#dag im about to cry
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I saw your hobie x ARFIDreader post and I really wanted to reblog it but idk why my brain wont let me without losing it so I saved it as a draft and I wanted you to know that it's incredible even tho I can't share it like you deserve
Awwww 🥰
That's so sweet of you to reach out to me. Thank you. I'm happy to hear my writing touched so many people.
#i had any idea for like an OCD Reader headcanons#i might finally get on that lol#i did not think as many people would read the arfid one as they did#dag im about to cry#anyhow#yeah#jay webs words
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they’re in love your honor 😭😭😭😭
oc kiss week day 3: sunrise
WIP: the chronicles of lathsbury (tcol)
SHIP: clear brightendale (he/him, medic) x forte symphonia (he/him, ranger aka an archer)
SUMMARY: on a quiet morning, forte finally replies to the feelings clear shared with him 4 months ago.
worldbuilding notes: technically this is a spoiler scene, as it happens after the main plot events of tcol's book 1. aside from the kissing, no spoilers are really prevalent though.
It happened on a quiet sort of morning.
It rained the night before, there was fresh dew on the ground in patches of wet earth and grass, and the land smelled of a certain kind of freshness that could only be found in nature. Forte breathed the smell in deep, sitting silently on the small patch of dry roofing that his childhood home had to offer.
It was good to be back, better even than he imagined. Forte was never suited for city life. People were constantly bustling, hustling; there was always an unyielding sense of urgency that was lost on him— an urgency that he couldn’t understand. With so little time with the grass beneath their feet and the wind in their hair; it was as though people were eager to do as much as possible to leave some kind of legacy behind. Piper was like that: brash, fierce, bold, unwavering. Last he heard from her she was almost at the top of her class at the knight academy. The mark she wanted to leave on this world was bright, and it radiated the same intensity. But quite her opposite, Forte preferred these quiet moments, and he was craving them by the time he finally was able to cash in some vacation time with Cameron to come see how everyone was doing back home.
Bass Landing was a quiet sort of place. People knew each other well, and there was never any need for formalities. The community had been supporting itself on the backbone of the arts for centuries, and the familial ties that everyone felt there were too rich, and rooted in history to be broken. Forte grew up amongst his neighbor’s gardens; tall leafy plants teaching him his first lessons in utilizing visage. The river that ran behind the furthest outskirts of the settlement was a tumultuous teacher of the treachery life could bring: almost every year, the River Cadenza brought forth her waves and flooded the landscape. Every year as Forte watched, he began to learn how to predict her near unpredictable nature. It was when he told his findings to his mother that he received his first bow; for he had proven the intuition of a Ranger. It was a test he was never informed he would be taking, but one he was glad he did all the same. It felt too easy to reminisce when he was on the roof like this.
“Up so early already?”
Clear’s voice wasn’t an unwelcome one. He’d shown the medic the way up here when they arrived together two evenings ago, and each morning he would sleepily crawl up the rickety ladder to join him in watching the sunrise. It hadn’t been a whim that Forte asked him home either. After they finally talked 4 months ago, and Clear divulged the true meaning behind his avoidance, they’d been becoming closer than ever.
It was also not unwelcome.
As per usual, Clear drowsily rubbed his eyes and yawned, hoisting himself up the rest of the way of the ladder with relative ease. It was easy to forget the strength hidden underneath his covered arms— a strength that was misleading. Almost embarrassed to admit to it, his mind recalled the moment he realized just how strong the medic was when Clear hoisted him clean over his shoulder like a deadweight that meant nothing to him. He’d called Clear in for a demonstration in one of his classes for the best methods to carry injured teammates away from the Labyrinth or battle, and the class was positively delighted to see it happen. It was also the first time they’d touched each other casually since that night Clear told him and Forte pretended not to notice Clear’s hand flexing in the aftermath, as he was too busy trying to calm his heart’s own shivers.
“It feels like you keep waking up earlier and earlier to test my devotion.”
Forte quirked a small smirk. “Maybe I am.”
The medic laughed, quietly but brightly, and the sound was personified sunlight. The first few rays of the sun were beginning to peak out over the horizon, and Forte looked over to Clear as he got settled in, scooting over slightly so they could somewhat share the small patch of dry roof. They were close enough their shoulders touched.
“You won’t get rid of me that easily, Fort.” Clear sighed, a happy sound, then he dropped his head unceremoniously onto his shoulder, leaning into him instinctively. And just as instinctually, Forte found his arm sliding out and snaking around Clear’s trim waist to support him.
They said nothing for a long while; the silence was comfortable, both more than willing to bask in the sunrise and the other’s presence than fill the silence with unnecessary chatter. It was one of the many things Forte came to appreciate about Clear. Though when he got worked up his mouth ran a mile a minute, he was truly a man who appreciated silence. Often, he’d seen him in various places around the Guild, meditating, humming softly to himself as he did. It was a few weeks ago that Forte had been invited to join him, and what he thought was humming before seemed to be some sort of invocation or a prayer:
♪ Blessed be those who follow Her Blessed be those whom She guides My soul worn and weary from life Has followed Her to great divide ♪
“And when my time has come, O She,” He heard Clear whispering to himself, as if on cue with his memory. “Comforter of those benign Will take me home to Cerullis And my heart Hers to hide.”
“Where did you learn that song?” Clear hummed again, this time noncommittal. He didn’t answer right away and Forte didn’t push him— with Clear, facing his demons and uncovering his past was something that took time, energy, and patience. Forte had time.
“We used to—” Clear cut himself off, thought, then started again. “It’s a song sung before hunts to remind those participating to be unafraid. Death is not here to hurt, but to guide away to the promised land.” Clear finally looked at Forte, his eyes surprisingly calm. “I still sing it because it reminds me to be unafraid.”
“Is there something you’re afraid of right now?” Forte asked, and Clear chuckled, softly. “No. Not at all. It just brings me comfort.” Clear nestled back into his chest without another word, and Forte let his hold tighten around the medic.
When the sun’s rays were fully visible, the sky turned a brilliant shade of blue, and Forte looked over at Clear again. He was nodding off again, and the sun’s light was perfectly positioned just right so that he could admire him. His lashes were long and dark, fluttering like butterfly wings over his half visible purple eyes. His hair dropped in front of his face like, casting delicate shadows over his cheeks and nose. His lips were plush, slightly parted, enough to see the beginnings of his teeth. Forte was overcome with the overwhelming desire to kiss him. It was becoming harder not to these days.
But in this quiet moment, in this sleepy town, with a gentle breeze blowing across the expanse of the trees, up his roof and through the hair of his companion, Forte felt his heart swell— in a way he hadn’t felt in ages.
“Clear.” The medic sleepily opened his eyes, rubbing them on the back of his knuckle. “Oh! Sorry, did I fall asleep on you?” He began to sit up but Forte’s grip on his waist tightened, giving the other man pause. He looked at him questioningly. Somewhere in those bright, searching violet eyes, Forte saw poorly disguised hope.
“I love you.”
The wind blew Forte’s dark hair back from his face, and he watched the myriad of emotions morph on his companion’s face. He stayed perfectly still, letting him process it. His heart was a painful drumbeat against his ribs.
“You…. Mean that?” Clear finally settled on. He looked nervous—hopeful, but nervous. Afraid it was too soon. Never that it was a joke. He knew Forte would never joke with him like this. Not after what he said before.
Forte’s smile was soft, his eyes crinkling at their corners and genuine and something like a tidal wave crashed into Clear’s body that made it very hard to breathe. He didn’t say anything else, afraid of breaking whatever spell the two of them were under, with Forte looking at him like some immeasurably precious thing, and Clear too stunned to believe it was him he was looking at. But Forte broke the moment; he leaned in, and pressed soft, if chapped, lips against Clear’s own.
Kissing Forte was overwhelming, in the best way. Clear slowly let himself reply, pressing back gently, letting his eyes slowly fall closed and his arms slid up his firm chest to pull Forte closer. He went. His other arm came around to rest on Clear’s waist, and he tilted his head, letting the kiss fall deeper.
Clear smelled of lavender and fresh linen, and Forte felt intoxicated by the way lithe hands slowly climbed into his hair, tugging gently, but purposefully. Forte licked gently at the lip pressed against his, and Clear easily opened his mouth, and their tongues slid languidly against one another— enough to hint at an underlying desire that they would perhaps explore later. Much later. For now, it was enough to prod, to acknowledge, to taste, to slowly savor.
Forte slowly pulled back but didn’t stray far, and watched reverently as Clear’s eyes fluttered open. Their foreheads touched together gently, and the sun climbed higher in the sky, illuminating them.
“I love you too.” Clear said softly back and Forte smiled again, rubbing a thumb against his cheek and letting the warmth of the new morning envelope them in its embrace.
It felt like a new beginning
#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IM SO UGLY CRYING ABOUT THEM#i think they’re the most tender ship i have aside from anything with dag#like OUGHHHHHHH
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Griddlehark Cry Counter - 17th Augustus, 2024
00.34- a continuation of yesterday, maar dit is de eerste huil van de dag. Ahem:
me: this is getting to be a lot of crying about fictional characters for someone whose bedtime alarm has already gone off. let's put away the devices and try to turn off the brain! *takes meds*
me, 30 mins later: *bawling about the characters anyway, relents, ends up on fucking patreon*
see im aware of when it's a lot. I'm aware. That doesnt mean i can stop it 💪😎 #autism
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Pinky you good? You reblogged like five "I'll be okay" posts.
It's 1 am and I'm dealing with ✨️emotional damage✨️ but I'm about to go to bed because I dealt with it healthily as possible by crying like a baby, reading my Bible to calm down, and then reading some cute positive things.
I think it's my time of the month making things more dramatic than they should be.
I'll be fine probably when I get some sleep and turn off the dag on air. I can't SLEEP WHEN IM COLDDD
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After playing an unhealthy amount of dragon age out of a misguided notstalgia, and then playing assassins creed again, theres just something so
Lonely
About assassin's creed.
That i cant quite put my finger on.
#assassins creed#dragon age#maybe its about game companions?#da is all about a squad working together to a common goal#whatever that goal may be#ac is all you may have friends but they will all leave eventually and you will end up at the end alone#thinking about when conner buries achilles#or dag challenges eivor and wont yield to the bitter end#aya and bayeks final goodbye#im not crying you are#they are heartbreakingly lonely games
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my dad as soon as i wake up: “go eat”
me: “i can’t”
my dad: repeats “go eat” many times until he grows angry
me: “homie i can’t”
my dad: yelling me at me to go eat
me: angry, goes to make food
my dad: comes back half an hour after to untouched food
my dad:
#sorry im just venting#ill delete this later im just really upset#dont force me to eat#do NOT force me to est#eat*#i have this bowl of cereal and i dont know what to do with it#i cant wait until he retires and stays home#just saying thst makes me feel guilty because its sarcastic but i already cry every dag#day*. i cant handle this shit#he treats me like im 10. im not allowed to go anywhere. hang out with anyone. just sit on my laptop and write#always super weird when i spend money#what the FUCK#its so controlling when you hear it but like when you’re living it and it feels like the norm ?#and you see everyone else with their freedom and their ability to make choices#this is why i dont want to be a mother#have my kids hate me because of my parenting techniques because of how i was brought up#i HATE being pakistani and hate being a first born citizen and i wish i were wh*te#the fucking misogyny#the fucking way everyone only talks about MARRIAGE#IM FUCKING 19#im going to be independent#im so ANGRY
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So let's talk about Overhaul. (Obv S4 SPOILERS FOR MHA)
So I know we're all thinking, he's a villain. He abused a child, and this makes him a terrible person. Right?
Wrong. If you think so, I mean... it doesn't make you wrong actually. But I think it's more of a "wrong idea" kinda thing.
To be fair, this is all just a rant on my perspective because, I am a huge Overhaul fan. No, not because of his looks. Not because of his physical appearance at all, and I can't really tell you for sure if it has anything to do with his personality. But here's what I can tell you for sure- the reason he did what he did (while the way he went about it was wrong, absolutely wrong) drew me in and I found myself kinda sympathetic. Mind you I first met him in the manga and did not remember him until rewatching the anime. And then first time I watched season 4, I hated his guts. Really, I did. And even rewatching it with my sister (who is @sleepysampai in case you're wondering) I hated him, though I once again understood his reasoning to some degree. My sister can tell you, when I first saw him on screen again I was prolly snarling like some rabid dog because I was so upset at his existence. But then I watched that scene where his arms get taken away. And holy heck. That expression. Y'know, this one:
Dag. It... the entirety of this... idk how to describe it. I thought it would bring me satisfaction but ohhh no. I cannot tell you how much... PAIN I felt. Well, not very surprising coming from an empath, or at least somewhat of an empath, but. Yeah. That's when I found myself falling for Overhaul. No, not because he was in pain and I liked that look on his face, I'm not a sadist... I think.
But it was because, ultimately... that expression looked like a cry for help. And my heart really said, "yo idc if ur a villain pls lemme be ur hero- is that cool w/u Renny? it's not???? well too bad bye"
Aaand yeah. So now here I am, ranting about him. And how I think, idk if this is a popular or unpopular opinion but... I 100% firmly believe that Kai deserves redemption. In fact, I am so in love with this thought of Kai redeeming himself that I have made a few comics based off a redemption AU Kai. Although they're with my OC so yeah, y'all may not be interested... haha. Well. Anyways.
My point is, yes. Kai Chisaki did do bad things. Does that make him a terrible person? Well... No, actually. Just think about it this way: He sinned. Without a doubt. Just like every other human being, he sinned. Maybe he sinned worse than many other humans, but... we all sin and make mistakes. Maybe we don't all think we deserve to be forgiven for our sins, but... really, we all deserve a second chance. See, there's two people in this world I cannot bring myself to forgive; namely, someone who hurt me really bad, and myself. And they're both connected to the same event. The underlying reasons. The reasons why we do bad things.
See, just think. People commit crimes such as stealing. Some people certainly don't steal for good reasons, yeah? But then you have those people stealing to provide for their families, their friends, their pets or whatever. It all comes down to perspective and underlying reasons. Now, Kai's reason for ultimately using Eri was because he wanted the yakuza to rule society like it used to. It was his way of paying back the old man for saving his life and helping him. The problem was nothing more than that he had it all twisted and wrong in his head. I think, to some degree, we're all at least a little twisted. Except Mogami Jun. He's an angel.
Um, anyways... the way he went about repaying the old man was absolutely wrong. He definitely should not have 1) put said old man in a coma, 2) proceed to use the old man's granddaughter to make quirk-erasing bullets and abuse her and 3) kill Sir Nighteye and hurt sun Mirio.
Because, Overhaul:
No killing people's vibes. Or people. K? K. Moving on, yeah. I think you get what I'm saying.
So to wrap up my rant thing... Overhaul did bad things, yes, but that doesn't make him a terrible person. You can and have done terrible things, perhaps not to the same extent, but that doesn't make you a terrible person who is beyond redemption.
So I just thought I'd say that... It's probably not valid or anything bc I'm super tired and it's 3:33am. But I've felt the need to rant about it since yesterday sometime so yeah. Anyways... sorry. G'bye and I'm sorry for making you deal with my long post about Overhaul n stuff ✌ just as a bonus for the pain take some blushie Overhaul doodles I did like a week ago or smth
Oh and as a bonus take this one panel from my comic bc yeah.... he soft towards my OC bc they used to be best friends. anyways BYE AND IM SORRY
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#chisaki kai#kai chisaki#overhaul#mha season 4#mha s4#mha s4 spoilers#bnha season 4#bnha s4#bnha s4 spoilers#sorry for the rant#rant post
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biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihhhhhhhh ik ook!!!! like ik ben echt een mega fan when it comes to bts ik kan de hele dag naar hun filmpjes enzo kijken and people actually know me as that one crazy girl that likes bts maar ik heb nog niet iemand gevonden die hetzelfde level as me is you know??? but im happy that i met u thoo so we can cry about bts in dutch :))))))
yasss ik moet u echt eens voorstellen aan mijn irl vriendin sophie (even erg into bts als wij twee) WE MOETEN ALLEMAAL EEN GROEPSCHAT AANMAKEN (dutch armys best armys #sorrynotsorry)
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Please Don’t Lie
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Seventeen Dino x Reader
Songfic: Txhob Dag Kuv- David Yang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJzjonmYjJ4
Im seriously sorry for so many angst Enjoy ~
vim li cas wb tau los nyob li no (why are we like this?)
cia kuv noog koj, (lemme ask you)
koj txoj kev hlub muab pub kuv tseem nyob (the love you gave me, is it still here?)
I watched as he quietly walks out of the room, slamming the front door on his way out. I sat down on the couch, in the empty room, alone. Dino and I have been arguing over small things lately and it’s gotten to the point where I wonder if I did something wrong. Maybe I did but it makes me question what. He’s been nip-picking every thing I do.
Our relationship has always been like this, Dino has been very long and sweet boyfriend, but it recently began to change. I wonder if the love he gave me was still here, with me.
vim kuv twb hlub koj tag lub siab (cause i loved you with all my heart)
koj txawm nthe los kuv tseem hnia (even though you yell at me, i still kiss you)
tseem qhia rau koj tias kuv hlub koj tiag (i still tell you i really love you)
I bit my lips hearing him yell at something I did, in a way he didn’t like. I still love him with all I had. Even when he got mad, I waited for him to calm down before I head over and gave him a kiss to apologize. He doesn’t react but even though, I still tell him. I tell him that I love him, that I really still do love him. I try to show it to him as well however nothing appears on his face.
koj txawm dag thiab koj txawm khiav mus deb npaum cas lo lawv tsis hlub
(even though you lie and run as far as you can they won't love you)
xav tias koj nrhiav taus tug tshiab (you thought you found a new one)
tabsi koj tseem rov los rau kuv (but you came back to me)
Everytime he would go out, he ends up so drunk, lying through his teeth to his friends. They would tell me and ask me to come and pick him up. No matter what happens, even though he flirts with other girls they don’t love him. He left me a few times for another but always ended up coming back to the shared apartment and begging for another chance. I always gave it to him.
vim li cas (why)
kuv twb ntshai tias koj yuav dag (i was scared you would lie)
koj twb txawj ua kuv lub neej tsaus (you know how to darken up my life)
koj tseem xav ko kuv lub neej tag (now you want my life to end)
I didn’t understand why. I knew he lied but I was afraid of his lies. I was afraid of getting hurt however I love him. He knows how to make my life seem a bit darker, making me feel my self-confidence drop.
“No one will ever love you.. You’re not pretty.” He said, bringing darkness into my life. Making me feel that I will never be able to find some who will love me. It’s like he was my life to end. He wants me to end the life with me.
puas yog (am i right)
thawb npaum cas lo tsis xav ntog (push as much but you don't wanna fall)
nthe npaum cas lo tsis xav txog (yell as much but you don't think about it)
I know I’m right. After a while, no matter how much I tried to make him fall in love again, he doesn’t budge. He continue going out, flirting with other girls, coming home late, shaming on my self-esteem. I love him but It hurts me. The yelling and arguments been more constant and words spill out like trash. There was no emotion towards what he had said to me. It got to the point were I began to cry myself to sleep. I didn’t know what to do. I stayed, hoping that the Dino I knew would come back to me. I hoped that he would return to me.
vim koj txawm hlub kuv hlub dag hlub tiag lo koj lub siab yeej tsis nrog
daim, kuv, lub, siab
(cause you know how to love me, fake love, prove love but your heart isn't by my heart)
Dino knew how to make me stay, he gave me the hope. He would sometime come back giving me small presents like he used to do every month, whether it was taking me out or a small gift. But I don’t know if it was real or fake. He knew how to gave me hope, to prove that he still had love, but was he really by me? Is he really still with me, is his heart still with me? His heart feels as far away from my heart, I don’t know if I could feel the presence.
koj cia kuv siab mob npau no (you let my heart suffer like this)
yog koj mus dua txhob rov los (if you leave again don't come back)
es kuv thov koj (i'm begging you)
Dino’s schedule repeats, he goes out brings a girl home, apologize, gave me the loving that I need. However when we fight, he would leave, break it off and come back.
“Im done.. we’re over!” He shouts… I couldn’t stand my heart suffering again.
“I beg of you Dino….” I began, finding the words to say. He scoffed and left through the door before I could finish my sentence. I fell to my knees, crying out my tears.
“I beg of you, if you leave this time…. Don’t come back… I can’t stand my heart breaking over and over.” I cried in the palms of my hands. I spent time collecting my stuff as I continue crying.
kuv hais tias kuv thov koj (i said i'm begging you)
txhob hais tej lus dag rau kuv ua rau kuv siab mob (don't tell me lies that'll hurt my heart break)
I watch him come in, his eyes lands upon me in the corner of the room with my bags by the door. I look up at him, with tears in my eyes, I waited for him and I’m tired of waiting for the one I once love to come back.
“_________….” His voice soften at my sight. He never did like seeing my cry, it was rare to see but he never wanted to see it.
“Don’t… Please… I beg…. Don’t tell me lies…” I said, covering my ears and hiding my face in my knees. I didn’t want to hear anymore. My hopes had been pushed up and down, my love had been pushed around, my heart had been broken.
“I’m sorry..” He said, embracing me in his arms. I cried, knowing that he was lying.
yog koj xav mus ces koj mus taus (if you wanna leave, then go as you please)
cia kuv nyob kuv ib leeg (just leave me alone)
es kuv tias li mus taus (then i can move on)
He sat with me as I continue to cry. His embrace and warmth, making me feel more tears and sadness.
I tried to push him away when he held on.
“Why are you pushing me away?” His voice was in soft whisper.
“If you want to leave, then go…. Im tired of everything. You don’t love me anymore… If you want to leave, leave… Just leave me alone so I can move on..” I said, turning away from him. He stayed quiet, letting what I’ve just said sink in. His arms around me pulled me into a tighter hug.
vim koj tsis xav tias kuv muaj siab thiab (you think i'm heartless and)
txawm kuv tsis zoo li tug koj xav nrhiav (even though i'm not the one you're looking for)
txhob dag kuv mos (don't lie to me)
“No…” He said, firmly.. I looked at him. My heart practically begging me to tell him to leave.
“Please…. For my heart… It seems that lately you don’t realize it that I have a heart… If Im not the one you want please don’t lie to me and tell me that I am. Please.. Im begging you… Don’t lie to me” My voice on the edge of breaking. He shakes his head and never let me go.
cia kuv thov koj (i'm begging you)
yog koj tsis hlub kuv tiag (if you don't really love me)
thov koj muab kuv tso (please let me go)
“Please Dino…. Im begging you… I can’t anymore…. Please leave…. If you don’t love me please let me go…. You don’t love me anymore…. So please… let me go..” I said as my heart pleaded..
“I love you still __________.” His voice barely audible.
txhob dag kuv mos [don't lie to me]
txawm kuv tsis zoo li tug koj xav nrhiav (even though i'm not the one you're looking for)
txhob dag kuv mos (don’t lie to me)
“Please don’t lie to me Dino… Please don’t lie to me.. don’t get my hopes up.. Don’t lead me on..” I pushed him away, finally breaking away from his embrace.
The tears in my eyes finally dried as I finally stood up. Grabbing my things I headed out the door.
“Even if I wasn’t the one you were looking for, I really hope that you find that one.” I said before heading out the door.
“_________! I love you… Please.” He shouts running after me, grabbing my hands.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you anymore.. You lied to me..” I said, not looking at him, only pulling my wrist from his grip. Even though I’m not pretty, or the one you were looking for Dino. I waited too long for the one I love to come back.
#dino#seventeen#seventeen dino#dino seventeen#lee chan#seventeen scenarios#lee chan seventeen#dino scenarios#kpop scenarios#kpop angst#kpop#ak-fantasies imagines gallery
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are you my dad
- dag nabbit
- a distinguished boy just wants some distinguished khakis :(
- bring back my boy jamie
- garnet and pearl building a sand castle is precious and im crying
- tiny home for crabs im
- yellowdad
- but also onion!!!
- sad, worried sour cream :$$$$
- barb is wildin
- gem!?>??!@?/
- connies anime, amethysts ???, pearls humble talent, garnets garnet
- “uh garnet you just drew yourself” “uh i like me”
- “ruby and sapphire!!” “uh no”
- connie bein a little too optimistic about this gem despite stevens recent interactions
- BROH IM YELLING WTH
- aqua gmfu
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It's been a while
Hey guys,
No this blog is still up and running sorry on accounts of my life either being the best or worst days of my life. I haven't been into writing this sad moments. Sometimes it is hard to get up without being worried that life is gonna throw a hard ball at me. I really can not breathe without being scared, I should not be afraid. But I am because life does not revolve around me, I know that and even though I know it. It doesnt make it any easier, personally it makes giving up more easier.
It is a brave thing to live in a world that you know is not morally correct in anyway. I sometimes feel that living is a punishment, happiness is a blessing that barely happens for me. I should be more happy as of late, but all I can feel is hatred for the people who achieve more happiness than I ever will. Is it jealousy, hatred, or just remorse for what a rotten life I have. I cry about it more than I can count, it is a pity party for one that I can exit from. I get asked everyday why am I so angry? I cant answer because Im so tired of dealing with living in a world that the cards have made near impossible to have a life.
Yeah I may have a negative outlook but I cant get out of, it is a very frustrating thing. That is something I can not change without feeling the rejection of being told I cant be help, I get so mad because I want help and I cant have it. No one around be can purify this demon which lingers over me, it pulls at my heart strings and tears at my mental health. One dag I hope to find the help I am seeking regardless of what it is.
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Ughhh run to you is soooooo good and of course getaway car but that run to you just makes me think about monchele and that dag in july and im just gunna go cry all day
I love that one too! I think it’s the best one of the new songs yet
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iM cRyInG
I had a joke character called Mow Mow for like 2 years and she had a best friend she secretly resented because he didn’t do any work and got everything he wanted (his name was Dag). But now MMHP is around and I’m sacrificing my right to talk about my own character because BABY BOI I LUV HIAM.
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There is a curious, almost parental response to seeing former child stars become adults especially when so few manage to do so unscathed
When it comes to sudden bursts of sobbing, I tend to cry mostly where Im meant to: a sad commercial about a lonely pensioner; anything to do with baby animals in crisis; the entire back catalogue of Joni Mitchell.
So it was a surprise when I felt tears stinging my eyes as I watched Bindi Irwin and Derek Hough take on the rumba complete with that lift from Dirty Dancing on the US Dancing With the Stars. What was I, a grown woman without the slightest interest in the Irwin dynasty or celebrity dance contests (Im more of a So You Think You Can Dance type), with a well-developed distaste for anything Society of the Spectacle-esque, doing frantically scouring the net each week for the news of Bindis latest Dancing triumph?
It is, in fact, the same response Ive had to Irwins routines throughout this season, and will likely experience again today and tomorrow as she faces the Dancing finale, the favourite out of four remaining celebs: a curious mix of pride, affection and, in some way, relief. Relief because Irwin seems on target to escape the jaws of former child stardom more or less unscathed, which is not a privilege afforded to many whove grown up in the spotlight.
There is a curious, almost parental response to seeing former child stars become adults. I recall going to see Cameron Crowes middling We Bought A Zoo and feeling quite overcome with emotion at the sight of Patrick Fugit formerly the bright-eyed teen reporter William Miller in Almost Famous all grown up. It was all I could do to stop myself from running to the screen, placing my hand on the projection of his face, and cooing, Last time I saw you, you were only this big!
In a poignant Washington Post profile, immediately after the release of Little Children, his big comeback role, the actor Jackie Earle Haley discussed the perils of growing up in the spotlight. When youre a child actor and youre a celebrity, he said, your identity gets attached to that.
My self-esteem got attached to this thing that wasnt real, and when that stopped, youre stuck with an identity that doesnt exist. Thats a deep hole to climb out of.
To climb out of that hole in the shadow of the enduring tragedy of your famous fathers death would be a whole different reckoning. Seeing Bindi pay tribute to Steve in her Dancing contemporary routine initially discussing his legacy in the confident and affectionate way weve come to expect from her, before crumbling into shaking sobs at the dances conclusion was sobering.
The Natalie Portmans and Joseph Gordon Levitts of the former-child-star pantheon are few and far between. And, in an increasingly mean-spirited celebrity news cycle, whod attempt to grow up after a childhood career without entering witness protection? Time and 24/7 content has not been kind to Haley Joel Osment, Jake Lloyd, Amanda Bynes, Britney Spears and countless other former child stars.
Writing in Salon after Byness well publicised meltdown last year, Prachi Gupta reflected on the uphill battle former child stars face as they age. Theres a reason that successful child stars are seen as the exception, not the norm. Who could reasonably expect Britney Spears to be a functional adult when at 16 she was the worlds No 1 sex symbol?
Until recently, you might have counted Irwin among those names (after all, who can forget her 2006 rap single, Trouble In The Jungle?). Its possible nay, likely that her appearance on Dancing With the Stars is part of a carefully calibrated PR offensive that will see her delivered from awkward teenagerdom and back into the limelight as a capable and popular young adult.
But for all of Irwins assuredness on the dance floor and in front of the camera, its in the behind-the-scenes footage that I find my she made it! tendencies going into overdrive, because its there that shes precisely not the assured, PR-friendly teen that weve come to know. Watching her goof around with Hough and attempt the famous lift in what appears to be a millpond out the back of the studio, grunting oh, jeez! and yelling like a big dag, its clear that shes going to be A-OK.
And one things definitely guaranteed: Ill cry when she dances in the finale.
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