#dad is back but the first thing on his mind is sam and mary not he

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

yessss yess the real question would be who starts yelling first. my bets are on dean. i need 12.14 type anger but worse

I’m pretty sure @finalgirlsamwinchester said this first but supernatural episode 14.13 “lebanon” except it’s succession austerlitz family therapy

[prettypinkporkchop]

hello

can you write paul x reader

reader is bella older sister

and she is the opposite of bella like she is extroverted and loves fashion and short skirts yk like this vibe (i imagine her like megan fox in jennifer's body) , paul imprinted on her so bad but in the first she wasn't interested in him but than she slowly likes him cuz he always try his best to get her

Heart shaped locket

You stare at Bella as if she is CRAZY! "Shopping? You?" Your eyebrow is raised to the heavens.

Yes, you've already graduated, and you're older than Bella. But let's be real, in this economy, you're staying with your dad, Charlie. Just until you can get on your feet.

Bella laughs and stares off through the kitchen. "Yeah.. yeah I just really have to.. get my mind off of Edward." She sighs.

You roll your eyes. "Bella, how many times do I have to repeat myself? He's ugly. He's weird. And you're still in high school! Let's turn the page, babe." You put a hand on your hip.

She shifts her feet before looking at you sternly. "You've never experienced love."

-----

"Child, can you take this to Billy's? Jake's got mono." You turn from the sink and see your dad on the table, getting ready to leave for work. He's holding a case of beer. "Don't get too close. Me and the man can't hang out until Jake is better." He scratches his beard.

"Okay, dad." You pat his shoulder and grab the case from his hands.

You get in your car and then drive to Billy's house. Gosh, you remember Jake and Bella playing around the mud and pissing you off.

You make it there and knock on the door. You take your top and cover your nose and mouth and then back up a bit.

The door opens, and there stands a smiling Billy. "Kid, you're fine. Uncover your mouth, I'm not sick." He laughs.

You laugh and drop your shirt back on your chest. "If you can't go to the store, then obviously it's serious enough for me to-"

Bella's truck speeds in, parking next to your car. She walks up to you guys. "Where's Jake?" She asks.

Billy looks at you and then her. "He's sick." He says.

Bella pushes past him. "Sorry."

Billy turns, calling her name. You grab the end of your hair and awkwardly play with it. Billy sighs and turns back to face you. Then, you hear whistling. You look over and see the Uley gang.

Next thing, Bella is walking over there.

Oh shit.

"BELLA MARIE!" You call out. You step on the wet grass, following her. Your headband starts falling off, and you stop to adjust it. "Damn it." You hiss.

You hear something from the guys, and you look up. Paul is fuming. You are in fear of Bellas safety so you just drop your headband and run over there.

"Y/n! Bella!" Sam says. "Get back." He warns.

You get next to Bella and grab her arm. But, Paul changes into a wolf. He stomps his feet and roars.

You fall back on the ground with Bella. You look at her. "Really?! Why are you always in shit?!"

Jacob runs out and turns as well. The two wolves fight into the woods. You sigh and stand up, adjusting your skirt and shirt.

"Take them to Emily's." Sam says.

"The wolf's out of the bag." Embry says.

----

"Oh, Emily!" You hug her as you and the three others walk inside the house.

She hugs you back, smiling. "Goodness, y/n. You're adorable as always." She giggles.

"Yeah, well, not feeling it. I just saw dudes shift into wolves, so that was interesting." You reply.

Bella walks in.

"Who's this?" Emily asks.

"Bella, my sister." You roll your eyes.

"Oh, you're the vampire girl." She says.

Vampires?!

"Damn, am I in a movie or something?" You groan and sit at the table where Embry and Jared sit.

The guys and Bella start talking, and you sit and listen. It all makes sense. Geez.

Jacob and Paul come inside, and Jacob tells Bella to go outside with him. Paul sits down, apologizes to Bella, and then eats a muffin.

You look over the guy, observing him. He doesn't see you.

"Does it hurt when you shift?" You ask.

He looks up at you and then stops moving. The muffin he grabbed in his hands fell and crumble on the table. You awkwardly stare back. Embry and Jared start laughing.

Sam walks in, snapping Paul out of it. He looks down at the table and then smiles. "Not too bad." He finally responds.

"It sounds like it hurts."

Sam looks over at Paul and then you.

"Yup, poor guy. He's now locked down." Jared says.

"Huh?" You ask.

"Ignore the boys." Emily says in your ear.

---- (The cullens come back - Eclipse)

You wake up, get dressed, and do your makeup. You're sitting in front of your vanity doing your hair when Bella barges in. You turn to the door and look at her. "What?" You ask.

"Paul wants to see you." She says.

"Uh huh." You reply, turning back to your mirror and doing your hair.

"Jacob says he imprinted on you." She continues.

"Really." You don't care.

"Just talk to the guy." Bella says.

"I don't take orders from girls who wear a flannel every day." You eye her outfit from your mirror.

"Y/n, really. The guy's gonna go insane."

"Fine." You sigh. "I'll text Emily and get his number."

And that, you did. You got his number. You messaged him, "y/n." That was it. But he texted back. You haven't read it yet. You're too busy with your friend, Sandra, shopping.

She holds up a pair of shoes. You think for a minute. "You had to think too long. It's a no." She sets them back down.

Your phone in your purse starts buzzing. You frantically get it and see that it's Paul. "Hang on, love." You tell your friend. You answer it. "Hey."

"Hey, y/n! Are you busy?" He asks.

"Yup! Shopping!"

"Oh, okay! I'll catch you another time." He says.

"No, give me the tea. You've got me all curious." You say.

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me today?" He sounds shy.

Which is odd, considering you grew up around them because of your dad being friends with Billy and Harry. Fun fact! You used to help change Seth's diapers.

"Uh.." You look over at Sandra, who's smirking.

"Yes. I can. Where?" You ask.

"A date?" He asks.

"No! No date." You giggle.

"Oh uh.." He sounds awkward.

"We'll just hang out at the beach later." You say.

-----

Paul walks closer to you on the sand. "Hey, beautiful." He smiles.

"Hey." You smile back.

As he gets closer, you feel the warmth. Wolf shit. He opens his arms and wraps you up in a hug. You gently put your hands on his waist and softly pat.

"Alright." You pull away and look at him. "I know you imprinted on me, don't worry, I'm keeping my mouth shut like Bella. But just letting you know, I'm not interested. But I'm we can be friends!" You sit on the sand, crossing your legs.

He sits next to you and looks over your face. "Hmm, is there any way I can change your mind?" He touches your cheek. He moves his face close to yours.

You back away and giggle. "No, sir."

He bites his lip and looks out at the water. "You do realize how an imprint bond works, right?"

"Yup. Sam and Jacob have told all of it. So, I'm willing to be around you any time you need." You pat his bare back. The heat shocks your hand as it was just in the cool air.

You guys sit on the sand and talk about life. He's a very good guy! He's been misunderstood as a person by everyone. Deep down, his heart is big. You've told him about your life, and you two seem to favor each other. But a relationship is not where your head is right now.

----

You stumble on the sidewalk of the city, nearly falling because your heel got stuck on a rock. Paul is quick to grab your waist and hold you up. You look up at him, and his eyes look into yours with adoration.

"Thanks." You smile and hold onto his arm to keep yourself from falling.

"You're welcome, beautiful." He replies.

"Get a room." Jared groans.

Kim, who's on the other side of you, elbows him. You've gotten to know Kim, and she's pretty awesome! You both like the same stuff and hang out a bunch! She invited you to this date but told you Paul begged her to ask you to go.

"It's a nice night. Look at the moon!" Kim gasps.

You look up and see it's full and glowing. "Ooh! Perfect time to take selfies." You turn to her.

She smiles and grabs your arm. You two turn around, and she holds up her phone. You two pose in front of the moon and take pictures as it shines beautifully behind you guys.

Paul watches with his arms crossed. He's so mesmerized. You feel his eyes on you, but you're not paying it any attention. Jared touches his shoulder. Paul snaps out of it and looks at him.

----

You are listening to music and applying your face mask when your door opens. You jump up and look to see your dad.

"Oh, hey, dad." You say.

"Hey, child." He walks in the room and stands next to your vanity where you're sitting. He sets something down on the desk.

You look down and see a rose and a jewelery box. You look up at him, and he crosses his arms.

"Paul Lahote sent these." Charlie says.

You don't respond and look back down at the rose and box.

"I remember being in my twenties and being in love. I had that guy energy." He flexes his arm.

You start laughing and look back in the mirror. "Yeah, well, I'm not into him." You reply.

"Still focused on getting into that school?" He asks.

"Yup! Just one more week and I'll get my letter." You smile up at him.

"Well, if I know anything, you're smart and very driven. I'm always proud of you." He taps your vanity desk before walking out of your room.

You sigh and then wipe off your hands. You reach over to the box and open it up. You gasp at the ring and blink your eyes a few times. Your heart flutters at the fact that Paul knew what to pick for you. It's a touch of him and you. You put the ring on your middle finger.

-----

You sit at the restaurant with your group of girls. There's Chapen, who is a skater type girl, Lilly, she's a nerd, Sandra, she's the diva. She was a bitch cheerleader but kept her cool with you and Lilly. Plus, you were well liked in school. Everyone wanted to be like you. Every guy wanted you. You're used to that but never give in to them. All you want is to go to school, get your job, and then move out of your dad's.

"Please, he's so fine." Sandra looks back at the waiter.

Lilly groans and leans her head back. "Sandra, stop."

"No, you want to know fine? Embry Call." Chapen bites her burger and wiggles her eyebrows.

"Mid." You reply.

"Oh, but you've got Lahote pining for you." Sandra bumps her shoulder into yours.

"Y/n! Really?" Lilly sits up with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, that's true." You shrug it off.

"God, he's so hot!" Lilly giggles.

----

You walk into Emily's house with Bella. Harry Clearwater just passed and shits going down with a redhead who wants to eat up your sister.

You notice Seth and Leah have shifted too. They both look good! Seth smiles when he sees you and hugs you.

Leah looks pissed off , and you don't blame her. The whole Sam shit plus losing her dad? Damn.

You walk to the dining table and sit down next to Quil, who you've never even met before!

"So, Quilister." You joke.

"I kind of fuck with that nickname." He nods.

Paul comes up behind you and grabs your shoulders. His hands slide down your arms. One hand stops at your elbow, and the other one moves to your hand with the ring he gave you. He touches your fingers. You instantly get goose bumps, and your face heats up.

He notices and leans down to your ear. "You're beautiful."

You gulp.

The rest of the night was fire! You ended up getting shit faced. You, Kim, Emily, and Billy got drunk drunk. Bella and Jacob left after the fire and you don't really care where they went lol.

You slump back on the couch and close your eyes, spinning.

"Y/n, you can stay here tonight if you want." Emily offers.

"No, I'm gonna go to my bed." You smile and then stand up. You're all wobbling.

Paul grabs your waist to help you steady. "I'll drive you." He says.

You press your back into him and look up at his face. "Ya know, I'd let you-", his hand goes over your mouth.

"Alright." He laughs awkwardly and walks you outside.

You sit in your seat and just stare up out of the window. Paul pulls into your house. Your dad is gone at work, and Bella's truck isn't there.

"Is your room upstairs?" Paul asks.

"Yeah, she sure is." You wink at him.

He gets out and pulls you out of your car. You steady yourself and then bend down to take off your shoes.

"They're hurting me." You say.

Paul moves your hands and bends down. "Put your hands on my shoulders." He says.

You do as told, and he takes off your shoes. Then, he lifts you bridal style and goes into the house. He walks you up into your room and gently places you on the bed.

"Paul, don't go." You give him puppy eyes.

"Baby, I have to. I need to protect you. I always will." He touches your cheek.

You rest your face in his hand and then nod your head.

-----

You sit in the bathtub and think about how good Paul was to you last night. You embarrassed yourself, but he was so kind and gentle. You catch yourself looking at the ring on your finger.

Three knocks on the door make you jump. "Yeah?" You call out.

"Hurry up. I have to pack shit to go stay with Alice." You hear Bella call out.

But you know the plan. Her and Edward are staying at the house while everyone else does some shit. Paul has asked you to stay on his land at his house, but you refused.

"Alright, sister. Just a second!" You hurry and finish yourself up and step out. You have a towel wrapped around you and you open the door.

She jumps back and looks at you. "Sorry for interrupting. Are you going to the reservation?" She walks in and grabs her toothbrush and shit.

"Nah." You reply.

"You have to. You're in danger." Bella looks at you.

"Pookie, I stay out of shit unlike you. She wants you, not me." You scoff.

"Well, it'll make me and Paul feel better." She says.

"Fine. I'll go."

----

Paul opens his front door and guides you inside. It's so manly in here. It's clean but like.. manly. It smells like Paul. It's dark with a single lamp on.

"Where do you want your bags?" He asks, holding them up.

"Uhm, the couch." You smile.

He nods his head and gently sets them down on the cushions. "You know you're sleeping in my bed tonight. I'll be out all night. This couch isn't comfortable. I won't let you sleep here." He raises an eyebrow at you.

"Nahhhh, I'm good. I brought my pillow and blanket. I'll make due." You smile.

"Whatever you say, princess." He looks at the kitchen and then smiles. "I got your favorite snacks in there and your favorite drinks. Just make yourself at home." He steps closer to you. "And if you need anything, say my name." He says softly.

You nod your head and blush again. Noooo, why does he keep doing this?!

That night on the couch, you were tossing and turning. You couldn't get comfortable and just kept going back on your phone to watch makeup tutorials. But now you're just too tired. You give up and go into Paul's room.

You lay down on his bed and are so shocked at how comfortable and cloudy it is! You lay your head down on a pillow. Oh gosh, it smells like him. But you feel something underneath you. You pull it out and look. It's a silver necklace with a heart locket. You open the locket, and it has your first initial and a 'P'. You turn on your back and clutch it in your hand.

You jump up from a nightmare of being bitten by Miss Redhead. You're breathing hard and then get out of bed. You go into the living room and see a peaceful sleeping Paul. You gently touch his shoulder. "Paul?"

He groans and opens his eyes before sitting up. "Hey, beautiful. You okay?" He looks over you. His eyes stop at your check and you look down. The necklace.

"Yeah, just surprised you're home. I had a nightmare." You sigh.

He smiles and then pulls you on him. He holds you tightly, and it takes you back for a minute. You end up settling on his chest and feel his body on yours. You feel in the moment and close your eyes in feeling of peace and safety.

"I won't be here long. We have to go to battle." He rubs your back.

You look up at his face. "Will you be okay?"

He smiles and nods his head. "I always am. I'm Paul Lahote." He laughs.

Your eyes move from his and to his lips. He notices and starts to lean in. You back away and then stand up. "Sorry, uh." You chuckle.

"Hey, it's okay." His eyes scan you.

----

You sit on his bed, painting your nails, waiting for him to come back. Bella doesn't have her phone, but you know she's in the snow with Edward.

You're nervous as shit! You're starting to realize the more you hang out with Paul and see how sweet he is, you're falling.

You know if he's alive, he promised to be home yesterday or tonight. He didn't come yesterday. You're freaking out. You've been texting and calling Kim and Emily.

You sit back and let your nails dry. You turn on a murder mystery video on his TV. Finally, your phone rings, and you jump up, knocking your nail polish all over the bed. "Fuck!" You answer your phone. "Emily?"

"Everyone is at Billy's. Everyone is safe. Jake got hurt, but stay there, Paul will be there shortly." She says all bubbly.

Your heart skips, and you want to scream of happiness! Paul is okay and coming back. Oh yay, Bella is, too... and Edward.

You clean up all of your nail polish and wipe it down with your nail polish remover. You run to his washer and throw it in there, replacing his blanket with yours. Yeah, it's girly, but it's okay!

The door opens, and you quickly go in there. Paul.

You watch as he smiles at the ground, breathing. "It smells like you and rubbing alcohol." He finally looks up and laughs.

You squeal and jump on him. He holds onto you, chuckling and burying his face in your shoulder. You run your hands through his hair, softly gripping onto it.

"Miss me?" He asks.

"Yes." You breathe out. "Thank you for coming back." You catch yourself saying that, and you blush. He sets you down and looks at you, grabbing your face. "I spilled nail polish on your blanket. It got it off but it's in the washin-"

Paul's lips press on yours, shutting you up. You crumble in his touch and give in, kissing back. One hand grabs your waist, and the other touches the necklace he left for you. His fingers slightly graze on your collarbone. He pulls back, and you don't want him to stop. You grab his neck, pulling him down for more. He grabs your bottom to lift you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and he carries you into his bedroom.

[transchesters]

the first time sam wears a dress.

dean had been a boy from the moment he was placed into his mother’s arms as a baby, even though the doctors proclaimed otherwise. even mary knew, when she looked into her child’s eyes, that he was a boy.

and as he grew, mary was proved right. dean threw aside anything with bows or skirts, but his eyes, still filled with wonder at the time, would light up at the blue t-shirts with dinosaur print and the torn up jeans. so deanna turned to dean, and john accepted it as it was. he knew his wife, knew she wasn’t delusional. and when mary got pregnant again, the thought of another boy running around the house with little dean as an older brother filled their hearts with warmth.

maybe sam was too young for mary to know any better, to know that her second son was actually her only daughter. maybe if she had lived past sam’s six-month birthday, she would have dressed her in the little dresses dean had detested.

but mary was dead, and john didn’t care what the hell his boys’ thought. what mattered was raising two hunters, trained to take down the things that ruined their lives. and sam picked up on that at a young age, and kept the deepest parts of herself, *to* herself. all she knew was her older brother and her father; she never got a chance to see any femininity in her life. her life, which for as long as she remembered, was guns and training and learning all the lore.

now, sam is fourteen. now, she is curious about the girls she meets at one school or the other, all with long hair and pretty skirts and colored eyelids. now, sam doesn’t know what’s wrong with her and why she longs for those things.

dean had been out on a supply run with their father, leaving sam to study or do whatever reclusive nerds do in their free time. sam was told to stay home by both dean and john, and they expected her to do exactly that considering most of the time, she was a perfect, obedient son. but could you blame her for wanting a bit more? to want to explore her curiosities and find out what they mean?

so she went to the local thrift shop in their current, rundown town. just to look, that’s all! that’s at least what she told herself as she walked inside and made a beeline for the women’s section.

sam felt close to panicking as she yanks a pale green dress from the racks and rushes over to the cashier. she offers some vague comment that it’s *”for my sister,”* and quickly paid and rushed back to the motel.

it’s late when dean and john return. john retires to his own room immediately, grabbing a beer and bottle of whiskey on the way. he leaves dean to unload supplies and tuck them away wherever they belong in the impala, before he’s shambling into his shared room with sam.

sam, who is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing intently at herself, turning this way and that to watch the flowy dress twirl around her. she’s so lost in her mind that she doesn’t look up until dean slams the door shut, staring at her with wide eyes.

“dean! i-i, uh, i was just-” sam rambles, stumbling over her words as she quickly yanks the dress over her head, balling it up and holding it behind her as if dean will forget she was ever wearing it. “i just thought it was cool, it’s nothing, i swear! please— please don’t tell dad.”

dean feels stupid very suddenly. has he been ignoring obvious signs, similar to ones he showed when he was yonguer? a well of grief opens up within him, one he has worked very hard on squashing into a tiny ball and shoving it in the back of his mind. he misses his mother, and wishes desperately that she were here to help him say the right things.

the look on dean’s face is unreadable as all of this passes through his mind, at least until he remembers to soften it. until he offers sammy a smile. “it’s cool. i get it.”

the words do nothing to quell sam's panic. she shuffles out of the bathroom, keeping the dress clutched tightly behind her as if revealing it to dean would incite some unknowable rage. she is already the freak of the family, the one who wants nothing to do with the guns and the hunting and the moving town to town. and now, she’s a boy who wears dresses. she doesn’s even have the vocabulary to express the fact that she doesn’t feel like a boy at all!

“i'll get rid of it,” she mutters, shoving it under her bed, scrambling to grab one of dean's hand-me-down shirts and pulling it on.

“sammy. it's okay.” dean steps foward as his words still seem to do nothing. he grabs sam's shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “stay,” he states, before he takes a step back and begins to pull off his shirt. sam's face is screwed up, a mixture of confusion and distress, but watches nonetheless as dean drops his shirt to the side, revealing his chest, wrapped in the bandages from their first aid kits as usual.

“i guess i never really explained this to you,” dean mumbles under his breath, scratching at the bandages which make his whole upper body ache, but make his skin crawl when they aren't there. sam fidgets uncomfortably as she stands before her brother, shifting from foot to foot. she doesn't understand what he means, and he *hates* not understanding.

“can we just drop it, please?” she whines, averting her eyes as suddenly, dean begins tugging the bandages from his chest.

“look at me, dumbass,” dean grits out, because he doesn't have the words to explain this any better than just showing sammy.

maybe if things were different. maybe if mary was still here, they would have learned about this together. and when sam finally felt like sharing how she felt, they would be able to explain it to her together.

but mary is dead, and dean doesn't know what he is or what sam is other than winchesters'.

sam lifts her eyes finally when dean tells her to, and it's like she's seeing his brother for the first time. sure, she has seen dean naked before. they've shared a room forever, lived in impossibly small quarters, sometimes just the impala's backseat when john was too tired or drunk to find them a place. dean’s chest was different than his own, but he had never really thought about it. dean was a boy, and sam was a boy, and he never knew anything other than that.

until now.

sam’s eyes well up with tears as she finally understands. she and her brother are the same, yet different. she understands, and she feels understood, and it's so entirely overwhelming that she can't help but sniffle and wipe at her wet eyes.

dean rolls his eyes, his cheeks heating up as he yanks his shirt back on. “knock it off, sammy,” he grumbles, but there is a note of fondness in his voice he can't help. “it's fine. we'll deal with it.”

they both know it's going to suck. dean was lucky to look boyish enough that he passed pretty well. under his dad's big jacket and his oversized, thrifted clothes, no one questioned him. but sam thinks it won't be quite the same for her. and what is she supposed to tell her dad?!

perhaps those are questions for another time.

when sam pulls the dress back on under her big shirt and crawls into bed that way, dean doesn't say anything. when dean wraps his chest again, sam looks away. she wonders if the bruises lining his sides hurt. she wonders why their bodies are the way they are, both itching for the other's skin. why must sam’s chest concave when dean wants nothing but a falt chest? why must dean hide curved hips under baggy jeans when sam wishes she had anything besides her stick-like figure?

the sibilings go to sleep, a little more in tune with the other, and a little bit sadder for the other.

[holylulusworld]

Designed by pain (13)

Summary: Broken hearts are hard to put back together. 8 years ago, Dean lost something he didn’t even know he had in the first place. Will he get a second chance?

Pairing: former AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, past break-up, arguments, daddy Dean, angry reader, Mary being a bitch

A/N: This was an alternative idea for the first chapter of my Bucky story: Monster-in-law masterlist. I decided to use it for a story with Dean.

Designed by pain masterlist

Designed by pain (12)

“Did you pack everything, Michael?” You lovingly run your hand over your son’s head. Moving back to the States won’t be easy. It will be a hard piece of work to leave your old life yet again.

Nothing is ever easy with Dean Winchester in your life. He’s like a tornado coming into your life to turn everything upside down.

“Can we stay with Dad and Uncle Sammy? Dean told me so much about his home and Baby! Mommy, he’s got an Impala called Baby and…” He trails off, suddenly falling silent. “Sorry, mommy. You already know that.”

“It’s alright, baby boy.” You softly kiss the top of his head. “Have a look around your room. We don’t want to miss something. We will stay for at least a week or two, okay.”

“Hmmm…okay.” He nods before running off to his room to check if he forgot something.

“Uh-do you really want to meet up with Bobby for a job?” Sam pokes his head inside the living room. “Maybe you can fix things with Ketch, or at least find a new, and better position here, the UK.”

“One could believe that you don’t want Y/N to come with us,” Dean grunts while his brother tries to make sure you’re not making a hasty decision. “She wants to meet up with Bobby. You like Bobby. He’s a good man and an even better employer. If she wants to work for him, it’s none of your business.”

“Guys, can you not fight? I had a lot to prepare before our flight. You are still butting heads like kids,” you snort when Dean gives his brother the stinky eyes. He purses his lips and wildly gestures at your tits. “Dean, my eyes a little higher.”

“I didn’t point at your boobs,” he says but glances at your cleavage. Dean hums, and subconsciously licks his lips. “Even though, they are nice to look at.”

“Dude,” Sam huffs. “Seriously?”

“What?” Dean shrugs. “It’s the truth. Now, back to packing things. Do you need more, sweetheart? I can get some boxes and pack everything up.” He grins, giving you puppy dog eyes.

Sam tries to stop his brother from saying something making you change your mind. “Dean…” He sighs. “Slow down.”

“No, Sammy. I gotta bring her away from that douche. He’s got grabby hands. I won’t let him touch her.” Dean harrumphs. He hates Arthur Ketch with passion.

“That is enough, Dean!” You grab his ear, tugging hard. Dean winces and tries to grab your wrist, but you only tug harder. “I decided to go back to the State to work for Bobby. Not yours, or anyone else’s. There’s a lot to consider and organize before I can even think of moving back to the States.”

“Can you stop fidgeting?” You watch Dean nervously shift in his seat. “Dean, the seat is more than comfortable. This is the first class.”

“How’d you pay for it?” Sam watches you get a credit card out of your purse. You smirk and toss it at him. “Is that a company card?”

“Arthur decided that he doesn’t want to let me go. He insists that I retract my two weeks’ notice. Arthur is not very mature when it comes to rejection, it seems. He told me he’ll do anything to keep me at his company.”

“So, you use the company card to pay for your flight?” Dean snickers. “I love how you think. Even better, you can be so devious.”

“I don’t think that’s legal, Y/N,” Sam, ever the lawyer throws in. “What if he takes legal action?”

“He can eat shit,” you snap at Sam. “I won’t play by his rules any longer. I’m officially on my way to discuss another deal with Bobby Singer. If I invite a few friends to join me on my flight, it’s justified.”

Dean grins proudly. He’d done the same if he was in your shoes. “No swear words in front of the kid,” he says, but chuckles. “We cannot use fecal language when Michael is around.”

You huff and lean back in your seat, closing your eyes to get some sleep. Michael is already asleep, and Sam is close to drifting off himself. Only Dean is antsy and cannot calm down. Not only because of his problem with airplanes but the fact that you are so close too.

“DADDY! We’ve missed you.” You smile when Sam’s kids run toward their father. He immediately wraps his arms around the screaming bunch to hug them. His wife, Jess, shakes your hand while you ask her if Michael can stay here for today. You don’t want to leave him in the hotel room you booked or drag him around.

Holding his kids in his arms Sam sighs. “I’ve missed you too,” he says and hugs them a little tighter. The last days made him see how lucky he truly is. He had the chance to watch his kids growing up and has the love of his life by his side.

“So, Sammy,” Dean clears his throat. “Can Michael stay here and meet his cousins? Y/N wants to talk to Bobby and mother.” He spats the last word.

Jess holds out her hand for your son. “Of course, he can stay here as long as he wants to,” she says when he takes her hand. “How about we go inside, and you can introduce yourself to your cousins, Michael?”

Sam and Jess walk inside their home with your son and their children. You watch them go with a sad expression. You and Dean could’ve had what they have. He’s a little chaotic, and sometimes a mess, but Dean has a good heart.

If only Mary didn’t manipulate your relationship back then…

“How did it go?” Dean asks when you walk out of the building of Bobby’s company. “Did you get the job? Bobby didn’t leave you hanging, right?”

“I got the job, and he will help me find a place to stay,” you tell Dean if only to stop him from asking more questions.

“I know you don’t like me much, but I can help you too. Sammy is good at house hunting, and I’m good at renovating things. You know that. We can help.”

“Dean��” sighing deeply you look at Dean. He offered to drive you around, bringing Baby on purpose. Dean wanted to bring old memories back up. “Can we just drive?”

He raises his hands in surrender and nods. “Where to now?”

“Your mother’s place,” you say, venom in your voice. If you don’t do it now, you’ll never find the courage to face the villain of your story. “I have a lot to discuss with her. And Dean…”

“Yeah?” He furrows his brows. “What can I do for you?”

“I need a ring, with a big diamond. And for you to not say a word. Leave this to me…”

Dean comes back twenty minutes later. He opens his hand to reveal the engagement ring you left behind years ago. You swallow thickly but take the ring to put it on your finger.

“What are you up to?” He asks while following you toward his mother’s house. Dean wonders if he should stop you from confronting his mother. Mary is not going to admit her mistakes or ask for forgiveness.

You smile sweetly, but there is a dangerous glimmer in your eyes. “Revenge,” you say, and grab his hand. You interlace your fingers with his and put your sweetest fake smile on.

“Knock, baby,” you coo, before Dean can chicken out. He starts to sweat but raises his fist to knock. “I will so enjoy this.”

The door opens moments later. Mary looks at her son, smiling because she believes he came back to apologize. But then, her eyes land on you. Your fingers interlaced with Dean’s.

“What are you doing here?” She spats your way. “I didn’t invite you.”

“I wanted to thank you for bringing Dean back into my life,” you let go of Dean’s hand to show off the diamond ring on your finger. “Who would’ve thought that burning the message I left to tell Dean about his unborn son would bring us back together, huh?”

You smirk, seeing the struggle on her face. “I have a grandson?” She hiccups. “No, this is impossible.”

“No,” your eyes grow cold, and you deepen your smirk. “You don’t have a grandson, and you don’t have a son any longer.” Her face falls when you step closer to look her up and down. “Pathetic. Only because your marriage was loveless you wanted to ruin what Dean and I had. What a pity we found each other again.”

“No—you won’t take him back. Not after he left you years ago.” Mary shakes her head, but you simply chuckle.

“We will rise from the ashes, stronger than before. Dean will be a good father for our son and a good husband,” you chuckle darkly. “And you can choke on the hatred and bitterness you consist of. You will never see your grandson because he doesn’t need a coldhearted bitch like you in his life.”

Mary can only watch you grab Dean’s hand to lead him back toward Baby. Your heart hammers in your chest, and you're about to cry because all the hurting hits you again. You won’t, though.

This time you walk away from Mary Winchester, your head held high…

Part 14

Tags in reblog.

[kickingitwithkirk]

Winchester’s Folly

Summary: When Dean gets into trouble John decides to hide the truth for his family

Word Count: 984

*Dark! Fic-don't continue if you are disturbed by the subject matter.

Warnings: A/B/O, dystopian au, non/con, dub/con, incest, subjugation, pandemic, mentions of nudity, physical/mental abuse, mention of collaring/leashed, sexual/slavery, rut/heat, physical altercation, death/murder conviction, show level violence, parental dominance, trafficking, branding

*Additional warnings will be added

Square filled: @spnaubingo true mates

A/N: Still working on reigning myself in, keeping each part reader-friendly length, and have no clue how many parts this will end up being.

A/N II: a few notes about designations in A/O sub-genders for this story.

Alphas-Dominant (head of the pack/family) Subordinate (obey Dominant) Breeders (rare & highly coveted by the government. Can challenge Dominant for pack/family leadership)

Omegas -Domestic (mostly wiped out by plague, few natural born left) Feral (government-supplied breeders sold commonly called O's) House O’s (3rd generation+ Feral/Dominant breed. Used as servants/sex workers) Pack (rare & highly coveted by the government)

*Divider by @firefly-graphics

*No Beta-all mistakes are mine

PART V

Dean angrily stomped down the hallway and burst into the exam room, yelling, “Do you have any idea how fucking backasswards this state is, Dad!”

John blinked in surprise. Dean rarely spoke like this towards him as a Subordinate Alpha, which meant something was very off. Sam's ignored inquiry was another red flag. “Dean, what happened?”

“Do you know what they mandate done to prove ownership of O’s?” John was about to respond when the doctor reappeared, clearly unnerved by the angry scent rolling off Dean. “I need to speak to you privately, Mr. Winchester.” John doesn’t answer them back. “Dean, you got all the paperwork squared away?”

Dean acknowledged it was complicated, shifted his focus to the doctor, staring oddly at Sam, and barked, “You’re not his type, Doc!”  John ignored Dean's outburst and ordered them to wait outside the O’s room. They walked to another exam room, shutting the door. The doctor handed him a file. “This is the reason I asked to speak privately. It concerns your sons and the O.”

John read the first page. “The O’s file is flagged in the database? It was part of a lot taken during the bust of an illegal Pack distributor, and federal law requires spaying before resale?” The doctor interrupted, “Since I just examined it, I can attest this O is still fully intact. Heaven knows how Helms got hold of it.”

Anger crossed John’s handsome features, and snarled, “That son of a bitch! Her original purchaser accused Helms of selling them misrepresented goods. No wonder that Alpha sold her so cheaply.” He flipped to the next page and continued reading.

The next thing John was aware of was that he was seated on the floor. He knew most people would find this situation impossible, but he had had too much personal experience with the unbelievable to doubt it. “Mary’s obstetrician never said anything about us having twins!”

The doctor rolled a stool over and sat down before the big Alpha. “Was her physician at a government clinic?” John affirms the question, which makes the doctor sigh. “I bet she had an amniocentesis performed.” At John's expression, they said, “Some of their OBs order testing even if the ultrasound or blood work doesn’t show anything concerning.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Money. They use it to determine the sub-gender and designation because there are those among the elite wanting specific types of newborns. And twins with designations of Pack Omega and Breeder Alpha? It would’ve created a bidding war.”

John felt his lips moving, unable to vocalize the questions spinning in his mind. He did not want to believe the information when the doctor gestured to the results in his hands.

“I’m not lying about Sam and the Omega being twins.” John shook his head. “But I saw the ultrasounds. I would have known if I had a daughter!”

“With the older equipment, they could have already loaded someone else’s tape in the machine to fool you. And were you present during delivery?” John responded negatively.

“They drugged your mate, so she won’t remember the birth to smuggle the newborns out of the hospital directly. Something must have gone wrong since they only got your daughter, but it doesn’t explain how she ended up with that illegal distributor.”

John flashes back to seeing Mary and remembers how out of it she seemed after having Sam. Later, a shorter man appeared out of nowhere when he took Dean to the nursery, holding him up to see his new brother through its large window. He doesn’t remember their conversation, but Dean’s comment about not letting the man with the spooky eyes get Sammy stuck with him.

John's voice is hoarse. “How can she be a Pack Omega? And Sam a Breeder? They don’t exist anymore!”

“We might have evolved into civilized beings but still carry our ancestors' genetic makeup.” The doctor tapped a finger against their lips, “There was a theory that the reintroduction of Wild Pack DNA could reactivate Breeder genes within certain bloodlines, which would explain why the twin turned out a Pack Omega. She is your son's true mate.”

The doctor's words, certain bloodlines-true mate, pounded like a drumbeat, repeating in his keen mind and boarding on deafening when it hit him.

All this has something to do with Mary's death too.

“As that character in Jurassic Park said, life finds a way.” The doctor looked pained. “I must report all these results to the federal authorities by law. They will request a local retainer immediately and take them into custody. But since you have a court date,” the doctor calculated by wall clock, “In roughly thirty hours. I won’t send the results until then.”

John grew suspicious. “Why delay it?”

“I may participate in this system, but I’m not heartless. I have pups myself, and I’ve just dropped a metaphorical bomb on you. If these weren’t extenuating circumstances, you’d have legal recourse against Helms.”

John nodded in acknowledgment. “Thank you. Are you obligated to tell all my pups about these findings?” The doctor replied yes but gave a pointed look, “Your party has left before I could notify them.” They paused to ponder a moment.

“Perhaps this is an unexpected blessing. The judge must accept these test results, negating your son’s conviction because now they’ve been brought together, their wolves won’t allow them to be separated easily.”

John left the office but slipped out of the clinic's rear entrance instead of returning to the exam room. He walked out of the security cameras' range and pulled out his phone, dialing a number he swore never to use again. It rang twice before answering.

“I told you to lose this number, you son of a bitch!”

“It’s about my pups.” There was silence, then, “I’m listening.” John released his held breath, “Bobby, I need your help, or I’m gonna lose them all.”

Part VI

SPN TAGS: @donnaintx @lyarr24 @flamencodiva @lassie-bird @nancymcl @spnbaby-67 @leigh70

Dean/Jensen: @thoughts-and-funnies @stoneyggirl2 @beabutterfly987 @smoothdogsgirl

Sam/Jared: @idreamofplaid

WF: @slamminmine @ladysparkles78 @deans-spinster-witch @ilovetaquitosmmmm @strawblueberrys @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

[flowers-in-your-basement]

(please read tags, this gets dark)

Dean's first kiss was with his father. That sounds bad, he knows but when he says it to himself he always wants to defend his dad.

it was late and dad was drunk and he thought that Dean was Mary. Nothing more than that. It was barely even a kiss, dry lips and the taste of alcohol.

He was ten.

It was his first, and he didn't mind. He didn't mind at all, tried to kiss back when dad first kissed him, but John pulled away.

The second time he kissed his dad it wasn't an accident. This time it was Dean's fault. Sixteen and sick, sick with unwanted lust for everything he shouldn't have, sick of the life he lived, sick of everything.

He couldn't have sam. But god did he want to.

He wanted dad and he could have that. One pill slipped into his whiskey later he did- shushing his dad as he groped him on the motel bed, reached his hand into his dad's pants.

John didn't remember.

He didn't the next time or the next. After that though- things got slippery. He liked to pretend that dad knew,why he drank with his eyes on Dean.

willingly given.

[reigningqueenofwords]

A New Pinky Promise

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Part 2 of Pinky Promise

When you announced your engagement on Christmas Eve, you couldn’t help laughing that all 4 parents reacted at the same time . Both Mary and your mother gasped “finally!”, your dad yelled “it’s about damn time!”, and John was beaming as he clapped Dean on the back saying “proud of you, son!”. Sam shook his head, chuckling. “Congrats, guys. Was wondering if this would ever happen. How long have you been seeing each other?” He asked, an amused yet curious look on his face. “Because neither of you said a thing.” He was close to both of you, and felt one of you would have mentioned it.

“Actually…” Dean laughed. “We haven’t been.” 

“I’m confused.” Your mom looked between the two of you. “What do you mean?” 

“Remember when Aunt Jody and Uncle Bobby got married? I was 10?” You asked, making her nod. “I was whining that I wouldn’t get to play with Dean all weekend.” You went on. “I asked what we would do when we were grown up and married and couldn’t play together all the time.” 

“So, I said that I just wouldn’t get married if I couldn’t play with her.” He shrugged, looking at you lovingly. 

Blushing, you continued. “Which made me suggest a pinky swear. If neither of us were married by the time we turned 25, we marry each other.” You explained easily. 

John’s eyebrows shot up at that. “You’re getting married because of a 15 year old pinky swear ?” He asked. 

“Why do you think I ‘suck’ at keeping a girlfriend?” Dean countered, making everyone look at him. 

“What?!” You blinked. “What are you talking about?” 

He rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. “It’s always been you. I just kept my fingers crossed we’d get to this point. We did.” 

Your mothers were all but melting over Dean’s confession. They were instantly talking about it between themselves, gushing over how they ‘always knew’. You tugged Dean’s arm, motioning to the kitchen, leaving Sam to chat with John and your dad. “Are you saying you always hoped that we’d get married?” You asked him once in the kitchen. 

“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged. “Been in love with you since we were 15.” He admitted before licking his lips. “Is that a bad thing?” 

Instead of answering him, you grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He froze for a moment before he started kissing you back. Your arms wrapped around his neck as one of his hands went to your lower back, the other on the back of your neck. It was your first serious kiss with him, and you felt right at home. He held you like you were the most important thing in the entire world to him. 

After a few moments, you pulled back and looked up at him. “Do you think I think it’s a bad thing?” You asked playfully, making him laugh. “I’ve been in love with you for years, too.” You moved your hand to cup his cheek. 

“Guess we should have fessed up years ago.” He sighed. “But better late than never, right?” At least now he would have you by his side for the rest of our life. “How’s about we go save Sam from our moms?” 

You grinned. “Probably a good idea.” You agreed. 

“Hey, babe.” You answered your phone as you worked on packing up another box. “I’m working on packing up the last of my things now.” 

You could hear Dean’s smile when he spoke. “Can’t wait for you to be moved in.” He had gotten the house, and your dad had already started building the treehouse in the back. “Want me to drive up and help?” 

“You don’t think me and your dad can manage?” John had offered to help and him using his truck meant you didn’t have to rent a UHaul. 

“I haven’t seen you since New Year’s and I miss you.” He half whined. 

Giggling, you shook your head. “That was two weeks ago, silly.” You reminded him. “But, if you really want to help…I won’t say no.” You caved. “Your dad is driving up tomorrow, and by tomorrow night I will officially be living with you.” 

“Can’t fucking wait!” He had been counting the days. “I was hoping I could take you on a date tomorrow night?” In his mind, he had years of dates to make up for. 

“How about tomorrow we order a pizza and relax. We can go on one the day after. I’m just going to want to lounge after moving and driving.” You suggested. “I’ll even make sure I know where my cutest little dress is to wear.” 

He groaned lightly. “You are killing me, sweetheart.” 

“So, I shouldn’t mention that I like to sleep in nothing but a baggy shirt?” You teased, enjoying this. “Or maybe a tank and some comfy underwear?”

“You are mean .” He gasped. “And here I am, sleeping all alone tonight. Now I’m gonna be thinking of that.” 

“I could mention the tattoo I have that you’ve never seen.” You cracked up when you heard him trip. “Be careful!” You warned him. 

“Can you blame me? Putting all these thoughts in my head.” He defended himself. “I miss when you just made fun of my voice cracking.” 

You bit your lip at that. “Would a picture make it all better?” You flirted. 

There was a moment of silence. “Of the tattoo? Or just you? I mean, I’d be happy with anything my hot fiance sent me.” He flirted right back. 

“Alright, give me a second…” You moved to your bedroom where your full length mirror was. You were in a shirt you’d swiped from him over Christmas and a pair of lounge shorts. “Sent.” You told him after you snapped a picture of you posing for him. 

“God damn, sweetheart.” He whistled. “Is that my AC/DC shirt?” He laughed. “I thought I left that at my parent’s house!” 

“I swiped it to sleep in.” You admitted, sitting on the end of your bed. “All my friends are telling me I need to write a book and base it on us because we’re ‘so damn cute’, and our story is ‘envy inducing’.” You giggled.

“Hey, if you want to become some famous romance author, I’m all for it. Just don’t make my character look like Fabio on the cover.” He told you. “That’s Sam.” 

Laughing, you flopped back on the bed. “Deal.” 

Wedding planning, while a bit stressful at times, was nowhere near as bad as movies made it out to be. You and Dean planned on getting married December 23rd, exactly one year from when he proposed. You’d be getting married in your parents backyard, and planned to get some pictures in the treehouse. You didn’t care that you’d have to climb up the ladder in your dress, or that it would be cold doing so. That treehouse held a lot of important memories for the two of you. 

Then, the reception would be at a local hotel. It would be your parents, Dean’s family, your Aunt Jody, your Uncle Bobby, and a few friends that you and Dean shared. Some couldn’t make it because it was so close to Christmas, and you understood. Which was why the friends that couldn’t make it would get a DVD of it. You’d hired a photographer and a videographer to make sure every memory was captured. 

You, Mary, your mother, your Aunt Jody, and a couple of your friends went dress shopping the first week in July. You hadn’t wanted the ‘princess’ type dress for yourself, if you were being honest…until two weeks before that. 

“Dean, I don’t need something big and fancy.” You assured him as the two of you worked on picking out a design for the cake. “It’s not a huge wedding, and we’re not fancy people.” 

Dean gave you a bored look. “You deserve to feel like a princess on our wedding day, because you’ll be one.” He told you, pointing once again to a fancy cake. 

You leaned over and pecked his lips. “You make me feel like a princess every day.” You smiled. “But if you feel that way, how about we compromise? You can pick the decorations, but I get to pick the cake size.” You offered, feeling that was fair. 

“Deal.” He beamed. 

“I thought you wanted something more simple?” Your mother asked as you tried on your first dress. 

You looked over your shoulder at her. “Because that’s what Dean thinks I want, too.” You smirked. “He said that I deserve to feel like a princess on our wedding day. I know him. That means he wants to see me look like one. So, I’m surprising him. I’m going to find a princess dress I like.” You told her, looking into the mirror again.

“He’s going to think you look beautiful no matter what you wear.” Mary promised you. 

“I know.” You told her. “But I’m sure I can find a princess type dress that doesn’t make me feel like I’m wearing a costume.” 

The woman helping you perked up. “I have just the dress in mind!” She beamed. “I’ll be right back!” She said before rushing off. 

“She looked very excited.” You mused. “I’m eager to see what she comes back with.” 

The dress she showed you was perfect . You’d tried it on and couldn’t help but tear up. Mary paid for it, a present from her and John. 

Every decision made, and every fee paid made everything feel so much more real. And made you that much more excited for the future. Walking into your bedroom one night, you paused and watched Dean for a moment. He was reading a book, and moving his lips as he did. The only time he did that was when he spaced out and needed to reread a paragraph. You thought it was adorable. “Hey, Dean?” You started, moving to crawl up the bed. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” He answered, looking up from his book. Seeing you moving towards him, he smirked and put down his book. “If you want what I think you want, the answer is hell yes.” 

Wiggling your eyebrows, you sat back on your feet. “We’re about to finally fulfill our pinky promise.” You said happily. 

His face lit up at that. “One week!” He got excited. 

“I propose a new pinky promise.” You said softly, reaching for his hand. 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” He was curious as he held your hand in his. 

You were nervous, but pushed on. “How about we pinky promise to have our first baby in the next couple years?” Your heart was pounding in your chest. 

His eyes sparkled as he lifted his other hand, holding out his pinky. “I pinky promise that we will have our first kid sooner rather than later.” 

Looping your pinky with his, you laughed as tugged you towards him. “When would sooner be for you?” You asked, wondering if he had a time frame. 

Dean pretended to think. “How’s about nine months from now?” 

[sinner-sunflower]

SPN Sinister AU

You guys know the Sinister movies? With the entity that takes children, possesses them, and makes them kill their family?

I just got an idea for that but with the Winchesters.

It could be them settling down for a while in this house where a family was killed. It was abandoned and no one was there for miles so John thought it would be a good temp base for a few months.

They've been following a trail of a creature who is killing families and abducting a child from each family. John decides to take this hunt because he thinks it might be a demon and related to Mary's death. They've finally caught up to the killings to this no name town in the middle of bumfuck, USA. He enrols Sam and Dean to school and takes a part time job as a mechanic for the time being.

While left alone at the house, Sam finds a box of films in the attic, each with their own seemingly innocent titles.

Logically, he knows he should tell Dean or his dad about this, but next thing he knows, he's putting it in the projector and watching the first film.

It's disturbing and terrifying but he couldn't turn it off. He almost vomited twice before it finished.

He's not stupid. This has got to be related to the thing his dad is hunting. He needs to show this to Dad. He can save people with this.

.

Dean and Dad came home, the box stayed in the attic. (And he keeps watching the rest of the tapes)

Sam gets nightmares and constant night terrors. Dean is beyond worried and John has a bad feeling.

Sam gets moody. He snaps at Dad but that's normal, but then he also snaps at Dean. He says stuff to Dean like the urge to hurt the annoying squirrel in the backyard. Dean sticks to him like glue because he has a sinking feeling.

Sam won't eat, drink, sleep. He scribbles concerning signs and symbols on the walls and looks a little too long at their arsenal.

They still haven't got a clue on what this creature is but there's not doubt in their minds that it's what's messing with Sam.

It gets so bad that John decided to abandon this hunt and let someone else take care of it for the safety of his son.

They leave first thing in the morning.

Settling down on one of Rufus' many cabins across the country, Sam begins to show signs of health again.

Dean is beyond relieved and John is just tired.

One night, he's in his room, head in hands and documents all over the desk. Dean and Sam are in the living room watching a movie. He was taking a sip of his coffee when his phone rang.

Bobby.

He picks up to a frantic Bobby and the roar of an engine.

"It's Bughuul! Babylonian pagan ancient deity, like really ancient! It consumes souls of children!"

"Figured as much Bobby. Took the boys outta there as soon as I found out."

"You don't understand, John! That's the problem. You moved!"

"What?"

"The patterns! Each of the families experienced shit in the previous victims' homes but the killings only happened when they moved! I'm almost there but you didn't save them John! You moved up the timeline!"

Suddenly John felt a wave of dizziness. He looks at his coffee and finds a strange liquid in it. He shoots up, staggering out of the room to where his sons were.

He finds Dean passed out on the floor, movie still playing, but no Sam?

He falls to the ground and sees his youngest's bare feed and pajamas in front of him. Then nothing.

John wakes bound by ropes. He's laying on his back to something hard, wood?

He looks around and sees Dean in the same position, awake and freaking out.

"Dad! What the fuck is going on?!"

Now that he can see Dean fully, he knows now in what kind of position they are.

'A Hunter's funeral pyre.'

"Dad! Where's Sammy??!"

"Dean, it's the thing we were hunting. It got Sammy possessed. We need to get out of here now before he kills us."

"It got Sam?! What- before who kills us?!"

Sam then comes out pointing camera at them, Bughuul behind him looking at them menacingly.

Dean is shouting for Sam but his brother is under the creature's control. They're both flailing now and John only hopes Bobby arrives on time and finds them.

Sam puts down the camera to pour gasoline of their pyres.

"Sam! Sammy please snap out of it!"

"Shit!"

Sam lights a match.

But before he could throw it to set them aflame, Bobby arrives and hit him in the head, making him fall unconscious to the ground.

----------

Not really sure how this will end cos the movies never killed Bughuul. But this is Bobby so he might find an obscure exorcism or smth and expels the hold on Sam.

[pompyoly]

Redacted Headcannons pt 2

As Gavin and FL get older, Gavin alternates his appearance to make it seem like he is aging too(he knows FL is gonna die someday he just won’t accept it)

Sam thinks about what could happen after he and Darlin left the house of Solaire

Gavin, Asher, and Guy sometimes wear croptops and paint their nails

Huxley doesn’t work out he’s just naturally buff, but he does drink protein shakes or smoothies and go on morning runs

All of the D.A.M.N. crew is used to Gavin making out with FL anytime anywhere

Darlin sometimes gets scars that they don’t even know about until Sam points out that he can smell the blood on them

Milo had a mullet but decided to cut it after he accidentally cut too much off(he wore a beanie until it grew back close enough to make it into a mullet

Darlin is academically smart, but people’s opinions about them cause them to lash out and make bad decisions

Gavin has an incubus mark on his lower abdomen

Darlin would often avoid hangouts with the wolf pack due to feeling unwanted

Cutie felt conflicted and confused when Geordi got mad at them for reading his mind, causing them to stop using their powers when Geordi left

Porter stares at Treasure when they sleep not in a creepy way but more of an admiring type of way

Milo snaps at sweetheart but always feels bad and apologizes after especially when he’s not mad at them(he can tell when he goes too far when their aura changes a different color)

Lovely and Vincent play hide and seek in the woods(it drives Vincent’s primal instincts, making it more fun)

Darlin isn’t good with kids they don’t hate them they just aren’t used to being around them(the kids in the pack think they’re cool and berates them with questions)

Freelancer always includes coworker whenever the D.A.M.N. crew hang out no matter what they’re doing

Sam gives advice that he learned growing up in the South (he often gets looked at like he’s crazy but the advice does work)

Darlin's parents were in the pack but got banished due to abuse towards Darlin, who later got adopted by Gabe and Mrs. Shaw

Guy laughs about things at the worst times, and Honey hits him to try and get him to stop even though they think it’s funny too

Baabe helps Asher dye his hair, even helping him cut it if it gets long enough

Darlin and Asher are naturally fast even without their werewolf abilities

Milo and Darlin don’t wanna get married(they don’t care about traditional marriages, but they do have promise rings)

Darlin tilts their heads, and death stares at Alexis whenever she’s around(they have thought about just punching her and dealing with the consequences later but never acted on it due to Sam and David telling them to "behave"

FL celebrates Xavier’s birthday with Huxley

Sweetheart's dad worked in the department and died on the job, sweetheart carries a picture of him in their car

Asher only eats puffy chips and refuses to eat anything else

Sweetheart has a model walk with top tier fashion taste(they hate the color orange on clothes)

Micheal once asked Angel if they could try and get back together, and David stopped him before he could even finish his sentence(Micheal fumbled HARD)

Milo’s father hates interspecies only accepting sweetheart for the sake of Milo but once got into an argument with Darlin over Sam(Marie apologized on his behalf, and Darlin and her have a good relationship)

Damien got confused when FL accidentally mentioned Caelum, and FL just told him that he was a friend of theirs and Gavin’s(Caelums their adopted son)

Darlin has a fear of abandonment they had a panic attack the first time Sam and them got into a serious argument about Darlins recklessness

[according2thelore]

Uuuuuuuuu

I've been seeing alot of omegaverse asks,

If you don't mind, what are your thoughts on Alpha!Souless Sam?

Since Souless!Sam runs purely on apathetic logic, would he feel entitled to O!Dean as per his Alpha instinct or would he simple default on logic? (Because being reliant on his Alpha instinct serves no actual purpose in irl)

(Like, if he wants some action, he could just go to the nearest bar/corner and get his fix, why does he need Dean for anyway?)

hi!!!!

i cannot even express to you how excited i am to talk about this!!!!

in general, i think while a kind of detatched logic would pervade his attitude towards dean, soulless!sam has been established to be somewhat of a hedonist.

he pays for sex, he takes advantage of it whenever and wherever he can, even if it gets in the way of a case (e.g., the fairy/ufo episode). instead of picking an innocuous convenient car, he picks a flashy new model with nice amenities. he pushes sam's body into extremes of physical fitness despite it not being strictly necessary for his lifestyle.

so i think a lot of his interactions with an omega!dean would be ruled by...well...his dick. and what he thinks he's entitled to.

honestly i can see this going a lot of ways, and will discuss all of them now, lol!

path one: dean lets sam mate him as soon as he gets back

in this path, dean probably begged sam to mate him before sam jumped into the cage, but sam said no. he knew what it would do to dean, so he refused.

but as soon as dean wakes up in that shack, and sam is rightthererightthererightthere, dean is on him and they probably go at it absolutely ferocious style in that ramshackle lean-to, and dean is dripping wet and freaking out because he absolutely thinks he's dead and this is heaven.

he begs sam to mate him, and sam thinks, all-in-all, it'll probably be convenient to be able to have more of a handle on dean, whom he knows is a bit of a wild card.

in this one (assuming we're going with mating bites can communicate some kind of emotion/sense of self), the mating bite hurts. it's fucking agony, because dean is flooding sam with so much raw hurt, relief, joy, and lovelovelove and dean is getting NOTHING back.

dean has heard all this stuff about mating bites from other omegas, and from his dad especially, who when he was drunk would describe how empty his mind feels after mary died.

and this...kind of feels like that. it's no fucking fairytale, but dean doesn't need a fairytale, he needs sam, so he can deal with the rest.

he thinks so, anyway.

because sam doesn't sleep. and dean never feels anything from their bond at all. dean thinks maybe he's suppressing parts of it due to trauma, so he's even more freaked out when sam shrugs him off like 'hell wasn't even that big of a deal...so...don't remember anything ig want to get hot dogs?'

sex with sam is...empty. sam throws him around like an alpha would and only takes him from behind in a proper mating position and leaves right after.

it's like sam is reciting textbook steps on how alphas are supposed to be, and none of it is dean's little brother.

for probably the first time in dean's whole fucking life, he refuses sex. and sam...doesn't even care. he shrugs when dean finally fights him off, and goes out to a bar.

having dean's emotions so readily available is really fucking annoying for sam, but at least he can know when dean is suspicious of him. he can approximate an appropriate response when dean is feeling sad or hurt or betrayed. it takes a lot of the guesswork out of dean's reactions to things, which is helpful.

but a cunt is a cunt, and sam can fulfill his needs elsewhere.

sam would probably find it interesting when he cheats on dean. he can feel the physiological changes that come with a mating bond shattering, and picks at the open wound of his mating bite with the cool assessment of someone pulling off dragonfly wings.

he doesn't feel the agony that comes with it, of course, just the twangs in his chest, the weird chanting in his brain that this is wrongwrongwrongnotmatenotmatenothimhimhimhim

while dean is writhing back at the motel, throwing up so hard he feels like his teeth are going to fall out, sweating through his shirts and ripping at his hair just to get this thing GONE.

he knows exactly what sam is doing. knows that the thing in his brother is snapping the tethers in his mind, can almost feel the way sam's hips are slamming into some anonymous body miles away.

(secretly, in my head, i like to think that sam actually offers dean up to some locals for a night in exchange for information because he literally owns this bitch and sam knows he's not getting dick from anywhere else. the only reason it doesn't work is because the bartender gets so furious he kicks sam out and when dean comes running out like hey man what happened, sam just shrugs and says the other guys tried to start a fight.)

path two: they were mated the whole time

in this one, dean's barely alive. whether he convinced sam to mate him in the week leading up to the cage, or they were mated as soon as dean got back from hell, they're together.

which means that when sam died at the cemetery, dean's been a shell of a person for a year. he shows up on lisa's doorstep as practically a dead man, the snapped mating bond tearing his psyche into ribbons.

when sam practically kidnaps him, dean collapses into him, completely and utterly and completely at peace for the first time in a year and change. he can't believe it. his mate--his brother--is back back back back back. it's like being let above ground after a year of being chained to a rock in a cave, and dean gulps down breaths of fresh air greedily.

something's...not right, of course. sam probably takes dean to bed that night and bites on the bond, and it doesn't feel...right. not like when sam gave it to him.

i think in this scenario, sam looks at dean a lot more like property than he would otherwise. he orders him to do things. he snaps at him quick. he doesn't like that dean doesn't do what he says.

and, unfortunately, i think this would probably translate into more violent things. dean is sam's omega. his only job is to be a hole, why doesn't he fucking get it?

i think this is how dean would primarily know something is wrong with sam. sam treats him like a fleshlight. he treats dean like every knothead from here to alaska has always treated omegas like dean.

i think sam would eventually logic his way into dean not being worth the fight. if his omega has moved on, sam should too. he starts sleeping around, and we end up in the same position we do in path one.

i also think sam's alpha instinct in this scenario would irritate him the most, because it's the deepest, and he's had it the longest. he can't feel the fury that dean being hurt would usually inspire, but he feels antsy like a bodily need isn't being met.

sam's probably also the least physically satisfied in this pathway, as the line between emotional and physical satisfaction is inextricably linked through the mating bond.

when this one breaks, it's a physiological nightmare. sam doesn't understand why he sometimes passes out in the middle of the day, why he can't force his brain to focus, why his body is stuck in a constant fight-or-flight. he feels the constant need to hover over dean, so he over-corrects by avoiding him as much as possible, leaving dean to mourn a ten-year-bond completely alone. dean is a walking corpse again, deadly and furious and devastated.

he won't let sam near him for almost a year after sam gets his soul back, and the emotion of the returned soul breaks sam in half when the broken bond registers.

so not only has sam essentially been raped by his body, his one tenuous link to sanity has been severed. stone number one is their first conversation where dean touches him, and sam completely collapses. he falls at dean's feet a cries and cries and cries.

path three: they were never mated, and they don't mate

this is probably the one with the least consequences for them both, so i personally think it's the least fun, but let's still talk about it!

they can still absolutely be having non-mated sex. if this happens, sam might try to manipulate dean into mating, just so he can have that insight into dean's emotions/reactions as i mentioned in path one.

it's a chess move, but dean probably mistakes it at first as being territorial since dean just spent a year with lisa and ben. he's probably a little flattered, until sam says something "off" about it. sam also kind of presents it like getting food from burger king instead of mcdonalds. like "we can mate tonight if you like? or we can try tomorrow if you're tired."

and sam, who at age 12 tried literally biting the hand off of an alpha that cornered dean in a gas station, would literally never ask something like this, dean is like hm....something is wrong here...

sam still absolutely sleeps around, maybe even just because dean is in the shower and sam is horny. dean can't feel it per se, but smells other omegas on him.

as the season goes on, sam gets less and less interested in dean, and barely reacts at all when dean is threatened or upset or harassed by alphas in public.

or, if their feelings are still in Repression Mode, and they are, for all intents and purposes, two regular brothers, sam still gets annoyed when dean doesn't fall over to his commands.

as you mentioned, anon, alpha instinct has no logical purpose, but hierarchy does.

he remembers that dean would obey dad's orders, and as the now reigning family alpha, expects obedience. maybe this gets violent, maybe it doesn't, but he doesn't take kindly to some omega trying to get a rise out of him.

it's never to the point where sam goes, like, alpha rage, because that's not what he's about. it's annoying that a hole thinks he knows better than sam does. but if a fight doesn't fix it (i'm talking WWE smack-down full-tilt fight) then sam shrugs it off. the hole has a nice ass. and eyes that make something in sam feel...off. like the feeling of almost sneezing but not quite being able to manage it. something should be happening, for sure, but...nothing ever does.

you probably weren't looking for a 1.7k word, multi-focal analysis of how i think their established and continuing relationship dynamics would affect them but uhhh...here we go?

thank you so much for this ask, anon!!! this was super interesting and fun to think about! <3 mwah!!!!

i hope you found it fun to read :)

-lizzy

[crocwork-clockodile]

So, it's been over a month now since I actually finished Night Watch and I did mean to write another post about my final thoughts. But in my defense, I was moving provinces and starting grad school up again. But anyway! On to a few of my thoughts:

Warning for spoilers, I suppose

Firstly, oh my gosh, it made me cry. It made me so sentimental, in the way only Pratchett seems to do to me. Probably more so, since this was my dad's first Discworld novel, and I wouldn't have read any of them if not for him. I just felt very emotional about finishing it. I mean, having read Thud! before already, I knew in my heart that Vimes would be okay. I knew he'd make it back and that Sybil would be able to safely deliver Young Sam, but that whole thing at the end, where it's looking dicey and he has to call on Dr. Lawn and then their son gets named after Sam, but maybe not even this version of Sam, it just made my heart swell. Vimes will continue to nurture and care about this child, and allow him to maintain his optimism, in the way he was kind of doing for the Young Sam that he just trained up during the Glorious Revloution!!!! Cycles!!!! My favourite literary device!!!

I kinda liked how Lord Winder died. Just literally scared to death by his own paranoia. The Assassin didn't even have to do anything but look Assassin-y.

One thing that really impressed me about Vimes, after they take down Bloody Mary, is how he thinks about everything in how a city functions. Like Vetinari, in that way. This isn't a musical, this is a real thing that's happening in a real city, but the commerce and functions of the city that aren't concerned with Ankh-Morpork politics are still trying to happen. Things don't just pause. You need to be organized and think about how these things work. I'm impressed with this mostly because I know I'm bad at planning for things like that and forgetting about necessary things until I need them and don't have them lol.

On that note, Reg Shoe. Darling, idealistic, Revolutionary Reg. He is so so earnest and I genuinely think he really wants that ideal world for everyone, but again, he is so bad at planning the mundane-but-critical background stuff. Beloved, you should be at the club.* It's kinda gratifying to learn he was always so annoyingly idealistic and community-minded. I knew he'd make it out (kinda) okay, but oof, his death (however temporary) still hurt my heart

I think that's the majority of all my thoughts for right now. Sam Vimes is still one of my greatest, dearest blorbos. I finally know why we wear lilacs on May 25th. Now I was there, and I knew them, and I can advocate for Freedom, Truth, Justice, Reasonably-Priced Love, and a Hard Boiled Egg.

GNU Terry Pratchett

[darkshrimpemotions]

One thing I can't let go is people trying to claim Dean didn't have any mommy issues until the writers "shoehorned" them in to make the Mary resurrection arc work. Like did we even watch the same show??? You can see that man's mommy issues from SPACE.

Like yes, his daddy issues are closer to the surface and a result of active fuck-ups rather than total absence, but the mommy issues are still very much there. Starting with being forced to become her substitute at the age of four and ending with being lowkey despised by his dad for being kind of good at it! Just the simple fact that he's never made any sort of peace with her death qualifies, but it's far from the only issue Dean has around his mother.

As far back as season 2, enemies and his subconscious LOVE to dangle specters of Mary in front of him. The djinn in 2x20 What Is And What Should Never Be, for example, primarily uses Mary to keep Dean compliant. John is dead in the dream. Dean and Sam appear to have a strained relationship. But Dean is close to Mary.

Or consider Dean's first journey back to the 70s in 4x03 In The Beginning. Of course that journey served one purpose, as stated by Castiel, of catching Dean up on what Azazel actually did to Sam. But it also served Heaven's secondary purpose of beginning to drive a wedge between Sam and Dean, primarily using Mary to do so. Partly by having Dean witness all of this alone, and giving him yet another personal tie to Mary that Sam lacks. But also attempting to tie Mary's death more securely to Sam in Dean's mind, and establish Sam as tainted from the beginning to weaken Dean's sense of brotherly love and obligation.

This latter, of course, didn't work, but that they made the attempt at all speaks volumes IMO. If Dean didn't have any issues around Mary, she wouldn't be such a handy lever for antagonists to pull. Dean's desperation to save Mary in this episode is so directly tied to Dean's lifetime of trauma, his idea that the weight of the whole world rests on his shoulders, and his abandonment issues. His conversation with Castiel in this episode even explicitly confirms this: should he succeed in undoing Mary's death, he will undo his entire life up to this point. He knows this, and it isn't a bug in his plan, it's a feature.

In Dean's mind, everything that has ever been wrong in his life stems from this one moment. Mary's death. If he can fix that, he can fix everything. If he saves Mary, he can save John, save Sam, hell maybe the entire world while he's at it. And buried much deeper: if he saves Mary, maybe he can fix himself. Remember, at this point Dean is freshly returned from Hell. He feels broken, in brand new and terrible ways. But maybe, if he saves his mom, whatever it is in him that's wrong gets fixed. Maybe it never breaks at all.

The fact that he tries again in 5x13 The Song Remains the Same, even knowing already that it won't work based on his previous experience, is just heartbreaking. There's still a four-year-old child in Dean's heart, holding his baby brother as he watches his childhood home burn down. He's so fixated on that night and the life he might have had without it. Even knowing that the dominoes that wrecked their lives started falling long before that, it's still all about that night for him.

Then of course, we have 5x16 Dark Side of the Moon just three episodes later. We first see Mary in Heaven in their old home's kitchen making Dean a pie, then getting an upsetting call from John. Echoes of abandonment permeate the scene as Dean comforts her and promises to never leave her. Dean knows even as he says it that they had very little time left together by the time this memory happened, and knows too that he will have to leave her soon as they try to find their way out of this maze of memories. These echoes are brought home when, in the next scene with Mary, Dean attempts to leave her only to have the illusion turn harsh and cold, taunting him with the idea that he was the one that was left.

"I never loved you," she taunts him. "You were my burden. I was shackled to you. And look what it got me."

"I was dead. The one silver lining was that at least I was away from you. Everybody leaves you, Dean. You noticed? Mommy. Sweetheart. Even Sam. You ever ask yourself why? Maybe it’s not them. Maybe, it’s you."

And there it is. Underneath the grief over Mary's death, the missing her, the inability to accept any life that he could have because it won't be the life he would have had if she never died...the feeling, that he beats himself up over, that she left him. Not died. Left him. Abandoned him. Deep down, a part of him feels like his mom left him. That her dying was an act of abandonment, a betrayal. And he CANNOT look directly at it, because that feels like a betrayal in itself, of the memories he has of the loving mother who tucked him in at night and sang him "Hey Jude" instead of a lullaby and made him soup when he was sick.

And buried even deeper: the fear that she never wanted him in the first place.

Dean's issues with Mary go so far beyond "simple" grief at losing her. Mary is at the root of all his other issues, all tangled around her and the night she died. Exacerbated, even actively cultivated, no doubt, by John's A+ parenting. But Dean's hazy memory of Mary, the loss of her, and his fixation on that loss are at the core of his fear of abandonment, his lack of self-worth, and his feeling that he has to save everyone. As well as his deep fear that the thing wrong with his life isn't some childhood trauma or hunting or his dad, or even his time in Hell. But that it's just him, and has been all along.

That's why the resurrection arc works so well. With Mary back from the dead, Dean is forced to confront the feelings of abandonment he pushed aside in favor of preserving her memory. When she fails to live up to that memory, it catalyzes that confrontation even further. He doesn't blame Mary for everything that happened to him and Sam because she's actually to blame. He blames Mary because, deep down, her death has always been the root of everything else in his mind. The one thing that, if he could only fix it, he could fix everything else as well. And seeing living proof in front of him that this isn't true just forces him to face everything he's buried his entire life. Forces him to actually confront the mommy issues at last. And it hurts, and it sucks, but like I said in my other post. It was so necessary.

[ananke-xiii]

Missing Mothers and Missed Opportunities

Or: There can be three, four fathers in this show but there can only be one mother (and she doesn’t even want to be there, lol)!

One way that I like to see the first episodes of s13 is focusing on missed opportunities. Sam’s mind is in the past, he is very much ruminating about his missed opportunity with his mother while Dean’s mind is in the future as he is trying to deal with the fact that Cas is dead (although, to be honest, I think Cas’s death is a catalyst for Dean's much deeper issues related to his identity. As I’ve already said, in s12 Dean was in the process of understanding who he was regardless of his relationships and while he had some sort of reconciliation with Mary, he didn’t have any with Cas).

It’s no wonder, then, that Sam thinks that Cas and Mary might still be alive while Dean doesn’t. In Supernatural the past can come back and if it’s come back once why can’t it come back again? Past is hope. The future, however, is always “doom and gloom” in this series, it’s apocalypses, it’s “it ends bad, it ends bloody”, it is, in other words, super pessimistic. And “The Future” is impersonated in Jack and in the visions of the future he transmitted to Castiel which Dean blames for his death.

Sam is smart but it doesn’t take a genius to understand that if Jack has opened the rift once he might be able to open it again. Therefore, Sam sees in Jack an opportunity: if Jack can control and manage his powers he might open the rift again and Sam could get his mother back. What’s more, he also starts to see (what he thinks he’s) himself in Jack.

Dean: I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad. Sam: I didn’t. Dean: What? Sam: I didn’t ‘end bad’. When I was the freak, when I was drinking demon blood. Dean: Come on man, that’s totally different. Sam: Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t! You saved me! So help me save him! Dean: You deserved to be saved, he doesn’t! Sam: Yes he does, Dean, of course he does!

The “What?” shows how the two are talking about completely different things. Maybe it was the word “freak” that triggered Sam, however I tend to agree with Dean here: Sam and Jack are not “totally different” but they are different. What I disagree with is when Dean says that Jack doesn’t deserve to be saved (Dean, Dean, Dean… you, just like everybody else, don’t need to “de-serve” anything. I swear to God the day we realize what the words we use actually mean maybe the world will really start changing). Because the thing is that Jack doesn’t need to be saved. He’s not a human who drank demon blood for what he thought was “the greater good” but turned out to be the beginning of his end. He was not part of a gigantic, messy, blatant scam involving Heaven and Hell. Jack’s partially the result of both Lucifer’s delusions of grandeur regarding Creation and Kelly’s conservative and dreamy desire to have a baby with the President of the USA (he was never gonna put any ring on it, girl and you knew it. Btw, Kelly is the baby-trapper in this story and no one else, I won’t change my mind ever), but he is nevertheless one of the most powerful beings in all existence. I honestly think that the only character who has ever understood Jack was Donatello.

Donatello: Oh. Speaking not as a prophet but as a scientist, I don’t think teaching him is in the cards. It’s like asking a lion not to be a lion. Sam: But this is not a lion! This is a human! Donatello: With a strong dose of God juice.

It’s not a strong dose of demon blood, Sam. It’s God juice, okay? LOL. Anyway, Donatello is super on point here: Jack is human and not-human. He’s a living aporia, the character where all the false dichotomies of the series show their fallacies. He’s “both… and” incarnated. He’s born and he’s already in his 20s. He’s a child and he’s a not-child. He has an age and he’s without age. Nobody will ever come close to understanding him if they cling close to a “black or white, good or evil” mentality. And this is why the show totally failed (for me) in s14 and how Sam is also failing here because he projects his own (respectable and very real) Lucifer-related issues with evilness onto Jack. Jack is beyond “good and evil” because he’s both human and angel, he embodies two different moralities and also transcends both of them because he’s neither only human nor only angel. To sum up, I don’t think that Supernatural, with its structure and its specific morality, could have handled a character like Jack. And this is why the show has to de-power him, de-soul him, make him die and resurrect etc.

Back to Sam and his failings. He projects his own stuff onto Jack, he wants to use him as a “can-opener”, he thinks Jack can be saved from “evil” because he can teach him. My question is: how much can Sam be negatively judged for these actions? My answer is: not so much.

As far as projections go, this is what he’s been doing from S1. Per SPN structure, both Sam and Dean have been projecting and identifying their issues onto the monsters of the weeks for 15 seasons. Jack is just the “Monster of the Season”. Projection and identification, identification and projection… I mean, this is what the show is about. If all of sudden Sam had woken up and miraculously solved all his identity-related issues the show would have been over.

As far as the utilitarian aspect goes, Sam has actually made some progress here. He “only” surveils Jack via cameras and tries to convince him to do some stupid exercises with a pencil. Previously on Supernatural Sam had literally enslaved, chained and imprisoned the people/creatures he wanted to use. These kids, they grow up so fast :”).

As far as the “do no evil” teaching goes, now here’s what’s really interesting to me.

The episode is “The Rising Son” and Sam’s passionate plea for Jack’s goodness via his teachings is paralleled to Asmodeus’s attempt at locating Jack in order to find him and harness his “timeless knowledge and unschooled power”. Asmodeus acts like Lucifer acted with Sam in S11 in that he pushes Jack to open up the earth “for God” (“I speak the words of God”, “God has a message for you”, “Do it for God” etc). Since Lucifer’s not here, though, Asmodeus wants to “[have]him (Jack) found and trained to rule. With me as his humble advisor, of course”. Of course we know he will fail because he himself says that he had tried to train the Shedim in the past and utterly failed.

ASMODEUS: I know the perils of Lucifer’s disappointment. DREXEL: He—he did that? ASMODEUS: Long ago. Eager to please, I freed the shedim. DREXEL: You… Oh, I’ve heard stories about— ASMODEUS: Oh, I’m sure you have. Hell’s most savage. Things so dark, and base, God himself would not allow them into the light. But I, in my pride, believed that I could train them. Use them. But Lucifer feared them, as well he should, so he forbade it, locked them up again.

This, of course, means that Sam will fail to train Jack/the Shedim too.

The parallel between Asmodeus and Sam must be explored because the show seems to pass it as an Evil (Asmodeus) vs Good (Sam) training but it’s not as simple as that. There’s even a scene where Asmodeus-as-Donatello talks about Jack with Sam and he seems to agree with Sam’s theory that Jack can be molded. While Sam thinks so because “Kelly was a good person”, Asmodeus-as-Donatello is obviously more interested in his evil father’s lineage.

While it’s true that both of them don’t even consider to give Jack a choice, to ask him questions and to try to understand him, they’re not exactly wrong when they agree that Jack’s powers do need some training, regardless of why they’re interested in his powers, Jack doesn’t have a grip on how his powers work. The show insistence on “good vs evil", however, completely ignores the very valid point where Jack’s powers are simply neither good or evil per se but they are “only” a(nother) force to be reckoned with.

This “good vs evil” thing obscures something very important and I think a distinction must be made here about what "training" really means in this context: Sam wants Jack to learn to master his powers, so that he (Jack) can be in control of them; on the other hand, Asmodeus wants to exploit Jack because of his powers, he wants to be the one who’s in control of them.

Both Sam and Asmodeus have an agenda, clearly, they’re also two characters very much interested in power. But when Asmodeus says that he wants to train Jack what he really has in mind is to groom him. Asmodeus’ techniques are very similar to Crowley’s with baby Amara and Demon Dean (I know Dean was not a child but he was one metaphorically because Crowley calls himself “Father” and “daddy” while he calls Dean “a rather scrumptious altar boy”. Ugh). These are predators’ techniques: their intent is to create intimacy with a person (for instance, Asmodeus takes on Donatello’s resemblance to lure Jack and take him to the Hell’s Gate), usually a child, to make them do what they want and abuse their victims, victims who usually don’t even realize they’re victims (Jack doesn’t know he’s being manipulated).

This is NOT what Sam means when he says he can teach Jack. Sam’s utilitarian mindset can be reproachable but his intent is not the same as Asmodeus. Sure, it’s still absolutely problematic but, again, his intent is not to open up the earth to release the Shedim and use Jack to rule Hell. He wants to open the rift to the Apocalypse World to find his mother. He is, in other words, being a softer version of John Winchester. In fact, he is replicating John’s methods because this is what he grew up with and this is what he knows. Avenging Mary’s death, finding Mary in the AU… even if the intent might be comprehensible it doesn’t justify both John and Sam’s attitude towards the reaching of their ends. Yet, their ways are still not the same ways of a Crowley or an Asmodeus.

The other thing is that John was Sam’s father. He was father to two human children whom he raised as if their childhood was a huge, endless military training. Training someone, as a concept, is not evil: if you have a skill or a talent or whatever, you need to train and learn and explore your limits. Having someone who believes in you and wants to help you in your training is not evil too: in fact, it might be a very good thing. It’s a problematic thing, however, when your caregiver is more focused on the training than the care. It’s even more problematic if said caregiver is a paranoid who raised his sons as soldiers. But this is still NOT the same thing as demons such as Crowley and Asmodeus do.

The differences in "training" and what Sam fails to understand about what happened with Asmodeus is explained in "Patience":

SAM: Even with Asmodeus, that just happened?

JACK: No, he made me. It was like, like he was in my head.

SAM: Okay um, then uh… Imagine him doing that.

JACK: No!

SAM: No? Why not?

JACK: Because I don’t want to! It’s just… I can’t do this! And you keep staring at me, waiting!

Asmodeus made Jack use his powers, he was in his head. He had also abducted him, manipulated him: he wasn't trying to train him, he was trying to groom him. Of course Jack doesn't want that.

If Sam is replicating his father's teachings we must then ask: who is Jack to Sam in this moment in the narrative? He’s definitely not his son nor his sibling. But he's not someone Sam keeps in locks either. As I’ve said, Sam has never been above imprisoning people in his dungeon to reach his goal, yet he takes another road with Jack, maybe precisely because he’s identifying with him and projecting onto him his own fears and issues with “being evil” and “being a freak”. There is something very similar between the two but what is it? And why is it not expressed? Maybe Sam is not Jack the way he thinks he is but they do share one thing: they have both missed the opportunity to create a bond with their respective mothers.

Sam only really utterly fails Jack when he’s dishonest with him. He eventually understands that and comes clean with him but I think that a lot of the initial issues happened because he was not communicating with Jack at all. And he didn’t even give him a choice. I think that if Sam were honest with Jack and gave him the choice to help him he would have discovered another thing that make them veeeery similar: both of them are okay with twisting human morality and… sort of… manipulate people a little to get what they want. Does this make them evil villains? To me, no. Does this make them human, layered, compelling characters that raise interesting moral questions more than give black and white answers? Totally yes!

Sam and Jack are not “totally different” but they are different. Conversely, they are not “totally similar” but they are similar. The Rescuing of the Mother can happen because The Loss of the Mother is something that Jack can deeply understand and relate to. He doesn’t want to save Mary just to please Sam and Dean. I think it’s deeper than that.

In case it wasn't clear, the conflation of Mary and Kelly is very clear in "The Big Empty":

MIA: You’ve lost someone recently? DEAN: No. JACK: My mother. SAM: Uh, our mother. We’ve having a difficult time.

Mary-as-Missed/Missing-Mother is such a central theme in this season that the Apocalypse World is a literal ramification of the Original World that's solely dependent on Mary Winchester’s choice to not deal with Azazel. John is never brought back and, more importantly, Sam and Dean are never born. This is a world where she’s not the mother. But why is Mary’s choice so vital it can create different timelines?

S12 and S13 implicitly seem to tell that everything that happened was because of Mary’s choice and… it’s, like, not true? Sometimes Sam and Dean are so ultra-focused on “free will” and “making the right choices” that tend to forget the part where both them and their parents were part of a larger scheme that was predicated on people ultimately being herd towards a designed pen. Like, while I think that Dean and Sam having issues with their mother is completely real and plausible, I don’t understand why the narrative re-frames itself in this way… I understand that they were going for a specific retelling of the first seasons but this is not just retelling, this is demolishing the premises of those series. S4-5 were precisely about the mystification and the perils of a glorified, Grand Destiny that in reality was nothing but a Big Scam. It’s not your destiny if your destiny is something that somebody else is telling you about and when this somebody else has a vested interest in you believing that you have that specific destiny. Or if somebody else is removing all of your choices leaving you with close to nothing to choose from.

Apocalypse World is, thus, such an unfair double-edged sword, cause on the one hand, it gives Mary agency but on the other it shows us that both choices resulted in… well, frankly, catastrophes. And I think it’s unfair to throw this huge weight onto her shoulders after they had dug her up from her grave while completely ignoring the whole thing about senior management angels playing puppeteers with the Winchesters.

Kelly-as-Missed/Missing-Mother is the other side of the coin of this little argument of mine because in s13 the writers demonstrated how Kelly must stay dead because one mother is enough and they didn’t know what to make of Kelly since she was not a hunter. She was just, as a character, Jack’s mother. The rift to the Apocalypse World was even possible in the first place because she (more or less, it’s complicated) decided that she would.have.her.baby. But, just like Mary before her resurrection, if his actual mother were back in the game it either meant that Jack was out of the game or that they had to include her in some capacity into the Winchesters dynamics and they didn’t want any of that. Mary’s death meant that Sam and Dean entered the hunters’ life, Kelly’s death assures the same for Jack. Plus, they all have an angel watching over them, isn't it just great? But hey, wait, this is the absent fathers show so we’re gonna give this kid three, four, five fathers!!! (sarcastic). Also, Alive Kelly wouldn’t be the Good, Perfect, Dead Mother that she is to Jack because, well, she would be a Real Character, not a memory on a pen drive and Alive Kelly would be so faaaar from the Good and Perfect Mother. Do we have to try to write another complex mother? One is enough!!! (sarcastic).

In conclusion, in s13 Sam’s (and Jack’s) huge missed opportunity stays… missing. Jack will go to the Apocalypse World and fight the angels with Mary whereas Mary decides to stay there (lol!) to help with the fight. They literally have to find a bus and move all the remaining AU people to the Original World because Mary has decided that she wanted to stay in a world where she didn’t choose John and she didn’t give birth to her sons (me asking Sam who has just died and was resurrected by Lucifer only to find out that his mother didn’t want to be saved: are you REALLY okay? LOL). I’ll stop here cause this is getting way too long but maybe, just maybe, s13 as a whole was a giant missed opportunity.

[gayangelcrimes]

Mary always had this strange obsession with salt. When they finally got their own house the first thing she did was dig a little trench around the house's exterior contour that she filled with rock salt. When John gave her a strange look, she shrugged and said something about keeping weeds from growing too close to the house's foundation, their roots could damage the plumbing and stuff. John didn't question her further. She redid it every few weeks or months. She didn't tend to the rest of the garden, barely even cared about the grass getting taller than their knees if John couldn't bother to mow it, but the salt was like a sacred little ritual to her. Sometimes John caught her lining up the windows or the fireplace with salt. She said it was against bad luck. She said it was so the house didn't get too humid during summer. She said it was so things didn't freeze over winter. She said it was a family tradition. She said anything, she knew John didn't really care about the answer. He was already sure in the back of his mind that Mary wasn't entirely sane.

John thought she was strange for collecting knives. Every time they visited a thrift shop or antique store she'd go straight to the knives, looking for anything that caught her attention, building a little collection of knives that she kept tucked in the back of her side of their closet. It was a hobby, she said. It reminded her of her family. Her dad collected knives too. They didn't always see eye to eye, but she always loved her dad's knife collection, she told John. The curves of the blades, the inscriptions carved into some of them, the materials, the way different handles fit into her hand. She was building herself a collection she could love too, hidden in a small corner of their bedroom.

When the demon came to collect his prize he had a hard time to enter the house. The salt couldn't stop him forever, it wasn't supposed to. It was an alarm. Mary could almost feel in her bones when the salt line was breached. The sense of wrongness. The TV downstairs turning into static. Footsteps carrying John's body with a weight and pace that was not John's. She ran to the closet. She knew exactly what she was looking for.

She didn't want it to end like this, but in the back of her mind she always felt this was how they would end. Her knife in John's chest, his car on the road, their kids in the backseat. Running for her life from a murder she could only take half the blame for.

The demon did something to Sam, she could see drops of blood in his face when she grabbed him from his crib. So small in her hands, yet she knows he's something bigger than she could ever imagine. She cleaned his face, shook Dean awake and told him to hold Sammy while she packed their stuff. Their clothes, her knife collection, the family pictures, all the salt bags in the pantry. John's old gun, just in case. The car keys and some snacks for the road.

Dean kept asking about his daddy, why wasn't he here, wasn't he going with them? She couldn't tell the truth, he couldn't understand. So she said daddy is feeling bad and doesn't want to see anyone for a while, he asked mommy to take Dean and Sammy on a trip for a while. How long? Who knows, he'll call when he's feeling good again. For now, we'll go far away, we'll have a road trip and visit lots of fun places and see lots of cool stuff, how does that sound? Dean likes the sound of that.

She goes back to being Mary Campbell. If anyone asks what happened to her husband she'll just say she left him because he was an abusive piece of shit. God knows it's not entirely a lie. She visits her family, tells them what happened. She leaves out the blood. They praise her on the salt and the knives. They welcome her back to the family, if she wants to come back. Right now she just wants to get the hell away from Kansas, actually.

She goes back and salts and burns down the house just in case.

[scoobydoodean]

❤️ Dean Being Love to Others ❤️

Season 1 Part 2

master post here (still being updated)

1.10 "Asylum": Immediately after Sam, while mind controlled by Dr. Ellicott, blasts Dean through a wall with a shotgun full of rock salt, says some big meanie things to him :( and then tries to shoot him in the head over and over... after knocking Sam out, Dean pats Sam on the shoulder and says, "Sorry Sammy" because he knows Sam's jaw is going to hurt when he wakes up jhvsdjvgjhsfdgj

1.11 "Scarecrow": Sam and Dean fight and part ways at the beginning of the episode. Dean could probably use help on the case, but he doesn't ask for it when they finally do call—he does the opposite when Sam asks if he's hinting he needs help. He says, "You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life. You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy." At the end of the episode, after Sam comes back, Dean also doesn't assume he'll stay and asks if he can drop him off anywhere. (Gifset)

1.12 "Faith": Dean struggles with believing Layla deserves to live far more than he does. He struggles both with his own "healing" being prioritized over hers, as well as having to stop the reaper so no one else gets hurt when Layla is the next to be healed.

1.13 "Route 666": DEAN WAS IN LOVE WITH CASSIE. HE WAS SO IN LOVE WITH HER THAT HE TOLD HER THE TRUTH. And even though he was hurt because of how they broke up, the moment she called and she needed his help, he jumped to go help her no questions asked, no hesitation.

1.14 "Nightmare" #1: When Max is about to shoot his step-mother, Dean steps between her and the gun and tells Max he has to go through him first.

1.14 "Nightmare #2: Throughout the episode, Dean does his best to reassure Sam that everything is going to be okay, that his visions do not scare Dean, that he is not going to turn into a monster. This culminates in, at the end of the episode, Dean telling Sam nothing bad is going to happen to him as long as Dean is around. Dean won't let it.

1.16 "Shadow": Dean lets go of what he personally wants, which is him, Sam, and John all together, and advocates for himself and Sam to separate from John because he believes that they'll be a liability (I also think he's incorrect but I do think it's still an example of him being selfless).

1.18 "Something Wicked" #1: Dean crouches down to be at eye level with Michael when he sees him upset. He tells Michael that it is not his fault that his brother got sick when Michael blames himself.

1.18 "Something Wicked" #2: Dean drives Michael's mom to the hospital because he recognizes she's in no condition to drive.

1.18 "Something Wicked" #3: Dean checks in with Michael again right before the plan to catch the Shtriga, and tells him, "Michael, you sure you wanna do this? You don't have to, it's ok, I won't be mad."

1.18 "Something Wicked" #4: There are multiple small examples of the contrast of a child's innocence and Dean's lack of innocence in childhood, and kid Dean makes the decision from childhood through the present to not resent Sam for having that innocence but to try and protect that innocence. And even as an adult, when Sam says, "Sometimes I wish I could have [the innocence of not knowing what's out there]", Dean replies, "If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too"—saying nothing of his own stolen childhood.

1.19 "Provenance": Dean is worried about Sam losing himself in research and not pursuing relationships (like with Sarah Blake) because of Jess. He tells Sam as gently as he can that he thinks Jess would want Sam to be happy.

1.21 "Salvation" #1: Sam begins to say that Mary and Jess's deaths are all his fault and that he has to fix it. Dean tells him fiercely that it is not his fault and that fixing it is a "we" problem.

1.21 "Salvation" #2: Dean holds Sam back from running into a building burning to the ground (which would instantly kill him) to try and reach the demon.

1.21 "Salvation" #3: When Sam throws him up against a wall, instead of matching Sam's rage, Dean speaks to him gently or calmly and is able to get through to him.

1.21 "Salvation" #4: Dean asks John to promise him that he'll get out if things go sideways with tricking Meg.

1.22 "Devil's Trap" #1: Dean says that if finding the demon means John or Sam getting themselves killed for revenge, he hopes they never find it.

1.22 "Devil's Trap" #2: Dean brings The Colt in secret when they go to save John even though he knows John would be furious, then uses it to save Sam's life.

1.22 "Devil's Trap" #3: Dean says he's actually scared of what he's capable of doing to protect Sam and John.

1.22 "Devil's Trap" #4: Dean is badly hurt and bleeding out after being attacked by Yellow Eyes, but begs Sam to check on John and see if he's okay.

[delicatenightfury]

Hard Truths

2022 Month of Writing: Day 18

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader, platonic!John Winchester x reader

Prompt:

Word Count: 1,180

Author's Note: please don't steal my work! you can choose to respond to the prompt as well, but don't steal my work

“So, you’re Dean’s fiance.”

y/n glanced over her shoulder. John Winchester was standing at the entrance of the room, observing her as she looked through case files and research. It was so weird having him around. He had been dead for nearly thirteen years. She had known him briefly before he had died, having been one or two hunts with the Winchester boys when they interacted with their dad.

Now, the brothers were out on a grocery run to get ingredients for Mary’s casserole. That left y/n alone in the bunker with their parents. Both of them. Alive and well. To say it was a little awkward was probably an understatement.

“Yeah,” she said.

“I, uh, noticed the ring earlier. When did he propose?”

“He asked about two years ago. Being a hunter doesn’t really allow a lot of room for financial stability, so he didn’t officially get the ring until recently.”

John smiled a little.

“Nice to know he’s finally settling down.”

y/n couldn’t help but nod.

“I never thought it would happen. We’ve both seen what hunting does to people, especially married couples. But I’m glad he finally asked.”

“So when did you start hunting with them?”

“About ten, eleven years ago. It started as an occasional thing, maybe the same hunt every couple of weeks or months, before it started becoming more frequent. Sam was the one that invited me to stay.” She paused and sat back in her chair, casting a glance toward John. “I actually went on two hunts with you and the boys.”

“Really?”

She nodded.

“First one I was hunting a demon in Chicago before Dean and Sam showed up. Turned out to be a demon controlling a group of Daeva. Next hunt was weeks later. We had just wrapped up one when they heard from a friend of yours. You were on the same job, which ended up also being a vampire hunt.”

John took a moment to observe her posture, and replayed her words in his mind.

“I take it that things didn’t go smoothly?”

“I mean, we got thrown around a lot.”

“I meant between the two of us.”

y/n shook her head, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

“No, smooth is probably the last word I’d use to describe it. We were civilized, but I definitely had my opinions.” She glanced at him, surprised to see that he seemed to be expecting more. “What?”

“What were your thoughts?”

“On you? You want me to tell you what my first thoughts about you were?”

He shrugged.

“Only if you’re willing.”

She looked at him for several moments, debating whether or not to actually tell him her thoughts.

“Well,” she started. She paused to give John room to back out, but he only looked at her expectantly. “To put it simply, I thought you were a dick.”

John ducked his head with a small smile. It made y/n relax a little.

“That right?”

“Oh yeah. You were so determined to kill the thing that got Mary, I could see it in your eyes when you talked about it. And I knew that that drive was what made you a good hunter. But I also saw the effect it had on your sons. The minute they saw you, their posture and personality changed. They looked more like soldiers. And after you left the first time, I could see how desperately they wanted to help you.

“Then when you came around the second time, you were still so sure to keep them in the dark. You claimed to be protecting them, yet you let them travel all across the country hunting monsters and saving people. God, I almost snapped at you during that hunt.”

y/n bowed her head and rubbed her forehead. She could picture the arguments she heard between Sam and John. She remembered how much she wanted to butt in and snap back, maybe even punch him. But it hadn’t been her place. She had stayed as far removed as she could during those moments.

“You turned your war into theirs,” she eventually continued. “So much so that they never really knew anything other than hunting. They had to grow up too quickly. Dean at least tried to make sure that Sam had a decent childhood. But Dean had to grow up too fast because you told him that it was his responsibility to watch over Sam and to keep him safe. He had to play mother and father to his little brother because you were too busy hunting. And I get that that’s the hunter’s life, but you dropped the ball on your responsibilities as a father.

“Believe me, I understand what it means to be a hunter and to have that drive to take out the darkness in the world. But there were two little beacons of light just waiting to shine, and they never did except for each other. You had a hand in making them the hunters they are, John, but not a lot in making them the men they’ve become. You let other people do that for you.”

She finally cast a glance at John. She expected him to be angry, annoyed, questioning who she was to judge his parenting. What she hadn’t been expecting was John staring right at her, nodding his head slightly with tears in his eyes.

“You’re not wrong,” he said. “I know I messed up and dropped the ball when it came to the two of them.”

“I’m not saying you didn’t love them, John,” y/n said. “I know you did. That’s clear as day to me with you being here. And you kept them safe when it mattered. You probably did the best you could, raising two boys on your own. But I’ve seen how tired the two of them get sometimes.”

John sighed and ran his hand over his head, sinking into a nearby chair.

“I never wanted for them to continue to live this life. Sam almost got out, going to college and everything. I heard Dean almost did too.”

“They’ve both tried. Almost succeeded too. But life just kind of dragged them back in.”

John nodded. He lifted his head to smile slightly at her.

“Seems like Dean’s trying to settle down again though.” The two glanced down at her ring and smiled. “Have you talked about what you’ll do?”

“We’re eventually going to try and step away. Maybe find a place close to the Bunker, find normal jobs. We might pick up a hunt every now and then, depending on what it is and the distance. But any choice that relates to hunting, we’ve agreed to talk about. We plan on talking Sam into taking a step back too.”

John smiled again, reaching over to pat his hand on her shoulder and giving it a slight squeeze

“Dean’s a lucky guy,” he said. You’re gonna make a hell of a Winchester.”

y/n blushed. She hadn’t expected that response. She smiled at him.

“I’m certainly gonna try my best.”

A/N: I was expecting there to be more Dean in this. Oops!