#dad let them get outside
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official gn post
#hoping my dreams dont suck#ill probably dream about work#only interesting thing that happened today soo#actually maybe ill dream about the cats#dad let them get outside#hopefully that doesnt make it a negative one..#please let me dream about my cats#and let it be a good dream
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every year for ace's birthday two-bit swipes her a deck of cards except they arent regular playing cards. over the course of the year, he swipes a new pack that's different from the last (blue cards, red cards, specialty cards, etc) and he takes the aces out of each of them to make her her own specialty pack
he gives the rest of the cards to ponyboy who likes to paint over them and make ace custom cards (ace's favorite card is when he drew her as the queen of hearts because he drew her with box braids wearing this one dress she loved when they went window shopping like three months prior)
your brain is so incredibly huge i hope you know this. UGH the deck full of just aces????? insane work i adore it so much. he’s constantly on the lookout for different decks and asks everyone else to look too rahhhh!!!! i know the gang gets her the best birthday gifts. i like to think darry mends all the gangs clothes and i know he would stitch aces into her clothing!! soda would get her a gag gift and a real gift. steve would put soooooo much thought into it and get her something she mentioned once like 5 months ago. oh my god wait the gang would go Insane with the birthday punches it’s an all out brawl
pony painting the cards goddddd. most of them are versions of ace but he puts in the rest of the gang too sigh. ace getting to see herself being feminine god!!!!! even if it’s just on a card something about it feels relieving. also ace in box braids…… you are so enlightened
#ace and her relationship with her and others hair is so important to me and such a metaphor#ace taking care of everyone’s hair cause it’s the way she shows her love#she’s like darry she can’t say it but she can take care of them#there’s always a haircut/style day for the gang where they all sit down in the curtis kitchen and take turns#soda only lets ace cut his hair just like he only let his dad cut it#he had awful sensory issues as a kid and hated getting it cut#so his dad had to do it. then ace.#and as i’ve said post canon only ace can wash ponys#i have more thoughts and that’ll be a post i fear#and ace with her own hair sigh#how she used to keep it longer and then cut it to protect herself#the mental image sigh#how you could be anything but obsessed with her is beyond me#the outsiders#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders musical#ace the outsiders#the outsiders ace#ace outsiders#ace ilysm#twobit mathews#two bit mathews#ponyboy curtis
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People playing Ensekai vs people playing JPSekai
#project sekai#pjsekai#I know Toya’s dad had one w at the end of the story but still#I hope we get an Akito/Ena event at next year at this time so I can update this with the Shinonomes dad#Also they really went and said “you aren’t imagining it Mafuyu and Toya do have parallels” and gave them the same scene with the same#conclusion.#I need an event with them now but they’ll never not let Toya talk to anyone outside of WxS#Again I know this isn’t funny why do you think I use Reddit?
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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Every description about Nico (especially the canon ones) describing him as “cold” can personally fight me. Nico is jaded, yes, and often closed-off and sometimes stand-offish and defensive but he is not "cold”. He cares SO SO SO MUCH about EVERYONE. He loves and cares with his entire heart constantly and that is a core part of his character. He doesn’t often make public shows of his affection but he takes care to be kind when it matters and doesn’t hide that he does care (usually, the only exception really being him being in the closet, but even then he only hid his crush specifically and not the fact that Percy is important to him). He fine with hugging his friends in front of a crowd and will sit with strangers at a campfire just so they’re not alone. I mean, heck, he’s an extrovert! We know this! He actively seeks out people and gets lonely very quickly and easily! If he can’t talk to living people he will chat with the dead! That’s how much he thrives on being social!
The only time Nico has ever been actively “cold” was the couple of months between TTC and BoTL when he was actively mourning Bianca. Nico is not “cold.” He loves so much and he does show it, just in his own way.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#analysis#brought to you by: I saw a blurb for TSATS that said something like ''Will melted through Nico's icy heart/cold exterior''#and it made me want to tear something apart with my teeth because of how Blatantly Incorrect that is#like that is a disservice to both their characters.#a.) Will did not ''fix'' Nico or ''change'' him or anything. He is just a source of joy in Nico's life#TOA even explicitly acknowledges that them dating did not ''fix'' Nico and that Nico is actively getting outside help for his trauma/etc#and b.) Nico is not cold!!! He has never been a cold person!!! there's a reason ''emo'' is short for ''emotional!''#Nico's character is ENTIRELY DRIVEN BY LOVE AND CARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE#yes he's jaded but he's only jaded in a way of being afraid of letting people into his life because he's afraid to lose them#not that it stops him because it sure does keep happening anyways because SURPRISE. HE LOVES TOO MUCH.#HE LITERALLY CANNOT HELP HIMSELF HE LOVES PEOPLE SO STRONGLY AND SO DEEPLY HE CANNOT STAY JADED ABOUT IT#he just keeps going ''Okay *THIS* time I won't let this person into my life to risk heartbreak- AW FUCK I'VE DONE IT AGAIN''#SO MUCH of his character is entirely driven by ''I care about people. I dont want them to suffer what i have suffered or suffer at all''#like really the only times we ever see Nico being actively angry/snappy at people#is like a.) He is either actively being majorly hurt or has just recently been majorly hurt (Bianca's death. Being outed. etc)#b.) Someone is hurting others is going to bring harm to others (Calling out his dad in TLO. Killing Bryce)#or c.) Someone is doubting or calling into question his lived experiences (Basically any scene where people say he's pushing people away)#other than that Nico actually tends to give people way more lenience than necessary. he will put up with a LOT#and he won't even call people out on it or hold a grudge about it (i see you alleged Nico's fatal flaw. you're wrong)#unless it's like. something A Lot Of People Do Often (ex: push him away/exclude him/etc)#at which point he might be like. mildly upset about it but not much more then that. which is just a normal measured response.#anyways Nico's not cold he's just autistic
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the MW fandom so bad on Twitter that fuckin. jimcurly shippers say their ship is ok cause “they deserve each other” but then think youre a terrible person for suggesting that anya and curly like. cared about each other deeply and fucked up. i hope this fandom dies soon dear lord.
Jesus Christtttt I hope the yaoiheads die forever. Like. What the hell is it with people wanting to ignore everything there is to be said about Curly and Anya's complicated ass relationship in favor of painting Curly as a cartoonishly bad person and Anya as someone who didn't volunteer to take care of him in fucking terrible condition Despite Everything. There's so fucking much to say about Anya and Curly as people who were hurt by the same person and watched the other be hurt by the same person and ended up stuck together at rock fucking bottom in that nurse's room but nobody wants to talk about that because there's "good" abuse victims and "bad" abuse victims and they can't have any attachment to each other even if they do in text despite ultimately failing the other because uhhhh no they didn't. I fucking guess.
#asks#anon#like the recurring pattern of people ignoring Anya's stated feelings about shit in text presumably for “her own good” or whatever makes me#fucking lividddddd like why can't you fucking let her have complicated feelings about things why do you boil her down to an angry girlboss#to live out your own fantasies through like you're killing her fucking agency even outside of the game Jesusssss. and the way people are#about shipping Jimmy and Curly is like. insane. “they deserve each other” even before the crash that was textbook emotional abuse. doesn't#excuse shit but it's fucking important context I think. also the fucking feast scene has always read as like. a parallel to sa to me.#forcing something down his throat when he can't do anything about it plus the whole “someday he'll thank me” shit like that was cannibalism#as an act of violation. before it blew up in his face Curly was blind to Jimmy's shit but it was all Anya could see. like there's so much to#say about Anya and Curly in terms of narrative as well as how they actually were about each other but those conversations get immediately#shut down with just “Curly was an enabler” because nobody likes to entertain the idea that there's an actual person behind the mistakes.#and that's the fucking thing about mouthwashing! at the end of the day they're all just people! but nobody wants to accept that! they just#want them to be the victim the guy we dont talk about the innocent one the dad and the stupid fuck who let it happen. & it makes me violent.#anyway.
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#yosuke in dad mood looking out for his friends making sure everyone gets home safe#like LISTEN hes the one that initiated this trip but hes also just#im insane for how he and yu and kanji just standing by the side watching the others#im insane when i think about this scene in conjunction with his shadow saying that he just wants to be surrounded by people#i feel like he and yu especially understand what it's like to be surrounded by people but not quite feeling like they were a part of them#just an outsider looking in#but it doesnt bother him as much/anymore#because he knows he isnt because he knows kanji and yu especially get him and even if he tries to pull away his friends wont let him!!#and he in turn just wants to look after them too#he's good with his queue
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Is there any ideas/theories/etc about tf2 in general that you believe in?
Hmmm not particularly anything to do with the main story, But I have seen this idea a while back from this really cool artist (someone found it in the replies check it out :3) But Its a personal explanation for the whole blu and red teams being the same people, It basically goes that each time Redmond or Blutarch would hire a new merc, the other would clone them . so it was basically a back and forth cloning match until the whole team was assembled. So I like to use that concept as a base and decide who would and wouldn't be the clone and such. Personally I think Red Medic, Soldier and Pyro are Clones and Blu Demo, Heavy, Sniper and spy are clones :3 not sure which scout is real and I am not gonna try to figure something out 😭 this is probably super close to the original post since I barely remember the original artist's interpretation........ Okay thats all its really cool
#averitext#please let me know if you know them#I dont know if I even reblogged the post#i think the idea is so good though#its better than one of the teams being clones#plus red medic makes so much sense as a clone to me#we haven't seen this guy outside of battle or action in the whole comic#do you have a family bro. a house#GET A JOB!!!!#red soldier too#he is not completely human i truly believe.#they fucked up the pain endurance when cloning him 100%#i think red scout is a little tricky though#cause from the meet the team videos and the comic it looks like red spy us both his dad and blu scouts dad#or he could just be fucking blu scouts mom actually#okay I am changing that
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eagle vision isnt enough i need those assassins to grow wings
#painfully. if it wasn’t clear. it should be borderline body horror.#rebecca has to convert yhe whole animus set up AGAIN when desmond’s start growing in because he physically can’t let anything touch his back#because it hurts so much#and even when they do come in i think desmond’s the type to stress preen himself until he’s got bald patches. given the situations he’s in#constantly. oh. thinks about bleeding effect ezio or altaïr in his head seeing his damaged wings. perceiving them as their own. doing their#best to fix them and dampen the pain that’s radiating off the plucked bits. desmond’s ancestors trying to take care of him without knowing#they’re doing it….#anyway back to the body horror i think it should be fucked up and awful how they grow. they’re not growing from the outside. they’re under#his skin. they’re like. straining his skin and folded in between muscle and it is unbearable#but it’s gonna be worse when they rip out of his back. the wounds themselves will close right back up over them. isu bullshit im calling it.#but they do fully tear his skin right down his back and burst out covered in his blood. just soaked in it.#and it’s so painful that desmond can’t move for ages just trying to handle it#(he’s not the only one who’s gone through this of course. it’s every assassin who’s ever had the right genetic makeup for eagle vision.#this is the other thing they get. they grow wings. altaïr and ezio both had it happen to them as well.#their assassin uniforms are actually modified to fit the wings. altaïr’s from day 1 has an option to hide his wings or get them out so he#can use them in his work. ezio’s doesn’t when he’s wearing his dad’s. obviously. but his later outfits do.)#….i guess it can also be cute as well as horrifying. lets desmond’s team preen him well to keep him from stress preening. rebecca keeps#poking at the wings and shaun says something about monkeys picking bugs off of each other and lucy runs her fingers through them the best of#all four of them like she’s got a talent for taking care of a half-bird guy#(thinks about sleep-safe feeling desmond telling lucy he wishes she had wings so he could return the favor. thinks about lucy caught between#remembering the horror of desmond growing them *and* how happy he looks when she touches him *and* how she’s leading them into betrayal#and thinking she could never deserve this calm she’s giving desmond. and the trust she’s winning for doing it just makes her stomach turn.#she’s doing exactly what she’s supposed to. and it hurts.#i should have an ac tag
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The People VS Gwen Stacy au where Miguel and Jess just picked up the Vulture and left, not stopping Captain Stacy from raising the gun toward Gwen a second time and shooting her on reflex.
Gwen bleeding out on a stretcher to an ambulance, face exposed to the world as a million cameras flash.
Gwen twisted up in the agony of her father choosing to be a cop before being someone who loves her with a bullet in her liver but a hole in her heart.
Gwen Stacy's face posted all over the news before she's even on the operating table at the nearest hospital.
Gwen Stacy arrested for the murder of Peter Parker, handcuffed to the railing of her hospital bed.
Gwen Stacy arriving at the court house in a wheelchair because she is fresh out of surgery and can't walk, meeting her lawyer, Matt Murdock for the first time.
Gwen Stacy villified by J. Jonah Jameson and the police union to the point other heroes, like Daredevil, have to come out of the shadows to protect her from a public lynching.
Gwen Stacy, abandoned by everyone she should've been able to trust.
Spiderwoman alone against the court of public opinion.
#across the spiderverse au#gwen stacy#i ahve been having thoughts about the movie#i've watched the opening a hundred times and im still as insane as i was the first time#like what if her dad shot her because miguel and jess being consummate professional just bagged the anomaly and left#what if it was after he'd seen her face and thus she was forced to face the world maskless#her father appears to be a bad cop in general#conflicting orders and escalation#wouldn't his testimony conflict with any autopsy done on peter's body#matt murdock and foggy saw/heard the breaking news and broke so many traffic laws getting out to Chelsey NY to take a case probono#in light of the mobs of people outside the court house and hospital Matt convinces a judge to release Gwen on house arrest#Daredevil briefly granted custody of Spiderwoman for her own safety#gwen breaking down and crying in the bathroom of his Hell's Kitchen apartment#miguel looks in later and while he feels bad this is the canon of her world#he adds Earth-65 to patrols for other spiders while Gwen is on indisposed and if he happens to lead them well he's the boss#he visits gwen and apologizes but doesn't mention that he could've stopped it#miguel struggling to understand how gwen's father shot her after seeing her face and knowing it was his precious child behidn the mask#gwen clinging to matt murdock and miguel o'hara and the other heroes who come by and offer support and love and let her heal#INSIST that she heal under their wings#gwen's found family#idk who else i'd have in this jsut want my girl to go through it and come out stronger and more loved than anything
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waking up in the dead of night with a tavstarion pretentious deranged law student au idea forming in my mind
#lets add this to the google doc pile#my brain: no make it multiple chapters. this is a slow burn dark academia kind of fic#like OK WHAT IF#cazador was a pos lawyer who ran prestigious szarr & associates#he's got 7 interns#u see where im going w this#astarion is some L2/L3 brat#tav is some nepo baby at the university but she's like...a business major or something#lmaooo#lets make them as awful and unappealing as possible#he's working on his JD she's getting her MBA. can i make it anymore obvious#gale is like. a chemistry or Pchem masters or phd student i think#WHAT WOULD LAE'ZEL DO IN UNIVERSITY?????#idk#wyll- obviously he got in a sport scholarship plus $$ bc rich dad but he's pursuing med school i think#wyll the orthopaedic surgeon#lmao#NO LISTEN. i think wyll would do good sports med. or peds. but for this fic he's just a little M1#KARLACH is the gym rat. the fitness junkie in a leather jacket who hangs outside bars w cigars in her spare time (she's also a bouncer)#probably also like. a volleyball girl#i dont know abt shadowheart. why would she go to uni? what would Shar followers do at uni?#besides be a weird sorority
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Therapy isn't enough I need the CW to go back and re-film Season 11 to prove that Lucifer could have been saved if Michael didn't abandon him like Dean refused to abandon Sam.
#I'm old enough to know that some ideas are too cinematic and visual to be translated to fic and This Is One Of Them#Amara shows up and wants to eat Lucifer but Lucifer runs off comes back and tosses a bag of stuff for spellwork at Sam#Snaps his fingers and Devil's Dancefloor by Flogging Molly starts to play at an increasing volume#Someone comments that having a hype song is lame and Lucifer says YEAH IT'S REAL LAME ISN'T IT DEAN#Big knockdown fight between Lucifer and Amara and the spell banishes both but Lucifer manages to claw his way back#Michael!Adam clawed their way out of the cage but is living as Adam and Lucifer restores Michael's memories by giving back his blade#Michael and Lucifer working very poorly together but it reaches a head when they're trapped in a town Amara is going to literally devour#And Lucifer's like 'Oh we're both acts of God actually so one of us is going to have to destroy the other in Amara's general direction'#And Michael thinks it's a ploy and refuses and says Lucifer's so tainted he's not anything like what God made and Wow That's Mean#But Michael agrees thinking that sacrificing God's favored son will get dad to come back but Lucifer is genuinely afraid of death#Because angels don't get an afterlife so this has also been a narrative conversation about forgiveness outside of punishment and hell#But right before God does show up Michael has a hand inside Lucifer's glowing chest forcing his light in an attack beam at Amara#And Lucifer is crying screaming clawing growing weaker and Michael just stops and curls his free hand over the back of Lucifer's head#And he Regrets he realizes how long he's refused to let himself love his brother to serve his father and now it's the end#And not the end he prepared himself for but if he gets the freedom to love his brother and choose not to kill him maybe he chooses-#Ahahah Chuck's there now and 3V2 THERAPY TIME#WHO'S THAT IT'S JOHN WINCHESTER'S GHOST WITH A STEEL CHAIR#Anyway Supernatural was good when we still had narrative parallels and in every SamDean moment I am closing my eyes and seeing Them#S8 Sam during the Trials of God? Don't you mean Lucifer begging his brother to help him bear the mark before it warps him?#listen I'll shut up when someone tells me WHY DIDN'T LUCIFER GET TO GO APESHIT ABOUT DEAN DESTROYING THE MARK#LUCIFER BORE THE MARK FOR EONS SO DID CAIN THE MARK RUINED BOTH OF THEM#AND DEAN GETS TO TOSS IT AFTER A YEAR???? AND LUCIFER SAYS NOTHING??????????????????????????????#Not even a “Well now I know how Michael would have done with the mark”
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@beatingheart-bride
"Funnily enough, it never made me afraid of the water o-or whales o-or anything like that, when I first heard it," Susannah confessed with a small shrug and a smile: She could understand why it would frighten some children upon hearing it, but to her, she never questioned the inherent strangeness of the story, nor did it frighten her the way the tales of the Fae did. She just went along with its fairy tale logic, never giving it a second thought as a child.
"I just...thought it was very...well, very romantic, as a girl," she continued, her tone softening as she brushed a loose black lock of hair from her face as she recalled those childhood days of laying in a patch of sunlight in the living room, laying on her stomach as she reread the tale over and over and over again, always loving that the prince remained so true to Trembling, even when Fair tried to pass herself off as her sister. His putting the sword between them in their marriage bed, noting it would be cold come morning if she were trying to deceive him (and sure enough, it was), to say nothing of his determination in rescuing her from the whale, was so chivalrous and grand to her as a child that she always found her eyes roving over those paragraphs in particular, and those beautiful accompanying illustrations.
(Now that she thought about it, there was something strikingly similar about Philippe and the prince on the page...both in their personalities and in their angelic appearances, blond-haired noblemen who loved fiercely and loyally...)
She was quick to discard this overly-romantic notion, averting her gaze as she tucked the lock back out of her face, saying simply, "It...it was my most favorite fable growing up. Still is, I suppose. I...I enjoyed the love story then, and I...I still do now."
Even if I don't believe in love at first sight... she thought somewhat bitterly to herself.
#((my family had a cat like that! before i was born; my parents' next door neighbors had a cat they let out and he ran off))#((and as opposed to looking for him; they just went out and got another cat; so the runaway was adopted by my parents))#((he was a long-haired gray tabby they named greystoke and he ADORED my mother))#((to the point where he would get CRAZY jealous of my dad being anywhere near her!))#((he'd get between him on the sofa; on the bed; he did not trust him around mom; despite them being married!))#((he eventually chilled out but in those early days he was like 'nope! you're not getting ANYWHERE near my mama!'))#((to quote baby sinclair from 'dinosaurs': 'not the mama!'))#((and it's so sweet to see susannah really brighten when talking about something she holds near and dear to her))#((as well as for someone to actually enjoy listening to and talking to her; that's a huge deal to her!))#((she's kinda experiencing a little push and pull; she's starved for some positive human interaction))#((and even though she has her reservations; her uncertainties; her hang-ups; she's still enjoying the time she has))#((with philippe...blissfully unaware that they'll be seeing each other again much sooner than she thinks!))#((she's gonna be SHOCKED to see him outside the haberdashery come tomorrow evening!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Genderbent
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i went on a walk and came back 60% more evil
#snap chats#you know that meme of spiderman holding back the bus while a kids walking across the street thats me @ myself right now#STOPPPP STOP BEING SAD STOP THINKING OF SAD THINGS TO DRAW OUUUUUGGGH theyd be SOOOO nice tho..#NOOOOO STOPPPPP its JUST angst for Everyone involved#this is what i mean my dad a fucking LIAR he be like 'go on a walk to feel better :)' father i came back with the intent to harm#with the intent to harm all ten people invested in the arakawa family i have come to be cruel#but NO. NO i said no more. wheres that electric fly swatter i need one of those#i have CUTE and WHOLESOME things on the menu THAT is the OBJECTIVE#my mental health keeps getting worse and it shows im trying to fight it with family fun time#who tf made that graphic of the mate in charge of ghibli movies and he's depressed as all hell im tryna live like that#i might be dying inside but let me make something pretty at LEAST#okokok let me actually start drawin onea them sweet things. the urge to lie down all day is strong but i shant i must be stronger#also dont walk outside it hot as hell out. im built like a lizard though thats perfect for me#but tryna sit in a cold place afterwards No Thanks.#ok my head hurts bye lets see if i come back with anything or the apathy wins
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Doin bad again folx
#might delete later I’m just wide awake and miserable#summer bill came out today and it’s $7100 not including housing which will be $2400#literally dunno how im gonna pay for that and my dad is. adding to the emotional turmoil of it all#not able to get a loan at least not before the bill is due#able to get aid luckily but again who knows when or how much#my bday is tomorrow and for months I’ve been like please just let my bday be a good day i need one#i need some hope. not that I haven’t had good experiences lately bc I have. but nothing that lasts#nothing i get to feel good about for more than a day before a new problem drops#I need to enjoy my birthday without feeling this deep dark dread and fear and fucking guilt and hopelessness#I have fun plans for today And tomorrow and I’m grateful but honestly stressed about that too#bc it’s gonna be a lot + bc of all I need to do outside of that#+ I don’t get to spend my bday w friends the way I want like I have one friend Maybe coming w me#my bday is supposed to feel celebratory and instead it feels like absolutely forcing some illusion of choice or joy in my life#on top of it all. the most peaceful I usually ever feel is in bed w my partner and now my body won’t even let me hold or be held by them#currently laying next to them not touching them so I at least don’t keep them up w how physically miserable I am rn#I’m literally always physically miserable at this point and it feels like spring is never gonna come and provide any relief#but it’s like can I at least be cozy w them. nope instead I’m wide awake facing various horrors#despite being permanently exhausted and falling asleep in class after 40 ounces of coffee#Im just. so fucking unhappy in life rn dude I don’t want life to be like this forever with the constant threat of it getting much worse#fucking shred of joy in this godforsaken world: the sleep noises they r making rn#mine#txt#vent post#suicidal ideation tw#<- cry for help
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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service
(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?
#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect#based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop#saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which#is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because#you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy#i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane#and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a#knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one#when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid#so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from#nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and#beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees#to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and#nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the#gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes#other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to#walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and#eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when#he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a#girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever#kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to#find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus#like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy#when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate#ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition#because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would#give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a#shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...
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