#cw // vent

[catbuggirly]

I’ve woken up cold again, can’t wait for spring💔💔💔

[sacrifiiiced]

Tw sfx

Only makeup

Not real

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Tw blood, you've been warned

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Before & after shower ☆

Time to bandage.

Time to heal.

I could still see the word 'ugly' under the lines, so I wrote a better reminder

I'm 'lucky'

Most people with my illness don't make it to age 30.

I want to get better, for good.

[thunder-wolf64]

Ugh okay I'm about to get very not silly.

Content warning for: Sexual Assult, Body image issues, self harm, probably some depression.

Hmm. I want to talk about this incase I can give strength to anyone else. I know my problems are not as bad as others, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and it's not valid.

Ive mentioned my fear of small children, I've mentioned really not liking a family friend (to a point that being forced to stay in a cabin with them made me feel so bad I dug my nails into my skin and scarred my arm and hand)

This all partly relates to one incident many years ago. I dont remember how old I was? Must have been earlier middle school?

The family friends I'm referring to have a son. He's a lot younger than me. He's neurodivergent in some way, he doesn't have the best idea of social anything.

I was staying at the family friends' cabin, my family and theirs. There was a guest cabin. I had just taken a shower to clean off the lake water. I was standing in the guest cabin looking at myself in the mirror by the beds, brushing my hair. I had major body image issues with good ol' puberty. I hated how I looked and i felt shameful when my shirt clung to my chest extra tight. I knew I would dry off more, and it would be less form fitting. I thought i could just stay in the guest cabin until then.

Then all the little kids, the boy and my two sisters, burst in, chasing each other around as kids do. I was still brushing my hair.

Something immature boys find funny is the word "boobs" he laughed at me and kept repeating the word. I adjusted my shirt as best I could I wanted to tell him off, but I was scared I would get in trouble if I made him upset.

I went back to looking in the mirror and brushing my hair. He ran past, giving my boob a poke as he sprinted out the door, my sisters in tow. That was it. That is what the warning was for. A touch. Over in a second.

I was panicked, I didn't know what to do. I sat on the bed for awhile, crying and thinking of what to do. It felt like forever. And as embarrassing as it is to say... at that time in my mind I felt as if it was my fault, as if I had a sign pointing to me saying "touch me". And with that in mind, I calmed myself down, told myself i wouldn't say anything, and walked back to the main cabin.

And when I walked in, it was tense. The boy was getting a talking to from his mother, and mine walked over to me.

She asked me if i was okay.

I said I was fine, confused. Thinking its not like he shoved me, punched me, hurt my physically. My mind did not corelate the emotional anguish rushing though my head as I felt even more shame that people knew. that they had told on themselves somehow.

I was not okay, i am still not okay. And it really sucks. I can't blame everything on one incident. But oh man can I corelate a lot of my problems with that incident.

Tight clothes made me feel like scum. Ive only ever worn sports bras that leave me with terrible chest pain. I still cant stand a tight fitting shirt, a v-neck. I can't stand my feminine traits. Because that's what got me into the mess in the first place.

Something so small can mess you up so much. And I'm sick of not acknowledging it. Everyone has forgotten or said nothing. And I feel like I'm going crazy.

So if you made it this far, your struggles are valid. Your feelings are valid. No matter what happend, everyone takes things differently.

And i don't know if I'll can call this sexual assault, but it feels like it was, and that's what should matter.

Everyone stay safe

[sisi-chan-draws]

⚠️TW: VENT ART/RANTING⚠️

Don't you ever have such an awful day that it activates something aggresive on you?

Everything around, even the tiniest, smallest insignificant stuff can frustrate you a lot?

Your mind becomes a violent-scenario factory, the cruelest stuff you can imagine are given to those who you love or innocent people, all inside your head, of course.

What's the point on taking it off on someone else? At the end of the day, you're probably going to regret it.

But when that feeling escalates into more...

It suddenly becomes a...

Rage Fit

[thefluxsystem]

There is not a moment that goes by in which I do not despise being a system.

No amount of love for the others, no amount of talking it through, no amount of community building will ever change the torment that comes from a disorder like this.

Every second is a reminder that my entire upbringing was founded in inescapable pain and suffering.

I was broken into pieces before I was big enough to defend myself.

My free will was stripped from me before I could so much as babble.

My life will always move on without me, in spite of me. I will continue to lose people with no option of goodbye. Oftentimes I will never learn why they even left.

Nothing belongs to me. My existence, my voice, my body, all are mine to borrow, but never mine to own.

This was done to me, and for the rest of my life, I will pay for the sins of my perpetrators while they continue to thrive.

All this to be here, to be told I “make this stuff up for fun”. Tell me, what sounds fun about this?

[buriedasylum]

being alive is just so exhausting

[hello-friends9500]

[hexcii]

Awgh

Idk my PTSD and survivors guilt have been killing me these past few weeks

Oh if only I had two robot jesters to hold me through it </33

[catbuggirly]

ITS 3:37AM. I’ve woke up because THATS HOW COLD IT IS, I fill my hot water bottle and have to decide weather to use it on my body or to stop my feet getting frostbite (my feet win) IM SO TIRED, and also just emotionally exhausted like I’m in my hoodies and clutching a handwarmer big give me a breeeeeeak

[bloodyrosesnthorns]

I'm sorry mom.

[thunder-wolf64]

Gugh I'm exhausted.

I woke up with bad nightmare-filled sleep.

First class of the day, dumb quiz

Second class of the day, be the mediator between my friends and people I still want to be nice to.

Lunch, I can hardly eat, want to throw up with anxiety. My friend is making it worse. I find myself with a hot temper...

Class three. Verbal test, shake and shake until it's my turn. Test, I'm a bit rough but I earn 100% so I chill out and immediately go to study for next verbal test.

Class four. A nice break, still anxious.

Class five. I go first so I can't get more scared than I already am. I do badly compared to my peers. My brain won't stop making me repeat the same three words for the rest of the class.

After school: 2nd sib is stuck doing homework aftw4 school. I spe d a bunch of energy helping them and staving off anxiety. Finally done helping sib, need to navigate across three dlors with locked doors, go up and down twice, go home.

Home. tensions high for some reason, I fi d out i probably can't go to a fun event i looked forward to. I give my dogs a bath, they don't like it. But now I'm here alone on the couch, two shivering dogs wrapped in a bundle of blankets across my lap. I think I might take a nap

You all should send some asks for when I wake up :) just chatting preferably, I don't have the energy to draw for others much apparently.

[theangryman]

One person was banned almost immediately.

The other person was not banned until they made another post revealing that they were posting videos of their partner.

One person was harassed and bullied and told that they were lying.

One person was given advice, told about how they could improve their situation.

This is why kink is not safe. There is more compassion and kindness for someone who admits to wanting to kick their partner in the face than there is for someone who has received that treatment.

[panther-os]

"lxc ruined the scene by randomly playing the flute"

in the very next scene, lwj leaves mid-conversation to play his guqin because he's feeling too many emotions, I think it's fair to assume this is a standard lan brother coping mechanism - probably one of the few that are lqr-approved

self-soothing after talking about childhood trauma is a normal, reasonable response and characters being more human does not detract from the story

[evil-sunny-sourzii]

When you feel lonely but you're not alone is such a weird feeling

I have a lot of friends and people who care about me

I thought the loneliness was supposed to go away when I'm not alone

[buriedasylum]

What if they secretly hate me and are forced to hangout with me just so I don’t kms

[pain-is-my-game]

Parents really do traumatize you and then force you to reparent yourself instead of being a capable human being who can contribute to society like a normal person. Sorry I can't get a well paying job right now I'm trying to learn coping mechanisms.