, and his radiant smile only amplified the glow. You placed your hands flat against his chest, letting your fingers trace the velvety fabric in a quiet moment of affection.

“Excited… a little nervous,” he admitted, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. As he pulled away, his lips rolled together in thought, his fingers finding the hem of your shirt where they fidgeted absentmindedly.

“You’ll do great, you always do,” you reassured him, your voice firm but tender. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.” Your words carried more weight than usual– this was the last show of the tour. The whirlwind of hotel rooms, airports, endless flights, buzzing venues, and ceaseless movement was coming to an end.

It was bittersweet. Part of you would miss the pace– the constant hum of excitement, the thrill that came with living life on the move. But another part of you yearned for the simplicity of home. You longed for quiet mornings, expensive wine, and lazy days spent dancing around the living room in your pyjamas, just the two of you, free from the world’s demands.

Josh’s hand shifted slightly at your waist, drawing you back into the present. “I know,” he said, a hint of a grin breaking through his nerves. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just… festivals are scarier. So many people, so many more eyes.” His voice was quiet, but his eyes, locked on yours, searched for reassurance.

You raised a playful eyebrow, rising onto your toes until your face was level with his. “What happened to ‘fuck fear’? Hmm?”

A laugh escaped him, short and light. He leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a quick kiss before his hands squeezed your sides teasingly. “You’re right. As always.”

“Two minutes, Josh!” Tanner’s voice called sharply from the hallway, his usual pre-show routine to keep Josh on schedule.

Josh rolled his shoulders back and exhaled, his breath tight with anticipation. “You’ll be in the stage wing?”

“Of course,” you promised.

You followed him through the chaotic backstage tents, weaving past crew members and tangled cables, the orchestral opening for Starcatcher echoing through the space. When you reached his brothers, he stole one last kiss before bounding onto the stage with an energy that sent electricity through the air.

From your vantage point in the shadows of the stage wing, you watched them transform. Josh, Jake, Sam and Danny commanded the space with ease, their every movement amplifying the roaring energy of the crowd. And the deafening cheers seemed to fuel them ever more.

You stayed just out of sight, a comforting presence Josh sought with fleeting glances. Every now and then, he’d throw you a sly smile, one meant only for you, a silent reminder that you were always on his mind.

The show was everything it always was– loud, raw, electric. You swayed to the music, smiling fondly at Josh’s antics as he strutted across the stage. Feather boas and sparkly sunglasses were flung his way, and he soaked up the adoration like sunlight.

You stepped a little further to the right when one of the amplifiers beside you blared a little too loud, no doubt attributed to Jake's request. You considered putting in earplugs to protect your ears which were ringing slightly at the volume of the music, but a quick glance at the setlist had you realising that there were only two songs until the end of the show, and you wanted to hear it without obstruction. 

Swallowing back the mild discomfort, you refocused on the music, your heart beating against the rhythm as the song came to a climax. Danny's face twisted in passion as he abused his drums, swinging against the cymbals with fervour. 

At the last few swings, the hot heat of a nearby pyro machine blew off, shooting hot fire into the air, creating a symphony of chaos and raw aggression with the music. 

Each blow delivered had another bullet of fire shooting into the air, and you took a step back to relieve yourself of the burning heat ebbing from the machine nearby. Though it wasn't enough, as when you waited for the last beat to drop, the silence gave way to an unnatural hissing sound emanating from the machine only mere feet from you, awaiting the final beat.

That wasn’t normal.

The next few moments happened in a blur. They passed too quickly for you to decide to move away from the machine, and too quickly for you to truly register what happened. 

Bliding, hot light burst from the little black box, so bright that you lost sight of your surroundings completely. The small explosion was accompanied by a deafening bang, one that certainly wasn't normal, and one that had you cowering away, hands flying to your ears against the vibrations. 

But the damage had already been done. You hadn't realised the song was over, by the way the ringing in your ears deafened you completely. You stumbled back a few steps as a nauseating rush of dizziness overtook you. White, hot, searing pain spread across the side of your face, and you were sure you made a sound of protest had you been able to hear it through the shrill piercing noise that vibrated through your skull.

Disorientated and disabled by the confusion that wracked your body, you turned to the darkness, away from the stage, away from the ringing noise. 

But the ringing did not dissipate. No, in fact, it only seemed to grow louder with each step you took away from the stage. You hadn't realised your eyes had been screwed shut until you walked into something, hard and unmoving, the jolt of your head sending a pang of pain through your face. You had walked into an equipment storage box, you realised as you cracked your eyes open. 

Turning around to gather your bearings seemed to only make things worse, as the area in front of you tilted on its axis, and you were falling with it. Your hands still clutched the sides of your head, palms pressed over your ears protectively as you swayed to the side. 

A crew member you recognised, but couldn't remember the name of appeared in front of you, his face taut with concern as he grabbed your shoulders to steady your balance. 

“Woah, you alright?” he asked. His gaze drifted to the side of your face, looking at you didn't know what. He lifted your hand from your ear and winced. “Oh shit,” he muttered. You looked down at your hand, now hovering between the two of you, palm coated in a curdling mixture of blood and some unknown, yellow substance.

Blood. 

Blood. Blood? Why was there blood? What happened? You couldn't think through the pain that stretched across every nerve in your head, your jaw throbbing and ear aching against every noise that still drifted from the stage to where you stood. 

You hadn't realised the man in front of you had gone until he returned again with a towel, in which he folded and pressed against your ear. You hissed at the pressure against your head, but found yourself grabbing onto his forearm as you stumbled to the side a little. 

What was going on? 

“What happened?” you asked as he led you out of the side stage area, his hand still pressing the fabric against the side of your head. He walked you to the makeup trailer, and carefully sat you down on his makeup chair. 

“Looks like you fucked up your ear,” he explained, wincing as he saw the red soaking through the white fabric. “Don't worry, the set should have ended by now, Josh should be out soon,” he comforted. “I’m gonna go find a medic, just… stay still, try not to move too much.” And with that, he was gone, closing the caravan door behind him gently to alleviate any noise. 

Somethow, the silence in the small space was anything but comforting. Instead, it gave way to the persistent ringing, which now not only pierced the side of your head, but what felt like your entire face. You steadied yourself with one hand on the edge of the dressing table, the other still pressing against your ear as if the pressure would alleviate some of the pain. 

It didn't. 

It sounded as if you had been cloaked underwater, the ticking of the clock by the door muffled yet still pounding against your ears. You tried to focus on a singular point in the room, in a feeble attempt to quell the circus spin of your vision, but it only seemed to get worse, at one point almost knocking you off your idle position in your chair. 

Not long went by before the door to the caravan opened and Josh stepped in, flushed and sweaty, his eyes searching the space before they landed on you. 

“There you are Baby, I’ve been looking all over for you. You okay?” he asked, stepping towards you, his perky expression quickly turning confused at the sight of you, cowering in a chair with a grimace on your face. 

You hissed, not knowing what was worse, the slam of the door against the wall or the ring of his loud voice. You didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but you winced against the noises, each sound like a hammer to your face. 

“Shhh,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut through the intense pain. You felt like you were going to be sick. Josh furrowed his brows and continued towards you until he stood in front of you, crouching onto his knees to lower himself to your eye level. 

“Baby, what happened?” he asked, tilting his head to see the cloth pressed against your ear, a shadow of blood staining the fabric from where it had soaked through. “Is– are you bleeding?” he asked, voice loud in alarm and concern, making you whimper out in pain as you clutched the fabric closer. 

“Fuck! Be quiet, please,” you begged, a hot tear slipping from your eye, running down the crevice between your nose and cheek and landing on your lips. 

Josh’s eyes were wide in complete shock and confusion as well as concern for your health. He nodded frantically, whispering a ‘sorry’ before shuffling closer to you on his knees. 

“Can I?” he asked, voice softer this time as he reached out to touch the towel bunched up against your ear. You nodded, but quickly regretted it as the feeling closely resembled your brain being loosely tossed around your skull and made you wince. 

Josh's frown deepened at your pained reaction, and he tentatively reached up to remove the cloth. It stuck to your skin with dried blood as he peeled it away slowly, blinking at the sight of the oozing yellow substance. 

“Shit,” he whispered, conscious to keep his voice low. “You’ve fucked up your ear drum, Baby.”

He pressed the cloth against your ear again, providing you with a level of protection from the sound around you, and stroked his thumb against your sweaty forehead. 

“How did this happen? Were the amps just too loud?” he asked, planting another hand on your knee. 

You shook your head, only to be met with an overwhelming dizziness, again. You had got to stop doing that. You squeezed your eyes through the spell and felt Josh’s hands steady you by the shoulder. “Try not to move too much, your balance is out of whack,” he instructed. 

“The fire…” you explained meekly, your jaw throbbing with pain when you spoke, “It went wrong or something. Exploded.”

His eyes widened at your words, a panicked look on his face as his eyes addressed the rest of you, “Shit, it didn’t burn you did it?” he asked. 

You hummed a ‘no’, avoiding shaking your head as well as speaking to preserve some essence of comfort against the pain. Although relieved, his frown remained, seeing you in pain being one of the hardest things to watch. 

You rubbed your temples, groaning in pain. “Ugh, it hurts so bad…” you said, mostly unable to hear yourself through the noise being created in your ear. 

Josh pressed his lips together and caressed your hairline with nimble fingers, “I know, honey. I know. It’s going to be really uncomfortable for the next few weeks, but I’ll be here.” Josh looked up to the roof and ran the heel of his palm over his forehead harshly, “Fuck, this is all my fault.”

“Why?” you whispered, a protective feeling washing over you at Josh's self-blame. 

“I asked them to turn the pyros up– wanted it to be extra for the last show ‘n everything. And now you’re hurt– badly, and if I hadn’t just–”

“Josh,” you interrupted, placing a hand on his shoulder, “You didn’t know it was going to do that. This isn’t your fault. It isn’t anybody's fault. Please don't blame yourself.”

He sighed and gave you a small smile, “Okay, Honey, I’m sorry. Let's just worry about you for now, ‘kay?”

You gave him a small sound to signal your agreement, and let your eyes fall shut, breathing deeply through your nose to try and calm the pain.

“I need to go get someone. A medic or something, will you be okay here on your own?” he asked. 

“Someone’s already on their way,” you explained through gritted teeth.

“Alright, good,” he sighed, patting your knee. “Are you comfortable here? Want me to take you to the couch to lay down?” he asked, looking up at you from his kneeled position, hands braced around your body as if you could break at any moment. 

You reached up to knead the side of your thumb into the muscle of your jaw in an attempt to quell the pain. “Yes please,” you answered with a sigh.

Josh nodded and stood quickly, “Alright Baby, just lean on me. You’re gonna feel really dizzy when we stand up, but I won’t let you fall, promise.”

You had almost forgotten Josh had been through this exact injury before, having experienced the pain, the discomfort, the dizziness. Josh helped you stand with a tight arm wrapped around your body, and walked you over to the little couch in the corner of the room. 

You weren't as dizzy this time, with Josh's stability stopping you from toppling over, but the painful waves of nausea still boiled in your throat. 

“There we go, slowly now,” Josh guided, helping you lay down on the couch as he promptly settled a few pillows beneath your head. 

Josh hovered beside you as you eased back onto the couch, his hand never leaving yours as he adjusted the pillows beneath your head with delicate care. His brow furrowed, concern etched into every line of his face. You watched him through the throbbing ache that pulsed from your jaw to your temple, his frantic gentleness almost endearing, if not for the pain clouding your thoughts.

“There,” he murmured, crouching down to your level. He smoothed a strand of hair from your forehead, his fingers cool against your overheated skin. “Better?” he asked.

You gave him a faint smile, though it faltered as the sharp ringing in your ears gnawed at the edges of your sanity. Josh’s expression softened, his thumb brushing lightly across your knuckles.

“You know,” he began, his tone lightening as a flicker of mischief danced in his eyes, “This reminds me of that time I tripped over the amp cable in Chicago. Remember that? Flat on my face, right in front of the crew. You laughed so hard, you fell off the equipment case you were sitting on and sprained your wrist.”

Despite yourself, you chuckled weakly at the memory, but the movement sent a jolt of pain radiating through your head. You winced, your hand flying to your temple.

“Don’t make me laugh, Josh,” you groaned, though there was no real irritation in your voice– just a kind of weary exasperation.

He grinned sheepishly, his free hand reaching out to rest gently on your arm. “Sorry, Baby. I’ll save the comedy routine for when your head’s not about to explode.”

There was a knock at the door, sharp but not overly loud, and Josh raised a brow and turned his head toward it, relief flashing across his face. “That’ll be the medic,” he said, rising quickly. “I’ll grab the door. Be right back.”

As Josh opened the door, a middle-aged woman with a warm presence stepped in, carrying a small medical bag slung over one shoulder. She gave you a professional yet kind smile as she approached, her eyes scanning your pale face and the makeshift towel still pressed to your ear.

“Hi there, Hun,” she said warmly, setting her bag down on the floor beside the couch. “I’m Michelle. I hear you’ve hurt your ear, mind if I take a look?”

Josh lingered close, peering over Michelle's shoulder as she carefully knelt beside you, donning a pair of gloves and reaching for the towel. “Can I remove this?” she asked gently.

You nodded hesitantly, bracing yourself for the volume of the room. She pulled the towel away slowly, inspecting your ear with a practiced eye. Josh winced as the bloodied cloth revealed the full extent of the damage– dried blood mixed with a clear yellowish fluid that trickled from your ear.

“Yep, definitely a ruptured eardrum,” Michelle said, her voice calm but definitive. “The noise volume must’ve done it.” She frowned as she observed the sight, pulling out a flashlight from her shirt pocket and shining it down your ear canal. “There's a lot of fluid buildup…” she commented, mostly to herself. 

“Is that a bad thing?” you asked, and Josh squeezed your calf from where he could reach. 

“Not great… you’re going to have some trouble with hearing, and the pain won't be great, but I can write you a referral for some strong painkillers. Let me clean you up and give you some low level pain relief, honey.”

Josh’s hand found your knee, running his thumb over your skin comfortingly. “How long will it take to heal?” he asked, his voice tight with worry, looking back at his own injury that led to numerous cancelled shows and a painfully long recovery period.

“Shouldn’t be longer than 2 to 3 months to fully heal… as long as it doesn't get infected,” Michelle assured him, beginning to clean the area with a gentle touch. “The dizziness and nausea are from the damage to the inner ear, but they’ll subside as she heals. It’s important she takes it easy for the next few weeks especially, no loud environments, no sudden movements– and no flying either, the air pressure can worsen the injury. You need to keep the ear dry too to prevent infectious growth.”

Josh nodded, having heard the same instructions for his own ear, although he had forgotten about the no-flying rule. 

“Looks like we're gonna have to road trip it back home this time, Sweetheart,” Josh said, his eyes meeting yours as the medic wiped the fluid from where it had dried on your neck. 

You groaned, “We’re gonna have to split it into two days, the drive’s too long to manage at once,” you complained. 

Josh smiled sympathetically, “That's alright, we aren’t in a rush. I’ll book us a night at a fancy hotel along the way.”

“Drive carefully,” the medic intervened as she rummaged in her bag for something, “Driving can be really uncomfortable with all the movements and bumps. Once you’re home I suggest bedrest for at least a week, just to make sure you aren't exposed to any loud sounds. You probably wont want to leave bed either way with the dizziness… and the nausea.”

You muttered a sarcastic ‘great’ under your breath, but were surprised when you couldn't even hear yourself, the sound no longer being drowned out by ringing, but some kind of muffled blockage. 

Josh knelt beside the couch to be closer to you, his eyes darting between you and the medic. “That means it's your turn for couch duty, Beautiful. So no arguing when I’m waiting on you hand and foot this time.”

You managed a weak laugh, wincing as the movement tugged at the pain in your jaw. Josh immediately leaned closer, his face a mixture of apology and affection. 

Josh shook his head with a wry smile, his thumb tracing small, soothing circles on the back of your hand. “You’ll have to forgive me. I’m not used to seeing you like this. Usually, you’re the one fussing over me.”

You gave a faint smile, your eyelids fluttering as the medic wiped away the last remnants of blood and discharge from your neck and squeezed a few drops of steroid solution into your ear canal. The cool liquid stung sharply and itched fervently as it travelled into your ear, and you hissed, squeezing Josh’s hand instinctively. His grip tightened in return, grounding you.

“All done,” Michelle reassured, her voice steady. “Just need to write you a referral and give you a rundown of what to watch for.” You nodded blankly, not quite hearing what she had said.

Josh shifted closer as she worked, his eyes never leaving your face. “You hear that? Almost done. Then we’ll get you all set up back at the hotel— blankets, snacks, whatever you want. You won’t have to lift a finger.”

“Josh,” you mumbled, your voice soft but laced with humor despite the ache in your head. “You’re acting like I’ve lost a limb.”

He feigned offense, clutching his chest dramatically. “You’re bleeding out, did you really expect me to react differently?” he joked.

Michelle stifled a chuckle, glancing at Josh. “Well, she’s not wrong— she isn’t ‘bleeding out,’ but it’s good to have someone looking after her. She’ll need plenty of rest and hydration.” Michelle sat back on her heels, peeling off her gloves with a practiced snap. She placed a bottle of pain relief and an antibiotic prescription on the small table beside the couch.

“Take these as directed,” she instructed, her tone firm but kind. “If the dizziness or nausea gets worse, or if the pain doesn’t improve in a couple of days, make sure you see a doctor. And no loud music for a while, alright?”

You nodded slowly, each motion calculated to avoid aggravating the throbbing pain. “Thank you,” you said, your voice faint but sincere.

Michelle packed up her kit and rose to her feet, addressing Josh. “She’ll be alright as long as she takes it easy. If you need anything, let the event staff know– they’ve got my number.”

Josh nodded, standing to see her out. “Thanks, Michelle. Really.”

As the door clicked shut, he turned back to you, his hands planted on his hips as if surveying the situation. “Alright, Missy,” he said, his tone playful but underpinned with care, “You’re officially banned from doing anything but lying here and letting me spoil you rotten.”

You smiled faintly, letting out a long, slow breath. “I think I can live with that.”

Josh grabbed a soft blanket draped over the back of the couch, spreading it gently across you. He settled beside you, his hand resting lightly on your arm. “Anything you need, you just say the word. Want to just lay here and cuddle? Or maybe we should watch one of those terrible reality shows you secretly love while we wait.”

You groaned dramatically, though a small grin tugged at your lips. “I’m not in the mood to see people throwing wine glasses at each other.”

“Well, how about I just sit here and look pretty for you, then?” he offered, leaning back with a mock-model pose that drew a reluctant laugh from you, quickly followed by a wince.

“Josh,” you muttered, “I told you, don’t make me laugh.”

His grin softened into something warmer as he reached out, brushing a knuckle lightly across your cheek. “Alright, Baby, no more jokes. Just rest. Once the crew is all packed up and we’re able to head back to the hotel you’ll be able to sleep. Won’t be long.”

A rough hour went by before someone came in to tell you both that it was time to go, and Josh tentatively helped you stand and walk to the van, messily clambering into the nearest seat with much difficulty. 

Turns out Jake had noticed the pyro malfunction too, with being so close to it like you, he told you his own ears were ringing from the blast, and he had even seen you wobble off stage as you struggled to fight against the dizzy aftermath.

“That's why you should always be on my stage side,” Sam boasted, “Jake's shit is always too loud.”

You smiled fondly at the banter, but couldn't find it in you to react with any semblance of real humour, as truthfully, you were struggling to follow the conversation at all. Their voices were entirely too quiet, and you questioned how they were even able to hear themselves. 

Josh patted your thigh from beside you, and when you looked his way, his mouth moved almost soundlessly. 

“Huh?” you asked, leaning in closer to hear. 

Josh frowned, not wanting to raise his voice so as to damage your hearing even more, but knowing how difficult it was for you to hear through your ruptured eardrum. He mouthed a ‘nevermind’ and sent you a sympathetic smile, kissing your forehead sweetly.

Once back at the hotel, your dizziness quelled. You bid your goodbyes to the others, before sluggishly retiring to your hotel room with Josh, who refused to leave your side. 

After helping you out of your clothes and into your pyjamas without tipping over, Josh wandered into the bathroom to get both of your toothbrushes ready.

“I’ll miss this hotel room, ya know? It was one of my favourites,” Josh said, making his way back towards you with your toothbrush. 

“You’re only saying that ‘cause it has jacuzzi jets in the bathtub,” you argued with a small smile before slotting the toothbrush into your mouth. 

He smiled and knelt before you, “Hmm maybe you’re right.” He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. “How are you feeling?”

“Mmmph,” you shrugged, unable to speak around the toothbrush and mouth full of foamy toothpaste. You winced when opening your jaw too wide sent a jolt of pain through the side of your head. 

Josh jutted his lip out, “My poor Baby. I’m sorry this happened to you lovely, I know it’s not fun.” You shrugged, feigning indifference despite the discomfort. Josh helped you stand to make it to the bathroom and spit your toothpaste out. You relieved yourself while he changed, and took some medication as he showered, before settling into bed. 

You sighed heavily once under the covers, watching as Josh waddled around, hands busy as he got your phones into their chargers and things ready for the morning, a toothbrush hanging limply from his mouth, and damp hair dripping water buds down his neck. 

“Alright,” he sighed as he messily rubbed his head with a towel before finally slipping into bed, leaning to switch the bedside light off and shuffling across the bed to reach you. He looped his arm beneath your back and pulled your body against his, letting your good ear rest against his chest. “How’s that? Comfy?”

You hummed a half response, never truly comfortable with the ache in your head, but as comfortable as you could be. As the silence settled in, you became painfully aware of a persistent ringing somewhere in the distance. You wondered if it may be coming from the mini fridge, or maybe the air conditioning, but as you lay there against Josh, wide awake, it grew apparently louder. 

“Josh?” you whispered, and he turned his head towards you, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head.

“Hm?”

“What’s that… What's that ringing? Can you shut it off?” You complained frustratedly, the ringing only making the pain and discomfort worse, nagging you relentlessly. 

“Shut what off?” he asked, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“The ringing… it's so loud,” you waved a hand around the room, “Hurting my ear…”

He was silent for a moment, listening out for what you may be talking about, before he sniffed, “I don't think there's anything ringing in here, sweetheart. Probably just a bit of tinnitus.”

You huffed frustratedly, grumbling something about how difficult it would be to sleep through the noise, and Josh rubbed broad circles on your back with the flat of his palm comfortingly. 

“Aht aht,” he warned, taking your hand from your ear. You hadn't even noticed it travel to the injured spot, fingers moving to crawl in and scratch away the itch that had been faintly nagging you. “I know it’s itchy, beautiful, but touching it will only make it worse. Just try and rest now.” He spoke softly, whispering small words of reassurance, until he himself drifted off to sleep, no doubt exhausted from the travel, the performance, and caretaking.

Your night was long, and mostly sleepless. You tossed and turned, finding minimal comfort in any position as the fluid in your ear trickled around and throbbed. Your ‘uninjured ear’, although without medical attention, felt awful too. Constantly ringing, itching, and showing obvious signs that it was dangerously close to rupturing too.

By morning, Josh packed your bags and sorted everything out with the rental car, insisting you sat idle on the bed until he was done. Your frustration grew throughout the morning as you found yourself unable to hear him as he spoke to you, careful to keep a low volume to protect your hearing. Nevertheless, you pushed your annoyance aside, and let Josh hold you close as he led you out of the hotel and into the rental car. 

The nausea had mostly subsided, but the dizziness and disorientation remained, as well as the aching pain, but you tried your best to ignore it as Josh pulled out of the hotel parking lot and began the treacherous drive south. 

“Croissant?” Josh offered, handing you the wrapped pastry from across the centre console. You muttered a small thanks as you took the pastry from his hand. Though, when you peeled back the paper wrapping and exposed the tip of the croissant, taking a well deserved bite, a shot of pain spiralled through your jaw to your ear. 

"You alright, Honey?” Josh asked immediately, squeezing your thigh at the sound of your wince. 

“Yeah just… hurts to open my mouth,” you frowned, tearing a small piece of croissant off the pastry and shoving it between your lips, only parted slightly now. You grimaced when even the simple act of chewing hurt, and forced yourself to swallow the half-chewed piece of pastry.

Josh frowned, stealing a quick glance at you before turning his attention back to the road. “You don’t have to eat right now, Baby. I can stop later and get you something softer. Maybe soup or, I don’t know, mashed potatoes or something.”

You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips. “Gas station mashed potatoes for breakfast? Sounds gourmet.”

“Hey,” Josh shot back playfully, “I’m just looking out for you. I’d puree the damn croissant if I could.” He reached over again, rubbing his thumb gently over your knee. “We’ll figure it out. You just focus on taking it easy, okay?”

You nodded, letting the croissant sit forgotten in your lap as you leaned your head against the window, staring out at the passing scenery. The world outside blurred as the car rumbled along, each dip and bump in the road reverberating through you, tugging at the ache in your head. You breathed in slowly, willing yourself to stay calm and ignore the discomfort.

But the silence— or rather, the muffled quietness— felt oppressive. Even with Josh humming softly under his breath, you couldn’t escape the incessant, high-pitched ringing in both ears. It was relentless, like a mosquito that wouldn’t stop buzzing near your head. You shifted uncomfortably, rubbing at your temples.

“You okay?” Josh asked softly, sensing your restlessness.

“Yeah,” you murmured, though it wasn’t convincing. “It’s just… I can’t get used to the quiet.” You paused, searching for the right words. “I mean, it’s not quiet for me. It’s loud. I can’t—” You stopped, frustrated by how hard it was to explain.

Josh’s brows furrowed as he glanced at you again. “The ringing?”

You nodded miserably, squeezing your eyes shut as you tried to block it out. “It’s so loud, Josh. It’s driving me crazy.”

His hand found yours on your lap, warm and grounding. He squeezed gently. “I know, Baby. I can’t imagine how frustrating that must be.” He paused for a moment, as if considering something. “You know what Jake always told me when I burst my eardrum a couple years ago and had tinnitus?”

You cracked an eye open, tilting your head just enough to look at him. “What?”

“He got me to focus on something else. Anything else. The more attention you give the noise, the worse it feels. It’s like staring at a bright light– it burns into your vision.”

You frowned, skeptical. “That sounds… too easy.”

Josh grinned, shrugging one shoulder. “Maybe, but it always helped me. Here—” He turned the music on low, just a gentle hum of sound in the background. “Focus on this. Or count the trees we pass, or… hell, count how many times I say something annoying today.”

You laughed weakly, which only earned you a small wince. “It’s not hard to lose count with that one.”

Josh smirked, clearly pleased to see even a faint bit of humor from you. “See? You’re already distracted.”

It didn’t fix the ringing, not really, but it gave you something to latch onto besides the noise and discomfort. The ache in your head ebbed slightly as you focused on Josh’s soft singing over the radio, his voice smooth and steady, even at a whisper.

The hours crawled by, but Josh made sure you were as comfortable as possible. When you stopped for lunch, he insisted on finding a decent place that served soup, running inside himself to grab a warm takeaway container of something creamy and smooth while you waited in the car. He returned triumphantly with a container of tomato soup and a bottle of water, setting them carefully in your lap.

“Nothing but the best for my girl,” he said proudly, settling back behind the wheel.

You smiled faintly, wrapping your hands around the warm container as if it might soothe you. “I feel spoiled.”

“That’s the goal,” Josh replied, leaning over to press a kiss to your temple. “Now eat up. Or... drink up, I guess? I need you feeling better so you can start bossing me around again.”

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

The drive continued, the sunlight growing softer as the day stretched on. By the time you checked into the hotel halfway home, you were exhausted, the ache in your head sapping the last of your energy. Josh carried your bags inside, refusing to let you lift a finger as you trudged to the room.

As soon as you were in bed, propped up by pillows, Josh settled beside you with a sigh of his own. He reached for the remote, flipping idly through channels until he found some old sitcom playing softly in the background.

“Better?” he asked, nudging your shoulder gently.

You nodded, already feeling your eyelids grow heavy. “Better,” you murmured, letting your head rest against his shoulder.

Josh wrapped an arm around you, his thumb rubbing slow circles over your arm. “Good. Get some sleep, Baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

The ringing persisted, faint and constant, but somehow, with Josh’s steady presence beside you, it didn’t seem quite so unbearable.

And as you drifted off, the last thing you felt was his hand brushing through your hair, his voice a quiet promise against your forehead: “We’ll get you home soon, I promise.”

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

By the time you pulled into the driveway of your home back in Nashville the next day, you were utterly drained. Josh parked the car and quickly came around to your side, gently helping you out and steadying you as you shuffled toward the front door. Your equilibrium was completely out of whack, the disorienting swirl of dizziness making every step feel uncertain.

As you crossed the threshold, Josh guided you to the couch, his hand firm but careful on your lower back. “Easy, Baby,” he murmured, helping you lower yourself onto the cushions. You leaned back with a groan, closing your eyes to block out the spinning world.

“I’m gonna make you some tea, alright?” he said, brushing his knuckles against your cheek before disappearing into the kitchen. You heard the clatter of mugs and the low whistle of the kettle, the muted sounds only reminding you of your muffled hearing.

Josh returned a few minutes later with a steaming cup of tea and a warm smile. “Here,” he said, kneeling beside you and holding the cup carefully as you took a slow sip. “Good?”

You nodded, managing a faint smile. “Thanks.”

“Have you had your meds yet?” he asked, setting the tea on the coffee table.

“Not since this morning,” you admitted. Josh frowned and immediately got up, grabbing your pain relief and a glass of water from the kitchen. 

“I’ll go to the chemist first thing tomorrow to pick up the prescription painkillers.”

After making sure you’d taken the low level pain relief you had access to, he joined you on the couch, pulling a blanket over both of you. He settled in, gently moving you to rest your head on his chest. “Wanna pick something to watch or are you gonna try and catch some sleep?” he asked softly, scrolling through the options on the TV with one hand and stroking your head with his other.

You hummed, only hearing the last leg of his sentence, before closing your eyes, letting his warmth and the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing soothe you until you drifted off.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

The next couple of days were a blur of rest and quiet, but the pain only seemed to get worse. By the third day, it was unbearable— sharp, throbbing, and radiating down to your jaw and neck. Each time you swallowed or yawned, a pop of air shot into your ruptured eardrum. It had you clenching your teeth against the feeling and only making the pain worse, aggravating your mood alongside. You could barely move without wincing, and after a bit of convincing, you finally allowed Josh to drive you to the doctor.

The diagnosis wasn’t what you wanted to hear: your ear had become infected.

You sat on the exam table, your arms crossed and frustration written all over your face. Josh stood beside you, his hand resting protectively on your knee. “Shit,” he muttered, his brow creased with worry.

You huffed, trying to tamp down your irritation. “This sucks.”

“It’s gonna be okay,” Josh said softly, giving your knee a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll get the antibiotics, and you’ll feel better soon. I’ve been through this before, remember? It sucks, but you’ll get through it.”

You sighed, nodding reluctantly as the doctor handed Josh the prescription and went over the treatment plan.

Back home, Josh wasted no time getting you settled into bed. He handed you your first dose of antibiotics along with some water, watching closely as you swallowed the pills. “How’s your jaw?” he asked, his voice gentle.

You mumbled a faint response, too sore to form proper words. Even the effort of speaking made your jaw ache, and Josh’s concern deepened as he tucked the blanket around you.

“Alright,” he said softly, brushing a kiss against your temple. “Just rest, Baby. I’ll take care of everything.”

You drifted off almost immediately, the exhaustion and pain pulling you under. Josh stayed by your side for a while, watching you sleep with a worried expression before quietly retreating to the kitchen to make dinner.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

You woke up around seven in the evening, the smell of something delicious wafting through the room. Josh appeared in the doorway with a bright smile, carrying a bowl of soup. “Hey, sleepyhead,” he said, setting the bowl on the nightstand. “I made your favorite— tomato soup with the little pasta pieces you like. Thought it’d be easy on your jaw.”

You smiled weakly, sitting up with his help as he placed the bowl in your hands. The soup was warm and flavourful, the broth soothing as you sipped it carefully. But by the time you reached the pasta pieces, the effort of chewing sent sharp pain shooting through your jaw.

You set the spoon down, your shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry,” you said softly, guilt creeping into your voice. “It just hurts too much to eat.”

Josh’s face softened, and he shook his head immediately. “No, no, don’t apologize. It’s okay, sweetheart. I just want you to feel better.” You gave him a faint, grateful smile before leaning back against the pillows. He kissed your forehead, his thumb brushing gently over your hand. “Try to get some more rest, alright? I’ll clean up and be right back.”

You reached a hand out to him and whined at this, and he stopped his movements to look at you worriedly. 

“What’s wrong, Beautiful?” he asked, tucking away some hair from your forehead. 

“Can you come and lay with me?” you asked, your voice so soft and broken he thought he would melt. 

“Oh, Honey, of course,” he cooed, crawling over the mattress and situating himself beside you, pulling your body to lay across his. You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, and wrapped your arms around him weakly, reaching for any form of connection. Josh soothed you with a flat palm on your back, stroking up and down carefully. 

“I hate this,” you admitted, voice muffled between the pillows and his body, cringing as you felt the sting of tears arrive. “I mean– I haven't even been able to cry about it, cause it just hurts too bad. I hate laying here all day just doing nothing. I hate it so much.”

Josh pulled your body closer, tightening his hold and kissing the top of your head before resting his cheek against it. “My poor girl. Sweet, sweet girl. You don't deserve this. I’m so sorry, my love. Is there anything else I can do?”

You shook your head, breathing in his natural fragrance and sighed, “Just hold me, please.”

You sounded so pained, so lost, and Josh couldn’t help but shrug you a little closer, “Of course, my love. You just need some tender love, I’ve got you.”

Josh continued to stroke your back, whispering soft words of endearment and comfort until you went limp in his arms. He sighed, ridden with distress at the state of you, weak and in pain. He dug through his memories in search for home remedies that helped him the most, but found that at that time in his life, the memories were foggy, clouded by some feverish haze. 

Lifting his hips slightly so as not to wake you, he fished in his back pocket for his phone, and pulled up Jake's contact, typing out a message, ‘I need your advice.’

Jake responded effectively immediately, and Josh slid out from beneath you, careful not to move you too much, and placed a pillow beneath you for you to hold in his absence. Jake's caller ID showed up the second Josh left the bedroom. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Jake asked casually. 

Josh wandered into the kitchen and began preparing himself some food for dinner, “What did you guys do to help me when I fucked up my ear? I can't remember,” he asked, diving straight to the point. 

Jake pondered silently across the line for a few beats, “Uhhh. Well you slept a lot, and we made sure to roll you onto your good side if we ever saw you sleeping on your ear,” he started. “Warm foods, like soups and stews and stuff. You never liked smoothies ‘cause I think the cold made your jaw ache more.”

Josh sighed– these were all things he already knew, and although they were helping you, they just weren't enough. “Is there anything else?” he prodded.

“Look Josh, healing takes time. She’s not gonna get better overnight. You have to give it time and be patient with her.”

Josh sighed. That was not what he wanted to hear. 

“Actually, something else that helped you,” Jake started, and Josh straightened, listening intently. “Danny did some research when our shows were cancelled, and apparently a warm compress with a soft massage on your neck and jaw and stuff really helped ease the pain. You loved it– knocked you out everytime you were up with pain.”

“That’s perfect, thank you.”

“But Josh, I’m serious when I say you gotta be patient. I mean, maybe she’s better at handling it than you, but you were pretty snappy sometimes. Don't take it personally if she gets frustrated with you, just… let her be upset.”

Josh nodded with a sigh, “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind, thanks Jake. And thanks for dealing with me when I was being a dick.”

Jake laughed, “No problem, keep me updated.”

“Will do, love you.”

“Love you too, bye.”

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

The next morning, Josh woke up with you still curled up beside him, your face scrunched in a frown even in sleep. His heart twisted at the sight, wishing he could shoulder your pain instead. He lay there for a moment, gently brushing his fingers over your arm before you stirred awake, blinking slowly as if even that small action was an effort.

“Good morning, baby,” he said softly. “How’re you feeling?”

You let out a small, hoarse sound that wasn’t quite a word, shifting slightly under the blankets.

He sat up, concern etched on his face. “Would you like me to make you some breakfast? Your meds are due in a couple of hours, and I don’t want you taking them on an empty stomach.”

You murmured, “Mmm, not hungry,” your voice faint and muffled.

Josh sighed, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. “I know it hurts to eat,” he said carefully, “But I can make some porridge or oatmeal, so you won’t have to chew.”

Your eyes welled up at his kindness, the frustration of the past few days bubbling to the surface. You nodded slightly but winced at the movement, and Josh winced right along with you, his expression pained as though he could feel it himself.

“‘Kay,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“Alright, sweetheart,” he murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple. “I’ll be right back.”

Josh returned a few minutes later with a small bowl of oats, the hot bowl carefully balanced in his hand. But when he saw your tear-streaked face, his heart broke all over again. Your eyes were red and puffy, and you sniffled quietly, trying to compose yourself.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” he said, his voice thick with emotion as he set the bowl down and sat beside you. He gently wiped away your tears with the pads of his thumbs, his touch impossibly tender. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, settling beside you on the bed. He watched you for a moment, so sad and defeated, and he knew only one thing could make you feel better in this moment. “Is it the cooking? Be honest,” he teased. "I mean, I never prided myself on being a great cook, but surely it's not bad enough to make you cry?"

A watery giggle escaped your lips despite yourself, and he grinned, clearly pleased with the small victory. “There it is. That’s what I needed to see. Don’t let this thing win, okay? You’ve got way too much fight in you for that.”

He reached over, wiping your tears with his thumbs before pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. “You’ve survived worse things. Remember when you sat through that whole documentary on the making of The Godfather? Yeah, this infection has nothing on that.”

You laughed softly, the sound barely there but enough to make his grin widen. “There’s my girl,” he murmured. “Now, let’s get you fed so we can put this mean old infection in its place.”

You nodded faintly, and he helped you take a few spoonfuls of the porridge. It wasn’t much, but it was enough, and soon after, he helped you take your medication.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

About an hour later, you stirred from a restless nap, your body tense with discomfort. “Josh?” you called softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He was by your side in an instant. “What do you need, baby?”

You hesitated, embarrassed. “I… I need to pee.”

“Okay,” he said gently, sliding an arm under your shoulders to help you sit up. “Let’s get you to the bathroom.”

You swayed as he guided you to the bathroom, his arm steady around your waist. By the time you reached the toilet, you were too exhausted and in too much pain to care as he helped you sit down, his movements respectful and careful.

“Take your time,” he said softly, stepping back into the bedroom to give you as much privacy as he could while still being there to support you.

When you were done, he helped you back to bed, tucking you in with a concerned smile. “Want to watch a movie?” he offered, his voice light but tentative.

You let out a faint hum of agreement, snuggling close to him as he pulled you into his side. The warmth of his body and the steady beat of his heart were comforting, though he couldn’t ignore how quiet and weak you seemed.

It broke him to see you like this, so far from your usual self, but he stayed strong for you, scrolling through options before settling on Gilmore Girls.

A few minutes in, you tilted your head toward him. “Can you turn it up? I can’t hear it.”

Josh reached for the remote and turned up the volume a couple of notches. “How’s that?”

“More, please?” you mumbled, frowning.

He paused, looking down at you with a worried expression as he gently brushed a strand of hair from your face. “It’s already pretty loud, baby,” he said softly. “The doctor said to keep things quiet until the infection’s gone at least, remember?”

You huffed, your frustration clear as you turned your face away slightly. “Fine,” you muttered, saying nothing more.

Josh pressed his lips into a thin line, still watching you. After a moment, he offered gently, “How about I turn on the subtitles?”

You blinked up at him, your hearing so muddled that you asked, “Turn on what?”

“Subtitles,” he repeated patiently.

“Oh. Okay, yeah,” you said, your voice tinged with exhaustion. He turned them on, and though it helped a bit, you were still annoyed by how much effort it took to follow the show.

Midway through the episode, you dozed off again, your body giving in to the fatigue. Josh watched you for a moment, his heart heavy with worry and love. He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead as he whispered, “Sleep well, my love.”

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

The next morning, Josh woke to find you already awake, sitting cross legged at the head of the bed with your shoulders hunched, your fingers pressed against your jaw. He frowned as he sat up, hair sticking out in messy tufts.

“Baby,” he mumbled, voice raspy with sleep. “What are you doing up so early? It's barely light out.”

You glanced over at him, eyes heavy with exhaustion. “It hurts,” you whispered. “And it’s so itchy, Josh. I can’t stand it.”

Your hand drifted toward your ear, but before you could touch it, Josh was already moving. Gently but firmly, he caught your wrist and pulled it away.

“Hey, no,” he said, his voice a mixture of concern and gentle authority. “You’re not supposed to scratch or touch it, remember? Doctor’s orders.”

“It’s itchy,” you whined, a tear slipping down your cheek. “And it hurts so much.”

“I know,” he soothed, letting go of your wrist to brush the tear away with his thumb. “But the itching means it’s healing. I promise, baby, you’ve just gotta let it be.”

You sighed heavily, your hand falling limply into your lap as you fought the urge to argue. “Fine,” you muttered, clearly irritated but resigned. “Can I at least have some painkillers or something? My head is pounding.”

Josh nodded immediately. “Of course, my love. I’ll get them for you.”

He slipped out of bed and headed to the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a glass of water, two pills, and a peeled mandarin.

“Here,” he said, setting everything down on the nightstand. “But you need to eat this first,” he instructed, holding the mandarin out to you. You frowned at him but took one slice of the mandarin anyway, biting down gingerly. Almost immediately, you winced and set it back on the plate.

“I can’t, it hurts too much” you said, frustrated and reaching for the pills, “I’ll just take them.”

He shook his head gently, moving the pills from your reach and causing your frown to deepen. “Not on an empty stomach,” he said patiently. You rolled your eyes. “You know that. It’ll make you feel worse."

"I don't care, Josh, just let me take them," you insisted, rather angrily, leaning to grab them, only for Josh to pull them further from your reach, knowing you would be too dizzy to move and get them yourself. Frustration boiled and bubbled in your chest.

"How about I grab you some soup to eat instead?” he suggested.

“I don’t want soup!” you snapped, your voice sharper than you intended. “All I’ve had for the past week is soup, and I’m sick of it! Just…” you trailed off, struggling to find the words that explained your frustration. You hated this, but you hated being mean to Josh even more.

Josh froze for a moment, startled by the outburst. Then, instead of reacting defensively, he exhaled slowly and sat back on the bed, his expression softening.

“Okay,” he said quietly, his voice calm and measured. “I get it. You’re tired, and you’re hurting. Let’s try something different.”

You looked down at your hands guiltily. “I’m sorry, that was mean. You’re only trying to help, I just–”

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. I get it,” he said softly, stopping you from dwelling.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out to touch your arm gently. “Why don’t we take a minute to ease the pain first, hmm? Jake told me a warm compress should help, and then we’ll figure out something for food. Yeah?”

You didn’t answer, but you didn’t stop him as he left the room. When he returned, he had a heat pack in one hand and a reassuring smile on his face.

“Alright, sweetheart,” he said, climbing onto the bed beside you. “Let’s get you comfy. Lay down on your tummy for me.”

Reluctantly, you shifted to lie on your front, your head resting just beside his thigh against the mattress with your bad ear facing up, just as the doctors had advised you. He gently tugged at the collar of your shirt, pulling it aside to expose your neck and shoulder.

“This might feel a little warm at first, tell me if it’s too hot” he warned as he pressed the compress against your jaw. The soothing heat spread immediately, coaxing a small sigh of relief from you.

“Good?” he asked softly, his fingers beginning to work along your jawline.

“Mhm,” you mumbled, the tension in your body starting to ease as your eyes fluttered shut against the sensation.

Keeping the compress balanced over your jaw, he pressed his thumbs, warmed by the heat pack, over the taught muscles of your neck. They moved in slow, deliberate strokes, kneading the muscles that had been tight with pain. He worked up your neck, towards the base of your skull, his touch firm but gentle, careful not to press too hard.

He smiled as you sunk into the mattress with a groan. “There we go,” he murmured, his voice low and comforting. “That’s my girl. Just relax for me.”

You whimpered softly in relief as his fingers found a particularly tight spot near the base of your neck. He chuckled lightly, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple.

“Sounding like you’re enjoying this a little too much,” he teased, a playful smile on his lips.

“Shut up,” you mumbled, your voice muffled against the side of his leg.

He laughed quietly, clearly relieved to see even a flicker of your usual self as his fingers moved to your shoulder. He worked on the knots there, his hands strong but tender as he massaged away the tension.

“I’m just saying,” he continued, his thumbs working magic along your shoulder blade, “if I ever quit the band, maybe I’ll open a massage studio. What do you think? ‘Josh’s Soothing Touch’— catchy, right?”

You couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped you. “You’d need a better name. Sounds like a brothel.”

He gasped dramatically. “Wow. Critique from my number one client already? Tough crowd.”

You smiled faintly, the combination of his warmth, humour, and touch making the pain feel a little less overwhelming. After a minute, he replaced the heat pack from your jaw to your neck, reaching round to grasp your face softly with his hand, the pad of his thumb gently kneading into the muscle of your jaw.

He massaged you there for a little while, before moving the heat pack back to your jaw, and continuing massaging your neck instead.

“Thank you, my love. For taking care of me. I love you,” you whispered, your voice soft but sincere as you broke the comfortable silence.

“Anything for you, my sweet girl. I love you too, Beautiful,” he replied, pressing another kiss to your temple as his fingers continued their careful work. “Now, no more talking, just relax, okay?”

And as the loving magic of his touch pressed in against the overwhelming pain you had been fighting, you finally began to feel a little more like yourself again.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

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[obetrolncocktails]

Make Me Your Master | Josh Kiszka X Reader

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI semi-public sex, oral sex (f. Receiving), Male Sub, Fem. Dom, guided masturbation, dirty talk, graphic descriptions of sex, face sitting, pet names, orgasm denial. JOSH SUB. CHAIN HARNESS. Josh titty sucking :)

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: Whew! It's been a while! This was super fun to write! I wanted this dynamic to seem real, and less like a typically overworked sub/dom relationship. I feel like Josh would express his submission most in his worship of his partner, doing whatever he needs to to please them.

Summary: Damn, damn damn his stylists to hell! Who in their right mind would dress Josh in a harness, let alone one made of chains. Hell, they barely dressed him at all. You couldn't take it. You had to do something about it. Now.

You felt like an exaggerated cartoon character staring at him like you were–like if you dared to look for much longer, everyone would see the drool slipping out from between your lips and down your chin. Coming back to your senses, you cleared your throat and straightened your stance, choosing to lean against the nearest wall as the band’s stylists worked on Josh’s newest outfit for their upcoming music video. They pulled on the already-taut chains that contoured his chest and back so beautifully, adjusting them even tighter so that they would sit securely against his skin. From where you stood, you could see the metal pushing into the softness of his chest, creating noticeable divots. The sight shot blood pumping through your lower body. As a result, heat exploded up your neck and into your cheeks. 

“Are you listening?” You heard someone say distantly, but the words didn’t instantly make sense to you. “Y/n. Babe. Hey.” It was Josh who spoke, stepping forward toward you. 

“Sorry, I just zoned out for a second,” you muttered while running your fingers through your hair, trying your best to casually play it off. 

“What do you think?” He asked, pulling his fingers up to his body, touching the chains and crystals that adorned his chest. “This shit is so tight.” He looked up at you waiting for your opinion. Fuck-It’s not tight enough, you thought. But I know how to fix that. “Is it too much?” He asked, turning to look in the closest mirror. Josh, you’re barely dressed, it’s not enough…you wanted to laugh. Your words were unusually sparse. “Yeah I think it’s too much,” he said, but you snapped out of your stupor to grab him back by his wrist. 

“No!” You said way too loudly. The stylists glanced up at you as they packed away their items. “I mean, it looks great on you,” you admitted, pulling him against you by his bare waist. You bit at your lip, grinning at him, hoping to God he’d read the room properly. “Possibly too good,” you added in a sultry tone, your fingers dancing upon the chains and gems that dangled just above his nipples. You let your gaze drop to your fingers, then raised it very slowly again, catching Josh watching your lips, his face relaxing, but his eyebrows raising with interest. He cleared his throat, looking around the room at the stylists and then back at you. Luckily, Danny had walked in before anything else had to be said. 

“Josh,” Danielle said, raising her chin as she addressed him. “We’re gonna work on Danny for a few minutes. We’ll call you to make final adjustments and then you can go home,” she said. “But don’t run too far away.” You silently slid your hand off of his chest and down to his hand, squeezing it firmly while she spoke. He squeezed your hand back in response, turning his chin just slightly to acknowledge that he understood your silent demand.

“I won’t, I promise,” he said, stepping closer to exit, but you took initiative and practically yanked him out of the dressing room, smiling at the stylists while they grinned back at you, knowing exactly what they had done to you. 

“They know,” Josh said as you pulled him into the hallway. 

“I don’t care,” you snipped, reaching up to his chest to loop your fingers craftily through the chains of his harness, pulling him in for a needy and lustful kiss. He reciprocated instantly, his hands resting softly on your hips as you took charge of what you wanted. 

“Not in the hallway,” He said, evading your lips momentarily to look further down the hall, watching as crew members drifted between rooms. You let him lead you to a new room, his fingers pawing at every doorknob, cursing when they were locked. He pulled another and it opened, the first successful attempt for privacy. Your eyes flitted behind you for a final moment before slipping into the room. Four walls enclosed around you, tighter than you had expected. As you flipped on the light, you realized that it was one of the stylist’s offices. 

“Fuck–” you cursed, reading name plaque on the desk. Jennifer Margera. “Well, Mrs. Margera, I’m so sorry.” You mumbled, turning to lock the door before pushing a layer of papers off of the table top. You turned Josh’s body so that he could sit on the edge of the desk. 

“Are you though?” Josh asked, getting comfortable in his assigned spot, a swath of flowy, cream-colored silk cloaked his scantily-clad body. You pulled at the softness of the fabric, using the tips of your fingers to delicately remove it. 

“Not in the slightest,” You admitted while you worked. “Arms up,” You commanded, tapping his bicep. He appeased you, lifting his arms above his head. Your eyes fell to the masculine crop of hair that grew under his arms, arousal growing between your legs. Josh had always turned you on. He could do it without uttering a single word, and the worst part was that he knew it. He could be masculine and dominant at times, telling you exactly what he wanted and showing you how he would get it–but at other times, his uniquely-feminine qualities would appear in the most intimate moments, the gentle curves of his body pairing with the strength of his muscles. The most sexually satisfying moments for you were ones when he would helplessly bend to your will, so desperate for your attention and touch that he’d do whatever he had to do to get it. 

“You like what they put me in, don’t you Mama?” He asked, the corners of his lips curling slightly upward. Normally you’d roll your eyes at his use of the nickname, but in the moment, you took it as a signal of submission. 

“You look incredible,” you said, tossing the material to the floor. Stepping in between his legs, your fingertips grazed slowly down his bare midriff. You lowered your eyes to watch his skin erupt all over with goosebumps. “What is it, Josh?” You asked, adding a sensuous quality to your voice. You lowered yourself slowly into a squat, placing your hands on his thighs. “What’s on your mind, baby?” you asked him. 

“My cock,” he said frankly, grinning. He’s proud of himself. 

“Isn’t that unfortunate,” You said, standing up and backing away. “Guess you’ll have to fix that yourself.”

“Y/n come on,” he said, standing up off of the desk. You charged forward. 

“Don’t you dare.” You took him into your grasp by his chains once again, pulling your face just in front of his, your lips hovering just above his. “You want me to fix it? You do what I say, when I say it. Do you understand?” You asked, looking at him intently. “I said,” You repeated once more, reaching your free hand down to firmly grip his cock. “Do you understand me?” 

He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes.” He said, his voice strained. 

“Yes, what?” You asked, skillfully using your thumb to rub along what you could feel of his shaft. 

“Y-Yes ma’am,” he said finally. You released your grip once you were satisfied. 

“Sit back down, I want to look at you.” He moved wordlessly to his previous position, sitting on the edge of the desk. “Now…” You said, stepping forward, your eyes skimming over his body. “Let me help move things along.” You reached for the waistband of the flowy white pants they had dressed him in, peeling them from his body, grateful when they slipped off into a pile on the floor. “Now aren’t these pretty,” you said, pulling at his silken underwear. “Pretty little panties,” you added, gleefully watching crimson flush wash upon his neck and into his face. You let them roll down his thighs and off of his legs, dropping them to the floor. 

“Touch yourself for me, baby boy,” you told him. “You look so pretty.” 

“T- touch myself?” He asked, his eyebrows raising. You weren’t so sure why he was suddenly so tentative. Maybe because you were giving him the direct order. 

“Need something to look at, honey?” You asked, offering a syrupy-sweet tone. You pulled at the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your head, and let it drop to the floor. “Tell me how you’d touch me, Josh. Tell me while you touch yourself.”

You watched as he took his semi-erect cock in his hand, beginning to stroke it slowly. His expression was beginning to relax as he watched you standing in front of him. He pressed his teeth down into his bottom lip for an extended moment before speaking. “I’d take your tits in my hands, and squeeze them, pinching your nipples between my fingers.” 

You took his cue, lifting your hands to remove your bra, dropping it into the heap on the floor. You wouldn’t tell him, but in this unfamiliar room, you felt more exposed than you usually would. It wouldn’t matter though, because the amount of arousal that flooded your system was far more potent than the distant worry that loomed about. You pulled your hands to your breasts, kneading them just as Josh would, pinching your nipples firmly between the knuckles of your fingers, letting him watch. “What next, baby boy?” You asked. He grinned at the name. You watched him fuck his hand, his thumb working against his rigid shaft, pressing in against his skin to add the right amount of friction. 

“I’d slip my hand down into your pants and finger your clit, just to get you going. Let me watch you do it this time, Mama.” He bit his bottom lip again, adjusting himself on the desk to rest on his inactive hand, his head tilting as he relaxed into pleasuring himself. 

“You want to watch me finger my clit?” You asked, echoing him. “I’d be happy to.” You brought four fingers to your lips, licking them before sliding them into your leggings and underwear, locating your clit easily. “And how would your fingers work, Josh?” You asked, taking a step or two forward closer to him. “How would you finger my pussy?” 

He raised an eyebrow, obviously enthused. “Usually it would be my tongue-fucking your clit, but since I can’t do that–”

You reached for his face, grabbing hold of his chin gruffly. “That’s not what I asked, pretty boy. Are you going to obey or are you going to be a smart ass?” You loved this act–of feeling in control, especially over Josh. At times he possessed such submissive qualities, that it was difficult to get through the day without daydreaming of instances exactly like this. 

“I’ll be good, I promise,” He said, grateful when you released your grip on him. He was still grinning, but that would change later when he’d beg to cum and you would do everything except appease him. 

“So, my little pet–answer the question. How would you finger my clit, hm?” You asked again. 

“I’d spin my fingers in slow circles around it.” He said, letting his mouth drop slightly open from the pleasure of touching himself. “I’d taste you, putting my fingers in my mouth.” You raised your eyebrows, your lips curling upward. You liked what he had to say. “You taste so good, Mama.” 

“What next?” you asked, doing as he had said, rolling spirals around your swelling clit. You pulled your fingertips out of your pants and inserted them into your mouth, tasting your own slick before bringing them back down. 

“Fuck–” he murmured under his breath, watching you with sagging eyelids. 

“You wish it were you, don’t you?” You asked him, chuckling softly. He nodded, licking his lips. 

“I can be nice,” You added, stepping forward and repeating the process again, pulling your fingers to his lips. “Open up.” You tapped his lips, stopping to slide your fingertips onto his tongue as he opened his mouth. “Suck on them.” He closed his lips around your fingers, his tongue working around them to taste you. His voice rumbled against your fingers as he hummed, immersing himself in the moment. You pulled them out of his mouth. 

“I want to see more. Please.” He said, his voice coming out in almost a whimper. 

“More? And how do you get more?” You asked, guiding him further. 

“Please take your pants off. And your panties. I need to see you. All of you.” His eyes sparkled with intensity, his voice pitching upward as he pleaded. 

“Mm, Good answer.” You reached for your leggings and underwear, pulling them down both at once, kicking them to the side with the other discarded clothing. “Let me help you see better.” Stepping around the desk, you pulled the chair out from underneath it and rolled it back around to rest in front of Josh. You lowered yourself upon it, spreading your legs wider for him to see. 

“But first, hands on your thighs.” 

“What?” He asked, confused. 

“Stop touching yourself. Put your hands on your thighs while you watch. If you slip up just once, we stop, get dressed and leave.”

“No, no, Mama. I’ll be a good boy, I swear.”  He gave in to submission, his hands releasing from his cock to rest flat on his thighs. You watched as his hardness throbbed and twitched almost involuntarily. It set you dripping.

“You’re such a good boy,” you said, returning your attention to yourself, smoothing your fingers over your belly and on down. “Speak to me baby. How would you like Mama to touch herself, hm? It’s all here for you.” 

“I would finger fuck you so well, Mama. I’d make sure you’d get whatever you want, especially with that beautiful clit of yours. I wish I was sucking on it right now.” You let your fingers slide back down in between your folds, feeling the increasing amount of slick coating your fingers. You pinched your middle fingers against your clit, squeezing your core muscles against the sensations that arose from the pressure.

“You know how to say exactly the right thing, my little prince. I’m practically dripping.” You spun slow spirals into your clit, biting your bottom lip as you scooched your lower body forward onto the chair, leaning backward so that he could see an unobstructed view of your pussy. 

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, Mama. Let me touch you, please. I’ll do anything,” He said, his tone turning more insistent and whiny. 

“Anything?” You asked him, moving to insert a finger into your opening, curling upward. It was good, but not nearly as good as Josh would or could be. 

“Anything,” he swallowed. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob up and down. Your eyes traveled along the chains and crystals that adorned his bare chest, and you admired the way they pressed into his soft, supple, but strong physique. You let your gaze fall further until they landed between his legs, watching the tip of his cock drip, momentarily abandoned. 

“Tell me what you’d do.” You said, using your fingers to spread open your pussy, playfully inserting your fingers into your mouth, dripping wet saliva on them and returning them downward to please yourself. 

“I’d eat your pussy so good that I’d forget about my cock, Mama. I just want to make you feel good. I’d cum without touching myself, I just know it.” The way he spoke to you reminded you of a child begging for five extra minutes of playtime. You loved that he was trying to bargain with you in order to touch you. 

“Aw, poor thing,” you said. “You want to eat Mommy’s pussy so badly that you’d give up cumming just for a taste?” He nodded, eyeing you pleadingly, his eyes sparkling with hope that you’d give in. 

“On your knees.” You ordered, standing up, pushing the chair away from you, opening more space on the floor of the office. He moved from the desk quickly, getting in place on the carpet below you. He placed his hands back on his thighs for further instruction. The way he sat reminded you of an eager puppy dog, the way their eyes train on you, following your every move until you pay them the attention they’re owed. 

“I’ll give you a taste,” You told him. “Promise you’ll do a good job?” You asked, stepping forward to hover above him. The way he looked up at you spun your core in knots. 

“I’m only ever here to please you, to serve you,” he said, bringing his hands up to rest on your bare thighs. You let him touch you with no punishment—you’d be half-way conscious in a matter of moments anyway. You knew he’d leave you seizing against his face as he had so many times, and you would never get enough of it. 

“Then show me how well you serve your master,” you spoke, taking the final step forward, his face and neck inclining upward instantly to seamlessly connect with your body.

His tongue was strong but so gentle as he parted your folds for the first time, dragging it along your sensitive skin. You felt his facial hair scratching along the outer edges of your pussy, which only added to the ecstasy of having a man in between your legs—an extremely sexy man, who was submissively under your control, but effortlessly domineering when it came to fucking you. You could both pretend, and it would be fun in the moment, but you were foolish to believe that the man below you couldn’t make you cum in mere minutes. He held the power like a hidden ace, and you were very-well aware of it. He still let you play the game, enjoying the bratty names and power play. 

Josh pressed his face against you as you stood over him, and you grounded yourself, squatting lower so that gravity worked in your favor as he continued to eat your pussy. “Use your tongue,” you ordered. “So many girls watch you while you sing. They know you eat pussy well. Too bad they don’t have you between their legs.” You ground your pussy against his face, feeling his tongue working in wide loops against every surface. He took the risk of teasing your clit, avoiding contact for as long as he dared before flicking the strong tip of his tongue against it in fast spurts. In moments where it felt like you couldn’t take much more without cumming, he’d flee from your clit to lap up the juices that would collect at your entrance. You felt him humming against your skin as if you had prepared him a delicious meal to eat, his hot breath sweeping over your thighs when he’d come up gasping for air. 

“Fuck–” you moaned quietly, licking your lips as you processed the pleasure coursing though your body. “Fuck, that feels amazing.” He looked up at you with an almost innocent smile, his eyes sparkling with fervor as he licked his lips. 

“Am I doing a good job?” He asked you, rubbing his hands up your thighs and sides. You nodded quietly. 

“Keep going, baby. Do your job.” You said, trying your best to regain your authoritative demeanor. He was eager to please, his hands glued to your thighs as he spread them further apart, forcing you further down into the squat. 

“Don’t worry, Mama. Relax,” He told you. “I’ve got you.” He somehow read your mind, knowing that you’d feel self-conscious in this precarious, unbalanced position. Soon enough he’d have you teetering out of balance, the only thing keeping you upright being his strong arms. You breathed in deeply, letting him return to his pace. You felt him slip his tongue into your opening with no hesitation, fucking you with the tip as his fingers beared further into your skin. You let your back arch where you stood, squeezing your muscles against his face. He was an expert at this, and his confidence showed you that he knew it, too. You closed your eyes, reaching down to place your hands on his for a moment, showing him silent satisfaction. He removed one of his hands after a moment and brought it between your legs, inserting them into your opening, and moving his tongue back up to your swollen clit. 

“Jesus–fuck!” You hissed through your teeth, bringing your hands up to your tits, squeezing them in your hands, your nipples hard and erect against your palms. Josh had wrapped his free arm around your body, his hand splayed open against your ass and back as he pulled you firmly against his face. You felt his tongue and lips undulating wildly against your pussy, his fingers curling with abandon against your inner walls. Wet, sloppy noises filled the room, and you knew that they definitely could be heard in the hallway if someone were listening intently. “Oh my god!” You whimpered far too loudly, slamming your palm against your lips as you remembered where you were, the ecstasy flowing through your system far too immense for you to downplay any longer. 

Josh heaved a breath, coming up briefly for air. “Cum for me, Mama. Please cum all over my face. I want to taste you when you finish over my tongue.” His face was red with friction, his lips close to chafing. He didn’t care for an instant. His face would look completely fucked-out by the time he returned to the dressing room, but he didn’t care. He didn’t serve the stylists, only you. He wiped his lips casually before centering himself again underneath you, returning to your pulsing core. This time, he focused solely on your clit, using his agile tongue to flutter skillfully against the bud, sending your body climbing through a mountain-excursion, purposefully releasing his touch from you to pull you back down from the summit so that the very next time it would be even more intense. 

Your body quaked against your will, momentarily stealing with it most of your power over him. Josh was a submissive lover most of the time, but when it came to doing his job, he’d be sure to make you cum in ways you had never experienced with anyone else. He worked your pussy like it was a sacrament–something to be relished and celebrated, and you’d do nothing to stop him from doing exactly that. “Fuck-f–” you sputtered, feeling your hips beginning to buck instinctively, your body barreling toward the apex of climax. Your skin began to prickle with sweat from exertion and you felt your hair beginning to stick limply to your forehead and cheeks. “Josh! Josh–please–” You groaned in skittering gurgles that poured weakly from your throat. Your dominant tone had diminished to nothing, replaced with thin and pathetic whines that snatched away the demanding quality you had previously possessed. You knew that you’d regain power and composure, but you were too far gone in the moment to even consider it. 

Josh’s tongue moved faster and stronger than ever, his lips buzzing against your clit, his hands wrapped around your hips in a silent dare for you to move away from him. Your legs weakened above him, your thighs shuddering and squeezing tightly against his face. You collapsed forward on yourself, grateful for the strength of Josh’s grip on your body. You reached down, pulling and yanking at his hair, in a half hearted attempt for him to pull away from you, but he wouldn’t until he felt you finally cum–and even then, you knew he’d take his time lapping up the product of the orgasm, and you’d let him as a reward for a job well done. When he began to shake his head back and forth, his tongue contorting and flicking wildly, you knew you were done for. You finally let your eyes roll backward and you gave in to the torrent of sexual agony that roared through your entire body, leaving you to quiver pathetically above the one you had supposedly claimed was your subordinate. His tongue slowed, but he did not stop; instead, he moved lower to your entrance, lapping up and savoring the climax that leaked from you, diligent to not waste a single drop. 

“Holy fucking shit,” You said through a heaving sigh, pushing him away from you so that you could regain your breath. You had expected to see it, but you hadn’t prepared for the way he would look when he came up for air himself. The makeup that the stylists had applied was severely smudged–embarrassingly so. His face and lips were rubbed raw, and his hair had been pulled and yanked out of its styled appearance, making it impossible for anyone to not catch on to what had happened behind this closed door. 

“Oh my God, your face,” You chuckled, reaching for him as he rose from the floor. 

“I don’t care,” he said this time. “That was fucking worth it,” he grinned, pressing his lips together. “My lips are numb.” He said, pulling his thumb to swipe along his mouth. 

“Let me show you how much I appreciate you for your amazing work,” You said, walking him back to the desk. “Sit. Let me take care of you, Baby.” He wordlessly did as he was asked, sitting on the edge of the table, waiting for you. To your amazement, he was still hard between his legs. “You loved tasting me, didn’t you, hm?” You asked, reaching forward to hover your lips above his, surprising him by taking his cock in your hand. 

“I loved it so much,” He said lustfully, his gaze fixed on your lips as you increased the pressure of your hand against his cock. “Can I please kiss you?” He asked, his head tilting forward, drawn by some kind of magnetism. You appeased his request, letting him fall into your kiss easily, his head bobbing and tilting as you touched him. You parted from the kiss, lowering yourself in front of him. You were sure he was expecting a blow job, but you evaded that expectation by moving to his chest to suckle on his round, erect nipples. You made a show of flicking your eyes upward through your lashes as you fluttered the tip of your tongue against his hard nipple, eventually closing your mouth around it to suckle upon it. He groaned deeply, the sounds escaping his throat in deep, raspy strains. Josh let his head tip backward as he closed his eyes, his hands moving to rest upon your shoulders. 

“Josh! I know you’re in there,” someone almost shouted on the other side of the door as they knocked forcefully on it, sending you springing away from Josh. It was Danny. “They’ve been trying to call your phone for the last fifteen minutes. Finish up whatever you’re doing and come on.” 

“Fuck,” You whispered dejectedly, reaching for his clothing. 

“It’s okay, Mama. To be continued…” he said, hopping off of the desk. 

“If you act right,” you said, with a wink. “You’ll just have to wait a little longer.” You bit your bottom lip, scheming up ideas for how you’d tease him until you’d finally give him his well-earned reward. 

End of Part 1.

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[asacredthebread]

Crimson Desires

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Josh Kiszka x f!reader - 18+

𝙴𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚎𝚢.

Warnings/Themes: BLOOD KINK, exploration, knife implication, penetration

wc; 3581

You found yourself in a dimly lit room, a space that seemed to hum with an electric tension. The air was thick with anticipation, and you could feel your heart racing in your chest. He stood before you, his distinctive brown mullet framing his face, the strands catching the faint light like flickering flames. His brown eyes, usually so warm and inviting, now held a glint of something deeper—something that made you both excited and slightly uneasy.

This wasn’t just another evening in your shared world; tonight was different. You both had decided to push boundaries, to explore a realm you had only teased at before, and the thrill of it made your skin prickle with a mix of fear and exhilaration. Josh took a step closer, the space between you charged with unspoken promises.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice low and steady, yet laced with a hint of vulnerability. You nodded, your gaze locking onto his, affirming your desire to embark on this journey together. As you watched him, you recognized the strength he drew from your shared trust; it gave him courage, and it fortified you too.

You had talked about a blood kink in abstract terms before, but now it was real—tangible and alive in the air around you. In the confines of your safe haven, with soft cushions and cascading shadows, you were ready to dive deeper into your desires.

As the first step, he suggested a simple act; a small prick, a hint of blood to awaken the senses and draw you both into that swirling abyss of pleasure and pain. You felt a flutter in your stomach as he retrieved a small, sharp object from the table and returned to your side. His fingers brushed against your skin, sending shivers racing along your spine.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, his eyes locking onto yours, searching for certainty. You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. You could see his dedication in the furrow of his brow, the way his lips pressed into a thin line as he steadied his hand.

“Yes,” you whispered, and that simple word seemed to ignite a fire between you. He pressed the object gently against your skin, and you closed your eyes, ready to accept the strange thrill of what was to come. The sharp sting was quick, followed by the warmth of your own blood trickling down. You felt a rush of adrenaline and something more—a release.

Josh’s eyes widened, not just in surprise but in admiration. He was captivated by your resolve, by the way you embraced this uncharted territory. The warmth from the small cut mingled with the heat radiating from your bodies, creating an intoxicating cocktail that made your pulse race.

He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “You’re incredible.” The praise sent a jolt of electricity through you, amplifying the sensations you were already experiencing. His lips brushed against your skin, tasting the metallic tang of blood; you could see the raw hunger in his gaze, a primal need ignited by the act.

With every kiss, every suck of your skin, the world around you faded. The intimacy deepened, the lines between pleasure and pain blurring beautifully until they were one and the same. You felt alive, vibrant, a burst of color in the muted hues of the room.

As the moments stretched on, the two of you lost yourselves in the exploration of boundaries, the thrill of desire and surrender tugging at your souls. You felt safe in the tempest of emotions, the trust you had forged illuminating the darkness surrounding this new adventure.

And there, in the embrace of your shared exploration, you both learned something vital: that vulnerability could bloom into strength. Together, you took the leap into the depths of desire, forever changing the landscape of your relationship and the way you viewed the boundaries of intimacy. In that dimly lit room, you were no longer just partners; you were explorers, conquerors of new frontiers woven together by misplaced courage, love, and the rhythm of your hearts beating as one.

In the warm, muted light of the room, the atmosphere became thicker, charged with a heady mix of desire and trust. The initial sting lingered on your skin, a reminder of your shared leap into this new realm. With each pulse of your heart, you felt the boundaries of pleasure and pain intertwining as Josh continued to explore the sensation.

He leaned in closer, his breaths warm against your freshly pricked skin, and you could see the wild excitement dancing in his brown eyes. With a low growl, he pressed his lips against the small wound, drawing a gasp from you. The quick, sharp intake of breath sent the blood rushing to your cheeks as he lingered there, his tongue gently tasting the metallic warmth. You felt both vulnerable and powerful, exposed and exhilarated.

"God, you taste incredible," he murmured, his voice gravelly and filled with an intensity that made your whole body tremble. You could hear the hunger in his tone, feel it vibrating between you, and it stirred something primal within yourself.

With your heart racing, you reached out to him, fingertips brushing against the curls of his brown mullet, guiding him closer still. Your body ached for his touch, a need ignited by his boldness. His hands moved like fire, trailing across your sides, possessing you, igniting every nerve ending with a sense of urgency.

“Tell me what you want,” he said, his voice low, almost a growl; you could feel his breath against your ear, sending thrilling shivers down your spine. The question held a weight, loaded with the promise of exploration and indulgence.

“Just… don’t stop,” you whispered, your own voice coming out bold yet breathless. And with that, he seemed to unleash something deep inside himself, the tension morphing into a torrid dance of passion.

He captured your mouth with his, the kiss fierce and fervent, a violent clash of lips as he pulled you closer, the scent of him intoxicating—you could smell hints of the outdoors, mixed with the sweetness of adrenaline and desire. You surrendered willingly, losing yourself in him as he tasted you, devoured you with a hunger that matched your own.

His hands explored, roaming beneath the hem of your shirt, the fabric slipping easily in his grasp. You gasped into the kiss as he traced the delicate curve of your waist, drawing you against him, feeling how your body responded in kind. The heat between you was consuming, and every touch was laced with a sense of urgency that electrified the air.

As the kiss deepened, the world around you faded until there was nothing but the two of you—lost in a tempest of sensation. With every languid stroke of his fingers against your skin, every delicate nip of his teeth, you felt the boundaries of your pleasure expand further still.

“More,” you encouraged, pulling him even closer, as if attempting to merge your bodies completely. The words came out like a plea, raw and desperate. Josh responded immediately, his lips trailing down your neck, following the path where blood had dribbled, kissing the warmth, licking it from your skin.

He responded with rapture, his hands moving with purpose. They found the clasp of your bra, deftly undoing it, exposing your skin to the cool air. A shiver ran through you as he took a moment to admire you, his eyes darkening with desire. You felt completely bared before him—vulnerable yet entirely alive.

“You’re stunning,” he said, his voice a low rumble, and in that moment, you felt like an exquisite treasure, a flame igniting within him. He lowered his mouth again, this time capturing one of your breasts with his warm mouth, swirling his tongue around your hardening nipple. You moaned softly, the sound of your pleasure echoed in the dim light, fuelling his fervor.

Beneath his ministrations, your senses heightened; the pleasure rose within you like an inevitable wave, crashing against the shores of your mind. You found yourself lost, surrendering completely to the tide of submission and ecstasy.

“Josh…,” you gasped, feeling your body arch into him as he continued his onslaught of sensation. The weight of your desires tangled together, each touch weaving a spell that kept you both entwined in this thrilling exploration of pleasure that seemed to stretch on forever.

With a deep kiss, he pulled you back towards him, your bodies colliding in a dance of skin against skin. He wanted to know you—every inch, every whisper, and every pulse. You felt the world pivot around you, transformed by the tension and release, by the trust that deepened with each shared secret.

And as he journeyed further into this new territory with you, you knew that you had crossed a threshold together, hand in hand, exploring the wild depths of your desires, forever changed by the intimate bond you were crafting under the flickering, intimate light of the room.

As the intensity of the moment increased, your bodies intertwined in a rhythm that felt both thrilling and sacred. You could feel every heartbeat, every whisper of breath exchanged between you—a silent conversation conducted entirely through desire. Josh’s hands roamed with an urgency that promised exploration and intimacy, and you found yourself arching into him, craving more of his touch.

“Tell me what you need,” he murmured between kisses, his voice thick with lust and a hint of command. The raw intimacy of the question sent a shiver down your spine, igniting every nerve in your body. You wanted to surrender completely to this moment, to let go of your inhibitions and plunge into the depths of your desires.

“I want to feel everything,” you replied, the words spilling from your lips as a desperate plea. “I want to explore… the pain, the pleasure. I want to push the boundaries together.”

His eyes darkened with intensity, a flicker of hunger sparking in the depths of his brown gaze. It ignited something primal within both of you—a raging fire that couldn’t be contained. With a gentle but firm grip, he guided you to lie back on the soft surface of the cushions, your heart racing as he hovered over you.

“Then let’s find out where this takes us,” he said, and the sound of his voice sent waves of anticipation rolling through you. Slowly, deliberately, he reached for the small object that had started your exploration, the sharp edge catching the soft light, and as he held it, you felt a rush of exhilaration mixed with a hint of trepidation.

With deliberate care, he pressed the object against your skin once more, just below your collarbone, a sharp sting followed by a warm trickle that sent pleasure spiraling through your body. You gasped, a floodgate of sensations bursting open as he traced the small line of blood with his fingers.

“Such a gorgeous response,” he murmured, his voice husky with desire. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your skin, tasting the warmth, and the intimacy of the act sent a surge of excitement thrumming through your veins. You could feel the heat pooling low in your belly, a deep ache of longing that begged for release.

In that moment, every tension from your body melted away, replaced by a primal instinct that urged you forward. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him into you, a silent demand for more, for deeper connection. Your fingers tangled in his hair, urging him to explore further, to taste every inch of you as you spiraled deeper into this new dance.

With every kiss and lick, he brought you closer to the precipice, the line between ecstasy and agony blending into one euphoric sensation. He experimented, plunging deeper into the exploration of your desires, each movement pushing and pulling at the edges of your pleasure.

The sensations danced beyond mere physicality; it was a bonding, a weaving together of your souls, a tapestry of trust that was becoming richer with every drop of blood he drew and every moan of delight you breathed into the air. He took his time, his exploration unhurried yet fervent, savoring each taste, each inhalation of your essence.

“More,” you breathed again, your voice a mix of desperation and longing. You could feel the heat emanating from both of you, the energy crackling in the air like static before a storm. Josh obliged, moving closer, his body hovering right above yours as he adhered to your every need with a fervor that made your heart race.

He brought the object back, this time tracing a delicate line along your thigh, and your breath hitched as the sensations ricocheted through you. Your body responded instinctively, your skin alive with warmth as he drew the softest whimpers from your lips.

“Good, just like that,” he encouraged, his voice rough as he reveled in your reactions. He pressed more firmly, the sting mingling with waves of pleasure, a intoxicating cocktail that blurred the edges of reality.

You could feel the heat blooming deep inside you, igniting with every stroke of his tongue, every gentle bite. You closed your eyes, feeling your senses heighten, the world around you drifting away until there was only the two of you, lost in this relentless journey of pleasure and exploration.

As the moments stretched into an eternity, you surrendered completely—body, heart, and soul—lost in the delicious intensity of the connection between you. You could feel the impending release beginning to build within you, a powerful wave rising higher with each passing touch, each heartbeat.

With a passionate kiss, he pulled you closer, his body diving deeper into this world you were creating together. You whispered his name like a mantra, lost in the thrill of the moment as you spiraled toward the edge. The world around you faded completely, the only reality being your shared breaths, your entwined bodies, the exquisite sensations capturing your consciousness.

And as you finally succumbed to the bliss, cresting the wave that you had built together, it was with that overwhelming sense of trust and intimacy that you found yourself completely engulfed in ecstasy—two souls intertwined, exploring every inch of each other’s desires and tastes—the journey always leading back to each other.

As the waves of ecstasy slowly receded, you found yourself enveloped in a haze of warmth and blissful surrender. The world around you began to come back into focus as Josh held you close, the rhythmic beating of his heart syncing perfectly with your own. You could feel the aftershocks of pleasure coursing through your body, gentle pulses of delight still lingering in the aftermath as you nestled against him.

He brushed your hair away from your face with tender fingers, his gaze softening as he admired you in the dim light. There was an intimacy in his eyes that made your heart swell, a connection that transcended beyond the physical exploration you had just shared. “You okay?” he asked, his voice low and full of warmth, filled with genuine care.

You nodded, a smile breaking across your face as you caught your breath. “More than okay,” you murmured, the weight of the experience settling in, leaving you feeling blissfully spent yet utterly fulfilled. The fleeting moments of vulnerability had transformed into a reassuring sense of security.

Josh shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow to get a better look at you. He brushed his thumb gently against your cheek, the tenderness of the gesture making your heart flutter. “I’m really glad we did this,” he said, his thumb now trailing down your neck, where the warmth still lingered from the intensity of the preceding moments.

“I am too,” you replied, surprise mingling with sincerity in your voice. It was more than just the physical connection; it was the depth of trust that enveloped both of you. “It felt… so right.”

As you both found a comfortable position, he pulled you into a more secure embrace, cradling you against his chest. You listened to the familiar sound of his heartbeat—an intoxicating lullaby that seemed to soothe the edges of the frantic energy you’d both released.

“Do you want some water?” he asked softly, still cradling you closely, as if ensuring you felt safe and cherished. The thought of a cool drink seemed enticing, but the warmth of his body against yours was too comforting to leave just yet.

“Maybe in a little bit,” you replied, your voice still a bit breathy. Instead, you shifted closer, ensuring your bodies remained entwined. The closeness felt electric but reassuring, an afterglow that spoke of shared experiences and deepening intimacy.

The silence stretched comfortably, punctuated only by the soft sounds of your breathing—each inhale filled with the lingering scent of him, a comforting mixture of his cologne and the warmth of your skin. As your heart rate began to slow, you felt the quietude wrap around you like a warm blanket.

After a moment, he broke the silently shared solace. “You know, I love that we can explore like this,” he said, his voice laced with sincerity. “It’s rare to find someone you can share all of this with… to be so open and free with.”

You melted further into him, feeling a profound sense of connection bloom between you. “I feel the same way,” you admitted, a shy smile spreading across your lips. “It’s liberating… to feel so safe and understood. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it.”

His eyes glimmered with affirmation. “We can keep exploring if you want,” he offered, the prospect of further intimacy igniting a spark of curiosity. “But only if you’re comfortable. Aftercare is just as important as everything that happened before.”

You could see the sincerity in his gaze; it reassured you that your comfort and desires would always come first. “What do you mean by aftercare?” you asked, genuinely curious about the next step to take.

Josh took a deep breath, his brow furrowing slightly as he considered his words. “It means taking the time to reconnect, to allow our bodies and minds to settle back into the present. It’s about continuing to care for each other after we’ve given so much,” he explained, his fingers still tracing small circles on your back.

His words resonated deeply within you, the importance of aftercare suddenly apparent. “That sounds nice,” you remarked softly. “What did you have in mind?”

With a playful smile, he shifted, pulling you with him so that you laid side-by-side. He rummaged through the nearby drawer, producing a small soft blanket that he draped over both of you, the fabric a cool comfort against your flushed skin.

“First, we can share some water,” he stated, his eyes glinting with mischief. He reached for a bottle from the bedside table, unscrewing the cap before taking a long sip. Then, he held it out to you, his eyes watching you intently. “Your turn.”

Taking a sip, the cool liquid washed over you, refreshing and grounding. As you handed the bottle back, you suddenly felt shy under his gaze, but his expression held nothing but warmth. With a playful smirk he brushed a few loose strands of hair behind your ear, the gesture gentle and intimate.

“Next, some cuddles,” he proposed with an inviting grin. You couldn’t help but return the smile as he enveloped you within his embrace, wrapping you tightly in his warmth. The world around you faded away again, the intimacy of the moment filling every space in the room.

Lying against him, you savored the softness of his touch, the way his fingers found their way back to stroking your hair, down your back, working to soothe you. “You did so well,” he murmured, his voice wrapped around you as if lulling you into a serene state. “I’m proud of you for being brave and open with me.”

Your heart swelled; you basked in his praise and felt cherished in a way you hadn’t expected. “Thank you,” you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper. The honesty in his words created a bubble of safety, allowing you to relax even further into the tranquility of the moment.

As the minutes turned to hours, the atmosphere settled into a gentle rhythm filled with quiet laughter and soft conversations. You exchanged stories, sharing glimpses of your pasts that only deepened your bond. Each moment felt like a thread weaving the fabric of your connection tighter, crafting something beautiful and profound.

In those soft hours, you both explored the nuances of each other’s desires, boundaries, and dreams—each confession nurturing the intimacy that had blossomed between you. Glances became lingering, fingers entwined as warmth enveloped you, turning shared vulnerability into reassuring strength.

Eventually, as the first light of dawn began to filter through the curtains, washing the room in golden hues, you found yourself basking in the gentle aftermath of everything you had shared. The world beyond faded, leaving just the two of you entwined in each other’s arms, hearts open, promises exchanged in the language of touch.

In that serene moment, wrapped in warmth, you realized that what had begun as simple exploration had transformed into something infinitely more—a connection you were both eager to nurture as you navigated this uncharted territory together. And as the sun rose high, brightly heralding a new day, you knew you would face it together, hand in hand.

[katuschka]

Everybody's Got a Secret

Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

3.393 words

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings: This is filth!, mild erotic asphyxiation, unprotected penetrative sex, oral sex (both f and m receiving), light bondage, masturbation, dirty language, sub&bratty&cheeky Joshua, open relationships

Masterlist Taglist

My doors were always open, and no questions asked. Everybody’s got a secret, and in this particular case, in this time and space, his secret had my name.

No strings, no obligations. Both of us had those already somewhere else. Both in long-term relationships with other cocks that just weren’t always available… or able. Hence the arrangements were made and doors were opened…

When my husband was out of town, which happened more often than not, I spent my days in my downtown apartment, because I hated the big and quiet country house when he was not in it, playing his piano or keeping fit in his basement gym. Always a hopeless romantic, an old soul in a mature body, he made sweet love to me in that house. With his kids already raised and gone, he offered me a new chance, away from the abuse and sorrow that was my old life. He gave me an opportunity to pursue my dreams and a new home in that big, silent mansion. Always grateful, I cooked his meals and did the laundry there. 

And we both knew that it was not enough. I would do anything for that angel of a man. He couldn’t do everything for me. But that’s ok. Everybody’s got a secret, and he willingly granted me mine. I wasn’t delusional either, I knew there were other women… 

So, as long as he didn’t know the details, I could do whatever I wanted in my cherished hiding place, the only condition being that I pay my rent. Fair enough. More than fair. It was a place where I reigned, after all. The big house was my home only as long as he wanted me there, but that was it, that was the agreement, too. So I eventually learned to fend for myself in every way. That was our mutual goal. One day, I would be alone again. I was almost sure of that. But thanks to him, I would no longer be lost. 

It was a bit different with Josh. He had almost everything since the day he was born, and he gained even more as the years went by, simply because he was talented and brilliant and surrounded by his equals literally since the days he was still in the womb. He had people. He had love too, and they were almost a perfect match, save for just one tiny little thing. Josh was a shameless slut, always on a hunt for a healthy dose of naughtiness and depravity. Josh loved dirty fucking, he loved to experiment and he needed his fix from time to time.

His man just couldn’t force himself to do it. He only made love to him. He also didn’t have enough holes. Or meaty pillows. Not exactly Josh’s preference, but a welcome bonus when it just clicked. To keep things interesting, he said. That was when I entered the building…figuratively speaking, because I never EVER crossed the threshold of their house. Secrets don’t do such shit.

He knew about my existence, and that was ok, as long as he didn’t know my name or my face. The sentiment was mutual. He didn’t want to meet me, see me, acknowledge me. Ever. Josh made sure he wouldn’t. 

So, my doors were always open and Josh called whenever he needed. This time, my phone rang at 2 a. m..

It was a 45 minute drive from his place to mine, depending on the traffic. At night, it would be less, but still enough time for me to get ready. So, when he rang my doorbell at last, I answered in his favorite vintage slip dress, holding two glasses filled with wine. Like a valley doll. 

“Well, well, well, what brings you here at this ungodly hour?” I teased, watching him grin at me in return. 

“Stupid question, darling,” he answered, while running his finger gently down my bare upper arm. “The reason remains the same. You’re a comfort blanket for my dick, and I need you to do some ungodly things to it tonight.”

“That’s a lovely sentiment. So you need to have your dick comforted?” I snickered and handed him his glass and he nodded in appreciation, taking a sip without breaking eye contact, pursing his lips around the rim with the tip of his tongue sticking out just a tiny bit. He always did that when he wanted to communicate his neediness. “What happened? Trouble in paradise?” I cooed, while making room so he could enter.  

“Don’t ask, and I shall not lie, remember? But since you asked so nicely – no. I have had some trouble with certain lyrics. I need my muse. Will you help me?” He wasted no time, already making a beeline to my bedroom. Pausing at the door, he glanced back at me, fishing for the answer he didn’t need. Of course I would. 

“Always there,” I chirped again and stuck my tongue out at him playfully, following him without haste.

Pausing in the doorway, I leaned against the door frame and took a sip, watching him unzipping his fly already. He was always gorgeous, whether dressed in plain white cotton or embroidered organza. But preferably naked. Lean, but not skinny. Toned, but sweet. Bare like a statue…until he raised his arms up and I fainted. Always. 

“Eager, aren’t you! So no small talk today, I assume?” I was eager too, knowing what was coming. 

Always a tease, he rolled his hips lewdly and, glancing at me through the ridiculously long curtain of his eyelashes, he puckered his lips, inviting me to join him by the bed with a loud and playful smack. “It’s not a day, darling. We’ve no time to waste before the sun comes up and orders us to be elsewhere.” 

A fucking poet, sometimes spitting dreamy verses down at me even in between moans during the actual animalistic process of fucking, like a true artist that he was. I watched how he batted his eyelashes at me again. Ridiculously long, indeed… “Did you put some mascara on, Josh?”

“And if I did?”

I licked my front teeth in silent anticipation. He was needy and ready to play the mouse, which in return made me greedy and instantly wet. Meow! “Joshua! Do you want to cry tonight?”

After he took off the last sock, he flexed his shoulders and straightened, facing me completely; already stark naked and already completely hard, his second weeping head nodding at me, greeting me like an old friend. “I voiced a plea, and I gave you a hint. You’re the director tonight.”

The plan formed in my head the moment he called. Even before that, actually. I’d lie if I said that I didn’t care about what he did for a living and how. Watching videos of him performing was one of my favorite leisure activities when he was away and out of touch. It made the anticipation ever so sweet, because his stage presence was just as sensual as his bed behavior. I knew what he was capable of, while others only imagined. 

“Did you bring your payment with you?” The word payment was a deliberate, whorish choice, completely ok only because I was the one who started using it one day, and the only one allowed to use it. God forbid if I’d ever heard it leave his mouth. He’d have to dry hump the mattress instead, and let me watch his torments. He loved the whore in me, but alas! The only way to get a taste of it was to treat me with respect. Night-time calls meant that he would have to grant me one wish, often in the form of a prop.  At night, I was ALWAYS in charge, giving him what he wanted, but it was always delivered my way. 

This time, I ordered him to bring one of his beaded scarves he wore onstage. Now he pulled it from his man purse and placed it in my waiting hand ceremonially, like a cherished treasure, smiling at me with little sparks dancing behind his pupils. “Am I going to be tied up with this?” 

“Oh no baby, I have my handcuffs for that.” He watched me swirl the scarf around his head and tie it tightly around his neck, leaving one end long enough to tickle his left thigh. Swinging it like a pendulum, I let the heavily beaded end hit his throbbing cock with a faint tinkling sound. 

I reveled in watching his immediate reaction: his eyes widened and lips parted in shock. He quickly tried to hide it by darting his tongue out and curling it against his upper lip, but his heaving chest betrayed him. This was when he was at his cutest, figuratively or literally on his knees, but always too stubborn to give in entirely.

“See, I’m gonna use it as a leash, if necessary,” I explained and took a small step back to admire my work. “Don’t you like the idea?”

He narrowed his eyes at me and those plump lips curled up into that bratty grin again. “Oh I like the idea very much. I’m ready to be…bad.” 

“Bad,” I whispered,and circled him like my prey, which is what he essentially was. Hugging him from behind, I let my hands travel up his chest, grazing his right nipple with my fingernails while the fingers of my left hand closed around his throat. “Bad boys don’t whine,” which was exactly what he did when I applied a little bit more pressure. He tilted his head back and rested it on my shoulder, eyes closed, showing me how much he loved being under my control. 

“You look really lovely like this. Makes me think… You know what we haven’t tried yet?” I was now intentionally rubbing my lace-covered tits against the tense muscles of his back, whispering those words sultrily right into his ear.

“No…” It was but a hoarse whisper already. It was fascinating how much power his voice normally held, but I always managed to gag him with ease. 

“I'm thinking… pegging you from behind, doggy style. With this,” I tugged at the scarf demonstratively. He yelped, his knees buckled for a split second and his whole body shook as if from cold. He was stupendously aroused. I loved it!

“Yeah, exactly. Like a bitch,” I twisted the end of the scarf around my hand and tugged again. The most delicious whimper escaped his lips and I watched him wrap his right hand around his twitching cock, while the left one reached behind and rested on my thigh. He gave himself a few slow strokes, then slid the hand down to cup his balls. “Oh yeah, please, do that, I’m already aching…”

“I’m really glad you like the idea, baby, but not today. Another time.”

“Why not?” He turned around and tried to win me over with those puppy eyes, but I had a very clear vision in my head. It had occupied my mind so much that I already bought some new additions to my bedroom inventory, just for him. I grabbed the scarf again and drew him closer to me so that our lips were almost touching. I tightened my grip, holding the scarf right under the knot below his ear, and twisted my fist slightly. He swallowed with difficulty and his wide eyes glimmered with undiluted lust. I licked his parted lips with the tip of my tongue until his eyes rolled back. Only then I finally released him and he stumbled backwards.

“Because you wanted me to do ungodly things to your dick, not your ass. Now onto bed, chop chop.” I smacked his tiny, perfectly rounded ass and he obliged, climbing on the bed with exaggerated sway like a tomcat, performing just for me. He turned around then, and spread his legs, licking his index finger lewdly while he shook the end of the scarf with his left hand until the beads tinkled again. “M’waitin’,” he breathed out and moaned around the finger. Such a slut!

I took one more sip, stripped too, and joined him on the bed, climbing right in between his thighs, admiring his cleanly shaven treasure. “You have a truly beautiful dick. It absolutely deserves some profane treatment.”

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it,” he responded, his voice shaking ever so slightly when I pressed my tongue flat to the underside of that gorgeous cock and licked a long stripe all the way up. I laughed. “So humble.”

“Darling, I’ve seen many cocks in my life. I know mine is awfully pretty.” 

“Hmm, how about you balls?” I cupped them gently, while crawling up to kiss him, tickling his chest with my hair.  

“Also exceptional.” He kissed me back, then pushed my head back down. 

“That’s why you keep them on full display all the time?” I bent down to lick around his areola before I sucked the nipple in between my lips, still refusing to go back down and suck on his cock instead, even though he bucked his hips up several times, giving me a clear hint how impatient he already was. 

“Flaunt…aaah…flaunt what you’ve got. God, you’re such a tease.”

His tone was dangerous this time. I looked up to meet his deadly, bratty stare. “You’re in no position to look at me like this.”

“Yes, I am. My thigh is completely wet from how your cunt already weeps for me.” He made another lewd gesture, putting his fingers in a V shape in front of his mouth and sticking his tongue through it at me, flickering it up and down. Yes, very suggestive. I’d love that. Continue and we’re both gonna get it. He usually got a warning first. 

“You’re a hoe, Joshua Michael.” I grabbed the scarf and pulled to the side. He inhaled sharply with a wheeze and looked daggers at me.

“Go on, I love high praises,” he spat. “Especially when they’re coming from your dirty mou…uuughn...” I didn’t let him finish the sentence. He would get what he asked for. Scrambling up as quickly as possible, I landed on my knees on each side of his head and sat on his face, effectively silencing him.  

And it was what he wanted. Grabbing my buttocks to pull me even closer, he instantly buried his tongue between my folds, making me gasp. I had to grab the headboard to keep myself from falling or hurting him as he enveloped my clit with his full lips and started sucking. This position was my Achilles heel and he got me there in no time. Two, maybe three minutes until my thighs started shaking. I looked down at him and he wiggled his eyebrows at me, before he closed his eyes and moaned loudly, as if he was eating the most delicious ice cream. Fucking tease. I inhaled sharply when he flattened his tongue and swirled it gently one more time around my swollen bud. The orgasm swept through me like an electric shock and I had to bite my forearm to muffle my scream. He was cruel, licking me through it and inducing more and more waves and aftershocks until I had to grab him by the hair and pull at it to still him. 

I creeped down his body, smearing my juices all over his skin and peppering his chest with kisses, before I straightened up again, hovering above him. “Tamed?” 

He looked up at me, ready to retort again, and finally saw the big silver hoop that hung from the ceiling right above my head. His eyes widened and sparkled with confused anticipation. “What’s that?”

I let out a satisfied exhale and smiled down at him. “That, my dear, is the surprise I got for you tonight.” I crawled towards the edge of my bed, opened the largest drawer of my bedside table and pulled out a silver chain with leather cuffs on each end. I let it fall on his chest. “Sit.” 

“What?”

“I said sit!” When he did, I pulled the chain through the hoop and told him to put his arms up. He was unnaturally silent all of the sudden, doing as told, and I fastened the cuffs around each wrist. When I was done, he just sat there, legs spread as I knelt between them, chest heaving and arms up, armpits glistening with sweat, just the way I wanted. He looked sinful. I admired this view so many times before, him reaching for those high notes or who knows what else. He would be reaching for pleasure tonight. First things first. I tugged at the scarf and pulled him closer to me, connecting our mouths in a searing kiss. He kept moaning as our tongues danced together. It made me even wetter. 

When I finally broke the kiss, I looked down at his cock, slightly reddened and rock hard, and ran my finger down his length. He squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered. “Do something…please!” 

Finally, the magic word. 

He cried out when I put him in my mouth and swallowed him whole. I could hear the chain rattling but I couldn’t see, lying on my stomach and fully immersed in giving him pleasure. He cried some more, and moaned and groaned and whimpered as I kept bobbing my head up and down, up…swirling my tongue around his leaking head, and down…tickling his balls with the stuck out tip until I gagged. I stopped only when his hips started jerking upwards, telling me he was very close. I wasn’t done yet, not until I felt him in me. 

I sat up again and saw the smeared mascara under his teary eyes. “Oh my baby, so beautiful,” I cooed and caressed his cheek, smearing it even more with my thumb. He looked exhausted and pursed his lips at me. “Please,” he whispered. 

I finally straddled him, positioned myself and slid down. His mouth opened wide but no sound came out. It made me pause for a second, raising my chin in a silent question. “Won’t last long,” he breathed out, so I started slowly, rolling my hips languidly, while I watched him watching me. The room fell silent, only our synchronized breathing permeating the air.

He looked down at the scarf, then back at me again, his eyes full of wicked gleam. I threw it over his shoulder and tugged at it from behind, making his head tilt. His ragged breathing and his barely noticeable, but content smile made me feel high. The intoxicating smell of his heated body made me even more lightheaded.  I hugged him tight and traced my parted lips up his jugular as I quickened my pace. His moans broke the silence again and I followed suit. Running my hands up and down his back, I could feel droplets of his sweat trickling down my biceps. I never believed in heaven, but this was close. Even closer to hell, maybe.

He wanted to take control, but couldn’t. Not without his arms supporting him. He was completely at my mercy and when I leaned back on my arms to get a better traction, the head of his cock hitting my inner pleasure button made me cry out. It didn’t take long and the spasms of my second release made me clench around him. In my high state of mind, I nearly missed his moment. Only his high-pitched scream pulled me back to reality. I had barely enough strength in me to untie him at last. And then we collapsed on the pillows, completely spent and happy. 

We often cuddled afterwards, we always showered together, but he never stayed. The sun was already rising when he left this time. I buried my face in my pillow to inhale his scent that always lingered. Falling asleep to the sweet and heady smell of Chergui was great comfort in twilight hours. Many times, I imagined what it would be like to just rest my head next to his and drift away like that, with his messy curls tickling the tip of my nose. Someone else had this privilege. Someone who loved him, and thus deserved it. 

In the middle of the night, I was sometimes honest with myself, admitting to myself that I loved him too. But that’s ok. Everybody’s got a secret.

@its-interesting-van-kleep @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @writingcold @ignite-my-fire @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @fleet-of-fiction @lvnterninthenight @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @thewritingbeforesunrise @wetkleenex-gvf @lyndz2names

[anthemofgvf]

Ceilings ~ Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction:

“lovely to just lay here with you. you’re kinda cute, and i would say all of this, but i don’t want to ruin the moment.”

description: to have your best friend be a world-wide sensation was one thing, but to secretly be in love with him was another. when josh is on a short break from tour and so happens to be back in town, you feel it is necessary to communicate your feelings before you don't get the chance.

trope: friends to lovers

warnings under cut...

warnings: fluff-lots of it, mentions of alcohol usage, swearing, angst, smut (18+ minors dni!!)

word count: 5.7k

a/n: my first fanfiction AND first Josh fic of many to come. I hope you all enjoy!

---

Ever since high school, you and Josh were attached at the hip. Not as much as him and his twin, but as close as you possibly could be. You would often help him with his films whenever he needed it, or just stood to the side to watch him direct. And, when he decided to form a band with his brothers and their best friend Danny, you would attend their small shows in Frankenmuth and often sit in as they recorded songs and whatnot.

After a while, they skyrocketed into a global phenomenon and their sophomore album was barely released as they took on the roads and traveled the world.

You would follow them on their earlier tours, but it eventually conflicted with your work schedule, and traveling outside of the U.S. was not on your itinerary. You'd often receive calls from the boys, mainly Josh, discussing the show afterwards and places they've seen as they explored the new destinations on their tour.

You always knew you had some sort of feelings for Josh, whether it was platonic or not, your heart fluttered at the sight of his infamous, toothy smile, or when he'd make a charismatic joke. No matter the circumstance, your eyes always fell on your best friend, and your thoughts would linger of ideas about you and him. Hell, even his name would pop up in your brain whenever your mind was blank.

Honestly, everything reminded you of him.

But there was no possible way you and him could ever be together exclusively. He never showed signs of wanting more than a friendship. Sure, he was always affectionate towards you in any way he could be, but that was just Josh. He was like that with everybody, stranger or not.

You missed him every day he was off on tour. Didn't matter if he called you that night, which he tried to message and call you as much as he could, your heart still ached for his presence. Simple calls shared between you two were not enough to fill the void that curated in your heart.

The worst kinds of things he would say?

"I miss you." "I'm ecstatic to see you." "We can do whatever you want as soon as I get back, I promise." "Only a few more days."

All of it was normal things Josh would say on your phone calls, but him reminding you that there were only a few days left until he was back in Frankenmuth made the week feel like an eternity.

But when the day struck that he was finally coming home, you couldn't contain your excitement. You flew out of your bed and quickly got ready, awaiting his arrival in your living room of your small apartment. Waiting for a knock, a phone call, anything.

Your leg tapped vigorously on the wooden floor and bit at your cuticles as you continuously checked the time, counting down the minutes until his apparent arrival. He told you the night prior that he'd bring you to his mom's house, as they were having a small gathering with family to celebrate their arrival and the short period of time they'd be home before back on the road.

Knock knock.

The taps on your door nearly gave you whiplash and had you jump out of your skin as you bounced off your couch and reminded yourself not to run to the door, but to walk steadily.

You opened the door and saw Josh standing in a white shirt and khaki shorts with messy curls resting on his head, sporting a bright smile on his face and open arms the second he saw you.

And you jumped into his arms and embraced him tightly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he held you close to his chest with a soft chuckle.

"Hi Josh." You mumbled into his shoulder.

No matter how long it had been, which it had been a few months since you've seen him, did you ever grow tired of his natural musk that made you swoon. Something about the way he held you close to his body made your heart jump out of your body and beat against his chest as a strong sign that you just wanted to be in his arms 'til the end of time.

"Hi y/n," He breathed back as he began to rub your back slowly.

"I've missed you, Josh. I've missed you so much."

"Missed you more," he pulled away from your body as he kept his hands on your back. "How's the old town holding up?"

"Same as always. Hasn't changed a bit." You giggled, releasing your arms from his neck as his hands fell to his sides.

He nodded with a hum, looking down the hall and meeting your gaze with a soft smile.

"Ready?"

-

You hopped into Josh's white jeep as he drove you to Karen's. You were practically family, often staying over at their house when you didn't feel like going home, or just hanging around whenever you could when you two were younger. Like previously stated, you and Josh were nearly attached at the hip.

You turned your head to Josh, who was focused on the road, tapping on his steering wheel with his index finger to the soft music that filled the quiet car.

"Have you missed home?" You asked.

"I always do. Was nice to see my mama." He flicked his eyes at you before re-focusing on the road.

"You've always been such a momma's boy." You smirked at him.

"And there's not a problem with that!" He exclaimed with a toothy grin. "But I still missed you. Not as much as my family, but y'know." He shrugged after telling his sarcastic joke.

"So, you're still an asshole?" You poked back at him.

"Some things never change, y/n." He pointed at you. "Assholery is in my blood."

"God," you laughed, "sometimes you're a little unbearable."

"Ouch!" He pretended to be offended, slapping his hand flat onto his chest with a soft chuckle after.

You pulled into the driveway of Josh's familiar childhood home and followed Josh into the house, where everyone had already gathered and had seemed to have been waiting on your arrival. They all had plates of food, laughing and chatting about something Jake had said pertaining the tour.

A feeling in your chest rose as you were brought back in time for a split second, remembering sitting at the very dining table that sat across the room, joining the Kiszkas almost every week for dinner and talking about school. The innocence of it all almost made you teary-eyed, reminiscing about your chats with Josh in the backyard and his dreams of traveling the world someday with his brothers and becoming a star.

It's funny how some dreams become a reality, and you sit on the sidelines and watch them bloom.

Karen quickly walked over to you and squeezed you, commenting on how it's been too long and that she's missed you. Then Jake with a small hug, then Sam, Danny, Veronica, and Jake's girlfriend Jita.

As the night went on, you eagerly listened to the boys discussing their favorite stories from tour, the plans for the next few weeks for shows, and more. Josh usually led the conversations - he always did, in fact. He was a talker, a huge one. Especially at home where he felt most comfortable. God, you could listen to him talk for hours. It could be utter nonsense and you'd still actively tune your attention to him always.

When the moon fully lit the sky, shimmering down on the freshly cut blades of green gas in the backyard, slowly people started to drift onto their own things. Danny saying his goodbyes first, then Sam and Jake ran off to wherever along with their sister and Jita, and you were somehow left in the living room with Josh.

"Feels great to be home." Josh spoke, looking at you.

"I bet. Those long nights away from home can be difficult sometimes." You responded to him.

They were hard for you, too. Every time he would say goodbye, it was harder to say it back. To slowly forget his voice until he would call you again or to lose understanding of what his touch felt like. You would have to constantly remind yourself of those small things and moments you didn't want to break free from your mind, even though it didn't matter what you thought. He only saw you as his friend, a purely platonic friendship, and you were sure he saw and met his fair share of perfect women on tour. Girls that were better than you. It was difficult to not think about what he was doing, who he was with while on tour. Thankfully, worked kept you occupied. But on the slow hours in your office job, your mind kept wandering to scenarios of him and some girl.

"Y/n?" Josh placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Hm? Yeah?" You frantically met his gaze.

"You were spaced out for a moment there," he smiled, "everything alright?"

No, everything wasn't alright. You were only going to be spending a few days with him before he was gone for another month or so, and who knows for how long would he stay after that?

But, why burden him with your silly thoughts? "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...thinking."

"Care to tell?" He removed his back from the couch, folding his hands together as he leaned forward to find your wandering eyes.

"It's...it's just-I don't know." You shook your head with a shrug, turning your direction away from him as he watched you tentatively.

"Come on." He pushed himself off the couch with a groan, holding his hand out for you to grab. With a small smile, and flushed cheeks, your hand melted into his and he dragged you up to his childhood bedroom and out through the window, and onto the roof.

Back in high school, you and Josh would often sit on his roof and breathe in the fresh air as the stars twinkled upon you and him. You and him would just spill your guts up there. Sometimes you two shared drinks, maybe a joint, but the main point was that it was the only spot that somehow seemed to get something off yours or his chest.

It became your favorite spot in the entire house. It was the only place that you had truly become vulnerable with Josh and see his true emotions. He was never uncomfortable with his feelings, but he made it seem like you were the only person, other than his twin, that knew the darkest secrets he held in his sacred mind.

He sat only a few inches from you, resting on his forearms as he admired the stars dance in the luminous night sky. He had a relaxed demeanor as always, but you, you had your legs pressed to your chest with your arms around them securely, trying to focus on something else than the thought of admitting how you felt towards Josh.

"Y'know, I remember when we were up here once, had a few too many drinks and such. You were talking about something that I can't seem to remember, but whatever it was, it made you vomit all over this roof." He started to laugh as his eyes hit you.

"Was probably talking about how sick I felt after playing one too many games of beer pong against you." You rolled your eyes in a playful manner.

"You always lost." He continued his light laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, who will be laughing when they get pushed off this roof?" You cocked your head at him with a teasing expression.

"Hey, I was just stating the facts." He shrugged with a sly smirk as you pushed his shoulder.

You looked back up to the sky, reminiscing on the faint memory and trying to clear your mind of that aching, pressuring feeling to say something more sentimental than usual, to tell Josh how much you really missed him, hell, to show him how much you missed him.

Knowing you for so long, Josh picked up on the little things. He knew when you were truly content, when something was on your mind; all of it. And he noticed that your chipper demeanor was off, and how your eyes lightly flickered back and forth to show you were thinking of something. How you would go longer than usual without blinking because your mind was in a trance.

"Alright, it's bugging the hell outta me. What's up?" Josh sat up as he spoke with a lowered voice, close to a whisper.

"Nothing, I'm fine, Josh. Just...taking in the night, that's all." You lied as you gave him a fake reassuring smile and nod before turning your direction back to the sky.

"I know there's something on your mind, y/n. You're not good at hiding it."

You swallowed, fluttering your eyes shut as you deeply inhaled the warm summer air to contain any sensitive emotions from rising.

Josh scooted closer to you, leaning his head forward to find your eyes as you rested your cheek on your knees.

"It's nothing, really." You flicked your eyes to him and held contact with his brown eyes that shimmered under the ethereal moonlight. "It's...just stupid." You mumbled.

"I'm sure whatever it is, it isn't stupid. I'm not one to pry, but it's bothering me knowing something is off." His lips downturned. "Although you don't have to tell me exactly what you're thinking about, you could try to at least share the basis of whatever it is for me."

You lightly chuckled, finding it in you to softly smile at the perfect sight in front of you, rather than to cry. Anything to stop your eyes from welling with tears and curate a knot that bubbled in your throat.

"Well, I don't know. I guess I've just missed this a lot, y'know?" You grazed your lips with your tongue.

"The roof?" Josh joked.

"Yeah, the fucking roof." You rolled your eyes. "No, I've missed...well, I've missed you, a lot. Don't get to see you often anymore." You shrugged.

Josh pulled you into his side, wrapping his arms around you as he circled your back with his cool fingers. His eyes rested on your head as he waited for you to speak, to continue. To wait for you to look up at him once more.

"I can assure you that I've missed you a lot more. It's not the same on tour without you. I'm not the only one who thinks that way, frankly. Sometimes Jake and I will have small conversations of things that we see that we think you'd like or remind us of you. I'm always thinking about you on the road, y/n." He motioned with his hand outwards, then placing it beside him.

You turned your head upwards as you grew the courage to meet his eyes, and you saw through the moonlight his soft, affectionate smile that made your heart sink into your stomach.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." You released a breathy laugh.

"Why would I lie to you?" He furrowed his brows. "Why do you think I call and text you every day? Don't do it just because I think you'll be upset if I choose not to. I do it because I want to."

All you could do was lose yourself in Josh's eyes with your mouth slightly parted. What could you say to not ruin the moment? Or should you just come clean? Your head began to pound with different responses and words, both your heart and head fighting for a say in your next words, your next move.

"You mean it?" Was all you could say. You still couldn't push away the feeling that this all was too good to be true.

Sure, you've been in Josh's arms before, but not like this. Not where you two seemed to be sharing the same intimate air and expressing the same intimate feelings. Something just felt different about this interaction between you and your best friend. It was like for a moment you forgot he was just your friend, and nothing more.

"Of course. Sometimes I think about just asking you to join us on tour despite you saying you can't because of work." He continued to rub your back.

"Yeah, work always gets in the way. It's a normal person struggle."

Josh chuckled at your comment, lifting his chin as he shined a toothy smile.

"I'm sure you could somehow find a way to take a few weeks off."

"A few weeks?" You scoffed. "Not that easy, Josh."

"Unfortunate, real unfortunate." He shook his head. "Still should think about it, though."

You rolled your eyes in a playful manner, flashing a soft smile.

You took a few moments to regain your thoughts, take a few breaths before speaking. You knew coming onto this roof where you two would always sit would bring everything out of you. And Josh knew it, too. It was like a secret key to unlocking your mind.

"You know I would in a heartbeat, Josh. Not a day goes by that I'm not thinking about you." You swallowed.

Of course, you missed him, but the sincerity in your words let Josh relax his face into a warm grin and had seemed to relieve any tension in his body, if any.

"You...you think about me every day?" He needed reassurance, too. For holding such an easy-going, nerve free exterior, his heart began to race, and his ears began to burn with fire. His eyes lit up with excitement, he waited impatiently for a response.

Your two organs came to an agreement to let you release your internal thoughts into a word vomit. "Of course, I do, Josh. Always count down the days until you come back home and wait impatiently for you to call me. Even when you're here I'm still thinking about you, which is stupid because you're a few minutes away and I can just stop by, but I don't want to be a burden to you. But when you leave again, God, it's hard. I cry myself to sleep because I know it'll be a century until I see you again and we can hang out like old times. Stare at my fucking ceiling on those days of sleepless nights just feeling so...so empty because you're gone. Doesn't matter if it's for a few days or a few months. It's all the same to me."

Your eyes widened as you seemed to regain conscious of your surroundings and could feel your heart banging against your chest as a cry for help and ringing in your ears, for you to just shut up. But you were too late. Your eyes began to burn while your vision became blurry, blinking away the tears to make out Josh's facial expression.

But all he could do was just look at you, stunned. Shocked. Surprised that you felt this way because he always knew what you were feeling and what you were thinking. But this, this was something you were able to keep away from him for such a long time. And now that it was finally in the air and slammed into his chest, all he could do was look at you in mere astonishment.

He lifted his hand to your cheek to wipe away your fallen tears with his thumb and lifted your chin. He held your eyes with his own, before glancing at your lips and fluttering his eyes shut to place a soft, tender peck on your shaky lips.

The quick loss of his lips on yours ignited something in you, something you've never felt before. You grew hungry, starved as if he was essential to your survival.

You placed your hand on his cheek as you brought him back onto your lips, sharply inhaling as you two shared a passionate kiss under the stars. From a bird's eye view, this scene was cinematic. It was too good to be real. You seemed to have blacked out, but no, it was all reality.

His lips colliding with yours, you savored every sense, every feeling that circulated in your entire being as you desperately tried to deepen the kiss. His mouth fit onto yours like it was a missing puzzle piece that you’ve been trying to find for years. And now that he was finally showing you his reciprocation of your feelings, your heart gave in to all those thoughts that had only seemed to be a silly reoccurring dream.

Your hand crawled into his curls as you held him against your lips, and he held you as close as he could comfortably. Your senses had seemed to have heightened, as you could taste the peppermint that rested on his tongue, his natural scent. The air that blew sweet nothings throughout the sky and into your clothes. How hot your body grew as the kiss deepened. How your heartrate seemed to have relaxed to a soft melodic beat that matched Josh's. How right it felt to be kissing your best friend. How the void in your heart seemed to have been completely rid of, and you felt complete.

Josh unlocked his lips from yours, planting his forehead onto yours as you two shared inconsistent breathing patterns. You found one of your hands under his shirt, and slowly dragged it down to his thigh as you shut your eyes to breathe in his air.

"Josh." Was all you could mutter through your breaths.

“How long have you felt this way?” He whispered with half-hooded eyes.

“Since I’ve met you. I always have felt this way.” You met his eyes to the best of your ability, looking at him with a softened gaze that only proved your words truthful and sincere.

He placed a soft kiss on your head, as if to tell you without words that he understood and thought the exact same way as you, running his hand through your hair delicately before he stood up and lend his hand to you to pull you up, and lead you back into his room.

Jake wasn't there, and hopefully wouldn't come back, because the lust in Josh's eyes became more apparent than before, and you two could barely keep each other from melting into each other's bodies and losing your hands in each other's soft, heated skin.

You found yourself flat on your back on Josh's bed, parting your mouth with his and following a steady pattern that only made you ache for more.

You tugged your shirt over your head and broke the kiss only for a moment, before clashing your mouth onto his again. His hand walked alongst the side of your torso, gripping onto your hip to make sure you'd never move from below him, even though you had no intention to do so.

You kept your lips on his, opening your mouth for an invitation for his tongue, which he took, as you unclasped your bra in a swift motion. As if you've been prepared for this moment for ages. He allowed himself to leave your mouth for a few moments to remove his own shirt, letting you run your hands down his bare chest.

His hand traveled between your nearly connected bodies as he found your covered cunt, dragging his fingers up and down at an agonizingly leisured pace to feel your wetness grow more and more apparent under your jeans.

He didn't waste his time letting his mouth wander your body, pressing wet kisses onto your jawline, and to your neck. He softly sucked on the skin that rested under your nearly unhinged jaw, making you arch your back into him and release soft moans of pleasure. The taste of your sweet skin only made his shorts grow tighter and long for friction that only you could seem to solve.

He made his way to your breasts, suckling on your hardened nipple, which caused you to gasp from the release of tension that built ever since he laid his lips onto yours. His achingly slow pace only made you grow more heated.

His other hand worked at your other breast, making sure not to neglect it as he continued to swirl his tongue pleasurably around your nipple. He pressed soft kisses in the cave of your breasts, then down your torso as he made his way down to the waistband of your jeans.

His eyes met yours, as if he needed an "okay" to continue. You gave him a small smile, lifting your hips to aid him in removing your clothing all at once.

He made himself comfortable between your legs, admiring the perfect sight in front of him. You had spread your legs open for him already as your hips urged for him to touch you, to make any sort of movement towards your heat.

He pressed deep, open-mouthed kisses against the skin of your inner thighs, sucking softly and leaving your body completely in tune with his touch. Josh would drag his lips close enough to your wet cunt to tease you, leading you to believe he would move his mouth just a little more to finally dig into your wet pussy, only for him to drag his lips back up your thighs in retaliation to hear you grow more upset and needy for his mouth on your cunt.

He held your gaze as he dragged his finger up your slick slit, watching your mouth agape and release a soft moan.

"Please, please, Josh." You begged. Your quiet, whiny pleas had him wrapped around your finger, as his lips rested in a coy smile from your words that he longed to hear forever.

He hooked his hands onto your thighs and pressed a soft kiss onto your clit, then flattening his tongue to lap up your sweet nectar that tasted as close as it could to honey. He seemed ravenous, despite wanting to take his time with you. The moment the taste of you hit his tongue, he couldn't stop himself.

One hand found its way into his hair, another playing with your nipple as he continued to suck at your clit, flicking his eyes up at you as he teased your entrance with the tip of his index finger. He slowly inserted his middle finger into you, watching as your back arched whilst he curled it. His mouth worked wonders on you as he began to work his finger deliciously inside of your gummy walls.

“Shit, Josh.” You moaned out dragged syllables. Saying his name was a constant reminder that it was him who was laying between your legs and creating the tight knot in your stomach.

You tried to keep your moans to a low, but it was hard when this was the most pleasure you've ever felt. A sense of euphoric satisfaction as he entered another finger into your hole, building up your high quicker than you expected.

You tugged at your bottom lip as you watched him devour you. He was lost in the taste of you, sending his mind into an alternate state where only you mattered, and time ceased to exist. He hummed in approval and the vibrations had you bucking your hips into his mouth impulsively.

His movements slowed, making you whine from the loss of friction as he arose from the bed and slipped out of his shorts and his boxers. Your eyes watched as his cock sprung out, leaking with precum and throbbing with need.

He turned away from you for a moment and searched his drawers for a condom, finally saying "aha!" to himself and pulling one out.

You lightly giggled as he slipped it on, tugging at your bottom lip.

"What's so funny?" He smirked at you, one corner of his mouth raised to only partially reveal his teeth.

"Just funny how you had some in your drawer, that's all."

"Always gotta be prepared." He said, crawling on top of you and cradling your face into another kiss.

Your hand reached for his cock, pumping him to the best of your ability through the rubber. He shuttered, softly groaning into your ear as he placed more kisses onto your cheek.

His hand landed onto yours, lining himself up with you and taking another glance at you to make sure you were okay.

As your breathing was intensified, you gave him a small smile with a nod, and he slowly inserted himself into you. His head rolled back, and his eyes shut, he grasped onto your legs to wrap them around his waist, placing his hands on the sides of your head as he started a slow pace in and out of you with deep groans.

He stretched you out perfectly. Your nails digging into his back, you moaned his name loudly as he fully bottomed out into you, dragging himself in and out of you slowly.

"You're going to have to be quiet, mama. Can't have anybody hearing us." He breathed, placing a kiss on the side of your cheek.

All you could do was nod, bringing a hand to his head to grasp onto his curls. And that made him roll his eyes into the back of his head and grow a faster pace.

He thrusted into you at a steady, quick speed, making sounds of skin slapping against each other more apparent in the air. But you didn't care. Hell, you felt like you could barely hear because you were so focused on Josh hitting your sweet spot every time he entered back into you.

"Fuck, y/n." He hummed into your ear. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.”

“Yeah?” You whined back.

“God, yeah. Always have, mama. You feel so fucking perfect.” He groaned lowly, his voice shaky with sensational pleasure.

This new reality was something you always thought was out of reach. Something that only happens when you rest your head on your pillow and dream of. But hearing him say your name, telling you how amazing you are, how lovely you feel, made your senses heighten and permanently imprint into your brain that he was holding you close to his sweaty body, pumping in and out of you at a perfect pace and calling your name as a reminder that only you mattered in this moment. Only you were to ever make him feel this way.

The bed squeaked slightly as he rocked in and out of you, matching your hums and moans of approval with his own. All you could say were slurs of swears and his own name, that seemed so foreign to him and had his mind delirious over the thought of being in this exact position every chance he got.

His hand snaked between your bodies and found your clit, rubbing vigorously at the bud to send you to your release.

You bit the back of your hand as your body was at an all-time high, barely sitting at the tipping point.

"I'm so close, Josh, please." You squeaked behind your hand.

"Go ahead, cum for me, mama. Cum for me." He pleaded, his thrusts growing lazy as he was near his own orgasm.

Through hooded eyes, you watched as his face relaxed and tightened, thrusting into you deeply and harshly. All you could spit out was his name, pleas of “don’t stop” and “just like that”.

Your eyes squeezed shut, white flashing behind your eyes, your back arched as your orgasm rode throughout your veins and entire being. Your legs started to shake around him, your pussy squeezing him tighter than before around his hard cock. His hand abandoned your clit and rested onto the side of your torso as his knuckles turned white while he gripped onto the bedsheets to keep himself steady.

"Shit, Josh." You whimpered as his pace became unsteady, and he chased his own release.

"So close, fuck. Gonna cum." He croaked, digging his head into your shoulder as you scratched at his back and scalp.

The pleasurable pain ran throughout your body. It seemed that the only sense you had left in you was your hearing. You noticed his deep, throaty groans turned into bubbly whimpers as he chased his high, begging himself to finish and to finally feel the satisfactory ending he’s craved for so long.

He lazily brought a hand to your face, cupping it and forcing you to look at him as he lifted his face from your shoulder.

“Look at me, my good girl. Look at me, mama.” He swallowed, his lips fallen open as he breathed heavily.

And you did, snapping yourself out of your previously limp state to watch as he grew so close to releasing his hot ropes of cum. You found it in you to grip onto his hair, tugging and pulling in ways that you knew he adored. And God, he looked perfect under the moonlight, fully bare and vulnerable.

His hips faltered, he pumped into you with shaky legs, burying his head into your shoulder as he called your name with his own release. He thrusted into you once more to desperately try and drain himself fully, his breathing shaky.

And for a moment, he stayed inside of you, trying to catch his breath before making another move other than to kiss you and tell you how good it was in between breaths. He didn’t want to leave your body just yet. He wanted to savor this moment between you two, where you and him were finally connected as one.

He pushed himself up and pulled out of you, standing up as he rid the condom and coming back to you to hold your body close to his.

"Perfect, just perfect." He mumbled, placing a soft kiss on your head as you relaxed your body on top of his.

Your heaving chests collided, you rested your head on the beads of sweat that laid upon his toned chest.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean it? When you said you've always wanted this?" You lifted your head to look at him and saw his tired expression.

"Yeah, of course I did. Ever since I met you, actually. Always had something for ya. Thought it was pretty obvious." He shrugged with a smug grin.

"Not at all!" You giggled, placing your hand on top of his slick chest.

He smiled at you and helped you under the covers as you melted into each other's bare bodies once more, connecting with each other as a reminder that this was all a reality, and he was finally yours after years of seemingly hopeless dreams.

[samkiszkasfacialhair]

Choose the Road (Masterlist)

Between seas, galaxies, and moons.

I truly was lucky.

I stepped on the same land,

and dreamed under the same stars,

as you.

Pairing: Sam Kiszka and Female Reader

Summary: A coming of age story about Sam Kiszka’s first love.

Warnings: Warnings will be posted with each chapter.

Word Count: (Entire fic) 39k

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:

Chapter 3:

Chapter 4:

Chapter 5:

Chapter 6: