#dad is back but the first thing on his mind is sam and mary not he

[prettypinkporkchop]

hello

can you write paul x reader

reader is bella older sister

and she is the opposite of bella like she is extroverted and loves fashion and short skirts yk like this vibe (i imagine her like megan fox in jennifer's body) , paul imprinted on her so bad but in the first she wasn't interested in him but than she slowly likes him cuz he always try his best to get her

Heart shaped locket

You stare at Bella as if she is CRAZY! "Shopping? You?" Your eyebrow is raised to the heavens.

Yes, you've already graduated, and you're older than Bella. But let's be real, in this economy, you're staying with your dad, Charlie. Just until you can get on your feet.

Bella laughs and stares off through the kitchen. "Yeah.. yeah I just really have to.. get my mind off of Edward." She sighs.

You roll your eyes. "Bella, how many times do I have to repeat myself? He's ugly. He's weird. And you're still in high school! Let's turn the page, babe." You put a hand on your hip.

She shifts her feet before looking at you sternly. "You've never experienced love."

-----

"Child, can you take this to Billy's? Jake's got mono." You turn from the sink and see your dad on the table, getting ready to leave for work. He's holding a case of beer. "Don't get too close. Me and the man can't hang out until Jake is better." He scratches his beard.

"Okay, dad." You pat his shoulder and grab the case from his hands.

You get in your car and then drive to Billy's house. Gosh, you remember Jake and Bella playing around the mud and pissing you off.

You make it there and knock on the door. You take your top and cover your nose and mouth and then back up a bit.

The door opens, and there stands a smiling Billy. "Kid, you're fine. Uncover your mouth, I'm not sick." He laughs.

You laugh and drop your shirt back on your chest. "If you can't go to the store, then obviously it's serious enough for me to-"

Bella's truck speeds in, parking next to your car. She walks up to you guys. "Where's Jake?" She asks.

Billy looks at you and then her. "He's sick." He says.

Bella pushes past him. "Sorry."

Billy turns, calling her name. You grab the end of your hair and awkwardly play with it. Billy sighs and turns back to face you. Then, you hear whistling. You look over and see the Uley gang.

Next thing, Bella is walking over there.

Oh shit.

"BELLA MARIE!" You call out. You step on the wet grass, following her. Your headband starts falling off, and you stop to adjust it. "Damn it." You hiss.

You hear something from the guys, and you look up. Paul is fuming. You are in fear of Bellas safety so you just drop your headband and run over there.

"Y/n! Bella!" Sam says. "Get back." He warns.

You get next to Bella and grab her arm. But, Paul changes into a wolf. He stomps his feet and roars.

You fall back on the ground with Bella. You look at her. "Really?! Why are you always in shit?!"

Jacob runs out and turns as well. The two wolves fight into the woods. You sigh and stand up, adjusting your skirt and shirt.

"Take them to Emily's." Sam says.

"The wolf's out of the bag." Embry says.

----

"Oh, Emily!" You hug her as you and the three others walk inside the house.

She hugs you back, smiling. "Goodness, y/n. You're adorable as always." She giggles.

"Yeah, well, not feeling it. I just saw dudes shift into wolves, so that was interesting." You reply.

Bella walks in.

"Who's this?" Emily asks.

"Bella, my sister." You roll your eyes.

"Oh, you're the vampire girl." She says.

Vampires?!

"Damn, am I in a movie or something?" You groan and sit at the table where Embry and Jared sit.

The guys and Bella start talking, and you sit and listen. It all makes sense. Geez.

Jacob and Paul come inside, and Jacob tells Bella to go outside with him. Paul sits down, apologizes to Bella, and then eats a muffin.

You look over the guy, observing him. He doesn't see you.

"Does it hurt when you shift?" You ask.

He looks up at you and then stops moving. The muffin he grabbed in his hands fell and crumble on the table. You awkwardly stare back. Embry and Jared start laughing.

Sam walks in, snapping Paul out of it. He looks down at the table and then smiles. "Not too bad." He finally responds.

"It sounds like it hurts."

Sam looks over at Paul and then you.

"Yup, poor guy. He's now locked down." Jared says.

"Huh?" You ask.

"Ignore the boys." Emily says in your ear.

---- (The cullens come back - Eclipse)

You wake up, get dressed, and do your makeup. You're sitting in front of your vanity doing your hair when Bella barges in. You turn to the door and look at her. "What?" You ask.

"Paul wants to see you." She says.

"Uh huh." You reply, turning back to your mirror and doing your hair.

"Jacob says he imprinted on you." She continues.

"Really." You don't care.

"Just talk to the guy." Bella says.

"I don't take orders from girls who wear a flannel every day." You eye her outfit from your mirror.

"Y/n, really. The guy's gonna go insane."

"Fine." You sigh. "I'll text Emily and get his number."

And that, you did. You got his number. You messaged him, "y/n." That was it. But he texted back. You haven't read it yet. You're too busy with your friend, Sandra, shopping.

She holds up a pair of shoes. You think for a minute. "You had to think too long. It's a no." She sets them back down.

Your phone in your purse starts buzzing. You frantically get it and see that it's Paul. "Hang on, love." You tell your friend. You answer it. "Hey."

"Hey, y/n! Are you busy?" He asks.

"Yup! Shopping!"

"Oh, okay! I'll catch you another time." He says.

"No, give me the tea. You've got me all curious." You say.

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me today?" He sounds shy.

Which is odd, considering you grew up around them because of your dad being friends with Billy and Harry. Fun fact! You used to help change Seth's diapers.

"Uh.." You look over at Sandra, who's smirking.

"Yes. I can. Where?" You ask.

"A date?" He asks.

"No! No date." You giggle.

"Oh uh.." He sounds awkward.

"We'll just hang out at the beach later." You say.

-----

Paul walks closer to you on the sand. "Hey, beautiful." He smiles.

"Hey." You smile back.

As he gets closer, you feel the warmth. Wolf shit. He opens his arms and wraps you up in a hug. You gently put your hands on his waist and softly pat.

"Alright." You pull away and look at him. "I know you imprinted on me, don't worry, I'm keeping my mouth shut like Bella. But just letting you know, I'm not interested. But I'm we can be friends!" You sit on the sand, crossing your legs.

He sits next to you and looks over your face. "Hmm, is there any way I can change your mind?" He touches your cheek. He moves his face close to yours.

You back away and giggle. "No, sir."

He bites his lip and looks out at the water. "You do realize how an imprint bond works, right?"

"Yup. Sam and Jacob have told all of it. So, I'm willing to be around you any time you need." You pat his bare back. The heat shocks your hand as it was just in the cool air.

You guys sit on the sand and talk about life. He's a very good guy! He's been misunderstood as a person by everyone. Deep down, his heart is big. You've told him about your life, and you two seem to favor each other. But a relationship is not where your head is right now.

----

You stumble on the sidewalk of the city, nearly falling because your heel got stuck on a rock. Paul is quick to grab your waist and hold you up. You look up at him, and his eyes look into yours with adoration.

"Thanks." You smile and hold onto his arm to keep yourself from falling.

"You're welcome, beautiful." He replies.

"Get a room." Jared groans.

Kim, who's on the other side of you, elbows him. You've gotten to know Kim, and she's pretty awesome! You both like the same stuff and hang out a bunch! She invited you to this date but told you Paul begged her to ask you to go.

"It's a nice night. Look at the moon!" Kim gasps.

You look up and see it's full and glowing. "Ooh! Perfect time to take selfies." You turn to her.

She smiles and grabs your arm. You two turn around, and she holds up her phone. You two pose in front of the moon and take pictures as it shines beautifully behind you guys.

Paul watches with his arms crossed. He's so mesmerized. You feel his eyes on you, but you're not paying it any attention. Jared touches his shoulder. Paul snaps out of it and looks at him.

----

You are listening to music and applying your face mask when your door opens. You jump up and look to see your dad.

"Oh, hey, dad." You say.

"Hey, child." He walks in the room and stands next to your vanity where you're sitting. He sets something down on the desk.

You look down and see a rose and a jewelery box. You look up at him, and he crosses his arms.

"Paul Lahote sent these." Charlie says.

You don't respond and look back down at the rose and box.

"I remember being in my twenties and being in love. I had that guy energy." He flexes his arm.

You start laughing and look back in the mirror. "Yeah, well, I'm not into him." You reply.

"Still focused on getting into that school?" He asks.

"Yup! Just one more week and I'll get my letter." You smile up at him.

"Well, if I know anything, you're smart and very driven. I'm always proud of you." He taps your vanity desk before walking out of your room.

You sigh and then wipe off your hands. You reach over to the box and open it up. You gasp at the ring and blink your eyes a few times. Your heart flutters at the fact that Paul knew what to pick for you. It's a touch of him and you. You put the ring on your middle finger.

-----

You sit at the restaurant with your group of girls. There's Chapen, who is a skater type girl, Lilly, she's a nerd, Sandra, she's the diva. She was a bitch cheerleader but kept her cool with you and Lilly. Plus, you were well liked in school. Everyone wanted to be like you. Every guy wanted you. You're used to that but never give in to them. All you want is to go to school, get your job, and then move out of your dad's.

"Please, he's so fine." Sandra looks back at the waiter.

Lilly groans and leans her head back. "Sandra, stop."

"No, you want to know fine? Embry Call." Chapen bites her burger and wiggles her eyebrows.

"Mid." You reply.

"Oh, but you've got Lahote pining for you." Sandra bumps her shoulder into yours.

"Y/n! Really?" Lilly sits up with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, that's true." You shrug it off.

"God, he's so hot!" Lilly giggles.

----

You walk into Emily's house with Bella. Harry Clearwater just passed and shits going down with a redhead who wants to eat up your sister.

You notice Seth and Leah have shifted too. They both look good! Seth smiles when he sees you and hugs you.

Leah looks pissed off , and you don't blame her. The whole Sam shit plus losing her dad? Damn.

You walk to the dining table and sit down next to Quil, who you've never even met before!

"So, Quilister." You joke.

"I kind of fuck with that nickname." He nods.

Paul comes up behind you and grabs your shoulders. His hands slide down your arms. One hand stops at your elbow, and the other one moves to your hand with the ring he gave you. He touches your fingers. You instantly get goose bumps, and your face heats up.

He notices and leans down to your ear. "You're beautiful."

You gulp.

The rest of the night was fire! You ended up getting shit faced. You, Kim, Emily, and Billy got drunk drunk. Bella and Jacob left after the fire and you don't really care where they went lol.

You slump back on the couch and close your eyes, spinning.

"Y/n, you can stay here tonight if you want." Emily offers.

"No, I'm gonna go to my bed." You smile and then stand up. You're all wobbling.

Paul grabs your waist to help you steady. "I'll drive you." He says.

You press your back into him and look up at his face. "Ya know, I'd let you-", his hand goes over your mouth.

"Alright." He laughs awkwardly and walks you outside.

You sit in your seat and just stare up out of the window. Paul pulls into your house. Your dad is gone at work, and Bella's truck isn't there.

"Is your room upstairs?" Paul asks.

"Yeah, she sure is." You wink at him.

He gets out and pulls you out of your car. You steady yourself and then bend down to take off your shoes.

"They're hurting me." You say.

Paul moves your hands and bends down. "Put your hands on my shoulders." He says.

You do as told, and he takes off your shoes. Then, he lifts you bridal style and goes into the house. He walks you up into your room and gently places you on the bed.

"Paul, don't go." You give him puppy eyes.

"Baby, I have to. I need to protect you. I always will." He touches your cheek.

You rest your face in his hand and then nod your head.

-----

You sit in the bathtub and think about how good Paul was to you last night. You embarrassed yourself, but he was so kind and gentle. You catch yourself looking at the ring on your finger.

Three knocks on the door make you jump. "Yeah?" You call out.

"Hurry up. I have to pack shit to go stay with Alice." You hear Bella call out.

But you know the plan. Her and Edward are staying at the house while everyone else does some shit. Paul has asked you to stay on his land at his house, but you refused.

"Alright, sister. Just a second!" You hurry and finish yourself up and step out. You have a towel wrapped around you and you open the door.

She jumps back and looks at you. "Sorry for interrupting. Are you going to the reservation?" She walks in and grabs her toothbrush and shit.

"Nah." You reply.

"You have to. You're in danger." Bella looks at you.

"Pookie, I stay out of shit unlike you. She wants you, not me." You scoff.

"Well, it'll make me and Paul feel better." She says.

"Fine. I'll go."

----

Paul opens his front door and guides you inside. It's so manly in here. It's clean but like.. manly. It smells like Paul. It's dark with a single lamp on.

"Where do you want your bags?" He asks, holding them up.

"Uhm, the couch." You smile.

He nods his head and gently sets them down on the cushions. "You know you're sleeping in my bed tonight. I'll be out all night. This couch isn't comfortable. I won't let you sleep here." He raises an eyebrow at you.

"Nahhhh, I'm good. I brought my pillow and blanket. I'll make due." You smile.

"Whatever you say, princess." He looks at the kitchen and then smiles. "I got your favorite snacks in there and your favorite drinks. Just make yourself at home." He steps closer to you. "And if you need anything, say my name." He says softly.

You nod your head and blush again. Noooo, why does he keep doing this?!

That night on the couch, you were tossing and turning. You couldn't get comfortable and just kept going back on your phone to watch makeup tutorials. But now you're just too tired. You give up and go into Paul's room.

You lay down on his bed and are so shocked at how comfortable and cloudy it is! You lay your head down on a pillow. Oh gosh, it smells like him. But you feel something underneath you. You pull it out and look. It's a silver necklace with a heart locket. You open the locket, and it has your first initial and a 'P'. You turn on your back and clutch it in your hand.

You jump up from a nightmare of being bitten by Miss Redhead. You're breathing hard and then get out of bed. You go into the living room and see a peaceful sleeping Paul. You gently touch his shoulder. "Paul?"

He groans and opens his eyes before sitting up. "Hey, beautiful. You okay?" He looks over you. His eyes stop at your check and you look down. The necklace.

"Yeah, just surprised you're home. I had a nightmare." You sigh.

He smiles and then pulls you on him. He holds you tightly, and it takes you back for a minute. You end up settling on his chest and feel his body on yours. You feel in the moment and close your eyes in feeling of peace and safety.

"I won't be here long. We have to go to battle." He rubs your back.

You look up at his face. "Will you be okay?"

He smiles and nods his head. "I always am. I'm Paul Lahote." He laughs.

Your eyes move from his and to his lips. He notices and starts to lean in. You back away and then stand up. "Sorry, uh." You chuckle.

"Hey, it's okay." His eyes scan you.

----

You sit on his bed, painting your nails, waiting for him to come back. Bella doesn't have her phone, but you know she's in the snow with Edward.

You're nervous as shit! You're starting to realize the more you hang out with Paul and see how sweet he is, you're falling.

You know if he's alive, he promised to be home yesterday or tonight. He didn't come yesterday. You're freaking out. You've been texting and calling Kim and Emily.

You sit back and let your nails dry. You turn on a murder mystery video on his TV. Finally, your phone rings, and you jump up, knocking your nail polish all over the bed. "Fuck!" You answer your phone. "Emily?"

"Everyone is at Billy's. Everyone is safe. Jake got hurt, but stay there, Paul will be there shortly." She says all bubbly.

Your heart skips, and you want to scream of happiness! Paul is okay and coming back. Oh yay, Bella is, too... and Edward.

You clean up all of your nail polish and wipe it down with your nail polish remover. You run to his washer and throw it in there, replacing his blanket with yours. Yeah, it's girly, but it's okay!

The door opens, and you quickly go in there. Paul.

You watch as he smiles at the ground, breathing. "It smells like you and rubbing alcohol." He finally looks up and laughs.

You squeal and jump on him. He holds onto you, chuckling and burying his face in your shoulder. You run your hands through his hair, softly gripping onto it.

"Miss me?" He asks.

"Yes." You breathe out. "Thank you for coming back." You catch yourself saying that, and you blush. He sets you down and looks at you, grabbing your face. "I spilled nail polish on your blanket. It got it off but it's in the washin-"

Paul's lips press on yours, shutting you up. You crumble in his touch and give in, kissing back. One hand grabs your waist, and the other touches the necklace he left for you. His fingers slightly graze on your collarbone. He pulls back, and you don't want him to stop. You grab his neck, pulling him down for more. He grabs your bottom to lift you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and he carries you into his bedroom.

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

yessss yess the real question would be who starts yelling first. my bets are on dean. i need 12.14 type anger but worse

I’m pretty sure @finalgirlsamwinchester said this first but supernatural episode 14.13 “lebanon” except it’s succession austerlitz family therapy

[transchesters]

the first time sam wears a dress.

dean had been a boy from the moment he was placed into his mother’s arms as a baby, even though the doctors proclaimed otherwise. even mary knew, when she looked into her child’s eyes, that he was a boy.

and as he grew, mary was proved right. dean threw aside anything with bows or skirts, but his eyes, still filled with wonder at the time, would light up at the blue t-shirts with dinosaur print and the torn up jeans. so deanna turned to dean, and john accepted it as it was. he knew his wife, knew she wasn’t delusional. and when mary got pregnant again, the thought of another boy running around the house with little dean as an older brother filled their hearts with warmth.

maybe sam was too young for mary to know any better, to know that her second son was actually her only daughter. maybe if she had lived past sam’s six-month birthday, she would have dressed her in the little dresses dean had detested.

but mary was dead, and john didn’t care what the hell his boys’ thought. what mattered was raising two hunters, trained to take down the things that ruined their lives. and sam picked up on that at a young age, and kept the deepest parts of herself, *to* herself. all she knew was her older brother and her father; she never got a chance to see any femininity in her life. her life, which for as long as she remembered, was guns and training and learning all the lore.

now, sam is fourteen. now, she is curious about the girls she meets at one school or the other, all with long hair and pretty skirts and colored eyelids. now, sam doesn’t know what’s wrong with her and why she longs for those things.

dean had been out on a supply run with their father, leaving sam to study or do whatever reclusive nerds do in their free time. sam was told to stay home by both dean and john, and they expected her to do exactly that considering most of the time, she was a perfect, obedient son. but could you blame her for wanting a bit more? to want to explore her curiosities and find out what they mean?

so she went to the local thrift shop in their current, rundown town. just to look, that’s all! that’s at least what she told herself as she walked inside and made a beeline for the women’s section.

sam felt close to panicking as she yanks a pale green dress from the racks and rushes over to the cashier. she offers some vague comment that it’s *”for my sister,”* and quickly paid and rushed back to the motel.

it’s late when dean and john return. john retires to his own room immediately, grabbing a beer and bottle of whiskey on the way. he leaves dean to unload supplies and tuck them away wherever they belong in the impala, before he’s shambling into his shared room with sam.

sam, who is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing intently at herself, turning this way and that to watch the flowy dress twirl around her. she’s so lost in her mind that she doesn’t look up until dean slams the door shut, staring at her with wide eyes.

“dean! i-i, uh, i was just-” sam rambles, stumbling over her words as she quickly yanks the dress over her head, balling it up and holding it behind her as if dean will forget she was ever wearing it. “i just thought it was cool, it’s nothing, i swear! please— please don’t tell dad.”

dean feels stupid very suddenly. has he been ignoring obvious signs, similar to ones he showed when he was yonguer? a well of grief opens up within him, one he has worked very hard on squashing into a tiny ball and shoving it in the back of his mind. he misses his mother, and wishes desperately that she were here to help him say the right things.

the look on dean’s face is unreadable as all of this passes through his mind, at least until he remembers to soften it. until he offers sammy a smile. “it’s cool. i get it.”

the words do nothing to quell sam's panic. she shuffles out of the bathroom, keeping the dress clutched tightly behind her as if revealing it to dean would incite some unknowable rage. she is already the freak of the family, the one who wants nothing to do with the guns and the hunting and the moving town to town. and now, she’s a boy who wears dresses. she doesn’s even have the vocabulary to express the fact that she doesn’t feel like a boy at all!

“i'll get rid of it,” she mutters, shoving it under her bed, scrambling to grab one of dean's hand-me-down shirts and pulling it on.

“sammy. it's okay.” dean steps foward as his words still seem to do nothing. he grabs sam's shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “stay,” he states, before he takes a step back and begins to pull off his shirt. sam's face is screwed up, a mixture of confusion and distress, but watches nonetheless as dean drops his shirt to the side, revealing his chest, wrapped in the bandages from their first aid kits as usual.

“i guess i never really explained this to you,” dean mumbles under his breath, scratching at the bandages which make his whole upper body ache, but make his skin crawl when they aren't there. sam fidgets uncomfortably as she stands before her brother, shifting from foot to foot. she doesn't understand what he means, and he *hates* not understanding.

“can we just drop it, please?” she whines, averting her eyes as suddenly, dean begins tugging the bandages from his chest.

“look at me, dumbass,” dean grits out, because he doesn't have the words to explain this any better than just showing sammy.

maybe if things were different. maybe if mary was still here, they would have learned about this together. and when sam finally felt like sharing how she felt, they would be able to explain it to her together.

but mary is dead, and dean doesn't know what he is or what sam is other than winchesters'.

sam lifts her eyes finally when dean tells her to, and it's like she's seeing his brother for the first time. sure, she has seen dean naked before. they've shared a room forever, lived in impossibly small quarters, sometimes just the impala's backseat when john was too tired or drunk to find them a place. dean’s chest was different than his own, but he had never really thought about it. dean was a boy, and sam was a boy, and he never knew anything other than that.

until now.

sam’s eyes well up with tears as she finally understands. she and her brother are the same, yet different. she understands, and she feels understood, and it's so entirely overwhelming that she can't help but sniffle and wipe at her wet eyes.

dean rolls his eyes, his cheeks heating up as he yanks his shirt back on. “knock it off, sammy,” he grumbles, but there is a note of fondness in his voice he can't help. “it's fine. we'll deal with it.”

they both know it's going to suck. dean was lucky to look boyish enough that he passed pretty well. under his dad's big jacket and his oversized, thrifted clothes, no one questioned him. but sam thinks it won't be quite the same for her. and what is she supposed to tell her dad?!

perhaps those are questions for another time.

when sam pulls the dress back on under her big shirt and crawls into bed that way, dean doesn't say anything. when dean wraps his chest again, sam looks away. she wonders if the bruises lining his sides hurt. she wonders why their bodies are the way they are, both itching for the other's skin. why must sam’s chest concave when dean wants nothing but a falt chest? why must dean hide curved hips under baggy jeans when sam wishes she had anything besides her stick-like figure?

the sibilings go to sleep, a little more in tune with the other, and a little bit sadder for the other.

[holylulusworld]

Designed by pain (13)

Summary: Broken hearts are hard to put back together. 8 years ago, Dean lost something he didn’t even know he had in the first place. Will he get a second chance?

Pairing: former AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, past break-up, arguments, daddy Dean, angry reader, Mary being a bitch

A/N: This was an alternative idea for the first chapter of my Bucky story: Monster-in-law masterlist. I decided to use it for a story with Dean.

Designed by pain masterlist

Designed by pain (12)

“Did you pack everything, Michael?” You lovingly run your hand over your son’s head. Moving back to the States won’t be easy. It will be a hard piece of work to leave your old life yet again.

Nothing is ever easy with Dean Winchester in your life. He’s like a tornado coming into your life to turn everything upside down.

“Can we stay with Dad and Uncle Sammy? Dean told me so much about his home and Baby! Mommy, he’s got an Impala called Baby and…” He trails off, suddenly falling silent. “Sorry, mommy. You already know that.”

“It’s alright, baby boy.” You softly kiss the top of his head. “Have a look around your room. We don’t want to miss something. We will stay for at least a week or two, okay.”

“Hmmm…okay.” He nods before running off to his room to check if he forgot something.

“Uh-do you really want to meet up with Bobby for a job?” Sam pokes his head inside the living room. “Maybe you can fix things with Ketch, or at least find a new, and better position here, the UK.”

“One could believe that you don’t want Y/N to come with us,” Dean grunts while his brother tries to make sure you’re not making a hasty decision. “She wants to meet up with Bobby. You like Bobby. He’s a good man and an even better employer. If she wants to work for him, it’s none of your business.”

“Guys, can you not fight? I had a lot to prepare before our flight. You are still butting heads like kids,” you snort when Dean gives his brother the stinky eyes. He purses his lips and wildly gestures at your tits. “Dean, my eyes a little higher.”

“I didn’t point at your boobs,” he says but glances at your cleavage. Dean hums, and subconsciously licks his lips. “Even though, they are nice to look at.”

“Dude,” Sam huffs. “Seriously?”

“What?” Dean shrugs. “It’s the truth. Now, back to packing things. Do you need more, sweetheart? I can get some boxes and pack everything up.” He grins, giving you puppy dog eyes.

Sam tries to stop his brother from saying something making you change your mind. “Dean…” He sighs. “Slow down.”

“No, Sammy. I gotta bring her away from that douche. He’s got grabby hands. I won’t let him touch her.” Dean harrumphs. He hates Arthur Ketch with passion.

“That is enough, Dean!” You grab his ear, tugging hard. Dean winces and tries to grab your wrist, but you only tug harder. “I decided to go back to the State to work for Bobby. Not yours, or anyone else’s. There’s a lot to consider and organize before I can even think of moving back to the States.”

“Can you stop fidgeting?” You watch Dean nervously shift in his seat. “Dean, the seat is more than comfortable. This is the first class.”

“How’d you pay for it?” Sam watches you get a credit card out of your purse. You smirk and toss it at him. “Is that a company card?”

“Arthur decided that he doesn’t want to let me go. He insists that I retract my two weeks’ notice. Arthur is not very mature when it comes to rejection, it seems. He told me he’ll do anything to keep me at his company.”

“So, you use the company card to pay for your flight?” Dean snickers. “I love how you think. Even better, you can be so devious.”

“I don’t think that’s legal, Y/N,” Sam, ever the lawyer throws in. “What if he takes legal action?”

“He can eat shit,” you snap at Sam. “I won’t play by his rules any longer. I’m officially on my way to discuss another deal with Bobby Singer. If I invite a few friends to join me on my flight, it’s justified.”

Dean grins proudly. He’d done the same if he was in your shoes. “No swear words in front of the kid,” he says, but chuckles. “We cannot use fecal language when Michael is around.”

You huff and lean back in your seat, closing your eyes to get some sleep. Michael is already asleep, and Sam is close to drifting off himself. Only Dean is antsy and cannot calm down. Not only because of his problem with airplanes but the fact that you are so close too.

“DADDY! We’ve missed you.” You smile when Sam’s kids run toward their father. He immediately wraps his arms around the screaming bunch to hug them. His wife, Jess, shakes your hand while you ask her if Michael can stay here for today. You don’t want to leave him in the hotel room you booked or drag him around.

Holding his kids in his arms Sam sighs. “I’ve missed you too,” he says and hugs them a little tighter. The last days made him see how lucky he truly is. He had the chance to watch his kids growing up and has the love of his life by his side.

“So, Sammy,” Dean clears his throat. “Can Michael stay here and meet his cousins? Y/N wants to talk to Bobby and mother.” He spats the last word.

Jess holds out her hand for your son. “Of course, he can stay here as long as he wants to,” she says when he takes her hand. “How about we go inside, and you can introduce yourself to your cousins, Michael?”

Sam and Jess walk inside their home with your son and their children. You watch them go with a sad expression. You and Dean could’ve had what they have. He’s a little chaotic, and sometimes a mess, but Dean has a good heart.

If only Mary didn’t manipulate your relationship back then…

“How did it go?” Dean asks when you walk out of the building of Bobby’s company. “Did you get the job? Bobby didn’t leave you hanging, right?”

“I got the job, and he will help me find a place to stay,” you tell Dean if only to stop him from asking more questions.

“I know you don’t like me much, but I can help you too. Sammy is good at house hunting, and I’m good at renovating things. You know that. We can help.”

“Dean—” sighing deeply you look at Dean. He offered to drive you around, bringing Baby on purpose. Dean wanted to bring old memories back up. “Can we just drive?”

He raises his hands in surrender and nods. “Where to now?”

“Your mother’s place,” you say, venom in your voice. If you don’t do it now, you’ll never find the courage to face the villain of your story. “I have a lot to discuss with her. And Dean…”

“Yeah?” He furrows his brows. “What can I do for you?”

“I need a ring, with a big diamond. And for you to not say a word. Leave this to me…”

Dean comes back twenty minutes later. He opens his hand to reveal the engagement ring you left behind years ago. You swallow thickly but take the ring to put it on your finger.

“What are you up to?” He asks while following you toward his mother’s house. Dean wonders if he should stop you from confronting his mother. Mary is not going to admit her mistakes or ask for forgiveness.

You smile sweetly, but there is a dangerous glimmer in your eyes. “Revenge,” you say, and grab his hand. You interlace your fingers with his and put your sweetest fake smile on.

“Knock, baby,” you coo, before Dean can chicken out. He starts to sweat but raises his fist to knock. “I will so enjoy this.”

The door opens moments later. Mary looks at her son, smiling because she believes he came back to apologize. But then, her eyes land on you. Your fingers interlaced with Dean’s.

“What are you doing here?” She spats your way. “I didn’t invite you.”

“I wanted to thank you for bringing Dean back into my life,” you let go of Dean’s hand to show off the diamond ring on your finger. “Who would’ve thought that burning the message I left to tell Dean about his unborn son would bring us back together, huh?”

You smirk, seeing the struggle on her face. “I have a grandson?” She hiccups. “No, this is impossible.”

“No,” your eyes grow cold, and you deepen your smirk. “You don’t have a grandson, and you don’t have a son any longer.” Her face falls when you step closer to look her up and down. “Pathetic. Only because your marriage was loveless you wanted to ruin what Dean and I had. What a pity we found each other again.”

“No—you won’t take him back. Not after he left you years ago.” Mary shakes her head, but you simply chuckle.

“We will rise from the ashes, stronger than before. Dean will be a good father for our son and a good husband,” you chuckle darkly. “And you can choke on the hatred and bitterness you consist of. You will never see your grandson because he doesn’t need a coldhearted bitch like you in his life.”

Mary can only watch you grab Dean’s hand to lead him back toward Baby. Your heart hammers in your chest, and you're about to cry because all the hurting hits you again. You won’t, though.

This time you walk away from Mary Winchester, your head held high…

Part 14

Tags in reblog.

[hannahwatcheshorror]

SEASON ONE RECAP

e1- Pilot- The brothers are back together because dad is missing. They hunt a Lady in White before Sam's girlfriend Jess gets the Winchester Woman Special. (🔥)

e2- Wendigo- It's Wendigo season at Blackwater Ridge (like it is every 23 years) and the boys need to Winchester Woman Special him good. (🔥)

e3- Dead in the Water- A drowned boy causes trouble for lake town by drowning off family members of the folks who killed him. Dean gets a kid sidekick and a smooch from a MILF!

e4-  Phantom Traveler- Demon on a plane! Dean faces his fear of flying so the boys can face their first demon!

e5- Bloody Mary- Bloody Mary goes after secret murderers before the boys give her a taste of her own medicine! Sam misses Jess.

e6- Skin- A Skinwalker takes on Dean's appearance when Sam goes back to visit some old college friends! Always kill your double!

e7- Hook Man- Preacher's daughter with insane Christian guilt accidently commands a hook-handed spirit to kill. The boys sort it out sorority style.

e8- Bugs- The boys are bugged by insected when some realtors build on cursed land. But they bring a family closer together!

e9- Home- Homeward bound to see their own lady on fire (mama dearest) who saves their hydes from a poltergeist! They just miss papa, John, though.

e10- Asylum- Helpful spirits in an asylum freak everyone out while trying to keep a creepy surgeon's evil spirit at bay. Ends with a call from Dad?

e11- Scarecrow- Super spooky scarecrow is a pagan God killing couples for a good harvest and the town loves it! (Wack) Sam splits off momentarily to find Dad but instead meets Meg (a demon!).

e12- Faith- Rita from Dexter and a Reaper! Oh my! A faith healer is swindled by his own wife in this one and Dean is saved in more ways than one.

e13- Route 666- The boys take care of a racist truck driving spirit in this episode! Dean hooks up with an old girlfriend he used to love.

e14- Nightmare- A telekinetic kills his abusive family then himself as Sammy's premonitions get more intense. Sam also moves something with his mind!

e15- The Benders- Humans kidnap Sam then attempt to hunt the boys for sport when this messed up family crosses paths with our boys.

e16- Shadow- Meg the demon tricks the boys into inviting their father to Daeva country. They agree they ought to split up again for safety and to find the demon that killed their mom and Jess.

e17-  Hell House- A Tibetan thought form, or Tulpa, becomes a problem for the fellas when everyone believes different things about the thing!

e18- Something Wicked- A Shtriga (child eating witch) is terrorizing the kids in a town by playing doctor and Dean goes all super brother!

e19- Provenance- Bust out your best suits, it's auction time when an expensive painting hosts the ghost of a child who keeps killing whoever owns it.

e20- Dead Man’s Blood- Vampires are real and they killed a hunter so now Papa John is back and the boys are so happy! They also get The Colt, a gun that can kill pretty much anything supernatural.

e21- Salvation- The Winchesters have a trace on the demon that killed their mom and Jess but Meg splits them up and makes John go find her while the boys save another family from flames. John is captured in our first to be continued episode!

e22- Devil’s Trap- The boys meet up with Bobby for some help and are able to exorcise Meg back to hell. They also learn how to make demon traps! They find John but he is possessed by the yellow eyed demon (the one who killed their mom and Jess) and the boys face a tough choice but ultimately let the demon go so their dad could live. Ends with a cliffhanger of the Winchesters being hit by a big truck! Dun dun dun!

[chereus]

Nothing but a thing | Dean W.

Summary; Reader is in love with the older Winchester but doesn't get the chance to tell him.

Pairings; Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Warnings; Death!! Right person wrong time, storytelling.

Cherry’s notes; Im sorry this is late, tumblr wouldn't let me post this like 2 days ago but here it is and it's mid. also sorry about that. Bucky Barnes one shot coming soon!

Aprox word count; 890

As you sit there, knife to your throat, all you could think of was that you had never gotten to tell Dean your true feelings. That you didn’t just see him as just another hunter but the only person that truly understood you.

When your dad died all those years ago John was there. You and Dean were just kids, too young to know the full extent of what's out there. John killed the nasty son of a bitch that took out your father. And then, when he realized your mother had tragically passed away in a car accident when you were just shy of a year old, he took you in.

Very quickly though you understood the dynamic between John and his kids. He resented them because they reminded him of what he lost. A wife, a home, a family, every sense of normalcy that could’ve possibly been had. But he was especially hard on his oldest, little Dean. Much to your relief you had never seen him raise his hand to his boys, but curiosity got the best of you and you couldn’t help but wonder.

As you and Dean got older and kept crossing paths you started to develop feelings that you weren't prepared for. Well as fate would have it one evening you stumbled across him after years of no contact and the fire had sparked once again. One smouldering hot sticky summer night later and it’s like you had never left.

A few months later however–Dean went to hell, a momentary pause in your spring fling that all came crashing down. Sam, the younger Winchester son had moved on with some chick and a dog last time you heard. You honestly couldn’t believe him, you would’ve never thought you’d see the day a Winchester would abandon his brother.

Bobby was your only consistent for a while, quickly becoming your ‘drink you under the table’ buddy. It wasn’t all bad though, during the time you were thought to be grieving you were actually catching tail on the bastard that took away your Dean. Turns out that Sam was the Demon child and this whole thing was Mary’s fault. She gave up her firstborn for that piece of shit John. Decades later it ends up killing almost everyone.

After months again of no leads Dean just pops up out of the blue with an angry red branding cascading across his shoulder. Said to be the mark of an angel. Who knows though, you weren’t for certain that wasn’t Lucifer's mark himself and your Dean was gone. It was said to be an Angel, but they didn’t say which one.

At first you were just happy that Dean was home but then it quickly became awkward because neither of you knew what to say. He understood that you took his death hard and you were filling in for time lost but also he had just been through possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of his life and couldn’t be committed to something that big when he still hadn’t figured out the next steps. It was unfortunate because he had loved you more than anything else in the world and could never get it out.

Dean was never the type to fight for things that he thought were above him, so when the woman of his dreams walks right back out of his life, he didn’t stop you. Didn’t even say goodbye. He thought it would be best that he didn’t kick you off your pedestal, but you didn’t even care about that you loved him through and through.

So, here you sit, with a knife to your jugular and a swallow in your throat; Dean winchester was the last and only thing running through your mind. You weren't scared to die, naturally your pissed off that it would happen this way though. The rope was starting to burn your wrists. Not that that would matter much soon.

“Any last words?” Alistair spoke. Just trying to torment you.

Your voice, already hoarse from the lack of water in days, “Fuck you, you tiny dick piece of demon shit.” was the only thing you could properly muster in your sweat filled trance. He had kept you here for days on end, nobody had come to save you. You suppose it was his way of letting you see how many people really cared. As much as you hated it, he was right.

As the knife sliced through the tendons of your neck you couldn’t help but think, ‘this is it, this is the way i go’. Kind of poetic, actually. Dean let you go right into the arms of the enemy even if he didn’t see it that way.

Blood pooled down your neck and chest as he removed the blade, leaving you for dead. Your ability to speak being completely gone as the sharp object cut completely through your vocal cords. You started to choke as blood started coming up your windpipes, as least you were gone quick, you thought. In the relative span of a couple days that he kept you here it could’ve been worse. Apparently he couldn’t take time out of his busy day to come and kill you.

“Goodnight my love, see you soon.” was the last thing you heard before taking your final breath.

[kickingitwithkirk]

Winchester’s Folly

Summary: When Dean gets into trouble John decides to hide the truth for his family

Word Count: 984

*Dark! Fic-don't continue if you are disturbed by the subject matter.

Warnings: A/B/O, dystopian au, non/con, dub/con, incest, subjugation, pandemic, mentions of nudity, physical/mental abuse, mention of collaring/leashed, sexual/slavery, rut/heat, physical altercation, death/murder conviction, show level violence, parental dominance, trafficking, branding

*Additional warnings will be added

Square filled: @spnaubingo true mates

A/N: Still working on reigning myself in, keeping each part reader-friendly length, and have no clue how many parts this will end up being.

A/N II: a few notes about designations in A/O sub-genders for this story.

Alphas-Dominant (head of the pack/family) Subordinate (obey Dominant) Breeders (rare & highly coveted by the government. Can challenge Dominant for pack/family leadership)

Omegas -Domestic (mostly wiped out by plague, few natural born left) Feral (government-supplied breeders sold commonly called O's) House O’s (3rd generation+ Feral/Dominant breed. Used as servants/sex workers) Pack (rare & highly coveted by the government)

*Divider by @firefly-graphics

*No Beta-all mistakes are mine

PART V

Dean angrily stomped down the hallway and burst into the exam room, yelling, “Do you have any idea how fucking backasswards this state is, Dad!”

John blinked in surprise. Dean rarely spoke like this towards him as a Subordinate Alpha, which meant something was very off. Sam's ignored inquiry was another red flag. “Dean, what happened?”

“Do you know what they mandate done to prove ownership of O’s?” John was about to respond when the doctor reappeared, clearly unnerved by the angry scent rolling off Dean. “I need to speak to you privately, Mr. Winchester.” John doesn’t answer them back. “Dean, you got all the paperwork squared away?”

Dean acknowledged it was complicated, shifted his focus to the doctor, staring oddly at Sam, and barked, “You’re not his type, Doc!”  John ignored Dean's outburst and ordered them to wait outside the O’s room. They walked to another exam room, shutting the door. The doctor handed him a file. “This is the reason I asked to speak privately. It concerns your sons and the O.”

John read the first page. “The O’s file is flagged in the database? It was part of a lot taken during the bust of an illegal Pack distributor, and federal law requires spaying before resale?” The doctor interrupted, “Since I just examined it, I can attest this O is still fully intact. Heaven knows how Helms got hold of it.”

Anger crossed John’s handsome features, and snarled, “That son of a bitch! Her original purchaser accused Helms of selling them misrepresented goods. No wonder that Alpha sold her so cheaply.” He flipped to the next page and continued reading.

The next thing John was aware of was that he was seated on the floor. He knew most people would find this situation impossible, but he had had too much personal experience with the unbelievable to doubt it. “Mary’s obstetrician never said anything about us having twins!”

The doctor rolled a stool over and sat down before the big Alpha. “Was her physician at a government clinic?” John affirms the question, which makes the doctor sigh. “I bet she had an amniocentesis performed.” At John's expression, they said, “Some of their OBs order testing even if the ultrasound or blood work doesn’t show anything concerning.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Money. They use it to determine the sub-gender and designation because there are those among the elite wanting specific types of newborns. And twins with designations of Pack Omega and Breeder Alpha? It would’ve created a bidding war.”

John felt his lips moving, unable to vocalize the questions spinning in his mind. He did not want to believe the information when the doctor gestured to the results in his hands.

“I’m not lying about Sam and the Omega being twins.” John shook his head. “But I saw the ultrasounds. I would have known if I had a daughter!”

“With the older equipment, they could have already loaded someone else’s tape in the machine to fool you. And were you present during delivery?” John responded negatively.

“They drugged your mate, so she won’t remember the birth to smuggle the newborns out of the hospital directly. Something must have gone wrong since they only got your daughter, but it doesn’t explain how she ended up with that illegal distributor.”

John flashes back to seeing Mary and remembers how out of it she seemed after having Sam. Later, a shorter man appeared out of nowhere when he took Dean to the nursery, holding him up to see his new brother through its large window. He doesn’t remember their conversation, but Dean’s comment about not letting the man with the spooky eyes get Sammy stuck with him.

John's voice is hoarse. “How can she be a Pack Omega? And Sam a Breeder? They don’t exist anymore!”

“We might have evolved into civilized beings but still carry our ancestors' genetic makeup.” The doctor tapped a finger against their lips, “There was a theory that the reintroduction of Wild Pack DNA could reactivate Breeder genes within certain bloodlines, which would explain why the twin turned out a Pack Omega. She is your son's true mate.”

The doctor's words, certain bloodlines-true mate, pounded like a drumbeat, repeating in his keen mind and boarding on deafening when it hit him.

All this has something to do with Mary's death too.

“As that character in Jurassic Park said, life finds a way.” The doctor looked pained. “I must report all these results to the federal authorities by law. They will request a local retainer immediately and take them into custody. But since you have a court date,” the doctor calculated by wall clock, “In roughly thirty hours. I won’t send the results until then.”

John grew suspicious. “Why delay it?”

“I may participate in this system, but I’m not heartless. I have pups myself, and I’ve just dropped a metaphorical bomb on you. If these weren’t extenuating circumstances, you’d have legal recourse against Helms.”

John nodded in acknowledgment. “Thank you. Are you obligated to tell all my pups about these findings?” The doctor replied yes but gave a pointed look, “Your party has left before I could notify them.” They paused to ponder a moment.

“Perhaps this is an unexpected blessing. The judge must accept these test results, negating your son’s conviction because now they’ve been brought together, their wolves won’t allow them to be separated easily.”

John left the office but slipped out of the clinic's rear entrance instead of returning to the exam room. He walked out of the security cameras' range and pulled out his phone, dialing a number he swore never to use again. It rang twice before answering.

“I told you to lose this number, you son of a bitch!”

“It’s about my pups.” There was silence, then, “I’m listening.” John released his held breath, “Bobby, I need your help, or I’m gonna lose them all.”

Part VI

SPN TAGS: @donnaintx @lyarr24 @flamencodiva @lassie-bird @nancymcl @spnbaby-67 @leigh70

Dean/Jensen: @thoughts-and-funnies @stoneyggirl2 @beabutterfly987 @smoothdogsgirl

Sam/Jared: @idreamofplaid

WF: @slamminmine @ladysparkles78 @deans-spinster-witch @ilovetaquitosmmmm @strawblueberrys @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

[reigningqueenofwords]

A New Pinky Promise

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Part 2 of Pinky Promise

When you announced your engagement on Christmas Eve, you couldn’t help laughing that all 4 parents reacted at the same time . Both Mary and your mother gasped “finally!”, your dad yelled “it’s about damn time!”, and John was beaming as he clapped Dean on the back saying “proud of you, son!”. Sam shook his head, chuckling. “Congrats, guys. Was wondering if this would ever happen. How long have you been seeing each other?” He asked, an amused yet curious look on his face. “Because neither of you said a thing.” He was close to both of you, and felt one of you would have mentioned it.

“Actually…” Dean laughed. “We haven’t been.” 

“I’m confused.” Your mom looked between the two of you. “What do you mean?” 

“Remember when Aunt Jody and Uncle Bobby got married? I was 10?” You asked, making her nod. “I was whining that I wouldn’t get to play with Dean all weekend.” You went on. “I asked what we would do when we were grown up and married and couldn’t play together all the time.” 

“So, I said that I just wouldn’t get married if I couldn’t play with her.” He shrugged, looking at you lovingly. 

Blushing, you continued. “Which made me suggest a pinky swear. If neither of us were married by the time we turned 25, we marry each other.” You explained easily. 

John’s eyebrows shot up at that. “You’re getting married because of a 15 year old pinky swear ?” He asked. 

“Why do you think I ‘suck’ at keeping a girlfriend?” Dean countered, making everyone look at him. 

“What?!” You blinked. “What are you talking about?” 

He rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. “It’s always been you. I just kept my fingers crossed we’d get to this point. We did.” 

Your mothers were all but melting over Dean’s confession. They were instantly talking about it between themselves, gushing over how they ‘always knew’. You tugged Dean’s arm, motioning to the kitchen, leaving Sam to chat with John and your dad. “Are you saying you always hoped that we’d get married?” You asked him once in the kitchen. 

“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged. “Been in love with you since we were 15.” He admitted before licking his lips. “Is that a bad thing?” 

Instead of answering him, you grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He froze for a moment before he started kissing you back. Your arms wrapped around his neck as one of his hands went to your lower back, the other on the back of your neck. It was your first serious kiss with him, and you felt right at home. He held you like you were the most important thing in the entire world to him. 

After a few moments, you pulled back and looked up at him. “Do you think I think it’s a bad thing?” You asked playfully, making him laugh. “I’ve been in love with you for years, too.” You moved your hand to cup his cheek. 

“Guess we should have fessed up years ago.” He sighed. “But better late than never, right?” At least now he would have you by his side for the rest of our life. “How’s about we go save Sam from our moms?” 

You grinned. “Probably a good idea.” You agreed. 

“Hey, babe.” You answered your phone as you worked on packing up another box. “I’m working on packing up the last of my things now.” 

You could hear Dean’s smile when he spoke. “Can’t wait for you to be moved in.” He had gotten the house, and your dad had already started building the treehouse in the back. “Want me to drive up and help?” 

“You don’t think me and your dad can manage?” John had offered to help and him using his truck meant you didn’t have to rent a UHaul. 

“I haven’t seen you since New Year’s and I miss you.” He half whined. 

Giggling, you shook your head. “That was two weeks ago, silly.” You reminded him. “But, if you really want to help…I won’t say no.” You caved. “Your dad is driving up tomorrow, and by tomorrow night I will officially be living with you.” 

“Can’t fucking wait!” He had been counting the days. “I was hoping I could take you on a date tomorrow night?” In his mind, he had years of dates to make up for. 

“How about tomorrow we order a pizza and relax. We can go on one the day after. I’m just going to want to lounge after moving and driving.” You suggested. “I’ll even make sure I know where my cutest little dress is to wear.” 

He groaned lightly. “You are killing me, sweetheart.” 

“So, I shouldn’t mention that I like to sleep in nothing but a baggy shirt?” You teased, enjoying this. “Or maybe a tank and some comfy underwear?”

“You are mean .” He gasped. “And here I am, sleeping all alone tonight. Now I’m gonna be thinking of that.” 

“I could mention the tattoo I have that you’ve never seen.” You cracked up when you heard him trip. “Be careful!” You warned him. 

“Can you blame me? Putting all these thoughts in my head.” He defended himself. “I miss when you just made fun of my voice cracking.” 

You bit your lip at that. “Would a picture make it all better?” You flirted. 

There was a moment of silence. “Of the tattoo? Or just you? I mean, I’d be happy with anything my hot fiance sent me.” He flirted right back. 

“Alright, give me a second…” You moved to your bedroom where your full length mirror was. You were in a shirt you’d swiped from him over Christmas and a pair of lounge shorts. “Sent.” You told him after you snapped a picture of you posing for him. 

“God damn, sweetheart.” He whistled. “Is that my AC/DC shirt?” He laughed. “I thought I left that at my parent’s house!” 

“I swiped it to sleep in.” You admitted, sitting on the end of your bed. “All my friends are telling me I need to write a book and base it on us because we’re ‘so damn cute’, and our story is ‘envy inducing’.” You giggled.

“Hey, if you want to become some famous romance author, I’m all for it. Just don’t make my character look like Fabio on the cover.” He told you. “That’s Sam.” 

Laughing, you flopped back on the bed. “Deal.” 

Wedding planning, while a bit stressful at times, was nowhere near as bad as movies made it out to be. You and Dean planned on getting married December 23rd, exactly one year from when he proposed. You’d be getting married in your parents backyard, and planned to get some pictures in the treehouse. You didn’t care that you’d have to climb up the ladder in your dress, or that it would be cold doing so. That treehouse held a lot of important memories for the two of you. 

Then, the reception would be at a local hotel. It would be your parents, Dean’s family, your Aunt Jody, your Uncle Bobby, and a few friends that you and Dean shared. Some couldn’t make it because it was so close to Christmas, and you understood. Which was why the friends that couldn’t make it would get a DVD of it. You’d hired a photographer and a videographer to make sure every memory was captured. 

You, Mary, your mother, your Aunt Jody, and a couple of your friends went dress shopping the first week in July. You hadn’t wanted the ‘princess’ type dress for yourself, if you were being honest…until two weeks before that. 

“Dean, I don’t need something big and fancy.” You assured him as the two of you worked on picking out a design for the cake. “It’s not a huge wedding, and we’re not fancy people.” 

Dean gave you a bored look. “You deserve to feel like a princess on our wedding day, because you’ll be one.” He told you, pointing once again to a fancy cake. 

You leaned over and pecked his lips. “You make me feel like a princess every day.” You smiled. “But if you feel that way, how about we compromise? You can pick the decorations, but I get to pick the cake size.” You offered, feeling that was fair. 

“Deal.” He beamed. 

“I thought you wanted something more simple?” Your mother asked as you tried on your first dress. 

You looked over your shoulder at her. “Because that’s what Dean thinks I want, too.” You smirked. “He said that I deserve to feel like a princess on our wedding day. I know him. That means he wants to see me look like one. So, I’m surprising him. I’m going to find a princess dress I like.” You told her, looking into the mirror again.

“He’s going to think you look beautiful no matter what you wear.” Mary promised you. 

“I know.” You told her. “But I’m sure I can find a princess type dress that doesn’t make me feel like I’m wearing a costume.” 

The woman helping you perked up. “I have just the dress in mind!” She beamed. “I’ll be right back!” She said before rushing off. 

“She looked very excited.” You mused. “I’m eager to see what she comes back with.” 

The dress she showed you was perfect . You’d tried it on and couldn’t help but tear up. Mary paid for it, a present from her and John. 

Every decision made, and every fee paid made everything feel so much more real. And made you that much more excited for the future. Walking into your bedroom one night, you paused and watched Dean for a moment. He was reading a book, and moving his lips as he did. The only time he did that was when he spaced out and needed to reread a paragraph. You thought it was adorable. “Hey, Dean?” You started, moving to crawl up the bed. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” He answered, looking up from his book. Seeing you moving towards him, he smirked and put down his book. “If you want what I think you want, the answer is hell yes.” 

Wiggling your eyebrows, you sat back on your feet. “We’re about to finally fulfill our pinky promise.” You said happily. 

His face lit up at that. “One week!” He got excited. 

“I propose a new pinky promise.” You said softly, reaching for his hand. 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” He was curious as he held your hand in his. 

You were nervous, but pushed on. “How about we pinky promise to have our first baby in the next couple years?” Your heart was pounding in your chest. 

His eyes sparkled as he lifted his other hand, holding out his pinky. “I pinky promise that we will have our first kid sooner rather than later.” 

Looping your pinky with his, you laughed as tugged you towards him. “When would sooner be for you?” You asked, wondering if he had a time frame. 

Dean pretended to think. “How’s about nine months from now?” 

[soft-pine]

spn20rewatch 1.22 devil's trap

okay i have to admit i'm feeling a little self-conscious about all the john analysis. cause like there is so much going on in season 1, so many things to learn, so many dynamics to unpack! but to be honest dean studies and piecing together pre-series dean and dean & john's relationship takes up so much of my headspace. but i guess if you're still hanging around here you must know that....

so let's dive in! first off, BOBBY! hello! i love his introduction here as the place dean runs to when he's out of all other options and i love that theme will carry us through so many future seasons!

given the context we gain from 7.10, there is something so layered about bobby having had to shoot his own dad, having babysat sam and dean as kids and fought with john about their treatment, and having threatened to shoot john. paired with dean aiming the colt at john at the end of the ep - but not because his dad is being too cruel but too kind.

anyway, I was really struck this go-round by how much dean is not motivated by revenge. like we saw that in the contrast in 1.21 when sam wanted to run back into the house to kill azazel even if would kill him and dean stopped him. dean later says, "if hunting this demon means getting yourself killed then I hope we never find the damn thing." in 1.22, that's repeated with added layers:

Dean: Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.

of course this all sets up sam's choice at the end of the episode - kill john and azazel together or let azazel escape.

but like... did you know... dean does everything for love?

he helps exorcise meg, he unties her and gently lays her on the floor, he tries to find out where john is, he shoots the demon attacking sam, he helps support his injured father's weight, and it's all for love.

"I swear to God, I will march into hell myself and I will slaughter each and every one of you evil sons of bitches" (oh god girl don't say that.) and it's for love

"I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up" and it was for love. (sam says "you never told me that"... hon, he doesn't tell you all that much)

"Everything stops until we get him back, you understand me? Everything." and it's for love.

it's interesting that sam (and john) is put in a scenario which puts his desire for revenge to the test against his desire for his family to be safe and it's a question.

but there's no scenario dean can be put in where it would even be a choice. even though he knows john will be pissed at him for bringing the colt and using a bullet, he just can't watch sam die. even though he knows down to his bones that john's possessed, he just can't shoot him. and it's for love!

of course this is what azazel plays on in his creepily-close (we'll see that again in 4.03) speech to dean.

You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is they don’t need you. Not like you need them. Sam – he’s clearly John’s favorite. Even when they fight, it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you.

honestly there's not much i could say about that scene that hasn't been said - and better. like i'm constantly thinking about that post that's like, they should have had dean start to get pushed up the wall to mirror mary (i've lost the link rn!!) but i mean he's already got the bloody torso...

it fits again within the pattern of dean trying to distract the villain from sam by mouthing off. "Listen, you mind just getting this over with, huh? Cause I really can’t stand the monologuing," he says as azazel fawns over sam. and it works. and he nearly kills dean.

there's something in the way dean is watching and articulating his worry about john and sam throwing their lives away for revenge and how he keeps trying to hold them back from that and yet he loves them so much he's the one who ends up almost dying. the ultimate "things [he's] willing to... kill" being himself.

i'm holding myself back from getting more into dean's anger with john until next time (2.01) but there is something so delicious to me about him both being ready to die for john and also yelling, "I don't care what Dad wants." as i've been saying, there have been cracks in the questionless loyalty all season. soon it will be irreparably damaged. but the love, oh, the love is still there.

but oh i cannot resist the little hint. dean, dying and bloody in the backseat listening to john yelling at sam that killing the demon comes first, "before everything."

oh look at those eyes....

speaking of, dean is so babygirl in this ep!

[sinner-sunflower]

SPN Sinister AU

You guys know the Sinister movies? With the entity that takes children, possesses them, and makes them kill their family?

I just got an idea for that but with the Winchesters.

It could be them settling down for a while in this house where a family was killed. It was abandoned and no one was there for miles so John thought it would be a good temp base for a few months.

They've been following a trail of a creature who is killing families and abducting a child from each family. John decides to take this hunt because he thinks it might be a demon and related to Mary's death. They've finally caught up to the killings to this no name town in the middle of bumfuck, USA. He enrols Sam and Dean to school and takes a part time job as a mechanic for the time being.

While left alone at the house, Sam finds a box of films in the attic, each with their own seemingly innocent titles.

Logically, he knows he should tell Dean or his dad about this, but next thing he knows, he's putting it in the projector and watching the first film.

It's disturbing and terrifying but he couldn't turn it off. He almost vomited twice before it finished.

He's not stupid. This has got to be related to the thing his dad is hunting. He needs to show this to Dad. He can save people with this.

.

Dean and Dad came home, the box stayed in the attic. (And he keeps watching the rest of the tapes)

Sam gets nightmares and constant night terrors. Dean is beyond worried and John has a bad feeling.

Sam gets moody. He snaps at Dad but that's normal, but then he also snaps at Dean. He says stuff to Dean like the urge to hurt the annoying squirrel in the backyard. Dean sticks to him like glue because he has a sinking feeling.

Sam won't eat, drink, sleep. He scribbles concerning signs and symbols on the walls and looks a little too long at their arsenal.

They still haven't got a clue on what this creature is but there's not doubt in their minds that it's what's messing with Sam.

It gets so bad that John decided to abandon this hunt and let someone else take care of it for the safety of his son.

They leave first thing in the morning.

Settling down on one of Rufus' many cabins across the country, Sam begins to show signs of health again.

Dean is beyond relieved and John is just tired.

One night, he's in his room, head in hands and documents all over the desk. Dean and Sam are in the living room watching a movie. He was taking a sip of his coffee when his phone rang.

Bobby.

He picks up to a frantic Bobby and the roar of an engine.

"It's Bughuul! Babylonian pagan ancient deity, like really ancient! It consumes souls of children!"

"Figured as much Bobby. Took the boys outta there as soon as I found out."

"You don't understand, John! That's the problem. You moved!"

"What?"

"The patterns! Each of the families experienced shit in the previous victims' homes but the killings only happened when they moved! I'm almost there but you didn't save them John! You moved up the timeline!"

Suddenly John felt a wave of dizziness. He looks at his coffee and finds a strange liquid in it. He shoots up, staggering out of the room to where his sons were.

He finds Dean passed out on the floor, movie still playing, but no Sam?

He falls to the ground and sees his youngest's bare feed and pajamas in front of him. Then nothing.

John wakes bound by ropes. He's laying on his back to something hard, wood?

He looks around and sees Dean in the same position, awake and freaking out.

"Dad! What the fuck is going on?!"

Now that he can see Dean fully, he knows now in what kind of position they are.

'A Hunter's funeral pyre.'

"Dad! Where's Sammy??!"

"Dean, it's the thing we were hunting. It got Sammy possessed. We need to get out of here now before he kills us."

"It got Sam?! What- before who kills us?!"

Sam then comes out pointing camera at them, Bughuul behind him looking at them menacingly.

Dean is shouting for Sam but his brother is under the creature's control. They're both flailing now and John only hopes Bobby arrives on time and finds them.

Sam puts down the camera to pour gasoline of their pyres.

"Sam! Sammy please snap out of it!"

"Shit!"

Sam lights a match.

But before he could throw it to set them aflame, Bobby arrives and hit him in the head, making him fall unconscious to the ground.

----------

Not really sure how this will end cos the movies never killed Bughuul. But this is Bobby so he might find an obscure exorcism or smth and expels the hold on Sam.

[samsxowboyhat]

Redacted Headcannons pt 2

As Gavin and FL get older, Gavin alternates his appearance to make it seem like he is aging too(he knows FL is gonna die someday he just won’t accept it)

Sam thinks about what could happen after he and Darlin left the house of Solaire

Gavin, Asher, and Guy sometimes wear croptops and paint their nails

Huxley doesn’t work out he’s just naturally buff, but he does drink protein shakes or smoothies and go on morning runs

All of the D.A.M.N. crew is used to Gavin making out with FL anytime anywhere

Darlin sometimes gets scars that they don’t even know about until Sam points out that he can smell the blood on them

Milo had a mullet but decided to cut it after he accidentally cut too much off(he wore a beanie until it grew back close enough to make it into a mullet

Darlin is academically smart, but people’s opinions about them cause them to lash out and make bad decisions

Gavin has an incubus mark on his lower abdomen

Darlin would often avoid hangouts with the wolf pack due to feeling unwanted

Cutie felt conflicted and confused when Geordi got mad at them for reading his mind, causing them to stop using their powers when Geordi left

Porter stares at Treasure when they sleep not in a creepy way but more of an admiring type of way

Milo snaps at sweetheart but always feels bad and apologizes after especially when he’s not mad at them(he can tell when he goes too far when their aura changes a different color)

Lovely and Vincent play hide and seek in the woods(it drives Vincent’s primal instincts, making it more fun)

Darlin isn’t good with kids they don’t hate them they just aren’t used to being around them(the kids in the pack think they’re cool and berates them with questions)

Freelancer always includes coworker whenever the D.A.M.N. crew hang out no matter what they’re doing

Sam gives advice that he learned growing up in the South (he often gets looked at like he’s crazy but the advice does work)

Darlin's parents were in the pack but got banished due to abuse towards Darlin, who later got adopted by Gabe and Mrs. Shaw

Guy laughs about things at the worst times, and Honey hits him to try and get him to stop even though they think it’s funny too

Baabe helps Asher dye his hair, even helping him cut it if it gets long enough

Darlin and Asher are naturally fast even without their werewolf abilities

Milo and Darlin don’t wanna get married(they don’t care about traditional marriages, but they do have promise rings)

Darlin tilts their heads, and death stares at Alexis whenever she’s around(they have thought about just punching her and dealing with the consequences later but never acted on it due to Sam and David telling them to "behave"

FL celebrates Xavier’s birthday with Huxley

Sweetheart's dad worked in the department and died on the job, sweetheart carries a picture of him in their car

Asher only eats puffy chips and refuses to eat anything else

Sweetheart has a model walk with top tier fashion taste(they hate the color orange on clothes)

Micheal once asked Angel if they could try and get back together, and David stopped him before he could even finish his sentence(Micheal fumbled HARD)

Milo’s father hates interspecies only accepting sweetheart for the sake of Milo but once got into an argument with Darlin over Sam(Marie apologized on his behalf, and Darlin and her have a good relationship)

Damien got confused when FL accidentally mentioned Caelum, and FL just told him that he was a friend of theirs and Gavin’s(Caelums their adopted son)

Darlin has a fear of abandonment they had a panic attack the first time Sam and them got into a serious argument about Darlins recklessness

[according2thelore]

Uuuuuuuuu

I've been seeing alot of omegaverse asks,

If you don't mind, what are your thoughts on Alpha!Souless Sam?

Since Souless!Sam runs purely on apathetic logic, would he feel entitled to O!Dean as per his Alpha instinct or would he simple default on logic? (Because being reliant on his Alpha instinct serves no actual purpose in irl)

(Like, if he wants some action, he could just go to the nearest bar/corner and get his fix, why does he need Dean for anyway?)

hi!!!!

i cannot even express to you how excited i am to talk about this!!!!

in general, i think while a kind of detatched logic would pervade his attitude towards dean, soulless!sam has been established to be somewhat of a hedonist.

he pays for sex, he takes advantage of it whenever and wherever he can, even if it gets in the way of a case (e.g., the fairy/ufo episode). instead of picking an innocuous convenient car, he picks a flashy new model with nice amenities. he pushes sam's body into extremes of physical fitness despite it not being strictly necessary for his lifestyle.

so i think a lot of his interactions with an omega!dean would be ruled by...well...his dick. and what he thinks he's entitled to.

honestly i can see this going a lot of ways, and will discuss all of them now, lol!

path one: dean lets sam mate him as soon as he gets back

in this path, dean probably begged sam to mate him before sam jumped into the cage, but sam said no. he knew what it would do to dean, so he refused.

but as soon as dean wakes up in that shack, and sam is rightthererightthererightthere, dean is on him and they probably go at it absolutely ferocious style in that ramshackle lean-to, and dean is dripping wet and freaking out because he absolutely thinks he's dead and this is heaven.

he begs sam to mate him, and sam thinks, all-in-all, it'll probably be convenient to be able to have more of a handle on dean, whom he knows is a bit of a wild card.

in this one (assuming we're going with mating bites can communicate some kind of emotion/sense of self), the mating bite hurts. it's fucking agony, because dean is flooding sam with so much raw hurt, relief, joy, and lovelovelove and dean is getting NOTHING back.

dean has heard all this stuff about mating bites from other omegas, and from his dad especially, who when he was drunk would describe how empty his mind feels after mary died.

and this...kind of feels like that. it's no fucking fairytale, but dean doesn't need a fairytale, he needs sam, so he can deal with the rest.

he thinks so, anyway.

because sam doesn't sleep. and dean never feels anything from their bond at all. dean thinks maybe he's suppressing parts of it due to trauma, so he's even more freaked out when sam shrugs him off like 'hell wasn't even that big of a deal...so...don't remember anything ig want to get hot dogs?'

sex with sam is...empty. sam throws him around like an alpha would and only takes him from behind in a proper mating position and leaves right after.

it's like sam is reciting textbook steps on how alphas are supposed to be, and none of it is dean's little brother.

for probably the first time in dean's whole fucking life, he refuses sex. and sam...doesn't even care. he shrugs when dean finally fights him off, and goes out to a bar.

having dean's emotions so readily available is really fucking annoying for sam, but at least he can know when dean is suspicious of him. he can approximate an appropriate response when dean is feeling sad or hurt or betrayed. it takes a lot of the guesswork out of dean's reactions to things, which is helpful.

but a cunt is a cunt, and sam can fulfill his needs elsewhere.

sam would probably find it interesting when he cheats on dean. he can feel the physiological changes that come with a mating bond shattering, and picks at the open wound of his mating bite with the cool assessment of someone pulling off dragonfly wings.

he doesn't feel the agony that comes with it, of course, just the twangs in his chest, the weird chanting in his brain that this is wrongwrongwrongnotmatenotmatenothimhimhimhim

while dean is writhing back at the motel, throwing up so hard he feels like his teeth are going to fall out, sweating through his shirts and ripping at his hair just to get this thing GONE.

he knows exactly what sam is doing. knows that the thing in his brother is snapping the tethers in his mind, can almost feel the way sam's hips are slamming into some anonymous body miles away.

(secretly, in my head, i like to think that sam actually offers dean up to some locals for a night in exchange for information because he literally owns this bitch and sam knows he's not getting dick from anywhere else. the only reason it doesn't work is because the bartender gets so furious he kicks sam out and when dean comes running out like hey man what happened, sam just shrugs and says the other guys tried to start a fight.)

path two: they were mated the whole time

in this one, dean's barely alive. whether he convinced sam to mate him in the week leading up to the cage, or they were mated as soon as dean got back from hell, they're together.

which means that when sam died at the cemetery, dean's been a shell of a person for a year. he shows up on lisa's doorstep as practically a dead man, the snapped mating bond tearing his psyche into ribbons.

when sam practically kidnaps him, dean collapses into him, completely and utterly and completely at peace for the first time in a year and change. he can't believe it. his mate--his brother--is back back back back back. it's like being let above ground after a year of being chained to a rock in a cave, and dean gulps down breaths of fresh air greedily.

something's...not right, of course. sam probably takes dean to bed that night and bites on the bond, and it doesn't feel...right. not like when sam gave it to him.

i think in this scenario, sam looks at dean a lot more like property than he would otherwise. he orders him to do things. he snaps at him quick. he doesn't like that dean doesn't do what he says.

and, unfortunately, i think this would probably translate into more violent things. dean is sam's omega. his only job is to be a hole, why doesn't he fucking get it?

i think this is how dean would primarily know something is wrong with sam. sam treats him like a fleshlight. he treats dean like every knothead from here to alaska has always treated omegas like dean.

i think sam would eventually logic his way into dean not being worth the fight. if his omega has moved on, sam should too. he starts sleeping around, and we end up in the same position we do in path one.

i also think sam's alpha instinct in this scenario would irritate him the most, because it's the deepest, and he's had it the longest. he can't feel the fury that dean being hurt would usually inspire, but he feels antsy like a bodily need isn't being met.

sam's probably also the least physically satisfied in this pathway, as the line between emotional and physical satisfaction is inextricably linked through the mating bond.

when this one breaks, it's a physiological nightmare. sam doesn't understand why he sometimes passes out in the middle of the day, why he can't force his brain to focus, why his body is stuck in a constant fight-or-flight. he feels the constant need to hover over dean, so he over-corrects by avoiding him as much as possible, leaving dean to mourn a ten-year-bond completely alone. dean is a walking corpse again, deadly and furious and devastated.

he won't let sam near him for almost a year after sam gets his soul back, and the emotion of the returned soul breaks sam in half when the broken bond registers.

so not only has sam essentially been raped by his body, his one tenuous link to sanity has been severed. stone number one is their first conversation where dean touches him, and sam completely collapses. he falls at dean's feet a cries and cries and cries.

path three: they were never mated, and they don't mate

this is probably the one with the least consequences for them both, so i personally think it's the least fun, but let's still talk about it!

they can still absolutely be having non-mated sex. if this happens, sam might try to manipulate dean into mating, just so he can have that insight into dean's emotions/reactions as i mentioned in path one.

it's a chess move, but dean probably mistakes it at first as being territorial since dean just spent a year with lisa and ben. he's probably a little flattered, until sam says something "off" about it. sam also kind of presents it like getting food from burger king instead of mcdonalds. like "we can mate tonight if you like? or we can try tomorrow if you're tired."

and sam, who at age 12 tried literally biting the hand off of an alpha that cornered dean in a gas station, would literally never ask something like this, dean is like hm....something is wrong here...

sam still absolutely sleeps around, maybe even just because dean is in the shower and sam is horny. dean can't feel it per se, but smells other omegas on him.

as the season goes on, sam gets less and less interested in dean, and barely reacts at all when dean is threatened or upset or harassed by alphas in public.

or, if their feelings are still in Repression Mode, and they are, for all intents and purposes, two regular brothers, sam still gets annoyed when dean doesn't fall over to his commands.

as you mentioned, anon, alpha instinct has no logical purpose, but hierarchy does.

he remembers that dean would obey dad's orders, and as the now reigning family alpha, expects obedience. maybe this gets violent, maybe it doesn't, but he doesn't take kindly to some omega trying to get a rise out of him.

it's never to the point where sam goes, like, alpha rage, because that's not what he's about. it's annoying that a hole thinks he knows better than sam does. but if a fight doesn't fix it (i'm talking WWE smack-down full-tilt fight) then sam shrugs it off. the hole has a nice ass. and eyes that make something in sam feel...off. like the feeling of almost sneezing but not quite being able to manage it. something should be happening, for sure, but...nothing ever does.

you probably weren't looking for a 1.7k word, multi-focal analysis of how i think their established and continuing relationship dynamics would affect them but uhhh...here we go?

thank you so much for this ask, anon!!! this was super interesting and fun to think about! <3 mwah!!!!

i hope you found it fun to read :)

-lizzy

[crocwork-clockodile]

So, it's been over a month now since I actually finished Night Watch and I did mean to write another post about my final thoughts. But in my defense, I was moving provinces and starting grad school up again. But anyway! On to a few of my thoughts:

Warning for spoilers, I suppose

Firstly, oh my gosh, it made me cry. It made me so sentimental, in the way only Pratchett seems to do to me. Probably more so, since this was my dad's first Discworld novel, and I wouldn't have read any of them if not for him. I just felt very emotional about finishing it. I mean, having read Thud! before already, I knew in my heart that Vimes would be okay. I knew he'd make it back and that Sybil would be able to safely deliver Young Sam, but that whole thing at the end, where it's looking dicey and he has to call on Dr. Lawn and then their son gets named after Sam, but maybe not even this version of Sam, it just made my heart swell. Vimes will continue to nurture and care about this child, and allow him to maintain his optimism, in the way he was kind of doing for the Young Sam that he just trained up during the Glorious Revloution!!!! Cycles!!!! My favourite literary device!!!

I kinda liked how Lord Winder died. Just literally scared to death by his own paranoia. The Assassin didn't even have to do anything but look Assassin-y.

One thing that really impressed me about Vimes, after they take down Bloody Mary, is how he thinks about everything in how a city functions. Like Vetinari, in that way. This isn't a musical, this is a real thing that's happening in a real city, but the commerce and functions of the city that aren't concerned with Ankh-Morpork politics are still trying to happen. Things don't just pause. You need to be organized and think about how these things work. I'm impressed with this mostly because I know I'm bad at planning for things like that and forgetting about necessary things until I need them and don't have them lol.

On that note, Reg Shoe. Darling, idealistic, Revolutionary Reg. He is so so earnest and I genuinely think he really wants that ideal world for everyone, but again, he is so bad at planning the mundane-but-critical background stuff. Beloved, you should be at the club.* It's kinda gratifying to learn he was always so annoyingly idealistic and community-minded. I knew he'd make it out (kinda) okay, but oof, his death (however temporary) still hurt my heart

I think that's the majority of all my thoughts for right now. Sam Vimes is still one of my greatest, dearest blorbos. I finally know why we wear lilacs on May 25th. Now I was there, and I knew them, and I can advocate for Freedom, Truth, Justice, Reasonably-Priced Love, and a Hard Boiled Egg.

GNU Terry Pratchett

[deanstudies101]

5x04, The End

Critical theory: Hope. Devotion. Inevitability.

Key quotes: Dean, “Don’t ever change.” 

Further reading: "I like past you." (@subcas) vs. "I love past you." (@bloodydeanwinchester)

"Don't ever change." (@castielbabey)

Discussion: 

[When Dean is telling Sam they’re better off apart. Those are John’s words right out of his mouth.] 

Love future Cas. Don’t think it’s real. [Agree.] But we see a new version of him, an extreme version of him. It gives him depth. He may not be far down that axis, now or ever, but that axis exists. Zach definitely had a hand in crafting that, but there has to be some truth in that. How much Zach had a hand in it we’re not sure, but it certainly seems to play into Dean’s fears. That Cas exists to be wrong to Cas. This was a concoction to make Dean say yes, with some truth. Overall, this feels like it’s not completely real, but not completely fake. 

2014 Dean should’ve used 2009 Dean as a human shield is the leading thought. 

Saw the decision Dean makes coming from quite early on, because of course this would make Dean realise he needs to be close to Sam. [And you’ve been saying this for a while actually! Why would they send Sam off, unsupervised?] Bobby’s still would’ve been the best solution. It’s sad, because Dean felt so relieved to be apart from Sam, away from the reminder of (in his eyes) his failure. And now he feels like he has to be a babysitter forever, or the world will literally end. He can’t share this with anyone. He never asks for help, and the only person who even remotely understands is Bobby. It’s sad for him.

[Admittedly this episode is a slight spanner in the works for the “Cas is a homosexual” theory.] However, if this was crafted by Zach, it kinda makes sense actually… If it’s crafted for Dean to hate it… well… 

[I “like” past you.] That’s not an i. [What is it?] It’s an o. [It is an o.] [[They were silent for a long moment here. There were hands over mouths.]] That’s a really weird thing to say in this situation. [I’m gonna say, this is not the last time one of them said they love the other one and it gets cut/edited. The first. But not the last.] 

Jared's acting is jarring. Can’t tell if it’s a choice or bad acting. A lot of actors put their entire pussy into their ‘possessed’ version. Mary’s dad ate. Still think about that one. Probably helps that Azazel had a very distinctive character at that point, and Lucifer doesn’t yet. However… you’re being possessed by Lucifer. It should've been bigger. Lilith gives instant chills. Whatever actress, you instantly knew it was Lilith. Lucifer being the hallucinations is creepy. Lucifer possessing one of the brothers should've been a bigger performance, more impactful, more iconic. 

[Strangely, I don’t mind this performance? I think he did okay. I think it works. Like, in this moment, Lucifer has won. He just killed Dean. And then 2009 Dean shows up. So what? Like he says, killing 2009 Dean would be redundant. He doesn’t need to do any posturing. He doesn’t need to gloat. He just… won. This subtle, subdued version just works for me.]

Lucifer’s whole thing is convincing people. Subtle and seductive. But he should’ve been more charismatic. [But again, why? He doesn’t need to talk Dean into anything. He knows that whatever Dean does, Lucifer still wins. He won!] It would’ve been more fun to see a more charismatic possessed Sam. [I agree. But I do think it works here.] 

Feel bad for Sam. Sam feels like he’s been abandoned by Dean, and he’s very nervous, asking to be taken back. It’s “please let me come home, please don’t leave me.” It’s the flipside of “poor Dean having to babysit his brother”, but of course you feel bad for Sam. He’s always wanted to go off and be normal, and he just can’t. They are trapped in the narrative. 

Cas waiting there is really endearing. He doesn’t have anything else to do. We like him. [And I’m gonna say it. He’s autistic.] He didn’t want to be late. He had something to do in a few hours so he was kinda just waiting for it. Couldn’t do anything else. 

The way Cas looked at him at the end. He looks smitten. 

[I'll end with some words you may be familiar with already, in light of Dean's "Don't ever change."] [spoilers for 15x18]

Cas, "You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean."

[ananke-xiii]

Missing Mothers and Missed Opportunities

Or: There can be three, four fathers in this show but there can only be one mother (and she doesn’t even want to be there, lol)!

One way that I like to see the first episodes of s13 is focusing on missed opportunities. Sam’s mind is in the past, he is very much ruminating about his missed opportunity with his mother while Dean’s mind is in the future as he is trying to deal with the fact that Cas is dead (although, to be honest, I think Cas’s death is a catalyst for Dean's much deeper issues related to his identity. As I’ve already said, in s12 Dean was in the process of understanding who he was regardless of his relationships and while he had some sort of reconciliation with Mary, he didn’t have any with Cas).

It’s no wonder, then, that Sam thinks that Cas and Mary might still be alive while Dean doesn’t. In Supernatural the past can come back and if it’s come back once why can’t it come back again? Past is hope. The future, however, is always “doom and gloom” in this series, it’s apocalypses, it’s “it ends bad, it ends bloody”, it is, in other words, super pessimistic. And “The Future” is impersonated in Jack and in the visions of the future he transmitted to Castiel which Dean blames for his death.

Sam is smart but it doesn’t take a genius to understand that if Jack has opened the rift once he might be able to open it again. Therefore, Sam sees in Jack an opportunity: if Jack can control and manage his powers he might open the rift again and Sam could get his mother back. What’s more, he also starts to see (what he thinks he’s) himself in Jack.

Dean: I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad. Sam: I didn’t. Dean: What? Sam: I didn’t ‘end bad’. When I was the freak, when I was drinking demon blood. Dean: Come on man, that’s totally different. Sam: Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t! You saved me! So help me save him! Dean: You deserved to be saved, he doesn’t! Sam: Yes he does, Dean, of course he does!

The “What?” shows how the two are talking about completely different things. Maybe it was the word “freak” that triggered Sam, however I tend to agree with Dean here: Sam and Jack are not “totally different” but they are different. What I disagree with is when Dean says that Jack doesn’t deserve to be saved (Dean, Dean, Dean… you, just like everybody else, don’t need to “de-serve” anything. I swear to God the day we realize what the words we use actually mean maybe the world will really start changing). Because the thing is that Jack doesn’t need to be saved. He’s not a human who drank demon blood for what he thought was “the greater good” but turned out to be the beginning of his end. He was not part of a gigantic, messy, blatant scam involving Heaven and Hell. Jack’s partially the result of both Lucifer’s delusions of grandeur regarding Creation and Kelly’s conservative and dreamy desire to have a baby with the President of the USA (he was never gonna put any ring on it, girl and you knew it. Btw, Kelly is the baby-trapper in this story and no one else, I won’t change my mind ever), but he is nevertheless one of the most powerful beings in all existence. I honestly think that the only character who has ever understood Jack was Donatello.

Donatello: Oh. Speaking not as a prophet but as a scientist, I don’t think teaching him is in the cards. It’s like asking a lion not to be a lion. Sam: But this is not a lion! This is a human! Donatello: With a strong dose of God juice.

It’s not a strong dose of demon blood, Sam. It’s God juice, okay? LOL. Anyway, Donatello is super on point here: Jack is human and not-human. He’s a living aporia, the character where all the false dichotomies of the series show their fallacies. He’s “both… and” incarnated. He’s born and he’s already in his 20s. He’s a child and he’s a not-child. He has an age and he’s without age. Nobody will ever come close to understanding him if they cling close to a “black or white, good or evil” mentality. And this is why the show totally failed (for me) in s14 and how Sam is also failing here because he projects his own (respectable and very real) Lucifer-related issues with evilness onto Jack. Jack is beyond “good and evil” because he’s both human and angel, he embodies two different moralities and also transcends both of them because he’s neither only human nor only angel. To sum up, I don’t think that Supernatural, with its structure and its specific morality, could have handled a character like Jack. And this is why the show has to de-power him, de-soul him, make him die and resurrect etc.

Back to Sam and his failings. He projects his own stuff onto Jack, he wants to use him as a “can-opener”, he thinks Jack can be saved from “evil” because he can teach him. My question is: how much can Sam be negatively judged for these actions? My answer is: not so much.

As far as projections go, this is what he’s been doing from S1. Per SPN structure, both Sam and Dean have been projecting and identifying their issues onto the monsters of the weeks for 15 seasons. Jack is just the “Monster of the Season”. Projection and identification, identification and projection… I mean, this is what the show is about. If all of sudden Sam had woken up and miraculously solved all his identity-related issues the show would have been over.

As far as the utilitarian aspect goes, Sam has actually made some progress here. He “only” surveils Jack via cameras and tries to convince him to do some stupid exercises with a pencil. Previously on Supernatural Sam had literally enslaved, chained and imprisoned the people/creatures he wanted to use. These kids, they grow up so fast :”).

As far as the “do no evil” teaching goes, now here’s what’s really interesting to me.

The episode is “The Rising Son” and Sam’s passionate plea for Jack’s goodness via his teachings is paralleled to Asmodeus’s attempt at locating Jack in order to find him and harness his “timeless knowledge and unschooled power”. Asmodeus acts like Lucifer acted with Sam in S11 in that he pushes Jack to open up the earth “for God” (“I speak the words of God”, “God has a message for you”, “Do it for God” etc). Since Lucifer’s not here, though, Asmodeus wants to “[have]him (Jack) found and trained to rule. With me as his humble advisor, of course”. Of course we know he will fail because he himself says that he had tried to train the Shedim in the past and utterly failed.

ASMODEUS: I know the perils of Lucifer’s disappointment. DREXEL: He—he did that? ASMODEUS: Long ago. Eager to please, I freed the shedim. DREXEL: You… Oh, I’ve heard stories about— ASMODEUS: Oh, I’m sure you have. Hell’s most savage. Things so dark, and base, God himself would not allow them into the light. But I, in my pride, believed that I could train them. Use them. But Lucifer feared them, as well he should, so he forbade it, locked them up again.

This, of course, means that Sam will fail to train Jack/the Shedim too.

The parallel between Asmodeus and Sam must be explored because the show seems to pass it as an Evil (Asmodeus) vs Good (Sam) training but it’s not as simple as that. There’s even a scene where Asmodeus-as-Donatello talks about Jack with Sam and he seems to agree with Sam’s theory that Jack can be molded. While Sam thinks so because “Kelly was a good person”, Asmodeus-as-Donatello is obviously more interested in his evil father’s lineage.

While it’s true that both of them don’t even consider to give Jack a choice, to ask him questions and to try to understand him, they’re not exactly wrong when they agree that Jack’s powers do need some training, regardless of why they’re interested in his powers, Jack doesn’t have a grip on how his powers work. The show insistence on “good vs evil", however, completely ignores the very valid point where Jack’s powers are simply neither good or evil per se but they are “only” a(nother) force to be reckoned with.

This “good vs evil” thing obscures something very important and I think a distinction must be made here about what "training" really means in this context: Sam wants Jack to learn to master his powers, so that he (Jack) can be in control of them; on the other hand, Asmodeus wants to exploit Jack because of his powers, he wants to be the one who’s in control of them.

Both Sam and Asmodeus have an agenda, clearly, they’re also two characters very much interested in power. But when Asmodeus says that he wants to train Jack what he really has in mind is to groom him. Asmodeus’ techniques are very similar to Crowley’s with baby Amara and Demon Dean (I know Dean was not a child but he was one metaphorically because Crowley calls himself “Father” and “daddy” while he calls Dean “a rather scrumptious altar boy”. Ugh). These are predators’ techniques: their intent is to create intimacy with a person (for instance, Asmodeus takes on Donatello’s resemblance to lure Jack and take him to the Hell’s Gate), usually a child, to make them do what they want and abuse their victims, victims who usually don’t even realize they’re victims (Jack doesn’t know he’s being manipulated).

This is NOT what Sam means when he says he can teach Jack. Sam’s utilitarian mindset can be reproachable but his intent is not the same as Asmodeus. Sure, it’s still absolutely problematic but, again, his intent is not to open up the earth to release the Shedim and use Jack to rule Hell. He wants to open the rift to the Apocalypse World to find his mother. He is, in other words, being a softer version of John Winchester. In fact, he is replicating John’s methods because this is what he grew up with and this is what he knows. Avenging Mary’s death, finding Mary in the AU… even if the intent might be comprehensible it doesn’t justify both John and Sam’s attitude towards the reaching of their ends. Yet, their ways are still not the same ways of a Crowley or an Asmodeus.

The other thing is that John was Sam’s father. He was father to two human children whom he raised as if their childhood was a huge, endless military training. Training someone, as a concept, is not evil: if you have a skill or a talent or whatever, you need to train and learn and explore your limits. Having someone who believes in you and wants to help you in your training is not evil too: in fact, it might be a very good thing. It’s a problematic thing, however, when your caregiver is more focused on the training than the care. It’s even more problematic if said caregiver is a paranoid who raised his sons as soldiers. But this is still NOT the same thing as demons such as Crowley and Asmodeus do.

The differences in "training" and what Sam fails to understand about what happened with Asmodeus is explained in "Patience":

SAM: Even with Asmodeus, that just happened?

JACK: No, he made me. It was like, like he was in my head.

SAM: Okay um, then uh… Imagine him doing that.

JACK: No!

SAM: No? Why not?

JACK: Because I don’t want to! It’s just… I can’t do this! And you keep staring at me, waiting!

Asmodeus made Jack use his powers, he was in his head. He had also abducted him, manipulated him: he wasn't trying to train him, he was trying to groom him. Of course Jack doesn't want that.

If Sam is replicating his father's teachings we must then ask: who is Jack to Sam in this moment in the narrative? He’s definitely not his son nor his sibling. But he's not someone Sam keeps in locks either. As I’ve said, Sam has never been above imprisoning people in his dungeon to reach his goal, yet he takes another road with Jack, maybe precisely because he’s identifying with him and projecting onto him his own fears and issues with “being evil” and “being a freak”. There is something very similar between the two but what is it? And why is it not expressed? Maybe Sam is not Jack the way he thinks he is but they do share one thing: they have both missed the opportunity to create a bond with their respective mothers.

Sam only really utterly fails Jack when he’s dishonest with him. He eventually understands that and comes clean with him but I think that a lot of the initial issues happened because he was not communicating with Jack at all. And he didn’t even give him a choice. I think that if Sam were honest with Jack and gave him the choice to help him he would have discovered another thing that make them veeeery similar: both of them are okay with twisting human morality and… sort of… manipulate people a little to get what they want. Does this make them evil villains? To me, no. Does this make them human, layered, compelling characters that raise interesting moral questions more than give black and white answers? Totally yes!

Sam and Jack are not “totally different” but they are different. Conversely, they are not “totally similar” but they are similar. The Rescuing of the Mother can happen because The Loss of the Mother is something that Jack can deeply understand and relate to. He doesn’t want to save Mary just to please Sam and Dean. I think it’s deeper than that.

In case it wasn't clear, the conflation of Mary and Kelly is very clear in "The Big Empty":

MIA: You’ve lost someone recently? DEAN: No. JACK: My mother. SAM: Uh, our mother. We’ve having a difficult time.

Mary-as-Missed/Missing-Mother is such a central theme in this season that the Apocalypse World is a literal ramification of the Original World that's solely dependent on Mary Winchester’s choice to not deal with Azazel. John is never brought back and, more importantly, Sam and Dean are never born. This is a world where she’s not the mother. But why is Mary’s choice so vital it can create different timelines?

S12 and S13 implicitly seem to tell that everything that happened was because of Mary’s choice and… it’s, like, not true? Sometimes Sam and Dean are so ultra-focused on “free will” and “making the right choices” that tend to forget the part where both them and their parents were part of a larger scheme that was predicated on people ultimately being herd towards a designed pen. Like, while I think that Dean and Sam having issues with their mother is completely real and plausible, I don’t understand why the narrative re-frames itself in this way… I understand that they were going for a specific retelling of the first seasons but this is not just retelling, this is demolishing the premises of those series. S4-5 were precisely about the mystification and the perils of a glorified, Grand Destiny that in reality was nothing but a Big Scam. It’s not your destiny if your destiny is something that somebody else is telling you about and when this somebody else has a vested interest in you believing that you have that specific destiny. Or if somebody else is removing all of your choices leaving you with close to nothing to choose from.

Apocalypse World is, thus, such an unfair double-edged sword, cause on the one hand, it gives Mary agency but on the other it shows us that both choices resulted in… well, frankly, catastrophes. And I think it’s unfair to throw this huge weight onto her shoulders after they had dug her up from her grave while completely ignoring the whole thing about senior management angels playing puppeteers with the Winchesters.

Kelly-as-Missed/Missing-Mother is the other side of the coin of this little argument of mine because in s13 the writers demonstrated how Kelly must stay dead because one mother is enough and they didn’t know what to make of Kelly since she was not a hunter. She was just, as a character, Jack’s mother. The rift to the Apocalypse World was even possible in the first place because she (more or less, it’s complicated) decided that she would.have.her.baby. But, just like Mary before her resurrection, if his actual mother were back in the game it either meant that Jack was out of the game or that they had to include her in some capacity into the Winchesters dynamics and they didn’t want any of that. Mary’s death meant that Sam and Dean entered the hunters’ life, Kelly’s death assures the same for Jack. Plus, they all have an angel watching over them, isn't it just great? But hey, wait, this is the absent fathers show so we’re gonna give this kid three, four, five fathers!!! (sarcastic). Also, Alive Kelly wouldn’t be the Good, Perfect, Dead Mother that she is to Jack because, well, she would be a Real Character, not a memory on a pen drive and Alive Kelly would be so faaaar from the Good and Perfect Mother. Do we have to try to write another complex mother? One is enough!!! (sarcastic).

In conclusion, in s13 Sam’s (and Jack’s) huge missed opportunity stays… missing. Jack will go to the Apocalypse World and fight the angels with Mary whereas Mary decides to stay there (lol!) to help with the fight. They literally have to find a bus and move all the remaining AU people to the Original World because Mary has decided that she wanted to stay in a world where she didn’t choose John and she didn’t give birth to her sons (me asking Sam who has just died and was resurrected by Lucifer only to find out that his mother didn’t want to be saved: are you REALLY okay? LOL). I’ll stop here cause this is getting way too long but maybe, just maybe, s13 as a whole was a giant missed opportunity.

[fandom-hoarder]

Dean Timeline Repost for Future Reference

Since many of us do not (or soon will not) have access to the Dean Timeline by @/soft-pine as a resource, I've decided to repost it before I've actually had the time to read the whole thing myself. I tried adding the original to the Wayback Machine, but because the original post has a readmore on it, I don't know of a way to save the full post to the Wayback Machine. (If anyone knows a way, please let me know in the notes or something.)

For this reason, I'm posting this without a cut at first, so I can (hopefully) save a screenshot to the Wayback Machine. Once that's done, I will put a cut to save the dash. I will have reblogs turned off until I've added a readmore and a WBM link to this post.

Updated with WBM archive link. It still gives a tumblr login wall after a couple seconds, so if you need to use it you'll want to select all and copy pretty quickly.

Link address (add after h tt ps : // and delete spaces) web. archive. org / web/20240307174920/ ht tps : //www . tumblr . com / fandom-hoarder /744313831414792192 /dean-timeline-repost-for-future-reference ? source = share

When consulting this timeline as a canon resource, I would keep in mind that John's Journal is not technically canon, and that some factoids from the TV canon may be unreliable narration or retcons (such as the mention of the Grand Canyon in s8, when previous canon already states that Sam and Dean have never been there.)

Originally posted by @/soft-pine:

Timeline of Every Anecdote from Dean's Childhood in Supernatural

This is super open to feedback and suggestions if I missed something. This also includes a few quotes and things from a couple of the tie-in novels where they don't conflict with canon.

Content notes: death, child abuse, alcohol

1983

Dean is 4

John & Mary used to call Dean their “little piglet” because he liked to eat so much. [1]

Dean played T-ball. [2]

Mouse Trap is Dean's favorite game. [3]

Mary would feed Dean tomato-rice soup when he was sick. [4]

Mary would sing "Hey Jude" as a lullaby. [5]

Dean really likes Mary's meatloaf. He doesn't know she gets it from Piggly Wiggly. [6]

Between May and November John and Mary had a fight and John left home for a few days. [7]

November 2 - Mary Winchester dies, Sam is 6 months old.

November 6 - Mary Winchester's funeral. Her uncle arranges a headstone even though she doesn't have a body. [8] John Doesn't go. [9]

Before November 16 – They're staying with friends, Mike and Kate. [8] John Meets Missouri. [11]

November 16 – John walks out of Mike & Kate's. Takes boys to Julie's. Goes to see Missouri. Julie gets killed. They leave Lawrence. [12] “Got the hell out of Lawrence. If I never go back, it'll be too soon. Not for Dean, though. The first thing he wanted to know was when we would go remember a home [sic]. But we don't have a home anymore, Dean. The sooner you get used to that, the better.” [13]

John leaves a box of pictures in the basement of the house. [14]

November 20 – Dean sees John kill a shapeshifter. [15] “Dean walked out of the roadhouse right when I put the final bullet into the shape-shifter's head. And he said, 'Why'd you kill him, Dad?'” [16]

November 21 – Boys are with Pam & Bill in Elgin. John's first night away from them. [17] “Here's what I wish I could say to Dean – Your brother's too young to understand any of this, but you're beginning to. And that scares me. Since your mother died, I've seen unspeakable things, and now you've seen them and that's my fault.... Until then, I can only pray that you're strong enough to look after Sam. One of us has to be.” [18]

November 25 – John meets Pastor Jim. [19]

November 29 – John gets the boys from Elgin & leaves. [20]

December - Dean still hardly talks. He never budges from John's side – "or from his brother. Every morning, Dean is inside the crib, arms wrapped around baby Sam. Like he’s trying to protect him from whatever is out there in the night. [21]

December 11 - Sammy has finally started sleeping through the night, and now that Dean shares a bed with him, he’s out like a light as well. [22]

December 25 - "a crooked two foot tall plastic tree, a bunch of junk food stuffed in the stockings, and a pile of sports equipment for the boys… football, basketball, soccer." [23]

December 29 - “Dean hasn't been the same since he saw me kill that shape-shifter. I don't know how to talk to him about it. He's not even five years old. Most kids his age don't even have a clear idea what death is, and he's seen it up close and personal. What do I say to him? How old does he have to be before I tell him the truth?”[24]

13.21 (okay this is technically in a dream of Sam's)

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/John%27s_Journal_(diary_entries)

14.17

5.13

5.13

12.2

5.16

2.04

"John's Winchester's Journal" by Alex Irvine

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/John%27s_Journal_(diary_entries)

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

1.09

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/John%27s_Journal_(diary_entries) & John's Journal

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/John%27s_Journal_(diary_entries) & John's Journal

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/John%27s_Journal_(diary_entries) & John's Journal

John's Journal

1984

Dean is 5

“I realized I can't leave [Dean] in school... I know he should be able to run around with other kids, who don't know how to field-strip the Browning. Well, Dean doesn't either, yet. But he's learning. He's got a talent for guns. I can see it already. And he'll need it.” [1]

May 2 – John meets Daniel Elkins. [2]

May 17 - “Sammy took his first steps yesterday. He walked toward Dean, then fell flat on his face and started crying. Life is tough, kid. Do I sound like a proud dad? I am.” [3]

1-3. John's Journal

1985

Dean is 6

January 24 - “It's been more than a year since he saw me kill a shape-shifter. He doesn't talk about it anymore. And he's stopped asking when he's going to go to school. Maybe this year, now that he's a little older, now that he knows a little more about things. I've been teaching him. Not the worst stuff, but enough so he knows that there are things that go bump in the night.” [1]

September 7 – Dean's first day of school. [2] “He asked on the way in whether kids in school learned the same stuff he'd been learning. I had to tell him that maybe it wasn't a good idea for him to talk about Dad's job on the playground. He came home on the top of the world, and he brought me worksheets with the names of the different parts of a fish...” [3]

November 2 - “Dean saw something on my face, or maybe it was just that he knew what day it is. When I got here, he came up to me and asked if I'd had a tough hunt. I couldn't talk for a minute.” [4]

November 14 – John takes Dean shooting the first time. “Took Dean shooting. If he's big enough to try to comfort me, he's big enough to start learning the tools of the trade. I only let him fire the .22, but he is a deadeye marksman. My drill sergeant would have taken him over me in a second. Times like this, I sure am proud of my boy. I have a feeling it will be different with Sammy. Maybe he's just too young to show it, but I don't think he's got the same kind of killer instinct.” [5] John takes Dean out shooting for the first time, using bottles as target practice. According to Dean, he "bullseyed every one of them." Dean remembers this story as him being “6 or 7." Dean cites this story as one of the fonder memories of his father. [6]

Rufus spent the whole year being nice. It was the worst year of his life.

1-5. John's Journal

6. 2.06

1986

Dean is 7. “For his seventh birthday, I took Dean shooting again. He wanted to fire one of the big guns – that's what he called them. I let him shoot the Browning, but I steadied his hands. Sammy wanted me to help him make Dean a card.” [1]

Dean starts having a crush on Daisy Duke. [2]

April 16 – Bill Harvelle dies. [3]

May 2 - “Sammy is three years old today. We celebrated with ice-cream cake. He was still wearing most of it when he fell asleep. Dean's sleeping too, the two of them in the same bed. The room only has one bed. I'll sleep on the floor... Some nights it's enough to watch them sleep, and know that if they start having a nightmare, I'll be right there to stop it.” [4]

September 5 – Dean starts second grade. “I watch him like a hawk. He makes me swear that I'll take good care of Sammy before he'll go to school. God, I love that kid.... Sammy's a very different kid. He hasn't taken to the idea of hunting bad guys, and he's still too young to really understand what it means to avenge his mother.” [5]

November 2 – “Dean watches his little brother like a hawk every minute, with an expression on his face that says he's willing to die to keep Sammy safe. [Mary] doesn't know how it tears me up inside to see that expression, and to know that it's there because I have drilled it into Dean that Sammy is his responsibility. He's eight [sic] years old, and I've told him his brother's life is in his hands. Mary, I didn't have any right to do that. But what else could I do?” [6]

John began the masked vampire case - looking into killings and kidnappings along Route 77. [7]

John's Journal

11.13

2.06, 2.14 & John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

15.20

1987

Dean is 8

January 24 - Dean's school has a party for him then John takes them to Chuck E. Cheese's. [1]

John takes Dean and Sam on a donkey ride at the Grand Canyon. Dean’s donkey is very flatulent which Sam finds very funny. [2]

May 2 – John has to pull Dean out of school because a demon knows where they are. “Dean understands.” [3]

May 17 - “I'm starting to figure out you can move a kid from school to school every month, and the schools deal with it because they have to. A part of me wonders how the kids deal with it. But sons have to be soldiers. And soldiers adapt.” [4]

July 13 – A hunt goes bad for John in Portland, Maine. “We were almost to the New Hampshire state line and I'd told Dean a little about what had happened, because I was so frustrated and ashamed that I had to talk to someone. Sammy was asleep the whole time. Then Dean asked me one of those killer questions that little kids come up with. 'Dad,' he says, 'Won't the manitou go after other people now?' That's a hard thing to face. Not that he asked the question, or that he was right, but that he had a better sense of right and wrong than I did.” [5]

November 2 - “Dean asked me today what she looked like. He never talks about her on any other day but this one. I couldn't even show him a picture, so I told him what you tell a boy who asks about his dead mother. I told him that she was beautiful and kind and she loved him and Sammy more than anything in the world.” [6]

Dean has begun hunting. [7]

John's Journal

8.21

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

11.08

1988

Dean is 9

January 24 - “We're on our third move, so he might not finish third grade. He calls himself the New Kid all the time. He's been to three schools already this year. Who knows how many more.” [1]

May 2 - John is hunting a Shtriga in Wisconsin when he leaves Sam and Dean alone in a hotel room. Dean gets bored and goes out and comes back to find the Shtriga attacking Sammy. John returns in time to scare the Shtriga off. [2] “I could blame Dean, but it's my fault. There's enough blame to go around. I missed the kill, and I left Dean watching Sam, and he couldn't pull the trigger when he needed to. I haven't taught him well enough. If he is weak like that again, my boys will die... but what kind of father am I to put my a nine-year-old boy in a situation where he might have to kill to protect his brother? I'm the kind of father I have to be. I'm the kind of father who teaches his boys that no man or monster can kill their mother and get away with it.” [3]

They know Pastor Jim by this point. [4]

Dean and Sam (5) were playing dress up as Batman and Superman and jump of the roof of a shed. Sam breaks his arm and Dean took him to the E.R. on the handlebars of his bike. [5]

May – John knows Bobby by now. [6]

December 5 - “Dean's teacher called to tell me that he got a subscription to Weekly World News, and had it delivered to school. How is he paying for it? I could ask him, but he's already too sharp to give me a straight answer. And I could force him to, but there's no point. If that makes him feel more at him in this world...” [7] (Dean later misremembers the name of the newspaper.[8])

At some point before now Dean is given his first beer by Fred Jones in Salt Lake City. [9]

John's Journal

1.18

John's Journal

1.18

9.15 (mentioned again in 11.08)

John's Journal

John's Journal

2.03

8.08. He also apparently gives Sam his first beer too but it's unlikely it was this same time?

1989

Dean is 10

January 24 - “Dean turns ten today. Regan out of office.” [1]

Dean knows how to drive. [2] “Not young like I was when he actually taught me how to drive.” [3] (If Sam learned to drive by 9 (see 1992), it stands to reason Dean would have learned at least that early if not sooner.)

“When I was 10, I got my first B&E from borrowing some family's pay-per-view so I could watch the cage match between you and the Tower of Power.” [4]

May 2 – Sam turns six. John sends him to kindergarten. “He's such a different kid than Dean. Quiet, watchful. He's learned that there are things to fear in the world, but where Dean wants to fight them, you get the sense that Sammy watches, learns.” [5]

July 4 – Dean & Sam are in a day camp. Staying nights with Pastor Jim – camping in his yard. “On the fifth day of the camp, Dean was canoeing through an easy rapids on the Blue Earth River. Things went bad. Dean swore to me when he came back that he'd seen something – only he said 'someone' – capsize the canoe. I didn't think about it too much... until the next week when another canoe went over and the counselor paddling it died.” John pulls them from camp. [6]

Dean: "You couldn't been more than 5— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know.... I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job..." [7]

November 2 - “Today I overheard the boys talking about her, about her death. Sammy's old enough to be asking hard questions, and I think that's making Dean think about some things that he'd put away until now. He's a tough little kid, Dean. Like me. But he's also like me in the way he holds things in. Now his little brother is asking him things and he's got to figure out a way to protect Sammy while Sammy's questions put him through the emotional wringer all over again.” [8]

Bobby takes Dean to play catch instead of “practice with the double-barrel” as John had instructed Dean. In the flash back Rufus guesses the year is around 1989. “No, we didn't shoot rifles, as a matter of fact. We threw a ball around. He's a kid, John. They both are. They're entitled.... Yeah, I know I ain't their dad.” Bobby hangs up and throws the phone down. [9]

John's Journal

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/Origins_1

11.04

11.15

John's Journal

John's Journal

2.22

John's Journal

7.10

1980s General

(i.e. there isn't a specific date mentioned for this but I'm guessing from context that it happened in this decade)

Sam sticks army men into Baby's ashtray. [1]

Dean sticks Legos into the vents. [2]

Dean eating all of Sam's Halloween candy sometime. [3]

John taking them to see World of Wrestling. Sometime before Dean is ten. Dean calls it “one of the nicest things” John ever did. Sam remembers John getting drunk. [4]

John takes Dean fishing. When Dean tells Jack, Jack feels from his tone that it's his happiest memory of John. [5]

Dean telling Sam a stupid joke to distract him from ripping off bandaids when he was little. [6]

The first beer John shared with Dean tasted like "crap". [7]

Sam's memory of Thanksgivings: “We had a bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch. [8]

"I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up." [9]

Dean says he believed the TV ads about Sea Monkeys having families [10]

Dean mentions a babysitter, Mrs Chancy, who was obsessed with the TV show Dynasty [11], which ran until 1989 when Dean was ten. This could be a lie he's just telling a kid to get him to open up about his babysitter though.

"Alright, here we go. John Winchester's famous cure-all kitchen sink stew. There you go. Enough cayenne pepper in there to burn your lips off, just like Dad used to make."

"You used to read to me, um, when I was little, I— I mean, really little, from that— from that old, uh... Classics Illustrated comic book. You remember that? ... Knights of the Round Table. Had all of King Arthur's knights, and they were all on the quest for the Holy Grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, and, and, and he was kneeling, and— and light streaming over his face..."

5.22

5.22

12.11 & 14.04

11.15

14.17

15.01

15.20

5.16

1.22

5.06

5.06

8.21

8.21

1990

Dean is 11

January 24 - “Dean turns eleven today. He asked for his own gun, and I got him one. A Seecamp LWS .32 automatic, the smallest gun I could find that offered any kind of stopping power. Dean and I poured silver slugs for it ourselves and we loaded it with alternating silver and Winchester hollow-points. He's got it in his pocket now.” [1]

January - John is injured on a hunt in Windom, Minnesota, and goes to the hospital, where he meets Kate Milligan. [2]

May 2 – They've moved around enough that Sam is behind in school. John thinks he should do more like home teaching. “I'd ask Dean to do it, but there's only so much you can pile on a kid. Having Sammy's life in his hands is enough for Dean; he can't be responsible for home-schooling Sammy too.” [3]

September 29 - Adam Milligan is born. [4]

At some point Dean makes a sawed off. He's in sixth grade. [5]

John's Journal

4.19

John's Journal

4.19

3.03

1991

Dean is 12

February – Winchesters go to Albuquerque for a few months. Dean “even talked about wanting to play basketball this spring, but I'm not sure he's serious. I think he's taking cues from me, talking about everyday stuff when I try to keep us in one place. Then when we're on the road again, all he can talk about is hunting.” [1]

March – Sam played a sunbeam in the school play and talking about a science project to enter into the school fair. John working construction. [2]

March 17 – The kids play soccer. [3]

April 1 – John quits his job. Mrs Lyle kidnaps Sam – taking him to a regional science fair but not. “Dean came through. I don't have any words for how proud I am of him. His brother's under some kind of spell, there's a giant monster made out of train parts coming after me, and he has the presence of mind to find the journal and read the exorcism out of it. I almost lost both of my boys today.... How am I going to explain to Sammy that we're not going back to school?... To top it all off, I had to give Sammy a sharp lecture on not talking to strangers. While I was on the phone with Bobby, he just got out of the car and went up to a black Seville. I read him the riot act – Dean too, since he let it happen and it's his job to watch Sammy. All Sammy would say about it was that the guy wanted to know where we were going.” [4]

April 7 – At Bobby's. [5]

April 18 – Silas, friend of Bobby's tells John Sam is special. [6]

April 19 – John taking Dean deer hunting. “It's out of season but the Dakotas are lousy with Deer and Dean needs to pull a trigger to sharpen him up.... The hunting trip was nearly a disaster. Dean missed the shot. I sent him after the buck, a beautiful twelve-pointer, and he dropped the gun when he tripped on the trail. Then out of nowhere comes Sammy, who picks up the gun and lays that big boy out. A seven-year old... well, almost eight. Then he tells me that the deer had taken Dean's gun, and that Sammy had to protect him.” Sam got a ride from the Black Seville to the trail. They go back to see Silas. Dean & John leave for an hour but they see the Seville. Go back to Silas'. John leaves Dean outside with Sam on the porch but John finds Silas butchered inside. [7]

Dean to Bobby: “You used to take us hunting. Remember? Dad had a case, he'd just dump us on you. Shoot, you must have taught us most of the outdoor tracking we know.” Bobby: “Yeah, what I could get to stick. I never could get you little grubs to pull a trigger on a single deer.” Dean: “You’re talking about Bambi, man.” Bobby: “You don't shoot Bambi, jackass. You shoot Bambi's mother.” [8] (This interaction isn't directly referencing the story above but it adds context, I think.)

April 20 – John has kidnapped Anderson, from the Black Seville, stolen the car and Dean killed Anderson. “My oldest son is blooded.” [9]

December 25 - Sam (8) and Dean are at a motel in Broken Bow, Nebraska. John is hunting while Sam and Dean spend Christmas alone together. Sam reads John's Journal and finds out that Mary's death was supernatural, monsters are real, and that John hunts them. He confronts Dean, who confirms it. Sam gives Dean an amulet. [10] John suspects Sam has been reading the journal. Says he left them presents. Dean stole night vision goggles from the gun show in Amarillo to give to John from him & Sam. [11] “They're both starting to act out a little, because we're apart so much. Sam gets resentful and has trouble keeping his temper. Dean tries to fix everything and keep us together as a team.” [12]

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

7.09

John's Journal

3.08

John's Journal

John's Journal

1992

Dean is 13

January 24 – they celebrate at Mama Janer's in Flint, Michigan. [1]

March 30 - “I thought the lesson was learned back in Wisconsin, but the same thing almost happened again. I left the boys next at the beach in Two Lakes State Park and went looking for a skinwalker, and then it was Ichi all over again. Only this time the skinwalker took on the appearance of a park ranger it had killed, and nearly got the boys to come with it because they trusted the uniform. I still can't completely trust them on a hunt. I took it down, and lit into the two of them. Especially Dean. I have to be hard on him because one of these days I'm not going to be around, and he's the one who's going to have to look out for his brother. He's a badass, though. I thought I was tough when I was thirteen, but Dean would have kicked my ass six ways to Sunday.” [2]

John buys a Playboy featuring Anna-Nicole Smith, both boys end up reading it. [3]

June - Sam tells John he is afraid of the monster in his closet and John gives him a .45. [4] Sam sleeps with it under his pillow and sleeps soundly for 5 nights in a row. [5]

Sam wants to go hunting with Dean. Dean says John said no. John calls to ask Sam to come. [6]

Sam learns to drive when he's nine. [7]

John's Journal

John's Journal

7.22

1.01

John's Journal

11.08

John's Journal (mentioned in 1999)

1993

Dean is 14

January 24 – Dean goes to the movies with "girlfriend" (according to John) Katie. “Quite the ladykiller that kid. Like I was at his age.” John thinks Dean is like him and trouble. “He's like me. If i'm not careful with him, by the time he's twenty he'll have left a trail of kids and arrests warrants all over the country.” [1]

January – Motel Baba Yaga case. Dean says, “I was babysitting you when I was your age”. Sam says "I'm pretty sure that's illegal." Dean sees the nest, a pile of dead kids and has "nightmares about it for the longest time." [2]

May – Sam has been on a soccer team. He had a game and John took him bow hunting instead. They need to learn weapons because “there are demons after Sammy. He needs to know how to fight them, and Dean needs to know how to protect him.” [3]

Summer - John takes them hiking in the Rocky Mountains. One day he fills packs for Sam & Dean and takes them up a mountain and leaves them around dark, telling them to wait for an hour then try to find the way back and that he doesn't expect them for days. They find the packs are full of mostly useless supplies. John says it's a lesson not to trust anyone. [4] (DM me if you want the full quote. It's really sad.)

December 25 – Joplin, Missouri. Sam & Dean give John a book on theosophy which John guesses they stole. [5]

John's Journal

15.16

John's Journal

"Witches Canyon" by Jeff Mariotte, 195-198

John's Journal

1994

Dean is 15

January – Dean helps John “take out a spirit haunting a grocery owned by an Indian family in Erie, Pennsylvania.” It wasn't as simple as burning bones because of different traditions. [1]

May 2 – Sam asks for a computer for his birthday. John gets him a Macintosh Performa. “Looks like Team Winchester just took a big leap ahead when it comes to gathering information.” John mentions Bobby helped him get fake credit cards. [2]

Summer - Sam and Dean spend part of the summer being looked after by Donna, a babysitter (and maid at the Mayflower) in Housatonic, Massachusetts, while John hunts. One time John is gone for two weeks. It is the summer before Sam enters 6th grade, and he assigns himself a summer reading list. Dean possibly has a crush on Donna. [3]

October - They are living In Bismark (North Dakota?). Sam has a crush on Andrea Howell & has a really bad experience at her Halloween party, throwing up. Sam hides in the woods until Dean comes and gets him. [4]

Sam still believes in the Easter Bunny until close to here. [5]

John's Journal

John's Journal

5.12

14.04

10.12

1995

Dean is 16

January 24 – Montana hunting a werewolf with bows. John says he'll let Dean take the lead on the hunt the next day. [1]

January 25 – Dean does very well. Good shot. [2] Dean's first Werewolf. Sam go to the body burning. "So. I pick up this crossbow. And I hit that ugly sucker with a silver-tipped arrow right in his heart. Sammy's waiting in the car, and uh, me and my dad take the thing into the woods, burn it to a crisp. I'm sitting there and looking into the fire, and I'm thinking to myself, I'm sixteen years old. Most kids my age are worried about pimples, prom dates. I'm seeing things that they'll never even know. Never even dream of." [3]

Dean spends two months at Sonny's Home for Boys after being caught shoplifting. [4]

April 20 - Dean's award for New York Wrestling Champion. [5] John is in Oklahoma City hunting. [6]

Sam spends all of his time on the computer or arguing with John. “He wants to be in one place, live a normal life. The older he gets, the more he wants it. But the older he gets, the more I'm going to need him to help on the hunt. He's got to understand that.” [7]

November 13 – Sam's soccer team won division championship. John writes that he's proud of him and that he'll keep the trophy. [8]

November 24 - Sam has his first traditional Thanksgiving dinner at his crush Stephanie’s house. He has been attending a school called McKinley for two weeks. [9]

John's Journal

John's Journal

2.03

9.07

9.07

John's Journal

John's Journal

3.03 & John's Journal Book

5.16

1996

Dean is 17

January 24 – John takes Dean shooting. Then sends him to hunt. “I've let him take the lead before but I've always been there to back him up. This time he's on his own. Partly it's a test, and partly I wanted some time with Sammy. Should be no problem for Dean. Ghosts of two nuns haunting St. Stephen's Indian Mission in Riverton, Wyoming. Simple salt-and-burn mission. Nuns in love with each other, then discovered. Killed themselves. We scoped the situation out, figured that something must be left behind that's now a focus for the haunting. Bible, rosary beads, some small article that's hidden somewhere in their room. I figured Dean would take care of it no problem, but I still stayed close by with Sammy.... Dean took care of the nuns just like I thought he would, but I don't think I'm going to be sending him on any more solos soon.” [1]

Sam finishes sixth grade a year late. He's mad about it. [2]

July 4 - Dean and Sam set off fireworks in a field and almost burn it down. [3]

At some point when Sam was 13 he ran away for two weeks while under Dean's watch in Flagstaff, Arizona, living off pizza in a cabin and befriending a dog he called Bones. Dean scoured the whole town looking for him and worried he might have died, and John was furious when he found out. [3]

John's Journal

John's Journal

5.16

5.16

1997

Dean is 18

January 24 – John gives Dean the Impala. “I've taught Dean a lot of what I know about working on cars, which was everything until 1983.... He knows I'll still be driving it, but he's a man now, and since he's already made his share of kills, this was the only right of passage I could think of. He goddamn well better take care of it.” [1]

When he's 13, Sam briefly wants to be a magician. [2]

May – Sam has been having strange dreams. “Plus now that he's hitting adolescence, he's a giant pain in the ass. Dean just chased girls and snuck around with beers in his coat pockets.” Sam just shuts down or wants to argue. [3]

June 16 – John claims Dean graduates high school & gets a diploma. John says Sam will be graduating when he's nineteen and will be mad about it. [4] But Dean didn't graduate high school. He got a GED. [5]

July 4 - Sam and Dean “burned down that field” when they set off their own fireworks display. [6]

Summer - The Winchesters hunt a werewolf. [7]

November - Sam and Dean attend Truman High in Fairfax, Indiana, for 3 or 4 weeks, while John is on a hunt that was originally supposed to be 2 weeks but ended up taking longer than expected. Dean is in 12th Grade. It is the third school they have attended since September. [8]

John's Journal

4.12

John's Journal

John's Journal

5.01

5.16

4.13

4.13

1998

Dean is 19

Sam is a mathlete. [1]

Summer - While John and Dean are off hunting a Kitsune, Sam stays in Lincoln, Nebraska, and does research for them. While there, he meets a girl and has his first kiss - only to discover that John and Dean's hunt has circled back on him. [2]

May – John feels Sam is shirking his duty. Dean and Sam don't get along as well. [3]

July - Dean goes on a solo "five states in five days" road trip, but ends up spending most of it in Cicero, Indiana, with Lisa Braeden. In the meantime, John & Sam "tie up a hunt" in Orlando, Florida. [4]

Dean meets Rhonda Hurley, she makes him try on her pink, satin panties and he likes it. [5]

At some point they spend time with Travis, the hunter. [6]

4.04

7.03

John's Journal

3.02

5.04

4.04

1999

Dean is 20

January 24 – Dean in Ohio. “Hasn't called in a couple of days. Tracking a possible poltergeist. He's supposed to call in every night. Mission discipline is critical.” [1]

John's Journal

1990s General

Dean trying to cook Winchester Surprise on a hotplate with food (baloney and sliced cheese) that it seems Sam shoplifted in the rain. John gets home and throws it out. [1] In Lebanon John tells Sam he remembers this and apologizes to Sam for it. [2]

Sam and Dean visited the Cleveland Botanical Gardens on a field trip. [3]

Dean going to CBGB "way underage" and John coming to get him. [4]

Hunting the chupacabra in Mexico. Sam is an olderish teenager when he says this happened the year before. [5]

John making Dean be bait, [6]

Dean used to live on “Nerve Damage” (“10 times the legal limit of caffeine”) as a kid. [7]

Escalating prank wars? [8]

Could be 80s too: Dean: “Remember that wreath Dad brought home that one year?” Sam: “You mean the one he stole from, like, a liquor store?” Dean: “Yeah, it was a bunch of empty beer cans. That thing was great.” [9]

14.11

14.13

5.16

10.09

11.10

14.14 production draft. Corroborated by 1.20. Putting this in 1990s and not 1980s is very generous imo.

13.08

1.17

3.08

2000

January 1 – Dean has a terrible hangover. Immobile. John is also hungover. [1]

January 24 - Dean is 21. “I'd buy him a beer if I thought it would be something new. He's also old enough to buy his own guns now. I tried to raise him right, and it looks like I did. He's a scam artist, a ladies' man, and an absolutely loyal son. He knows what's right and doesn't hesitate to do it. I'm proud of him. Now that he's hunting on his own I don't see as much of him, but I know he's out there. When I call him on a job, he's right there every time. I've spent the last sixteen years afraid that I was going to screw him up somehow. Maybe now I can forget about that.” [2]

May 2 – John buys Sam a Mac for his birthday. [3]

1-3 John's Journal

2001

Dean is 22. He's away from John in Arkansas. [1]

May 2 – Sam & John aren't getting along. “He hunts when we need him to, but he's never committed himself the way Dean did. Dean's never known any other way to live, or if he has, he doesn't act like it. He's playing the role he was born to play.... I've given [Sam] more slack that I ever gave Dean.... Dean never even thought about college. We used to joke about it once in a while.” John wants to convince Sam not to go to college. Sam helps hide their trail of credit cards. [2]

Sam smokes weed maybe. [3]

John's Journal

John's Journal

11.19

Pre-2002, 2000s General

Sam & Dean driving 1,000 miles for an Ozzy show. [1]

Driving two days for a Jayhawks game. [2]

John catches Lee and Dean 'wasted' on a hunt. [3]

John plays Dean and Lee “Good Ol Boys” before hunts. “Listen up boys this is real music. [4]

Sam used to try to get him & Dean to do 'honest work' rather than hustling pool.[5]

The Las Vegs annual trip. [6]

Sam ran tech for a production of Oklahoma. [7]

5.22

5.22

15.17

15.17

5.22

7.08 (this seems like a stretch, imo)

10.05

Post-2002, 2000s General

Dean sleeps with Annie. [1]

Dean sees Lee while Sam's in college. [2] Possibly the 'cult thing in Arizona' 'what that thing did to that family, those kids.' Because Lee does one more job after that in Texas and retires.

At some point Dean hunts a Vetala and learns they usually hunt in pairs. [3]

7.19

15.17

7.11

2002

Dean is 23. John imagines he feels physically invincible. [1]

March 8 - Sam says he's leaving hunting to go to Stanford University. John says if he leaves to stay gone. [2] “And now he's going to college? He can go to hell, is where he can go.” (“Dean has always responded to discipline because he believes in the mission”) [3]

June 13 – Sam graduated high school (he's 19). John thinks he's mad it took him a year longer. [4]

August 31 – Sam leaves & John tells him to stay gone. [5]

September - Adam Milligan meets John Winchester. [6] (This could be any time from now til 2003 but I think it would be now because John will want to feel he can replace Sam or do something right.)

John's Journal

1.01, 1.20

John's Journal

John's Journal

John's Journal

4.19

2003

Dean is 24

January 24 - “I was twenty-four when I married his mother. Sorry, kid. Every boy has to cut the apron strings sometime, and for you it's not going to be until we kill off a supernatural entity that seriously needs killing.” [1]

Dean dates Cassie Robinson in Athens, Ohio, for a few weeks, while she finishes up her senior year of college (at Ohio University). Cassie breaks up with Dean after Dean tells her about hunting. [2] It lasts less than two months. [3]

May 2 – Dean & John are leaving Ohio. John overhears Dean on the phone talking about Sam. John notices Dean has been in a rough mood. [4]

June 13 – Dean hears about a succubus in Brooklyn from Richie and heads out quickly. [5]

June 21 - Dean is involved in a hunt for the father of Cole Trenton, in Nyack, NY. [6]

October 9 – Poltergeist case in Kittanning, PA. [7] John mentions that he's been visiting Palo Alto but not like seeing Sam. [8]

John gets taken from this year into the future in "Lebanon." He is sleeping in the Impala and Dean calls him and he tells him he'll be back soon. [9]

John's Journal

1.13

5.11

John's Journal

John's Journal 3.04

10.02

1.04 & John's Journal

John's Journal

14.13

2004

Dean is 25

End of June – John visits Palo Atlo & sees that Sam has a girlfriend. [1]

September 29 - John takes Adam to a ballgame for his 14th birthday. [2]

John's Journal Book

4.19

2005

Dean is 26, dude.

January 1 - “When I was twenty-six, I'd been married for two years and had a toddler. Dean's never been with a woman for more than a couple of weeks at a time. I've prevented him from being a father.” [1]

January 24 – John mentions he's been telling Dean more about the demon stuff he's learning from Bobby. [2]

Summer - John teaches Adam to drive using the Impala (this is after John gave Dean the car for his 18th). [3]

September 29 - John buys Adam a beer when he's 15. [4]

October 3 - John cuts off contact with Dean (John is in Jericho, Dean in New Orleans). [5]

October 28 – John leaves journal in Jericho & goes after demon. [6]

End of October – Dean comes to get Sam.

Dean: "I must have stood outside your dorm for hours... because I didn't... I didn't know what... What you would say. I thought you'd tell me to... to get lost or get dead. And I don't know what I would've done... if I didn't have you. 'Cause I was so scared." [7]

John's Journal

John's Journal

4.19

4.19

1.01 & John's Journal

John's Journal

15.20

General Comments

(i.e. just quotes and things that are either too general to place in time or give windows into Dean's feelings about John at various points)

Toni Bevell saying about John's drunken rages and weeks of abandonment. Also pointing out that Dean & Sam didn't tell Mary about it. [1]

Dean says he & Sam could have benefited from a mother's dating advice. [2]

Sam talks about worrying when John & Dean would be out on a hunt and he wouldn't hear from them for days. He thought about what he would do. [3]

Sam saying it seemed to him Dean & John bonded over hunting. [4]

Dean's allusions to liking dancing/wanting to be a dancer. [5]

John saying hunter gatherings were trouble and in general keeping Sam & Dean away from them. [6]

Dean: “I know things got dicey… you know, with dad… the way he was. And I just… I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was… when I was away, you know it wasn’t ‘cause I just ran out, right? Dad would… he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that.” [7]

Dean: “Ah well, growing up it was a… it was always nice to check out once in a while. I like to watch movies where I know the bad guy is going to lose.” [8]

“you know kids, no matter what they still want the old man's approval” about an abusive dad. Dean agrees to it. [9]

Dean drinks to “crappy childhoods”. [10]

Dean: “Jo, you've got options. No one in their right mind chooses this life. My dad started me in this when I was so young... I wish I could do something else... Jo, you've got a mother that worries about you. Who wants something more for you. Those are good things. You don't throw things like that away. Might be hard to find later.” [11]

Sam: “his drill sergeant thing worked with you but it didn't work with me.” [12]

Sam: “Dad always said it was temporary, Dean. He said it for 22 years.” [13]

Dean: “And I get what I've been doing lately, you know, what with the yelling and the acting like a prison guard. It's just, that's not me. You tell yourself you're not gonna be something, you know? But my dad was exactly like this. All the time. It's scaring the hell out of me.” [14]

Sam: “I wish I could have that kinda innocence.” Dean: “If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too.” [15]

“I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is mixing Pop Rocks and Coke—protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. The more I think about it...the more I wish Dad had lied to us.” [16]

Dean says he's been wanting John and Mary back together since he was four. [17]

Dean learned to use CB radios to look for leads from truckers. John used them all the time. [18]

“Growing up on the road, no matter where Dad dragged us, no matter what we did, there was always a TV. And you know what was on that TV? Scooby and the gang.” [19]

Sam: "And when we were kids how many times did we tell dad we were fine just to make him happy?!" [20]

Sam says explicitly that they had to hustle pool to eat. [21] Additionally, Sam says John made them do this. [22]

Travis: "you ever been really hungry? I mean, haven't-eaten-in-days hungry?" Dean: a 'yeah' so emphatic his voice cracks. Sam: silence. [23]

John: “You know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, and after what I'd seen, I'd be, I'd be wrecked. And you, you'd come up to me and you, you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye and you'd... You'd say 'It's okay, Dad'... You shouldn't have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once.” [24]

12.21

11.12

11.18

12.20

7.16 & 15.10

2.03 & 12.06

14.12

14.04

13.02

10.12

2.06

13.04

6.02

6.02

1.18

5.06

14.13

13.11

13.16

14.16

15.11

1.08

4.04

2.01

Shoutout to these great timelines as well! http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/Timeline_(Pre-series) & https://supernatural.fandom.com/wiki/Chronology_of_Supernatural

#supernatural#deanwinchtser#dean winchester#spn#timeline#john winchester#john winchesters a+ parenting#baby dean#sam winchester#weechesters#info dump#spn text post