#greta van fleet fan fic

[katuschka]

Olalla Chapter Nine

Josh Kiszka x f!OC x Jake Kiszka 5.569 words

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): phone sex, masturbation, LGBT themes, mentions of infidelity, anxiety, betrayal&trust issues, secrets, overall a healthy dose of emotional shit as always

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Previous chapter Olalla masterpost

Over the mountains, woods and valleys two guys fought with shepherd's axes. Hey guys! Stop fighting! The girl has two braids; you can share!

November 2025; Josh 

He stood silent, but the contents of his mind were full of roaring memories of moments similar to this one. He could hear his younger and more carefree self shouting, almost as if someone played it in his in-ear. Can you feel iiiiiiit?

Exhilaration, stage fright, happiness, fear, anticipation…

All the emotions crammed into that fleeting, magical moment that lasts just a few seconds before everything bursts. The moment which ALL the souls and hearts in the large arena shared as one. He couldn’t see them yet, but their cries reverberated through the walls on their way from the green room to the stage and the volume reached the deafening level as soon as the band’s silhouettes appeared behind the semi opaque curtain.

There was no speech this time, no pre-recorded intro; just the sound of Sam’s Hammond organ that first started as a feeble hum, barely audible in the roaring mix of cries, clapping hands and stomping feet. Back to basics, while sticking to the most essential refinements. 

The tones grew louder then, and Josh could feel them set the stage beneath his feet vibrating, which only added to his agitation. So glad to be back, and yet so anxious. 

So much had changed in just one year, so many things that altered their course. The ‘Spring/Summer festival tour’ literally changed his life. He had loved, he had lost, he was now taking a path to the unknown, and it all left people wondering. His sudden disappearance and a subsequent injury started brand new rumors, and all the attempts to stop them from spreading felt like fighting Hydra. Eventually, they just stopped trying and focused on work, but now it made his guts clench again. Did they still love him? Would they still accept him, standing in front of them so vulnerable and naked? He knew some of them condemned him for what he had done, a few believed the lies about him, but thousands of them still came back. 

He looked at Jake for reassurance, but found him crouched under his own heavy thoughts, while his hands followed Sam’s direction, adding more ringing notes to the whole cacophony of the tamed melody and tumultuous feelings. 

Josh was on his own in this. He too looked down and smoothed a wrinkle on his new ebony satin wrap jacket. It hugged him around the waist and fell in smooth cascades around his hips. It was a perfect piece of garment, elegant when tied up, and frivolous-looking when he let it open. Unsure about it at first, he had gained some meat back during the last month, so he could now finally acknowledge that it really looked good on him. He put his chin up, both metaphorically and literally, and ran his fingers across the edges of the new dark brass laurel wreath that now decorated his head. It was a last minute addition, designed to hide the scar that was still visible under his patchy haircut. A deep breath in, and…

The curtain dropped. 

... and the room exploded. He looked down and realized they had been just as nervous, and finally they could just let it all out. Raising his arms up in a simple gesture, he urged them to do it, and then welcomed him in return. 

It was a wonderful song to open the show with. Just like with Heat Above, the initial tension grew until it was almost unbearable, only to be replaced by smooth harmonies and a soaring melody. However, they also experimented a bit more with this one, changing the tempo as well as the mood right where the chorus was supposed to be, hitting the listener right in the chest with its aggressive force. It was a perfect hymn for disturbing times, and the lyrics were Josh’s new prayer. 

When it was over, Josh closed his eyes, panting, and tried to get ready for the next song. The initial high subsided and he was now painfully aware of his surroundings. The new setlist had been one of the main topics of the recent late night quarrels. Sam and Daniel wanted to continue with Safari, while Jake opposed the idea without being able to explain why. He got outvoted eventually and now it was his turn to play the initial chords. 

Everything went smoothly until the first chorus. Josh turned slightly to the left, just like he had been used to doing, only to see Jake still standing at his side of the stage. He took one step forward, but Jake kept ignoring him. The audience noticed too, and he could see their frowned and confused faces as he continued to sing “why don’t you give some lovin’” and by that time it was painfully obvious that Jake wasn’t coming. One of the most notorious examples of their twin bond, one that started years ago as a telepathic need, was gone. Jake no longer wanted to sing that song together with him. 

Thousands of miles away, still tucked in her warm bed, Agnieszka was watching the livestream. 

Agnieszka 

After she had followed all the accounts that promised to do the streaming, Agnieszka had set her alarm clock to 3:30 to make sure she wouldn’t miss a single minute of it. With her headphones on, a cup of strong coffee at hand and a wildly beating heart inside her chest, she joined thousands of the people in the arena and hundreds of others online as a silent voyeur.  

While reading all those excited comments, she had no intention to join the live chat. She had even gone as far as to create new burner accounts everywhere, just to be able to keep tracks without being seen. She had already learned the power of gossip with the two of them still here, and things only got worse after they left, all because of one smudgy photo made by some fan from Warsaw.

It happened early on during their stay. The two of them were just helping Agnieszka with some groceries when a girl approached them and they reluctantly agreed to take a photo with her, well aware that things could get much worse if they refused. Much to everyone’s relief, nothing really happened afterwards, even though the picture circulated through the online space for a few days. It was just a photo of the guys “on vacation”, location unspecified, with both of them hiding under their hats and behind their sunglasses. They were probably just taking some time off after the recent media shitstorm, people concluded. Joshua needed to get out, and Jake was there to keep him company. 

It was only after the fans started discussing possible reasons for and creating their own theories about Josh's mysterious injury and why the tour got postponed when the girl posted another photo on Reddit that ultimately caused a huge uproar. The picture showed the three of them leaving the supermarket, location specified, with her confirming that the dark-haired woman who seemed local was indeed there with them. And since it was a clear violation of the guys’ privacy, the girl got roasted for it immediately and deleted it shortly afterwards. But the harm was already done, the photo quickly appeared on other platforms and fueled people’s imagination.  

Things got a bit out of hand in early October. At one point, she even martyrously tried to convince Joshua not to come back and just forget about their little affair, but he was adamant, unwilling to let anyone ruin his life any further. 

And now Jake only made things worse. The fourth song just started, and the people in the chat were still discussing his strange behaviour. To say that it made Agnieszka feel uncomfortable would be an understatement. Of course she knew they were supposed to sing those lines together, as she had spent the last two months watching every video that there was. Official material, fan footage and old interviews became her everyday bedtime stories. She even fell asleep while listening to Joshua’s guided meditation a few times. 

It always made her feel like an Alice in Wonderland, unable to comprehend how she came to know these talented and flamboyant people. She had dined with them, got drunk with them, kissed them and developed an intimate relationship with one of them. 

Was there really any relationship at all? As those strangers kept wondering, they were asking questions to which she had no answers. No, she wasn’t lurking backstage; no, she didn’t know how he labeled himself, because she never cared to ask; and no, she had no idea what was going on between him and Jake.  

Pcheh. Their ‘intimate’ relationship…

What was it, if not a folly?

Everytime she found a new gray hair – which seemed much more frequent after what happened up on Koscielec – Agnieszka would ask herself what am I doing? And then she would continue doing that. There were plenty of other men willing to be with her if she only let them, and she had the freedom to do it if or when the opportunity presented itself, but she just couldn’t. She kept waiting for the phone calls and Google Meet rendezvous. 

One such face call was scheduled right for after the show. Agnieszka had to wait for Joshua to get back to the hotel, which would take a while, so she just lay back on the pillow and enjoyed the moment of peace, as well as the warmth of her soft comforter. The house was now half empty and eerily quiet during early hours. No one wanted an early breakfast at this time of year; the few adventurous hikers and alpinists who dared to conquer the icy trails mostly kept to themselves. A calm before the Christmas storm, one would say. 

Even the sounds of the waking town coming from the outside were strangely muffled by the falling snow. Minutes dragged, and boredom and restlessness started to set. Agnieszka tried to kill the time by watching other newly posted videos from the show that just ended. 

Eventually, she dozed off waiting… 

She was walking along the ridge that separated the northeastern valleys from the southwestern ones. It was a dangerous path between two seemingly different worlds, covered with frost and ice, forcing her to consider every step carefully. To her left, everything was sprinkled with white and with mist lurking at stony rims. To her right, where the hillside was blessed with more sunshine, the autumn still kept flaunting its fiery colours. The setting sun behind her back illuminated the landscape and enhanced the visible split of seasons. 

Agnieszka couldn’t tell how she got up there. Just a moment ago, she was safe in the warm bed, awaiting a new day, from which she now couldn’t remember anything. The only thing was certain – the winter was coming and once again, another sun-like light appeared on the eastern horizon, disrupting the age-old alternation of day and night and sending chills down her spine. 

She heard three voices calling her name simultaneously. 

Together, it created an unearthly sound… then suddenly, their voices turned to deafening ringtones…

Olalla

Veela

Neszka

Agnieszka needed to take a few seconds to find out where she was and what happened. With the sleepy haze still clouding her brain, she looked around to see that the sky outside turned to steely blue, making outlines of furniture in her bedroom already visible. The phone, which she still held in her hand, kept on buzzing.

Still feeling weird from the recurring and yet ever changing dream, she pressed the accept button, squinting at the oppressively bright screen. Sexy…

Joshua, on the other hand, was his usual flawless and charming self: freshly-showered, rosy-cheeked and with his short damp curls slicked back. “Oh, hello darl… did I wake you up? I thought you said you were going to…”

“Oh yeah, yeah, I was. I just fell back to sleep after the livestream ended, I guess. But I saw everything,” she responded groggily while rubbing her left eye, before she adjusted the pillow behind her so that she could sit. 

“Oh, cool. It was a hell of a show, wasn’t it.” He greeted her with his usual bright, toothy smile, but Joshua’s face was an open book and Agnieszka already knew that face she caught a glimpse of behind the smiley mask quite well – when she could read a lot of conflicting things in his eyes, all of them centering around uncertainty and self-doubt. A simple twitch of an eyebrow always gave him away. She knew how nervous he was; he had confided to her prior to the show.. It was the first US show since he got outed and his personal life became a tabloid shitshow. And while the band was indeed greeted with rapturous ovations and they did put on a ‘hell of a show’, the undercurrent of doubt on both sides ran deep and the fact that his own brother seemingly threw him under the bus right when he felt the most vulnerable didn’t help at all. 

False consolations were not her nature. “Joshua… when I said I saw everything, I really meant everything.”

He sighed and started rubbing the back of his neck. “Was it that obvious?”

“What? That something is obviously going on between the two of you? Yeah, I would say so. At least to everyone who’s familiar with your stage behaviour. It shouldn’t be a big deal, I suppose, but I saw your face, and so did everyone else. It was pretty clear you didn’t expect that. The people in the chat spent the next half an hour making assumptions. Some of them even mentioned the ‘dark haired stranger’ that allegedly drove a wedge between the two of you.” She added the last sentence for comedic effect; to lighten the mood a bit. However, it had the opposite effect and Joshua’s face turned to stone. 

“Well, you shouldn’t really worry about that.” He sounded strangled, and for the first time turned his gaze off the screen. 

“Are you ok, Joshua?” 

“Yeah! Yeah…totally fine,” he replied absentmindedly. “We’ve had a few disagreements, but it’s nothing serious. Promise. I, eh… I wish you were here, sweetheart… So, anyway, what did you think of that lill’ insertion after Danny’s drum solo, birthday girl?” he chuckled, trying to change the subject. 

“You mean ‘My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean’? Yeah, that was very subtle. Everyone thought so…” She didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in her voice, unable to comprehend how he could think that it was a good idea. Obviously, he didn’t share the sentiment. 

“Well, I did that on purpose. And since people already talk… Well, I just hoped you’d like it. So, how was your special day?” 

“Pretty uneventful, just like all the other days here.” As it always was. She stopped celebrating her birthdays a long time ago. Joshua was probably the only person on Earth who tried to make a big deal of the uninteresting fact that she was now thirty three. Well, him and Maya. “I went for a walk, I got a new backpack, I actually had a massage…that was nice and pleasant… and I got my IUD replaced… that was much less pleasant.”

“Well good to know!” He made another funny face and she had to laugh back. Most of her former lovers would be grossed out by the bold remark, but not him. He was just… different. 

For example, he couldn’t just sit still, which was in fact often pretty cool and entertaining during their face call as he always inadvertently gave her a tour of whatever place he was currently at. So, as he walked around, she could see glimpses of his suite. “Wow, that’s a fancy hotel room. Very different from the dingy attic one.” 

“And cold,” Joshua replied irritably. “It’s really the worst part of the deal, to be honest, and no amount of luxury could possibly change that. I’d give anything to be back in that snug attic room if it meant I could feel your soft skin again.” 

“Soft…”

“Yeah, like satin. Go on and touch it if you don’t believe me.” With that, he finally hopped on his bed and leaned his back against the headboard. He must have untied his bathrobe in the process, as she could see his bare chest now, knowing too well where this was going. They had tried a few times in the past and always ended up giggling. Yet he kept on trying. “Are you naked?”

“Hell no! It’s November. I’m wearing button-up pajamas.”

“Unbutton it then.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. His incessant attempts to coax her into having phone sex with him were always so… cute. “I think I’ll need a bit more convincing.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled harshly. Agnieszka couldn’t see his other hand, but she knew very well where it was. “I’m imagining your palms right now, so callous and coarse from all the hard and honest work, like the finest sandpaper…”

She was just getting comfy and he made her burst out laughing again. “You’re an idiot.” 

He chuckled with her. “All right, all right, let’s try again. I was serious about your skin. So soft and warm, and when my fingers travel further down… come on, travel with me… it feels like a velvety cushion, and it smells like honey and hay. Can you feel it too, baby?”

“Yes,” she moaned involuntarily. Hearing him talk about it like that really did create a good illusion. “I imagine your fingers. Say more, because I swear I can almost feel them”. 

He was breathing heavily now, which turned her on even more. He told her more about the things he’d do and she followed his directions, sliding her middle finger inside. “I wish I could touch your cock.”

“And I’d give anything to feel your lips around it right now…”

She bit her lip when the question popped up in her head. It wasn’t the first time, but she never mustered enough courage, until now. Still not sure if it was ok to ask that, she took a deep breath first. “Do you ever imagine a man doing it to you, Joshua? I mean, do you still…?”

He seemed unfazed, just a little annoyed. “Why are you asking me now?”

“I think it’s sexy,” she cooed. “Besides, if this is supposed to work, we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other.” Saying that, she felt a pang of guilt even before she finished the sentence. 

“Sexy, you say?” he asked huskily and she could hear the unmistakable sound of slapping flesh. Judging by the movement of his shoulder, it was more than apparent what he was doing. It made her heart beat wildly. If only she could be there with him…

“Yeah… you were always in control when we were together, hardly ever letting me take the lead, even when I wanted to. And I just wondered…because…” The sound of him clearing his throat interrupted her in mid-sentence. 

“It just felt natural. You’re so delicate, like baby deer…”

“No, I’m not…”

“Yes, you are, baby. Compared to most of my previous lovers, you are… You’re strong, but still a flower… I just…just can’t stop looking at you… So, erhhm, to answer your question -  yes, I do.” 

This was all strangely exciting. 

“Tell me more.” 

“Are you still touching yourself?”

She was. Because she didn’t lie. It made her slightly anxious, but the fact that the idea also turned her on couldn’t be denied. Also, learning to know his desires seemed like the best policy against the anxiety which was almost crippling at times, and today was no different.  Seeing him wrapped in satin, adored by hundreds of people, and not all of them women, made her feel like an onlooker, forced to remain in the distance. She didn’t want that.

And so he told her, with reluctance at first, but seeing that she didn’t stop and wanted more, he went on. Slowly, they guided each other towards their respective climaxes. Even though separated by thousands of miles, for a split second they felt closer to each other than before in the aftermath. 

“What time is it there right now?” he asked groggily after a while, when she could no longer hide her weariness and yawned expressively. 

“Almost eight thirty.”

“Can you perhaps go back to sleep for a while.”

“I guess so.” She had no real responsibilities until after lunch, so the idea of staying in bed for a while seemed quite agreeable. 

“I think you should, then. And I should try to get some sleep as well. See you soon, love.”

“Good night, Joshua.”

Agnieszka tried to follow his advice, but after a while, she grabbed her phone again, quite sure that a certain person wasn’t asleep just yet…

Jake

Jake in fact did try to go to bed early-ish this time. He also tried everything that was supposed to help him accomplish this special mission. He had a few drinks, a soothing shower, late night sex… and if that wasn’t enough, skin-to-skin cuddles were expected to do the trick. 

However, half an hour later, his mind was still racing, and it had nothing to do with the person now sleeping so peacefully right next to him. The person who – in fact – was also the one who had tried to persuade him that he should improve his sleeping habits. Women. So, instead of grabbing a guitar or a book, he was now lying in the darkness, watching city lights painting pictograms on the ceiling above him. He didn’t dare leave the bed, afraid that it would wake Lisa.  

Suddenly, his phone lightened up with a familiar notification. He kept most of them muted, so he knew immediately. And surely enough…

Veela: Care to explain what the hell happened?

Jake knew immediately what she meant, and it made him feel both pleased and angry with himself at the same time. What the hell happened, indeed. It wasn’t deliberate. It wasn’t out of spite. He just didn’t want to play the song. And he certainly didn’t want to sing it… with Josh, no less! For years, it had been ‘their’ song, and it didn’t mean anything else. They wrote it before Josh really started caring about the meaning of the lyrics he was writing. The stupid ditty suddenly got a brand new meaning and Jake just couldn’t stomach it. 

He certainly didn’t want to make people wonder, or to make her angry… or maybe he did? Either way, there was no way out. 

He quickly scrambled out of bed – afraid that he would wake Lisa – and took the phone with him to the bathroom where he sat on a closed toilet seat, feeling sneaky. 

Kuba Starlight: “I just wasn’t in the mood for singing, thats all. No big deal.” 

The response was immediate. 

Veela: Is that the only reason?

His thumbs hovered above the keypad for several seconds before he finally typed a brief answer.

Kuba Starlight: Yes. 

He watched the three dots moving while rubbing his chin, anxiously awaiting her next jab. It took her a while, leaving him wondering what kind of indictment she was drafting. 

Veela: Because I just talked to him and it didn’t seem like a “no big deal” to him. And people noticed too. It’s no.1 gossip right now. I’m slightly jealous. You’re trying to steal my spotlight, no doubt. :p

The last remark made him smile. Perhaps she wasn’t that angry after all. 

And so am I, he thought. Wonder how you did it. 

Kuba Starlight: People will always talk. One day I forget to comb my hair and the next day they start a rumor that I’m a depressed drunk.

Kuba Starlight: Josh is quite oversensitive these days. 

He expected her to continue pestering him about the stupid ‘stage incident’, but she switched back to her caring and understanding (and nosy) self instead. 

Kuba Starlight: In fact, I have. 

Veela: You shouldn’t blame him. 

Veela: I know you were worried about the show too. Maybe you two should just… talk?

Veela: What about my previous suggestion? The room is still available. 

Veela: I just really don’t think you should spend Christmas alone. Unless you’ve found someone to spend it with…

He couldn’t even tell why answering truthfully suddenly made him feel so irritable. Perhaps because he wasn’t really truthful. 

Kuba Starlight: Nothing serious. Just a casual acquaintance. 

Veela: OK. That’s good news. 

Is it?! He watched – all hopeful – as the three dots appeared again. 

Veela: It might get serious eventually. You never know. :)

That only made him feel worse. And there were no more dots after that. Obviously, she dropped the subject, which in turn made his stomach drop. It was always like that, with him being torn between ‘honey, don’t feed me’ and ‘why aren’t you talking to me?’ She was convinced they were friends – bless her heart… and damn his. He kept feeding her this idea only to keep in contact with her, knowing too well it was both self-destructive and toxic. 

He shouldn’t want her to keep persuading him; he in fact shouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place, but that wretched creature inside his head always prevailed. The truth was that he had considered her suggestion – his heart even skipped a beat when she first mentioned it as a possibility  – and the wretched creature wanted him to say yes. 

It was right after right after Josh casually informed her that their parents were taking a long-desired trip during Christmas, and she immediately thought about him being left alone, bless her big heart. 

So yes, he wanted to say yes, it just wasn’t justifiable up until recently. Now he had a perfect excuse, so he quickly started typing another message. 

He re-read the blabbery he just sent and groaned again, loudly this time. Not only because he didn’t really think it through yet, it was still just a vague idea. But also because of all those typos he always made when he was in a rush. 

Kuba Starlight: But she asked me if we could go sking, so maybe we could come together.

Kuba Starlight: You know… to keep an eye on him. 

Kuba Starlight: Not that I don’t trust you… but, you know…

Kuba Starlight: But don’t worry about our stay. I’ll find us something else. Somthing with jacuzzi and champange. 

And she never commented on it. She never judged him. 

Veela: :D

Veela: Oukey then! I’ll be happy to see you again. And to meet your new girl. 

December 18th 2025, Nashville; Josh

They made it. The first part of the tour successfully completed, Christmas was finally here and the atmosphere in the city already satiated with the holiday mood. Just a few more days… and then he would see her again. 

There was one last thing that Josh desperately needed to do, and so far it had prevented him from being able to join and enjoy the festivities. He had been sitting in their favorite cafeteria for more than an hour now, more and more convinced that he had been stood up. The idea weighed like a huge stone on his chest and it grew heavier with each passing minute. 

But at last, he appeared. Effortlessly charismatic as always. Lean and tall, with his hair neatly braided this time. He spotted Josh immediately, but remained standing by the door for a few excruciatingly long seconds before he finally made his way towards Josh’s table. 

Josh stood up and made one hesitant step forward, but Christopher quickly stopped him with his outstretched palm. A simple gesture that felt like having a bucketful of icy water tipped over his head. 

Josh knew that it was absolutely foolish to hope for a hug, but after all those years, it was just like a conditioned reflex. He had spent so much time hugging that man that it seemed unnatural not to do it, even under the current circumstances… “Please, at least sit.” He sounded defeated.

Christopher took the chair opposite to Josh and leaned back with his arms crossed. It wasn’t going to be easy, that was certain. “Ok, spill. What do you want?”

“I… the idea that I’d never see you again was just unbearable…I mean…”

Christopher cocked his brow exasperatedly. “Spare me.”

Josh started to panic. It was so hard to tame the thoughts in his head so that he could transform them into a coherent sentence. Christopher was well aware, but also unwilling to make it any easier for him. Josh had spent hours looking into those eyes. Somewhere behind them, there used to be a place that felt like home. Now he could clearly see that he was no longer welcome there. So, instead of trespassing, he lowered his eyes and opted to tell it to the coffee cup. “No… I mean, without, eh, I cou..couldn’t stand not to see you again and…and not to tell you how sorry I am.” 

A few more excruciating seconds passed before he dared to look up again. Christopher was rubbing his lower lip with the tips of his fingers – something he always did when he was searching for the right words. The silence made Josh’s chest tighten.

“I gave you quite a lot of freedom,” Christopher said at last. 

“I know…”

“And you said you’d never do anything that would hurt me. And I trusted you.”

“I know…”

“And you betrayed that trust… twice!”

“We were no longer together when I… I didn’t expect you to…”  The sound of Christopher’s palm slapping the wooden desk right in front of Josh made him jump. 

“YOU TOLD ME…” Christopher raised his voice menacingly, but quickly tried to calm himself down when he saw Josh’s startled stare. They were in public, after all. He knew the rules, and it affected him too now. So, he took a deep breath before he continued: “You told me that it was not even a possibility, so naturally, I feel like everything you EVER said was a lie.”

“I didn’t lie. I…I didn’t know it was a possibility, Taffy,” Josh’s voice faltered. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to fight off the stinging sensation, but it was no use. He was crying. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed. They sat silent for several seconds; thankfully, it was enough for Josh to pull himself together and Christopher mercifully granted him that luxury. 

“The thing that happened with David…,” Josh cleared his throat and continued, fully determined to say everything he wanted to: “I know no apology could even make it right. The worst thing is that it really meant nothing. I feel like I’ve lost control of my life even since, which…I guess…I fully deserve. Like a drunken boat. You remember the poem? And now she… she’s both the anchor and the sea. And it happened so fast. I… when you came to the hospital  with mom and Jake, I felt like being stuck between two cogwheels. But the thing I said, it hasn’t changed. I never stopped loving you.” 

Josh so desperately wanted him to understand it. Even if he would never see him again, even though he knew Christopher didn’t want to accept it, Josh just needed him to understand that some people are like tattoos, and there’s always enough space for more than one. Sweet Olalla understood…

Christopher slowly leaned forward and, with his elbows now on the table, he put his hand together and started rubbing his lip against the fingertips once more. Josh waited patiently. Whatever the outcome, at least he knew Taffy was giving it a thought. 

“How’s your head? Are you well?” he finally said. 

Josh looked at him in confusion. Did Christopher think he’d gone mental? “I…yeah, it’s healed pretty nicely. I still have headaches sometimes, but… why?” 

Christopher took a deep breath. “Because I’ve been fucking worried, jerk!”

December 22nd, Zakopane; Agnieszka

Just like the last time, she was restless since the early morning. But unlike the last time, she didn’t spend hours waiting in the freezing cold. Also, no separate room for him this time. Joshua was just going to stay with her. Eulalia was basically home to him now. 

Jake and his girl rented a private chalet on the opposite hill, right next the main ski slope. He was supposed to drop Joshua around five and then they’d all meet in town for dinner later. That was the plan. 

It was already half past five when the bell above the main door finally chimed and a familiar figure stepped inside. She quickly jumped out of her seat behind the reception desk and ran right into his arms, nearly knocking him off. 

“Ugh, sweet girl, easy!” he chuckled, hugging her back. He buried his face in her hair and stayed that way for several seconds, which wasn’t strange at all. However, she soon began to wonder about how silent he was… that was definitely strange. 

Breaking the embrace at last, she was finally able to take a good look at him… and froze. 

There was a nasty bruise on the left side of his chin, and his lower lip was split and swollen, making him look like he had been in a fist fight. 

“Joshua, what the hell happened?”

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96   @gvfstuddedmajesty @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @tripthelightfantastix @sanguinebats @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @kiszkas-canvas @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @hollyco @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @dayumclarizzel @lipstickitty @clownstarr @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @blankvz @psychedelectable

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Twenty-Four

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: Wholesome Vibes, Fluff, Happy Tears, Mild Anxious Themes, LINDA AND ELEANOR ARE BACK (our queens), Tension, Mentions of Snow, Parental advice, some pirate/ocean references, and a LOT of hugs. (I think the hugs will really be beneficial for all of us)

Word Count: 5.5k

Summary: It's the bar's anniversary night and there's a slight chill in the air.

Author's Note: Did I cry over this chapter? Possibly ❤️. But for very different reason than last weeks. I really am in disbelief that next week is.. it. Let's all just savor this chapter together and celebrate with our sweet little pirate man 🥂 (I'm ready to scream about it with you guys 🥹)

Caravel - Greta Van Fleet "Sail to the end of the world, For death or glory."

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The Anniversary Party  - 7:15 p.m. 

Pull it together, I think to myself, wiping the tears that were trying to make their escape. I decided that spending the drive in my thoughts sounded better than trying to drown them out with music, which is how I spent most of my day fighting the urge to cry and losing. 

If I thought the idea of just having to tell him that I had to go back home was terrible, watching him cry is probably in the top three worst moments of my life. Seeing the way his eyes looked when I told him that his comment was wrong, I could feel that he regretted it. I can’t even be mad at him when I know he didn’t mean it. Listening to him sob and cry to me that he was sorry broke my heart; I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything at the moment.

Once I got home, even though I was emotionally exhausted, I couldn’t sleep. I could just hear him in my head on a loop, practically begging me to stay. I can’t believe I left. I knew I wouldn’t say anything about my work situation if I stayed, so I didn’t. And now, I regret it. I should have stayed and told him everything. 

I spent a lot of the night just wishing I hadn’t given him attitude because it wasn’t fair to him. I had been working most of the day and finally had someone call me back that I’d been waiting on, but they were upset with the message I had for them. So, I was on the receiving end of one of the angry bar owners, unlike Jacob, when I walked into the bar, and I still didn’t know what made me take that out on him. 

I would take it back in a second if I could. 

Now I’m sitting in my car, parked in my usual spot down the street from the bar, debating heavily on what I should do. I never actually packed anything because I would start crying every time I tried. It’s not even been a full day since we saw each other, and I’m terrified to walk in there. 

I don’t want to have that conversation tonight; I can’t ruin the anniversary party more than I possibly already have. Maybe depending on how he acts, I’ll mention something after Thanksgiving. Then it came back to me; I told him I would text him all day tomorrow… oh god– what have I done? 

I look up at the sky; the moon is faint in the distance, but she’s there. 

“Cass, I did this for you,” I whisper. “I wish you could tell me if it was going to work out or if I royally messed up.” Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I shut off my car. When I step out, a breeze washes over me, the type of cold where you know snow is coming. Making sure I have all his paperwork and my bag, I start my walk over to the bar. 

I really could just go home. 

I know the address.. I could just mail this.

I don’t think I can do it. 

I don’t know what possessed me to look back up, but I did, and the cloud that had been blocking the moon moved. The light from it felt different this time, and a smirk laced my lips as I looked at it. 

I’m taking that as my sign, Cass. I hear you.

As I get closer, I see the number of cars parked along the street and vaguely see through the bar windows. There’s a lot of people here for it being a Wednesday. Good job, Jacob.  

7:36 p.m. 

The door chime goes off, but enough people are talking, and the music is still loud, so there’s no chance anybody heard it. I scan the bar, looking for him, just hand him the paperwork and then leave. You can try to talk to him over the weekend and maybe work something out or at least make sure he doesn’t hate you. I try to pep talk myself. 

Not seeing him anywhere, I start to wander around, kind of hoping not to run into anybody, which is a bold choice right now. I bump into someone while trying to find him, and she turns around quickly. 

“Oh! I’m sorry, honey, didn’t see you there!” Her voice is loud but sweet. “You look lost– what do you need?” She gently holds my arm as she asks. 

“Uh- I need to find Jake. I don’t see him, though,” I tell her. Why do I feel like I should know who she is?

Her eyes widen at the sound of his name, but her expression softens when she tells me, “He’s in there somewhere! I thought I saw him run outback a minute ago.” 

“Oh, okay. Thank you. I’ll just hang out for a few then,” I shoot her a small smile. 

She smiles back at me; her smile feels familiar. She quietly says, “If I run into him, I can let him know you’re here. What’s your name?” 

I hesitate for a second, “Oh, um, Charlotte.” 

“Pretty,” she lets out. “I’ll try to grab him for ya.” 

Not even a minute passes, and I see him come down the hallway, but he definitely can’t see me. He looks so good, too. I linger behind people to avoid making eye contact as my heart rate starts to pick up. You can do it. I watch him from a distance; he’s behind the bar, handing someone a drink. That smile, but his eyes look tired. The way he moves captivates me; it feels like I’m seeing him for the first time all over again.  

He’s just pouring a beer for someone, but even something so mundane makes the butterflies erupt in my stomach. When he slides it over to the customer, his shirt falls open more and shows off his chest, and his necklace dangles, making my body warm because I’ve felt that necklace graze my skin before. Good god, why does he just look like this? 

All I can see in my mind is how gorgeous he is, especially when we were holed up together. He would put together his cute little outfits when we did things. The way he would walk around in his short and tight little boxers, leaving no room for imagination, was fine with me. 

His smile was still my favorite, whether it was just the little grin as he held back some pirate phrase, knowing I’d laugh at how dumb he was. Or when he fully smiles.. that boy is so beautiful. I could probably write a dissertation on how much I love that smile. I love a lot of things about him. His smile, the way he’s always touching me somehow, that silly English accent..maybe I-

Suddenly, I hear a clinking sound that multiplied rapidly, pulling me from my thoughts. Glancing around, I see everyone sitting in the booth they always choose when they’re all together. They all are holding their glasses up, tapping whatever they can against them to get everyone’s attention. 

Josh holds his glass up behind the bar, pulling Jake into his side. Jake’s face is completely red as he looks down, with a slight smile on his face. 

“I feel like everyone here should already know, but my brother is the owner of this fine establishment,” Josh starts, “And I just want to say how proud I am of him for taking the chance and managing to stay open for the past year,” He leans over, kissing the side of Jake’s head, and I see him mumble something to him while everyone claps for him. 

“Now, I know you really want to hear from the man of the hour, so,” Josh lets out,  and I watch Jake shake his head a few times, but everyone gets real quiet. We all collectively just stared at him, waiting to see what he would say, and all I could think was, ‘I’ll even hold your hand if you get nervous,’ when he actually starts to speak. 

“Um, I wasn’t really prepared to say anything, but,” he starts. “I never thought this would actually happen, um.. especially to me.” I watch as he fidgets with the ring he has on. You can do this, Jake.

 “I don’t know that I could have done it without my family basically throwing me overboard into the idea. It was a for death or glory moment for me, and—“ he pauses, looking up at everyone just admiring him. “I’m truly just so happy to be here now.” 

His eyes scan the room, and my heart drops when he meets my stare; blinking slowly, it feels like time has stopped, and all I can do is smile at him. I watch a slight smirk grow on his face when he says, “I couldn’t have done it without you. I’m endlessly grateful for everyone keeping me afloat. It’s only been a year, so—“ he grabs the glass next to him, holding it up, “Too many more.” 

The way everyone cheered and started clinking glasses had my eyes welled up. His brothers, Danny included, pulled him into hugs, which only naturally meant the girls and Quinn were next. I just watch him as he beams at everyone who walks up to him and gets all the praise he deserves. But his eyes kept wandering back to me. 

I’m so proud of you, baby. 

8:03 p.m.

Those green eyes– are all I can think about as I stand there. 

My heart about stopped when I saw her. I never would have expected her to show up after last night. But the second we locked eyes again, I felt less nervous. Maybe it was just the simple fact she showed up or the way I could see her trying to hide a tear as she smiled back at me. 

Finishing my weird toast while looking at her was the closest I was going to get to her holding my hand tonight, and that’s okay. Immediately, Josh pulled me into a hug after rocking me back and forth. 

“She’s here,” he whispers into my ear, almost like he’s trying to protect me.  

I turn my face to whisper back, “I know.” 

He leans back from the hug, looking at me, “You can do this,” he says, squeezing my shoulders a few times. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“Thank you,” is all I can manage to say back to him. 

Once I walk out from behind the bar, I’m practically mauled by the rest of them. I don’t think I’ve hugged so many people back-to-back like that before. Listening to a slew of ‘Proud of you! and ‘Happy anniversary! as they take their turn pulling me into them. 

Getting to Quinn, who quietly asks, “Are you going to talk to her?” 

“I mean,” I whisper back, “I’ll see what she says first.. I’m not going to push too hard today.” 

They nod, leaning back from the hug, “You’ll get her, I promise.” Offering me a smile, which I quickly return. 

“Love you,” I whisper, pulling them back into the hug for a second. 

They just mumble back, “Love you too.” Giving me an extra tight squeeze before letting go. 

I started to walk towards her, but my dad stepped in front of me first. He holds out his arms, inviting me for a hug, like everyone else has so far. 

“Proud of you, kid,” he mumbles next to my ear. 

I rest my head against him for a second before moving back, looking at him, and quietly letting out, “Thank you.”  

“I think someone is waiting to talk to you,” his voice is low, nodding towards Charlotte. His hand grabs my shoulder, squeezing a few times, and then quietly says, “Go get her.” 

When I go to walk over to her, I finally see her, and even though I’ve seen her in all forms the last couple of weeks, she always leaves me breathless. I could stare at her for the rest of my life and still not understand how she can be so effortlessly beautiful. 

“Hey, you,” I say as I get closer to her. “I didn’t know if you’d still be here tonight.” 

“Well, I do have these for you,” Her voice is soft. She holds out a folder filled with paperwork. “Everything is good to go, and Melody is certified.” 

“Thank you,” I say quietly. 

She meets my stare and quietly lets out, “Of course.” A soft smile laces her lips as we look at each other, which only makes the corners of mine twitch. I stepped a little closer to her, but she didn’t back up. 

“Um, I know it’s already kinda late,” I start, knowing I sound nervous but still asking, “Are you staying for a bit, or do you need to go?” 

She uncomfortably says, “I should probably head out.. I have a lot of driving ahead of me.” 

“No, that makes sense,”  I say, looking around for somewhere to set the folder down. “I’ll um..” Turning around, I see my dad, waving him over subtly. 

I tell him quietly, “Hey, I’m gonna walk her to her car. Can you hold this?” He just nods at me, glancing over to Char. 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” she rambles out, her hand landing on my arm, and my heart drops at the contact. Instinctually,  I cover her hand with mine when I turn back to her. 

“I’ve walked you to your car for three weeks; you really think I’m gonna stop now?” I tell her, which makes her laugh. 

“You know what,” she giggles quietly. “You’re right.” I set my drink on a random table, knowing it’ll be lost in the sea of glasses now, but who cares?

Pushing open the door and gesturing for her to go out first, “After you.” 

The walk to her car is quiet, neither of us really knowing what to say until she finally breaks it, “She looks nice tonight.” 

Looking over at her as she looks at the moon, making me smile despite the heartache, “She does.” 

“Your little toast was nice, by the way,” she says quietly, glancing over at me.  

Looking down at the sidewalk for a second, “I wasn’t ready for that, and as you can imagine, I'm not much of a public speaker.” She laughs at me; my heart starts to race. 

“Well,” she starts, as we make it to her car, “I thought you did a great job.” 

I slowly blink at her, “Thank you.” 

We stare at each other silently for a moment. I would give anything to just pretend that nothing happened and that everything is still how it was yesterday morning.  

“I won’t keep you, it’s freezing.” I lean forward, pulling her door open for her like I always do. She looks at me for a second and then steps closer, wrapping her arms around me. I’ve never let go of her car door faster as I pull her in tight; please don’t let this be the last time. My hand runs down the back of her head, just cherishing the hug while it lasts. Breathing her in slowly, trying to engrave the scent of her perfume into my brain. Turning my face and letting my lips rest against the side of her head, unable to resist the urge just to press one small kiss into her hair. One more. 

Once she starts to let go, I loosen my grip, letting her decide when she’s done. My hands run down the back of her arms as she pulls back until her hands land in mine. We just stare at each other for a second when she squeezes so slightly, and I return the gesture before letting go. I open her door again,  and she sits in her driver's seat, looking back up at me.

“Drive safe, Red.” 

She stares at me for a second and then quietly lets out, ”Will do, Captain.”

I swallow hard at the pet name she chose, but I can’t stop the smile from creeping in. Shutting her door gently, I can’t decide if that made me feel better or worse. 

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8:40p.m

 My mom met me at the door, “So, that was her, right?” 

“Mhm,” I quickly respond, not sure of how far she’s going with this. I don’t know how much I can even talk about right now. 

“She’s beautiful,” she tells me, a little inquisitive inflection laced in it. 

I nod quietly, “She’s incredible.”  

“You really love her, don’t you?”

“I feel insane, but I swear I’d do anything to keep her.” 

“Oh, sweetheart,” she says, grabbing my shoulders. “She’ll come back. I saw how she looked at you.” She runs her hand down the back of my head before tucking my hair behind my ear as she looks at me. “Her eyes lit up the moment she saw you. There was no denying it.”

I glance over to the door and then back down, “I just hope you’re right.” 

“Hey,” she practically scolds me, “If she loves you, she’ll come home, alright?” She gently taps my chest a few times. “And if I know anything about you, there’s no reason she wouldn’t come back to you.” Her hand held the side of my face. She brushed her thumbs over my cheekbones a few times, forcing me to look at her. She just quietly coos, “Oh, my sweet little boy.” 

My throat hurts as I choke back the emotions threatening to come up. I’m gonna cry if she keeps talking. My arms instinctually pull her in for a hug, tucking my face into her shoulder and letting out a deep breath. She rubs my back for a second before I finally mumble out, “I love you, mum.” 

“I love you too,” she tells me, pulling back from the hug enough to look at me. “Now, go enjoy your night, babe. You earned it.”

I just smile at her for a second and then mumble, “Thank you.” 

She pulls my face in, kissing my cheek a few times, and then looks at me with watery eyes, whispering, “I’m so proud of you.” 

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Once I went back to talking to everyone, I started to relax a bit. Taking my mind off the inevitable questions that would come up tomorrow. It was nice to have time just to see all the regulars who had been coming in since we opened. 

I find myself sitting with two of my favorite people for a while, Linda and Eleanor. Listening to them tell me about what their Thanksgiving plans are– which is honestly very sweet. 

“Well, we are both single old broads, so I told Miss Ellie just to come join me, and we could watch the parade together and make some food,” Linda tells me. “Figured it’s better than us sitting at home alone!” 

Eleanor giggled before letting out a quiet, “Absolutely is.” 

“I’m glad you two will be spending the day together,” I tell them. “Are you seeing family at all?”

They go on to tell me about how they either just spend Christmas with their families or sometimes people will come to them, but it just depends on the year and how they’re feeling. 

“What are you boys doing for the holiday?” Eleanor asks. 

I sighed, “Well, my parents are up, obviously. So, we’ll all pile into their Airbnb tomorrow morning, and my mom will spend the whole day making food and forcing us to eat until we’re about to throw up.” Laughing a little at the thought because it’s the truth. 

“I’m sure it’s a wonderful time,” Eleanor says. “Your family seems fun to be around.”

I glance around after she makes the comment. Seeing my brothers laughing together in their typical booth. Sam’s arm draped around Willa, keeping her close like he’s worried she’ll try to escape. I love that he’s found someone like her, even if it is weird to see him so protective over someone. 

Moving my eyes over to Danny, shaking his head at whatever nonsense Sam must have spewed. Mel tucked into him like she always has, but fully engulfed in conversation with Quinn. Oh, Quinn.   

The wonderful person who has my best friend and twin brother wrapped around their finger. I knew that when Josh found someone, they would fit him perfectly because he is such a special person, and there was no way that he could just find an ordinary human to be his partner. After spending as much time as I have with Quinn, I couldn’t imagine someone better. 

The way that Mel and Josh take turns lingering near the table so they can all hang out throughout the night because not only are they all best friends, but we’re all practically family at this point. 

I look back to Eleanor with a soft smile, “They really are.” 

I spent a little longer hanging out with them before deciding to take over the bar for a while. Both of them hugged and congratulated me on the anniversary before I walked off to relieve the other two. 

Sometimes, it was nice to be behind the bar alone, just talking with whoever was sitting up there and making drinks. It made the time pass quickly, and I didn’t have time to think about much else, especially on nights like tonight when the bar was full. The only thing missing was her. 

Having her sit at the end of the bar for the last few weeks for hours, just giving me shit about my job or making little comments that would drive me mad until I could finally close the bar and whisk her away to my bedroom. Spending our nights teasing each other while I served people and trained Melody, I always felt like it was torture because I just wanted to clock out so badly. Now, it feels odd that she isn’t here. 

How she looked at me while we stood there, her lightly squeezing my hands like I’ve done to her so many times in the last couple of weeks. Just to let her know I was there. I feel like it should make me feel more confident about her, but I’m afraid to get my hopes too high, even if it’s probably too late for that.  

When Josh and Mel make their way back to the bar, I let  Josh know that I’m going to step out for a minute. I quietly slide into my office, grabbing my lighter and cigarettes from my desk drawer and hiding them in my pocket before wandering out the back door. 

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10:00 p.m.

It smells like snow. The air is a different type of cold; you can smell winter around the corner. I lit my cigarette, took that first drag, and pulled my phone out. 

She should be home by now, looking at the time and then hesitating to say something to her. I stare out at the docks, watching the boats gently rock. Remembering the moment that she leaned in first, how relieved I was that it wasn’t just me wanting that. Her smile when I went back in for another kiss as if she thought I wouldn’t want that. My heart aches at the thought. I should just .. send her something.

We spent almost a month in this weird situation, and it feels wrong to go radio silent. Maybe Mom is right. 

I start typing away, deleting the message, and starting over probably twenty times, not knowing what to say but just wanting to say anything to keep her in my life potentially. Even if she’s not mine. 

I finally hit send when it doesn’t feel too insane, but my body flinches when I feel someone’s hand on my shoulder. 

“I had a feeling I’d find you out here,” my dad quietly tells me. “You okay?”

I nod, “Mhm, I just needed a break from the noise.” 

“Between your mother and both of your brothers, can’t say I blame you,” he laughs. “I know that isn’t the entire reason, and you don’t have to say it.” 

I let out a deep sigh before inhaling more smoke into my lungs to try and stop the sad from coming back. 

“I just texted her. Hoping that she at least will keep talking to me if anything.” I tell him, feeling a bit pathetic. 

He stares at me for a second, “She really got you good, huh?”

“She’s perfect, dad. How was I supposed to not fall for her?” I almost laugh at it, taking one last drag from the cigarette that is threatening to burn me at this point. Squishing the lit end into the railing before turning to walk back to the bar. “Did I make a bad choice doing that or..?” 

“Your mom is much better in these situations, but,” he starts as we slowly walk back. “I think you saw a beautiful girl and took your chance. I’m positive if I were in the same situation with your mom back then, I would have done the same thing.” 

“I knew I was fucked from the day I met her, y’know?” I say. “I couldn’t stop thinking about her after that.” I just watch the ground as we walk, getting closer to the bar. 

His arm wraps around my shoulders, pulling me into his side as I’m about to pull open the back door for the bar. 

“She’ll come back, bud,” he says. “I saw how she looked at you.. I know that look.”  I lean my head against him for a second before he pulls my shoulders away from him and turns me towards him.

 “Please make sure you wash your hands and drink something, and I won’t tell your mother that you still smoke. I’ll never hear the end of it.” We both laugh at the fact she would absolutely make it his problem.  

“Will do,” I laugh out. “Um.. thank you.” I stare at him, fighting the emotions that want to come out, which, after the last twenty-four hours, is getting more difficult. 

He breathes out a typical dad sigh, a slight smile on his face, before he wraps me up in another hug, “Of course. Just wanna see you happy, kid.”

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The bar is closing early tonight because of the holiday, and truthfully, I’m a bit relieved that I don’t have to sit here until two in the morning.  Mostly, everyone had left, and there were just a few stragglers to take care of during the last hour of the night. Just trying to focus on the fact I’ll get to hang out with my family tomorrow and how nice it’ll be to just spend time with them. Even if I want nothing more than to bring her with me. 

11:00 p.m.

Once everything is basically cleaned up, I sneak out front. Something about being outside helped clear my head, even if it was brief. 

How she looked at me before she left makes my heart skip a beat when I think about it. Maybe she isn’t completely done here. It took all my strength not to kiss her again, but I didn’t want to overstep after last night.

If I can at least keep talking to her, maybe we can make things happen because there’s no chance she wasn’t at least kind of interested. Recounting all the times, she would just look at me from a distance, which I’m sure she didn’t think I would notice. But her stare is a hard one to ignore. 

My mind drifts off to all the moments that I should have realized I was falling in love with her. I don’t know who I was kidding thinking I could survive just being friends with benefits.  

Hearing her cry on the other end of the phone the day after I held her in my office, I never walked out of the bar so fast. She sounded so panicked that I would have gone to her if I had known where she was. But the moment I got her to laugh, my heart felt different. 

Walking into my room and seeing her standing there defeated and drunk, fighting with the zipper on her pants, I know I laughed at her, but she was so cute. And then her in my sweatshirt with her bare legs staring back at me once I got the zipper apart for her. Leaving a kiss on my cheek before I left the room, my heart raced for so long after that. 

The night after we kissed, walking her to her car, she was absolutely terrified that she wouldn’t seem into it. Then she looked at me, leaning against my chest, and let out a quiet, “Jacob.” I knew I needed to kiss her again at that moment. The way she grabbed at my shirt when I did tells me that she was craving it, too. 

When she thought I was fully asleep on the couch, she slipped up and called me ‘baby.’ She just wanted to make sure I was comfortable, but if she only knew that having her curled up to me was enough. Feeling her tuck herself back into me, playing with my necklace as I drifted back to sleep, I could have stayed there forever. 

The entire day we spent in Salem. The fact she wanted me to be present with her, calling me ‘babe’ in public, how she kept holding my hand all day. She was always so shy when I would pay for things, but I wanted nothing more than for her to have a good day and try to make up for the fact that her tradition was disrupted. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the way she looked at me when we took pictures. Seeing it after, it’s written all over my face, even if I didn’t realize it in the moment. 

I’ll never know what possessed me to sing to her in that bar, but the smile on her face was worth it. Swaying around with her, her little giggles as I spun her away from me but quickly pulled her back in. All that I could see in my head was me twirling her around in a white dress someday. And god, she looked beautiful. 

The door creaks as it opens, bringing me back to earth. 

“Enjoying the cold?” Josh asks, walking over. 

I breathe out, “I guess.”

“Well, I’m going to head up,” He says, grabbing my shoulder. “It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.” 

“Yeah— I don’t know how ready I am,” I let out before telling him, “You can leave it unlocked. I’ll be up in a few.”

He pulls me into a hug, “Love you, don’t stay out here too long; it’s already getting late.” 

“Love you too.” 

He looks back at me before slipping inside, with a slight grin on his face, and says, “Just let me know if she shows back up.” 

I smile, giving him a slow nod, “Will do.” 

Something about the air tonight and the pep talks from both of my parents convinced me to stay out here for a little bit longer before going upstairs. Doing the mental gymnastics to make sure I don’t get my hopes too high. I slide my phone from my pocket, seeing that it’s only 11:35 p.m. I go to open my texts and it’s still on hers. 

Read at 11:02 p.m. 

Maybe she just got to her parents and that’s why she didn’t reply yet. 

I stare at my lock screen, a photo I snuck of her in Salem. She was so beautiful and happy. It’s mostly the back of her head as we were walking down the street, but she had glanced over as I took it so you can vaguely see her side profile. I don’t think she’s noticed that I did it, but if anything happens this weekend, I’ll change it. But for now, I’ll just keep her there. 

The streets are dimly lit and quiet now that everyone has gone home; I watch as a few snowflakes start to fall. I suck in a deep breath, letting it slowly leave my body, trying to release some of the anxiety, but the only thing I can do is look up at the moon and think, please come home, Charlotte. 

Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I stare down at my shoes for a moment, and then I hear footsteps. I let out a little breath before I looked over, biting the inside of my lip. 

“Hi.”

“Hey, you.” 

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Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Five

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[littlemisslipbalm]

August, honey, you were mine

Josh Kiszka x Fem!reader - Enemies to Lovers College!AU

When originally deciding to be a film and visual arts student, Y/N had thought her biggest issue would be getting a job after college. She hadn’t known that the other people in her major would actually be her greatest obstacle to completing her degree.

So this photo is insane and likely not accurate to the time that this would be set. However, IDC and he looks beautiful.

Separately, here is my College!AU Enemies to Lovers Josh fic... I started working on this over a year ago and really it's silly because I lost the feeling that I wanted him to be mean so maybe it loses steam, idk let me know what yall think pls and reblogs appreciated - lots of love xoxo etc. more to come.

Summary: Forced together by fate or maybe just scheduling, Josh and Y/N can't stand being in the same room together. Unfortunately, with classes and her shifts at the Lover's Inn, it seems that Josh is in her life more than ever. Can hate turn into love or has something been there since the beginning?

Word Count: 13 k | Warnings: swearing, drinking, enemies to lovers, nauseating fluff, SMUT 18+ (specifics below the cut)

oral (male receiving), fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, edging, mild? dirty talk, female masturbation, i think that's it!

-

When originally deciding to be a film and visual arts student, Y/N had thought her biggest issue would be getting a job after college. She hadn’t known that the other people in her major would actually be her greatest obstacle to completing her degree.

It wasn’t that everyone was annoying. Sure, film students could be a lot, especially for Y/N when she was planning on going into costuming and styling rather than other production aspects. There were just a few overzealous students who seemed to get under her skin more than others. 

Namely, Josh M. Kiszka. He was talented in many respects, begrudgingly she would admit that. However, his annoyances and shortcomings outweighed his talents tenfold. One spark of genius would cause ten pitfalls and plot holes, leaving a forest fire of destruction in his wake. 

His curly hair was disturbingly trimmed leaving a small rat tail at the nape of his neck for the majority of the time she had known him –at the beginning of this year he had finally cut it and seemed to be trying to grow it out but she didn’t care. He was absurd and even disturbing at times. His smile took up too much of his face when he grinned maniacally. And she could go on. 

Now, being in the same major as someone could be irritating at times, but in reality sharing one to two classes a semester shouldn’t be the end of the world. Sometimes it certainly felt like it with Josh since it seemed like he turned everything up to an 11 on purpose. A bursting zipper was a catastrophe, the wrong colored shirt was the work of the devil. But realistically, she only should’ve seen him at most eight hours out of her week – if she could avoid being paired with him for any group projects. She could do eight hours of him droning on about the intricacies of a film and chattering away about his new big idea. 

What she couldn’t do was essentially work for him. And she didn’t work for him. At all. But he certainly seemed to think so every Thursday night. 

The first time Josh Kiszka walked into the green room at Lover’s Inn, the college town's local venue made for serious music and serious drinking, while Y/N was working, she thought it was some sick joke. She chalked it up to the fact that her karma must be god awful and this was her cosmic punishment. 

She had worked there for two years before this, consistently doing backstage work happily for the experience of potentially helping musicians with costuming and styling if they ever took her up on her offer. Mostly, her job consisted of fulfilling riders and babysitting. 

On this fated Thursday, it was raining as the fading summer quickly turned into a blustery fall. The trees faded quickly, changing just as fast as they had blossomed. The biting cold of the rain had soaked her hair so when she burst through the stage right door, a spray of rain flew from her head as she gasped in the warm room temperature air. 

First rain made people drive terribly, making her later than she would’ve liked to set up the things requested by the band tonight. She was slightly bummed that because she was rushing, she might not have a chance to offer her assistance with styling of the new band, but she thought she’d just ask to help them out at a later date since her manager had told her that if they played well tonight they were going to get the recurring Thursday night spot. 

Greta Van Fleet was their name, which she thought was cool, but given their rider, she had a funny feeling that they were probably like most local Michigan bands, mediocre at best, creeps at worst. 

The two cases of beers as well as some strange hippie bullshit snacks gave her the inkling of what to expect. 

The moment she hears her name from a particular voice, a pit of dread opens up in her stomach. She didn’t know exactly why he was here but she knew instantly that tonight was going to be a long, long night. She finished straightening out the tea corner the band had requested and swiveled around to face the curly-haired bastard. The stupid smirk was already on his lips and his eyes were full of the tell-tale mischief that came with Josh. 

“You got a crush on me or something?” He quirks his head with a raise of his eyebrows. “What are you doing here?” 

Josh knew she didn’t have a crush on him. Quite the opposite of it, but he loved to see her get furious with him. It brought him insurmountable joy. 

“Never in your most self-serving, indulgent fantasies,” She seethes and juts a hip and folds her arms across her chest, taking on a defensive stance immediately. “I work here, Josh. What are you doing here?” 

He grins, taking a few more steps into the room before pausing and looking around for a moment. His eyes cast around the worn leather couches, the two rugs mismatched and covering one another, a circular coffee table that had clearly seen too much cocaine in its heyday, and the table filled with snacks and drinks perfectly placed for his band’s amusement, before returning to his classmate staring at him with an appalled but also concerned face. 

“Work, of sorts,” He shrugs, the smile never leaving his face. “Moreso play.” 

She rolls her eyes but feels her breath hitch as Josh crosses the room further, coming extremely close to her. Her eyes widen as he continues to smile at her with an innocence she knew was an act. It doesn’t leave his intensely sculpted face that was unseasonably tanned for Michigan, even if summer had just ended. His hand reaches out to the right of her frame and plucks a fruit snack pack from the basket she had placed them in five minutes prior. 

“Those are for–” 

“The band?” He asks, his head cocked to the side once more, after finishing tearing the bag open with nimble fingers. “Thanks, by the way, lover. You got my favorite brand.” 

The pure joy Josh had just found in seeing her face contort in disgust at the nickname he had just come up with meant it wasn’t going away anytime soon. He thought he was clever for calling her something inaccurate yet also fitting since her place of work was called Lover’s Inn. In his eyes, it was perfect. 

“You’re not…” She trails off seeing the delight in Josh’s features. 

He nods, not taking a step back from her personal space and popping an organic fruit snack into his smug mouth. “I am. The lead singer, actually.” 

She turns back around to remove herself from the close proximity of Josh. “You’re just bullshitting me,” She mutters, shaking her head, refusing to believe him despite her knowing realistically, it was likely true. 

“No –” His next thought, likely one to continue his aggravating crusade, was cut off by someone else’s voice. 

“Josh, y’know you could help with the drum kit, like you’re supposed to,” A younger man with long flowing locks complains as he carries in two bass cases. His hair was damp, but drying, signifying the rain was subsiding. Josh’s hair had given no indication of the weather due to the drying but jarringly yellow umbrella that lay abandoned by the door. 

Once the cases are carefully set down in a corner of the room, he realizes that Josh was not alone. He uses a hand to flip his long hair back from his face and regards the other person in the room, coming to Josh’s side. 

“Hey,” He sticks the same hand out and has a goofily familiar grin on his face. “I’m Sam.” 

She takes his hand, telling him her name while giving his hand a shake before letting go rather quickly, she was confused. 

“You’re in the band,” She confirms to Sam, who nods affirmatively. “And Josh is in it too?” She asks more skeptically. 

“Sure is,” Sam looks at Josh quickly before smiling again, like an all knowing fox. “He likes to act like we’re already famous and don’t have to load our own equipment, but we’ll be lucky to score this gig, Ja–” 

“Okay, Sammy,” Josh cuts the younger boy off. “I’ll come out and help, just, shut the hell up.” 

Y/N quirks her head as she watches them shuffle back out of the same door she had come through twenty minutes prior, watching the way they interact with one another. She goes back to finishing up the table. It looked fine, but she still felt the need to turn all of the fruit snacks so that they were facing forward and make sure the extras of things she had bought were clearly accessible. 

Another younger guy with curlier hair walked in while she was still fussing over the table, a part of a drum kit on his back and a drawstring backpack in his hand. 

“I’m Danny,” He introduces quickly after shuffling off the large equipment bag and placing it on the outside of the green room door that leads to the rest of the venue. “Drummer.” 

She nods and introduces herself once more, directing him to the table of the fulfilled rider items and that she was around to answer any questions that weren’t specifically technical. Her job, after fulfilling the rider, was handling the band before and after they performed, essentially. She attempted to make that more styling and costume related, but in reality she just was there to make sure no one got too hammered before going out on the stage and no one passed out in the green room afterwards. It was a small venue and therefore a small crew but thankfully, she didn’t have to worry about the instruments as well. Just the people. 

When Josh returned to the room through the side door, she was still waiting at the entrance. Her body leaned against the inner frame of the door. It was shut to keep the noise of the rest of the venue out of here, and vice versa. She didn’t want to be in the room any longer than she had to be, but she needed to check off with the entirety of the band. It was to ensure that all of them were here prior to their set and to check in with them about anything else they might need. Now that she knew Josh was in the band, she really wished she could just leave. She certainly was not going to ask about styling, she already had her allotment of fighting over clothing with Josh for the week in class on Tuesday. 

The surprising thing about Josh’s arrival is the second copy of him that appears behind him. Like the first stranger, he had long stringy brown hair and slopey dark brown eyes. Unlike Sam, however, he was literally identical to Josh. One realization came to her silently, Sam was Josh’s little brother, that’s why his grin had been so unnervingly familiar. 

This man, just two steps behind Josh, though, he was more than familiar. He was the spitting image of Josh except for his hair. 

She can’t stop this realization from being audible. As the two of them stand practically side by side as they converse with one another, seeming to almost mirror one another, she blurts out words before she can think twice. 

“Twins!” Her voice sounds overjoyed at the realization that they were identical. There was a hopeful glinting look in her eyes as her hands clasp in front of her and she smiles. The fact that Josh was a pain in her ass is forgotten for a moment because she finds it so interesting and unbelievable that identical twins were standing before her and that she had known one all along without knowing it. 

Josh stops speaking mid-sentence to regard her and he’s surprised by her reaction. The twin looks perplexed as well with a raised left eyebrow. She is wowed once more. 

Josh says her name and hands Danny the rest of his drum kit. “This is my other brother, Jake.” 

“And you’re twins? Identical?” She repeats after Jake waves. 

“I think you know the answer to that,” Josh throws his hands up in a theatric flourish adding to the condescending tone. 

Jake replies far more cordially. “What Josh means to say is, yes we are identical twins. Thanks for noticing.” 

“I’m sorry,” She back tracks, remembering the situation and laughing, still feeling off-kilter. “I’ve known Josh for two unbelievably long years and he’s never mentioned once that he has an identical twin brother that he’s in a band with – and he talks enough for it to have come up at least once.” 

Josh rolls his eyes with a huff of breath, deciding that he wants to continue helping with their equipment and belongings rather than listen to what he was sure was about to turn into a ‘shit on Josh’ situation. 

Jake’s laughter is loud and unadulterated as he crosses the room towards Y/N with the same smile his brothers had, except his didn’t make her want to wring his neck. “He’s always talked too much, I can asure you that. What makes you clearly an unwilling acquaintance of his?” 

The grin on her face feels like it’s taking up the entire room. Already, Josh’s twin was leaps and bounds ahead of him in terms of how much she wanted to be around this person. She also liked his hair, it was long and pretty, maybe it needed a good shampoo and condition but it didn’t have a rat tail, which was the biggest plus in her book. When Josh had returned this school year without it, she had rejoiced but also been slightly dismayed that she hadn’t had the satisfaction of snipping it off herself. On several occasions, she remembered waking up with a triumphant smile after cutting it off in some of her more vivid dreams. She wasn’t completely sure if she could be trusted with scissors around Josh so maybe it was better in the end. 

“We’re the same major, unfortunately.” 

“Oh,” Jake’s voice holds deep understanding. “I’m sure that can be a lot. I used to help out on his films when we were in high school, so I know he’s…passionate.” 

She snorts and shakes her head, acknowledging what he had said before once again remembering she was working. “Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.” She casts her eyes around the room and sees that the four guys are all in the room. Josh had returned and was trying and failing to look like he wasn’t eavesdropping on her and Jake’s conversation. “Anyways, now that I know you’re all here, I can leave you be. Just let me know if there’s anything you need before your set. The techs will come in around,” She pauses looking at her watch. “7:00 to have y’all go set up and go over that kind of stuff. You need to be out on that stage at 8, no if’s, and’s or but’s. Also, if you do get the recurring slot, I’d love to help y’all with styling if you’d be interested since that’s more my expertise.”

She hears Josh snort at her last sentence but she pointedly ignores it, only looking at the other three band members. 

“How do we find you if we need something?” Sam asks, settling into the darkest brown leather couch like a lanky puppy, all limbs and no idea how to control them gracefully.  

“I, uh,” She stops, realizing she normally handed out her phone number since she hated the radios they were supposed to use. For some reason, giving her number to Josh’s band made her uneasy and then she remembered with a sigh. “Josh has my number from previous group projects, assuming he knows how to use his phone he should be able to give it to you.” 

“What’s your number again?” 

“You don’t have me saved?” She’s exasperated to say the least and a little offended otherwise. They had quite literally been paired in a duo group project their first week of college, two years ago. If he hadn’t saved her number after all this time, she’s sure she would strangle him.

“I think I do,” He looks down at his phone, scrolling through something, “just double checking something.” 

“Give me your phone,” She rolls her eyes and places the palm of her hand out waiting for the weight of Josh’s phone to be felt. She types in her number into the search bar of his contacts. The names dwindle until only ‘August’ pops up. She finishes typing the entire number and the name ‘August’ is still staring back at her on the screen. She looks between the phone and Josh a few times before clicking the name and verifying that it was her phone number. 

“Why the fuck do you have me as ‘August’ in your phone?” 

Josh grins triumphant and satisfied. When she glares at him, he shrugs and plucks the phone back from her grasp. “We met in August, I didn’t remember your name from class and I didn’t bother to ask. By the time I knew it, I couldn’t be bothered to change it.”

“You can’t be serious?” 

“Is Lover better or worse than August? Because I’m willing to change it to that,” He continues looking at her with that wolfish look in his eye. 

“I fucking hate you.” She says with a shake of her head before addressing the rest of the room again. “Well, if any of you three need me, don’t hesitate to find me down the hall or get my number from the gremlin that fronts your band and shoot me a text. Josh, do not bother me.” 

“Only in my dreams, I know, lover.” Josh mimics being shot by an arrow in his heart and stumbles back before winking evilly at her. 

“Right,” She sighs heavily and tries to smile lightly at the other three who offer her sympathetic smiles back. “I’ll be back at 7:45 if no one needs me before then.” 

A chorus of thanks follows her out the door and she ignores Josh’s voice again as she goes. It’s pitched up and honeyed sweet and it makes her sick. 

That was the first night. They had been good. Josh’s voice was surprisingly amazing and the rest of them were talented with their instruments. Jake was especially good on the guitar. She tried to focus on the instruments rather than Josh’s voice but it was almost impossible to listen to just one piece of their music, they all complemented each other so well. Even Josh’s voice didn’t overpower but finished the rest of the music being made. 

They had also been clean and on time. Two things her manager liked even more than a good sounding band that amassed a crowd was a good sounding band that didn’t require a lot of assistance or cleaning up after. Greta Van Fleet secured the recurring Thursday night gig at Lover’s Inn. Which ensured that she got to endure more Josh Kiszka in her life than ever before. 

They would fight in class and bicker during group projects that they got paired for and then to end her week just perfectly, she’d have Josh at her place of work, continuing to push her buttons and attempting to boss her around. 

He delighted in calling her ‘Lover’ and being a nuisance when she was trying to help one of his bandmates. He always had issues with the vests and belts she found for him, despite them being exactly what he asked for, if not better. And he always, always had that stupid smug smirk on his face when he was around her. 

In the middle of the semester, the film and visual arts third years were assigned a very intensive project. It could be alone or in groups but you had to do it all if you did it alone. As luck would have it or maybe it was just a cruel joke being played on her by the rest of the department, she and Josh were the only two not paired up who didn’t want to work alone. She contemplated doing it all on her own, but she knew she wasn’t the strongest writer and with the rest of her classes and the Lover’s Inn gig keeping her busy, she had to swallow her pride. Bite the bullet that was Josh Kiszka now entering another part of her life: her life away from both school and work. 

They had looked at one another with dismay in their eyes. Even Josh couldn’t spin this as a way to torture her, this was genuinely not his ideal scenario for an important project either. They departed class on Wednesday with a sighing compromise that they would talk about it after the gig on Thursday. 

On Thursday, Josh arrived first out of his band mates to the green room. She was there, finishing up unloading the grocery bags and double checking the cleanliness of the room. Even if Josh was a pain in her ass, she didn’t let her negative feelings for him change how she did her job. 

“Well if it isn’t my number one fan, lover!” Josh greets, resting his backpack at the edge of the couch closest to the side stage door. 

She sighed. She rejoiced on the Thursdays when it was one of the others to stroll through the door first, so that she wouldn’t have to be alone with Josh anymore for the week. Bringing herself to face him was hard, she had already seen enough of him this week and after the big announcement in class yesterday, she really could do without hearing his voice. 

“I know you’ve probably heard this a lot before, so you should understand when I say ‘not in the mood’.” 

“Oh lover, you wound me,” He gives her moon eyes before he rolls his eyes and walks around the room, continuing to place his stuff where he liked. The band had been working here for two months now and each of them had gotten into a groove. They had their spots and corners that they liked to chill in until it was time to get to work. 

“Do you want your clothes or not?” She leans into her hip as she stares at him expectantly, waiting for him to stop messing around with the throw blanket’s tassels. 

“I’d certainly go out and perform naked, I’m sure lots of people would thank you for your brilliant idea. Me in my true glory.” 

She scoffs and crosses to her tote bag, dropped by the entrance. She shuffles through it for Josh’s new vest and the belt she found that matched it perfectly. The vest was tan with gold embellishments and looked like it would fit his small frame. The belt was also encrusted with gold broqaue and turquoise stones with a loud engraved buckle to finish it off. 

With the pieces in hand, she crossed to his seat on the couch. Josh had his legs spread in a way that required her to stand between them or else she would have to lean awkwardly forward to give the clothes to him. She hated even the way he sat, making her life harder. He reclined back on the couch with his arms over the back of it, the light blue ratty t-shirt he wore stretched and strained over his biceps the way he was sitting. Her eye flickered to it for a split second in mild surprise, obviously he showed them off in the vests, but they seemed to bulge in their current state. 

“Lay it on me, lover,” He grins lazily up at her, one hand flipping up right and motioning for her to give it to him. 

She shakes her head at him and drops them carelessly on his lap. The belt was heavy enough for him to make a groaning sound. Normally she would walk out of the room at this point, just to get a little bit of time away from Josh. The rest of the band was reliable and she knew they’d all have arrived in the next ten minutes. However, something about Josh’s demeanor made her pause. It was something in the way his eyes looked. 

Normally they were wide and bright with evil intentions. Today they still looked mischievous but a little more droopy, his movements a little less agile. She stares at his face, searching for the answer and noticing the way he just lets her. 

“Finally decided you want some of this action, lover?” Josh mumbles, eyes fluttering closed as he lays his head back against the couch. “Stopped denying your true feelings…” 

She crouches down to be on the same level as Josh, her face getting close to his as she inspects him closely. One of her hands goes to his eyelid, as she leans over him, opening his eye manually. 

“Are you fucking stoned, right now?” 

He swats her hand away from him and sits back up, pushing her back so that she’s still crouched between his legs. His face looms above hers, the lazy grin still visible on his face, as she stares up at him. Their faces are an inch apart and the space is hot in the already warm room. Her eyes widened expectantly. 

“Shh, don’t tell August, she’ll yell at me.” 

“I am…” She pauses, realizing Josh was still fucking with her. She puts a hand to his chest and pushes him back against the couch, causing laughter to bubble from his lips. “Fuck you, Josh.” She states, standing up again and stalking out of the room with a final. “Weed better not fuck up your singing, asshole.” 

“Thanks for the vest, lover!” 

Besides strutting around the stage a bit more sluttily and carrying notes just a tad bit longer than necessary, high Josh functioned about the same as regular Josh. After the show, the band loaded up their gear once more in the back of Danny’s van that they lovingly all called the Greta Van. Normally, Josh would hitch a ride home with him and Sam or hang around the front of house getting sloshed with his twin. Tonight, he begrudgingly sulked around the green room, informing his brothers that he ‘had a meeting with the bosslady.’ 

August had overheard it and rolled her eyes. “We’re unfortunately partnered for an extremely important project. I’m worried I made the wrong choice and should’ve just gone it alone.” 

She grimaced as Jake wished her luck while Sammy and Dan gave her sympathetic gazes, mumbling their condolences. 

“It can only be as bad as we make it, lover.” Josh huffed, resuming his seat from earlier on the larger of the leather couches. 

“Are you sober enough for us to begin planning now?” She glared and folded a leg behind her to take a seat on the far end of the same couch. 

Josh scoffed with a flip of his hand. “Oh c’mon it was just a couple bowls before going on to perform art.” Josh trailed off, mumbling as he stared around the room. 

“Repeat that?” She urged. 

“It’s not like it was the first time,” He repeated louder but still softly. 

She groaned. “God, Josh.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “Y’know what? Fuck if I care. Let’s just get our plan laid out so we can go home.” 

Josh nodded curtly. Her eyes flickered to his face in surprise that he didn’t protest. 

“Okay,” She started, speaking cautiously. “I’ll obviously take the lead on costuming and you on writing, but we’ll need to collaborate on directing and creative direction. Do you have any ideas for stories you want to tell?” 

Josh hummed, head falling to the back of the couch in contemplation. “Cults, a modern Greek tragedy, a bar comedy –we could set it right here, erh star-crossed lovers? What about you or are you just gonna keep all your ideas to yourself?” 

“I was waiting to see if you had any worthwhile ideas.” She shrugged, scribbling something down on a notepad Josh hadn’t seen her produce. “The modern take on a Greek tragedy could be interesting…” 

“I also was thinking about something similar with a modern take on a classic film like ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ or something to that extent. I like the idea of a post-college existential crisis coming of age female lead type story but I doubt you’d care for that.” 

“No, no, no,” Josh sat up straight. “Don’t put your assumed misogyny on me! I’d love to do a female lead coming of age post-college existential crisis story! How dare you?” 

She smiled at her page and then up at Josh. “My mistake.” 

Their eyes met and the room felt eerily quiet with both of their mouths shut for once. The dingy yellow lights bathed the room in a homey glow. The worn leather was warm beneath their skin, inviting them to settle in. 

Then simultaneously, they said: “Modern take of a Greek tragedy that is a coming of age post-college female lead story!” 

“Fuck yes!” Y/N rose onto her knees in excitment as Josh’s entire face lit up, leaning forward in excitement.

“Let’s fucking go!” 

They laughed and high fived, feeling an unexpected and unknown emotion of shared understanding and initial accomplishment. They talked plot, characters and logline, the main bones of the project they needed to get started on and split up what each of them would flesh out for their next meeting. It was decided that it would be best to meet after class on Wednesdays rather than Thursdays after shows just so that they didn’t have to hang around Lover’s Inn when it was just the locals in the front of the house and so that Jake didn’t get too lonely when he wanted to drink himself under the bar. 

Josh felt a weird inclination to walk her to her car that night. He knew which car was hers, he always looked for it in the parking lot when he would pull up on Thursdays – a 90s classic black Volvo sedan with a dreamcatcher hanging on the rearview mirror. 

She had regarded Josh oddly when he insisted on walking her over to the car even though the parking lot was empty with plenty of light. Then she noticed again that the lot was empty beside her car and the bartender’s, who was still working. 

“Where’s your car?” 

Josh kicked at a pebble with his sneaker and shrugged his shoulders with his hands stuffed in his khakis pockets. 

She frowned remembering his high state earlier today. At least he was somewhat responsible, but with no foresight. “Did you want a ride?” 

“Nah.” He shook his head vehemently. “I walked in, I can walk out.” 

“Yeah,” She agreed. “But it’s dark out now.”

“It was dark out earlier.” He reasoned with his usual smirk trying to win his way out of this one. 

“Not this dark, not this cold,” She insisted, pushing his shoulder to move towards the passenger’s side door. “And not this late. Get in.” 

In the small interior of the Volvo, Josh took his hands out of his pockets and rubbed them together as she cranked the heat and shivered herself before getting her music playing. 

“Thanks,” Josh whispered, grateful. 

“Can’t have you dying on me,” She replied. As she pulled out of the parking lot, she was focused on backing up carefully, twisting around and switching gears, and she barely noticed when she finished her sentence under her breath. “For so many reasons.” 

In the dark of the car, lit only by the moon and streetlamps around, Josh watched her uninterrupted. She sang under the music she had chosen for the drive. A CD that had already been in the reader of Radiohead. 

Josh listened along to the dulcet melancholy voice of Thom Yorke. He likes how she knew all the words but paused every so often to look to Josh for directions.

“Nice house,” she said, turning down the stereo when they arrived. 

Josh shrugged, turning his head from her to the classic Michigan two-story with its basic driveway and porch. Dark wood everywhere and an old tree in the front yard. There were warm lights coming from a few windows in the house and it looked like a home.

“It’s fine. Jake, Sammy and I rent it from a family friend so it’s a good deal.”

“That’s nice.” She feels awkward, making small talk with Josh. 

It’s the antithesis of their usual relationship of bickering and jabbing and avoiding. It’s soft and casual. Warm and inviting in the familiar seats of her car, with her music. Josh kind of seemed at peace in her car. It was unusual, regarding him looking so quiet and calm. 

“Alright.” She breaks the silence.

Josh takes the cue, blinking out of whatever trance was keeping him from taking his leave from her car and getting into his house for the night. 

“Night,” he speaks softly. “Thanks for the ride…and, uh, see you Monday, I guess.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, watching him get out of the car, carefully taking his bag and his new vest and belt into his arms.

She waits for him to get inside before driving off. Still unsure of the feeling in her stomach, she blasts the Radiohead a little louder to drown out her speculations. 

-

By the end of November, they were almost through with the filming portion of their project. Yet it was time for a relatively complicated scene. Well, it shouldn’t have been complicated if the weather had been right but unfortunately they were venturing into true winter in Michigan. 

Josh and Y/N had settled on the tragedy of Hippolytus after attempting the tragedy of Medea but deciding it was too overdone — how many stories of a woman scorned by a man leaving her could we want? Instead, the twist of Hippolytus in the 21st century would allow for an interesting female lead whose story didn’t start because of a man. 

Instead, like Hippolytus, their lead had decided against sex and relationships during college. Josh and Y/N had worried about making it purity porn but decided that they would balance the true story with modernity enough that it would work. 

In the Greek tragedy, the woman interested in Hippolytus killed herself after being rejected by him, however that was another place they would depart. Instead, the counter to the lead would be hurt randomly and there would be a need for the lead to help them. This leads her to pursue psychology and therapy—medicine felt too cliche. But she knew she wanted to help people. Their bond eventually grows to love even though it’s not what she intended. However, both the therapy and the relationship help her find meaning to life, bringing her out of the existential crisis that started the story.

So they were filming the scene where the counter, James, was meant to get hurt. The short film was going to be narrated by a modern Aphrodite so some silliness was injected into it. She was interfering with the lead, Hyacinth, in hopes to persuade her to fall into bed with someone. 

James lived next door and was washing his car, shirtless, when Hyacinth walked out her front door, about to go to gym—another one of her ideas of how to find purpose in life, pushing her body until it had no energy to think. Jason was meant to have gotten soap all over him from leaning across the hood of the car, like a male fantasy but reversed, and then point the hose towards him and wash it all off sexily. Of course, the student they had cast, weirdly also named James, was attractive but he was an angel and an ex-theater kid, so he couldn’t quite get it right and he was beginning to shiver even though they had the water as warm as possible and were covering him up between every take.

Josh was attempting to hold back laughter but after the third bad take, Y/N yelled ‘cut’ and walked into the scene.

“James, here hand me the handle,” she said. 

Taking hold of the metal length at the end of hose that was turned off, she began to instruct James to do exactly what she was showing him. She turned it towards her and held it above her chest with her head tilted back, eyes closed. She sighed for a moment and then briefly moved up as if the water were hitting her face and then ran her free hand against her cheek, allowing her lips to open further and then ran the same hand down the front of her neck, down her chest and her stomach, brushing to the side just as she got to the top of her thighs.

James watched carefully, not phased by the directing. Josh gawked. His eyes almost bugged out of his head watching her and wondering if just maybe that’s what she looked like in a shower. Her soft hands would be running over her soft naked skin instead of her warm winter sweater and jeans, but still. He could imagine. The sudsy soap and bare skin touching the cool tiles and warm water. Fuck. He needed her to never do that again ever. 

The last month he had seen more of Y/N than he had ever thought possible. Except now, he looked forward to it without pretending it was because he wanted to bug her. Josh wanted to know what she was thinking about every aspect of their project and he wanted to hear about her weekend and he wanted to kiss her against the walls in the green room when his brothers weren’t there. He didn’t act on the third thing, but he wanted to.

“Josh?” She raised an eyebrow, still holding the hose above her chest. “Josh?” She repeated.

He blinked. “Huh?”

“I asked if you agreed? Does that fit with an Aphrodite induced sexy car wash scene you imagined?”

He smiled weakly and she tilted her head in silent worry. Hopefully Josh wasn’t getting sick.

Of course it is, doesn’t even need a Greek god to intervene and make it hotter, she just was. 

“Yeah, yep, fantastic,” Josh rushed. “James, you got it? We’re losing light.”

A cloud was rolling in from the east and Josh knew that if they didn’t finish soon they might get rained out.

James nodded and they ran the scene again. The actor nailed it and after Josh yelled cut, Y/N squealed in accomplishment. They high fived and Josh’s eyes linked on the side of her neck where her fingers had brushed as she had caressed herself minutes ago—professionally. 

After that, they wrapped for the day, Josh still concerned about the rain, sending the actors and helpers home. Y/N hung around to help Josh bring his equipment back into his house. They were using the front of it for the scene. On their last trip to grab things from the street, thankfully all non-electronic, the beginning of what would be a long rainstorm began in full force.

This time it was Josh to shriek and Y/N laughed as they ran under the awning of the porch after grabbing everything left as quickly and carefully as possible. It didn’t matter, they were pretty drenched.

She tried to catch her breath from running and laughing while Josh felt his hair with a look of dismay. 

“You know you’re stuck here,” Josh grumbled, looking out at the pouring rain. He hated the way she seemed to enjoy his displeasure at being wet. 

“As long as you’ve got a spare change of clothes, a hot shower and a gas stove in case the power goes out, I’m fine.” She shrugs, pushing the screen door open and putting her half of Josh’s stuff on the entryway bench. 

Josh followed behind with his binder and a few rain-ruined scripts.  

“Anyone else home?” She wanders through the hall to the living room, peeling off her sweater and leaving her boots by the wall. 

Josh shakes his head, “Probably not, it pisses Jake off when I film at the house and Sam usually goes to Danny’s on the weekend.”

She inspects her jeans and t-shirt before looking at Josh. “I want to shower now, can you find me clothes and put them in the bathroom before I get out?”

“Who made you queen?”

“This isn’t Lover’s Inn, I’m not on the clock and I’m your guest who’s trapped here…feel like you’re supposed to dote on me.” 

Josh rolled his eyes, feeling the memory of their feud flickering like an ember in the pit of his stomach. He wants to tease her, say something biting to turn the tables on her. But she was right, they weren’t in any of the situations they were usually in with one another. More uncharted territory. 

“You’re annoying,” he offered lamely. 

She chuckled and pushed at his shoulder lightly as he passed, assuredly showing her to the bathroom. “Try harder, lover.”

Josh scoffed without turning his head around, but the feeling in his stomach grew as he heard her feet padding behind him. The rain was loud on the tall roof, fast and foreboding. It might’ve been adding to Josh’s unease. 

At the end of this new hallway, there were three doors. One to a bedroom, Josh’s, a closet and the bathroom. He opened the closet to grab fresh towels he kept for when he didn’t want to do laundry that week and walked them into the bathroom.

It was surprisingly clean but Josh had his own bathroom, forcing Jake and Sam to share the other one, claiming he was the oldest so he got the most privacy. 

She smiled at the tub. “Should I have a soak instead? Do you have any good wine?”

“This is not a fucking hotel,” Josh laughed. He handed her the towels and she gave him a pointed look. “But I’ll open a bottle.”

“Good boy,” She continued to smirk. “Maybe I’ll leave a nice tip.” 

Josh pinkened slightly. She’d never been like this before. He felt like he was falling into some world where Aphrodite really was fucking with his life. 

15 minutes later, Josh returned to the bathroom where Y/N was showering and pushed the door open. She had music playing but he could hear the water still running. 

He walked in and placed the sweatshirt and clean boxers on the counter. Her wet clothes were in a puddle on the floor beside the shower mat and he swallowed. A pretty pink lace thong and a black lacy bra laid atop her top and jeans. He took a breath and went to head for the door, turning away from the clothes. But Y/N’s own breath caught his attention. 

Her grunge 90s music was playing from her phone but she was breathing hard and Josh stopped short. His eyes shot to the shower curtain. The place he had been avoiding with all his power. It was sheer. Her silhouette was hard to see but it looked like it was writhing. He saw one of her hands slipping around her chest and he bit his lip. She was certainly squeezing her tits and she was breathing hard and he couldn’t see her other hand.

He put his own hand to his mouth to stop any shocked sounds slipping out. She must have forgotten that he was coming back. When he saw her silhouette drop to the floor of the tub, Josh snapped out of his trance.

He grabbed the clothes and slipped out the door, closing it as quietly as possible just as he heard a breathy ‘fuck’ he would dream about for weeks. 

“Shit,” he whispered to himself. Letting his head fall against the now closed door, he took a deep centering breath before knocking loudly. “I’m leaving your clothes out here, kay? Gonna open that wine.”

Her voice was normal in response and Josh was wondering if he had just hallucinated. Had he accidentally taken a gummy and forgotten. Seemed unlikely since he usually wouldn’t when he was working on film stuff. 

“Sounds good! Thanks, Josh!” 

Josh tried to be normal when she came into his room in his clothes, rubbing his towel through her wet hair. He’d left the wine and two mismatched glasses on his bedside table. He mumbled that she could start without him as he passed her to jump in the shower himself.

On the fogged main mirror, she had written, “don’t work when it’s about to rain!” 

Josh smiled to himself and stripped down out of his clothes that were still uncomfortably wet. His shower was much quicker and much colder. He couldn’t allow himself to be in there for very long or else he would’ve started to fantasize about what he was certain had just happened in here. 

In his room, Y/N sat on his bed, taking large sips of the red wine Josh had found. She was nervous. Something about this storm was making her uneasy. The scene they had shot had done something to her. Everytime she looked at Josh, she swore he was eyefucking her and that made her feel strange. Extremely turned on. She had thought dealing with it in the shower would’ve solved it but the minute she walked out and saw Josh looking so sullen, still in his rain-soaked clothes sans his jacket, waiting for her to get out, she felt wet again. If anything, the quick wank had made it worse. Already slick and wanting, she wasn’t sure if she could handle being around just Josh for the night. 

Now that they were friends, she couldn’t deny how attractive he was. God, it made her roll her eyes. He was talented and attractive and she was sitting in his bed, drinking his wine in his comfy clothes all at her request. 

If it couldn’t get any worse, Josh walked into his room with his towel hanging around his hips and his chest speckled with droplets coming down from his hair. 

“Didn’t have time to dry off?” She tilted her head, trying to sound casual. Unbothered when she was fully, terribly, bothered. 

Josh shook his head, making more droplets fly around the room. “Forgot my own clothes.” He shuffled through his myriad of t-shirts and grabbed a gray one with a Buddhist symbol and black sweatpants. 

“You sound like you need a drink,” she tried. 

“Yes,” Josh sighed as if he was coming out of a desert with no water. He held his hand out and she quickly poured the second glass and placed it in his waiting hand.

Their fingers brushed and both of them pulled back as if they’d been burned. She met Josh’s widened, brown eyes looking dark in his navy room that was shadowed by the storm and his one yellow lamp. He clutched carefully to his towel and the clothes under his arm with the wine in his other hand, taking a long sip as he turned on his heel and returned to the bathroom. 

She let her head hit the headboard of Josh’s bed. What the fuck was going on? She took another sip of her wine and then refilled the glass up high. 

When Josh returned clothed, he sat on the foot of the bed and she silently refilled his glass when she saw it was already empty. 

“So…what do you want to do?” She tries while folding her legs up under her chin. 

Josh’s eyes flicker to the movement and get stuck on her legs for a moment before returning to her face. 

“Movie?”

She shrugs, looking around his room for a television. “I don’t want to sit in your living room, your couch looks uncomfortable.”

“That’s where you’re sleeping if you can’t get home tonight,” Josh scoffs. 

She arches an eyebrow and takes a sip of her wine. “I’ll sleep in Jake’s bed, he won’t mind.”

“No.” Josh stated flatly.

Her eyes turn back to him, cautiously. “Why not?” 

“It’s weird.”

“No it’s not.” She sounds annoyed, placing her wine down and picking up her phone. “I’ll just text him and ask.” 

The text sends and she smirks at Josh pointedly. Shortly after, a loud crash of thunder signals the power leaving for the rest of the storm and with it, the phone signals. 

Josh smirks triumphantly over his glass when Y/N throws her phone dejectedly on the side table too, while he flicks on his battery powered lamp he had grabbed earlier as a precaution. 

“Couch it is.”

She lays sideways along the top of Josh’s bed and hums, raising her hands above her head, allowing the bottom of the sweater to lift and expose her stomach. Feeling perfectly buzzed from the wine, she sighs, “I don’t know, this feels pretty comfy and I’m already settled. Maybe you should sleep on the couch since you love it so much.” 

Josh watched her body extending across his bed and simultaneously wanted her there forever and to throw her out. 

“Absolutely not. This is my house.”

“And I’m the guest,” she repeats. “C’mon lover, don’t be mean.” 

“You’ve never seen mean,” Josh rolls his eyes and finishes his wine, laying it with hers on the table.

She laughs, outrageously loud. “You’re a lot of things, Josh. But I don’t think you’ve got a truly mean bone in your body or however that cliche goes. Evil sure, but that’s different.” 

She hasn’t bothered to sit up and she’s enjoying the tone of voice Josh is slipping into and everything feels quite nice and warm. So warm. She shuts her eyes. 

“No, no,” Josh hurries, moving himself so that he is closer to her. He pats her cheek lightly. “No falling asleep in my bed. Not allowed.”

“But I’m so comfy and cozy,” She croons, blinking her eyes back open. The smirk on her face gives her away. 

“C’mon.” Josh takes her shoulders to push her upright. “Sit up.”

She laughs, but it dies out, recognizing the proximity of Josh’s face to hers. How his body is hovering over hers. How warm she is. “Fuck,” she whispers, staring at his lips, slightly stained from the wine.

“What?” Josh whispers back, realizing the same things as her. How soft the smallest bit of her skin is against his finger that’s on her shoulder, slipping along the collar of the sweater. 

“Your lips are red,” she states. 

Josh grins and lets his head fall between them with a laugh. “So are yours.”

He looks back at her and remembers the way she sounded in the bathroom. All the years he’d known her. All their fights. And how they weren’t really fighting anymore. How he teased her at Lover’s Inn and how good she’d been as his partner this last month and a half. 

“What are we going to do with no power, August,” Josh whispered, already inching his face closer to hers. 

She smiled and let her hands reach up to cup his face and neck. “Read the Bible by candlelight?” She whispered back as Josh’s nose nudged against hers.

He breathed a laugh across her lips and her breath caught in her throat when he finally attached his lips to hers. They kissed softly, just taking it in. Josh shifted them into a more comfortable position, one leg slotting between hers, while the other supported him so his torso wasn’t fully on her. 

She whimpered immediately at the pressure and Josh smirked. He pressed harder, licking into her mouth. 

She gasped when Josh began to kiss her neck and he spoke against her neck in between sucking against the skin. “I heard you.” 

“W-what?” She was staring at the ceiling while she ran one hand against his shoulder and the other through his hair. 

“I. Heard. You.” Josh repeated, allowing one of his hands to run under the sweater up towards her breast and she whimpered again. “Fuck,” he loved the way she sounded. “In the shower, lover.” 

Her eyes shot wider, the haze of Josh’s lavishing touch disappeared with shame. “You did?”

Josh pulled back with a lazy grin, still playing with one of her nipples under her shirt and pecks her lips quickly. 

“Yeah you fuckin’ told me to bring your clothes in because you’re a princess apparently and then you were in there getting off when I walked in.” 

She felt embarrassed but remembered what was likely about to happen so it didn’t really matter. “Oh…I tried to deal with it quietly. I was just really turned on for some reason.” 

Josh scoffed and retreated his hand from under her sweater. “C’mon,” he gestured to the sweater. 

They were still acting like film partners through this interaction. Or at least how they acted. Talking casually while in the beginning of a sexual encounter. 

She took it off and threw it to the ground while staring pointedly at Josh’s shirt. He followed suit before kissing her again. His chest looked so soft and warm, she wanted to be wrapped up in him.

“First, I almost had a heart attack at the sight of your thong and then I turned to leave and you’re in there playing with this thing.” He pauses his words, slipping his hand inside the boxers she was wearing, cupping her pussy. 

She whines, extending her neck to kiss Josh’s. Feeling the need to touch more of him. He grins down at her again and kisses the space between her tits. 

His hand rubbed ever so slightly over her mound without actually doing anything, but she felt the slightest friction and the pooling of her wetness. She grabbed at one of her tits. 

“The curtain’s not opaque, August,” he continues and she groans at the nickname at a time like this. His middle finger slipped lower, hovering over her slit. He looked her in the eyes again. “I saw you writhing around your own little fingers. What’s it gonna look like when it’s mine your pretty pussy is wrapped around?”

She moaned at his words, throwing her head back against the pillows. 

“Is it pretty? I bet it’s pretty.” Josh continued his special version of torture. She could feel his fingers but they weren’t doing anything she wanted them to. Every so often he planted a kiss on her torso. Of course he liked to tease by talking forever and ever. 

“Take off the boxers and find out,” She tries not to sound impatient. 

“Great idea!” Josh patronizes, slipping his hand out of the boxers completely and moving to take off the boxers.

She huffs. 

“Don’t act spoiled,” Josh admonishes, returning his hand back to where it was while his other cups her face, forcing her to look him in the eyes again. He looks like an angel like this but so sure of himself. She’s amazed and completely at his will. “I know she already got to cum once under this roof.” He tsked, tapping his middle finger against her entrance. It was the lightest pat but she was so wet that Josh’s finger got a little of her slick nonetheless.

She moaned at the change in sensation, her hips dipping down in some instinctual attempt at getting him to slip inside. 

“God, you are needy.” He removed his hands again and laughed when she huffed again. Both hands moved to her knees and pushed them to be bent and then apart, moving his body between them. His hands then went to her breasts, squeezing them and pinching tenderly at her nipples. Her hips bucked again and Josh kissed her again. “It’s gonna feel so good when I finally touch you where you want,” He offered, kissing her sweetly. 

Pulling away he began to suck on her chest, continuing his monologue. “You were holding this perfect tit in one hand and rubbing your wet pussy with the other, right?”

She nodded when he looked to her for a response. 

“I left when I saw you drop to your knees like some cock hungry whore…” Coming from someone else it would’ve sounded cruel, but from Josh’s lips it was the softest sweetest accusation in the world. His voice was honey and it only made her want him more. Maybe she was a cock hungry whore, for Josh. 

Josh’s right hand returns to her pussy, cupping it like before and she’s sure she’s about to leak onto his palm. 

“You’re leaking, princess,” Josh informs her, confirming her suspicion. “Do you like me talking mean to you? Why’d you drop to your knees in my bathroom, August? C’mon you can tell me.”

“I,” She starts. Josh chooses then to slip the tip of his finger inside of her. 

“Yes?”

“I was about to c-cum and you have that, fucking, detachable showerhead…”

Josh thrust his finger fully inside her and she moaned, relieved but not much better. Now she felt herself quickly working up to another orgasm. He thrust his finger carefully, thinking over his response while trying to hold himself together now that he’d felt how warm and tight she was inside. 

“Used my showerhead to get off in my shower. Touching these pretty tits, riding your own hand and now you’re laid out all perfect for me.” He added a finger and her hips began to move with his movements. “You are a little slut, aren’t you?”

She hums in agreement, one hand hanging onto Josh’s neck and another gripping her tit like her life depended on it. 

“And you’re gonna cum again already? Fuck,” Josh sounded amazed. In awe of how sexy Y/N was, how willing and lovely she was, how she was perfect for him. “Go on.”

She came immediately, having held off for so long, trying to hold it for Josh despite how much he’d teased her. 

After she rode it out, Josh removed his fingers and gave them a lick. Humming his satisfaction. She breathed heavily watching him, but wanting more. Seeing from the bulge in Josh’s sweatpants she knew he wanted more as well. 

“Fuck me, Josh.” She sat up on her elbows beckoning him closer. 

“Did you forget who’s in charge?” He laughed, but it was soft. They were still themselves. 

She widened her legs and pouted, dropping her hand to her pussy, carefully circling her puffy clit. 

“Need it, Josh.” She rocked her hips. “I think you need it too.” She hummed, looking pointedly at his straining cock.

Josh shook his head and crawled over her again, pushing her hand away from her clit. She took up the job of pushing down his sweatpants and boxers simultaneously. 

“Next time, I wanna see you dropping to your knees like the cockslut we now know you are.” Josh breaths, losing track of his train of thought with the feel of her soft hand gripping the base of him gently. 

“Next time could be later tonight…” She whispered back, connecting their lips again. “Or tomorrow.”

Josh groans, at her words and the feeling of her slipping the head of his cock through her slick. He resisted pressing in immediately, feeling her rubbing it back and forth from her entrance to her needy clit. He bit her lip and she moaned. 

“I would’ve fucked you months ago if I knew that getting you wet was all it took to make you all sweet and nice.” He grunted. 

His hips thrusting on their own accord caused his head to slip against her clit in a way that made her moan loudly. She tightened her grip on his cock and Josh’s hips moved back.

“I wouldn’t be rude to the girl who’s about to let you hit, lover.” 

She nudged Josh’s head into her entrance and they sighed in tandem. Her hands went up to his shoulders from under his arms. Josh dropped his face into her neck, overwhelmed by the warmth and softness. They began moving at a steady clip. Her legs wrapped around Josh until he started thrusting harder and faster. 

“Fuck,” she whined. “That feels so fucking good. Don’t stop.”

Josh had begun to sweat. He shifted one of her legs to balance one of his hands and then moved his other to the headboard and she moaned loudly adoring the stretch.

“‘M close,” He strained. His eyes were constantly shifting between her bouncing tits, his cock disappearing in her and her face and the expressions she was making. “You’re so wet.”

“Cum,” she breathed. Her fingers slipped down to her clit again, rubbing furiously. 

Her walls tightened at the added stimulation and Josh was cumming. Hot and sticky inside her. He panted hard, collapsing on her with a wet kiss against her mouth. His cock had made even more of a mess of her, leaking out of her full, throbbing cunt. 

Josh watched it. Entranced as he pulled out once more and twitched when Y/N moaned at the sensation, her eyes shut in pleasure. 

“I’ll clean you up,” Josh nodded to himself before disappearing. 

Less than 10 minutes later, the pair were cleaned up and wrapped up with water in Josh’s bed. Side by side. 

-

They saw each other in class on Monday and Wednesday after their shoot and impromptu sleepover on Saturday that had run into Sunday, but they acted like nothing had happened. Or like it was completely normal. Which they both liked. They had been cordial upon waking up wrapped around each other on Sunday morning, but Y/N had made a quick exit, citing a myriad of reasons why she needed to go home now that the storm had passed. She even declined coffee. 

It was Thursday, at Lover’s Inn, when the events of Saturday night became hard to ignore. 

Josh didn’t show up first which she was grateful for. Jake sauntered in with his guitar case, his small but impressive pedal board and a few wrapped up cords over his shoulder. She smiled and they exchanged pleasantries as she shuffled around their table. Everything was ready, but she couldn’t stop herself from reorganizing things. 

“Do you need a beer?” Jake asks after a tense 10 minutes of silence. 

She laughs and flips around from the table, slumping against it. “Honestly, yeah.” 

Jake lifts his mouth into a half-smile, nodding to the table. “You can have one of mine and I’ll steal one of my brothers.” 

“How chivalrous,” She smiles, disarmed by Jake’s nature. She grabs two beers and the bottle opener from the table before crossing to him and handing over one beer to him, followed by the opener. 

They click the necks together and take an appreciative sip. 

“What’s got you flustered?” Jake asks. 

“I don’t know,” She sighs, rubbing at her forehead, knowing exactly why. 

Sam, Danny and Josh file through the side door while Y/N attempts to come up with a reason for her to be stressed. Jake watches her carefully, but her eyes immediately shoot to the sound of the door opening and their voices. 

Josh scans the scene of Jake and Y/N on the two couches, sipping on beers, alone. His nose flares momentarily before setting down his piece of the drum kit and saunters to the couch, sitting beside Jake. 

“Your turn,” Josh says, nodding to the door so that Jake will go help with the rest of their stuff. 

Jake rolls his eyes and takes another swig of his beer before huffily standing up and walking outside. Josh eyes Y/N sitting silently across from him and takes a swif from his brother’s beer. 

“I’m assuming he offered his share and then is planning to drink an extra of one of ours.” 

She chuckles nervously, eyes shifting away from Josh and around the room. “You guys know each other well.” 

“Brothers. Twins.” He shrugs, still watching her intently. 

She discards her half-empty beer and stands, bee-lining for her bag. “I’ve got new stuff for you guys.” 

Josh rolls his eyes, but feels a little bug of worry squirming in. The insecurity he had felt on Sunday had vanished with how normal they had been in class, but this made him feel like something was certainly off. 

“Here,” She places the vest and medallion necklace she’d found for Josh beside his head on the back of the couch. “And here’s this for you, Danny.” She turned from Josh before he could even thank her, handing Danny a tank style shirt she thought he’d like. Sam received a flowy floral button down while Jake got a fringe leather jacket that she had been searching for all semester for him. 

Jake beamed, his eyes shiny and his smile taking over his entire face. She smiled back at him, trying to fully feel the gratitude he was giving her. She watched as he tried it on and spread his arms in the mirror, admiring the movement. 

“This is going to be so fuckin’ sick,” He laughed, slightly in disbelief, touching over the jacket constantly. “I can’t thank you enough, Y/N.” 

She blushed a bit, feeling everyone’s eyes on her, especially Josh’s from his place on the couch. He was holding his vest in his lap, sullen that he had never thanked her so profusely for the things she found him. 

“It’s my dream job–and if you guys ever get famous, I’ll make you real stage outfits. However you want.” Jake’s giddy energy was overpowering her nerves. It felt great. 

The green room was a fun atmosphere for the rest of the hour leading up to their set. Josh pushed himself out of his pining and focused on the revelry. But before the band was about to go on, Josh hung back, leaving him alone with Y/N. 

She saw him stall at the door, his hand catching the frame. His vest was tan suede tonight, with silver pieces swirling into pockets on the front and creating a pattern across his back. He turned around and she paused, once more at the table, beginning to clean up wrappers. 

“I wanted to say thank you for all the vests and stuff you’ve found me this semester, August.” 

She watched Josh cross the room to her. “It’s nothing. Like I said, dream job.” 

Josh pressed closer and threaded his hand through her hair. His breath was warm against her skin. She finally met his eyes. 

“I miss you.” 

“You’ve seen me all week.” 

Josh’s forehead drops against hers, his free hand coming to her waist. It’s hot and firm and she feels the breath leave her lungs. Her body presses closer to him. 

“Not what I meant.” 

“Josh…” She wants to kiss him so bad. Wants him to kiss her. Her hands are grasping at his forearms in a way she hopes isn’t too desparate. “You’ve got a show to play.” 

His hand moves slowly from her waist across her stomach to the center of her jean skirt. His fingers fiddle with the button, slipping them below the waistband, feeling more fabric. 

“It’s a shame.” His breathing was heavy. His nose kept nudging hers. 

She licked her lips and swallowed. 

“Really wish you weren’t wearing tights,” He murmurs before pressing a hot kiss to her lips. 

Before she can really feel him against her, he’s pulling away and snapping the black lycra that he had wiggled his finger into against her skin. A sharp gasp sounds and he’s walking out the door to the stage, looking far too much like a rockstar than she’d like. After a few moments of attempting to collect herself, she leaves the trash to be dealt with later and follows Josh to see the start of the show. 

This show was electric. Everyone was playing their best. Jake was rocking with his guitar so much that the fringe flew around, making the crowd of college-aged women the band had amassed go wild. Josh was strutting around the stage, raising his arms as he hit notes and dancing with Jake every so often. 

Jake tried to convince the manager to let Sam and Danny into the front of house. ‘It’s not like they don’t have IDs that say they’re old enough,’ he reasoned conspiratorially. He was over the moon and he wanted everyone to celebrate since winter break was coming up and their show would be taking a rest for a while. Her manager relented, but Josh almost crushed his twin’s soul when he said he needed to go home to work on editing. 

Sam and Danny’s exuberance at being able to drink at the bar overpowered Jake’s protestations to Josh, leaving Y/N and Josh alone in the green room once more. He smirked with great satisfaction as he shrugged the vest from his shoulders and began to pull his t-shirt back over his head. 

“Where were we?” He saunters back over and she’s happy to see regular Josh instead of the rockstar Josh who had ambushed her earlier. 

Yet, she remembered him. And she remembered his performance tonight. How low his pants were slung around his hips. A pair of tight black vinyl pants she had found him about a month ago. His happy trail had meandered down to disappear beneath the fabric she had chosen for him. Now, he was straining against those pants and she shut her eyes, coming to terms with what she was about to do. 

“It’s your turn, Josh.” She meets him in the middle of the room, backing him up against the arm of the bigger leather couch. She caged him in for a moment, looking him up and down. Josh’s eyes were wide in surprise. “Sit on the couch.” 

He is a bit confused, but doesn’t argue, shuffling to sit down as quickly as possible. 

“Eager, huh?” 

“Now who’s being mean?” 

She grins and walks to stand in front of Josh, dropping to her knees with quiet ease and practice. Josh immediately throws his head back, sinking lower into the chair. 

“Oh my god.” 

“Didn’t want to leave you hanging,” She smiled. Running her hands over the tops of Josh’s vinyl clad thighs. “I could see it while you were on stage. At least,” She paused to chuckle. “More than usual.”

Josh sighed, eyes fluttering open to stare at her between his legs again. She was so beautiful even when she smiled at him so wickedly. 

“Want your cock in my mouth, Josh?” 

“Fuck, Y/N,” Josh couldn’t take the teasing of her hands and her words. 

“Just say ‘please’.” She stared at Josh seriously. Her hands toying with the button and zipper of his pants now, brushing just over his hardening length. 

“Please, please, fucking please.” He rushed out. 

She laughed and shook her head. “God, fine. Relax.” 

Her hands expertly unhooked the button and slid the zipper down with practiced hands of a costumer. This was far more explicit than any of the other times she had undressed someone. Josh’s cock was hot and heavy in her hand and her core ached at the memory of where it had been almost a week ago. She ran her tongue against it and Josh groaned. 

She lavished his head with a few kisses and looked up at Josh, beginning to suck on the side of it. “So pretty,” She murmurs. 

Josh’s hips bucked in response, his hand going to rest in her hair, but careful not to guide her. He wanted to see what she did. She gathered a pool of spit to let fall onto his thick cock before languidly running her hand over the length, hoping to tease him a little more. She hadn’t forgotten the treatment he gave her on Saturday. Josh’s hips bucked again and he groaned her name. 

Taking his head fully in between her lips, she took pity on him. Beginning her descent, she attempted to get him all in her throat but had about a handful left when he hit the back of her throat. She hummed around him and he jerked in her throat, causing her to fall back. She massaged her lips around the place where his head met the shaft before trying again. One hand on his thigh and one beneath his shirt, she bobbed her head slowly, suctioning occasionally until Josh was hissing about being close again. 

She pulled off him and smiled at him from her position. Her lips were wet with saliva and precum. Josh’s eyes were half closed in pleasure but he couldn’t believe the look on her face. Breathing heavy, flushed from taking him down her throat. Her hand moved along his length faster. 

“Tell me when,” She murmured, eyes moving from Josh’s face to her movements around him. 

Josh nodded, trying to stay still. Overwhelmed. “Now.” 

Her lips reattached to his head, sucking a little harder, while her hand still worked near the base. Josh’s hips bucked in time with the spurts that hit the back of her throat and she clenched around nothing, wishing more than anything that she was brave enough to attempt penetrative sex in public. 

She pulled off and swallowed, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth with a tired sigh. Josh’s satisfied smile watched her in awe, tucking himself away after a few moments of heavy panting. 

“Jesus Christ,” Josh breathed, petting at her hair before bringing her to kiss his lips. “Thank you. Wow. Just… so talented.”

“Josh Kiszka not having the right words,” She smiled against his lips. She pulled away and ruffled his hair. “I must be good.” 

Josh sputtered, jumping to his feet and following her to the side of the door where she was grabbing her coat and extra stuff. 

“Do you need a ride home again?” 

Josh scratched at the back of his neck. “Uh, I guess. Can’t really go out there and tell ‘em I need their keys when I was supposed to have left 20 minutes ago. Plus they’re probably expecting me to come pick them up eventually so I need my car for that.” 

“Josh,” She stopped his rambling. Her hand pressed flat against his upper chest, bringing his eyes to hers. “Relax. My jaw’s too tired to give you another stress relieving head session.” 

Josh shut up and nodded. She smiled, pleased with herself. They grabbed their stuff and headed for her Volvo after she locked the green room door. 

“Driving you home like you’re my little bitch,” She stated half-way through the drive she now knew without directions. 

“Shut up.” Josh sounded annoyed but really he was smiling, staring out at the passing streets. 

When they pull up to his house, Josh pauses. “Do you wanna come in?” 

“Can’t tonight. See you soon though.” 

She kisses his lips tenderly, cupping his strong jaw in a way neither of them had ever expected. 

-

Mid December and the semester was over. Their short film was a success. It was the last Thursday Greta Van Fleet would be performing at Lover’s Inn until the new year. Josh and Y/N hadn’t had time to talk about them with the rush of finals and getting the film in in time for screening. There had been stolen kisses during late final cut editing nights and in the empty hallways of the film building, but nothing else. 

Josh had arrived with Y/N, helping her set up so that she could be done early and they could have alone time before the rest of the band started to arrive. They were so excited to be done with everything, so pleased with themselves, that they were hurriedly making out against the snack table, unable to keep their hands off of one another a moment longer. 

So wrapped up in one another, exchanging words of teasing and searing lips against soft skin, they don’t hear Danny and Jake walking in.

With Y/N pressed against the table, Jake and Danny get an eyeful of her hands on Josh, one on his waist pulling him closer and the other grabbing at his right jean-clad ass cheek.

Danny whistling loudly and Jake clapping his hands together leisurely cause them to spring apart. Josh spins around, flushed and out of breath while Y/N adjusts the top of her shirt that Josh had pushed to the side for more access to her skin. 

“About time,” Jake says with a happy smile, stalking to place down his guitar case. 

Danny laughs and Sam walks in shortly behind them, silent for a moment, appraising the situation before understanding and exclaiming: “To the happy couple!”

Josh groans at his brothers’ smug looks before smiling. She laughs, hiding her head behind Josh’s shoulder in mild embarrassment. Everyone cheers and it feels silly that they ever detested being in the same room as one another. 

During their final performance, Josh waxes eloquent about his wondrous time he’s spent on this very stage. He thanks everyone and then pauses, searching the audience for Y/N. 

“Now this next one goes out to my lover,” He says as he winks. “You know who you are!” 

The crowd goes wild and a softer than usual guitar riff comes in from Jake’s playing. 

“August, honey / Tasted sweeter with you / Sticky fingers / From your own residue,” He sang.

Jake got to kick up the guitar. The three guys even sang the little backing ‘ooh’s into their mics that were rarely used. 

“We don’t talk about it / We don’t have the time / We thought love was something / We weren’t meant to find.”

Josh’s voice is a perfect fit for the cover, she thinks it sounds even better than the original. 

“But don’t you remember / August, honey, you were mine!”

It hurts her heart to realize why her name was ‘August’ in Josh’s phone and not for the asshole-ish reason he had originally told her. Sure, they’d met in August three years ago, that was still true, but she’d also mentioned this song to him. When they’d first been paired up freshman year, he had asked her what the song was that was paused on her phone when he handed it back after typing in his number. Always being scatterbrained, especially at 18, he must have written it over her name…And it was ‘August’. 

-

[smoking-jakelane]

Str!ke

Greta Valentines

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader!insert

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: fluffy fluff, little makeout session, mentions of bad childhood/ bad relationship w parents | all in all really just heartwarming jake boyfriend

Summary: Jake has planned a Date for you since you completely forgot about Valentines Day.

I saw this post from @seenoversundown and I KNEW that I wanted to write a little blurb to the Valentine's Day theme. So I picked the Bowling Date idea

Soo here it is! I hope you enjoy. Please note: English is not my first language so ignore weird wording or idk anything that you think makes no sense. My dms are open for everyone in case you want to know anything or just to say hi <3

"Could you like, at least tell me where we are going?"

"Absolutely not my angel." Jake said as he mindlessly caressed your thigh with his hand.

"Uurgh." You pout and lean back against the headrest of the passenger seat.

You hear Jake laugh as he turned the music up.

You closed your eyes even though they were covered with Jake's bandana.You silently tapped your feet to the beat, thousand thoughts wandering through your brain; wondering where the hell you two would go this evening was the main one.

The last week has been very stressful to say the least, so you were more than thankful for Jake to make up for it. It did catch you by surprise when he came home today and told you to get ready. When you asked him more than one time what he had planned,he smiled to himself and kept quiet.

You felt the car making a turn and eventually coming to a stop. You turn your head to Jake in anticipation to finally get your vision back.

"Come here." Jake said in a soft voice and carefully turned your head away from him so he could untie the knot at the back of your head.

You grabbed the cloth from your eyes and pinched them together as they were adjusting to the light.

The neon red colored arrows pointing to the entry of the bowling alley catched your eyes. Your lips turned into a smile as you progressed and you turned back to Jake who was watching you.

"We're going bowling? Babe that's awesome!" You laughed as you leaned in and gave him a kiss.

He cupped your face with one of his hands and pulled you back in for another, more deep connection. You sighed into the kiss as you felt your heart beat faster and the warmth of his fingers spiraling from your cheek through your body.

You were at loss for words and even thoughts.

Jake was the first to break the kiss. You didn't even notice that you two were losing yourself in a whole makeout session in the middle of a public parking lot.

Jake brushed the strands of hair out of his face and smirked at you. "As much as I'd want to continue this, I also would like to not miss our reservation."

You giggled at his words. Even after more than two years of dating, it felt like you were still at the start with how much emotions he brought up in you with just the simplest of things he did.

Whether he brought you something from a shopping trip that made him think of you, or the little notes he left on the counter to let you know he loved you and couldn't wait to come home again.

He felt like home. He brought peace in your hectic life and thoughts. Sometimes he could silence the whole world around you and all what mattered stood right in front of you. With hair that reached his collarbones, eyes that had just that sparkle to them and a little mustache which made him look older than he was.

"Oh before I forget, I got something for you. Saw it in a window and immediately thought you would like these."

"Jake..." you tried to stop him but he silenced you with his hand. You softly swatted it away from your face.

"I just wanted to say that you didn't have to do all this. I mean it's a normal Friday evening. What is all this for?"

"Okay look." He stopped and took both of your hands in his. His thumbs slowly stroked the back of your hands.

"I know that you've been busy as hell the last couple of weeks. I feel it the way you are asleep almost every day when I come home. And how you have no motivation or energy on the weekends. So since today is Valentine's Day-"

Oh shit.

He was right. Today was Valentine's Day. You absolutely forgot! Your heart sank and so did your eyes. You were ashamed for the way you neglected him the past weeks and the way he put it in perspective for you now. The sting in your chest hurt and you didn't dare to look at him.

"No don't you dare my sweet angel." You felt his fingers at your chin, slightly tilting it upwards to make you look into his eyes.

"I love you and I want to do anything I can to help you take the load off of your shoulders. You shouldn't feel bad for having a stressful time. Remember me when we prepare for touring? I know how hard it is. And how you are always there for me. So let me do this for you. I swear I love seeing you smile about things that I did. It's an immense boost for my ego you know."

He ended his little monologue with a wink and a playful smile. All you could do was listen and feeling yourself so full of love for this man in front of you. You didn't know how on earth you deserved him.

He squeezed your hands briefly before releasing them. His hands grabbed something from inside his Jacket and handed it to you.

You looked at the item in your hands. It was a black square box with a small satin bow sitting on top. You couldn't wait to see what's inside but you wanted his approval to open in right here in the car. You looked back up at him and he gave you a slight nod.

With your pointer finger and thumb you pulled on one side of the bow and let it fall down in your lap. Slowly you opened the box and let out a silent gasp.

"Jakey..." you whispered and he laid his hand on your thigh.

Inside the box was a pair of beautiful silver earrings. They looked like little swords and had some kind of rhinestone in the middle of the handle.

You began to smile and looked back up at Jake. "They are beautiful, oh my god.." He smiled with you, glad that you liked them as much as he did.

"So.." he started as he began to put away strands of your hair so he could change your earrings. "I think you might know for what these stand."

Of course you knew.

"Starcatcher." You smiled and he nodded.

"Exactly. I thought that when you eventually join us on our next concert, you might as well want to match."

He finished changing your jewelry and looked you up and down.

"Stunning." He said and patted himself on the shoulder; proud that he found something so fitting for you.

You couldn't help but laugh. That was his way of showing you his love, but also playing it down like he was a shy school boy.

His eyes had a spark to them and they seemed  to enchant everybody within reach. But right now, right here, they were sparkling just for you. You held your arms out and he immediately leaned in, returning the hug.

"Thank you Jake. I love them. And I love you." You nestled your head into the crook of his neck, the cold silver of the little daggers on your ear sending shivers down your spine.

You breathed in his cologne, mixed with the smell of hair conditioner you both shared. The love you felt for him filled your head and heart.

When you ended the hug his hands were at your shoulders and he looked you in the eyes. "I think we should get going now." He quickly placed a kiss to your forehead before he turned to get out of the car.

You smiled to yourself and opened the passenger door.

——————

"Yes, I found you guys. Reservation for 8pm on the Name Kiszka right?" the Lady at the reception had a friendly smile and her hair was colored in a soft purple.

Jake nodded and gave her the number of your shoe sizes. She turned around and searched for them before returning to the desk. In the meantime you let your eyes wander over the many bowling alleys. The light was dimmed and the air kind of thick.

It wasn't too full, maybe three or four alleys still unused. You smiled to yourself. It has been a while since the last time you went bowling.

The lady returned to the desk and handed you the shoes. "Thank you and have fun you guys." She smiled polite as she let her eyes fall back to the monitor in front of her.

"I love your hair, it really suits you." You said and smiled at her. She immediately looked back up and raised her eyebrows in surprise. You caught her offguard by the way it took a moment for her to react to your words.

Her face began to visibly light up and her hand flew to the strand of hair that was hanging loose from the messy bun. "Oh my god thank you so much!"

You felt your heart grew big in your chest. That was exactly why you started to give other people compliments. It was your mission to make the people around you feel good about themselves.

Nowadays, those words slipped easily out of your mouth. But that wasn't the case right before you've met Jake.

From your childhood on, you were surrounded by nothing but egoism. Your parents, your siblings; everyone put themselves first without thinking about how others might feel. In the end all they did was hurt themselves and the people around.

Everything inside of your body was rebelling against this behaviour they showed you. So you wanted to change. It was a hard battle, especially when you still lived with them.

When you moved out of your parents house and in your own flat, that was the turning point for you and your life. Finally, after years, you've felt at peace. Not only with yourself but also with your parents. It was in your hands when you wanted to see them. And that was almost never the case.

While you were working in that little music shop in Nashville you've met Jake. He was there almost every weekend renting out a huge variety of guitars and basses. Jake always wanted to talk to you, even though he almost never had enough time to do so.

And when you weren't there, he let your coworkers give you little handwritten notes with questions or random stuff that were going through his brain.

He never failed to make you smile.

You felt Jake's hand in yours and he patiently smiled at you before he led you to your designated bowling alley.

„I love the way you're always in your head after giving away compliments to strangers." Jake said with a soft voice.

You looked at him while he smiled to himself. „Stalker!" you laughed and softly shoved him.

When you arrived at your Bowling Lane for the night, Jake typed in your names in the little computer. You sat down and looked at the drinks menu, deciding that a little alcohol would be the right perfect way to go.

Shortly after Jake was done, the waiter came and you ordered for the both of you, knowing exactly what he would want to drink.

"Ready to get destroyed?" Jake asked and wiggled his eyebrows with a devilish smile.

"Uuh cocky." You smiled and got up from your seat. "Let's hit it."

————————

„I absolutely destroyed you there you know that?" the satisfaction of winning against Jake made your cheeks hot and your heart pumping in your chest.

„I'm never going again! It's not fair how good you are!" he playfully whined and slowed down in his steps.

You didn't notice as you kept walking to your car. You felt so happy, this whole evening making up all the stress from the last couple of weeks.

Your slightly drunk mind was still singing that one song that the bowling center played in the background and you started dancing on the sidewalk. You hummed the melody of the song and let your arms sway from side to side. As you turned around while dancing you caught Jake standing still with his phone pointed at you.

He sheepishly smiled at you and stored it in his back pocket before making his way to you. As he came closer, you tilted your head up and put your hands on your hips.

„Did you just film me?" you said and squinted your eyes at him.

Jake came to a stop, just millimeters from your body and you could feel his breath on your skin.

„I wanted to keep this as a memory." he whispered and put his hands around your shoulders.

You smiled and layed your head on his chest, his heart producing a steady beat. „Oh Jakey... thank you so much for tonight" you sighed and closed your eyes.

„Not for this Angel." Jake smiled and softly kissed your head.

When you released yourself from the hug, he let one arm laying around your shoulder as you continued your way to the car.

„Oh did I tell you about how I absolutely ended your bowling career?" you started again and the vibrations of his laughter shook both of your bodies.

„You're going to hold that against me forever, aren't you?" he said while smiling down at you.

„Oh absolutely I will."

[starcatcher-gvf]

Back and Forth - Chapter 1

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Danny Wagner

Word Count: 2.2k

Hello, everyone! This is my very first attempt at writing with a set plot, so please forgive any grammar mistakes. This is only the first chapter, so more will come eventually! Also, this will become more smut-filled, so MINORS DNI. I hope you enjoy :)

Warnings: Language, smoking, eventual smut (stay tuned!!), frottage if you squint, making out

______________________________________________________________

Finally, Jake could be alone. He briskly walked into his green room and slumped against the door just as it closed. He tipped his head back, closed his eyes, and sighed in relief. Finally.

After a hectic day of rehearsing for this next show in a city Jake can barely remember from exhaustion, his only thought was laser focused on his jacket pocket containing, not one, but two cigars. He needed to smoke the edge off. God, he needed at least one drag to get him through.

On a typical day before a show, Josh, Jake, Danny, and Sam would arrive at the venue sometime around noon, rehearse and jam for a couple hours, grab some food (or libations), and meet back at the venue for wardrobe, makeup, and sound check. But this day was completely thrown out of whack. Their regular sound techs they’ve been touring with got a flat tire on their bus, leaving them and half their equipment two states away, so now they have to compensate this loss of crew by making the crew they do have work twice as much to set everything up. This means all the boys had to arrive closer to 9am to work out the kinks in the sound systems with their instruments. And after the previous night of drinking too much and sleeping too little, Jake was feeling the effects of his bad habits catch up to him.

They just got off the stage after about 5 hours of sound check. Josh looked like he was close to tears and had to walk outside some to get some fresh air. Sam’s tousled hair looked way more tousled than usual due to his stressful tic of running his hands through it. Danny…where did Danny go? Jake wasn’t sure, even though he was sitting next to him on B-stage. But it didn’t matter now. All that matters is that Jake could now be alone with his thoughts…and his cigars.

He picked up smoking them before a show a couple years back when a venue in Europe brought them into his dressing room on a platter like hors d'oeuvres. Jet lag and that same creeping feeling of stress haunted him like it did now, and he lit that pretty little cigar and felt his brain fog melt away with every exhale of that thick smoke. And now he craved them before almost every show.

Lucky for him, this room had a window he could crack. He didn’t necessarily want to hotbox this room and set the sprinklers off just before makeup. He walked across the tiny room and lifted the window, but it would only crack a couple of inches. That should be enough, Jake thought.

The loud screech of a chair resounded in the room as Jake dragged one across the floor near the window. He sat down hurriedly, pulled out one of his precious cigars, and fished for his lighter in the opposite pocket.

Then there came a knock at the door. Jesus fucking Christ.

“Yeah?” Jake called to the unknown person outside his door.

“Jake?” The unmistakable voice of the band’s drummer rang out in response. Thank God, Jake thought with a breath of relief. I still have some time.

“What’s up, Danny?”

“Can I come in right quick?” It wasn’t unusual for Danny to hang out with Jake, and only Jake. Being the quietest in the band, Jake and Danny formed an unspoken relationship: if any one of the two needed to escape the hustle of band life for a few minutes, the other could be there to ensure some peace and quiet.

“Of course. Just close the door back,” Jake replied.

Danny’s tall form was now visible in the doorway. Jake noticed he was wearing one of those tight-fitting T-shirts he wore so much, this time in black, and he wore a pair of dark blue jeans with a pretty worn out pair of black Converse. Jake smiled to himself noticing this. He’s had those since, what, 2017? He seriously needs some new shoes.

The door closed back, and Danny put his hands in his jean pockets and huffed a sigh. “That sound check was NEVER gonna end, I fucking swear.”

“I know, right? If Josh’s microphone cut out one more time, I was gonna actually throw it across the stage.” Jake’s temper had gotten to the point where he was contemplating slamming his guitar down and taking a couple laps around the venue just to escape the large but foreboding arena.

Danny’s eyes traveled down to Jake’s hands, one holding the lighter in a loose grasp, the other twiddling his cigar between his middle and ring fingers. “Lighting up, are we?” Danny inquired in a playful tone.

Jake’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, as if he had forgotten what he was doing for the past five minutes. “Oh, yeah. My mind is everywhere right now, and having the occasional cigar kinda…I don’t know, ‘mellow’ isn’t the right word.”

“No, I get it,” Danny said nonchalantly. “When we first started touring, and I mean the big big tours, I would have Sam roll me a joint before we even got dressed to go to the venue, and we’d toke up at his house right before getting an Uber.”

Of course Sam got him on that one. As far as Jake was concerned, weed made him feel too loose and carefree during a show. Jake preferred the slight buzz of nicotine mingling with the already-strong vibrations surrounding him on stage, along with a couple drinks to pair it with.

“Did you want one? I packed an extra in case I needed a bit more, y’know?” Jake reached again in his pocket and pulled out an identical cigar, reaching towards Danny to take it.

“You don’t mind? I’ve been jittery to get something all day.” Jake could tell before Danny even said so. His prominent fidgets have been manifesting themselves all day, just like Sam’s: legs bouncing, wiping his hands on his jean legs, staring off into the void.

“Yeah, man. Go ahead.”

Danny took the cigar from Jake’s hand and felt his back pocket for a lighter, but his face scrunched in confusion. “Can you light me up right quick? Don’t have my lighter on me.”

Jake, already lighting his cigar and letting a small stream of blue smoke escape the tip, looked toward Danny. “Yeah.” He leaned over slightly in his chair to reach Danny’s tall figure with the lighter.

Instead of taking it, Danny just held the tip of his cigar to Jake. Embarrassed, Jake fumbled to rearrange the lighter to where he could flick it to life. After a couple tries, it caught, and the cigar came to life with smoke, but it didn’t burn like normal. Way too fast. Dammit, it’s stale.

How did he not realize this before bringing it? He would have felt how hard the cigar was in his hand before stuffing it in his pocket, would have felt the leaves of tobacco through the paper. He must have been in such a hurried state as to not notice, and he felt horrible for giving Danny the unsmokable one. “Shit, sorry, man. Don’t smoke that shit, it’ll give you a headache.”

“It’s okay, I could just share yours,” Danny suggested.

Jake stared up at Danny, mouth slightly parted in surprise at his suggestion. Sure, they’ve been close for years now but never that close. Both parties were too shy to suggest this so upfront, but it seems Danny’s need for some type of high broke that barrier. Jake swallowed the spit pooling in his mouth and handed him the cigar, offering Danny the first smoke.

Danny didn’t look away as he took it, didn’t even notice the ash from the tip fall onto one of Jake’s boots. He leaned against the window pane and looked out onto the cityscape and blew out blue smoke into the crack in the window. Then he coughed.

“Damn, Jake! What’s in this?”

“It’s just a Cuban blend. Give it here, you’re gonna let it burn all up!” Jake snickered as Danny basically hacked up a lung trying to recover. He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the sill. Inhale, exhale. Simple as that. Jake could already feel the nicotine-induced wave of relaxation cover him like a thick wool blanket. The sky outside was already growing steadily dimmer as showtime came closer. Jake checked his phone screen, reading the time 6:27pm.

“Think we can finish this thing in thirty minutes? Makeup should be coming around sometime then.”

“Sure. If you’d pass it.” Danny reached over to snatch the cigar back, eager to give it another go.

“Uh uh, this is mine. I get to decide when you get another hit.” Jake reached his arm back as far as he could, just out of Danny’s reach from their standing-and-sitting positions. Danny’s face soured, and he went back to staring at the numerous skyscrapers and people walking by the building. Jake inhaled and exhaled again, letting the smoke drift in the room instead of blowing it out the window. Feeling generous, he gave Danny the cigar back.

Danny let out a triumphant “hmph” and inhaled. Though his face was slightly strained, he kept the smoke in his lungs for a few seconds and blew it out without a hitch.

Into Jake’s face.

Jake, caught off guard, just stared into his face again. His face felt hot but he wasn’t exactly sure why. He didn’t feel mad, nor did he feel embarrassed. There was something so…domineering about Danny at this moment. Him being able to be overtaken and put in his place so easily…it felt different. What’s going on?

Danny picked up on this shift in…whatever was happening. He cleared his throat and handed the cigar back to him while looking at his feet. “I should probably get back to-”

Jake stood up and stepped as close to Danny as he could without him colliding into his chest. Their faces were inches apart. Jake took a long, agonizing drag, one that hurt his lungs worse than the first time he ever smoked, and let the smoke fall out of his mouth. It lingered on Danny’s face a while before Jake’s mouth connected with Danny’s.

Danny stilled as Jake closed the distance off, but he eventually melted into the way Jake’s lips felt on his. Cracked, but not painful. Jake snaked his arms around Danny’s torso and lingering on his upper back, pulling him down closer to his level. Danny leaned down slightly and cupped Jake’s face with one hand while placing his other hand at his waist.

Jake’s mouth parted slightly, letting the remaining smoke in Danny’s mouth. Danny’s mouth tasted somehow like comfort: a faint tinge of mint mixed with cigar smoke and pure, unadulterated Danny. Jake felt like he could get a buzz just on the way Danny felt and tasted in his mouth. Their tongues mingled and tasted each other as Danny pushed Jake farther back until Jake’s back hit the wall.Danny placed the hand holding his waist against the wall behind Jake and pulled Jake’s head down by the hair with his other hand. A defeated whimper erupted from his throat as Danny started peppering sloppy kisses along his neck and behind his ear.

Danny wasn’t too sure what was happening but was letting his inhibitions fall away and giving into his primal desires. He noticed, as Jake was pressed against the wall, one of his hands pressed against Danny’s chest still had the cigar grasped between his fingers. At least Jake was still coherent enough to not let the burning end brand Danny’s chest like he was a steer. He plucked Jake’s cigar from his hand and inhaled the smoke while looking directly into Jake’s lust-blown eyes.

Danny placed both hands on the wall, trapping Jake as Danny met him with another kiss, this one full of smoke. Jake placed his hands on the waistband of Danny’s jeans and pulled his abdomen closer by his belt loops. Jake felt pressure on the front of his pants and moaned quietly into Danny’s mouth, a sweet sanguine sound of pure desire, lust, passion.

Danny pulled away abruptly. Jake opened his eyes and looked at the man opposite him with confusion and worry. What did I do? Is he okay?

“What the fuck are we doing, dude?” Danny completely disconnected himself from Jake, leaving him against the wall to contemplate everything that had led to this moment. Danny chuckled under his breath and itched his neck: another nervous tick that Jake knew very well. A sign that Danny wasn’t sure what to do next.

Jake swallowed and put his hands in his pockets while giving no attention to his hardness making itself known against his jeans. “We should probably get ready for makeup now, it’s about time.”

“Yeah, okay, sure,” Danny replied hurriedly. He made his way to the door again but stopped. “Hey, Jake?”

“Yeah?” Jake’s heart skipped for a second before Danny turned and held out the mostly-burnt cigar back to Jake.

“Forgot to give this back.” Danny then turned back to the door and walked out. He let it close softly.

Jake’s mind was ceaselessly reeling and turning, trying to figure out what exactly compelled him to start that. But as he smoked the last of his cigar, he smiled. Before Danny walked out, he noticed a matching hardness against Danny’s jeans.

[samkiszkasfacialhair]

Just You and Me

Just You and Me

Pairing: Sam Kiszka and Female Reader

Summary: Sam discovers the secret to making his infant daughter happy.

Warnings: Girl Dad Sam

Word Count: 2.7k

At around 4 AM you were woken up to the sounds of screaming and crying. It was a combination of the sound of distant cries coming from down the hall and the static sounds of it coming from the baby monitor next to you. 

Before you even opened your eyes, you felt the bed move and heard the sound of your bedroom door opening, followed by the sound of four paws hitting the floor and trotting out the room before the door shut again softly.

The crying continued through the speaker on the monitor but was soon mixed with the sound of Sam’s soft voice. You picked up the monitor and squinted as you looked at the bright light of the screen, giving you a look into your daughter’s nursery. The time on the monitor showed 4:27 AM. 

“Well good morning to you too,” Sam said sweetly to her in a tired voice as he scooped her up from her crib and into his arms. 

He bounced her around for a few minutes, thinking she just needed a little love and some cuddles to go back to sleep. Her crying continued for a bit but faded into whines as Sam comforted her.

“Shhh, come on, sh sh sh. Daddy’s gotcha,” he said softly.

He kissed the top of her head and continued bouncing her around gently in his arms. 

It was becoming clear to Sam that she needed more than just a little rocking back to sleep. 

This wasn’t something Sam was used to. He had only gotten her at night a few times before. And in his defense- he didn’t ever need to. She was a good at sleeping through the night in her own room. For the past few weeks, she had been waking up, however with a little love from either of you, she would fall back asleep quickly. But not this time.

He held her in his left arm, unzipped her sleep sack with his right hand, and gave her diaper a pat.

“Woah, that's a lot of piss,” he laughed. “Let’s get you all fresh. Maybe that’ll make you feel better, hmm? What do you think?” he continued as he walked over to her changing table.

You loved the way he talked to her. He talked to her as if she could understand everything and answer back. 

He laid her down to change her and as he put her down and out of his arms- instantly her crying started up again. He gave her a tube of diaper cream in an attempt to distract her and keep her occupied but she threw it to the ground. Rosie walked over to it and sniffed it out for a few moments before returning to her spot at Sam’s feet.

“I know, I know. I’ll pick you up again in a second,” he said as he held her still with his hand over her stomach as he reached for wipes and a fresh diaper. 

She cried through the entire diaper change and continued crying even when Sam was done changing her and held her again. He gave up on cradling her, figuring she wasn’t going back to sleep any time soon, so he let her sit up.

“We gotta get out of here or you’re gonna wake Mom up,” he groaned as he shifted her from one side of his body to the other and walked out of her bedroom with her. Little did he know, you were already very much awake.

He brought her downstairs into the living area and a second camera picked up his movements and showed the two of them on the screen. 

He took her into the kitchen and opened the freezer. He looked around, pulled out a teething ring, and handed it to her, hoping she’d bite down on it. 

She took it from him, looked at it for a second, let it fall to the ground as she smushed her face into his shoulder and rubbed her tired face on his shirt.

“Okay, we have to learn the phrase ‘No thank you, Dad,’” he said to himself in annoyance as he looked at the frozen toy on the floor and kicked it out of his path. 

Rosie followed the toy as Sam kicked it away and pushed it around on the floor a bit. 

He opened the fridge for another attempt at something that may please her. 

“You wanna eat, Baby? Hm? Are ya hungry?” 

Sam took out all the fixings for a bottle and got to work.

It took him twice as long as normal because he knew if he put her down, the crying would only get worse again. Plus, the baby had a grip on his hair which prevented him from moving his head all the way. He balanced the baby in his left arm while his right hand did everything else. 

Rosie stood at his feet and followed his every move, causing him to trip over her and have to gently nudge her away with his foot so he could get what he needed and move around the kitchen.

“Ugh, Rose, come on,” he groaned as he struggled to twist the cap of the bottle on while Rosie circled around him.

To say he was struggling would be an understatement.

It took everything in you to just watch and not get up and help him. If it was you, you’d scoop her up and feed her without having to make a bottle. Then she’d fall asleep while eating and you'd just place her back into her crib until morning.

But Sam figured you were asleep and he wouldn’t want to wake you up. Besides, you knew he felt bad about himself when you would swoop in with your “mom touch” and make everything okay instantly where it would take him a couple tries at anything before it worked.

It made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. Like he was a bad parent. Like this whole “dad” thing wasn’t for him and he wasn’t cut out for the next 18 years. Like everyone who told him that he wasn’t ready for this at his age was right. And like he was letting down the one little person who matters the most in this world to him, and he didn’t know what to do to fix it.

He wanted to be the one to bring her comfort and happiness for once. And even though it killed you to see her so upset and see him struggle and get frustrated, you figured whether he knew it or not, Sam may have needed to do this on his own more than he needed you to help him right now.

He sat down on the couch with your daughter and laid her in his arms. He held the bottle to her mouth. Instantly, she turned her head away, put her arms in front of her face, and wouldn’t take it. She fought him a few times, turning her head and closing her mouth so that he couldn't even get the bottle near her mouth. She continued crying but it was like a gargle. He didn’t want to force her but after a fresh diaper and a cold toy didn’t soothe her, this was his next best idea.

“I know I’m not Mom, I know. But come on, try for me please. I wish I was sucking on Mom’s tits too, trust me,” he joked, trying to make some fun during a stressful situation. 

She opened her mouth again to cry and Sam shoved the bottle in. Her head shook from the left to the right in an attempt to get it away but once she realized there was milk coming out of it, she took to it.

Now holding a quiet baby, Sam sat back with her in his arms and rested his head on the back of the couch. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the silence. You could see him starting to doze off. 

Any relaxation he felt was over the second she finished the bottle. The empty bottle fell out of her mouth and onto the floor and Sam snapped back awake when her cries started up again.

“Shit,” he said to himself, both surprised and a little mad at himself that he fell asleep with his own child in his arms. 

He sat up and rubbed his eyes with his free hand before moving her over his shoulder to burp her. 

“Come on, be a good girl for me,” he said as he patted and rubbed her back gently.

You couldn’t hear it but she must have burped because Sam pulled her off his shoulder, looked at her, and said, “That was a big one!”

After a while, he wasn’t getting any more out of her and she started to rub her eyes with her hands and rub her face on his shoulder again.

“Are you finally tired, Little One? Yeah? You want to lay down in your swing?” he asked as he walked her over to the swing which was placed right next to an armchair. 

And of course, the second he let her go and put her in the swing to buckle her in, she started crying again. 

He clicked a few buttons on the top of the swing and instantly, it started moving back and forth and playing baby lullaby music. It was piano music that typically sounded nice. But the batteries were fading so the music came out sounding warped.

Sam sat on the floor next to the swing for a few minutes until he had had enough. 

Her cries on top of the terrible sounds of the music finally got to Sam. He slammed his hand on the speaker and hit the button to turn the music off. He had been at this for over an hour with no progress and no end in sight.

A golden hue began lighting up the house from the sunrise outside.

He leaned his back against the chair.

“I changed you, I gave you toys, I fed you, I burped you. I did everything,” he sighed, “What do you want?” he pleaded as he sat next to the swing with her crying and squirming as she glided back and forth in it. 

He put his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his hair. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. Now he looked like he was going to cry.

He ran his hands down his face and pulled down on his cheeks so his eyes were now forced open. He kept his hands like that for a second, pulling the skin on his face down. 

The sunlight coming through the living room windows lit up the corner of the room where Sam had a single guitar propped up against the wall. 

It was as if a lightbulb went off in his head.

He got up off the floor, grabbed the guitar, and sat down in the chair next to the swing, resting the guitar in his lap. He pulled his hair up into a bun before picking up the guitar to play it.

“You know,” he began, “Grandma said that when I was a baby, I always fell asleep with your Great Grandpa Frank’s music. So maybe that’ll work for you. Let’s try, hmm?”

He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before he began.

He started softly plucking at the strings, allowing the house to fill with a beautiful, light song. 

You recognized it right away.

Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles.

Sam played it soft and slowed it down. He started humming the melody as he played.

Little by little, as Sam played, the crying faded once again. But unlike every other time, it faded and didn’t come back. It faded into whines, which faded into sighs, which faded into deep breaths. For the first time since your daughter woke up, everything was at peace.

Sam kept playing, getting a little lost in the music, until he realized what happened. 

He stopped and looked down at the baby sleeping peacefully in the swing next to him. 

He smiled at her and then smiled to himself, looking down at the guitar. You could tell he was proud of himself but even more proud of where his idea came from. 

He placed the guitar on the floor and pressed a button on the swing to slow it down.

“Goodnight, My Angel,” he whispered.

He sat back down on the couch across from her and pulled his feet onto the cushion. He leaned his head on the pillows and pulled a blanket down from the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Rosie jumped up on the couch and rested her head on Sam’s legs. 

At that point, the time on the monitor read 6:15 AM.

You got out of bed and went downstairs to see Sam, Rosie, and your daughter all sound asleep.

Slowly and quietly, you pulled your daughter out of the swing, took her upstairs, and placed her in her crib to sleep safely without waking her up. When you set her down in her crib, as she laid down comfortably for the first time since she woke up, you watched the tiniest smile creep onto her face. It was Sam’s. She had Sam’s smile. 

You waited a few minutes in the room to make sure she was still asleep and then, you went back downstairs to see a snoring Sam curled up on the couch. 

You picked up the guitar, placed it back in the corner of the room, and sat on the couch next to Sam. You brushed your hand over his head and brushed the little hairs at his hairline back with the rest of his hair. 

He took a deep breath in and blinked a few times. He let out a breathy groan as he woke back up again. 

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion for a second and then sat up to look over at the swing. He gasped and his eyes opened fully when he saw that it was empty but relaxed when you brushed the top of your hand over his cheek and whispered to him.

“Relax,” you said, “She’s still sleeping. I put her upstairs.”

Sam looked at you with half open eyes. They were tired and just a bit swollen. He looked like he was still dreaming. 

“You wanna come back to bed, Daddy?” you asked softly.

He nodded and rubbed his face. 

“Come on,” you whispered.

You got up from the couch and Sam followed behind you. Rosie jumped off the couch and headed for her dog bed by the chair as the two of you lazily walked back upstairs and into bed.

Upon entering your bedroom, Sam threw himself down in bed and cuddled himself up next to you. He pulled you in close and rested his chin right next to your shoulder.

You could feel the warmth of his exhales from his nose and his scratchy beard on your skin.

You reached behind yourself, grabbed the back of his legs, and pushed them in closer to you so his body was completely pressed up against yours.

His hand reached for yours and he placed it in front of your stomach, rubbing little circles on the top of it with his thumb. The movements of his thumb slowed down as he fell into sleep again.

“You’re a good dad, Sam,” you whispered.

“Mm, you think so?” he mumbled into your shoulder.

“I know so,” you assured him. 

He was quiet for a second before he spoke again.

“You were watching on the monitor, weren’t you?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you giggled.

Sam didn’t reply but you felt his mouth form a smile on your shoulder before he gave it a gentle kiss. 

“Love you,” he whispered lazily.

You turned your head over at him to give him a kiss on the lips but when you did, he was already fast asleep. 

His eyes were closed, he was breathing deeply, and his mouth was slightly open. 

You kissed him anyway- just the tiniest, most gentle kiss. 

When you pulled back, you watched the outer corners of his lips tug to form a small smile. It was that same little smile you saw on your daughter when you put her back to sleep. Except, now you were looking at who it came from, her dad, who you both loved more than anyone in the world. 

Songs:

Matt Harke- London’s Song

Author’s Note: With all due respect, Samuel, babe, let me make you a daddy.

Also, the cover art I made from this is based off of edited pictures of Sam I saw on twitter a while ago. They edited the colors and the grain on the original Sam pics. I simply added the baby and the text. If you know who edited the pics of Sam, let me know so I can credit them! 

[hailthegodsong]

ive got a hurt/comfort fic in the works but dk who to write it about

i cant really write sam very well and i cant really see jake being the character but idk

[katuschka]

Olalla Chapter Eight

Josh Kiszka x f!OC x Jake Kiszka

9.300 words

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): alcohol consumption, cigarettes, kissing, vaginal sex, allusions to rough sex, jealousy, betrayal, language, loss of an unborn child, trauma, angst, talking about death

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Previous chapter Olalla masterpost

If there's a possibility Today, you'd stay with me I would stop and start anew If I jump, would you jump too? If you want it Let it go

Agnieszka, Zakopane, Saturday

The fog was so thick that day that it made it impossible to see for more than a few metres ahead, and yet I spent nearly two hours standing behind the fence, wrapped just in my sheer black cardigan, looking out for them. 

They were late. It was to be expected, considering both the weather and the traffic that day, but it still made me nervous and the feeling only kept growing with each passing minute. Jake had texted me, so I knew they left Krakow shortly after lunch. It was now almost 3 pm and still no sight of them. Each and every passing car made my heart jump and skip a beat. Hearing footsteps behind me, I tried to appear outwardly calm, but dad still noticed my agitation.

“Come inside, Neszka, or else you’ll catch a cold. You’re shivering.”

I had a secret ally in dad. When I told my parents that Joshua and his brother Jake were coming back, mother just rolled her eyes and mumbled something about “madness in this house”. But dad, he smiled knowingly and patted me on the shoulder, just like now. He knew this meant a lot, because I was wearing a flowy dress in the dreary weather. I must have looked completely deranged, standing there in just my flip flops and shuffling around on my toes. Like one of those crazy young wenches from folk songs, although I was no longer that young, which only made it worse. But he understood. 

“I’m fine. Any minute now,” I mumbled, looking towards the sharp bend on the road once again. Doing that, I felt like a young girl once again. I indeed was shivering, but with anticipation. At the same time, I was dreading the moment of their arrival. I didn’t know what to expect. 

He disappeared inside the house, only to reemerge a minute later with a hip flash. I laughed nervously when he handed it to me: “For the nerves.”

“Is it that obvious?” 

He just smiled. I took a healthy swig without hesitation. And because I hadn’t eaten much that day, the effect was immediate. I could feel the wave of warmth spreading at the back of my head as well as between my legs. However, even the sudden lightheadedness couldn’t prevent my heart from starting to flutter in my throat as soon as I saw the car that was here just two days ago. 

We quickly opened the gate and I still clung to it as my dad motioned to them to drive inside, shoving them their designated parking spot. 

Our eyes met briefly when the car passed me on the gravel driveway. The sight of him and the look in his eyes made my stomach drop again. What if this was a mistake? What if he didn’t want to come and this was yet another bad decision we had made… I bit my lip and closed the gate slowly, when I heard dad already greeting them in his own, enthusiastic style. “Zapraszamy! Zapraszamy ponownie. Come!” That brought me back from my reverie very quickly. Jake was the first one to get out of the car, and was now shaking hands with my dad, obviously taken aback by the sudden flood of words and not understanding a single one. Both amused and terrified at the same time, I quickly scuttled towards them. “Dad, slow down! You’re scaring them. Sorry, Jake, I…” 

“Veela, hi!” He pulled me into an embrace with a smile. I genuinely shivered this time. He pulled away and placed the back of his hand on my cheek, frowning. “Uh, you’re cold, babe! Have you been waiting here the whole time? Sorry we’re late. I should have texted. I just…”

“...got us lost three times because he always took a wrong turn on the fucking roundabout.” 

Before I could fully process the “babe”, my head snapped towards the source of that familiar honey voice and now I watched them – even more flabbergasted – flipping each other off. Joshua shot my dad a meek apologetic smile before his eyes finally met mine. “Hello, Olalla,” he almost whispered. 

No warm embraces, no happy reunions. This is why I dreaded their arrival, because I feared it would be like that. What now? He kept standing there, with his hands in his pockets and that unreadable expression on his face again. We couldn’t act like two strangers. That was unbearable. I mustered all my courage and went around the car to greet him properly. I could see what Jake had meant. He looked different, and really not very well. His hair was significantly shortened, probably because of the shaved patch around the scar behind his left ear that went well beyond his previously trimmed sidecuts. There was no point in keeping the long braid, and he was left with a messy turf of dishevelled short curls at the top of his head. 

But that wasn’t the biggest difference. He could be completely bald and I wouldn’t notice as long as the familiar frisky light shone through his beautiful eyes. But it was gone. He was also significantly thinner than the last time I saw him. His pale, slightly hollowed cheeks and the dark circles below his eyes made me feel suddenly mournful for the lively boy that got lost somewhere and I wanted to do anything I could to bring him back. “Are you hungry?”

No, I couldn’t think of anything better to say at that moment. Would you?

“No, not really.” He tried to smile and took my hands in his, and we just stood there like a young, awkward couple being forced to dance. I kept looking at him, as if hypnotized, searching for any sign that would tell me he wanted to be here. But once again, he just kept stroking my knuckles. “He’s right. Your hands are cold. Silly girl…”

“Come on Josh, let’s get inside. It’s drizzling.” It was Jake, ending our ‘little moment’ abruptly with a sharp tone of his voice. “And yes, he’s hungry. Mrs. Sikorska made us dinner and you’re gonna eat it, fucker!”

My mom indeed did. She might not have been happy with the whole situation, but she always relished in any opportunity to feed anyone. So, after they unpacked and got comfortable, we met downstairs for a feast, because that’s what it was, for the lack of a better word. 

“Do you greet everyone like that?” Jake asked me, obviously amused. 

“Oh no, absolutely not…just relatives, friends, friends of friends, most of the neighbours and stray rockstars,” I replied, slightly embarrassed, but encouraged by his warm smile.

I think that was the first time I heard his genuine, heartfelt laughter. 

Jake was really a sweetheart. He kept thanking profusely for everything, making my mom grin from ear to ear. I could tell she liked him, even though he was maybe a bit too bohemian-looking for her taste. It was obvious he knew how to win a woman’s heart, and not even a language barrier could stop him from doing his magic. It was amusing to observe their interaction. It was also clear that he was a natural. And sincere. When he took a bite of a strawberry pierogi, his eyes widened with delight. “Josh! We loved these! Remember?” It was met only with a soft “hm”. 

We shared a few worried glances, me and Jake. A few with my dad, too. Joshua noticed, but he chose to ignore it, just as much as all our attempts to cheer him up.

He ate at least half of his portions and really tried to be polite, but he just seemed distant. His smiles were forced and never reached his eyes. It was heartbreaking to watch, because that was not the man I got to know. He didn’t say much during the whole time. But to be fair, he was giving the same silent treatment to Jake. So, it ended up with me and Jake talking about roundabouts and tilt-turn windows and other things that baffled him, until my dad completely hijacked the evening.

At one point he disappeared in the cellar and came back with a bottle of juniper brandy, pouring everyone a shot. Everyone except Joshua, because of his pain meds. He insisted that he wanted to hear more about the band, and while I tried to stop him, trying to argue that it wasn’t the best time, that they were probably exhausted, Jake insisted that it was completely ok.  At first they forced me to be their interpreter, which proved to be completely unnecessary after a few more shots. In the meantime, Joshua just kept sitting there, looking sullen and weary, trying to smile every now and then, but not really participating. 

 In my slightly inebriated state, I turned to Jake and whispered to him that we should maybe call it a night. 

“He’s fine,” he hissed back. “And he needs company. Been buried in that hotel room for too long.” I didn’t argue, but I had a nagging feeling that he was talking more about himself. 

So, while Jake and my dad kept working on mastering their secret, cringy sign language, I finally mustered enough courage to slide my hand across the table hesitantly. To my relief, he took it, enveloping my fingers in his clammy palm. I noticed Jake side-eyeing us warily.

Joshua paid it no mind. He rested his head on his other hand and smiled lightly. “So, how are you?”

“Fantastic,” I lied and reciprocated the smile. The mixture of feelings clouding my brain felt far from ‘fantastic’, but I was just happy to be close to him again, even though it was painful to see him broken like that. 

“Em sorry for this,” I motioned towards the other two. “You must be tired. And bored.”

“No, I’m fine. I say stupid and mean shit when I’m drunk. Don’t you?!” His grip on my hand tightened while he looked up and bore his mournful eyes into mine, and it felt like a whip slash across my cheek. I was left speechless, completely taken aback… Yes,...yes, I did.

I…Joshua, Em…”

“Let’s talk about it when you’re sober.” 

Next to me, I heard Jake clear this throat. “It’s late. Maybe I should take Josh to his room. He needs to rest.”

“For fuck’s sake, Jake! Stop talking about me as if I wasn’t even here. I’m not a toddler.” His voice resonated through the room and all eyes turned to him.  

“Then stop behaving like one!” Jake spat, but his features immediately softened when Joshua clutched his forehead, clearly in pain. He stood up and patted his brother on the shoulder, while casting me an apologetic smile at the same time. “C’mon Josh, let’s go upstairs. You really need to get some rest. Sorry.” 

I needed a cigarette. Desperately. I hadn’t had one in years, but I just couldn’t help it. Unable to drive in my intoxicated state, and still in my dress and flip flops, I walked all the way to the nearest gas station to get a pack.

Like a madwoman. 

My bare shins felt completely wet after a while in the drizzle. So did my cheeks. There’s something eerily calming about foggy, early autumn evenings. The weather is still mild enough to allow for long whimsical walks, with the spectral atmosphere of dying nature that makes you turn your attention inwards. The muddle inside my head desperately needed some introspective cleanup. 

And nicotine. 

I wholeheartedly enjoyed the way my head was spinning. Drunk in love. What a nauseating feeling. When you’re still quite cheerful, but you already know you’ve had too much. 

Was I cheerful? I shouldn’t have been. But I couldn’t help it. He was here. 

Acting like… a jerk? 

Wasn’t his fault. And my god! He was still so fucking beautiful! I needed him to stay that way. It was now my mission to make him better. 

The sky was clearing while I was on my way back and a few stars blinked through the dissipating clouds. Surely a sign, huh? The cool air sobered me up a bit and I wanted to stay outside just a little bit longer. 

Back home, I opted for the garden bench swing. Curling up under a blanket I grabbed on my way there, I finally lit my much-desired cig. A couple inhales later, I could feel that familiar sense of calm spreading throughout my whole being. I closed my eyes and swung one leg down to ground myself, because my head was still spinning a bit. 

“It’s cold.” 

I opened one eye tentatively. It was Jake. Having been lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t hear his footsteps on the overgrown damp grass. I looked up, expecting him to continue, but that was it. Jake was a man of a few words. I chuckled when I saw him: Just him standing next to the bench swing, looking around the garden and me wondering if he was able to see anything at all because of the sunglasses, in spite of the overcast and the fact that it was already almost dark. I think he understood the meaning behind my amused smile, because he finally took them off sheepishly. 

“Yeah…yeah, it is, I think…” I replied at last. “But I hope you’re not here to talk about the weather. I was made for more sopsh..tikated discourse,” I said smugly. 

Yes, I was still a bit drunk.  

He gave me a Mona Lisa smile and made a simple gesture with his hand, asking me without words if he could sit next to me. I nodded and shifted a bit to make more room for him. I also offered him a cigarette, which he accepted. 

“Yeah, I can see that. I mean, aren’t you?”

“Cold? No…we Gorale are used to cold weather. This is nothing but a cool evening breeze,” I sighed contentedly with a lazy smile, letting the said breeze swipe across my heated face again. It was true. We never got lulled by hot summer days, knowing too well how fickle the weather could be. Just like the human mind. Or our fate. You want to survive? Well, better brace yourself. I had tried, and obviously failed, but I was determined to try again. 

The truth was that both my feet and hands were already ice cold, but he didn’t need to know that. 

“So you’re basically highlanders.”

“We’re literally highlanders. That’s what the word means.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“For not knowing Polish?”

“For his behavior.” 

That sobered me immediately. It was exactly the topic my hazy mind had been trying to avoid. I glanced instinctively towards his roof window, but it was completely dark. Not even a bedside lamp was switched on, apparently. “Is he sleeping already?” Jake followed my gaze. 

“Yeah, probably…or maybe just lying in the dark, I don’t know. I hope you’ve not sad.”

“Sad? No…no, I’m not sad…I think? I’m definitely not shocked. It’s definitely how I feared it would be. He…It just feels like he’s not happy to see me. Like he’s even mad at me, maybe.”

“No…don’t believe it for one second. If he’s mad at anyone, it’s me…and himself.” He paused to light his own cigarette and exhaled a puff of smoke in the air above us before he continued. “His face lit up when I told him we were coming back here. It was short-lived, replaced by that sullen stare very quickly, but make no mistake. He’s happy to be here. He’s just scared.”

“Scared? Of me?” 

“Um, no, not really…maybe a bit…but…Is there something you’re scared of losing, because it would mean you’d lose an essential part of yourself?”

His question made me smile. Of course there is. I motioned towards the southern skyline where the outline of Giewont was still visible in the semi-darkness. “Home. This. I mean, not just the rocks and the trees. The place, my family, being able to take care of other people...it’s hard to explain. It’s the peace of mind. Away from the world’s troubles. I studied tourism in Krakow; most of my former schoolmates secured cool and fancy jobs for themselves. Even here in Zakopane, I could pretty easily be a manager of one of those luxurious new hotels, but I chose to return back here deliberately,” I motioned towards the house. “We care, you know? About one another, about the place, about other people who want to experience it. I think that if it weren’t for this place, I’d probably be a social worker or something. It’s just something I need to keep doing. It’s what my grandma taught me. People need people.” 

Jake smiled softly but didn’t look at me. He just nodded, partly lost in his own thoughts. “You’d be the prettiest social worker I’ve ever met. Not that I’ve met many social workers. Not really my social bubble…,” He chuckled when I punched his shoulder. 

“Jake! I’m serious! But thank you…”

“I know. Sorry. It’s just…that last line sounded eerily familiar, so I just wanted to lighten the mood. Err, anyway,” he cleared his throat: “For me, it’s the playing. Sometimes I feel like it’s the only thing I’m good at…and I almost lost it before I even started. See?” Holding the cig in between his pouty lips, he rolled up his sleeve to show me a long scar on his left forearm. 

“Wow, that’s an impressive scar!” I may have sounded a bit too overzealous, because he turned his head at me, his eyes open wide. He was still smiling, though. 

“Impressive, you say?!”

“Yeah, sorry,” I laughed. “It’s just something boys at school would say back when I was little. Like a badge of courage, or something like that. They would brag about it.” We laughed together. 

“Yeah, it’s bitchin’, isn’t it,” he chuckled while examining it one more time before his face sobered. “Back then, I didn’t feel that way. I broke my arm in middle school. It was nasty and I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to play the guitar again. I played it cool, didn’t really want anyone to see what was going on inside my head, but later, in the middle of the night, I just couldn’t take it anymore, and I kept weeping and sobbing in my bed until late at night…”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“No, there’s more to it. What I really wanted to say is that…we shared a room, me and Josh and our younger brother Sam. So, I was just lying there and crying and letting it all out, you know, because I thought the other two were fast asleep. And then I felt my bed shift. He snuggled closer and wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear that everything would be ok. It took a while until I calmed down, but he was there for me the whole time, repeating that it would be fine, that I would be able to play again. And I believed him. The fact is that the injury allowed my play even better eventually, and to this day I think it was all Josh’s doing. Because, that’s who he is. He wants to fix people. His heart just overflows with love and it’s his life mission to share it. And lately, he’s been thinking that he’s just damaged everything and everyone. And that scares him.”

The temperature dropped during the time we sat there and I felt it deep inside my bones. But it was a different kind of chill. The cold air may have made my cheeks prickle, but the tightness I felt around my stomach and my heart had nothing to do with it. I swallowed hard and asked the question that’s been bothering me ever since that moment in the dining room. “Does he remember what happened right before the injury?”

“I don’t know. Bits and pieces. Most of what he told me was before you arrived at the hospital. He said you two had some argument and then you went looking for him, obviously. Why? Is there something more?”

I could feel tears welling in my eyes again, so I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath to prevent it from happening, but he already noticed. His hand on my shoulder internally startled me, but I didn’t wince. I really needed some form of human contact. 

“We actually had a big fight the night before the storm. I’m sure he remembers that. Whatever had been between us, I basically ended it, and he was about to leave early. I think he already had a plane ticket when he went on that one last hike.” I thought I would start crying again but instead, a strange sense of calmness enveloped my whole being, as if it was something that was finally over. I felt different. 

“You need to understand how I used to be. I wouldn’t say no to a pretty guy, to put it diplomatically. It was just my perverted way of dealing with a previous heartbreak and it never meant anything. I was engaged once, but then…but then I just had acquaintances, but no boyfriends. At first I thought he was yet another visitor that could make another day more palatable, but then something changed. I really liked him, you know, and I didn’t want to. Part of me kept refusing him, but another part kept being drawn to him. The more insufferable I was about that, the more relentless he seemed in his own endeavours. Even after I learned that he liked guys. Even then he made me feel beautiful and wanted me to feel love...if you know what I mean.”

He kept listening without interrupting me, only nodding from time to time, or reaching out for yet another cigarette. It was obvious that we would finish the box pretty soon. Only when I got to this part of the story, he finally spoke.

“Yeah, I suppose I know what you mean…and then?” he asked softly and let out another plume of smoke, before he held the lighter for me to light another one of mine.  “...and then I learned the whole story and I suddenly felt like he never meant it. I felt used…which was very ironic, as my own sister reminded me very soon after that. Anyway, I said some mean things to him…”

Jake huffed through his nose, nodding his head. “Yeah, he remembers this. Listen, I can’t blame you. I mean… He’s not perfect. But I don’t wanna judge him, because, honestly, I’m way worse…” I wanted to speak up, but he made a dismissive gesture with his hand and continued. “I really wanted them to get together again, you know, him and Christopher, but I guess sometimes things are beyond repair...” 

“Jake…” 

“But if – at the end of the day – you feel like you’re past it, just let him know how you feel, because...”

“JAKE!”

“I’m long past it. I wanted to tell him the very next day, but then the storm hit and he didn’t come back. That’s why I was asking if he remembers anything that happened right before the injury, because I told him up there… At first I said that when he was already sleeping, like a coward. And then I said it again and again while we were waiting for help, but he was drifting in and out of consciousness. But there are things I didn’t tell him, and now I think he really should know.”

“Such as?”

“He really did fix me. If that was his goal, it was successful. I may be heartbroken, but I’m different. I simply can’t believe he managed to do that in a week! Others have been trying for years. I know it sounds absolutely crazy. He shouldn’t leave without knowing.” 

“Hey, veela, listen…” 

A sudden gust of wind interrupted our little talk and I shivered violently. “Ok, I guess that’s enough. Let’s go inside,” he basically ordered. “It’s late anyway.” 

“I’m not tired yet,” I protested as he was literally pushing me inside, and I yawned immediately after, which made me giggle and hiccough. 

“Oh, Jesus,” he laughed. “I can see why he likes you.” 

We continued the little banter all the way up to my door. “But I have one more question!”

Jake rolled his eyes exasperatedly.”Yeah?”

 “You said you’re way worse,” I giggled again. “I hope you don’t mind me asking what you meant by that. I’m in the mood for some rock&roll gossip as my bedtime story.” My old nosy self was back at it again. But just like Joshua, he didn’t seem to mind, although Jake was generally way more curt.

“Nothing interesting, I’m afraid. Just me being an ‘asshole who was never around.’ It never made the headlines,” he chuckled sarcastically, but quickly recovered himself when he saw my frown. “Sorry. I mean, me being ‘way worse’ means that sometimes I’m being mean on purpose. You were on the receiving end too, so you should know. Goodnight, veela,” he squeezed my shoulder again with a sigh before he disappeared upstairs. I shivered again.

In spite of certain things that had happened, namely the havoc Bartek had caused previously, our place was still relatively safe and secluded, offering much more privacy than a hotel room in Krakow. The media storm that followed the accusation was not yet over, but they were pretty much out of the wind here, so to speak. We could keep them safe, so that me and Jake could focus solely on Joshua’s recovery. And we did. I made sure of that. 

Jake told me that he spent a lot of time on the phone, talking to their lawyers during their stay in Krakow. The photos David previously posted on his public accounts were a very strong evidence against his latter claims, but Jake just wanted to settle to make it all go away as quickly as possible. 

The two of them spent most of the time outdoors, as fresh air and plenty of light exercise was essential for Joshua’s speedy recovery, and Jake was positive that enough time spent in nature would help to heal his mind as well. I joined them whenever I could. We wandered through the woods and climbed the lower hills. Sometimes, I could sense that Joshua started to feel uneasy when we wandered to higher altitudes, so I quickly changed the route or made us turn back, even though we never got past the tree line. Sometimes we just took a walk around the town, eating donuts or grilled cheese with cranberry jam. 

We spent a lot of time talking, me and Jake. I learned a lot more about the band and I told him embarrassing stories from my college years. Joshua rarely joined the conversation. He was a few steps ahead of us most of the time, lost in his own thoughts or just looking around, or both. A few times he took his camera with him and spent the whole time taking pictures. Once I squatted by the side of the path to observe a tiny snail on a mushroom, until the sound of a shutter startled me and when I looked up, I saw him pointing his lens at me. He turned away quickly and took another picture of the landscape. 

Once he lent me the camera so that I could take a snap of the two of them by the stream. ‘For mom,’ as they said. It was almost like a vacation. Almost…

My mom started calling them Kuba and Jozko, much to their amusement and my dismay. Gradually, she grew fond of them. Well, at least one of them.

Joshua kept driving her crazy though. He ate only half of what she prepared for them, even though I had warned her about the meat. She was stubborn though, convinced that she could ‘talk sense into him’...and failed every time. 

It was different with Jake. He had her wrapped around his finger pretty soon. It was partly because he often insisted on helping us in the kitchen. She wasn’t having it at first, because “her kitchen wasn’t a place for men”, let alone our guests, but once she learned that he in fact could cook, she let him do whatever he wanted. 

“The dark one is handsome,” she said once when we were washing the dishes. 

“Mom, they look the same.”

A high pitched “Eh…” was all she said and I resumed scrubbing the pot. 

“But I really wonder what you’re trying to achieve here,” she continued after a while. 

“They’re paying customers, aren’t they. Everything else is my business, and not your concern.”

“Eh…” she scoffed again. “But don’t expect me to scrape you off the floor again.” 

On the fifth day, we finally made him laugh. 

We went out for dinner for a change, and I chose one of the pubs with live music. At one point, Jake persuaded me to dance, even though there wasn’t enough room and everyone was looking at us. Joshua was watching us with a wide grin on his face. 

“Jake, look!” I gestured towards the table, grinning myself and completely out of breath. 

“Ready for one more dance?”

“I don’t know, maybe…” Before I could react, Jake was already by the table, drumming on the lacquered wood with his fingertips. “C’mon, big bro, chop chop!”

He needed some persuading, but at last, I found myself in Joshua’s arms again, bathing in his radiant smile. 

It was getting better. 

The mood changed completely and as the evening proceeded, I watched with delight as the two of them were making jokes and teasing each other. Sometimes I tried to chime in, but I was no match for the two of them.

And then it happened. Joshua was cackling like a little child, and he couldn’t stop. It was contagious and I soon joined in. He grabbed my shoulder to steady himself, and buried his face in my neck, nuzzling his nose against my skin. I froze. It was pleasant, more than pleasant actually, but it left me stunned. Jake’s own smile slowly turned to a melancholy stare. I watched him across the table, waiting for him to break eye contact or smile again, but he never did. He just kept watching me until Joshua finally recovered and straightened up. Only then he averted his gaze. While Joshua got back a portion of his glowing personality back, Jake remained in this strange, broody state of mind until we got back home. 

I still had some work to do in the kitchen that evening, because my dining outside didn’t save me from my regular duties, while the guys went back to their rooms. Mom tolerated my frequent absence during their stay only as long as the work was done. I was heading back to my private flat when I heard some strumming coming from the common room. It was a beautiful, plaintive melody. Our guests sometimes used the room for singing and playing various instruments, but this was different. Intimate and almost ethereal. Drawn by curiosity, I hesitantly entered. 

It was Jake, sitting on a fur-covered bench by the electric fireplace. I recognized the guitar immediately. For years, it stood propped up against the wall just behind the corner, collecting dust. 

Jake acknowledged my presence by the doorway and motioned to me to come and sit next to him. He didn’t stop playing until he finished playing the whole song, and I just sat there with my hands in my lap awkwardly. I felt like an intruder, but then he smiled and bowed his head, like a true entertainer. 

“It’s a truly beautiful melody… very mournful.”

“Yeah, I wrote it this spring on one particularly mournful morning. It’s called Lulu’s Lullaby.”

I always admired artists and their ability to transform life into unfiltered beauty. If it comes from the heart, there’s always a story behind it, and I’ve always found it intriguing. “I would say that this Lulu is a lucky girl, but the song doesn't sound happy at all.”

“My imaginary daughter. But I don’t even know if it was a daughter. I just always thought of angels as feminine.” 

It was as if he poured a bucket of ice cold water on me. Sometimes I’m worse than a blunt hammer, really. Speaking before thinking. Of course it couldn’t be about some lucky girl. What was I thinking? “Jake, I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t be. That’s history. I mean, it's just yet another nice tune now, I suppose. I still play a lot of other songs that are about something which is no longer true or relevant. Anyway,” he cleared his throat and made an attempt to sound a bit more cheerful, before I had a chance to say that something like having happened just a few months ago doesn’t sound like history! And the way he played it… “Those strings are ANCIENT!”

“Yeah…more than six years,” I replied absentmindedly, still shocked. Meanwhile, Jake seemed on a mission to lighten up the mood. He clearly didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“I was almost afraid to tune it. I refuse to wear an eye patch unless it’s a temporary fashion statement. Yours?” he patted the wooden body gently. 

“No, it belonged to my ex-fiancé.” 

“Damn. What got in his head that he left two such beauties here?” he exclaimed dramatically, making me huff. We were even. 

“A stone.” I tried to keep a straight face, secretly horrified by my own tasteless joke as well as the fact that the whole situation suddenly seemed comical to me. But it was just my old personality, with my Monty Python-ish sense of humour, peeking through the musty curtain of doom. It made me realize – with a slight shock – that I was really, finally, completely over it. Dominik was a happy memory. 

Jake looked perplexed.

“Joshua didn’t tell you? He’s dead.” I watched in slow motion how his face changed from confused to horrified. It was now my turn to ease the tension.

“Don’t worry. There’s a reason why the strings are 6 years old. That is history.”

And that was a lie.

“Well…no, truth be told, it was my everyday reality until very recently. But I had a good therapist.” 

“Oh…,” he breathed out as the realization finally hit. 

“He used to teach me to play, though. Dominik, I mean,” I pointed at the guitar. That’s why I kept it. I was never good at it. I always struggled with barre chords. Got cramps after a while.” 

Jake suddenly shifted on the bench and threw one leg over the bench, moving closer to me and handing me the instrument. He was sitting sideways right behind me now. “It’s easy. Lemme show you. You just need to relax this muscle here, and rely more on the thumb. The rest is practice, as these muscles get stronger. Let’s try that.” I took the guitar from his hands hesitantly, too surprised to even protest, and waited for more instructions. 

“So, let’s try the F chord first, whaddaya think?” His chin was almost touching my shoulder now and I could feel the heat emanating from his body. So familiar. He was making me slightly nervous. I tried to focus on the task ahead instead and positioned my fingers to press the said chord, biting my lip in concentration. I tried to play it, but all we got was an unpleasant, rattling sound.

“Oh, I see it now!” He snaked his left arm behind me and wrapped his fingers around my wrist to push my hand gently into a better position. “Relax the pinkie just a bit, you’re too tense. Press again…Yeah, like that. Strum it now.” 

I tried again, and it worked. “Wow,” I laughed, turning my head slightly sideways towards him and froze when our eyes met. He was looking right into me and I could feel his hand move, but instead of withdrawing completely, he rested it on my lower back. “Jake?” I whispered, unable to move. He raised his other hand and brushed his fingertips across my lower lip. They travelled slowly across my cheek until he cupped my jaw and all that time I just sat there and let him move even closer. He closed the gap between us eventually and I gasped softly when our lips touched. It encouraged him to deepen the kiss and I still did nothing to stop him. I was barely aware of him taking the guitar from my hands and putting it on the table next to him. He took my face in his both hands then, and when the tip of his tongue darted tentatively in between my lips, I felt them part and I heard him moan. Only then I consciously made myself stop, startled. I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away. 

“No,” I whispered. With my mind still trapped in that strange haze, I slowly stood up and turned to leave, as if in a dream. “Please…” he whispered back and grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. That sobered me up completely.

I turned back and pointed my finger at him frantically. “No! I don’t know what game you’re trying to play now, but just…no!”

“Veela, I…”  

“Stay away from me! Are you testing me, or what? Oh god, you’re such an asshole.” I stormed out of the room, shaking, and angry, and confused, and sad, and I don’t know what else. I just didn’t know how to interpret it.  

I, however, knew exactly what I wanted. It ignited something in me and the idea of spending yet another night alone in my bed, lost within my thoughts, scared me. Without really thinking, I found myself climbing the attic stairs. It was a basic human need. Just like thirst, equally unbearable. I had been pining for him for so long, and he was just within reach again. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I needed to feel him again. Everything else be damned. 

I knocked first, and a feeble “come in, it’s not locked” followed. I slowly pushed the door handle down and tentatively entered the room, only to find it shrouded in complete darkness.The light from the hall illuminated the outline of his body on the bed. He was lying on his back under the blanket, with his eyes staring fixedly at the ceiling. He turned his face towards me and watched me - or rather my silhouette - in the door frame for a while, surprise evident on his face. I realized he expected it to be Jake. “Joshua? Did I wake you?”

“No, no, I’m just resting. Please, come in,” he repeated softly and turned towards me, resting himself on one elbow. I closed the door behind me, shrouding us in near darkness again, and tiptoed towards his bed. 

“Is me being here ok?” I whispered. 

“Yes. Yes, completely ok. Please, darling, sit.” He patted the mattress right next to him, and I did, placing my hand on the blanket next to his. 

“I needed to be with you.”

I heard him swallow harshly. “I needed to be with you, too. I’m glad you’re here, Olalla.” He placed his hand on top of mine, stroking it gently. 

“Can I join you?” My question was met with silence. I almost lost all my remaining courage and wanted to go back, when he finally spoke. 

“I’m naked.” 

I didn’t know why…or rather, I knew very well why…my heart started beating wildly. “Even better,” I tittered, though it sounded more like a sob. I felt his body shift and he lifted the blanket, inviting me in. I shed my slippers quickly and slid next to him, with my arms folded. I didn’t dare touch him yet. “Hey,” I whispered. 

As my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, I could now see the prominent features of his face. “Hi,” he breathed out and smiled, and his fingertips traced the outline of my left cheek. “I think you should take off your clothes. This is not fair, you know.” I felt his hot breath on my face and I closed my eyes as his hand slid under the blanket. He stroked my arm all the way from my shoulder to my bent elbow, and then continued further down until he reached the hem of my shirt and slid his fingers under. I gasped when he touched my bare skin, and as if on cue, his lips brushed delicately against mine. “You do it,” I whimpered and he kissed me in earnest, making my heart pound against my ribcage.

“I was afraid you’d never come,” he whispered against the flushed skin of my cheek when our lips finally parted. After he pulled my shirt over my head, he struggled with my legging in the darkness, making us both giggle. Completely naked at last, I pulled the blanket over us again. 

“I didn’t know you wanted me…” My fingers slid down the hot skin of his abdomen and grabbed his already hard dick, making his whole body twitch.

“Silly girl,” he moaned as his hand slid across my back and he pulled me closer to him. For a while, we just lay there kissing and caressing each other, savouring the moment. I needed more. I needed him inside me again. Pushing him on his back, I straddled him and slid a hand between us, making him gasp. I positioned myself quickly and slid the tip of his dick inside. His back arched and his mouth opened in a silent scream. I crashed back onto him and attacked his neck with my lips ferociously just as he pushed his length inside with one swift thrust, fighting for dominance.. “No, baby, it’s my turn,” I steadied him and pushed my knees forward for better leverage. “Keep still and let me play.”

“Naaah,” he gasped as I started moving. “No, I won’t.” He tried to thrust in me again, disrupting my rhythm. 

“Yes, you will,” I groaned as I grabbed his shoulders and straightened myself up. “You’re my patient, after all, remember?” I rolled my hips playfully and he yelped. “My wounded baby,” I did it again. I loved listening to his moans. “My poor little thing,” and again…

I underestimated him. Thinner than before, he still had enough strength in him, especially when my teasing made his body pump adrenaline into his system. He pushed my right knee back, grabbed my hips and turned us over in one swift motion, accentuating his point with a sensual deep thrust. “I need to do this, darling. Don’t argue.” I couldn’t even if I wanted to, because he silenced me with his tongue. I felt the pleasure take over every particle in my body and I surrendered to him completely. We melted into each other once again. 

They say that you can find the truth at the bottom of the bottle of wine. Likewise, I think that postcoital phases are the best time for telling that truth. There’s something magical about just resting next to someone who just made love to you. 

“Joshua?”

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t fail to give me love.” I groped in the darkness in search of his hand, and took it in mine when I found it. “I wanted you to know that. You gave me more than plenty. In fact, you gave me so much love that it scared me. I didn’t expect it. I behaved the way I did because I was afraid to accept that gift. But you already know that, and you fought that stubborn and stupid creature in me selflessly.” I heard him exhale heavily and he squeezed my fingers in acknowledgement. “What you do not know is that you made me love you. That’s another thing I want you to know. I didn’t want it to end like that, but I cherish that feeling now, and I don’t exp…”

I felt him shift next to me quite abruptly and before I could finish the sentence, the fingers of his other hand found my flushed cheek. He turned my face to him and silenced me with a heated kiss. 

I didn’t want him to ever stop. We just fucked a moment ago, but the feeling of his plump lips playing with mine was making me lose my mind even more than the orgasms he gave me. When he finally broke the kiss, I felt mournful, but only for a spoilt second. Only until he spoke. “Don’t you ever say that you don’t expect anything, because you deserve everything! I love you too.” 

He loved me. 

I weeped while he stroked my hair. 

We didn’t get much sleep that night. I was beginning to see a pattern. While he was quite romantic and sensuous in bed, when we got in the shower it was as if the devil himself got into him and I only prayed that I wouldn’t have any bruises the next day. Back in the sheets and completely exhausted, we finally dozed off. 

I woke up long before dawn, soon enough to be able to prepare an early breakfast for those who ordered it the day before. Praising my internal clock, I kissed the top of Joshua’s head and slowly tried to drag my sore body out of bed, only to be pulled back by two grabby hands.

“Do you really have to?” he mumbled, while nuzzling the nape of my neck. 

“You know I do. But tell you what...I’ll bake you an apple pie for breakfast, hm?”

“The one with whose sugary crumbs on top?” I nodded and he finally released me, disappearing under the blanket again.  

I quietly creeped out of the door, expecting the house to be dark and empty, but there was a sliver of light under Jake’s half-closed door and I heard some rustle in the kitchen below, while a discreet, automatic night light was illuminating the adjacent hall. A moment later, Jake emerged at the foot of the wooden stairs with a cup in his hand, eyeing me warily. He must have heard me too. 

“You’re already awake?” I asked quite unnecessarily. 

“I haven’t slept yet,” he mumbled. “Did you? You look tired.” The sudden venom in his voice made me feel guilty, even though there was absolutely no reason why I should have. “I…”

“Don’t bother, I heard. Those rooms share bathroom walls, you know? Well, of course you know,” he hissed as he was passing me on the narrow staircase.  

“Why are you being such a dick about it? You wanted me to reach out to him.” 

“Yeah, and you reached pretty far. I guess what you needed was just a little nudge.” His face was once again that hard and arrogant mask that I learned to both fear and hate not so long ago, his cold eyes so startlingly similar to that shiny pair I loved so much, yet so different at the same time. 

“Stop this!” I whisper-shouted back, still trying to be as quiet as possible, but unable to control the rage that started bubbling deep inside me. “I did nothing wrong. AND he’s your brother for god’s sake!” 

I hit a nerve. I obviously didn’t matter, but his twin did. His features once again transformed into that broody, melancholic look he had in the pub or while he was playing the song. He looked defeated. “I know. I just can’t sleep and that makes me cranky, so…maybe I should try again to get some sleep so that I'll be less insufferable later. I’m sorry for what I did, veela. Good night.”

“Jake,” I whispered. “Please don’t tell him anything.”

“I’m an asshole, not an idiot.”

“No, you’re neither. I didn’t mean to…” I took a few steps back up towards him, but he stopped me with a dismissive hand gesture. 

“You were right, though,” he said before he disappeared into his room.

During those two following weeks, Joshua spent most nights in my lodgings, where no one would hear us. It was an insane time, and we were both insatiable. I kept swallowing him, he kept devouring me. We fucked like rabbits in my kitchen, we ravaged each other in my bathroom, and we made love in my bed. 

I should have worried about all the possible future consequences of our behaviour, because if I had loved him before, I was now becoming literally obsessed. I couldn’t pass him in the hall without kissing him. We were like two infatuated teenagers, hiding behind every corner, giggling and groping each other. 

Jake went to buy new strings, and came back with a brand new guitar. It was the last time I saw him smile. He spent a lot of time playing it in the garden when the weather was fine, or hidden in the corner of the common room when it was raining. His brother joined him a few times, but as their stay was coming to a close, he mostly kept to himself. 

We pretended the kiss never happened. Not only he never tried to do it again, we hardly ever exchanged more than a few sentences. I missed the friend I got in him. We went back to where we started, being barely civil with each other. Joshua noticed something was wrong, but I think he interpreted it simply as Jake’s disapproval of what we were doing. I guess he wasn’t entirely wrong. 

I felt guilty. Even though I kept telling myself that I had no reason to feel that way, because I did nothing wrong, I felt guilty simply because I decided we wouldn’t tell him anything. It was partly a very selfish decision, but both me and Jake also knew that the consequences would be dire. 

I still kept wondering why he did that. 

…and at the same time I didn’t want to think about it. It made my head hurt. 

But in spite of that I felt so happy for that short while. We walked around town hand in hand quite often. Sometimes he just made me feel brand new. It was like a dream from which you don’t want to wake up. And then you have to. 

Two days before they were supposed to fly back home, we took a walk in the park right before sunset. It was a beautiful cloudless day and the whole northern part of the mountain range was visible from this part of town. 

“I don’t want this to end,” he broke the silence all of the sudden, finally addressing the issue we’d been trying to avoid for a few days. 

And yet it will, I thought. There’s no other option. “There’s really not much we can do about it. And we both knew that. You said it yourself.” 

“No, I don’t believe this. I’m sure there is.”

“Joshua…”

“I’m pretty sure I said that we should live for the present and not worry too much about the future. I’m not going to Mars! We can make this work.”

I smiled mournfully. At least his old, enthusiastic self was back. My work was done. AND this was the ending I had hoped for. Happy memories. Nevertheless, I still asked, simply to listen to him talking. “How?”

“I don’t know. Let’s figure it out. What about Christmas? Let’s…let’s go to Paris!I know, that’s cliche, but…”

“Joshua! I can’t leave during Christmas! It’s the busiest time of the year. Can’t you see? I’m needed here. And your place is elsewhere.”

“Ok, so I will just come back for Christmas.”

“You’re insane. Ok, so Christmas…and what then? Easter? We can’t live like that. Maybe there’s still someone else for both of us.”

“Yeah, maybe, maybe… Listen, let’s make a deal.” He grabbed my shoulders as if trying to talk some sense into me. How ironic. “I will come back for Christmas. Because why not? Seriously. What’s stopping me now?…unless you meet someone in the meantime. Then I won’t.”

“And if you meet someone?”

“Could happen,” he nodded. “I can hardly imagine it right now, but I won’t lie to you by saying that it’s impossible. Anything is possible. That’s kinda my point.” 

He was crazy, and I told him so, but when he asked me to give him one reasonable justification why we shouldn’t do that, I couldn’t think of anything. Everything I had done so far in that past month was done with a complete disregard of any possible future consequences, and it was him who made me behave that way. Ever since our first kiss, or maybe ever since the first time he held my hand. 

We made no sense, and yet we still kept doing this. He told his longtime boyfriend who flew across the world to see him that he indeed did fall in love with a woman at last. At least he thought he did. Reluctantly, I agreed to participate in his insane experiment.

It didn’t make the final goodbye any easier. When the time came, and we hugged goodbye, I couldn’t let go. 

Three months! Almost three months until I would see him again. He promised to call me “EVERY DAY”, and of course, I didn’t believe him for one second. Jake’s amused smirk told me I was right. 

Jake…

The whole time, Jake stood nearby, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets and his head bowed down, examining the tips of his sneakers. I couldn’t let him leave like this. He was my lover’s twin brother, the closest person one could possibly imagine having in this world, and I kept hoping he would be my friend, too. A lot of things had happened between us, but I’d gotten to know him as a kind and caring soul. I outstretched my arms, ready for a hug. It was brief and awkward.

“Can’t you take off your shades even now?” It was drizzling again. 

“No, I’d rather not,” he replied softly before sharing a quick glance with his brother, who clenched his jaw and turned back towards the house, shuffling his feet on the gravel road. I was about to turn, but he pulled me back in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, before he pulled away while stroking my shoulders. “And thank you for everything.” 

I watched them disappear behind the sharp bend while toying with my malachite necklace, and my heart sank. Three months…

Even though things changed, the recurring dream still kept disrupting my nights. It was changing too. There were the three of us climbing now, and Joshua kept wandering off the stony path…

He was still chasing something. Or someone. Everytime he got out of sight, a surge of panic washed through me. Then he reemerged again eventually, but I felt like I kept losing him. 

“No, please don’t,” I called after him. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I never will,” he said, his voice more like an echo, but there were tears in his eyes, telling me he would. I tried to understand that, tried to accept that, but before I could, a warm glow lightened his face and his eyes grew wide, and I felt the same warmth at the back of my head. I turned around to look at the source and I saw it again: the sun setting in the east. Very strange. But it wasn’t the sun. Terrified by the sight, I screamed and started crying, mad with worry and grief. We didn’t deserve this. Nimble fingers grabbed my sides and tried to pull me back. “Come, my love,” he shouted…

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96   @gvfstuddedmajesty @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @tripthelightfantastix @sanguinebats @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @kiszkas-canvas @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @hollyco @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickitty @clownstarr @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @blankvz @psychedelectable

[seenoversundown]

Amongst The Stars: Chapter Six

Josh x Quinn (Nonbinary OC)

Warnings: Shitty Partner (are you shocked?), Craig is Stupid (and we don’t respect him), Mentions of Alcohol, Verbal fighting, Medieval Nicknames, Pining Friendly Care and Concern for your Friends, Almost being injured with a knife.

Word Count: 4.1k

Summary: Josh has always loved love, and he's finally found it. Buuuut, he can't exactly tell anyone. Join him as he navigates the ins and outs of his sweet, secret romance.

Author's Note: This, THIS, is one of the chapters I have been most excited for you all to read. So strap in babies, the story is really getting started now. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. And, as always; our Quinn is a ray of sunlight and Craig is a stinky loser. Alsooooooo — Sorry for any weird formatting issues, I had to post this from my phone because the desktop site wouldn’t let me post 🤨🥲 (I’ll eventually reformat it once the site figures it out)

"But I wish there was somethin' you would do or say To try and make me change my mind and stay" Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right - Bob Dylan

I walk into the apartment and hear Craig banging pots and pans around in the kitchen. He’s mad again. He’s been in a constant state of anger since he found me talking to Josh in the craft store. The anger had been an issue for longer, but it has worsened since that day. He’s been picking random fights over the most minor things. Everything from him not having enough clean socks to my “slamming” the door while he’s trying to nap.

“Hey babe, I’m only here for a little bit. I’m going to stay with Willa tonight. She needs an extra set of hands for a new project,” I yell out, making my way to the bedroom to pack a bag.

I hear Craig stop banging around in the kitchen. I listen, bracing myself for a fight, as he stomps through the apartment behind me.

“Oh yeah? And why can’t she find a different friend to help?” Craig grits out through clenched teeth.

“She could. But she doesn’t want to, and that’s valid.”

“You are always so worried about everyone else but me. And I really don’t think that’s fair to our relationship.”

“What does that even mean?” I’m starting to get angry at this point. All I do, day in and day out, is ensure that our life together runs smoothly. I pick his groceries up. I let him use my car so he can do whatever he does while I’m working to pay our bills.

“I just think it’s interesting that you met that guy from the craft store, and now you hardly want to be in the same room as me.”

“You’re being an asshole because you’re… jealous?” I huff out a humorless chuckle.

“I mean, I guess? You seem to loooove talking to him while I’m stuck here begging to see you in your spare time.” He slams his hand against the door frame. I roll my eyes at his little outburst and continue shoving clothes into my overnight bag.

“Good job, Detective Craig, you caught me! I’m in love with Josh. Head over heels for a man I’ve only spoken with at his job!” I watch his eyes darken with rage as I add a sarcastic round of applause. I’m far too annoyed with him to stop myself from pushing his buttons even more. If he wants to fight, we can fucking fight.

“I uprooted my entire life back home for you, Quinn. I packed up everything I own, threw my entire life in the back of a moving truck, and moved here with you. I did that, and you’re laughing at me?”

“Of course I am laughing at you. You’re being absurd.”

“I’m being absurd?! I didn’t realize it was absurd to want to spend time with your partner.”

“It’s absurd that you’re mad at me over the manager of the store where I get art supplies. It’s absurd that you’re turning this all into a pity party for yourself. It’s absurd that I’ve wasted the last 20 minutes arguing with you when Willa needs my help.”

“It’s absurd that we’re arguing and you’re worried about your friends.”

“I didn’t start the argument, bud. I was content to pack my bag and head out, but you wanted to make it a thing.” I sling my packed bag over my shoulder and walk to the bedroom door as Craig steps in the way to block my path.

“Get out of my way, Craig.”

“If you step outside this house right now, I honestly don’t know where that will leave us.”

“I guess we’ll figure it out later, then.” I duck under his arm and make my way to the front door, grabbing my keys and storming out the door.

I hop in my car and text Willa, letting her know I am on my way. I spent the short drive contemplating the state of my relationship with Craig. Where does he get off acting like I am the problem here? I spend almost every waking moment doing things for him. I do his laundry; I cook his meals; I don’t even care that he doesn’t have a job. I let so much of his bullshit slide. But he treats me like I’m doing something wrong because I want to hang out with my friends. Because I talk to a guy who works at the craft store? When it gets down to it, our relationship isn’t working right now. But, then again, it hasn’t been working for a while. The Josh Thing is just the icing on top of the cake. He has always been jealous and suspicious of me leaning on people besides him. He still sometimes questions my closeness with Willa. He knows we have been best friends for years, way longer than I've known him, yet he is still suspicious.

I slam my car in park once I’m outside of Willa’s apartment complex. I take a few moments to collect myself. I know that it won’t matter, though. I am rarely sad or upset, but when I am, Willa can sniff it out like a bloodhound. She’s always had the unique ability to see directly through me, which is why we’re so close. I walk up to her front door and unlock it with the spare key she gave me the first day she moved in. When I open the door, I am immediately hit with the scent of Willa’s signature sage and citrus candle. I swear she has one burning 24/7, and, at this point, her emotional support candle is becoming mine. I immediately feel myself calm down as I breathe it in.

“Honey, I’m home!” I yell out, setting my bag down in the foyer.

“In the Kitchen!”

I step through the apartment, making my way to the kitchen. I stop in the living room to survey the Throw Pillow situation. Willa thrives in a comfortable space, so I swear there’s at least one new pillow every time I drop by. I stop at her gallery wall next. I let out a soft chuckle, remembering the time that she asked if she wanted me to alter any of the photos from before I came out. “I can photoshop your head or something, but I look good; I can’t just take them down”

This was always her excuse, but it’s because those photos were from easier times. They held a sense of nostalgia for both of us, and neither one of us wanted them taken down. They were photos from our time in college. They were from well before Craig blew into my life, causing issues between Willa and me. It does warm my heart knowing that I still hold so much space on her gallery wall, even after the small wedge he’s driven between us.

I finally walk into the kitchen and see her standing before her table. There is an explosion of flowers surrounding various crystals laid across the table. On the floor next to her, there’s a box of other witchy-looking supplies

“What are you working on tonight?”

“Freelance gig for that new occult shop, Garden’s Gate. They asked if I’d photograph products for their website.” She glances up and hands me a large, white piece of cardboard.

“I need your help nailing this lighting real quick. I’m trying to go for a more whimsigoth feel, but the lighting is too harsh without the bounce board.” I nod my head and pretend I understand what I’m doing. Photography was never my forte.

“And don’t think I’ll forget that look on your face. We will be discussing whatever Craig did once I have this shot.” She quirks an eyebrow at me, then directs me to hold the bounce board in front of her lighting rig. After Willa finishes the product shoot, she finally looks at me. I heave out a sigh, not ready to have this conversation and sit down at the kitchen table. She heads to the fridge and pulls out two hard ciders. Cracking them both open, she sits across from me at the table.

“So, spill.” She says softly.

“Craig and I might be done. I was so mean to him when I got home…” I trail off, hoping she won’t make me spill all the dirty details.

“Mhm…” She waves her hand, motioning for me to continue.

I suck in a deep breath and begin recounting the events of the evening. I try to avoid eye contact with Willa throughout my spiel. Instead, I focus on peeling the label off of my bottle. I avoid eye contact because I already know how she looks at me. Anger in her eyes, a bit of pity. I don’t need pity; I know the situation is messed up. When I finish, I finally look up and meet her eyes across the table.

“Quinn, you know you can’t let him treat you that way, right?” She questions softly, as if trying to lessen the blow of what I already know.

“I know, but I was horrible right back at him tonight.”

“You were horrible to him because he has been horrible to you, and you hit your breaking point. Anyone would do the same. Hell, I’ve acted way worse for way less reason,“she begins to laugh at herself, “Actually, on second thought, I’m not the greatest barometer for anger management.”

I bark out a laugh with her. She’s not wrong; she has one of the shortest and most explosive fuses I’ve ever seen on a person.

“That’s all besides the point. What you need to consider is, yeah, you were horrible to Craig. But, the way you spoke to him doesn’t reflect who you are as a person, and he brought that out in you.”

I’m quiet for a second as I mull everything over. Craig did give up so much for me, for us. But I don't think I can continue living like this. I don’t like the person I was with him tonight. I don’t like that he has the ability to bring that out in me. I don’t appreciate the jealousy that he harbors. That jealousy has led to so much distrust between us throughout the years.

“I have to break up with him,” I sigh, “This hasn’t been working, and I don’t see it getting better any time soon. Especially if he’s gonna throw Josh in my face.”

“I’m not agreeing with him, but you have been talking about Josh a lot. Got anything else you want to share?” Willa looks at me, eyes alight with mischief.

I groan, rubbing my hands down my face.

“Not you, too. Josh is an acquaintance. I’ve seen him once outside of the craft store, and it was by accident.”

“Whatever you say, babes!” She laughs before continuing, “But really, if you doooo break up with Craig… I’ve been thinking about getting a roommate.”

“It can be like college! No pesky boys stirring up trouble, just us hanging out.”

“I do like the sound of that, Quinny.”

I wake up early the following day, feelings weighing heavily on my chest. It’s a strange mixture of excitement and dread. The excitement makes me feel worse; I am about to ruin my long-term partner’s day. I should not feel giddy in any sense, and yet. I stretch my limbs as I stand up from the couch and begin my trek to the kitchen for something to drink.

“Good morning!” Willa startles me as I turn into the kitchen. She shoves a freshly poured cup of coffee into my hands.

“‘Morning, Wills,” I grunt as I take a sip from my mug. Of course, Willa made it just how I like it: 2 sugars and a bit of oat milk. I close my eyes and feel the caffeine coursing through my bloodstream, waking my brain.

“Are we making boys cry today?” Willa asks, with a bit too much glee for the hour.

“Please, try to sound at least a little bit upset about the disintegration of my relationship.”

“Are we making boys cry today?” She tries again, this time adding an exaggerated frown.

“I am making a boy cry today. You are welcome to tag along and sit in the car.”

She rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at me, “You’re no fun!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna get dressed, and you ought to do the same if you want to come.”

—————————————————

Willa and I pass the time on the drive over to my apartment by figuring out what I am going to tell Craig. We both know that this will not end happily. Craig will turn it into a situation just like he does everything else. This is why I ultimately decided to allow Willa to come up with me. There is strength in numbers, and Craig is less likely to cause a scene or do something entirely inappropriate if there is a witness. We trudge up the stairs to the second-floor apartment I share with Craig, and I turn to face Willa before unlocking the door.

Willa pulls me into a bear hug, “I know this seems complicated, but you're doing the right thing. I am so proud of you.”

I choke up a bit, then lean deeper into the hug. “Thank you.”

We stand like that for a moment, sharing each other's love and energy, before I turn back and unlock the door. It's quiet as we enter the house. I walk into the living room to find Craig passed out on the couch with his Xbox controller and several empty beer bottles strewn haphazardly around him. God, it's a good thing Willa decided to come in with me. He can be an absolute toad when he’s hungover. Though, I guess that shouldn't be shocking, considering he is a toad 75% of the time now.

“Hey, can you head to my room and start packing some of my stuff while I deal with this?” I ask in a hushed voice.

Even if Craig deserves to be woken up, I don't want Willa to face any of his ire.

“Sure thing, Quinny. Is there anything you want in particular?”

“Just clothes for a few days until I can secure a truck to move the rest of it, I guess.”

As she retreats further into the apartment, I walk over to the couch. I can't help the feelings of disgust that wash over me, seeing Craig in this state. Typically, I wouldn't care about this; everyone has a rough night every now and then. However, Craig’s lousy night was of his own making. He chose this, so he gets no sympathy from me— no sympathy as I turn the bright overhead lights on. Not an ounce of pity from me as I connect to our Bluetooth speaker and begin blasting some generic Top 40 pop at full volume. Absolutely no compassion as I bring the trash can from the kitchen into the living room and start forcefully throwing his spent bottles into it. Content with my somewhat dramatic display, I glance at Craig and see him stirring. He cracks one eyeball open and levels me with a glare.

“Can you shut that shit off?” he growls at me.

“Oh good! You’re up,” I innocently bat my eyes at him, “I think we need to have a conversation, dear.”

“What on earth could we have to talk about at —” he cuts himself off to check the time, “7:30 in the fucking morning?”

Before I can answer, a big thump followed by a pained howl sounds from our bedroom.

“What was that?” Craig narrows his eyes at me.

I shrug, unwilling to give up Willa’s spot so soon. The likelihood of Craig actually getting up to check in his current state is extremely low.

“What. Was. That?!” He grits out more forcefully, finally sitting up.

Before I have time to shrug again, Willa pops her head out of the bedroom and shoots me a smug wink. I brace myself, knowing that whatever she’s about to say is guaranteed to piss him off.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Greg… it's just little old me.”

I struggle to hold in a slight chuckle, watching as realization dawns on Craig’s face. He whips his head around to catch a glimpse of Willa’s shit-eating grin before she “disappears” back into the room. I know she’s standing just out of sight but still close enough to eavesdrop.

“What are you doing in my house, Willa?” he yells after her.

“I dunno pal, why don't you ask Quinny?” she sing-songs back at him, riling him up even more.

Craig lets out an exasperated sigh, “Quinn. You said we need to talk?”

I nod my head.

“K, so start talking.”

I close my eyes and suck in a deep, grounding breath.

“Willa is here because she is helping me pack some of my things up.” I raise my eyebrows at him, silently begging him to get the point.

“Uh… why are you doing that?”

“Because I’m moving out, Craig.” He meets my eyes with a look of confusion.

He truly never was the smartest, but I was hoping he’d be able to put two and two together. Unfortunately not.

“I’m breaking up with you,” I spit out quickly, “and I am moving in with Willa,” I add more pointedly.

I can see the wheels finally start turning in his head.

“You’re breaking up with me… for Willa?”

Willa lets out an unhinged cackle from the bedroom, and I hear her muffled voice say something that sounds a lot like “moron.” My patience is hanging on by a thread at this point, but I continue.

“No, Craig. I’m breaking up with you because you drive me insane. You constantly pick fights with me, you’re jealous, you turn me into someone I’m not.” I take a breath, proud of myself for working up the courage to be direct. “That fight we had last night was my final straw. You told me that if I went to Willa’s, you didn't know where that would leave us. Well, I do know where that leaves us. We’re done.”

“You don't get to make this choice for us.”

Willa pops back out of the room, “Yeah, they do, asshole!”

“Stay out of this,” Craig warns.

“Or what? We all know you'll keep yourself planted right where you're at. You’re not going to stop me from talking, you're not going to stop Quinn from ending this, and you're certainly not going to stop us from walking out the door once I’m done in here!”

In this moment, I am once again reminded of the sheer love and respect I have for Willa. She has been there for me, and she makes it a point to prove that she will continue to be there for me. It dawns on me that this is the type of care and respect I deserve in all of my relationships, and I won't accept anything less from now on.

“Hey,” I snap my fingers to get Craig’s attention, “we are having a conversation, not you and Willa.”

“B-but! She! She started it,” Craig sputters out.

“Doesn’t matter. The point is - did you see what just happened? Where Willa came to my defense? You don’t do that; you never have, and I’m over it! I deserve to be treated like a PARTNER, like a HUMAN. And instead, you treat me like some robot maid! You only care about your quality of life, and mine comes second. I’m tired of not being first in your mind because you have ALWAYS been first in mine.” My voice cracks. I don't want to cry, but I can feel it coming.

“You can’t leave me. How am I supposed to pay for the apartment on my own?”

Absolute blind rage courses through me, overtaking the tears that were threatening to fall, as I lunge for one of the throw pillows he must have knocked onto the floor in his drunken state last night. I clutch it tight to my chest for a second, begging my anger to subside.

“Did you hear me, Quinn? Or do you just not care?”

I finally snap. I rear my arm and full-force chuck the pillow at his head, watching his arms flail as he tries to catch it. He fails, and it hits its mark with a satisfying slap.

“No, CRAIG, I don't care,” I hold up a hand and begin counting his options off on my fingers,” Get a job… get a roommate… crawl back home to your mother. The choice is yours! Leave me out of it.”

Willa clears her throat and stands beside me, grabbing my hand.

“Ready to go?” She asks gently, sensing that I’m about to break. I nod my head, and she begins pulling me toward the front door. As we head out the door, I turn back to look at Craig, “I’ll reach out when I’m ready to pick up the rest of my stuff.”

—————————————————

Willa graciously carries my bag into the - our - apartment and sets it in the spare room. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

“Thank you, madam!” I say in my best Knight impression

“Of course, my liege,” she curtseys, “I’m just happy to have you here, Quinny.”

I pull her in for another quick hug to show my appreciation without having to vocalize it. My emotional battery is almost depleted after my conversation with Craig. When I pull back, I see the devious smirk on Willa’s face, and I know she’s going to bring up The Pillow Incident that she absolutely watched from the corner before getting me out of there.

“Can we talk about what a little badass you are? THE PILLOW? I didn't think you had it in you!” She lets out a little giggle.

“Honestly, not one of my finest moments. But it seemed to get the point through his thick skull.”

“Oh, don't sell yourself short. I think it was a wonderful moment. Fucker had it coming. He’s lucky it was from you, not me.”

I check the time, ignoring her dramatics.

“Do you want brunch? I’ll cook since I’m sure your guard dog duties wore you out.”

“Oh! A lovely idea. I’ll run out and grab stuff for mimosas?”

“Day drinking almost sounds better than brunch if I can be honest.” I chuckle and head into the kitchen as Willa makes her way out the door.

I pop in my headphones and start cooking. I let myself get lost in the monotony of cutting vegetables and cracking eggs.

As I’m chopping away, I find my thoughts wandering back to Josh. My little sunshine incarnate friend from the craft store. The one who listens when I speak. The one who cares and asks me about the projects I’m working on. The one who takes 3 seconds to ask me how my week has been. The poor guy who doesn’t even know he was the final straw in my relationship cracking apart. Not that it’s his fault that Craig doesn’t understand how friendships work. Part of me wishes I had some excuse to go see him. As helpful as Willa is, she’s been anti-Craig since before we even made our relationship official and can hardly go a moment without insulting him. Which is understandable, but that same part of me that wants to make an excuse to go to see him also knows that Josh would be able to soothe me in a way she can’t. That part of me knows that seeing his stupid little dimpled smile would cheer me up. The knife clatters out of my hand when I run that back in my head and realize what I’ve been thinking about.

Willa pops up behind me at the counter, “Careful, butterfingers. Don’t wanna have to drive you to the ER.”

“Jesus CHRIST, Willa,” I shriek, slapping my clean hand to my chest, “When did you get back?”

“Five or so minutes ago, you’ve just been in your own little world, and I didn’t want to bother you.”

I feel a blush creep to the tops of my cheeks. Had I really been that lost in thought about Josh?

“Well, now that you’ve nearly given me a heart attack, do you think you could make me a mimosa? Omelets will be up in about 15.”

“Anything for you, my dear!”

As I place my pan on the stove and begin heating it, I vow to stop thinking about Stock Boy for the rest of the day. After all, Willa is right. With the day I’ve already had, the last thing I need is a trip to the ER.

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[littlemisslipbalm]

Karaoke Nights at the Hooded Crow

Jake Kiszka x fem!reader

Absolutely impossible decisions were made in regard to this cover photo wow...jake is just so beautiful anywayssss my return to posting fics is a piece I realized was good enough and complete enough to finish and I haven't worked on in months so enjoy! Maybe eventually I'll work up a part 2 and then wait months to post that...anyway theres a potential for a josh moment in this let me know what y'all think hmmm...

Word Count: 8.4k | Warnings: swearing, drinking, angst, and some smut 18+ (just fingering?)

-

Josh found himself alone at this dive karaoke bar for a multitude of reasons. And he could count on his hand all the ones that made this Jake’s fault. 

Jake had insisted that the band do another outing to a bar for photographs, he had hated the ones from when they went to billiards and Josh had missed those anyway. This was supposed to make up for it. But then Jake had come down with food poisoning a half hour ago and Josh was already there. Sam and Danny had bailed once they heard Jake wasn’t going to make it. 

Why hadn’t Josh been late like the rest of the band? He had to walk because his car was in the shop and had left early to give himself ample time. And why –? Because of Jake. He had borrowed Josh’s car to take a quick camping trip up in the mountains the other week and an engine light had popped up when he returned it to Josh. So since Josh was already there and had no car to drive him home easily, he decided he might as well stay for a drink before walking the 25 minutes back to his home. 

That’s how he ended up with a beer in his hand watching drunken strangers absolutely demolish beloved karaoke classics. And he meant demolish in the worst sense possible. That is, until, one girl bounced up to the stage, a blue mini bucket of alcohol in her hand. She wore a pair of purple plaid pants that buttoned in the front and a matching yellow tank top, with black platform boots that made her seem taller than she really was. Her hair was in braids that swung hypnotically as she walked onto the shitty scuffed up raised edge that the bar called a stage. 

She grinned at a table that had people that were presumably her friends. She and them were the youngest people there besides Josh it seemed. After another long sip from the blue bucket, she placed it on the patched up stool that adorned the stage for people to sit on if they wished. She grabbed the mic from its stand and switched it between her hands a few times before looking out at the measly crowd. 

“How’re we doin’ tonight?!” 

There was a surprisingly large roar of response for how little people were there. Josh looked around the room and saw that most of the bar had livened up at her presence on the stage. If he had to guess, she was a regular. 

“Beautiful, my darlin’s, really. It’s good to see all my friends after such a long week,” She beams as she truly smiles at the majority of the crowd. Her eyes must roam past Josh quickly because he barely feels her gaze on his, but she certainly notices him. He doesn’t exactly fit in. “And any new friends, welcome to the best night of singing you’ll hear in all of Nashville.” 

The crowd laughs boisterously, with some hollers of agreement and Josh swears she just winked at him.  

A guitar riff begins to play softly and then louder, an unfamiliar song to Josh, but the girl nods her head along and smiles to herself before turning on her heels and walking to the back of the stage. 

“I take my time,” She begins to sing, “to walk a straight and narrow line.” Her body follows a straight line as she walks back to the front. She grins, “My mind’s a haze and I am stuck in just one place.” 

She continues to act out the song, performing it with vigor as her melodic voice belts the lyrics loudly. “No I can barely move, no I can’t get away… Well my vanilla shoes, they won’t let me escape!” 

She belts the chorus almost at a level that Josh might and he’s blown away, jaw slightly slack as his eyes track her every movement. She winks again and this time it’s not to Josh and his head is quick to look for the recipient, before realizing he needed to chill. 

For the second verse, she drops to her knees and Josh is in awe that she wanted more than just her shoes to touch the gross floor. Before he knew it she was back to the chorus and then the song was finishing up with a run of ‘la da da da, da da da’ that the bar joined in on and she was grinning from ear to ear singing it right into the faces of the tables closest to the stage. 

The song finished and she applauded the crowd as they applauded her. She laughed and then scooped up her drink and took another sip before returning to her friends’ table. 

Josh wanted to go talk to her but he wasn’t sure what he’d say. For once, he was at a loss for words. He didn’t want to just approach her and compliment her singing ability, that felt weird for a karaoke bar, but it was true. She was incredible, much too good just to be singing a single song at a random bar on the outskirts of Nashville once a week. 

Before he could make up his mind on what to say to her without looking like an idiot or worse, an asshole, he looked back to the table he had seen her walk over to when the song finished and saw that she was nowhere to be seen. Gone. His first instinct was to look around the rest of the room, look down the rest of the bar top and see if she was waiting for another drink…No such luck. Josh waited for another hour of wretched singing in hopes that she would pop back up, but she had seemingly left without her friends who still sat there laughing and drinking the night away.

Josh managed to drag Jake back to the bar the next Friday. The same bar where he’d seen that girl perform flawlessly. He was still in awe of how good she was just to be doing karaoke, even in Nashville. She was an incredible singer and performer yet it didn’t seem like she was trying to make it in Nashville, she was just there having a good time with her friends. Maybe she was just visiting but Josh had a hard time believing that any tourist would end up there on purpose and the way the crowd responded to her gave away her loyalty to this haunt. So he was left to hope that she was a regular who came in like clockwork and she would be there again tonight. 

At around 10:30, Josh was starting to get nervous that he was wrong and she wasn’t a local or she didn’t come every week on the same day and Jake was starting to get antsy no matter how many Jack Daniels neat Josh supplied him. But at 10:35, Josh was no longer worried, nervous still…maybe. 

She trounced up to the stage once more in a similar fashion as last week. An easy smile on her face and slightly droopy eyes from alcohol mixed with something else. She cleared her throat before pointing at the two girls at the high top table she had just thrown her jacket at. Josh couldn’t remember whether they were the same people as last week or not. 

Josh wondered briefly if she’d sing a similar song or if it’d be completely different. 

He didn’t have to wonder for very long because she pointed her finger next to the dj, subtly and steadily cueing for him to play the song now that she was settled on the shoddy stage. 

A bluegrass song began to sound and after one strum of the recording of the guitar she began to sing. Another song Josh didn’t seem to know, which puzzled him, but also delighted him at her thought-provoking nature. 

“C’mon down to where them tracks cross High Street, we’re gonna watch the whole world go insane.” 

She sang along to the words without looking at the monitor again, clearly knowing the song. Last week she had belted the lyrics with strength, this week, she was still strong, but she let a bit of a twang enter her voice and Josh wondered if it was just part of her performing the song because it sounded so authentic.

“Laugh if you want, really is kind of funny,” She regards the crowd after singing the chorus once more, “’cause the world is a car and you're the crash test dummy!” She points her finger and since Jake and Josh were seated at a hightop this week, about centered with the stage, it felt like she was pointing right at them. 

When she caught Josh’s eye for the third time in a row, Jake also leaned forward at her performance, whispering, ‘is that?’and Josh nodded before he could finish. Her eyes shifted to Jake and they widened a little bit. The twins noticed since they were watching so intently but before Jake could widen his smile or even half-smirk, her eyes had moved on and he was left feeling a little perplexed. 

The song was longer than the last one she had sung, but her energy was a little different. Not less, but shifted. She hadn’t greeted the audience and maybe it was because she had seemed late, given that she had run in and thrown her jacket on the table as if this was always her time. She also seemed more intoxicated than last week, but so was Josh so he couldn’t be sure. 

Afterwards she goes to the table with her jacket and as much as Jake and Josh want to go talk to her, someone comes up to them and interrupts. They ask for a picture and talk with the twins for a while, since the guys were nice and didn’t want to be rude to a fan. But when they look back up, she’s gone. Again. Her jacket was no longer on the high top where the two girls sat and Josh shook his head in dismay. Jake still looked around hopefully, making them sit there for another half hour in hopes that she would return. But as Josh had learned last week, she wouldn’t return for another week. 

The third week, Josh and Jake convinced Sam and Danny to come as well, hoping to see her once more. Entranced by the mysterious singer who was performing for free here, they implored their bandmates that this performance was worth the seedy location. Plus, the ambiance was starting to grow on Josh now that it was his third time visiting the establishment. Jake was happy to return as well, even brushing his hair for the occasion. 

Jake and Danny started with beers while Sam ordered a Topo-Chico seltzer and Josh got a Salty Dog, feeling the need for something stronger than a beer tonight. By around everyone’s third drink, it strikes the 10 o’clock hour. Then like clockwork at 10:34 she stumbles in and walks to the stage throwing her jacket at the bar today and grins at the bartender and gives him a two handed thumbs up and then a salute to the dj. Once again, she didn’t have a drink in hand, but she was clearly intoxicated. 

“Hello friends,” She smiles at the crowd, “Did ya’ miss me?” 

The hollers follow and she does a little bow as if she lived to serve this dive crowd. 

A familiar tune begins to play shortly after, the salute to the dj seemed to have been an indicator to begin the music. The four men look at one another before looking back to the stage to find her staring straight at their table. She salutes them as well and begins to perform a song that Josh, as well as the rest of the band, was almost painfully familiar with. Mountain of the Sun by Greta Van Fleet.

“The sun shines brighter from above and you’re the one that I love,” She sings, almost mimicking the way Josh sings it on the recording, “Climb the mountain even higher, kiss the sun and fight the fire!” 

She grins and gets the crowd ready for the chorus, acting out the words like always. 

“I’ll make you mine, you’re my sunshine,” She belts it and lets her voice sound a bit whiny as she hits different dips in the words. 

During the guitar solo, she does an air guitar and plays it superbly. Afterwards, Jake raises his hands over his head and claps loudly, bringing her attention back to their table. He was a little drunk by then but appreciated her attention to actually trying to make the chords on the imaginary guitar. 

The song comes to a close with an uproar of applause and shouting, a lot of it came from Sam and Danny who were truly blown away by her ability to hit Josh’s notes. She bows once more and moves to leave the stage with a slight wobble to her feet, the same platform boots she had worn the past two weeks as well. She makes a bee line for the bar, but Josh is one step ahead, waiting by her jacket for her. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” He tilts his head with his inquiry. 

“I’d never say no to a free drink.” She laughs. 

Josh laughs as well and asks what she’s having, she tells him a beer is fine. The speed of her blinking up close shows she’s plenty liquered up. He insists about what kind she might want. She waves him off saying any IPA is fine. Josh suppressed his chuckle, thinking of a conversation – an argument – he’d had with his two brothers about how pretentious it was of them to only drink IPAs. 

“Want to come sit with me and my brothers?” Josh asks once they both have fresh drinks in their hands. 

She gestures for him to lead the way and he smiles. At the table, Jake, Sam and Danny busy themselves with a random conversation in an attempt to seem like they weren’t watching their entire interaction at the bar. The smile she gives them is knowing though and they drop the pretense. 

“Hello,” She starts.

“You’re very talented,” Danny blurts out. 

She falters at the flattery and blushes a little, looking away from the table of men she had been so sure she was going to keep on their toes. 

“Thanks,” She mumbles and takes a sip of her drink. “What do I owe the pleasure of your band stalking me?” 

“Stalking?” Jake questions with a little laugh, embarrassed almost, his own cheeks pinking. 

She arches her brow at him. “Maybe not all of you, but I’ve seen you,” She directs her eyes at Josh as she speaks, “For the last three weeks. It’s why I dedicated my song this week to y’all.” 

“We appreciate it,” Sam speaks up. “How’d you know we’d all be here?” 

“I didn’t,” She laughs, like it was just a joke for herself. “Hell, if none of you had been here, I still would have done it. I love that song.” 

“What are you doing at a bar like this just singing karaoke with a voice like that?” Josh asks, tilting his head again. His hand fiddled with the little straw in his drink. 

“It’s just for fun,” She swigs her beer again and shrugs. “I like to come out here and act like a rockstar but I’d hate to actually be one…No offense.” 

“None taken,” Jake responds for all of them and her eyes flash to him, holding his gaze longer than she had before. 

She was between Josh and Sam with Jake and Danny across from her. They didn’t need to introduce themselves, she clearly knew who they were, but they wanted to know her. 

“So do you have a name, Ms. Insanely Talented But It’s Just For Fun?” Sam inquires, since everyone was wondering.

She laughs and smiles sweetly at him, tearing her eyes away from Jake’s. It was interesting to her how they all (except Danny) practically had the same eyes since they were siblings yet they looked so different surrounded by their features and the way they held themselves. 

“That’s it, how’d you guess?” 

They all laugh and then look at her seriously and she gives them her name. 

“Lovely name for a lovely girl,” Josh muses. 

Her eyes flash to his face now, “I figured your twin would be the charmer, but it also makes sense that you’d use that on a girl.” 

The rest of the guys laughed and Josh’s jaw dropped a little as he sputtered an apology, trying to tell her that it wasn’t supposed to be a flirtation, just something he would say to anyone. She clapped him on the shoulder and shook it a little, “It’s alright, kid.” 

She talks the night away with them. For once not absconding out of the bar the second her song was over. They learn a lot about her and she tells them it was nice to meet them. Jake offers to give her a lift home but she declines. 

“I’m an avid pedestrian,” She insists when he tells her that he worries for her safety. “Plus, I live just around the corner.” 

“Then let me walk you just around the corner,” He supplies, a pleading look on his face. He had been entranced with her since last week and after tonight he desperately wanted to get her number. To see her again not inside this dingy bar. But he didn’t want to ask in front of the rest of the band, it felt immature and like they’d mock him for it. 

She rolled her eyes, but secretly found it sweet. Letting him walk her home wouldn’t hurt. 

She waves the rest of them a farewell as they get into their shared cars or rideshares home. Josh winks at Jake and Jake just shakes his head shyly. 

She really did live just around the corner, but Jake manages to ask her a few questions before they reach the entrance to her apartment complex. 

“The song you sang last week,” Jake starts and she looks at him with interest. “I’ve been listening to the Devil Makes Three since then. They’re fantastic.” 

“You really think so?” She responds excitedly. “They’re like my favorite band,” She pauses and adds a little sardonically, “After Greta Van Fleet, of course.”

“Ha ha,” Jake shakes his head at her and his hair falls from behind his ears in a way she wants to push it back behind them. She liked his little ears. “But seriously, they’re really fucking good, I can’t believe I’ve never heard of them before.” 

“Yeah, I heard you guys were real pretentious about music. Figures you wouldn’t have that good of taste,” She goads him again and Jake laughs a little.

“You’re a funny girl, honey,” He says and she quirks her head at the pet name, the alcohol from earlier had metabolized and she was mostly just tipsy from the few beers she had with them. 

“So I’ve been told.” 

She pauses and Jake feels it, stopping with her. They had arrived at her apartment. It was time. 

“Could I get your number? As much as I enjoy hearing you sing and that shitty bar you hide out in, I’d like to see you in the light of day, somewhere not so…charming.” 

She raises her brows at his request, a bit of a smirk twisting onto her face. It masked her trepidation in the same way she’d been handling all of tonight. Coolly, but a little unlike her usual self. She wasn’t sure how she was doing what she was doing, but she had managed to charm an entire famous rock band and apparently one of them specifically. She was in awe, but in the moment she was rolling with it by exuding complete confidence. Normally, she was skittish, like a small woodland creature. At the bar she was cool so she had met them in that persona, that setting, allowing her to play it cool, teasing men she thought were beyond talented. 

“Sure, but isn’t it just so much more fun that you only know me there? I’ve got this whole life outside of it and so do you, yet we convene there and it made you want to know me more. Are you sure you would notice me walking down the street?” 

The smile that graces Jake’s face is almost in disbelief and it was so big he felt his cheeks hurt a little but he didn’t care. 

“Of course that’s your response.” 

She smiles genuinely, the smirky flirtation falling away as her giddy shyness creeps up. The reality of the situation dawned on her with Jake’s strong cheekbones and brows, his big brown eyes, soft-looking hair, parted lips puffing out breath into the cold night air all staring back at her. 

After exchanging numbers, she tells him to let her know where he wants to convene with her outside of the bar and he promises he will. Holding to his word, he texts her when he gets back to his own home, letting her know he got home safe at her request as well as an implorment to go out with him tomorrow. 

She finds herself at coffee shops and record stores, small gigs of big bands, nice dinners, quiet walks and of course the dive bar every Friday with Jake and his bandmates. It shouldn’t have been that easy. It shouldn’t have been a rockstar finding a girl in the last place he might have found anyone of interest. She thought she shouldn’t have wowed him the way she did. After every date, every day, every night, she went home and asked herself what it was about her that Jake found so intriguing for the last month. He had stolen a few chaste kisses here and there, but he didn’t press for more and neither did she. She couldn’t understand it. She wasn’t used to easy. It almost felt like Jake just wanted a companion not a lover. A friend but nothing more, which she didn’t necessarily mind. She just wanted to know why. 

On the third week of them going to karaoke together, Jake took her hand in his and asked if she wanted to do a song together. She had laughed and agreed when she realized he was serious. 

“What do you want to sing?” Jake asked.

“We should probably do a duet, right?” 

“Only if that’s what you want.” 

Her head tilts and she smiles up at him. He returns it with a small one. His brothers watched on as they conversed quietly with one another. 

“What’s the verdict?” Josh asks when he sees them nod at one another, her smile more giddy than his. 

“Don’t go breaking my heart, Elton John and Kiki Dee,” She beams and then gives Jake a little wink who chuckles. 

“Well isn’t that sickeningly sweet?” Sam interjects and she rolls her eyes at him. 

She had gotten to know the rest of them relatively well since their first official meeting all those weeks ago. Sam was the younger brother she never had but always wanted. He had learned he could never best her after their first real conversation, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still attempt to goad her. 

The first conversation consisted of them talking about their homestates, something normal for people who’ve just met to talk about she guessed. 

“So you’re from California,” Sam stated when she and him had been left to their own devices one night when Danny was stuck at the bar waiting to be served and the twins were talking to the act who had just finished up at a more private, nicer club in the heart of Nashville. 

“Yeah.” 

“That’s pretty cool,” Sam continues. 

“Yeah,” She says again, her lips curling at the sides, and he rolls his eyes and huffs a slightly annoyed breath. In the beginning she had been wary of them all, not sure if Jake was going to keep her around for very long or what was going on. Not that the last part had changed, but she was less wary of them all now. 

“I’ve been a few times.” 

“Like Los Angeles?” She replies. 

Sam hums in affirmation, taking a swig of a glass beer bottle and swallowing, looking like he’s ready to launch into discussing Los Angeles now, finally finding a common ground they could discuss. 

“Oh, I’m not from there,” She stops him. “And honestly? You haven’t really been to California, if you’ve just been there.” 

He gives her a bit of a glare and she laughs, unfazed. She went on to school him on the brilliance of California outside of Los Angeles and outside of any city in the state actually. He was left with a bit of wonderment for her ability to describe the California coastline and the different national parks that littered the state. After that, he liked her a lot more. He didn’t just see her as some random talented chick that he was confused as to why his older brother kept bringing around. He understood. She was fascinating. 

She didn’t know that, but whatever that special charm was that she held was maybe the reason Jake kept her around. And why he took it slow with her. Because he couldn’t quite puzzle her out yet. As much as they hung out, he still felt like he barely knew her. He’d ask a question and while she’d answer it, he’d be left with a hundred more in its place. All begging to be asked. 

She puts their names down for Don’t Go Breaking My Heart with the DJ, Jason, who was a good friend of hers. He laughed at her when she blushed about Jake singing with her. Jake and Josh watched on, the conversation she and the DJ were having unknown to them.

“Any progress?” Josh inquires. 

Jake chuckles and ducks his head, gazing into his glass, “Not even a little.” 

“I told you, weeks ago. She’s an enigma. Did she ever explain why she always would tear into here at the last moment before her song and then run off?” 

Jake shrugged and swirled his glass, taking a sip while keeping his eyes on her talking with the DJ. “Just said she was committed to coming here every Friday so even if she has other stuff going on she’ll still figure out a way to get here in time for the 10:35 slot. We just happened to catch her on the nights where she was otherwise preoccupied.”

“That is…” Josh trails off, watching her turn towards them with a dazzling smile directed at Jake. “Confounding.” He sighs and Jake looks from her back to his brother, for the first time wondering if her voice wasn’t the only thing that had brought Josh back to the bar time and time again. 

She looked at Josh and gave him the same smile, but shortly turned her attention towards Jake once again. The way the light shown on Jake made her never want to take her eyes off of him. It wasn’t exactly radiant on him the way it was with Josh, it was quieter but just as, if not more, meaningful to her. The light brightened his soft brown hair that flowed over his shoulders and whispered around his neck. It darkened the circles around his eyes and gave them a serious somber look, but it bounced off his perfect smile that offset the brooding eyes, making it impossible not to wonder more about him. Even if Jake confused her, she loved the absolute mystery of him. 

At 10:35, hand in hand, the odd couple made their way up to the stage. There were extra hollers tonight when the regulars saw she was bringing a partner with her onto the stage. It didn’t help that Sam and Danny were yelling at the top of their lungs and Josh was whistling as well. Jake gave them the finger, but she just grinned. This stage felt like home. Every. Single. Time. 

“Hey y’all…This is Jake, be nice to him, it’s his first time up on the big stage.”

She winked at Jake when he laughed wholeheartedly. It bubbled out of his chest and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her cheek, she pushed at his chest in a playful way, loving the feeling of his soft lips on her. The poppy beat came in when she nodded at Jason. She wiggled her hips a little and Jake grinned down at her. 

“Don’t go breakin’ my heart,” Jake start, his voice strong and smooth but tinged with slight nerves.. 

“I couldn’t if I tried,” She smiles up at him, the pair staring into each other's eyes already. 

“Oh honey, if I get restless?” Jake smiles and widens his eyes, trying his best to play it up for her. 

“Baby,” She pushes his shoulder a little harder this time. “You’re not that kind.” She walks away from him and then flips around getting ready to sing the chorus. 

He twirls her around, deciding to bust out the dance moves he knew best. Her giggles sound through the mic and for once she gets lost in the feeling rather than the song. Jake’s hands in hers and the way he’s looking at her distracts her from singing all of the words. She falters on a few lyrics, but all she does is smile wider. 

He asks to kiss her when the song fades out and she blushes slightly but nods her head with a cheeky bite of her lip. The kiss is filled with more passion than she’d ever felt with Jake, more passion than she’d ever felt with anyone, to be honest. His hands clutched at the small of her waist, hugging her hips and legs as close to him as possible. She feels the tips of her boots bump his. His lips chasing hers and leaning her back ever so slightly as he pressed into her. She feels his lips move against hers and she feels hungry to kiss him back just as hard. Her hands slide from his shoulders and into his hair, toying with the ends for a few moments before the whistles of the crowd get so loud she remembers where they are and she pulls back. Breathless. 

“Where’ve you been keeping that?” 

“In my back pocket,” Jake winks and wraps an arm around her waist, this time leading her off the stage and back to their table where the boys had two drinks waiting for them. 

The kiss leaves her perplexed and wanting more. The rest of the night, Jake’s hand is hot on her hip, hugging her close to him. A physical reminder of his presence in her life. That kiss made her want more than just this limbo state that Jake was keeping her in. Was she his lover or his friend? Was she just a companion to keep around so he wasn’t lonely or did he actually want her, desire her? 

Jake couldn’t discern the look in her eyes for the rest of the night. They were bright and wide, but he could tell she wasn’t fully paying attention to any of the conversations, even the ones that she led. He’d see her eyes wandering around the room, behind the heads of his bandmates. Her mind was beyond the bar and he didn’t understand why. He’d squeeze his hand at her side to bring her back to him and she’d look at him for a moment with a soft smile on her lips before nodding at whoever was talking, pretending like she knew exactly what they were saying. 

Did she want to be with him or somewhere else? Someone else? Was what he gave her not enough to hold her attention? Was he her lover or her friend? Did she want a companion or did she desire him? 

In that kiss, Jake had given his all, begging with his lips for her to understand how much he wanted her. In that moment it felt like she wanted him too, but he couldn’t be sure because since then she’d been miles away. 

After saying their goodbyes to Josh, Sam and Danny, Jake walks her home like usual. But unlike usual, she insists that Jake come upstairs while he normally declines, citing various reasons for why he can’t stay. 

Once upstairs, she starts to make them tea and Jake wanders around her apartment, a mix of dark and light, of bright colors and deep browns. It could be classic but it holds a certain touch for the current style landscape that would never fit in the 60s or 70s. Jake’s fingers drift over the covers of the books that line the walls. Eyes over the prints and paintings. She tells him he can continue to snoop in her room if he wants when she walks out with a real tea set and two types of tea for him to choose from. She kneels on her rug, beside the coffee table and nods for him to sit. 

“Why do you always decline coming upstairs, Jake?” She asks. Simple enough. 

He begins setting up his tea and shakes his head with uncertainty. “I don’t know. I don’t want to rush anything.” 

“And look, you’re upstairs and I haven’t jumped you…The invitation wasn’t supposed to imply sex. I like hanging out with you. I always want to spend more time with you.” 

Jake nods, “Me too.” 

She takes a sip of her tea. The silence is deafening but she can’t bear to try and pick out a record right now. Her fingers were shaking just trying to make the tea. Jake still made her nervous. She was terrified that the truth might hurt her, but the uncertainty was eating away at her. She needed to know. 

“But,” She starts after a sigh. “Do you ever want to?” She trails off. “With me. Because I’m okay if you just want me as a companion, a bit of a friend but a little closer, that’s good and fine. I just want it to be clear…what we are.” 

Jake smiles down at his cup. “Do I want to?” He repeats. “Christ, honey, I fucking would love to, but I don’t understand you. We’ve been hanging out for, what, a month, but it feels like I still barely know you. And a companion? We’re dating, aren’t we?” 

“Dating?” 

“Yeah, at least that’s what I thought I was doing. Taking you out, introducing you to my friends. You know, the things couples do.” He messes with his lower lip and she knows it's a nervous habit of his. Her hands rest her mug on the table and reach for his hands, he relents. 

“You didn’t say they were dates so I didn’t want to assume anything,” She wraps her hands around his, looking up at him from her seat on the floor as he leans over his knees, sitting on the worn leather couch. “I didn’t think you actually would want to date me.” 

His deep brown eyes widen in surprise, his voice sounds hoarse. “Why would you say that?”

“Cause guys like you don’t date me. I’m nobody compared to the people you and the guys hang out with. We live in different social stratospheres. You’re in a famous band, your dream, and I’m still running errands for the position I want to have someday even though it’s not the career I actually want. We don’t make sense.” 

“Hey,” It’s Jake’s turn to grip her hands harder, tugging her body slightly closer to him. “Sure we make sense. As long as we both want this, it makes more sense than a lot of the fucked up shit in our world. Is that why you don’t want me to meet your friends or know more about you? Because you think it will put me off?” 

She nods and looks away, feeling on the verge of crying. 

“Don’t ever be ashamed of yourself, honey. I really like you, for all of you even if I haven’t seen it all yet. I want to know it all. You challenge me and I want to know it all.” He repeats his want to her and she looks back to him with a watery smile. 

“Jake…” 

“Yes.” 

“I was in a really bad place before I met you and this last month has been the best month I’ve had in awhile. So thank you, I’ll try to let you in more.” 

He grins down at her when she laughs at the tear that falls down her cheek. His hand leaves hers to have his thumb swipe it away. His caress gentle as ever. 

“C’mere,” He grabs her waist and pulls her onto the couch with him, cradling her in his lap. He pets at her hair with one hand while the other stays at her waist, giving it a soothing rub. He nuzzles his nose against her ear and whispers, “Never wonder if I want you, honey. I want it all.” 

She keens into his touch, feeling comforted by his warmth now. They sit in silence while her breathing evens out. Jake is patient with her as she presses closer to him, one of her hands resting on his chest and her other encircling around his shoulders, hugging him at a bit of an angle. Her face tucked into the soft but burning skin of his neck. He was so soft and smooth everywhere. She wanted to run her hands over every inch of him, mapping it into her memory. 

Jake speaks up after a reasonable amount of time, maybe it was 10 minutes, maybe it was 30, it didn’t matter. “You really thought I was just keeping you around for? Companionship?” 

He tilts his head to look at her and she lifts her face from its home against him. “Yeah?�� 

“Oh honey,” He chuckles, and she raises her eyebrows at him. “I’ve literally got a built in life long companion already. Josh is by my side constantly, which I actually love. But what I want to do with you, what I hope to do with you, is something my twin brother can’t really provide.” 

She grins and feels her heart flutter slightly erratically. She felt an odd desire to consume Jake or maybe this moment. It was too soon to say he loved her but she felt loved in this moment. She felt so safe. She wanted to stay in his arms forever, feel his heart beating steadily in his chest. She wanted to grow into love with him because it seemed like it was possible with him. He was the first man she’d ever let herself imagine a future where things worked out. 

His eyes were steady on hers. He was no longer wondering what she was thinking or why she was miles away. He saw that she was present with him, her gaze matching his in adoration. His hair cascaded around his shoulders and she twisted her hands in it, breathing in the scent that was becoming recognizable as Jake to her. He winked at her when the staring got long and intense. She giggled at him, causing him to smile shyly. 

“You’re kind of like all I’ve ever wanted,” She mumbles as she presses herself further into him. Her nose bumping his before she placed a gentle kiss against his soft lips. 

When she pulls back, Jake hums, his hand on her waist pressing her back into him, not ready for the kiss to finish. After a more prolonged making out with one another, she pulls back breathless and laughs at Jake’s expression. Hungry. Needy. 

“Honey,” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair that had been significantly tossled by her insistent fingers, running and twisting through the tresses, entranced by the softness of it. “Please let me love on you just a little tonight?” 

“How could I say no to that?”

“Good,” Jake smiles again and she wants to make him smile for the rest of her life. He nuzzles his nose against her cheek and places a kiss to it and then her other cheek, her nose, eyelids, forehead and lips. She laughs with each one, wrapping her arms tighter around his back, bringing them closer and arching her back slightly as he leans her back. 

Her laughter soon turns to heavy breathing, a bit of yelping in surprise and finally a long unfiltered moan. Jake’s kisses had moved to her jaw and neck, suctioning and licking insistently at her skin. She held onto him harshly, fearful that if she let go she’d fall down with how he had her leaned back. 

She felt his smile against her skin when she moaned. He rasps against her skin, “C’mon let me hear you, honey. You make such pretty sounds on stage, I bet you sound even better like this.” 

She whimpers in response, pushing her hips against Jake’s lap, starting to feel the burning in between her legs. “Jake,” She sighs when he chuckles and sucks on her skin at the base of her neck and her collarbone. 

“Do you want more, honey? Just tell me, I’ll give you whatever you want. Just tell me and it’s yours.” His eyes are wild as he pulls back from her and stares into her face. His cheeks flushed as he took a deep breath, attempting to minimize how out of breath he was just from kissing her. 

“I want you to touch me…” She pets over his ruffled hair, adoring the way he looked at her with such intensity. 

He squeezes her shoulder and waist where he was holding her, “Was I not just touching you?” 

She rolls her eyes and wiggles her hips, “C’mon rockstar, you know what I mean.” 

If more lights were on, she would’ve seen the bright red that Jake’s blush turned at her words. “Yeah, okay,” He stutters a little. 

She smiles at his uncertainty, only slightly confused that he wasn’t super confident in this situation. He seemed like the kind of guy where sex would barely faze him, but it seemed that intimacy meant more to him than she might have thought. 

He shifts their positions on the couch, draping her over the cushions so that she could lie back. She fiddles with the buttons on Jake’s shirt as he moves them and he nods at her silent question. She tells him to do the same and he begins to work on the few buttons on her pink striped dress shirt as well. Shirtless, now, leaves both of them gaping at one another. She smiles shyly up at him and Jake dips down to give her a quick kiss. She giggles and runs her hands up his soft naked chest. His hair drapes over her shoulders when he lowers over her again. She reaches a hand up to touch his hair now, conflicted on where she wanted her hands to be on him. She wanted to touch everything. 

He sighed as her hand ran over his scalp and she felt him nudge against her clothed center. 

“Jake,” She sighs, “I want your fingers.” 

“Okay, honey,” He nods and trails them down her torso to the button on her pants. His lips follow the path, kissing as he goes. 

He looks up at her when he successfully undoes the pants and pulls them down, leaving her in a cornflower cotton thong and her black lace bra. One of his long slender fingers dances lightly over her clothed mound and her hips stutter as she tries to refrain from whimpering once more. It had been so long since someone else had touched her here and she was over the moon that it was Jake. 

He taps at her legs and she opens them wider for him. His hand trails down to travel down her slit, still teasing her over her panties. He presses his middle finger against her entrance and pulls back up to her clit that now felt like it was on fire. She was breathing heavily, her chest heaving with Jake’s watchful eyes going between her face, her chest and her pussy. 

“Fuck, honey,” He breaths. “You really need this, huh?” 

“Yes, Jake, please just take them off.” 

He nods with a bite of his lip and concentrates on his fingers curling around the blue fabric at her hips and pulling down. The cool air that floods the hot flesh that was just exposed is enough to offer some respite from this exquisite torture. For good measure, as if he knew, Jake leans down and blows more air on her pussy, spreading the lips to really make her squirm. 

“You look good enough to eat,” He mutters before swiping a finger through her folds, a noncommittal swirl around her clit before pulling away. It’s enough to make her whimper, she was so sensitive. 

“Your cunt is so fucking wet,” Jake sounds overcome with surprise and happiness. He runs his fingers along her slit once more and brings the fingers to his lips. “Like fuckin’ honey, I knew it.” 

She surpresses a smile and bucks her hips involuntarily. Jake continues to babble, in disbelief that she was this wet just from him kissing her and how sweet she tasted. 

When his fingers finally enter her, she cries out. A hand reaches out to grip Jake’s jaw, bringing his lips back to hers as he begins to pump into her cunt. His pink lips move against hers as he tries to keep his pace steady, but greedily he wants to see her fall apart around his fingers. He wants to see her face when he makes her cum so that he can memorize it. Conjure it up when he’s away from her and has his hand around his cock, imagine he’s fully inside her, bringing her this pleasure. 

His hand has sped up and she’s staring at him with a slack jawed expression. His fingers thrust into her with a wet sound as her juices soak his hand and her pussy. “Does it feel good, honey?” 

“So good, Jake. So fucking good. Keep going.” 

His thumb begins to circle her clit and she begins to moan louder. It slips against the nub, flooded with her slick. Her hips move with his hand and he grins down at her and she can’t take her eyes off his face, how happy he looks. 

“Will you cum for me, darling? I want to see you cum pretty with my hand in your cunt.” His fingers are massaging inside her walls and they both feel them tighten. His dirty words sent her over the edge. A mix of profanities fall from her mouth as her hips begin to shake and buck on their own volition. Her orgasm flows through her and Jake watches after giving her a hard kiss. Her chest rolling and her knees trying to close but his arms keep them open as he pumps her through it. 

After she comes down, Jake gently removes his hand from her and sticks his fingers in his mouth before wiping them on his jeans. She watches him with wide eyes and closes them when he runs his clean hand over her hair. “You are perfect,” He whispers. 

“So are you,” She replies with a slight laugh. “Can I?”

She nods at his bulge, but he shakes his head no. 

“Another time, honey. I wanted to do this without getting anything in return.”

“But, Jake, it must hurt a little? And I want to…” Her hand moves to flutter over it but he pushes it away and grabs her hand instead. 

“I promise I’m fine, but if you insist, I’m also not against getting off.” 

They laugh together before she languidly removes her hand from his, unzips his pants and pulls his cock out from beneath the boxers it was straining against. Her eyes flit between her movements and Jake’s face. He huffs out a breath of anticipation. Her light touch on him feeling like so much after getting so worked up over her noises and taste. 

His brows furrow as her hand begins to pump his length and he’s trying to contain himself, embarrassed by how quickly he’s ready to cum. She must sense his unease. 

“Just let go if you’re ready, Jake. I can imagine you’ve been wound up for a while. It’s hot that you’re already close.” 

“Yeah,” He huffed a laugh, his voice raspy. “I’ve imagined this for a month now and it’s just, fuck. It feels so good.” 

She smiles at him and leans over his tip before he can protest. Her lips envelop his head and suck it into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it gently, coaxing him to cum in her mouth while her hand continues to rub over his shaft. The wet soft suction of her mouth sends him over the edge he’d been trying to stay on top of, but he can’t stop himself from cumming down her throat. She hums in admiration as the warmth fills her throat and Jake throws his head back in exhaustion. His hair splays around him on the couch as his eyes tilt close for a moment as his chest heaves, attempting to calm himself. He couldn’t believe she’d just swallowed his load like that, no hesitation with no request. 

She tucks his softening cock back into his boxers delicately after cleaning him up and crawls up and cuddles into his side. He smiles with a sigh, his eyes peeking open slightly to look at her. Her hand runs up and down his chest, stroking the softness and cherishing his warmth. She smiles when he notices his gaze. 

“That was nice,” She suggests  in a whisper. 

“More than nice, honey. I think we’re going to continue doing that for a long, long time.” 

She giggles and tucks her head into the crook of his neck, placing a chaste kiss against the slightly clammy skin. 

“Okay, Jakey.” 

They settle into a soft silence. Content with one another. Jake strokes over her arm and hair while she remains hugged to his chest. Loving his warmth and firmness against her. 

-

should there be a part 2, lmk what you think inbox is open and reblogs (w comments and concerns, esp) are always welcome

[smoking-jakelane]

„Oh Mama“

Pairing: Josh x Reader!insert

Contains: drug use, smoking, drinking, tiiiiiny bit of double meaning flirts

Word count: ~1.7k (so far)

Summary: You get invited to a houseparty and find yourself having a veeery good time.

Sooo this little fic I started writing in February this year and I never finished it. I just came across my drafts, found it again and actually wondered why I never wrote an end to it.

Well anyways I hope you enjoy and please let me know if I should finish this off or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The music is blasting, the air is hanging hot and heavy in the room. People are everywhere, drinking and having fun.

Houseparties were usually not your thing but as your best friend asked you so sweetly if you would come, you had no chance to say no.

So here you are, sitting next to her on the couch of someone's living room you probably don't even know by name. But that doesn't matter. You are actually having a good time, the alcohol in your system making you feel a bit fuzzy and the music actually is not too bad for your taste and state.

You look up from your empty cup and lean in to your best friends ear to cover over the loud music.

"I'm gonna go get a new drink, you want some as well?" You shout, waiting for her response.

She looks at you, already drunk. You can see it in her eyes and the lazy smile. She nods and hands out her cup to you.

You stand up and forming a 'be right back' with your mouth and turn on your heels to head for the kitchen. As you walk over the crowded area you feel like you're being watched. You turn your head to scan the room but all you see are unknown faces, dancing, drinking and chattering.

You shake your head and continue your way to the kitchen. As you place both of the cups down on the counter, you feel a slight tap your left shoulder. You turn your head and see no one. With furrowed brows you turn back to the cups in front of you as suddenly an unknown face comes around the other side your shoulder was tapped two seconds ago.

"Jesus Christ!" You shout as you jump a bit.

"Got you there." He smiled wide and winked.

He looked at your empty cups. "Watcha want?"

With one hand still at your chest to calm your fastend heartbeat you look at him.

His brown hair stood up in curls from the top of his head and the sides looked freshly shaved. His brown eyes had a hint of redness to them, probably from smoking weed. He's still smiling as he awaits your answer.

He clearly was a handsome man.

You turn your lips into a smile and move your head from side to side, thinking of what to get.

"I don't know, any recommendations?" You ask him. He shoots you a toothy grin and swirls around to grab two bottles of something you can't decipher yet.

He then takes your cups and places them in front of him.

"Salty dog, recommendation from the house!" He says sheepishly while cocking his eyebrows.

"Oh so this is yours? Nice little party you put together" you say while leaning against the counter, watching him pouring the drinks.

He playfully bows and you laugh as he continues.

"There you go! Go easy on them, don't want anybody wasted in here." He says with an obvious wink before he hands you the cups.

"Thank you so much ehhm..."

"Josh."

You nod. "Thank you Josh."

You turn around and head back to the couch where your best friend is already awaiting you.

Handing her the drink you sit down at the armrest since your spot from before was occupied by another stranger. He looked oddly familiar but you were sure you've never seen him before. The long hair and the little mustache suited him, even though he looked ridiculous with his sunglasses on in this already dark room.

Bringing the cup to your lips you let your eyes scan the room full of people.

"Omg! What is this! That is amazing."

Your attention is caught by your best friend who is sipping on her drink and looking at you with wide sparkling eyes.

"It's a Salty Dog. From the owner of the house, personally mixed for you my dear."

You say and playfully pat her on the head as she leans back again, enjoying her drink.

You take your own first sip of the drink and a cold shower rushes through your whole body, making you sake in disgust.

What the fuck was that and why does your best Friend apparently love it?

You're soon drawn to a conversation with the rest of your friend group on the couch, so you don't feel someone coming up against you from behind.

The Person lays his hands on your shoulders as you jump again, this time followed with a little scream.

Immediately you look up and see the familiar face of Josh looking down on you, flashing you a wide toothy smile.

„Gotcha again!" he laughs and his hands grip a bit tighter in your shoulders.

„How's that drink Lady's?" he says, raising his eyebrows in anticipation.

You send him a crooked smile and shake your head. „It's.. well. Interesting I would say"

Josh's shakes his head giggling while you lean to the side to point at your best friend, deep in conversation to the guy in sunglasses.

„She seems to love it though." you say as you point with your head in her direction.

Josh looks at her and sends a playful nod to the guy, who just raises his glas in response to him and continues the talking.

„So you're more of a sweet girl then hm?" he tries to flirt but you see right through him.

„Actually I'm more of a wine drinker I would say but this-„ you raise your cup „does the job of getting wasted I guess."

„Ah I see, cultural and good looking. I'm glad you've joined the party." he says, one of his hand still on your shoulder.

He definitely knows his charm, you think to yourself and if your honest; it feels quite flattering to get this uncomplicated attention and flirting. You would lie if it haven't crossed your mind already that as your best friend would describe it you would smash and not pass on this guy.

Josh looks down at your half empty cup and holds out his hand to ask for permission to drink it. You let him take it and watch while he chugs it all in one. He's making a face and gritting his teeth while the alcohol travels down his throat and shakes his head a bit.

„Whoa mama, that was a very well mixed beverage I must say." he smiles directly at you and you can't help but smile back at him.

„Wanna dance?" he holds out his hands for you and waits for an answer. You turn your head for your best friend, who is practically sitting on the lap of the sunglasses guy.

You laugh and shake your head a bit at that sight.

„Sure!" you respond and Josh's face lights up even more. You grab his hands and he pulls you up to the makeshift dancefloor in the living room of the house.

He swirls you around and keeps one of your hands so you don't get lost between the many people. His touch was soft but firm. Something about this guy was mesmerizing; you could tell he did cast a spell on you already.

He pulled you closer to him to say something in your ear over the loud music but instead of letting you go, he kept you there. Your arm was draped around his shoulder and neck, while the other was grabbing his white shirt at the waist.

His hands were holding you close to him at the waist and you could feel his warm fingers through your shirt. You would be lying if you said that even this harmless touch felt like being electrocuted for your touch starved body.

His eyes were glancing down at you and couldn't help but blush. You tried to turn your head away from him so he wouldn't notice but it was too late. He came closer to your ear.

„You look cute when you blush you know that?"

The pink in your cheeks slowly but surely turned into a shade of red at his statement. You narrow your eyes and think of a cocky response to his statement. His self confidence definitely made you weak in your knees but you did not wanted him to know that.

„And you are so full of yourself aren't you?" you smirk up at him. His eyes opened in surprise to your response and you could tell that it fueled him right up.

„What was that?" he said through gritted teeth in your ear. His warm breath sent shivers down your neck and you wanted him to stay there for as long as possible.

You couldn't think straight, his presence and warmth making you feel dizzy.

He pulled his head back and immediately that turning feeling stopped and clear rebellious thoughts came back to your mind. A devilish smile played around your lips as you gently grabbed his neck with one of your hands to pull him closer to you.

„Oh I think you've heard me just right."

Before you let go of his neck, another thought crossed your mind. You turned your head and planted a slight, almost ghost like, kiss on his cheek.

You got down from your tippy toes and watched his reaction. He looked like a thousand thoughts rambled through his brain at once. His eyes were scanning you for some sort of explanation but you've set on your best poker face.

You watch his smile turn wide as he starts to laugh. He definitely felt what you felt and he was enjoying it as well.

You can't help yourself but smile at him and his contagious laugh.

His eyes catches your glance as his hands changed position from your waist to your shoulders. His arms lazily hung around your neck and it forced you to be closer to him than before.

"I think you're being very rude little miss." He said in a playful voice and tucked a strand of Hair beneath your ear.

You sent a tired smile at his statement. His flirting was cute and you couldnt help but feel something twisting and turning inside your stomach.

"Oh you don't know how rude I can be."

You look directly into his eyes and see his gaze shifting. he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth as you could feel his arms flexing around your shoulders.

"I would like to see how rude you can be." he curled one side of his lips into a devilish smile and almost instanly, you could feel the heat shoot right through your body down to your center.

You are undeniably turned on and you start to like the direction this once playful conversation took off.

[starcatcher-gvf]

Back and Forth - Chapter 4

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Danny Wagner

Word Count: 5.4k

I'm SO sorry for the late update! College has been a mess recently, and work is always horrible. But I FINALLY finished this chapter! There will be more after this, so stay tuned!

Warnings: Language, smut, sexual content, smoking, kissing, foreplay, touching, guitar face/drummer face (if you know you know ;)), male receiving oral, frottage (for real!), nipple play/stimulation, fluff

Let me know if I missed any warnings! Enjoy :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The car stopped abruptly outside a generic-looking hotel, some sort of inn that promised dreamless sleep in a strange bed and a full continental breakfast at 5 in the morning. Danny popped the door open on his right and let himself out, Jake scooting out behind. The men looked at the dingy place with confusion. The Garden Inn? Was this the right hotel?

Danny fished the hotel key card he was given from his back pocket. Before leaving for the bar, their tour manager handed it to him and told him where the hotel was. But Danny was in such a hurry that what he heard went in one ear and out the other.

They both looked at the key card. No name. Danny flipped it on the back. No name. Just stock photos of random city skylines and the room number. 635.

“Well, that’s not helpful.” Jake looked back to the hotel and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Hold on, I’ll call someone right quick.” Danny whipped out his phone and searched through his contacts. He clicked the number and held the phone to his ear, waiting for Sam to pick up.

Danny knew Sam would be more likely to pick up than Josh: the diva needed his beauty sleep, after all. And the younger brother had a notorious habit of staying up too late with his reeling brain. Come on, Sam, I know you’re up. Pick up the damn phone.

“Daniel?”

“Hey, Sam. What’s the hotel we’re staying at tonight?” Danny breathed out a sigh of relief and looked at Jake. He was wringing his hands around, and he still looked nervous and almost seasick.

“Aren’t you here?” Danny could hear Sam shifting around, presumably to look out the window.

He gulped. Danny completely forgot to tell anyone where he was going, to make up some sort of excuse for being absent. Josh and Sam got their own rides back to the hotel, so they most likely assumed Jake and him did the same. Danny rubbed the back of his neck and looked towards the front of the hotel again. “Um…no. I went out after the show.”

“You…went out. With who?” Sam’s prying tone made Danny wobbly. His heart was beating in his ears again.

“Just tell me what the hotel’s name is. We’re outside one, but I don’t know if it’s the right one. There’s no name on the key card.”

“You’re bringing someone?!” Sam blurted in Danny’s ear. He had to hold the phone back from his ear so it wouldn’t get ruptured.

I said “we”? I said “we”. Danny looked back at Jake and saw his eyes burning holes back into him. Jake mouthed “We?”. Danny’s stomach felt like it turned to jelly.

“No, no! I’m outside. Just me. What’s the name of the hotel, Samuel?!” He was at his wit’s end. Just tell me the FUCKING name.

“Oh, you’re so lucky my view is from the side, I would’ve busted you!” Sam, shuffling again, laughed with a slight hint of resentment in his voice. “We’re at the Garden Inn, on the corner of Southwest and…Green, I think? Either way, you can’t miss it. It’s got this big fucking sign at the front, and it flashes so bad I couldn’t look at it.”

Danny looked up at the sign again and, sure enough, Garden Inn was flashing so quickly he had to look away after a couple seconds. “Yeah, I see it. Thanks, Sam. G’night.”

“Night, Daniel. Don’t go too crazy. Make sure she can walk by tomorrow, we gotta pack up and get on the road by ten,” Sam replied with a laugh before hanging up abruptly.

Danny felt his ears get hot at Sam’s implications. Jake snickered beside him and brought out a matching key card for his room. “I assume this is the right place, then?”

Jake’s smile made Danny almost swoon. His entire face cracked open, revealing the smart, shy, talented boy Danny first met all those years ago, when they asked if he wanted to be in the band. His sick look was fading, revealing all his best features to Danny. The dimple on his left cheek. His eyes, slightly squinting from his smile. His teeth, shining beautifully underneath his lips. His lips, God, his lips. Danny was reminiscing on the way they felt pressed against his own, strong enough to crush coal into diamonds.

“Hey. You heard me?” Jake’s voice shot through the air and shook Danny out of his trance. He also heard Jake’s fingers snapping in front of his face.

“What?”

“I said I was gonna go to my room for a bit, if that’s alright,” Jake reiterated. “Maybe get a snack from a vending machine. And, uh…” Jake pointed to his mouth shyly.

“Oh! Yeah, take your time.” Danny ran up to the door and held it open for the guitarist, feeling dumb for not thinking of that earlier.

Jake walked past Danny, but he leaned in close to his ear and placed a small kiss behind it before walking into the lobby.

Jake let the door of the hotel room close behind him as he flopped onto the bed, careful not to crush the plastic container holding the turkey sandwich he got from the hi-tech vending machine down the hall. He groaned into the mattress, feeling his stomach churn with his anxiety and his hunger. His fingers reached his lips, still feeling Danny’s mouth on them. Feeling Danny’s neck on them. Jake sighed, letting a small smile through while his eyes surveyed the hotel room.

The room surrounding him looked like any other: off-white walls with a soft warm glow emanating from the lamp on the bedside table, pictures hung on the walls that matched the key cards, dark blue carpet that hid any trace of dirt or grime that might be lying there. But the bed, to Jake’s surprise, was soft and fluffy. It beckoned him to sleep. But he couldn’t sleep. Not yet.

Jake sat up and started eating, the feeling of food hitting his stomach keeping it quiet. The sandwich was harder than he thought it would be, but he didn’t mind that much. All that mattered was that he was keeping Danny waiting.

He wiped his mouth with a napkin he picked up from the room’s small kitchen area and tossed the trash into the small can at his feet. Jake looked across the room at his duffel bag, packed with the bare minimum of necessities, including his toothbrush and toothpaste.

The headache Jake felt was dull, but he could still feel it behind his eyes. The stress, the embarrassment of it all. He hoped Danny didn’t look down on him, didn’t see him as weak or fragile. Though he wanted, needed, to feel Danny overpower him, dominate him in some way, he still wanted some of his dark and mysterious personality to be intact. With a grumble he picked up his bag and shuffled into the bathroom.

He dumped the few items out he had packed onto the counter, and out rattled his small wooden cigar box. Jake stared at it for a second and opened it to see one last cigar placed in the middle of it. He put it in his pocket, just for good measure, and reached for his toothbrush and toothpaste.

Danny walked out of his bathroom over to the sliding glass window. There was a speck of mint toothpaste left on the corner of his mouth, but he saw it in the window’s reflection and quickly wiped it away with his thumb. He sighed and opened the glass door.

The wind whipped his hair around his face and raised the hair on his arms. Danny’s choice of pajamas didn’t exactly fit the weather, but he needed to get outside, clear his head, before Jake made his way to his room. The vintage band t-shirt billowed, but his gray sweatpants at least kept his legs warm.

He leaned on the railing of the balcony and looked around at the sky. The moon had completely disappeared at this point, leaving only the stars shining in the inky blackness. He also noticed the clouds moving faster to his left. Though Danny stared at the inclement weather, his head was still filled with Jake. He leaned his forehead on the railing now, staring past the sidewalk below.

What a fucking day.

He couldn’t believe it. Jake actually kissed him. A real kiss, with real feeling, real emotion. Danny remembered how slender Jake felt in his arms, how perfect his body fit in his hands. He shuddered, partly from the wind’s chill and from his memories repeating on loop. He wanted more, but did Jake? Those eyes on stage said one thing, but he might not have meant it in that way.

Danny felt his pulse quicken, a sign of his building arousal. But, he also felt something else: a tightness in his chest, like his heart was being squeezed. He felt like he could cry or hyperventilate. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Just foreign.

He then heard the pounding on the door.

He jolted out of his stupor and looked toward the door, making sure it wasn’t his imagination playing tricks on him, or some early-morning housekeeper. A pause ensued that felt like eternity. How long had he been zoned out?

“Dan?” Jake’s voice rang out through the sound of the wind. Dan. Danny quickly straightened up and walked back inside, neglecting the open glass door as his mind was laser-focused on Jake, Jake, Jake.

He unlocked the door and fumbled with the handle before throwing it open. Jake stood in the hallway, one fist ready to knock on the door again, the other in his pocket. His hair was pulled back in a messy bun, with the ends spilling around the back of his neck. Small strands of hair framed his face and made his eyes seem infinitely darker. Danny’s breath stalled in his throat. He opened the door wider, allowing room for Jake to walk through.

Jake walked past him but stopped in the middle of the room. As Danny closed and locked the door, Jake looked back and asked, “Getting some fresh air?”

Danny looked towards the open balcony door, the curtains billowing in the wind. “Shit, lemme get that.” He made his way to close the door, but Jake’s hand met with the middle of his chest.

“Actually,” Jake said as he pulled the cigar from his pocket. “I had another idea. We can’t get caught smoking on hotel property, so we gotta be careful” His mouth formed into a smirk as their eyes met again.

Danny was not expecting this to end like how it started. Jake’s hand lingered on his chest, spreading warmth through his body. Fuck. If he already had this much of an effect on him, he might as well just finish in his pants. Every single thing about Jake made his arousal more enhanced in this moment: his messy hair, the bare skin peeking out from his button-down, his musky smell. He suddenly felt that warmth radiate towards his cock and felt his pulse coarse through him harder.

“Jake.”

Jake’s hand trailed lower and lower, sliding over his abdominal muscles and his stomach. His thin t-shirt didn’t provide any sort of protection against the wind or Jake’s touch. He could feel every sensation like he was being struck by lightning with each inch he moved further down. But Danny wasn’t the only one whose composure was faltering. He could hear Jake’s breath picking up as his fingers landed on the waistband of Danny’s gray sweatpants. They felt too tight already. God, what is he doing to me?

“We gonna go smoke?” He tried to grab Jake’s attention again.

“Yeah,” Jake said after slipping his hand away from Danny. “Yeah.”

The smoke Jake exhaled blew away in the wind. He crossed his feet and leaned against the balcony as he passed the cigar to his left where Danny was. Danny plucked it from Jake’s fingers and brought it to his mouth for another drag.

They hadn’t said anything for fifteen minutes, but the inside of Jake’s head was loud. Really loud. The buzz from the cigar couldn’t quell his nerves like he wanted it to. He just stared out at the sky and waited for the man beside him to pass the half-burnt cigar.

His gaze lingered back to Danny from the side of his vision. Jake could see his tattoo now from this angle; the black ink contrasted with his tanned skin, but it looked so right, like it was destined to brand his skin. The moon may be Jake’s thing, but Danny wore it well too. Acting impulsively, Jake leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on the triangle, and he chuckled as he felt Danny jump slightly.

“What now?” Danny looked back at Jake with expectant eyes. Jake gulped.

“I’m not too sure.” A pause.

“Have you ever…?” Danny inquired.

“No. Have you?”

“No.” Jake’s pulse quickened. This was so new to both of them. Uncharted territory. All Jake knew was that he wanted to explore every inch of him. Somehow.

Danny passed the almost-finished cigar back to him. Jake took it and inhaled one last breath of smoke and held it in. He felt his lungs burning, screaming for air, but he wouldn’t let it out just yet. He quickly put the cigar out on the railing and dropped it in the street below before reaching for Danny’s face with both hands.

Danny’s arms automatically wrapped around Jake’s waist as their lips met for a passionate kiss, almost like they’ve done this so many times before. Like instinct. Smoke wrapped around them as Jake’s mouth opened and allowed Danny’s tongue to slip in.

Jake sighed at the sensation. The buzz in his head was growing again, more intense than he ever felt while performing. The feeling of Danny’s tongue, warm and exciting, against his own sent rushes of adrenaline and dopamine through his brain. He also felt Danny’s breath quicken as the kiss deepened, and his voice let out a small noise of strain. Oh God, oh God.

Jake pulled away abruptly as they both gasped for air. His gulps for air were interrupted by a small laugh from Danny. “You alright?”

Jake nodded with hooded eyes, staring longingly at his mouth, wanting more despite being oxygen-deprived. But Danny put a finger to his lips and pushed his head back slightly. “I have another idea.”

Danny led Jake back inside his room. The warmth in the hotel shocked Jake, a sudden contrast to the chill of the wind outside. Danny slid the glass door shut, which left a silence in the room punctuated by soft thuds from above, presumably somebody’s footsteps. His nervousness slammed back into him all of a sudden, and he sat down at the foot of the bed to steady himself. Another idea.

Danny stood over him and placed his hands on the bed, one on each side of Jake’s lap. Their mouths met again in a kiss, soft but sensual, as Danny lowered himself onto his knees. Jake pulled him closer by the back of his neck with one hand, the other placed on his shoulder. He had a faint idea of what was to come, but he just wanted Danny’s mouth as close to his as humanly possible.

Jake felt a calculated pressure on his cock, which made him squirm and moan into Danny’s mouth. He looked down slightly and found Danny’s hand pressed onto him. Fuck, his hand felt good. The warmth even through his jeans sent his body ablaze, and he started bucking up into his hand without even realizing it. “Dan…”

Danny separated themselves with a loud smack resonating through the room from their kiss. He leaned forward to his neck and placed sloppy wet kisses along Jake’s throat, paying special attention to the spot where his carotid artery made his skin pulsate. Jake sighed and ran both of his hands through Danny’s hair, feeling the curls and small tangles his textured hair left. A particularly rough bite on the side of his neck made Jake hiss through his teeth and pull Danny’s hair slightly.

“Ngh…you okay?” Danny breathed into Jake’s neck, testing the waters.

Jake nodded, finding his concern endearing and erotic at the same time. He reached behind his head and unraveled his bun, letting his hair fall onto Danny’s face and neck. He felt Danny lick a stripe up the side of his neck to his ear where he nipped at his earlobe, gently pulling on the small silver hoop Jake had adorning his ears.

“Can I…?” Danny asked, making sure to punctuate his words with a harder press of his hand on Jake’s jeans. Jake’s eyes rolled back in pleasure, both from his words and from his movements. He slowly nodded. He already knew. He would give anything to feel that, to see Danny defile him, to see himself defile Danny. He bit his bottom lip in anticipation.

Danny slowly lowered himself lower and lower, leveling eye-to-eye with Jake’s stomach. He placed his hands on Jake’s knees and spread them apart quickly. He heard Jake gasp and swallow, most likely in anticipation. Or was it his nerves? Danny looked up at Jake’s face, surprised to find his eyes staring intensely back at him.

“You tell me if it gets to be too much, okay? Do we need a safe word?” Danny thought this might be better than just “no”; that word could be taken in so many ways.

“How about ‘smoke’?” Jake proposed with a small smile. Smoke, Danny thought. How fitting.

“‘Smoke’ it is. And ‘fire’ for…” Danny trailed off as he slowly undid Jake’s jeans with one hand while keeping the other on his knee to keep them spread apart. Jake’s breath picked back up again, with his chest moving with his laborious breaths.

Danny pulled the elastic band of his boxers down to reveal a neat patch of hair settled at the base. Then slowly, slowly, Jake was freed. Danny’s mouth became dry as he stared. He never thought something like this could be so…pretty? That wasn’t the right word, but it was close. Jake’s member, pulsating with his arousal, wasn’t huge, but it was enough. The vein that ran along the underside led a trail towards his tip, swollen and pink and glistening with precome. A sight to see.

Danny looked up at Jake’s face again for one last moment of approval, but he was met with an impatient, lust-filled expression. His cheeks were flushed, and his hand was at his mouth, fingers pressed lightly on his lips. His doe eyes were fixated on Danny’s, pupils blown with lust, awaiting the next move. Come on come on come on, his face seemed to say.

He took Jake into his hand and started a slow rhythm of strokes, using Jake’s precome and some of his own spit to lubricate his movements. Jake’s voice rang out with a mhmm, fueling Danny to pick up the pace slightly. Fuck.

Jake let his head fall back, exposing his chest gleaming a little with sweat. The Atocha coins around his neck were clanging together with every inhale and exhale he took that matched the rhythm of Danny’s hand. With each pump of his fist, Danny’s own erection grew harder and harder in his pants, threatening to burst through if given the chance. He needed to calm down, focus on Jake first and foremost, before even thinking about himself. But damn, did Jake look good. His cover was slipping, leaving behind a shaking mess of a man.

Danny swallowed and placed his lips at the tip. He leaned in as close as he could and parted his lips, taking the first inch of Jake into his mouth. Jake’s head shot forward with a gasp, his knees closing on the sides of his head and applying faint pressure to his temples. Jake’s hair curtained his face and…holy shit. Danny looked up to the same face Jake usually makes when in a musical trance on stage: lips parted, eyes barely open, a sheen of sweat on his brow. “Shit…” Jake said through his breaths.

Danny felt his heart stutter at his expletive and decided to go farther, deeper. He lowered his head, taking in as much of Jake’s cock as he could without gagging. The rhythm Danny set made Jake’s legs shake, and he felt Jake’s hand burrow in his hair, pulling and pushing his head up and down unconsciously. Guiding him. Danny’s eyes watered, silently gagging but not caring.

Oh my fucking God. Jake couldn’t believe what was happening. Of course he’d had blowjobs in the past before, from various ex-girlfriends in high school and after, but this felt different. His cock was so sensitive to Danny’s touch he felt like he would come undone in seconds. And his chest felt tight, like he would cry. What the fuck was happening?

The hand Jake had in Danny’s hair kept bobbing his head up and down, up and down. The coil in his stomach threatened to burst all too soon, and Jake panicked. No, no, no, don’t. He didn’t want this to end yet, but he was too close. He haphazardly pulled Danny’s hair, hard, getting his mouth off of him with a pop.

Danny’s eyes widened in matching panic. Jake realized the implications of what he just did and tried to explain through ragged breaths. “I don’t…want it to end so soon. I was gonna…” Jake trailed off in embarrassment.

Danny reached a hand up to cup Jake’s cheek and gave him a smile. “It’s okay. It doesn’t have to end just there.”

Jake’s cheeks flushed under Danny’s touch. He thought after this they would go back to their separate rooms, their separate lives, and never speak of this again. Jake wanted to stay, wanted Danny to stay, wanted him to want to stay. The blur of thoughts and implications made Jake feel dizzy, and he leaned forward to press his forehead against Danny’s.

“I want you,” Jake broke the silence.

“I know. I do too.”

“There’s nothing here to, y’know, help with that though.” Jake chuckled. He had the least bit of experience with intimacy between two men, but he figured they would need a lot of lube.

Danny laughed through his nose, a quiet sound. “We can save that for another time, okay?”

“Okay,” Jake replied. Another time. Jake’s heart fluttered at the thought. “What do we do about this now?” He gestured between them. His own painfully hard cock twitched between them, and Danny’s sweatpants had a visible tent.

Danny’s eyes lit up. “Slide back.” Jake cocked his eyebrow but complied, sliding back onto the bed. His shirt started to slide off of his shoulders, so he slid both arms out of the sleeves, leaving the button-up on the covers of the bed.

Danny threw his shirt off as well and placed it on the floor near the bed. He crawled over to Jake and sat criss-cross. His chest, adorned with a patch of dark hair, tensed with every movement. Jake couldn’t help but stare; he was practically drooling.

Jake yelped as Danny grabbed his waist, digging his fingers into his sensitive muscles. He was lifted onto his lap, knees straddling the larger man’s legs. His tip brushed Danny’s clothed length, and he shuddered from the touch. Danny’s face was eye-level to Jake’s chest, bare and glistening with sweat. The coins on Jake’s neck were now cold and coated with sweat, but Danny’s lingering breath warmed them up slightly.

What sounded like a growl emanated from Danny’s throat as he shuffled the band of his sweatpants down just enough to uncover himself. Jake swallowed as they connected. Danny’s cock was warm against his own, throbbing painfully with blood flow. Jake couldn’t handle it anymore, Fuck what he said earlier. He needed this.

A string of saliva dripped down between them from Jake’s mouth and landed on Danny’s tip. He gasped lightly as Jake took both of their cocks in his right hand and slowly, agonizingly, started to pump them together. The wetness of Jake’s cock, both from his own precum and Danny’s remaining spit, made the friction more fluid.

Danny’s head tilted back and a small moan escaped his mouth. This fueled Jake Jake even more, coaxing him to set a faster pace.

“Fuuuuuuck,” Danny reacted. He placed a hand on Jake’s waist to pull themselves closer to each other. Their cocks were now pressed up against each other’s stomachs, but there was still enough room for Jake’s hand to continue the movement. The tip of Jake brushed up against Danny, which he found to be a heavenly sensation, and it seemed that Danny was feeling the same way. His bottom lip was tucked underneath his teeth, presumably to stifle a louder moan of pleasure.

Jake’s composure was faltering even more. Sweat was rolling down his face and body in large droplets and chilling in the room’s air. Still, he felt like he was melting, both from the heat of being so close to Danny and his building orgasm.

Jake let his mouth hang open as Danny added his hand to the mix. Jake’s right and Danny’s left were connected, fingers brushing against each other, as they touched each other. Danny pulled Jake even closer and licked a stripe between his pectorals, gathering a trail of sweat onto his tongue. His tongue lingered on Jake’s chest for a second, all the while managing a steady pace, and he suddenly licked one of Jake’s nipples.

Jake gasped as Danny kept swiping his tongue over the hard bud. Never could he in his wildest dreams imagine that this act could feel so…intoxicating. More moans escaped his mouth, not of his own accord, and he put his lips to the top of Danny’s head to stifle them.

“Smoke?” Danny asked. He slowed the pace down on their lengths but still kept the pressure.

Jake almost wanted to laugh, but his heart ached in his chest too. Throughout all this, Danny was still concerned about how Jake felt and wanted to make sure he was okay. This was the Danny he adored so much: his quiet gentle companion in the band. His quiet gentle lover? Jake’s head was spinning again. All he knew was that this moment was his and theirs. Danny was his.

“Fire,” Jake whispered.

The word rang between Danny’s ears. Fire. His legs were numb from the way they were sitting, but he could still feel the warmth spreading through his legs and up to his sacrum. His length was pulsating more intensely now. He could feel it moving slightly in his own hand, and he was damn sure Jake could feel it in his. Fuck.

Danny took this breathless word and ran with it. He tightened his grip on themselves and pumped faster, putting monumental pressure on both of their tips. Precum smeared all over his hand and on their cocks, becoming one in the same. The sight could make Danny come undone, but he wouldn’t get there without Jake. No way in hell.

Jake’s moans started again, and Danny could feel his voice reverberating through his head as he breathed against the top of his head. He could also hear the wetness of their movements between them as Jake moved his hips for more friction. Danny let out a hum of approval at the sight of Jake fucking into their hands, fucking against Danny’s own cock. Seeing Jake so lost in this moment was so beautiful and gratifying. A voice in his mind told him that he would never be able to forget this.

Jake’s movements with his hand and hips were getting sloppier, and his hips stuttered on occasion. Is he…? Danny couldn’t tell, but he wanted to ride that high with Jake. Needed to.

Danny tightened his grip on Jake’s waist with his right arm and kept him moving. Face against his chest again, Danny took the other neglected nipple in his mouth and rolled his tongue along it.

A cry sounded from Jake’s mouth, and a hand gripped at the back of Danny’s head, pulling his hair in a fist but not to pull Danny’s mouth away. To keep him there.

“Just like that…” Jake breathed out. Danny couldn’t look up from the angle he was in, but he could tell Jake was looking at him. Watching him. Getting off on this sight, this moment, this feeling.

That warmth spread through Danny again, but he didn’t try to quell it or reign it in. He ran his tongue up Jake’s pectoral to the base of his neck and asked, “Fire?”

“Please…fire.”

Danny’s hand moved at an unattainable pace, faster than Jake could manage. Jake leaned his forehead down on Danny’s, mouth open and breathing like he had almost drowned. A tingle ran along Danny’s spine and ran through his blood. Oh God. He gritted his teeth and seized up, hips moving sporadically as his orgasm painted Jake’s stomach. His voice came through in a groan between ragged breaths.

His hand still moved but only held Jake’s aching cock. Jake leaned back on both hands now, still straddling Danny. He looked into Danny’s eyes, eyes half-lidded and eyebrows furrowed, as Danny pumped him to finish. Jake’s eyes abruptly rolled into the back of his head and his expression completely changed.

Danny felt a pang of worry for a second, but it melted away when Jake whipped his head back and cried out in pleasure. His release coated Danny’s hand and chest and stomach. Jake’s cries were louder than he meant them to be, but Danny didn’t care at this point. Jake’s chest quivered and expanded with breath as his back arched, letting his orgasm punch through him.

He let his head come back forward, and he looked at Danny with a tilt of his head and a blissful smile. Danny smiled back with love in his heart.

BANG. BANG.

Both men jumped at the sudden thumps, and they looked towards the wall behind the headboard of the bed. They looked back at each other with wide eyes like deer in the night.

And they laughed. Jake leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Danny, still snickering. Danny could feel him breathing in his scent, and he hummed. He returned Jake’s embrace with a kiss to his temple and his fingers tracing the skin on his back. Jake pulled his head back and kissed him deeply. The lingering taste of cigar came back, though it felt like ages since they were outside.

Danny pulled back from the kiss, and a sticky sound resonated between them as their bodies separated. Their stomachs were pressed together, and the evidence of their climax was mixed together now. A mess, truly, but Danny thought it was a beautiful mess.

He looked over at the clock on the bedside table. 3:51 am. Shit. He didn’t think it was this late already, but time flies. “I guess we should shower, huh?” He offered.

“Hmm, I guess.” Jake scooted back on the bed and leaned against the headboard. Their orgasms were painted all over his abdomen and his torso was coated in sweat, but despite his words, he made no move to get up for a shower.

“Don’t get too comfortable, now.” Danny stood up and stretched his arms upward to get his blood flowing again to his legs. “I could shower first, or you could. It doesn’t really matter.”

“Or we could shower together,” Jake said with a smirk. His eyes were closed now and his arms were crossed behind his head. Danny’s heart thumped, but he couldn’t get distracted. Sam said they were hitting the road at ten in the morning. Six hours from now.

“As much as I’d love that,” Danny replied. “We can’t. We have to get up around eight thirty.” Danny leaned on the bed and reached over for a chaste kiss.

“Hmmmm, you go first then.” Jake opened his eyes to look into Danny’s. “Was I that loud?”

Danny chuckled. “I think they’re just mad they didn’t get any tonight.” He stood back up and made his way to the bathroom.

[samkiszkasfacialhair]

No Stopping

No Stopping

Pairing: Josh Kiszka and Female Reader

Summary: You and Josh enjoy a little post show fun mixed with a bit of teasing and power struggles.

Warnings: Play wrestling/fighting, mentions of sex, sexual situations, somewhat dominant Josh, not full smut but a little spicy

Word Count: 4.2k

“I’ll be out in a few minutes! I just want to shower and change real quick. Ten minutes, I swear!” you heard Josh yell outside his dressing room door. The guys had just wrapped up a show and had to be out of the venue as soon as possible to get to the next city by morning. You had packed all of your stuff and Josh’s already so it would be an easy exit. But, you knew he preferred to shower the show off at the venue rather than on the bus so you kept his shower bag in the bathroom for him. Showering at the venue gave him a chance for more time, more hot water, and more space in contrast to a two minute, cramped shower, on a moving bus.

Besides, you liked when he showered at the venues too because it gave you some alone time with him or a chance for an after show quickie before getting on the bus with Jake. You loved Jake and sharing the bus with him when you tagged along on tour was fine. He knew what went on and he usually minded his own business. But sometimes it was awkward with him five feet away, trying to sleep or relax while you and Josh used the back room of the bus for “fornicating” as he called it. Not to mention, sometimes he liked to whistle, make obnoxious moaning noises, and smirk at you and Josh as if he didn’t do exactly what you did with his own girlfriend from time to time. 

The door swung open and in walked a very sweaty Josh, holding the sleeves that came off his new jumpsuit. This was your favorite tour look of his by far. He looked amazing in white and gold. They were his colors. Not to mention, you loved how you could see his arms when he took the sleeves off. He was never really a “workout” kind of guy but the workouts he had been doing lately had been paying off and little by little, you could see results. 

When you sat in at the fitting for his new stage outfits months ago, the topic of removable sleeves came up. He liked the idea because it would give him some variety and freedom to move around a little. You liked the idea because it would allow you to see just a little more of him on stage. 

He flexed his barely there arm muscles the best he could and said “Like what you see, Mama? It’s all for you,” and gave you wiggly eyebrows while you and his seamstress laughed him off. 

That was months ago, back when he barely had any muscle tone. He had been getting into working out lately. He started messing around with the guys and security in venues with sparring and weights to kill time during the day. And you had to admit, you weren't mad about it. He looked good. Really good. You saw it in his arms, chest, stomach, and even his butt. 

The second he walked through the door, he closed his eyes and exhaled as he closed the door behind him. With his eyes still closed, he unzipped the jumpsuit so the zipper rested just below his ribs. When he opened his eyes, they lit up just a bit as they met yours.

You stood up from the couch and walked over to him to greet him.

“I’m sweaty,” he warned, just pushing his chin and lips out to you so his body wouldn’t touch yours. He knew you were not a fan of his post show sweat; or smell for that matter. 

You gave him a quick peck, took the sleeves from his hands, tossed them on top of the garment bag that would soon hold his jumpsuit, and wrapped your arms around his waist, crossing your hands behind his back and pulling him in closer to you. 

“I don’t care,” you whispered, your face just an inch from his. You reached your hand around to grab the back of his neck and your hand felt wet instantly as it touched the sweat on his skin and in his hair. Normally you would be grossed out by it. But not today. You leaned in to kiss him again, this time deeper.

He pulled back for a moment and looked at you with a surprised face.

“What’s gotten into you tonight? Hmm?” he asked in a flirty tone.

“You just looked really sexy tonight,” you said in your sweetest and sexiest voice possible. 

He knew that voice. That was the voice that always turned him on. 

“Plus,” you added, running your finger down his bicep, past his elbow, and down his forearm. “I liked when you took those sleeves off. Made me want to rip the rest of this thing off and have you take me on that stage then and there- in front of everybody.”

When your finger got to his hand, you trailed it back up to his stomach and played with the zipper of his jumpsuit, slowly pulling it down further. He watched you as you lowered the zipper down to the end of it, resting right underneath his belly button.

He hitched in a breath as the words came out of your mouth and you could feel the goosebumps on his arms rise with your touch. He brought one hand up to meet yours at the zipper of his jumpsuit. He held his hand on top of yours and squeezed it just a little. 

His other hand snuck down to hold your free hand, interlocking your fingers. He held onto it as he moved both your hand and his behind your back. 

“Oh yeah?” he said teasingly. 

He leaned in to kiss you deeply. He teased his tongue at you and you let him in. You did the same to him and he let out a hum into your mouth. 

He let your hand go from behind your back and snuck his hand up under your shirt and lightly skimmed over the skin of where your hips met your waist, causing you to giggle just a bit. You smiled into his kisses and you could feel him doing the same. Sweaty and gross or not, you loved when Josh got playful with you. 

He started walking you backwards with his lips still on yours. 

“What’s so funny, Mama?” he teased in between kisses as he gave your side a little squeeze.

He knew what he was doing. He knew you were just a little ticklish there and you melted at his touch. 

“You know what,” you giggled in between kisses. 

“Oh yeah? Do I?” he asked, as a smile tugged at his lips.

He started walking with his arms wrapped around you. He backed you into the couch and as the back of your knees hit the cushions, you sat down and he fell on top of you.

The two of you broke into fits of laughter instantly as you hit the couch and his body weight crashed on top of yours, smooshing you into the cushions underneath you. He hovered over you and held himself up with his hands slightly so that all of his weight wasn’t fully on you. You threw your head back laughing and when you looked back at him, he had a wide smile on his face. He scrunched up his nose and squinted his eyes as he smiled. 

He looked absolutely adorable like that. His smile was contagious, but this was different. When he squinted and scrunched up his nose as he smiled, his entire face lit up.

He relaxed his face into a normal smile and looked at you underneath him for a second. You looked back into his eyes. They were filled with love and you couldn't help but wonder if he saw the same in yours.

He licked his lips as he looked down at you. A devilish smirk spread across his face and in an instant, he leaned onto you, pushing you deeper onto the couch, and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. 

He kissed lightly and nipped playfully at your neck. You giggled at the feeling of his lips on your neck and his facial hair tickling your skin. He giggled back and his entire body vibrated on top of yours. He let out laughs through his nose, pushing out hot air onto your skin. 

You moved your shoulder up in an attempt to push his head out from that spot. It worked a little, but the way he folded his lips over his teeth and playfully took soft bites out of where your neck met your shoulders made you involuntarily tip your head in the opposite direction as you laughed harder. 

“Josh, stop, you’re gross” you giggled as you felt the sweat from his chest and face transfer onto you. 

“Thought you didn’t care, hmmm?” he teased as he continued, this time adding a hand on your waist and wiggling his fingers to tickle you just a bit. You laughed as his fingers danced around your body under your shirt.

You reached up and snuck your hand in between your neck and his face, using it to push his face away. You went to tickle his neck, where he was the most ticklish. He let out a giggle and scrunched his head into his shoulder, swishing your hand.

“Oh yeah, how’s that, Baby? You like that?” You teased as you continued to wiggle your fingers the very best you could.

As he smiled, you caught a glimpse of the dimple that came out only on his left cheek when he was genuinely happy. 

He grabbed your hand from his neck and pulled it away. He pinned it down to your chest with one hand. He used his other hand to prop himself up on the couch. You took a second to look at his arm that supported him. You admired the way his newly grown muscles protruded from his arms as he held himself up. The way his biceps curved out and how his veins that ran down his arms accented them. 

You reached up to dig your fingers into his neck again with your free hand but he caught it mid air, placed it above your head, and pinned it to the arm of the couch behind you. 

With all the strength you had, you pushed and pulled your arms to fight him back in an attempt to free yourself from him. You grunted in between laughs, trying to use all the strength you had. But it was no use. He had you right where he wanted you, and you loved every second of it. 

The two of you laughed as you struggled for any ounce of dominance. Again, his nose scrunched up as he smiled and laughed, making you melt at the sight of how adorable he looked. The combination of him on top of you, his strength, and his smile made him win automatically. You stood no chance against him. 

You were laughing so hard that it was almost impossible to fight him back. You moved your legs underneath him but he moved his body to straddle your hips and sit on you. He squeezed his thighs around you so you could barely move your legs anymore. Any efforts you made to break free from him were useless. 

He took the hand that he pinned to your chest and held your wrist with it. You reached around to grab his hand with your now free fingers but you couldn’t fully grasp him. He lowered his hand to your stomach again and wiggled his fingers to tickle your side as he held onto your wrist simultaneously. 

You screeched and laughed as he continued tickling you. You twisted your body all around in response to his movements and you were using every ounce of strength you could muster to fight him back. 

You pushed his hand away from your side and he brought it back to your chest again. But before he could pin it down, you pushed back so that he wasn’t able to pin it down this time. He moved his fingers so he was no longer holding your wrist, but now interlocking his fingers with yours. You both squeezed each other's hands tight and pushed and pulled at each other as you fought for the upperhand. 

However, he had all the power and he knew it. Even though you got his hand away from tickling you, you still stood no chance with him on top of you. Not to mention he was way stronger than you at this point and both of you knew it. You knew he loved that and you knew it must have turned him on just a little. 

“What’s the matter, Mama? Come on, fight back,” he teased sarcastically as he continued pushing your arms back down as you pushed them up against him. 

You watched his chest muscles contract as he did so. He had on two gold necklaces. One, a J charm, and the other, a sun pendant. His chest muscles pushed the sun one out by its rays so it never rested flat on his chest. Instead it balanced perfectly between the two muscles. The two necklaces swayed back and forth in your face as he moved his arms above you. The sun pendant dangled closer to you and hit the tip of your nose as it moved back and forth with Josh’s movements.

“I can’t!” you laughed, still resisting him.

“Why not?” he asked, teasingly, with one hand still pinning yours above your head and the other pushing against yours, all while his muscles bulged out of his arms and chest as he did so.

The necklaces continued swaying in front of your face and just as the sun pendant swung towards you, you opened your mouth and grabbed it with your teeth. 

You closed your mouth around it and used it to pull Josh’s body down closer to yours. Your faces were just inches from one another.

He froze. Now you both had each other. He had you by the hands and you had him by the neck. For a brief moment, neither of you moved. 

He looked down at you and bit his lip

“Let it go,” he said, stretching out his words and raising his eyebrows. His words came out in a commanding, yet soft tone. There was a touch of dominance in his voice. Not too much, but just enough.

“Mm Mm,” you hummed, shaking your head and fighting a smile. 

He dipped his head down so that his face was even with yours. He brushed his nose against yours and kissed the side of your mouth. He breathed onto you lightly as he spoke.

“Come on, Mama,” he cooed between kisses, “Be a good girl and let it go.” 

He placed a soft kiss directly on your lips. Like always, his lips were pillow soft and warm.

You kissed him back carefully, as the pendant was still in your mouth behind your teeth. 

Josh went for more of you. He deepened the kiss and wrapped both of his lips around your bottom lip, sucking you in slowly and skillfully.

You felt his tongue slide across your bottom lip but you weren’t going to let him in. You were careful not to open your mouth too wide for him but when you kissed him back, you got lost in him. The pendant was the last thing on your mind. All you could feel was his body weight on top of you and how his mouth felt on yours.

It was the way his full lips sucked yours in. The way his tongue felt on you. The way you could taste a hint of cinnamon whiskey on his lips from the shot he took on stage recently. 

His tongue traveled to the side of your mouth as you continued kissing him. While your mouth was open, he hooked his tongue under the chain of the necklace and lifted it up. He rolled his tongue to the side and into your mouth. His tongue swirled around yours, taking the pendant as he did so. Slowly, he pulled the necklace out of your mouth and broke away from the kiss with the pendant in between his teeth and a cocky smile on his face.

You looked up at him with your mouth slightly open, almost in shock that he pulled that over on you so easily. He pulled back, sat up on your waist, and placed both your hands on top of your stomach, still gripping them tightly. He let the pendant fall from his mouth and it rested on his chest once again. He smiled down at you and licked his lips.

“I let you go. Now let me go,” you said, trying to bargain with him.

“Uh uh! I got myself out of that,” he replied with a laugh.

You lifted up your legs to try to kick him off you but all it did was slide him forward, and fast too because of the silky material of his jumpsuit.

You both laughed and he sat up on his knees, hovering over your stomach so that there was now a gap in between your bodies. Him sitting up allowed him to push your hands down harder. You tried pushing them up to get them off you but with every push up from you, came an equal or harder push back down from him. 

“Come on!” He teased again, “Why aren’t you fighting back,” he said in the most sarcastic tone, holding back laughter as he kept pushing your hands down. 

He knew you were fighting back. He knew you were using all the strength you could. He wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear you say it. That cocky bastard.

Finally, you gave him what he wanted. 

“You’re. Too. Strong.” You grunted in between giggles as you pushed up on his hands. 

“Couldn't quite hear you, Mama. Too, what?” he asked slyly, playing dumb.

You stopped your movements and let him push down on you fully. You looked up at him with dreamy eyes. You turned your attention to his arms and then looked back up at him once more as you licked and bit your bottom lip.

“Strong” you whispered as a small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. If he was going to play dirty, so were you. Only, you could play harder than he could. 

He lightened his grip just a bit and raised his eyebrows. He flashed you a crooked smile and bit his bottom lip in satisfaction.

“C’mere,” you whispered. 

He lowered his head down to yours and you went for a kiss. 

You kissed him deeply, letting your lips suck his in this time. He let out a soft hum as you deepened the kiss.

He loosened his grip on your hands and you flexed your fingers against his palms as you kissed him. You moved your hands down just a bit and he let you. He didn’t push them down or move them back up. You grinded your hips up to meet his a few times as the two of you both went for more of each other. 

You held back a smile while you continued kissing him. You didn’t want him to catch onto what you had planned. Josh was a sucker for hair pulling but you couldn’t do that at the moment so you had to get creative. 

While Josh was distracted, you slowly snuck your leg under his butt and bent it so that he was sitting on your shin. You moved it back and forth slowly, giving him just enough friction against him to get him hard.

You kept going as he moaned into your mouth at the feeling. You had him right where you wanted him.

You slid your leg up between his legs and with force, you pushed your knee out, forcing it into his stomach. You turned your leg just a bit, pushing him off you sideways. 

He twisted to the side and fell off the couch and onto the floor. He never let go of your hands, bringing you down with him as he went. 

He finally let go of your hands in order to break his fall.

The two of you were in fits of laughter as you fell on top of him. 

You straddled his stomach and leaned down to kiss him between giggles. He was smiling and laughing so hard that you were basically kissing his teeth.

You grabbed the sides of his face and rubbed your thumbs over his cheeks. You pressed your lips to his softly, giving him one last kiss.

“Ha!” you said with satisfaction as you crawled off him and stood up. 

He stood up after you and reached out for you but you jumped away. 

He took a step after you, grabbed you by the waist, and spun you back to be face to face with him. He pulled you in so that you were chest to chest. Both of you smiled at each other and breathed heavily as you caught your breath. The two of you were covered in your own sweat and each others. 

After a few deep breaths, you reached down and palmed him over his jumpsuit. He drew in a shaky breath and closed his eyes. You reached your other hand up, tangled your hands in the sweaty hair at the base of his neck, and tugged down. His head shot back and you watched his Adam’s Apple bob up and down as he swallowed. 

“Not so strong now, are you, Joshua?” you spoke in his ear, just above a whisper.

He brought his head upright and went for a kiss on your jaw. 

“Joshua? Hmm, yeah, we’ll see about that,” he said deeply, walking you backwards towards the dressing room door as he continued sprinkling your jaw and neck with soft, open mouth kisses.

Suddenly, you felt the coldness of the metal door on your back as he pushed you into it with just a bit of force, subtly showing off his strength again. 

He placed one hand against the door right by your head. The other hand was still on your waist, lightly pushing you into the door. He brought his face close to your ear and brushed against your cheek and started to place soft, open mouth kisses right where your jawline met your earlobe.

You tilted your head back slightly for him and closed your eyes.

“Remind me. What was that you said about wanting to rip my clothes off? Have me take you where? On the stage? In front of everyone? Hmm?” he said as he pushed his body into yours, squeezing you in between him and the door.

You sucked in a gasp as he breathed out his words into your ear.

There was no space between your bodies. You could feel his stomach moving as he breathed and him rock hard on your thigh. His voice was deep and full of lust. 

He continued, “Bend you over an amp and fu-”

Just then, you both jumped as you were interrupted by three loud bangs on the door.

“Come on, asshole! It’s been ten minutes! Sam and Danny left already!” you heard Jake yell from the other side of the door. 

Josh pulled away from you and tilted his head back slightly. You watched his jaw clench and his nostrils flare as he took a deep breath in.

He turned the door knob and opened it just a crack. You were still pressed in between him and the door and had to take a tiny step forward as the slight opening of the door pushed you into Josh’s body further.

Josh leaned over you and poked his head out. He spoke relatively quietly, not to get the attention of anyone who may be passing by in the hallway. 

“Would you like us to bang it out in here or on the bus with you five feet away? You pick.”

Jake scoffed and you could tell he probably rolled his eyes, “Here.”

You could hear the frustration in his voice. 

Josh responded to him with a closed mouth smile of satisfaction. 

“Ten more minutes,” Josh promised quickly as he closed the door on Jake.

“That’s more than enough time for you to finish!” Jake joked from the other side with his voice fading as he walked away from the door. 

Josh turned back to you and smiled. He pulled you off the door and used both hands to pull you close to him. 

“I was serious you know,” you began, “You look really sexy in this outfit.” You ran your hands up and down his arms lightly, feeling over his muscles again. 

“All for you,” he said sweetly, flashing the cutest smile at you. You were blown away by how he could look so bright and cute yet dark and sexy at the same time.

“Now come on, Mama,” he said as he gave your ass a smack, “We only have ten minutes. We gotta kill two birds with one stone.”

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the bathroom. You entered the bathroom behind him and closed the door. 

He turned on the shower and while it got hot, you got started on him by doing exactly what you said you’d do to his jumpsuit earlier.

Author’s Note: Thank you to Emmy for the inspiration and help with details and transitions! 

Emmy, next time I expect more nice things about Sam from your mouth before I send you fics ever again! Molly I know you're reading this and you're not exempt from this! 

Em I’m so sorry I did this to you right after you bought the necklaces. 

Please let me know what you think of this! I’m not Josh lane so he’s tricky for me. I hope I do him justice!

Songs: 

DNCE- Naked

Greta Van Fleet- Highway Tune

Beyoncé- Cuff It

[ageofbarbarians]

Birthday Surprise // D.R.W & J.T.K

AgeOfBarbarians

A/N: not my best writing but it’s been a minute

Summary: title says it all hehe

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! Choking, Foreplay, Alcohol Consumption, Unprotected Sex, Threesome, Blindfold, Whipping, Choking, Name Calling, Squirting, Slight Edging and Over Stimulation.

Word Count: 4.5K

M A S T E R L I S T

“Come on get ready.” Danny appeared in the bedroom and you looked up at him from the bed. He was in all black; suit pants, a buttoned shirt with the top three buttons undone, and some black leather shoes. You couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment. You had seen Danny dressed up on multiple occasions but this look of his was something that sent a fire through you. “Where are we going?” You asked. You couldn’t keep your eyes from his toned chest, and he knew.

“My eyes are up here doll,” He smirked before he continued on.

“We’re going out to dinner. There’s a dress on the back of the bathroom door and your shoes are set out already. I’ll be downstairs.” Danny went to go leave the bedroom but you whined.

“But it’s my birthday, I thought we were staying in?”

“I wanna treat my pretty girl,” Danny paused as he walked towards you. He gently placed his thumb under your chin and lifted your head before placing a tender kiss on your lips. Your eyes fluttered closed as you melted into his touch. You couldn’t help the butterflies that filled your stomach, but the heat that took over your core was a feeling you were so used to from anything Danny did.

“I have a surprise for you later. Can I make my baby feel good?” He pulled away only an inch as he stared into your eyes. You knew the question was innocent since he just wanted to make your birthday special, but you couldn’t help but think of it another way.

“Okay,” you nodded slightly before shuffling off the bed and making your way to the bathroom. Danny went downstairs and left you to get ready. You closed the bathroom door and there was a black satin dress that had a slit up the leg. It wasn’t too short, but it wasn’t super long either and it happened to match him perfectly, which you had assumed was his plan.

You quickly straightened your hair and did some light makeup so he wouldn’t be waiting on you downstairs for a long time. You stopped in front of the front door and slipped on your heels. Danny appeared behind you as he rested his hands on your hips. You stood up straight and smoothed your hands over the black material.

“I knew this dress was gonna make your ass look great. I can’t wait to take it off of you later.” His voice was low as he whispered in your ear. You could hear the smirk in his voice and it sent a chill through your body.

“Ready?” He smiled as if he wasn’t hinting at what was to come later as the words had never even left his lips.

“Yeah,” you let out a shaky breath and wrapped your arm around his. He lead you out to the car and being the gentleman he is, he opened the door. The two of you walked out to the car and Danny rushed in front of you to open the door. 

"After you, my love."

***

“Thank you for dinner baby,” you smiled up at Danny as he walked the two of you inside. You were a little unsteady on your feet from the few drinks that you had at dinner. Danny had told you to let loose since it was your birthday after all and you never really drank much anymore, but sometimes you wanted to have a good time with some alcohol in your system.

“Of course angel, anything for you.” Danny pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he unlocked the door. You heard the familiar click and he pushed it open, allowing you to step in first.

“God these heels are killing my feet,” you leaned against the wall to start to unbuckle the clasp in your shoes.

“Want a massage?” Danny dipped below you and started to undo the clasps for you. You nodded your head and held onto his shoulder for support as he helped you out of the tall shoes.

When he had finally slipped the other one off of your foot you didn’t even have time to fully touch the ground before he was throwing you over your shoulder. The swift movements and the mixture of your drinks sent you into a fit of giggles. You hadn’t even realized that Danny had carried you upstairs until your back was hitting the plush material of your bed. The room was spinning slightly so you closed your eyes and tried your best to relax.

Danny began rubbing your feet in the places he figured would hurt most from wearing those god-forsaken heels. He hummed quietly to himself and you could feel yourself sinking further into the bed, yet, you weren’t tired. If anything, you could feel the arousal pooling between your legs, wanting nothing more than just to have Danny between your thighs, lapping at every last drop of you.

“Feel that good?” Danny chuckled, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Hm?” You sat up and looked up at him, your eyes feeling somewhat heavy. “You moaned. I’m assuming it feels good?” Danny raised a brow at you. You could feel your cheeks grow hot and you couldn’t help but nod.

“Are you lying to me?”

Yes. “No.” You shook your head but he could see right through you. “What’s going through that pretty head of yours?” Danny questioned. He continued to rub your feet but his movements ever so slowly moved up to your legs, just barely reaching the place you needed him most.

“You.” You let out a breathy sigh.

“Me?” You could hear the smirk in Danny’s voice without even needing to look at him.

“Danny, please,” you whined. You were so desperate for more of his touch. You were most days but the alcohol traveling through you made the want for him even stronger.

“Tell me what you want, pretty girl. Use your words, don’t make me guess.” Danny shook his head before he started pressing soft kisses along your thighs, looking up at you through his lashes.

“I need you to touch me,” You whimpered, shifting under his touch.

“I am touching you, darling. What else?” He continued to tease. You hated having to say it out loud when he knew exactly what you wanted.

“Fuck, Danny, I want your mouth, for you to fuck me, just something.” You looked down at him, annoyance coating your tone. He smirked at you and slowly nodded his head.

“So she does know what she wants.” Was all he said before had pulled at the lace panties that were pressed against your skin and ripped them without a second thought. Any other time you would’ve said something but there was something so nice about the sting against your skin.

Danny took no time throwing your legs over his shoulders and immediately started sucking on your clit. Your head fell back and your eyes fluttered closed as soft moans slipped past your lips. You could feel the familiar build in your lower stomach and you knew it would take you no time at all to come undone around him.

“M-more, please,” you rushed out. Danny obliged as he slid two of his fingers past your entrance, immediately curving them upwards. Your back arched off the bed as he moved in and out of your dripping core. The mixture of his fingers and his mouth were a feeling you wish you could have last a lifetime. You could feel yourself clenching around Danny and he knew you were close. He continued to devour every part of you with the pace of his fingers never changing. Your moans grew louder and your breaths quickened, your head becoming dizzy.

“Danny,” your brows knitted together as you looked down at the explicit scene below you.

“Cum for me baby,” Danny smiled down at you as he watched your face contort with pleasure, one of his favorite things to do. His thumb replaced his mouth against your clit, rubbing quick circles against your most sensitive place. You could feel your legs shake beneath his touch and you knew this wouldn’t be the first orgasm of the night. Vulgar words left your mouth as you convulsed under him, never wanting the high to go away.

Slowly, the euphoria died down and your breathing was labored as you started to come down. You felt Danny’s lips connected with your neck as his fingers continued to slowly work in and out of you.

“You’ve been so good for me, what else do you want baby?” Danny cooed. “This isn’t about you, it’s my birthday, but if you really want to know,” you paused breathlessly, trying to muster the courage to voice the thoughts that were going through your mind.

“I need you to fuck me until my hips are bruised,” you challenged. Danny stopped for a second and you swore you could hear a quiet whine from him. He removed his lips from your neck and gave you a serious look.

“Are you sure?” He asked cautiously. You nodded your head without a second thought, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of you.

“Positive.” You assured him. Danny kissed you with more hunger than he ever had before and you whined against his lips. He shifted above you, never once breaking the kiss. You could hear the metal from his belt and the sound made your heart flutter.

“Can we use it?” You pulled away slightly breathless, eyeing him for an answer. He looked at you, his eyes going to a completely different shade. He didn’t give you an answer but the action of him flipping you over was enough. You looked him over your shoulder, biting your lip as you could feel the anticipation growing. Danny quickly slid off his dress pants and ripped his shirt, buttons flying in every which direction across the room. He slowly dragged the leather belt across your back and over the swell of your ass. Goosebumps rose across your skin as his movements were slow and taunting. The sound of the leather cracking against your skin processed a split second before the sting. You let out a moan and you could hear Danny let out a low laugh from behind you. He slid the leather down your thighs before pressing his clothes cock against your core. You could feel his length perfectly, making you want him more than you already did.

“Danny, just fuck me already,” You begged, not even caring how desperate you sounded. His free hand tangled in your hair and he pulled back on the roots.

“Ask nicely and maybe I’ll consider it.” He whispered in your ear before he bit your ear lobe.

“Danny-“

“What did I say?” He hummed, not letting you protest.

“Fuck me, please. Treat me like the whore I am,” Your words came out before you could even process what you were saying.

“If it’s too much, tell me.” He whispered in your ear before pressing a quick kiss to your temple. You didn’t have time to respond as he slowly slid into you. Your jaw went slack and your eyes fluttered closed again.

Danny pulled back slowly before sending a sharp thrust forward causing you to grip the sheets slightly. He repeated his movements before his thrusts quickened, pounding into you at a brutal pace. Your moans were loud as they echoed off the walls. You felt another hit from the leather hit your skin, the sting turning into a feeling of pleasure.

“Fuck, yes, harder,” You gasped. Danny hit you again just harder this time. You felt a sinister smile creep onto your lips as he hit you once more. You could feel the slight burn from the material and you knew there would be marks to be remembered in the morning, but something about it made it that much more arousing.

“So fucking good for me,” Danny grunted from behind you. He let go of the belt and you felt his fingertips dig into your sides. His grip was tight as he pulled you back against him, making the contact harder than it was previously. Your chest was pressed against the mattress while your hips were still in the air, face digging into the comforter below. You could feel tears brimming your eyes from the way he fucked into you, his pace never letting up.

“Who owns this pretty cunt? Hm?” Danny leaned down over you, pushing a kiss to your shoulder blade. You just let out a moan that turned into a whimper but that wasn’t enough for him.

“Answer me. Who owns. This cunt.” Danny’s voice was rough in your ear. His fingers tangled in your hair and he pulled your head back so it was next to his.

“You do, fuck,” you gasped as he sent a particularly sharp thrust into you. Danny captured your lips in a rough kiss, wasting no time slipping his tongue into your mouth. You could feel the heat in your stomach growing stronger for the angle he was hitting inside of you.

Danny’s pace slowed drastically. His thrusts were deep, bottoming out every time after he had pulled back. His grip on your hair loosened but moved to wrap it around your throat. A sinister smile appeared across your face. “My favorite necklace,” you hummed to yourself. You could hear a small whimper from Danny.

“Can I ride you? Please?” You sighed.

“Because you asked so nicely,” Danny squeezed your throat for a split second before removing his hand. He trailed a line of kisses down your spine and pulled out of you slowly. You whined from the loss of contact but eagerness filled your body, desperate to have every inch of him inside of you.

Danny adjusted himself against the headboard and you wasted no time lining him up with your entrance. You sank down onto him slowly, teasing him but in a way teasing yourself. You leaned your head back as you slowly started to move your hips against him, earning a small groan from the man below you.

"Fuck, you always feel so good around me," Danny's hands rested on your hips as your movements sped up. Your eyes rolled back and you let out small whimpers as your hand traveled down your chest, stomach, and to your clit. You rubbed quick circles as you rode him, not evening caring about your pace. Danny's hands tightened and he couldn't help himself before he started thrusting his hips upwards at a brutal pace. You fell forward slightly, your hands now resting on his chest to steady yourself as much as you could.

"Shit, Danny, I'm-"

"I know baby," Danny cut you off as he sped up his pace (as if it was even possible).

You let out a few whines before you came undone around him without any warning. Your vision was hazy and you could feel your body shake. Danny never slowed his movements as he rode you through your high. It didn't take long before his pace faltered.

"Be so good for me baby," You managed to get out as your hand cupped his face. Danny groaned before releasing inside of you, while loud moans fled his lips.

You collapsed on his chest and both of your breathing were heavy. The two of you lied there in silence while Danny rubbed slow soft circles on your back. Most of the time after the two of you had fucked you were exhausted and wanted to go to bed, but right now it was different.

You started planting lust-filled kisses on Danny's neck, immediately finding his sweet spot. You nibbled on the spot before soothing it with your tongue. Danny let out a deep breath before rolling the two of you over. 

"Mmm, what's this?" You could hear the smile in his voice and you shrugged before planting a quick kiss on his lips.

"I'm not done," You ground yourself against him and he let out a soft laugh. "Do you want to know your present?" Danny asked. You sat up and eyed him, unsure of what was to come.

"Is that even a question?" You could feel the smile creep onto your lips as Danny pulled you off of him. He went to the closet and grabbed one of his few ties before holding it up.

"I'm going to put this on, okay?" He raised his brows and you nodded without hesitation. Danny gently placed the silk material over your eyes and tied it around the back of your head. Your other senses took over as your vision went dark.

"I'll be right back," Danny rushed out of the room, leaving you completely alone. You picked at your cuticles, a nervous habit you had picked up. It was quiet for a moment before you heard footsteps coming up the stairs. 

"Open," Danny commanded. You opened your mouth and you were met with a bottle being pressed against your lips. You could feel the liquid being poured into your mouth and soon tasted the tequila coating your tongue. Your jaw was pushed up, closing your mouth, and you immediately swallowed the liquor.

"She's always taken her liquor so well," You heard a familiar but unfamiliar voice speak up and you felt your body tense.

"Danny," You said hesitantly.

"I overheard a conversation you had. Me, you, and Jake," The way Jake's name slid off his tongue so slowly caused you to let out a sigh and you could feel your arousal pooling between your legs.

"At any point, tell us to stop, and we will. No questions asked. Do you remember your colors?" Danny questioned. You nodded your head and shifted against the bed. You felt the bed dip and a set of hands come up behind you and grab your chest for a moment before one of them wrapped their hands around your throat. Your mouth fell open before a grin took over your face. Your face was turned to the side and you were met with a set of lips, ones that you weren't familiar with. You kissed Jake back and it took a moment before you got used to his movements. Danny's hands pushed your legs apart before his mouth wrapped itself around your clit, causing you to moan into Jake's mouth.

"I want the blindfold off," You pulled away slightly breathless, and a moan left your lips as Danny inserted two of his fingers into you. You could feel your breathing pick up as he curved his fingers upwards so expertly. You couldn't help but what Jake might feel like, considering he was a guitarist after all.

"Switch, please," You sighed, your head falling back. Danny pulled away from you and you felt the bed dip slightly as the two of them switched. Danny slipped the blindfold off of you before leaning the two of you back. You couldn't help but look at Jake who was kneeling below you. His mouth wrapped around your clit, working the sensitive bud gently. Your eyes grew heavy as you watched him.

"Will you be good?" Danny whispered in your ear. You turned your attention towards him before nodding.

"Words." He shook his head and you whined as Jake inserted one of his fingers.

"Yes, so fucking good," You tipped your head back, giving Danny full access to your neck. His lips attacked your sweet spot and you tried to focus on the beautiful men below you. Jake inserted another finger and you moaned as he curved them upwards as Danny had done previously. Jake's movements were slow before he sped them up slightly to get more of a reaction out of you. His mouth worked expertly against your clit and your back arched. You could feel the knot in your stomach growing quickly. It only took seconds before you were releasing around Jake's fingers. Your hearing was muffled as he continued to work his fingers in and out of you. The overstimulation from him was becoming unbearable and you just needed something more from one of them.

"God, just fuck me already, please" You whined, desperate to feel one of them inside of you. Danny hummed against your neck before pulling away.

"Eager, are we? You're not the one who makes commands around here." He raised a brow at you and you nodded.

"Please," 

"Only this one time. Don't think it'll work next time." Danny eyed you and you nodded but you couldn't help but think about the fact of a next time. Jake halted his movements before standing up. Danny crashed his lips to yours and your fingers tangled in his hair. You could feel Jake dragging his cock through your folds before he slid into you slowly. You could feel the slight sting of him stretching out and your back arched slightly as you moaned into Danny's mouth. Jake pulled out slightly before sending a harsh thrust into you. You let out a whimper as you tried to focus on kissing Danny but were unsuccessful.

"Can you be so good and take my cock?" Danny bit at your earlobe as he whispered in your ear. You nodded eagerly and you tried to keep your eyes open. 

As Danny adjust himself along the bed you looked at Jake and down to where the two of you met. His fingers were digging into your hips and you knew there would be bruises from the way he was grabbing you and the way Danny had earlier. You opened your mouth for Danny, taking him in with ease. Your tongue ran along the underside of his cock as he hit the back of your throat. His hips moved back, before moving forward again and he started fucking your mouth at a brutal pace. Tears brimmed your eyes, a few sliding down your cheek as you tried your hardest to not gag around him.

"Look at our pretty girl. You like being treated like a whore, don't you?" Jake hummed and you moaned causing Danny to shudder. Danny threw his head back and you could tell he was getting somewhat close from how labored his breathing was. 

"You like being used, hm? Letting us treat you however we want," Danny looked down at you and you moaned again. He pulled out of your mouth causing you to gasp for air.

"Wanna ride you," You barely managed to get out as you directed your attention towards Jake. He had a look of surprise on his face and he looked at Danny who just gave him a simple nod. Jake pulled out of you and you whined from the loss of contact. He adjusted himself and put one of the pillows behind his head as he rested against the headboard. You threw your legs over him and lined him up with your entrance. You sank down on him and you watched as he bit his lip. Danny wrapped his arms around you, trailing them down your chest down to your clit. You slowly moved against him and tilted your head back to look at Danny. You pressed sloppy kisses to his neck as you moved against Jake's cock. Your lips eventually connected with Danny's and you grabbed his cock and slowly moved your hand against him. You pulled away and focused on Jake as you sped up your movements. You watched his abdomen tightening as you could tell he was trying so hard not to make so much noise.

"Fuck, Jake," You groaned as you tried to get a rise out of him.

"Shit," He hissed as he tipped his head back and closed his eyes. You moaned as you could feel the heat in your stomach growing from the way Danny rubbed your clit and fast circles mixed with the feeling of Jake inside of you.

"Fuck, I'm close," You whined. Jake grabbed your hips and he began fucking up into you. You threw your head back against Danny's shoulder and your breathing sped up, your moans turning into whimpers and pathetic whines. 

"Do you wanna cum, pretty girl?" Jake teased. You whined as you nodded your head.

"P-please," Your mouth fell open and Danny groaned and you could feel him twitch in your hand. The feeling in your lower stomach was becoming almost painful as you were on the brink of your release, so desperately needing to release.

"Wait," Danny shook his head and you whimpered as you knew you wouldn't be able to hold on like he wanted you to. Your eyes squeezed shut and you bit on your bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood.

"Danny, please," You begged breathlessly.

"I said wait," Danny shook his head and groaned under your touch. His hand wrapped around your throat and he squeezed slightly. You could feel yourself clench around Jake and he hissed as you did so. Even with your eyes closed, small stars took over your vision and you could feel yourself growing dizzy. 

"Guys," You barely mustered to get out before you could feel your release taking over you. There was a rush of liquid and you let out a loud moan as you felt yourself growing weak. You could feel your weight fall forward before Danny hooked his arm around you to catch you.

"Fuck, Y/N," You heard Jake groan before you could feel him filling you up. Your hand continued to work against Danny and you knew he had to be close too. Danny bit down on your shoulder to contain his moans and you tried to steady your breathing.

"Y/N, knees. Now." Danny grunted. You lazily shook your head and you moved off of Jake. Danny moved and he stood with the backs of his legs against the bed. You dropped below him and Jake moved quickly as he pushed his chest against your back. You licked a stripe up the underside of Danny's cock and took him into your mouth without hesitation. Danny tipped his head back as you swirled your tongue around his tip and pushed him down the back of your throat. You sat there for a second, letting your throat close around him slightly. Jake inserted two of his fingers into you and began to move them quickly and his lips connected with your neck. You moaned and tried to focus on getting Danny off. You could feel him twitch and you knew he was close so you continued to moan around him as the vibrations triggered goosebumps to rise against his skin. You raked your fingers down his abdomen and it was enough to send him over the edge. You felt the hot sticky spurts of him fill your mouth and you whined as another orgasm took over without warning. You felt another rush of wetness between your legs and Jake groaned behind you.

"There you go, baby," He hummed against your neck, still leaving marks all over you. Your legs shook and you looked up at Danny through your lashes. He ran his thumb over your cheek as you swallowed every last part of him. You pulled him out of your mouth with a pop and he smiled down at you.

"I'm gonna run you a bath," Danny stepped away towards your shared bathroom and you hummed as you leaned against Jake's chest. You turned your head towards him. He smiled as he pressed a small kiss to your lips.

"Happy birthday, sweet girl." ******

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TAGLIST: @sparrowofthedawnsworld @jordierama @greta-van-chaos @maddie-van-fleet @interstellar-shores

[basiccortez]

Coming Home From Tour | The Baby Series

series masterlist | main masterlist

synopsis: The boys come home from tour :)

word count: 3.7k

warnings: babies, mentions of sickness, mostly fluff

note: surprise??? I've had this sitting in my drafts since the end of DiG and now that those pictures of Josh are floating around I thought 'heh why not'. This is terrifying, so lets see how it goes:)

JOSH: 

You knew that the moment Josh walked out the door, he was counting down the days until he could come home to you and Oliver. Josh was such a homebody before becoming a partner, now it was even worse. He always found it hard to leave home, spending months on the road, traveling around and playing show after show. He used to call Karen at least once a day, getting updates on things back in Michigan. Now, he was calling you at least twice a day, wanting updates, pictures and videos of his son. 

Oliver was now nine months old and sitting up by himself. You had sent the group chat a video the other day of him banging a toy tambourine on the ground and Josh had never felt so much pride in his life. As much as technology was a blessing, Josh still felt like he was missing out on so much. It was almost daily that Oliver seemed to change or have some new milestone checked off the list. The best thing Josh could do every night while on stage, a million miles away, was to make sure to sing for you and Oliver. And somehow, you both knew that Josh was singing for you. 

You were somewhat privy to what the boys were planning for their last show. Josh hadn’t given you too many details in your last facetime call, but you knew that they wanted to go out with a bang. You were fast asleep by the time they took the stage in California, after having put Oliver down and listened while you played a recording of Josh reading a bedtime story to him. You were doing your morning debrief, which consisted of scrolling through tiktok and twitter while feeding Oliver and drinking tea. 

“Oliver Kiszka, stop putting bananas in your hair,” You scolded the little boy, who just gave you a gummy smile and continued to smash bananas in his brown curls. He for sure had his father’s taste for mischief. You playfully rolled your eyes and placed a couple more pieces of bananas on his highchair tray, “It sounds like half your daddy’s fans are dead this morning. Can you believe that? Can you believe it!?” 

“Ah!” Oliver exclaimed and you laughed. 

“Yes, I know! Crazy man, I tell ya!” You kissed his cheek, “Let’s get you cleaned up, sticky boy,” You had put on a Jethro Tull album, which just so happened to be Oliver and Josh’s favorites. You believe it was more Josh’s favorite but Josh swore that Oliver told him it was his favorite too. You couldn’t help the giggle that arose from your throat as ‘Reasons for Waiting’ started playing. It always sent a delightful shiver down your body, remembering the first time you heard that song and the first time you and Oliver both saw Josh and the boys on stage. 

“What a sight for my eyes,” You sang softly as you wiped your son's cheeks with a damp rag, “To see you in sleep. . .” Oliver had the same big soft brown eyes as his father, and he watched your every move with such intent. You believed that the two were more similar than everyone thought. Everyday you watched Oliver grow, the more you saw the same personality as Josh. 

“Came a thousand miles-” You sang the last line of the verse, when another voice jumped in. 

“Just to catch you smiling.” 

You turned your head around, to see Josh standing in the doorway, his backpack on his shoulders and tired, soft brown eyes looking at you. Tears welled up in your eyes as you ran towards him, and threw your arms around his neck. He grunted as you crashed into him, but held you tightly, breathing in the scent of you. He felt his throat tighten up as he ran his hands soothingly down your back as you cried into his neck. This was the moment he had been waiting for for months. 

“Da!” Oliver’s voice broke them apart, and Josh’s smile beamed like a megawatt light. You stepped out of the way so he could go grab his son. 

“My sweet boy,” Josh held his hands out as the little boy reached for him. He undid the highchair tray and pulled him into his arms. You smiled as Josh placed kisses all over the little boy's face and Oliver giggled. Your two favorite sounds had become Josh’s voice and Oliver’s laughter. 

“My god, he’s gotten so big,” Josh shook his head, running his hand over Oliver’s soft hair. He pressed his lips to the little boy’s forehead, taking a sniff of his hair, “He still smells the same. Like baby powder and lavender. It’s addicting, I had to take one of his blank-” 

“So that’s where Hawky went! You had him!” You were going crazy thinking you left one of Oliver’s blankets at some venue across the country, but it was his father who had it the whole time. 

Josh just shrugged and went back to loving on his son, “I missed you. I missed you. I missed you. I never want to leave you again.” Josh walked to you, and put his free arm around you, pulling you into him. You placed a hand on his chest and looked up at him. Tears brimmed his brown eyes, and you gently cupped his cheek, brushing away a stray tear, “Ever. You’re both going to get so sick and tired of me, you’ll be calling Jake to haul me away.” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” You smiled and Josh pecked your lips.

JAKE: 

He knew it was absolutely insane, but Jake couldn’t wait the next day to fly home with his brothers. Don’t get it wrong, Jake absolutely loved what he did. He thanked Josh nearly every day for deciding to embark on this crazy journey with him. Without Josh, there would be no Greta Van Fleet. Jake’s dream would’ve been just that. . . a dream. He would’ve been just another crazy kid who had true talent that never went anywhere. But Jake’s second dream had come true nearly ten months ago, the dream of becoming a father. 

Dylan Rose Kiszka had been the greatest gift Jake had gotten since he got his first Gibson SG. He was terrified of becoming a father, and he still had his fear. But everyday it evaporated a little bit more seeing Dylan grow. It had torn him to pieces to have to leave her and go out on the road, but you assured him that she wouldn’t want him to stay here and not go share his talent with the world. Every place that they had been, Jake made sure to buy a postcard (or send someone to go get one) so that he could start a scrapbook for her to look back on. You and Dylan had gone to a couple shows, and made sure to get the concert poster and hang it up in her room with the rest of her posters. 

“Are you sure you still want to take this flight?” Ben, their tour manager asked as he dropped Jake off out front of the airport. 

“I can not spend another night away from them,” Jake said, grabbing his backpack. Josh was sitting in the back seat and grabbed his brother’s shoulder, “The parental scolding can come late-” 

“Give her a big kiss from us,” Josh smiled, “I miss my Dyl Pickle.” 

Jake smiled and nodded at his twin, “Thank you.” 

“Now go! Or I'm gonna kick your ass for making us drop you off at 1AM,” Josh pointed towards the door, and Jake quickly scrambled out of the car and ran towards the ticketing counter. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he took a redeye flight, probably when Sam and Danny were still in high school and they had to be back from playing a show to get to monday morning classes. Jake pulled his sweater on and sunglasses, hoping that he could get through this flight without being noticed. Which, luckily he did, and sat down in his seat near the window. It was bittersweet leaving the tour so soon. He would’ve loved to stay and celebrate the end of what felt like the longest tour in history, with his brothers. But he also wanted nothing more to get home to you and his daughter. 

— — — 

Nearly four hours later, Jake had landed back in Nashville. The earth was still and quiet as he got into the car waiting to take him home. His heart started racing and his hands grew clammy. Why was he so nervous? He wasn’t sure. Maybe it was the fact he’s spent the last five months of his daughter’s life on the road? Would she even know who he is? Yes, they had facetimed and called, and you even spent a week with them on the road, but that was different than this moment. 

He was home. The tour had come to an end. There was no more packing up to wake up in a new city or country. There would be lazy moments just the three of you in the morning while you tended to Dylan and Jake made his famous blueberry pancakes and eggs. There would be sessions at the studio where he would try and get Dylan to walk or maybe even bang some keys on the piano. There would be nights where he’d help get her to bed so that you can relax from spending the day with her.  

The driver pulled up in front of the small craftsman that you inhabited, and Jake thanked him, giving him a tip. He stood there for a moment in front of the house, just taking in the sight of it. It felt like it had been years since he had been there. He looked to his left, at the mailbox that you insisted on painting for your first house. Your hand print, his, and Dylan’s were on it, like the house in UP. A smile broke out on his face as he fished his keys out from his bag and unlocked the door quietly. 

Jake did his best to avoid the creaky parts of the floorboards as he made his way upstairs to the nursery. The mobile above the crib was going, softly playing the melody to ‘Light My Love’, which made Jake’s heart pound in his chest. He walked over to the crib, which he noticed had been lowered and made him a bit sad to think about his little girl growing up. Dylan’s light brown eyes were looking up at the mobile as Jake leaned over the crib. 

“Look at you, wide awake,” Jake smiled and reached in to pick her up. Dylan didn’t stir, as if she knew who Jake was. He grabbed her baby blanket from the rocking chair, and sat down, laying her head on his chest and rocking gently, “You remember me? Remember who I am?” Dylan looked up at him, her quiet way of saying that she did, in fact, know who was holding her. You had told Jake during the last phone call that Dylan had started to become clingy and tearful around people she didn’t know. 

“Kinda expected you to yell at me, or something,” Jake smiled, playing with the curls at the base of her neck, “But you know me, don’t you, baby,” He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, and she laid her head back against his chest. She sucked gently on her thumb as Jake rubbed her back, “I missed you like the sun misses the moon at night. But there’s no more needing to miss each other. Cause I’m home. We’re all together again.” Jake settled in the chair, letting out a deep breath, as he kicked his feet up on the footstool in front of him. 

He slowly rocked, not only himself, but Dylan back to bed. And a couple hours later, you arose to find both people you loved fast asleep. You walked over to the rocking chair and gently ran your hand over Jake’s hair, kissing his forehead. 

“Welcome home, rockstar,” You whispered.

SAM: 

Raising twins was hard. Raising twins on your own was even harder. You had found a much deeper appreciation for the people of the world who raised babies on their own. You knew that your single parenting life was only lasting for a short period of time, but you were so ready for Sam to be home to help with Harrison and Lennon. The three of you had stayed home the whole tour, you were too anxious about flying with two newborns by yourself to wherever Sam was. Even though you knew that you would have help with the babies, you just weren’t ready to go through all that yet. 

It had been harder than you thought having Sam away. The first month was fairly easy, since the twins were only about three months old. They slept most of the time, and you had Karen around to help you. Then they started getting older and sleep regression had hit. Then on top of sleep regression, came teething. And on top of teething, came sudden weaning (which had hurt more than you were willing to admit). Now Harrison was standing with support and Lennon was crawling, both of them getting into everything. 

The boys had played their last show the other night, and Sam was due to come home today. He told you to not make a big deal out of it, but he should’ve known better than to tell you that. Because you, in fact, were going to make a big deal out of it. You and the twins had survived your first tour. You had gotten through six months of being alone with two Kiszka twins. 

You planned on cleaning the house, picking up all the stray toys that were strewn everywhere. Finishing up the mountain of laundry that you had been ignoring for days. You were going to have Harrison and Lennon make a banner that said ‘Welcome Home’ on it. And cooking Sam’s favorite, breakfast for dinner. But that was all thrown out the window when a cry woke you up at 3AM. 

“Shh, Harrison,” You tried soothing your ten month old. Somehow both the twins woke up sick. Lennon had thrown up all over the second you picked her up, and Harrison had hardly stopped crying since he woke up. This was the one test that you hadn’t gone through while Sam was on tour: the first flu. Lennon was crying in her pack-in-play, having pulled herself up to stand as you ran around the kitchen trying to make a bottle for her. 

“I know, I know,” You sighed, opening up cabinets and looking for the motrin, “You’re just so sad and. . .” You grimaced as you heard the sound of a hiccup followed by a splash, “Your tummy hurts. Mama’s getting you medicine.” You set Harrison down in his high chair, which was hard since he was clinging to your shirt for dear life, “One second baby, gotta help your sister.” 

You pulled away from your son, to grab the bottle and syringe of motrin. You measured out the correct dosage of the liquid, before grabbing the now heated bottle and going to Lennon. Avoiding the vomit that was now on the plastic mat of the pack-in-play, you picked her up and placed her on your hip. She squirmed her head around as you tried to give her the medicine. 

“C’mon, Lenny, it’ll make you feel better,” You tried convincing her. But if there was one thing about these Kiszka twins, it was that they were smart, “It tastes so yummy, see momma tries,” You putthe syringe on your lip, “Now baby tries!” Lennon shook her head and wailed even louder, if that was possible, “Lennon May, it’s good for you!” She shook her head around again, and you could feel the frustration starting to settle in. You took a deep breath, ready to try and give it to her again when a voice came in from behind you. 

“Oh is the baby sad?” Sam’s voice was like a breath of fresh air as you sighed and closed your eyes. You turned to face him, near tears as he walked to you. You handed him Lennon, and he gently squashed her, taking the syringe of motrin from you, “My dear, sweet, girl, you’re so sad. Why? Why is my baby sad?” 

“Both of them have a cold,” You said and went to pick up Harrison, “I’m sorry. This isn’t the welcome home you deserve. I had a plan with a clean house, balloons, and a cooked meal cause I know you’ve been eating nothing but-” 

“As much as all that sounds great,” Sam said, as he finished giving Lennon her medicine, and set the syringe back down, “I would think something is even more wrong if I came home to a clean house and dinner on the table.” 

“But you-” 

“But I, nothing,” Sam smiled and looked at you, “If I wanted nice and quiet I would’ve gone to my parents. I want loud and chaos. I want to spend the day with my twins, sick or healthy.” 

“But Sam, you-” 

“Get to cuddle my babies back to health? Why yes, I do,” Sam said, and kissed Lennon’s cheek. He walked over to you and placed a kiss on your lips, “This is the best welcome home I could ever have.” 

“I’m covered in baby puke and haven’t washed my hair in four days,” You pouted. 

“And you look so beautiful. What is a better welcome home than my girl, and my babies? Nothing,” Sam said, and grabbed your hand, “Now come on, I want cuddles and Bluey.”

You giggled and followed him into the living room. You sat down on the couch, each of you holding a twin in your arms, as you grabbed the remote and went to all the recorded episodes of Bluey. You found one that seemed to be the twins favorites and settled in next to your baby daddy, as he sang along to the intro song.

DANNY: 

Danny sighed as he walked into the house, quietly kicking off his shoes. It was late when they had gotten in and unloaded equipment from the bus. He had sent you a text not to wait up, that he would probably be home late. He didn’t want to come home after you and Jude went to bed, wanting to spend his first night home from a long tour with you and him. But, he also didn’t want you staying up late past Jude’s bedtime either. 

Jude was almost one, and Danny felt like he had missed most of his life already. There were milestones that Danny had missed due to being on the road, or being at the studio. He hated it. You had told him over and over again that it was okay, that Jude wouldn’t even know the difference if Danny was there or not. It still didn’t help Danny feel any better. 

The house looked pretty much the same as he had left it a couple weeks ago, but there were a few more toys laying around which was curtesy of Jude Francis. Danny picked up a couple of them, putting them in the basket by the fireplace where you kept them. He found a sticky note on the mantle that said you left him dinner in the microwave. 

“Always one step ahead,” Danny whispered, and picked up the note, making sure to place it with the others he kept from you. 

He moved around the kitchen quietly as he warmed up the plate of food you had left for him. He smiled at the new picture on the fridge that looked like Jude had drawn at daycare. The front of their fridge had become covered in pictures of Jude and them, pictures Jude had scribbled at daycare, or projects they had him do. Danny cherished every single picture like it was a masterpiece. While Danny was away, you made sure to facetime him as you put the new picture on the fridge and cheered for Jude as you did so. 

When Danny was done eating, he walked up the stairs quietly, looking at the various family pictures that littered the walls as he walked to the bedroom. He smiled at your sleeping frame as he moved around in the half lit room, taking off his clothes and putting on something more comfortable. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, throwing his hair up into a bun. He walked over to you, and gently ran his hand over your hair, and leaned down and placed a kiss on your cheek. 

You moved slightly at the feeling of his body, and gave him a sleepy smile, “Mm, welcome home, baby.” 

“Glad to be home, honey,” Danny whispered and leaned back down to kiss your lips, “How was your day?” 

“Good. Jude drew a new picture at daycare.” 

“I saw. Might need him to draw my new base drum cover.” 

You let out a tired chuckle, “You eat?” 

“Yeah,” Danny nodded, “Go back to sleep, I’m gonna go check on our boy,” You nodded and Danny kissed your lips once more  before he walked down the hallway to his little boy’s room. 

His heart felt warm as he walked into the room, and could see his son’s sleeping face, with his thumb tucked into his mouth. Jude was fast asleep on his back, small little sighs leaving his mouth as he slept. Danny crept over to his crib, leaning over it as he watched the little boy sleep soundly. Danny watched his chest rise and fall, still scared that he was going to have a lapse in breathing. Jude had finally grown out of his sleep apnea, but it didn’t stop Danny from still being worried about it. 

Danny sighed and leaned his head on his arms, closing them for a second when he heard Jude stir. Danny picked his head up quickly and watched as the little boy moved around, readjusting to get more comfortable, and shifting the soft blanket that covered him. Once Jude was settled back into sleep, a deep sigh leaving his mouth, Danny fixed the baby blanket, slightly tucking him back in. Danny gently patted the back of his head, feeling his soft brown curls, and then leaned in to kiss his head. 

“Goodnight, baby,” Danny said, and left the room, to go lay down next to his wife.

taglist: @seventieswhore @zoelle16 @wildmoonchild906 @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @canyonmirrors @ohitselliana @gretavanfleas @callmebymym @thatcatbsong @gvfvanfleet @bigberkinbagholdfive @caprisunsister @strugglingtodoshit @idk-maddie @Age_of_Kristin @brokenbells11 @kirbishifts @fatefellshortthistime @myfriendtheghost @mylifeisjustafeverdream @shutupdevvie

[seenoversundown]

Amongst The Stars: Chapter Three

Josh x Quinn (Nonbinary OC)

Warnings: Misgendering of a nonbinary character, Men (that’s it. That’s the warning), Wallet chains, Jake being Sweet. Word Count: 4.1k Summary: Josh has always loved love,  and he's finally found it. Buuuut, he can't exactly tell anyone. Join him as he navigates the ins and outs of his sweet, secret romance. Author's Note: We are officially on our regularly scheduled programming. Every monday, babies. I hope you all enjoy this one and the little dual POV action. I just had to get quinn back in there for a little bit at the end :)

Can't Take My Eyes off You - Frankie Valli  “Pardon the way that I stare There's nothin' else to compare The sight of you leaves me weak There are no words left to speak”

I can’t stop thinking about Quinn after they leave. Every little thing I do draws my mind back to them. I know it’s wrong, and I shouldn’t be, but I am jealous of their partner. God, Josh, you sound insane. Pining for a person you’ve met one time, being jealous of their partner. Their partner doesn’t respect them, so their partner doesn’t factor in. Sometimes, I wish brains functioned like an etch-a-sketch because I try shaking my head to clear those thoughts, but it doesn’t quite work, and I end up with a minor headache. Oh well. I walk back up to the front of the store, disinterested in actually working now that my day has been positively derailed by a lovely and mysterious person in a pair of beat-up Doc Martens. 

I stand by the front registers, waiting to greet customers as they walk in. Hobby Lobby has never been my favorite place to work, but it really isn't so bad when you're a manager and can choose to fuck off on the clock if you want to.Which I do. I want to fuck off on the clock badly. I look down at my watch, noting that I only have 20 minutes until I can clock out for the day. There's no sense in starting a new task, I smile to myself. I'm pleased I've managed to time my “greeting responsibilities” so well with the end of my shift. I stand around for a minute, bouncing back and forth on the balls of my feet, and I let my mind drift back to Quinn. Their lips looked so plush and biteable. It should be illegal that they nibbled their lips in front of me while I didn't have the option to offer my assistance. 

I ponder their lips for another moment before my mind slips back to their concerning comment. “He’d done a lot worse for less…”  My eyebrows furrow as I try to imagine a situation in which I would be anything short of sweet and kind to Quinn. 

I meander out of the first set of sliding doors and step into the area where only the ugliest furniture goes to die. Goin’ to the Hobby Lobby lobby, I sing to myself as I take stock of the atrocious seasonal items that no customer would ever think to purchase. That's a lie; old women exist. I walk the area and make a mental note to bring the feather duster out tomorrow to tackle the growing piles of dust that inhabit the, reasonably, rejected items. I run my finger along the gilded frame of one of the paintings that’s propped up atop one of the fucking ugliest baby pink chalk-painted tables I've ever seen. Of course, it's chalk paint, I shudder. My thoughts return to the painting; it’s massive, at least two and a half feet long—a highland cow with fluffy hair covering its eyes and an inexplicable crown of leaves resting upon its stupid little horns. 

“Oh, Bessie,” I whisper, pulling my finger back from the frame and examining the dust that came with it. “They could never make me hate you. I may hate everything in this sad room, but never you.”  I decide to check the markdown schedule tomorrow because, as much as I love this goofy little cow, I will never take her home at full price. I do have some standards. 

As I'm about to turn around and head back into the store proper, I hear the entrance door slide open as a man about my age, give or take, walks through. 

“Oh! Hey, man. Welcome to Hobby Lobby,” I greet him.  “Lookin' for a dude named Josh.”  Me? I take a second to look him over. Curly, blonde hair that sits a bit too close to his eyes. Nondescript black tee with baggy jeans. A wallet chain attached to his belt loop. A fucking wallet chain. What year is this? Well-worn Adidas sneakers. He seems safe enough. A bit worse for wear, but he doesn't seem scary. 

“Ah, yep,” I stick my hand out, offering it in greeting, “that’d be me!” He looks at my outstretched hand and scoffs.  Okayyyyyyy, maybe I misjudged.  “I just wanted to talk with you, man to man.”  “About…”  “About you flirting with my girlfriend,” he cocks an eyebrow.  “Not sure what you mean, champ,” I let out an awkward chuckle.“Don’t pull that shit with me, man.”  “I’m afraid I really don't know what you're talking about. I haven't said more than ‘hi, welcome to Hobby Lobby’ to a girl in weeks.”  “So, you're gonna act like you have no idea who Quinn is?”  I narrow my eyes,  putting two and two together. This is Quinn’s shithead partner.  “I don't think they’d appreciate you calling them your girlf—” “I don't exactly care what she’d appreciate right now,” he cuts me off, “I'm here to talk to you.” 

Oh, so he reallyyyyyyyy doesn't respect them. Noted. 

“Yeah, so,” I roll my eyes, “you can talk at me, but you're not talking to me until you show some respect.”  I watch his face contort in confusion, quickly morphing into anger. “Why should I respect you?” He spits out quickly.  “Are you delusional? Just stupid?”  I can't help but laugh at the look on his face  “I’m not asking you to respect me,” I continue, “I'm asking you to respect your partner. It’s ridiculous that you're in here, trying to talk to me ‘man to man’ while you're misgendering them.”  I watch as realization dawns on his face.  “Come on, you know I didn't mean that.”  “I’m assuming you’ve been with them long enough to know better,” I watch his eyes slowly shift away from mine, “not that length of time has anything to do with respect.” 

His eyes fall to the floor, properly chastised. 

“I—”  “For what it’s worth,” I cut him off, “from the few minutes that I talked to Quinn today, in a purely professional capacity, I think they deserve better than whatever it is you have to offer.”  “Hey—”  “AND, don't forget that they’ll realize that one day. And when they do, someone will be waiting to treat them better.” 

I check my watch.  Time to gooooooo! 

“Anyway,” I pause, narrowing my eyes at him in a silent gesture to get his name.  “Craig.”  “Anyway, Greg, my shift is over. I don't intend to mention this to Quinn the next time I see them, and I’d suggest you don't either.” 

I turn on my heel and book it to the break room, practically sprinting by the time I make it to the double doors. I push through, throw my smock on one of the hooks above the time clock, and punch out. Finally, finally, I sit on the worn-out leather couch across from the lockers and let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. 

“What the FUUUUUUUUUUCK,” I lean my head back and groan. 

I didn't have “getting accosted by a fucking freak” on today’s bingo card, but I suppose I'll have to tick it off regardless. Who does he think he is? Who do I think I am? I don't talk to people like that. I pull out my phone and send a text to Jake, chuckling at his nickname in my phone. I'm five minutes older, and I will never let him live it down. 

Me: I think I messed up  Kiddo: Elaborate on that?   Me: No 

I slide my phone into my pocket and stand up from the couch, shaking some of the nervous energy from my limbs. I’ll explain everything to Jake when I get home; I just need him to know I may be in a mood. 

I let out a long sigh and slowly made my way out to the front of the store, praying to whatever gods existed that Craig would be gone by the time I got there. I thank all my lucky stars as I walk out of the first set of sliding doors and find myself alone. I glance once more at my girl Bessie, then head out to the parking lot. I glance in every which direction, ensuring that Craig isn’t hiding anywhere, waiting to pop out and murder me. Perhaps I am being dramatic, but my gut tells me you cannot trust someone who wears a wallet chain unironically. And I always follow my gut. 

I make it to my Jeep truck and sigh as I plant myself in the driver's seat, connecting my phone to Bluetooth and clicking into my Apple Music Discover Station. Occasionally, I find something new that I enjoy. The opening notes of a pop song filter over the speakers as I back out of my parking spot and pull through the parking lot. Sam would hate this; I’ll have to add it to the bar playlist. 

I bob my head to the music, driving down the road back to my apartment “I’m your dream come true when it's on a platter for you…” For some reason that brings Quinn to the forefront of my mind, I can’t help but think about what a piece of shit Craig was to me today. I hope he’s better to them, but something tells me he isn’t. The things they said about him today…My stomach clenches thinking about it. Someone like Quinn deserves the world, and Craig is obviously not giving it to them. I could. Okay, no, that’s crazy. 

I sigh, pulling up to the stop sign next to the bar that Jake owns. We’ve lived in the apartment above it for years, but the prior owner finally decided to sell it, and Jake took him up on the offer. Jake got a job down at the docks when we were freshly graduated from high school; he decided he didn’t care about college and just wanted to set himself up with a good job that would pay him enough to put money back in savings and have a little spending money on top, and in Portland… That’s the docks.  Not that he ever needed spending money; he didn’t (and still doesn’t) ever do anything for himself. He’s always been too busy taking care of everyone else. I can’t even remember the last time he took a nice girl out for dinner. 

I pull into the back side of the parking lot and slam my car into park, practically jerking my key out of the ignition and running through the backdoor of the bar, ready to see my twin after the horrendously long day I’ve had. 

“Uh, hey, bub,” Jake greets me from behind the bar with a confused wave.  “Hey, kiddo,” I sigh, sitting at the bar top, “can I get a salty dog?”“Sure thing, gin or vodka?”  I raise an eyebrow at him, signaling he doesn't need to be in customer mode with me.  “Surprise me.” 

I watch as he takes a bottle of Tanqueray gin from the top shelf, pours a measure of it into his cocktail shaker, and then adds grapefruit juice, lime juice, and ice. He shakes it, then strains it into a highball glass rimmed with salt and slides it over to me. 

I take a sip, and, of course, it's delicious. Jake indeed found his calling here — no one on this earth can make a cocktail like he can. 

“Perfect as always, Jake.”  “I don't make them any other way,” he starts, “now, wanna tell me about how you ‘think you messed up?’”  I slam back the rest of my drink and shake my glass, asking for another.  “Slow down, you're gonna drink me out of house and home,” Jake scolds, but prepares another one, nonetheless.  “I need a little help loosening my lips.”  “Get real, you've never had an issue talking in your life. If anything, you're too good at it.”  I roll my eyes but secretly know he’s correct. I'm a known yapper.  “I resent that, you know.”  “And I don't care, stop changing the subject.”  “Fine,” I huff, “I got into a fight with a customer today.”  “Physical or…”  “Verbal, obviously. Do I look like a scrapper?”  He chuckles, wiping non-existent dust off of the spotless bar top.

“Anyway, some crazy dude wearing a wallet chain, of all things, came in and yelled at me for hitting on his partner.”  “What?”  “Yes, Jake. A wallet chain. In 2024. I was baffled, too.”  “No! Not that, you weirdo. He yelled at you for what?!” “Oh, he thought I was hitting on his partner.”  “Well, were you?”  I sit and think for a moment. I wasn't not flirting with them, but it wasn't my initial intent.  “Maybe a little,” I sigh, “I didn't realize they were in a relationship. And I do have eyes. They were too cute. I had to try and shoot my shot or whatever the kids say.”  “You’d ‘shoot your shot’ with a wall. I’m honestly shocked this is the first time this has happened.”  “I resent that, too.”  “Add it to the list.”  “Anyway, I think the guy was just insecure. But I may have been rude to him.”  Jake slowly blinks at me.  “You were rude?”  “I know,” I laugh, “he just brought it out in me.”  “How rude were you?”  “Well, I jumped his ass for misgendering his partner.”  “That's not exactly rude,” Jake jumps in, “it’s quite the opposite, I'd say.”  “I’m sure he didn't feel that way.”  “Why do you care? You did what was right; plus, it’s not like you'll ever see this dude again. Hell, you probably won't even see his partner again. No harm, no foul.”  My stomach flips at the thought of not seeing Quinn again. We don't have time to unpack that. 

“Yeah, you're probably right. I’ll never see either of them again and, as of right now, he hasn't reported me to corporate. So, no need to stress.”  “Exactly right, bub.” 

I finish up my drink and set the glass down. 

“Thank you, Jake.”  “You don't have to thank me, I’ll always be on your side.” 

I reach out and pat his arm. 

“Also,” Jake starts, “I don't know the situation, but it’s pretty serious if you actually act rude to someone else. So, don't discount those feelings.”  What is he saying? I fix him with a confused look.  “I don't understand.”  “Look, Josh,” he sighs like he’s preparing to explain physics to a five-year-old, “I’m not telling you to get in the way of their relationship. But, if the opportunity to explore this arises, don't let that opportunity go to waste. It’s no small thing that you felt connected enough to this person to do what you did today.” 

“You know, I did tell the guy today that if he doesn't treat them right, someone else will be there waiting. Maybe I’m that someone.”  “You could be, if that's what you wanted.” 

I simply hum a response. Jake has given me too much to think about. 

“I appreciate you lending me an ear, brother,” I shove my stool back from the bar and stand, “but I have chores to take care of upstairs. Text me if you need a hand down here.”  “Will do.” 

I open the door to the apartment that Jake and I share above the bar. Home sweet home, finally. I kick my shoes off and walk into the living room, planting myself on the couch, thinking about Quinn the whole time. Something about them piqued my interest. I can't help but feel that if we’d met at a different point in time, we’d be together right now. That's ridiculous. You've spoken to them for a total of 3 minutes. 

It is true that I've only spoken to them for a few moments, but I noticed them the first time they ever came in while I was working. I've watched them from afar, hoping to find a way to actually converse with them. I was shocked when they found a way to converse with me first. Jake may joke about how I’d hit on anyone, but that's not true. I’m nice to everyone, and I'm flirty with a lot of them. But Quinn is different. And it's unbelievable that I feel that way. I don't wink at every single person I see, nor do I tell them how important their work is. I certainly don't get into verbal altercations defending other people. Verbal altercations are reserved for when someone is talking shit about my family. So, what makes Quinn different? I keep replaying our interaction in my mind. I got butterflies when they complimented my tattoo. I was practically shaking when they pulled me in for a hug. I was angry on their behalf when they insinuated that they don't have people who support them. 

What. Makes. Quinn. Different. 

I never act this way about strangers, but it's as if their soul called out to mine, and mine answered. It's the only way I can explain the way I handled Craig. I called him GREG just to piss him off. I never do shit like that. But he was an absolute chode. He kind of deserved it. I can internally debate whether he sucks or not all night, but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t speak like that to people, and if Quinn, sweet, curious Quinn, weren’t involved, I likely wouldn’t have spoken to him that way either. Regardless, I really need to find a way to get closer to Quinn. Good job; that sounds so creepy. What I mean is that I feel a soul-deep need to know this person. I don’t know in what capacity because it seems as though I’m entering their life a little late for it to be romantic. Which is what I want. But I could be just in time for friendship. I’ll take it if they truly want to extend the offer, but only time will tell. 

When Craig makes it back home, shopping bags in tow, Willa and I are roughly two and a half sheets to the wind. 

“Well, well, well,” Willa points an accusatory finger at him as he walks through the door, “The prodigal Greg returns.” I can’t help but snicker, knowing how much it pisses him off when: 1) Willa is here without warning 2) Someone calls him by the wrong name. 

“Hey, Willa,” He plastered on a pained smile. Willa turns to look at me, shock written on her face. That may be the nicest he’s been to Willa in months. Craig walks into the kitchen and places his bags on the counter. 

“Didn’t realize you were going to be here,” He half shouts from the other room, “But you’re welcome to stay for dinner if you want.” “Does he even know how to cook?!” She whispers. “He knows how to heat food up,” I shrug. “I’m making Eggplant Parm.” My eyes light up. It’s my favorite meal. “Maybe this is his way of apologizing,” I whisper to Willa.  She rolls her eyes but cuts me a devious look. “That sounds great, Craig. I’d love to stay if you’ll have me.”

“You girls just stay in there, and I’ll have it out in a jiffy.” “Jiffy?” Willa mouths, fighting back a laugh. “Girls?” I mouth back, shaking my head, and Willa’s face instantly sours. She knows that Craig has a hard time with my pronouns and prefers to ignore my identity. This is a regular point of contention in my relationship with Craig and, by extension, my relationship with Willa. I don’t understand why he does it, and she doesn’t understand why I let him get away with it. I don’t understand why I let him get away with it. He is quite literally just a man. 

Willa and I fall into silence for a moment before she grabs my hand and stage whispers just loud enough that Craig may hear. “I bet Stock Boy wouldn’t misgender you.” I hear a small crash from the kitchen, and I clap one of my hands over her mouth. “Stop!!”

I feel her tongue dart out and lick between my fingers, and I let out a squeal. I pull my hand back from her mouth and wipe it on her shirt. “You are an absolute monster. I’m not sure why I allow you to call yourself my friend.” “Oh, Quincy,” she lets out a cackle, “You wouldn’t know what to do without me.” 

I roll my eyes, but it’s true. She is the only thing that has kept me sane since we moved to Maine. She’s my rock. Kind of sad that your own partner isn’t your rock, Quinn. Willa picks up our empty wine glasses from the coffee table and shoots me a wink before heading into the kitchen. Surely, this will be fine. Willa trapping Craig in a room could not possibly cause anything terrible to occur. 

I can hear their muffled voices just enough to make out their conversation. ‘So, Craig. What did you get up to after Gamestop?’ I wince, waiting for his response to that emphasis. Willa has always been phenomenal at telling him that she knows precisely when he’s messed something up.  ‘Oh, uh. I just stopped by the grocery. Wanted to make it up to Quinn.’ Interesting.  ‘You were gone an awful long time to have just stopped at the grocery.’ ‘Mmm, yeah, well. I had to figure out what to make and how to make it. I’m not exactly a chef over here.’  ‘That’s an understatement,’ I wince again. What is she playing at? This situation is already precarious. ‘But, I suppose you get half of a point for trying. We’ll see.’ 

Willa walks back into the living room with two more glasses of wine for us. 

“He’s–” She starts at full volume before I shush her, connecting my phone to the Bluetooth speaker in the corner. Once the music starts playing at an acceptable volume to cover our conversation, I motion for her to continue.  “He’s lying. I can smell it on him. He didn’t just nip over to Hannaford and come home.” “I mean, obviously. He was gone for like three hours.” “You don’t care that he’s literally lying to your face.” “Technically,” I poke her side, “he lied to your face. And no, not really. If he came home and decided to be sweet for once, I’m not gonna question what it took to get him there.” “Quinn,” She says softly, reaching a hand out to pat my leg. “I know, Wills. But, just let me have this for the moment.”

She hums a non-response and drops the conversation. 

I should have questions. I should care. But, if he’s going to be sweet, I’ll take it where I can get it because these moments are becoming fewer and further between. 

“Dinner’s done,” Craig pops his head into the living room, “Y’all’s plates are already on the table.” Willa and I scramble to the kitchen table.  “Thanks, babe.” I kiss Craig's cheek before sitting down. “It looks great.”  “Anything for you, babe,” He beams. 

I see Willa’s lips quirk up in a slight grin and brace myself for whatever she’s about to do.

“So, Quincy. I’ve got a photography project I’m working on, but I need some supplies. Wanna come to Hobby Lobby with me tomorrow?” I let out a massive sigh as the color drains from Craig’s face, and I begin mentally preparing myself to do damage control, but Craig impresses me.  “That would be nice, Quinn. Y’all can get out of the house for a little bit. I’ll stay behind to clean up around here.” 

Willa sits in shock, clearly not expecting that response. 

“Oh, and Willa,” Craig smiles at her, “If you want to stay over tonight, I’ll take the couch. Don’t want you to drive home after you’ve had all that wine.” 

Maybe he’s turning over a new leaf. 

Even if Craig has decided to be a bit nicer after his moment earlier; I still can’t help the little shock of excitement that rushes through me at the thought of being able to see Josh again so soon. I’m not sure what it is about him, but I want to learn more about him. He’s the most compelling person I’ve met in a long time, and perhaps he feels the same about me. 

I’m excited to see if our friendship may blossom. 

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