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jockdumboy · 5 months ago

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Dumbass Douchebag Revultion Jock Bro

aight bro, u wanna join da dumbass douchebag revulution, huh? respect, bro, cuz we out here makin gainz an thinkin' less, da right way! imma show u how to turn off ur brain an get swole, bro. no need for smart stuff, just muscles an tank tops. u ready? let’s goo, bro!

step 1: stop thinkin’ so much bro – just focus on liftin

bro, smart thots slow u down. u gotta think less an just lift more. if ur thinkin, u ain't liftin! u need to clear ur head an focus on dem muscles, bro. here’s how u do it:

how to turn ur brain off, bro:

grunt a lot – bro, when u feel a thot creepin up in ur head, just grunt. grunts block out da brain stuff. erry time u grunt, u get a lil dumber but also more swole. more grunts = more gainz.

count wrong – don't worry about counting right, bro. just do like “1… 2… uh… 10!” don’t waste brain energy on numbers, bro. just lift until ur arms feel like noodles. numbers are for nerds.

stare at urself – da more u look at urself flexin, da less u think. mirrors are key, bro. flex in da mirror for 10 mins and u’ll feel da brain fog settlin in. if u ain’t thinkin, ur winnin!

step 2: eat like a dumb bro – food for less thinkin’

bro, smart people eat complicated stuff, but we ain’t needin’ dat. we gotta keep da food simple, so da brain stays off an muscles grow, bro.

simple jock meal plan:

brekfast: 10 egg whites, bro, no yellow stuff, cuz yolk is too complicated. jus crack ‘em an cook ‘em. don’t even think bout it, just eat dem. den drink a protein shake, bro, but don’t think too hard on how much powder u put in, just pour an shake.

lunch: chicken, bro, jus chicken. u don’t need nothin fancy. jus grab some chicken and eat it. da less u think bout flavors, da better. thinkin slows down da gainz.

dinnar: more chicken, or steak if u wanna switch it up. but don’t think too much, bro, steak is jus beef chicken. eat dat, maybe add some broccoli if u feel fancy, but dats it. simple = swole.

snakks: peanut butter, right out da jar, bro. don’t even use a spoon, jus scoop it wit ur hand if u gotta. drink protein shakes whenever u think too much, dat’ll stop da smart thots.

step 3: dress like a jock, bro – look dumb, lift big

bro, ur clothes gotta scream “i don’t think, i just lift.” da right gear stops ur brain from workin' an shows erryone dat ur all about da gainz.

jock bro style:

tank tops: da less shirt, da better, bro. if ur tank ain’t showin’ ur nips, it’s too much. u worked hard for dem muscles, show ‘em off. less shirt = less thots.

short shorts: u gotta show dem legz, bro. even if u don’t work legs much, u wear da short shorts. da shorter, da less brain power u use. simple math, bro.

backwards hat: wear ur hat backwards, always. makes u look more like a badass jock, plus it keeps da brain from overheatin’. dat’s science, bro, trust me.

step 4: act like a jock bro – no thinkin, just doin

bein part of da dumbass douchebag revolution means actin like u own da world, bro. don’t let smart people get in ur way, jus be loud and confident, like errywhere u go is ur gym.

how to act, bro:

flex errywhere: see a mirror? flex. don’t even think twice, just do it. flexin' is like a brain reset, it turns off any smart thots u might accidentally have.

talk bout liftin all da time: bro, if someone tryna talk bout somethin' else, jus say “yo bro, how much u bench tho?” dat’ll stop da convo from gettin smart. always bring it back to da gym, bro. liftin' is life.

grunt loud af: grunt whenever u do stuff, not just in da gym. grunt when u lift, grunt when u open a door, grunt when u stand up. it shows ur serious about bein' a jock bro an it keeps ur brain from thinkin’.

conclusion: welcome to da revolution, bro

bro, now u know how to join da dumbass douchebag revolution. jus think less, lift more, eat simple, an dress like a beast. we don’t need smarts, bro, we jus need gainz. u ready to be part of da swole squad? let’s gooo bro! time to lift and never think again!

#dumb #jock #dumb jock #douchebag jock bro #douchebag jock #douchebag #dumb jock douchebag #meathead #bro #jockification

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chrystal-ink · 4 months ago

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Shadow x gn reader

Obvious

Based off of this cut song from the musical Dear Evan Hansen. This one goes out to all my people who can never tell weather or not somebody likes them. I feel your pain.

-Enjoy

The cool autumn breeze danced throughout the trail turning the summer heat into a distant memory. The air was fresh and smelled of dead leaves and pine. The park was quiet everyone opting to stay inside and shelter themselves from the cold, every one but you and your friend.

Leaves crunched underneath your boots as you made your way to your destination. You were running late as per usual but you had a good excuse this time, honestly. This past week has been rough on both of you and you both deserved a treat.

It took a while to convince the barista that you were not in fact crazy for ordering coffee beans and boiling water separate. what was his business questioning you anyway, it's not like he's getting paid to care.

Admittedly you thought it was weird at first too but as you got to know him you understood that's just a part of who he is. There were a lot of things that Shadow did that could be considered unorthodox but one of the things you admired most about him is that he didn't seem to care about what other people thought of him. He marched to the beat of his own drum and if others didn't like it that was their problem.

Thoughts of Shadow warmed you as you walked, they were doing a much better job than your coat was at the moment. You cursed yourself for losing your hat and scarf right before the cold hit for the third year in a row. Hopefully your coffee would warm you up but you refused to drink it before meeting up with Shadow, it would be rude to show up late and to enjoy your treat before he even knew about it, besides it wasn't too long until you reached your usual meeting place anyway, you could hold off for a few more minutes.

You and Shadow had been meeting at the same bench every Saturday morning for the past year or so. It started out as a simple coincidence but as you two started running into each other more and more you both grew to expect each other eventually just making plans to meet up at the same place and time every week.

All you would do is walk around the park and talk about anything really, your interests, your life, problems that either of you were facing. There wasn't anything that either of you couldn't discuss with one another. He had opened himself up to you and that wasn't something that you took lightly. You knew about his past, his struggles with his identity, you saw it all and you loved him for it, even the parts of him he couldn't love himself. You wouldn't change a single thing about him for the world. You hoped one day he could see it too.

You had fallen for the dark hedgehog despite his rough edges and tough exterior. There was so much more to him than just that he was sweet, and considerate, and cared so much not just about you but also about his other friends too. None of this he could know of course, you didn't want to risk losing your friendship with him, he was too special to you. You couldn't handle it if he rejected you, and besides it would ruin the best part of your week.

So you were content with how things were, this way you could keep Shadow in your life. You just had to ignore the beating of your heart every time he made eye contact, and not to think too much about your hands brushing together as you walked, and not to fall into ecstasy every time you heard his voice speak your name. It was easy. (You're delusional)

Before you knew it you had reached your destination. Shadow was already there and waiting with his usual pout.

"you're late."

"Yes, but I brought you something, I heard you had a rough week so I brought you your favorite. Ta da!" You presented him with the small bag of roasted coffee beans and the steaming water.

He grinned as he took the items from you the tips of his gloved fingers making contact with yours, thank goodness it was cold out otherwise you would have to come up with a good reason for the deep blush on your face.

"you look cold, did you loose your scarf again?"

"I swear I put it in my closet I really do but when I went to grab it, it was gone, I have no Idea where it disappeared to."

"well lucky for you, I brought a surprise for you too, try not to lose this one too soon." He said teasing you. Holding out a small bag.

Smiling you took the bag and opened it's contents. A beautiful scarf that had been lovingly knitted in your favorite color with silver stars embroidered on the edges and a matching hat to boot.

"Oh Shadow, this is beautiful, thank you so much, I love it!" (And I love you!)

"you're welcome, now put them on before you get too cold. I don't want you getting sick in this weather."

He was so thoughtful.

You quickly wrapped the scarf around your neck it's yarn instantly warming you. You smiled leaning into it's warmth. You then started to put the hat on, a bit of a struggle without a mirror to get your ears through the holes on top.

"here let me help you" Shadow said before taking the hat from your hands, gingerly placing it on your head, and guiding your ears to their rightful destinations. His eyes gleaming in the daylight focused completely on his task thankfully not noticing that you're completely flustered by the closeness. His face inches from your's his lips pressed together, how you longed for their touch. You'd bet they were soft as pillows and as warm as freshly baked cookies.

"there we go all done, how do you feel?" He said snapping you back into reality.

"oh, uh warm, thanks... for the hat and the help."

"Of course, we should get going."

"right, let's go." You said smiling, following him down your usual path.

You two continued on talking about your weeks, your small business had been struggling for a little while and a rough interaction with a client had left you wondering weather or not you should call it quits.

"Don't give up Y/N, I've seen your work, with a talent like your's it would be cruel to the world and yourself to quit." He reassured you. "Don't be afraid of failing, learn from it and keep going."

Shadow had a rough week as well, a mission had gone awry and the aftermath had been catastrophic.

"Nobody was hurt too bad but it never should have happened in the first place, our team should have been more careful. It's times like these that make me wonder if I'm doing this right if I'm protecting the world the way it needs to be, the way she would want me to. I spend all my time trying to bring peace to the world she never got to see, sometimes I wonder if it is even possible."

"You're doing your best Shadow, any one can see that. the world has a lot of problems, it's going to take a long time, and a lot of people to get there. You need to remember to take help when you need it, you're not alone anymore you have Rouge, and Omega, and me. I can't break into secret facilities, and my fighting skills leave something to be desired but I'm always here to lend an ear whatever you need."

Shadow paused for a moment. He turned to you, looked directly in your eyes, and finally spoke.

"Thank you Y/N, I know I don't say things like this very often, but you have been a good friend to me and I rather enjoy your presence. I look forward to our meetings every week and I hope we can continue them for as long as possible."

Your heart fluttered so much so you were worried that he would be able to hear it. From where he stood. His eyes were focused on you looking like embers in a campfire plucking your heartstrings. Keep breathing you had to tell yourself. He's just saying he enjoys your friendship, don't look too much into it.

Smiling and returning the eye contact you finally responded.

"I would very much enjoy that Shado-"

The next thing you knew Shadow was pulling you into a kiss. His lips were tender against yours, the heat from his hot water coffee bean mix seeping from his mouth into your body making you feel as if it were 100 degrees outside, he tasted like coffee and cinnamon the scent of lavender invading your nose.

You were too shocked to kiss back, or even notice that Shadow had slipped his hand into yours.

You pulled back gasping from shock. Trying to rapidly wrap your head around the situation before it was too late.

"I'm sorry." Shadow said loosing his grip on your hand " I thought maybe you... never mind I should g-"

"WAIT!" You shouted tightening your hand around his. You didn't have a plan for what you were going to say but you figured you needed to say something and fast before you lost your chance.

"Don't apologize for doing that, ever. I just wasn't expecting it. I didn't know you felt that way."

"How could you not I thought I was being so obvious. I even asked Amy for advice on what I should do to let you know."

Shadow was in love with you. He had been from the very beginning. All the times you had been dismissing as him as being just a friend he was trying to gain your affection. You weren't delusional, somebody as wonderful as him had feelings for someone like you and you completely missed the signs.

Looking back the signs were so completely obvious, all the small details about your life that he memorized, the small gifts every now and again, the fact that he waited for you every week despite the fact that you were almost always late, hell he was the one who suggested you two meet every week in the first place. The puzzle pieces clicked together all at once.

"You mean this whole time you- you really liked me?" You asked tears of joy forming in your eyes

"Yes, I'll admit it took me a while to realize that I did but I do. I care for you Y/N. I've never felt like this before. No matter what I do I can't seem to get you out of my head, and if you would let me I would like to take you out on a date."

Words could not express how much joy you felt in that moment so instead of answering you simply returned the kiss you pulled away from earlier.

Your lips collided once again and this time you leaned in savoring the kiss you had been craving for so long, leaves fell all around you two as your lips intertwined in a passionate whirlwind. Shadow pulling you into a tight embrace. You two only parting in order to catch your breath.

"So then I'll pick you up tonight for dinner"

"It's a date" you said before pulling him back in for another kiss.

You felt yourself smiling into his lips as he kissed you back the two of you enjoying your private moment . Sharing a kiss with the one person you could talk to about anything. it was better than anything either of you could have ever dreamed of.

#shadow x reader #shadow the hedgehog x reader #shadow the hedgehog #shadow #x reader #sonic fanfiction #sonic the hedgehog #i might change the ending later idk it's late #not beta read

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celestiamour · 4 months ago

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₊˚✧ ❛[ every baby needs a da-da-daddy ]❜

ft. hugh jackman x f! reader — rpf

╰₊✧ some sweet softie who enjoys being home his baby little diamond toys┊1.2k words

song: every baby needs a da da daddy - marilyn monroe contains: no disrespect to hugh, this is purely fictional!! sugar daddy hugh & sugar baby reader, no smut, unspecified age gap, mentions of insecurity

➤ author's note: happy late birthday to the daddiest of daddies & the dilfiest of dilfs! this is my first hit at writing rpf, so it might not be very good, but it was still fun to write! i’m not sure if rpf is something i’ll write again, but who knows!

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who you kept at arm’s length at first, resisting the charms and allure of an older man who promised to treat you right and seat you in his lap of luxury. you’ve never been in such a relationship before (although you’ve always entertained it), much less being with an actor with as much renown as he did, so you tried putting him off by insisting you would only accept princess treatment and wouldn’t take anything short of the best. being a little bit of a brat would either put him off because he’s too old to deal with that or entice him even more with the challenge, and he’s obviously the latter because he would be more than willing to buy you an entire castle if you wished for it.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who quickly figures out that everything you were saying before didn’t hold any weight as you’ll feel guilty if he does something as small as being a gentleman who pays for your half of the meal, so you’re just going to have to get used to being spoiled. he might even encourage you to quit your shitty underpaid day job with all the rude customers and pursue something you’re actually interested in, whether that’s becoming an artist of any sort or seeking out high education to get the qualifications for your dream job, he’s more than willing to provide for you while you work towards your goals and will reward you every time you accomplish one of them.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who often needs to leave early for work, so when you wake up in your shared bed, you’ll find a few notifications on your phone: the first being a few hundred dollars he sent for you to treat yourself while he’s gone, the second being a cute dad selfie of the place he’s at, and the third being a message wishing you a good morning with the reminder for you to take care of yourself and that he loves you. if he’s traveling for a press tour, then he’ll give you the option to go with him or not because he knows it can be exhausting, but he’s willing to fly you out to his location at the drop of a hat because he constantly misses you so much.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who likes to take you out for fancy dinners every now and then, but he really prefers to stay in and make home-cooked meals with you. he finds that making food together is more of a bonding experience than simply eating together, and loves to hug you from the back and guide your movements with his hands on top of yours as you chop vegetables or something. also he’ll only buy the highest-quality ingredients, ones that could give you an aneurysm from a glance of the receipt alone even though he thinks it’s worth the price for the better taste and health benefits.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who surprises you with expensive jewelry and beautiful custom-made dresses which cost more than what you usually would be able to make in a month. he doesn’t make a big deal out of it either, just drops a shopping bag filled with glittery tissue paper in front of you with a smile waiting for you to open it. feel free to gasp and smack him for making such an impulsive shopping decision just because he thought of you when he saw it, but expect him to pout and pretend to be offended. nothing is “too much” for his darling.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who acts as your personal chauffeur and drives you around in which car in his collection you want, taking you to the mall, to see a show, to an outing with friends, and wherever else you want to go. the passenger seats are perfectly adjusted to your preferences and have your things sticking out of the side compartments with his large hand being a comforting weight on your thigh, drawing circles into your skin while reminding you that you look perfect and don’t need to continuously fidget with your appearance.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who isn’t what you expected him to be considering his age. you thought he was just some old man who might have been a snob with his status, but he’s a genuine down-to-earth man. even with the salt peppering his hair, smile lines, crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes, and glasses, he still laughs like a young man and has a sharp mind with insightful knowledge that came with life’s experience. not to mention his godly body which you get the pleasure of watching him work on, cheering him on when he lifts weights while you stand on the sidelines or even join him. he sometimes says you help keep him young, but you know that he’s the most extraordinary man you’ve ever met.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who, although you struggle to admit it, makes you feel insecure at times. he’s hugh jackman, the wolverine, the greatest showman— someone who is larger than life while you’re just someone who met and caught his eye by chance. although he doesn’t seem to mind what others think about your relationship, you aren’t blind to it and worry constantly about ruining his image to the public eye as well as those around him who may not approve of your unconventional relationship. it seems like something built on money rather than love, and although you felt that way at first, it’s clearly grown into something more than that.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who can see right through you as soon as you start having these thoughts, don’t think you can hide it from him. he’s very perceptive and will ask what’s wrong immediately, giving you his full attention and taking any opportunity for you to run away from this confrontation. he’s an open book with you and would like it if you were with him as well, but if you aren’t ready to tell him yet, then he’s fine with giving you room to gather yourself.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who feels his heart break into pieces when you tell him that you just don’t feel good enough to be with him. he’ll hold you and wipe away your tears which began to streak down your face once the words were out, assuring you it was never something that crossed his mind even once and how he wishes you could see how lovely you were in his eyes. anything he can do to change the way you think about this topic, he’ll do, and if you don’t think there is anything that can be done, he’ll compliment you even more frequently and put more time aside for you to show how much he really treasures you.

sugar daddy! hugh jackman who becomes more open about your relationship when people ask about it, showing he isn’t ashamed about it and is very proud to call him yours. he’s fantastic at tearing down any negative rumors about you and deflecting criticism, protecting you by turning each question into a session praising how wonderful he thinks you are. there’s not much to it, he’s just some sweet softie who enjoys bringing home his baby little diamond toys and giving her the lavish life she deserves.

#📜. her works #hugh jackman #hugh jackman x reader #hugh jackman fanfic #rpf #rpf x reader #rpf fanfiction

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warsofasoiaf · 1 month ago

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I know there's War of the Roses parallels with I&F, but do you think Westeros might be more France than England? I ask because you have written about the feudal levies in I&F, but a book I read about Crecy says that the French actually had a peasant levy supporting knights & mercenary archers, as opposed to the English force. Also, where English WotR lords had estates all over the country, French nobles actually seem to have ruled blocks of territory, on map I saw racefortheironthrone post.

I think these are less modeling after medieval France and more about GRRM's creative choices for storytelling and in building the world of Westeros for simplicity.

The Seven Kingdoms being more or less contiguous blocs without exclaves or strange dual-hatting where an English king can do obeisance to the French king specifically in the scope and purview of being the Duke of certain French provinces while maintaining his own independent Kingdom of England is because that's a very complicated political arrangement. Since that sort of arrangement doesn't really drive the plot at all, GRRM just made Westerosi feudalism simpler for the sake of reader digestion. It may not be accurate to period feudalism, but it is much easier for the modern layman to pick it up, read it, and understand it. "This territory is the Vale, everyone in it are vassals of the Arryns." Easy to draw a map for it, easy to understand when Lysa Arryn refuses to engage in the War of the Five Kings to know exactly *which* houses are staying out, because they're all neatly listed in the appendix, one right after the other.

GRRM's ahistorical overreliance on the peasant levy has less to do with preferring to pattern the military system after England than France, since France itself also had its own semi-professional and quasi-professional soldiers classes with varying degrees of irregular training and kit, and more to do with his experiences as a conscientious objector and Vietnam War protester. It's not wrong to say that his experiences during that period of time are a great influence on him and he wanted to capture the feeling of the conscriptee being sent to Da Neng in passages like the Broken Man Speech. The experiences of the unraveling of the social fabric and the devastation that the war brought is central to the story in A Feast For Crows and GRRM wanted to use what he knew, a similar sense of a torn apart world that felt betrayed by LBJ and Nixon.

Thanks for the question, Anon.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

#writing #grrm

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superkirbylover · 1 year ago

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FINALLY!!! the VERY final refs for the ponified cast of pizza tower. everypony has the same name except for pizzahead, who's called pizzahoof. pizzahoof was also designed by @c0met-dr01d!! go check them out :]

under the cut is me rambling about their cutiemarks (or lack thereof) and other design choices

gustavo's cutiemark is a pizza with three mushroom toppings, because he's a chef, and earlier in pizza tower development, he was a gnome! this isn't the case anymore though, but i still like to think he is. that, and i just associate him with gnome forest, so it felt fitting. plus, i suppose it adds to the mario comparisons lmao

peppino's cutiemark is a pepperoni pizza alongside a pizzacutter. i know people are raising eyebrows at the pepperoni, but my excuse is... uhh, they're not actually pepperoni. it's like, some vegetarian alternative. probably made of flowers or some shit. the pizza is obvious, he's a chef and he cooka-da-pizza. the pizza cutter isn't just to hammer that in, but it's also a callback to the various times throughout pizza tower development where he used to have a pizza cutter buzz-saw! especially in pizza massacre

noise's cutiemark is a bomb with its fuse lit, because it represents his explosive personality and he often uses bombs. dude is wacky, unpredictable and can be a feral fucking thing. also something about acting, being a mascot or being in the showbiz somewhere in the mix. he has a tail, but it's just... in his suit. he's a dumbass

noisette's cutiemark is a ruby chocolate bar. she runs a cafe, and while she presumably has Really Weird Taste, i figured it would be a really cute fit for her. it's sweet, just like her! and pink. just like her!

fake peppino deliberately does not have a cutiemark. it's to add to the sense of "failed clone," where many aspects of peppino have been successfully recreated (body type, hair color, coat color, outfit, facial hair) but other small things have been muddled or changed by mistake (height, eyes not staying in their sockets, hair being more smooth looking, face shape). not to mention, he's made of dough, like his original clone counterpart. in the show, it's established that only ponies can have cutiemarks. while he looks like a pony, who's to say he really is one?

stick's cutiemark is that television hud you see when you have enough money to buy a boss gate in pizza tower. i chose this cause on top of being a tv, a reoccurring object throughout the game, it also has some modifications to make it more... stick-y. it has his hat and a propeller coming from the top, and if you know stick, that man likes to make shit, specifically to sell and make money. that's also why there's a money sign in the tv. stick has a tail stub but i never really draw it myself. he's completely bald. mind you, he still has his coat, but no mane, no tail. zilch. he's a bald motherfucker. also stick's magic color is green

pizzahoof also does not have a cutiemark. he's a fucking cheese pony, why would he need one? dude just exists to be silly and whimsical. giving him one i feel would go against his character of just being clownish, doing what he wants when he wants, regardless if it means others suffer because of him or not. also, he's MADE of CHEESE!!!

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bountydroid · 9 months ago

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Darlin' pt 11

pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt 5 / pt 6 / pt 7 (SMUT) / pt 9 / pt 10 (SMUT)

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x reader

Description: Cooper exposes his jealous side as they find out Moldaver’s location.

TW: swearing, canon typical violence, slut shaming?

I woke up in the morning sprawled across Cooper with a wide smile on my face. He looked so content when he slept, like all the things that had hurt him over the years had never happened. I wonder what he looked like before he turned ghoul. I imagined how handsome he probably was because even after ghoulification, he was still stunning. He must have felt my stare as he slowly opened his eyes and turned his head towards me.

"Mornin', sugar." He mumbled out before yawning.

"Mornin', Coop," I responded, smiling at him before kissing him on the head. "Ready to head out?"

And so, another hike started. I hoped once we found Moldaver we could maybe take a couple of days' break. Honestly, I had no idea how I kept walking after weeks of nonstop hiking, it felt like my legs were going to fall off.

Eventually, we happened upon another town, bustling with life. I didn't try to hide the smile on my face as we squeezed our way through the crowds. I tightly fisted Cooper's tattered duster jacket to make sure we didn't get separated. As usual, he was quiet, he wasn't used to sharing his plans with anyone.

As we approached a small bar, he finally spoke with a stern look on his face. "Stay close, darlin'."

I gave him a small smile in response and happily nodded my head. We slowly entered the tavern, trying our best not to turn any heads. I had no idea if ghouls were welcome here, but considering our past experiences I highly doubted it. As he headed to the bar I let go of his jacket, mesmerized by all the different people I was seeing. Maybe someday I could convince Cooper to stay awhile in a town like this.

"Well, hello beautiful." I heard a voice from behind me. I turned around to see a tall, skinny man with shaggy brunette hair and dark brown eyes.

I hesitated. My first instinct was to tell him to fuck off, but maybe I could get some information out of him so I gave him an award-winning smile before responding. "Hello. Maybe you can help me? I am trying to find out where I can find someone named Moldaver." I batted my eyelashes at him, giving him my best doe-eyed expression.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise as her name rolled off my tongue. He briefly looked me up and down as if trying to ascertain if I was friend or foe. After a brief pause, he asked, "You lookin' da join er?"

I nodded quickly, trying to hide the fact that I had no idea what I was talking about.

"Well," He continued. "Today is ya lucky day. I could take ya to er. We are real close." He boasted. The lie about their relationship was clear on his tongue.

"That's amazing!" I faked amazement, trying to milk his attraction for more information. "Where is she?"

"In da hills." He continued to spill information like a fountain without a second thought. "My name is Roofus, by the way."

I hummed for a moment before responding, "Nice to meet ya." I mumbled while looking around for Cooper. Our eyes finally locked as I found him leaning back against the bar. His arms were crossed and his hat was tilted down, I could barely see his eyes peeking out from behind it. Anger radiated from his form, causing those around him to instinctively find somewhere else to stand. I gulped nervously as I took him in.

"Hey-" Roofus waved his hand in front of my face, catching my attention again. 'That guy scarin' ya?"

'No." I answered quickly. The last thing I needed was for this guy to confront Cooper, but he seemed to have a mind of his own.

Puffing up his chest as he started to make his way towards Cooper's imposing figure and ignored my pleas to stop. "Don't ya worry sweetheart, I'll get rid of im’."

I gave Cooper a nervous glance as I saw him straighten his back and move his hand to rest on his gun belt, suspiciously close to the gun itself.

"Hey. Ya scaring my lady." Roofus accused Cooper confidently.

"Your lady?" Cooper laughed loudly at the thought. "She ain't yours."

"This is Roofus," I said quickly, interrupting their conversation. "And Roofus, this man is my friend." I made sure not to say Cooper's name, knowing how protective he was of it. However, this just seemed to piss Cooper off more.

"Your friend?" Roofus asked, surprise clear on his face.

"Roofus, huh? Stupid name." Cooper sneered.

Roofus prickled with anger, but before he could start yelling at the ghoul in front of him, Cooper interrupted him. “See, I heard somethin’ about a Roofus while at the bar here. Said your movin’ some cargo.” Roofus’ anger switched to confusion at Cooper’s words. “Movin’ cargo for Moldaver.” Cooper finished as he stepped closer.

At the mention of Moldaver, Roofus looked back at my nervous form. “Who da hell are ya people?”

“People you should be afraid of.” Cooper growled. “Now, you are gonna tell me how to find Moldaver, or I’ll rip your guts out.”

Roofus’ hand move instinctively over his coat pocket and the noise of crumpling paper was heard underneath, “I ain’t telling ya shit, ghoul.”

Cooper hummed, his venom turning to amusement as Roofus unknowingly gave him the information he needed. Her location was on that paper in his jacket. “Have it your way.” Cooper said before a gunshot rang out in the busy tavern. I squealed in surprise as Roofus’ body hit the ground. The room went quiet as Cooper belt down to pull out the letter from the dead man’s pocket. I looked around nervously as all eyes were on us.

“Cooper,” I whispered.

Ignoring me, Cooper stood back up eyeing the paper. “Damn.” He mumbled as he studied the hole in it before folding it and sticking it into his jacket pocket.

“Cooper.” I hissed loudly as I saw some people start to get up from their seats, anger clear on their faces.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, boys.” Cooper said looking up at the angry men. “Just a bit o’ business, and I got none with you.”

“You better get the hell out of here, ghoul.” One of the men growled before spitting on the ground in front of us.

I knew this would piss Cooper off, so I quickly grabbed his hand and started dragging him to the door. He ripped his hand from my grasp but continued following close behind me. When we finally made it out of the village, I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding. However, before I could register what was happening, Cooper roughly grabbed at my shirt collar pulling me close to him. “What the hell was that?” Cooper growled, staring down at me angrily. “Flirting with other men in front of me? Acting like a slut?”

I squeaked in surprise. Never in a million years did I think he would ever speak to me this way. “Coop, I was just tryin’ to help.” I pleaded, but he wasn’t listening.

“You are MY slut. You understand me? No one else can touch you. No one else can even fuckin’ look at you.” He ranted as one of his fists flew to the hair on the back of my head, tugging harshly.

I gasped loudly at his actions. I never took him for the jealous type, but here he was completely overtaken by it, and much to my surprise I liked it. I pressed my thighs together while I complied, “Yes Coop, I am your slut. Only yours.”

This seemed to appease him as his grip loosened on the back of my head as he pressed his body against mine. “Good,” He hummed. “Never do that again.”

“I wont. I wont ever.” I responded as my hands trailed up his chest and cupped his face softly. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

He studied my face for a moment before pulling away with a grunt. It was clear he was still angry with me. I watched intently as he pulled out the letter from Roofus and read it. I didn’t know it was possible, but his face soured even more.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Cooper mumbled. “I shot right through the damn location.” He said sighing.

“Roofus was the son of an old friend of mine.” He said before looking up at me. “Let’s pay him a visit.”

It didn’t take us long to find the man’s house. As we entered, however, only a little girl was home.

“Well, hello darlin’. Your daddy home?” Cooper asked nicely.

The girl just shook her head in response. Much to our surprise she didn’t seem scared of us. She just stared up at us with a blank expression.

“What is your name, sweetie?” I asked as I bent down to her level.

“Sandra.” The small girl replied.

“I’m an old friend of your daddy,” Cooper said while looking around the small home. “When will he be home?”

“Soon, it’s almost dinner time.” Sandra responded.

At the mention of dinner, my stomach gurgled. My face reddened with embarrassment as I looked down at my feet. “Well, my girl and I have traveled a long way so why don’t you get us some dinner too?” Cooper said while putting a hand on my shoulder.

The girl just nodded in response before heading to the kitchen. I slowly stood up from the ground, giving Cooper a sheepish expression before looking around the home. It was a nice little place. The walls were covered with wood panels and metal sheets, but it was homey, much nicer than the one I grew up in.

As if he could sense my thoughts, Cooper asked, “Remind you of home?”

“This ain’t nothin’ like my home.” I responded quickly as I studied the shelf on the wall. “Much nicer.”

He hummed quietly before sitting down at the table and placing his hat down next to him. I waited there in silence for a bit, the only noises to be heard was from Sandra puttering in the kitchen. “What are you gonna do?” I asked as I sat down at the table next to him.

He studied my face for a moment before responding, “Depends on them, darlin’.” I just nodded while I picked at my fingers. I understood what he meant. Whether he would kill them or not depended on if they complied or not. A feeling of dread settled in my stomach as I thought of Sandra.

Before I could say anything, Sandra returned with two plates of dinner. I looked up at her in surprise at the contents. Wonderful smelling meats graced the plate in from of me, brahman maybe? And definitely some chicken. “Thank you, Sandra!” I said excitedly as I grabbed the silverware from her hands. I can’t even remember the last time I had a meal that looked this good.

Sandra didn’t respond, instead disappearing back into the kitchen quietly. I quickly started cutting up the meat, a grin plastered over my face. I heard Cooper chuckle next to me, no doubt amused at my excitement, but I paid him no mind. He slowly followed suit, cutting up his meat slowly as he watched me. As the brahman hit my tongue I moaned with happiness. After weeks of iguana and jerky, this felt like a meal fit for a king.

The door swung open as a man and a young boy entered the building, a look of confusion on their faces. I ignored them as I continued to eat happily. I trusted Cooper to handle it, but he stayed quiet as well, just staring at the man and slowly bringing the meat to his mouth.

“Sandra?” The man called out only to be greeted with silence. I looked up at him and then over to Cooper who was maintaining eye contact with him. Before he could call out again, Sandra’s footsteps could be heard as she entered the room with two glasses of water in her hands. She quietly put them on the table. Her father visibly deflated with relief at the sight of her.

“Thank you, darlin’.” Cooper said to her before looking back up at the father, “Oh, wait. You thought?...” Cooper said smirking as he held up a piece of meat on his fork. “Come on now.” He said laughing.

“Sandra, wait outside.” The man said, his voice wavering with fear. The girl quickly did as she was told.

“Lead farmin’, huh?” Cooper said, continuing the conversation. “Why, hell, I probably still got some of your lead in me somewhere. But today, I am just lookin’ for information.”

“I’ll tell you anything, as long as you leave us in peace.” The man said. I could tell he was trying to act confident, but his voice continued to waver.

“Say, am I out of date, or did I hear you had three kids?” Cooper asked as he pulled out the letter from his jacket.

“I had an older son, but he’s gone. He took up with that madwoman in the hills two years ago. We haven’t heard from him since.” The man explained.

Cooper smirked as he looked down at the letter, “There’s always some new little faction, ain’t there? Brand new team of believers with their own dumbass ideas about how they gonna save the world. What did you say the name of your eldest was? Was it Roofus?” At the mention of Roofus’s name I instinctively winced, remembering how mad Cooper was at me for talking to him. This didn’t go unnoticed as Cooper’s eyes flickered towards me for a second before returning to the man.

“I didn’t say-“ The man started to respond.

“That must make you Tommy.” Cooper interrupted.

The man looked over at his son before angrily asking, “What did you do? What is that envelope?”

“Well, you see, daddy-o, from what I can tell…” Cooper says clearing his throat. “… Old Roofus got Tommy here mixed up with that madwoman, too. Now according to this. Roofus sent Tommy a stash of caps to pay a courier for the safe transport of an Enclave defector, to that very same madwoman in the hills. Moldaver.” Cooper explained with a smirk plastered across his face.

“Now the problem is, by the time I got this letter off your brother,” Cooper said addressing Tommy, “It was a little bit hard to read.” Cooper held up the letter, peaking his eye through the bullet hole. “For some reason I can’t make out her location.” He looked back over at the father before saying “You really should’ve taught your boy to not play with toys that aren’t his. Maybe you’d still have two sons. Now you give me that location, and I’ll be on my way.”

The man and his son looked at each other before Tommy said, “I’m sorry.”

“Tell him, son. Just tell him.” The father pleaded.

“I didn’t want to spend my life digging through dirt.” Tommy explained. “I want to build something, and we have the chance-“

“Tell him what he wants to know or else he’s gonna kill us all!” His father yelled, interrupting him. “Including your little sister.”

Tommy stared Cooper down. “Huh.” Cooper hummed, surprised by this turn of events. I had stopped eating at this point, my attention turned fully to the men in front of us.

“You should tell him.” I said softly, giving the boy a reassuring look. “Listen to your father.”

Tommy looked between me and Cooper before surrendering. “She’s… she’s at the Observatory.”

“Now please, leave us.” The father pleaded.

Cooper sighed deeply before saying, “So, what you think, Tommy? Am I really walking out of here today, or are you gonna draw on me for what I did to your big brother?”

Tommy’s eyes darkened at Cooper’s words as rage filled his expression.

“He won’t.” The father responded.

“Maybe not today, but someday.” Cooper said, eyes never leaving Tommy. Understanding the threat Tommy reached for the shotgun next to him, but he was too slow. Before I even realized what was happening, Tommy was on the ground, a gunshot through his chest.

“Tommy!” His father yelled as he crouched down over his son’s body.

Cooper stood up and slowly started to collect his things, signaling me to follow. As we passed by the father, I gave him a sad expression but said nothing.

This was just how the Wasteland worked. Kill or be killed.

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