#cw cotard's delusion

[phosphorescentspaceman]

délire des négations - Yoglabs fic

The perfluorocarbon flowed softly through the pipes, a whole building’s respiration as the oxygenated fluid entered and exited a thousand chambers. Xephos watched his own hair flow gently in the mild current, his current face superimposed upon his master clone’s, gaunt and ghoulish, the watery blue glow of the chromatophores dusted across his face making the both of them look even less alive. 

His fingers were cold. He rested his palm against the borosilicate glass - he could feel the smooth texture but - Xephos didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, but he was just as cold as the glass itself. 

He drummed his fingers in a staccato pattern. Four quick. Three slow. Slow, quick. Quick. Slow, quick, another two slow. Slow, two short. Quick. Quick, two slow. He paused, forcefully resting his palm against the glass. Stupid. Stupid, stupid. 

His stupid fucking face was looking back at him, peaceful. The stupid fucker who’d ruined everything by being a fucking moron. He slammed his fist into the glass, again and again and again, his own blood hiding that stupid. Fucking. Face. He was holding something in his other hand. It was heavy. His palms were dry. He was so cold. 

“Xephos!” A broad hand on his shoulder pulled him back. It was warm. He couldn’t look. He didn’t want to see another face as long as he lived - another face with another pair of eyes that were watching and judging and seeing - “Xephos what are you doing -” It was Lalna. He’d stopped talking, a soft, shaky inhale stopping his tirade before it could start. One of those warm hands wrapped around his wrist, lifting it up. It was heavy. His grip was tight. 

His palms were dry. 

“Xephos - Xeph -” Those warm hands gently unwrapped his death grip on the hammer, pulling from his grasp. He was shaking now. Maybe he’d always been shaking. Maybe he’d never stop. Lalna pulled him into a crushing hug and it was better because it was warm and he didn’t have to see his own dead eyes looking back at him.

“What were you doing, gods - how long have you been down here? You must be hypothermic, fuck I’m so stupid, you didn’t come into the lab and I thought you’d taken a fucking vacation day I’m an idiot-” he couldn’t help but clutch into the loose fabric of Lalna’s white labcoat, his injured knuckles staining the crisp white fabric a rusty pink. It must have been a new one. 

It felt like he stained everything he touched. Rotten corpse-blood on crisp white cotton.

Lalna tried to guide him out of the lab, but he couldn’t follow. He was stuck, limbs stiff with rigor mortis he hadn’t earned. The other man simply scooped him up, kicking something heavy and sending it skittering across the floor. He was so warm. 

“Shit you’re light - food or sleep? Fuck -” He fished a pager out of his pocket, quickly typing out a message with a singe hand. ///// commission sec//d clone urgent rush ////hos. The letters didn’t form words. Nothing was making sense. He was dead. He should be dead. He wanted to be - 

He bit his lip to stop the horrible rasping noises he was making. He couldn’t feel it, but warm copper clung to his teeth. He rasped again, unable to stop himself. He felt dizzy. He felt cold. 

“Xeph, buddy - come on, I need something here, please no, keep breathing - Xeph!” No pager anymore, Lalna pulled Xephos’ arm to his own chest, making exaggerated motions of breath. He tried to copy, pulling useless air through an empty chest. The rasping was horrible but he felt better. He didn’t want to feel better.

“Xeph if you don’t say something I’m gonna need to take you to the med bay, you hate the med bay. Come on?” He sounded warped and thin and distant, like whalesong, like the building breathing, like the perfluorocarbon filled pipes in the walls. It was a nice noise. He rested an ear to the breast of his coat, listening to the soft thump and whistle of life as if it could fill him too. 

Lalna was running. 

Xephos wondered why.

[cold--carnage]

" GET. UP. COWARD. "

Cotard's Angel - 4.14.24

[evilmagician430]

comic about cotard delusion (among other things)

[cadaverskey]

[po-1-yb-1-us]

idk what 2 tag my art so that ppl actually see ii Erm anyway cotards solution babey!

[lovedove-valk]

uhm

not going on the art blog yet.

[an-au-blog]

I wondered if I should post this for the longest time but...

The whole plot of One Piece but they're all in an asylum (with zosan and a bit frobin bc i love them)

(Disclaimer: consider all the CW that could come with a mental institution (e.g. self harm, mental illnesses, death, violence etc.))

Listen, listen I have it all planned out!

They call the wing they're in "East Blue" because it's the most east part of the facility and it's painted in blue. They keep the patients in small groups at first so that they don't act out or feel threatened. They call this group "the straw hats" after they let one of the patients propose it (the patients all agreed on it).

Luffy is taken in because he can't discern the difference between reality and fiction and thinks there's a pirate treasure he needs to find. It started after his second adopted brother's death - his brain refuses to believe it, so it creates an alternative reality in which his death was heroic and grand.

Both Nami and Sanji are taken in for self-harm and suicidal tendencies (they both failed to commit suicide, main difference was Nami did it during a depressive episode, while Sanji had tried multiple times but stopped himself every time until he almost succeed but was found by his boss- Zeff).

Zoro is highly delusional, has violent tendencies and has paranoia - he thinks anyone who looks strong is challenging him to a fight.

Brook has cotard delusion (also known as corpse syndrome), where he thinks that his body is dead/dying or doesn't exist.

Usopp is a pathological liar with severe depression. He admitted himself with the encouragement of his girlfriend, who had tried helping him after his mother's death.

Franky is a volunteer, who the patients absolutely love. He helps with renovations as well, since his day job is in construction.

Robin and Chopper are doctors. Robin started working at the institution because she used to struggle with suicidal thoughts and self worth and wishes to help those like her. Chopper is a man with dwarfism and has a nice short beard, so some of the patients with a rich imagination think he's a raccoon dog or baby rairdeer.

Jinbe is the owner of the establishment. Everyone loves him and he does his best to provide his patients with what they need. His favorite food is fish and he often orders or takes it from home to eat in his lunch break, so the other employees call him a fish man or First Son of the Sea. he thinks it's funny.

In group sessions, they all share their experiences and progress. It starts off with just Luffy telling stories of him fighting bad guys and monsters in the sea. His stories slowly started including the rest of the east wing. First it was Koby who was an intern nurse and then it was Zoro - he's selectively mute but nodded in agreement on a couple of the stories that he told.

Then he started including Nami, to which she objected at first but slowly stopped, it was nice to feel included. Usopp joined in with his own overexaggerated stories. Then it was Sanji, Luffy called him the cook of his crew, which was oddly fitting but still ironic. Yes, he was a cook before coming in but he also had a severe eating disorder. He didn't tell anyone about it. Until one day he told Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, and Nami. Luffy made it into a grand heroic story about him surviving starvation on a big rock. Sanji liked it more than having an eating disorder so he accepted it - even added his own spark to it, saying it was Zeff who helped him. (He knew it wasn't true, but he wanted to pretend that he knew Zeff long enough for him to have become the healthy father figure he was deprived of as a child.)

While on the subject of Sanji - he refused to eat. Most times he wouldn't even sit at the table. In the beginning it was so bad that the nurses had to hold him down and force feed him. Slowly he started obeying. It was mainly because they called in either Zeff or Reiju (though he got scared that she would tell the rest of the family where he was, she didn't). The doctors figured he needed a support system but he didn't trust anyone in a white coat and they couldn't ask other patients. Luffy had a thing for freedom and anyone choosing whether or not they did anything... do he was no help. Although on a couple of occasions they would see Zoro taking Sanji's plate and sitting in the corner with him. He would take two bites and feed Sanji one. He refused at first but Zoro told him that "If you don't eat, I won't either." which was one of the few times anyone had heard him talk. Though they had heard him laugh once with Luffy and he responded a few times when Usopp kept asking him questions.

Eventually, Robin came back from her honeymoon with Franky and started bonding with the patients. She became a part of Luffy's "crew" as well. Not long after Franky was welcomed as well.

When Brook came in, he was so skinny that he looked like a skeleton, so when he told Luffy he was, he believed him immediately. Brook is the only one who is allowed to use the musical instruments since he's the only one who can play. Musical therapy turns out to be quite effective, if not for anything else, for calming the patients.

There were a few "incidents" in the courtyard - first with Arlong a few other guards that got moved to another wing, then with some of the other patients. Luffy seemed aggressive on visitation day as well, not recognizing his parent after he went through top surgery, he just called him Crocodile and made up a story about Nami's visitor - her girlfriend Vivi. He would talk about how if she looked pretty like a princess, she must be one and how she was fighting for her country and he would help her.

One of the bigger fights was when he fought Enel - a patient who thought he was a god and had tried starting a cult.

Every once in a while, he'd start a fight and Zoro (and sometimes Sanji) joined in to help their friend. It happened a couple more times until one of the upper-ranked doctors (Dr Kuma) decided to separate them for a while to see if their attitude changed. It was only a few months but it seemed like they got worse. Luffy and Zoro would get all silent and non-responsive for hours sometimes days. Sanji would lose all the progress he made with his eating disorder and would try to find sharp objects to self-harm again. Nami and Usopp's emotional state would worsen as well, having full-blown panic attacks, Usopp developed paranoia and an eating disorder (but he started handling it little before getting released back with the rest of the east wing).

[desirdae-archive]

Please don't content warn for delusions. It can add to stigma and as a delusional person makes me feel like people see me as dangerous for being delusional.

sorry confused af rn? we have delusions and a psychotic disorder? (Cotards syndrome, Brief psychotic disorder, Bizarre paranoid delusions, and Capgras syndrome)

we aren’t “adding stigma” to delusions. We trigger tag/CW delusions due to the fact that mentions of delusions/posts about delusions can….trigger others delusions??? Which we don’t want to happen????

I know you might have come at this with a lot of personal feelings but please maybe try and consider that something that doesn’t trigger you may trigger others ^.^ -???

[galactic-phobetor]

useless thing…

…. Phobetor. Team Galactic member. Personal blog… mind the rotting.

.. bye then.

☀️daylight/toaster at it again, you know how it is

cw/tw for this blog - dead dove do not eat

walking corpse/cotards syndrome, delusions, derealisation/dissociation, disturbing descriptions/imagery of body horror or decay, depictions and mentions of mental illness, death and possibly gore

Phobetor is 11/12, be decent.

On Hand

— Dusk (Dusclops)

— Dawn (Froslass)

— Schnups (Shuppet)

~ Muse will deliver mail rarely but if she ever does, it will be indicated as Dusclops Mail.

~ Anon hate while encouraged is advised to be limited to being related to her being a member of Team Galactic, hate outside of this will only be permitted if I choose to let it be.

~ Phobetor may post drawings at times, please note that these may be disturbing and indicated with the tag ‘Shuppet Markings’

~ She will have a fairly nihilistic view on things going on, however most of this will stem from her cotard’s syndrome and primarily emphasise her belief on herself being dead and rotting away.

More info TBA sorry chat I’m a little busy

[violenthunter]

STACI PRATT

staci pratt / judge / cain / silas

he/him/any (15-17 bodily)

indig afroslavic american

hcDiD aspd schizotism c-ptsd

ISTP 8w7 PhlegChol RCUEI

#2 dead guy (cotards delusion + nonhuman)

staci pratt irl / the judge + others

DNI : proship / anti-anti, radqueer / para, -15 or 26+ unless I int first, basic bigotry, anti-irl / reality check, apoltical, ship jacob & I in og media, discourse acc, media date, endo or pro

BYI : low empathy, ask 4 tonetags (normally /gen /neu or /t), I will not engage in discourse or "explain myself" etc. I will block you if you try to get me to. im a very passionate communist.

Acc CW For : religious imagery/themes, mild gore/blood, weaponry, cigarettes & alcohol

(specific cws otherwise in tags)

☆﹒mediamates feel free to int.

check out the bf - @cullingtheherd

[locksnek]

CW nihilistic delusions

I've spent most of the year experiencing delusions of my own non-existence, I wouldn't say it's Cotard's Delusion but it's pretty close (I think I could have gotten there if I weren't aware that I'm delusional). I know I've been acting really weird, I'm not all there lately and it's quite a lot to deal with. Thanks for bearing with me. I hope I can get back to something resembling normalcy, or whatever passes for that in late stage capitalism, but it's going to take a long time.

[t0rschlusspan1k]

Today, the condition is sometimes referred to as 'Walking Corpse Syndrome'. Although rare, people are still diagnosed as suffering from nihilistic delusional beliefs that they are dead and no longer exist. Occasionally, the condition is characterized by a belief that one is missing essential body parts or organs, as in the a case of a 28-year-old pregnant woman who thought her liver was 'putrefying' and that her heart was 'altogether missing.'

In 2013, New Scientist interviewed a man named Graham Harrison, who had attempted suicide 9 years earlier by taking an electrical appliance with him into the bath, and awoke in the hospital believing he was dead. He said:

“When I was in hospital I kept on telling them that the tablets weren't going to do me any good 'cause my brain was dead. I lost my sense of smell and taste. I didn't need to eat, or speak, or do anything. I ended up spending time in the graveyard because that was the closest I could get to death.”

It was his brain which had died. He had fried it, or so he thought. Doctors tried to rationalize with him, but to no avail. Eventually, Graham was referred to Dr Adam Zeman, a neurologist at the University of Exeter, and Dr Steven Laureys, a neurologist at University of Liège. They used positron emission tomography (PET) to monitor his metabolism. What they found was unsettling.

'Graham's brain function resembles that of someone during anaesthesia or sleep. Seeing this pattern in someone who is awake is quite unique to my knowledge', Dr Laureys told New Scientist. 'I've been analysing PET scans for 15 years and I've never seen anyone who was on his feet, who was interacting with people, with such an abnormal scan result'. [...]

Graham is the only patient with Cotard's Delusion to have undergone a PET scan, and therefore scientists can draw few conclusions about the results since they have no basis for comparison.

The condition has been tentatively linked to bipolar disorder in young people, as well as severe depression and schizophrenia in older patients. Treatment of the condition is varied. Typically, those suffering from it are put on a combination of anti-depressants and anti-psychotic drugs, although electroconvulsive therapy has also been known to be successful.For Graham, psychotherapy and drug treatment has helped ebbed the symptoms of Cotard's Delusion, though it's been a long, hard journey. Over the past decade, he could often be found sitting in local graveyards in an attempt to get closer to death. 'The police would come and get me, though, and take me home', he said.3

Graham is one of the lucky ones. Many who have suffered from the condition in the past have died from starvation, and some have even resorted to pouring acid on themselves in an effort to stop being one of the 'walking dead'. 

Lindsey Fitzharris for Business Insider: People With ‘Walking Corpse Syndrome’ Think They Are Truly Dead

[thelupinboy]

okay, so i've been wanting to write a fic about a character comforting/helping someone dealing with delusions of not being real. and like. ii know what ii experience, and ii know how to articulate that experience. but i dont know how to write about receiving help for it if ii dont know how to help myself and others sure as hell dont either.

someone can tell me as much as they want that "youre real" and like hun. thats not how this works. ii know im not real. ii dont exist. ii never have. stop lying to me. its not helpful in the slightest.

anyways...anyone else with nihilistic delusions / cotards syndrome / deals with derealization- feel free to share about things that either you do for yourself or others have done for you, that help you with these thoughts!!

[relatable-psychosis]

One of my friends brought up that I had pretty obvious Cotard's, and now I'm feeling kinda invalidated, which sucks because they didn't intend it that way, but like... I was trying to figure out what to do for the anniversary of my death that's coming up in like two weeks, and apparently the entire thing is fake??? What the fuck do I do.

I think I understand what you mean by feeling invalidated in a way. I’ve felt that way before when someone told me outright I was having a delusional thought process, and part of me felt relieved someone was interested in and cared about me while another part was upset they had said it like that and frustrated they didn’t understand. I ended up arguing with them that it wasn’t delusional and we had a stalemate debate over it.

It can be rough being suddenly yanked out of such a thing, whether it’s like your situation, or someone believing their world is unreal and a punishment created for them so they’re structuring their life around uncovering clues as to how to ascend it, or someone being certain their voices are special messages to guide them, and other similar themes. It’s something important to us that we’ve invested energy into, and all at once someone else is tearing it down.

In the end, it’s better to come out of a delusion. I’ve talked before about how most delusions appear objectively negative due to immediate potential and likely negatives or problems that will occur later on if it’s kept up. But others should be gentle about it and try to figure out what methods of helping would best click with each of us individually.

There’s an ask answered in the past about Cotard’s which you can read here, if you like ^^ I’m not sure what else to suggest ‘cause I’m not sure what would be good for you. Perhaps talking to this person more, listening to calming sounds and doing introspection, grounding to keep yourself in the present while bringing down your stress, writing in a journal or elsewhere to vent, reading scientific articles about what you’re going through, playing a game, contacting a professional if you have one, etc. Take care!- Mod Alex

[moonshadovv]

Wrote a ficlet for my favorite minor character from Vampyr, Thelma Howcroft.

(cw for general Cotard's Syndrome delusions, believe you are dead or rotting)

Thelma Howcroft was dead. She was most certainly certain of it. It did not matter that she would still stand and walk and talk and breathe and act as if she were living. She was dead. Her insides were putrefying, liquifying, turning to mush and rotting away inside this suit of flesh she was trapped in. No matter how much she scratched at her itchy itchy skin she couldn't get rid of the decay. She could not eat. How could she? Her stomach did not exist, it was gone! She watched day to day as she grew thinner, her muscles and fat rotting away. Sleep did not come easy, not when she could feel her insides bubble and boil into nothingness.

How did she die, you ask? Well it's not any of your concern… But if you must know. It was a horrible creature. A monster of a person. She saw it rip out someone's throat and it certainly came for her next. Now she is dead.

Or perhaps… Not exactly. Perhaps that creature did come for her, perhaps it did bite her. But it did not kill her, not completely. Now she's stuck. Stuck with decaying insides that she cannot pull out no matter how hard she tries. But maybe… Maybe she is like the creature… Maybe all she needs is blood. Fresh, warm blood. It will keep her from decaying, it will stop it, it will save her!

The doctors would not listen, they will not give her blood. They ignore her cries that she is dead, she is a vampire, she needs blood! They give her food but she cannot eat it, she cannot eat it!! They tie her down to bed and force all sorts of tubes into her, they say it will feed her but it is not blood, it will not help! She is certain her stomach is gone, the food will not stop her from rotting.

It doesn't, but the painful boiling in her stomach subsides somewhat --though she knows it must be because her stomach is gone. The doctors promise they will let her go if she agrees to eat. She hesitantly agrees, just to fool these petty mortals. She is a vampire, and one day she will feast on their blood. But for now… she will make them content by eating the foods they present her.

Thelma likes Thomas Elwood. He is filled with as much darkness and despair as she is. He doesn't treat her like the doctors do. He listens to her ravings for blood and nods along and offers his wrist. She tries to bite but she can't quite get enough. The meager blood is not enough to stop her insides from putrefying. She cannot blame Thomas though. She just doesn't have her fangs. She must have lost them as she rotted.

The new doctor is strange. He skulks about at night, much like herself. He talked to her. She told him her story, how she's rotting, how she needs blood, but he is fool like the rest of the doctors. Cotard's Syndrome. What nonsense! She is a vampire, is that not clear?! She needs blood! He will not give it to her.

Yet… He smiles at her. 'I will leave you to your nocturnal activities, mistress of the night.' He listened to her, really did. The other doctors do not. But he did. He does not bring up Cotard's again. Maybe she was able to bewitch him with her vampiric powers, twist his mind, make him believe she is a vampire…

It still does not solve her putrefying...

[holyholyholey]

I wanna post my delusions, so I can get them out of my head, but I don't want to risk talking about them to inspire someone else's delusions. ya feel me?

Just put a content warning up before you write about them. Like:

CW: Cotards delusion, death, nonexistence.

Your vent about your delusions here

Or you could also send them into @relatable-psychosis , theyll take awhile to post your ask but its a space where people know they’ll see stuff about actively being psychotic.