#Josh Kiszka fanfic

[katuschka]

OK, once more, with special thanks to @writingcold, @edgingthedarkness and @josh-iamyour-mama ! Mwah! 😘 Thank you so much and I will do my best to give you all the answers as soon as possible. We're really getting there...

Olalla Chapter Nine

Josh Kiszka x f!OC x Jake Kiszka 5.569 words

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): phone sex, masturbation, LGBT themes, mentions of infidelity, anxiety, betrayal&trust issues, secrets, overall a healthy dose of emotional shit as always

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Previous chapter Olalla masterpost

Over the mountains, woods and valleys two guys fought with shepherd's axes. Hey guys! Stop fighting! The girl has two braids; you can share!

November 2025; Josh 

He stood silent, but the contents of his mind were full of roaring memories of moments similar to this one. He could hear his younger and more carefree self shouting, almost as if someone played it in his in-ear. Can you feel iiiiiiit?

Exhilaration, stage fright, happiness, fear, anticipation…

All the emotions crammed into that fleeting, magical moment that lasts just a few seconds before everything bursts. The moment which ALL the souls and hearts in the large arena shared as one. He couldn’t see them yet, but their cries reverberated through the walls on their way from the green room to the stage and the volume reached the deafening level as soon as the band’s silhouettes appeared behind the semi opaque curtain.

There was no speech this time, no pre-recorded intro; just the sound of Sam’s Hammond organ that first started as a feeble hum, barely audible in the roaring mix of cries, clapping hands and stomping feet. Back to basics, while sticking to the most essential refinements. 

The tones grew louder then, and Josh could feel them set the stage beneath his feet vibrating, which only added to his agitation. So glad to be back, and yet so anxious. 

So much had changed in just one year, so many things that altered their course. The ‘Spring/Summer festival tour’ literally changed his life. He had loved, he had lost, he was now taking a path to the unknown, and it all left people wondering. His sudden disappearance and a subsequent injury started brand new rumors, and all the attempts to stop them from spreading felt like fighting Hydra. Eventually, they just stopped trying and focused on work, but now it made his guts clench again. Did they still love him? Would they still accept him, standing in front of them so vulnerable and naked? He knew some of them condemned him for what he had done, a few believed the lies about him, but thousands of them still came back. 

He looked at Jake for reassurance, but found him crouched under his own heavy thoughts, while his hands followed Sam’s direction, adding more ringing notes to the whole cacophony of the tamed melody and tumultuous feelings. 

Josh was on his own in this. He too looked down and smoothed a wrinkle on his new ebony satin wrap jacket. It hugged him around the waist and fell in smooth cascades around his hips. It was a perfect piece of garment, elegant when tied up, and frivolous-looking when he let it open. Unsure about it at first, he had gained some meat back during the last month, so he could now finally acknowledge that it really looked good on him. He put his chin up, both metaphorically and literally, and ran his fingers across the edges of the new dark brass laurel wreath that now decorated his head. It was a last minute addition, designed to hide the scar that was still visible under his patchy haircut. A deep breath in, and…

The curtain dropped. 

... and the room exploded. He looked down and realized they had been just as nervous, and finally they could just let it all out. Raising his arms up in a simple gesture, he urged them to do it, and then welcomed him in return. 

It was a wonderful song to open the show with. Just like with Heat Above, the initial tension grew until it was almost unbearable, only to be replaced by smooth harmonies and a soaring melody. However, they also experimented a bit more with this one, changing the tempo as well as the mood right where the chorus was supposed to be, hitting the listener right in the chest with its aggressive force. It was a perfect hymn for disturbing times, and the lyrics were Josh’s new prayer. 

When it was over, Josh closed his eyes, panting, and tried to get ready for the next song. The initial high subsided and he was now painfully aware of his surroundings. The new setlist had been one of the main topics of the recent late night quarrels. Sam and Daniel wanted to continue with Safari, while Jake opposed the idea without being able to explain why. He got outvoted eventually and now it was his turn to play the initial chords. 

Everything went smoothly until the first chorus. Josh turned slightly to the left, just like he had been used to doing, only to see Jake still standing at his side of the stage. He took one step forward, but Jake kept ignoring him. The audience noticed too, and he could see their frowned and confused faces as he continued to sing “why don’t you give some lovin’” and by that time it was painfully obvious that Jake wasn’t coming. One of the most notorious examples of their twin bond, one that started years ago as a telepathic need, was gone. Jake no longer wanted to sing that song together with him. 

Thousands of miles away, still tucked in her warm bed, Agnieszka was watching the livestream. 

Agnieszka 

After she had followed all the accounts that promised to do the streaming, Agnieszka had set her alarm clock to 3:30 to make sure she wouldn’t miss a single minute of it. With her headphones on, a cup of strong coffee at hand and a wildly beating heart inside her chest, she joined thousands of the people in the arena and hundreds of others online as a silent voyeur.  

While reading all those excited comments, she had no intention to join the live chat. She had even gone as far as to create new burner accounts everywhere, just to be able to keep tracks without being seen. She had already learned the power of gossip with the two of them still here, and things only got worse after they left, all because of one smudgy photo made by some fan from Warsaw.

It happened early on during their stay. The two of them were just helping Agnieszka with some groceries when a girl approached them and they reluctantly agreed to take a photo with her, well aware that things could get much worse if they refused. Much to everyone’s relief, nothing really happened afterwards, even though the picture circulated through the online space for a few days. It was just a photo of the guys “on vacation”, location unspecified, with both of them hiding under their hats and behind their sunglasses. They were probably just taking some time off after the recent media shitstorm, people concluded. Joshua needed to get out, and Jake was there to keep him company. 

It was only after the fans started discussing possible reasons for and creating their own theories about Josh's mysterious injury and why the tour got postponed when the girl posted another photo on Reddit that ultimately caused a huge uproar. The picture showed the three of them leaving the supermarket, location specified, with her confirming that the dark-haired woman who seemed local was indeed there with them. And since it was a clear violation of the guys’ privacy, the girl got roasted for it immediately and deleted it shortly afterwards. But the harm was already done, the photo quickly appeared on other platforms and fueled people’s imagination.  

Things got a bit out of hand in early October. At one point, she even martyrously tried to convince Joshua not to come back and just forget about their little affair, but he was adamant, unwilling to let anyone ruin his life any further. 

And now Jake only made things worse. The fourth song just started, and the people in the chat were still discussing his strange behaviour. To say that it made Agnieszka feel uncomfortable would be an understatement. Of course she knew they were supposed to sing those lines together, as she had spent the last two months watching every video that there was. Official material, fan footage and old interviews became her everyday bedtime stories. She even fell asleep while listening to Joshua’s guided meditation a few times. 

It always made her feel like an Alice in Wonderland, unable to comprehend how she came to know these talented and flamboyant people. She had dined with them, got drunk with them, kissed them and developed an intimate relationship with one of them. 

Was there really any relationship at all? As those strangers kept wondering, they were asking questions to which she had no answers. No, she wasn’t lurking backstage; no, she didn’t know how he labeled himself, because she never cared to ask; and no, she had no idea what was going on between him and Jake.  

Pcheh. Their ‘intimate’ relationship…

What was it, if not a folly?

Everytime she found a new gray hair – which seemed much more frequent after what happened up on Koscielec – Agnieszka would ask herself what am I doing? And then she would continue doing that. There were plenty of other men willing to be with her if she only let them, and she had the freedom to do it if or when the opportunity presented itself, but she just couldn’t. She kept waiting for the phone calls and Google Meet rendezvous. 

One such face call was scheduled right for after the show. Agnieszka had to wait for Joshua to get back to the hotel, which would take a while, so she just lay back on the pillow and enjoyed the moment of peace, as well as the warmth of her soft comforter. The house was now half empty and eerily quiet during early hours. No one wanted an early breakfast at this time of year; the few adventurous hikers and alpinists who dared to conquer the icy trails mostly kept to themselves. A calm before the Christmas storm, one would say. 

Even the sounds of the waking town coming from the outside were strangely muffled by the falling snow. Minutes dragged, and boredom and restlessness started to set. Agnieszka tried to kill the time by watching other newly posted videos from the show that just ended. 

Eventually, she dozed off waiting… 

She was walking along the ridge that separated the northeastern valleys from the southwestern ones. It was a dangerous path between two seemingly different worlds, covered with frost and ice, forcing her to consider every step carefully. To her left, everything was sprinkled with white and with mist lurking at stony rims. To her right, where the hillside was blessed with more sunshine, the autumn still kept flaunting its fiery colours. The setting sun behind her back illuminated the landscape and enhanced the visible split of seasons. 

Agnieszka couldn’t tell how she got up there. Just a moment ago, she was safe in the warm bed, awaiting a new day, from which she now couldn’t remember anything. The only thing was certain – the winter was coming and once again, another sun-like light appeared on the eastern horizon, disrupting the age-old alternation of day and night and sending chills down her spine. 

She heard three voices calling her name simultaneously. 

Together, it created an unearthly sound… then suddenly, their voices turned to deafening ringtones…

Olalla

Veela

Neszka

Agnieszka needed to take a few seconds to find out where she was and what happened. With the sleepy haze still clouding her brain, she looked around to see that the sky outside turned to steely blue, making outlines of furniture in her bedroom already visible. The phone, which she still held in her hand, kept on buzzing.

Still feeling weird from the recurring and yet ever changing dream, she pressed the accept button, squinting at the oppressively bright screen. Sexy…

Joshua, on the other hand, was his usual flawless and charming self: freshly-showered, rosy-cheeked and with his short damp curls slicked back. “Oh, hello darl… did I wake you up? I thought you said you were going to…”

“Oh yeah, yeah, I was. I just fell back to sleep after the livestream ended, I guess. But I saw everything,” she responded groggily while rubbing her left eye, before she adjusted the pillow behind her so that she could sit. 

“Oh, cool. It was a hell of a show, wasn’t it.” He greeted her with his usual bright, toothy smile, but Joshua’s face was an open book and Agnieszka already knew that face she caught a glimpse of behind the smiley mask quite well – when she could read a lot of conflicting things in his eyes, all of them centering around uncertainty and self-doubt. A simple twitch of an eyebrow always gave him away. She knew how nervous he was; he had confided to her prior to the show.. It was the first US show since he got outed and his personal life became a tabloid shitshow. And while the band was indeed greeted with rapturous ovations and they did put on a ‘hell of a show’, the undercurrent of doubt on both sides ran deep and the fact that his own brother seemingly threw him under the bus right when he felt the most vulnerable didn’t help at all. 

False consolations were not her nature. “Joshua… when I said I saw everything, I really meant everything.”

He sighed and started rubbing the back of his neck. “Was it that obvious?”

“What? That something is obviously going on between the two of you? Yeah, I would say so. At least to everyone who’s familiar with your stage behaviour. It shouldn’t be a big deal, I suppose, but I saw your face, and so did everyone else. It was pretty clear you didn’t expect that. The people in the chat spent the next half an hour making assumptions. Some of them even mentioned the ‘dark haired stranger’ that allegedly drove a wedge between the two of you.” She added the last sentence for comedic effect; to lighten the mood a bit. However, it had the opposite effect and Joshua’s face turned to stone. 

“Well, you shouldn’t really worry about that.” He sounded strangled, and for the first time turned his gaze off the screen. 

“Are you ok, Joshua?” 

“Yeah! Yeah…totally fine,” he replied absentmindedly. “We’ve had a few disagreements, but it’s nothing serious. Promise. I, eh… I wish you were here, sweetheart… So, anyway, what did you think of that lill’ insertion after Danny’s drum solo, birthday girl?” he chuckled, trying to change the subject. 

“You mean ‘My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean’? Yeah, that was very subtle. Everyone thought so…” She didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in her voice, unable to comprehend how he could think that it was a good idea. Obviously, he didn’t share the sentiment. 

“Well, I did that on purpose. And since people already talk… Well, I just hoped you’d like it. So, how was your special day?” 

“Pretty uneventful, just like all the other days here.” As it always was. She stopped celebrating her birthdays a long time ago. Joshua was probably the only person on Earth who tried to make a big deal of the uninteresting fact that she was now thirty three. Well, him and Maya. “I went for a walk, I got a new backpack, I actually had a massage…that was nice and pleasant… and I got my IUD replaced… that was much less pleasant.”

“Well good to know!” He made another funny face and she had to laugh back. Most of her former lovers would be grossed out by the bold remark, but not him. He was just… different. 

For example, he couldn’t just sit still, which was in fact often pretty cool and entertaining during their face call as he always inadvertently gave her a tour of whatever place he was currently at. So, as he walked around, she could see glimpses of his suite. “Wow, that’s a fancy hotel room. Very different from the dingy attic one.” 

“And cold,” Joshua replied irritably. “It’s really the worst part of the deal, to be honest, and no amount of luxury could possibly change that. I’d give anything to be back in that snug attic room if it meant I could feel your soft skin again.” 

“Soft…”

“Yeah, like satin. Go on and touch it if you don’t believe me.” With that, he finally hopped on his bed and leaned his back against the headboard. He must have untied his bathrobe in the process, as she could see his bare chest now, knowing too well where this was going. They had tried a few times in the past and always ended up giggling. Yet he kept on trying. “Are you naked?”

“Hell no! It’s November. I’m wearing button-up pajamas.”

“Unbutton it then.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. His incessant attempts to coax her into having phone sex with him were always so… cute. “I think I’ll need a bit more convincing.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled harshly. Agnieszka couldn’t see his other hand, but she knew very well where it was. “I’m imagining your palms right now, so callous and coarse from all the hard and honest work, like the finest sandpaper…”

She was just getting comfy and he made her burst out laughing again. “You’re an idiot.” 

He chuckled with her. “All right, all right, let’s try again. I was serious about your skin. So soft and warm, and when my fingers travel further down… come on, travel with me… it feels like a velvety cushion, and it smells like honey and hay. Can you feel it too, baby?”

“Yes,” she moaned involuntarily. Hearing him talk about it like that really did create a good illusion. “I imagine your fingers. Say more, because I swear I can almost feel them”. 

He was breathing heavily now, which turned her on even more. He told her more about the things he’d do and she followed his directions, sliding her middle finger inside. “I wish I could touch your cock.”

“And I’d give anything to feel your lips around it right now…”

She bit her lip when the question popped up in her head. It wasn’t the first time, but she never mustered enough courage, until now. Still not sure if it was ok to ask that, she took a deep breath first. “Do you ever imagine a man doing it to you, Joshua? I mean, do you still…?”

He seemed unfazed, just a little annoyed. “Why are you asking me now?”

“I think it’s sexy,” she cooed. “Besides, if this is supposed to work, we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other.” Saying that, she felt a pang of guilt even before she finished the sentence. 

“Sexy, you say?” he asked huskily and she could hear the unmistakable sound of slapping flesh. Judging by the movement of his shoulder, it was more than apparent what he was doing. It made her heart beat wildly. If only she could be there with him…

“Yeah… you were always in control when we were together, hardly ever letting me take the lead, even when I wanted to. And I just wondered…because…” The sound of him clearing his throat interrupted her in mid-sentence. 

“It just felt natural. You’re so delicate, like baby deer…”

“No, I’m not…”

“Yes, you are, baby. Compared to most of my previous lovers, you are… You’re strong, but still a flower… I just…just can’t stop looking at you… So, erhhm, to answer your question -  yes, I do.” 

This was all strangely exciting. 

“Tell me more.” 

“Are you still touching yourself?”

She was. Because she didn’t lie. It made her slightly anxious, but the fact that the idea also turned her on couldn’t be denied. Also, learning to know his desires seemed like the best policy against the anxiety which was almost crippling at times, and today was no different.  Seeing him wrapped in satin, adored by hundreds of people, and not all of them women, made her feel like an onlooker, forced to remain in the distance. She didn’t want that.

And so he told her, with reluctance at first, but seeing that she didn’t stop and wanted more, he went on. Slowly, they guided each other towards their respective climaxes. Even though separated by thousands of miles, for a split second they felt closer to each other than before in the aftermath. 

“What time is it there right now?” he asked groggily after a while, when she could no longer hide her weariness and yawned expressively. 

“Almost eight thirty.”

“Can you perhaps go back to sleep for a while.”

“I guess so.” She had no real responsibilities until after lunch, so the idea of staying in bed for a while seemed quite agreeable. 

“I think you should, then. And I should try to get some sleep as well. See you soon, love.”

“Good night, Joshua.”

Agnieszka tried to follow his advice, but after a while, she grabbed her phone again, quite sure that a certain person wasn’t asleep just yet…

Jake

Jake in fact did try to go to bed early-ish this time. He also tried everything that was supposed to help him accomplish this special mission. He had a few drinks, a soothing shower, late night sex… and if that wasn’t enough, skin-to-skin cuddles were expected to do the trick. 

However, half an hour later, his mind was still racing, and it had nothing to do with the person now sleeping so peacefully right next to him. The person who – in fact – was also the one who had tried to persuade him that he should improve his sleeping habits. Women. So, instead of grabbing a guitar or a book, he was now lying in the darkness, watching city lights painting pictograms on the ceiling above him. He didn’t dare leave the bed, afraid that it would wake Lisa.  

Suddenly, his phone lightened up with a familiar notification. He kept most of them muted, so he knew immediately. And surely enough…

Veela: Care to explain what the hell happened?

Jake knew immediately what she meant, and it made him feel both pleased and angry with himself at the same time. What the hell happened, indeed. It wasn’t deliberate. It wasn’t out of spite. He just didn’t want to play the song. And he certainly didn’t want to sing it… with Josh, no less! For years, it had been ‘their’ song, and it didn’t mean anything else. They wrote it before Josh really started caring about the meaning of the lyrics he was writing. The stupid ditty suddenly got a brand new meaning and Jake just couldn’t stomach it. 

He certainly didn’t want to make people wonder, or to make her angry… or maybe he did? Either way, there was no way out. 

He quickly scrambled out of bed – afraid that he would wake Lisa – and took the phone with him to the bathroom where he sat on a closed toilet seat, feeling sneaky. 

Kuba Starlight: “I just wasn’t in the mood for singing, thats all. No big deal.” 

The response was immediate. 

Veela: Is that the only reason?

His thumbs hovered above the keypad for several seconds before he finally typed a brief answer.

Kuba Starlight: Yes. 

He watched the three dots moving while rubbing his chin, anxiously awaiting her next jab. It took her a while, leaving him wondering what kind of indictment she was drafting. 

Veela: Because I just talked to him and it didn’t seem like a “no big deal” to him. And people noticed too. It’s no.1 gossip right now. I’m slightly jealous. You’re trying to steal my spotlight, no doubt. :p

The last remark made him smile. Perhaps she wasn’t that angry after all. 

And so am I, he thought. Wonder how you did it. 

Kuba Starlight: People will always talk. One day I forget to comb my hair and the next day they start a rumor that I’m a depressed drunk.

Kuba Starlight: Josh is quite oversensitive these days. 

He expected her to continue pestering him about the stupid ‘stage incident’, but she switched back to her caring and understanding (and nosy) self instead. 

Kuba Starlight: In fact, I have. 

Veela: You shouldn’t blame him. 

Veela: I know you were worried about the show too. Maybe you two should just… talk?

Veela: What about my previous suggestion? The room is still available. 

Veela: I just really don’t think you should spend Christmas alone. Unless you’ve found someone to spend it with…

He couldn’t even tell why answering truthfully suddenly made him feel so irritable. Perhaps because he wasn’t really truthful. 

Kuba Starlight: Nothing serious. Just a casual acquaintance. 

Veela: OK. That’s good news. 

Is it?! He watched – all hopeful – as the three dots appeared again. 

Veela: It might get serious eventually. You never know. :)

That only made him feel worse. And there were no more dots after that. Obviously, she dropped the subject, which in turn made his stomach drop. It was always like that, with him being torn between ‘honey, don’t feed me’ and ‘why aren’t you talking to me?’ She was convinced they were friends – bless her heart… and damn his. He kept feeding her this idea only to keep in contact with her, knowing too well it was both self-destructive and toxic. 

He shouldn’t want her to keep persuading him; he in fact shouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place, but that wretched creature inside his head always prevailed. The truth was that he had considered her suggestion – his heart even skipped a beat when she first mentioned it as a possibility  – and the wretched creature wanted him to say yes. 

It was right after right after Josh casually informed her that their parents were taking a long-desired trip during Christmas, and she immediately thought about him being left alone, bless her big heart. 

So yes, he wanted to say yes, it just wasn’t justifiable up until recently. Now he had a perfect excuse, so he quickly started typing another message. 

He re-read the blabbery he just sent and groaned again, loudly this time. Not only because he didn’t really think it through yet, it was still just a vague idea. But also because of all those typos he always made when he was in a rush. 

Kuba Starlight: But she asked me if we could go sking, so maybe we could come together.

Kuba Starlight: You know… to keep an eye on him. 

Kuba Starlight: Not that I don’t trust you… but, you know…

Kuba Starlight: But don’t worry about our stay. I’ll find us something else. Somthing with jacuzzi and champange. 

And she never commented on it. She never judged him. 

Veela: :D

Veela: Oukey then! I’ll be happy to see you again. And to meet your new girl. 

December 18th 2025, Nashville; Josh

They made it. The first part of the tour successfully completed, Christmas was finally here and the atmosphere in the city already satiated with the holiday mood. Just a few more days… and then he would see her again. 

There was one last thing that Josh desperately needed to do, and so far it had prevented him from being able to join and enjoy the festivities. He had been sitting in their favorite cafeteria for more than an hour now, more and more convinced that he had been stood up. The idea weighed like a huge stone on his chest and it grew heavier with each passing minute. 

But at last, he appeared. Effortlessly charismatic as always. Lean and tall, with his hair neatly braided this time. He spotted Josh immediately, but remained standing by the door for a few excruciatingly long seconds before he finally made his way towards Josh’s table. 

Josh stood up and made one hesitant step forward, but Christopher quickly stopped him with his outstretched palm. A simple gesture that felt like having a bucketful of icy water tipped over his head. 

Josh knew that it was absolutely foolish to hope for a hug, but after all those years, it was just like a conditioned reflex. He had spent so much time hugging that man that it seemed unnatural not to do it, even under the current circumstances… “Please, at least sit.” He sounded defeated.

Christopher took the chair opposite to Josh and leaned back with his arms crossed. It wasn’t going to be easy, that was certain. “Ok, spill. What do you want?”

“I… the idea that I’d never see you again was just unbearable…I mean…”

Christopher cocked his brow exasperatedly. “Spare me.”

Josh started to panic. It was so hard to tame the thoughts in his head so that he could transform them into a coherent sentence. Christopher was well aware, but also unwilling to make it any easier for him. Josh had spent hours looking into those eyes. Somewhere behind them, there used to be a place that felt like home. Now he could clearly see that he was no longer welcome there. So, instead of trespassing, he lowered his eyes and opted to tell it to the coffee cup. “No… I mean, without, eh, I cou..couldn’t stand not to see you again and…and not to tell you how sorry I am.” 

A few more excruciating seconds passed before he dared to look up again. Christopher was rubbing his lower lip with the tips of his fingers – something he always did when he was searching for the right words. The silence made Josh’s chest tighten.

“I gave you quite a lot of freedom,” Christopher said at last. 

“I know…”

“And you said you’d never do anything that would hurt me. And I trusted you.”

“I know…”

“And you betrayed that trust… twice!”

“We were no longer together when I… I didn’t expect you to…”  The sound of Christopher’s palm slapping the wooden desk right in front of Josh made him jump. 

“YOU TOLD ME…” Christopher raised his voice menacingly, but quickly tried to calm himself down when he saw Josh’s startled stare. They were in public, after all. He knew the rules, and it affected him too now. So, he took a deep breath before he continued: “You told me that it was not even a possibility, so naturally, I feel like everything you EVER said was a lie.”

“I didn’t lie. I…I didn’t know it was a possibility, Taffy,” Josh’s voice faltered. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to fight off the stinging sensation, but it was no use. He was crying. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed. They sat silent for several seconds; thankfully, it was enough for Josh to pull himself together and Christopher mercifully granted him that luxury. 

“The thing that happened with David…,” Josh cleared his throat and continued, fully determined to say everything he wanted to: “I know no apology could even make it right. The worst thing is that it really meant nothing. I feel like I’ve lost control of my life even since, which…I guess…I fully deserve. Like a drunken boat. You remember the poem? And now she… she’s both the anchor and the sea. And it happened so fast. I… when you came to the hospital  with mom and Jake, I felt like being stuck between two cogwheels. But the thing I said, it hasn’t changed. I never stopped loving you.” 

Josh so desperately wanted him to understand it. Even if he would never see him again, even though he knew Christopher didn’t want to accept it, Josh just needed him to understand that some people are like tattoos, and there’s always enough space for more than one. Sweet Olalla understood…

Christopher slowly leaned forward and, with his elbows now on the table, he put his hand together and started rubbing his lip against the fingertips once more. Josh waited patiently. Whatever the outcome, at least he knew Taffy was giving it a thought. 

“How’s your head? Are you well?” he finally said. 

Josh looked at him in confusion. Did Christopher think he’d gone mental? “I…yeah, it’s healed pretty nicely. I still have headaches sometimes, but… why?” 

Christopher took a deep breath. “Because I’ve been fucking worried, jerk!”

December 22nd, Zakopane; Agnieszka

Just like the last time, she was restless since the early morning. But unlike the last time, she didn’t spend hours waiting in the freezing cold. Also, no separate room for him this time. Joshua was just going to stay with her. Eulalia was basically home to him now. 

Jake and his girl rented a private chalet on the opposite hill, right next the main ski slope. He was supposed to drop Joshua around five and then they’d all meet in town for dinner later. That was the plan. 

It was already half past five when the bell above the main door finally chimed and a familiar figure stepped inside. She quickly jumped out of her seat behind the reception desk and ran right into his arms, nearly knocking him off. 

“Ugh, sweet girl, easy!” he chuckled, hugging her back. He buried his face in her hair and stayed that way for several seconds, which wasn’t strange at all. However, she soon began to wonder about how silent he was… that was definitely strange. 

Breaking the embrace at last, she was finally able to take a good look at him… and froze. 

There was a nasty bruise on the left side of his chin, and his lower lip was split and swollen, making him look like he had been in a fist fight. 

“Joshua, what the hell happened?”

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96   @gvfstuddedmajesty @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @tripthelightfantastix @sanguinebats @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @kiszkas-canvas @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @hollyco @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @dayumclarizzel @lipstickitty @clownstarr @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @blankvz @psychedelectable

[samfkiszka]

Movies

★・・・・・・★

This is how it feels to be in love, This is life from above

or a short boyfriend josh x fem reader

Word Count: 3,295

WARNINGS: SMUT!! 18+ ONLY! Oral (male receiving), dry humping, unprotected PIV sex (wrap it before you tap it i guess), sub!josh/switch!josh, handcuffs, a little bit of denial?, if i’m missing anything let me know!

a/n: okay it’s short and probably mediocre, but i’ve been so extremely busy lately. paper bag ch 4 is OTW! i am nearly done, i promise.

★・・・・・・★

You press your body flush against him, relishing the soft whimpers muffled by your clashing lips. His hands roam against the expanse of your back, gripping the soft flesh needily. Your head is spinning, intoxicated by nothing but Josh. Every facet of him was invading your senses; the feel of his hands, the smell of his cologne, the sweet noises you were managing to elicit from your position above him. He ground his hips up, pushing his hard-on against you in a desperate attempt to feel any sort of friction. You were seconds away from giving in, unbuttoning his jeans and touching him only the way you were allowed to; the way that would have had him whining beautifully underneath you.

Too bad you didn’t have enough time.

You were cut off by the shrill sound of a phone ringing beside you, the ringtone you had specifically set for Jake– Josh’s twin brother. Reluctantly pulling away from Josh, who was quick to try and tug you back to him, you answered the phone with an exasperated huff.

“Hello?” You breathe, trying your best to sound calm and collected.

“Where the fuck are you guys? We’ve been banging on the door for ten minutes,” Jake chuckled, not sounding the least bit irritated at your lack of awareness and hospitality.

“Fuck,” you mumble, turning to Josh. Eyes blown, cheeks flushed, lips swollen, hair in disarray– he was truly a sight to behold. “Be there in a second.” You hang up before Jake can respond, tossing the phone on the bed so hard it tumbles to the ground with a thunk.

“They’re here.”

“Who?” Josh pants, still greedily exploring your body.

“Your brothers,” you grumbled, pushing off of Josh.

“Huh?” He hums, not entirely focused on the words coming out of your mouth.

“Movie night,” you explain, reminding him of the event he scheduled earlier in the day. You glance in the mirror for a moment, fixing your hair to the best of your ability. You turn to face Josh, drinking in his disheveled appearance, “Better fix yourself up, sweet boy,” you warn, all too aware of how relentlessly his brother’s would tease him if they saw him like this.

“Tell them to go away,” Josh complains, propping himself up on his elbows, “C’mon, I- I’ve been so good, I just wanna touch you.”

“Sorry, angel, you're the one who invited them.” You ignore him, racing to the front of your apartment to let your somewhat unwelcome guests in. bc

Sam is still banging against the door when you tear it open, grinning from ear to ear when he spots you.

“Fucking finally,” he laughs, “What took you so long?”

“Um, got caught up doing something,” you mumble, glancing behind you to spot Josh sauntering in.

“Yeah, there’s something right there,” Danny teases, eyeing Josh.

Jake shoves in, rolling his eyes and tossing a pizza down onto your coffee table. He plops down on the couch, grabbing the remote so assuredly it was like he owned the place; he nearly did with the amount of time he spent over here.

“Have a seat,” You sigh sarcastically, shooting an apologetic glance over to Josh.

Not like you have any reason to feel bad, he was the one who invited them earlier. But he was also right– he had been good, he always was. He did deserve a reward, for you to make him feel good.

Although, you did enjoy the idea of watching him squirm all night.

“Decide on a movie?” You ask casually, sitting down in the squished armchair next to Josh. His breath hitches at the sudden contact, tensing almost immediately.

“Nope,” Jake answers, popping the “p”.

“He wants to watch The Princess Bride again,” Sam grumbles.

“No way, we’ve seen that a million times,” Danny complains.

You let their banter fade into background noise, knowing full well neither you or Josh were capable of paying any sort of attention to a movie right now. He turns to face you, his face neary pained as he studies your features.

“Sorry,” you frown teasingly, running your hand gently up and down his arm.

He clears his throat nervously, goosebumps prickling his skin where you were touching.

“That sound good guys?” Jake’s voice snaps you back to reality.

“Huh?” Josh coughs, eyes darting around the room anxiously.

“Treasure Island.”

“Y-yeah, sounds fine.”

Jake laughs, flicking the pizza box open and pressing play on the movie. Truthfully, it didn’t matter what movie was playing. Your eyes were squarely on Josh’s face, while his were glazed over in his attempt to pay attention to the screen.

Maybe it was fucked up, thinking about him like this when his brothers were sitting only two feet away. Images of pinning him under you, handcuffing him to the headboard. Denying him release just to hear him beg for what he wants in his sweet, lilting voice. Driving him crazy, refusing to let him touch you when that’s the only thing he ever really wants. It was so easy to work him up, to have him melting in your hands.

The movie continued to play, enrapturing the attention of your now fully unwelcome houseguests. Josh shifted subtly, pressing the throw pillow he had been clenching against his crotch in an extremely non-conspicuous manner.

“You okay?” You whisper lovingly, trying not to garner too much attention.

“Hm? Yeah, fine,” he strains, shifting against you once again.

“You sure? You look a little…” You trail off teasingly, scratching your nails against his arm.

“No, m’good,” his voice cracks, betraying his true feelings.

“Poor baby,” you coo, leaning your head onto his shoulder. His breath hitches, and he closes his eyes, cursing softly under his breath.

Scenes flash on the screen but it didn’t matter to either of you. Sam talked loudly over the movie, earning annoyed groans from both Jake and Danny, yet neither of you seemed to care. The pizza dwindled away, but food was the last thing on your mind.

No, all you cared about in this moment was Josh; touching him, kissing him, worshiping him. And you could tell that was the only thing on his mind too. The way his chest heaved, his cheeks flushed, the way he chewed his perfect bottom lip; he was so far gone you couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.

What felt like an eternity later, the movie was over and the guys were clamoring to start another.

“No!” Josh shouts, surprising nearly everyone.

They all turn to face him, faces expressing a mixture of worry and shock.

“Sorry, I just- I mean- stomachache,” He stammers, eyes downcast to the floor.

“You okay, man?” Jake asked, laughing tentatively.

“He’s fine.” You rub his back soothingly, playing up the bit, “We ate at that one place earlier, I think the chicken had gone bad,” you explain, pulling on the memory you had of Jake locking himself up in the bathroom for twenty four hours after eating at a specific restaurant downtown.

“Oh, yikes.” Jake scratches his face, brows furrowed in concern, “Well… feel better man.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him,” you assure, glancing at Josh’s pouty face.

“Sure you will.” Sam rolls his eyes, standing up with a grunt and stretching dramatically, “We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Hope you feel better, Josh!” Danny shouts over Sam’s shoulder as they begin shoving out the door. Jake scoffs, shooting the two of you a more than knowing look.

Once the door clicks shut it’s impressive how quickly Josh is latching on to you. His hands clutching your sides, his mouth pressing hurried kisses to your neck.

“Please-” He chokes out, his voice cracking.

You shush him, petting his hair in an attempt to calm him down. You loved giving Josh what he wanted— he was more than deserving most of the time. Truly, all he wanted was to please you. But a tiny part of you, one that you tried to keep at bay, reveled in denying him. In refusing his wishes to touch you, kiss you, make you feel good.

He grabs your hand, tugging you towards the bedroom and a little voice in your brain reminds you of a certain object you had stowed away in a shoebox under your bed. A pair of handcuffs that you had initially bought as a joke— before you realized just how much you got off on using them on Josh.

You follow behind, letting him have his moment, letting him think that finally he was going to get the release his body had been screaming for all night.

He pulls you onto the bed, lips desperately seeking out your own as the two of you crash together in a heap of tangled limbs. His touch is urgent, exploring every dip and curve of your body like he had never touched you before. You pull back, breathless and flushed.

“Get the cuffs.”

His face falls, a pout gracing his perfect features, “Why?”

You stare at him silently, trying your best to appear firm and demanding. It was never easy with him.

“Because I said so.”

“But…” He’s fully frowning now, obviously hurt that you’re adding yet another obstacle separating the two of you, “I just… Mama, please, let me make you feel good. You know it’s all I wanna do.”

“I know, angel,” you hum, running your hands through his curls, “Don’t you trust me?”

He nods, still frowning, still silently refusing to do what you asked. You press a gentle kiss to his forehead, drinking in the sweet whine that slips past his swollen lips. He hesitates, but slowly lifts off the bed, reaching underneath and then pulling out the orange shoebox. He flips open the lid, revealing a wide array of toys, before pulling out the silvery handcuffs.

“Good boy,” you praise as he hands you the cuffs. He can act like he doesn’t want to wear them all he wants, but the way he’s straining against his jeans… you knew him too well to accept that this wasn’t something he wanted, “Do you remember our safe word?” You whisper, smiling when he nods enthusiastically.

“Undress for me, sweet boy.”

He rips off his clothes in record time, leaving only his boxers on and tossing the others into a random corner of your shared room. He lays down without question, lifting his hands up to the baseboard— he was familiar with this routine.

You crawl up his body slowly, tantalizingly, peppering kisses along the bare expanse of his torso. You shift into a sitting position, leaning over and clicking the cuffs loosely against his wrists. He tugs them once, showing you that he’s fully locked up. You shimmy down his body once more, lining your face up with clothed crotch. You press a kiss to the painfully obvious bulge that’s straining against his black boxers.

His hips buck up so hard he slams into your face, quickly muttering out an apology as he relentlessly grinds against nothing in a desperate attempt to feel any sort of relief.

“God… p- please touch me.”

“I am touching you,” You mumble, running your hands along his body, finally halting at the waistband of his boxers.

“You know what I mean,” he whines, staring at you so intently you suddenly feel embarrassed.

“Nuh uh.” You shake your head, “Use your words, angel.”

“Please, don’t make me say it.”

You roll your eyes, sliding the boxers down his legs slowly. Your mouth nearly starts to water when he springs from the confines he had been straining against all day. Precum is already leaking from his painfully red tip, spreading against his bare skin.

You lean down, maintaining eye contact as you lick slowly up the length of his cock. He inhales sharply, biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood from the looks of it. He holds the breath, watching as you take him fully into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks around him.

His hips instinctively force themselves up, causing you to gag roughly around him. A string of barely audible apologies slip past his beautiful lips, as he strains against the cuffs, angry red indents sure to appear on his wrists if he kept up like this. Your eyes water, tears threatening to spill past your waterline. Usually, you’d punish him for this, but you figured he had been through enough today. After all, he was being good.

Lilting whimpers fill the empty room, sending heat straight to your aching core. You grind your hips against the mattress, desperate for anything, anything that would hold you over while you continued to work Josh up. Just the thought of finally feeling him after waiting all day was enough to make you moan around him.

“F-fuck,” he whined, pulling so hard against the cheap cuffs you were sure they’d snap in two, “I’m gonna cum if you keep that up.”

You pull off with a pop, wiping the spit from your mouth, your cheeks tinged pink and your eyes watering. His dick slaps audibly against his stomach, earning another moan from him. Pulling your shirt off slowly, maintaining eye contact, you finally reveal the lacy red bra you had been dying to show him all day. He groaned at the sight, his hands grasping at the air in front of them as he silently begged to touch you.

“Been waiting all day to show you this… bought it just for you.”

“Jesus Christ,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

You stand up, shimmying your pants down at a tantalizing speed, making sure he fully took in the matching pair of panties. He stifles another delicious noise, practically humping the air. God, he was so pathetically desperate, and it was getting harder to keep up your act. All you wanted to do was give him exactly what he wanted. You bend down, giving him a clear shot of your ass as you find the keys for the cuffs.

Striding over to him with a grin, you slip the key into the lock, letting him free. He sighs happily, hands immediately pulling you in as he presses kisses to the exposed skin of your chest.

“Thank you,” he practically pants, his hands greedily tugging at you.

“Of course, angel,” you coo, sliding your hands into his curls, “you’ve been so good today.”

He smiles warmly at your praise, staring up at you sweetly. You slowly pull away from him, drinking in his dejected huff as you take away the one thing he had been begging for all day.

It wasn’t long before he was gripping at you again, his hands flying to your waist as you straddle his body. His chest heaved, the skin flushed pink. You nearly collided into him at the speed he tugged you down, your lips crashing together in his needy attempt to feel all of you.

His hands slid up your back, undoing the clasp of your bra and throwing into a dejected corner of the room. Your panties were next, torn with his clumsy attempt to rip them off.

“Those were expensive.” You pull back, pouting as you stare at the ripped pair of lacy underwear.

“I’ll buy you a new pair, I’ll buy you twenty new pairs, I don’t care,” he breathes, trying to tug you back down. He leans up, trying to catch you in kiss, and you grant him a chaste one, before pulling away.

You lift your hips up, using the hand that wasn’t holding you up to grab his dick, lining it up with your entrance. You slide it through your folds, enjoying the way his breath hitches at the feel of your wetness smearing against the tip.

“Jesus, fuck, holy—” A string of whines and expletives spew out from Josh as you slowly sink down, feeling him stretch you out. No matter how often you had him like this, you could never fully get used to how overwhelmingly large he was. You lean forward, resting your forehead against his as you breathe, trying to adjust to his size.

“You okay?” He whispers, pressing a kiss to the side of your face.

“Mhm.” You nod, inhaling deeply.

This is how it always happened. You tried to act tough, act like you were in charge. Would spend so long riling him up, pretending like you were in total control. Yet the second Josh really touched you, the moment he was inside you, it’s like your brain went empty. All you could think about was him. You felt… the only way to describe it was stupid. Dumb. Drunk on nothing but him.

“Want me to move?”

You nod again, not trusting your own voice.

He gently grabs your hips, slowly bringing you up, grinning when you gasp at the sensation.

How quickly the two of you had switched, how fast the dynamic changed, it always left your head spinning.

He lifts up into you, paying close attention to your facial features, always worried he’d hurt you. Once he had deemed it safe— and judging by the lazy grin that had plastered itself on your face it was— he decided to move again, picking up his pace ever so slightly.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chant, whining as he begins to pound upwards into you.

He decided he was tired of this game, finally flipping you over and taking what he wants. With him pinning you down this time, you take this opportunity to use what little power you have left by locking your legs behind him, forcing him in even deeper.

“Christ, you- so fucking good,” is all he can manage as he continues to thrust sloppily, his hands roving every curve and dip of your body. Eventually the rest on your breasts, kneading the soft flesh a little too roughly. He bends down, catching you in a rushed kiss that cuts off the near constant stream of whines and moans he was forcing out of you. He leaves a trail of hurried, wet kisses down your neck, biting and nipping his own marks into the sensitive skin. Leaning back up, he glances down at his work, a wide array of pink and purple blooms appearing on your skin— matching the now bruised circumference of his wrists. Your nails dig into his back, scratching so hard he winces, stalling inside you.

“Fucking hell, so close,” he rasps, his hand snaking down to rub quick circles on your clit. The added pressure makes your head spin. You squeeze your eyes shut, unable to keep them open no matter how badly you want to take in his fucked out expression.

“Me too,” you choke out, chanting his name like a prayer as he continues his motions, every nerve of your body craving him like a drug.

You feel the pressure in your stomach build up, threatening to push you right over the edge any moment. Josh can tell too, the way you begin to absentmindedly squeeze around him making his movements even sloppier. Eventually you fall, screaming his name loud enough that even the neighbors three doors down could’ve heard it. He works you through it, faltering ever so slightly as he begins to reach his own climax.

“Where do you want me to-” he begins, trying his best to keep moving.

You keep your legs locked around him, pulling him in closer, “Inside.”

A strangled noise tears through him as he cums inside you, the feeling causing you to shake a bit. He flops down on top of you, gasping for air.

“Maybe we should invite your brothers over movie nights more often,” you suggest, an intoxicated giggle playing on your lips as you stroke his back to calm him down.

“Yeah… maybe we should.”

[asacredthebread]

Tension & Temptation

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Josh x F!Reader - 18+

𝚂𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚢.

Warnings/Themes : Vibrators, Bottom Josh, Begging

an; HEHEHHEHEHEHE

wc; 6.2k

taglist: @musicislove3389 @peaceloveunitygvf @lilbitx @jazzyfigz @sarahbethgvf @fleetingjake @cheersdannyx2

You rummaged through the room, your fingers grazing the familiar piles of clothes strewn haphazardly across the floor like fallen leaves in an autumn park. The day had plunged into an unexpected chill, and the thin sweater you wore clung to you uselessly, allowing the cold air to seep in with every gust. You could almost hear the whispering echoes of winter curling around the window panes, urging you to find something warmer. An image of one of Josh’s hoodies danced in your mind—a soft, oversized garment that would cocoon you in warmth and familiarity. Just the thought of it gave you a glimmer of comfort, and you started your search with renewed determination.

The room was a mix of organized chaos and cozy clutter. A stack of books about art and philosophy leaned precariously against a lamp, a testament to Josh’s eclectic taste. Piles of laundry sat waiting for attention, a blend of colors and textures that made it difficult to remember what was clean and what was not. You smiled to yourself as you navigated the mess, knowing that it was a reflection of both of you—carefree yet somehow content in the unkemptness of your shared life.

You approached his nightstand, a small wooden piece that had seen better days but somehow felt like a steadfast companion through late-night talks and lazy mornings. With a slight tug, you pulled open the top drawer, half-expecting to find a hoodie nestled among the odds and ends. But instead, your fingers brushed against something unexpected—a sleek vibrator, glimmering softly under the dim glow of the bedside lamp. It caught you off guard, forcing you to freeze momentarily as your heart quickened, your breath catching in your throat.

The realization that this was something Josh must have purchased for himself stirred a multitude of emotions within you. At first, surprise washed over you, followed quickly by a deep sense of intrigue. The implications of his choice spiraled through your mind, leading you to images of him exploring his own desires in the solitude of your home, perhaps even thinking of you. A curious mix of embarrassment and excitement fluttered in your chest as you held the vibrator in your palm, contemplating the intimacy of the moment.

You allowed your fingers to trace the contours of the object, feeling the smooth surface against your skin. It was undeniably personal, a tangible piece of his world that revealed something deeper—an aspect of Josh that was both thrilling and vulnerable. What had possessed him to buy it? Was he merely curious, or was there a part of him that hoped for something more? Questions tumbled through your mind, twisting and turning like autumn leaves in a brisk breeze.

The frigid air swirled around you, and suddenly you remembered why you had begun your search in the first place. The cold pressed against you more insistently now, a sharp reminder that you needed to find that hoodie soon. With one last thoughtful glance at the vibrator, you made a decision—your curiosity could wait. You set it down gently on the nightstand, as if it were a secret you didn’t quite know how to share just yet.

You turned your focus back to the task at hand, digging deeper into the drawer. After sifting through some old receipts and a few loose batteries, your fingers finally brushed against the familiar fabric of one of Josh’s hoodies. A grin spread across your face as you pulled it out with triumph. The fabric, soft and inviting, smelled like him—like home. You shrugged it on, feeling the warmth begin to envelop you, soothing the chill that had been creeping into your bones.

With the hoodie securely wrapped around you, you made your way to the couch, the soft fabric trailing slightly as you moved. You sank deep into the cushions, which welcomed you like an old friend. You settled in, a feeling of comfort washing over you as you nestled into the corner of the couch, pulling the hoodie tighter around you. The world outside seemed distant, the cacophony of the cold muted by the blanket of warmth you had found.

Next to you, the vibrator sat as a curious companion—a secret between you and Josh. You glanced at it, wondering what he had intended when he brought it into your lives. Perhaps he’d meant it for pleasure, for exploration, a tool of intimacy meant to enhance something beautiful. It ignited your imagination, drawing up visions of laughter and whispered conversations in the dim light of your shared space. As your heart played with the possibilities, you leaned back, allowing yourself to drift into thoughts of him and the home you'd built together.

All that was left now was to wait, and perhaps to unpack the thoughts swirling within you when Josh stepped through the door, back from wherever he had wandered in the early evening. The anticipation hung in the air like a sweet fragrance, mixed with the warmth of the hoodie and the unusual promise of the hidden toy resting close by. You nestled into the cushions, wrapped in the cozy embrace of familiarity, eager for the conversation that would unfold when he arrived.

The sound of the front door creaking open broke the serene stillness of the evening, and your heart gave an anticipatory leap. You shifted slightly on the couch, adjusting your position and brushing a stray lock of hair behind your ear. The familiar cadence of footsteps made its way through the small apartment, the unmistakable sound of Josh returning home. Your stomach fluttered with a mingling of excitement and nerves; it had been a long day, and seeing him felt like the perfect remedy to any lingering chill in the air.

“Hey there,” Josh called out, his voice full of warmth and familiarity. The moment you caught sight of him stepping into the living room, your heart swelled. There he was, with his unruly brown mullet framed by the soft glow of the lamp. His curls were tousled, hinting at the hustle and bustle of the day, and his brown eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. You couldn’t help but smile—a spark of joy flickered within you, fueled by seeing him after a long afternoon of waiting.

He swept into the room, and without missing a beat, he moved to your side, slipping onto the couch and bringing with him an air of comfort. As soon as he settled beside you, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on your cheek, a feather-light touch that sent a warmth radiating through you. It was a gesture so simple yet laden with affection, reminding you of all the little ways he made you feel cherished.

“How was your day?” he asked, his voice low and inviting, genuinely interested. He studied your face, and his gaze traveled to the hoodie draping around you with a playful smile painting his lips. “Is that one of my hoodies? You know I’ll need it back, right?”

You chuckled softly, a warm blush creeping across your cheeks at the thought of being wrapped in something so intimately his. “It got cold,” you admitted, sinking deeper into the fabric. “So I decided to rummage through the wardrobe to find something warm. And, well… I found a special little toy of yours.”

At the mention of the vibrator, you felt the atmosphere shift subtly. Josh’s expression morphed into one of perplexity, his brows furrowing slightly as he processed your words. He shifted in his seat, stammering just a bit, “Oh, uh—well, you see, I didn’t think you would find that—”

You shook your head, cutting him off gently but with an amused glint in your eye. “It’s okay,” you said, your tone laced with reassurance. “I just didn’t expect to find it there.”

The nervousness etched on his face was almost endearing, the way his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of brown. He glanced away, pretending to study the wall as he fumbled for the right words. “I was just curious, you know? Thought it might be fun—”

Before he could spiral into an explanation that might only make him feel more anxious, you decided to shift the mood slightly, hoping to lighten the air thickening with uncertainty. “Actually,” you said, a playful tone creeping into your voice, “I thought it might be fun to… try it?”

His eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, he seemed at a loss for words. The stammering had reached a new level. “W-Wait, what? You mean, like, right now?” His brows shot up, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, a sound that cut through the awkwardness like a warm breeze.

Your words hung in the air, a spark igniting between you both. You could see the wheels turning in his head as the implications sunk in. He opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it again, biting his lip as a mixture of confusion and curiosity played across his features. You watched him closely, the way his posture shifted as he leaned against the couch, interest piquing despite the initial shock.

“Yes, right now,” you urged, a hint of teasing lacing your tone. “You don’t have to be shy about it. We share everything else, right?” You could feel your heart racing, exhilaration bubbling up within you as the conversation took a daring turn.

The room seemed to encapsulate the tension, a blend of humor and vulnerability. Josh shuffled nervously beside you, the contradictions in his expression—surprise, anxiety, and a dawning excitement—making it impossible to look away. It was a rare look, a glimpse into his openness, igniting a spark of anticipation and adventure.

“Uh, okay, but…” He hesitated, glancing at the vibrator, then back to you, caught between disbelief and intrigue. “I mean, I didn’t think you’d ever want to—”

You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Josh, it’s us. I’m just saying it might be fun.” You watched as his expression changed—somewhere between insecurity and intrigue—as he processed your words, turning the moment electric.

The warmth of the hoodie snug around you felt like a shield against the chill, but now, the heat rising between you two seemed to quell the cold just as well. You could feel the tension hang in the air, the thrill of exploring uncharted territory together. You were already caught up in the moment, your heart racing at the thought of stepping into this new dynamic.

There was an infinite possibility lying before you both, the playful challenge of bridging that gap between intimacy and exploration. And as you sat there next to him, the anticipation became palpable, weaving its way into the very fabric of the evening, grounding you in the knowledge that together, you could navigate this curious little adventure.

A nervous energy radiated from Josh, palpable and electric, as he processed your proposition. His eyes darted to the vibrator and back to you, revealing a blend of excitement and vulnerability that made your heart race. The hesitant smile that played at the corners of his mouth only deepened the intrigue; he was a man so often confident yet now, in this moment, the tables had turned. You could feel an urge to explore this side of him, to lead him into this new realm where boundaries could be redefined.

“Wait, are you serious?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with hesitation that only added to the tension. The way he buckled slightly under your gaze, lips parting as if he were about to say more, was undeniably captivating. Despite the uncertainty flickering in his brown eyes, there was something else lurking beneath the surface—a spark of thrill and curiosity just waiting to be unleashed.

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly, the sound light and playful, a testament to the atmosphere crackling around you. “Oh, I’m very serious,” you teased, your voice low and sultry, a hint of mischief gleaming in your expression.

Before he could comprehend your intentions fully, you leaned forward, using your body to gently but assertively push him back against the plush cushions of the couch. The suddenness caught him off guard, and his wide eyes betrayed a mix of surprise and exhilaration. You were met with a moment of resistance, but it quickly melted away as he surrendered to the moment, enveloped by the softness of the couch.

There was a delicious thrill surging through you as you hovered above him, your body poised over his, commanding yet inviting. You could feel the slight tremor in his muscles, an almost submissive quality to his demeanor as he glanced up at you, an eager anticipation flickering in his gaze. His brown curls framed his face, accentuating the mixture of uncertainty and willingness that made your heart flutter.

With deliberate slowness, you began to explore him, your fingers trailing down his thigh, a featherlight touch over the fabric of his pants. You traced a path upward, savoring the way his muscles tensed beneath your fingertips. Every subtle shift of his body sent a thrill of satisfaction coursing through you. You watched, captivated, as he bit down on his lip, seemingly torn between his nervousness and the undeniable desire blooming in the air around you.

As your hand continued its exploration, you leaned closer, planting soft kisses along his neck, trailing your lips against the warmth of his skin. The sensation sent shivers down his spine, and you could feel the slight hitch in his breath each time your mouth met his neck, a blend of sweetness and vulnerability unfolding beneath your touch. “You like this?” you murmured softly against his skin, your breath warm and tantalizing.

“Yeah, I—uh, I think so,” he stammered, his voice thick and layered with the heady mix of excitement and uncertainty. The way he wriggled slightly beneath you, seeking both reassurance and the pleasure of your lingering kisses, was a sight you couldn’t resist. You smiled to yourself, feeling empowered by the effect you had on him, a wave of confidence bolstering your own desires.

Gently, you pulled back for just a moment, allowing yourself to drink in the sight of him: cheeks flushed, eyes glimmering with an intensity that left no doubt of the allure he found in your assertiveness. The tension in the room was tangible, thick with the promise of what was to come. “Just relax,” you whispered, leaning in to press another tender kiss just below his ear, causing him to shiver in response.

You could feel him gradually surrendering, his nervous energy shifting to something far more tantalizing. He leaned towards you, seeking your warmth, and with each kiss, you instinctively picked up the cadence of his breathing—uneven but growing steadier as you continued your explorations. You reveled in the power of guiding this moment, cherishing the way he leaned into your touch, encouraging you with every soft gasp and sigh.

With every kiss along his neck and every slow caress of your hand, you built a world of intimacy that felt both intoxicating and exhilarating. The couch enveloped you both in a sanctuary, a space where the outside world faded away, and only the two of you remained. It felt liberating to be able to explore this dynamic and allow him to embrace this more submissive role entirely, surrendering himself to the unfolding possibilities.

As you stroked him slowly over his pants, the tension that bubbled beneath the surface began to simmer into something deeper. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the way his body responded instinctively to your touch. The trust building between you was palpable, a silent promise manifesting in the sweet intimacy of the moment.

You continued kissing him softly, allowing your lips to explore every inch of his neck, enjoying how his breathing deepened with each gentle caress. In this shared space, you felt both powerful and tender, every kiss and touch laced with a shared connection that transcended mere intimacy. You knew that this was just the beginning of something beautifully uncharted, a dance of discovery waiting to unfold.

The world around you faded further into the background as you surrendered to the heat of the moment, both lost in the embrace of vulnerability and the thrill that surged between you. Time seemed to stretch infinitely, every second laden with promise, and the anticipation crackled like electricity, igniting a desire for more as you continued to explore the uncharted territory together.

You could feel the moment the switch flipped in Josh’s mind. The tentative nervousness gave way to something deeper as he surrendered fully to the moment, the weight of your presence settling over him like a warm blanket. His breath hitched, turning uncertainty into eager anticipation that crackled in the air surrounding you both. The inherent trust he had in you seemed to stitch together an unbreakable bond, allowing him to embrace this newfound submission, diving headfirst into the depths of intimacy.

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the transformation, a sound sweetened by the intimacy of the moment. Leaning closer, you reached up, trailing your fingers along his neck before tangling them gently in his curly hair, tugging just enough to elicit a soft gasp from his lips. The sound was intoxicating, a primal reaction that made your heart race even faster. It felt like you had found a hidden button, one that turned him from hesitant and unsure to completely pliant beneath your touch.

“Look at you,” you teased lightly, your voice playful as you held him in your grip, guiding his gaze as he looked up at you with those wide brown eyes filled with a mix of longing and submission. “You’re doing so well...”

A low, involuntary moan escaped his lips as you tugged on his hair just slightly harder, and you reveled in the power of your actions. There was something mesmerizing about the way he surrendered entirely, how his body responded with a hunger that matched your own. Each flicker of pleasure on his face added fuel to the fire of your intentions, igniting an insatiable desire to explore every inch of him.

With a confident smile, you let your hand drift lower, moving toward the waistband of his pants. You could feel the heat radiating off him as your fingers danced along the fabric, teasingly lingering just long enough to build the tension. Time seemed to stretch as you took your sweet time, savoring the way his breath quickened in anticipation, an unspoken request hanging in the air.

Finally, your fingers slipped inside, the soft fabric yielding beneath your touch. You were met with warmth and firmness, and pleasure rippled through you both at that instant. His breath hitched again, deeper this time as you cautiously wrapped your hand around him, the slightest pressure eliciting another barely contained moan. You moved slowly, deliberately, feeling him arch slightly into your touch, leaning against you as if to urge you on.

He bit his lip, and you noticed the way his brow furrowed in concentration and desire. Just knowing the effect you had on him pushed you further, igniting your own excitement as you squeezed him gently, exploring the contours of him over the fabric. “You like that?” you murmured, your voice low and sultry, coaxing him to revel in the pleasure you offered him.

“Please,” he begged softly, and there was an almost pleading quality to his tone that sent a thrill racing through you. “Don’t tease me so much. I... I can’t take it.”

His vulnerability, his willingness to submit completely, was intoxicating. There was a fire in his eyes, a mixture of desperation and arousal that only deepened with each teasing stroke. You could feel your own breaths becoming more labored as you continued to guide the moment, understanding the delicate balance of power you both occupied.

“Is this too much?” you teased, pretending to pull back slightly. He shook his head fervently, eyes wide with longing.

“No, don’t stop,” he whispered, and there was an earnestness in his voice that tugged at something deep within you. You felt as though you were sculpting him, molding his desires with every careful movement, every caress.

Your hand began to move in a rhythm, slow yet deliberate, every stroke coaxing him ever closer to the precipice. And with each movement, you felt him melt further beneath you, fully embracing the role of obedient partner. The rush of power felt nearly overwhelming, a heady mix of control and adoration as you felt him surrender completely to your touch.

“Just enjoy it,” you whispered, leaning in closer until your lips brushed against his ear. Each breath you took enveloped him, wrapping around both of you in a cocoon of intimacy, a bubble where outside distractions ceased to exist. You could see him quivering beneath the pleasure you generated, and it was intoxicating.

“Please... just don’t tease,” he begged once more, the quiet desperation in his voice striking a perfect balance with the desire simmering within you. Each plea only intensified your resolve, and with every whispered word, he surrendered yet again, letting the weight of your actions wash over him.

You intensified your movements, feeling the warmth radiating from him, slowly shifting the pace as you gradually escalated the teasing. The tension hung thick in the air, a waiting game that pulled taut with every stroke. Each time you grazed over him, all the little noises and sighs spilled from his lips, creating a symphony of pleasure that filled the room.

You watched closely, reveling in the expressions flickering across his face, in the way vulnerability washed over him like a wave. Time seemed to lose its meaning as you lost yourself in this exploration of power dynamics, where your confidence lifted you both higher, inviting him to dive deeper into the depths of submission.

His quiet pleas encouraged you, drew you in; a sweet melody that acted as your rhythm while you guided him through this intoxicating journey, mapping out the contours of pleasure as you both intertwined in the moment. You were aware that you both were teetering on the edge of something transformative, and as the air crackled with unspent energy, you surrendered to the experience, as he surrendered to you.

You felt the electric atmosphere around you thrum with anticipation as your gaze shifted to the vibrator lying temptingly beside you on the couch. A wicked smile curled at the corners of your lips as you grasped it, knowing it would elevate the tension between you to dizzying heights. You could sense Josh’s awareness shift too, a palpable energy building in the room as his eyes widened with both excitement and apprehension.

“Ready?” you questioned lightly, letting the words hang in the air as you positioned the vibrator in your hand. You wanted to savor this moment, to watch as he processed the idea of what was to come, what you were about to unleash.

With slow, deliberate movements, you leaned closer again, your body once more hovering over him. Your heart raced at the sight of him, his breath quickening as you brought the vibrator closer. The way his body responded instinctively made your pulse quicken as well—the subtle tension in his muscles and the way he squirmed slightly beneath you, anticipation and longing pooling between you like a tangible force.

As you slipped your hand into his pants, your fingers brushed against him lightly before finding the warmth of his skin. You could feel him tense momentarily at the sensation, a low, shaky breath escaping him as you gently guided the vibrator to him, pressing it against the straining fabric. The world outside faded away, and in that singular moment, it was just the two of you, lost in the delicious build of intimacy.

You turned on the vibrator, opting for the low setting, and a ripple of pleasure surged through him as it hummed against him. He gasped, his back arching slightly as the sensation pulsed against him, and you could see the way his eyes fluttered shut, caught in a labyrinth of pleasure and restraint.

“Tell me how it feels,” you murmured, your voice like honey, sweet and thick with arousal. The way his body reacted told you everything you needed to know, but you wanted to hear the words spill from his lips, the unmistakable sincerity in his voice adding to the urgency of the moment.

“It’s—,” he stammered, the word breaking off as he squirmed, the gentle vibrations drawing him deeper into the delightful haze. “It’s good… really good. But... please, I need more.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his pleading tone; there was something deliciously intoxicating about the way he lay there, completely at your mercy. You relished the power of it all—the way you could tease and tantalize him, drawing out each moment to leave him yearning for more.

You moved the vibrator slowly, experimenting with the angle and pressure, eliciting soft whimpers and breathy gasps each time it brushed against him. The softness of the couch created the perfect backdrop, wrapping you both in a cocoon of warmth and intimacy. Each press of the device ignited his desires, your careful rhythm turning into an intricate dance that toyed with his every sensation.

“Just like that…” you coaxed, your voice full of encouragement, urging him to let go of any lingering hesitation. You watched as his breath hitched, the muscles in his abdomen tightening at the ripple of pleasure cascading through him.

“Please, don’t hold back,” he gasped, his own need palpable in the air, a siren call that echoed deep within you. “I need more of that...”

“More, huh?” you teased, tilting your head slightly as you leaned in, your breath warm against his ear. “You’re sure you can handle it?”

He nodded vigorously, his eyes alight with fervor, and the sight was more than enough to urge you onward. You delighted in the way he exposed his vulnerability, the openness in his gaze that confirmed his readiness to submit entirely to this experience.

With a deeper smirk, you turned up the setting just a notch, and you could see the electric jolt that rippled through him immediately. His body arched off the couch, a soft moan tumbling past his lips as he pressed into the sensation, hands gripping the couch as if to anchor himself.

“That's it,” you encouraged, loving the sight of him breaking down, submitting to every sensation you orchestrated. You continued to work the vibrator over him, applying gentle pressure and pressing it deeper against him. He squirmed slightly, his form trembling with a delicious ache as he chased the thrilling sensations coursing through him.

“More, please! Don’t tease me like this,” he begged again, his voice a soft whimper, threaded with desperation that made your heart race.

You relished the genuine yearning in his pleas, acknowledging the fine line between ecstasy and torment you now danced upon together. “If you want more, you’ll have to earn it,” you replied playfully, letting the teasing settle in the spaces between your words. The way he shifted, the eager desire in his eyes as he melted beneath your control, spurred you on further.

The soft hum of the vibrator became a constant heartbeat in the room, a backdrop to the sounds of his soft whimpers and the sweet melody of his surrender. You continued exploring every aspect of pleasure, turning the dial to find the rhythm that ignited him most, gauging his reactions and building a crescendo of need that surged ever closer.

You watched his reactions carefully, observing how each movement, each shift in pressure drew him further into a spiral of desire. It was this delicate balance that brought you both closer to the precipice, and you knew that the moment of surrender was nearing. He craved more, and you could feel the ache for release building inside him with every fleeting second.

“Want me to turn it up a little more?” you teased again, your voice honeyed with delight.

“Please,” he gasped, and this time the longing in his voice was unmistakable.

As you looked down at him, you could see everything—the tantalizing vulnerability, the raw desire in his eyes—as you prepared to guide him deeper into the depths of pleasure, one carefully orchestrated moment at a time. The anticipation hung thick in the air, an unbroken thread of connection woven through shared desires, as you continued to relish in this exquisite game of pleasure, playful teasing, and tantalizing surrender.

The moment hung tantalizingly in the air, thick with anticipation and electric desire. You focused on Josh, every inch of him radiating need as you held the vibrator firmly against him. He was utterly vulnerable beneath your touch, and the sight of him squirming with longing was a beautiful reward for the control you wielded.

“Please,” he breathed again, the single word like a prayer falling from his lips, igniting something primal deep within you. You could feel his entire body arching in desperate longing, the way he shifted beneath you as if searching for more of that intoxicating friction. His gaze was fixed on you, a mix of yearning and submission that sent shivers racing down your spine.

“Alright, my love,” you said softly, relishing the power in your voice. You increased the setting, realizing the moment had come to unleash the torrent of sensations you both craved. As the warmth radiated against him, you could almost feel the way his body reacted. Each pulse of vibration caused a hitch in his breath, an electric current snapping through him that made his muscles contract in response.

“God…” he gasped, a raw, primal sound that echoed in the small space between you, enveloping you both in the delicious tension. His eyes fluttered shut again, and you could see the pleasure ripple across his features, a divine expression that filled you with urgency. You found your own heart racing in tandem, exhilarated by how quickly you could turn his world upside down with just a flick of a switch.

You pressed the vibrator against him a little harder, coaxing out that exquisite urgency in him. The low hum deepened into a constant thrum that resonated through both of you. You watched as Josh began to squirm more prominently under the pressure of the vibrations, his body yielding even further to the sensation. You could tell he was teetering on the edge of bliss, his breath coming in soft, uneven bursts that hung thick in the air.

“Don’t move too much,” you instructed gently yet firmly, the hint of playfulness laced in your tone. “I want you to feel everything.”

He nodded, biting down on his lip as he surrendered to your guidance, each element of control sending delicious shivers up your spine. You relished this moment, the way you could orchestrate the ebb and flow of his pleasure, crafting an experience that felt intensely intimate and significant.

The vibrations pulsed rhythmically, coaxing another moan from his lips, the sound almost a melody that resonated with your every thought. You reveled in every gasp and whimper, each one igniting your own longing even further as his need began to radiate in waves.

“More… please, don’t stop,” he pleaded, his words catching at the edge of desperation. This time, there was less hesitation in his voice, a raw authenticity driving his request. You could feel the way his body responded, the way it yearned for deeper fulfillment, and it only intensified your determination to give him everything he sought.

“I won’t,” you promised him, an alluring smile curving your lips as you held the vibrator lightly yet firmly against him, angling it just right to increase the sensation. You reveled in the subtle shifts as he instinctively leaned into the vibrations, arching his back as he sought more, an almost instinctual reaction to the pleasure swelling within him.

“Just let go,” you coaxed softly, feeling the pulse of the moment strengthen. “Trust me.”

He swallowed hard, a flicker of uncertainty dancing in his eyes, but you saw it mingle with the undeniable yearning that coursed through him. It was the perfect mix of trust and desire, and you had every intention of guiding him through this journey in the way that he craved most.

You felt the vibrations create a beautiful tension, the way they trembled deep within him, sending ripples of pleasure cascading from where you held him. You watched closely, feeling the reward of every gasp and tremor, knowing that with each second you could draw him closer to the edge.

“Please, I can’t take it anymore…” he whimpered, and the intensity in his voice sent an intoxicating thrill through you. You could see the desperate need spilling over, the way his body was begging for release from the tension you had delicately woven around him.

“Just a little longer,” you teased sweetly, your own heart racing at his desperate need. “You’re doing so well.”

With a newfound clarity, you began to edge the setting higher, excitedly driving him to experience deeper and more intense waves of pleasure. The change was instantaneous—you could almost feel the breath leave his lungs as the vibrations coursed over him like a wave crashing against the shore, an overwhelming force that enveloped him.

“Oh my God…” he gasped, his eyes fluttering open as they met yours, betraying a mixture of ardor and disbelief that only further fueled the fire between you. You could feel his body quaking, the way he fought against the urge to thrust into the vibrations, so near—yet so far—away from the release he desperately sought.

“Do you want more?” you asked, the words dripping with seduction, wanting to draw him deeper into this shared space of desire. You could feel the raw honesty in his gaze as he nodded vehemently, the need spilling out of him in quiet whimpers.

“Please, yes! I can’t… I can’t hold back,” he confessed, the truth spilling onto the floor like a cherished secret. With those words, it felt like the tension that had built between you ignited into a blaze.

“Then let go,” you murmured, leaning closer as you pressed the vibrator against him again, this time with a deliberate push that captured every vulnerability he offered. He cried out at the sensation, his body arching again, surrendering to the overwhelming waves of pleasure rolling through him, each moment compounding into a beautiful crescendo leading toward an impending climax.

You adjusted your rhythm, your movements becoming more deliberate, coaxing him higher and higher until the vibrations were overwhelming, trapping him in a blissful state of pure ecstasy. “You can do this,” you urged softly, your voice a soft yet insistent whisper meant to guide him over the edge. “Just feel it.”

His eyes went wide as he nodded, body trembling under the intensity of the pleasure that coursed through every inch of him, muscles fluttering with eagerness. “God, I’m so close…” he managed to gasp out, and those words only motivated you further.

“Just a little longer,” you echoed, teasingly shifting the vibrator’s angle to keep him on the precipice, allowing him to hover in that delicious space filled with sensory whirlwind. You wanted to watch him break, to see the moment when his control crumbled beneath the weight of desire and surrender.

With every moment that passed, you felt the connection between you deepening, a silent agreement that tethered you together through this exquisite exploration of ecstasy. All the while, you continued to guide him, your every movement intentional, carefully calibrated to jolt him closer and closer to the edge he craved.

With your heart racing, you pushed the vibrator just that much harder against him, steady and unyielding, feeling the tension build as he desperately writhed beneath you. The orchestra of sounds that spilled from him only fanned the flames of your own yearning, and you both succumbed to the intoxicating atmosphere surrounding you.

He took a shaky breath, eyes dancing with uncontained need, and you could see that the moment was expertly approaching. You could feel him teetering on the brink as the vibrations became a relentless wave—and that’s when you pressed the vibrator firmly against him, fully surrendering to the moment.

“Now, let go,” you whispered, your voice as soft as silk, the encouragement puncturing the thick air like an arrow hitting its target. The moment stretched beautifully between you both, an eternity wrapped in a sensation that blurred the lines between pleasure and release.

The cries that followed were mesmerizing, a melody of bliss that echoed through the room as he finally surrendered, washing over him like a powerful tide. You watched, breathless, every expression of his uncontrollable pleasure, as he fell over that edge, the world around you fading into blissful nothingness.

“Just let it take you,” you encouraged as he overwhelmed himself completely, lost in the intoxicating waves of pleasure that buried him deep, and you felt yourself drown in it too. The satisfaction of guiding him, of drawing out every shudder and gasp, only deepened the understanding between you, solidifying your connection in that all-consuming moment.

Time became irrelevant as you both let the world dissolve around you, lost in a cocoon of shared pleasure and trust, as the vibrational hum continued to reverberate between you, carrying you both into the depths of an experience that felt as though it could stretch on forever. The intoxicating union between dominance and submission became a glorious exploration that neither of you dared to escape, as you lingered there, wrapped in the lush sensations of the moment, completely sheltered from everything but each other.

[samkiszkasfacialhair]

Vengeance

Vengeance

Pairing: Josh Kiszka and Female Reader

Summary: “When people misbehave, they get punished. That’s how they learn, ya know?”

Warnings: Pit viper Josh, punishment sex, degradation, dominant Josh, bondage (tying hands/wrists and blindfolding), use of the word “slut,” “slave,” and “whore,” puppy play (kind of), forced blow job, gagging, breath control, mention of vomit, humiliation, teasing, rough unprotected sex, impact to the face, spitting. 

Word Count: 6.5k

To say you planned to make Josh fall apart would be an understatement. However you never thought he’d turn the tables on you. 

As you stood there, with a metal shelf pressed against your back and your hands tied above your head with the strings of your bikini top, trying to figure out how to get yourself free, you thought back to the series of events that led you to this moment. 

It was a Kiszka family weekend. Their parents and sister had planned to come to see a show in a few days and the guys had the weekend free, which called for family activities. 

Each of the boys organized something. Jake booked everyone hotel rooms, Sam made reservations and covered the cost of all the dinners, and Josh booked the daily activities- which he specifically was very excited for, because you were staying by a lake. 

Josh rented a boat for one of the afternoons- something the entire family would enjoy.

So, a few days ago, you rush-shipped a new bikini and coverup for the trip and the day before leaving, it showed up at your front door.

Perfect.

It was a dark green cheeky bikini with little white flowers embroidered on it that was held together by just a few strings. It was cute however, it was a bit smaller in real life than it was according to the pictures online.

But the way it hugged and accentuated every part of your body that you wanted it to perfectly when you tried it on gave you a boost of confidence and not to mention, a few dirty thoughts- thoughts that you were sure were bound to cross Josh’s mind too. Besides, you loved time off with him. He wasn't as tired as he was during show days and you had more time for "activities."

He was going to love it, that much you were sure of.

But, you remembered, you’d also be around his family. So of course, you also purchased a cover up. The cover up was an off white knitted dress that would do its job for when you were around the family or at public places throughout the day. 

You packed bags for yourself and Josh and right before zipping up the bags, you admired to yourself how your new bathing suit unintentionally but probably subconsciously matched the one Josh was set to bring- white swim trunks with a subtle pattern of green accented shapes. You threw it on top of yours and zipped the suitcase.

***

“Sam just texted me that he’s leaving now so he’ll be at the dock in a few minutes. You ready?” Josh asked as he laid on the bed of your hotel room on his phone, not bothering to look up to you as you walked out of the bathroom.

“Mhm,” you hummed, giving yourself one last look in the mirror.

“Oka- Woah. No. Absolutely not,” Josh protested at the sight of you.

“What?” you asked as you continued to put your earrings in.

“The outfit! No!” he said with a chuckle coming off his lips as if it was all a big prank.

Instantly, you put on the charm.

“You don’t like it?” you asked innocently.

He sighed, rolled off the bed, and came over to where you were standing, clasping his hands behind your back and pulling you close to him.

“Don’t be like that, Mama. It’s just… a lot. Well, actually, it’s not a lot at all. You’re practically wearing nothing. I mean, my parents are gonna be there today,” he explained, getting a good look at you.

You gave him a little pout, dropped your chin, and looked at him through your lashes to hit him with your best puppy dog look. 

There was no sense in arguing. Josh knew you could be a bit of a handful at times and after all, that was something about you that he had to admit he loved- something that turned him on, even.

He laughed to himself and shook his head, “God, what am I gonna do with you?”

“Love you too, Baby,” you said sweetly as you gave him a quick kiss and a pat on his butt. 

After grabbing your bags and a case of beer, you Josh walked out of the hotel, and down to the dock to the boat he had rented hand in hand. You were the last ones to arrive- as usual with him. 

It was hot out but cloudy, and the breeze from the water was perfect. However, despite the clouds, Josh had on a pair of sunglasses. Pit Viper sunglasses to be exact. He loved them. You hated them. They made him look like a douche bag and he knew it. But, with you wearing a skimpy bikini that he didn’t exactly approve of, he figured he should include something you weren’t exactly a huge fan of as part of his outfit for the day. It was only fair.

Josh made a grand entrance upon stepping onto the boat, holding up the case of beer he brought and screaming out to his family to let them know the two of you had arrived.

The boat was big. It had a few decks as well as a full indoor living area, kitchen, and even a bedroom. There were also stairs leading down to an unlit area which you assumed led to storage and technical stuff.

After greeting his parents and sister, you sat down on a white padded bench near Sam who was was sitting crisscrossed on the deck of the boat while his girlfriend had her hands in his hair, tugging it this way and that as she put two French braids in it to keep it from blowing wildly in the wind.

“You look handsome with your hair like that, Sammy,” you said sweetly to him. 

“Thank you! You look lovely today by the way,” he replied.

You smiled at Sam’s compliment and looked at Josh with an I told you so look on your face. 

“Hm. At least Sammy thinks I look nice,” you whispered to him.

“I never said you didn’t” he said sternly as his jaw clench and he swallowed hard.

He lifted your legs up onto his lap and ran his free hand up and down them a few times before resting his hand just above your knee, almost as if he was claiming you.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he warned in your ear, just above a whisper as the boat started moving. 

You opened your mouth to give him a smartass reply but stopped yourself when his dad stood in front of the two of you, handing you each a drink.

“You like black cherry, right?” his dad asked with a Whiteclaw extended to you.

“Yes, it’s my favorite, thank you!” you answered with a smile as you grabbed it from his hand. 

Josh took a can of beer from his dad, cracked it open, gulped down almost half of it right off the bat. 

“Slow down, Baby, no one’s taking it from you,” you giggled as you brought your hand to the back of his neck and swirled your fingers through the curls at the bottom of his head.

He swallowed and brought the ice cold can to your legs, using them as a table and sending shivers throughout your body.

As the boat sailed through the water, everyone drank, talked, and laughed. Everyone except Josh, who was quieter than usual. He was good at masking his emotions though. No one seemed to pick up on it except you. After all, you knew exactly why he was quiet. 

What you wanted to happen, was happening. It was only a matter of time before he broke.

Soon, the boat anchored at a shallower area of the lake. The captain informed you all that the water was about twenty feet deep, making it safe and suitable for jumping off the boat and swimming.

“You guys going in?” Jake asked the two of you, standing up and unbuttoning the black overshirt he had on. 

Josh looked over at you and raised his eyebrows, silently asking you if you wanted to go in. 

You didn’t answer Josh. Instead, you eyed Jake up and down, making sure Josh saw you do so.

“Yeah,” you said, replying not to Josh, but to Jake.

You sat up and gave Josh a small smile. He didn’t smile back. Instead, he tipped his sunglasses down so you could see his eyes which were strong and giving you a warning look.

Ignoring the “knock it off” look, you gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking off your white knitted cover up. When you pulled it over your head, instantly, you caught Sam and Jake’s eyes on you, despite their own girlfriends being there.

Sam was obvious. His eyes practically burned a hole into the fabric of your bikini. With her hands still braiding his hair, his girlfriend jerked his head around and he winced as his hair got pulled, a seemingly intentional move on her part.

Jake, at least, was smarter about it, hiding behind a pair of round black sunglasses and raising his beer can to his lips, taking a sip to hide his smile.

Even their dad gave Josh an approving look and a raise of his eyebrows. 

Josh handled each of them as he stood up to follow you.

He smacked the unbraided side of Sam’s head as he walked by him. 

He laughed his dad off as respectfully as he could. 

And as he walked by Jake, who was standing on the edge of the boat, he gave him a push and watched him fall into the water below him. 

The sound of his body hitting the water was all you heard until you looked over to see him laughing with just his head out of the water, his body completely invisible as it emerged in the dark lake water surrounding him. 

“You dick!” he shouted jokingly, “You better get your ass in here and bring me a new beer!”

Josh turned to you, pulling you in tight by your waist, “You heard your boyfriend,” he teased, “better get your ass in there,” he said, smirking.

“Jealous?” you asked sweetly.

He looked down at your chest and then back to your face.

 “No,” he answered, stretching out the word fighting back a smile. 

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” you said as you gave him a peck and jumped off the boat and into the water with Jake. 

Immediately, Josh followed behind you and eventually, Sam, his girlfriend, Jake’s girlfriend, and Ronnie were all in the water with you.

After a while of swimming with the group, having canned drinks thrown down to you all by their parents, and Sam and Jake swimming away to pee, you started to get cold and the group of you got back onto the boat before it took off again to head to another location in the lake. 

As you sat on the top deck in just your bikini, with your legs in Josh’s lap, the sun started burning off the clouds little by little, making the day grow hotter, which was nice considering you were in a cold, wet bathing suit.

“You’re getting a little pink, Baby,” you said, pressing your fingertips onto Josh’s sunkissed shoulder and releasing them to see a small pale dot linger behind before returning to the same color pink around it.

“Yeah you can still burn even with the overcast,” Sam interjected, squinting up to the sky. 

Josh rolled his eyes. Sam didn’t have that problem and he never did. Sam’s skin always held strong under just one layer of SPF 30 all day while Jake and Josh would be better off reapplying SPF 50 every hour. Sam’s comment also didn’t help with Josh already annoyed at him. 

“You want 50?” his dad asked, holding out a can of sunscreen.

“Ah, yes, that’s perfect,” you said, standing up and reaching for the can from his dad, making sure you pushed your ass and tits out just a bit more than your normally would, “Thank you!”

“Course,” his dad replied.

Josh grabbed your wrist to stop you from twisting the nozzle open, “Actually, you wanna go inside with me? Get a drink and be in the shade for a little?” he asked quietly.

“M’kay,” you replied, getting up, handing his dad the can of sunscreen back, and following him inside the boat as the sounds of his family members talking and laughing muffled with the closing the glass door behind you. 

“I want to make something very clear to you,” he said as he pulled you down the stairs by your arm and swung you around to face him once you reached the landing and were out of earshot of the captain of the boat.

The way he whipped you around made your breath hitch in your throat and you exhaled hard as your eyes met his and he continued speaking through his teeth. 

“You want to dress like a slut? Act like a slut? I will treat you like a slut. And then we’ll see just how you like it, hm?”

You looked at yourself in the reflection of his sunglasses and smiled just a bit, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth. You hated those sunglasses but you were so thankful for them right now. You had to admit, you loved seeing what he saw as you looked at the reflection in them. And right now, all you saw was a little brat who deserved whatever was coming her way.

If he wanted to, you’d let him take you on the stairs right then and there for anyone to see. That’s how bad you wanted and needed him right now. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said sweetly, playing dumb.  

“Really?” he asked rehtorically, “You think I didn’t notice all that shit you pulled with my brothers out there? Hm? And my fucking dad?”

“I was being nice. Unlike you who got a little attitude all of a sudden,” you said fighting back a smile. 

You knew you weren’t just being nice.

“Yeah the way you were looking at Jake was really nice, wasn’t it?”

“You know what, I think you are jealous after all,” you replied.

“And I think, you need to be taught a lesson,”

“So teach me then,” you said, crossing your arms in front of you, making sure you pushed your tits up just a bit with it.

That was it and you knew it. Those four words sent Josh to his breaking point and the look on his face proved it.

Josh smiled, shook his head, and let out a laugh through his mouth as he traced his bottom teeth with his tongue. 

“Teach you? Oh I’ll teach you,” he said as he pulled onto your arm and led you down the narrow corridor of the basement of the boat and into a small room that was seemingly reserved for the crew members. 

He slammed the door behind him and twisted the dead bolt to lock it. 

He flicked on a light switch to reveal that you were both standing in a storage closet, containing just a utility sink and a metal wire shelf that was stocked from ceiling to floor with cleaning supplies.

“What’s your word, Mama?” he asked with his hands in his hair, untying the white bandana that he was wearing.

“Red,” you said clearly.

“And what if you can’t talk?”

“Shake my head three times.”

“Perfect,” he said, smiling at you and then turning his attention to the bandana between his fingers as he gave it a good tug. 

There was a ball of anxiety in your stomach that was more excited than nervous or fearful. The two of you had experimented with stuff like this before. You trusted Josh with everything in you and even though you knew he was about to completely ruin you for his own pleasure and entertainment, you knew you were in good hands. After all, this is what you hoped for.

“Now,” he began as he spun you around, grabbed your wrists and held them together in his hand behind your back, “I don’t give a fuck about your pleasure. I don’t give a fuck if you cum. You misbehaved. And when people misbehave…” he paused for a second to tug the bandana tight around your wrists, “They get punished. That’s how they learn. Ya know?”

All your body would let out was a hum in agreement as Josh grabbed your shoulders and spun you around forcefully, manhandling you.

“So,” he whispered as he brought his face close to yours, “It’s time for you to learn so this doesn't happen again,” he said as he flicked the tip of your nose.

He used one hand to sneak to the back of your neck and untie your bikini top. In just a few seconds, the strings were undone and the top came tumbling down, exposing your bare chest to him. The second string that wrapped around your back was still in place though, keeping the two triangles of the top just dangling over your stomach, swinging back and forth as you moved your body.

The same hand continued down your chest and he swirled his fingertips over your nipple lightly, causing your back to arch involuntarily at his touch.

“Mmm, feels good?” he asked softly with his mouth an inch away from yours.

“Yeah,” you breathed out in a whisper, closing your eyes and subconsciously bringing your face closer to go in to kiss him. A kiss which never happened because Josh pulled his face back.

In a second, a sinister chuckle left his lips and a sharp pain rang through your chest as he pinched and pulled upward on your nipple.

“Don’t get used to it,” he said bluntly, giving it one last tug before ripping his fingers from you.

“Get on your knees,” he commanded as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You did as he said and dropped down so that your face was at eye level with the bulge in his swim trunks.

“What are you waiting for? Take ‘em off,” he said sharply.

“Josh,” you said bluntly, “I can’t,” you emphasized your words, reminding him that your hands were tied behind your back. 

He didn’t need to be reminded. He didn’t care.

“Get creative. You’ll find a way.”

You looked up at his face and then down at his shorts which were at eye level. All you had was your mouth. 

Inching closer to him on your knees, you took your teeth to the waistband of his shorts right by his hip bone, and tugged down. 

They came down an inch on one side and you crawled to the other side of him and did the same there.

Back and forth you went, on your knees, tugging Josh’s trunks down an inch at a time on each side, looking absolutely pathetic, as he stood from above and watched with a smirk on his face, laughing at you. You couldn’t even see his eyes through his sunglasses, all you saw was yourself, his slave, in the reflection of them.

After getting his shorts down about halfway and struggling to get them to come off past his bulge, he had had enough and he pulled his shorts down the rest of the way, fully revealing his hard cock to you. 

“Suck it,” he commanded.

You looked up at him, licked your lips, and leaned forward to take his dick in your mouth. 

The second the tip of his dick pushed past your lips he let out a sigh of pleasure and grabbed the back of your head.

Instantly, he started using his hands to guide you. He used your hair as leverage, pulling at your roots and pushing down on your head as he moved you back and forth. It felt good- that little sting that came with each pull. 

Normally, you’d be able to add some “technique” to sucking his dick. You’d use your hands and twist them around his shaft. You’d be able to go at your own pace, starting slow and sucking the tip the way he liked it. You could swirl your tongue around the head of his dick or cup his balls to send him over the edge a bit. But not this time. All you had was your open mouth. He was in control of everything. 

In a way, you were glad he was. You could barely keep your own balance due to not being able to use your hands and water dripping from both your bathing suits and your hair had made the floor just a bit slippery below your knees, causing them to slide around a bit. Not to mention, you were on a moving boat.

However, him being in control of everything meant he was going to use you just the way he wanted to.

Quickly, he picked up the pace.

Josh let go of your hair and his hands gripped the sides of your head and pulled you back and forth on his dick with force a few times.

But that wasn’t enough for him. He stilled his hands, kept your head steady, and started thrusting his hips into you, fucking your face. 

The gargle sounds that started in your throat and came out of your mouth as the saliva collected in your open mouth and began dripping onto your chin were something you’d only ever heard in porn before. 

He looked down at you the entire time and you looked up at him, watching yourself in the reflection of his sunglasses. You could see and feel your own saliva dripping down between your tits.

With every thrust, his sunglasses slid further and further off his nose and you flinched as they came down, just missing your face, and hitting the floor to your left. 

He stopped for a minute with his dick still in your mouth and both turned your eyes to the floor where you could just faintly see the sunglasses in your peripheral vision.

“Pick ‘em up,” he instructed and he pushed your head off of his dick backwards.

You wiggled your body around and leaned sideways awkwardly to grab at them, but you were unsuccessful. You tried a few times, grabbing them with your fingers before dropping them time after time. The way your wrists were tied up didn’t allow your hands for much movement. Not to mention the way you had to bend around was difficult and was stretching your back in painful ways, causing you to wince and whine as you tried. 

You sat back on your heels and looked up at him, defeated and out of breath. 

He laughed, “You are absolutely pathetic, Baby. Come on, I thought you were smarter than this.” 

You looked at the glasses on the floor again and sighed. Still sitting on your heels, you turned yourself around, giving him a view of your ass with your hands tied right above it, which you were sure he loved.

And just as he wanted you to, like nothing but an obedient dog, you leaned down and with your mouth, picked up the glasses and crawled back around to present them to him.

He reached down and cupped the side of your face gently, a contrast to how he had been handing you for the past few minutes.

“That’s a good girl,” he cooed the same way he would reward Sam’s dog for doing a trick, as he took the sunglasses from your mouth. 

You fully expected him to put them back on his own face but instead, he reached down and put them on you. 

In any normal circumstance, this would be a soft act of kindness. But not in this one. This was just another way of humiliating and degrading you, and the next words out of his mouth proved it.

“There we go, that’s better,” he said softly and sweetly, before his tone changed as he continued, “Yeah,” he laughed, “I don't even want to look at you.”

He stroked himself a few times before he continued, “Now, is my good little puppy ready for her treat? Open,” he said as he grabbed the back of your head and forced you onto his dick once more and held you there. 

You gagged around his dick as it hit the back of your throat. You concentrated on breathing through your nose as your throat closed around his dick. You were swallowing his cock and your own saliva all while fighting back vomit that you could feel forcing its way up your throat. 

Tears welled up in your eyes ran down your face, causing the inside of the glasses to fog up to the point where you could no longer see anything. 

He kept one hand on the back of your head and used the other one to take hold of your nose and squeeze your nostrils shut.

At that point, you had lost feeling in your arms, you couldn’t see, and now you couldn’t breathe. 

The only thing you could do was feel him using you and take it. Your mouth was nothing but a hole for Josh to use to get himself off. Every ounce of dignity was stripped from you. The only thing that even provided you with the slightest bit of it was your bathing suit bottoms that were still intact but pooling with your own wetness as Josh continued fucking your face.

You were a second away from shaking your head to get him to stop when he shoved you away aggressively, allowing you to suck in a massive and well earned breath as well as close your mouth to swallow properly for the first time in what felt like forever. 

He pushed the glasses up onto your forehead, allowing you to regain your sense of sight, and both of you watched a string of saliva connecting your mouth to his dick stretch and eventually break apart into two pieces landing on his thigh and your chest. 

Breathing with your mouth open to catch your breath, you sat back on your heels and looked up at him, desperately, as he looked down at you with a pleased expression on his face. 

You were practically panting to catch your breath when he reached down and lifted your chin to close your mouth.

“Close your mouth, Baby, you look like a whore.”

No shit.

He held onto your cheeks and smooshed them together, hard, causing your lips to part and letting all the excess saliva ooze between your teeth, bubble out, and dribble down your chin.

For just a fraction of a second, he smiled at you. It was so brief that if you would have blinked in that exact second, you wouldn’t have seen it. 

And just as quickly, his expression was serious again as he released your cheeks from his grip with a push to your face. 

With that same hand, he swirled your hair around his wrist and held it tight in a makeshift ponytail in his fist before using it to yank you up to your feet. 

You winced as he pulled you up forcefully, feeling your neck stretch as your legs tried to keep up with how quickly he was pulling.

As he pulled you up, you slipped around on the floor which was not only covered in lake water, but now drops of your own saliva. Josh held you steady for a moment with each of his hands gripping your upper arms. 

He spun you around, freed your wrists, and spun you around again so that you were now facing him.

He threw the bandana to the floor on top of his disregarded swim trunks.

“Take that off,” he commanded, jutting his chin out toward your bikini top that was hanging by one loose knot just below your ribcage.

Careful not to drop it, you untied it, pulled it off, and handed it to him, unsure of the next plan he had for you. 

“That little bratty mouth of yours served me well, Mama. But now,” he said as he held your wrists together in front of you and wrapped the bikini top strings around them a couple times, “Let’s see what that pussy can do for me, hm?”

He walked you backwards a few steps until your back made contact with the metal shelf behind you, causing you to shiver from how cold it was.

He raised your tied wrists over your head and using the rest of the bikini top, he secured your wrists to the top wire shelf, wrapping the string around in the most unconventional way and creating knots that would be close to impossible to undo.

He gave your wrists a yank and when they didn’t detach from the shelf or slip out of the ties, he smiled to himself with satisfaction. 

He walked around to the front of you and looked you up and down.

“Comfortable?”

“No,” you whined as you moved around a bit, struggling.

“Aw that’s too bad, Mama. You look so pretty like this. All desperate and helpless. Nothing but a whore for a good fuck,” he said as he sucked his teeth and gave you a condescending pout.

He took one finger, starting at your wrist, and ran it down the inside of your entire arm.

You squirmed as his finger brushed over your armpit and down to your nipple, giving it a flick before his hand came up to your chin. 

With his other hand, he grabbed the front of your bikini bottom and pulled tight, letting the fabric create a burning friction between your folds. 

You let out a whimper of pain. 

“Jo-” you whined.

“Shhhh,” he said, shushing you but also finishing the last sound of his name that you whined out.

He let go and the elastic in the bottoms snapped back onto your skin with a sting. He pushed the crotch of your bikini bottom to the side, feeling around with his fingers- feeling the wetness that had accumulated. Slowly, he dipped two fingers inside you and pulled them back out.

“You like all this a bit too much, don’t you?” he asked in a sweet voice, “Maybe a bit more than you should?”

He was right. You liked this more than you should. A lot more than you should. Any sane person would find this completely humiliating and degrading. But surprisingly, this got you more turned on than anything. 

You wanted Josh to use you. You wanted him to treat you like an object- not a person- nothing but a masturbation tool for him. 

You nodded in response as he pulled his wet fingers up and held them in between both of your faces, rubbing them back and forth, inspecting what was left on them.

“You know, I’m starting to think you planned this whole thing,” he said, smiling sinisterly, "You're smarter than you look,"

He picked up the bandana off the floor and wiped his fingers with it before balling it up and shoving it in your mouth.

“You like how you taste?” he asked with his hand covering your mouth tight.

“Mhm,” you said with your voice muffled from both the bandana and his hand.

“I’m gonna give you something that you’re really gonna like then,” he whispered as he lifted your leg up and placed your foot on the ledge of the utility sink next to you. 

Still holding the crotch of your bottoms to the side with one hand, he lined himself up with your entrance and then held onto your hip with his other hand as he slid inside you, bottoming out and filling you up completely. 

He started off slow, pulling out most of the way before filling you up again. However, he quickly picked up the speed and pressure, pushing your back into the metal shelf behind you with every thrust. 

That familiar dull ache began forming deep in your stomach as he kept going. It would come and go with his movements. Normally, you’d be able to tell him what to do to make you cum and he’d do it happily. But not this time. Right now, you knew your place. You were his toy, nothing but a set of holes for him to jack off into. Your pleasure meant absolutely nothing to him, he said it himself. If you asked him for anything to help you get closer to a release, he’d do the opposite and laugh at you.

As he continued, you felt the string of your bikini bottom come loose and fall over your leg and his. You looked down to see the strings dangling from your body and swung around between the two of you.

Upon looking down, the glasses that he had rested on the top of your head, once again, fell to the floor. But this time, Josh paid them no mind.

Instead, he pushed on your left leg that was held up by the sink and used your thigh for leverage, allowing himself to go in at a deeper angle as his other hand white knuckled the shelf behind you.

He grunted and breathed hard through his teeth while you whimpered in both pain and pleasure while biting down hard on the now soaked bandana.

All it took was one particularly deep and hard thrust to send a pornographic combination of expletives and moans from your mouth into the air.

“Oh God, Josh! FUCK!” you screamed, letting the now saliva soaked bandana to fall to the floor. 

Josh reached his hand up to your face laid his entire palm on your cheek with a hard slap before forcing four of his fingers into the side of your mouth and pulling your lips apart as he hooked his hand around so the palm of it was on your cheek and he was pressing your head back into the shelf as he continued fucking you.

“Come on, Mama, louder. Let ‘em all hear. You’re lucky I’m not fucking you up there, letting Sammy and Jake have their turns too. Bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? Keep it in the family, huh? You wanna fuck my dad too? Be my new step mom? You want that, don’t you? Disgusting.”

“No,” you argued back.

But with his hand prying your mouth open, you couldn’t get your lips or tongue to make the right N sound, which in turn made you sound the most pathetic you ever have.

“I’m sorry you’ll have to enunciate. What was that?” he asked with a chuckle coming off his lips, knowing damn well you loved being his little fuck toy and you were his to humiliate.

“I aid o!” you attempted to say.

“Oh you said no? Didn’t seem like it considering you’re all over them, wearing this slutty little bikini. Oh you look so handsome Sammy! Good for nothing but sucking and fucking,” he said, pushing into you harder as he spoke those specific words.

He started slamming into you mercilessly. The shelf behind you began moving and hitting the wall with each thrust with a thud. Paper towel rolls began falling from the top shelf onto the floor. Bottles of soap and cleaning products began falling over on the shelves as Josh pushed you into it.

Despite all that, Josh didn’t stop. Instead, he put his foot up on the bottom rung of the shelf and lifted his hips up underneath you, pushing himself deeper than ever before.

That was it. That was all it took to send you over the edge. The building feeling in your stomach came to a peak right there and exploded.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you watched the inside of your eyelids flicker open and close as you felt yourself tighten around Josh’s dick with your orgasm pulsing through your body. 

It was like nothing you’d ever experienced before. It was deep and strong and well earned.

The sounds that came out of your mouth were unintelligible. 

He fucked you through your orgasm and right into his, letting out a deep moan as he released himself inside you. He closed his eyes tight and furrowed his eyebrow as waves of visible pleasure filled his entire body causing his body to twitch as they hit.

When he finished, he stilled his movements and let go of your face; and the two of you, with your faces less than an inch apart, just stared at each other in awe, breathing heavily. Almost like neither of you could believe any of that just happened. 

Gently, he cupped your face, as if he was silently asking you if you were okay. It was like time stopped for just a second with him.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, looking at you with a genuine softness in his eyes.

He broke eye contact and looked down as he pulled himself out of you. Slowly, he lowered your leg back to the ground before cleaning himself off in the sink. He splashed cold water on his face and shook it off. You watched him as you felt the warmness of his cum starting to drip out of you.

Josh reached down to the bottom shelf next to you and uncapped a plastic bottle of water. 

“Open,” he said as he lifted your chin up and poured water in your mouth carefully in an act of kindness.

You swallowed a few times and he pulled the bottle away, letting the excess water drip down your chin, neck, and chest. 

He gulped down what was left in the bottle and when he was done, he pulled his shorts back on and stood back, admiring his work. 

Your hair was a mess- half wet, half dry, and tangled. There was black makeup streaming down your face. Saliva, both wet and dry, had run from your mouth, to your chin, and down to your stomach, leaving a wet spot on the top of the crotch of your bikini bottoms, which were hanging on loosely by one hip as his cum dripped down your inner thigh. 

Finally, to put the finishing touches on his masterpiece, he got his face close to yours and expecting a kiss, you lifted your chin to him. 

“Now,” he began, “What do you say?” he said softly, letting the word “say” draw out a bit.

“Thank y-,” you started to say when you were interrupted by Josh spitting on your face.

You flinched as it hit your face.

He aimed for your mouth but missed by just a bit, landing just below your bottom lip, giving his saliva no choice but to trickle down your chin and then down your chest, where it fell in and mixed with every other bodily fluid imaginable. 

He picked up his sunglasses and bandana from the floor and ran them under water in the sink. 

“Well,” he said casually as he laid the bandana across the edge of the sink to dry and shook the excess water off the glasses, “I’m gonna go take a nap so, I’ll see you later, Mama.”

“You’re seriously not going to get me out of this?” you asked with your hands still tied to the shelf.

“Eh,” he said, “You’re smart, I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders as he opened the door and shut it behind him, flicking off the lights as he left, leaving you there as you were. 

In the darkness you moved around a bit until a little green blinking light above the door caught your eye.

A security camera.

Fuck.

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry (no I’m not).

[ficthots]

Uncharted Territory

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait. I hope this makes up for it. Josh and his assistant, badish boy goodish girl, fluff, angst, dirtiness. As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Part II

Warnings: SMUT. DNI if you are under 18. 18+ only.

Word Count: 16.9k+

There are a few things in life that just outright suck no matter the spin you try to put on them. Running out of gas on the side of the highway during rush hour because you were running late for work this morning and were stupid enough to say I’ll just do it in the morning. Sucks. Dropping your phone down four flights of stairs because you decided it was time to stop being lazy by taking the elevator every morning and just climb the stairs. Sucks. You know what sucks most of all?

Job interviews.

They were never fun. You had seen many videos on the internet about how to present the very best of yourself in an interview, sell yourself to whoever was showing interest, make them realize they absolutely needed you in their work force. Of course you knew how to apply all of those little quips and tricks into the interview process. Did it make it suck any less?

Nope.

Interviews were still incredibly nerve wracking. Feeling like you were going to stumble over answers, blank on the simplest questions, not know how to apply all of your previous job history to what you were trying to get hired for. Despite how perfect you were for this job, it still sucked.

One of your closest friends had tipped it to you. Saying that one of their friends friends was going to be interviewing to be an assistant to some guy in a band. That there were four members of the band and they were getting so big so quickly that they were all going to be needing their own assistant to handle their daily work loads. 

She had nudged you at lunch one afternoon with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, mentioning how she could get you an application and interview no problem. You had never heard of them before, immediately pulling them up on Spotify and seeing their monthly listener amount was significantly higher than you originally had assumed. 

It was exactly what you needed to get out of the hellhole you were trapped in now. Believe you me, you were well trained in being an executive assistant. It was what you were doing now, the only downside was your boss was a raging bitch. Your boss before her was not much better, but the experience you most definitely had. This could be your chance to break out of the corporate world of assistants and try something new.

What did you have to lose?

You submitted the application that evening with a resume and cover letter, not expecting anything to come of it. That’s why when you woke up the next morning and saw a message marked urgent from a name you were not familiar with, your stomach flipped. 

Opening the email and asking if you could make it to the first round of interviews the very next day, you were in a permanent state of shock. Agreeing, in a somewhat state of brain fog and letting your mind go to autopilot to handle the interview, it must have gone well.

So well, you were now sitting in round three of interviews after being informed that it had been narrowed down to two people per band member and you were the front runner for all of them. They would be the final interviewer and would be selecting their own assistant. 

Your hands were ice cold, but your mind was still nagging at you that they must somehow feel clammy, nerves wracking your body feeling like your bones were vibrating. Blood was rushing in your ears as you sat at a large conference style table, the view of Nashville quite breathtaking from the floor to ceiling wall of windows, but you were unable to truly take it in. There were five seats on one side of the table, one singular on the opposite side that you occupied.

It was like flipping a switch, putting all nerves at bay and standing as the door opened, offering a tight lipped smile, putting your hand out to give a firm and strong handshake to each of the gentlemen that entered the room. You only knew one, their manager, who had been at your other interviews.

The others were new. As you took them in, you made a mental note about one distinct feature of each to help you memorize their names as quickly as possible. “Mr. Frank, it’s a pleasure seeing you again. Thank you for seeing me through this far,” you took a seat as the others did as well.

He gave a beaming smile, tearing his gaze away from his notepad to catch your gaze. “Absolutely. Let me introduce you to these four. Directly next to me is Daniel Wagner,” he gave a small wave, noting his hair was going to be his distinct feature. “You can call me Danny.” You nodded politely at him, your smile never faltering. 

“Next to him is Sam Kiszka,” he was leaning far back in his chair, almost like he had been forced to be here and do this. He had a dog. “Nice to meet ya. Heard you are practically the best of the best so it’s gonna be a blood bath to claim you as an assistant,” you couldn’t hold in the laugh that bubbled from your throat at his nonchalant tone as he explained that to you. 

Your hands still resting on your lap, you nodded. “That’s very kind of you to say.” They all chuckled, Mr. Frank continuing down the line. “Next to Sam is twin two, Jake Kiszka.” Big hat. It was all you noticed about him honestly. Oh, and that he had a sort of pirate vibe to him. 

He offered nothing more than a slight hat tip and a small grin. You returned the same. Trying to match all of their energy that they were giving you and being a mirror to them was your strategy here. You didn’t care who you were assigned to as long as you were assigned to someone. Anything to get away from your devil of a manager now. 

“And all the way down there is the front man, Josh Kiszka. Twin one.” When your eyes locked with his, you noticed too many things at once to make a note of. You wouldn’t need to. You would remember him.

His eyes were bright and overly large as he peered at you. His cheeks were flushed with a light pink hue. His hands nervously played with each other as they rested on the table in front of him. His tongue continuously darting out to moisten his lips. His lips parted, a toothy smile appearing as he held a hand up in an awkward gesture. 

“Josh. It’s-uh, it’s nice to meet you. Aaron has said a lot about you, all good of course. We’re all very interested. Obviously, I mean in a professional way. Like we want you. As in for your work that is strictly professional. Jesus Christ,” he was speaking so fast and with each word his face grew more red in tint, his siblings stifling their laughter behind their hands as they watched him falter.

Mr. Frank’s hands came down onto the table, swiveling his chair from the direction of the boys back to you, eyes wide in amusement as he laughed. “Okay anyways. I want to first thank you for being so patient with the entire interview process. I know it can be draining and meticulous to do this and you have been outstanding, truly. This can be kind of a niche job and we wanted to make sure that we select the right candidates and that is most definitely you.”

Your smile grew as you thanked him, still remaining mostly silent to let him continue on. “Now, we want you to start as soon as possible. It’s my understanding that you’re currently employed elsewhere so you’ll be needing to put in a notice there, correct?” 

Falling into easy conversation about your notice for your current job, starting date for this position, and the mind boggling amount of travel that you would be doing over the course of their tour had your head spinning. Thrilled that they were so interested in you and that the shitty interviewing process was seemingly over had you trapezing on air.

As Mr. Frank set his pen down, he set his attention on the group, gesturing a hand towards you. “What have you decided?” They all spun around in their chairs, huddling together with their heads all bent in, whispering. The one with the hat- Sam? Damn it, that’s Jake, turned first giving a larger smile than before.

He had selected you. That was fine, you could deal with that. He seemed extremely lowkey and easy going. No problems there. Although, trying to get him to stay on task and get done what needs to be done could pose some issues. That’s what you were there for though, to ensure that he would get his shit together and done. What he wouldn’t complete you would do for him. It came with the terms and conditions. 

While your mind was reeling, already starting to go a mile a minute on what was going to be happening as Jake’s assistant, it came to a sudden halt. “You will be working with Josh. He needs the most structure and guidance to keep him on task and I feel like your personalities will really mesh well.” 

You subdued your surprised expression, keeping your face neutral. If there was anyone you thought you most definitely would not be getting assigned to, it was Josh. He could hardly look you in the eye and the boy was extremely jittery. 

When his beat red face met yours, you gave him a kind smile. It seemed like he needed it. You immediately reached into your bag, grabbing your card and handing it over to Josh and then proceeding to do the same with the others. 

“That’s fantastic. Mr. Kiszka, I look forward to working with you. On this card is my current contact information. I know I am Mr. Kiszka’s assistant, but please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. Mr. Frank informed me that I will be receiving a new phone with a new number so I will have that new information to you shortly, but in the meantime that is the current way to contact me if need be.” Mr. Frank’s smile grew as he watched how at the drop of a hat you switched into professional mode.

They all eyed you in shock, looking at the card in their hands like it was made of solid gold. Turning your attention fully to your new boss, you stuck your hand out, watching as he gingerly grabbed it, shaking your hand back. 

Cold. Nicotine use, you thought to yourself. It would explain why he constantly seemed flushed, but the circulation was poor in his extremities. You would get him on some vitamins to fix that, you made a mental note to start that immediately. 

Two weeks positively flew by. Packing up your office and hardly uttering any parting words to anyone, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders as you left the building. This next chapter of your life was going to be one you couldn’t wait to embark on. Subletting your apartment proved easier than you originally assumed. Where you would be staying on the few breaks that were scheduled, you would deal with later, but for the meantime, you were ready. 

Already having a copy of the key to his home, you sent him a fast text reminding him of your appointment with him that afternoon to start going over his schedule, so as not to frighten him when you let yourself into his home. When you pulled up to the curb, you noticed a white Jeep parked in his driveway. Only one car? Odd. Maybe there’s more in the garage. It is a three car garage. 

Walking up to the front door, you used the key, but noticed it was already unlocked. You sighed, shaking your head, but entered the home. It was beautiful at first glance. There was natural wood covering every square inch. The large living room was open concept to the kitchen and dining room. The back wall had large windows that showcased a woodland view. 

Continuing further inwards, your head inclined towards the hallway to see if you could catch sight of him anywhere. When he appeared from the oversized pantry, he jumped, hand landing on his chest. “Fuck! Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”

He laughed, setting down the bag he had in his hand onto the counter, you chuckled and held up your phone and key. “Apologies. I did text you to let you know I was on my way. You did say text was the easiest way to reach you, right? By the way, you need to always lock your door. There are crazies out there and stalkers and if they find your front door is just unlocked, they will enter.” 

Setting down your belongings at the dining table you had noticed was set up for your meeting, you continued speaking, Josh approaching the table to join you. Opening your planner, checking your phone once more to silence it and place it face down on the table, your eyes met his as you took a seat. 

He didn’t sit, instead offering a large smile, motioning to the house. “Can I give you a tour?” You immediately agreed, standing from the chair as you leisurely began strolling around the home.

“And yes, text is the easiest way to reach me and I saw yours which is why the door was unlocked. I forgot you had a key,” you nodded as you eyed some artwork that he had hanging in one of the hallways. 

Walking around with him was like getting a front row seat to his entire being. How and why he decorated the way he did, his purpose behind it all. He was a fascinating man you were quickly learning. 

Getting back to the dining room, you sat with a large smile and undid the cap on your pen, taking in a deep breath and smiling at him. “Well, Mr. Kiszka, I appreciate you giving me a tour. Your home is breathtaking, really. We should get started. We have a lot of ground to cover in two hours,” his hands enveloped a cup of tea he had brought with him, taking in a large breath as you dove in.

It was thoroughly exhausting starting from scratch with a new boss. Having to learn about their daily habits and quirks. What foods they preferred and when they preferred them. Understanding how often they were on their devices. Memorizing their normal routines and schedules. Honestly, exhausting. 

As you checked over your notes, sipping the glass of water he had gotten for you, it was about time to wrap it up for the day. “Okay, I believe that is just about all I needed from you today. I will be sending over that boarding pass and itinerary. You know I should probably do it now while I’m thinking about it,” grabbing your laptop, you sent the email at lightning speed, Josh’s eyebrows shooting up in surprise. 

“Is there anything else you’ll be needing from me, Mr. Kiszka? Of course, you can always text me, call me, email me whenever, but while I’m here,” your eyes finally looked up from your screen to connect with his squinted ones. 

Leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, he shrugged. “Actually, yes.” You perked, sitting up straight to give him your undivided attention. “We are going to be spending a lot of time together,” you nodded, listening intently to him, “so I would like to know more about you.”

Shrugging, you fought within yourself about how to word your response to him without offending him in any way. “With all due respect Mr. Kiszka-” he cut you off with a roll of his eyes and a laugh, “Please stop calling me that. No one calls me that. Really, even Joshua, my government name, would be better.” You tilted your head at him, a disapproving look on your face.

“Mr. Kiszka. I am your assistant, your employee, your go to gal for anything you need,” you took in a breath, trying to explain this to him in the most professional manner you could, “however; I am not your friend. I am not paid to be your friend. I think in order for this to work as smoothly as possible and to ensure I get my work done and you get your work done, we need to recognize this as a boss and subordinate setting.” A smirk was tugging at the corners of his mouth, nodding with a chuckle. 

His hands were folded on his lap, one leg crossed over the other, the dark green jumpsuit not long enough to cover his entire leg when he was sitting like this, your eyes narrowed at him. “No, I completely understand that. You don’t want to be my friend-” you held your hand up to him, one singular finger pointing up, “I never said I didn’t want to be your friend, but that this is only a professional relationship.”

Rolling his eyes again, an amused look took over his sharp features. “Mhm. Well, as your boss I would like you to tell me one fun fact about yourself. Can be anything. Just one fun fact,” setting your jaw at his words, you thought of the most surface level fact you could think of.

“I don’t have a favorite color.” His head fell back, a large laugh shaking his throat. “Bullshit! Everyone has a favorite color. Whether it’s one that you tend to gravitate towards or one that catches your eye more often than others. You most definitely favorite one color.” Shaking your head as you packed up your things, you didn’t look at him. 

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, your hands held onto the back of the chair you had just risen from. “No. I do not.” You offered a shrug, starting towards the front door, your boss following you on the way out. 

When you turned around as you reached the door, his smirk never left his lips. “I’ll find out what your favorite color is. I’ll be the one to discover it for you.” You sighed with a laugh, turning on your heel as you took your keys from your bag. “Have a good night, Mr. Kiszka!” You called over your shoulder, hearing the door shut behind you as you made your way to your car.

Seeing the small bag sitting on your passenger seat you cursed under your breath, grabbing it and heading back to the house. Trying the handle first, you groaned as you realized he hadn’t locked it. “Mr. Kiszka!” His head popped back out from where you two had just been, coming back to the entryway.

“This is for you. Take one a day, recommended with food.” His eyebrows furrowed as he pulled the bottle from the bag. “Vitamin B concentrate. What’s this for?” Your hands were clasped together in front of you, smiling as you explained. 

“Nicotine use, right?” He nodded, a sheepish grin on his face. “That’s what I thought. Your hands are always freezing, but you’re flush constantly. Poor circulation is tied to nicotine use. Vitamin B concentrate aids with many things, but circulation is one of them.” He looked floored that based on one previous meeting you had gathered that information about him. 

Looking at you dumbfounded, he laughed, shaking the pill bottle. “Okay. I will add this to my vitamins list.” You pointed at him at the mention of that. “Send me that list. When we’re on the road it’ll be my responsibility to ensure that you’re always stocked. Oh, and lock the door!”

Nodding at you, he held the front door as you walked to your car once again. When your name echoed out into the air around you, you turned to face him. “Next time, you park in the driveway, okay?” You shot him a thumbs up over your shoulder, thanking him as you entered your car, heading home to begin packing for a trip you were unsure how to pack for. 

Less is probably more, you thought as you searched through your closet. When your phone began ringing, issuing an alert for an incoming Facetime call, you sighed, grabbing it amongst the pile of clothes you had taken out to begin folding and packing away. 

“Hi, mom and siblings.” Their smiling faces met yours, your mom diving right in. “Okay, first day with the new boss. How’d it go?” You looked at the screen, setting the phone up on your dresser, facing you so you could use your hands while still talking to them. 

Placing one packing cube into the luggage, you shrugged. “Busy. It’s still the beginning stages so it’s just a lot of memorization and observation right now. Taking over their schedules, trying to notice every single thing about them. It’s taxing,” your mom hummed in response. 

When your sister's voice came through the speaker, your attention immediately focused on it. “What’s the guy's name again?” Your hands went to your hips, shaking your head with a big grin. “Nope.” Her and your brother's groans caused static to come through the speaker.

“That’s so unfair, birdie. Mom knows!” You laughed at them. “The only reason mom knows is because she’s my emergency contact in case something happens while I’m gone. Not only that, but she wouldn’t know them anyways.” Her face reappeared, glasses sitting low on the bridge of her nose, peering at you from over the frame. 

As your siblings continued arguing with you, your mom spoke up over them. “Where are you going first, birdie?” Explaining the travel plans to her and where you were scheduled to touch down first, your siblings would jump in every once in a while to ask that you bring them a souvenir from that country you had just mentioned. 

Family was important to you. The guilt never subsiding at you moving halfway across the country to start your own life and leave your mom and siblings back home. You missed it. Them. Everything. But this was good for you. 

You recalled being teased growing up for not breaking out of your shell. For being too serious. Memories of older family members asking why you didn’t want to go play with the other kids in the playroom, teachers being shocked at your education levels, coworkers not believing your true age. 

They called you an old soul. You called it having to be an adult as a child. Taking on more responsibility than a kid ever should, but that’s what happens when “dad” skips town on the family. Someone has to step up and help. That fell to you. It carried behind you as you molded and shaped into a young adult and then an adult. All of your professional positions were too similar to what you grew up with.

Dealing with it for years was far too much. Leaving for college nearly killed you, but it was what you wanted. Needed. Each time you spoke to your mom, your heart would ache and guilt would seep into the cracks of your soul about leaving them there alone. 

It would never get easier. 

Standing at the curb at the airport, waiting for their van to arrive, an older woman, a man in his forties, and another younger man appeared next to your side. “You’re Joshua’s assistant, right?” Your eyes peeled from your screen to fully take her in as she spoke to you. She must’ve been at least in her fifties, wearing clothes you had seen your grandmother in nearly ten years ago, gaudy glass jewelry decorating her.

The older man was dressed like a typical dad, in fact, he more than likely was someone's dad. He had a notepad tucked under one arm and paper tickets in his hand that had your eyes nearly bugging out. The younger gentleman was dressed incredibly well, but refused to make eye contact with you.

Nodding with your eyes slightly squinted, you held your hand out to her to offer a shake as she continued. “It’s nice to finally meet you! I’m Patty, Samuel’s assistant. That one is Bob, Jacob’s assistant. The one on the far end is Monty, he is with Daniel.” A smile took over your face at her, trying to bite back a laugh. It seems that they had all picked each other's assistants for shits and giggles.

Based on what you knew of them, Sam got the older woman because she was going to drive him crazy. He had little to no patience. Bob was for Jake, basically a parent to babysit him on the tour to make sure he wouldn’t die. Monty was standoffish and seemingly an asshole by the way he eyed you as you stood there. Totally offsetting the easy going nature of Danny. 

What was the joke with you and Josh?

You had no time to dwell on it any longer because the van pulled up, you staying off to the side as Patty and Monty rushed to the van to grab their people. As each boy exited the vehicle, you gave a smile to each, chuckling as Sam flipped Danny off as Patty handed him sticky notes with her thoughts for him. 

Danny awkwardly stood in front of Monty as Monty did not utter a word to him, counting the bags that got off for him before turning and handing him the luggage tag and asking him if he had received the itinerary information he had sent last night.

Jake gave a seemingly large smile to Bob, feeling happy that at least one of them got along well enough with their assistant. They fell into easy chatter about his baggage and flights today. When his curly head was the last to exit, you gave a small wave to him, seeing his large smile take over his face when he saw you.

“Good morning, Mr. Kiszka. I already took care of your luggage with the curbside attendants so when they remove it from the van it will be tagged and moved. Your boarding pass should be on your Apple Wallet. I did get the TSA precheck done for us so that is one thing we won’t have to worry about the entire tour. Oh, and we also have global entry for the international aspect. Your seat is 24A, I am 26A, within reasonable distance so if you need anything just give me a shout.” 

His smile never faltered as you shot out all of that information to him, giving a shit eating grin to Sam, who looked like steam was about to cascade from his ears. As you both approached TSA with the group, the confused looks of everyone else as you two made your way to the precheck line was gold. 

“Hey, how’d you do that?” Danny grumbled, reaching the end of the line as you and Josh kept moving forward, Josh’s loud cackle echoing through the area. You two reached the gate with a laughable amount of time before the others. Scanning the area, you knew coffee was going to be needed in order to get through the long travel day ahead. 

“Starbucks is down that way.” You smiled at Josh, pulling out your phone to reload your app. “Thank you. What can I get for you?” He stretched, shaking his head and moving in the direction he had just motioned towards. “Oh no, I’ll go with you. We have a five hour flight ahead of us, before a two hour layover, and then another three hour flight. I need to be moving,” you nodded, the two of you walking towards the coffee shop in silence. 

He finally cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable by the silence you were drenched in. “Have you ever been to Europe?” You shook your head, grabbing your wallet out of your bag as you two stood in line waiting for your turn, the app not working as your eyes remained locked to your screen. “Never traveled outside of California and Tennessee.” 

You thought you heard his jaw hit the floor at your admission. “You’re joking?” Fighting a smile, you shook your head again. “No. I never traveled with my previous bosses and if I did it was just inside state limits. I would take over their office responsibilities while they were gone wherever,” his hand rubbed at his jaw. 

“And nothing for personal travel?” Sighing and reading the menu, your head continued in the same motion. “Opportunity never presented itself.” You could tell he had a million questions, wanting to know all the details about it, but your saving grace was being called up next in line. 

He tried to start up again as you both stood to the side of the counter waiting for your orders to be called, but he was cut off by your personal phone ringing. You smiled seeing your mom’s photo take up your screen, turning your body away from him to quickly and quietly talk.

“Hey, I’m at the airport. Boarding starts in about twenty minutes. I’m waiting for coffee right now. Yes, I will text you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye, you too.” Slipping your phone back in your pocket, he had a smirk playing on his face. Your order was yelled out into the busy shop and as you grabbed it, his order right next to yours, you knew you weren’t going to be getting away from conversation with him. 

Josh was practically rocking on his heels, itching to speak as he sipped his tea. “Was that your mom?” His lighthearted tone had an excited, but jokey manner to it as you fought the urge to roll your eyes at him. “Yes.” What you could have sworn was a giggle came from his mouth, a large smile still plastered on his face.

“What’s her name? Tell me all about your mama.” He nudged you, eyes eager and hopeful that he was about to delve into your past and learn about you, even just a bit. Luckily, as you approached the gate, the gang was just arriving, all frazzled as boarding was due to begin in just a few minutes. 

Biting back laughter and sipping your coffee, Sam and Danny quickly approached you, handing their phones over, you looked at them confused. “Whatever you did to get you and Josh through, please do for us.”

Josh had approached the counter and when he came back over to you, flashed his screen towards you. “26B. Seat buddies!” You bit back a laugh and smile you could feel forcing its way on your face. He was going to be too damn much to handle. 

Why were you excited about it?

The first few weeks were a blur on the road. It was a life you had never experienced before. Going to bed in one city, working in another for twelve hours, and then repeating it over and over. The days all faded from one into another. 

It was enthralling. 

This was something you had thought of, envied others for actually doing. Never knowing what steps needed to be taken to get the plans in motion. Staring at plane tickets sitting in your checkout cart, waiting, begging to be purchased. To go someplace new, try something new, meet someone new. 

Now, it was happening. 

It was exhausting. 

You had never been so sleep deprived in your life. Between learning how to sleep in a bunk bed in a constantly moving bus, insanely late hours after shows had concluded, and being up to watch the sunrise more days than not, you were still trying to adjust. 

How long does it take someone to embrace and thrive on a new schedule? You were still trying to answer that. Learning the ins and outs of your boss was proving easier than you originally thought. Josh was a simple, but still a somewhat complex person. Being glued to his side for three weeks meant diving into the nitty gritty of who he is. 

His food choices were quite limited, not offering many options due to the restrictions he was under for his job. You figured he would consume quite a few adult beverages, but not near as many as you had witnessed so far. He required much needed destress and alone time that he would typically meditate or reflect during. Josh called his mom nearly every single day, even if it was just for a few minutes to chat and check in. While he had a phone and used it, it was nowhere to the extent of most people his age. He appreciated a good coffee and would do his best to find a new place to try in every city you found yourself in. He always invited you. 

Every chance he could, your name was slipping from his tongue, offering a spot for you to go with them to the bar they were going to be visiting after they finished performing. If he was venturing out to explore a city and wanted to visit a coffee shop, his eyes would fall to you, asking to be his company because everyone else was too hungover to be out that early. 

He had wormed his way in with you in ways you hadn’t even noticed, but he did. Being up somewhat early to sit with you in the bus, basking in the silence as you peered out the window in awe of whatever you were whizzing by. Sometimes working, he would remain somewhat silent, but always finding a way to bring some chatter between you both. All he wanted to do was learn more about you, spend time with you. That’s why he always extended invitation offers for anything he was going to do to you. 

At first, you politely declined each invitation. However, after one too many late nights working, you decided a walk to the coffee shop he described in immaculate detail sounded quite nice. A change of scenery from the inside of a tour bus or the same walls of a hotel room that you couldn’t identify out of a line up if your life depended on it was needed to keep your sanity in check. Josh literally jumped for joy right in front of you.

It elicited a laugh, which was not unusual. He had quite the knack for humor, people around him constantly clutching their sides from his jokes and quips. What made you laugh the most though, was his natural personality. He wasn’t afraid to be himself, no matter how ridiculous he appeared to others.

Admirable. 

“A large mocha please. Thank you,” as you reached to pay, Josh’s card slapped onto the reader, instantly paying for your coffee. Shooting him an unamused look, you grabbed your phone, Apple Paying him for the exact amount with a smile. 

Rolling his eyes at you, he placed his own order before accompanying you at the table you had sat at. He gave a large smile as he plopped into a chair across from you. Tilting his head ever so slightly, he took in the side of your face as you peered out to the street outside. Trying to place what city you had arrived in without being awake and present for it.

“Your nose twitches when you think,” you were startled by the voice breaking the silence you had been sitting in. Your eyes fell to the boy and slightly narrowed at him, a smirk tugging at your lips. “Does not.”

He shrugged, leaning back in his chair, still clad in loungewear, hair a poofy mess displaying he had in fact just rolled out of bed fifteen minutes ago and eyes set deep littered with exhaustion. “Do too. Oh, thank you so much, Maria!” Without another moment to respond, your coffee order was placed in front of you and the muffin you had been eyeing was there as well. Right in the middle of the table.

Knowing you didn’t place the order for the muffin, your eyes fell to the indifferent boy seated across from you as he brought the scalding liquid to his pursed lips. “Did you know her or something?” His brow furrowed, shaking his head as he set the mug back down, subconsciously pushing the plate towards you a bit more.

“No, why?” Shaking your head, you brought your own cup to your lips, eyes falling back to the bustling street outside. “You knew her name.” Still seeming confused by your response, his pinky finger continued to push the plate in your direction. “Her name tag was pinned to her shirt.” Nodding at his words, you fought a smile.

Of course he would actually call people by their names, even if they didn’t want it, which you could tell took the young girl aback. That’s such a Josh thing, you thought to yourself. The more you thought about it the more you realized that Josh always called everyone by their first names. Any chance he could, he would. You couldn’t count the amount of times you had heard him asking people for their names. 

And he always remembered. 

Josh picked at the muffin, popping a piece in his mouth, making a motion with his hand to you with expectant eyes. “I won’t eat it all. I mean don’t get me wrong it’s delicious, but too much sugar.” You fought the urge to roll your eyes, taking a piece of the crumble topping and placing it in your mouth.

Playing off how amazing it truly was, Josh’s lips fought off a beaming smile, a small victory in his books. It had been weeks together, every single day, countless hours, but he wasn’t making personal hedgeway with you. Professional? It was unreal how quickly you had caught on to his schedule and attuned your work to his. Personal? Not a damn inch. 

You ordered your coffee quietly, too quiet for him to hear the full order which was excluding him from being able to order it for you just once. He had no idea what, if any, family or friends you had other than your mom because you had no social media presence anywhere. Not the slightest inkling to what food you enjoyed more than others because when you ate it was opposite hours of him. Josh didn’t even know if you liked their music because you hadn’t attended one of their shows. Pre-show prep was far too hectic for you to pay attention to anything other than your duties and you slept while they performed, but were present again for post-show to ensure anything he needed was taken care of. Worst of all, he hadn’t figured out your favorite color because all you wore were neutral tones and all of your personal belongings you kept packed away so he never saw them.

It was driving him mad. 

In order for Josh to get along with someone he needed a connection. Anything. You were offering nothing. Even Danny was making moves with his assistant who was a complete asswipe. The woman who was old enough to be Sam’s grandmother acted like that. A grandmother. Jake basically had their dad on tour with them. But Josh?

Nothing. 

Your goal on the other hand was working just fine. Productivity was at an all time high, it was a side of life you never thought you would be able to live in let alone enjoy, and you got along just fine with your boss. 

Because that’s what he is. Your boss.

Was it difficult to continue hiding aspects of yourself and personality to keep the relationship with him strictly professional? Yes and no. Obviously you were giving some signs because you were munching on a blueberry muffin that you had thought you gave no indication that you truly wanted it. So of course there was some leeway, but otherwise it was working fine. 

In order for this to continue on the successful path it was, you needed to play by the rules. Did you generate those rules? Yes, since there were absolutely none laid out for you when you started, but rules were there for a reason. To ensure everyone carried on with their work in the most efficient way possible. 

Honestly, it seemed like it was the only way you were going to survive nearly a year on the road with them. If you started getting personal, it would only make it much more complicated and difficult to get work done. Keep emotions out of it.

That’s the key to success right there. Josh despised it while you thrived on it. 

In fact, Josh never played by the rules. Bed times didn’t exist, alarms were never set, naughty things spoken without a second thought, he was the literal definition of fuck it. Which you discovered the more time you spent around him and his siblings that he was the one that needed the most structure in his life. That’s where you come in.

Was that the reason you were selected for Josh? That was what Jake had said in your interview, but given the jokey nature of the others and their assistants there had to be something more.

Providing a daily routine, schedule, something to keep him going at an acceptable pace. Executing it in a way that he didn’t tend to notice, making him think that he was still playing by his own rules. No rules. It took some time to get used to at first, but now it was a piece of cake. As easy as could be. 

However, Josh was working you a bit, too. That’s why you were eating a muffin top, laughing with him about the mishap on stage from the night before that you weren’t there to see, but had heard all about it. He was going to crack you, he just had to make sure you wouldn’t notice it. 

The alarm went off on your phone just as you finished the last swig of your coffee, eyes going slightly wide at the message on your screen. “Alright, we need to head back. You have an interview with a magazine in forty-seven minutes with Danny and then we need to get you to sound check for the show tomorrow night because the venue is closed tomorrow morning. There was an issue with the manager and he can only be here today so it needs to get done today.” 

Josh’s deadpanned expression on his face let you know that he was not excited for what the day held in store for him. Sighing and tilting his chair back ever so slightly, he looked out the window, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Let’s make a deal?” Shaking your head at his words, you placed your empty cup on top of the plate that now only held remnants of the muffin you had split with him. 

Did you split it? Or did you eat it all? No, you could’ve sworn he ate some, too. Are the dress pants you needed pressed on top of the black suitcase or tan suitcase? Josh’s jumpsuit should be back from the cleaners today, Jake’s suit should be, too. Make a note to call the cleaners and check on that. 

“Unless the deal is getting back to the hotel within the next ten minutes and making you look presentable for the interview, the answer is a resounding no. You need to wash your hair today, by the way.” He groaned like a teenager being asked to take the trash out, head thrown back, adam's apple bobbing as the noise escaped him, arms crossed over his chest. 

Grumbling as he finally stood from the table and following you out the entrance back in the direction you had come from. Never asking what the deal was, the afternoon went without a hitch. The interview was quick and efficient, sound check practically the same, you found yourself laying on the bed in your hotel room, eyes drifting shut as the air conditioner rumbled to life. 

You could feel yourself slowly falling into the warm embrace of sleep, teetering on the edge of a blissful nap until your next alarm would go off signaling it was time to get back to your responsibilities. The pounding at your door had your eyes flying open, your body sitting upright on the mattress and turning towards where the noise had emitted from.

Tilting one head to the side and feeling some of the tension in your neck release, you pulled the door open to see a frazzled Jake standing on the other side with a twin in tow. Before Jake had even spoken, Josh shot you a truly apologetic look. “I can’t find my suit anywhere. We leave for the venue in twenty minutes and I have no idea where it’s at. I swear to god if it’s lost I’m going to lose my mind. I’ve been calling and texting you, are you not near your phone?”

Your brain was trying to catch up with how quickly he was speaking and process the information he was feeding to you. Josh’s hands went to his hips, shooting daggers at his brother, but took a deep breath to calm himself down before exploding on him.

“Relax. We’re gonna find it,” you fought the urge to rub at your eyes, grabbing your phone from your back pocket and seeing that you had nearly thirty missed calls and texts from all of the brothers and assistants. The hairs on the back of your neck stood to attention, feeling dread pounding into you when you realized how long you had been asleep and that you had missed all of these messages from your boss. 

“Jake, your suit? It was with the cleaners and I had them deliver it directly to the venue so we didn’t have to transport it. I always have Josh’s jumpsuits taken directly to the venue so we don’t have to worry about it and I had the same done for yours. I apologize for not informing you about that. I am also so sorry for missing all of your calls and texts. I fell asleep and didn’t realize how long I had been out. It won’t happen again, Mr. Kiszka.” You could see Jake’s shoulders instantly release the tension he had been holding onto at your words, a small breath of air escaping through tight lips.

Josh’s intense glare never left his sibling, stance still the same as it was. “Apologize to her now.” Your eyes went wide, instantly going to say otherwise and how it wasn’t necessary, putting the blame solely on yourself. Your boss's hand came up, halting you before you could speak up. 

“No, no. He absolutely owes you an apology. You asked her to take care of your suit because Bob was incapable of finding a good cleaner and she did. I don’t appreciate you treating her like you are. She was resting, she is allowed to do that because her services were not needed for,” he checked his phone for a fleeting moment, “sixteen minutes. She and I have a system in place and if you would occasionally like her assistance, you need to treat her how she deserves to be treated. Apologize. Now.” Standing there positively gobsmacked and unsure what you were supposed to be doing in that moment, you watched as Jake’s jaw set. 

A small expulsion of air left his nostrils as he turned to you, clearly unhappy with what his brother was forcing him to do. “My apologies. I was not aware of the process with Josh’s wardrobe and I shouldn’t have spoken to you in that way and made assumptions like I did. Forgive me.” You nodded fervently, hands clasped together in front of your body, nearly refusing to make eye contact with him. 

“Of course. My communication should have-” Josh’s hand went up again, shaking his head and cutting you off. “Absolutely not. Jake is aware of the process and it slipped his mind. You did everything right. Jake, go.” His twin filed out of the room, not looking your way again as he left.

The heavy hotel door shut behind him and in what can only be described as a word vomit, you quickly spoke. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I thought I just closed my eyes for a second and I have no idea how the vibrations of my phone didn’t wake me up. I assumed he knew that his suit would be delivered to the venue and I shouldn’t have made that assumption.” 

Josh’s sincere smile took over his features, waving you off. “Don’t worry about it. He’s being an ass because he and his girlfriend haven’t fucked in weeks and they’re fighting. He’ll give you an actual apology in a day I promise.” 

That was the first time he had stood up for you. It wasn’t the last either. Tough spats between siblings often turned to their assistants when in bad and annoyed moods. It was expected with how much time they were spending with each other.

What wasn’t expected was every time another assistant, crew member, or sibling tried speaking in a way that was anything but friendly to you had irked Josh in a way that had him standing up for you in any way he could. Everyone knew to only step on toes once because Josh would set the record straight thereafter. 

You weren’t sure how to feel about it. In this line of work, it was almost part of the job description to be treated subpar. Not in Josh’s job description. He was so grateful that over the first half of the tour you had been so amazing with anything and everything that this job could encompass, he felt it completely necessary to defend you. 

Compared to the others, you were a literal saint. You never strayed from your job and its responsibilities. He hardly ever caught you on your personal device and when he did, you were wrapping up a call with someone who he could only assume was your mother. Your entire life revolved around him. Of course he was going to stand up for you. 

His siblings teased him relentlessly for it. They said it was incredibly obvious he was in love with you. Entirely enamored with you. Sam claimed he had caught him on more than one occasion just watching you. 

His favorite tale was at a winery in Italy. You stood off to the side of the tour group, a wonderful sundress lightly fluttering in the breeze, sunglasses alternating from resting on the bridge of your nose to the top of your head, your skin glowing from the late summer sun. Sam and Danny nudged each other, snickering as they watched their brother. They said Josh stared at you with his jaw slightly agape for nearly fifteen minutes. 

Was he taken aback by seeing your bare shoulder for the first time? The puffy sleeve of your dress resting on the tops of your biceps. The neckline dipping dangerously low over the curve of your chest. A single gold necklace with a dangling pendant of your zodiac sign resting soundly against you. The dress hem resting midcalf, the most leg he had ever seen from you. He was just surprised is all. 

That’s all. Nothing more.

Did he think about that afternoon for the next month straight? How smooth your skin would be under his fingertips, igniting and bristling as he traced every curve and committed every feature to memory. What kind of reaction would happen if you started with secret touches shared amongst one another. What you would do if his hand found home on your hip in front of everyone. How you would respond to him maneuvering your head to the side, allowing him unrestricted access to the large expanse of bare skin, goosebumps erupting as his breath fanned along your neck. Of course not. Anyways, he would never admit it to anyone if he did.

Which he didn’t. 

It didn’t matter because in his mind you were in no way shape or form interested in something like that with him. No, you only viewed him as a boss. Your boss. The boss. It’s why you refused to divulge any information about yourself to him. 

Sure, after the incredulous amount of time you had spent together, he was going to find out some things about you. Like how easy it was to make you laugh. He had a knack for it somehow because when Sam tried telling you jokes they almost always fell flat. That you were a diagnosed insomniac and he could almost always find you up in the middle of the night with a sheepish grin as you read a book. Oh, and that you adored trashy literature. Your book fell from your bunk and when he picked it up to put it back, his eyes widened at the utter filth adorning the page. His cheeks burned crimson for the next week whenever he looked at you. 

But that was about all. It was killing you.

The more you got to know Josh and the more time spent together, all you wanted to do was share some personal things with him. Instead, you fed tiny insignificant tidbits about yourself to him to not only keep him at bay, but you as well. That you loathed socks, were an avid watcher of Star Wars and all franchise shows, and that you preferred tote bags to actual purses. 

You highly doubted he even remembered those things about you, but deep down you knew he did. It meant too much to him to not. Each time he would ask you to accompany them on a night out, it was growing more and more difficult to turn it down. The more time you spent with him, which was nearly every waking minute, all you wanted to do was spend time with him in a nonprofessional setting.

That’s not good. That was what you knew would tip the scales and everything you had been working towards, every boundary you had set, would be out the window. Being on the road was proving to be a lot lonelier than you had originally assumed. 

Of course, there was some basic understanding that because of the limits you had put in place with the band that social interaction on a more personal level would be dimmed, you didn’t think it would be quite like this. With the few lonesome hours that you did experience, while it was a blissful and welcome break, you found yourself longing for someone to share the time with.

Why was your mind wandering to Josh? You spent the most time with him. That’s why. No other reason. Imagining tracing the slope of his nose with the tip of your finger. How his plush lips would feel against the pulse of your neck. Teeth nipping at the skin and soothing it with his tongue right after. 

Knock it off!

It was rare. Having three days off in a row. No interviews, no sound checks, no duties that had to be taken care of during that span of time. Where better to have that happen than in France. It was actual heaven. 

Many moons ago, one of your closest friends from high school had gone off to college and during one of her years, had taken the opportunity to study abroad. You can recall spending hours on the phone with her listening in great detail to her tales and trying to picture yourself doing what she had done. Of course, a majority of those things you could never do, but one small story had stuck with you through the years.

She had described a small village in France, an incredibly sleepy town that was the quietest place she had ever been to. The food was indescribable, the city was phenomenal with mainly mom and pop shops, and overlooking the ocean from anywhere you could look in the town. You had been fantasizing and daydreaming about this village since she had told you.

Now, it was your turn to be there. Waking up with the sun, getting ready as silently as possible as to not wake anyone up, and trying to sneak out of the hotel room. You thought you were golden until you heard your name leave his lips. You jumped with a start, hand landing over your heart. “Jesus! Mr. Kiszka, good morning.” 

His smile never diminished, eyes squinting at you being fully dressed this early in the morning. On a non-work day. “Good morning to you, too. Where are you off to this early in the am? Running off and leaving us all behind?” You gave a tight lipped smile, letting the hotel room door fully close behind you, your back connecting with the wood. 

Checking the time on your phone, you knew you needed to get a move on. “Since it is my day off, yes I am.” Josh shrugged, bottom lip lightly pushing out as his eyes fell downcast, a sigh following. “Oh okay. Well we’ll be around here if you need anything. Don’t think we’re doing anything today really. Just wandering around. Anyways, yeah I’ll have my phone on me if you need anything. Just give me a call or text. Whatever.” Guilt was worming its way into your gut as you watched his mood continue to sour, sighing quietly and checking your phone again.

“If you can be dressed and ready within ten minutes you can come with me. If you’d like,” his head snapped up at you, eyes bright with excitement. He calmed down, cheeks turning a light pink as he turned from your smirking gaze. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your day off. You spend enough time with me as is.” 

There was that feeling again. 

Against your better judgment, it came tumbling from your lips before you could stop it. “No, I would love it if you would come. Really,” your smile grew at the end, seeing how excited he truly was to hear you say that. He was practically bouncing in his spot, joy seeping from him in waves. 

“If you insist! Let me just change super quickly and grab some stuff and then we’ll go.” You nodded, standing there waiting for the boy to reappear from the room directly next to yours. Nerves pummeled you, constantly checking over your shoulder to see if anyone was going to slip out of their own room and see you waiting for Josh. It was entirely ridiculous, he was your boss. No one would even bat an eye at it, but there was something screaming inside of you that this was going to be a bad decision. 

That something was going to shift today that you wouldn’t be able to take back. Maybe that’s what you wanted.

You didn’t have much time to dwell because he came bounding out of the room, green jumpsuit adorning his slight frame, hair a wild untamed ball, camera resting soundly on his arm. Josh’s eyes that once held your own fell down to where your gaze was currently sitting and he beamed at you. 

“I take it the jumpsuit was a good call?” You returned the smile, shaking your head as you began walking down the hallway. “Oh, of course. It’s just that’s what you were wearing during our first meeting. The color suits you very well, Mr. Kiszka.” He groaned as you entered the elevator together, turning to fully face you as it began its trek downwards. 

He placed both hands in a prayer formation, landing right under his chin, large eyes peering into yours. “Please call me Josh. While it’s just us today, okay? I won’t tell anyone. It won’t damage your resume, promise. Today, it’s Josh, alright?” You battled within yourself, gnawing on the inside of your cheek, forcing your mouth open, teeth sank into your bottom lip.

Eyes traveling up to connect with his once more, you let out a large sigh. “Just today. Okay, Josh?” He almost fell over as his name left your lips for the first time. In fact, he had no idea how to respond. Only nodding, swallowing thickly, he turned away from you, standing barely a hair from one another, his widened eyes stared at the elevator doors as they parted for you both.

His knuckles were stark white from the grip he had on the wooden railing that was around the entire metal box. Reluctantly letting go, he watched as you waltzed out into the lobby, second guessing every decision leading to this moment.

What the fuck had he done? 

The train ride to the town began as any other day would for the two of you. First, talking about the upcoming week and what it would entail work wise. Second, about what food Josh was hoping to find wherever you were going to be going. Third, Josh fiddling with his camera and talking nonstop to fill the silence that would linger between you both. 

You had gone through the motions within the first fifteen minutes. Then you did something entirely unexpected. 

“When we get there, can you help me find an antique shop or something like that? I haven’t gotten a gift for my sister yet and she’ll kill me if I don’t,” you chuckled at the end, peering out the window and taking in the majestic scenery zooming by. When Josh didn’t respond, you turned your attention over to him to see a blank expression sitting on his face. A complete deer in the headlights moment.

Your brow furrowed before realizing you had given him a fact of your life without even catching it. He cleared his throat, trying to redeem himself and play it cool, but he was about to bounce off the walls. “Sur-absolutely. How old is she?” He wasn’t holding eye contact, but you knew what he was doing. 

Fighting a smile, you turned back towards the window, chin resting on your palm. “She and my brother are twins. They are fourteen. I found something for him a while ago, but nothing for her.” Josh couldn’t contain his utter joy any longer. His hand went to his chest, pointing at himself. “Jake and I are twins!” 

Pretending to be shocked, you played into it. “Shut up! No way! I had no idea,” he rolled his eyes at your sarcasm, but a giggle flitted from him as his cheeks grew rosier by the minute. “Yeah yeah whatever. What does she like?”

You filled him in on all the details of your siblings, never revealing their names, the rest of the ride there. When you stepped off the train and got in a cab to get to the little town, and realization of where you were slammed into you, you couldn’t fight the tears that welled in your eyes.

Getting out of the car, it was like a burden had been lifted from your shoulders. The smell of the sea wafting through the air. The cobblestone streets that you had only dreamed of seeing and walking on. The locals carried on with their daily lives, where they were being of little importance to them. To you it was everything. 

It was the life you had dreamed of living. That once seemed so unobtainable, but now you were living it. Having escaped from the hellscape of childhood and young adulthood. Everything you had worked towards. It was here. 

A hand landed in between your shoulder blades, the cool skin signaling to whom it was pressed against the bare skin there. Offering a small smile to him, his worried look was plastered on his features. “You okay?” Taking in a deep breath, your smile continued to grow as you nodded in response.

“Never been better.” His face lit up at your words, immediately leading you towards the city center to start the day. Arm never leaving you, you wrapped your own through the crook of his elbow. Josh’s eyes nearly falling out of his head at the contact you offered him.  

It truly was one of the best days of your life. Sides ached from the amount of laughter shared between you two. Stories were given to one another about the tales of adventures shared with friends and family. Walking so close to each other you swore you could feel the goosebumps rise on his skin with each brush of your arm. 

Comfortable. Delightful. Electric. 

The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. The rays glistening and dancing on the ever moving water below it. Casting everything in its touch with hues of orange and pink. Complimenting all creatures with the sun kissed glow. The restaurant seated for amazing views of the coast. 

Sipping from your cocktail glass, you and Josh were cackling into them, earning stares from those occupying the tables around you. The view was breathtaking and you couldn’t help that your eyes would continue to wander to it whenever an opportunity presented itself. A lag in the conversation meant your smile was permanently stuck to your face, one of the best moods you had ever been in holding strong on you. The day had been beyond what you had dreamed of. 

The company wasn’t too bad either.

“Craziest thing you’ve ever done?” Snapping out of your own thoughts, you turned towards the boy seated across from you, hands folded on the table as he leaned towards you. Sighing with a shrug, you took another sip of your cocktail, shaking your head. “Good try.” 

He groaned, slightly leaning back into his seat, nearly giving up before he gave a hefty shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah I figured. It was worth a shot though. I’ve pushed my limits with you today. Not only that, but you’re a complete goody two shoes.” It was at that moment something clicked in you. 

After being so cold towards Josh for so unbearably long, just trying to keep things on a professional level, he had hardly ever pushed you to share information you weren’t comfortable with. Sure, he would annoy the hell out of you to find out any information he could, but he knew boundaries and didn’t push them. 

And you despised being called a goody two shoes.

“I took my moms car when I was a senior in high school and drove to Las Vegas with my friends during senior ditch day. My friend had gotten us fake ids and we used them to gamble what little money we had in the casinos and get drinks. We ended up so plastered we had to get a room for the night and put it on one of my friends credit cards. My mom thought I was just staying at her house for the weekend. That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever done. Oh, and I was high for a majority of the time.” Your eyes were squinted in his direction, challenging him, trying to read his reaction, his jaw hanging slack.

Who’s the goody two shoes, now?

He blinked multiple times, trying to come back to his senses before shaking his head, a loud laugh shaking his entire body. “Holy fuck! That’s actually insane. Did your mom notice the miles on the car?” Finishing off your drink, you thought about that. “You know, I actually don’t know. If she did she never said anything about it. I never acted out or did anything so I think she was just happy I went and did something fun, but those days are behind me. One and done you know? She always used to say that her birdie needed to learn how to fly. I think that was her way of letting me,” Josh’s soft smile warmed you from your head to your toes, spreading throughout every limb, settling low in your stomach.

Tilting his head at you, his smile grew. “Birdie. Is that your nickname?” Your cheeks grew hot, not even noticing that you had let that slip. Only nodding in response, he winked at you. “I love that. It’s so,” his eyes continued to watch over you as his smile grew, “you.” You didn’t know how to respond, not knowing if it was a compliment or not, but Josh continued on. 

“Mine is nothing like that. Growing up in the midwest, underage drinking was the norm. It was how we passed time. Mine’s dumb compared to yours. I went skinny dipping once and got my clothes stolen by my brother. Had to walk over a mile home butt ass naked. At least it was summer though,” you were laughing so hard you had tears streaming down your face, trying to catch your breath.

Josh rolled his eyes at you, face burning bright red, arms crossed over his chest. “Yeah yeah yeah, whatever.” As you settled down, wiping at your face with your napkin, you felt a sense of boldness wash over you, speaking before you could think twice about it. “I’ve always wanted to skinny dip.” 

It was like flipping a switch. Watching as his eyes turned from one of joking to instantaneous mischief. Setting your now empty glass on the table, you began fervently shaking your head and a continuous chorus of no’s left your mouth. He nodded, entirely ignoring you and quickly standing from the table, the bill paid over an hour ago.

Dragging you through the streets, laughter bouncing off the surrounding buildings, you couldn’t catch your breath as his hand held a firm grasp on your arm. His chilly hand clamped to your forearm, grip never relenting despite the tiny fight you were putting up to actually escape from him. 

Unsure of where he was leading you, your head was on a swivel, trying to place your location, but it didn’t seem to matter because Josh seemed to know this place like the back of his hand despite never having been here before. When a small lake appeared, your laughter died down to giggles as you peered at the boy.

“How the hell did you know this was here?” A sheepish smile took over his face, cheeks going rosy as he bashfully kicked his leg around. “Walked by it earlier. Do you not remember that?’ You tried thinking back to earlier in the day when you would have made your way by this, but when you were about to say you truly didn’t it dawned on you.

Your mouth fell open and your palm landed on your forehead. “Oh! That’s right. We were going to the, the, the-” you were snapping your fingers, trying to place where you were heading before Josh cut you off, “the patisserie.” Your smile grew thinking back to the chocolate concoction you had consumed just hours before. 

Sitting on the grass with a sigh, you felt elated. “Thank you for coming with me. Seriously, I think you made the day ten times more fun than I would have ever had by myself.” He took the spot next to you, stretching his legs out with a groan, knee nearly knocking with your own, resting his arms behind him. “You’re just saying that. Trying to get in my good graces. I know your tricks,” laughter fell from you both as you nudged him with your shoulder.

“Damn right. Better give me a great performance review,” you two fell into a comfortable silence as the sun finally disappeared, only basking the area in a gracious moonlight that seemed to illuminate the entire area, reflecting perfectly off the calm lake water. 

Josh was nervous. He kept playing with his lips. Teeth nipping at them, tongue darting out over them, sucking them into his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was to ruin a perfectly fantastic day by frightening you off, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t do that. “Alright, what’s up?” You turned your head to look straight at him, catching him off guard as you did. Smile never faltering, trying to get him to relax.

Why was he freaking out? You watched as his eyes wandered your features, knowing exactly where he was going. That’s why he was freaking out.

You weren’t. 

This is your only chance to do something like this. Who better to do it with than Josh? Don’t be a coward. Just do it.

Standing from your spot, Josh’s fuzzy brows drew together as he monitored your movements. Stepping out of the sandals you had worn, undoing the zipper on the side of your dress, you watched as Josh’s eyes grew as wide as saucers, truly rivaling the moon. He started to stutter, sticking his hand out to stop you from stepping out of the fabric.

“Oh my god, no no. I was totally joking,” you beamed down at his nearly frightened features, skin burning at the contact of his fingers wrapped around your wrist. “I wasn’t. I’ve always wanted to skinny dip. Either you can join me or you can watch or you can turn around and face the trees to not see me,” with his hand still around your wrist, you finished removing the dress from your figure. 

It fell in a pool around your feet, eye contact never breaking with him. Watching his adam's apple bob in his throat, breath stuttering, hands having a slight tremble. He was terrified to look down, to see you in a light he hadn’t before.

Standing only in your panties and bra, your breathing was more even than you anticipated. It felt right. Like this was meant to be happening. Here. With him. 

It feels right.

Walking away from him, your hands went behind your back, unclasping your bra, the straps fell down your arms. Tossing it to the side, you stopped on the edge of the water. Taking a deep breath, you lifted one leg, stepping out of the panties and removing them from your boiling skin.

It took every ounce of courage you had to turn your head over your shoulder and look to the stunned boy still sitting in the grass. The moonlight was basking you in an aura he had only dreamed of. Turning to stone as he sat mesmerized by your utter beauty, unsure of what he should have been doing at that exact moment.

The question answered for him as your singsong voice rang out into the still air. “Are you coming or what, Josh?” Realizing at that second that he wasn’t dreaming, that you were real and standing before him in the way you were was almost too much to handle. 

Moving to autopilot he hastily stood, undoing the buttons of his jumpsuit, leaving the article of clothing right next to yours. Watching in awe as you moved into the water, laughter and giggles flitting out into the night. 

As he became fully nude, you had turned in the water, letting it approach your chin, monitoring every movement that he made. Despite every time you had thought about this moment, the nerves you thought would be coursing through you, it wasn’t like that at all. 

Basking in comfort, enthralled that you were doing this with him, contentment with how the day had gone. What a beautiful way to end the day.

Swimming out to meet you in the lake, his teeth chattered, the cool water embracing you both despite the sweltering temperatures that the day had held. Your hair was drenched, the water droplets dripping down your face as you beamed at him.

“Thank you for doing this with me. Total bucket list thing right now,” he laughed, moving slightly closer to you as he did. “I’m glad I could be here to influence you in this way. Time for you to act out a little. How does it feel?” His excited eyes greeted yours, truly interested in your response.

Something changed in that instant. The giggles had died down, instead a heat had replaced it. Your smile didn’t falter, but you felt a more serious nature take over. Nodding your head in response, you crept closer to him, your voice whispering out into the air between you both.

“Really good.” Josh felt it too. An intensity he hadn’t been expecting. One that he felt you were acting on, wanting to embrace this. With him. 

Deciding to not let logic and rules define you in that moment, you closed the gap between you two. It was incredibly soft, gentle, exploratory. His tender lips cradled yours, hardly applying any force. Afraid that if he pushed too hard it would scare you off.

Letting your arms circle around his neck, your bodies connected, igniting every nerve ending you had. Josh’s hands splayed across the bare expanse of your back, leaving the water with a splash as he held you for the first time.

Deepening the kiss, your mouth opened for him, letting your tongues brush against each other. Unable to hold in the small whimper at the blissful feeling, Josh took that as a positive sign. 

You were needing this, craving this, just as much as he had been. When he felt your fingers tangle in his damp locks and lightly scratch his scalp, tugging right after, he pulled you closer to him. There was little space left, but he wanted none. 

Noses hitting, breathing growing heavier, Josh’s hands moved from your back to under your legs. The underside of your thighs were gripped by his fingertips, motioning for you to wrap your legs around his waist. 

Immediately, you did. The tip of his cock brushed against your bare core, eliciting a strong gasp from you. Just the small contact had you desperate for more, butterflies filling your lower stomach, heat coursing through you. 

Your skin was positively on fire, never wanting this contact with him to end. As Josh went to exit the lake, you still wrapped securely around him, you quickly detached. 

Moving to where your clothes were haphazardly thrown onto the grass, you grabbed both items and laid them out for you to lay on, some barrier between you and the ground. When you were on your back, staring up at the boy whose gaze was one you had never experienced before, it was unlike anything you had ever seen before.

The moonlight held him in such a gorgeous glow, illuminating his wet and glistening skin. His hair was dropping into his eyes, but his veiny hand pushed the locks out of his line of sight, not wanting anything obstructing his view of you. Dazzling smile greeting you, lips darker than normal due to the chill he felt and the nature of which they had just been involved in. The droplets falling off of his skin onto you below him cause a sense of jealousy to erupt in him. How unfair that they were able to touch you and be one with you when he couldn’t. He didn’t want to waste any time with you, dipping his head down and connecting your lips once again.

Your budded nipples were achingly hard under his hands. They tweaked and teased you, back arching into his grasp, positively desperate for more from him. With each movement he did, you could feel him brushing against you.

It was driving you mad. Your hips were bucking to connect with his. Stilling as his lips suckled around one of your breasts, a shaky moan attempting to escape your throat. He matched his motions on the other, never neglecting the opposite as he did.

His lips landed in the valley between your breasts, placing deep, chaste kisses down your sternum, stomach, hips, and thighs. Hands held firm to your waist, not wanting you to slip away from him. Terrified that this was a far too realistic dream. Where he would wake up like a horny teenage boy after a wet dream.

Yet as his eyes connected with yours, breath fanning across your core, he knew it was reality. Flattening his tongue on your core, your head fell back. Back arching off the ground as he began eating you like a starved man.

Like this was all he needed to survive. What he had been fantasizing about. Trying to imagine the taste of you, nothing could even compare to what was landing on his tastebud’s. Eyes rolling into the back of his head, the sounds coming from you stirred him on. 

Wanting nothing more than to taste your release on him, he lapped at you, sucking your bundle of nerves into his mouth and holding it there, sending you over the edge into a mumbling mess.

When he came back up face to face with you, the tears that escaped from the corners of your eyes worried him at first, but quickly diminished as your hands landed behind his ears, dragging you to him. Teeth nearly clacking together, his breathing grew more uneven.

Your hand went between your bodies, leading his throbbing cock to your soaked entrance. Connecting your eyes once more, he wanted to be sure. Not wanting to taint anything between you both. 

“Are you sure?” Not a moment of hesitation, you responded with a breathless yes, sealing it with a small peck. Josh couldn’t wait a second longer, letting his tip enter you. Taking it inch by inch, you welcomed him with no fight. 

Josh’s pace was slow and deep, wanting to savor this. As your legs hiked around his waist, your lips never parted with each other. Pants and moans mixing together, breathing the other in, head dizzy with arousal.

You had never felt so welcomed and embraced with someone as you had with him. This was everything you had been thinking about since you had first seen him. Knowing him, growing closer with him, anything with him. 

He made you feel wanted and despite all your attempts of keeping him out, keeping him complacent, it was all for not. Josh was a force that you couldn’t fight, didn’t want to fight. Wanting to fall into him, let him know you inside and out, it was pointless to go against it.

But you had to. Just not at that moment. No, in this moment you could accept it, envelop in it, rejoice in it. Letting him treat you like the almighty being he wanted to. Walls crashing down for just a bit. Right now, it was all about you two mingling together. 

White hot heat flashed behind your eyes, body contracting as your orgasm flooded your senses. Tense muscles crushing Josh to you as he emptied out in you momentarily after you. His body shook with pleasure, whimpers falling against your lips as you attempted to catch your breath. To come back down from the intensity of the evening.

Savoring in the closeness for now. For now. 

The train ride back into the city was incredibly peaceful. You sat next to Josh the entire ride home, head resting on his shoulder, drifting in and out of sleep after he whispered to you that it was too late to be up and to rest. 

So, you did. At one point, his own head rested on your own, his warm cheek pressed against the crown of your head, his breath spanning across the top of your hair. When you woke up and saw both of your fingers entangled together, you almost didn’t want to reclaim your own hand. It felt right. 

It shouldn’t have.

That’s why the moment you stepped off the train, it was a sense of dread sitting heavy on you. It was like everything and anything that could have changed, did. Stepping towards your hotel room door, Josh’s hand gripped your waist, spinning you back towards him and colliding his lips with yours.

You didn’t fight, argue, try to stop it. Sinking into it, him. Letting your lips mesh together in a way that was a sense of comfort and security. Him letting you know that this was where you were meant to be. Something you had never felt before. You didn’t want to feel it. You couldn’t. 

That’s why when you two separated, him going into his room and you yours, you laid flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Tears slowly trickled from the corners of your eyes, hand clamping down over your mouth to silence any noise that could have been coming from you. 

You had known it from the minute you had seen him. It was going to end poorly. If you were anything other than extremely professional, setting firm boundaries, not allowing him any way in, it was going to end up a complete shit storm.

It was on the horizon. The gorgeous skies that seemed as though they were hand painted by the most talented artist you had ever seen before the black clouds would roll in, wreaking havoc on anything in its way. You were slowly watching it morph and change the aura around you. 

He had captivated you, drawn you in so quickly. The most interesting being you had ever encountered. Wickedly talented beyond measure. A careful and caring being, wanting to cause no harm, only leaving a trail of happiness and good behind him. He did. 

Staying away from him and the true being he was, was torture. He wanted to know you, see you, embrace you. Love you. You could feel it, see it in his eyes. The way he admired you, gazed at you, he just didn’t want to frighten you off. 

This had to be the only encounter that you experienced with him. Anything more would mangle and wreck you both. This was already going too far too fast. 

Hearing and feeling the vibrations of your phone, you tried to ignore it given the incredibly late hour, but decided that if it was work related you needed to answer. Grabbing the device and seeing your moms photo filling up the screen you groaned, knowing you were in no condition to speak with her, but remembering that it was a rare chance when you could actually talk to her. 

“Hi mom!” You tried to sound as cheery as you could, knowing your mom bought it when her chipper voice echoed out into the room. “My birdie girl! How is my little globetrotter? Are you working hard? Have you been eating? What time is it there? Are you supposed to be sleeping right now?” She left little room between her sentences to give an actual response, but as you answered her plethora of questions, you felt your chest growing tighter, knowing that morning was growing closer and closer. 

You made a decision that night. Carry on like normal. Act like nothing had happened and continue on with life, living like one of the best nights of your life had actually never occurred. A figment of your imagination. No matter how bad it hurts. 

He was waiting for you the next morning, bright and early knowing you were going to go for a little walk. It scared the ever loving shit out of you, jumping nearly ten feet in the air. “Jesus! You have got to stop doing that,” you chuckled, hand landing over your heart.

“Apologies. I was just thrilled to see you this fine morning,” and he truly looked as though he was. His eyes were slightly hooded as he peered at you. Cheeks a light pink. Hair somewhat smoothed down, but still a disheveled mess. Same outfit adorned as always. 

Your pulse was a million miles a minute as the smell of his cologne flooded your senses. Needing to nip this in the bud and quickly, you spoke up. “That’s very nice of you, Mr. Kiszka. I should be back around eleven this morning. If you need anything in the meantime please feel free to text me.” Offering as pleasant of a smile as you could, you watched as he rolled his eyes.

“I thought we were past that.” Your brows quirked, trying to play the part of not understanding why the nature of your relationship would have changed. “Mr. Kiszka, with all due respect, you are still my boss. What happened last night was out of line for both of us and I think that we should act as though it didn’t happen. Please.” 

Your eyes held his stare, seeing the expression of bewilderment take over his features. “Are you joking?” Shaking your head, he moved away from you, staring as though you had scorned him. Perhaps you had. “I thought-I thought that we had made some serious progress yesterday. That we were moving in a better direction for us,” his hand moved between you two. 

You fought the nerves vibrating in you as you stood strong. “I apologize if that’s the message I displayed to you yesterday, but no. I would prefer if we could remain the same. Strictly professional.” His jaw hung slack, eyes growing wider at your words.

His hands rubbed at his eyes, a harsh laugh escaping his lips. “This has got to be some sort of fucking joke. Birdie, I cannot just forget what happened yesterday!” You winced at his tone, hearing the intensity setting in it. “I know it meant a lot for you, too. Don’t pretend like it didn’t.” 

He was reading you and he was doing it well. Sighing, despite every instinct in you screaming to just fall into it, let it happen between you two, you continued to hold strong. “No. I apologize for letting things get too far.” 

Staring at you in utter disbelief, every emotion displayed across his face. “So that’s it? Not even friends?” Hesitating, only briefly, you shook your head. He wasted no time, pushing past you and going back into his hotel room.  

The rest of the day was spent miserable alone. Wandering the streets until eleven, just as you had stated, was unenjoyable. Your mind was rushing, wondering if any chance of a normal relationship with him had gone out the window. 

Regret. 

Standing in the lobby the next morning, you were exhausted. Hardly having slept the night before didn’t matter when you needed to work. Waiting for the group to emerge with their own luggage in tow, ready to head to the next location. It was best to use one of the free days for a travel day. It got you there sooner and gave you an extra day to explore a new place. 

They were easy to spot and hear, their own assistants and other tour employees following in tow. You offered a tight lip smile, clutching your planner to your chest, breath stuttering in your throat. You had to do this. 

It was the only thing that would make this work. Stick to the plan. Don’t give up. It’ll go back to how it was. 

“Good morning, Mr. Kiszka. I have already emailed you the travel itinerary for the day, there is a coffee waiting for you in the van, and I did find you an extra phone charger since your last one was left behind.” A light joking tone came with your words, but as you spoke, Josh’s smile diminished the second he laid eyes on you.

This wasn’t what he was expecting. At all. Despite you having agreed that calling him by his first name was just for the lone day, he thought that after what had happened, you would continue to do it. That the cold and steely demeanor you had been using with him since the start was cracked and gone. He felt stupid. Used. 

Wrecked that what progress he had thought he had made with you would bring some sense of change. That you would feel more comfortable with him. Possibly even returning the feelings he had been fostering and harboring for you. Ridiculous. 

Only murmuring a thank you under his breath, he walked away from you quickly and towards the van. You sighed, eyes briefly closing as your thoughts swirled in your head. 

This was for the best. He’d get over it.

Turns out that Josh holds a grudge a lot better than you assumed he would. For such a cheery and pleasant person, you truly didn’t expect him to continue to practically give you the silent treatment for weeks. He refused to hold eye contact with you, only spoke to you for pressing work matters, the whole shebang. 

Thinking that this would make it easier, better even. Him only giving what you did on a daily basis. It was the total opposite. It was miserable. You dreaded getting up in the morning and having to deal with work matters. 

The following few weeks, you were at the lowest you had ever felt. Never having had a close relationship with a boss before, let alone what you two had done and said to one another, proved that your way of handling and dealing with things was the only way to make things work. Don’t get close. You’ll only get burned in the process.

Everyone else had noticed the shift between you two as well. Jake had tried bringing it up with his twin, but immediately was shut down. He relayed the message to the others not to bring it up, whatever had happened obviously still too raw to handle. No one enjoyed being around a grumpy Josh anyways. 

He would transform into a truly awful person to be around on a daily basis. His normal patient, wondrous, and joyous persona would disappear and morph into one of the complete opposite. Locking himself away in the various hotel rooms, bus bunk bed, not wanting to see or speak to anyone. No performance he gave good enough or to the impossible standards he was holding himself too. 

It wasn’t good.

That’s why when you were sitting at a desk in a hotel lobby, battling an airline over a ticket mixup, the spitting image of your boss in another life sat across from you, you knew what it was about. Hanging up the phone call with a sigh, you tried to force a smile on your depleted and tired features. 

“Mr. Kiszka, what can I do for you?” He removed his sunglasses, sitting them on the tabletop next to his resting arm and peered at you. “For starters, you can fix my brother.” Going to speak, he held up his hand, shaking his head. “Look, I don’t need all the details. All I know is that something happened between you two. It needs to be repaired because the way you two are trying to carry on is not cohesive for either of you. Just try and fix it.” 

Eyes falling downcast, you felt the weight of the situation sinking further onto you. “What if I say I don’t know if it can be,” Jake shrugged that off like it was silly to even suggest or think. “He likes you. In more than one way, which I’m sure is the root of this, but it’ll be fine. Talk to him. Josh, he-” taking a moment, rolling his eyes as well, he continued on, “likes to talk. Talk to him and get it worked out.” 

Standing outside of his hotel room, trying to muster up the courage to just knock, you were quite literally spinning in circles. Turning on your heel over and over, attempting to psych yourself up to just do it. 

Knock on the door.

The decision was made for you as it flew open as you lifted your hand to connect with the wood. A confused Josh stood on the other side, dressed like he was going to be going out. Instantly being able to tell you needed him for something. For what? That he didn’t know. 

“I thought we finished work at three today?” He asked, checking his phone for the time. It was far past that time. Shaking your head, you decided against what you were going to do. “Oh no, I apologize. It was for something else, but I see that you’re busy and heading out. We can do it later,” turning around to go across the hall to your own room, he still stood in the door frame.

He could easily tell how nervous you were. You didn’t hide your nerves well. Gnawing on your cheek, eyes constantly darting around, hands unable to remain still. It screamed at whoever you were projecting it to. In this case, Josh.

“No, no. I was just going to grab a drink.” Gulping, you began talking quickly. “Oh okay. I just wanted a quick second in private if you don’t mind. I don’t want to be a bother during your free time though so if you’d rather wait that’s totally fine, I understand.” His eyes slightly widened at your hastened words, holding his door open farther, a welcome to you to enter. 

You stepped in, seeing that the room was nearly spotless. Given, you had just checked in this afternoon, but still. You didn’t want to touch anything. Encroach on his personal space. Instead, you stood to the side, hands folded with themselves, trying not to look directly at him.

Observing you from his own spot, he was uneasy. Josh doesn’t do confrontations. Despite how much he enjoys talking and listening to others talk, he despises it when it’s negative. This wasn’t going to go well. He could just tell. 

“I would like to hand in my resignation, Mr. Kiszka.” 

He thought he was going to fall over. Out of every possibility, every scenario that could have happened. This is not what he was expecting. At all. Entirely floored, staring straight at you with his jaw slack, he started shaking his head. 

“No. Absolutely not. You can’t.” You had never felt such dread when quitting a position before. Normally, they were exciting. On your way to the next best thing. This was different. It was the best job you’d ever had with the best boss you’d ever had. 

It was killing you. 

“I think this is for the best. I can be around for as long as necessary until you can find a replacement and I will train them if needed.” Josh sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, rubbing at his face. “We never should’ve slept together. Everything was going great. God, I regret that.” 

He wasn’t expecting your laugh to echo in the room. Snapping his head up at you, he was greeted with your smile and accompanying laugh. “I don’t. It was amazing. The entire reason I’m handing in my resignation is because I cannot continue to do my job and be in love with my boss.”

Watching as his face went blank as you continued talking, you had no idea what he was actually thinking. Since he was a person who wears their emotions on their face, when he went emotionless like this, it was even more nerve wracking. 

Uncharted territory. 

“I have fought it since we met. Seriously, the moment I saw you I knew this was going to be trouble. The more I got to know you, the more I fell for you. Keeping my professionalism and decorum has been so damn difficult because of you. And-and then we had that day together and it was incredible. I love you, Josh and I cannot keep working for you while I feel like this. It just can’t work because-” you didn’t get to finish before Josh was propelled up from his spot, hands cupping your cheeks as he pulled you to him.

Lips connecting in a messy and needy encounter, pawing at one another to get as close as possible. This wasn’t like the last time. This was desperate, angry, and resentful. Apologetic. 

Hardly finishing undressing before he was in you, hopelessly pounding you into the mattress below him. Unrelenting, a pace that knocked the wind out of you with every thrust. Unable to think about anything else other than Josh, Josh, Josh. 

He became your entire being at that time. Only allowing your thoughts to be riddled with him. No other noise allowed except his name falling from you like a prayer. 

How could you think of anything else when the man that was Josh was around. How stupid.

When you both had finished, his hands released their punishing grip on you. His fingertips left indents in your skin, sweat beginning to pool on his brow. Instead, his lips landed on each mark he had left on you. A searing memory of him. 

One you wouldn’t forget for a long, long time. 

Not wanting to break the peace that sat over the room. Too much left unsaid, but not willing to jump in right away. Wanting to bask in the comfort that followed him like a security blanket. 

Instead, you stared at Josh from the spot next to him in bed, you smiled at him. “I really do have to quit, Josh.” You finally spoke, wanting to establish some sort of boundary before moving forward together. 

He shrugged you off like you were batshit crazy for even suggesting that. A hint of mischief entered his eye before shrugging. 

“Not even on the table. Forbidden love. It’s totally hot. Let’s see how much we can get away with before people notice,” your laughter shook your body as Josh leaned down over you, connecting your lips together as laughter flowed between you both.

Being bad sounded like fun. As long as Josh was by your side to do it, it would always be fine. 

[fleet-of-fiction]

Josh Kiszka // Female Reader

Summary: A chance encounter in the kitchen in the middle of the night turns your insomnia into an erotic feast.

Warnings: 100% smut. Oral. Use of food in sex.

The kitchen light flickered on softly. You lift your head up from your book, spoon lilting softly on your bottom lip as you linger on the taste of chocolate ice cream.

Josh is standing in the hallway, his finger poised on the light switch. Bed curls tumbled around his forehead as he rubbed his tired eyes with his other hand. His belly moving against his breath, the little V shape of his waist sitting snugly against the band of his underwear. Your eyes were immediately drawn to it as he realised you were sitting there in only the black lace panties he'd gifted you last birthday.

"You can't sleep?" He asks, the dreamy rasp in his voice commanding all your attention.

You slide your book aside. Leaning up to stretch lazily, you watch him pad his way over to you on bare feet. He smells like fresh linen as he swirls the bar stool you're perched on around.

"Something like that." You reply, slipping your spoon into the half empty tub of ben & jerry's.

Josh pulls you in lithely, bringing your breasts to the skin of his chest. Your arms tangle familiarly around his neck. He takes a moment to breathe you in, his hands on the small of your back sending shivers down your spine.

"Are you cold, Mama?" He asks, feeling your body shudder against his. "You eaten too much ice cream?"

He knows how your body reacts to him. He's always known. The way his touch brought you to a place you'd never reached with any other. With Josh, there was never a time when you'd ever welcomed him into your arms and not felt as if electricity coursed through your veins.

"There's no such thing as too much." You teased, bringing the spoon from the tub to his waiting mouth.

He took the ice cream gratefully, keeping his mouth open as you crush yours against his. You taste him and the ice cream, his tongue moving the chocolate into your mouth and turning your kiss into a dark mess. A quiet moan escapes your chocolate covered lips and his tongue probes further.

The bar stool allows you to meet his waist at perfect symmetry. Your open legs shimmy to the edge, feeling his growing manhood behind his strained underwear.

Those brown eyes are so serious as he looks you over. That vacant stare that was full of secrets had been the one which had reeled you in. Purposefully undressing you with them, tangibly calling to you to respond over a crowd of faceless bodies that had stood between you.

Perhaps it was the intensity of that look which kept you bound to him? Perhaps it was the way that he loved you so effortlessly in the transpiring months since that first night? Josh was an enigma. You were still discovering him, and it seemed as if every new discovery was more delicious than the first.

"Tastes so fucking good." He murmurs, taking your chin in his hand as he lifts your face up to inspect the mess around your lips.

He moves your head slowly from left to right, a look of satisfaction building in the way the corner of his smile turns upward.

"Yeah?" You clarify, letting him play with your mouth as he licks the residue from your bottom lip.

You run the tip of your finger through his moustache, where the ice cream has melted into the fine, coarse hairs. There's a playful edge to it as you giggle, and he falls into a shared laughter as you nestle your face into the nape of his neck.

"Don't you be getting all soft on me." His voice is low, urging you to cease the playful edge to your touch.

Josh had sensed your willingness to comply almost immediately. As if his burning intensity hadn't drawn you to him, it had been the way you threw your head back when you laughed which had brought him to you. And when he asked you to settle into a serenity with him, you held his hand and walked into that space with him so willingly.

"Soft?" You look him dead in the eye. "Soft, like this?"

His pupils dilate as you fill your mouth with ice cream and slink off the bar stool in one fluid move, your hands sliding down his body until your knees land on the cool tiled floor. Fingertips pull at his waist band, pulling down his underwear to reveal a hardness that springs free and rests against your flushed cheek.

You feel that hand at your chin again, tilting it up so that he can see your intention. The ice cream melts slowly in your warm mouth and he puts pressure on your jaw to open up. He nods slowly at the sight of it there, melting on your tongue as he angles himself perfectly against your opening. You feel his tip graze your lips as he sinks inside your mouth, the taste of his skin and the ice cream as you swallow.

"Sweet...fuck!" He hisses, "Shit, baby that's so fucking good!"

The way he speaks, so candidly and in a way only you get to hear, it makes your stomach churn with an anticipation that makes your clit begin to throb almost immediately. His voice is like velvet, sweet to you in the cold light of day. Speaking only words of love and affirmation. But in the middle of the night, he would speak in demonic tones that left your legs weak after the fucking he described to you first.

"Take it all the way back, just like that Mama..." He guides, taking care to hold your chin steady as you open wider.

His cock is throbbing, you can feel it in the veins as his blood pulsated through it and against the inside of your mouth. You still found yourself admiring it, the thickness of it, any time the opportunity presented itself. He liked the way you looked at it, marvelling at your eagerness to have it.

Sweet Josh, who he was in those moments which were littered with love and affection, could never have imagined having you like this. You had brought yourself to his attention with your effortless smile, the moment he realised you were sexually compliant it had been as if his love had known no limits. You were hooked. And he, without apology, was yours completely.

"You look so fucking beautiful like that." He told you, his eyes half shut as he rocked into your mouth.

You wanted to speak. You felt the words you wanted to say lose themselves as you lapped the flat of your tongue against his length. When you could no longer taste the ice cream, he pulled out and watched your swollen lips all pink and wet try to recover. He wiped his thumb across your mouth and marvelled at the sight of you down on the floor.

"Josh..." You said in whisper, rising from the hard cold tiles.

He hushed you before you could say whatever it was you'd intended to say. Lifting you effortlessly onto the kitchen counter, hooking fingers around the elastic of your panties.

"Josh, please..." You beg. "Let me tell you how I want it?"

He raises a speculative eyebrow as he tosses your panties aside, leaning in with sculpted arms on either side of you.

"Ok, Mama." He acquiesces. "Tell me a story."

You're his little pet in moments like that. He looks at you with eyes that could devour you whilst waiting for you to say sweet things to him. He rakes a hand through your hair and down your cheek. As if in that you're moment you are innocent of the thing you had just done. You like it, though.

"I want you to put that pretty mouth on my pussy." You say, trying to keep your voice sweet and feminine.

Your fingertip runs across his moustache and down the hair which lines his chin, hiding the little dimple there.

"And then I want you to start fucking singing on it." You add, circling for him to start opening his mouth.

Josh's eyes move down the length of your body. You move your fingers away from his mouth and start kissing him, the tip of your tongue searching for his. His breath warm and heavy in your mouth, almost as if he's held it and is breathing again for the first time.

"I want you to lick inside me." You manage between kisses, "Swallow my wetness and let me cum on your mouth before you fuck me."

Your attention is diverted back to his facial hair. "I wanna see this glistening, baby. All of it."

He doesn't wait to placate you. To tell you how your words fired him up. Your back is immediately on the kitchen work top, cool and hard like the floor tiles. Knees pushed up to the counter edge, his head between your thighs without warning. You lift your head to watch his curls move as he licks up your slit, taking in how he lays his head on your thigh and grips your waist to drag you to him deeper.

"Shit, Josh..." You moan, "Damn, baby. So fucking good..."

He's moaning too. A literal melody on your aching clit, the vibrations of his tongue reminiscent of the way you'd seen him hit those high notes on stage. You can't help but take a fist of his hair, forcing his mouth into you further. You feel his tongue inside your opening, doing exactly as he was told.

"You're so fucking good to me." You pant, trying to keep yourself from the orgasm that was building in the pit of your stomach.

Of all the things you had discovered about Josh, your favourite was the way your joy was his. He took delight in doing your bidding. Feeling your warm, wet pussy against his mouth was in turn, making his cock leak all over his inner thigh.

In the midst of your writhing on the kitchen counter, you hadn't noticed him reach for the ice cream. A sudden hit of chill courses between your legs as you realise his mouth is full of it, licking it into you and tasting both you and the chocolate. He takes you over the edge, sliding a finger into you to fuck you quick as you cum.

"Holy shit, are you insane?!" You laugh, feeling your body vibrate against the hot and cold sensations.

Josh is wiping the back of his hand against his mouth, a smug grin resonating.

"Do I get to fuck you now, Mama?" He asks prudently, admiring the sheen across your skin.

You slide to the edge of the counter, making sure to keep his gaze on your opening.

"Sure thing." You purr, pulling him into you. "Enough with the ice cream though. I want the main course."

He laughs at you, an almost silent breathy sound as he buries his face between your breasts and kisses the curve of them.

That night was never meant for sleep.

.

.

.

@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon y @char289 @dancingcarbon @gvfpal @violetstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @jazzyfigz @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire

[lipstickitty]

*all work is my own, and all 100% fiction. Everything is 18+ only, no minors allowed!! you will be blocked!!**

I Wanna Be Yours

18+ ONLY minors DNI!!!

Jake Kiszka x fem demon!reader

Warnings: this is filthy lmao, I’ll put more specific warnings before each chapter but absolutely let me know if I’ve missed any!

I’m updating as frequently as I can, let me know if you’d like to be tagged! 🫶🏻

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Standalone/blurbs

Crybaby

(Josh Kiszka x f!reader)

Josh blurb

(Josh Kiszka x reader)

Twisted Up In You

(Danny Wagner x f!reader)

Collaborations with @gracev0609

Between the Two of You

(Jake Kiszka x Chris Turpin x reader)

Between the Two of You- Pt. 2

(Jake Kiszka x Chris Turpin x reader)

Need You Close

(Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner)

Need You Close- Pt. 2

(Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner)

Need You Close- Pt. 3

(Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner)

Need You Close- Pt. 4

(Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner)

Get Your Blood Pumping

(Gym Josh x reader)

For the Fans

(OnlyFans Danny)

Dirty Love

(Josh x Danny angst)

Love Blooms

(Kindergarten teacher AU, Josh x female OC)

Whatever You Need

(Danny x reader)

On the Rocks

(Heavily tattooed/pierced Danny x reader)

Success & Sacrifice

(Blood magic Josh)

Peaches & Cream

(Roommate Danny x reader)

[stardustvanfleet]

Merry Christmas To You — Josh Kiszka x Reader (Fluff)

PAIRING: Josh Kiszka x F!Reader, Fluff

WORDS: 2.2k

SUMMARY: It's a snowy night in early December, and you and your boyfriend Josh are having a cozy night in, decorating your tree. When he puts one of his favorite classic Christmas albums on, the evening becomes even more romantic thanks to an impromptu serenade.

WARNINGS: None beyond kissing, language, mention of alcohol, and minor flirtatious innuendo.

A/N: Happy holidays and Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you enjoy this incredibly cozy and sugary sweet festive fluff. I had hoped to get this out a bit earlier in the month, but between working two jobs and preparing for the holidays it took a bit longer than expected, so thank you all so much for bearing with me during this time of year that is so damn hectic!!! Some special thanks here go to my loves @sinsofstardust and @losfacedevil for beta reading and being endless sources of both inspiration and love-- I adore y'all!!! I hope you all have a very happy holiday ❤️

FIC BEGINS BELOW THE CUT!

//

It was one of those December nights that you wished you could live in forever. Dusk had fallen early, and a light snow was falling outside; the soft, downy flakes catching in the light of the streetlamps as they tumbled gently towards the ground. For the first time in your new apartment, the one that you and your boyfriend Josh had moved into together just a few months earlier, the view through your window panes was truly beginning to resemble a Christmas card.

You took a sip from your mug of cocoa, which had been generously spiked with Bailey’s, but still tasted dangerously sweet. Turning over your shoulder with a grin, you caught Josh’s eye as he entered the living room with his own mug, steaming hot and piled high with whipped cream. You couldn’t help but feel your heart swell when you saw him— looking so handsome in one of his cozy white sweaters, his curls framing his face so beautifully, it was inevitable that he still gave you butterflies after all this time. 

“Josh, come watch the snow with me, love,” you giggled, curled up on your couch, which was pushed up right up against the largest window in the living room— it had been a perfect spot for watching the leaves change color and eventually fall to the ground, and now it provided an exceptional view of the picturesque wintery scene outdoors. His grin was infectious as he looked over towards the window and mused, crossing the room towards you, “How about that? It looks like we’ve got a winter wonderland on our hands…” reaching the couch rather quickly and setting his mug down on the coffee table.

 He slid in right next to you, his arms immediately wrapping around your waist as he moved to press affectionate kisses to your cheek, one after another, not seeming to want to stop as long as he had you giggling under him.  Finally, you pleaded through your laughter, “Joshy… I don’t see you watching the snow!” as he gave a chuckle of his own and teased, “Ohh, sorry about that, mama… you know how distracted I can get…”

You captured his chin between your fingers with another giggle, feeling heat rising in your cheeks at his use of the pet name which he knew always made you weak in the knees. “Seems particularly easy to get distracted around here….” you replied playfully, before pulling him in and kissing him fully, your heart fluttering at the satisfied sigh he let out against your lips. It was all so endearing, from the softness of his lips to the familiarity of his scent, which was spicy and comforting and floral all at once. There may have been a chill in the air that day, but in the warmth of Josh’s arms, with his lips against yours… despite the weather, it was undeniable— you were melting.

It would have been so easy to get entirely lost in the kiss, but he began to smile against your lips, and pulled back gently, offering you a cheeky smile as he teased back, “Careful, or I’ll get distracted enough that we’ll have to push decorating the tree to another night…” his words making you giggle and lightly, jokingly smack at his arm, chiding, “Joshua… you’re gonna end up on the naughty list….” giving him another quick kiss and a grin before wriggling out of his grasp to rise from the couch towards the large box of ornaments sitting beside the coffee table.

“Hold on, angel…” Josh said, standing up himself as you paused, turning to face him with a smile. He was looking at you with a twinkle in his eye while heading towards the record player set up beside the bookshelf, continuing, “Is it really Christmas if we don’t have the perfect soundtrack?” You watched with amusement as he crouched down to rifle through the large record collection that the two of you had assembled, a wide grin breaking out on his face when he found what he was looking for. “Nat King Cole,” he said with satisfaction, “...now, there’s a reason his middle name is King. And, well… okay, so it’s two reasons. The first reason is that it’s his name, naturally, but there’s also another reason… the big reason, the important one. And it’s that he’s the King of Christmas. it’s just that simple…” 

You found yourself giggling with affection as your boyfriend rambled on; it was one of the many little things about Josh that had made you fall in love with him. As he spoke, he stood from his crouching position to place the record on the turntable and lower the needle, and the cozy tones of Deck the Halls began to play in the living room— Josh’s handsome face illuminated only by the flickering light of the fireplace and the warm golden glow of the lights already set up on your Christmas tree. The light danced across his delicate features as he rose to walk towards you and the box of ornaments, and he offered another grin, asking, “Shall we get this decorating soiree started?”

You laughed again, unable to deny the way his turn of phrase and distinct mannerisms made you feel with your heart fluttering so distinctly in your chest. When at last he reached you and began rummaging through the box of ornaments, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. When he finally looked up to meet your gaze with a knowing half-smile, you tenderly leaned in to kiss him gently once more, before pulling back and replying, “Okay, now we shall,” which elicited a laugh from the man in front of you, his warm brown eyes sparkling in the low light as he replied, “A very important final step before we get started… my darlin’ is so thorough.” You giggled breathlessly at the affectionate nickname, taking his hand inside the box of ornaments and giving it a squeeze. 

Together, you began picking out ornaments and hanging them on the tree, from sparkling white crystal snowflakes and pinecones, to small figurines of ice skaters and Santa Claus, to childhood photos of the two of you in tiny silver frames— Josh insisted that those should be hung up beside each other, saying definitively, “I’ll need you to keep me company up there!” 

Between his jokes and your responses, Nat King Cole’s voice served as a backdrop, his gentle crooning making the room feel cozy and festive beyond belief. The reflection of the Christmas lights were twinkling in Josh’s eyes as he stole glances at you while you both hung ornaments on the tree at once, his hand coming to wrap around your waist for a stolen moment as he headed back towards the box to grab his next ornament of choice. Your heart stuttered deep within your chest, beginning to pick up its pace at Josh’s loving looks and touches.

It was when Josh’s favorite Christmas carol began, however, that he really began to focus his attention on you. The familiar swell of strings marked the beginning of Nat King Cole’s rendition of The Christmas Song, and as Josh crossed back towards you to hang a silver bell on the tree, he caught your eye with a smile, before beginning to sing along with the record. “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” You felt heat immediately beginning to rise in your cheeks as a look of joy appeared on your face. Nothing made you melt more than Josh’s voice. “Jack Frost nipping at your nose…” He gave you an affectionate smile while singing the lyrics, reaching out to tap the end of your nose with his fingertip at the end of the line, which made you giggle wildly. You reached up to grab his hand and pull it to your lips, pressing little kisses to his knuckles as he continued singing along. You were mesmerized, unable to tear your gaze away from him even if you wanted to. Everything about Josh was enough to light up a room, but whenever he decided on performing for you, even in the comfort of your own home— it was still always utterly captivating. He was breathtakingly talented, and unfathomably beautiful.

Gently, tenderly, Josh’s hand fell to your waist while he continued the song, the words flowing as smoothly and sweetly as honey. “Everybody knows… a turkey and some mistletoe… help to make the season bright…” He was beginning to sway you along to the music, and you were letting him— lost entirely in his voice, his loving touch, his gaze, in this moment that was beginning to feel dizzying in its domesticity. By the time the song reached its instrumental interlude, the two of you were slow dancing in the living room— your head coming to rest on Josh’s shoulder, face buried in his neck as he held you close, sweeping you around the room in slow circles to the piano instrumental. He was so warm, and you could feel the soft rise and fall of his breaths through the cozy knit fabric of his sweater. When you finally lifted your head to meet his eyes for the final chorus, the love you were feeling for him was almost overwhelming.

“And so, I’m offering this simple phrase… for kids from one to ninety-two…” Josh paused in his serenade for a moment to bring his free hand to cup your face, stroking his thumb across your cheekbone as he smiled at you with undeniable affection. “And though it’s been said, many times, many ways… Merry Christmas… to you…”

You knew you were looking at him like he had hung the moon in the sky for you… but, frankly, with the adoration in his eyes, it almost seemed like he’d truly have been willing to try. As the song reached its conclusion, you leaned in without even needing to think, capturing his lips so lovingly and passionately that Josh let out a soft sigh against your lips, struck by surprise and delight. You found yourself lost in him, lost in your feelings, as you melted entirely in his arms, his hand still cupping your cheek and jaw with unmistakable tenderness. By the time you two finally allowed your lips to separate, the next song had already been playing for what had surely been over a minute. After a breathless moment of collecting yourself that must’ve taken a few seconds, you managed to let your eyes flutter open, only to see Josh opening his eyes at nearly the exact same time— the sight making you giggle, your heart skipping a beat within your chest.

“Your voice is unbelievable,” you murmured, reaching your own hand over to cup his cheek in return, which prompted him to lean into your touch so effortlessly and subconsciously. Instantly, even in the low light, you could tell the compliment was making him blush, with his cheeks and the tip of his nose flushing a rosy red under your touch as he averted his gaze shyly, letting out a bashful, “Oh, god… Thank you… I think you’re unbelievable.” A smile crossed your face as he paused for a moment, blinking at you as if in thought before continuing, looking at you so lovingly, “I’m so happy we get to make Christmas memories in a place all our own this year, angel… you’re home to me, lover. You make it feel like Christmas.”

Truly, you couldn’t have said it better yourself. 

The moment was breathtaking. Josh’s words, his eyes, the glow of the Christmas tree and the crackling of the fire… everything was so perfect. Your smile, at this point, was entirely out of your control— you wouldn’t have been able to stop even if you had wanted to try. Words failed you for a moment as emotions swirled like snowflakes within you. “Oh, Josh… I love you so much.”

He was grinning at you, and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. When he spoke again, you could hear the affection in his voice. “I love you so much, darlin’. I’d lasso the moon for you.”

His reference to It’s A Wonderful Life made your smile widen even further—- something you had previously doubted was even possible. Your head was spinning a little from his romantic words, and when you finally managed to speak again between shy giggles, you teased, “You’re too smooth for your own good… but it is a wonderful life, Josh, because I’ve got you.”

Josh laughed a little, breathlessly, the rosiness of his cheeks still so endearing. You couldn’t resist any longer, closing the distance between the two of you and kissing him, so deeply and passionately that he almost faltered on his feet for a moment, his grip tightening on you to steady himself— and perhaps from a desire to be even closer to you.

When you finally pulled back, the Nat King Cole record still softly playing and your tree sparkling behind you, the two of you once again took a moment before opening your eyes. You found yourself lost in Josh’s warm embrace, the scent of him, the feeling of his heartbeat against yours. You were all his, and he was all yours. And this was only the beginning.

The words left your lips in a whisper, affectionate and gentle. “Merry Christmas, Josh.”

He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Merry Christmas, angel.”

//

A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone! If you enjoyed this, you can find my masterlist here and be added to my taglist here.

TAGLIST: @sinsofstardust @jakesguitarsolo @losfacedevil @sparrowofthedawnsworld @gold-mines-melting @texas-bbq-pringles @mountain-in-springtime @alwaysonthemend @tripthelightfatality @tommie-gvf @second-suns @runwayblues @shutupdevvie @godly-sinsx @sacredjake @ignite-my-fire @kiska-enthusiast @songbirds-sweet @rhythm-of-space @hsfallingsky @the-starcatcher @kenobicoffee @earthlysorrows @zm-gvf

[abeautylives]

Times I Remember Well

(and Some That I Don’t)

Part 1

author’s note: I’m really excited to have something to share with you guys. It’s written from a diff POV than I usually do, but my main character girly pop has a lot of personality 😘 Big big big thank you to bff @samkiszkasfacialhair for all the help, the ideas, and the motivation 🤍

pairing: female!OCxkiszkas (just read it, you’ll figure it out)

time frame: 2010-2014

word count: 5.7k this part

warnings: language, illicit substance use, rampant teenage emotions and delulu, kissing, josh 🥺

I don’t actually remember the day I met Sam Kiszka.

Not the date, or even the day of the week. I do know what year it was, because it was the year my mom moved us to this quaint (read: weird) little town. Charming, but weird. And boring.

Boring, until I met Sam.

Eleven-year-old Sam was a menace, but twelve-year-old me was bored. So obviously, we became the best of friends. He taught me how to light a firecracker, I had an endless supply of Barbies to blow up. He showed me how to slip out of my bedroom window without making a sound, I told him how to impress girls without grossing them out. In our early teenage years, he introduced me to drugs and I taught him how to unclasp a bra. Chill out, it was weed, and I wasn’t even wearing the bra.

My mom just loved that I’d made such a great friend.

The first time I was allowed to play at his house I met his sister, who was closer to my age, but it was too late. Sam and I were already attached at the hip, though mine sat an inch or two higher than his for a couple of years, until a growth spurt and puberty eventually left him with the height advantage.

That was when he stopped calling me by my name, and started calling me Tiny. Like I said, a menace.

“You’re the coolest girl I know, even if you’re vertically challenged.”

Please note: the first time he said this to me, he had finally just surpassed me in height by half an inch.

Then of course, there were the twins. You’d think the eldest siblings would not have become a big part of my life, but they were just always around, and actually liked hanging out with their baby brother. Close knit family and all that. It’s weird, right? At the wise and worldly age of twelve, the two fourteen-year-olds terrified me. Josh and Jake were both scary in their own way to a pubescent girl on the cusp of teenager-dom. Jake was pretty quiet, but his ego was not. He was hot, okay? In like, a Justin Bieber-y way but also kind of a jock-y way, but a jock with a guitar. Whatever, I’m only human.

Josh was… well, Josh was Josh. Unlike anyone else I’d ever met, and not necessarily in a good way. He was loud, like, all the time. He never seemed to stop talking and ended most of his sentences at an eardrum-piercing decibel level. Fortunately, or not, he didn’t get hot until I was old enough to obsess over it.

I’m sure I didn’t speak a coherent word to either of them the entire first year of my friendship with Sam.

I have a million memories of the time I spent with Sam and his family, but I have no recollection of the day I fell in love with Josh Kiszka.

But once I did, it was a deep, obsessive kind of love that only a teenager can achieve. One day he was my best friend’s eccentric older brother and the next…

Well, the next he was a rockstar.

I mentioned the whole jock with a guitar thing that Jake had going on, and that really hadn’t changed, but somewhere along the way Josh had transformed from a loud, annoying theater kid to a genuine, full blown vocalist. I mean, for a while he was both.

When they first started playing together, I only gave a shit because they’d roped Sam into it too and it took up way too much of his time. I’d watch them play, and they weren’t… bad? They weren’t good either. My time could have been better spent watching R rated movies (scandalous) or, I don’t know, doing my homework. But nope! We were in a band now.

They practiced, a lot. It felt like all they did was practice, for at least a couple years. And I just watched dutifully, every weekend of every month of every year. They did get better.

But here’s the thing. I was there for all of it. I was there the day Jake ran into the living room and snatched Sam up by the back of his shirt. Come on Sammy boy, we need you on bass. I was there the day their buddy Kyle sat down at the drum kit and completed the ensemble. (I was also there the day he got replaced.) And of course, I was there the day Josh pushed his voice past the instruments and the amps, and went from a weak imitation of a rock singer to something else all together. Something totally and completely him.

That’s not the day I fell in love with him (I would’ve remembered), but it was the first time he had ever… impressed me. And not that I cared, but Jake was impressed too. I saw it on his face.

It was cute. In like, a sweet, brotherly way.

Okay, anyway! The combination of Jake’s skill and Josh’s raw talent got them noticed. (Sammy’s talent would develop over time, I didn’t forget about him. Sam, you’re the most talented one in the band.) And then they were playing actual gigs. I wasn’t allowed to go to most of those early ones, because for some reason these dive bars were permitting these pint sized, teenage Zeppelin wannabes to perform at them. Old people like our parents loved that shit. The locals went crazy for it.

They played Fischer Hall a couple times, right there in town, but around their third or fourth gig there, Josh had unbuttoned the flowy, floral, women’s blouse he was wearing and took to the stage with it hanging open, beaded necklaces draped down his bare chest and curly hair wild.

Why was he sort of… ripped? How had I never noticed? Were his pants always so tight? And low cut? I was sweating. I didn’t even know he was literally cosplaying Robert Plant.

Did I fall in love with him that night? Of course not, I already told you I don’t remember the day that happened.

The Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I left my house around 8:30 to head to Sam’s. To my mom, this was an average Saturday night - I spent nearly all of them at Sam’s house, where his parents were always home. Ya know, or so mine thought. Whether the Kiszkas were actually home or not, we hung out in the garage.

That’s not as weird as it sounds, it was a really cool garage. With furniture and everything. And their instruments, a lot of them. I don’t know how every one of these guys knew how to play every instrument packed into that room, but they did. And by the time I was sixteen, they were really almost good at it.

(Jake was good. Very good… I told you he was hot.)

This particular Saturday though, this was going to be the Saturday that changed my life. And I wanted to dress the part.

In hindsight, I wore something I’d probably worn a hundred times. Then why had it taken me so long to get ready? I changed my jeans twice, my shirt at least ten times, added a sweater, threw it back on my bed, added a flannel, tossed that to the floor. Picked it back up and shoved my arms in, made sure it hung off my shoulder just so. Shoulders are sexy, right? Do guys like shoulders? Oh shit, what do guys even like?

Anyway, I left the house looking exactly as I always did.

I rode my bike slowly that night, already hyper aware of the sweat under my arms.

So I slowed my pedaling even further. When the house came into view, I hopped off the bike and walked it up the drive before tossing it to the grass outside the garage.

Okay, knock twice and just go in.

That’s what everyone always did, what I always did. Just knock twice then lift the door. Everyone was always welcome, come on in!

So go in, idiot.

Look, I did it eventually. Just like always, knock knock, lift the door enough to slip underneath, let it close behind me. Except when it rolled back to the ground, I lost my nerve and stood frozen there for a few seconds too long.

Sam called me out, because he’s a menace.

“The hell are you doing, Tiny? We started without you.”

I moved farther into the space, eyes bouncing between my options through the soft haze of pungent smoke that already hung over the room. There was my usual spot - on the floor, next to the spot where Sam sat cross-legged, his long frame folded and bent, his sharp elbows resting on his knees as he waited for the joint to make its way back to him.

Not tonight, I’m on a mission.

Jake sat to his left, in a well-worn, floral print wingback chair. It was comfortable enough for one person, decades of weight softening the strength of the cushion’s springs before it ever came to live in this particular garage. Jake’s body was slung over it, legs thrown haphazardly over an arm while his own were wrapped around an acoustic guitar. Typical. He tipped his chin at me from under the brim of a bucket hat, then nodded towards the floor beside him. Holy shit, does he want me to sit by him?! I think my fingers lifted in a barely-there wave but I’m not really sure they were functioning correctly.

Okay focus, he did not. Does not. Not in this lifetime.

Still without his next hit, Sam glanced up at me over his shoulder and patted the threadbare throw rug next to him. “Sit down weirdo, you’re making me paranoid.”

Nerves that I’d never, never, felt before in this room fluttered through my stomach, I let my gaze meet Sam’s before continuing the search for a place to plant myself.

There was really only one option left - the couch - and both ends were already occupied. Our friend Danny (Kyle’s replacement, sorry Kyle) was in the process of melting into the corner closest to Jake, his eyes glassy and already tinged pink when he looked up at me. Only his eyebrows lifted in greeting before he mirrored Sam’s offer to sit next to him, tapping the cushion beside him.

This is fine, totally normal! Danny was Sam’s other half. Well, his other male half. I guess we were in thirds. A trio.

I accepted the offering, stepping around the coffee table, scarred with years worth of “art” - drawings and carvings, a few discreet dirty words etched into the surface in between - to drop to the middle of the couch. One of Sam’s brows tipped up when I met his eyes again, his expression asking, “Dude, what gives?”

“Hey, you’re here!” He noticed me, finally. Silvery smoke crept from between his lips as he grinned, and I watched transfixed when they pursed together and he blew a cloud toward the ceiling. My stare was broken when he leaned across the table and passed the joint to an impatient Sam, but to the delight of the butterflies going nuts in the pit of my stomach, he leaned back into the cushions and threw an arm over the back of the couch behind me. EEEEP!

“Hey-“ It was a humiliating and unsexy croak, and I quickly cleared my throat and tried again. “Hey, Josh. Hi.”

His long hair was pulled back, his entire face available for my viewing pleasure. Things were going perfectly.

I joined the rotation, the weed easing the flutters caused by sitting so close to Josh, but amplifying the feeling that the other three were watching and wondering why I was acting so strange.

They were not. They were high.

Aside from the stray curious eyebrow from my BFF across the table, they actually acted like nothing was abnormal about my seating choice, even when I started to scooch imperceptibly to my left every time I adjusted the way I was sitting.

Pulled my legs up under me? Scooch.

Dropped them down so my sneakers met the cement? Scooch.

Crossed my left ankle over my right knee? Scooch.

It was totally subtle.

“I’m gonna grab a pop, you guys want anything?” Sam startled me out of a pleasant reverie as he jumped up from the floor, but my freaking knee was touching Josh’s knee! No I don’t want anything, I have everything I need right here!

It turned out Sam was a huge knee blocker. He gripped me by an elbow and peeled me from the couch as the others murmured at our retreating backs about needing Doritos. He pushed me out the side door and towards the house and had me in the kitchen before I could even tell him he was ruining everything!

Even through bleary, hooded eyes, his death glare was brutal.

“Saaammmmm, what are you doing?!” “What the hell do you think you’re doing, T?”

More glaring. He broke the glare-off first, jerking his head to the side to flick his hair out of his eyes and turning to open the refrigerator, but once his face was inside it, he called me out again.

“Why are you being so weird with Josh?”

I love him, I need him!

“Whaaa.. I don’t know what you mean. You’re just super high.” Yeah, I really thought that would work. Sue me!

Straightening to his full height (seriously, like two inches taller than me… maybe three), he spun to face me again. He actually looked down his nose at me.

“Do you like, like him? What the fuck, Tiny?” He whispered that last part, as if his parents were lurking around the corner waiting to bust him for cussing.

“Look, you wouldn’t understand Sam. I’m much older than y-“

“You’re not even an entire year older than me.”

“Eleven months is basically an entire ye-“

“That’s not the point!” That part was like whisper yelling. I swear it looked like he was yelling, but it sounded like he was whispering.

“Okay!” Yeah, I whisper yelled back. “Sammy, I like him… I’m sorry! I don’t even know when it happened but I woke up one day and I realized that he’s perfect! He’s funny and nice and he’s so… so… cute! Okay? He’s so cute I wanna die and I love him!”

Sam’s eyes were wide, as wide as they could be under the circumstances, and he stared at me like I’d grown another head. With a horn coming out of it.

“You love him. You realize how dumb you sound right now?”

Dumb? No no, this was serious. I pleaded with my best friend for forgiveness. And his help. “Sam… please. Don’t be mad at me, I- I don’t know, I can’t help it! That’s just how I feel, and I want him to like me back!” That’s when it hit me, I needed a wingman for this plan.

“Can you help me get him to like me back?” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, bottom lip stuck out and everything. As if that had ever worked in the four years we’d known each other so far.

“Fuck no.” His eyes moved side to side, looking for sneaky parents again I guessed. “Definitely not. Why do you have to like my brother, dude? That’s sick, it’s like incest or something!” He stomped his feet a little, and I couldn't help but think it made him look like a child. He was a child! This was serious, grown-up shit and I didn’t have time to play games.

“Ugh, if you’re not gonna help me then at least get out of my way.” I pushed past him and headed back out of the house and into the garage. Not much had changed when I got there, but Danny must have left while Sam and I were gone. The entire couch was empty aside from Josh, still sitting cross-legged in one corner. Damn it!

I flopped into the spot that Danny had vacated, just as Sam hustled back in through the side door, arms full of sodas and bags of chips. My cheeks were warm when I looked up at him, and then they burst into flames.

“Scoot over T, I like the corner spot.”

He’s helping me! Oh shit, he’s helping me. Move your ass!!

Fumbling for a grip on reality, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Sam’s. He lifted his brows and tilted his head in Josh’s direction. I suddenly remembered why I wasted all my days with this kid - he’s my ride or die. And now I owed him, big.

As soon as I stood to shift to the center of the couch, Sam’s elbow snuck out and made contact with my shoulder. My feet tangled with each other and, balance lost, I tumbled. Right into the arms of my beloved.

Okay okay, that’s a reach. But I did land on him. Sam had nudged me just hard enough to send me toward the opposite end of the couch and I landed ass-first on Josh’s leg, still folded and crossed under the other.

Through the mortification, I heard Sam’s distinct snickering as he placed himself gently on the other cushion. Then, through the popping of soda tabs and crinkling of chip bags, I heard the sweetest, most beautiful sound ever.

“If you wanted to sit next to me so bad, you could’ve just done it, T.”

I quite literally had to extract myself from his lap, but Josh just giggled as I clumsily moved off of him. To my extreme delight and disbelief, I didn’t make it too far. He slung an arm over my shoulders and kept me at his side. We are sharing a cushion. ALERT ALERT - OUR THIGHS ARE TOUCHING.

His hand wrapped around the ball of my shoulder and squeezed. Not once, but twice. I felt like I was gonna puke, but I risked turning my head and meeting his eyes. And he. Fucking. Smiled.

“You good, Tiny?” I should’ve laughed. We were the same exact height, I could be calling him tiny. But this wasn’t funny, because he was still smiling at me and he’d lowered his voice to speak directly to me and I felt it all the way to my toes. Somehow I managed to smile back.

“I’m good.” I was soooooo good. Even when Sam shoved a bag of Doritos at me, I was good. Because Josh reached into it and pulled a few out for himself. He reached into my lap! For chips!

Risking a sideways glance at Sam, I found him eyeballing Josh’s hand that was still resting lightly over my shoulder. I gave him my best “holy shit holy shit holy shit” expression, to which he rolled his eyes and shrugged. Before turning my attention back to the love of my life, my gaze drifted past Sam and landed on Jake. Oh, he was still here? Hadn’t noticed.

Except I was noticing. And he didn’t look pleased. He locked in and held eye contact, absolutely scowling. He was pissed. At me?! I must not have hidden my surprise well, because after a few more tense seconds of the longest eye contact we’d ever held, he blinked away and flung the guitar he’d been cradling all night over the arm of the chair.

Look, he didn’t throw it or anything. The stand was right there and the guitar landed safely, if not a little roughly, in its place. But then he tossed the open bag of Lay’s to the table, swung his legs around and stood. He caught my eye again, his hair doing that flippy thing over his eyebrows as he shook his head.

“Whatever. Night, guys.”

Just like that, he was gone. Two down, one to go. GTFO Sam!!

The next hour or so passed in a blur. Sam kept hitting the joint long after Josh and I had turned it down, and by the time he’d deposited the roach in the ashtray he could barely keep his eyes open. I watched his head fall back into the cushion and pounced on my opportunity.

Leaning away from Josh’s loving embrace (shut up, I was in heaven okay?), I slapped Sam’s chest with the back of my hand.

“Sammy… Sam!” He snorted as his head whipped up, swiped a hand over his mouth and looked at me. I was still leaning toward him, my back to Josh, and I spoke to him telepathically. Or with my eyebrows.

Get out of here right now or so help me God.

He answered verbally, like he couldn't even read my mind. “Huh?”

I withheld growling at him like an animal. “Why don’t you go to bed, man? You’re toast.” Go. NOW.

His eyes tried to focus on me, they really did, before he shook his head and tried again. “Shit. Yeah, okay. Are you… do you wanna stay on the couch tonight?”

Yes. This couch. Allll night long.

“Yeah yeah, I will, but I’m not tired yet. I’m just gonna, um, chill here for a little bit longer?” At that, I turned my head and risked a glance at Josh. Thank God I did, because he was already looking at me, and he grinned. EEEEEEEP!

“I’m not tired yet either, we can listen to some music.” I doubted I could hear music at that point, not over the blood rushing in my ears. But then, oh then, he looked up at Sam and said, “I’ll make sure she makes it to bed, I mean, the couch. Downstairs, I’ll make sure she makes it downstairs.”

“Fine, whatever.” See? He’s my ride or die. “See you in the morning, T.” And then he was gone.

We were alone.

HELLO? WE. WERE. ALONE.

Sure, I’d been alone with Josh before. I’d been hanging around his house nearly every day for four years, we’d definitely been left in a room together at some point. But not while his arm was draped loosely over my shoulders, not while our legs were touching, not while my heart was about to beat out of my chest.

But now that we were alone, I had no effing clue what to do. Then Josh stood up. My heart dropped into my stomach, but he walked over to the stacked milk crates that housed a small part of their family’s record collection and crouched to skim through them. He found something he liked and set it on the turntable, the needle bringing the crackling beginnings of a song to life.

When he turned back to face me, I thought for sure he’d sit in that ugly wingback chair. Or at the other end of the couch. Instead, he circled the coffee table and sat on the opposite side of me than he had been all night. And now his other thigh was touching mine!

I’m pretty sure my throat closed up because I had to clear it rather unattractively to speak. “What, uhh, ha, um, who is this?”

Sexy, right?

Didn’t matter, his smile took shape right in front of my eyes and all I could see was the little barely-there gap between his front teeth. I wanted to know what it felt like on my tongue. Would I be able to tell? If I kissed him right now, would I be able to feel that little discrepancy in the perfection of his teeth? I lifted my eyes to meet his and realized he’d spoken, and I’d missed it.

“Sorry, uhh… what?”

His head tilted and his eyes searched my face for… something. “Wilson Pickett. Sammy hasn’t played this for you?”

Sammy? Who is Sammy? Ohhh right, best friend.

“Um, no, I don’t think so. But maybe? There’s always music on, he’s probably played this.”

He just nodded, at first in response to my rambling and then in time with the song. When it ended, he just… looked at me, for what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds. I was once again hyper aware of my underarms. Sweating. So I slipped the flannel off of my shoulders, keeping my forearms in the sleeves but giving me some airflow to the pits. Josh’s eyes dropped from mine and landed on the now exposed skin. Yes! Guys like shoulders!

The realization slapped me in the face, so I grabbed it and ran. I slid my arms out of the sleeves and tossed the flannel past Josh and onto the chair, thanking God that I’d worn a tank top. He gulped. Like a full-blown gulp.

Omg I’m making him nervous!!

Confidence boosted, I shifted even closer to him, until our bodies were tucked tight against each other. I’d never been this close to him, aside from that one time we’d been crammed in the back seat of his mom’s car with Sam and Jake, their sister sitting pretty in the front seat. But then I had been a scrawny kid, only thirteen (and a half) and he had been a really weird fifteen year old, not yet having grown into his features. I hadn’t wanted any part of his stinky, sweaty, farty body near me and I’d squeezed myself so close to Sam I was practically in his lap.

But on this night? This Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I was no longer a kid. And he was no longer weird. He was beautiful, and my face was really close to his face. I could feel it when he whispered, his breath actually touched my lips.

“Wha- what are you doing, T?”

He was looking at my lips, waiting for my answer. I licked them because I was freaking parched, but he watched. And I watched him gulp, again! My tongue slipped out and wet my bottom lip a second time.

“Josh?” Whispering is sexy, it’s seductive. I was sure of it. He did it back, just my name - my actual name - lilting at the end in question.

“Do you.. wanna… kiss me?” I leaned over him, placed my left hand on his chest and felt his collar bone under my fingertips through his t-shirt. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

I saw the panic widen his eyes, then they darted around me, looking at anything but me. It was really so cute how nervous he was. He was eighteen, for Christ sake! And I was making him nervous!

“Kiss me, Josh.” His eyes snapped back to mine, slipped down to my mouth again and then back.

And then. He. Freaking. KISSED. ME.

In a split second that felt like hours, I watched his eyes close and perfect lips pucker. My eyes stayed open at first, I didn’t want to miss this.

Leaning further into him, I settled my lips against his and slid the hand on his chest up the side of his neck (his pulse was out of control, by the way), and then cradled his jaw. My fingertips were in his hair right behind his ear. I pulled his face closer and ramped up the pressure of our lips pushed together.

He put his hands on me. I swear to God, he really did! One reached for my hip and the other came up to rest against my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and my body took over. Not a coherent thought left in my pretty little head. Especially when our mouths separated, and then he pushed them back together.

With a mind of its own, my other hand came up and gripped his shoulder. Then my leg swung over his lap and I. Was. Straddling. Him.

It wasn’t my fault. My brain had gone haywire, my body moving on instinct. I’d quite literally never done this before. I’d kissed plenty, I even kissed Sam once (barf), but this felt different. This felt mature. Probably a little more mature than I was ready for but like I said, it was not my fault.

A lot of blame fell on Josh, a whole mountain of it, when the hand on my cheek dropped to my other hip and gripped hard, pulled me flush against him. And his lips coerced my mouth open. And the tip of his tongue swept out and touched mine.

Oh, I was in way over my head. But this was Josh, the boy I loved, and he was loving me back!

A sound I’d never made before crept up my throat. Instant embarrassment heated my already toasty cheeks and climbed up my neck, but then. Ohh then. The same freaking sound came from somewhere below me. Josh groaned. Because of me.

My animal brain completely took over. My tongue was already sliding against his, and my hips decided to follow suit. With zero finesse, they rocked into his. Just once.

He broke the kiss and dropped his head back to the cushion.

No no noooooo, you like this! You love it!

I could feel the proof that he loved it. I was sitting on it. I could see it, his chest heaving.

So I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his throat.

“Stop, T.” His hands fell limp and landed on my thighs. My brain scrambled to catch up. Stop? Go! His fingers spread across the denim on my legs. Go go go!

But then he pushed. I leaned back to see his face, find an explanation, but his eyes were still closed as he pushed me off of his lap. Helped me swing my leg back over. Kept his hands on my thighs until they were planted back on the couch and closed. Firmly. Then they left me, and I felt their absence like a knife to the heart.

“I… wow, okay.” It’s the best I could manage to formulate, but my brain was running in overdrive.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let that happen.” He rubbed his palms, the ones that were just holding me, over his knees then leaned forward and dropped his forehead into them.

Okay, maybe he just thinks we were moving too fast!

“Josh, it’s okay. I want this! We can just kiss, I’ll stay over here and you stay there and-“

It was so quiet, but it stopped my words on my tongue and slammed my lips shut.

“I can’t.”

Okay. Okay. Okay.

It’s because Sam’s my best friend.

It’s because I’m too young.

He thinks I’m still a kid.

Like his kid sister.

Fuck!

Anger rolled through me. “Why? Is it Sam?”

He scrubbed his hands over his face and turned to me. Looked at me, finally.

“No, I-“

“Am I too young for you? You’re not that much older, Josh and we’ve known eachother forever, it’s not that big of a de-“

“It’s not that, Tiny.” His eyes closed again.

“Don’t call me that!” He’d offended me, I was o-ffen-ded. “I’m not a little fucking kid!” Okay, I was pissed! I was a grown ass woman!

(I wasn’t.)

Both of his hands reached forward and he pulled mine towards him. Held them there. Opened his eyes. Was he gonna cry? Why are his eyes wet?! Shit, am I crying?

“It’s not you, T. It’s me.” Oh please. “I- well, I um, I like someone else.”

Back to angry! “What?! Then why the hell were you kissing me?!” What a scoundrel, what a snake, what an asshole!

“It’s not like that-“

“What the fuck is it like?!” I didn’t normally curse much at that age, but when I tell you I was mad? Hurt? Embarrassed? I couldn’t stop it from happening.

Shit, his eyes were definitely wet.

“It’s a guy.”

He whispered it, and it wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t seductive. It was sad. Scared. Defeated. I snatched my hands out of his.

There was a long silence. Uncomfortable. He stared at his empty hands and we processed.

“What did you say?” His posture shrank, like he was trying to disappear. “Josh, it’s okay. Talk to me.” It was my turn to take his hands. I held them in mine and squeezed once.

“I’m so sorry, I- I just don’t like you. Like that.” His eyes found their way back to my face, “I really like him.” They went wide and I’m pretty sure mine did too. He seemed shocked that he’d said it out loud, right before panic spread across his features again.

“Please don’t say anything, T. I haven’t- no one knows that. No one. Please.”

“No, I would never Josh, I swear. I just… why were you, ya know, kissing me?” Touching me, pulling me in. He pulled his hands away from me this time.

“I just wanted to feel normal. I wanted them to think I was normal.”

I couldn’t help it. I threw my arms around him and held on tight.

“You are.” Normal and beautiful and perfect. And not mine. A heavy sigh slipped from between my lips. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

He stayed silent, so I did too. I kept my arms around him for a few minutes before finally letting them slip free, rubbing a palm between his shoulder blades.

“I guess I should go… Are you okay?” Look, I was not okay, but it didn’t seem like that was important anymore.

“Aren’t you gonna stay downstairs tonight?”

Definitely not. “No, I think I should go home…” Probably won’t show my face over here for a goooood long time.

“Let me walk with you.”

I did. He walked on the other side of my bike while I walked it by the handlebars. When we reached my driveway, I left the bike propped against the side of the garage and turned to him. And just like in my dreams, he moved close and pecked a kiss into my cheek. Then he pulled me into his arms.

“I’m really sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, ya know?” His voice was soft and low, his breath tickling my ear. It should’ve been a literal dream come true.

A half step back and I rubbed my hands up and down his arms. “It’s really fine. I’m sorry for…” Humiliating us both? “Everything.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I mean it,” he emphasized when I shook my head. “Just… please don’t say anything. Even to Sam. Especially to Sam. I’m gonna tell them all when I’m ready, I think.”

Huge, massive sigh. “I won’t. I promise.”

And I never did. Not really.

[obetrolncocktails]

Make Me Your Master | Josh Kiszka X Reader

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI semi-public sex, oral sex (f. Receiving), Male Sub, Fem. Dom, guided masturbation, dirty talk, graphic descriptions of sex, face sitting, pet names, orgasm denial. JOSH SUB. CHAIN HARNESS. Josh titty sucking :)

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: Whew! It's been a while! This was super fun to write! I wanted this dynamic to seem real, and less like a typically overworked sub/dom relationship. I feel like Josh would express his submission most in his worship of his partner, doing whatever he needs to to please them.

Summary: Damn, damn damn his stylists to hell! Who in their right mind would dress Josh in a harness, let alone one made of chains. Hell, they barely dressed him at all. You couldn't take it. You had to do something about it. Now.

You felt like an exaggerated cartoon character staring at him like you were–like if you dared to look for much longer, everyone would see the drool slipping out from between your lips and down your chin. Coming back to your senses, you cleared your throat and straightened your stance, choosing to lean against the nearest wall as the band’s stylists worked on Josh’s newest outfit for their upcoming music video. They pulled on the already-taut chains that contoured his chest and back so beautifully, adjusting them even tighter so that they would sit securely against his skin. From where you stood, you could see the metal pushing into the softness of his chest, creating noticeable divots. The sight shot blood pumping through your lower body. As a result, heat exploded up your neck and into your cheeks. 

“Are you listening?” You heard someone say distantly, but the words didn’t instantly make sense to you. “Y/n. Babe. Hey.” It was Josh who spoke, stepping forward toward you. 

“Sorry, I just zoned out for a second,” you muttered while running your fingers through your hair, trying your best to casually play it off. 

“What do you think?” He asked, pulling his fingers up to his body, touching the chains and crystals that adorned his chest. “This shit is so tight.” He looked up at you waiting for your opinion. Fuck-It’s not tight enough, you thought. But I know how to fix that. “Is it too much?” He asked, turning to look in the closest mirror. Josh, you’re barely dressed, it’s not enough…you wanted to laugh. Your words were unusually sparse. “Yeah I think it’s too much,” he said, but you snapped out of your stupor to grab him back by his wrist. 

“No!” You said way too loudly. The stylists glanced up at you as they packed away their items. “I mean, it looks great on you,” you admitted, pulling him against you by his bare waist. You bit at your lip, grinning at him, hoping to God he’d read the room properly. “Possibly too good,” you added in a sultry tone, your fingers dancing upon the chains and gems that dangled just above his nipples. You let your gaze drop to your fingers, then raised it very slowly again, catching Josh watching your lips, his face relaxing, but his eyebrows raising with interest. He cleared his throat, looking around the room at the stylists and then back at you. Luckily, Danny had walked in before anything else had to be said. 

“Josh,” Danielle said, raising her chin as she addressed him. “We’re gonna work on Danny for a few minutes. We’ll call you to make final adjustments and then you can go home,” she said. “But don’t run too far away.” You silently slid your hand off of his chest and down to his hand, squeezing it firmly while she spoke. He squeezed your hand back in response, turning his chin just slightly to acknowledge that he understood your silent demand.

“I won’t, I promise,” he said, stepping closer to exit, but you took initiative and practically yanked him out of the dressing room, smiling at the stylists while they grinned back at you, knowing exactly what they had done to you. 

“They know,” Josh said as you pulled him into the hallway. 

“I don’t care,” you snipped, reaching up to his chest to loop your fingers craftily through the chains of his harness, pulling him in for a needy and lustful kiss. He reciprocated instantly, his hands resting softly on your hips as you took charge of what you wanted. 

“Not in the hallway,” He said, evading your lips momentarily to look further down the hall, watching as crew members drifted between rooms. You let him lead you to a new room, his fingers pawing at every doorknob, cursing when they were locked. He pulled another and it opened, the first successful attempt for privacy. Your eyes flitted behind you for a final moment before slipping into the room. Four walls enclosed around you, tighter than you had expected. As you flipped on the light, you realized that it was one of the stylist’s offices. 

“Fuck–” you cursed, reading name plaque on the desk. Jennifer Margera. “Well, Mrs. Margera, I’m so sorry.” You mumbled, turning to lock the door before pushing a layer of papers off of the table top. You turned Josh’s body so that he could sit on the edge of the desk. 

“Are you though?” Josh asked, getting comfortable in his assigned spot, a swath of flowy, cream-colored silk cloaked his scantily-clad body. You pulled at the softness of the fabric, using the tips of your fingers to delicately remove it. 

“Not in the slightest,” You admitted while you worked. “Arms up,” You commanded, tapping his bicep. He appeased you, lifting his arms above his head. Your eyes fell to the masculine crop of hair that grew under his arms, arousal growing between your legs. Josh had always turned you on. He could do it without uttering a single word, and the worst part was that he knew it. He could be masculine and dominant at times, telling you exactly what he wanted and showing you how he would get it–but at other times, his uniquely-feminine qualities would appear in the most intimate moments, the gentle curves of his body pairing with the strength of his muscles. The most sexually satisfying moments for you were ones when he would helplessly bend to your will, so desperate for your attention and touch that he’d do whatever he had to do to get it. 

“You like what they put me in, don’t you Mama?” He asked, the corners of his lips curling slightly upward. Normally you’d roll your eyes at his use of the nickname, but in the moment, you took it as a signal of submission. 

“You look incredible,” you said, tossing the material to the floor. Stepping in between his legs, your fingertips grazed slowly down his bare midriff. You lowered your eyes to watch his skin erupt all over with goosebumps. “What is it, Josh?” You asked, adding a sensuous quality to your voice. You lowered yourself slowly into a squat, placing your hands on his thighs. “What’s on your mind, baby?” you asked him. 

“My cock,” he said frankly, grinning. He’s proud of himself. 

“Isn’t that unfortunate,” You said, standing up and backing away. “Guess you’ll have to fix that yourself.”

“Y/n come on,” he said, standing up off of the desk. You charged forward. 

“Don’t you dare.” You took him into your grasp by his chains once again, pulling your face just in front of his, your lips hovering just above his. “You want me to fix it? You do what I say, when I say it. Do you understand?” You asked, looking at him intently. “I said,” You repeated once more, reaching your free hand down to firmly grip his cock. “Do you understand me?” 

He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes.” He said, his voice strained. 

“Yes, what?” You asked, skillfully using your thumb to rub along what you could feel of his shaft. 

“Y-Yes ma’am,” he said finally. You released your grip once you were satisfied. 

“Sit back down, I want to look at you.” He moved wordlessly to his previous position, sitting on the edge of the desk. “Now…” You said, stepping forward, your eyes skimming over his body. “Let me help move things along.” You reached for the waistband of the flowy white pants they had dressed him in, peeling them from his body, grateful when they slipped off into a pile on the floor. “Now aren’t these pretty,” you said, pulling at his silken underwear. “Pretty little panties,” you added, gleefully watching crimson flush wash upon his neck and into his face. You let them roll down his thighs and off of his legs, dropping them to the floor. 

“Touch yourself for me, baby boy,” you told him. “You look so pretty.” 

“T- touch myself?” He asked, his eyebrows raising. You weren’t so sure why he was suddenly so tentative. Maybe because you were giving him the direct order. 

“Need something to look at, honey?” You asked, offering a syrupy-sweet tone. You pulled at the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your head, and let it drop to the floor. “Tell me how you’d touch me, Josh. Tell me while you touch yourself.”

You watched as he took his semi-erect cock in his hand, beginning to stroke it slowly. His expression was beginning to relax as he watched you standing in front of him. He pressed his teeth down into his bottom lip for an extended moment before speaking. “I’d take your tits in my hands, and squeeze them, pinching your nipples between my fingers.” 

You took his cue, lifting your hands to remove your bra, dropping it into the heap on the floor. You wouldn’t tell him, but in this unfamiliar room, you felt more exposed than you usually would. It wouldn’t matter though, because the amount of arousal that flooded your system was far more potent than the distant worry that loomed about. You pulled your hands to your breasts, kneading them just as Josh would, pinching your nipples firmly between the knuckles of your fingers, letting him watch. “What next, baby boy?” You asked. He grinned at the name. You watched him fuck his hand, his thumb working against his rigid shaft, pressing in against his skin to add the right amount of friction. 

“I’d slip my hand down into your pants and finger your clit, just to get you going. Let me watch you do it this time, Mama.” He bit his bottom lip again, adjusting himself on the desk to rest on his inactive hand, his head tilting as he relaxed into pleasuring himself. 

“You want to watch me finger my clit?” You asked, echoing him. “I’d be happy to.” You brought four fingers to your lips, licking them before sliding them into your leggings and underwear, locating your clit easily. “And how would your fingers work, Josh?” You asked, taking a step or two forward closer to him. “How would you finger my pussy?” 

He raised an eyebrow, obviously enthused. “Usually it would be my tongue-fucking your clit, but since I can’t do that–”

You reached for his face, grabbing hold of his chin gruffly. “That’s not what I asked, pretty boy. Are you going to obey or are you going to be a smart ass?” You loved this act–of feeling in control, especially over Josh. At times he possessed such submissive qualities, that it was difficult to get through the day without daydreaming of instances exactly like this. 

“I’ll be good, I promise,” He said, grateful when you released your grip on him. He was still grinning, but that would change later when he’d beg to cum and you would do everything except appease him. 

“So, my little pet–answer the question. How would you finger my clit, hm?” You asked again. 

“I’d spin my fingers in slow circles around it.” He said, letting his mouth drop slightly open from the pleasure of touching himself. “I’d taste you, putting my fingers in my mouth.” You raised your eyebrows, your lips curling upward. You liked what he had to say. “You taste so good, Mama.” 

“What next?” you asked, doing as he had said, rolling spirals around your swelling clit. You pulled your fingertips out of your pants and inserted them into your mouth, tasting your own slick before bringing them back down. 

“Fuck–” he murmured under his breath, watching you with sagging eyelids. 

“You wish it were you, don’t you?” You asked him, chuckling softly. He nodded, licking his lips. 

“I can be nice,” You added, stepping forward and repeating the process again, pulling your fingers to his lips. “Open up.” You tapped his lips, stopping to slide your fingertips onto his tongue as he opened his mouth. “Suck on them.” He closed his lips around your fingers, his tongue working around them to taste you. His voice rumbled against your fingers as he hummed, immersing himself in the moment. You pulled them out of his mouth. 

“I want to see more. Please.” He said, his voice coming out in almost a whimper. 

“More? And how do you get more?” You asked, guiding him further. 

“Please take your pants off. And your panties. I need to see you. All of you.” His eyes sparkled with intensity, his voice pitching upward as he pleaded. 

“Mm, Good answer.” You reached for your leggings and underwear, pulling them down both at once, kicking them to the side with the other discarded clothing. “Let me help you see better.” Stepping around the desk, you pulled the chair out from underneath it and rolled it back around to rest in front of Josh. You lowered yourself upon it, spreading your legs wider for him to see. 

“But first, hands on your thighs.” 

“What?” He asked, confused. 

“Stop touching yourself. Put your hands on your thighs while you watch. If you slip up just once, we stop, get dressed and leave.”

“No, no, Mama. I’ll be a good boy, I swear.”  He gave in to submission, his hands releasing from his cock to rest flat on his thighs. You watched as his hardness throbbed and twitched almost involuntarily. It set you dripping.

“You’re such a good boy,” you said, returning your attention to yourself, smoothing your fingers over your belly and on down. “Speak to me baby. How would you like Mama to touch herself, hm? It’s all here for you.” 

“I would finger fuck you so well, Mama. I’d make sure you’d get whatever you want, especially with that beautiful clit of yours. I wish I was sucking on it right now.” You let your fingers slide back down in between your folds, feeling the increasing amount of slick coating your fingers. You pinched your middle fingers against your clit, squeezing your core muscles against the sensations that arose from the pressure.

“You know how to say exactly the right thing, my little prince. I’m practically dripping.” You spun slow spirals into your clit, biting your bottom lip as you scooched your lower body forward onto the chair, leaning backward so that he could see an unobstructed view of your pussy. 

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, Mama. Let me touch you, please. I’ll do anything,” He said, his tone turning more insistent and whiny. 

“Anything?” You asked him, moving to insert a finger into your opening, curling upward. It was good, but not nearly as good as Josh would or could be. 

“Anything,” he swallowed. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob up and down. Your eyes traveled along the chains and crystals that adorned his bare chest, and you admired the way they pressed into his soft, supple, but strong physique. You let your gaze fall further until they landed between his legs, watching the tip of his cock drip, momentarily abandoned. 

“Tell me what you’d do.” You said, using your fingers to spread open your pussy, playfully inserting your fingers into your mouth, dripping wet saliva on them and returning them downward to please yourself. 

“I’d eat your pussy so good that I’d forget about my cock, Mama. I just want to make you feel good. I’d cum without touching myself, I just know it.” The way he spoke to you reminded you of a child begging for five extra minutes of playtime. You loved that he was trying to bargain with you in order to touch you. 

“Aw, poor thing,” you said. “You want to eat Mommy’s pussy so badly that you’d give up cumming just for a taste?” He nodded, eyeing you pleadingly, his eyes sparkling with hope that you’d give in. 

“On your knees.” You ordered, standing up, pushing the chair away from you, opening more space on the floor of the office. He moved from the desk quickly, getting in place on the carpet below you. He placed his hands back on his thighs for further instruction. The way he sat reminded you of an eager puppy dog, the way their eyes train on you, following your every move until you pay them the attention they’re owed. 

“I’ll give you a taste,” You told him. “Promise you’ll do a good job?” You asked, stepping forward to hover above him. The way he looked up at you spun your core in knots. 

“I’m only ever here to please you, to serve you,” he said, bringing his hands up to rest on your bare thighs. You let him touch you with no punishment—you’d be half-way conscious in a matter of moments anyway. You knew he’d leave you seizing against his face as he had so many times, and you would never get enough of it. 

“Then show me how well you serve your master,” you spoke, taking the final step forward, his face and neck inclining upward instantly to seamlessly connect with your body.

His tongue was strong but so gentle as he parted your folds for the first time, dragging it along your sensitive skin. You felt his facial hair scratching along the outer edges of your pussy, which only added to the ecstasy of having a man in between your legs—an extremely sexy man, who was submissively under your control, but effortlessly domineering when it came to fucking you. You could both pretend, and it would be fun in the moment, but you were foolish to believe that the man below you couldn’t make you cum in mere minutes. He held the power like a hidden ace, and you were very-well aware of it. He still let you play the game, enjoying the bratty names and power play. 

Josh pressed his face against you as you stood over him, and you grounded yourself, squatting lower so that gravity worked in your favor as he continued to eat your pussy. “Use your tongue,” you ordered. “So many girls watch you while you sing. They know you eat pussy well. Too bad they don’t have you between their legs.” You ground your pussy against his face, feeling his tongue working in wide loops against every surface. He took the risk of teasing your clit, avoiding contact for as long as he dared before flicking the strong tip of his tongue against it in fast spurts. In moments where it felt like you couldn’t take much more without cumming, he’d flee from your clit to lap up the juices that would collect at your entrance. You felt him humming against your skin as if you had prepared him a delicious meal to eat, his hot breath sweeping over your thighs when he’d come up gasping for air. 

“Fuck–” you moaned quietly, licking your lips as you processed the pleasure coursing though your body. “Fuck, that feels amazing.” He looked up at you with an almost innocent smile, his eyes sparkling with fervor as he licked his lips. 

“Am I doing a good job?” He asked you, rubbing his hands up your thighs and sides. You nodded quietly. 

“Keep going, baby. Do your job.” You said, trying your best to regain your authoritative demeanor. He was eager to please, his hands glued to your thighs as he spread them further apart, forcing you further down into the squat. 

“Don’t worry, Mama. Relax,” He told you. “I’ve got you.” He somehow read your mind, knowing that you’d feel self-conscious in this precarious, unbalanced position. Soon enough he’d have you teetering out of balance, the only thing keeping you upright being his strong arms. You breathed in deeply, letting him return to his pace. You felt him slip his tongue into your opening with no hesitation, fucking you with the tip as his fingers beared further into your skin. You let your back arch where you stood, squeezing your muscles against his face. He was an expert at this, and his confidence showed you that he knew it, too. You closed your eyes, reaching down to place your hands on his for a moment, showing him silent satisfaction. He removed one of his hands after a moment and brought it between your legs, inserting them into your opening, and moving his tongue back up to your swollen clit. 

“Jesus–fuck!” You hissed through your teeth, bringing your hands up to your tits, squeezing them in your hands, your nipples hard and erect against your palms. Josh had wrapped his free arm around your body, his hand splayed open against your ass and back as he pulled you firmly against his face. You felt his tongue and lips undulating wildly against your pussy, his fingers curling with abandon against your inner walls. Wet, sloppy noises filled the room, and you knew that they definitely could be heard in the hallway if someone were listening intently. “Oh my god!” You whimpered far too loudly, slamming your palm against your lips as you remembered where you were, the ecstasy flowing through your system far too immense for you to downplay any longer. 

Josh heaved a breath, coming up briefly for air. “Cum for me, Mama. Please cum all over my face. I want to taste you when you finish over my tongue.” His face was red with friction, his lips close to chafing. He didn’t care for an instant. His face would look completely fucked-out by the time he returned to the dressing room, but he didn’t care. He didn’t serve the stylists, only you. He wiped his lips casually before centering himself again underneath you, returning to your pulsing core. This time, he focused solely on your clit, using his agile tongue to flutter skillfully against the bud, sending your body climbing through a mountain-excursion, purposefully releasing his touch from you to pull you back down from the summit so that the very next time it would be even more intense. 

Your body quaked against your will, momentarily stealing with it most of your power over him. Josh was a submissive lover most of the time, but when it came to doing his job, he’d be sure to make you cum in ways you had never experienced with anyone else. He worked your pussy like it was a sacrament–something to be relished and celebrated, and you’d do nothing to stop him from doing exactly that. “Fuck-f–” you sputtered, feeling your hips beginning to buck instinctively, your body barreling toward the apex of climax. Your skin began to prickle with sweat from exertion and you felt your hair beginning to stick limply to your forehead and cheeks. “Josh! Josh–please–” You groaned in skittering gurgles that poured weakly from your throat. Your dominant tone had diminished to nothing, replaced with thin and pathetic whines that snatched away the demanding quality you had previously possessed. You knew that you’d regain power and composure, but you were too far gone in the moment to even consider it. 

Josh’s tongue moved faster and stronger than ever, his lips buzzing against your clit, his hands wrapped around your hips in a silent dare for you to move away from him. Your legs weakened above him, your thighs shuddering and squeezing tightly against his face. You collapsed forward on yourself, grateful for the strength of Josh’s grip on your body. You reached down, pulling and yanking at his hair, in a half hearted attempt for him to pull away from you, but he wouldn’t until he felt you finally cum–and even then, you knew he’d take his time lapping up the product of the orgasm, and you’d let him as a reward for a job well done. When he began to shake his head back and forth, his tongue contorting and flicking wildly, you knew you were done for. You finally let your eyes roll backward and you gave in to the torrent of sexual agony that roared through your entire body, leaving you to quiver pathetically above the one you had supposedly claimed was your subordinate. His tongue slowed, but he did not stop; instead, he moved lower to your entrance, lapping up and savoring the climax that leaked from you, diligent to not waste a single drop. 

“Holy fucking shit,” You said through a heaving sigh, pushing him away from you so that you could regain your breath. You had expected to see it, but you hadn’t prepared for the way he would look when he came up for air himself. The makeup that the stylists had applied was severely smudged–embarrassingly so. His face and lips were rubbed raw, and his hair had been pulled and yanked out of its styled appearance, making it impossible for anyone to not catch on to what had happened behind this closed door. 

“Oh my God, your face,” You chuckled, reaching for him as he rose from the floor. 

“I don’t care,” he said this time. “That was fucking worth it,” he grinned, pressing his lips together. “My lips are numb.” He said, pulling his thumb to swipe along his mouth. 

“Let me show you how much I appreciate you for your amazing work,” You said, walking him back to the desk. “Sit. Let me take care of you, Baby.” He wordlessly did as he was asked, sitting on the edge of the table, waiting for you. To your amazement, he was still hard between his legs. “You loved tasting me, didn’t you, hm?” You asked, reaching forward to hover your lips above his, surprising him by taking his cock in your hand. 

“I loved it so much,” He said lustfully, his gaze fixed on your lips as you increased the pressure of your hand against his cock. “Can I please kiss you?” He asked, his head tilting forward, drawn by some kind of magnetism. You appeased his request, letting him fall into your kiss easily, his head bobbing and tilting as you touched him. You parted from the kiss, lowering yourself in front of him. You were sure he was expecting a blow job, but you evaded that expectation by moving to his chest to suckle on his round, erect nipples. You made a show of flicking your eyes upward through your lashes as you fluttered the tip of your tongue against his hard nipple, eventually closing your mouth around it to suckle upon it. He groaned deeply, the sounds escaping his throat in deep, raspy strains. Josh let his head tip backward as he closed his eyes, his hands moving to rest upon your shoulders. 

“Josh! I know you’re in there,” someone almost shouted on the other side of the door as they knocked forcefully on it, sending you springing away from Josh. It was Danny. “They’ve been trying to call your phone for the last fifteen minutes. Finish up whatever you’re doing and come on.” 

“Fuck,” You whispered dejectedly, reaching for his clothing. 

“It’s okay, Mama. To be continued…” he said, hopping off of the desk. 

“If you act right,” you said, with a wink. “You’ll just have to wait a little longer.” You bit your bottom lip, scheming up ideas for how you’d tease him until you’d finally give him his well-earned reward. 

End of Part 1.

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[katuschka]

Touch Starved Pups Masterpost

Jake Kiszka x f!reader x Josh Kiszka

It was supposed to be just a funny one shot, but it's already growing out of proportions inside my head, so here we are. Part One Part Two Part Three

This is a story about what happens to two well-behaved, bored and horny romantics when a new feisty, worldly and hot social media manager enters the building...

Teaser: ...and if you keep wondering why they behave like such frenzied horndogs all the time, the explanation is pretty simple. It’s because they are!

It’s good for the show – sure thing – and they’re both true born professionals creating a breathtaking spectacle. But the truth is that they’re naturals. Lusty, filthy, bad. 

Just kidding. They’re sweethearts. Lust-driven, whiny pups that want to be played with. When the show’s over, they both follow me backstage like good boys that they are, wagging their tails at me enthusiastically.

If this caught your attention, I do have a TAGLIST. :)

Asked sweet mama, let me be her kid.

She said, "You might get hurt if you don't keep it hid"

She's a good rider

She's my kindhearted lady

She studies evil all the time

@its-interesting-van-kleep @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @writingcold @ignite-my-fire @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @fleet-of-fiction @lvnterninthenight @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @thewritingbeforesunrise @wetkleenex-gvf @lyndz2names

[anthemofgvf]

Ceilings ~ Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction:

“lovely to just lay here with you. you’re kinda cute, and i would say all of this, but i don’t want to ruin the moment.”

description: to have your best friend be a world-wide sensation was one thing, but to secretly be in love with him was another. when josh is on a short break from tour and so happens to be back in town, you feel it is necessary to communicate your feelings before you don't get the chance.

trope: friends to lovers

warnings under cut...

warnings: fluff-lots of it, mentions of alcohol usage, swearing, angst, smut (18+ minors dni!!)

word count: 5.7k

a/n: my first fanfiction AND first Josh fic of many to come. I hope you all enjoy!

---

Ever since high school, you and Josh were attached at the hip. Not as much as him and his twin, but as close as you possibly could be. You would often help him with his films whenever he needed it, or just stood to the side to watch him direct. And, when he decided to form a band with his brothers and their best friend Danny, you would attend their small shows in Frankenmuth and often sit in as they recorded songs and whatnot.

After a while, they skyrocketed into a global phenomenon and their sophomore album was barely released as they took on the roads and traveled the world.

You would follow them on their earlier tours, but it eventually conflicted with your work schedule, and traveling outside of the U.S. was not on your itinerary. You'd often receive calls from the boys, mainly Josh, discussing the show afterwards and places they've seen as they explored the new destinations on their tour.

You always knew you had some sort of feelings for Josh, whether it was platonic or not, your heart fluttered at the sight of his infamous, toothy smile, or when he'd make a charismatic joke. No matter the circumstance, your eyes always fell on your best friend, and your thoughts would linger of ideas about you and him. Hell, even his name would pop up in your brain whenever your mind was blank.

Honestly, everything reminded you of him.

But there was no possible way you and him could ever be together exclusively. He never showed signs of wanting more than a friendship. Sure, he was always affectionate towards you in any way he could be, but that was just Josh. He was like that with everybody, stranger or not.

You missed him every day he was off on tour. Didn't matter if he called you that night, which he tried to message and call you as much as he could, your heart still ached for his presence. Simple calls shared between you two were not enough to fill the void that curated in your heart.

The worst kinds of things he would say?

"I miss you." "I'm ecstatic to see you." "We can do whatever you want as soon as I get back, I promise." "Only a few more days."

All of it was normal things Josh would say on your phone calls, but him reminding you that there were only a few days left until he was back in Frankenmuth made the week feel like an eternity.

But when the day struck that he was finally coming home, you couldn't contain your excitement. You flew out of your bed and quickly got ready, awaiting his arrival in your living room of your small apartment. Waiting for a knock, a phone call, anything.

Your leg tapped vigorously on the wooden floor and bit at your cuticles as you continuously checked the time, counting down the minutes until his apparent arrival. He told you the night prior that he'd bring you to his mom's house, as they were having a small gathering with family to celebrate their arrival and the short period of time they'd be home before back on the road.

Knock knock.

The taps on your door nearly gave you whiplash and had you jump out of your skin as you bounced off your couch and reminded yourself not to run to the door, but to walk steadily.

You opened the door and saw Josh standing in a white shirt and khaki shorts with messy curls resting on his head, sporting a bright smile on his face and open arms the second he saw you.

And you jumped into his arms and embraced him tightly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he held you close to his chest with a soft chuckle.

"Hi Josh." You mumbled into his shoulder.

No matter how long it had been, which it had been a few months since you've seen him, did you ever grow tired of his natural musk that made you swoon. Something about the way he held you close to his body made your heart jump out of your body and beat against his chest as a strong sign that you just wanted to be in his arms 'til the end of time.

"Hi y/n," He breathed back as he began to rub your back slowly.

"I've missed you, Josh. I've missed you so much."

"Missed you more," he pulled away from your body as he kept his hands on your back. "How's the old town holding up?"

"Same as always. Hasn't changed a bit." You giggled, releasing your arms from his neck as his hands fell to his sides.

He nodded with a hum, looking down the hall and meeting your gaze with a soft smile.

"Ready?"

-

You hopped into Josh's white jeep as he drove you to Karen's. You were practically family, often staying over at their house when you didn't feel like going home, or just hanging around whenever you could when you two were younger. Like previously stated, you and Josh were nearly attached at the hip.

You turned your head to Josh, who was focused on the road, tapping on his steering wheel with his index finger to the soft music that filled the quiet car.

"Have you missed home?" You asked.

"I always do. Was nice to see my mama." He flicked his eyes at you before re-focusing on the road.

"You've always been such a momma's boy." You smirked at him.

"And there's not a problem with that!" He exclaimed with a toothy grin. "But I still missed you. Not as much as my family, but y'know." He shrugged after telling his sarcastic joke.

"So, you're still an asshole?" You poked back at him.

"Some things never change, y/n." He pointed at you. "Assholery is in my blood."

"God," you laughed, "sometimes you're a little unbearable."

"Ouch!" He pretended to be offended, slapping his hand flat onto his chest with a soft chuckle after.

You pulled into the driveway of Josh's familiar childhood home and followed Josh into the house, where everyone had already gathered and had seemed to have been waiting on your arrival. They all had plates of food, laughing and chatting about something Jake had said pertaining the tour.

A feeling in your chest rose as you were brought back in time for a split second, remembering sitting at the very dining table that sat across the room, joining the Kiszkas almost every week for dinner and talking about school. The innocence of it all almost made you teary-eyed, reminiscing about your chats with Josh in the backyard and his dreams of traveling the world someday with his brothers and becoming a star.

It's funny how some dreams become a reality, and you sit on the sidelines and watch them bloom.

Karen quickly walked over to you and squeezed you, commenting on how it's been too long and that she's missed you. Then Jake with a small hug, then Sam, Danny, Veronica, and Jake's girlfriend Jita.

As the night went on, you eagerly listened to the boys discussing their favorite stories from tour, the plans for the next few weeks for shows, and more. Josh usually led the conversations - he always did, in fact. He was a talker, a huge one. Especially at home where he felt most comfortable. God, you could listen to him talk for hours. It could be utter nonsense and you'd still actively tune your attention to him always.

When the moon fully lit the sky, shimmering down on the freshly cut blades of green gas in the backyard, slowly people started to drift onto their own things. Danny saying his goodbyes first, then Sam and Jake ran off to wherever along with their sister and Jita, and you were somehow left in the living room with Josh.

"Feels great to be home." Josh spoke, looking at you.

"I bet. Those long nights away from home can be difficult sometimes." You responded to him.

They were hard for you, too. Every time he would say goodbye, it was harder to say it back. To slowly forget his voice until he would call you again or to lose understanding of what his touch felt like. You would have to constantly remind yourself of those small things and moments you didn't want to break free from your mind, even though it didn't matter what you thought. He only saw you as his friend, a purely platonic friendship, and you were sure he saw and met his fair share of perfect women on tour. Girls that were better than you. It was difficult to not think about what he was doing, who he was with while on tour. Thankfully, worked kept you occupied. But on the slow hours in your office job, your mind kept wandering to scenarios of him and some girl.

"Y/n?" Josh placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Hm? Yeah?" You frantically met his gaze.

"You were spaced out for a moment there," he smiled, "everything alright?"

No, everything wasn't alright. You were only going to be spending a few days with him before he was gone for another month or so, and who knows for how long would he stay after that?

But, why burden him with your silly thoughts? "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...thinking."

"Care to tell?" He removed his back from the couch, folding his hands together as he leaned forward to find your wandering eyes.

"It's...it's just-I don't know." You shook your head with a shrug, turning your direction away from him as he watched you tentatively.

"Come on." He pushed himself off the couch with a groan, holding his hand out for you to grab. With a small smile, and flushed cheeks, your hand melted into his and he dragged you up to his childhood bedroom and out through the window, and onto the roof.

Back in high school, you and Josh would often sit on his roof and breathe in the fresh air as the stars twinkled upon you and him. You and him would just spill your guts up there. Sometimes you two shared drinks, maybe a joint, but the main point was that it was the only spot that somehow seemed to get something off yours or his chest.

It became your favorite spot in the entire house. It was the only place that you had truly become vulnerable with Josh and see his true emotions. He was never uncomfortable with his feelings, but he made it seem like you were the only person, other than his twin, that knew the darkest secrets he held in his sacred mind.

He sat only a few inches from you, resting on his forearms as he admired the stars dance in the luminous night sky. He had a relaxed demeanor as always, but you, you had your legs pressed to your chest with your arms around them securely, trying to focus on something else than the thought of admitting how you felt towards Josh.

"Y'know, I remember when we were up here once, had a few too many drinks and such. You were talking about something that I can't seem to remember, but whatever it was, it made you vomit all over this roof." He started to laugh as his eyes hit you.

"Was probably talking about how sick I felt after playing one too many games of beer pong against you." You rolled your eyes in a playful manner.

"You always lost." He continued his light laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, who will be laughing when they get pushed off this roof?" You cocked your head at him with a teasing expression.

"Hey, I was just stating the facts." He shrugged with a sly smirk as you pushed his shoulder.

You looked back up to the sky, reminiscing on the faint memory and trying to clear your mind of that aching, pressuring feeling to say something more sentimental than usual, to tell Josh how much you really missed him, hell, to show him how much you missed him.

Knowing you for so long, Josh picked up on the little things. He knew when you were truly content, when something was on your mind; all of it. And he noticed that your chipper demeanor was off, and how your eyes lightly flickered back and forth to show you were thinking of something. How you would go longer than usual without blinking because your mind was in a trance.

"Alright, it's bugging the hell outta me. What's up?" Josh sat up as he spoke with a lowered voice, close to a whisper.

"Nothing, I'm fine, Josh. Just...taking in the night, that's all." You lied as you gave him a fake reassuring smile and nod before turning your direction back to the sky.

"I know there's something on your mind, y/n. You're not good at hiding it."

You swallowed, fluttering your eyes shut as you deeply inhaled the warm summer air to contain any sensitive emotions from rising.

Josh scooted closer to you, leaning his head forward to find your eyes as you rested your cheek on your knees.

"It's nothing, really." You flicked your eyes to him and held contact with his brown eyes that shimmered under the ethereal moonlight. "It's...just stupid." You mumbled.

"I'm sure whatever it is, it isn't stupid. I'm not one to pry, but it's bothering me knowing something is off." His lips downturned. "Although you don't have to tell me exactly what you're thinking about, you could try to at least share the basis of whatever it is for me."

You lightly chuckled, finding it in you to softly smile at the perfect sight in front of you, rather than to cry. Anything to stop your eyes from welling with tears and curate a knot that bubbled in your throat.

"Well, I don't know. I guess I've just missed this a lot, y'know?" You grazed your lips with your tongue.

"The roof?" Josh joked.

"Yeah, the fucking roof." You rolled your eyes. "No, I've missed...well, I've missed you, a lot. Don't get to see you often anymore." You shrugged.

Josh pulled you into his side, wrapping his arms around you as he circled your back with his cool fingers. His eyes rested on your head as he waited for you to speak, to continue. To wait for you to look up at him once more.

"I can assure you that I've missed you a lot more. It's not the same on tour without you. I'm not the only one who thinks that way, frankly. Sometimes Jake and I will have small conversations of things that we see that we think you'd like or remind us of you. I'm always thinking about you on the road, y/n." He motioned with his hand outwards, then placing it beside him.

You turned your head upwards as you grew the courage to meet his eyes, and you saw through the moonlight his soft, affectionate smile that made your heart sink into your stomach.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." You released a breathy laugh.

"Why would I lie to you?" He furrowed his brows. "Why do you think I call and text you every day? Don't do it just because I think you'll be upset if I choose not to. I do it because I want to."

All you could do was lose yourself in Josh's eyes with your mouth slightly parted. What could you say to not ruin the moment? Or should you just come clean? Your head began to pound with different responses and words, both your heart and head fighting for a say in your next words, your next move.

"You mean it?" Was all you could say. You still couldn't push away the feeling that this all was too good to be true.

Sure, you've been in Josh's arms before, but not like this. Not where you two seemed to be sharing the same intimate air and expressing the same intimate feelings. Something just felt different about this interaction between you and your best friend. It was like for a moment you forgot he was just your friend, and nothing more.

"Of course. Sometimes I think about just asking you to join us on tour despite you saying you can't because of work." He continued to rub your back.

"Yeah, work always gets in the way. It's a normal person struggle."

Josh chuckled at your comment, lifting his chin as he shined a toothy smile.

"I'm sure you could somehow find a way to take a few weeks off."

"A few weeks?" You scoffed. "Not that easy, Josh."

"Unfortunate, real unfortunate." He shook his head. "Still should think about it, though."

You rolled your eyes in a playful manner, flashing a soft smile.

You took a few moments to regain your thoughts, take a few breaths before speaking. You knew coming onto this roof where you two would always sit would bring everything out of you. And Josh knew it, too. It was like a secret key to unlocking your mind.

"You know I would in a heartbeat, Josh. Not a day goes by that I'm not thinking about you." You swallowed.

Of course, you missed him, but the sincerity in your words let Josh relax his face into a warm grin and had seemed to relieve any tension in his body, if any.

"You...you think about me every day?" He needed reassurance, too. For holding such an easy-going, nerve free exterior, his heart began to race, and his ears began to burn with fire. His eyes lit up with excitement, he waited impatiently for a response.

Your two organs came to an agreement to let you release your internal thoughts into a word vomit. "Of course, I do, Josh. Always count down the days until you come back home and wait impatiently for you to call me. Even when you're here I'm still thinking about you, which is stupid because you're a few minutes away and I can just stop by, but I don't want to be a burden to you. But when you leave again, God, it's hard. I cry myself to sleep because I know it'll be a century until I see you again and we can hang out like old times. Stare at my fucking ceiling on those days of sleepless nights just feeling so...so empty because you're gone. Doesn't matter if it's for a few days or a few months. It's all the same to me."

Your eyes widened as you seemed to regain conscious of your surroundings and could feel your heart banging against your chest as a cry for help and ringing in your ears, for you to just shut up. But you were too late. Your eyes began to burn while your vision became blurry, blinking away the tears to make out Josh's facial expression.

But all he could do was just look at you, stunned. Shocked. Surprised that you felt this way because he always knew what you were feeling and what you were thinking. But this, this was something you were able to keep away from him for such a long time. And now that it was finally in the air and slammed into his chest, all he could do was look at you in mere astonishment.

He lifted his hand to your cheek to wipe away your fallen tears with his thumb and lifted your chin. He held your eyes with his own, before glancing at your lips and fluttering his eyes shut to place a soft, tender peck on your shaky lips.

The quick loss of his lips on yours ignited something in you, something you've never felt before. You grew hungry, starved as if he was essential to your survival.

You placed your hand on his cheek as you brought him back onto your lips, sharply inhaling as you two shared a passionate kiss under the stars. From a bird's eye view, this scene was cinematic. It was too good to be real. You seemed to have blacked out, but no, it was all reality.

His lips colliding with yours, you savored every sense, every feeling that circulated in your entire being as you desperately tried to deepen the kiss. His mouth fit onto yours like it was a missing puzzle piece that you’ve been trying to find for years. And now that he was finally showing you his reciprocation of your feelings, your heart gave in to all those thoughts that had only seemed to be a silly reoccurring dream.

Your hand crawled into his curls as you held him against your lips, and he held you as close as he could comfortably. Your senses had seemed to have heightened, as you could taste the peppermint that rested on his tongue, his natural scent. The air that blew sweet nothings throughout the sky and into your clothes. How hot your body grew as the kiss deepened. How your heartrate seemed to have relaxed to a soft melodic beat that matched Josh's. How right it felt to be kissing your best friend. How the void in your heart seemed to have been completely rid of, and you felt complete.

Josh unlocked his lips from yours, planting his forehead onto yours as you two shared inconsistent breathing patterns. You found one of your hands under his shirt, and slowly dragged it down to his thigh as you shut your eyes to breathe in his air.

"Josh." Was all you could mutter through your breaths.

“How long have you felt this way?” He whispered with half-hooded eyes.

“Since I’ve met you. I always have felt this way.” You met his eyes to the best of your ability, looking at him with a softened gaze that only proved your words truthful and sincere.

He placed a soft kiss on your head, as if to tell you without words that he understood and thought the exact same way as you, running his hand through your hair delicately before he stood up and lend his hand to you to pull you up, and lead you back into his room.

Jake wasn't there, and hopefully wouldn't come back, because the lust in Josh's eyes became more apparent than before, and you two could barely keep each other from melting into each other's bodies and losing your hands in each other's soft, heated skin.

You found yourself flat on your back on Josh's bed, parting your mouth with his and following a steady pattern that only made you ache for more.

You tugged your shirt over your head and broke the kiss only for a moment, before clashing your mouth onto his again. His hand walked alongst the side of your torso, gripping onto your hip to make sure you'd never move from below him, even though you had no intention to do so.

You kept your lips on his, opening your mouth for an invitation for his tongue, which he took, as you unclasped your bra in a swift motion. As if you've been prepared for this moment for ages. He allowed himself to leave your mouth for a few moments to remove his own shirt, letting you run your hands down his bare chest.

His hand traveled between your nearly connected bodies as he found your covered cunt, dragging his fingers up and down at an agonizingly leisured pace to feel your wetness grow more and more apparent under your jeans.

He didn't waste his time letting his mouth wander your body, pressing wet kisses onto your jawline, and to your neck. He softly sucked on the skin that rested under your nearly unhinged jaw, making you arch your back into him and release soft moans of pleasure. The taste of your sweet skin only made his shorts grow tighter and long for friction that only you could seem to solve.

He made his way to your breasts, suckling on your hardened nipple, which caused you to gasp from the release of tension that built ever since he laid his lips onto yours. His achingly slow pace only made you grow more heated.

His other hand worked at your other breast, making sure not to neglect it as he continued to swirl his tongue pleasurably around your nipple. He pressed soft kisses in the cave of your breasts, then down your torso as he made his way down to the waistband of your jeans.

His eyes met yours, as if he needed an "okay" to continue. You gave him a small smile, lifting your hips to aid him in removing your clothing all at once.

He made himself comfortable between your legs, admiring the perfect sight in front of him. You had spread your legs open for him already as your hips urged for him to touch you, to make any sort of movement towards your heat.

He pressed deep, open-mouthed kisses against the skin of your inner thighs, sucking softly and leaving your body completely in tune with his touch. Josh would drag his lips close enough to your wet cunt to tease you, leading you to believe he would move his mouth just a little more to finally dig into your wet pussy, only for him to drag his lips back up your thighs in retaliation to hear you grow more upset and needy for his mouth on your cunt.

He held your gaze as he dragged his finger up your slick slit, watching your mouth agape and release a soft moan.

"Please, please, Josh." You begged. Your quiet, whiny pleas had him wrapped around your finger, as his lips rested in a coy smile from your words that he longed to hear forever.

He hooked his hands onto your thighs and pressed a soft kiss onto your clit, then flattening his tongue to lap up your sweet nectar that tasted as close as it could to honey. He seemed ravenous, despite wanting to take his time with you. The moment the taste of you hit his tongue, he couldn't stop himself.

One hand found its way into his hair, another playing with your nipple as he continued to suck at your clit, flicking his eyes up at you as he teased your entrance with the tip of his index finger. He slowly inserted his middle finger into you, watching as your back arched whilst he curled it. His mouth worked wonders on you as he began to work his finger deliciously inside of your gummy walls.

“Shit, Josh.” You moaned out dragged syllables. Saying his name was a constant reminder that it was him who was laying between your legs and creating the tight knot in your stomach.

You tried to keep your moans to a low, but it was hard when this was the most pleasure you've ever felt. A sense of euphoric satisfaction as he entered another finger into your hole, building up your high quicker than you expected.

You tugged at your bottom lip as you watched him devour you. He was lost in the taste of you, sending his mind into an alternate state where only you mattered, and time ceased to exist. He hummed in approval and the vibrations had you bucking your hips into his mouth impulsively.

His movements slowed, making you whine from the loss of friction as he arose from the bed and slipped out of his shorts and his boxers. Your eyes watched as his cock sprung out, leaking with precum and throbbing with need.

He turned away from you for a moment and searched his drawers for a condom, finally saying "aha!" to himself and pulling one out.

You lightly giggled as he slipped it on, tugging at your bottom lip.

"What's so funny?" He smirked at you, one corner of his mouth raised to only partially reveal his teeth.

"Just funny how you had some in your drawer, that's all."

"Always gotta be prepared." He said, crawling on top of you and cradling your face into another kiss.

Your hand reached for his cock, pumping him to the best of your ability through the rubber. He shuttered, softly groaning into your ear as he placed more kisses onto your cheek.

His hand landed onto yours, lining himself up with you and taking another glance at you to make sure you were okay.

As your breathing was intensified, you gave him a small smile with a nod, and he slowly inserted himself into you. His head rolled back, and his eyes shut, he grasped onto your legs to wrap them around his waist, placing his hands on the sides of your head as he started a slow pace in and out of you with deep groans.

He stretched you out perfectly. Your nails digging into his back, you moaned his name loudly as he fully bottomed out into you, dragging himself in and out of you slowly.

"You're going to have to be quiet, mama. Can't have anybody hearing us." He breathed, placing a kiss on the side of your cheek.

All you could do was nod, bringing a hand to his head to grasp onto his curls. And that made him roll his eyes into the back of his head and grow a faster pace.

He thrusted into you at a steady, quick speed, making sounds of skin slapping against each other more apparent in the air. But you didn't care. Hell, you felt like you could barely hear because you were so focused on Josh hitting your sweet spot every time he entered back into you.

"Fuck, y/n." He hummed into your ear. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.”

“Yeah?” You whined back.

“God, yeah. Always have, mama. You feel so fucking perfect.” He groaned lowly, his voice shaky with sensational pleasure.

This new reality was something you always thought was out of reach. Something that only happens when you rest your head on your pillow and dream of. But hearing him say your name, telling you how amazing you are, how lovely you feel, made your senses heighten and permanently imprint into your brain that he was holding you close to his sweaty body, pumping in and out of you at a perfect pace and calling your name as a reminder that only you mattered in this moment. Only you were to ever make him feel this way.

The bed squeaked slightly as he rocked in and out of you, matching your hums and moans of approval with his own. All you could say were slurs of swears and his own name, that seemed so foreign to him and had his mind delirious over the thought of being in this exact position every chance he got.

His hand snaked between your bodies and found your clit, rubbing vigorously at the bud to send you to your release.

You bit the back of your hand as your body was at an all-time high, barely sitting at the tipping point.

"I'm so close, Josh, please." You squeaked behind your hand.

"Go ahead, cum for me, mama. Cum for me." He pleaded, his thrusts growing lazy as he was near his own orgasm.

Through hooded eyes, you watched as his face relaxed and tightened, thrusting into you deeply and harshly. All you could spit out was his name, pleas of “don’t stop” and “just like that”.

Your eyes squeezed shut, white flashing behind your eyes, your back arched as your orgasm rode throughout your veins and entire being. Your legs started to shake around him, your pussy squeezing him tighter than before around his hard cock. His hand abandoned your clit and rested onto the side of your torso as his knuckles turned white while he gripped onto the bedsheets to keep himself steady.

"Shit, Josh." You whimpered as his pace became unsteady, and he chased his own release.

"So close, fuck. Gonna cum." He croaked, digging his head into your shoulder as you scratched at his back and scalp.

The pleasurable pain ran throughout your body. It seemed that the only sense you had left in you was your hearing. You noticed his deep, throaty groans turned into bubbly whimpers as he chased his high, begging himself to finish and to finally feel the satisfactory ending he’s craved for so long.

He lazily brought a hand to your face, cupping it and forcing you to look at him as he lifted his face from your shoulder.

“Look at me, my good girl. Look at me, mama.” He swallowed, his lips fallen open as he breathed heavily.

And you did, snapping yourself out of your previously limp state to watch as he grew so close to releasing his hot ropes of cum. You found it in you to grip onto his hair, tugging and pulling in ways that you knew he adored. And God, he looked perfect under the moonlight, fully bare and vulnerable.

His hips faltered, he pumped into you with shaky legs, burying his head into your shoulder as he called your name with his own release. He thrusted into you once more to desperately try and drain himself fully, his breathing shaky.

And for a moment, he stayed inside of you, trying to catch his breath before making another move other than to kiss you and tell you how good it was in between breaths. He didn’t want to leave your body just yet. He wanted to savor this moment between you two, where you and him were finally connected as one.

He pushed himself up and pulled out of you, standing up as he rid the condom and coming back to you to hold your body close to his.

"Perfect, just perfect." He mumbled, placing a soft kiss on your head as you relaxed your body on top of his.

Your heaving chests collided, you rested your head on the beads of sweat that laid upon his toned chest.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean it? When you said you've always wanted this?" You lifted your head to look at him and saw his tired expression.

"Yeah, of course I did. Ever since I met you, actually. Always had something for ya. Thought it was pretty obvious." He shrugged with a smug grin.

"Not at all!" You giggled, placing your hand on top of his slick chest.

He smiled at you and helped you under the covers as you melted into each other's bare bodies once more, connecting with each other as a reminder that this was all a reality, and he was finally yours after years of seemingly hopeless dreams.

[asacredthebread]

Crimson Desires

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Josh Kiszka x f!reader - 18+

𝙴𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚎𝚢.

Warnings/Themes: BLOOD KINK, exploration, knife implication, penetration

wc; 3581

You found yourself in a dimly lit room, a space that seemed to hum with an electric tension. The air was thick with anticipation, and you could feel your heart racing in your chest. He stood before you, his distinctive brown mullet framing his face, the strands catching the faint light like flickering flames. His brown eyes, usually so warm and inviting, now held a glint of something deeper—something that made you both excited and slightly uneasy.

This wasn’t just another evening in your shared world; tonight was different. You both had decided to push boundaries, to explore a realm you had only teased at before, and the thrill of it made your skin prickle with a mix of fear and exhilaration. Josh took a step closer, the space between you charged with unspoken promises.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice low and steady, yet laced with a hint of vulnerability. You nodded, your gaze locking onto his, affirming your desire to embark on this journey together. As you watched him, you recognized the strength he drew from your shared trust; it gave him courage, and it fortified you too.

You had talked about a blood kink in abstract terms before, but now it was real—tangible and alive in the air around you. In the confines of your safe haven, with soft cushions and cascading shadows, you were ready to dive deeper into your desires.

As the first step, he suggested a simple act; a small prick, a hint of blood to awaken the senses and draw you both into that swirling abyss of pleasure and pain. You felt a flutter in your stomach as he retrieved a small, sharp object from the table and returned to your side. His fingers brushed against your skin, sending shivers racing along your spine.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, his eyes locking onto yours, searching for certainty. You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. You could see his dedication in the furrow of his brow, the way his lips pressed into a thin line as he steadied his hand.

“Yes,” you whispered, and that simple word seemed to ignite a fire between you. He pressed the object gently against your skin, and you closed your eyes, ready to accept the strange thrill of what was to come. The sharp sting was quick, followed by the warmth of your own blood trickling down. You felt a rush of adrenaline and something more—a release.

Josh’s eyes widened, not just in surprise but in admiration. He was captivated by your resolve, by the way you embraced this uncharted territory. The warmth from the small cut mingled with the heat radiating from your bodies, creating an intoxicating cocktail that made your pulse race.

He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “You’re incredible.” The praise sent a jolt of electricity through you, amplifying the sensations you were already experiencing. His lips brushed against your skin, tasting the metallic tang of blood; you could see the raw hunger in his gaze, a primal need ignited by the act.

With every kiss, every suck of your skin, the world around you faded. The intimacy deepened, the lines between pleasure and pain blurring beautifully until they were one and the same. You felt alive, vibrant, a burst of color in the muted hues of the room.

As the moments stretched on, the two of you lost yourselves in the exploration of boundaries, the thrill of desire and surrender tugging at your souls. You felt safe in the tempest of emotions, the trust you had forged illuminating the darkness surrounding this new adventure.

And there, in the embrace of your shared exploration, you both learned something vital: that vulnerability could bloom into strength. Together, you took the leap into the depths of desire, forever changing the landscape of your relationship and the way you viewed the boundaries of intimacy. In that dimly lit room, you were no longer just partners; you were explorers, conquerors of new frontiers woven together by misplaced courage, love, and the rhythm of your hearts beating as one.

In the warm, muted light of the room, the atmosphere became thicker, charged with a heady mix of desire and trust. The initial sting lingered on your skin, a reminder of your shared leap into this new realm. With each pulse of your heart, you felt the boundaries of pleasure and pain intertwining as Josh continued to explore the sensation.

He leaned in closer, his breaths warm against your freshly pricked skin, and you could see the wild excitement dancing in his brown eyes. With a low growl, he pressed his lips against the small wound, drawing a gasp from you. The quick, sharp intake of breath sent the blood rushing to your cheeks as he lingered there, his tongue gently tasting the metallic warmth. You felt both vulnerable and powerful, exposed and exhilarated.

"God, you taste incredible," he murmured, his voice gravelly and filled with an intensity that made your whole body tremble. You could hear the hunger in his tone, feel it vibrating between you, and it stirred something primal within yourself.

With your heart racing, you reached out to him, fingertips brushing against the curls of his brown mullet, guiding him closer still. Your body ached for his touch, a need ignited by his boldness. His hands moved like fire, trailing across your sides, possessing you, igniting every nerve ending with a sense of urgency.

“Tell me what you want,” he said, his voice low, almost a growl; you could feel his breath against your ear, sending thrilling shivers down your spine. The question held a weight, loaded with the promise of exploration and indulgence.

“Just… don’t stop,” you whispered, your own voice coming out bold yet breathless. And with that, he seemed to unleash something deep inside himself, the tension morphing into a torrid dance of passion.

He captured your mouth with his, the kiss fierce and fervent, a violent clash of lips as he pulled you closer, the scent of him intoxicating—you could smell hints of the outdoors, mixed with the sweetness of adrenaline and desire. You surrendered willingly, losing yourself in him as he tasted you, devoured you with a hunger that matched your own.

His hands explored, roaming beneath the hem of your shirt, the fabric slipping easily in his grasp. You gasped into the kiss as he traced the delicate curve of your waist, drawing you against him, feeling how your body responded in kind. The heat between you was consuming, and every touch was laced with a sense of urgency that electrified the air.

As the kiss deepened, the world around you faded until there was nothing but the two of you—lost in a tempest of sensation. With every languid stroke of his fingers against your skin, every delicate nip of his teeth, you felt the boundaries of your pleasure expand further still.

“More,” you encouraged, pulling him even closer, as if attempting to merge your bodies completely. The words came out like a plea, raw and desperate. Josh responded immediately, his lips trailing down your neck, following the path where blood had dribbled, kissing the warmth, licking it from your skin.

He responded with rapture, his hands moving with purpose. They found the clasp of your bra, deftly undoing it, exposing your skin to the cool air. A shiver ran through you as he took a moment to admire you, his eyes darkening with desire. You felt completely bared before him—vulnerable yet entirely alive.

“You’re stunning,” he said, his voice a low rumble, and in that moment, you felt like an exquisite treasure, a flame igniting within him. He lowered his mouth again, this time capturing one of your breasts with his warm mouth, swirling his tongue around your hardening nipple. You moaned softly, the sound of your pleasure echoed in the dim light, fuelling his fervor.

Beneath his ministrations, your senses heightened; the pleasure rose within you like an inevitable wave, crashing against the shores of your mind. You found yourself lost, surrendering completely to the tide of submission and ecstasy.

“Josh…,” you gasped, feeling your body arch into him as he continued his onslaught of sensation. The weight of your desires tangled together, each touch weaving a spell that kept you both entwined in this thrilling exploration of pleasure that seemed to stretch on forever.

With a deep kiss, he pulled you back towards him, your bodies colliding in a dance of skin against skin. He wanted to know you—every inch, every whisper, and every pulse. You felt the world pivot around you, transformed by the tension and release, by the trust that deepened with each shared secret.

And as he journeyed further into this new territory with you, you knew that you had crossed a threshold together, hand in hand, exploring the wild depths of your desires, forever changed by the intimate bond you were crafting under the flickering, intimate light of the room.

As the intensity of the moment increased, your bodies intertwined in a rhythm that felt both thrilling and sacred. You could feel every heartbeat, every whisper of breath exchanged between you—a silent conversation conducted entirely through desire. Josh’s hands roamed with an urgency that promised exploration and intimacy, and you found yourself arching into him, craving more of his touch.

“Tell me what you need,” he murmured between kisses, his voice thick with lust and a hint of command. The raw intimacy of the question sent a shiver down your spine, igniting every nerve in your body. You wanted to surrender completely to this moment, to let go of your inhibitions and plunge into the depths of your desires.

“I want to feel everything,” you replied, the words spilling from your lips as a desperate plea. “I want to explore… the pain, the pleasure. I want to push the boundaries together.”

His eyes darkened with intensity, a flicker of hunger sparking in the depths of his brown gaze. It ignited something primal within both of you—a raging fire that couldn’t be contained. With a gentle but firm grip, he guided you to lie back on the soft surface of the cushions, your heart racing as he hovered over you.

“Then let’s find out where this takes us,” he said, and the sound of his voice sent waves of anticipation rolling through you. Slowly, deliberately, he reached for the small object that had started your exploration, the sharp edge catching the soft light, and as he held it, you felt a rush of exhilaration mixed with a hint of trepidation.

With deliberate care, he pressed the object against your skin once more, just below your collarbone, a sharp sting followed by a warm trickle that sent pleasure spiraling through your body. You gasped, a floodgate of sensations bursting open as he traced the small line of blood with his fingers.

“Such a gorgeous response,” he murmured, his voice husky with desire. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your skin, tasting the warmth, and the intimacy of the act sent a surge of excitement thrumming through your veins. You could feel the heat pooling low in your belly, a deep ache of longing that begged for release.

In that moment, every tension from your body melted away, replaced by a primal instinct that urged you forward. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him into you, a silent demand for more, for deeper connection. Your fingers tangled in his hair, urging him to explore further, to taste every inch of you as you spiraled deeper into this new dance.

With every kiss and lick, he brought you closer to the precipice, the line between ecstasy and agony blending into one euphoric sensation. He experimented, plunging deeper into the exploration of your desires, each movement pushing and pulling at the edges of your pleasure.

The sensations danced beyond mere physicality; it was a bonding, a weaving together of your souls, a tapestry of trust that was becoming richer with every drop of blood he drew and every moan of delight you breathed into the air. He took his time, his exploration unhurried yet fervent, savoring each taste, each inhalation of your essence.

“More,” you breathed again, your voice a mix of desperation and longing. You could feel the heat emanating from both of you, the energy crackling in the air like static before a storm. Josh obliged, moving closer, his body hovering right above yours as he adhered to your every need with a fervor that made your heart race.

He brought the object back, this time tracing a delicate line along your thigh, and your breath hitched as the sensations ricocheted through you. Your body responded instinctively, your skin alive with warmth as he drew the softest whimpers from your lips.

“Good, just like that,” he encouraged, his voice rough as he reveled in your reactions. He pressed more firmly, the sting mingling with waves of pleasure, a intoxicating cocktail that blurred the edges of reality.

You could feel the heat blooming deep inside you, igniting with every stroke of his tongue, every gentle bite. You closed your eyes, feeling your senses heighten, the world around you drifting away until there was only the two of you, lost in this relentless journey of pleasure and exploration.

As the moments stretched into an eternity, you surrendered completely—body, heart, and soul—lost in the delicious intensity of the connection between you. You could feel the impending release beginning to build within you, a powerful wave rising higher with each passing touch, each heartbeat.

With a passionate kiss, he pulled you closer, his body diving deeper into this world you were creating together. You whispered his name like a mantra, lost in the thrill of the moment as you spiraled toward the edge. The world around you faded completely, the only reality being your shared breaths, your entwined bodies, the exquisite sensations capturing your consciousness.

And as you finally succumbed to the bliss, cresting the wave that you had built together, it was with that overwhelming sense of trust and intimacy that you found yourself completely engulfed in ecstasy—two souls intertwined, exploring every inch of each other’s desires and tastes—the journey always leading back to each other.

As the waves of ecstasy slowly receded, you found yourself enveloped in a haze of warmth and blissful surrender. The world around you began to come back into focus as Josh held you close, the rhythmic beating of his heart syncing perfectly with your own. You could feel the aftershocks of pleasure coursing through your body, gentle pulses of delight still lingering in the aftermath as you nestled against him.

He brushed your hair away from your face with tender fingers, his gaze softening as he admired you in the dim light. There was an intimacy in his eyes that made your heart swell, a connection that transcended beyond the physical exploration you had just shared. “You okay?” he asked, his voice low and full of warmth, filled with genuine care.

You nodded, a smile breaking across your face as you caught your breath. “More than okay,” you murmured, the weight of the experience settling in, leaving you feeling blissfully spent yet utterly fulfilled. The fleeting moments of vulnerability had transformed into a reassuring sense of security.

Josh shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow to get a better look at you. He brushed his thumb gently against your cheek, the tenderness of the gesture making your heart flutter. “I’m really glad we did this,” he said, his thumb now trailing down your neck, where the warmth still lingered from the intensity of the preceding moments.

“I am too,” you replied, surprise mingling with sincerity in your voice. It was more than just the physical connection; it was the depth of trust that enveloped both of you. “It felt… so right.”

As you both found a comfortable position, he pulled you into a more secure embrace, cradling you against his chest. You listened to the familiar sound of his heartbeat—an intoxicating lullaby that seemed to soothe the edges of the frantic energy you’d both released.

“Do you want some water?” he asked softly, still cradling you closely, as if ensuring you felt safe and cherished. The thought of a cool drink seemed enticing, but the warmth of his body against yours was too comforting to leave just yet.

“Maybe in a little bit,” you replied, your voice still a bit breathy. Instead, you shifted closer, ensuring your bodies remained entwined. The closeness felt electric but reassuring, an afterglow that spoke of shared experiences and deepening intimacy.

The silence stretched comfortably, punctuated only by the soft sounds of your breathing—each inhale filled with the lingering scent of him, a comforting mixture of his cologne and the warmth of your skin. As your heart rate began to slow, you felt the quietude wrap around you like a warm blanket.

After a moment, he broke the silently shared solace. “You know, I love that we can explore like this,” he said, his voice laced with sincerity. “It’s rare to find someone you can share all of this with… to be so open and free with.”

You melted further into him, feeling a profound sense of connection bloom between you. “I feel the same way,” you admitted, a shy smile spreading across your lips. “It’s liberating… to feel so safe and understood. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it.”

His eyes glimmered with affirmation. “We can keep exploring if you want,” he offered, the prospect of further intimacy igniting a spark of curiosity. “But only if you’re comfortable. Aftercare is just as important as everything that happened before.”

You could see the sincerity in his gaze; it reassured you that your comfort and desires would always come first. “What do you mean by aftercare?” you asked, genuinely curious about the next step to take.

Josh took a deep breath, his brow furrowing slightly as he considered his words. “It means taking the time to reconnect, to allow our bodies and minds to settle back into the present. It’s about continuing to care for each other after we’ve given so much,” he explained, his fingers still tracing small circles on your back.

His words resonated deeply within you, the importance of aftercare suddenly apparent. “That sounds nice,” you remarked softly. “What did you have in mind?”

With a playful smile, he shifted, pulling you with him so that you laid side-by-side. He rummaged through the nearby drawer, producing a small soft blanket that he draped over both of you, the fabric a cool comfort against your flushed skin.

“First, we can share some water,” he stated, his eyes glinting with mischief. He reached for a bottle from the bedside table, unscrewing the cap before taking a long sip. Then, he held it out to you, his eyes watching you intently. “Your turn.”

Taking a sip, the cool liquid washed over you, refreshing and grounding. As you handed the bottle back, you suddenly felt shy under his gaze, but his expression held nothing but warmth. With a playful smirk he brushed a few loose strands of hair behind your ear, the gesture gentle and intimate.

“Next, some cuddles,” he proposed with an inviting grin. You couldn’t help but return the smile as he enveloped you within his embrace, wrapping you tightly in his warmth. The world around you faded away again, the intimacy of the moment filling every space in the room.

Lying against him, you savored the softness of his touch, the way his fingers found their way back to stroking your hair, down your back, working to soothe you. “You did so well,” he murmured, his voice wrapped around you as if lulling you into a serene state. “I’m proud of you for being brave and open with me.”

Your heart swelled; you basked in his praise and felt cherished in a way you hadn’t expected. “Thank you,” you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper. The honesty in his words created a bubble of safety, allowing you to relax even further into the tranquility of the moment.

As the minutes turned to hours, the atmosphere settled into a gentle rhythm filled with quiet laughter and soft conversations. You exchanged stories, sharing glimpses of your pasts that only deepened your bond. Each moment felt like a thread weaving the fabric of your connection tighter, crafting something beautiful and profound.

In those soft hours, you both explored the nuances of each other’s desires, boundaries, and dreams—each confession nurturing the intimacy that had blossomed between you. Glances became lingering, fingers entwined as warmth enveloped you, turning shared vulnerability into reassuring strength.

Eventually, as the first light of dawn began to filter through the curtains, washing the room in golden hues, you found yourself basking in the gentle aftermath of everything you had shared. The world beyond faded, leaving just the two of you entwined in each other’s arms, hearts open, promises exchanged in the language of touch.

In that serene moment, wrapped in warmth, you realized that what had begun as simple exploration had transformed into something infinitely more—a connection you were both eager to nurture as you navigated this uncharted territory together. And as the sun rose high, brightly heralding a new day, you knew you would face it together, hand in hand.

[samkiszkasfacialhair]

Choose the Road (Masterlist)

Between seas, galaxies, and moons.

I truly was lucky.

I stepped on the same land,

and dreamed under the same stars,

as you.

Pairing: Sam Kiszka and Female Reader

Summary: A coming of age story about Sam Kiszka’s first love.

Warnings: Warnings will be posted with each chapter.

Word Count: (Entire fic) 39k

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:

[joshym]

No Hands: Part 2

Pairings: Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

Summary: You had your turn, now it's his.

Word Count: 3k+

Read part one.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY mentions of poor body image, light bondage, use of mouth gag, fingering, oral (f!rec), unprotected p in v sex, a little degradation, some slight edging, overstimulation, slight choking, squirting, lots of dirty talk, some fluff, Joshs white satin scarf (please let me know if I missed anything, lol)

a/n: the first part of this little story had me in chokehold (pun intended) & I knew I had to continue it.

so, with that said,

ENJOY.

“Put this on. You have five minutes. I’ll be right back.”

He dug down deep in your closet to find it. The thing that makes him lose all sensibility, that brings out the feral animal in him that fucks you until you’re near tears.

The dress. 

The one that gets you in trouble. The good kind.

He’s home on a quick break from tour, and every night has been full of passion and desire for one another. 

He leaves again tomorrow morning, so you know he’s got something quite special planned for you on this last night together at home.

You quickly put it on as soon as he leaves the room, looking at yourself in the mirror. Your body has always made you a little insecure, but the way this dress fits you…it’s no wonder Josh can’t keep composure. The most beautiful parts of your body are accentuated, and you especially love the fact that the hem barely hits your upper thighs. 

Josh has never been shy of expressing his undying love for you, for your body. He practically worships you, kissing the ground on which you walk after each step you take. He makes you feel like a divine being among mortals. The attention he gives to your body, and the extra attention he gives to the things you don’t love about it…how you could ever doubt your beauty is beyond his way of thinking.

You sit on the edge of the bed as you await your lover, thinking about the way he looked today against the sun. 

He’d spent all day outside putting together your new backyard furniture and as you brought him drinks, you couldn’t help but admire him. How his honey skin was glowing in the rays, how the peach fuzz on his chest sparkled as sweat droplets glistened and caught the light, and how each goosebump beautifully decorated his skin when he poured water on his head to cool off. 

God, he’s beautiful. Fucking immaculate. And he’s yours. 

You hear his feet padding up the stairs. Your heart begins racing as you know you’re in for it due to his special choice of wardrobe for you.

As he makes his way through the door frame, you stand up to put yourself on display for him in his favorite dress of yours.

He stands there for a moment, drinking you in. 

His hands hold a beautiful white, silken scarf. 

Your heart skips a beat as you’re flooded with a memory. 

“Maybe next time, you’re the one that can’t use your hands. Maybe we tie them behind your back. How does that sound, hm?”

“Fuck, sweetheart. A sight for sore eyes, you are. Spin around for me, baby. Let me get a good look at you.”

You slowly turn your body, lifting your dress slightly so your ass cheeks just barely peek out the bottom.

“That’s my good girl. Always love to give me a little show, yeah? Perfect. Fucking perfect.” he says as he walks up to you.

He cups your face with one hand while the other drags the scarf along your thighs. 

“Look what I have for you. A pretty scarf for my pretty girl who is such a slut for me and my hands.”

He takes your bottom lip between his teeth, biting almost hard enough to draw blood as he swallows your every moan.

“Remember your little game?” 

“Yes, Joshy..” you say, your voice soft with lust and need.

“Remember what I promised you?”

“Yes, baby.”

“And what was my promise?”

He grabs your jaw, turning your face up to meet his.

“That you’re going to tie my hands behind my back, so I can’t use them.”

“That’s right, my darling.” 

His hand moves from your jaw to the pulse point of your neck, squeezing it deliciously before he lifts you up and puts you on the bed.

He stands there looking at you all laid out for him, marveling at you while he bites his bottom lip. His eyes are heavy, so full of desire for you that your heart swells as you feel like the most beautiful creature in his presence. 

You spread your legs just a little, but enough to reveal that you opted out of anything underneath the dress. 

“No panties, huh?” he says through the grin adorning his luscious lips. “My dirty, sluty girl.”

“I’m not sluty.” 

“Yes, yes you are, darling. A slut for me.”

You can’t even deny him, and your cheeks flush at his words.

You are a slut for him. His slut. You’d do anything he’d ask you, and he knows it.

He puts the silk scarf around his neck before slowly crawling up your body. He attaches his plush lips your chest, licking up to your collar bone that he grazes with his teeth. 

“You’ll let me know if it’s too much, okay?” he says softly against your ear.

You’re too caught up in the way he feels to be able to respond, so you simply nod your head to let him know you understand.

He removes the scarf from around his neck, dragging it across your lips, down your chest, descending further to embrace every curve of your body. The soft satin like honey gliding across your warm skin as it melts into you with its gentle touch.

He dips it slowly between your legs, pulling on it ever so slightly as it skates across your drenched core.

Your body weakens with each pull of the scarf, becoming encompassed with red hot desire as the fabric lightly tugs on your throbbing clit.

He sits up on his knees between your legs.

"Hands."

You obey, putting your arms in front of you, fingers intertwined together.

He kisses each wrist as he begins tying the scarf around them. Dark eyes full of lust and need locked with yours.

One knot, two knots...

He pulls on it, ensuring it’s tight enough.

“Feel okay, darling?” 

“It’s perfect.” 

Your voice is noticeably shaky. This is new territory for you, but the thought of being inhibited this way, giving him all the control while you haven’t the use of your hands…it’s elating.

He places sweet kisses down your arms, moving to your hips as he plays with the floral fabric hugging you.

“Fuck…I will never get enough of this little ensemble on you…” 

He begins bunching the fabric up your hips, knuckles white from the grip he has.

“...and I’ll never get tired of fucking you in it.”

His head dips down as you feel his breath against your wetness, causing you to buck your hips into his face to chase any sort of contact. 

He places his hand on your hip to hold you still.

“Patience, my dear. I’ll give you what you want.”

You reach your tied hands down to grip his hair, when he suddenly lifts away from you.

“Well, this simply won’t do.”

He unties your wrists.

“These need to be behind you. Don’t want them getting in the way, now do we?”

You lift up, moving your arms behind and allowing him to secure them before you lay back down.

With your hands now behind you, being held down by your own weight on your back, you truly are helpless against his will.

He returns to his position between your legs, kissing your thighs as you squirm under him. 

Out of instinct, you attempt to move your arms, realizing you can’t.

He feels you tense up. “Hm, seem to have found yourself in a little predicament, darling?”

Something about losing the ability to use your hands, how it nearly leaves you fully to his whim. He can do whatever he wants to you, and you’re going to fucking let him.

He looks up at you with hungry eyes. He wants it as bad as you do, but he’s loving taunting you, feeling your body trembling beneath him, making you desperate for him.

He giggles at your state, lips just out of reach from where you crave them the most.

“You want it? Want me to taste you?”

“Please, Josh…I want it so bad.”

“Hm, I’m not convinced. Need you to be a little more detailed.” he says as he licks along your inner thigh.

He wants you to beg. And you’ll do whatever it takes. Your need for him grows by the second.

“Please taste me, baby. I’m so fucking ready for you…please, I need you so bad. Need to feel your tongue on me. Need you to suck me, eat me, anything baby please, I can’t handle it.”

“Ah, there she is. That sweet voice begging for me to do such filthy things.”

He nudges your clit with his nose before fucking into you with his tongue, lapping inside of you, keeping his nose pressed against your clit as it follows the movements of his tongue.

His strong hands have a tight hold on your hips to keep you still. He feels you continue to tense under him, knowing how badly you want to move. He groans into you and the vibrations of his voice add another layer of intensity and hurl you closer and closer to your sweet release.

“Josh, Josh oh my god…fuck it feels so fucking good I’m-I’m so close Josh FUCK…”

He smiles against your swollen pussy as his tongue is buried inside of you.

Your stomach is tightening, your skin on fire and drenched with sweat. You’re suddenly very much aware of the fact that you can’t use your hands and it’s near torture to not be able to pull his hair and force his face even harder into you. 

His lips close around your clit, sucking it into his mouth, forcing the knot in your belly to break instantly. You scream incoherencies, your body almost entirely numb. 

“There you go, darling, there you go.”

He works you through it perfectly, bringing you back to earth with gentle kisses to your throbbing clit.

He lifts his head up. His lips swollen and pink, glistening wet from you.

“Goddamn, y/n…” he moves to kiss you, sticking his tongue deep in your mouth to give you a taste of yourself. “...you are fucking delectable, aren’t you? I could stay between those pretty legs all fucking day, make you cum just like that over and over again.”

You whimper in his mouth as he swallows every sound you make.

“Josh, please…I want to touch you…”

“Awh, my sweet girl can’t play her own game, can she?”

You want to run your hands all over him. His skin that’s sticky with perspiration, his muscles that tense under your fingers, you need to feel him. 

The corner of his mouth curls up in his tantalizing smile that sends a pool of wetness flooding to your core. “I got this pretty scarf just for you, darling. It’d be such a shame to not use it somewhere.”

You bite your lip hard in anticipation of whatever his sinister mind is brewing. 

“Should we shove it in your gorgeous mouth?”

Fuck. The thought alone has you tightly clamping your thighs together in need of any sort of friction.

“Oh. You liked that, didn’t you?” 

He gently lifts you up, brushing your messy hair down with his fingers before carefully untying your binds.

“Joshy…” 

“Yes, darling?”

Your freed hands instantly latch onto his body. Feeling all over his toned frame, pulling him closer to lick up his stomach to his gorgeous pecs, kissing his hardened nipple. He throws his head back as a beautiful moan sounds from his throat. 

“I want you to gag me with it, Josh.” You flick his nipple with your tongue before sitting up on your knees, looking him in his lust laden eyes. “I want you to fuck me with it shoved down my throat.” 

He grips your hips hard, pulling your body against his. “You dirty, sluty little girl. Your wish is my command, my queen.”

He kisses you deeply, then brings the scarf up to your mouth. “Open, my darling.”

You open your mouth, tongue laid out flat as he slowly shoves the silk all the way inside. You feel the material slide closer and closer to the back of your throat, triggering your gag reflex as he fits the rest of it inside. 

“That feel okay, my love?” 

Having lost yet another ability, this time the one to speak, you simply nod.

“You’re so filthy, my pretty girl.” He shoves his hand between your legs, fingers dipping inside of you and bringing them to your swollen clit. “Your sweet cunt all soaked from having a gag in your mouth, yeah? God, I fucking love you.” 

He turns you around, keeping you up on your knees as you face away from him. His hands reach around, pulling your dress up to your lower belly, fingers gripping your hips as he pulls your ass against him.

“Ready for my cock, darling?” 

You nod and whine around the balled up scarf. He pulls his shorts down, his hard dick nudging your lower back. You can feel the precum against you and you’re wishing you could wrap your lips around his head to gather it up.

He wraps his hand around your throat as his dick teases your desperate pussy. You want, no, you need him inside. You need to feel the burning stretch of him so badly. You grind your dripping cunt against him, trying anything to force him inside. 

You hear him ‘tsk’ in your ear. “I love your needy little cunt.” 

He toys with you a bit longer before finally shoving himself all the way inside in one hard thrust. 

You’re nearly screaming against the satin filling your mouth. The sting of his cock is a welcome pain as you finally feel full of him.

He starts slow, pumping himself at an excruciating pace to hear the lewd, wet sounds of his cock sliding in and out of you. “Listen to that, baby. Your sweet, wet cunt singing for my cock. The most beautiful sound.”

He sends a rather harsh thrust into you that nearly causes you to double over. 

He fucks into you harder, his hand still firm on your throat as his fingers of the other dig in to your hip. 

You want to scream his name. You want to tell him how fucking good he feels. But all you can do is whimper, scream and sob. And that you do.

He changes his pace as he swivels his hips, his cock pressed up against your sweet spot.

“You’re close, darling. This sweet pussy is getting so tight around me. You’re gonna make a mess, aren’t you?”

He knows you can’t talk, and he knows how bad you want to. Muffled moans are all you can muster as you're once again on the verge of release. 

“Come on, darling. Need to feel you cum pretty for me. All over my cock, sweet baby.”

He moves his hand from your throat, tracing down your body until the pads of his fingers find your clit. He flicks the hardened nub with his index finger, sending you crashing head first into your peak. 

Your body spasms. Your every extremity tingling. His name is the only word coming to the forefront of your mind, and you want to scream it from the top of your lungs.

He continues to relentlessly fuck you, chasing his own release. 

He reaches up to pull the scarf from your mouth. “Talk to me baby, let me hear that beautiful voice.”

“FUCK Josh! Josh oh my FUCK!” is all you can manage as you’re nearing overstimulation, but unable to care as your body is close to driving over the edge yet again.

“You’re gonna cum again, aren’t you? Sweet cunts been so spoiled today, hasn’t she?”

His voice is strained and breathy, telling you he’s nearing his end as his thrusts become sloppy. 

“Give it to me, baby. Fuck I need it so bad, y/n.”

The dam within you breaks, dousing his cock, your thighs, the bed sheets beneath you. 

He grabs hold of the strap of your dress, ripping it as he pounds himself into you.

“Holy fuck, y/n!” 

He thrusts into you a few more times before shooting his warm cum inside you, coating you deliciously.

You’re both breathless, exhausted in your fucked out states.

He pulls out of you slowly. You feel your wet release mixed with his instantly dripping down your thighs.

He gently lays you down on your back as he kisses you back to life.

“Oh my god, y/n.” he says with his lips against your chest. “You are so fucking magnificent. I can’t…I can’t believe how fucking glorious you are, my sweet baby.” 

You’re too worn to speak, so you simply smile and run your fingers through his sweaty hair. 

He lifts up to take hold of the scarf, bringing it down to clean the mess you both have made off of you. You wince a little at the contact, and he continues with a careful hand. 

He sets it next to you on the bed before laying down and pulling you on top of him as he continuously kisses your head, holding the torn strap of your dress in his hand.

You snicker in his chest, to which he hums in question.

“I think you may have actually broken me this time. Well, the dress, at least.”

He laughs while investigating the frayed fabric between his fingers.

“I don’t need this ratty, old thing. You’re fucking perfect. My beautiful, wonderful girl.”

The warmth of his arms pulls you into a deep sleep and he soon follows in suit.

You awake the next morning to him shuffling around the house. The band has their next performance tomorrow night and he has a flight to catch this morning. To no surprise, he’s running late.

“Can I help you with anything, Josh?” you say with sleep still laced on your voice. 

He finishes getting dressed, quickly making his way over to you to kiss you goodbye. You’re excited because you’ll be able to come to this show, but you’ll have to take a later flight as you have to get a few things sorted out at work first.

“No, I think I’ve got everything.” 

He packs the last few items in his suitcase, and just before he shuts it, he grabs the bunched up scarf sitting next to you on the bed and shoves it inside his luggage. 

“And just what do you think you’re doing with that?”

“This is coming with me. Who knows, I may even wear it on stage. Use it for good luck.” he says with a wink.

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Uncharted Territory II

A/N: Surprise! You guys asked for it so here it is. This is literally the fastest turnaround I've ever had on a piece. I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think! (Also, this is the smile/smirk I'm talking about...you'll know what I mean as you read further)

Part I

Warnings: SMUT. DNI if you are under 18. 18+ content only

Word Count: 7.8k+

Rules are rules. They serve a purpose to bring order to a world filled to the brim with chaos. Even when rules aren’t explicitly laid out, there are some loose ones that still bring some sense of structure. That’s why they’re there. 

Which is also why they are so incredibly fun to break. 

Being a rule breaker wasn’t your thing, still isn’t if you’re being totally honest. Yet, when you get to do it with him it’s an adrenaline rush. A high that nothing can be compared to that even the strongest illicit materials couldn’t match. A thrill that starts at the very top of your head and spreads down to the tips of your toes. 

It happens whenever his hands land on you. Especially in times when they shouldn’t be. For example, last night at the band dinner. You were seated directly next to your boss, his brothers and their own assistants in other seats, some other tour members there as well. It started simple, his fingertips lightly brushing the smooth skin on the back of your hand. 

Nothing that would’ve been noticed. 

Playing it cool as his touch grew deeper than the featherlight one he had been teasing you with. Moving from your hand to your bare knee. Opting for a dress this evening proved to be a good choice. Or was it? 

His hand splayed across the skin, the table cloth covering any and all movements from the others. Your breathing was fluctuating despite your best efforts to keep it steady and even. When his hand continued its trek up wards, landing extremely high on the inside of your thigh, you coughed into your drink.

Bob’s hand landing harshly on your back as you did. “Don’t go choking on me now, kiddo,” you shot him a tight lipped smile, seeing the amusement dancing in the eyes of Josh. He never did remove his hand that night. 

When you got back to the hotel room, it was in the dead of night when you heard your door open. You were already up and waiting for him. He wasted little time as he undressed on his way over to you, giggles mixing in with his words. “I thought you were gonna squeal at dinner, birdie girl. You did good, I was pleasantly surprised.”

Humming into his mouth, plush lips hastily meeting yours, you could feel the vibrations of his laughter. “You need to give me more credit then that, Mr. Kiszka,” as those words left your mouth, one of his hands that cradled the back of your neck moved upward, grabbing a fistful of hair and tugging your head back with a gasp.

“Prove it to me.”

And that was just one of the incidents. 

These were a regular occurrence now between you two. Anytime Josh could be physical with you, in what way it didn’t seem to matter, he would. A flat palm against your lower back as you walked through a crowd together. Showing him something on your phone, he would stand as close to you as he could, all limbs rubbing against each others. Never staying in his hotel room anymore, opting for yours and your bed any chance he could.

It was a habit to get two keys for your own room now. One for you and one for him. He would wait until he was certain everyone had been confined to their own rooms for the evening, then you would hear the beep of the door lock signaling his arrival, seconds later you would be entangled with him for the rest of the evening. An alarm would go off at five in the morning, he would slink back to his room, reappear just a few hours later like he had been there the entire time.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Work carried on the same. Taking your job and responsibilities extremely seriously, Josh not interfering with that, mostly, and then sprinkling in fun when you could. Did an odd feeling worm its way into your gut every once in a while as you would observe him from across the room? 

That is your boss! What the hell are you doing? This isn’t going to end well. You know it won’t. Stop it now before it gets worse!

Not exactly. It didn’t matter anyways because those thoughts were always quelled almost as quickly as they came. All in part to how incredibly sweet he was. Showing you affection in subtle, and not so subtle, ways. 

Last week as you checked in to a hotel, the receptionist informed you that there was already a delivery waiting for you. A large bouquet of flowers sat on the back desk and when she handed them to you, you could feel the rise in heat creeping onto your cheeks and neck. A chorus of oh’s and ah’s flowed from the group, Sam pestering you about who sent them.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I feel best when I’m in bed with you. And some other sweet crap, too. -J

Biting back laughter at the absurd note, fighting the urge to roll your eyes, your gaze fell to him standing at the back of the group. The apples of his cheeks turning a light pink, eyes darting down to his dirty shoes, unable to hold the contact. 

“Don’t worry about it nosey!” Sam grumbled as you pulled the card closer to your chest, not letting him see whatever the message read. It held a smile on your face the remainder of the day. When you heard your door unlock that night, instead of waiting on the bed for him, you stood by the desk where the flower arrangement sat. 

Grabbing a flower from the bunch and playing with it in your fingers, you fought off a grin, the other hand holding the card. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I feel best when I’m in bed with you,” eyes bouncing up to see his cocky smirk decorating his lips, you continued, “and some other sweet crap, too. J.”

Sighing, over dramatically and falling to the bed with a bounce, clutching the two items to your torso, you giggled. “You really know how to treat a lady, Mr. Kiszka.” He collapsed next to you, resting his head on his palm, peering down at you. “Only the best for my birdie.”

As his lips began an attack on your neck, the flower and card fell from your hands, going to tangle into his locks. Eyes slipping shut as the heavenly feeling of his wandering hands began, you had never felt so content. 

Your boss. This is your boss. Now he’s sending presents? You’re crossing a line. 

Thoughts diminishing as his hands slipped under your t-shirt, feeling the bare warm skin greeting him underneath, already reacting with excitement at his welcome. 

His fingers pinched your perked nipples, continuing further up and removing the shirt from your frame. Lips attaching to your breast, your back arched into him. A gasp echoed out into the quiet room. Hardly able to keep your eyes open as he pressed his hardening cock against your core, you moaned. 

“Josh, please.” His smirk met you, teeth pulling at your lip as he teased you. “Please what, baby? Use your words.” You didn’t even care how needy you sounded, just wanting him. “You, anything, please.”

His lips landed softly between your brows on the wrinkled skin there. “I’m going to take care of you, sweet girl. Don’t worry.” And he did. Entirely abandoning his own care for the first half of the evening, you were on the verge of black out as he brought you to finish after finish.

By the time he was ready to go with you, you were a limp mess. Only a form of pleases falling from you, drunk on the feelings holding firm. The sheets a soaked through mess, bodies sticking together as he held you, your slick coating both of your bodies from your dripping core. 

You weren’t sure you were going to be able to walk the next day, but you didn’t care. You would let him do anything to you as long as it was Josh doing it. Not a care in the world as long as you were with him.

Things continued to grow further along those lines, crossing over from a casual fling to a romantic entanglement. Not just from his side. 

You were doing a check of the venue before the show that evening, going through the checklist you had memorized long ago when you heard one of the stagehands whispering to a coworker, peaking your interest. 

“Yeah dude, he cut it all. It’s like a fauxhawk mohawk thing.” Immediately listening to attempt to figure out who they were talking about, your mind instantly went to your boss. Yet, this could be a Danny move. He is going through a total rebranding right now. Odd move for him though. 

“Sides totally shaved, permed of course.” Permed. Josh. He cut his hair? When the hell did he do that? Was it on his schedule? Son of a bitch went rogue. That means he skipped something this afternoon because it was a jammed day.

Pulling out the schedule for the day, your eyes skimmed all the tasks he needed to complete, trying to figure out what he could have missed. Irritation starting to seep into you, it came to a halt when you heard the man's next words. “He looks like a moron. It’s like a weird mullet thing. Looks terrible,” turning and facing the guy, you walked over to him, a sickly sweet smile adorning your face. 

“Hi! I don’t believe we’ve met,” sticking your hand out for a shake, the guy hissed at the firm grip you offered, eyes wide in confusion. “I’m Mr. Josh Kiszka’s assistant. I would just like to offer a gentle reminder to watch your words and attitudes whilst at work. You never know who’s listening and speaking ill of your boss,” placing a heavy emphasis on the word, you watched as he thickly swallowed, “is not a wise choice. Now, I know these cases do not belong in this area. If you could get them to their correct location I would greatly appreciate it.”

They didn’t hesitate, quickly turning and grabbing the ones you pointed to, loading them on a cart and began pushing it. Offering a small apology as they hustled away from you. When a laugh behind you startled you, turning to see the signature hat, you smiled at him.

“Standing up for Josh. Very nice,” your eyes slightly narrowed, his voice dripping with an insinuation. “Of course, Mr. Kiszka. Given he is my boss and theirs I would do it for any of you in a heartbeat.” His eyes rolled at your words, a smirk tugging at his lips. 

Walking past you, his hand patted your shoulder, leaning ever so lightly towards you to lower his voice. “You keep telling yourself that.” Before you could speak again, his new permed due came from around the corner.

A large smile on his face, trying to nonchalantly walk towards you as you giggled at his moves. “Looking great, sir.” Leaning against a wall, his eyebrows shot up, looking around to see if you were talking to him. His finger pointed at himself as he spoke. 

“Oh, me? Thank you, thank you. Groupies are gonna go crazy for it,” your lips pushed into your mouth, trying to stifle your laughter, clipboard resting in front of you. “Of course, sir.” 

He quickly looked around, moving closer to you, you meeting him halfway. His hands landed on your hips, tugging you closer to him, chin tilted down as a lazy smile grew on his face. 

Your favorite smile. The one he knew drove you crazy. Where it was so effortless and showcased his features beautifully. It made your knees weak. Somehow looking even better with the new hair.

Nudging his nose into your cheek, his lips crested on the shell of your ear sending a chill down your spine. “What about my favorite groupie? Digging me still?” 

You could hardly get a response out, overwhelmed by the all encompassing energy of Josh. His cologne filling your senses, his cocky attitude, that stupid grin on his perfect lips, hands resting so firmly on your hips. You wanted to devour him.

Your own arms wrapped around his middle, leaning back to get a better view. There was no chance of letting him off that easily. As easy as he knew you felt right now. “It’ll take some time to get used to, Mr. Kiszka.” 

He hummed, nodding at your words. Mouth going back towards your side, voice dropping as he spoke. “Say my name, birdie.” The assertive tone he spoke in had you melting into a pool at his feet. Instantly becoming putty for him to meld with his own hands.

“Whatever you say, Mr. Kiszka.” His smirk grew, tongue caressing his teeth as he eyed you. “That's how we’re playing this?” You only blinked at him, offering nothing else in return.

His hands retreated from you despite only wanting to remain in his embrace for the rest of time, your body erupting in goosebumps at his next statement. 

“Be in my dressing room in five minutes.” 

When you got to the door, Josh was waiting on the other side for you. Shutting it behind you with one last look around to make sure the coast was clear, his palm landed directly next to your head, caging you in. 

Pushing your hair to the side, crotch pressing into your ass, you felt his breath fan across the back of your neck. “Good girl. Doing exactly as I say,” your eyes shut, swallowing a shaky breath. “Of course, Mr. Kiszka.” His hand wrapped around your locks, tugging your head back.

The sharp tip of his nose traced your pulse point, running up and down your exposed neck. “Say my name.” Not giving in, his lips pursed on the warm skin. Nipping at the flesh, eliciting a hiss from you, he didn’t relent on his grip.

With you still pressed soundly against the door, you heard his zipper on his jumpsuit coming undone. “Pull down your pants. Now.” Confusion rippled through you at the order, but you did as he said. “No, underwear stays up.” Your hands faltered, hearing the husky nature of his voice, but putting your panties back in place. 

“You want to play the quiet game with me? That’s fine, mama,” your breathing grew shallower as you felt the bare skin of his cock rub against the inside of your thigh, precum painting you from his weeping tip, “but I’m going to fuck you right here. And you need to be utterly silent. Not a peep. Otherwise everyone out there will hear you and know what’s happening in here.”

Your eyes went wide as you felt the crotch of your panties move to the side, rubbing harshly against your clit. The tip of him broke your entrance, a moan tumbling from you. He removed himself as quickly as he had gone in. A rough tug of your hair brought you back.

“What did I say? Not. A. Peep.” At the end of his sentence, he fully seated himself in your cunt. Nearly collapsing onto the door, one arm wrapped around your waist, effectively holding you up. Biting down on your tongue to not let a singular noise out, you struggled to keep your eyes open. 

Josh wasted no time, effectively pounding into you, your legs slowly parting further and further with each thrust. His own feet kicked yours back into place, struggling to speak through his own panting breath. “Keep your feet still. Don’t let them move, understand?” You nodded, a whimper falling from you moments later.

His large hand slapped over your mouth, wide eyes staring into your own heavy lidded ones. “Can’t keep quiet, birdie girl? That’s fine. Say my name then.” Refusing to give in, your forehead rested on the cool thin door. Hand splayed on it to steady yourself with the punishing pace, you could feel your orgasm approaching. 

With a few flutters of your walls, Josh spoke again, sweat dripping down his temples. “Oh, you’re close, mama. I can-I can feel it, sweet girl. C’mon, finish for me. You’ve been so good, do it.” With his words of encouragement, you fell over the edge.

Body going rigid and weak, his hand left your mouth the minute it came to you. Tiny whimpers and one small word left your lips. As he heard his name moaned out, it pushed him to his own climax. The small ego boost of hearing his name come from you as you came on him was sending him to another plane of existence. 

When he pulled out from you, he fixed your underwear, patting the crotch that was catching your mixed releases. “Hold onto that for me, ‘kay? I’ll check on it later tonight,” he spun you around as he spoke, connecting you both in a gentle kiss.

“Really, what do you think?” As he readjusted his suit, checking himself in the mirror, he watched your reflection, seeing your blissed out face meeting him with a smile. “It looks great, Josh. I love it and they’re all going to love it too. Promise.” 

He nodded, eyes only able to look at the smooth tabletop of the dressing table, you kissed his velvet clad shoulder, telling him you still had some duties to do before the show. He stopped you before you could slip out, pretending to fix your hair while he asked you the most important question he ever had. 

“So-um. I was wondering if, I don’t know, maybe you might want to stay for the show. Just tonight, you know? I know you typically go sleep during the show, but I don’t know, I was thinking maybe just for tonight-” you cut him off, hands cradling his jaw as you kissed him, shutting up his nervous chatter.

Agreeing to stay for the show was everything he had been hoping for and then some. It was the best news of his life. 

That was one of the best shows of the tour. Josh’s confidence boost only perfected his stage presence even more. It was also the first show you had stayed to watch despite how truly exhausted you were. Not only from the extracurricular activities that took up your afternoon, but your work responsibilities, too.

He knew you were watching that night. It was why he went above and beyond. To truly show what he did and why he was so damn good at it. Almost needing to prove himself to you. 

It was worth it.

Nearly the next two weeks were going to be a break. A break from life on the road, your job, all of it. Your heart slightly ached at the thought of being away from Josh for two weeks. 

The longest you two were going to be apart for the first time in nearly a year. It was going to be odd. Not having him taking up every waking moment of your day. 

That’s good. Space is exactly what you need from him. It’ll put things in perspective for you. About how out of control this situation has gotten. 

It didn’t last long. In fact, it didn’t happen at all. The night you got home, Josh offered to drive you back to your apartment. Hastily agreeing after not being able to sleep with him for three nights, Josh had you pressed against the elevator walls.

His mouth fighting for dominance with yours. Your hands tangled in his hair. His knee shoved between your legs. Breath mingling in short exasperated spurts. 

Hardly separating the entire way to your door, your hands trembled as you tried to unlock it. When you opened the door, Josh’s hands were on your hips, leading you into the house, but immediately dropped when the yells rang out into the air.

“Welcome home, birdie!” You screamed, jumping back into Josh as his hands stilled you, his own yell echoing through the apartment. Hand over your heart, you were trying to catch your breath as your mom and siblings laughter wracked their bodies.

Hunching over, you started laughing with them. “Jesus. What the hell, mom?” Crossing the room, she embraced you in a monstrous hug. Feeling the comfort of your moms hug nearly brought tears to your eyes as she rocked you back and forth, hand smoothing your hair. 

Her laughter mixed with her words as she spoke. “Wanted to surprise you! The kids were dying to see you,” you pulled back, feeling them grab you into another hug. 

Your mom crossed the space and beamed at Josh. “You must be Mr. Kiszka! It’s such a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for driving her home, I know she left her car here.” Josh’s bright red face let on to how excited and slightly uncomfortable he felt at that moment.

Eyes falling to you and seeing your easy smile signaled he was okay to continue talking with her as you spoke with your brother and sister. “Of course. I wanted to make sure she got home okay. I should really be going though,” your head snapped in his direction, nodding in agreement with him.

“Thank you again for the ride. If you need anything,” your mom waved you off, pulling Josh towards your couch. “Nonsense. We got a bunch of food and you’re more than welcome to join us.”

Your eyes went wide, trying to say otherwise, but she hushed you. “Birdie! Be polite to your boss. He was kind enough to drive you home. The least you can do is invite him to stay for dinner. Jesus, where are your manners?” 

There it was. That feeling again. 

Reality is creeping in. Look at how your mom and siblings are talking with him. You’re sleeping with him. What would your mom say about that? He’s your boss for crying out loud. Look at what’s happening right now. 

Remaining silent for a majority of the night as he told story after story to entertain everyone, clearly enjoying getting in with you like this. All you could think about was how inappropriate this was. How well he was getting along with your mom and brother and sister. This wasn’t okay.

It’s gone too far.

When Josh left that night, you didn’t see him for the remainder of the break. You lied and said you flew back to California to spend time with them. He didn’t second guess it. Hardly even having communication with him was good. Hard? Sure, but what you needed to take in the reality of what was happening. 

Instead, you moped around your house after your mom had left to go back home two days later. The remainder of the break was spent wallowing alone. Trying to figure out where the line had been crossed. Why you didn’t catch it sooner. How you could be so careless and stupid.

Your mother almost caught you. With your boss. That was a new low for you. As the time flew by on the break, you found yourself filled with another sense of dread with having to face him. Having to do what you needed to. 

Cutting this off. Ending it before it turned out poorly for one, or worse, both of you. Choosing to remain distant once back on the road had Josh spinning. You had left for break on good terms. What the hell happened? Did he say something to your mom that offended her or you? 

Constantly wracking his brain whenever he tried to make a move towards you and you would shut it down. You were hardly even speaking to him anymore. If it wasn’t to do with work matters, you were far away. It was driving him mad. 

Finally cornering you one night after a show, he shut the door to his dressing room as you checked on his vitamins to ensure they were there for him for the post show check. When the door clicked behind you, a small sigh fell from your lips. 

Dread. 

“What’s going on with you? Did I do something to upset you?” He was whispering, speaking low so no one could hear from the other side of the door. Facing him, you shook your head, exhaustion grabbing hold of your body. “No.” 

His brow furrowed, moving closer to you. When his hand reached out to grab your own, you moved back out of his reach. Head cocking to the side, eyes wild with confusion, he scoffed. “That right there! That’s what I’m talking about. Are you alright? What did I do?” 

His tone was picking up, speaking faster the more frustrated he became. Still speaking quietly, but the bite in his words still present had you growing flustered. Arms crossing over your chest, tongue poking into the side of your cheek, you were battling in yourself. 

Do it. Draw the line. Create the boundary. Check his limits. Make him understand what this is.

Eyes slipping shut, shaking your head, you looked back at him. “I don’t understand why you’re getting so frustrated. All this was, was sleeping together. If you need it that bad, then go get it somewhere else. There’s a whole army of girls out there that will fall to their knees for you in a heartbeat.”

That got him. His mouth was agape, eyes wide in shock, unable to move. Still clad in his stage garb, rhinestones adorned on his flush cheeks, bare feet rooted to the ground, he was a spectacle to witness. It made it all the harder. 

“I need to get changed.” It was at a normal volume, eyes peeled away from yours, unable to look at you. Slipping past him, your shoulder brushed his chest as you opened the door. The heat that emanated from him encompassed you from just the miniscule contact. When you closed it behind you a shaky breath fell from your lips, looking at your checklist to see what you needed to do next. 

The tremble in your hands growing worse by the minute. 

You were in this town for a couple of days, the next being an off day. Josh shrugged off the night before. He thought maybe you were just having an off couple of days. It was bound to happen. Everyone had their share of bad moods after being on the road for so long. He figured that you were just going through yours. 

It was the next afternoon when you were asked by the group if you would accompany them on an evening out. Bar hopping through the vibrant downtown nightlife. His eyes were hopeful, peering at you, basically begging you. 

You declined. 

Instead opting to spend the night alone taking yourself out to dinner, calling your mom, and taking a brisk stroll. Should you have been out by yourself that late? No, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

Depressing. That was the only way to describe the missing enigma that was Josh. Having crossed the threshold that you did with him, then going to plainly ignoring him. Rough. As you continued wandering around the more it slapped you in the face. 

Was he your boss? Yes. Honestly, did it matter? Your work was still the same, productivity still incredibly high. You meshed so well together. You knew the man inside and out. The second he started slipping into your world, you freaked out, not having had that happen before. It was different. Something you needed to get used to. Could you get used to Josh in your bubble? Yes, you could. Then what was the problem? 

The fear of rejection? Of him growing tired of you once the tour was over? That wasn’t Josh and you knew it. It was playing a side of life you hadn’t before. Of being a little dangerous. Doing something you weren’t technically supposed to. 

But it was Josh.

Speed walking back to the hotel, you knew you needed to fix this. The chilly air nipped at your cheeks as you hurried back to the building. You wanted to talk to him, explain what the issue was. How you weren’t afraid anymore. If Josh was there with you, it would be fine. 

 Hitting the floor button multiple times, trying to speed up the elevator to get to the correct floor, you could feel your smile growing. This was right. It was Josh. This is what you need to do right now. Where you should be.

As the doors opened to the floor, you rooted to your spot as he filled your vision. He was facing you, eyes closed as the girl that was attached to him fumbled with the hotel room door. The ding of the elevator had gotten his attention, when he saw you standing there taking in his actions, he wanted to die.

Never having seen that expression on your face before, it broke him. He never wanted to see that again. The total anguish that morphed your features into one of pain. That he was the cause of. 

The doors shut, you not having left the elevator, you rode it back down to the lobby. Danny and Sam stood at the exit, confused as to where you were going this late, questions filling the air around you. “Out,” was your only response to them.

Danny quickly called out after you as you continued walking towards the front entrance. “I don’t think that’s a good idea! It’s really late. If you want to go out, I’ll go with you, but I cannot in good conscience let you go out alone.” You stopped in your tracks, jaw setting as you played your options in your mind.

Turning on your heel, you plastered the best faux smile you could onto your face. “No, you’re right. It’s too late. I’ll just head up and hang out in the room.” His smile grew, taking it as a victory as you walked back to the elevator with him, Sam still watching you two as you reapproached him.

His scrutinizing gaze held your body as you walked past him into the elevator. “You sure you’re alright? Acting a little squirrely,” you shrugged, trying to play off what had just happened. “Totally fine. Just having a hard time trying to sleep so I was going on a walk to tire myself out.” 

The elevator doors opening to your floor was a haven. The two still needing to ride up a couple more floors, you bid them goodnight, waving over your shoulder as they continued their trek upwards. Rushing to your own door, flying by his, you got it open as you heard another one creek into the hallway.

With the door closed, your forehead rested against the cool wood. Your eyes squeezed shut, trying to tamp down the horrible feeling worming its way into you. Jumping with a small yelp, there was a thumping on the other side of the door.

Peering out the peephole, he stood on the other side. Not looking at the door, but instead eyes downcast, hands on his hips as he listened for movement. “Birdie. I know you’re in there. I saw you run down the hall.” 

Backing away from the door, you didn’t want to deal with this. Not tonight. Not right now. Emotions too high. Feelings too much. You heard his loud sigh and the sound of something running along the door. 

“Okay, well I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk. Not going anywhere.” His grunt as he firmly planted his ass on the carpeted ground echoed out into the hall. What the hell did he think he was doing? He looks like a fucking crazy person sitting out there like that. Fine, he wants to do this, then we’ll do this.

Storming over to the door and throwing it open, his expectant eyes looked up at you where the door once rested. Once they connected with your fiery ones, he knew it was about to happen. Standing and entering your room, following after you, the door shut letting you both know you could start. 

“You’re mad.” He finally started after you refused to break the silence. Scoffing at him and rolling your eyes, your arms crossed soundly over your chest. “Obviously.” He shrugged, tongue darting out and laying flat on his bottom lip, thumb brushing over the skin. “You have no right to be upset.”

You could’ve sworn at that exact moment your eyes could have bugged out of your head and onto the floor below. “Excuse me?” His hands went up in the air before landing on his head, exasperated with the entire events of the last few days.

“Birdie, you wanted this! You wouldn’t talk to me, look at me, interact with me, nothing. I ask you what’s wrong wanting to fix this and you tell me that I need to go sleep with other girls because that’s what this is. That all you and I have is sex.” Shaking your head, you could feel tears welling in your eyes.

That was exactly what you had said, but it wasn’t what you meant. Not in the slightest. Sniffling into the room you cleared your throat before speaking. “I know,” his face went into his hands, falling away and eyeing you like you were absolutely crazy.

“Then I have no idea what the problem is.” Gaining the courage to look into his eyes, you sighed. “I don’t want you sleeping with anyone, Josh.” Deciding in a moment's notice that this needed to be done right then, not letting him speak, you continued on. “I like you. A lot. I don’t want you sleeping with anyone.” 

Your voice had quieted, the loud tone gone. Josh’s voice evened to match yours. “Then, why the hell did you say that?” Plopping down on the edge of the mattress, you struggled to put it into words, a total word vomit exploding from you. 

“Because this is moving so fast! I-I feel like we’ve skipped every single dating step. I know everything there is to know about you. You met my family!” Trying to calm down, you took a deep breath. “It’s just a lot. Not to mention you’re still my boss.” A sigh fell from the boy's lips, crouching down and his palms laying flat on the tops of your thighs.

When his lips landed on your forehead, he stood, kicking his shoes off and laying on the bed with a loud groan. Making a show of trying to get comfortable, he moved the pillows around, turned on the lamps on both nightstand tables, and patted the spot next to him. 

Your furrowed brows showed you didn’t understand what he was doing. “Tell me everything about you. I want to know it all.” Hesitating, he spoke before you could, reassuring words washing over you. “I like you, birdie. A lot. This is more to me than just sex. I hope you know that. We have nowhere to be so you and I are gonna sit here all night and you’re going to tell me every detail about your life. I want to know it all.”

Feeling your eyes burn with tears, your head fell forward, walking towards your side of the bed and sitting criss-cross applesauce. Wracking your brain about if this was the right thing to do, you decided it was. It absolutely was. 

“I grew up in California with my mom and brother and sister. It had been just us since I was nine years old.” That was just the start. 

You two stayed up all night as you shared every minute speckle of information you could think of to him. He ate it up. It was like the best story he had ever heard. Enamored with how you became the person you were. What you had to go through and endure just to get where you were now. It was inspiring. 

It was like he was looking at you in an entirely different light. Somehow one that made him fall for you even more. He didn’t think that was possible, but there it was. With every sentence you spoke, he hung on each word. Inching closer to him as the night went on, you weren’t sure when, but at some point you two had fallen asleep together. 

Completely entangled in the others limbs, your head resting on his arm, fingers tangled together, legs meshed as one, his free arm tucked behind his head, your free one draped across his torso. You felt no remorse or guilt about having shared what you did. A new line, a new set of rules had to be made, but you were fine with that. 

It was something that could happen as time went on, drafting them and redrafting them together. Establishing new boundaries with one another instead of you creating imaginary ones in your mind. No, this needed to be done together. 

Excitement. 

The butterflies danced in your stomach as you walked some city streets with Josh, dressed up just a bit. He had slipped a note under your papers on your clipboard knowing that you checked them all at the end of the night and you were in awe when you read it. 

Roses are red, violets are blue, it would be an honor to go on a first date with you. -J

(This part doesn’t rhyme, but be dressed and ready tomorrow night at nine. A little nice. Nothing too much. Okay I think that’s all. If there’s more I’ll just text you)

You giggled uncontrollably at the adorable note, stashing it away with the other he had written for you before. Spending far too much time getting primped and ready for your date with him, you couldn’t fight the nerves pounding you. 

This was different from all of the other hangouts you did. There was more pressure. An actual date. 

When Josh lightly knocked at your door, you saw him slightly dressed up and whistled as you took him in. “Looking sharp, Mr. Kiszka.” He did a small twirl, cheeks growing pinker by the second as he eyed you in your outfit. 

“I can say the same about you.” He immediately took your hand, running down the hallway together, trying to avoid anyone and everyone so as not to be seen going out together. The entire walk to the restaurant was quiet, but comfortable. Excitement and nerves wracking you both. 

As you two were about to walk into the front doors, he stopped, pulling you back towards him and smiling brightly at you. “I hate first dates. They’re awkward and hard. Why don’t we just make it as casual as we can. It’s still us.” Taking a deep breath at his words, you nodded in agreement, squeezing his hand as he leaned in, placing a light kiss to your lips. 

Like breathing in new life, it invigorated you. Bringing you back to the moment and who you were really here with. Not a stranger, the complete opposite. Someone you knew like the back of your hand and vice versa. There was no need for it to be weird.

The evening was one of the best you two had spent together. Fantastic food, many laughs, it made you think back to France. The night it all changed. As you sipped your glass, Josh caught his breath from laughing at a story about his brothers in high school. 

“You know this isn’t our first date?” You set your glass down, eyebrows going up as you uttered those words. “At least, I don’t count it as our first.” His brow furrowed, shaking his head as he thought about it. 

When it dawned on him, he smiled, face tinting. “France.” You both spoke out at the same time. Thinking fondly back to that night, you watched as he swallowed thickly, standing from the table and taking your hand in his. 

Rushing back to the hotel room, you played into the first date theme of the evening. Once the door shut behind you both, Josh’s lips landed firmly on your collarbones, dusting them with kisses. “I normally don’t put out on the first date. I hate to have given you that impression twice,” your breath caught in your throat as you felt his breath fan against your skin with a laugh.

Hands cupping your cheeks, tucking the hair behind your ears, his beaming smile greeted you as he held eye contact with you. “Well I normally am not in love on the first date. I hate to have given you that impression twice,” he pulled you towards him, lips meeting in a gentle fashion. No rush, no time frame to follow.

Just you two, reveling in that moment. 

Sweat glistened on both of your bodies, Josh sitting up against the headboard, you in his lap, legs on either side of his frame, lightly moving as you breathed the other in. Hair stuck to napes of necks, arms wrapped securely around your waist to ensure you couldn’t escape, panting moans falling into the room. 

It was heaven. Being with him like this. In such a natural and graceful form. Where you two melded together as one. I love you’s whispered out, afraid to fall to anyone else's ears, only meant for the lover they held. 

Reaching peaks together as white hot passion blinded you. Head falling back, exposing the expanse of your neck, he pulled you back to him, not wanting you to go so far. Feeling him seep out of you, back onto his still hard shaft. The most intense end you had ever reached in your life. 

Knowing you would never have a session like this again. Where so much was shared without a single word uttered than the bare necessities. Going down to the bare roots and core of your partner. Feeling the indents his fingertips were going to leave for days to come. A scalding memory of the night. 

One you would never forget. 

Secret rendezvous and dates became a normality for you two on the road. Long after the posse had retreated for the night, Josh would come to your door and whisk you away for as long as he could. Sometimes for the entire night, others for as little as a half an hour. It didn’t matter as long as he had some time with you. It was all he needed. All he craved. 

Stolen glances and touches were shared more and more. Getting more confident with each move, you started initiating some. Much to Josh’s surprise. You never did falter and call him by his first name in front of everyone though. Still holding firm to your job and its duties was still of the utmost importance to you.

It’s why when his mom came to a show, you were on top of your game. Wanting him to spend as much time with her as he could, you took over even more. He spoke of his mom so often to you, he obviously loved her dearly. Wanting you to meet her as his partner was just not in the cards right now. Instead, you were introduced as his assistant. 

Staying and chatting with her for a bit as he changed into his show garb, filming a video with her as a cameo had giggles and laughter fluttering from everyone. You knew where he got his light and spark from. 

When it was show time, Josh’s hand squeezed yours a second longer than he should have. His mom watched from afar the little motion, her eyebrow shooting up at it. Watching as her son's gaze held you even after your attention had turned to continue doing your job. 

She bit back a smile, feeling the giddy sensation fill her at what she was witnessing. “Mrs. Kiszka, can I take you to your seat?” You offered and she agreed, walking slowly with you to where her dedicated seat was for the show. 

“How are you and Josh getting along? I know he can be a lot to handle,” you laughed at her words, shrugging as you did. “Great! Mr. Kiszka is easy to work with actually.” She hummed, turning to face you fully as her hand landed on your cheek with a light pat. 

Sighing, she offered a gentle smile. “I see why he loves you,” your jaw fell open, shaking your head, but her bubbling laugh filled the space. “Oh, honey. It’s so obvious, I’m shocked no one else has caught on. Maybe it’s because I’m his mother, but the way he looks at you is like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

Unsure how to respond, not knowing if you should just give in or deny, she held her hands up. “I won’t say anything, promise. You let me know if he does something stupid. It’s still Josh.” Smiling at her words, she turned and took her seat in the stands, the boys immediately finding their mother and where she was watching from, subtly saying hello. 

The next night, Josh laid next to you in bed, a sheepish look plastered on his face. “I did something bad.” Your deadpanned expression told him you weren’t amused with whatever he was about to say. 

“I told my mom about us. She said she already knew, I swear I don’t know how, but yeah. She’s the only one. Scouts honor,” he held the signal up as he spoke, clearly worried about your reaction. Sitting up in the bed and coming face to face with him you smiled. “Your mom told me last night at the show she knew. Something about how you looked at me,” his soft smile had his dimples on display.

Nodding at your words, he cleared his throat, taking in a breath. “Yeah, well I don’t know what look she’s talking about. I promise though, no one else knows.” Leaning down and chastly kissing you, you pulled back and spoke. 

“Good. The whole secret relationship thing is such a turn on.” He mumbled against your lips as he spoke again. “I am so glad to hear you say that because I have a few games I want to play with you.”

Pulling back, your eyebrows shot up your face. “Games?” He nodded, looking at you like you were crazy for not already knowing what he was talking about. “Sexy chicken, vibrator controlled by the phone remote-” pushing his face away with a laugh, he giggled, hair a poofy mess as he fell back down to you.

“Joking, joking. I wouldn’t want my goody two shoes to get in trouble. Oh, I figured out your favorite color by the way." You rolled your eyes at his enthusiastic tone.

Patting his lips, a shit eating grin took over his face. "You know what they say about a mans lip color, right?" This was going to be a blast.