#Cotard

[clusterrune]

i wanted to share what cotard's syndrome is like for me, how it feels and effects me day-to-day, so i thought adding such in it's own chapter would be the best way to do so.

for me, i believe i am either already dead or dying, depending on the day. some days i believe im dead, that mu body is a corpse and my stiff joints and back, the arthritis in my joints and limbs, etc, are the result of rigor mortis setting in, my limbs starting to part from my lifeless body. i often feel as though none of my organs work, the magority of them already decayed and gone or rotting. 

other days i feel like im slowly dying, dificulty walking or functons and mobility in general is due to my body shuttng down for the last moments of breath. my pulse speading up or slowing down could either assure me im still alive a while longer or further the idea im not real or about to die. sometimes feeling my pulse could trigger thoughts like "living things have a pulse, but m not living and i have one, so im clearly not a normal human".

i'll believe my body is only still managing to function or move or do anything at all because dead or not...

continue reading this chapter in my new book, understanding cotard's.

[t00nified]

Gee I wonder what Cotard and Huzzle are talking about! Much appreciation to @fakeghosttv and their patience while I finished this comm for them!

[spoilers-hideout-stuff]

When ponytown

+ my oc and deathbody coded persona

I really love ponytown.

[alastors-left-antler]

cotard (my self insert) teaching alastor to use a phone... he's so patient with alastor and teaches him how to use different social medias... alastor's first photo on his phone is a selfie with cotard 🫶🫶🫶

[lowpolyskeletonz]

Decided to draw @protonpackz Resort Cotard because! Shark robot hot! And I love dramatic lighting >:)

Extra Resort Cotard under the cut :]

[novaloo]

The SELF-iSH album was released on August 23 in the year 2016

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY FAVE WILL WOOD ALBUM YAHOOOOOOOO

[rubsjuice]

This is my new guy, i think im gonna get myself used to posting doodles here too

[tapchitamlyhoc]

Hội chứng xác sống biết đi là một trong các dạng hoang tưởng khá hiếm gặp với đặc trưng là cảm giác tách rời, không còn tồn tại và nghĩ rằng bản thân đã thực sự chết. Những người mắc phải hội chứng này thường có xu hướng từ chối việc được chăm sóc, can thiệp và thường tránh né, lẩn trốn xã hội. 

[deedoo-r]

Did cotard ever consider working for Boeing

[clusterrune]

Cotard's Syndrome

[cotards syndrome]

masterpost of resources for walking corpse syndrome/delusion.

what is it?(link) / is it episodic?(link) / beliefs and causes(link)

possible influences(link) / what its like an how its treated(link) / in the context of schizophrenia(link)

stats(link) / wiki page(link) / wiki overview(link) / special report(link) / case report(link) / 100 case analysis(link)

making sense of cotards(link) / cafepime-induced(link)

an uncommon presentation(link) / a sense of self(link) / are zombies real?(link)

misuse of delusional(link) / frustrating term use(link)

doctors arent helping1(link) / doctors arent helping2(link) / contradictions1(link) / contradictions2(link)

my heartbeat is a phantom(link)

self-awareness and i(link)

carrd1(link)

our book, understanding cotard's(link), contains plain text of these link's content and more, / and we run clusterrune in instagram where we try to write our posts in plain text in the captions.

please let me know if any links fail to work or are douplicates.

i also accept people suggesting things to add

apologies for the lack of ids.

check back again later when we have more!

[nounragamuffin]

Character design in progress of Cotard the Border Collie Lich.

She is mean and gross.

The name Cotard comes from a rare psychological condition where the patient is recorded with delusions they are dead. Its been a condition that has fascinated me since I was a teen and have dedicated some old stories to in the past.

[lailas-in-space]

will wood tma fans wya

[alastors-left-antler]

okay so in our system I (Stel, the host) became Alastor's caregiver, so he wanted to make age regressor Alastor and caregiver Cotard (my self insert) canon to the au we made

Alastor's little age is typically 3-5

he's very cuddly but only with his caregivers. anyone else and he will either attack or cry if they touch him

Alastor loves being called Sweet Pea because his Mama used to call him that

TEDDY BEARS. he loves hugging teddy bears

Everyone expects him to be a very timid and respectful little but he can get SO chaotic. pranks, biting, and not much filter when it comes to swearing

surprisingly, Alastor likes watching modern cartoons when he's little (including adult cartoons but that's because one of our special interests is south park) (we're not sure whether we want to make Alastor liking south park canon to the au or not)

[whattheheckins]

Drawing based on Cotards solution by will wood and the tapeworms

[novaloo]

Inevitable - part eight - The nightmares came true

He paced back and forth, smiling wider and wider, laughing louder and louder. At one point he stopped, still gesturing around. Until the frenzy of thoughts could not be kept inside any longer.

Dr Sunshine began musing, his voice melodic as usual, but with an unfamiliar touch.

"When did I become afraid of the dark?

Are my eyeballs just yet to adjust to seeing the light?

The room I'm in is still the same

The shadows have not rearranged it

No, the only thing that's changed is how I see at night

I fumble for the switch

And strap on infrareds and wish

For sunshine when the morning's somewhere else!..."

For just a line he lost that melodic note, but then it returned.

"But I can't change what time it is

Or dilate my irises

Only what I look at

And I'm looking at myself!...

I am not the sunshine

I am not the moon at night

Well, who else could I be

When I can hardly see?

I am not the sunshine

I am not the moon at night

I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between!"

Then Sunshine laughed to himself, a mad tone to it.

"When did I become afraid of the dark?

Was it when I left the cave and swore I'd never go back?

If we can't see each other, then there's no more use for hiding

I've decided I'll abide it

Why deny the color black?

I'm not a flower

Not a solar-powered calculator

Damn my eyes for seeing what's not there!..."

Once again, for a brief moment his nice tone ceased, before reappearing again. His eyes shined slightly in the faint light coming through the window, expression turning gentler, as if suddenly remembering something fond.

"I'll trade in vision for a practiced intuition!

'Til my fears come to fruition!

I'm not scared!~..."

But as fast as it came, as fast it was gone. The mad smile returned.

"I am not the sunshine

I am not the moon at night

Well, who else could I be

When I can hardly see?

I am not the sunshine

I am not the moon at night

I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between!"

He kept gesturing around. His voice was slowly turning into something of a scream.

"The future must know where you've been

The past predicts the state you're in...!

The present did and will not last!

Is, isn't, was, have, hasn't, has!..."

Suddenly his tone grew gentle as he motioned towards the mirror, expression almost pleading.

"All that I ask is, keep those empty frames

If nobody's in them, then no one is to blame...

For your self-portraits, sign another name

Well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same?..."

The intonation suddenly changed once again, this time into the so very familiar, yet unfamiliar, melodic scream.

"I will be my sunshine!

I will be my moon at night!

Who else could I be

When I can't fucking see?!

I will be my sunshine!

I will be my moon at night!"

His voice cracked a little, and began quieting down.

"I'm nowhere now

There's no one now to... be﹏"

By now, Julie was very concerned. She wanted to check up on Dr Sunshine. But as she carefully opened the door and stepped through, he immediately dragged her to dance. Just as the last time, she did not oppose. Even if for just a while, he appeared like a sane man.

"And if dreams can come true

What does that say about nightmares...?"

Sunshine mused as he spinned along with Julie, eventually leaning extremely close to her. It was almost like a hug. And he finally whispered...

"I'll stay awake tonight..."

For a while they stayed motionless. Finally, they subtly pulled away from each other.

– Julie, my dear, I'd like to ask for your assistance with a certain matter... – Dr Sunshine said, a slightly ominous smirk on his lips.

– What should I do, doctor?

He grabbed a knife from a table, handed it to her and looked into her eyes. As he did so, a shiver ran down her spine. His gaze was absent. Wild. Unfamiliar.

– ...Kill me – Sunshine replied so casually. Like it was a normal thing.

Julie's eyes widened, and her heart started racing. What now?

– W... what...? – she stammered out, still not quite believing her senses.

– Kill me – he repeated.

– I... N-no, doctor, I... I can't...

– Yes, you can, Julie. Kill me.

– Doctor, I... N-no, it is wrong...

– It is not wrong. I asked for it myself. Kill me.

It carries on like this for a while. She keeps refusing, he keeps insisting, but by no means is he forcing her. She cannot handle this thought alone. She cannot bring herself to do it.

That is when Annica returned. The daughter of death appeared behind Julie's back, carrying an old axe, its silver blade stained with dry blood. Her eyes are feral.

She took a swing. With an unknown force, Julie's body moved. The knife was now in Dr Sunshine's chest.

He let out a laugh as he fell to his knees. He then looked up at Julie. His smile was still mad and unfamiliar, but that small spark of humanity shone through his eyes.

– Thank you... – the scientist muttered out before collapsing on the floor.

Julie's mind is screaming, thoughts running a mile a second. She can barely hear Annica laugh sinisterly.

Her legs gave up. She started sobbing as she sat there, right beside his dead body.

The sun began to rise.

***

Cotard entered the lobby, seeing Julie sitting at the small table there, her expression thoughtful and with a tinge of sadness.

– Hello, miss Julie – he greeted.

– Ah... Good day, Cotard... Are you looking for Dr Sunshine?

– Yes, I am. Is he available right now?

– I'm sorry... – she stood up from her seat and walked over to the side of the table, finally raising her gaze to look Cotard right in the face. – ...He's dead.

Cotard didn't even look all that surprised.

– Dr Sunshine is dead? What happened?

– I... – Julie looked down again, struggling to let the truth through her throat. – I killed him...

– Oh? But why? You liked him, didn't you?

She turned around, facing away from him, her eyes shiny with tears, sorrow twisting her lips.

– ...I loved him.

– Then why did you murder him? – Cotard asked, despite knowing the answer very well.

– He... – her voice was trembling slightly. – He asked me to... And then something helped me to fulfill his wish...

– Ah... I see. I shalln't be taking any more of your time then. Goodbye, miss Julie.

And without a word more, Cotard left, leaving the assistant alone as she began sobbing again.

***

Mr Capgras was standing in front of the secondhand vanity that he once gifted to Dr Sunshine, tracing his fingers along the mirror frame.

– And if dreams can come true... – he mused to himself. – What does that say about nightmares?

Capgras stared into his own eyes for a moment before a faint smile tugged at his lips.

– I'll stay awake tonight...

He then left the room, leaving it in complete darkness.

A reflection of shadow glistened inside the mirror.

[geoffmusk]

Self-ish ahh smile