#cw implied trans pregnancy

[callmedylan]

I got bored and made a future Moomin valley AU and gave them all little happy families

So my Moomin valley fixation came back after like 5 whole years, and originally these were just meant to be one off little ship kid concepts but I grew attached to them and the idea of it and eventually it kinda evolved into a next generation AU in the span of like 3 days… Hope I’m not too late to the party chat…

I’ve been thinking up a LOT about this AU, but I’ll just give a basic run down rlly fast:

Lumi and Linna are best friends and basically take over the roles of snufkin and moomin, who are now lumis parents, the AU is very slice of life and follows a lot of the main lessons from the original moomin shows (Especially a veeeerrryyy familiar dilemma about a friend feeling sad over one choosing to leave for the winter)

Lumi is similar to Snufkin where she has a big urge to get away from social situations and be on her own, and can really only spend prolonged amount of time with her parents (or Linna in certain situations). Despite looking almost exactly like snufkin, she acts a lot like Joxter and it’s no suprise the two are actually very close especially considering their equal love for sleeping and hating authority. Despite her love for sleeping and her indifference to the idea of hibernation, ever since Lumi was able to choose she’s always chose to go south with Snufkin. Even if this makes Linna sad.

Linna is much more social than Lumi, and doesn’t mind speaking her mind and having fun with others. She takes after Snorkmaiden with her love for Romance, and often fantasizes about her “Prince Charming.” Linna, unlike Lumi, has hibernated for all her life, even after she was given the option to hibernate or not, she often wishes that Lumi would stay for the winter, but Lumi is insistent on traveling, but the two are always happy to meet again during the spring and go on their normal adventures. She usually acts as the “pact leader” and is often the one leading the games and day plans, but Lumi helps take charge when they are going on adventures as she is best at it.

There’s a couple side characters that are turned into more important roles, like for example in this AU the joxter is actually a reoccurring character !! (Let’s just pretend that Joxter and Snufkin met & rekindle their relationship and so now Joxter gets to be a silly grandfather!!)

That’s pretty much the basic rundown, and yes I did choose to ship snorkmaiden and Ninny, it was last minute but I thought it’d be actually rlly cute unironically.

Anyways Here’s some extra doodles I made cause I wanted to attempt to replicate Tove’s doodling style to finish off this post, so enjoy these!! And thank you for reading!!

[lesbianodysseus]

Chuuya in his mom era

I wanted to draw teen mom chuuya holding a baby, sue me (also Adam and Shirase cameo but in spirit, love this trio so much)

She is very eepy

[galactic-rhea]

The Midi-chlorian essay only a few asked

(or, How Is Anakin Skywalker a walking biological horror)

So I made this post and a few were actually interested, also i needed to write down all of this or I wouldn't be able to sleep.

The way I went just from "hahaha they're just mitochondria before becoming forced symbionts and losing all autonomy" to the Medical Horror that would be Anakin Skywalker .

Let me explain, going from this theory, let me tell you that the average mammal cell can have between 800 to 2000 mitochondria. In Star Wars we're told that the average living being, has 2500 midi-chlorians per cell. The difference isn't that big, so we can assume that mid-chlorians are smaller than our real-life mitochondria, and it would make sense since the mitochondria have the best possible living conditions, whereas midi-chlorians, if they're free-life bacteria (as in, they aren't forced to live in the cells of another being) it would make sense if they're just smaller, let's say, sneaky, to increment their chances at living.

So Midi-chlroains don't just produce ATP, Force sensitives have a minimum of 4000-5000 midi-chlorians per cell. That's...a big number, but not very horrific. See, the amount of mitochondria is related to how much energy the organic tissue requires. The cells of muscular tissue and neurons are the ones with the highest mitochondria count. Also the mitochondria in the neurons are mobile and flexible, because just thinking burns ATP.

We can assume that using The Force burns insane amounts of ATP, so I assume it makes sense for Force Sensitives to have big amounts of Midi-chlorians. But! The problem with this is that we're told that the Midi-chlorians are attracted to the force, not born within it. But any multicelullar organism (with a few exceptions) need the mitochondria. Mitochondria have their own ADN, and they're always inherited from the mother, so we can assume that there's two different types of midi-chlorians: The ones any normal being borns with, and the ones that get attracted because of the baby's force potential. Either that, or both the mithocondria and the midi-chlorians exist simultaneously.

Which means that Jedi (or anyone who wants to know, really) would need to take several blood tests for midi-chlorians count. Because a newborns midi-chlorian count wouldn't be the same through a babie's infancy. UNLESS...The midi-chlorian infection (yes, i'm calling it that) ocurrs already since the pregnancy, if the force is strong enough for a fetus to be a possible force sensitive in the future, then I guess the midi-chlorians would get attracted to the parent during the pregnancy as well.

WHICH BTW, IT FITS WITH PADMÉ BECOMING FORCE SENSITIVE, at least for a while, like the discarded ROTS concepts. But also, would mean, that poor Shmi became a hella strong force-sensitive person as well, at least for a while.

And it would be a biological advantage if we take this route, because it would possibly make the pregnant being stronger and with a higher supply of energy.

It also explains why the jedi would only take a single blood test when the force sensitive is just a baby, because the infection is already settled. It can also be argued, that any baby born with a fairly high amount of midi-chlorians (like the 4000 per cell count minimum) would only increase, if only slightly, as the force sensitive grows because the midi-chlorians will get attracted regardless.

There must be a limit, or more like, a balance, that the midi-chlorian and the force potential of the individual met. As in, there's just enough force within the individual for a certain number of midi-chlorian, and all of this is probably decided already during the fetus formation or very early on the baby's life.

Now, Anakin...would be an abomination. Because his cells are so full of midi-chlorians, that it's scary to think how the cells aren't exploding or downright giving malfunctions to the rest of the cellular organelles.

If we go by the route of "midi-chlorians start infecting the force sensitive host mother during pregnancy" it means there were high chances of a misscarriage or an incompatibility between Shmi and Anakin, because holy cow, Anakin is just too much.

But you know what also, it could potentially mean? That Padmé's pregnancy was a risky one, fron the start -slowly nods-. Luke and Leia's force potential was lower than Anakin's, but there's still a lot to unpack there in terms of compatibility. We are never given the exact count of midichlorian count for the twins, but let's pretend it was low enough for Padmé to not inmediatly have a miscarriage. That, and also, maybe, Padmé isn't strong in the force to manipulate it, but maybe just close enough for the pregnancy to be carried to term, let's say, her midi-chlorian count is 3900, close enough.

Something similar with Shmi, I'm taking for granted that she also had a difficult and risky pregnancy (on top of it being a pregnancy she had no agency). It becomes worse because, unlike the twins, Anakin is just...50% human. The only possible genes Anakin has are from Shmi. So he's probably...genetically, almost a clone of Shmi but with a massive infection of Midi-chlorians (yes, this implies that Anakin has homogametic sex chromosomes, aka XX, there's no other possible explanation because he literally only has Shmi's genes to work with!).

But he's Space Jesus, though,so let's pretend that the "no father genes" helped with this and allowed Anakin to grow into a...normal-ish baby despite it all.

Midi-chlorians must be extremelly small, closer to the size of a virus in this case, viruses vary on size and the way they infect the cells is by hijacking the nucleus, which then can produce more viruses instead of its own proteins. This can vary anywhere between a production of 50.000 to 100.000 viruses produced by infected cells.

Which, btw, still fits somewhat with the mitochondria theory, because mitochondrias are believed to have been from a genus of bacteria called Rickettsia, which used to be believed to be the in-between of Viruses and Bacteria due their small size and extreme endosymbiotism.

Still, we aren't even told how many midi-chlorians Anakin had, just that it was over 20.000 and thus the chart couldn't even register it. Even if we're just counting 21.000 midi-chlorians per cell, that's...a lot. Even if the relationship is symbiotic and positive in nature, that's excessive, an infected cell will usually die faster. So Anakin's cellular death must be on record time.

The life span of a cell varies highly depending of the type of cells, white cells can live about 2 days, others about 5, and then there's others that live about 6 years in average.

Forget all of that, Anakin's cells die anywhere between a few hours and a week. Which also means a super fast regeneration and healing (Hey! that tracks, that's how he didn't die even though he should have, on several ocassions).

But that's not the only problem here, the production of energy is strong with this one, too strong. Again this should make the cells burst due too much ATP because of an increase on osmotic pressure. Anakin is producing so much damn ATP (which we can assume it becomes glycogen stored in muscles and fat tissue) his need to be active and just doing something skyrockets, he might as well be the equivalent of being high on meth since birth.

The accelerated cellular formation and death, gives me the horrific idea that Anakin was probably one of these babies that are born premature, but also that he probably was bron with, idk, teeth and already lots of hair. Maybe that's also why he got so tall of all sudden, lots of cellular grow, huh.

Anakin seems to age normally by what are we given by canon. So despite it all, his life-span or aging doesn't seem to be compromised, this is probably because of how strong he is with the Force. In the sense that...he needs the midi-chlorians to handle this much power, but he also needs the force to handle with that many midi-chlorians, otherwise he would have been already born dead.

See, ageing has a lot to do with stem cells. Anakin's stem cells need to be highly prolific and potent to keep cellular division happening at such a high rate, we can infer that any force sensitive has potent stem cells, so the force must inherently affect stem cells. So Anakin's stem cells must be monstruosities in efficiency. If Anakin donated stem cells to someone else, that person would either have a strong inhumne reaction against them or they would get some of the worst cancer ever seen. Again I'm no expert, but the fact Anakin doesn't develop cancer at all as soon as he was born is already impressive. The rate in which Anakin's cells die must be ridiculous, even has a baby, he must have required tons of energy and endure lots of stress which...tracks. The fact he gets electroshocked, burned, gravely wounded or whatever every week or so, must help him to no develop some cancer, which is a bit funny.

But it would also mean he can go long periods of time without eating or resting like...a normal human. Not saying that he doesn't need it, though, but his neural activity and use of the force must be high at all times to burn out that much energy. Theoretically, the production of glycose and glycogen helps him through long periods without sleep or food so he doesn't get long-term damage, or at the very least the ability to keep going, like I said, maybe is like being on drugs all the time; there's still the need to sleep and eat, but he can push his body to keep surviving beyond what's considered normal without having long-term damage. (Don't get happy, this isn't taking into account all of the stuff that happens to him, lol)

The balance between burning too much energy and not burning enough must be insane as well. As Vader, a lot of this probably watered down because all of his energy must be saved for...you know, surviving all the torture. But as a young teen/man amist war? Oh boy.

I'm not an expert, but I'm theorizing that putting Anakin in an induced sleeep must be...fricking hard. Painkillers that work on him? fricking hard. Anesthesia? Probably the same used for big animals, he must be insane and awful for a doctor to work with! Just imagine it, he probably gets injured in such a way that would have anyone else fall unconscious, but Anakin remains awake and with tremendous amounts of adrenaline triggered by a stress response sustented by the extreme amounts of energy that the midichlorians produce.

When it happens in the central nervious system, excess of ATP can produce neuronal dysfunction. In fact, many degenerative mental illnesses have a lot to do with a malfunction of the mitochondrias. There's a corelation also with neurodivergency sometimes, like autism or ADHD. I will leave it there.

And with all of this...I also conclude that Anakin, on general basis, doesn't like sugary things and doesn't even rationalize why, but is because he has already enough glycose. Having something sugary probably gives him a headache.

God what has Star Wars done to me.

[quesocheeso]

CW: pregnancy implied

I find it extremely hilarious that after it was decided that Xiaotian was more of a natural birth, my psych courses decide to go over the process of pregnancy and child birth like hello???

Now I have a lot of fun facts ig lmaooo

[cloroxium]

i made an specific saw (2004) AU of adam and lawrence being around the same age and diana’s biological parents in the 1990s cuzzzzz errr… i feel we we need to get rid of the insanely transphobic negative stigma around trans parents in fandom spaces.

as a trans parent, myself i hate seeing it viewed so horribly as something that’s strictly only “fmetishized” if ya feel me. real trans parents can be like any other cisgender parents. it’s not weird unless you make it weird. then again… it might be because i’m a trans parent myself. it’s not scary, it’s not gross, it’s a part of life if you choose to take that path. it can be something wonderful if you make it that. there are such amazing moments that come with this experience that i feel people tend to ignore and only see it as a weird fad. trans people can be parents. take me as one. have this cute little AU as an offering to next time, not be so afraid, maybe.

[hill-art02]

Happy Fiddleford Friday, everyone :)

(Yes, Stan's the father)

[mawlbone]

not on theme but what if......

pregnant ghost, pregnant nikto? pregnant krueger?????????

(i need them pregante)

WADDLE - GHOST, NIKTO & KREGUER

SNIPPET: A little peek into the domestic lives of these soldiers and their partners learning to adapt with a little one on the way.

[CW: amab reader, afab characters, and afab terminology usage, no reader’s pronouns mentioned, trans pregnancy, anxiety attacks, vomiting, cramps, slight rutting, implied sex, and physical and mental health issues mention.]

[COMMENT: Thank you for the request! Sorry about writing this so late, I wish to do the shorter asks to clean up my drafts because I am mentally exhausted everyone. Also since I already wrote about pregnant Nikto in “Cracked Cradles”, I advise new readers to read that to get some context for his part. And special thanks to fish for giving me more brainrot for everyone. And there is angst because unfortunately these men are so miserable.]

Before the deep dive, there will be a lot of personal headcanons and thoughts given to each character that I will discuss before divulging into the ask to give more context as to how they will act during pregnancy in the order above. But I will TRY to keep it short and do a whole post about it later to save you the trouble! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

For all what is considered “Simon” or “Ghost”, I wholeheartedly believe at the end of the day, he’s the kindest character in COD because of his upbringing and how he treats people he feels personally responsible for.

If you look back in the Modern Warfare 2: Ghost “Dead Life”, a lot of details are dropped of his childhood such as his father’s abuse, Tommy’s bullying and drug addiction later in life, and how it was only really having his mother defending him from everyone else. In this type of environment, it’s quite easy, hell even understandable for someone to become resentful and lash out. I won’t blame him if one of his main reasons to joining the Air Force was to escape the house once he was old enough.

But despite having to come home to his mother’s distress after his service to the news of Tommy’s newfound drug addiction and stealing to further fund it… He decides to take a long break and still decide to take care of the boy, now man that once too contributed to his troubles along with his father and get Tommy help and kick his father out of the house and declare he’ll be the one taking responsibility for them now as simply Simon.

He’s rational, he understands that his father is the root of everyone’s troubles such as introducing Tommy to drugs in the first place and constantly distressing his mother with his infidelity. And people may think this show of selflessness is only in 09’ Ghost but even 22’ Ghost, he is quite caring such as constantly joking with Soap with his dry ass humor to lighten up the tension during operations. Even dropping his professionalism when worrying about his sergeant during that specific scene when Soap collapses and didn’t hear a response from him with such a soft tone. All of that as if the nickname, “Johnny” wasn’t enough haha as Ghost too. Simon’s kindness never left him even after all his trauma.

He’s such a sweet boy.

Nikto and Krueger, while there is not a lot of detail for both of them canonically, (I cry miserably at this), I do imagine both of them led quite lonely childhoods and joined armed service to find some purpose in their life. Also the both of them having passive suicidal behaviors that never got really checked for their psych evaluation because the higher ups just need bodies at the end of the day to train, not humans.

Look, Nikto is considered still so useful and effective that the bosses declare him too valuable to waste post torture which is scary to think about, so I won’t be surprised if Kreuger has some issues of his own that he keeps covered underneath that mask of his. I’ll write a whole analysis for them later too like Simon’s because I love them too! But this is already getting too long, so hope you enjoy domestic life with them.

Ghost

Being with Ghost means that you will have to deal with death constantly at the steps of your door with the life he leads. So he will be the type of person who absolutely will refuse to get pregnant unless he’s retired or has some 30 step plan in place to keep himself safe during it. Listen, he’s older and more experienced now, therefore that means he made a lot of new enemies and he already lost his family once, please don’t make him go through it again with you.

Though it doesn’t stop him from contemplating the family life with you still whenever he sees a family on the streets while you’re out on a walk together. It makes him not exactly bitter, but somber if more so than anything wondering if he’s depriving you of that type of joy. He really likes his job, it practically defines him but staying at home and having a family again sounds a bit too good for him.

When he does get pregnant eventually after years of reassurance from you and preparation with the help of Price and Laswell to help him conceal his identity even further and moving somewhere quiet, Ghost will desperately try to be at peace throughout the duration of his pregnancy because he doesn’t want the baby to suffer from all his mood swings, and have issues because of all his hormones screwing with him. He heard it will have detrimental effects on the baby from the few parenting books he picked up.

Alongside this point, I do think the Rileys has a history of mental troubles and the last thing Ghost will want is to carry it down further to his baby. It’s not exactly that he’ll hate his child or his late family if they do inherit it but he will rather they led a much more happier life than he did without feeling like a burden all because he was greedy to have a family again.

He’ll heavily latch himself onto you whenever a nasty thought keeps cracking against his head. Getting all insecure and dealing with horrible intrusive thoughts wondering if he’ll repeat his father’s cycle of abuse onto his baby, it doesn’t help that he already looks so much like him. He will probably beg the baby to look more like you than him because the thought of seeing a resemblance to younger him makes him ill enough to lose any appetite for the rest of the day.

But months of watching you kissing and talking to the bump all while praising him for practically just existing makes his heart feel lighter about the matter when you stroke over his stretched skin and tell him how gorgeous he is still. His favorite however, that makes his heart unbearably warm is when he wakes up in the morning to see your sleepy head pressed against his tummy cuddling into the baby unconscious every time without fail. He doesn’t tell you about the countless photos he took of that moment with the golden light bathing you in warmth and illuminating that shiny ring on your finger.

During the pregnancy phase, you’ll have to move your shared bed to the corner of the room so he can feel safe while sleeping with the wall and you pressed again him, protecting and keeping the baby and him warm from the outside world. One of the many little things you had prepared for him to sooth his worries and insomnia, and when it gets so bad due to your husband’s anxiety, you’ll resort to taking Ghost into the car and driving endlessly throughout the night on long roads and around neighborhoods until the ride lulls him back to the gentle embrace of sleep fogs over his eyes once more. A large helping of sticky toffee pudding also gets him at ease enough to rest happily with how much he been craving sweets lately to end off dinner.

He becomes much more relaxed as he gets further along his pregnancy after his mind becomes more secure, just ditching the pants and wearing loose shorts and shirts around the house because he had enough dealing with soiled clothes due to his leaky chest and numerous bathroom runs because the child keeps kicking onto his bladder to annoy him for not giving her enough attention or when they just kicking Simon to go to you because they miss you too.

So you’ll have to deal with grumpy Ghost who become more needy and squirming to fit underneath your shirt to feel you skin to skin with him. Badgering you and all to help him with his aches because it’s too uncomfortable and he’s tired! Despite those annoyances, he becomes much more playful and all smiles when you decide to work from home so you can watch over him during the last few weeks until his due date. Long slow days where you get to see him sleep more and become louder, already preparing dad jokes and all that jazz.

But it’ll only be his misfortune one day when he laughed too hard at his own lame joke, and causing his water to suddenly burst like a broken dam as you watched in pure dismay, and leading him out the door with the bags to the base’s hospital with your now sheepish husband covering his reddened cheeks.

Nikto

Personally, Nikto in my interpretation has endometriosis and therefore has much more issues with getting pregnant in the first place with the additional pain onto him. So in “Crackled Cradles”, it was basically luck that he was able to get his daughter in the first place with more than enough affection to heal his pain away with the amount of pampering he gotten while pregnant.

With the newest addition in the family now, he’s perfectly content with you being out of his sight while he’s bonding with his baby and doing some housekeeping when you’re stuck in your home office for hours on end, just crying to yourself silently that you cannot be with Nikto despite only being a few rooms away because you have deadlines to meet. But hearing the happy cries and the warm raspy voice of your husband just outside your door motivates you enough to continue on. Even if you have to endure the droning old instructions that your superiors have to repeat continuously.

Days where he peeks into your office to drop off lunch and for some kisses or hearing your daughter crashing in on her walker babbling for some attention from you too, only for her to be dragged back outside as her protests fade away by Nikto’s hand dragging her car back outside are your favorite parts in your life nowadays. If she comes early enough, somehow miraculously avoiding Nikto’s detection, you’ll settle her on your lap for some snuggles while you work.

With the abundance of affection that Nikto receives from you and his daughter, that doesn’t stop him from constantly pawing at your pants though as he whines and demands for another baby from you. You’ll find him begging, all teary eyed for one during his birthdays, anniversaries and even during the holidays because he wants more little you’s running around the cottage. It makes you sigh at his baby fever, especially when it gets the worst during his periods as he drag his bottom against your thigh to relieve his aches, trying to tempt you into knocking him up again, praying for hopefully more than one this time. He became so greedy and it’s your fault that he became like this after keeping him all sweet and warm, so take responsibility why don’t you?

If you wish to be mean to him, you can put on a condom on last minute to ease his aches and watch him sob when he feels rubber instead of you as he curses you for being to horrible to him. Thrashing and scratching up your back because while you’re relieving all of his bad aches, he truly wants another baby so he doesn’t feel lonely again once you two grow old, he doesn’t like the idea of an empty nest in the next few decades.

So you shouldn’t be surprised the next night after tucking your daughter to sleep when you have to face your dear husband sitting atop of your bed, glaring at you enough to kill you twice before you turn your head to see his knife embedded into the empty box of condoms besides him. “Do it properly this time”, you’ll hear him growl as you feel cold sweat begin to drip down your back. It’s not exactly that you wanted to be mean to him, it’s that you will rather save him from the heartache since he’s already at a high risk during pregnancy. But you feel that’s too late to say as you watch Nikto begin to stalk towards you.

It’ll only be a few months later when you are met with a positive pregnancy test in your hand with Nikto with a smile so smug, he practically looks like the cat that ate the canary. You should had already learned to never mess with a dedicated soldier, especially if you are married to one. You don’t exactly have the heart to scold him gently that day for risking his health once again when he’s beaming so brightly at his bump once again.

You decide to hold it in and now just enjoy watching your daughter sleep in between her father’s legs for nap time, trying her best to lay her head as light as possible on her sibling when you came out of your office to check up on them, worried about the long silence for too long before joining their cuddle pile. You’ll take any chance for them to rest, as you gathered more cushions surround them as you continuously had to guide Nikto to go nap as well after spending too much time making matching clothes for the baby already.

Though his skin is already marred with heavy scars from the torture he had experienced, it’s not exactly he’s insecure of them much anymore with the new stretch marks littering about his arms and thighs after his first pregnancy when you made no shame in showing your appreciating by smoothing over the leftover flap of his stomach and helping him bathe and taking over his scarred skin. It makes him feel satisfied with this new life, even if he’s reduced to be more “harmless” now.

He doesn’t get what you mean when you say he looks “beautiful” when he feels all sweaty and disgusting from the labors of pain, but all that matters is the opinions of his children and you in his life, so he’s quite content even if it gets a bit busy and you have to work overtime sometimes to free your weekends to spend time with them, but life is good. He’ll have to get a bigger bed soon to fit everyone later and perhaps do some renovations on the cottage later.

Kreuger

For all what is known and isn’t known about the ever changing operator, under cold lights and the sturdiness of his form, he’s ever so reflective in the way tiny green toy soldiers are. You’ll watch dark beady eyes gaze upon you when he comes crashing into your clinic. And there you’ll become fascinated with the way his back muscles fold under your hands like cheap plastic.

There’s no label for this, that’s just how it works between you, him, and the silence that envelopes you all into nothingness in the long quiet. So as long as no one knows what happens behind the closed doors of your office, this standstill will continue between you and him. Even when the heat becomes unbearably nauseating when teeth meet flesh.

It’s a familiar tango, there’s no rush for you to evade the cloak he surrounds himself with. Always rummaging through your file cabinets to help himself to your snacks, you had since learned to order more of his favorites for him. Greedy bastard…

He’s cute enough to get away with it when he sleeps so soundly atop of you, with his head buried within your neck or in one of the clinic’s bed while you work. But you had been getting a bit worried with how he’ll been more sleepier nowadays. You’ll get an answer a few days later when you hear the familiar sounds of boots hitting tiles, only to be jolted at your disgruntled partner staring at you before sliding the positive test onto your desk.

There’s very little things that Kreuger can keep himself attached to. Constantly switching jobs and names entirely, except for skin and bones. It’s a shame that he keeps resting from his loneliness, he rather not open himself up for a knife to be rammed inside his chest. So forgive him if he’s a bit awkward, foolish at worst with how he tries to talk without sounding like an automated machine. He rather not leave himself all exposed but years of exposure under your hands left him trusting enough to tell you. If he wasn’t, he would’ve ran away long ago.

Arrangements had to be made immediately for him as he heavily insisted on keeping his career and the baby, but it’s fine, you had already understood this long ago when he first begin crashing into your life. Kreuger had always been adamant on having the freedom to move around, so if anything, it’s quite nice to see him more standstill if anything, all curled up and hogging the sheets. You’ll deal with the earful from your superiors later for taking him off the field for a bit.

And with how elusive Krueger is, it shouldn’t be a surprise that his pregnancy is too a mystery as you held his practically nonexistent bump. Feeling over the alabaster skin, you’ll move your hands to his newly formed love handles instead and squish the side of your hips as he complains about how much your child had been squeezing itself into the back of his stomach and them giving him back pains. You’ll laugh though when you gently poke the child to feel them and watch as they push against your hand all annoyed for bothering them. Before Kreuger deciding to grab your own to hold instead.

He’ll heavily complain about how clumsy he feels nowadays, unlike his agileness before, he more or less been could be taken as a penguin on olive oil with how much he has to hold himself onto you now. It makes him unbearably angry sometimes with how bad his legs cramp up and you’re not there to hold him. He doesn’t like anyone else touching him and he already shuns away from most of the base anyways, thankfully his silence is enough to scare most people off anyways. So you’ll try your best to massage his aches away and help him tidy up his scruff when he becomes too tired to do anything.

Eventually when he reaches his third trimester, you relocated him back to your home with him to be more comfortably situated. No longer is he confined to the cafeteria’s slop or your cabinet to fulfill his strange addictions. Here in your kitchen, he can thrive on making his fancy little sandwiches with all types of breads, cheeses, and jams filling up your cabinets now. And other small finger foods like hard pretzels to eat throughout the day. He would rather not deal with the nausea from a full stomach nowadays. But the child seems to be delighted by the taste of apple juice nowadays as Kreuger bemoans about how they are the most active whenever he’s drunk some to satisfy his cravings and kicking him excitedly before resorting back to his spine out of all places.

Desperately needs some quiet or ambient music playing whenever he goes because he doesn’t look the fogginess of his brain screwing with him and despises vomiting, so often you’ll have some gum of smelling salts for him to cool down. It leaves him a little too raw for him to deal on a regular basis. You regularly go on your knees to massage his swollen feet and put socks on for him when he cannot anymore.

While Kreuger huffs and puffs all he wants about the pain, you’ll hear him speak little endearments to the child and catch him sleeping outside with a blanket over his stomach in a porch’s chair, letting the cool evening breeze rock him to sleep. You decide to make yourself cozy and settle beside him in another chair, watching how soften his face had become without the harsh lines of anger and that net casting his face into obscurity. His face become more rounded now, sharp lines turned puffy from sleep and more weight holding onto him. He’s more human than he ever been, no longer that statuesque toy soldier you once knew before. The moment would had been endearing if it wasn’t for Kreuger’s noisy snoring scaring away the birds.

Even with a few rough patches here and there, you’ll watch Kreuger pace around the house carefully as he holds his bump and asking you to rearrange the nursery around to fit his preference. With full drawers and the sight of your sleepy husband partaking in this joy of picking out what he wishes is peaceful. You’ll have to hire someone to help you both for the birth later with how Kreuger’s lack of identity will cause trouble for the baby later, but in the present moment, you’ll simply partake in watching your man trying to choose between the two different floral sheets to align the crib with.

[discoidal]

ZOE ADRIEN SHORT STORY MASTERPOST‼️‼️‼️

1. Divorce And Metamorphosis — A trans woman named Miya introspects. Unfortunately not accessible online. Available on Foglifter Press Issue 7.2 here!

2. This Is How We Get Through This — Teen siblings Marya and Clara navigate divine pregnancy. First published in the Fall 2022 issue of Wrongdoing Magazine. Print issue available here. Also available online here via body fluids lit. CW: teen pregnancy, teen childbirth, cannibalism, religious themes.

3. She's Gone! — A girl named Lucy keeps disappearing. Surreal and sapphic. Published by the Origami Review. Available online here.

4. Your Novel And You — A small, silly, and fast-paced piece about you, your novel, and a series of holes. Published by JAKE. Available online here. CW: gore, implied cannibalism.

5. Hush, Moan — A short and atmospheric read about baby gays in a church retreat. Published in Issue 03 of body fluids lit. Available online here. CW: religious themes, masturbation.

6. Eating Her — Butch lesbian eats her dead robot ex-girlfriend. Less fun than it sounds. Live on dog teeth (dogteethlit.neocities.org) via Issue 3: Periphery! CW for descriptions of surgery.

🌅🌈‼️❤️✨⭐️🥰🔥💿🦈📝🌈🌅

that's it for now! if you've read any of these i would love to know what you think. reblogs rlly help me ! spread the word of zoe adrien. first couple chapters of my novella BABY BIRDS is also available in my kofi for pay-what-you-can and on this tumblr blog (@lactation) for absolutely free. that's it love you!

[velvetvexations]

[CW for mentions of rape, murder, assault and forced pregnancy/birth. Nothing detailed.]

Gonna be real for a moment. I hate every single person who says "trans men (or transmascs) benefit from misogyny/the patriarchy". I hate all of them so much.

Like. Tell that to the trans men who went through FGM. Tell that to the trans men who were married off at 13 and had three kids before even reaching adulthood. The trans boys who died giving birth because of that. Tell that to the trans men and boys who were murdered by their parents and husbands because they showed signs of not being an obedient, submissive (future) wife and mother. Tell that to the trans men who have been "correctively" raped upon coming out, or even just showing signs of not being the "perfect women" they should be. Tell that to the trans men who have been impregnated to force them to detransition. Tell that to the trans men who aren’t allowed to leave the house without a hijab on. Tell that to the trans men who aren’t allowed to speak, go out, do anything without their husbands' supervision or permission. Tell them. Tell them how much they’re benefitting from the patriarchy and misogyny.

But I forgot only white trans men from western countries who’re perfectly accepted by everyone around them and pass the second they come out, and also somehow don’t have and never had a uterus or vagina or at least not any of the problems that often come with that, exist and we’re only allowed to speak on the misogyny in other places as if all people affected by it are cis women, because we all know transmasculinity and being non-binary were invented by white women and girls AFABs TMEs to feel ~*special*~ and it’s not actually a real thing outside of western countries (my best friend doesn’t exist and all…). And just mentioning that some of the people in those countries affected by those laws might not be cis women is horribly misogynistic and means you don’t care for women.

And I’m sick of acting like any of that implies anything about the treatment of trans women. Trans men and trans women aren’t opposites. Two things can be true at once, for fucks sake. Trans men and women can be, even are, in fact, treated horribly at the same fucking time, and both of these things are important to talk about. Talking about the shit that happens to trans men does not mean "so none of that happens to trans women" or "and what trans women go through is nothing in comparison", it just means "this happens to trans men." And that is a full statement.

Not every conversation about trans men needs to include trans women, just like not every conversation about trans women needs to include trans men; same with non-binary people. These are separate but overlapping conversations; and yes you need all of them to understand transphobia as a whole, but trans men talking about their problems isn’t taking anything away from anyone. Fuck.

I'm so mad. Sorry for the long rant. I block anyone on sight who makes these stupid takes but there’s still always more for some reason. It’s exhausting.

I'm sorry anon. <3 I know how frustrating it is.

[snakesartblog]

I spent a day or two digging through BKMN for analysis, and I’ve got some interesting stuff to share! 

CWs: referenced sexual assault, murder, pregnancy

I'm writing this so that anyone could read it and have some understanding of it, even if they haven't read BKMN. This isn’t a formal essay and there isn’t one specific point that I’m getting at, but I’d argue that the central theme of the story is desire vs coercion.

WEGG

Wegg is the protagonist of BKMN and the symbolism around his storyline isn’t particularly subtle. It’s about finding acceptance as a man, especially following loss of bodily autonomy in sexual assault (unfortunately tends to be viewed as feminine). Following debatably consensual sex with the Swans, Wegg is cursed to die every month, a pretty clear parallel to menstruation, and then he “gives birth” to Calum. The connections from the assault to these things, very dysphoria-inducing for many transmascs, and his need to find meaning and masculinity of his own, I think exemplify the central theme of the book.

His desire for  masculinity and acceptance are very present through the entire book. Even his mannerisms and speech seem very intentionally masculinized, especially in contrast with mild-mannered Neighbor. I’d be surprised if this wasn’t purposeful on his part! In a symbolic sense, he finds acceptance and recognition with Neighbor, another trans person, when he explains his need to die each month and Neighbor takes it in stride. Despite the loss of autonomy he experienced and how it continues to affect him, he finds a place for himself among other trans people. Moreover, he’s homeless - lacking acceptance and community - until he moves in with Neighbor, and when he says that he doesn’t typically eat enough, from then on we see Neighbor cook or buy him food constantly. The symbolism here is pretty strong I think! Wegg feels that he is only accepted or loved when performing a femininity that he hates (as victim/messiah for the Swans and also demonstrated in the flashbacks to his past) until he finds others like him. 

NEIGHBOR

Neighbor is a super interesting way to write a trans character and weave transness into their storyline, in my opinion. It’s established from the first few pages of the book that he kills people, but specifically people who he perceives as harmful to others. Despite filling a classic “violent cis man” niche, a serial killer, he’s aware of his situation and power differentials around him and directs his necessary killing towards at least a less harmful route. Even the very first person we see Neighbor kill, in the opening of the book, is heavily implied to be the target because he committed sexual assault against his partner. He also doesn’t kill out of a desire to do so, and the moment Wegg offers his own blood, giving Neighbor a way out from the murders, Neighbor jumps at the opportunity. Compare this with Rarold, who I’d argue is a foil to Neighbor. They’re both relative outsiders in the community, they both butt heads with Tillman in one way or another, and they both kill people - but Rarold kills only because he wants to, he has no need to do so like Neighbor, and he is exclusively seen targeting young women. Rarold represents the sexist violence typically found in the stories of real-life serial killers, and in doing so makes it clear that Neighbor is not that kind of person.

Neighbor’s position in the town is also interesting, especially in comparison to Wegg’s. Neighbor is a member of the Baths community, arguably due to the services he provides for its members, but he’s still an outsider; no one knows him that well, he has no friends until he meets Wegg, and Tillman gets a bad vibe from him. In the context of this narrative about transmasculinity, there’s a lot there - Neighbor passes as a man thanks to his deal with Trudy, and he pays dearly for it with the murders he enacts. He asks Tillman not to disclose his first name, a name he never uses, to anyone following their trip to the Trudy temple “for safety purposes,” a mirror to the way any stealth trans person might talk about a legal name they never changed. Neighbor is accepted as a man in this pillar of the community, traditionally masculine provider role that he’s built for himself, but he’s still an outsider, and knows that he would risk losing the support of those around him were he open about his transness. To maintain his personal safety he trades openness regarding his identity, close relationships with those around him, and his conception of his own morality (he says multiple times that he doesn’t consider himself a good person due to the murders he has to commit). Even so, despite his lack of close ties to the cisgender people in the community and his idea of himself as a bad person, he tries to direct his killing to reduce the harm he’s doing, he helps Tillman find Trudy, houses Wegg, and does chores for, like, half the town of Baths. Despite his position, he clearly cares about the people around him and wants to be a positive influence.

As a note, there’s a bit of Biblical symbolism connected to Neighbor, but it’s not consistent. I couldn’t find a properly reliable source for it, but the internet says that the name Adie was originally a diminutive of Adam. He built his own body, making him his own God, and was cast out from Eden (became an outsider in the community) in the process. His original body was also burned on a cross following his deal with Trudy!

THE GODS

I think the conflict of the story is most concisely exemplified in the conflict between Trudy and Calum. Trudy represents desire itself, as the book very explicitly tells us. She’s the snake in Eden of Neighbor’s symbolism, and her devotees follow her very willingly. Trudy’s religion is decidedly voluntary, she grants her followers’ desires and only takes what they’re willing to give. She requires Neighbor kill people because it’s within his capacity, but Tillman isn’t required to harm others at all - dealing with Trudy is morally neutral and never seems to be forced. Calum, on the other hand, was forced onto Wegg, and represents a loss of autonomy for the power of others. The followers of the two gods are juxtaposed, especially in the ways Wegg and Tillman are treated as new followers of Calum and Trudy respectively. The fight scene between the two gods in the climax of the book is symbolic of the central themes of desire and consent.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I think we all knew this day would come

Brahms mpreg

Pregnant!Brahms x Reader

The can of worms was opened with the wigglestein pregnancy hcs theres no turning back now

I need to rewatch the boy

Notes: Brahms implied to be trans (also based), Reader is GN

CWs: Pregnancy

Oh hohoho buddy you thought he was clingy before? Get ready for it to be taken to the next level, because hes not going to let you leave his sight- he even leaves the walls to make sure of that

His parents likely didnt teach him about sexual education and that stuff- he MIGHT of seen it mentioned in books because I have a bunch that old ass mansion has a library in there somewhere

Of course even before you were expecting you fill him in on it as well as a quick lesson on reproduction- so he at least knows what hes doing as well as what hes getting himself into and risking... can see this as a general hc honestly

Very nasty moods as things progress, refuses to leave the bed at some point and insists you care for him

I said he was clingy but hes also dying for affection and attention, so you better be doting on him the entire time as well as while hes recovering afterwards

You have to ban him from crawling around in the walls at some point because theres just.. too much risk there not to mention the dust and the possibility of him falling ect ect ect

If he wasnt so keen on sticking around you he would have pouted about the wall thing

[k4vehrtz2]

➷...MALE READER INSERTS

GAMES

GENSHIN IMPACT

RESIDENT EVIL

↳ housewarming — top/dom leon s. kennedy

cw: leon has a sex dungeon in his basement and is slightly mean, friends to lovers trope, masturbation, handjobs, oral (reader giving and receiving), chest referred to as tits, nipple play, petnames (sweetheart, angel), praise, cum swallowing, overstimulation, bondage / light bdsm, creampie, slight dumification.

SERIES

CRIMINAL MINDS

ANIMES

ATTACK ON TITAN

JUJUTSU KAISEN

↳ fuck the landlord — top/dom toji fushiguro

cw: pwp, protected & unprotected sex, feminization, breeding kink, discussions of pregnancy, anal, minor degradation, creampie, cockwarming, implied dom/sub dynamic

↳ you're a crisis of my faith — top/dom toji fushiguro

cw: porn with some plot, sacrilege, a copious amount of religious themes, priest! reader, virgin reader ergo loss of virginity, allusion to homophobia / internalised homophobia, unprotected sex, blowjob (r receiving), deepthroating, fingering, riding, creampie, toji lowkey has a corruption kink, use of the nickname 'angel', toji refers to the reader as father once but that is entirely in a religious sense

↳ yours, mines, ours — top/dom nanami kento

cw: mentions of blood due to a minor injury, soft -> mean -> soft dom! nanamin, cucking ergo exhibition bc kuna def wants to fuck you, possessive! nanami, crybaby! vessel! reader, use and variations of the word slut, established dom/sub dynamic, hole inspection, light masochism, dacryphilia, shower sex, minor daddy / sir k., implied age gap n zero prep

MY HERO ACADEMIA

↳ starboy — top/dom shōta aizawa

cw: vaginal descriptions, use of the word cunt, mentions of testosterone, exhibition, age gap (though not specified, both are adults), coach/athlete trope(?), oral (reader receiving), squirting, being caught masturbating, biting, at some point it is implied that shō may have a negative reaction to the reader being trans but he does not.

[melancholicheart]

All This Time- Chapter 8

cw: implied/referenced transphobia, trans male pregnancy (past, mentioned), angst, miscommunication, fluff and happy ending

Simon hears Johnny loud and clear. Nods his head a little and sits back into the couch. He tries to speak, no words coming from his mouth, and he eventually commits himself to silence.

He agrees with Johnny. He doesn’t want to die in the field, lose his life on foreign ground, potentially not even get a slither of his body back to even bury, and he can’t imagine Elizabeth having to cope with that. He doesn’t want her to end up as fucked up as he was.

Before he can comprehend even making a full sentence, his phone vibrates on the chair beside him and Price’s name lights up the screen.

“We can carry on talking later,” Johnny assures, “I know you’re going to want time, Si. Take Price’s call.”

Simon nods and grabs his phone, placing it to his ear and managing a small ‘yeah’ as he answers the call.

“I have answers.” Is all Simon gets. No hello, no ‘how are you?’, just work. “Gaz and I are going to come over, we need to talk in person. I take it you’re with John and the kid?”

Simon mumbles another ‘yes’ before Price can be heard by both men in the living room, “Wheels up in 30. Be with you in about an hour, two tops. Be good to see Soap again, more excited about meetin’ the little ‘un though.”

“She’s great, Price.” Simon mutters and Johnny watches him from the side, a small smile creeping onto his face.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Elizabeth peaking around the corner and she jumps back when Johnny spots her. He smiles at her and beckons her over, the little girl racing to Johnny and jumping onto him as she dives for the couch. He catches her under her arms and swings her up onto his lap. Simon places his phone down and sighs. He turns and sees Elizabeth sat on Johnny, playing with his hair and squeezing his face and smiles.

“Price and Gaz know something.” He informs, “They’re on their way over, wanna talk in person. I bet you’ve missed them, Gaz especially I presume. He’s missed you, I can guarantee that.”

Johnny nods and smiles, cuddling Elizabeth close and nuzzling her chin with his nose, making her squeal with laughter as he tickles her, “Papa stop!”

“Never,” Johnny growls, tickling her more and she shrieks out again, “I’m never letting you go!”

“Daddy, help!” She wails and Simon chuckles, snatching his daughter from Johnny and holding her away from him.

“He’s so cruel to you isn’t he darling?” Simon muses, holding Elizabeth like a baby and kissing her forehead lightly, “Such a meanie.”

“A big meanie.” Elizabeth agrees as Johnny pouts.

“Hey!”

For the umpteenth time in Johnny’s life, time seems to both halt and fly by. Before he knows it, there’s a knock at the door and Johnny’s breath stills completely. Five years. Five fucking years since he’s even spoken to his best friend and former Captain, never mind seen them. His stomach sinks as Simon clambers to his feet and answers the door.

Johnny grabs a tight hold of Elizabeth and stands, slowly making his way to the door too where he sees Price and Gaz. Price is carrying a folder, tucked under his arms, and a casual jacket covers his arms. His facial hair is most certainly within ‘old man beard’ territory now with his hair curling a little behind his ears. Certainly longer than Johnny’s ever seen it.

Gaz is timeless. There isn’t a hair out of place on his head, not a single wrinkle or crease extra to be found. His biggest change has nothing to do with aging at all, more like trauma. Blunt force, to be specific. There’s a bump on his forehead, no doubt aging now since it isn’t bruised, but fresh stitches cover a slight cut in it. Likely from the butt of a gun. Johnny’s own head aches as he remembers the many injuries of the like he himself sustained.

“Papa,” Elizabeth mutters, eyeing the men cautiously and nervously tucking her face into his neck, “They the men in the pictures?”

Johnny nods, “Yeah sweetheart, they’re mine and Daddy’s friends. Uncle Gaz and Grandpa Price. He ain’t really your Granda’, it’ll just drive him mad if you call him that.”

“Soap,” Price says, pushing past Simon with Gaz in tow. Gaz claps a hand onto Simons’ bicep before following after the Captain. Johnny feels like he’s about to be chewed out for dangerous decision making or the likes when Price stands before him until he takes note of the man’s eyes. Relief, “It’s bloody good to see you son.”

“You too, sir.”

Price turns to Elizabeth and holds a hand out to her, “I believe you’re Miss Elizabeth, is that right?”

She nods and gently puts her hand into Price’s, him shaking her hand with a warm smile on his face, “A pleasure to meet you, kiddo.”

Elizabeth wiggles out of Johnny’s hold and runs over to Simon, wanting to be held by him instead, and Gaz takes the opportunity to throw himself at Johnny. Johnny holds onto Gaz and feels tears brewing in his eyes.

“You’re a fucking moron, Soap,” Gaz mutters, “You and Simon. God I’ve fuckin’ missed you, brother.”

“I’ve missed you too, Gaz,” Johnny whispers, “Coulda done with you throughout all o’ this.”

Gaz chuckles, “I bet.”

Simon taps Gaz’s shoulder and gestures to the angry looking child in his arms, “She wants you to stop swearing.”

“Oh shit, uh, I mean, yeah, sure kiddo! Bad first impression of your Uncle Gaz, ai?” Gaz rubs the back of his neck and smiles sheepishly. Elizabeth giggles at him and nods.

“Papa swears all the time!” Elizabeth chuckles.

“No I do not!” Johnny yelps.

Price chortles, “Nothing’s changed there then has it MacTavish?”

“No Sir.” He sighs.

Before long, they’re all well acquainted once more and Elizabeth takes her time playing with each of them and gauging how she feels about them all. She has taken a liking to Gaz, mainly because he does silly voices when she plays with him, but she keeps gravitating towards Price and climbing into his lap when she gets tired.

Eventually, she only wants the embrace of her Papa and climbs up into his arms. She seems tired, presumably from all the running around and playing she’s been doing, and she starts to nod off whilst tucked in between Johnny and Simon on the couch.

Simon, always believing in ‘no time like the present’, turns his attention to Price and clears his throat, “Are you going to tell us what you found or just sit and make small talk all day?”

Price chuckles at the Lieutenants tone but his smile quickly falls, “Yeah it’s- well, it ain’t pleasant stuff.” He turns and looks at Elizabeth who is pulling on Johnny’s shirt and dancing one of her dinosaurs on his stomach as her eyes flutter slowly. “Perhaps she’d be better in bed?”

Johnny nods and goes to move with Lizzie but she just whines and clutches onto Johnny tighter, “Baby, don’t you want to go to sleep? I will tuck you and Ricky in.” Ricky is her dinosaur pal.

She shakes her head, “A wanna cuddle.”

“We’re going to be having a rubbish grown up conversation,” He tries to reason, “Are you sure?”

She nods fervently, “I go sleepy here, Papa.”

“Alright, love, come here.” He holds her more comfortably and strokes her hair softly as she goes back to drifting off. He gestures towards Price and allows him to proceed.

“I’ll cut to the chase then,” Price clears his throat and stretches back into the chair, “Gaz and I did some digging, got in touch with Laswell too. All the calls are recorded and such and, well, the ones from you were locked away. When we listened, it was General Sutton that shut you down. I think he heard about your ‘situation’, John, because the last thing we picked up on was you saying you were expecting before the line went dead.”

Johnny shrinks into himself, “I- I already thought they hung up on me. That was the day I found out, I was sat on the bathroom floor crying and begging for them to let me speak to you or Simon.”

Price nods, “We know, son. Turns out, Sutton had plans for Ghost. Sent Simon out near enough the following day. Every call of yours, every letter, it’s been blocked or returned. Sutton wouldn’t let this slip up. He had heard what you said and knew that if Simon caught wind of it, he would’ve left and he didn’t want that.”

“That prick,” Simon grumbles, “Damn near killed me on those jobs and kept me away from this? From everything!”

“Sutton didn’t want to admit it, but Gaz and I- well- let’s just say we ‘forcefully’ took him, and we questioned him about it. He spilled his own secrets pretty quickly. Told us how he hated MacTavish, couldn’t believe the 141 took him in, hated the image we were giving the military by having John yet he recognised that you’re a bloody good soldier, Soap. He said that with you gone, we couldn’t afford to lose Ghost too and so, he elaborated this whole coverup so Simon would never find out about Elizabeth. Made you think that Simon forgot about you and Simon- he made you think John moved on.” Price finishes.

Simon looks at Gaz who is staring at his lap. He has anger seething from him and Simon recognises that they’re all hurt by this.

He turns to Elizabeth, tucked into Johnny’s side snoozing away, and sees his daughter. He’s not exaggerating when he says he could’ve died. There were a few close calls, a couple near misses and some poor timing over the last few years that nearly stripped his baby girl from ever meeting him.

Just like Johnny said, regardless of what he thinks of himself, his daughter looks at him like he’s made of gold and the thought of dying in the dirt without ever seeing her beautiful face or without ever making her smile the way she does around him almost kills him there and then.

He clenches his fist and mulls over Price’s words. It doesn’t fully sink in before Johnny speaks.

“Y’know when I was a kid and I first came out, I thought about the other kid’s reactions. How I was gonna be treated by them was all that mattered. I didn’t think I’d still be dealing with how people treat me just because I am who I am.” Johnny mumbles, curled up on the couch. Elizabeth is flat out and panned across Johnny whilst Simon is tightly pressed on the other side of her, practically cuddling Johnny.

He reaches behind the couch and grabs a hold of the scruff of Johnny’s neck. He pulls him towards him and Johnny gets the message and rests his head on Simon’s shoulder with a soft sigh.

Gaz clears his throat and speaks up. His tone indicative of his fighting tongue; “Sutton has been discharged. Dishonourably.”

“Good fuckin’ riddance if you ask me.” Price mutters. He clambers to his feet and gestures to the sliding door that leads to the barely-there balcony of the flat. Smoke break. Johnny nods as he strides over to the door.

“Swear,” Elizabeth mutters, “No swearing.”

Johnny and Simon look down and Johnny pouts, “Oh sweetheart, you don’t look comfortable at all. C’mon, let’s get you comfy.”

He stands up and sits her on his hip, her head pressed to his neck as he carries her through to his room.

Gaz turns to Simon, “He’s a natural Dad, huh?”

Simon nods, “He’s fuckin’ perfect, Garrick. Could do it all on his own if he had to.”

“But you don’t want him to?” Gaz asks.

Simon shakes his head, “God no.”

Johnny sits on the floor beside Elizabeth’s bed, knelt on his knees as he ricks her in and makes Ricky the Dinosaur kiss her nose. She giggles sleepily and grabs ahold of Ricky.

“Love you, Papa.” She mumbles, snuggling her toy.

Johnny leans over and kisses her forehead, brushing her crazy hair back as he smiles, “I love you more, darling girl.”

He sits for a while, just watching her as she sleeps. He strokes her hair repeatedly and sighs softly, a warm smile on his face.

The door clicks behind him and his shoulders tense.

“Is she asleep?” Simon’s voice breaks the silence.

Johnny nods. He hardly trusts his voice right now. Simon sits beside him and a hand snakes around his waist, “Johnny? Talk to me.”

Johnny turns to Simon, makes momentary eye contact, and tears immediately trickle down his face. Simon falters but quickly bundles Johnny into his arms and holds him tightly.

“I’m sorry Simon, I’m so so sorry.” Johnny hiccups, “If I’d have just- I don’t know. You would’ve known her, you would’ve been here from the beginning if I’d have just been- if I hadn’t-”

“Johnny don’t you dare say that,” Simon shoves him aside a little and grabs his face, staring into his eyes, “Don’t you think for one second that this would’ve all been fine if you hadn’t of been yourself. We would’ve never met, Elizabeth wouldn’t even bloody exist and you- Johnny you wouldn’t have been you. Shit happens, especially to us, but we’re here now and we have a beautiful daughter to look after. Let’s leave the past where it bloody belongs.”

Johnny nods a little, not breaking eye contact, and the tears just coat his lashes whilst his eyes remain shiny with unshed pain. Simon pulls him in close again and feels Johnny hug back. A slight chuckle sounds from Johnny, “Never thought I’d hear the day you, of all people, would say to leave the past in the past.”

Simon laughs a little too and rests his head on Johnny’s, “Yeah well I’m a little sick of living in the past. I want to live in the present, right now, where I have you and I have Elizabeth. I have the two things I’ve always needed but didn’t know what I was missing out on until I had it. Until I had you both.”

“We need you, Simon Riley,” Johnny sighs, watching his daughter as she breathes peacefully through her sleep. Simon does the same. “We need you so much more than you’ll ever know.”

[the-only-t4t-octorosie-truther]

cw // implied trans pregnancy

I'm posting this here if only to have more t4t octorosie in the tags

[ballparkscubicle]

White Rose Au

Cw: implied csa, transphobia, internalized homophobia, dubious sugar daddy, pregnancy, and implied abuse

Rowan is a porn star, and Adonis is a handyman. They meet in a pretty normal situation growing to be friends and eventually fuck buddies. Though they both want more than that.

Rowan was abused despite being sheltered, leading to his hypersexual tendencies and later work in the porn industry, so when he came out as trans at age eighteen, he was rejected by his family.

Rowan was able to make out with a good chunk of money that he saved and invested, but he picked up a job stripping due to not having any job experience after dropping out of college.

From there, he went through a rough four years, refusing to touch his money out of stubbornness, so he only had the money from stripping.

Eventually, he got a sugar daddy, but it wasn't the best situation. When the man passed away of old age, Rowan was picked up by Adina at the funeral who he knew from his time to being a sugar baby.

Adina let him crash with her for a month before offering him a job as a receptionist, to which Rowan asks if he can be a model for her.

After that, he gets famous pretty quickly and is able to afford to move out and get his own apartment, leading to him meeting Adonis.

He meets Adonis because he needs work done on his apartment, and Adonis is like, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" Because he *watches* Rowan's films, even though he claims to be straight, and now he's working on shit in Rowan’s house!

Rowan is just lounging while Adonis works on putting in a new bath, and then Adonis freaks out internally when Rowan offers him water and a sandwich.

Rowan in real life is a brat, much like some of the roles he plays, so Adonis stalling and not accepting the food and drink makes Rowan annoyed. He says something bitchy after Adonis takes the stuff and Adonis without thinking says "you really are a brat!"

Rowan just looks at him with an "oh you watch my porn" look, causing Adonis to immediately turn around and walk back to the bathroom, lock the door, and quietly eat the sandwich.

Rowan and Adonis eventually become friends leading to them fucking. They develop feelings for each other but don't say anything, because they think the other doesn't want a serious relationship.

They get into a nasty fight before Rowan can tell Adonis he's pregnant. Adonis meets Arlo and they get together. Adonis eventually finds out that Rowan is pregnant six months in, and he freaks out because he is scared Rowan will die.

When he finds out its twins, he thinks that he'll lose Rowan and the babies for sure. After the boys are born, they decide to name them Liam and Ermis. Rowan and Adonis get a townhouse after they officially get together, so they have room for the twins and Mila.

Arlo and Adonis were together during the six months between the fight Adonis and Rowan had, and when Adonis found out Rowan was pregnant.

Arlo was the one to encourage Adonis to go back to Rowan and see if he wanted to rekindle the relationship and get help from Adonis. When Arlo’s job goes out of business, Adonis wants to take him in, and Rowan is like, "I guess that man means something to you. He can stay…”

To which Arlo is so helpful and genuinely nice Rowan starts to see what Adonis saw in him. Arlo becomes a house husband and takes care of Mila, Ermis, and Liam during the days Rowan and Adonis work. Arlo homeschools Mila along with private tutors due to her getting in fights with bullies.

[jacks-dark-oc-stuff]

White Rose Au

Cw: implyed csa, transphobia, internalized homophobia, dubious sugar daddy, pregnancy, and impyed abuse

Rowan is a porn star, and Adonis is a handyman. They meet in a pretty normal situation growing to be friends and eventually fuck buddies. Though they both want more than that.

Edited to add a bit of info.

Rowan was abused despite being sheltered, leading to his hyper sexual tendencies and later work in the porn industry, so when he came out as trans at age eighteen, he was rejected by his family.

Rowan was able to make out with a good chunk of money that he saved and invested, but he picked up a job stripping due to not having any job experience after dropping out of college.

From there, he went through a rough four years, refusing to touch his money out of stubbornness, so he only had the money from stripping.

Eventually, he got a sugar daddy, but it wasn't the best situation. When the man passed away of old age, Rowan was picked up by Adina at the funeral who he knew from his time to being a sugar baby.

Adina let him crash with her for a month before offering him a job as a receptionist, to which Rowan asks if he can be a model for her.

After that, he gets famous pretty quickly and is able to afford to move out and get his own apartment, leading to him meeting Adonis.

He meets Adonis because he needs work done on his apartment, and Adonis is like, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" Because he *watches* Rowan's films, even though he claims to be straight, and now he's working on shit in Rowan’s house!

Rowan is just lounging while Adonis works on putting in a new bath, and then Adonis freaks out internally when Rowan offers him water and a sandwich.

Rowan in real life is a brat, much like some of the roles he plays, so Adonis stalling and not accepting the food and drink makes Rowan annoyed. He says something bitchy after Adonis takes the stuff and Adonis without thinking says "you really are a brat!"

Rowan just looks at him with an "oh you watch my porn" look, causing Adonis to immediately turn around and walk back to the bathroom, lock the door, and quietly eat the sandwich.

Rowan and Adonis eventually become friends leading to them fucking. They develop feelings for each other but don't say anything, because they think the other doesn't want a serious relationship.

They get into a nasty fight before Rowan can tell Adonis he's pregnant. Adonis meets Arlo and they get together. Adonis eventually finds out that Rowan is pregnant six months in, and he freaks out because he is scared Rowan will die.

When he finds out its twins, he thinks that he'll lose Rowan and the babies for sure. After the boys are born, they decide to name them Liam and Ermis. Rowan and Adonis get a townhouse after they officially get together, so they have room for the twins and Mila.

Arlo and Adonis were together during the six months between the fight Adonis and Rowan had, and when Adonis found out Rowan was pregnant.

Arlo was the one to encourage Adonis to go back to Rowan and see if he wanted to rekindle the relationship and get help from Adonis. When Arlo’s job goes out of business, Adonis wants to take him in, and Rowan is like, "I guess that man means something to you. He can stay…”

To which Arlo is so helpful and genuinely nice Rowan starts to see what Adonis saw in him. Arlo becomes a house husband and takes care of Mila, Ermis, and Liam during the days Rowan and Adonis work. Arlo homeschools Mila along with private tutors due to her getting in fights with bullies.