clusterrune

[clusterrune]

i might make a second "are you a narcissist" quiz

[clusterrune]

Hi!

We're pantheons company and were running this eating disorder recover blog!

We occasionally document our own progress it we also share tips, advice, affirmations and more!

We have a short rescource list we hope to grow !

Or inbox is always open and anon is on!

Please see our dni befor interacting

Tagging for promo: @saccharinefreaks @hewasanamericangirl I dont have a lot of mutuals I can tag :(

[clusterrune]

Rescource master list!

Affirmations one

Affirmations two

Ed's can look like

How to drink more water

Helping a partner

Nausea tips

Song recs

Warm weather

Why we dont tw food

Where to find iron

YouTube distractions while you eat

To be updated in the future!

Stay tuned for more posts!

[clusterrune]

hey! sorry to say, but in your "npd safe blogs" post the foolishnpd account has been deactivated for about a year now ☹️ not sure when you'll see or reply to this, but just wanted to let you know.

have not been too active on this blog but i will get around to making an updated version of the list at some point

theres a lot of new blogs and we have not had the energy or motivation for running this blog in quite a bit. especially with starting uni in the fall and our home and finiancial situation being bad right now.

thank you, both you and others who have still been in our notes providing updates on things, its very helpful. /g

i promise eventually we'll get back to this blog and sharing rescources again

[clusterrune]

Disabled artist - comms open!

[disabled artist - comms open]

Hi! I'm spirit, I'm an artist, physically disabled, 22, and taking commissions! My main is @gravediggerss

Right now I have a visa debt to pay off and medication to buy but I don't have the money.

I have more than just art commissions open on my kofi, such as bracelets, art prints, tarot and more, and I'd be incredibly grateful for any help.

[clusterrune]

My visa limit is 2500 and if I can pay it off I'll probably lose my card.

I need to pay this off as well as pay for medication and food at the very least.

Any help would be appreciated be it donations, commissions, buying from my store or what have you.

It's stressing me out to the point its making me physically ill which is only triggering more flares in my conditions that I really don't need.

If I'm accepted into uni I'd like to not have so much credit card debt let alone only being able to use that by the upcoming fall semester. I'd like to be able to go to my classes instead of rotting in bed but without medication and with all this stress I'm honestly scared wherever I get heatstroke this summer it'll just kill me before that.

There are a lot of things available on my kofi, it accepts PayPal and stripe among others both of which I have accounts set up with.

Examples of my art exist on @spirits-art and on my Instagram cassderolo.

I offer tarot readings, art prints, sensory friendly (pride) bracelets and more.

Seriously anything helps my situation right now.

It's rare that I do any drag shows, it's be nice if I got book once a month but it's more like once in a blue moon ATP. I'm trying to get booked for more, they pay decently especially with tips from the audience. But only for a side gig.

Still out of a job and job hunting, wish me luck I suppose.

[clusterrune]

"how do you hear 'innerworld is not a real place' and still argue with it?"

nobody is denying that an innerworld is not a real place. i mean, obviously we all know it's not a real place, it's called an innerworld or a headspace for a reason, because it's something in your mind.

what we are arguing against is the fact that people say certain things can't happen in them, or that people aren't allowed to have feelings about things that take place in there.

what we actually are arguing against is statements like;

"people need to realize that feeling distressed about things happening in the innerworld is stupid, you did that and caused it to happen"

"___ can't happen in your innerworld, it's not a real thing and just made by fakers"

"stop treating your innerworld as a place of value/stop having feelings about it"

"complex innerworlds are fake"

"innerworlds are entirely your imagination and you make everything in them happen willingly"

nobody is denying that an innerworld isn't a real place. if they are, then that's likely a separate issue and they just need some guidance. but what we are denying is the claims that certain things can't happen, or that people aren't allowed to have feelings about events in their innerworld, or that certain things about an innerworld makes you a faker.

you are arguing with strawman fallacies.

you are using strawman fallacies, taking the opinions and words of others and twisting them to fit your own meaning to find something to be mad about, to find something that'll cause drama. your entire argument is built upon strawman fallacies, your argument is not real or of importance. nobody is saying that an innerworld is a real life place, they are saying things can happen with them. that is all they are saying.

[clusterrune]

Why I dont like the term singlet

[Why I dont like the term singlet]

This post is not to say you cant use it, just to explain why we dont use it personally and are actually uncomfortable with it.

Instead of using singlet, we simply refer to non systems as just that.

As a system we would use singlet for ourselves as another use for the term, a non twin.

We were supposed to be born with a twins but werent, and learning this around the same time as learning our mom had a mascairage before our older brother really hurt. we'd grown up with the idea and claiming to have a twin or older sister before we learned this, we always wanted one, we got our younger sister instead and we dont have a good relationship with her. We learned about the fact that we were supposed to have a twin and the our mom had a failed pregnancy with her first child years after our younger sister was adopted. So it hurt a lot.

We still carry a lot of that hurt and it influenced some of our alter relationships. (Those who know the source I used for this blog theme might see that present, as qingmei is a name lady bai, who I see as my older sister both in source and in my system, calls me).

That said we learned we were a system almost 5 years ago now. Much more recent than the other events, and we'd seen singlet be tossed around in the community just as long of not longer.

We did use singlet before, but because of the other use being for a non twin it didnt feel right to keep using the way we did. So we switched to just non system.

Some use the terms singleton or singlit (alternate spelling and slight pronunciation difference) to refer to a non twin instead, we've known singlet as the term for it longer. More often it comes down to what word you've heard growing up.

Another reason we dont use singlet to refer to a non system is because the person who isnt a system might still be a twin and wouldnt appreciate being called a singlet. Just as a system doesnt appreciate being called a singlet because it doesnt describe them.

I've seen it happen before, where a twin has been harrassed and called a singlet in reference to not being a system and people got angry when said person didnt want the term used. (I wont delve further as I'm sure people know who this references and I dont want to bring up someone elses expirience and name if said person wishes not to be brought up. Just trying to be polite while providing an example.)

Its not okay to get upset when people ask you not to use certain terms on them and you cant police what terms people chose to use instead, as in dont get upset if you're asked by that person not to call them a singlet and dont get upset when someone chooses to use a different term like non system instead of singlet.

Theres reasoning behind it.

A lot of words we use in the system community have different meanings outside a system context.

Singlet also refers to clothing for example. It's fine for people to want to use alternatives.

In fact alternatives are encouraged in a lot of cases. Its not something to get upset over.

Endos and supporters dont interact, my content isnt for you.

Thanks.

[clusterrune]

If there are anymore posts discussing this please send it out way.

Let's talk about headspace and te innerworld. Many people make the argument that it's not real in order to disprove things that happen in it.

Here's why that argument doesnt work.

For many if not most systems, headspace/the innerworld is a real place in the system that us used to (help) manifest alters and better form their sense of self and identity, especially when fragments and splits happen and they need a grasp on their appearance to better form and understand themselves as a start. Plus having headspace to visualize things helps the mind understand what's going on in the system behind the scenes when others are fronting, so on and so forth.

There is nothing wrong with systems treating their inner worlds as a real place, the mind is real, the system is real and so are the alters so the home they have in headspace shouldn't have to be treated as any less real.

And for the matter things that go on in it such as ways alters split and form, ways they interact etc, are just as equally real as well.

This post is written for a discussion I'm going to write up soon I just wanted to place this here in a separate post to better keep things organized. I will follow up on this with a connected topic but I would appreciate it if I could have help finding more posts that discuss headspace and the innerworld, including ways they work etc.

Rescources about headspace, the innerworld and how alters form would be a big help. /g

[clusterrune]

Let's talk about Sysboxes.

[Let's talk about sysboxes]

Disclaimer:

This is just an awareness post, not meant for fighting and whatever you chose to do with this information DO NOT HARASS ANYONE MENTIONED.

Dont go harassing the blog or any of the mods. You can block them or what have you just do not spam them with asks or messages or anything of the sort. If they ask to be left alone then leave them be otherwise that is harassment. Thank you.

Now as many might be aware already, sysboxes is a userbox blog for systems that claims to be anti endo yet has quite a bit of controversy around that and there mods, one mod to be specific though more mods are included.

If you are unaware, this blog has stated they are anti endo, but their mods dont all align with what the blog is supposed to be. A handful of their mods are neutral but there is one that is a pro endo mod.

The problem with this is because if you're claiming to create a safe space for systems excluding endos and then have mods running the blog who themselves violate that claim, you are not creating a safe space and you are going against your own stance by allowing someone to invade.

Below we have screenshots a user sent our partner including their own statements. Apologies for the lack of ids. I hope it's in order.

If sysboxes has not yet taken responsibility for allowing an ableist pro endo "mixed origin" system to be a mod in a space meant to be anti endo then they seriously need to. They are not a victim they are putting victims, that had horrible experiences with endos and follow them, in danger.

But until then here are some blogs that you can follow and support instead that are more transparent about actually being anti endo:

those mentioned are perfectly welcome to ask to be untagged or removed from the list entirely.

@sysboxed , @systiveboxes , @disabledsysboxes , @antiendosysboxes , @sysboxesforsystems , @antiendouserboxes , @systemuserboxes

[clusterrune]

Let's talk Alter Pregnancy.

[Let's talk alter pregnancy]

This is an information discussion post because there are claims going around calling it an endo concept when it is not.

Trigger warning for mentions of miscarriage and rape. Brief mentions as examples no indepth talk.

The how and why.

Key points:

- alters can become pregnant through normal means. Intercourse between two alters in the same sys.

- however there are other reasons at play; Desire for it (from that alter, the system or a shared desire between one alter and another be it from the same system or not)

- a form of coping from something trauma related,

- and a new alter forming.

Most often it is a combination but does not always have to be.

1. Its not an unfamiliar concept to most that alters in the same system can have sexual intercourse, and in some cases this can also result in a pregnancy. Though some alters can still have a pregnancy without it, in headspace with alters splitting and forming it isnt a required factor for every system.

2. For alters or systems who want children, sometimes the system will split children alters for them to take care of ti fill that desire, whatever the reason for the desire may be. But it can also split child alters in the form of pregnancy for alters who have an easier time with the concept of being a parent through birth rather than suddenly adopting a new alter, especially if the alter that split is a fragment and doesn't yet have an identity and may take time forming into a whole part.

For alters in a relationship between theirs and another system, that may desire to have children of their own between them, for whatever reason, the same thing can be said, it can be a full formed split of a child alter who's identity is a formed from a mix of them or a child from either of their systems that they adopted or it can come in the form of one of them being pregnant as said above. A shared desire for children like baby fever between one or more alters either in the same or across other systems.

3. Alter pregnancy can be a form of coping for many different reasons. It can be tokophobia the fear of pregnancy, an alter getting pregnant might be the brains way of coping through that fear, for us that's helped a lot. It can be coping with the loss of a child, if the body went through a miscarriage at any point or if someone very close has, it can be coping with the aftermath of rape, it can be an alter who isnt source separated coping with their loss of children in their source or any number of things.

"But headspace isnt real" argument dispute.

As we discussed before in this post, headspace is very real for many and very helpful for alters especially those just forming and as I explained above, alter pregnancy is another form of splitting alters.

Its just a more gradual formation that helps the system adjust in a different way. A lot if alters form for different reasons, a lot of systems treat their headspace differently. None of this is harmful.

Headspace is just as real as your alters, whether you can access it or not, so claiming that it isnt as a way to argue that the pregnancy isnt real is policing other systems experiences, you doing get to do that.

We cant control how other people treat their systems, what experiences their systems have and we cant get upset when it's different for us and hard to understand.

The brain is complicated and things take time to understand but you also don't have to understand in order to respect others.

Telling another system their expirience isnt real because headspace isnt real is telling them how they should treat their system. You dont know their system, their trauma, their experiences, you dont get to make those claims.

You can decide for your system that it isnt real, that your alters cant/wont get pregnant, you cant decide that for other systems and you especially cant decide that for someone else's alters who want children and who are coping.

To further clarify what I'm trying to convey by saying headspace and things that happen in it are real and that the arguments made against it are what I'm trying to fight, this post makes good points.

Endos, nontraumagenics, mixed origin, supporters and what have you dont interact, this isnt for you.

Endo neutrals and "singlets"/non systems you're on thin ice. Non systems can reblog but not add.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[clusterrune]

・₊✧𝘈 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺｡｡｡ -`♡´-

♡SOCIAL PERSON/CIRCLE♡

✧A Social Person/Social Circle (SOP/SOC) is a Special Person attachment experienced by those with Antisocial Personality Disorder  (ASPD). An SOP/SOC is someone/people the person with ASPD (pwASPD) feels most comfortable conversing with. Speaking to anyone who isn’t their SOP may make the pwASPD uncomfortable, and the conversation may seem dull or bland. While the pwASPD may be indifferent toward most people, they usually have at least vaguely positive feelings about their SOP.✧

[Credit to @clusterrune for this post]

For a full list of Special Person terms, I made this doc for a comprehensible list. If you'd like to use my PD flags as emojis, I made this discord server with them as heart emojis! (Originally made to react to my SPs messages)

[clusterrune]

・₊✧𝘈 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺｡｡｡ -`♡´-

♡SOCIAL PERSON/CIRCLE♡

✧A Social Person/Social Circle (SOP/SOC) is a Special Person attachment experienced by those with Antisocial Personality Disorder  (ASPD). An SOP/SOC is someone/people the person with ASPD (pwASPD) feels most comfortable conversing with. Speaking to anyone who isn’t their SOP may make the pwASPD uncomfortable, and the conversation may seem dull or bland. While the pwASPD may be indifferent toward most people, they usually have at least vaguely positive feelings about their SOP.✧

[Credit to @clusterrune for this post]

[clusterrune]

My visa limit is 2500 and if I can pay it off I'll probably lose my card.

I need to pay this off as well as pay for medication and food at the very least.

Any help would be appreciated be it donations, commissions, buying from my store or what have you.

It's stressing me out to the point its making me physically ill which is only triggering more flares in my conditions that I really don't need.

If I'm accepted into uni I'd like to not have so much credit card debt let alone only being able to use that by the upcoming fall semester. I'd like to be able to go to my classes instead of rotting in bed but without medication and with all this stress I'm honestly scared wherever I get heatstroke this summer it'll just kill me before that.

There are a lot of things available on my kofi, it accepts PayPal and stripe among others both of which I have accounts set up with.

Examples of my art exist on @spirits-art and on my Instagram cassderolo.

I offer tarot readings, art prints, sensory friendly (pride) bracelets and more.

Seriously anything helps my situation right now.

It's rare that I do any drag shows, it's be nice if I got book once a month but it's more like once in a blue moon ATP. I'm trying to get booked for more, they pay decently especially with tips from the audience. But only for a side gig.

Still out of a job and job hunting, wish me luck I suppose.

[clusterrune]

Not necessarily a hot take but I think instead of systems only using the argument that DID is as common as being ginger, we should start using the fact that even researched books say that dissociative disorders are under-diagnosed, including DID!

According to the book Finding Solid Ground: Overcoming Obstacles, DDs are under-diagnosed. One study they added said that out of 29% of patients at an urban clinic in the US that qualified to be diagnosed with a DD, only 5% of those patients got diagnosed. (Page 13)

From another study the book includes on page 11, "DDs are comorbid in 41% to 72% of [pwBPD], and studies have found that as many as 53% to 72.5% of patients entering treatment for BPD have a comorbid DD, with 11% meeting the criteria for DID."

In the epidemiology section from BPD source* "Nationwide epidemiologic studies estimate the prevalence of BPD in the general population between 0.7% and 2.7%, with symptoms usually manifesting in early adulthood. In primary care, the prevalence is 6%, and the rate is 11% to 12% in outpatient psychiatric clinics and 22% for psychiatric inpatients" 11% of these people can meet the criteria of DID. * https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK430883/

-𖦹

i think this is reality interesting, and you do have a point. DID is more common than people think, not only because statistics are odd, but also because it's really under diagnosed and I mean, some doctors don't even believe it exists, so you know 🤷

[clusterrune]

✦　˚BPD resources

All of the links below are either resources, research, and/or tips/help for people with BPD.

Found any outdated links, or any links that include misinformation? Please let me know!

✦ Resources/Miscellaneous

Basic info about BPD

(Book)  Stronger than BPD by Debbie Corso

What is splitting?

Positive BPD traits

The DBT Travel Guide app - Apple / Google Play

Ways to rephrase your sentences

Your disorder does not make you evil (positivity!)

(Podcast) How I saved my own life

✦ About BPD

The DSM-5 criteria for BPD

BPD glossary; Terms and more

Types of BPD

What is BPD?

What does FP (favourite person) mean?

What exactly is splitting?

Safety and Rapid attachment in BPD

Basics of BPD

Understanding Borderlines by @clusterrune

Help to soothe Paranoia found in BPD

✦ Recovery Resources

The Emotion wheel

Setting Boundaries

Getting through feelings of rage

Challenging irrational thoughts

If you feel like you're about to be unwanted or rejected

An AMAZING list of self-help strategies; The HELP method, types of therapy for BPD, identifying triggers, and more!

Steele's notes on BPD; symptoms, skills to improve, and more

About DBT; Guide and basics to learning about DBT

Early Morning Barking; A (very fun!) YouTube channel about a man named Rich who struggles with both BPD and NPD. He talks about personal experiences and tips.

TIPP; A method for when you struggle with overwhelming emotions and/or urges to self-injure

✦ BPD safe blogs/Informational Blogs

@bpd-culture-is

@bpdsafespace

@epick-cluster-b-blog

@a-sip-of-milo

@cluster-b-culture

@clusterb-besties

@clusterb-itch

Is this list missing something? Please let me know in the comments, or send an ask!

BEFORE YOU COMMENT:

Everybody can use my resources, but keep discourse/syscourse out of our comments. Our anti-endo tag exists for personal interaction. Asks are anti-endo, etc, but as I've said, resources are for all.

[clusterrune]

✦　˚ NPD resources

All of the links below are either resources, research, and/or tips/help for people with NPD.

Found any outdated links, or any links that include misinformation? Please let me know!

✦ Resources/Miscellaneous

Some NPD ( Narcissistic Personality Disorder ) terms: Narc-Supply: The material ( compliments, attention, praise, + etc )... – @delphientropy on Tumblr

Narc Supply – clusterrune on Tumblr

How to deal with Jealousy

BPD and NPD; Key similarities and differences

✦ About NPD

Greenberg's NPD subtypes: The Covert Narcissist

Narcissistic highs vs Narcissistic crashes

Delusions and NPD

Narc abuse and why its bullsh*t

Steele's notes on NPD

Narcissistic Personality style VS disorder | haunted selves

Frequently asked questions

Being in a relationship with someone with NPD

✦ Diagnostic Criteria

NPD Diagnostic Criteria - kindnessoverperfection

Official Diagnostic criteria - shitborderlinesdo

Explanation of the Diagnostic criteria - mischiefmanifold

✦ Recovery Resources

(Book) Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety: Greenberg PhD, Dr Elinor

(Book) Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists: Malkin, Dr. Craig

(Article) 10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders by Dr. Elinor Greenberg

(Website) Narcissismselfhelp.com

✦ NPD safe blogs/Informational Blogs

@enigma-in-reality

@yourlocalnpd

@ndcultureis

@narcissisticpdcultureis

@hammersys

@clusterrune

@hauntedselves

Is this list missing something? Please let me know in the comments, or send an ask!

BEFORE YOU COMMENT:

Everybody can use my resources, but keep discourse/syscourse out of our comments. Our anti-endo tag exists for personal interaction. Asks are anti-endo, etc, but as I've said, resources are for all.