#josh michael kiszka

[hailthegodsong]

“don’t forget that i’m five minutes older than you bitch”

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory: Chapter Twenty

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: Drinking/Alcohol 😉, Flirting, Suggestive Language, Insinuated Sex (off page- you horn dogs got enough last week 😂) Smoking, Some mild anxiety, someone 👀 makes some questionable choices, internal monologue moment, and last but certainly not least— piratical themes and English accents are running amuck.

Word Count: 6.5k

Summary: Charlotte takes advantage of Jake’s schedule and it turns into a very cute evening with them.

Author's Note: Ahhhhhh!! We’re officially in the home stretch, guys 🥹 This weeks chapter is really a treat for all of us 🤭 These two are really so sweet and I’m excited for you to giggle over them with me 🥰 💕

this is how you fall in love - Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler “You are the reason I never think twice, wherever we go, what glitters is gold, You’ll be my best friend until we grow old.”

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It’s beyond me how this man is always awake early when he goes to bed so late. I crawl out of bed and pull a sweatshirt out of his closet. It’s just long enough to cover everything; I forget that he’s not incredibly tall until these moments. 

“There you are,” I let out, walking into the kitchen as he’s making coffee for us. He’s still just in his boxers, a feast for the eyes. Well, mine, at least. Sliding my arms around his waist, pressing a kiss into his shoulder. 

“Good morning,” his voice still slightly husky from sleep. “I was gonna bring this to you– go get back in bed.” 

My face still pressed against him as I giggled, “We can pretend I didn’t ruin the surprise.” He rubs my arm for a second before I force myself to go back into the bedroom. Crawling back into my spot in bed, it’s not long before he comes in, pushing the door shut with his foot. 

“Thank you, baby,” I tell him as I’m stealing my coffee from him. He slides back into bed, pulling my legs over his.  “Mmm, wish we could just do this all day.” Resting my head against him for a second. 

“Hear me out.. We both just quit our jobs,” he says, giggling quietly. 

I look at him, my eyebrow cocked as high as it can go, “You’d never give up the bar, don’t lie.” 

“You’re right, but I also make my schedule so.. I could just not work,” he says. “You, on the other hand.” His side-eye was astronomical as he took a big sip of coffee. 

The last thing I need is for him to realize I’ve been fucking around with my job. 

“How long do you have to be there?” I ask. 

He sets his coffee mug on his nightstand, mumbling, “Josh is closing tonight, so whenever he tells me to leave.” 

“…so we could go out?” 

“What did you have in mind?” 

“Anything where we can dress cute and not be in YOUR bar,” I smirk, batting my eyelashes at him a bit. 

His little smile creeps onto his face, “Mmmm.. maybe we can grab dinner then?” 

“Ooo, yes!” I can’t contain my excitement, not fully expecting him to agree that easily.  “You don’t mind dressing up with me?” 

He laughs before saying, “I can clean up once in a while.” 

“More handsome than usual? I’ll have to fight the girls off you.” I giggle, handing him my coffee to set on the nightstand for me. 

He turns back to me, pulling me onto his lap. He chuckles to himself, “I don’t think you’ll have to be doing all that,” he leans up to kiss me, mumbling against my lips. “But it’s cute that you would.” 

I lean forward, laying against his chest and tucking my face into his neck; I’ll never get over how cozy he is. He pulls the comforter up to cover me, wrapping his arms around me. Closing my eyes and breathing him in, enjoying the feeling of him gently scratching my back. 

“Maybe you were onto something with quitting our jobs,” I said into him with a laugh. 

Feeling his chest vibrate when he laughs makes my heart flutter a little; I shift, trying to make myself a little more comfortable. My hips pressing into him slightly. 

“Hey you,” his voice low. “I can only control what happens so much if you’re gonna be doing that.” 

I sit up to look at him, fully letting my hips grind into him, “What do you mean?” I quietly ask him, pretending I can’t already tell what’s happening. 

“Char-” 

“Yes, Jake?” I smirk, my hands settling on his stomach, toying with the waistband of his boxers. Watching his eyes flit between mine and my lips as I sit here. “You already know if I start something, I’m more than happy to finish it.”

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Leaving him today proved more difficult than I expected. Granted, deciding to try and just give him head turned into early morning sex. Not that I’m complaining; it was lovely, but it definitely slowed down the getting-out-of-bed process a bit. 

Once I made it back “home,” I found myself rummaging through the clothes I had in the closet. I pulled out a pair of light-wash jeans. I couldn’t tell you the last time I wore regular jeans. The idea finally hit. I pulled out one of my body suits, slipped it on, and looked in the mirror. The neckline is deep; I readjusted it a little so the cleavage looked a little better. 

I sit in front of my mirror, dragging my makeup bag closer. Maybe just a little extra won’t hurt. I pick up my phone, turn on some music, and check my texts before I actually start. 

Jacob: time is going by so slow this is painful   

Me: Oh, are we feeling clingy today? 

I giggle, setting my phone down and starting to work on my makeup. It’s always been a therapeutic thing for me. I’ve never been one to wear a ton of it, but the process of getting ready was always lovely. It’s probably something to do with routine. Nevertheless, even if it’s just me fluffing up my eyebrows and mascara, the few moments with some quiet music always comforted me. 

Mindlessly, I sat there, listening to whatever came on shuffle while intermittently replying to Jacob. I love it when he sends me random thoughts or just wants to have a little conversation when I’m not in his presence. It feels nice having someone just want to talk to you. 

Though, I have been very fortunate since meeting him. After introducing me to Quinn, Willa, and Mel, I suddenly feel less alone. Even if Cass did just recently pass away, and I’m still trying to handle that on my own, it really is lovely just to have a handful of friends who are there to just chat about whatever and giggle like she and I used to. I’ve never been one to have many friends, so having a little group of us now is fun. 

Part of my problem was living so far north; there were just not many people growing up, and unfortunately, my family situation wasn’t necessarily ideal. My sister is thirteen years older than me, so we didn’t have that close sisterly bond that a lot do. We’re more friendly now that we’re both adults, but I wouldn’t have considered her like a friend to me growing up. I spent a lot of my life as a makeshift only child because she moved out when I was six. 

My parents are also quite a bit older and were deep into their careers while I was growing up, which is probably part of why I get too invested in my job. I love them, but it made me grow up a bit faster, and I ended up not having many friends because of it. I didn’t relate to the kids around me, and there were only so many to begin with. 

I had never been more relieved than when I met Cass, and she clung to me, regardless of how annoying I can be sometimes.  

I’m quickly pulled out of my thoughts when I realize my music stopped. Looking over to my phone, oh no. My boss’s name sits across the screen; why right now? I stare at it as it rings, watching it go back to my lock screen, and the music starts playing again; taking a deep breath and continuing to get ready. 

What are you doing? Why wouldn’t you answer it? 

He’ll leave a voicemail, and then, at least, I can figure out what to tell him.

You’re really playing with fire here, Char. 

Once I’m happy with how my lipstick looks, I tend to nitpick it; I grab my phone nervously. Staring at the notification that my boss had indeed left a voicemail, I hesitated to click on it. 

“Hey Charlotte, I was hoping to catch you real quick to chat, but if you could just call me back when you get a second, that would be great. Thanks.” 

The nerves die off a bit after listening, not too bad, okay. He definitely didn’t sound happy, but it could have been worse. It will be worse if you don’t just call him back.  I will just.. Not right now. I sat there staring at my phone for a second before doing the only thing I knew would make me feel better. 

Me: I’m excited to show you my outfit soon 

Jacob: you’re gonna give me a heart attack aren’t you? 

His response made me laugh; it’ll never make sense how he’s never managed to keep a girl around. He truly is such a lovely man; I’ve never had someone make me feel like he does. I’m sure he’s tired of being told how sweet he is, but I don’t know if there’s a better word to describe him. I’ve never met someone like him who wasn’t on the pages of a book I was reading. 

Plugging in my curling iron, I pick up my phone, scrolling through emails to see what I should reply to before I leave—quickly answering some that don’t require much brain power before taking the time to curl my hair. I’ll clock in for a little bit before I go just to see how much I can get through. Plus, he might want a few minutes to change and whatnot anyway.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I spent a while working before I finally left. I definitely didn’t need nearly as much time to get ready as I thought. The drive back to Portland felt like forever, likely because I’m actually excited to be here tonight. I pull out my phone to text him as I walk up the stairs. 

Me: I’m here :) 

Jacob: the doors unlocked 

I sneak into the apartment, and I can hear him shuffling around; why am I nervous to see him? 

The sound of his boots against the wood floor echoes through the space as he comes around the corner. His eyes rake down my body, and I feel warm just seeing him. 

“You look–” he says, grabbing my hands, still fully looking me up and down.  “God, you’re so gorgeous.” Feeling the blood rush into my face. I don’t think I’ll get used to him complimenting me. 

I finally got a full look at him; he was in all black, his button-up hardly even buttoned, with a jacket on top. His black jeans ripped at the knees, with his nicer boots. His necklace sits pretty against his chest; his watch and the few rings he added made my mouth water. 

“You’re pretty handsome yourself,” I tell him, leaning in closer to him. “Glad I get to stare at you all night.” 

“You and me both,” he says, his hands holding my waist. “Are you sure you want to go out? We could just.. stay here..” He gives me a slow, lazy wink as he leans in, pressing his lips against my cheek. 

Running my hands up his chest, fiddling with his necklace, “If I weren’t starving, I’d consider.” 

“So later?”

“With you looking like this,” I giggle, patting his bare chest. “I’m going to say absolutely yes.”

His eyes light up at my answer, and with a smirk, he says, “Well, we should probably head out if you’re starving. Definitely not to get to the other part or anything.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I’d say the best part of him living in the Old Port is that anything we do is typically within walking distance from the bar. It’s not a super common thing in Maine to be able to walk to whatever you want, so it’s definitely a perk of the area. 

He immediately grabbed my hand once we started our walk to grab food, lacing his fingers through mine. I wonder if he’s thinking of this as a date. It’s kind of hard to deny at this point, but we just didn’t say the word. My stomach turns at the thought. Maybe I like him a bit more than I planned, but it’s okay. It’s fine. Right? 

His voice pulls me out of my thoughts when he asks, “Have you been to Pai Mein?” 

“No, Cass and I pretty much only went to bars out here,” I tell him, looking over at him. 

“Oh, you’re in for a treat,” he says,  meeting my stare. “Sam convinced me after he talked about it a million times, and unfortunately, he was correct. It's so good.”

I laugh at his disappointment but squeeze his hand a few times, “I’m excited.” 

We spend the rest of the walk quietly pointing out things in the shops we’re passing, and I’m trying to ignore our reflections in the window when we stop for a second to look at something a little closer. However, getting a glimpse of him in his going-out fit just reminds me of how good he looks tonight, and I could just take a bite out of him. 

He pulls open the door to the restaurant, letting me through first. I gently grab his hand as he talks to the hostess. Following behind him to our table, which ended up being towards the back of the small space. He carefully pulled out my chair for me; why was that kinda..? 

We sat quietly for a minute, browsing the menu after ordering our drinks. Everything here sounds good; this is awful. I look up, watching him as he reads through things. It’s hard not to get distracted by him, even when he’s genuinely doing nothing. He fidgets quietly, gently picking at his bottom lip as he reads. Finally, looking up when the server comes back with our drinks to mumble a small ‘thank you.’ 

“It’s cute in here,” I tell him, glancing over at the kitchen which is exposed. 

His lips pull into a soft smile, “I had a feeling you’d like it.” 

It’s only a few minutes until the server is back to take our order, stealing the menus back from us, and now there’s nothing else to look at besides him.

“So, the bar was terrible today, huh?�� I tease him.

He leans forward a little before saying, “Awful, actually.” His little giggle followed it, which only made the butterflies worse. 

“Well, at least,” I start, but hesitate when I feel his hand graze the back of my calf. He leans into his other hand, elbow propped up on the table as he lightly runs his hand up and down my leg. I don’t think I realized how close we were until just now. “Um, at least you’re free for the evening.” 

I don’t know what’s worse, the way he touches me constantly or the way he stares at me when I talk. 

“Mhmm,” he hums. “I’d be sitting in my office if you didn’t want to do something, so I appreciate it.”

Of course, he would. “You know you’re allowed to just leave the bar if you don’t need to be there?” 

His hand found its way up to hold my knee, and I snaked my own under the table, playing with the two rings he had on. 

“I don’t even know what else I would do,” he admits. 

I tap the back of his hand a few times, “It sounds like you need a hobby.”

“I could read more,” he says quietly. “Maybe I can actually read one of those books you seem to enjoy so much.” 

The cough just sort of happened, so I grabbed my drink quickly. Oh my god, he would be lethal if he had more ideas on how to be perfect. 

“I definitely meant to bring you one,” I let out a small laugh. “You just have to promise you won’t make fun of me if you hate it.”

“Hun, my favorite movie is a rom-com. You really think I’m going to laugh at you for reading romance?” 

I can feel my face start to turn red, “Yeah, but there’s.. smut.. in them.” 

“Yes, and,” he whispers back. “If anything, it could just benefit you.” 

I clear my throat, “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of.” 

“Why afraid?” he questions, but thankfully for me, our server walks up with our food in time, so I do not have to explain that to him.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Something about him makes the silence comfortable, in this case, just the silence as I may as well have inhaled my food. Sam is correct– they have incredible ramen. He told me about some things that happened in the bar while he was “trapped” there today– his word, not mine. Mindlessly, I found myself with my foot hooked around his leg until he was done eating, and he quickly dropped his hand down to hold the back of my leg again. 

No matter how many times I’ve witnessed him pay for something, it makes my head spin when he does. Something about him being confident enough not to look at the bill makes me sweat; I think because he’s so quiet and unassuming, it's a little shocking whenever he does something to that degree. 

I followed his lead back outside; he held his hand back for me, and I immediately laced my fingers into his. 

“Should we.. grab drinks? Since we’re already out,” he asks.  

I look over at him; he’s so close. I let out a quiet, “Where are you thinking?” 

“Wherever you want,” he says, tugging me closer. 

“Wait, really?” 

He leans in, leaving a sweet kiss on my lips, mumbling, “Really.”

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We wandered around, finding ourselves in another older bar. Posting up on some barstools towards the end of the bar, we both order drinks. Hearing him order whiskey makes me wish we hadn’t left the apartment. I was a bit surprised when he suggested drinks, and honestly, curiosity got the best of me. 

Watching him actually enjoy himself and have drinks was such a treat for me. I was prepared for him to drink a little too much after meeting him the first time, just owning a bar at a younger age. I’ve been around bar owners enough to know that it’s a slippery slope, and many of them tend to slide down it. 

So, when I realized that he was actually not a big drinker, it was relieving. Obviously, the black-out drunk underage story did clear up some things for me; even if it wasn’t his best moment, it was still precious to see. It’s nice seeing him be a normal person sometimes. 

We sat there sipping on drinks for a while, talking about whatever came to mind. Something about how he speaks, I could just listen to him read the dictionary. Maybe my drink is also starting to kick in. 

He is full of stories about him with his brothers, and their family just seems so fun. The way he laughs during almost every story about them is so adorable; I love that he loves them so much. Sitting here, I notice the pink in his cheeks slowly creeping in. 

After the last couple of weeks, I definitely have noticed little things that he does, whether he’s aware of it or not. He admitted right away to be a physically affectionate kind of person, but I don’t think I anticipated what that meant besides sex, obviously. 

He has a way of just making contact with me– subconsciously. Lightly grabbing my hand or my arm randomly while telling me something. He’ll leave his hand on my thigh while I’m talking, gently scratching or tapping his fingers against me. The little touches are something I wasn’t necessarily prepared for, but now I crave them when I’m around him. 

“I’ll be right back, hun,” he mumbles, kissing the side of my head before scurrying off to the bathroom. I turn to watch him walk off, not that I’m necessarily proud of that, but he looks so fucking good, it’s hard not to. 

After a few minutes, I feel his arms wrap around me, tucking his face into my neck, secretly pressing a few little pecks into my neck.

 “Mmm, hi,” his little mumbles were barely loud enough for me to hear.

“Are you a little tipsy, Jacob?” I ask quietly. 

His smile gave him away, “Who’s to say?” 

“Oh, I think I’m to say,” I giggle. “I was hoping I would get to meet him at some point.” 

His laugh flooded my brain, “Well, eat your heart out, honey.” 

We moved to a little table off in the corner, both of us sitting in the booth seat together. His arm propped up on the back of it as he turned to face me a little, with his drink in the other hand. I can see in his eyes that the alcohol is definitely hitting, and I shouldn’t be as excited as I am for it. 

“So, I know they told you about my failed attempts at dating,” he says, taking a small sip of his drink. “Who has been lucky enough to take you out?” 

My face warms at the thought of admitting that I would usually have never picked someone like him, “Ohhh.. haha, well.” 

“It’s only fair,” his eyebrow raises. I hate that he’s right. 

“Just very clean-cut, shitty finance guys,” I sigh. “They were always just.. boring.” 

He giggles at the comment. 

“Not that my job on paper sounds exhilarating, but–” I try to justify myself a little. 

He chimes in quickly, “No, but the fact you asked for bourbon the first time I met you definitely made me curious.” His voice lowers slightly before asking, “How did you go from clean-cut, boring men to .. us sleeping together?” Oh, what a good question, Jacob. 

“You were just .. so— nice,” I tell him, which isn’t a total lie.  

“Me being nice is all it took? Honey, get higher standards,” he laughs, his eyebrows raised. 

If he only knew that, he is so incredibly far above the standard for men. 

“I mean, you were also so humble,” I start. He deserves to have his ego stroked. Leaning close to his ear to whisper the rest, “I knew the dick had to be good.” 

His hand grips the top of my thigh tighter as he quietly laughs. He turns his face, hovering his lips over my ear when he mumbles, “Bet none of them made you come, huh?” 

“You’d be correct,” I tell him. “And if I did, it was because I took care of it.” 

His eyes drifted from my eyes to my lips, “You deserve better than that.” 

“All I’m gonna say is,” I start, letting out a small laugh. “I don’t want to know how you got so good in bed, but I’m not going to complain.” 

His eyes light up at the subtle compliment, “You think I'm that good?” 

Great. Fantastic. Super. Wonderful. Outstanding. Riveting. Incredible. Deserves a standing ovation. 

“You could say that,” I say before sipping on my drink and watching him pull his lip in with his teeth for a second. The way this man looks at me at any given moment makes me a little nervous, but adding alcohol has only made it worse. 

“Don’t be shy now,” He teases. “You already know the bulk of my past with women, but I’m not afraid to admit that you’re the best sex I’ve ever had.” 

Grabbing his chin, I pull him close, pressing a couple of small kisses against his lips. He tastes like whiskey. The butterflies when I open my eyes quickly, seeing how his eyelashes sit against his cheeks. His expression is so soft; he really is the sweetest boy.

“The feeling is mutual, babe,” I mumble against his lips, feeling the smile before I could see it. His hand rubs my thigh as we sit there with our faces a breath apart. I had never been with someone where I felt like I couldn’t stop myself; something about Jacob was different. So.. maybe I have a bit of a crush on him.. But how could I not?  The cute little smile on his face when I call him ‘babe’ will never get old. 

He’s intoxicating; he has an aura about him that just makes me want to crawl into his skin. Something about him short circuits my brain a lot of the time: the way he looks at me and always seems to want to take care of me– in a few different ways. 

“Are you excited for Wednesday?” I ask, forcing myself to focus on him. 

His eyebrows pull together, “What do you mean?”

“It’s the anniversary of the bar being open, isn’t it?” I start to second guess myself. 

“Oh, yes, it is.” His voice sounded surprised. Running his hand over his face, “Shit, that’s soon.” 

“Quinn mentioned something about it,” I tell him, trying to see how he reacts.

He laughs uncomfortably, “Yeah if there’s ever a celebration, assume they and Josh are behind it.”

Why does he seem nervous? I finally ask quietly, “Do you not want a celebration thing for it?”

“No, it’s okay, I just-” He hesitates a bit. 

“You worked hard; you deserve your moment.”

“I mean–”

“No, you shut up,” I cut him off, poking his chest lightly with a small laugh, “Mr. ‘I-can-hardly-leave-the-bar-without-checking-in-every-two-minutes,’ you deserve the attention.”

He moves closer to me, “I only want your attention.” I could throw up. 

I tap the tip of his nose a few times, “Don’t try to suck up to me right now; this is about you.” 

“Will you be there?” He asks, his eyes flit between my eyes and my mouth. 

“Do you want me there?”

“Mhm,” he nods. 

“I’ll hold your hand if you get nervous.” 

“Mmm, perfect,” He mumbles. “Actually, I’m a bit nervous now if you wanna get a jumpstart,” he pops his eyebrows a few times. 

He holds out his hand for me, sliding mine into it. Nodding his head towards the bar, I follow his lead. With a tight grip on mine, his hand pulled me through people who were getting up to the bar quickly. Ordering more drinks for the two of us, he turns to look at me as we wait; his thumb is rubbing against mine. He hands my drink to me before grabbing his. 

He starts to walk back over to the little table we were sitting at when he stops dead in his tracks, turning to look at me. 

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“It’s Bob Seger!”

I can’t help but laugh at how excited he gets. After a second, I can hear it through the chatter of the bar, the sweet sounds of Bob ringing through yet another bar. He slowly walks backward toward the table, sipping on his drink for a second before the chorus hits.

He pulls our hands close to his mouth as he sings, “And those Hollywood nights, in those Hollywood hills,” pretending my hand is the microphone. I pull him to the side so he won’t trip over a chair in the process, but that doesn’t stop him. He’s adorable. 

“She was looking so right, in her diamonds and frills,” his raspy little voice still going strong. He holds my hand up, spinning me in front of him before pulling me in close. He wraps his other arm carefully around me and sways the two of us together; he can’t be real, my hand still in his as we rock back and forth. His eyes are soft as he looks at me, and I swear, even in the dim lights of this bar, I can see them sparkle. 

“All those big city nights,” he sings next to my ear. “In those high rolling hills.”

Backing into the table we had been at, he spins us around, letting me sit down first. He sets his drink on the table before sitting next to me. I just watch him sing the last lines of the chorus and sing the guitar parts when there are no words left. I love it when he is just.. himself. I could spend forever watching him have fun. 

Once his karaoke moment ends, he sits back against the booth, quietly staring at me with his eyebrows pulled together. 

“What’s going on in there?” I smooth his brow with my thumb. 

“What am I supposed to do next weekend?” He asks, sipping on his drink. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’ll be the holiday weekend, and I assume you will be with your family,” he says, sounding a bit sad. 

Shit, I didn’t even think about that. 

I force out a quick, “Oh, that’s true..” 

“Mhmm,” he lets out a little sigh, “And I’ve been spoiled with seeing you all the time.” His hand ran down the back of my head gently. 

“Ohh,” I taunt. I have to tease him a little, asking, “Is someone going to miss me?” 

He pouts his bottom lip, “I fear I just might.”

“Oh, my poor baby,” I coo; my hand holds the side of his face, running my thumb over his cheekbone as he stares back at me. 

He leans into my hand and sighs, “Mmm, I know.” 

“Well, maybe,” I start, tracing my finger along his jaw. “We can play that little game again while I’m home.” 

“Mmm, what game is that?” His eyes focus more on my lips than my eyes, which honestly is okay with me. 

“You know.. where you tell me all the terrible thoughts in your head,” I whisper, leaning closer to him. “And I’ll send you a photoshoot in all the lingerie that I own.”

“All?” His eyebrows raised. 

I giggle to myself, pressing my lips into his. 

“Mhm. Whatever your heart desires, baby.”

He tucked his face into the crook of my neck, and I could feel how warm he was. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. 

“Why are you hiding?” I say through a laugh. 

He double pats my leg, mumbling, “You.” 

“Me!?” 

Sitting up a little, he leans close to my ear, “Sometimes you just say things, and I have to fight demons not to let very specific things happen.”

Oh! I guess I do forget that he’s still a man sometimes. I slid my hand over his lap, and a shitty little smirk laced my lips as I did it. He grabbed my hand insanely fast, making me laugh as he looked at me with his eyebrow perked up. 

“Char– I swear,” his voice lowers. “I’d throw you over my shoulder and run out of here if I could stand up right now.” 

I lay my head against his arm that’s propped up on the back of the seat, looking up at him through my lashes, “I wish you would.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

After one more drink and Jacob composing himself, I watch him glance at the time on his watch.  His English accent made an appearance, “Shall we head back, darling?”

“I think so,” I giggle at him. He holds out his hand for me, keeping my hand in his as we go up to the bar for him to close his tab. 

He let go of me for all of ten seconds, but watching his hands as he signed the bill, sliding his wallet back into his pocket- my mouth was watering. He can be so smooth sometimes, I think, as he slides his hand back into mine. 

“Ready?” 

I nod quickly, “Lead the way, babes.”

We stumble around giggling, hand in hand, and I can’t get over how silly he is when he’s drunk. The smile on this boy is brighter than the sun. His arm drapes over my shoulders, and I can’t help it when I slide my hand into his. 

He grabs my face, turning my head and leaning in for a kiss or two. Giggling when I ask, “What are we gonna do with this drunken sailor?” 

“Put him in a long boat til’ he’s sober!” 

My jaw drops before the laugh comes out, not anticipating him to sing a sea shanty in the middle of the Old Port. I suppose I shouldn’t be that surprised, considering who we are working with here. 

“Now, is that the only option?” I ask– yes, I know the song. 

“Put him in bed with the captain’s daughter,” his sweet voice sings, wiggling his eyebrows at me. 

He’s so cute; I can’t stand him. 

“Let’s stick with the long boat tonight, Sailor,” I grab his hands as he looks at me, “I like calling you ‘Captain’ too much– I don’t wanna ruin that.” 

He pulls one of my hands up, kissing the back of it and then my knuckles, staring at me the entire time; his little grin kills me as he says, “Every time I think I have my sea legs around you, you say some shit like that.” 

Amid our giggles, he pulls out a cigarette, carefully lighting it. Watching him hold it between his lips as he covers the flame with his hand, preventing the wind from messing with it. I shouldn’t enjoy this like I do. I can see him inhale, and how he breathes out the smoke makes my knees weak. Maybe it’s just the alcohol talking. 

His laugh brought me back to earth, “What?” 

“I– um,” I hesitated, looking down quickly, not necessarily sure of how to tell him that I was just drooling over his bad habit. I look back at him as he’s about to inhale again, but as soon as his hand drops back down, I don’t know what came over me. Stepping in front of him, my hands pull his face to mine, breathing him in as we kiss. My lips encouraged him to just.. exhale into me. I feel his smirk against me. 

He mumbles, “I didn’t think you liked.. that.. kind of thing.”

“Me either.”

His eyebrow raises at my response, “Oh?” 

I laugh at myself before finally caving, “You just look so fine when you do; I guess I don’t mind it.” 

“You think so, huh?” he says smugly, his hand pulling me close to him and settling on my lower back. He mumbles, “Here.” Pulling the cigarette back up to his lips, he takes a small drag before leaning in. His lips slightly parted, breathing the small amount of smoke into me, humming a small ‘mmm’ against my lips as he pulled away. I look to the side, breathing out the little bit of smoke left. 

“Um,” sneaks out of me as I look back at him. The cool air makes the tip of his nose a little red, mixing with the alcohol that has his cheeks tinted pink, his eyes practically twinkling in the dim glow of the moon and a distant street lamp. My heart pounds in my chest as we just stare at each other for what feels like an hour, even though it was maybe a few seconds. Maybe.. this is a little more than a crush. 

His hand moved from my back, sliding down my forearm and into my hand, his sweet little voice mumbling, “Come on, honey. Let’s go home.” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I plop down on the couch, watching him wander around in the kitchen. He finally makes his way over to join me, holding out a glass for me.  

“Trying to keep me drunk, are you?” I ask, taking the glass of what I can only assume is bourbon. 

He giggles as he sits down, “Not drunk, just relaxed.”  

“Mmm, I’m sure,” I raise an eyebrow but still take a sip. “So, what do you guys do for the holiday?” 

He lets out a little sigh, “Well, my parents will be here. They always come up and stay in an Airbnb nearby.” 

“Is that.. bad?” 

“No, not at all. They always get a place big enough so we can all go over and spend the day together,” he says, his tone sounding off. What about that is bothering him? “Sometimes we end up sleeping there; it just depends on how much everyone has to drink or if my mom convinces us to stay there.” He smiles a little, but something just doesn’t seem right about it. Reaching my hand over and running it down the back of his head, playing with a little section of his hair. 

“Is something wrong?” I ask, my eyebrows pulling together as I look at him. 

He sips his drink before answering, “I mean.. no.” 

“Wanna try that again, sailor?” I can’t stop the smirk that grows on my face, and watching him smile back at me made it worth it. 

“I’m just being a little dramatic about it,” he giggles, the most incredible sound I could hear right now. “I know Willa and Quinn are coming this year, and I guess I’m just.. a little bummed about– seventh wheeling.” 

I can’t help but laugh after watching him count in his head to figure it out. I wish I could go with him so he didn’t have to be alone. I mean, I– oh no. 

“Well,” I start. “I will be bored out of my mind with my parents and sister, so I’ll at least bug you throughout the day.”

He turns his head, kissing the palm of my hand before looking back to me, “You’re so sweet. We can be bored together.” I scoot a bit closer to him, letting our legs bump into each other. 

We sit there for a little bit, slowly sipping on our drinks and laughing about random things together. His hand found comfort on my leg, per usual. The fact he put rings on tonight made it hard for me not to want to touch his hands– sitting there twisting them slowly, these need to stay on forever. 

Standing up, he drinks the last of his bourbon and quietly sets his glass in the sink. I watch as he slowly walks off, stopping kind of abruptly once he realizes I’m still sitting here. 

“You comin’, love?” his English accent laid on thick, one eyebrow raised, when he hit me with a wink. My thighs clenched at the sight of it, which he definitely noticed because of that stupid smirk on his face. 

I stand up, wander over to him, and quietly ask, “Where are we going?” 

He leans down, scooping me up in his arms, bridal style, which makes us both laugh, as he starts walking to his room.  

“The real question,” he starts. I hate that the accent is kind of hot. “What do you want to do with this drunken sailor?”  

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty-One

FDOG Master Post | Masterlist | Playlist

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[sirjaketkiszka]

Josh Kiszka One Shot: Just Friends

You share an embarrassing secret with Josh. Turns out, he shares the same one.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Josh Kiszka x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5,253

Warnings: 18+!!, sexual content, cursing, mutual loss of virginity, slight dirty talking, kissing, dry humping/grinding, oral f!receiving, fingering, unprotected sex, oral m!receiving, swallowing, and, of course, mediocre writing.

Disclaimer: apologies for any potential spelling errors or grammar mistakes.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The slight chill in the early summer air causes goosebumps to pepper your bare arms and legs, making your hands subconsciously rub the textured skin. You and Josh retreated to the backyard when Jake’s end-of-the-school-year party got too overwhelming, but a majority of the company had vanished by now. The previous music coming from the house is no longer playing, and the cars that littered the streets have all pulled away.

Golden and blush pink hues paint the skies like rough brush strokes, and minuscule twinkles of surfacing stars shine through the fading clouds. You could stare at the sun-setting sky for hours, but the brisk wind sends a chill up your spine and you grow noticeably uncomfortable.

“Want my jacket?” Josh asks, his head turned toward you as yours cranes upward to the scene above you. His soft voice pulls you to look at him, and you can tell by the way the tip of his nose sports a gentle shade of pink that he’s also cold.

“I’m okay,” You dismiss his question, hoping he’ll leave it alone.

“Please, just take it,” He insists, his hands finding the bottom hem of his oversized hoodie and lifting it above his head, “You know I run hot anyway.” He winks, handing you the bundle of warm fabric. You know his statement is a lie to get you to accept the jacket, but you also know he won’t let the topic go until he gets his way.

“Thank you,” Mumbling under your breath, you slip your arms through the sleeves and allow the fabric to fall over your shoulders and cover your torso. Immediately, your senses are flooded with his rich and comforting scent. Notes of cinnamon, firewood smoke, and the faint smell of weed intertwine themselves in the carefully woven wool of the Baja hoodie.

A comfortable silence falls between the two of you, and the light breeze creates a soft woosh sound; a product of the branches on bordering trees brushing up against each other. The bonfire before you dissipates into a low amber glow, the quiet crackles indicating its last leg. You know it’s time to head back, but just by glancing over to the house, you can tell that Jake is cleaning up and he’ll ask for help the moment you two walk inside.

“So,” Josh’s voice turns your head back to him, “Did you enjoy your first year of college?”

“Um,” You hesitate, giving the question some thought, “Yeah, I did.” Though the tone of your voice says otherwise, and Josh, of course, notices. As a form of comfort, you bring your thumbnail to your parted lips, anxiously nibbling on it while you zone out.

“That wasn’t convincing at all,” Josh chuckles while leaning over and gently wrapping his long fingers around your wrist, stopping you from chewing your nail off. This time, you really look at him; concern is reflected in his furrowed brows, his eyes searching your face for any indication of the truth, “What’s wrong?”

One thing is for certain, Josh always knows when you are upset. It sometimes feels like he knows you better than you know yourself, which can get a little annoying, especially when you prefer to process certain things privately. Although, with being friends since elementary school, his accurate reading of your emotions is a given.

“Well, I guess I expected more,” You shrug, avoiding the real reason.

“Like what?” He pushes, and your pulse begins to climb under his interrogating stare as he’s nearly falling out of his seat, quite literally on the edge of it. If you tell him you don’t want to talk about it, he will let it go, but another part of you wants to tell him.

“I just– Ugh,” You groan, the words proving hard to form because of how embarrassed you feel by them, “I expected more male attention.” Your words are rushed, your eyes diverting from his softening gaze. God, you hate when he pities you.

“Oh,” His lack of response surprises you, and you can’t help but notice the subtle disappointment laced in his features, “What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know,” A frustrated huff exhales from you, and you slump in the uncomfortable lawn chair, “A relationship maybe– my first relationship.”

“Well, you know, the right person will–”

“And my first time,” You blurt out. Both yours and Josh’s eyes widen at your admission and, of course, you panic and continue, “I know we don’t talk about our sex lives with each other, but I thought maybe I would’ve lost it by now.” You feel so juvenile avoiding the word virginity, but you can’t help it, and you’re afraid of any potential nearby listeners.

“It’s perfectly normal to wait,” He soothes, and you only now realize that his hand is still wrapped around your limp wrist, absently rubbing small circles on your smooth skin with his thumb.

“I know, but… I don’t want to,” You sigh, feeling as though a weight’s been lifted off of you, and now you can openly express your disappointment, “I know I shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but I am, and part of me does want to wait for the ‘right’ person, but another wants to just get it over with, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” He sits back in his chair, releasing your wrist and resting his hands on the chair’s armrests, “If it makes you feel better, I haven’t done it either.”

“Wait, really?” You sit up a little, and he smirks at your enthusiasm. When you think about it, Josh hasn’t ever dated anyone long enough to get to that point, so it should make sense, yet you still assumed he lost it somewhere along the way. You’re not entirely sure why you’re so relieved to hear that he’s still a virgin, like you, but you can’t help but smile.

“Don’t sound so excited,” He laughs, his head thrown back and perfect teeth flashing.

“I’m not!” You giggle, “Just surprised, that’s all.”

“I guess I’m just waiting for the right person,” He shrugs, resting his head on the back of his chair and staring up at the darkening sky. The previously colorful shades morph into a jet-black sky, and the stars freckle the dark backdrop. The temperature will only lower from this point on, and when you take another glance at the house, there’s no more movement, just the soft glow of the television from the living room. “Hey, what if–” Josh breaks the brief moment of silence, and you’re eager to hear his thoughts, “Never mind.”

“What if what?” You urge, fully sitting up in your seat.

“It’s nothing,” He shakes his head, brushing you off.

“Oh c’mon, Josh,” You nearly whine, curiosity getting the best of you. You have an inkling of what he might say, but then again, the idea is ridiculous. Absurd, even. He’d never suggest a thing like that.

“I was going to say we could… you know… together,” Oh, he would suggest it, apparently. He glances over at you, then away, his voice hardly a whisper by the end of his sentence, and you’re left speechless, “It’s stupid, I know. I thought maybe because we’re best friends that it wouldn’t be so weird, but I can see now that it is weird, so let’s ignore–”

“Okay.” You cut him off, his lips sealing and eyes holding yours.

“Okay… let’s ignore it?” He asks.

“No, okay as in ‘let’s do it’,” You explain, and his jaw nearly drops, “If you’re okay with it, and I’m okay with it, what’s the harm?”

“I–” He pauses, “That’s true. Are you sure?”

“Yes,” You respond confidently, “Are you sure? We totally don’t have to.”

“No, no, I want to,” He rushes out, and you have to fight back the smile that threatens to pull at your lips.

“So,” You drag out the word, feeling a little awkward, “When should we…?”

“Oh! Um,” He looks around and takes note of the empty house, all prior company is suddenly gone and the street is empty, “We could do it now?”

“Like now, now?”

“Unless you don’t want to!”

“No, let’s go,” You say, nodding your head toward the house and getting up. His gaze follows you, his eyes locked on yours as he gets up from his chair. The fire has dwindled into nothing but smoking ashes, and the only light that guides your way is the dimly lit back porch light. Your footsteps create quiet thuds into the overgrown grass, and you try to be courteous while climbing up the steps to the sliding door. Josh follows closely behind you, letting you walk in first, and you both remove your shoes by the door.

The kitchen is surprisingly clean– you almost can’t tell that there had been a party just over an hour ago. The rest of the house is eerily quiet, but the muffled sound of the living room TV carries into the kitchen, and you both have to walk through the room to get to the stairs. When you peer into the living room, Jake is sprawled out on the couch, clicking through channels and sipping on his last drink of the night.

“Hey, guys, I was wondering when you’d come inside,” He greets you and his twin, although he doesn’t look away from the TV.

“Hey, Jake,” Josh steps in front of you, addressing his twin, “We’re going to go watch a movie in my room, let us know if it gets too loud.”

On any other day, that would be a normal thing for the two of you, but tonight, it feels very different. It isn’t out of the ordinary for you to stay late and watch movies with Josh, but it is out of the ordinary to lie about what you were actually going to do, and somehow, you feel like Jake knows. He couldn't possibly know, but your conscience says otherwise.

“No worries,” Jake mutters into his cup, taking a sip and finally settling on a channel to his liking.

Josh motions for you to follow him, walking past the TV and up the stairs. Your pulse pounds in your ears the closer you get to Josh’s room, and you swallow down the anxious lump in your throat when he opens the door for you, allowing you to walk in first and lock the door behind you. You’ve been in his room plenty of times, but again, this is under different circumstances.

He rushes past you and slips a random DVD into his small TV, turning the volume up considerably loud. When he turns to face you, a nervous smile is on his lips, and you’re sure your expression is mirroring his. Was this a good idea? Only one way to find out.

Taking a seat on the bottom edge of his twin-sized bed, you pat the empty spot next to you, urging him to sit down. He moves quickly, sitting beside you and turning to look at you. His eyes frantically search your features, and yours do the same, taking in his appearance; his face is slightly flushed, and his shoulders show how deeply he’s breathing, slowly rising and slowly falling.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, his voice coming out in barely a whisper.

“Yes,” The single word comes out in a quick huff, and only now do you realize how you’ve been holding your breath, anticipation prickling up your spine. Josh’s eyes zero in on your lips, his upper body leaning toward you, gravitating your own to him. Through parted lips, quick breaths exit the both of you, brushing against each other when you get closer, and eventually collide.

With eyes fluttering close, his lips are plush and perfectly molded against yours. The feeling is foreign, but a feeling you wholeheartedly welcome. Only a fleeting moment passes before your lips move fluidly with his, causing heat to rise to your neck and settle in your scarlet cheeks. Desperate for his touch, your hand reaches for his, guiding him underneath his sweatshirt that you’re still wearing, and allowing his fingers to glide along your bare waist. Your stomach clenches and a small gasp is pulled from you when his hand slides up your ribs and settles just below the cup of your bra, gripping the heated flesh slightly.

Pulling away, your eyes peel open to hold his gaze; his pupils are blown, his irises nearly pitch black, and his plump lips are a shiny maroon. Soft pants leave the both of you, eyes wide and yearning for more.

“Are we really doing this?” He asks, breathless, his brows scrunching in disbelief.

“I don’t want to stop,” You admit, your hand on his caressing reassuringly.

“Neither do I,” He says with a smile, flashing the gap between his teeth. You always love it when it shows through his toothy grin, a result of his goofy laugh or pure excitement. From now on, you will think of this moment, and that thought scares you, but yet, you can’t find it within yourself to care.

“Good,” You smirk, pulling away from him while backing up fully onto his bed, only stopping when your head hovers above his pillows. He remains at the end of the bed with his hand that was once on your skin subconsciously reaching out to you. “Come here,” You instruct him.

He turns over to crawl up the bed, his eyes bouncing from yours to your opening legs when he gets closer. Inching over your body, his hips lay snug against yours, and you hold back the surprised moan that settles in your throat when you feel his growing bulge against your core. He wastes no time placing his lips on yours again, letting his arms hold himself up on either side of your head, caging you in.

Your legs lazily tangle with his, your hands coming up to grip his clothed waist. This kiss is unlike the last; it’s fervent, hungry, and urgent. His breathing is heavy through his nose, and your small whimpers travel into his haste kisses while he absently grinds into you. Heat pools in your core when his bulge massages your aching clit, causing whimpers to mix with needy moans, and rough grunts to catch in the back of Josh’s throat, muffled by the kiss.

Moving his hips faster, your mouth opens to let out a moan, but his tongue swipes against yours, silencing you. The simultaneous sensation of him grinding into you and his tongue clashing with yours dulls your senses, drowning out the blaring sound of the movie playing, making you dizzy. If you found his scent comforting, his taste is all the same; smokey, cinnamon, and just Josh.

Pressing a final peck to your partially open lips, he travels down your chin to your jawline, leaving open-mouth kisses along your jawbone. Breathless moans consistently brush past your parted lips as he moves to your neck, your head tilting to allow him better access. Traveling up from his waist, one of your hands rests on the back of his neck, intertwining his braided rat tail between your fingers. He gently sucks on the sensitive skin below your ear, making sure to pull away before leaving a mark of any sort.

“Can I try something?” His words are broken up between gentle pecks, slightly muffled by the crook of your neck. When he pulls away, you nod eagerly, watching him sit back on the heels of his feet and gripping the bottom of your hoodie. Sitting up slightly, you let him lift the garment off of you, leaving you in just your tank top and shorts. A small smile pulls at the corner of his lips, his eyes shamelessly admiring your flushed state, heavily breathing with legs spread open for him. “May I?” He asks, sliding his hands up your bare thighs, inching up the rough fabric of your denim jeans, and stopping just where the button and zipper are.

Nodding again, he unbuttons your shorts and slowly unzips them, his fingers hooking into the waistband and tugging gently. You lift your hips, allowing him to slide the fabric over your ass and hips, and down your legs. He tosses the shorts somewhere behind him, his focus solely on your clothed cunt. His jaw is slack, his tongue swiping along his lower lip as fingers trace the hem of your underwear.

You silently thank your past self for choosing such cute underwear; a simple black cotton pair with a lace waistband. If only you knew how handy it would become. His eyes flick up to yours, “Can I take them off?” His voice oozes with tenderness, though there’s a slight tremble, telling you that he’s just as nervous as you are. The thought oddly soothes you, reminding you that this is his first time too.

“Please,” You beg, slowly nodding and swallowing back the nerves that come with being completely exposed to him. You figure the anxiousness would be worse had you agreed to do this with someone you don’t know as well as Josh, and the closer you get to the real thing, the more eager you are. He removes your underwear at a tantalizing pace, the stretchy fabric sliding over the hills of your ass when you lift your hips, and peeling off your wet slit. If your face could get any hotter, you’re sure your cheeks are dark maroon, and you fight the urge to close your legs when he nearly stops breathing at the sight of you.

“So beautiful,” He mumbles to himself, and barely audible enough for you to hear. Your hands fidget with the sheets on either side of you, and you watch as he leans forward, pressing a tender kiss to your bent knee, and then to the other. He takes his time alternating between legs, leaving gentle kisses along your thighs as he repositions himself to lay on his stomach, his head just inches from where you want him. Feeling his soft breaths cascade on your soaked cunt, you fight the urge to grind your hips upward, desperate for relief of any sort.

Thankfully, he takes the hint, likely noticing your restraint and near lack thereof. His hands press on your inner thighs, prompting you to spread them wider, and he holds you there. Leaning forward, he presses a light kiss on your clit and your hips writhe at the simple gesture. If that can get you worked up, you aren’t prepared for what’s next.

He places another kiss, firmer this time, and a moan carries itself out with the shaky exhale you release. Just when you think you can’t take the teasing any longer, Josh swipes his tongue along your slit, and your back arches at the foreign feeling. If this felt otherworldly, how did actual sex feel? More swipes of his tongue pull incoherent words from you, mumbled between desperate whines and surprised gasps. Low hums vibrate his tongue, and his hips absentmindedly grind into his mattress, his eyes closed and eyebrows synched while he tastes you.

“Oh my, God,” You breathe out, feeling the warmth erupt in your lower abdomen and send waves of pleasure straight to your core, “You’re so good,” Encouraging words elicit him to flick his tongue on your swollen clit, and a deep groan pushes past your lips as you throw your head back in his pillows and a free hand carefully grasps at his curls, “Fuck— Just like that, please, Josh.”

One of his hands holding your thighs apart slides along the plush flesh, and you gasp when his middle finger toys with your entrance, “Is this okay?” He mumbles against your clit.

You nod frantically, “God, yes, please.”

Slowly pushing his middle finger in, he continues his attention on your clit, distracting you from the feeling of your walls stretching around the digit. There’s no pain, but you know he’s just trying to get you adjusted to feeling full. Short pumps and the curl of his finger press against your g-spot, and you whine at the feeling, your back peeling off of the mattress.

Trembling legs, the string of breathless moans, and the uncontrollable writhing of your hips signal a close release. You’re so close to finishing, feeling your walls pulse around him, but you’re afraid that it’ll end once you reach climax.

“Need more,” You mutter while lifting your head and tugging on his hair slightly, making him look up at you, “Need you inside me.”

He pulls his mouth away quickly and removes his finger leisurely, eager much like you are, and returns to his kneeled position between your legs— your hands returning to their resting position on either side of you. Without a word, he lifts his t-shirt over his head and you nearly salivate at his impressive physique. Sure, you’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times, and yet, this is different; his abs clench with every passing breath, his shoulders visibly heaving, and to top it all off, his lips and chin shine in the dimly lit room, a product of you.

Cautious eyes observe him while he unbuttons his khaki shorts, unzipping them and pulling them down just enough to pool around his bent knees. His erection strains in his boxers, begging to be released, and when he pulls the waistband down, you swallow thickly. The tip of his cock leaks precum, and his hand wraps around the shaft, pumping lazily. Your gaze travels up his body, settling on his face, which reflects how eager and nervous he is.

“Shit… I don’t have a condom,” His meek voice admits with a chuckle, “We don’t have to—”

“No! It’s okay,” You rush out, a little too impatiently, but you really wanted this and didn’t want to back out now, “We’ll just be… safe.”

“Okay… Okay, yeah, we’ll be safe,” He nods, understanding what you mean. Leaning forward, his fingers still wrapped firmly around his length, he rests his other hand on the pillow beside your head. A shared shaky breath leaves both of you when his tip glides between your folds, roughly circling your clit and gathering the wetness. Slowly, he positions his tip with your weeping entrance, and the pressure causes you to hold your breath, “Ready?” He asks, making sure to maintain strong eye contact.

“Yes,” You choke out, still afraid to breathe.

“Let me know if it hurts too much,” He comforts, and while you appreciate it, you want— no, need— him now, “We’ll stop, okay?”

“I know,” You swiftly nod while your eyes shoot between his and his erection poking at your cunt, “I’m ready. Are you?” You make sure to ask, realizing how reassuring he’s been this entire time, and afraid that you’ve been lacking the same hospitality.

“Of course,” He smirks, and his hips move forward by an inch, letting his tip be consumed by you. Your chest gets tight, your lungs stalling as you anticipate pain of any sort, “Breathe,” He comforts, inching deeper into you, “Just relax, mama.”

His unusual pet name almost distracts you from the stretching feeling of his cock pushing into you, your walls doing their best to accommodate his size. You breathe deeply, letting out shaky exhales as your wide eyes lock onto his, a sharp gasp pulling into your lungs when he eventually bottoms out. A relieved groan melts from Josh’s tongue; his eyebrows scrunched in pleasure, and his lips agape. The stinging sensation is dull, not overwhelming in the slightest, but you still grip Josh’s waist, waiting for it to hurt.

“You feel so– fuck,” His voice is strained, his hips unable to move while his cock twitches inside of you, wanting more. His eyes nearly roll when you absently squeeze around him, pulling a drawn whine from him, “How can someone feel so… good.” His words send a rush of arousal to your core, coating his erection as he inches his hips back, and carefully pushes back in.

“Holy shit,” Your words are dragged out by a moan, surprised by how natural this feels. You expected blistering pain with little to no pleasure involved, but this felt delicious. As his tip brushes against your textured walls, a mixture of your whimpers and his breathy grunts tangle in the space between you, silencing the TV that plays loudly just feet away from you.

“How does that feel?” He murmurs, his voice lost when he speeds up slightly, the previous resistance no longer present, allowing him to glide in and out of you effortlessly. With his gaining speed, your legs wrap around his waist, creating a new angle that pulls him in deeper.

“So good, Josh,” You cry out, your eyes squeezing shut as the pressure rebuilds itself in your gut, “Please, don’t stop.” He quickens his thrusts, repositioning his arm beside you, resting his upper body weight on his elbow and forearm. His free hand explores your curves; gripping your thighs, your waist, skimming over your clothed breasts, and finally sliding down to your spread cunt.

“Does that feel good?” He sweetly whispers directly in your ear, lazily rubbing circles around your clit. Your hand flies from his waist to his, guiding him to press firmer and rub faster.

“Fuck, yes!” Your words grow increasingly louder the closer your climax gets, and your distracted mind forgets the company that resides in the story just below you.

“God, you feel so good,” Josh’s husky voice and quick breaths brushing against your earlobe add to your pleasure, heightening your peak and tightening the wounding coil, “So warm, so tight.”

“Oh god, Josh,” You whine, your other hand leaving his waist and sliding up his back, your nails pressing crescent moons into the warm skin. “I’m close,” Crying out, your legs tighten around his waist, and your hand grips his wrist, encouraging him to keep going, “Shit!”

The coil in your abdomen snaps, sending a rush of heat through your limbs and core, causing your legs to frantically shake around him and your cunt to rapidly squeeze him as he continues pumping into you. Eyes shooting open to look at the ceiling, your vision is hazy and hearing is muffled, the only sound being let in is the distant string of profanities and cries. Whispered phrases like “That’s right,” “It’s okay,” and “Holy shit.” leave Josh’s lips, which press against the top of your ear.

The final pulses of your orgasm grasp around his length and your moans melt into exasperated breaths, your chest heaving against his. Placing soft kisses along your jawline, he moves further down, peppering along your exposed collarbone and nibbling on the thin skin. His hips gradually slow down, and he practically comes to a halt.

“What- why are you slowing down? Are you okay?” Your words are rushed, and they pull him to look at you, a lazy smile plastered on his plump lips. His face is completely flushed; red splotches cross the bridge of his nose and make a home of his naturally rosy cheeks.

“It’s okay, nothing’s wrong,” He assures, pressing a soft peck to your parted lips, “I just need a minute,” He chuckles as his hips tiredly thrust into you, “I’m so close.” His admission gives you an idea and a favor you’d like to return.

“Wait,” He immediately stops when the word leaves your lips, and his eyes are piercing, afraid he might’ve done something wrong, “Can I– Can I taste you?” Your shy voice comes out in a whisper. His face is stunned, but if it’s possible, his eyes grow darker, clearly enjoying the thought.

“Of course,” He chokes out, clearing his throat. Carefully pulling out, a noise of resistance exits both of you. Glancing at his cock, it’s covered in your release, and your mouth waters at the sight. You switch positions with him, letting him lay on the bed while you sit in between his legs. In the process, he’s taken both his shorts and boxers off, leaving him bare to you.

His eyes are expectant, patiently waiting and watching as you bend forward, lightly grasping his member with your hand and gently placing a kiss on his leaking tip. His hips jut forward, chasing your mouth when you pull away, looking at him with a satisfied smile on your face.

Leaning forward again, your lips part and wrap around his sensitive tip, sucking delicately and pulling a trembling sigh from Josh. The saltiness of his precum and the taste of your climax coat your tastebuds, making your mouth water. Swirling your tongue around him, you plunge deeper, inching his erection into your mouth until his tip pushes against the back of your throat. To prevent yourself from gagging, you hum, making his cock twitch. A sharp gasp pierces his lungs when you pull away and immediately sink back down, your head slowly bobbing on his length.

“Oh, my God,” He mumbles, your eyes shooting to his while you work your way up and down, sucking just enough, “that feels so– fuck.” His head falls back with his eyebrows scrunched, and his hips do their best not to thrust into you, chasing his own release. You move quicker, ignoring the stinging sensation of tears gathering on your waterline, “Keep going, oh god,” You do, sucking harshly, “I’m gonna come.”

His choked words morph into mouth-watering whines, encouraging you to work faster, pulling his orgasm from him. Rushed-out curses leave his sweet lips as his hips sputter and stomach clenches, his cock twitching deep within your mouth. A hand flies to your hair, silently begging for you to keep going while spurts of hot cum coat the back of your tongue. The feeling is overwhelming, and the liquid threatens to leak from the corners of your mouth as you continue your work on him, only pulling away when his erection no longer spasms with every passing of your lips.

When his head finally lifts from the pillows, you swallow eagerly, making sure to hold his amazed stare when you do so. His eyes are shining, cheeks deep red, and his lips stay parted. His eyes are wide as his hand travels from your hair to your cheek, cradling your face and wiping away the drop of cum that escaped on the corner of your mouth with a swipe of his thumb.

“That was—” He breathes out, his chest rapidly rising and falling, an appreciative smile falling on his lips.

“It was,” You shoot back, smiling in return and crawling up his body, surprising him with a firm peck. His hands grip your waist, his chin lifting to deepen the kiss, a pleased hum vibrating your lips.

Knock Knock

The two of you separate at an impressive speed with Josh scrambling to cover you with the blanket located at the end of his bed. Even with the door locked, you feel panic rising in your throat, making you feel sick, “Yeah?” Josh calls out.

“I’m going to bed, can you turn the volume down?” Jake’s muffled voice comes from behind the door, presumably clueless to the state in which you and Josh are in.

“Yes! Sorry!” Josh quickly replies, rushing to the TV and turning the knob, making the volume gradually lower until the room is near silent. When he turns back to you, you both stifle a laugh, and you lift the blanket, motioning for him to join you. “Shouldn’t I get dressed first?”

“Hmmm,” You think about it, lifting a brow and smugly smirking, “Nah.”

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

My second Josh one shot, hurray! It’s a little different from what I usually write, but I hope you enjoyed! <3

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Taglist:

@musicislove3389

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Tags:

[moonlightisdancing]

Grapefruit Juice/j.m.k

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: NSFW MINORS DNI 18+ jealousy, mutual masturbation, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), dom josh/sub reader, food play, a little bit of discipline & cockwarming if you squint, mocking/teasing, praisepraisepraise

as always pls lmk if any tags are missed

a/n: this one’s been brewing since this picture dropped… sorry to keep it for so long…

——————🧡——————

“I don’t like that you do that.” You huff, throwing yourself into a chair opposite of where Josh’s sitting.

“What’s the matter? Jealous?” He smirks, stretching his arm across the back of the couch.

“No! Just- what if you get sick or something? It’s not always about jealousy, Josh.”

“Seems to me like you’re pretty jealous. Maybe I should bring one of those girls back here instead.”

“What do you mean?” You know what he means, you were more giving him a chance to fix his statement than you were asking for clarification.

“I mean I came back here, ready to fuck my girl after a long show, and she’s bitching because I kissed a couple fans. But those fans,” He leans forward while waving his hand towards the door of the green room. “They’d be glad to watch me touch myself, let alone be the one doing it.”

“Then do it.” If he wants to play games, you’ll play, too. You knew he wouldn’t actually bring someone backstage, especially for sex, it was more risky than a kiss. Josh sighs and stands from the couch before making his way to the door.

“Yeah? And make you watch?” A tinge of jealousy resurfaces as you watch him slowly wrap his fingers around the door handle. He looks back at you, almost waiting for you to protest his actions, but you don’t. No matter how much jealousy boils inside, you won’t let him win. Gripping the arm rests with your hands, you begin pushing yourself out of the chair.

“Aht, sit and stay.” Josh glares at you with a hint of annoyance, his coffee brown eyes warning you to obey him.

The worst part is you did obey him.

Sitting and wallowing in your shame, you wait for what feels like forever before Josh returns. His presence lingers behind the door, his voice low as he speaks to someone. When a female voice responds, all sense of security is ripped from you. The door handle rustles before finally opening, Josh peeking his head through the gap.

“Look at you, all obedient and shit,” He quips, staring deep into your soul as he brings the rest of his body inside the room, shutting the door behind him. He changed and returned with… A grapefruit? Josh is wearing his usual outfit, those damned khaki pants and a white t-shirt he somehow always kept white. He barely removed his makeup, remnants of black eyeliner smeared across his lower lash line. Your eyes can’t stop watching as he tosses the grapefruit in his hand, effortlessly catching it each time.

Josh makes his way to the couch in silence, leaning back into the cushions as he continues staring at you. He was playing a game, granted you weren’t sure what kind. Josh digs his thumbs into the top of the grapefruit, and just when you think he’d start peeling it, he turns it around and presses his thumbs into the other side. You inch yourself forward on the chair, trying your best to understand what the hell he’s doing. While he continues with the silence, working his fingers into the fruit, you decide to keep the game going.

“So where’s the lucky girl?” You chide, and disregarding the length of your skirt you cross one leg over the other. Josh’s eyes can’t help but meet your lace covered core as you catch him biting his lip.

“Oh, she’s right in front of me,” He sighs, licking the grapefruit juice off his thumbs before adjusting himself on the couch. “Except I wouldn’t call her lucky.”

The sight of his thumbs tucked between his pretty lips drives you mad. Oh how you wish it was your mouth he shoved his fingers into until you gagged on the flavor.

“Yeah? And why is that?”

“Because you’re not allowed to touch me, only watch.” His free hand reaches down and begins undoing the zipper and button to his pants, he isn’t wearing underwear allowing his thick cock to be instantly on display. Your eyes widen at the sight of him, and quickly fall at the remembrance of his words.

Not allowed to touch.

But you were instructed to watch, so you do. Your eyes fix on his hands fiddling the grapefruit and only then did you put the pieces together. Josh’s left hand slowly inches down his torso until his cock is settled in his palm, his right hand bringing the grapefruit to his tip. Josh winces at the feeling of the cold citrusy juice dripping down his length onto his pelvis. All you want is to lick him clean as the juice continues spilling onto his tan skin. Each painfully slow flick of his wrist makes more of a mess both of him and you, a warm slick pooling at your core. Desperate for any sort of contact, you squeeze your crossed legs tighter together and roll your hips.

“Shame you’ve been such a brat, wish your pussy was making a mess instead…” Josh furrows his brows as he works the deep pink fruity flesh over his shaft, careful not to make too much of a mess on the white couch below him.

“Please?” You desperately whine at the thought of him inside of you.

“I don’t think so. Sit back for me, mamas.” He gestures with his left hand, his right still slowly working the grapefruit over his cock. You follow his instructions, uncrossing your legs to sit back against the chair.

“Go ahead, touch yourself for me.” Josh instructs, his pace growing slower.

You reach your hands down and pull your panties to the side, running your fingers through your velvety folds. He hums in approval as you begin working your fingers over your bud. Having him so close yet so far away is punishment in and of itself, but your inability to get off on your own is just as bad. You watch his cock stretch the grapefruit, fucking the insides into a pulpy mess only wishing that were you. In a desperate attempt to feel any semblance of him inside, you dip two fingers into your throbbing cunt, trying to curl them the way he does. Josh raises his eyebrows and watches you in amusement, shaking his head back and forth.

“Josh…” You mewled, eyes silently begging him for more.

“You make it so hard to be mad at you,” He sighs again and stops jerking himself off, calling you over with two fingers.

You lower your legs to the ground before bringing yourself to the edge of the chair and ultimately to your knees, crawling across the floor until you kneeled between his legs. Waiting for instructions, your eyes remain fixed on the grapefruit resting at the base of his cock. Josh slowly works the citrus up his length again, hissing at the feeling as it engulfed his tip, popping off the top with a lewd sound that echoes against the walls.

“See that?” He asks in a deep, sultry voice, gesturing to the fruit induced mess at the base of his cock.

“Mhm...” You hum and nod.

“Clean it up.”

You begin reaching your hand up, and when your fingers barely wrap around his shaft, he slaps your hand and grabs your wrist.

“Did I tell you to touch me?” He scoffs, tossing your arm to the ground.

“Well, how am I-”

“How am I?” He mocks, a smirk forming at the corners of his lips. “You’re allowed to use your tongue, that’s it. Now clean it up.”

With the sting of his touch fresh on your hand, you’re much more mindful of where your hands rest as you begin licking his skin clean. You aren’t typically one for grapefruit, but Josh makes it your favorite flavor. You lap at and slurp the tangy juice and pulp, dragging your tongue across every inch of his pelvis and cock until nothing remains on his skin. Josh nods as you hover your mouth over his leaking tip, giving you permission to feed his shaft into your mouth.

You are careful, mindful and gentle with each passing of your tongue over his delicate skin, grateful he’s allowing you to touch him so much. Hesitantly, you bring one hand up and press it against his balls, softly rolling them in your palm. It’s not long before precum leaks from his tip, quickly followed by his hot release as he begins fucking your throat. Stinging in the back of your throat is present accompanied by tears pooling in the corners of your eyes as his cum spills down your throat.

“Such a good girl, swallow for me.” He encourages.

At the conclusion of your task, Josh brings his hand to cradle your face, wiping your tears before trailing his thumb down to trace your bottom lip.

“You want a treat?” Josh asks almost condescendingly, but you know he means well.

You nod your head yes and his other hand meets your lips with a wedge of grapefruit tucked between his thumb and index, gently pushing the sticky fruit into your mouth. Josh continues pushing pieces of tangy goodness onto your tongue, praising you when each piece was swallowed.

“So pretty when your mouth’s full, mamas.”

“Thank you,” You blush, turning into his palm. It’s amazing how even in these moments he remains sweet as can be.

“C’mere,” Josh helps you to your feet, placing his hands on the backs of your thighs to guide you over his waist. His fingertips knead your skin, lips working over the bit of cleavage your tank top allows. Josh’s hands inch up until they meet your panties, tugging them to the side with fervor. He reaches his hand further between your thighs until ultimately giving you what you want, his fingers buried deep inside. You fight the urge to grasp onto his shoulders as you follow his instructions, instead digging your nails into your own thighs.

Not allowed to touch.

“Fuck, you’re so wet, baby.” Josh’s breath hitches in his throat as he slowly pumps his fingers in and out. The only thing you want more in this moment is to sink down onto his length and feel him the closest way you can. Sensing your desire, he removes his fingers and places his hands on your hips, pushing you down onto his cock. Still unsure if you can touch him, you grip the edges of your skirt instead, your knuckles turning white with pleasure.

Josh holds you down on his cock as he begins kissing up your neck, sending chill bumps across your skin and drawing a whine from your lips. You could feel the heat creeping across your chest and cheeks as his teeth grazed your earlobe.

“You can touch me now,” Josh mumbled into your skin. It’s a matter of seconds before your fingers find themselves tangled in his hair, tugging handfuls at the base as he gently starts to fuck into your aching pussy.

Josh’s hands travel from your hips to laying flat across your back before he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest. Each thrust is intentional and melodic in its own way, the unusual angle hitting new spots neither of you knew about. Josh’s forehead becomes coated in a thin sheen of sweat pressed against your chest as his lips leave marks across your breasts.

Your head falls forward, cheek resting against Josh’s curly mess of hair as your arms wrap around his head and neck. The two of you find a rhythm that works, switching between lifting your hips and slamming them down to match his movements and grinding your clit against his pelvis. You pull his hair enough to bring his head back, exposing his lips to the cool air of the room. His chin is wet in a delicious combination of sweat and saliva from the open mouth kissing across your breasts, but that doesn’t stop you from pressing your lips against his to taste him. He tastes sweet, salty and desperate in all of the right ways.

Passion and pleasure washes the two of you as you both come undone in one anothers grasp, the unraveling threads intertwining and sewing you together. Soft uh’s and both your names fill the air as you tighten around Josh’s length, ultimately aiding in his warm release pouring into you. You think of the way his pretty pink cock looked tearing through the grapefruit, thankful that you got to feel the stretch he previously only let you watch from across the room.

The two of you lay together, Josh’s softening dick still buried inside your throbbing cunt. Even without being hard, he fills you perfectly. Tired kisses are exchanged alongside a mumbled mix of I love you’s and other domestic thoughts before he clears his throat and speaks.

“You done being jealous now?” Josh chides, smirking against your lips.

“M’not jealous.” You groaned.

“S’okay if you are, you’re still my baby.”

[wildbluesorbit]

brutally being yeeted into twin lane against my will and better judgment🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

insta - veronica7x

[jordie-gvf]

Aphrodite’s Kiss, Josh Kiszka

word count :

warnings : language, oral f rec, pussy kissing, aftercare, i don’t think there’s anymore! let me know if i missed any!

enjoy, i sure did 😩

if there was one thing josh loved more than you and his patchouli body soap, it was kissing your pussy. before he ate you out, he kissed her for a lifetime. if he had it his way, he wouldn’t eat you out. he’d only kiss.

when he came home from work, you could tell something was up.

“what happened?” you asked him, as soon as he walked in the door.

“fuckin sam. you know how the youngest can be, annoying, as all fuck.” he told you, sitting to the right of you on the couch as you watched your ghost hunting show. he wrapped his right arm around your waist, moving his left behind your head. he peppered kisses to your neck, nudging your head with his nose. “come on, baby. been a long day. let me kiss her.”

“i’m in the middle of the episode, it’ll be done soon, i promise.”

“who said you had to stop watching your show?” he questioned, tugging on the waistline of your grey lounge pants. “joshua, give me 20 minutes and i’ll let you do whatever you want.”

“i want her now, please mama. i bet you’re so fuckin wet, couldn’t have my touch all day. did you touch your pretty cunt today? i touched my cock, thinking about your gorgeous body. tell me, when you’re alone do you imagine my fingers in your cunt? fucking you until you squirt all around my fingers.”

“actually no i didn’t,” you said sarcastically, “but i did think about your pretty mouth.”

“tell me, baby. what’d you think about? my lips? my tongue? my teeth? what was it baby?”

he propped up a pillow behind you and laid you down on the couch. he kissed your collarbone and kissed his way down your body. “don’t be coy, my love. tell me. did you think about me eating this delicate cunt? or was i sucking this pretty little button in my mouth?” he said, gently pressing his thumb into your mound.

“joshy, please.” you moaned out, lacing your fingers through his hair.

“joshy, please,” he imitated you, pulling your pants down to your ankles.

he grabbed your white panties at the bow on the elastic and pulled tightly, outlining your cunt in the cloth. “look at that pussy, so fucking gorgeous. your little clit is peeking out at me.”

he let go and inhaled your scent. “god, she smells so fucking good.” he nuzzled his nose into your clit and you let out a moan, gripping his hair tighter. he pressed his first kiss of the night onto your clit.

“go ahead, watch your show, i’ll be right here. making sweet love to this cunt.”

he pressed tiny kisses to the entirety of your cunt, leaving his love all over you. he moved your shirt up to grip your tits.

he pulled your panties off of you, sticking to your pussy, the once white material now see through. “god, i can’t wait to eat this pussy, missed you so much.”

“he’s not here right now, joshy. just me and you.”

“you’re damn right he’s not here, he’d be very ashamed of the both of us, sweetness.”

he handed you the remote from behind him and said, “watch the show, my love. i’ll keep myself busy.”

you quickly moved your hands to the back of his head and maneuvered his face down to your cunt.

“in time sweetness, in time.”

“if you make me wait any longer, im going to go upstairs and fuck my hand in our bed.”

“you will do no such thing, my love,” he said and put his mouth directly on your cunt. your head thrashed around on the pillow supporting you. you intertwined your fingers through his hair as he destroyed your pussy.

incomprehensive noises flying throughout the small, homey living room. moans, sucking, licking, sucking.

he moved his right hand off your breast and slowly drug his fingers down your body. he wrapped your legs around his head and sucked harder, small groans leaving his mouth. he returned his hand to your chest, slowly dragging it up to your neck.

“come on, mama. i know you can cum for me,” he coaxed you, licking feverishly to get you to the edge.

he mocked your moans and slowly squeezed your throat. you started to grind into his face as he stuck his tongue out and let you ride his face, your grip on his hair getting tighter and tighter. your legs had enveloped his head, shaking as you got closer to the beloved end.

“i can feel you’re legs shaking around my head,” he said, in between licks on your cunt. “you can cum my love,”

he kissed your clit and put his lips back on yours. your neck craned, forcing your head back on the arm rest, until you felt white hot pleasure take over your entire body.

“good girl, mama, good fucking girl. you did so good,” he said to you, soothing your strained thighs with small kisses.

“i’ll be right back, i promise.”

he let go of your hips and stood up off the couch. he walked into the kitchen, his chin and chest glistening in the low light.

he grabbed you an ice cold water and a warm washcloth. “let’s get you cleaned up, my love. drink your water” he had you sit up to drink your water and motioned for you to open your legs. he cleaned you off with the warm cloth and delicately wiped you down.

he quickly made way to your room and grabbed you a clean pair of panties and some sweats. he helped you get dressed and laid you back down on the couch in your original position.

he handed you the remote and laid down on top of you, his head resting on your chest.

“now can i watch my show?”

“yes, baby. you can watch your ghost show.”

[holdingup-fallingsky]

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing

Cause I built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And we’re getting older, too

Happy birthday, twinies☀️🌙

[gretavangroupie]

Goldenrod

Word count: 8.1k

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Angst, Toxic Themes and Behavior, Jealousy. Smut: Kissing, Touching, Oral M!Receiving, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Unprotected Sex, Fluff.

A/N: I blame Josh Kiszka, entirely.

It’s a nice place, with tea light candles and fresh flowers on every table. Tucked away on the West side of Nashville, far from the wide eyed tourists and the flashing city lights. It’s quaint, but always busy. A reservation here would cost you. A name or your checkbook, either one will do. You wonder how he managed it, who he knows or what he does. You’d been here only once before, strings pulled and names dropped no doubt. 

The hostess led you to your table, smack dab in the center of the restaurant, commanding all the eyes and attention of the patrons around you. With a curt smile you tucked into your chair and waited for your date. You weren’t really sure why you agreed to this, but after several failed attempts on your own you finally caved. Cambry is a terrible influence and you knew better than to go on a date with a man of her choosing, but here you found yourself in a swanky restaurant at a table for two. 

You didn’t put too much effort into your outfit, opting for a tight black dress and a pair of gold earrings. It showed off your figure without revealing too much. It was tasteful and sexy, everything you want on a first date. 

You knew nothing of the man you were meeting apart from his name. Simon. Cambry assured you that he was perfect for you, claiming how similar the two of you were and citing you had similar taste in music. So, you agreed. 

You couldn’t fault him too much for being late, the traffic absolutely horrendous as you made your way through Midtown. You perused the drink menu, placing your order for a dirty martini when the waiter stopped at your table. As you sipped at the briney drink you felt a presence behind you, and you knew Simon must have arrived. 

A tall man, with long dirty blonde hair stepped up to the seat across from you, lifting his hand to shake yours. 

“Hi, I’m Simon. Sorry I’m late, the traffic–”

“Was terrible, I know,” you laugh, shaking his hand. “Y/N.”

He takes his seat as his eyes dart around your face taking you in. “You got a drink I see, any recommendations? I’ve never been here before.”

“I was wondering how you were able to pull a reservation so last minute,” you answer, pushing the drink menu towards him. 

“Ah, called up one of my buddies, works tickets down at Nissan Stadium. Was no trouble,” he boasts as if entry level ticket sales is something to be proud of. 

You smile politely and nod your head, “I got a dirty martini, they are heavy handed on the vermouth so I order gin instead of vodka.”

“Dirty, huh?” he smirks, opening the drink menu. 

You offer a clipped smile, already not liking this guy too much. His frat boy vibes are a little too strong for your liking, and quite frankly is the opposite of what you have ever been into. The waiter steps up a few seconds later, noticing that your date has arrived. 

“What can I get for you sir?”

“I don’t know what all this fancy shit is, do you have Bud Light?” he asks, rapping his knuckles against the table. 

“Um, no sir, I believe the only beer we have on tap is Thunder Ann from Jackalope,” he offers with a pleasant smile. 

“Was that English?” Simon jokes, however, it is not well received by your waiter or yourself. 

“I could bring you a sample if you’d like?” 

He blows out a breath of defeat, “I’ll just have what she’s having, but make mine stronger.”

You raise an eyebrow at his demand, silently kicking yourself for ever agreeing to this. 

The waiter nods and heads off and a sense of dread washes over you as you realize you are about to enter into forced conversation with this stranger. 

“So how do you know Cambry?” he asks, leaning back in his chair like he's at his mothers house. 

You swallow down the distaste and try to answer his question, “Cambry and I work together. She is my office suitemate.”

“Oh so you work at the little music place, too?” he asks, downplaying your career to boost his own ego. 

“I don’t think Sony Music Publishing is a ‘little music place’ but I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion,” you jest.

“What do you do there?” he asks, accepting his drink from the waiter. He takes far too large of a sip before you can answer, shocking the both of you. 

“I’m an account executive, so I do sales, client management, data reports, that kind of thing. How about you? What do you do?” you ask, genuinely curious about what he could possibly do that he would need to belittle your career. 

“Oh well, right now I am kinda just playing the corporate field so to speak. I’ve got a few sweet options in my pocket, but uh, right now I am working down at AT&T. You know that Batman looking building. It’s pretty chill,” he says in an attempt to flaunt.

“Yeah, I know it well actually. What do you do there?” you ask. 

“I’m a field sales representative,” he answers, his voice dropping a little. You feel your eyes practically bulge from their sockets. 

“So, you don’t like, physically work in the building,” you confirm. 

“I mean, I report there at the end of the day,” he replies, trying to blow smoke.

“So if you report there at the end of the day, where do you spend your day?” you ask. 

“Kind of everywhere. I do a lot of driving around. I was able to secure a deal with a new Mexican restaurant over in Hendersonville. They want full fiber and phones. Pretty sweet, might even make a commission on it,” he says pridefully. 

“Wow, a commission too? They are spoiling you,” you taunt. 

“Yeah, I’m about to move up, gonna put me into commercial sales. More office time and less road time,” he says, folding up his menu. Your mind is positively racing at how Cambry thought you two would be a perfect match when he couldn’t be more different than you. 

“So uh, what are you thinking you want to eat?” he asks. 

“I think I might do the farmhouse pasta, the sun dried tomatoes sound good,” you answer, closing your menu as well. 

“Yeah I’m gonna get a steak, I bet they are good here,” he says waving over the waiter. Your face blushes red as he makes a scene to grab his attention.

“Yes sir, we are ready to order,” Simon states, opening up his menu. “I’m gonna have the Porterhouse with mushrooms well done and can you bring a side of ketchup?” 

You think that if your eyes rolled any harder you could see your brain, but alas you must keep your composure and make it through this trainwreck of a date.  

“For you miss?”

“Yes, could I please do the farmhouse pasta? I will also do one more dirty martini,” you smile, hoping the waiter can sense the apology in your tone. 

“Great, I will be back,” he says, stepping away with the gentle nod of his head. 

The evening continues on as you listen to him tell you every uninteresting fact about himself while he dips his shoe leather of a steak in ketchup. You have a hard time finding your own meal appetizing as you watch him eat, a tiny dribble of ketchup at the corner of his lips. He barely gives you a chance to speak as he relives his fraternity glory days, telling you every close call he has ever had with the police and every famous person’s door he’s knocked on since he moved here from Mississippi. 

You down your drink probably a little too fast, trying to decide if you will need another to make it through the last part of this date. You know you will never speak to this man again, and you know you will be giving Cambry a firm talking to come Monday morning. 

The waiter steps up to the table with the check, placing it in front of Simon who sends him a puzzled look. “Oh, actually she’s getting the check tonight.”

“Am I?” you ask, a little confused yourself. You had no problem going dutch, but to be told you were taking the entire responsibility of the bill was a bit of a shock. 

“I mean, yeah, Cambry said you wanted this date, so… I figured since it was your idea, you were paying. I didn’t bring my wallet.”

You feel your mouth go dry at the audacity of his assumption. “I have no problem going dutch,” you say. 

“Yeah, it’s just I didn’t bring my wallet,” he counters, shrugging his shoulders. “I can Venmo you later or something.”

You bite your tongue as you reach for your purse, knowing there is an extremely high chance that this meal will drain his checking account. 

“It’s fine, I can get it. No problem,” you say, pulling your wallet from your purse. Just as you unzip it you feel someone walk up behind you, and the sight of a hand on the waiter's arm. The person leans towards the waiter, saying something quietly in his ear as he slips a silver metal credit card into his hand. 

As you look up you recognize the mass of curls and the crisp white linen. The smell of his cologne forever ingrained in your memory.  Your eyes flash over to Simon who is just as confused as you are, watching the interaction. A few more words are spoken between the waiter and the man you now know is Josh. Your ex. 

The waiter scurries off with Josh’s card just as he turns to face you with a shit eating grin. He then casts a lethal glance to Simon, who at this point is looking rather small. 

“Don’t you know it's distasteful to make your date pay?” he asks, venom in his voice. 

“And you are?” Simon snaps. 

“Well, from my place at the bar I thought I was the competition, but now I’m fairly positive that is not the case. My name is Josh, and I would ask yours but quite frankly I don’t care to know.”

“Josh!” you yelp. 

“What darling, you can’t deny the facts. I’ve been sitting at the bar since you arrived. Was quite the unexpected show, I must admit,” he pauses, “If I’ve misjudged your evening, which, I’m sure I haven’t based on your body language alone, please do feel free to correct me.”

“We’re actually on a date, man,” Simon speaks up, taking you and Josh both by surprise as you turn to stare at him. 

Josh just snickers, shaking his head before turning to you. “Have you had enough, sweets?”

“What do you want, Joshua?” you ask, a little annoyed at his brazenness. 

He cups your chin with his thumb and forefinger as he gives you a knowing look, “Is this what you want? You want me to go?”

You push his hand away and cross your arms over your chest, refusing to answer his question.

“Fuck this,” Simon spouts, pushing away from the table and storming out of the restaurant. 

Josh quickly takes his seat, sitting across from you as he folds his hands on the table. “You’re welcome,” he taunts, accepting the check book back from the waiter.

“A pleasure Mr. Kiszka,” he nods, walking away. 

“Mr. Kiszka? They know you by name here?” you groan, watching a sideways grin pull across his full lips. His eyes glance down to the plate of half eaten food in front of him.

“A well done steak with ketchup? My, my, darling have your standards dipped that low?” he asks, signing the receipt and closing the book. You roll your eyes and reach for your martini glass, however his hand snakes out to grab it first, tossing the rest of it back. 

“What the hell,” you growl. 

“You dumped me for a broke asshole?” he asks, sitting back in the chair. 

“He might have been broke, but I bet he could fuck me more than once every three months,” you snap, pulling ammo from your failed past. 

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, “Now, now, retract the claws sweetness, be my good girl, yeah?”

“I’m not your anything, Josh, and I don’t know what you think is about to happen here, but I can promise you it’s not.”

He stabs at the olive in the martini glass, popping it between his lips. “You sure about that?”

“You completely derailed my date,” you bark. 

“Oh, please Y/N. You were ready to go the moment he introduced himself, late, might I add. You were entirely repulsed through dinner, and you couldn't get a word in edgewise. It may have been a year or so since we called it quits, but I still know you like the back of my hand, darling.”

“You don’t know me like that anymore, Josh.”

He chews the olive as a hum rings through his chest, “Is that why your thighs are clenched together under the table right now, for the first time tonight? Why you can’t seem to sit still, squirming everytime I look at you? The pretty pink blush on your cheeks that happened to appear as soon as I stole his seat? Because I just don’t know you anymore?”

You shake your head and look away, pushing him out of your mind. 

“Look at me, Y/N,” he demands, and instinctually you turn your head. “Own it.”

You meet his eyes and huff out an annoyed breath. “You can’t just walk up to me and think we are going to pick up where we left off. I left you for a reason, Josh.”

“Are you ready to go now that you’ve said your piece?” he asks, pushing his chair away from the table. 

“I drove myself here, and I’ll drive myself home,” you quip. 

“After two martinis, I don’t think so, sweetness. I’ll send for your car in the morning,” he insists. 

“Send for my car? What are you, the Pope?” 

“Only the one time if you remember correctly,” he jokes, offering his hand to help you stand from your chair. You take it begrudgingly, grabbing your purse and smoothing out your dress. 

“Stunning as usual, love. You know I love that silhouette on you,” he says, ushering the two of you out the door and into the parking lot. He drives a different car now, which is probably why you didn't recognize it in the lot when you arrived. 

“It wasn’t for you,” you gripe. 

“But it was for him? Mister can’t even split the check?” he counters. 

“Again, he may not be made of money, but he at least listened the few times I was able to get a word in,” you snap. 

Josh sucks his teeth as he opens the passenger door, helping you climb inside. It’s spacious and smells of new leather. A string of beads hangs from the rearview mirror and a tiny crystal lays haphazardly in the center console. He joins you seconds later, starting the car and backing out of the parking space. 

“Where are you taking me?” you question, although you’re fairly certain you know the answer. 

“Home,” he snickers, taking a right out of the parking lot. 

“You don’t know where I live, I moved,” you say, shifting your body in the seat. 

“No, no. I said, I am taking you home.”

“What if I don’t want to go?” you ask, fully lying to yourself and to him and he knows it. 

“I did always like it when you played hard to get,” he smiles, moving his hand to rest on your bare leg. “But your body gives you away everytime.”

“Where’d you find him?” he asks, letting his eyes flick over to yours for just a second. 

“Cambry,” you answer, a twinge of defeat in your voice. 

“Cambry? Come on, baby, you know she has the worst taste in men,” he groans, merging onto the freeway with ease. 

“I didn’t really have a choice, and she oversold him, clearly,” you answer. 

“So you’re still at Sony, then?”

“I am, though I’ve been considering a career change, maybe even a city change,” you lie.

“Had enough of Nashville?” he jests.

“The people that reside here,” you taunt. 

“Fair enough,” he concedes. 

His fingers trace circles into your skin, lighting little fires with every pass. “You stopped answering my calls,” he trails off. 

“That is typical of a break up Josh…”

“Baby–”

“Don’t call me that,” you snap. 

“What can I call you?” he asks. 

“Nothing, you can take me home and send my car in the morning,” you answer. 

His grip on your leg tightens, his thumb passing over your knee. You feel warm beneath his touch, a calmness washing over you. This is always how he got you. 

“It was one fight, Y/N! I know I fucked up, but–” he shouts, losing his calm and cool composure for a millisecond. 

“Josh…” you whine, not wanting to hash this out again.

As you pull up to a red light he turns to look at you, moving his hand from your leg and grabbing your hand instead. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. Just– come over for a little bit. Let’s talk. Catch up a little. Don’t let your night be a complete loss, you look too pretty. Let me appreciate you,” he says, squeezing your hand. 

Your eyes meet his, sparkling and encased by his thick lashes. “Okay,” you murmur. 

“Yeah?”

You roll your eyes and nod your head, “Yes, fine. Just to catch up.”

The light changes and you swear he did twenty over the speed limit the rest of the way to his house. He has a smirk on his lips that he can’t seem to shake, and his hand hasn't left yours.

“Why were you at the bar alone?” you ask, the gin making you feel a little more brave than usual. 

“I like the food, and they make my drink the right way. You know I don’t like going into the city, too many people, and the guys were all busy tonight. I think I was right where I needed to be though. Got you out of that shitty date,” he laughs. 

“It was pretty shitty,” you agree, flashing him a smile. 

“Missed that,” he says, turning into his driveway. “That smile. Lights up a room.”

“Stop,” you say, playfully pushing his shoulder. “Don’t suck up now after you were all bossy and demanding at the restaurant.”

“Worked though,” he grins, shrugging his shoulders and shutting off the car. 

“Did it?”

“You’re here…” he says, tipping his chin. 

“To talk. To catch up,” you counter. 

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you,” he says, helping you out of the car and shutting the door behind you. He guides you up to the front door with his hand on the small of your back, shoving his key into the lock and opening the door. 

You’re instantly transported back in time. A time when this was your safe place, when this was your landing pad of comfort. A home you shared together. Warm and welcoming. Until, it wasn’t. It was a big empty house with nothing but the echo of your own voice for months on end. The place you would listen to your calls ring out with no answer and texts would sit on delivered for days. 

It was hard to leave him, your personal ray of light. The good times were the greatest, and the bad times were worse than the worst. You met your breaking point and all you could think of was starting over. Living a normal life with a normal job and a normal relationship. 

You’d grown a little since that day, finding yourself and establishing your own roots in the city. You cut off contact completely. Josh never gave up though. He was persistent, you’d give him that. He tried to reconcile things, promised to fix it, promised to do better, but after so many failed attempts, you couldn’t do it anymore. You needed to see this through, for yourself. 

It took almost a year but he did stop calling. Stopped checking in. Your heart ached for him. You wondered if you’d made a mistake. You knew you never really stopped loving him. How could you stop loving someone like him? He took your heart and cast it in gold, giving a piece of himself to you to carry when he was away, but still it wasn’t enough. You needed more than he could give you then. 

“You redecorated,” you ponder. 

“A bit. Just some new furniture, art and things I picked up on the road,” he says, tossing his keys on the table. “You like it?”

You nod your head, “Yeah, I do. It feels very… you.” you pause, “It feels warm.”

He walks into the kitchen, pulling two lowball glasses from the cabinet before reaching for the tequila on top of the fridge. He holds the bottle up towards you in question and you nod your head, knowing you aren’t leaving tonight. 

He pours the tequila into the glasses, topping them with sparkling water and a handful of ice as you walk over to join him. He slides the glass to you and holds his up to tap against yours. 

“Glad you’re here, baby,” he breathes. 

“Josh…”

“Sorry, old habit,” he blushes, taking a sip of his drink. 

You join him, taking a long pull from the glass letting the bubbles slip down your throat. He made it perfect, just how you like it. 

“Shall we?” he asks, pushing off the counter top and making his way into the living room. You follow behind him taking the seat next to him on the couch. You settle into the leather cushions as he shoots up again. 

“Wait, hold on,” he says, walking across the room. He struts across the wood floors carrying himself in a way much different than you have ever seen him. He looks confident and seems to be floating. He grabs a small remote and turns down the lights, casting the room in a much dimmer light. 

“Do you always walk around like that?” you ask, sipping from the rim of your glass. 

“Like what?” he asks, returning to his place next to you. 

“Like…like you’re made of gold,” you giggle, letting the tequila warm your blood. 

“What if I am?” he challenges. 

“What, made of gold?” 

“Mhmm,” he hums. 

“Kinda seems like it sometimes,” you confess. 

“Yeah?”

“You kinda glow,” you answer. 

“Optical illusion, sweets,” he grins.

“I don’t know, you’ve always kinda been that way. Glowy…” you offer, feeling a little hazy. 

“You flirting with me now?” he asks, his lips turning up into a grin. 

“No,” you growl, “Can I not give you a compliment?”

“Absolutely. Please do continue, I’m quite enjoying it,” he laughs, throwing his arm across the back of the couch. His fingertips brush your shoulder and you shudder at the contact. 

“Has it been that long, darling?”

“What?” you question, turning to meet his eyes. His fingers graze against your skin again, goosebumps rising to the surface. 

“Oh, say it isn’t so, baby. Break my heart,” he whines. 

“What, Josh?”

“You’re touch starved aren’t you sweetness,” he says, his eyes searching yours. 

“No, I’m fine,” you lie. You look away, knowing he was always able to read you like a book. 

“Look at me, Y/N,” he snaps. You turn your head and meet his eyes again. “Don’t lie to me again. You know that never went well for you.”

You bite your lips together as your cheeks grow red hot. Part of you wants to push him a little more, force him to make good on his threat. The other part of you knows you should leave before he sucks you in. 

“Tell me how long,” he says, resting his hand on the curve of your neck. 

You blow out a breath and shake your head, “It’s not important,” you answer. 

“Is to me, always important to me,” he urges. 

“Why do you want to know?”

“I want to know that you were being taken care of,” he pauses, “I don’t think that’s a crime.”

“It’s been… a minute,” you confess. 

“Baby,” he breathes. 

“It’s fine, Josh. Really.”

“It’s not,” he snaps. “How long, love? You can tell me. It’s just me.”

“God! Since we split! Okay?! Is that what you want to hear?! That I haven’t fucked anyone since you?!” you shout, burying your head in your hands. You feel his hand rest on your back, warm and firm. 

“Oh, my love. No wonder you’re so feisty. Wound up tighter than a two dollar watch. My girl needs a little relief, doesn’t she,” he asks. 

You turn your head in your hands to look at him, his face serious and dripping with lust. You push yourself up off of the couch, pacing around the living room. 

“I don’t want your pity, Josh.”

“It’s not pity darling, you’d know if it was,” he retorts. 

“Well whatever it is, I don’t want it,” you snap. 

He blows out a deep breath and clears his throat, “I’ve had just about enough of your mouth tonight,” he growls. “Why don’t you come back over here and try again, yeah?”

You stare at him from across the room, arms crossed over your chest in an effort to conceal your nipples that have grown hard just from the demanding quality of his voice. 

“You can drop the act, I know you want me just as bad as I want you. If you want me to beg, crawl on my hands and knees for you, you know I’ll do it, but I think your body is begging for me harder than I ever could.”

You roll your eyes, and look away. 

“Am I wrong? Tell me I’m wrong.”

You huff out a breath, “No,” you whisper. 

“What’s that?”

“I said no,” you answer. 

A smirk pulls across his lips, “No, what?”

You feel your chest grow warm and you swallow thickly, “No, sir.”

He clicks his tongue, “Don’t call me sir, that's my brother. Try again, love.”

“No, baby,” you breathe. 

“That’s better. Much better. Come back over here,” he says, motioning you over with two fingers. 

He reaches for your hand as you approach him, pulling you down onto his lap. Your legs fall to either side of his hips as you straddle him, the position feeling familiar and comforting. 

“There’s my girl,” he growls, leaning forward to place his drink on the coffee table. His hands move to grip at your hips, holding you in place as he sinks a little further beneath you. It would be a lie if you said you weren’t enjoying this, feeling his hands on you and the evidence of his want as it grew beneath you. 

“Not yours, Josh,” you say, letting your hands land on his chest. 

“Liar,” he breathes, rolling his hips into you, eliciting a whine from your chest. You hear him laugh, “Your body says otherwise.”

“My body has never been able to say no to you,” you admit. 

“And that's what I love about it, baby. Mine even when you aren’t.”

A sigh falls from your lips as his thumb drags over your lips, “Kiss me, Josh,” you beg.

A grin pulls across his lips as he pulls you by the back of your neck towards him. His soft, warm lips brush yours just slightly, enough to pull a whine from your chest. 

“Now who’s begging?” he murmurs. Your eyes meet his, dark and lust filled before he crashes his lips to yours. His hands grip at your head as if he’s afraid you might fly away, his fingers twisting into your hair.

His tongue slides against yours, the taste of him so sweet and familiar. There would never be anyone that tasted better, you were sure of it. His hands slid down your face and over your shoulders, reaching for your hands as they sat on his chest. He wrapped his hands around yours, linking his fingers with yours the best he could, just holding you in a way you’ve desperately missed over the last year without him. 

“Josh…” you breathe. 

His lips break away from yours, his cheeks pink and his lips glossy, “Yeah, baby?”

You hesitate asking your question, momentarily debating whether you truly want to know or not, but you know if this night is going to continue, you have to know. 

“How long…” you pause, “How long for you?” It comes out breathless, his warm hands in yours as his lips hover over yours. 

He pulls back a touch, licking his lips and swallowing harshly, “A month or two,” he answers honestly. 

Your traitorous eyes fill with tears and you do your best to blink them away. You drop your head in an effort to conceal your emotions, knowing this is all entirely your fault to begin with. His hand releases yours and grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. 

“They were never you. Not a single one of them could ever be you.”

You nod your head and swallow the lump in your throat, “Then why?”

“It’s been a year, baby. I never thought I’d have you again,” he confesses. 

“But you want me?” you ask, just wanting to hear him say it. 

“Is that not clear? Of course I want you. I never stopped wanting you. You stopped wanting me.”

You shake your head, “I didn’t. I swear I didn’t, I just– It was too hard, I couldn’t do it anymore. It hurt too much.”

He grabs your face in his hands again, holding eye contact with you. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I know I messed up. I’ve thought of it every single day since you left. I’m so sorry.”

You can see it in his eyes that he means it this time. The urgency in his voice and the trembling of his hands against your face prove it. You decide at that moment to cast the memories of the past to the wind and fall headfirst into him, the way you’ve dreamt of for months. 

You press your lips to his, smiling, “Tequila always did make you all mushy, baby.”

A smile pulls across his lips as he stands from the couch, wrapping his arms around your thighs as he makes his way to the stairs. His lips connect to your jaw, peppering kisses up and down your neck with every step he takes. 

It’s seconds before you’re tossed onto the bed. The bed you’ve missed so terribly. The bed that smells of him and his linen sheets. You melt into the comforter, your body relaxing almost immediately. Your eyes close and all you can hear is the shedding of clothes across the room, and the tinkling of beads as Josh places his necklace on the dresser. 

You feel his hand as it comes to rest on your foot, sliding up the length of your body and stopping just as it reaches the hem of your dress. You sit up on your elbows to look at him, standing at the end of the bed in his boxers. 

His gaze is fixed upon you, devouring your every inch.

“Joshy?” you breathe. 

He drops his head for a second before looking back at you, “God I haven’t heard that in so long,” he whines. “What sweetness?”

“Come lay down with me,” you ask. 

He licks his lips and crawls onto the bed, laying down next to you and resting his hand on your hip. “Hi beautiful.”

“Hi baby,” you whisper, rolling towards him. You lay your head on his shoulder, listening to his heart as it pounds erratically in his chest. 

“I missed this bed,” you whisper against his skin. 

“I missed you in this bed,” he pauses, “Terribly lonely without you.”

“Not too lonely it sounds like,” you tease, sitting up and stepping off of the bed.  

“Baby, I–”

“I’m kidding, Josh. I don’t mind. Well, not completely anyway.”

You pull the zipper on the back of your dress, letting it fall to the floor and instinctively kicking it to the chair at the side of the bed like you'd done a thousand times before. 

“So you care a little?” he smirks, taking in the sight of your matching lingerie. “Jesus, was that for him?”

“If all went well,” you answer cheekily, crawling back onto the bed. 

“Over my dead body,” he growls, grabbing your arm and pulling you to lay on top of him. 

“It was for me. I needed a little confidence boost.”

“Baby, what? Why? You were always so confident and cool,” he asks, furrowing his brow. 

“Not lately… A few failed dates will do that to you I guess,” you admit. 

“No, no no no no. Don’t let a few pricks dull your glow, sweetness. You’re everything. They’d be lucky to have you.”

You push up off of him, crawling backwards down the bed as you place a few errant kisses across his stomach. Your eyes never leave his as you stop above his waistband, sliding your nails against the elastic. 

“What if I never wanted them,” you ask. 

He sucks in a breath as your finger dips beneath the band, slightly tugging at the fabric. 

“What do you want?” he asks, his eyes searching yours. 

You pull his boxers over his hips watching his cock spring free to slap against his groin. You take him in your hand, watching as his face twists up in pleasure. 

“Tell me,” he growls through gritted teeth. 

Instead of answering him you let your tongue lick a hot stripe from his base to his tip, tasting the bitter sweetness of his precum on your tongue. His core tightens as you take him into your mouth, swirling your tongue against his length, feeling every vein and the rapid pulse pounding through him. 

His hand finds the side of your face, tucking your hair behind your ear as he watches you take him down so easily, remembering exactly how he likes it. You grip his base as you work him, hollowing your cheeks as you eyes meet his. His lips are parted, a heavy breath leaving his chest as his grip on your hair tightens. You take him farther, swallowing around his tip as he nudges the back of your throat, sending him spiraling in his own bliss. 

“Fuck, baby, please…” he begs. 

You pop off of him, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his length. “Please what?”

“Please let me fuck you,” he asnwers, panting as he desperately awaits your mouths return to him. 

“I’m kind of enjoying myself here,” you tease, taking him into your throat again. 

“Fucking hell, you’re so goddamn sexy. I fucking– I–” he stammers, groaning as you swallow around him again. 

“You think of this, baby? You miss sucking my cock? My good fucking girl,” he asks, jerking his hips up off of the bed. “You think of me like I think of you?”

You groan as your tongue swirls at his tip, letting your eyes meet his. 

“Answer me,” he demands. 

You pull off of him quickly, a spit covered mess, “Yes, yes baby,” you whine. 

“Missed your mouth, your perfect fucking mouth. Your lips, your tongue, everything,” he growls, a moan leaving his chest as you suction your mouth around him. “Pull off baby, not yet. Not ready yet.”

You do as you're told, pulling off of him and wiping your lips on the back of your hand. He grabs your chin and pulls you toward him, his wet cock laying against your panties. His lips meet yours, swollen and pink and still glistening with your spit. He’s desperate to taste you, to devour you completely. You feel his hands slide over your waist and up to your bra, unclasping the hooks and pulling the straps from your arms. He pulls it from between you in one move, before turning you to your back to take in the sight of you. 

His eyes practically bulge from his head as he looks at you. “You– You pierced your nipples? When did you? Wha– Fucking Christ.”

A smile spreads across your face. It's not very often you can catch Josh off guard like this, so you’re taking this small victory. 

“About seven months ago, on a whim,” you answer. 

“Anything else I should know about before I have a stroke?” he laughs. 

“Why don’t you just find out?” you say playfully, just wanting to see his reaction. 

He pulls the elastic of your panties over your hips, tossing the lacy garment to the floor. His tongue darts out over his lips as he looks at you, as if deciding where he wants to start. Though, you knew Josh, and he would forever be a victim to his own fascination with shiny objects. 

His lips wrap around your nipple, his tongue gently flicking over the golden barbell. You lace your fingers into his curls, scratching at his roots as his teeth graze the sensitive bud in his mouth. 

“Josh,” you whine, arching your back beneath him. 

“Mhmm,” he whines, not letting his lips detach from you. 

“Missed your touch,” you answer. 

He pulls off of your right breast and kisses his way to your left, treating your left nipple with the same reverence as the previous. You grab his hand and pull his fingers to your lips, sucking his first two digits into your mouth and letting your tongue twist against them. 

You hear him groan against you, the sensation becoming a little too overwhelming for him. 

“You okay, baby?”

He pulls off of you, still staring down at the shiny gold bars adorning your nipples. 

“No, fuck no, I’m never gonna stop thinking about these,” he says through a pant. 

A laugh bubbles up from your chest as his hand meets your chest, sliding down your stomach and stopping at your hip. 

“You gonna let me in, sweetness?” he asks, biting at his bottom lip. 

A smirk pulls at your lips as you look at him, nodding gently. His hand slides down further, his fingers dusting across your folds. Your body quivers at his gentle touch, a small grin of satisfaction on his lips. 

“You want it?”

“Stop teasing, Josh,” you whine. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I know you need it. I’ll give you what you want. You know that, right?”

You nod furiously, just wanting him to touch you. Needing it more than anything. “Yes, yes, I know. Please…”

He bends forward and presses a kiss to your stomach, two fingers sinking into your wetness. You jerk towards him as his fingertips press to your clit, a whine escaping your lips before you can stop it. He hums as his fingers start to circle through your wetness, his lip bitten firmly between his teeth. His eyes are dark as they stare into yours, watching your every move and memorizing every expression.

“You feel so good, baby. Missed this so bad,” he breathes, teasing your entrance. 

“You could have had anyone,” you whisper. 

“I didn’t want anyone. Just you.”

His fingers dip into you, finding the place they once knew so well. Your hand moves to rest on his bicep, stronger now than they once were, the muscle rounded and defined. In fact, all of him is that way. Lean and fit, stronger and more chiseled. The thought alone makes you clench around his fingers. 

“Yeah?” 

“You feel so– so different. Stronger,” you say. 

“Needed something to fill the time,” he smiles, curling his fingers inside of you. You cry out in bliss as your stomach starts to tighten. 

“So good, baby,” you cry. 

“Yeah, you gonna come for me? You gonna come right on my fingers, so needy and sweet,” he urges. His fingers are moving rapidly, working you toward your release better than you could have imagined. 

“Ease into it, baby. Don’t rush it. I’m right here, not going anywhere. I’m yours,” he says, his voice soft and comforting. 

Your eyes meet his, desperate and lust filled, “Mine?” 

He nods his head quickly, “Yours,” he pauses, “If you want, I just– I’m here, okay? Take your time, feel it. Breathe it in, savor it. I’m here.”

“I want it,” you plead.

“Have it, have me,” he breathes. 

His fingers move at a relentless pace, fingertips massaging into you with such precision it’s like a year never passed. Your chest grows hot and your stomach tightens as his eyes meet yours, both of you knowing you’re on the edge of release. 

“Do it. Take it baby,” he growls. 

“Josh,” you whine, reaching for his hand and twisting your fingers with his. His grip is tight on you, grounding you the way you need him to. 

With another flick of his thumb across your clit, you’re sent spiraling into your release. You’d never been able to replicate the way it feels when it's by his hand, and you were sure no other man could. His hand slows as your eyes open, finding his full of desire as they stare back at you. 

He grins as he presses a kiss to your mound, slowly pulling his fingers from inside you. Your body is shaking with adrenaline, the want for him coursing through you like never before. You need him. You need him now.

“Josh, now,” you pant, your chest still heaving as you catch your breath. 

He doesn’t hesitate. There are no witty remarks, no jokes, no playful banter at all. Just the need the two of you share for each other taking center stage. He pushes up and crawls up towards you, falling into the space between your legs. He pushes them further apart with his knees, fisting at his base as he stares at you. You swear you can see his heart pounding in his chest, and you know he needs this as badly as you do. 

He lowers himself down to you, brushing his tip through your folds. Your hands come up to his face, cradling his cheeks as you press your lips to his. It's different this time, a little less desperate, more intentional. He lets himself slowly sink inside of you as his lips dance with yours, filling you so fully and so completely, the way he always had. 

He bottoms out inside of you, sliding his arm beneath your hips to pull you in close. His eyes meet yours in question and you nod, letting him know you need more. He begins to slowly move his hips, rolling into you at a fairly gentle pace, soaking in every inch of you and savoring every sound that falls from your lips. 

Your hands wrap around his waist, pulling him in tighter, desperate for all of him. He groans as your chest presses against his, the coolness of the metal bars against his warm, dewy skin pulling a groan from his chest. 

“Baby,” he whines, snapping his hips into you a little harder. 

“Josh,” you answer, more of a moan. 

“I need this,” he says, moving his hand to cradle your jaw. “I need you.”

“I know, baby,” you cry out, “I know. I need you, too. I fucking need you.”

He groans as he drops his head, letting his lips connect with your neck. His hot tongue slides against your skin before he sucks the skin into a fresh pink bite. His pace quickens, his skin slick with sweat as he pounds into you. 

“Tell me that you think someone could fuck you better than this,” he growls. 

“Fuck, no. No one. No one but you, Josh. I only want you,” you answer, gripping your fingers into his ass. 

His demeanor changes, he’s grown animalistic, grunts and groans falling from his lips as he nears the peak of his release. 

“Tell me that you don’t love me anymore,” he demands.

“Josh, I–”

“Say it,” he barks. 

“I do! I do love you! You know I still fucking love you!” you cry, feeling the coil tighten in your groin. 

A cry falls from his chest, echoing around the room as his lips crash to yours. It's rough and desperate, and you know you just told him everything he’s been waiting to hear. 

“I fucking love you, Y/N,” he pants, “Don’t you ever fucking leave me again.”

You nod your head desperately, needing to feel his lips on yours again. His strokes start to quicken, hitting you long and deep as you both teeter on the edge of your orgasm. The wet sounds dancing through the air are deafening, and the heat of his breath on your face has you dizzy. 

“Josh, baby,” you whine, knowing you won't last much longer. 

“Yeah? Yeah you gonna come again? Bloom like a pretty flower just for me?” he urges, knowing the sound of his voice will push you over the edge. He nods his head, and bites his bottom lip as he watches you, squirming and panting beneath him as his cock hits you right where it belongs. 

“Come on sweetness, be my pretty flower, come for me,” he whispers against your lips. 

His hand cups at your breast as his fingers brush your piercing, letting his thumb and forefinger pinch at your nipple. The sensation is enough to bring you to the brink, letting you dive headfirst into your release. You cry out beneath him, his name falling from your lips in succession. 

“Just like that, my love. I’m here, I’ve got you,” he says, pulling you closer to him as his hips continue to work you through it. “I’m there sweetheart, tell me where.”

“You know where, I’m yours,” you plead. 

He snaps his hips into you again, holding you in place as he spills inside of you, the most beautiful noises falling from his lips. He comes down, loosening his grip on your hips as he falls slack on top of you. Your arms wrap around him, your hand drifting up into his sweaty curls as he catches his breath. 

“I mean it,” he breathes, “I do love you.” He props his head up on your chest, letting his eyes meet yours. 

“You know I love you, Josh.”

He cranes his neck forward and kisses you again, and you can almost feel the smile on his lips. “Does this mean you’ll come home? Let me love you again?”

“Is that you asking me?” you tease. 

“I’ll call the movers right now,” he taunts. 

“You forgive me for leaving you in the first place?” you ask, a hint of nervousness in your voice. 

“I deserved it. I know what I lost.”

“I keep my apartment,” you counter. 

“But you’ll be with me when I’m here?” he asks with questioning eyes. 

“If that’s what you want,” you answer. 

“No more dates with assholes who don’t deserve you?” he smirks. 

“No more dates, just you,” you nod. 

“I’ll do it right this time, give you everything. I promise.”

His lips press to yours, soft and sweet and barely there, sealing his promise and setting your heart aflame. He rolls off of you, laying next to you as close as he can get.

“You said I’m your flower,” you pause, “What kind?”

He pulls you into his side, hitching your leg up over his waist. “Hmm, a poppy perhaps? A bright red one, maybe orange.”

You giggle at the fact he has picked such an outlandish flower. “Why’s that?”

He turns his head to look at you and raises his eyebrow playfully, “The seeds are an opiate and can provide intense pleasure to the consumer, and you, my sweets, are certainly a drug to me.”

You roll your eyes and shove at his chest, feeling him pull you in tighter. He kisses your head and lets out a sigh. 

“What about me, am I a flower, darling?”

“Of course you are,” you pause, looking at him. “Too easy, you’re Goldenrod.”

“Isn’t that a weed?” he laughs, running his fingertips against your bare thigh. 

“Technically, but it’s beautiful. It’s wild and free and vibrant. Thrives in the warm sunshine and sways in the breeze. They’re made of gold, just like you,” you smile, flashing him a wink. 

“Although, it is poisonous,” you add. 

He rolls to face you completely, cupping your face in his hand as he smiles, “You know what they say…”

“What’s that,” you question. 

“The worst poison always tastes the sweetest.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Taglist: @britney-gvf @gretavanmoon @sacredstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @writingcold @builtbybrokenbells @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @fleet-of-fiction @milkgemini @gvfpal @ageofcj @dancingcarbon @highway-tuna @stardustjake @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfmarge @gracev0609 @myleftsock @literal-dead-leaf @peaceloveunitygvf @ageofbajabule @slut4lando @jordie-gvf @sadiechar @tinydancer40 @rosabellagvf @capnjaket @lyndz2names @thetroublegetssoloud71 @gretavanomens @spark-my-nature @josh-iamyour-mama @anythingforjtk @alwaysonthemend @danieljlmwagner @klarxtr @fortunatelytinybasement @demonrat444 @gretavansara @watchingover-hypegirl @hippievanfleet @digitalnomadz @raviolilegs @lipstickitty @hippievanfleet @klarxtr @strange-whorizons @do-it-jakey-baby @myownparadise96 @gvf-luna @starshine-wagner @cassiesgreta

[hailthegodsong]

this has ruined my day

[asacredthebread]

After Work Affections •☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Danny Wagner x Reader - 18+ 𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝙳𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚢, 𝚒𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍. Warnings/Themes: Thigh Riding, Praise, Sexual Themes. WC; 769

You walked through the front door, the familiar scent of home wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. The day had been long, and the thought of being with Danny—the man with the long, brown curly hair and warm brown eyes—was all that had kept you going. He was sitting on the couch, casually relaxed, a warm smile spreading across his face as he looked up at you.

“Hey there, you,” he greeted, his voice honeyed and inviting. You felt your heart lift at the sight of him. He always had that effect on you, making the weight of the day melt away with just a smile.

“Hi, Danny,” you replied, your voice softer than usual. You could feel the tension in your body slowly dissipating, but something else stirred within you—a growing need that you hadn’t fully acknowledged until now.

“How was your day?” he asked, leaning back slightly, his gaze locking onto yours with that familiar intensity. You could see the way his interest piqued, those brown eyes sparking with curiosity and warmth.

“It was okay,” you said, trying to shake off the remnants of the day. But as he continued to speak about his own day, detailing the little things that made him smile, you felt that need deepen. Each word he uttered seemed to resonate inside of you, stirring something more primal.

You moved closer, the space between you feeling both comforting and charged. It was like a magnet pulling you in. You were drawn to him, to that easy confidence he exuded, the warmth radiating from his body. Without fully thinking it through, you decided to sit on his lap, straddling him as you felt the weight of his presence envelop you.

He looked surprised for just a moment, his eyebrows lifting in delight. “Well, look at you, all cozy,” he said, his voice playful and rich with affection. You shifted slightly, feeling the warmth of his thigh beneath you, the heat between your bodies igniting a spark of need that surged through you.

“Danny…” you breathed, looking into his eyes. You could see the spark of desire flickering there, and it fueled the fire within you. You began to rock your hips against him, seeking that elusive release, your body craving more.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he praised, his hands coming to rest on your waist, fingers tightening slightly as he encouraged your movements. “You know exactly what you want, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you whispered. You felt both vulnerable and empowered, each movement drawing you closer to the edge you craved. His praise washed over you, coaxing you further into bliss.

“Just like that,” he murmured, his voice low and husky. “You ride that thigh, baby. You feel incredible.” His words wrapped around you, spurring on your rhythm as you found your groove, lost in the dance of pleasure. With every thrust, you could see the way his eyes darkened with desire, the way he leaned toward you as if he could take in every bit of you.

“You make me feel so good,” you confessed, breathless.

He responded with an appreciative chuckle, “And you make me feel even better. There’s nothing like seeing you like this, all worked up, just for me.” His hold on you tightened, and something about his unwavering gaze made you feel utterly seen. It was as if he could feel the urgency radiating from you, matching it with his own need.

“Just keep going,” Danny encouraged, his voice a sultry whisper. “You’re doing amazing. I love watching you let go like this.”

With every word of affirmation, every ounce of encouragement, you felt yourself teeter closer to the edge. Danny had a way of making you feel not just desired but cherished—each moment shared felt like a sacred space between the two of you.

As you moved faster, riding his thigh, you felt the tension coiling within you, ready to snap. “Danny, I’m so close,” you gasped, and his response was immediate.

“Just a little more, baby,” he urged, his voice full of warmth and reverence.

With one final push, everything inside you released, a wave of pleasure rolling through you that left you breathless. You could feel Danny’s steady chuckle vibrating through his chest, the way he leaned in closer, holding you tightly as you came down from the high.

“You did so well,” he praised, his voice tender as you collapsed against him, the warmth of his body enveloping you. “There’s a good girl.” You melted against him, the weight of the day replaced by the gentle warmth of contentment and love in that intimate moment.

[ageofbajabule]

y’all my friend next to me captured this.

look at his little booty jiggle👀❤️

AC N1 WAS AMAZING❤️

[via-fm]

take them ridiculous shades OFF

[sirjaketkiszka]

Silver Springs Masterpost

Early20s!Jake Kiszka x Fem!Reader

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

I know I could have loved you but you would not let me…

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Being best friends with Josh, you figured you’d get along well with his twin… You were wrong. Jake Kiszka is arrogant, cocky, and all things irritating.

With the semester being over, you spend your summer with the band before they leave town to chase their dreams. If only you knew what that would entail;

Jealousy, secrecy, and heartbreak…

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Word count: 22,502

Warnings: 18+!!, jealousy, lying, cursing, arguing, eventual smut, underage drinking, and mediocre writing.

(each chapter will have its own list of warnings as well.)

Disclaimer: in no way does this storyline follow real life events pertaining to personal lives, tour schedules, release dates, etc.

Playlist inspired by Silver Springs.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Chapter List:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five (coming soon…)

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Tags:

[moonlightisdancing]

Trees/j.m.k

Pairing: au!Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ therapy session discussing trauma, mentions (does no go in detail) ideations, running away, dissociation, kissing, mark leaving, humping, unprotected sex, overstimulation

as always, please lmk if any tags are missed!

——————🧡——————

The first installment of Gretaween 2024 is here! Over the course of 8 days there will be works from other amazing creators added here!

——————🧡——————

Please proceed with caution. This fic might be a lot for anyone struggling with suicidal ideations, those who struggle with dissociative thoughts, and even those who have experienced trauma at any point. There are no themes of SA implied or mentioned in this work, but themes of death, grief and the inability to grasp those concepts are.

——————🧡——————

The cold weather couldn’t keep you from the woods. No amount of crunchy leaves stacked on the old mossy ground or mud puddles too big to walk around. Nothing. Nested deep in the woods resides a little cabin that you’d stumbled upon one day after school. It was a therapy day, you remember because you wore blue. Blue was for therapy days because therapy makes you sad, and blue is a sad color.

Fact, not opinion.

The little cabin in the woods made the blue days feel not so blue when the orange boy appeared.

When you first met, his hair was getting quite long, the loose waves bouncing around just under his ears. His hair wasn’t like that for long, he’d eventually get it cut, a neat mop of curls resting over his forehead. His voice got deeper, muscles got stronger, hair got curlier, but he still remained orange. Not physically, more so in the way he spoke and gestured. While not typically complimentary, he was the orange your blue needed, and you paired quite nicely.

In fact, the two of you paired so well that you never once bothered asking one another why they were in the woods that day. It felt right. Like all of the blue days led you here. The cabin is brown, physically, but feels yellow. Happy, warm, inviting. Outside the cabin is one giant tree, the tree you’d met Josh under. He was quiet at first, his breath being the only thing to give him away. Quiet didn’t last long, though. He’d grow to talk your ear off every chance he got, and you welcomed his words with open arms.

You hadn’t seen Josh in exactly one week. Something about needing to prepare something for you, a surprise if you will, and to meet him under the tree where you met him in seven days. So you waited impatiently for the longest, bluest seven days to pass without your complimentary person. It was surprising how unprescribed blue days could feel particularly blue. Blue was meant for therapy days. Dismal, a buzzing in your ears surrounding the thought of those grey walls, scratchy carpet and the chair that squeaks every time Dr. Tannis shifts his weight. That’s what blue was meant for, so you tried to fill the days with shades of orange and yellow that reminded you of Josh.

When the seven days were up, you found yourself barreling through the house after school, just to be stopped in your tracks by Mom.

“Honey, please don’t forget you said you’d take your sister trick-or-treating tonight.” Mom sighs as she releases her hold on your shoulders.

“But-”

“No ‘buts,’ Y/n.”

“But I have to go see Josh.” Your eyes widen at the name. You know better.

“Y/n…” Mom closes her eyes and tilts her head back. She was red, metaphorically. The heat and anger couldn’t be seen but it could be felt, and it was burning red.

“I’m sorry,” You sulk, your head falling between your shoulders.

“Please go get ready and make sure your sister is, too.” She tries forcing a smile across her lips, but the forced yellow couldn’t deceive red.

For the third consecutive year, you chose to be a vampire. The costumes were getting better, why choose a different thing when you could continue improving? You lean into the mirror, fanning your teeth to try and help the fangs stick. Your attention is directed elsewhere as you overhear Mom on the phone in the kitchen. Your eyes flutter shut as you hone in on her words, laced with blue-grey.

“She’s mentioning Josh again. I thought that had been discussed during her sessions.”

You don’t mean to listen, but if it weren’t meant to be heard, maybe she’d stop using speaker phone.

“It has been touched on, yes, but-”

“She is well past the age of imaginary friends, Dr. Tannis. Her entire life cannot evolve around the existence of someone who just… doesn’t exist.”

Doesn’t exist?

“Y/n, I think we need to backtrack just a little.” Dr. Tannis sighed as he sat down. He seemed to be paying more attention to the squeak, but the noise still left faint blue raspberry on your tongue.

“Well, Doc, I am an open book!” You leaned back in the chair as you popped a grape Jolly Rancher in your mouth.

“That is sort of the issue, Y/n. You’re not open about anything. We need to start working through what happened.” He clicked his pen before bringing his elbow to the desk and hand to his temple.

“I don’t remember. It’s like one day I was just riding my bike in the woods and everything turned black…”

“Is that physical or metaphorical?” Dr. Tannis raised an eyebrow. He might not understand the colors, but at least he tried.

“Physical black. And then the hospital and then I met you.”

“Do you blame yourself?” He looked up from his notepad, leaned back in the chair and crossed his legs.

“What?” Your heart began racing, on the brink of a panic attack. “B-blame myself for what?”

Were you supposed to blame yourself?

“The accident, Y/n. It’s common for a patient to blame themselves, especially if there’s no other explanation.”

“Uh- sometimes? I don’t know.” You squeezed your eyes shut trying to recall what happened. When you opened them, Dr. Tannis was scribbling on the notepad again. You caught some of what he jotted down, nonsense upon nonsense of how he thinks you feel.

“Why don’t we just move on? You’ve mentioned your hatred-”

“Distaste.” You corrected. Josh had changed that, you didn’t hate anything.

“Right, sorry, distaste for blue raspberry several times. Where does that come from? Can you remember when that started, Y/n?”

“I think it’s what the darkness tasted like. Kind of… metallic and cold.”

“Is the darkness where you created Josh? Could he be just a thought?”

God. You couldn’t have created Josh had your life depended on it. You’re not convinced a higher being could have either.

“W-created?! I didn’t create Josh! I met Josh! In real life!”

“Your mother’s mentioned never having met Josh. You’ve never attended school with him and you met after the… incident. Why do you think that is?”

“I already said-” Your words became very red, unlike you. You pressed your lips shut and took a deep breath before restarting. “He’s just not ready to meet new people yet.”

“Y/n, I think she’s worried about, well, if he’s real or not.”

“Mom’s crazy, Dr. Tannis. Of course Josh is real.” You swivel in the chair side to side, snapping Legos together as you sucked on another grape Jolly Rancher.

Finally, something where the taste matched the color.

”Does he exist here…” Dr. Tannis waved his arms around the room, “Or here?” He asked, tapping your temple. The chair squeaked as he leaned forward, causing you to wince. That damn squeak always tastes like sheet metal and a hint of wet dirt.

“Here!” You exclaimed, waving your hands around the room. “And if he didn’t, I’d do whatever it took to be wherever he was.”

“Y/n, as we know you’ve struggled in the past with… Ideations, we call them. I need to make sure that’s not the case.” His eyes grew worried as he tried studying you for answers.

“I wouldn’t do that.” You said pointedly. Your death would mean Josh no longer having someone there for him, alongside you not having him. That simply wouldn’t do. A deep sigh escapes your lips before you attempt to divert the conversation.

“I hug him every time I see him. We’ve… done some things… I know he’s real.”

“Done some-” His eyes widened, cheeks growing flush as the admission slipped your lips.

“Just kiss! We’ve only kissed.”

Dr. Tannis wore a furrowed brow and an expression that was almost eager for answers. Almost like he knew you were lying. You couldn’t, wouldn’t, tell him you and Josh had been having sex. That would have only caused more problems. The last thing you needed was more problems.

“And how did that make you feel, Y/n?” Dr. Tannis leaned forward in his chair, pressing his pen to the notepad.

“Purple and white.” You responded confidently. Purple and white, that’s how his lips felt against yours each time. His lips remind you of rose petals, the silky innocence of a flower and sweetness of nectar.

“Words, Y/n. I need… emotions, not colors.”

You hate that Dr. Tannis can’t understand you almost as much as you hate nobody believing Josh is real. You chose silence. There was no way to describe his honey coated, purple-white, rose petal lips in a way other than that. Dr. Tannis wasn’t necessarily accepting of the silence but knew he needed to utilize the rest of the time appropriately.

“Y/n, I think a-”

“Could you not use my name so much? It makes me all blue-grey.”

“Right, sorry.” Dr. Tannis clears his throat. “If he’s real, I think a conversation with Josh about meeting your mother would be good.”

“He is real.”

He’s real.

It’s not that you wanted to hide Josh. If you had it your way, you’d share his orange smile and warm embrace with anyone you knew. But he couldn’t go far. While neither of you disclosed how you ended up under that tree, Josh had opened up enough about his home for you to understand. Black and red. It was angry there, way worse than your blue.

You push yourself away from the mirror, holding back the tears that threaten your lash line.

“Not real.”

Who does she think she is?

Once Mom had learned about Josh, she began taking mental note of when you left and how long you were gone. You couldn’t sleep anyways, so you started sneaking out at night to see Josh at the cabin.

“Screw trick-or-treat.” You mumble to yourself as you grab your backpack, making way to your window. You scan over your room, a sense of blue-red and a tinge of black, washing over you. Semi-content with its look, you climb out of the window.

The ground is wet, mushy under your feet as you stomp through the tall, unkempt grass of the woods. The rain couldn’t keep you from Josh. Nothing could. Not trick-or-treat, not blue days or the squeaky chair, not the feeling of blue-black that washed over at the sight of certain things. No other color mattered when you knew orange would always be on the other side.

The rain turns to mist as you walk under the trees, the full moon peeking through just enough to wash the green in blue, physically. It’s silent outside of your feet squishing the wet ground and your backpack shuffling behind you, stuffed with handfuls of the candy Mom specifically said was for the trick-or-treaters. Josh likes Reese’s and BlowPops, so you saw no harm in bringing him some. Blue raspberry and cherry are his favorite. They were yours, too, but not until you tasted them on his rose petal lips. Blue raspberry reminds you of a memory you’ve never been quite able to recall, maybe that’s why therapy days were blue.

You shake your head at the thought of blue raspberry. Thinking of blue days and the squeaky chair would only ruin the orange. The cabin’s in sight and dimly lit, seemingly occupied. Unable to see him, you know he’s in there. You can feel his existence just beyond the trees.

You stand under the tree, back awkwardly against the thick, damp trunk so as to not crush the Reese’s and BlowPops. You run your hand over the carved initials in the bark, remembering the day you and Josh had placed it there. The first time you ever kissed him. The rain is slowly picking up again and you find yourself almost getting lost in the whispers of the wind against leaves.

Perhaps the wind works with the trees to tell us things, but we don’t hear. Maybe the wind doesn’t want to be heard, but rather it wants to be listened to.

Waiting begins to grow so boring you try to understand. Understand what the trees are saying. Understand what caused your original distaste for blue, both flavor and color. Every time you try to think, you find yourself unable to understand. You can never recall a time before the grey walls, scratchy carpets and squeaky chair. God how you hate that chair. It’s been years and yet he hasn’t gotten a new one.

Wait by the tree.

Wait by the tree.

Wait by the tree.

He’d specifically instructed you to meet him here, under the tree you met him years ago. Notoriously late, he wouldn’t be this late, making you lose hope. You start to deep breathe in attempts to avoid the orange becoming red. One foot slowly found its way in front of the other as you walked away from the lone standing tree into the sea of physical green. Just slow enough to keep waiting.

Waiting… Waiting…

“Wait!” His voice rang through the night time in a shade of yellow only he could embody, not the same as the cabin.

“Josh?” You turn to see him standing under the tree, leaning against the trunk. His chest is heaving as he fights for air.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought I had more time. They wouldn’t let me go.”

His parents. The definition of darkness personified. Every bad color couldn’t make them up. Black and red swirled and married in a nasty mixture was surely the reason he found solace in the cabin.

Even under the night sky he radiates orange. His rose petal, purple-white lips and beautiful brown doe eyes glisten in the moonlight. Breathtaking. Hauntingly beautiful. All of the good colors melted down like crayons to create him.

Josh doesn’t move, instead he stands and waits for your feet to make their way to him. Like a magnet, you’re drawn to him, wrapping yourself in his warmth almost as fast as it had appeared.

“Mm,” You hum into his chest, your fingers grasping the back of his sweater. “Smell so… so good…”

It wasn’t unusual that he smells good, but he does smell different. Like the summer sun beating down on a field of wildflowers, and hints of honeysuckle covered in morning dew. He smells earthy but in a way that’s good. You pull away from his chest and look up at his face.

“Fangs.” He nods and taps his fingernail against the fake tooth that sticks out from your lips.

“They’re kinda silly, aren’t they?” You bring your fingers to your mouth and pop the two fake fangs off of your teeth, discarding them into the front pocket of your hoodie.

“They were cute.” He frowns, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as he guides you a few feet to the cabin. “I missed you, like a lot.”

“You, sir,” You say, pressing your finger into his chest. “You’re the one who asked for seven days.”

“I know, I know. I just needed time to clean this place up. Make it special, ya know?” Josh opens the door to the cabin. It’s clean. For the longest time a thick coating of dust rested on every surface you had yet to touch, the impressions where the two of you would sit being the only clean spot. All of the physical grey is gone. The cabin feels more yellow now than it ever has before.

“Oh! I have something for you, too.” You smile and nod, pulling your backpack off your shoulders. Josh watches with a crooked head, his eyes narrowing. “Hold out your hands.” You instruct as you dig through your bag.

“Is it gonna bite?” He jokes.

“I hope not,” You reply, placing a handful of Reese’s and BlowPops into his large palm.

“Is this your way of telling me you want a kiss?” He teases, twirling a blue raspberry BlowPop between his fingers. You watch as he stuffs the other candy into his pocket before removing the wrapper on the BlowPop and pushing it past his rose petal lips. The only time blue looked and tasted good was when it was on his tongue.

It was no secret you’d thought about him in… that… way a handful of times before ever getting to be with him. Granted more so after the fact, and right now more than ever. The way his fingers felt against your lips earlier and watching his tongue work around the BlowPop did not make it better.

“Josh?” You whisper just loud enough for him to hear as you close the space between your bodies.

“Yes?”

So many things you want, need, to say evade you. So many pandora's boxes that you don’t want to open.

“I just missed you. Seven blue days was too long.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I missed you too, mamas.”

You wrap your arms around his torso once again, melting into his existence. You wish you could physically melt into him so you never had to be apart. Time away from him was always blue-black. You didn’t have to tell him that for him to know, he always knows what you’re thinking.

“I thought you were going trick-or-treating today.” Josh brings a hand up to cradle the back of your head, his fingers massaging your scalp. His voice echoes through his chest, deep and strong.

“S’posed to,” You mumble.

“Well, what happened? Talk to me.”

Mom doesn’t think you’re real.

Dr. Tannis doesn’t think you’re real.

Nobody thinks you're real so I ran away.

“I, uh, I guess I just missed you too much.”

“You know I can tell when you’re fibbing, right?” He pulls away, looking into your face as he tries reading you. He brings a hand to cradle your face, his thumb smoothing across your cheek. “It’s your favorite holiday.”

“I hate when you do that.” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest. The softer he gets, the more willing you are to spill your guts, he knew that.

“Well I hate when you do that. Don’t put the walls up, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“What are you, my therapist?”

“I can be. I think talking to someone who understands you would be more beneficial than Mr. Squeaky Chair.” Josh guides you over to lay on the old couch, the only piece of furniture that existed in the cabin yet you always sat on the floor.

“Aren’t we too old for this?” You choke out.

“Too old for what?”

“This. We hide away in an abandoned cabin and make out like horny middle schoolers. And my mom thinks one of us isn’t real.”

“Do you not like that?” He looks nervous as he asks, picking at skin on the sides of his thumbs.

“Well, I like making out with you,”

“But?”

“Everyone thinks you’re not real. And I’d like for them to know you’re real so I could make out with you in my bedroom instead. Have sex on a bed like normal people. I dunno.”

Something in the air shifts. The yellow-orange-sunshine is slowly engulfed by red-blue-black metaphorical darkness.

“We can’t do that.” Josh sighs and kneels down beside the couch, bringing his hand to hold yours. The warmth that always exists in his palms felt almost absent.

“Why not, Josh? Why can’t we be normal?”

“I haven’t been honest.” He swallows harshly. You wince as he moves his hand down to rest on your knee.

“Oh great, you have a girlfriend who goes to my college and-”

“No, not a girlfriend, or boyfriend or anything like that.” He rubs his hand up and down your thigh, trying to soothe the nerves he can sense tensing. Electric couldn’t begin to explain the way his fingers feel dragging across your clothed skin.

“Is it your parents?” You sit up and pat the couch next to you for him to sit.

“Not them, no.” He brings himself to his feet before sitting beside you, removing the BlowPop from his mouth. He places the half eaten lollipop on the window sill behind the couch before bringing his hand to cup your jaw. “Y/n, can you kiss me?”

“Josh…”

“Please? Before I say anything, please just kiss me.”

“Josh,”

Could it be that bad?

You shake the feeling, giving into your temptations as you press your lips to Josh’s. Your tongue explores his until the flavor of blue raspberry is nonexistent. Your fingers grasp at his hair, the feeling of his curls helping ground you. As soon as you pull away, you find yourself returning for more regardless of the flavor being long gone from his tender lips. Josh’s hands begin snaking up the front of your hoodie, his fingertips dancing along your sides. His hands against your bare skin feels like oil paints on a canvas, gliding smoothly and perfectly around every edge and detail at the mercy of the artist. Josh’s lips trail down your neck, nipping and biting at the supple skin on your throat, earning a soft moan.

Your hands can’t help themselves, smoothing down the front of his sweater and onto his lap. His length is growing prominent beneath his jeans. Josh follows your lead, his fingers tracing under the waistband of your leggings before pulling you onto his lap.

It isn’t long before you’re pushing your hips into his, rolling methodically against his length as he continues kissing across the expanse of your skin. Josh places his hands on your hips and pushes you down, your center resting over his thigh as your leg slots between his. His hands guide your hips back and forth as you grind your core against his thigh, pressing you firmly down onto him.

One of his hands slowly drags up your side before resting under your chin, raising your face to look at him. He likes to be watched, to be seen, just as much as he likes watching you. Your eyes meet his, warm and golden like summer honey.

“You’re so pretty,” You huff out, still grinding against him. Josh moves his hand to cradle the back of your neck, drawing your lips closer to his.

“Uh-uh. You’re pretty, my baby,” He trails off, pressing his rosey lips against yours. A warm, sweet taste grows the longer he’s there, your heartbeat in places you didn't know it could be. You bring one hand from his shoulder to the back of his head, your fingers nestling deep in his brown curls as you push him closer.

No word can even begin to explain how he’s got you. Josh’s hands work between your bodies, undoing his pants as you continue rubbing against him, a giggle escaping his lips.

“What’s so funny?” You ask defensively, slowing your motions.

“My knee is soaked,” He smirks as he dips his hand past his boxers, not so subtly stroking himself.

“Oh…”

“Is this okay? We don’t-”

“No, I do!” You shout desperately, lifting from his thigh to push your pants past the wide of your ass down until they sit at your ankles. You hover over his length, pulling his boxers down before sitting him at your entrance.

“I’m quite fond of you.” He whispers and looks up, peeling his eyes away from where your bodies are about to connect. The man who loves to watch himself wasn’t watching.

“I’m fond of you, too, Josh.”

“Like a lot, Y/n, and I’m worried about messing this up.”

“You won’t.” You assure him, sinking down onto his length. You hiss at the feeling of him inside, no matter how many times you find yourselves in this situation, it always feels brand new. You fall forward, melting into Josh’s chest as he brings his arms around you with his face tucked in the crook of your neck. His lips find a home sucking a hot trail of marks up and down the side of your neck, reaching his hands down to rid you of your shoes and bottoms.

Josh gently thrusts his hips up, fucking into you slowly, making you feel every inch of his thick cock in your hungry core. Euphoria courses through your veins in times like this, a sparkly, pink goodness that seemingly takes hold of you. Buried deep inside, he holds you down on his length as he readjusts your bodies, laying you across the couch with him above you. He places his hands on the bottom hem of his shirt and hoodie, lifting them over his head to expose his chest. You reach a hand forward and lay it over his heart, pinching your eyebrows together in confusion when you don’t feel a beat.

“You okay?” Josh asks, bringing his hands to the backs of your thighs and pushing them into your chest, allowing him to sink into you deeper.

“Uh-huh,” You gasp and nod as Josh brings a hand from the back of your thigh to lay between where your bodies meet, brushing his thumb over your aching clit.

“Oh… my god…” You gasp into his mouth. “Josh…”

“S’that feel good?” He mumbles against your lips as he slowly works one finger into your already full pussy, thumb still against your clit.

“Like-like,” You hardly stutter as he brings you closer to the brink of orgasm.

“Gold?” Josh suggests, curling his finger upwards as to draw an answer.

Gold. The smell of a freshly blooming sunflower field. The first s’more of summer. The feeling of the sun drying your wet skin after swimming.

“Like gold.” A mess of gasps and moans, you swallow harshly before mewling his name. “J-Josh,”

“Y/n,” He sings, a smile tugging the corner of his lips as they’re pressed against yours. Gold, yellow, honey, rose petal lips, purple-white. The overstimulation was washing over in more ways you could count.

“Josh, please?” You beg for something that’s already yours, a feeling of white-hot washing over your entire body as you feel yourself begin to spill over the edge.

“Gonna cum for me, pretty mama? It’s all yours.” Josh continues curling his finger up, tapping the spongy spot tucked where only he can find it as his hips and thumb keep a steady pace.

Your ears begin to ring like the broken bell above the church nobody attends. Almost in a possessed-like manner, your body convulses under Josh’s touch. As he removes his finger from your aching cunt, you hardly open your eyes to watch him lick your slick off his digits. Your face must look curious because Josh smirks once more before attaching his lips to yours. He tastes of honey, delicate flowers, an old library. To be engulfed and consumed by his flame is all you’ve ever wanted, all you’ve ever craved.

Josh follows not too far afterwards, his hips stuttering and stilling as his warm release coats your walls, his warm torso laying its weight on yours. He turns his head so his cheek rests on your collar, chastely kissing whatever skin he can get his lips on as his length softens inside. It feels weird but nice, oddly enough.

“Hi,” He whispers gently into your neck.

“Hi,” You copy, letting your head fall so your cheek rests against the nest of curls on his head. Slightly damp, but god does he smell good. Chests pressed together, you lay in silence wondering where the beating of either heart has gone. The two of you lay like that for a while, soaking in one another’s presence before Josh finally pushes himself off of you. Your chest grows almost empty and airy, like a helium balloon, without his weight on top to hold you down.

“Can you tell me now?” You groan, sleepy and winded.

“The issue is that I’m not from here, Y/n.” Josh sighs, pushing his legs through his pant legs.

“And that’s okay. But I want to see, Josh. I wanna see where you’re from.”

“It’s all black-red, you don’t wanna see that.”

“I want to know you. Let me see.” Your shoulders fall alongside your expression as you pull your panties over your legs followed by your leggings. Josh reaches down to grab your hand and for a second everything feels orange again. Josh offers a worried smile before everything turns physically black.

“Josh?” Not only is he gone, but everything in the distance looks to be going, too.

It can’t be.

Is Josh… Not real? Just a thought for your amusement?

As you succumb to darkness, you realize maybe blue isn’t so bad after all. It was much better than black, at least. Your surroundings felt like the blue raspberry, thunderstorm, whirring darkness that occured after the incident. Yet still you find you’re unable to recall anything prior outside of riding your bike in the woods.

Finally, you remember something but still not enough to answer what happened that day. All you remember is a glimpse of orange trying to pull you from the darkness and the taste of blue raspberry. A huge wave of grey-black sorrow washes over you, sobs ripping through your chest. Panic is all you know to do.

“Hey,” Orange wraps itself around you in the form of his arms, and even though you can’t see, you know it’s him because of the shade of his words. “It’s okay, I’m right here.”

“Where?” You shudder.

“In the heart.”

One deep, ragged breath fills your lungs as you open your eyes expecting nothing except pitch black, but you’re back in the cabin. It doesn’t feel yellow anymore.

“What happened?” You squeak out, just like that damned chair.

“Y/n,” Josh says gently as he walks to stand before you. He wraps his arms around your shoulders and rests his chin on your head.

“Josh, tell me what happened, I need to know.” You mumble into his chest as you choke back tears.

“We don’t exist.”

“Yes we do! We exist, Josh. We are real, we feel things. Could we feel things if we weren’t real?” You push yourself away from his hold and ball your fists at your side.

“You can ball your fists, but that doesn’t bring us back to life.” He frowns, plopping onto the floor. He sits criss-crossed, looking up at you with those big brown eyes.

“Back to life?”

“You died that day, Y/n. It’s why you can’t remember anything that happened.”

“Died?” You fall to your knees in front of him, your fists thumping against the ground. Nothing was real, at least it hasn’t been for the last few years.

“I tried to save you but I was too late. I saw you just… laying there, but I tried, Y/n.” Josh rests his hands on your knees. If neither of you are real, then how can you feel him?

For the first time you’re able to recall the darkness. Why it tasted of blue raspberry, where your hatred for the squeaking came from, why nobody believed Josh was real. You try again to remember the day of the accident, but to no avail.

Bike. Black. Blue. Orange.

[ashisill]

Colorado woman

Warnings: (Abusive past relationship, past relationship trauma, illusions to sexual trauma,language, slight ptsd, drinking, smoking, and I believe thats all. If I missed any feel free to let me know)

Summary: Josh had given up on looking for a partner. After the last woman he swore he’d never love again. After two years of being alone his brothers started to believe him. They decided to take matters into their own hands. Lucky for them his dream woman awaits in Colorado … you.

: This is the longest fic I’ve ever written, so please give me a little bit to fix any mistakes!

~

“Let’s go out Josh. We can go to that bar Sam loves, and find you a partner. Or at least someone to fill that void”

“How many times have I told you? I don’t want a relationship. The last thing I want is to find someone drunk at a bar. Gross”

“Jeez Joshua look at you. You’ve lived at my house for two weeks now. Admit it your starting to get lonely and you don’t like it”

He laughed out loud “I’m not lonely I just don’t want to be stuck at my house all the time. Is that so bad?

“You have been sleeping in my spare room for two weeks. That’s a lot different than wanting to get out of the house for a while”

“I mean I’ll leave if your kicking me out” He laughed it off.

“That not what I’m saying Josh. Tell me what’s your type?”

“Don’t have one. I’m not like you Jake. I like to do my own thing. I wouldn’t be happy tied down to anyone”

“I’ve been doing my own thing for eight years, and my relationship is thriving”

“Well congratulations. That’s you not me. I promise you the last thing I want is a relationship”

“Then make it a fling, but for gods sake put yourself out there”

“You know I don’t see how this is any of your business or concern”

“I want you to be happy Josh, and I know that you’re not. You can brush me off like you always do, but you are lonely and it scares you. You know I don’t care if you stay with me, but you shouldn’t have to. You’re like damn near depressed all the time and that worries me Josh”

“Do you what scares me more? Getting into a relationship and everything being the same as the last one. I’d rather be lonely than risk having to feel like that again”

“Now was it that hard to open up to me? You’re not even looking. I’m not saying you have to jump into anything, but when’s the last time you’ve tried?”

“I have tried they just never work out”

“Josh you haven’t tried since … her”

“And so fucking what? You know what Jake but out. You’re not helping. All you’ve done is bitch at me” Jake just stared at him “what?”

“Josh” he placed a hand on his shoulder “All I’m trying to say is don’t give up looking. Don’t shut everyone out because you’re afraid. I want to see the light come back to your eyes. Because right now Josh I’ve never seen you so dull. Keep an open mind that’s all”

He sighed rubbing the back of his neck “Okay Jake”

~

“Do you think we should teach them more tricks?” Sam said to his girlfriend Hannah as they watched the dogs play in the yard. They heard the doorbell ring. “I got it last time” Hannah said.

Sam opened the door surprised to see who it was. “Didn’t expect you today what’s up?”

“I need to talk to you about Josh”

He took Jake to the backyard where they were sitting. “What’s up? Is he okay?”

“Sam he’s been staying at my house for two weeks. Not that I mind him there what so ever, but I worry for him. He needs someone new in his life. Hell at this point he needs a friend at least”

He looked at his girlfriend puzzled, and she spoke “he stayed at our place a few weeks ago. Sometimes he comes over for dinner as well”

“He’s scared because of that bitch. I hate her for everything she’s done to him”

“I mean I’m sure he is scared after all that. She practically abused him id probably give up for a while too”

“But it’s Josh the most loving person we know. He’s wasting all of his potential he needs someone. He’s not happy I’ve never seen his eyes so sad”

“You really wanna risk it again? We don’t know everything he went through in the first place. I think we just need to let him figure this out”

“It’s been almost two years Sam. He won’t do it himself”

“He’ll be fine we shouldn’t push him. If he gets hurt again it’s all our fault. I don’t want that guilt on my chest”

“I’m with Jake on this one. The last time Josh was over we smoked together. He got very upset, and was kinda spilled a lot to me. I promised him I wouldn’t tell, but Jake’s right I think he needs helps”

“That’s what I came here for thank you. Do we know of anyone?”

Sam sighed “There’s that one girl that we met at that festival”

“You want him with a junkie?”

“She wasn’t a junkie!”

“Sam honey you’re oblivious. I know someone that might be perfect. Only thing is she lives in Colorado”

“Josh always says he wants to live in the mountains. What’s she like?”

“Well she’s currently kinda in the same situation as him. Rough love life scared to move on. He would fall in love instantly. She’s beautiful”

“Personality?” Jake asked “she better be an angel”

“Just picture Josh, but as a female. I’d say she’s a more little outgoing than him. She reminds me of him a lot, but they are very different in their own ways”

“Good start” Jake said nodding his head.

“She very soft spoken. Overall she’s just a very kind hearted person. She’s the only person I know that would never hurt him”

“You’re positive she’s single?” Sam asked

“Yes she always says she talks to her dogs more than people. She lives alone, but says she hates being alone. She loves company because she doesn’t get it much living out in the mountains. I just know she would love Josh. They fit each other”

“Well you know it’s convenient that we’re off tour. How the hell are we getting Josh to Colorado?”

“I can talk to her. She would adore everyone coming out there. Let me see when she’s free” she stepped inside to make a phone call.

“Josh has always handled himself, but I’m watching him fall apart. He doesn’t act like himself anymore. He’s not content. When he’s home he’s pacing around the house. Or he’ll leave and distract himself for hours” Jake told his brother.

“I guess I didn’t realize how bad it’s gotten. He puts on a show for everyone. I suppose I wasn’t able to see through it like you did”

“The last thing I want is for him to get hurt again. He just needs his confidence back”

Hannah returned with a smile “everyone free next week?”

~

“Colorado?” Josh questioned picking at his fingers “why out of the blue?”

“My friend invited us to come stay with her for a week” Hannah said convincingly.

“Who’s your friend?” Josh asked perking up an eyebrow.

“Well her name is y/n, and I haven’t seen her in a while. She invited me and Sam, but we thought you guys might want to come”

“I don’t suppose I have anything better to do. Next week you said?”

Hannah got excited when he agreed. “Yes next week, and we will leave early that morning. This is gonna be so much fun!”

~

The air was cool, the green of the leaves was almost gone, and they were minutes away from arrival. A cozy little cabin in the middle of nowhere. Just you, and your dogs. You’ve spent the past week cleaning, stocking up on food, and preparing your house for guests. It’s not often you get them. Living so far away from everything your use to being alone. You would be lying if you said you weren’t beyond excited. You heard serval cars disrupt the once peaceful gravel road. Your dog’s ears perked up as you all headed towards the door. You hoped they wouldn’t be afraid of the large dogs that causally lounge around your home. You took a breath and opened the door.

“Why am I nervous?” Josh whispered to Jake.

“New place new person. Hannah said she’s a lot like you so maybe you’ll get along well”

“This isn’t a set up is it?”

He laughed “You think I would take you all the way to Colorado to set you up?”

“Yes … yes I do”

He sighed “well I didn’t. It’s just a trip Hannah invited us on. I know as much as you do. Just relax it will be fun”

He squinted his eyes at him “whatever you say”

You stood on the porch watching as they all unloaded from the cars.

“Y/n!” Hannah ran up hugging you.

“I missed you so much. I’m so happy you’re here!”

“This is Sam my boyfriend”

“I know you” you giggled “heard lots”

“Good things I hope. This is my bestie Danny”

“Hi Danny. Your hair so curly I’m jealous”

“Thank you” he laughed.

“This is Jake and his girlfriend” They waved at you, and you smiled back.

“And this is Josh”

“Oh” you paused “hello I’m y/n”

“Nice to meet you” he said quietly.

Maybe you were crazy, but you felt a connection. You known him for five seconds but you feel drawn to him. His fluffy hair that his fingers nervously ran through. His sense of style was definitely your taste. He was more soft spoken than the rest. You liked that a lot. He just had this air about him that made you want to know him.

You invited everyone inside, and you realized it was already late in the afternoon. You showed them around your place before the sun started to set. Everyone started to settle in and feel more at home.

“Very lovely place you got” Jake said admiring the cozy atmosphere.

“Thank you it’s Jake right?” You asked.

“Correct” he gave you a wink.

“I don’t wanna be that person, but where are we sleeping?” Sam asked.

“Sam don’t be rude” Josh corrected.

“No worries. So I only have one guest bedroom so the couples will have to fight over that” you laughed. “There’s an air mattress, and a couch”

“We call the bedroom” Jake shouted smiling at his girlfriend.

“Oh fuck you” Sam rolled his eyes.

“I mean he did say it first” Danny laughed.

“I promise the air mattress won’t deflate on you in the middle of the night. It was quite the investment”

“Then we call the air mattress” Sam said.

“I never mind sleeping on a couch. I’m used to it” Danny laughed.

Josh becoming worried “I guess I’ll be sleeping on the couch too?”

“No you’re sleeping on the floor Joshua” Danny said shaking his head. “No way in hell am I sleeping on a couch with you”

“Thank god I don’t have to share a bed with him” Jake said. “Tired of waking up with bruises”

“Rough sleeper?” You asked

They all laugh “absolutely. I used to be forced to share a bed with him when we were little I never got any sleep. He tossed and turned all night, and he kicks you … hard. Cons of being a twin”

“I’ve been slapped a few times” Sam said.

“I’m sorry did you say twins?”

“Yeah can you tell?” He joked.

“You know I can definitely see it”

“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor” Josh sighed

“Poor Josh” you said.

“Poor josh? What about the victims” Jake said making the room laugh.

“Well we can figure it out later. I’m not letting you sleep on the floor that’s for sure” you say to him. “Here’s the remote. Turn on whatever you’d like. Also there’s beer and stuff in the fridge” you said going into the kitchen to start on dinner.

Danny got up grabbing enough for everyone. You could definitely tell who the siblings were. As Jake and Sam bickered over the remote. Danny tried to intervene between the two. Which ended with a pissed off sam, and a cocky smirk from Jake.

Josh rolled his eyes, and walked into the kitchen. “Need some help?”

“Oh you don’t have to do all that”

“I don’t mind really” his eyes shifted to the potato’s lying in the countertop. “I could peel those if you needed”

“That would be lovely thank you”

It started out in comfortable silence. Only speaking to confirm he’s doing right. As he watched the sun set from the window his mind began to wonder.

“So” he cleared his throat. “how long have you lived in Colorado?”

“Well I visited when I was 15 fell in love, and I moved when I was 19. Been here ever since, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. You’re from Nashville?”

“Not by choice” he laughed “originally I’m from Michigan, but with the band and all. We had to move closer to the studio and stuff”

“How’s that all going?”

“The band? It’s been a lot to be honest. Rewarding, but exhausting. I’m just glad we’re on a break from tour”

“I don’t know how you do it every night. I can barely work without getting drained”

“You figure it out eventually I suppose. Knife?”

“Top drawer. What’s it’s like traveling the world, and playing to people every night”

“It never gets boring I’ll say that. When you’re up there looking out into the crowd. They love you with all their heart. It’s like they understand you in a sense. You can really feel the love up on that stage. It makes up for the exhaustion I suppose”

“That sounds beautiful. Maybe I’ll get to come to a show one day”

“So what made you invite everyone out here? Gotta be an adjustment from peace and quiet all the time”

“Oh it wasn’t my idea. I’m glad everyone came out though it’s nice to have a change”

“Oh? I was told something different wonder why” he thought it over in his head

“Well now I’m curious what you were told”

“The story was that you invited Hannah, and she invited us”

“She called me” you laughed hard. “That’s a silly thing to lie about”

He knew. He knew exactly why they lied. He knew Jake lied to his face in the car. Now that he’s met you he knows exactly why they’ve brought him here. You. Now he would be lying if his said his heart wasn’t skipping beats right now. Only now that he’s figured it out his nerves are shot.

“Good thing this cooks pretty slow so we can go relax for a while”

He followed you to the couch and hesitantly sat down beside you. His eyes shifted from the movie to picking at his finger, and back to the movie. He had scabs around his fingers from it. You could tell he was on edge a little bit. Something changed since your talk in the kitchen but you didn’t know what. He seemed nervous around you now. Although you couldn’t understand why you knew what might help. “Do you smoke?”

He nodded his head with a smile “me and Josh are gonna smoke if anyone wants to join”

You walked outside and a few of them followed. Passing it in a circle and making small talk. Josh took a drag off the joint and closed his eyes. Blowing it out and nodding his head. “Damn that’s good shit”

“Told you so” you laughed as he handed it to you.

“It’s so pretty out here. Wish I lived in the mountain” Danny said admiring the view.

“I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else” you said. “Shit I left my drink inside be right back”

“Jacob Tomas Kiszka” Josh said stern. “You brought me here to hook me up?”

“I already told you I wouldn’t-”

“I made the mistake of asking her. She said this wasn’t her idea to invite us out. Instead she got a phone call from Hannah”

“Josh listen” he said before Hannah cut him off.

“We were worried about you Josh. She’s in the same situation you are. Give her a chance”

“How did you know? How did you know we would click? Because I’ve never- I’ve never done that with anyone”

“I just knew”

They were quick to end the conversation when you walked back outside. You all stayed outside for a while passing the joint around. They gave you the last hit, and you threw the roach out into the yard. After everyone was done eating dinner the night started to get fun. Everyone had a good buzz going, and the house was lively. Josh started to come out of his shell, talking louder, and with more excitement. “My god you guys are funny” you went into the kitchen to make another drink. Josh followed you also needing a refill.

“Doing alright?” He asked you.

“Haven’t been this messed up in a while” you laughed.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m almost to your level” he smiled. “I never told you but-”

“Y/n holy shit! You got more weed? I feel fucking great�� drunk Sam comes shouting in the kitchen

You laughed “go into my room and there’s like 4 laying on the tv stand” you paused waiting for Sam to leave. “Never told me what?”

“Oh never mind” he waved a hand in the air.

“But-”

“Y/n” Sam came back in tugging at your shirt. “Come smoke with us”

“Fine. Josh you coming?”

“I think I’ll set this one out” he smiled at you.

“Josh is sweet” you said sitting outside with Sam and Hannah.

“Oh he’s a sweetheart” she said.

“I can tell” you put the joint between your lips and lit the tip.

“Single” Sam said and Hannah gently smacked him. “What? It’s true”

“Oh”

“He’s been through a lot relationship wise, but so have you” Hannah said.

“Don’t let him fool you he’s not always that quiet”

“Well neither am I” you laughed “he seems nervous”

“I suppose he is” Sam said taking a hit “he has been just kinda down recently. Plus his ex kinda took his self confidence from him”

“I guess he just gets lonely a lot, and it’s catching up to him” Hannah said.

“I know how that feels” you said pointing to the mountains “it’s just me and my dogs out here”

“It’s got its perks I would assume” Hannah said.

“Oh yeah definitely” you stared for a moment “he’s cute”

“Think so?” Hannah asked excitedly.

“He has kind eyes. I like his hair it’s fluffy. He just seems so nice”

“All I’m gonna say is he’s interested”

Josh sat on the couch with his brother. “Has she said anything to you? About like me or anything?”

Jake laughed “no but I can tell she’s taking a liking to you”

“Oh definitely” Danny chimed in “how do you feel about her?”

“I dunno she just kinda has this glow around her, and I wanna be part of the light”

They looked at each other and started laughing “oh he’s in love Danny”

“She seems perfect for you. Gonna thank me or what?” Jake teased taking a sip from his drink.

“Yeah yeah whatever”

“So what move are you going to make? Let’s get this started right?” Danny asked.

“Yeah you’re funny. I’m done making the moves. If it’s meant to be then it will be”

They both rolled their eyes “well shit”

“Hi” you said slamming open the door. It was obvious by your state that you were pretty messed up. “Joshua. Can I call you Joshua?”

“If you’d like” he turned to look at you. You plopped down beside him on the couch.

“Joshua!” You shouted “I have an idea”

He jumped when you yelled his name. Laughing about how you startled him. “What’s your idea?”

You shuffle through your phone looking for a song. When you found the perfect one you jumped to your feet. “Wanna dance with me?”

He smiled, and he cheeks blushed pink. “I would love to dance with you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and his hands held your waist. “oh shit. I’m so sorry I stepped in your toes”

He smiled down at you “don’t worry about it darling”

“Darling? I like that” you laid your head on his chest. He danced you around your living room. By the time it was over almost everyone had joined. It was magical to see your house so lively and full of love.

“You made me dizzy” you giggled and sat down on the couch. Your head laid on his shoulder and you begun to get sleepy. Danny went into action being the dad of the group. Helping Jake as he stumbled into the guest room. He helped Sam blow up the air mattress, and grabbed blankets for everyone. He filled up a glass of water and sat it on Jake’s bedside table. Making sure everyone had a least a little water to drink before bedtime.

“What we gonna do about you?” You turned to Josh. “Want to sleep with me?”

“Good luck sleeping” Danny joked.

“Oh he won’t bother me I’m a deep sleeper. Nothing wakes me up”

“They’re not wrong. I don’t wanna hurt you in your own bed”

“Joshua shut up” Sam whispered.

You laughed at his attempt to help his brother “come on Josh”

“Are you sure I mean I-”

“Josh shut up” Sam and Danny said in unison.

You reached out your hand, and he grabbed it. He headed into the room “you’re room is cute”

“Thank you most the decor is diy or thrifted”

“They look amazing. Did you make this?”

He took interest in the large painting on the wall. You nodded “yes I love to paint”

“That’s so impressive. I love art myself, but I could never make anything like this”. He gently ran his fingers on the edge of the painting.

Your cheeks now bright red, and a soft smile on your lips “thank you Josh. I’m sure you could do better”

“Definitely not. I’m not really a painter. I design my own stage clothes. I sketch what I want it to look like, and then somebody makes it. I like it because it’s always exactly how I want it to be. I take inspiration from all kinds of stuff, and make it into one thing. It’s more than just an outfit really. It’s almost like another person when I put them on”

“Like each outfit is its own art piece? It’s like painting. When you’re in a good mood your art is going to distribute something completely different than if you were gloomy. The paintings are entirely different it’s almost as if different people painted them.”

“That’s exactly it! You understand” he smiles.

“Artists to artists of course I understand”

You let him look around a bit longer before excusing yourself to go change. When you came back he was still looking at the painting. He had pajama pants on with a white sleeved shirt. You tripped over your feet walking into the room. Stumbling around, and your vision was getting blurry. “Stumbling around a little. You okay?”

“Hmm” you reached for his shoulder to stabilize yourself. Without much thought he picked you up. Tucking you into the bed, and lying down beside you.

“If I hurt you or keep you up please wake me up. I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. I just-”

“Shh you’re not gonna bother me. Stop stressing about it. I can tell this is something people might have made you feel bad about”

“Yeah well try hurting the people you love and have no control over it”

A lazy finger pressed against his lip “shh don’t worry about it. Joshua”

You both laid there in silence trying to drift away. The silence was deadly, and you tossed and turned. Unable to fall asleep, and your mind raced about the man next to you. In a whisper you spoke “Josh”

Sleepy he replied “yes?”

“Can you hold me?”

“I would love nothing more”

When the sun started to rise you two were the last ones awake. Jake crept open the door worried you might have ended up on the floor. Instead he found you tangled up together. The sheets hanging off the bed, and he was holding you protectively.

“Sam come here … look” Jake said pointing at the two of you.

He poked his head through the door “awe they look so cozy”

“I wonder how long they’ve been like that”

“All he needed was a cuddle buddy I guess” Sam said.

You started to stir as the sun shined through the curtains. “Shit” they giggled and shut the door.

Josh’s eyes peeked opened to you lying across him. He closed his eyes for a moment taking it in. You were you wrapped around him tightly. One leg hiked across his waist, and the other twisted in his leg. Your arm laid across his chest, and so was your head. He was loving every minute of you. Wishing this moment would never end. However, you started to wake up. His grip was strong hopeful you wouldn’t move. You looked up at him and smiled. “Good morning”

“Good morning. Sleep okay?” He asked.

“I slept amazing. You?”

“Best sleep I’ve got in a while”

“Your so warm that’s probably why I slept so good. It’s usually freezing in here. I wasn’t all over you too much right?”

“Not too much at all. Been a while since well you know”

“Feels nice to be held. What happened to the sheets?”

“Not sure about that one”

His eyes were glowing, and his face had a smile you haven’t seen before. Dosing off a little bit with the warmth of his body. You’ve never felt so comfortable in your life. The sheets felt like honey on your skin. You wondered if you found heaven, or at least peace. You two laid tangled up together for at least an hour. Realizing the time you sighed, and climbed out of your side of heaven. The two of you stumbled into the living room. “Well good morning love bugs” Sam teased which resulted in another playful smack from his girl. “Leave them alone” she whispered.

“Checked for bruises?” Danny said.

“I don’t think he moved one bit. Except the kick the sheets off. Or maybe that was me” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Maybe all he needed was someone to hold” Jake said.

His face turned bright red and his eyes got big “oh my god shut up. How did you know that?”

“I have my ways”

“Creep” Josh rolled his eyes.

You giggled at him, and walked into the kitchen. You opened the container of coffee grounds and put it into the maker. Making a pot then going to your bedroom to get dressed. Jake and Josh were talking in the kitchen as they drank their coffee.

“So” he paused taking a sip “seems to be going well”

“Last night was the first night I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night”

“Is that why you’ve been up doing fuck knows what?”

“Yeah I’d wake up at like three in the morning and I could never go back to sleep. So I’d get up and start doing stuff”

“You’ve scared the shit out of me when I walk downstairs to get water, and you’re standing in the kitchen. You really gotta go back home bud”

“I know I know. Hey maybe I won’t have too” he joked.

“Gonna become a mountain man?”

Josh talks with his hands that’s very obvious. What he doesn’t do is pay attention to where his hands fly around. The conversation has peeked his interest, and when his hands flare out he hits the open container. Coffee grounds go everywhere. Josh’s face turns white, and he starts to panic.

“Oh fuck” he repeated over and over. “Here we go. It was going so good, and I’ve fucked it all up”

“Josh it’s just coffee grounds I’m sure she’ll understand it was an accident”

“You don’t understand Jake. Do you not fucking remember?”

“I remember, but she nothing like her. She won’t get mad I’m sure of it”

“I’ve ruined everything. Why am I like this Jake?”

“You haven’t done anything wrong. Josh you’ve been the best I’ve seen you in so long. Let’s not lose progress over coffee grounds …. Josh”

Still he panicked, hyperventilating, going into his head and -

“Josh how fucking stupid are you?”

“I’m sorry it was an accident I’ll pick it up”

“I just fucking poured that drink. You are fucking useless”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’ll clean it up”

“Why am I even with you? Your so damn pathetic”

“It was just an accident”

“Shut the hell up and pick it up. I don’t need to hear your whining”

“I’m trying but your yelling at me”

“Are you gonna fucking cry about it? Go ahead cry see if I give a shit Josh”

“Josh!”

“Huh?”

“Did you hear me? She’s gonna get the broom for us”

“You told her? Why would you do that? We could of figured it out”

“Josh breathe. Take a damn breath. I’m gonna say it again she’s isn’t like her”

“Oh no what happened?” you said walking into the kitchen.

“I’m so sorry it was an accident I’ll clean it up”

“Oh no worries. Shit happens” you waved a hand in the air.

“I’m so sorry I-” his fingers ran through his hair. Processing your response he looked at you confused “Wait what did you say?” he said softly.

“I said shit happens. I’d be a fool to get mad over something so small. Go sit down I’ve got it”

He looked at his brother confused. “You’re not mad? Why aren’t you mad? I spilled this everywhere”

“Don’t beat yourself up. I’m clumsy as hell. Always spilling stuff. Go sit down” you handed him his coffee cup “here. Go take a breath”

Josh exited the room, and you turned to Jake for some answers. “Jake” you whispered.

“What’s up?” He grabbed the broom as you held the dust pan.

“Is he okay? Why did he get so upset?”

He swept the grounds into the dust pan. His face shifted to an almost confused look. Then you thought maybe it was an angry one. But his eyes looked hurt, and watched him quietly.

He sighed “his ex is a horrible person. She treated him like shit, and made him feel bad when he made a mistake. I don’t know everything, but I know she did get physical sometimes”

“That’s horrible he doesn’t deserve that”

“No he doesn’t. There was a trip we were on and he spilled her drink on accident. She cussed him out, and called him all these names. He was cleaning it up and she kicked him with her boot. I got a little rough shoving her away from him, but it should have never happened. He stayed and I don’t know why. I think he was afraid to leave her. It was like an intervention I swear. We all sat with him and told him he deserved better, and we helped him break it off”

“But he’s so sweet how could anyone treat him that way? I want to fix this”

He sighed again, and you could tell something was weighing on him “can I tell you the truth?”

You nodded, and he spoke “your the reason we’re here. We thought maybe you two would hit it off. We were worried for him … very worried. Josh has always been the most outgoing person, and it hurt watching him fade. Hannah said that you were single, and it was just a hunch. We just wanted to help him. I’m sorry I don’t want to pressure you”

“So that’s why everyone lied to him” now it made sense. “I don’t click with people. There’s never been a person I felt instantly connected too. Except yesterday when I laid eyes on Josh. It’s been a day, but I’m glad you brought him here. We’re both wounded, and because of that I think we can heal each other. Thank you Jake”

You decided to put there plan in motion. You got up to find Josh “Hey follow me”

You went out the gate and started walking down a rocky path. He didn’t ask where you were taking him nor did he care. He watched as the dogs switched between walking beside you to scanning the area ahead. You never minded the dogs running off when on your walks. You got closer to the mountains and Josh’s eyes began to glow. You hiked down to the river. A deep spot that nearly looked like a pond. The mountain ran above it making the spot secluded. “Look at this place. It’s breathtaking”

“It never fails to impress me. The waters cold I don’t usually get to swim. I just come here to relax”

He reached his hands in the water “I mean it’s not that cold”

“Wanna get in then tough guy?”

He reached to remove his shirt “wait!”. You took off running and he ran after you.

You made it to the top of the smallest cliff. “Your kidding me right?”

“What? Are you scared?” You teased him.

“Maybe a little. Sure it’s deep enough?”

Rolling your eyes at him you asked “do you trust me?”

“I do”

You took your shirt off revealing a lacy white bra, and panties to match. He looked away quickly, but his face already turned red. “It’s okay” you giggled

“Sorry” he said with his eyes glued to the ground.

“Don’t be. Human nature ya know. You’re turn”

He removed his shirt, and stripped down to his boxers. You placed your hands on his shoulders grabbing his attention “Listen whatever we went through let’s try to move past it. I’ve been scared too Josh. For two years I was afraid of any interaction with a man. I could barely go places by myself”

“What happened? Only if your comfortable to answer”

“Started at a party my drink got spiked. I don’t remember anything or if anything happened to me. I thought it was because he like me so I started dating him. He would hurt me often. I thought it was normal, and I convinced myself he loved me. The cycle continued until my friends got me help. It was relationship after relationship, and it was all the same. That’s what I thought I deserved I suppose. I’m still in therapy and I continue to get better every day”

“I guess it was my first serious relationship. Or so I thought, but I meant nothing to her. I never dated much in high school. All she did was yell at me. I couldn’t spend enough on her. It was never enough. She would hit me and it’s not that it hurt that bad. It hurt more knowing she wanted to harm me. I loved her, and she wanted nothing more than to hurt me. My brothers got me away from her thank goodness. I’m also in therapy I never thought it would help, but it has. And I know I’m so awkward, but it’s almost as if I don’t know how to act. No one’s ever been as gentle with me as you are”

“We will heal together. This jump is us letting go”

You reach out your hand, and counted down. With no hesitation he jumped with you. Falling farther than he thought, and his body rushed with adrenaline. You both hit the cold water, and gasp coming back up. He slicked his hair back, and tried to catch his breath. “I take it back this water is freezing”

“That was so fun Josh” you shouted holding his shoulders. “Oh my god I feel so alive. Do you feel it Josh?”

He nodded his head and wrapped his arms around your waist. You threw your arms on his neck. “Yeah I feel it”

You held on to him tight, feeling his heart beat against yours. You stayed in the water far too long in this cool weather. You just couldn’t make yourself let go. You put your forehead against his. “Can I kiss you?”

He smiled softly “I would love that”

You leaned in placing your lips to his. Your body felt warm for a minute. Like a shock of electricity ran through your veins. Your lips moved against him. You let the last kiss drag out before you pulled back “I cant feel my toes”

“I can’t feel a lot of things” he said, and you busted out laughing. You hiked back up to the top to grab your clothes and headed towards the house. You were shivering and your teeth were chattering. When you arrived back at the house you couldn’t feel a thing. Everyone was sitting outside, and their neck snapped around to look at you two.

“What the hell happened to you guys?” Jake asked

“Oh you know we just jumped off a cliff. No biggie” Josh teased.

“We left you two alone for an hour and you jump off a cliff” he laughed.

“I’m gonna go change, and start the fire” you kissed his cheek.

Causing everyone’s jaws to drop. “Did she just-?”

Everyone gasped excitedly, and Josh just seemed to glow. He nodded his head proudly, and started to tell the story. His hands were flying everywhere as he spoke in detail.

“Hot chocolates on the stove, and the fire has been started”

“Actually that sounds quite nice” Jake said.

As the temperature dropped everyone piled in the house. Laying around the living room with hot chocolate in hand. A cozy movie playing, and the lights turned down.

You turned off the stove, and stepped into the living room. Looking around the room seeing everyone so content. You just smiled wishing it could be like this forever. He noticed your giddy smile “Come here love”

You cuddled up beside him, and he threw the blanket over you two. The house was warm, and everyone was completely relaxed. You felt as if you were melting into Josh. You thought this might be the most comfortable you’ve ever been. Your eyes started to get heavy, and before you knew it sleep had taken over.

You feared for the end of this week. Knowing it was coming soon. He would leave and go back to his busy life. You would be here like you always are. For now his fingers ran through your hair, and his lips kissed your forehead. He couldn’t quit place the feeling he was feeling, but he knew one thing.

He was home.