#cuz neither of them can fucking communicate

[mrs-weirdo]

DID ANYONE ELSE CATCH THAT FRAME?? (the one where there kids,)

This episod was- wow.

(I just finally watched it like, a hour ago 👍)

[redr0sewrites]

HSR Characters When Your On Your Period Hcs PT 2!

RAHH PT 2 WITH MORE CHARACTERS SINCE YALL LOVED PT 1 SM

🥀Cw: blood, periods, afab reader, mentions of period sex and smut, non-sexual nudity in himekos, mentions of cramps and headaches

🥀Pairings: jing yuan x reader, welt x reader, himeko x reader, gepard x reader

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

JING YUAN

the minute that jing yuan senses any form of discomfort from u, complete and utter chaos ensues

once he realizes ur on ur period, he immediately takes the day off work to pamper u senseless (much to the irritation of fu xuan)

jing yuan will carry u wherever u need to go, pressing kisses to the top of ur head and whispering softly to u

hes very mindful of ur emotions when ur on ur period, and is great at communicating how he feels and asks u to do the same so that he knows when its ok to poke fun at u and when u want him to just take care of u

he'll switch between joking around with u and trying to make u laugh and taking care of u depending on what u need from him at the moment

JING YUANS HANDS ARE DEF HUGE AND HE GIVES THE BEST MASSAGES LIKE SIR-

if ur feeling tension or pain in ur stomach or back bc of cramps expect him to give u the best massage of ur life

he can and will cook for u <3

he will let u lay with mimi, and loves silently watching the two of u just relax together big cat go brrr

jing yuan will rest with u if ur havinv a headache, turning off the lights and running his hand over ur back as u take a nap

if u need ANYTHING during ur period, say no more bc jing yuan will get it for u

hes has no problem with going to a store and buying pads, tampons, medicine, or anything else u need

when it comes to period sex, jing yuan is always dtf

he def has a size kink, hes fucking huge after all and when ur on ur period and ur so sensitive hes going feral

i feel like he would enjoy mating press in general, but when ur on ur period he especially enjoys it bc he can see how blissed out ur face is and he loves seeing ur blood and slick in a messy ring around his cock as he brings u to ur orgasm again and again

HE LOVES HOW SENSITIVE U ARE AND ABSOLUTELY WILL TEASE U AB IT, IF U GUYS HAVE TO GO TO SOMETHING FORMAL YALL KNOW HES GONNA BE TEASING U MERCILESSLY

thinking ab jing yuans large hand gripping ur thigh, trailing higher and higher to press where u want him, so close but yet so far as he whispers the filthiest things in ur ear. eventually, his hands reach ur pulsing core, pressing down against ur clit through your undergarments and watching u squirm as he circles the sensitive bud, ur pussy is so wet from blood and arousal and he just cant help but want u...

WELT

welt is totally the type to help u track ur period, he is always super prepared for when u start ur cycle and always has products ready

he is a smart guy, he knows a lot ab periods and how to deal w them and is super reliable when it comes to comfort

he also cooks for u, and would bring u breakfast in bed!!! i also feel like he'd be the type to read to u, say for example ur exhausted with all of ur cramps and wacky hormones, he'll lay in bed with u and read ur favorite book to u while the both of u eat the food he made for u

welt probably already has a stash of period supplies for u, but if u ever run out he would prob just go to himeko to get more supplies for u

welt prob has headaches of his own with all the stress he goes through on a regular basis since hes a trailblazer, and would be super comfortable to just lay with

if ur hormones r being wacky and ur upset or anxious ab something, he is a really great person to vent too cuz hes an outstanding listener and always adds good input

if ur having cramps, he already has a heating pad or ice pack ready for u

welt is the type to make u both a pillow fort to watch movies in and read in while ur struggling with ur period, so that neither of u can be distracted

if u ever get blood on the sheets/on ur clothes while sleeping, welt is never grossed out or disgusted. he understands its a regular bodily function, and will give u a reassuring hug before going to wash the sheets /clothes for u

welt is always very careful during sex, and that also comes in during period sex

he wouldnt ever want to seriously hurt u, and would be very careful during period sex

hes constantly asking if ur ok and if ur comfortable

i think welt would really be into missionary cuz its a pretty intimate position for him and he gets to see ur face and know how hes making u feel

EYE CONTACT!!!! HE IS ALWAYS MAKING EYE CONTACT

will not hesitate to go down on u and eat u out while ur on ur period, he will lay a towel beneath u two for cleanliness and then proceed to eat u out like a starved man, working his tongue and licking ur clit until ur seeing stars

pull his hair hard, it will catch him off guard and make him groan against ur pussy

hes really good at aftercare as well, brewing u some tea and running a bath and he'll give u a massage as well

welt would probably be the first to suggest period sex, esp if u had cramps bc orgasms can help w cramps

overall, supee caring and loving

HIMEKO

listen, she's prepared too

himeko has a lot of period products cuz she also has a period (duh) and likes to be prepared and is always willing to share w u

if the two of u are synced up, she will totally be fine with just being lazy all day and laying with u in bed

she enjoys admiring u and the both of u will have relaxing days doing ultimately nothing

himeko would brew coffee for u if ur tired, and would nap with u if u genuinely wanted to sleep

she would give u massages and would prob want one in return, she would def want ur shirt off tho so she can admire ur body while she massages u

she'll press kisses to wear ur having cramps while gently and soothingly running her hands up ur thighs

if ur hormonal, himeko is good to talk too bc the both of u can vent ur stress together and lean on eachother

if ur sad or crying himeko will kiss away ur tears, whispering to u softly and telling u stories ab the worlds shes visited to calm u down

now if someone MADE U CRY.... theyre getting their ass beat

if ur having cravings, she will go to any world u want to get the food u want i feel like she would be the type to have super bad cravings so she always has a stash of comfort foods locked away for the both of u to eat

cant cook for shit tho 💀 she can only brew coffee

yall will bathe together u dont have a choice- she will wash u and u can wash her, she'll sigh and hum softly as u run ur hands through her red curls-

when it comes to sex in general, himeko is either pretty rough or pretty vanilla there is no between

i feel like she'd lean on the vanilla side of things when ur on ur period, esp if shes on her period as well

she has a mommy kink, and loves to "take care of u" during period sex since the both of u are practically insatiable do to hormones

LOVES TO EAT U OUT UNTIL UR OVERSTIMULATED AND WHINING FOR HER TO STOP

I ALSO FEEL LIKE SHE WOULD BE A HORRIBLE TEASE AS WELL, TYING U UP AND ONLY PRESSING A VIBRATOR AGAINST UR WET CUNT AND TELLING U TO COME ONLY FROM THAT STIMULATION BEFORE SHE EVEN ACTUALLY TOUCHES U

she has a lot of toys, and will use them on u since ur so sensitive

a sadistic part of himeko enjoys seeing u cry from pleasure and overstimulation during sex, she definitely wants to ruin u

"aw, ur getting so worked up sweetie" she coos softly, running her fingers against ur wet slick. she pulls back, revealing her hands covered in ur blood. she proceeds to lick them dry, moaning from ur taste as the delectable and filthy act makes u whimper below her...

yo i went off for a second there anyways-

GEPARD

tbh ur prob one of the first people hes ever been with, i feel like he wouldnt have a lot of experience in dating but would try his best, he knows ab periods from his sisters but isnt super knowledgeable on them

when u first tell gepard ab ur period, he would probably instantly hug u

he would ask serval ab anything he didn't understand, and she would tease him mercilessly ab being a simp for u💀

gepard is often super busy with his silvermane guard duties but will take time off to care for u

if ur having cramps or need any supplies, he will go and buy anything and everything that u need to feel better

hed prob buy like 20 boxes of pads/tampons cuz he didnt know how much u neeeded, hes confused but hes got the spirit <3

HE CAN COOK I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL malewife behavior AND WILL COOK FOR U

MAKES U ANYTHING U WANT

if ur the type to workout and go to the gym when ur on ur period to help with cramps, he will accompany u!!!

gepard just wants to make sure that ur comfortable and happy

i feel like hes anothe person whos big on giving massages, he'd blush a little and fumble at first cuz he'd be afraid of hurting u but would be really good at it over time

gepard would play u music if u were tired and needed a nap, or would hum for u softly its so adorable

he understands that u dont say everything u mean when ur on ur period and that ur hormones can make u upset some times so if u guys ever argue he never takes it personally

if hes confused ab something he probably wont say it unless u ask him ab it, he doesnt want to seem stupid or incompetent in ur eyes

hes trying his best!!!!

if gepard heard that orgasms can help with cramps, he would def offer to help u

to yk, ease the cramps. no other reason. totally not cuz seeing u sensitive and needy turns him on...

gepard is SUCH a pleasure dom, he always puts ur needs before his esp during period sex and will make u climax from his fingers a few times before even thinking ab fucking u

would be hesitant to eat u out, but i feel like he'd really like it if u rode his face

gepard would also like u riding him in general, and he is another sucker for eye contact- seeing ur eyes roll back in pleasure from sensitivity only makes him harder, he will start thrusting into u faster, so eager to please u<3

he really enjoys aftercare as well, he'll press soft kisses all over ur body as he wipes u off with a towel and preps a nice bath for u both to enjoy <3

URGEHHRHEHEH THIS WAS SM FUN TO WRITE! i still feel like shit lmao. im considering writing a pt 3 to this if anyone has anymore hsr characters they'd like to req! hope u enjoyed!!

[blue-thief]

Do you think kiis would just speak English to each other to communicate or at least try to learn each other’s first language

( I know Isagi’s English in canon isn’t the best and we don’t even know if Kaiser speaks and understands English but I’m guessing he probably does)

They can’t rely on those earbuds forever

oohhh good question!

once the NEL league is over, they'll be separated for a while, so neither of them will be really focused on trying to learn each other's languages (besides, at this point in time, they'll still hate each other lol).

during that time, isagi would probably have time to properly develop his english.

meanwhile, kaiser probably does know english, or at least enough to carry a basic conversation. idk if it's explicitly required if you want to be a pro athlete, but it is expected you know english. if kaiser knew from a young age he wanted to be a pro, he probably would have taken up learning english early on.

the reason why isagi's english currently sucks is because english education in japan sucks ass 💀 i heard it focuses mostly on pure memorization rather than learning the actual structure and rules of the language. the itoshi brothers probably had to get private tutors to become as fluent as they currently are lmao

even if kaiser didn't learn english as a kid (because honestly i even question if he went to school at all 😭😭), going from german to english is wayy easier than going from japanese to english.

anyway that was a long-ass way of saying "they would speak to each other in english at first". cuz yeah i agree, i doubt the mikage corporation would let the NEL players hold onto the translators once bltv ends.

i DO think they would eventually try to learn each other's languages though. i wrote a bunch of headcanons of how that would look like a while back, but i can't find it anymore bc tumblr's search function fucking sucks 😭😭

on one hand, they could start learning each other's languages after they start dating to show appreciation for each other's cultures and to impress each other's families....

OR it's because they wanted to learn how to insult them in the most personal way possible BEFORE they got together.

imagine they're just having a normal bickering session in english when all of a sudden isagi pulls out the most eloquent, earth-shattering insult he can muster in perfect german. kaiser would be fucking flabbergasted and he'd pull out duolingo later that night just so he can return the favour

a few months down the line, everyone watches in horror and amazement as this japanese guy screams at a german in perfect german while the other bites back in perfect japanese.

they'd get so used to arguing and insulting each other in the other's native language that once they DO start dating, it's just normal for isagi to speak to kaiser in german and for kaiser to speak to isagi in japanese lmaoo

[waterparksdrama]

I don’t wanna be mean, but yeah Iz is totally right in that they’ve been in steady decline since 2020. That’s when I became a fan, right before lowkey as hell, and I remember thinking “omg these guys have three albums already? And they’re this good? They’re so close to actually breaking though, I hope they do”. And then every time they out something out I kept hoping it’d go viral, or that the collab w blackbear would garner attention; nothing ever did. It’s lowkey frustrating bc I truly rooted for them and they were in all the right places. Besties with Mikey Way? Producing with a guy who’s been on tons of popular rock and alt music lately (although it was always terrible when he worked w parx)? OPENING FOR MCR?! But they put out two hugely mediocre albums and Geoff and Otto have all but disappeared from anywhere nowadays. I genuinely worry for their economic state, cuz the money from parx will run out eventually, and neither went to college or have any real abilities that we know of. I just feel like Awsten and his constant label changes and feuds just isolated them from the scene that would’ve taken them in, and now he just relies on a bunch of superfans who buy everything he sells, but they’ll eventually lose interest as well… things looking bleak fam. He’s having his third of a life crisis. I just hope Otto and Geoff are economically stable, cuz although they’re adults and if awsten fucked up, it’s because they let him, I truly feel sorry for them and what could’ve been. Idk perhaps I’m being too dramatic.

idk i feel like they have some collateral at least (god knows how many projects fund an apartment that's at least $3k in la) but whew they're never breaking out of their bubble huh.

i feel like part of this happened not only because of the tone and quality of their albums but also just the shift in fanbase from their 2019 era tiktok virality. like the fans even if they were always on the poppier side of pop punk stans, once they even had a taste of being viral there was a shift in the fanbase that never really recovered because it became mostly pop stans who hone in on numbers and measure success in comparison to the pop stars they like more and don't like when moshing is a thing. and my god can they be easy to get buying things.

another problem can be well. awsten himself since he rewards this sort of behavior by also going out of his way to pick and choose fans for special giveaways or even venmoing them himself which is nice on its own but within a community that leeches off him for attention in any way they can have it from him, who needs money to fund his next insane set of ideas and the validation for it.....things can get pretty ugly sometimes

sometimes idk if waterparks will break out of this. i think what they really need to do is go back to their roots at least for a little because sometimes authenticity is what really gets people coming and staying. awsten needs to stop acting like he's bigger than people sometimes so people would be more willing to listen - iz

[animentality]

It's weird how the Franc Peartree letter being altered has just caused some people to suddenly come out with the most godawful takes. I don't like that the letters were changed but it still feels like such a small change to have caused such a sudden divide in the gortash part of the fandom

Earlier I saw a post from one of the handful of people who were more supportive of the letter change(I think they may have even been one of the people you blocked) claim that default dark urge x gortash felt weird or wrong to them. They said it was because default dark urge is a dragonborn. And they compared dragonborn x human romances to beastiality. And it was a post replying to an ask that was from someone also arguing that, so there's at least two people who think that.

And I just had to stop for a moment after reading that because of how utterly confusing and insane that felt. Like, dragonborn are a humanoid race and are fully capable of communicating so it would definitely not be beastiality in any way

Sorry if I got a bit ranty there, especially since you're trying to distance yourself from bg3 discourse stuff for now. I just really felt the need to just at least mention it to someone because I'm just so dumbfounded by it and I guess just like, feel the need to check to see if this is just as much of a wtf kind of take to others as it is to me

you can tell they don't play DND.

people have been trying to fuck dragons and monsters since 1977.

where's that fucking Tumblr post about how if a creature is intelligent enough to consent, then it's not bestiality?

in a fantasy setting, yeah, as long as they're smart and talking and able to say yes or no and consent or not consent, and aren't being compromised by other forces, then no it's not bestiality in the way we understand it.

also there's no real world equivalent.

wanting to fuck a werewolf doesn't mean you're fucking chihuahuas in real life.

those people are just mad cuz they have bad taste and don't like durgetash.

nothing we can do about that, anon.

you're born with bad taste, you die with it too.

I was blessed with superior intellect and advanced taste, and since you clearly were too, I would advise neither of us be involved with that subspecies of Tumblr.

we have far more important things to discuss.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Never Wanted to Leave Pt. 5

Pairing(s): Tony Stark x Stark!Reader, Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts

Warnings: obvious affairs and cheating, incest, sibling incest, dark themes, fucking in a church?, i feel like steve would want some kind of semi-traditional wedding in a pretty church, poor steve :(, cuckolding, reader is technically a few months pregnant with Cass, unprotected sex, cum dribbling down the leg, i'm sorry, this is simply sinful 😈

Words: 3312

Summary: Your wedding day has arrived yet something is off. How can you be happy when the most important person in your life isn't there?

Requested by @sharp-cheekbones-locked thank you once again for sending story ideas/request for this series 😭😭♥️ i was literally barking at the requests you sent me cuz hot dayum. i hopped on this request so fast

You want to peg your vomiting on the small life growing inside of you and not just a massive case of wedding day jitters.

The moment your friends left the room after helping you get into your wedding dress, you ran to the little trash can to hurl your guts out. You'd taken one look of yourself in your dress and felt ill.

Were you doing the right thing?

You love Steve, want to spend the rest of your life with him and raise your child together. A life where you could live simply.

Palm pressing against the front of your bodice, you can still feel the small baby bump.

Breathe. Just breathe. You remind yourself calmly. Closing your eyes, you steady draw air in through your nose before slowly releasing your breath.

A knock from the door has you jolting. "Yeah?" You're barely able to keep the waver from your tone.

You weren't expecting your brother's voice. "Can I come in?"

Communication between you and Tony was. . . shakey at the moment. The both of you being stubborn, neither broke to talk to the other. Not since you told him about being pregnant and choosing Steve. He was still angry with you.

If he was going to act like a petulant child, you were not going to be the one to indulge him. You didn't make the effort to reach out. Perhaps putting some distance between you and Tony would be a good thing. And it was. You were able to be happy about your pregnancy. A couple of weeks later and Steve surprised you by asking you to marry him. He wanted you to have his last name before the baby was born.

You did the basic things that new mothers and brides to be did. You were already shopping for all the necessities a baby needs to thrive. Then Natasha helped you decide on a wedding gown and would go to cake tastings with you.

There were people available to take up the gaping spot that Tony left in you.

But nothing felt right.

Not without Tony by your side. You wanted to eat cake with him. Bicker about cheesy djs and seating arrangements. You'd find funny wedding videos and nearly send them to Tony before you remembered.

“That baby inside of you that you think belongs to the perfect Captain America could be MINE!”

It was enough to make you angry with him once again. How could he say something like that to you? You were terrified enough as it was when the same thought dawned on you.

And no matter how much you debated sending Tony and Pepper an invitation, you still went through with mailing the letter that you had crafted yourself.

You didn't think Tony would show up. But there he was.

He always cut a nice figure in a suit. Handsome with his hair perfectly styled and beard trimmed impeccably. His features were tarnished by the dark circles that plague under his eyes. The expanse of his face brightens though when his gaze takes in you in your white wedding dress.

You can feel your heartbeat travel up your throat, inviting him in with a quick gesture of your head.

Door closed, your fingers anxiously spin the engagement ring around your finger. "Hey. I didn't think you'd actually come."

He scoffs, finally removing his attention from you to look around the small room of the church that was your temporary wardrobe room. "Like Pepper would let me miss it." Tony mumbles. "Or any other of our friends. Those we have left. . ."

Many seats out there were empty. Place cards carefully placed in the designated spot where your friends should be. Wanda. Bucky. Sam.

Guilt starts to seep into your hardened resolve. Why ostracize the few people you have left? So many were taken from Thanos. You used to think yourself lucky that your brother was not taken.

"I'm. . . actually happy you're here." Difficult to verbally get out how much you really missed him, instead you look up at him under your lacquered eyelashes. Your makeup wasn't perfect. Wanda would have been able to perfect it with her powers if she were there.

Tony's face doesn't change but he whispers "You're beautiful by the way. In the dress." He points at said gown. "Very beautiful."

Damning yourself when warmth spreads across your cheeks and a smile threatens to curl your lips up. You couldn't help it. Narcissism ran in your blood and you always loved when Tony complimented you. "Thanks. It's supposed to look like mom's. Or, as close as possible. I always wanted to wear her wedding dress when I was little. The pictures I saw of her in it were stunning."

"Too bad they didn't save it." Tony smiles.

"Yeah. Guess it's alright. I stopped thinking I would get married anyway when I was seventeen." You admit.

You're not the only one to suck in a sharp breath. Seventeen. That's when you first dared to kiss Tony. The day you absolutely damned both of you. You can see the same thought worming its way through Tony's mind too.

"Tony-"

When his name slips past your lips, Tony advances toward you a broken man. "Don't do it. Please, don't marry him."

If your hair weren't done in extravagant waves, you would have run your hand through it in agitation like you usually do. You couldn't do this again with him. Especially when you were getting married in the following hour. "Tony-"

He grabs your hand, reeling you in closer to his body. Your heart betrays your mind by how it spasms from his simple touch. Harsh calluses on his fingers from decades of working with tools and machinery press against the softness of your wrist. Tony's eyes are glued to your face before traveling to your dress. His adam's apple visibly bobs. Finally landing on your midsection. Dropping one of your hands, his free one hovers over your abdomen.

"We can run away." Tony quietly suggests. "The three of us."

"I'm not running away, Tony." You insist.

Sharply inhaling, Tony pushes himself away from you. He takes to impatiently passing around the small room. You quietly watch him, wondering what he'd do next. Your hands rub at your stomach, feeling sick again.

His broad back is turned to you and you take the opportunity to slowly glide over to Tony and wrap your arms around his waist. Your hug clearly startles him. Hiding your face in his back, you hope your makeup stays on and doesn't rub off on the material of his suit.

"Don't leave. Please don't leave me now. I'm scared Tony." You whisper and tighten your grip on him, fearing that he was trying to get away from you. All those weeks without him were near insufferable. You missed him.

Hook, line and sinker. Tony was weak against you. Especially when you beg him not to leave. The muscles of his back soften against you.

Finally Tony says "Happy told me you were going to walk down the aisle by yourself. Why didn't you ask him to walk you? I'm sure he would have been thrilled."

You shake your head, still holding onto him. "It doesn't feel right." Truth was you wanted Tony to be the one to give you away. Selfish, yes. Maybe even insensitive to your brother's feelings but you couldn't deny what you wanted.

He turns around in your arms slowly to let you know that he had no intention of leaving you any time soon. His palm cups your cheek, careful not to ruin the powdered blush on them. "Well, I'd be honored to walk the beautiful bride to the altar."

You can't help the smile that nearly blinds Tony. "Really?"

Tony smiles in return. "Yeah so you can put your big sad puppy eyes away." His own arms wrap around your shoulders to pull you in. "Can't have everyone blaming me for making the bride cry."

"I'm not-" But you realize a few tears HAD escaped from your eyes and lightly ran down your face. Hastily and using great care, you move out of his arms to fetch a tissue to dab at your eyes.

Helping you with the edge of his sleeve, Tony bats your hand away. He was always cleaning up after you, wasn't he?

"You're a vision. . ." Tony says with a warm smile. His fingers linger on the side of your neck, enjoying the warmth of the veins below the soft skin. You've always loved the feel of his large hand on your neck. "The most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

You were sure you and Tony did something wrong in your past lives to be like this. To feel that immediate tug and pull toward him, unable to resist the call when you're left alone with him. You feel every inch of your skin sing for him to touch you more. Oh you were going to hell for sure.

How appropriate considering you were also in a church. Maybe marrying Steve will wash away all of your sins. Rid yourself of this abnormal love you hold for your brother. You're praying that this would be the cure for you.

But when you don't make a move to put space between you, Tony's eyes darken into something. . . hungry.

Some would say you goaded him on in running your hand up his arm to the swell of his bicep, murmuring a pathetic excuse for a wrinkle on his sleeve you were trying to smooth out. He presses himself flush against you. In doing so, your rear end is basically seated upon the surface of the makeshift vanity desk.

You let him nuzzle his nose against your cheekbone, Tony's lips brushing against your earlobe and hear him ramble "The most beautiful fucking woman. And this dress-" His hand grips at the material of your dress, bundling it up in his clenched fist. You feel the hem slowly ride up from your ankle to your calf when he does. "-god, this dress fits you like the snuggest goddamn glove."

Closing your eyes you manage to choke out "You've said the lord's name in vain in his temple. Shame on you."

Tony's lips curl into a sinister smirk before biting down harshly on the shell of your ear. You squeak in pain. When you open your mouth to tell him off, Tony snatches the golden opportunity to slip his tongue down your throat and mash his clothed erection against you.

Fire dances in your blood.

Oh.

You hadn't felt this type of desire in quite a while. Lustful and nakedly carnal.

But you didn't stop him.

Didn't pretend that you didn't want him to touch you like this. Instead your fingers hastily twist themselves into Tony's hair, uncaring if it gets messed up.

Fuck you shouldn't be doing this. This was beyond fucked up. You were getting married, pregnant, and now you were sucking face with your brother.

You were the fucking worst.

Incisors nibbling on Tony's bottom lip, he lets out a guttural groan that went straight your pussy.

You knew you were out of your damn mind when your hips shyly thrust forward against him in response to Tony's dry humping.

That did it.

Tony spun you around and pressed your chest down on the flat desk. Your face burning when hands flip the skirt of your dress up and above your ass.

Biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from moaning hearing Tony unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants.

God.

You wanted this. So. Fucking. Much.

Tony pauses for a moment, his fingers hooking under the band of the pretty panties you wore just for today.

" The wedding, you're still going to marry him, aren't you?"

"M'sorry. . ."

Fearing that Tony changed his mind, you're about to say something until Tony slips your panties off and gently brushes his fingers against your pussy lips. You shiver, hiding your face in shame and arousal.

Yeah, you were definitely the worst.

"Alright then. But I want you to know something." He lifts your hips up so your ass was presented to him. "When Steve fucks you tonight, you'll be thinking of me. That boy scout can't really satisfy you. He'll never be able to give you what you need."

You knew you were wet, but weren't aware of how wet you were until Tony slides the entirety of his cock easily into you. Spongey tip of his dick knocking against your cervix. The strangled cry that left you was fuel to him as he presses his chest against your back as he starts to tilt his hips up. His cockhead following his hips' direction and angling upward. It was ridiculous how fast he remembered where your sweet spot was. The one that had you keening and screaming like a whore.

The urge to arch your back was restricted by Tony's own weight atop of you

As his cock continuously bumps its head against the textured spot inside of you that has your muscles spasming, his hand forces your face to lift up so that you're staring at the image of your red face as he fucks you from behind. Tony is observing your image in the mirror too.

Steve didn't deserve you but Tony acknowledged that the baby would be better off with Steve. Steve was stable and loves you to bits.

You intently watch the slackening of Tony's mouth when your eyes meet in the mirror. The lines that crease between his brows and his beautiful eyelashes.

His arm moves as his hand swoops under to play with your clit. Cock and fingers working together to move in unison. An absolute wet mess between your legs produces the most vulgar sounds that belong in a porno and not a church.

Tony's grunts and growls as he pounds into makes your pussy clench down on him. He hisses, fingers digging into your hips as the unrelenting snap of his hips becomes more frenzied. "Fuck. You gonna come, aren't you sweetheart?"

He lightly pinches your clit, rolling it between thumb and index. Your mouth pops open, drool leaking out as your eyes roll back into your skull.

"Fuck yeah you are. Gonna cream all over my cock?" Tony moans at the thought, remembering the thick rings of your slick that wrapped around the base of his length.

His furious thrusts increase. He needed this as much as you did. Craved it for weeks on end. The hurt and the pain you'd inflicted on him by choosing Steve over him washed away as he saw your face break so beautifully. Tears and drool collecting on the tip of your chin. Your throat attempting to strangle whatever scream was bubbling inside of you. At least you had some modicum of self-awareness. Only little gasps, desperate gasps and whimpers.

That was all Tony required to keel over you and cum deep inside of you. And having been pent up for months, there was quite a bit of cum spurting out of him and painting the insides of your pussy white. He could feel a stream of it leak out of you, mixing with your own release.

The world is still, almost quiet were it not for the heavy pants coming from you and Tony, still connected via his slowly softening cock. He doesn't want to let you go. Wouldn't care if someone walked in on the two of you. Because the moment he does let you go, he'll no longer be able to touch you like this ever again.

He loves you. More than the fate of humanity and the galaxies in the universe. Fuck he loved you more than himself.

That's why he had to let you go. Steve would save you and the baby from Tony. Steve. . . was better for you.

Reluctantly, Tony pulls out of you. Chuckling at a whine coming out of you. He busies himself with pulling your panties back up, not bothering to clean up the mess on your pussy and running down your legs. Smirking to himself, he carefully pulls your skirts back down. Adjusting a few creases here and there, Tony coaxes you back around to face him. Reaching for a tissue from the box on the desk, Tony tenderly cleans up your face; careful not to smear your eyeliner and mascara. He applies more powder to your face where your tears had caused streaks in the foundation.

Piercing clang of the church bells gives you a minor heart attack. That's right. Steve. . . your friends and family. . .

"It's okay." Tony whispers to you. "Hey, look at me. Everything will be okay."

How could he say that when his cum was still dripping down your leg? "But Tony-"

He shakes his head. "Nothing happened here. We just. . . reconciled after being estranged for so long. Right?"

The mesh material of your veil is pulled over your face by Tony.

"I know you have to do this. I. . . won't get in the way anymore. I promise. I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you. If Steve is the only way to guarantee your happiness, so be it."

You feel a new wave of tears burn your eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Tony takes a step back from you and holds his arm out. "Well, lets go do this thing."

You giggle at how nonchalant he was. "Alright. Let me just clean up the mess." You're bending down to lift the hem of your dress up, a wad of tissues in your other hand but Tony stops you.

"We don't have time for that." Tony's smirk tells you that that wasn't the true reason why he interceded.

Pressing your lips into a firm line, you let go of your dress, letting it fall back to the ground. You thank your veil that hides the intense crimson on your cheeks.

Circling your arm with his, you let your brother lead you out of the small room you'd used as a dressing room. Outside the primary chapel doors was Natasha, your one lone bridesmaid.

Her eyes widen when she takes in Tony next to you. "There you are. Everything okay?"

Nodding, you clear your throat. "Yeah, everything's okay." Your grip on Tony tightens. Your brother was back by your side. Where he belonged.

Natasha relaxes. "Lets get you married then."

No one knew that just a little while ago, your brother had you bent over. Well, you suppose if you believed in the Christian god you would have worried that He was a witness. Gods nor demons scared you. And definitely no one knew that Tony's semen, after having stuffed you to the brim, was drying against your inner thighs. To you, it felt like a sense of closure. Your brother had finally freed you.

"Wow! Mama's so pretty in her wedding dress!" You catch Cass cooing from the living room. Arching a brow, you make a detour from the kitchen to where your two boys were on the couch, a photo album resting between them.

"She's still the prettiest girl in the world." Steve muses to his son. "But on that day, she was on a completely different level."

Cass' finger points to another photo. "Hey! There's Uncle Tony!"

You remain hidden, listening to them until your son mentioned his uncle. The memory of that day has your face growing hot. You were naive in thinking that Tony had actually freed you, that he had the power to. Neither of you possessed the ethereal scissors that could cut the incestual tie between both of you.

And it seemed not even Tony's death was enough to end it.

[euniexenoblade]

Instead of a prime directive not to tell eggs that they are trans there should be a prime directive to be supportive for the eggs while helping them hatch, to warm them rather than crack them.

The one point that the egg prime directive crowd understand is that finding out you're trans under the wrong circumstances can be damaging, though they have the entirely wrong way of addressing that problem.

I know that pain firsthand, as it was a comment from some redditor I'd never hear from again that cracked my egg before I was ready, followed by highly essentialist "am i trans" tests from like 2001. Neither of these were able to frame being transfem as anything positive, and because there were no other transfems in my school or in my life at the time, I had no reason to enjoy being trans. I hated my transfemininity for many years because of this, and hated the fact that I could not deny it. It felt like an inherently isolating and fatalistic thing. "You are cursed to be something your parents and society demonize, any attempts to suppress it will be torturous, and you are in it alone" was how it felt for years, because I had no one else to show me the beauty of being a trans girl until years later.

I honestly feel envious of the transfems who can see suggesting a transfem egg is trans as if its impossible to cause her harm under any circumstances. I feel like I'd be in the wrong to say that yes it can harm us like it harmed me if it is done wrong.

I dont want anyone to read this and take away that I'm against telling eggs they may be trans. I am all for that, but I want the takeaway to be that the eggs youre telling are trans are in need of a reason to love their true selves. Without the sisterly love of other transfems they could end up like me - hate themselves for it, internalize a shit ton of transmisogyny, and develop maladaptive paraphilias for being validated as femboys that will permanently fuck up their ability to truly love their transness even after they one day discover that being transfem doesn't have to be cold and isolating.

I genuinely mean no hostility by this, but your issue was far more complex than just egg jokes. Like, yeah, you're right, we should be surrounding people with this positivity and understanding that it's ok to be trans. But, I feel like your situation is influenced by loneliness and internalization of transphobia - plz dont take that as "you're transphobic!" we all internalize that kind of shit when we're younger, and it manifests a bunch of ways. In comparison, egg jokes are generally from trans people you would actually know who want to help people transition and help people down that path. Maybe some people are bad at it, but I genuinely think the situation is entirely different.

Genuinely think you should show yourself some more love. I know saying that is like, weird cuz it can come off rude and if it doesn't it's like, how do you do that, but genuinely I don't really want the egg convo with you I more want the convo about why you feel these ways and what have you done to help yourself? Like "develop maladaptive paraphilias for being validated as femboys that will permanently fuck up their ability to truly love their transness" before the word "femboy" was getting thrown around the net I self ID'd as a trap and was posting myself on imageboards and forums and shit for attention and validation. And, before that I was finding myself through weird kink communities around crossdressing, forcefem, and sissy shit. And, yeah, looking back may not be the greatest thing but sometimes that's how shit goes. This isn't to like, reduce your experience or anything, but it is to say we have a more similar experience than you may be aware and I do think you can find more love for yourself. idk. Your point is good, I just disagree on the exact comparison. Your ask kinda just made me more concerned for you though.

[crushedsweets]

in a far away universe where ninakate is canon in creeped verse how do u think their future together would be like? Like moving in with each other...getting married...adopting pets etc etc

AAGGGGHHH OK OK this is SUPER fantasy-type for me, not really realistic for the lore itself... but au where ninakate is canon is fantasty anyway so i do as i please. this is so fanficy and cheesy and stupid and goofy but i dont even caaareee they make me really happy I MISS MY GF(i saw her today. mb)

so this would happen LONG after kate finally heals from O/S syndrome. she is no longer a proxy, no longer has 'the chaser', has spent years working with toby, nat, jack, and nina to get better. get her GED, heal her overworked body, etc. i think kate would have to get a new identity/SSN from BEN so she can work. . . OR she'd wipe all of her missing person files and he'd get her a copy of her SSN, so everything can still be under her name?! i dunno, something super over-powered LMFAO

they'd move close to the coast. a quiet beach city filled mostly with old retired couples and young families. they rent out a small, quaint little house from an older butch/femme lesbian couple. its a short 30 minute walk from the beach (nothing for kate, good for nina). nina works as a nail tech, kate works at a morgue. lots of night shifts for kate, but nina has a disorganized sleep schedule, so she'll be awake when kate leaves and comes home. . .

nina would want marriage sometime into their 30s. without a doubt. and i dont think kate would mind. 'its a piece of paper' (its a legally binding life long commitment but she dgaf) .... nina would get so emotional talking about it, kate is like 'ok well why wouldnt i do it. make her happy.' nina wants a huge, dramatic, extravagant wedding... but i think they'd have a small, private wedding on the beach with very few people. nina wears a mermaid style dress with a dramatically long veil thats dragging all in the sand and was an obecjtively bad decision but kate said it was pretty so nina HAAAD to wear it. kates in a suit. with a pink little pocket square. cuz nina wanted to have pink in the wedding. they probably organized it all themselves, having them + toby and clocky thrift a ton of rando wooden chairs and toby/kate hand made the arch while clocky/nina put flowers all over it. AUGH. come on.

nina wants a chihuahua sooo badly sooo bad so bad. or a pommie. just some cutesy small dog. kate wants like a huge guard dog. smth smth 'for when im not around' and ninas always like oooooooo u care about meeee . LMFAOOOO. so maybe a pommie and a rottweiler .... crazy cute combo, of course .. .

they'd still have issues to get over. neither of them are very healthy partners for a long time, with nina being so horribly anxiously attached and kate being so distant and avoidant. kate being so bad at communicating would trigger the fuck out of nina. and nina is quick to raise her voice, and kate is selectively mute, so nina would trigger that as well. which frustrates nina, then upsets kate, which is a shitty cycle. nina has horrible self image and self esteem, and kate is NOT equipped to handle that - her appearance has never mattered to her, and nina being so worked up over superficial stuff is bothersome. they have a LOT going on that they NEED to work through. and since this is a fictional fantasy ship, THEY WILL LOL they will. because i want them to. and i think they deserve it.

auuughh i just. . . i like them :(

[nerves-nebula]

k im gonna be in my feelings about my race again so here we go

i sometimes worry that the way my mom raised me has made me permanently cut off from other black people, because she never seriously called us black. she was racist about a lot of stuff but she specifically insisted that if we wrote our race down on a form we would check both black and white, or just "other", or black, white, AND other.

i've talked about this before but i never referred to myself as black until i was about 15, maybe 16, so for the majority of my life i wasn't black i was just "mixed" and black americans were a group of people neither my mom nor my dad wanted me to be.

i still remember sitting in the gym and hearing some guy trying to tell his friend where he'd put his backpack or something, and he'd said it was next to "the black girl with long hair" and his friend stopped by ME and looked back for confirmation, before his friend told him he meant the other one further down. and idk how to explain this feeling.

cuz like, i was homeschooled, so i didnt even have the chance for other people to call me black. i only met the people my mom wanted me to meet until high school. ironically, it felt kind of like passing, which is absurd for two reasons:

the history of the word "passing" originates from (i believe, though i might be remembering wrong) black people who could "pass" as white deciding to do that and disengage from identifying as black. so the fact that i'm referring to it but like positively and in reference to how it feels as a trans person to get gendered correctly is kind of funny.

i am literally black. im not even so light skin/white featured that i could be mistaken for white i am LITERALLY VISIBLY A BLACK PERSON my dad is from NIGERIA

and yet!! i was relieved that someone else called me one unprompted because i was and still am sort of afraid that everyone else can tell i am Not Like Them. that i was raised to think i'm not like them. that i'm not Really Black, that I'm new at this cuz i only started calling myself black a few years ago. i know that my experiences are black american experiences because i'm a black american but i just. i worry that the opportunity to be a part of a black community will never happen!!!

but then i see my siblings. my younger brother is fully culturally a black american. he did a lot of sports growing up so he picked up a lot of black american subculture from the other kids there, and my oldest sister is getting more in touch with black communities too. they're like an activist and do politics and shit. i'm not sure what it is i need to do but i can see that it's possible i just need to fuckin!! talk to more black people!! go to black events!! but i can't because i'm an agoraphobic freak that doesn't go anywhere i don't HAVE to go!! and i feel like i don't belong with black people because i've had it drilled into me by my mom that i'm not one of them and i'm not black enough and it's laughable to call myself black.

but im not even sure if i can vent to black people about this cuz it sounds like i'm whining about having to be black or something that isnt a real problem but it really fucks with me sometimes it's like fucking race dysphoria or something (can't think of a better word for it sorry)

anyway the point is i'm fine i'll figure it out. i just need to keep trying. i try to find black people online and become painfully aware of the fact that i don't know how to find them and just have to keep searching shit like #black queer or #black artist until i find some ppl i wanna follow.

special circle in hell for ppl who give their kids racial complexes.

[vacantgodling]

Genji Shimada, for the send a random character headcanon asks?

(I'm only on the second chapter of Cage, so sorry if you mentioned this info later)

--@ceph-the-ghost-writer

(haha no worries i don’t really mention any of my “specific” headcanons in this story cuz i’m more worried about the plot lol—but thank you for reading actually i’m touched 🥺🥺)

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual or pansexual — perhaps gray or demiromantic cuz before cyborg-ness i can’t see him wanting to be tied down to anything, after cyborg-ness i feel like finding someone he can connect with on a deep level due to this whole situation is more precedent for him wanting to be with someone. he’s down to fuck tho; maybe a little less eagerly than before but in general he’s dtf in my mind lol

Gender Headcanon: cis boyo but i feel like being a cyborg does like. affect how he feels about himself generally so i’d almost lean into calling him slightly nb because of that, if that makes sense

A ship I have with said character: for genji i have varying ships but the two most prominent tend to be genji/baptiste or genji/lucio. neither of them appear in cage properly but in a different fic that’s on hiatus, storm chasers, he and bap are a thing (i also just ship bap with a lot of people LMAO)

A BROTP I have with said character: him and cassidy! from canon they technically have a more ambiguous relationship. it’s said that genji didn’t communicate with other blackwatch members after he went into regular overwatch (so this would include cassidy), however i Highly Doubt that the two of them would’ve had a completely terrible relationship the entire time he was in blackwatch. plus, with the recall i feel like it’d be a chance for them to sort of reminisce about the bullshit. so idk—in my mind they’re better friends than canon maybe wants them to be but just because they’re best friends (to me) doesn’t mean they don’t butt heads.

to expand on this, i feel like cass is the only person genji can be completely candid with. with zenyatta he’s focused on healing and being a better person and being one with himself (with occasional teasing), he and angela have a complicated relationship (**to me), and he’s not very talkative towards other people now that he’s older (and he’s much more serious). i feel like cass would be able to break down a lot of his barriers and they’d appreciate each other’s dry sense of humor and in some ways they hold each other accountable to things.

this was a whole rant and a half but their bro-hood means a lot to me.

A NOTP I have with said character: gen/cy. i don’t ship anyone with mercy (for the most part. i’d really have to think if i wanted to ship someone with her but idc that much) but i specifically hate this ship because like. idk. it’s the doctor/patient power dynamic that i don’t like. like she knows his cybernetics, she built him and saved his life and i just feel like that uneven ground to start a relationship at all. i feel like in general, the canon and most people don’t develop angela enough and i feel like she’s kind of an overbearing type but also extremely certain and stubborn of her own morals and values and kind of thinks she’s right over everyone else. i feel like at a certain point she and genji wouldn’t be able to connect or relate to one another—between him wanting to reconnect with hanzo, to finding enlightenment with zen etc etc. so like idk i feel like people who ship this are kind of in a fantasy land where the characters are just perfect and happy and don’t actually like. take into account potential friction.

plus the savior complex is just 🤢

A random headcanon: it’s small but i don’t think genji likes sweets. i got hella headcanons about his tastebuds and how they don’t work (which does show up in cage—chapter 5 i believe). but i think it’s funny the juxtaposition how genji is viewed as more of the sweet/open/fun brother but his tastes are more umami and bitter, but hanzo is seen as more cold/standoffish/mean but he really likes sweets :3

General Opinion over said character: it’s thanks to @valeffelees that i actually have a more nuanced opinion of genji. ngl i used to HAAATE him back when i first got into overwatch because the fandom was so hostile towards hanzo and hanzo is my fucking blorbo so that it irritated me that genji got preferred treatment. however, these days, i don’t think you can have one without the other and i think he’s a really deep and interesting character that people don’t actually put effort into exploring. like even though cage is about han and cassidy it’s also VERY MUCH about genji and putting some goddamn effort into exploring him and his emotions in a way that i’m satisfied with

[multifairyus]

TLC and Queer Narritives

This started as an update on playlist making for Nick ships and has devolved into a rant about Queer narratives being capitalized on in TLC. I wanna give Tracy grace here, but after having a great discussion about how Bree’s black community feels one note/magical negro-ish…yeah I gotta get this off my chest 😭

Tl:dr I don’t think Nick and Sel’s (mutual!) romantic feelings are fleshed out in a way I think is fair to Selwyn as his own character with feelings and priorities outside of Bree and the Oaths. I understand that is Bree’s story so it makes sense Tracy didn’t focus on that. But I feel that fleshing the queer narrative could have been revolutionary and instead falls short of the mark. Cuz the story could have functioned largely the same with them as rivals and friends with no romantic undertones.

To me it’s more than “oh Nick shows that he cares about Sel in these ways” Cuz yeah. It’s clear Nick cares about Sel. But even for a love triangle I think it’s TOO unclear, TOO vague, even with the Order trauma context that that care is EXPLICITLY romantic and not just extremely close and trauma ridden. They have a brotherly, rivals, and friend dynamic going on which all feels more fleshed out than a romantic dynamic.

And I say TOO because, well…outside of Selwyn Kane being my baby boy who I love to the moon and back…I’m just kinda particular that the feelings of a young man be taken seriously and given narrative weight OUTSIDE of how it relates to the competition of heterosexual ships, or to the ease/simplicity of a polyamorous “solution” to the triangle.Like, if you’re gonna have a confirmed Pansexual character… and have that pansexual character’s queerness only really be explored in text by how it functions as an facet for a love triangle with potential to be polyamorous even IF the plot is busy…ion like that.

I think I see this whole OT3 and NickSel at a certain angle because while I can relate to Bree for so many reasons as a black woman, Sel’s queerness brushing on themes from my own Queer Awakening™️ and I think queer experiences a lot of people have.

Tell me if any of this rings a bell, my fellow LeeGeeBeeTees: Deep admiration of someone turning into something that looks and feels like attraction—especially if that’s first time you’ve ever felt something like that? Unsure if what you’re feeling is jealousy and wanting to be more like them or actually wanting them? Heightened awareness of their moods and weird desire to attend their emotional needs even when it’s not reciprocated or mutual or necessary? Being more open about your sexuality and/or not being cishet passing and being into someone who maybe is neither of those things. Sleeping/getting together with someone of the opposite to be “normal” and get over those feelings? Having the person you’re into be interested in having a “normal” relationship with someone that you don’t even like very much? Yeah. Yeah. YEAH.

Like to me, I can read between the lines of what Sel has said and done and fill in the blanks for wistful, beautiful, gay as fuck life experiences!! He is so fuckin valid! But WHY is his HURT doing the heavy lifting for the queer narrative in text??? His hesitation when asked about his feelings and cautious pessimism makes sense!! Almost all of the things I see people commonly point to as Nick showing he cares for Sel almost all indirectly involve Bree! Or is muddled by the Oaths—which you can SAY is the same for Sel, maybe, but not in the same way imo.

I’m not saying that Nick has to have had the same queer journey or awakening as Sel. or that he had to figure out his feelings at the same time as him. Or that he needs to be romantically interested in Sel to have an OT3 happen. But I AM saying that this feels very lopsided. And unlike normal love triangle messiness’s this feels…not fun to engage with. Because even if/when Tracy fleshes Nick and Sel out more to go for an OT3 situation, because this book is not about them, I really worry that Nick’s half of the equation will fall flat. And we get the queer representation but not much of queer story outside of their straight relationships to the main character.

In the interim of the next book, imma need Nickel and OT3 shippers pls make some Nick and Sel queer content to fill in these gaps. Preferably pre LB, no Bree! Or post Oath! Or time between them finding out where SK took her! Give me preteen preening and showboating for each other really being flirting!! Give me teen gaynst mutual unrequited pining, but actually, secretly REALLY requited mutual pining!!! Give me an “Oh. Oh? Oh.” Realization!! THIS SHIP CAN FIT SO MUCH LOVE AND ADORATION IN IT!!!! This shit writes itself, and yet in text I have to see molehills as mountains??? Naaawww.

Nicholas and Selwyn—the most powerful young men in the centuries old Order based in the American South with misogynistic origins, that took their mothers from them and grew up in a dysfunctional toxic environment—being GAY and finding LOVE is fucking BEAUTIFUL and it deserves far more care and attention from the narrative. I’m holding out for this rant age HORRIBLY by Book 3 but rn…I’m salty as hell!

P.S.—me joking that Alice and William are the ~homosexual supporting cast~ is funny but also bet not be me jinxing it. Again, Bree’s story. But more than “Tor is Alice’s type”/“women are hungry so i cook” and “yeah I have a bf but broke up with him weeks ago”/“red herring romantic rival for Bree that lasted 5 minutes before jk he’s gay and blushed at Will??” I’m not expecting Brewlyn levels of build up or whatever but c’mon now!!

[theambitiouswoman]

Hello, I need some advice.

I have been in a difficult relationship. I feel like an asshole and can't stop thinking about her. I'm really sorry and I'll take all the pain it's causing to me. I know that neither of us wanna just sit and talk about this and it's making me upset. She lately texted that she blames me and will every time remember me, when love will be or look fake. She misunderstood me in that situation, but our relationship was pretty toxic and it didn't have any perspectives, so it's obvious no one is seriously thinking about getting together. It also upsets me. I wanna try to communicate, but I don't think it will work out, cuz she's seeing everything from the perspective of pain. She's in great pain. I'm really really sorry.

Can you give any advice on how to get over this and the thoughts that I'm fucking asshole? Stop being in the past and forgive myself for mistakes and immaturity.

I learned all my mistakes and I'm trying my best to be better than past me. Thanks for your blog. Although it's kinda for girls, I find it extremely useful for boys too, for everyone.

Hi friend,

Thank you for being here!

Sometimes we make mistakes that weren't our intention and we realize it when it is too late. If you care for this person, if you respect this person, it's important to respect their boundaries and give them the space they need to heal and process their own emotions.

I am not sure if you have apologized and explained your actions, or how you actually felt. Even if she is not ready to hear your apology, you can still write a sincere apology letter or message expressing your remorse and taking responsibility for your actions. Make sure to avoid justifying or making excuses for your behavior.

Acknowledging and accepting your mistakes and the role you played in the relationship shows a lot of growth on your part. Use this experience as an opportunity to reflect on the dynamics of the relationship and the patterns that contributed to its toxicity. Pin point the behaviors you want to work on for future relationships.

Forgiving yourself is essential in moving forward. People make mistakes, and growth comes from learning and improving. Focus on self-forgiveness by acknowledging your remorse, taking responsibility for your actions, and committing to personal growth.

This was a learning experience, and you can use it to continue to make yourself better. Remember that not all of our relationships are going to work out. Be it someones fault or not. What is most important, is no matter how things play out in the future that you are a better, more aligned person. That you learn how to acknowledge negative patterns in a situation and can address them before it is too late.

Good luck <3

[knowlessman]

…okay, feeling the right kind of bored to jump right back in, maybe I'll wait another day or summat before posting this time so the one-ish (?) ppl who read these can have a chance to see the last batch. bnha s7e5-9

(toga and dabi) aha, so they did get some of twice's blood. …I forget if we already knew that 'XD

spinner: "people are worshiping me? I don't have a great cause or anything" well, neither did Stain

why would you… well, ig they are makin aoyama into a double-spy, so in theory it's cuz of that? still a bit of a begging-for-trouble kinda name

"that's why this has to be the end" …hah? eh, this was… maybe the plan? ig? also how in fuck's name was this tall fucker sposed to be hiding behind aoyama, wtf am I even looking at -- ok so it was the plan, also the non-tumblr-sexyman villains in this have exclusively the dumbest of fits, you look like somebody took one of those flip-and-match kid's books and lined up the top and bottom thirds of Emperor Zurg with the torso of… (looks up Maximillion Pegasus and discovers that he actually has a set costume, then grasps at straws for like ten minutes) The Professor from Tolarian Community College

-- (…no, even that doesn't work, I legitimately can't see Prof going with this top setup, the man Costumes himself)

KUROGIRI????????????? EHHHHH???????????? -- ohhhhh yeah Ditto exists, dunnee -- when suddenly avengers endgame

…this fight is going to be Hard to Follow. yeah sure just dump the entire player handbook and a couple splatbooks and half the monster manual in a pit and see how it goes. how in fuck is everybody going to resolve a single turn? -- …dnd has done bad things to me bc now I wanna do literally that. that's at least a week in a hyperbolic time chamber right there

shinso! and ditto. "there are no side characters here" more like, normies with no imagination will consistently undervalue niche-but-game-altering quirks

…aha… oops, kinda mislaid a main character there

heh. they came up with a countermeasure for pajama sam's pajama slamma -- daaaaaamn, and they got Ditto spamming eraserhead's debuff from outside the cage and everything. they went full SCP chamber several times over

…so, tomura's new ace in the hole is, he can throw thumbs at you like he's a Fromsoft enemy. gonna be honest, mr jammies, less than awe-inspiring

(all might outlining the full plan) okay so they do at least have anybody watching gigantomachia, good. hopefully some of them cameras are pointed inward, p sure I remember there being a telepathic link kind of a thing

"this is just growth. this is just my final form" ah, less fromsoft and more resident evil, then. well, bakugo is kind of a rocket launcher, ain't he?

…really. really guys. really. no hay palabras

(toga v uraraka, dabi v shoto, etc) ayup. reaching pretty far and deep into character motives that make less sense the more I try to understand them -- I mean dabi's is more or less straightforward

(shoto v dabi, uh, happens) -- HOW, again, does the entire todoroki family exist in the same show as bakugo. and how is the zuko also the uncle iroh

how am I not even halfway through the season

…spinner really didn't have anything going for him, huh. and all for one didn't even trust him with anything interesting, so he just made him big. spinner is the yamcha of this show I stg

(dabi's chest is glowing) uh-…oh…….

was introduced to the crack ship concept of hawks x endeavor recently. watching hawks and endeavor fight AFO here, with hawk's ongoing analysis and seemingly perfect read on the old man… I mean. like, yeah, why not, y'know, I can see it.

heck yeah, earphone jack and Diet Crona!

…dangiiiiiit, they got me with a cliffhanger when I was already a bit farther than I thought I was gonna watch. gotta cut it here anyway

[alexanderflowerbird]

Some thoughts about my ex cuz at this point I just do not care lol

So, I checked the hateraid playlist again cuz why wouldn’t I, and new Halsey songs have been added. On one hand, my ex LOVES Halsey, so I can see that her particular brand of romantic tragedy might hold its appeal, but lyrically speaking none of this makes any sense. You’d think we had this tumultuous, ups and downs, fighting screaming throwing up sort of relationship, the sort of love that is so intoxicating even if it’s toxic when like… we were very domestic, barely fought over the five years we were together, the biggest blow up outside of the fight before the break up was a result of them violating my boundaries and prioritizing the comfort of another partner over my sexual safety, so like… what do you mean Easier than Lying by Halsey bro??? What do you mean You Should Be Sad my guy???

The hilarious and confusing thing about this level of pissed off crying to my mixtape from them to me is that like… they have no idea why I ended things. They don’t know and neither does my other ex, because they’ve both been too cowardly to do what they know I expect if they want communication and likely? They don’t want to know my side of things because if there’s been a theme across the mess that has been the destruction of my polycule, it’s that these two would literally rather die than be wrong or feel like they did something harmful. I’ve always had a policy as far as how I handle people who fuck with me. The worse it is, the braver you have to be to communicate with me. If you hurt me enough, you lose the right to text me and have a conversation where you get to curate your responses and delay. You have to call me. If it’s worse than that, you have to show up and meet me and look me in my face. My exes are at that level not because they were the worst partners ever to exist and it was so toxic the whole time and bla bla bla. We’re at that point because they tried to unhouse me. Because in the end, they tried to manipulate our friends into believing I was having a psychotic break, that I was dangerous to their pets and our household, that I was becoming malicious and dangerous.

We are at the point where we don’t speak and no closure can be had because it would appear to me that they agreed together this was the best course of action, and true to my ex’s behavior in many other conflicts, they sent someone else to do their dirty work while they silently reaped the benefits. They seem to think that I used them, that I selfishly moved out and planned to abandon them, that I was awful and secretly evil the whole time when like… the last fight we had, I was actively on my knees begging them to listen to me and they wouldn’t. They screamed at me for the first time in five years because I asked them a clarifying question. They expressed that they literally could not work things out with me without a counselor present because they were so overwhelmed by having to deal with this head on. How were we gonna fix these things under the same roof? I moved out because I was being emotionally abused by both of my partners, and I knew that it would only get worse if I stayed in that apartment. But I thought I’d known them both well enough that if I moved out, and we did couples counseling and we went back to the dating phase, seeing each other on weekends, having hard talks and going to our own safe spaces, we’d find our way back to normal.

They’re over there biting their knuckle and hating my guts to ‘I hope ur miserable til ur dead’ like I put a cannonball through their life when I was doing the only thing I could do to save our relationship, and ended it because having two partners who would conspire to put me on the street during the summer time because I hurt their feelings was untenable. I got told I needed to leave because I ‘maliciously’ deleted a playlist I didn’t delete, and this perceived action was attributed to the entirety of my person. I got framed as some how deeply malicious and pitifully mentally unstable and if my friends and husband hadn’t been right there to watch me make the decisions I was making to try and save things, it would’ve been a they said/they said situation. I’m not the one who chose to recluse and shied away from our friends, who avoided hard conversations about what happened like the plague. I didn’t move out with plans to cut and run. Yes, where we were at when things ended was really bad, but I didn’t think our whole relationship was a lie. I see a lot of things now in retrospect that were problems, with me, with them, with how we communicated, but when I’m not having a chuckle at how stupid they look, did I think they were evil, awful, I hope ur miserable til ur dead levels of toxic? No. Just stupid. Just scared. Just utterly inequipped to navigate a conflict that really tests a relationship.

Now why am I putting this on the internet? Idk. I guess to be honest, I’m tired of having back room conversations about how I feel that are supposed to make me feel better and walking away from those conversations feeling like I’m between a rock and a hard place. If they hadn’t tried to unhouse me, hadn’t called me crazy and evil, hadn’t ran away from me insisting they didn’t want to hear how I felt last time we actually spoke? I’m the type of person who would’ve reached out. It has always felt right to me to reach out if I thought the person was worth trying to reason with, and I’m not gonna pretend that I didn’t feel that way about my exes. I thought we could overcome anything, once. But I can’t do that, both because that’s an act of self sacrifice that would violate my self respect and because I told myself that I wouldn’t talk to a wall again, that the only way I could be certain they were ready to hash shit out is if they came to me. And they haven’t, they’ve just held as tightly as they can to this ludicrous version of me that meant them harm and was selfish and evil, oooh narcissistic toxic evil ex oooo like come on man.

I supported them through so many hard times, I celebrated their successes loudly and proudly, I promised to spend my life with them and meant it until keeping that promise meant I was going to suffer in ways I wasn’t sure I could survive. So, I guess this is on the internet because it’s half way reaching out. If they’re looking at my socials as much as I look at theirs, if they’re lurking and watching for things to be mad about, I’m putting this here so that I can put this down. I have said what I needed to say somewhere where maybe they will see it. It exists, if they look for it. And maybe, knowing the reality of things they can step out of this wild, self aggrandizing delusion where they did nothing wrong and I was evil the whole time, and put it down too. We can never be together again, but hating me for shit that is made up in your brain is so, so fucking lame. I loved you very much, get a life, move on, I wish you well as much as I find the behavior you showed yourself to be capable of exhausting, heart breaking and childish. Knowing you, you’ll see this, see how long it is and decide to simply ignore it, but that’s your choice bud. I’m glad I finally said something where maybe, just maybe, you might hear it and grow the fuck up.

Here’s a song for ya, and unlike you, I really thought about it

[solardick]

What i do.

But this is hell.

And of course. The indian speaks english fluently. He had a thought one day. And when i said. “Well, how am i supposed to know? Half the time you’re being a fucken idiot.” He laughs. Other times. He doesnt want to inderstand.

Im already dead man. Wtf do j care. I can do all kinds of mean rwisted shit now. Because im not going to be alive much longer somthey eont be any consequences.

They ve been doing this to me simce i was a fucken child man. Dame fucken tactivs. If fact its has my brothers signiture all

Over it.

My noose is ready and lovked on my door. All i

Need is a push. Theyre fucken wi th y hormaines for fucks sake s

Lets go

Back home and think about my asshole cause its the only thin gg i can feel. 24 hours a day. At leadt its not spwaking like a girl. With all that estrogen laced weed thyeve been giving ober the last several years.

Sorry ive never liked looney toons. I font have a sadistic sense of humour. Brainwarping children with violence and laughter. Degenerating the inner spyche to produce degenerating invclined offspring. And neither do i have beef with nature: “cuz nature sucks!” Lets all get high and touch thr moon and based or future generations eith ambitions to please the body over the spirit.

Ive come to put it all together. Over these years. This is the third reich. The nazies won. And all it took is 60 million lives to make possible. And half of those lives were russians. Didnt hear a single care in all of my education about world history.

Not enough russians lives were taken thoigh. So the north western idealogy is trying to side curb its way into foreign lands to take over and dominate the world. Nazies.

I wanted a job at the pet store or the art store so the pisces moon would have a positive outlet. And the at osphere would be calm and positive. But they didnt want me to. The plans are in motion to continue raping my existance.

Then on the brink of suicide, again, i find a roofing job serrounded by toxic, degen, masculine personalities. With thr exception of one. Theres not mych in the way of media that gives positive light to the masculine. Its all connected to hardship. And lack. And degen, tendencies.

And people have always taken it for themsleves to put themselves over me. That has been thr only reality ive ever known. I dont want to be alove anymore. Especially if i get treated and punished fir being how the world has always treated me.

Im not even a person.

Gay men, women, hetero’s, government bodies of people. family, friends. To a lesser extant. Going on 40 and people are stoll making decisions for my life. I dont get to make them. Because they do.

All the world has ever done is harm me. And im the bad guy. Growing up hearing all this shit about peace and love and the age of aquarius. Just to insult you. While your surrounded by Leos. And disfunctional familial habitudes. Watching sibblings go after each other and me with hammers and axes and shit. Giving young teenagers ciggarets and drugs. Purposefully rolemodeling bs cause its funny. Killing animals and pets. Burning down buildings. Driving drunk. Fag bashing, bigotry, elitism. Destructive habits. Bipolar eruptions of violence. Absenteeism. Zero guidance. No communication. Lack luster tries at it.

Over 30 years of that. Then battering after battering, year after year. Into a beligenrent mess of bs.

And now, years after being complety fucked with to the extreme. Theres an entire community of dicktwats fucking with my system, and sexually manipulating me. Into becoming a queer. And through right back into childhood and fortifying self destructive lunar habits. So they can all feel good about being superior humans beings. And quenching that demonic thirst.

Thats pretty ficked up man. Dont blame me for tending to phatasize about national destruction. Because its the maine theme of pop media.

Since birth the world has been nothing but a giant fuck you to me. Everythign in between in inconsequential on that regard.

This isnt the real world. Its a pre-life. Or an alter life if another being. Which is me. Experimecing this instead of that. To break it all doem. Its the only thign that makes any sense.

And then after at those places. I wanted to work at. Id need an avenue for physical work. So i would have been more inclined and have the motivation to go to the gym instead. But nope. I need to be sexually harrased by another girl and then raped into become a girl. Not allowed to be away from toxic intended people, playing to a script. Somim still sick. Not allowed not to be.

In all that darkness and negativity and entropy. Once the light is seen, a peace and normalcy is glimpsed, in the venusian qualities upon the face of a pretty girl. Drive me insane. With the desire for tranquility and good tidings. Motivation and will to produce good life. Comes over like an obseesion from desperation and lack. But they harm you all the while. Boices and shadowed faces hiding in the background in the crowd. The will to drop it. Isnt strong enough to hold. For what if. An accomplishment from something good. Would strengthen my spirit. And i could live again. Or for the forst time.

My life is little foot vs freddy krugger. But i come from the generation where horror was intwine with child phatasy. Theres not much defermeve bewtween land before time. The original. To a nightmare on elm street. Beyond finding the garden of eden versus just surviving the T-rex and still being lost. Comsidering im living on maple street. Is just another insult to being alive.

I cant afford a noce appartment. I live by myself and always will. An di dont make 30$ an hour.

In fact Ir wasnt far between watching land before time an dmy life going to shit.

Heres some dick, kid. And the entire world thinks its hilarious. Perverting children.

It should be manditory for all families to get psychologically evaluated every 1-5 years. Which i don’t understand all this pride about free health care. What health care? If uou can give an athlete 10 million$ a year. Im pretty sure you can find some funding for better health care practices.

Then the bs about national compassion and what woukd have a stringer expression in the masses knowing that these games to pay exorbitantly for is actually supporting their freinds and family and a better world jnstead of giving entitled assholes an easy life of luxury. If a movie actor cane make 60 million $ a film then wtf. Fuck tom hanks.

Too bad its not my thy hair that is patching. If it were a choice it be the other way around. Then it be more like the arms. With heavier forarm than upper arm hair. Am i right? Maybe i will do the ipl treatment. Then use the electro therapy to get whatever is left over. Leave the pubic region, the love trail and the fuzz on my belly. Insteas of looking like a satyr. You know since i’m a woman now. Nd it be sexy. Since sex is all that matters.

You should have seen the expectant joy on my fathers face while he was calling me a woman. That was like what. 8-9 years ago now.

His favorite song. Used to sing it around me all the time.

Dont have a choice i have to kill

Myslef.

I just want a girl whos loves sucking dick. So she can squirt over my dace as i stair up i to her browneye and ponder the mysteries of life.

No need of shame for the sexual appetite. Of dirty vs. carnal desire. I know most then some.

Fucken creep. Yeah, i am. I was. Will be again apparently.

I want a woman, help me feel like a man. Instead i have an entire community of smut peddlers.

Kings are ni longer bred. There is no ower to veto a way of life. It’ll just fester.

Pray ipon my god and see, i never stop burning.

Man, i feel like a woman. And along eoth it everything worth living for is gone. Intellectual persuit. Gone. Artistic persuit gone. Desire to sedate increased. Desire to socialize gone. Desire to produce. Gone. Desire to accomplish gone. Desire for further education. Gone. Desire for physical satidfaction increases. Women suck. Its a handicap.

Looks like i was born and bred for the sole

Purpose of being a slut. Something to be proud about apparwntly.

Mrystal is the closest thing. Though a lie, ive had to hanging out with a girl for over 25 years. Just toxic masculine and feminine personalities. Thats all there is.

Hard to live in your own head. When theres an entire army manipulation from the external. Been fighting it for years. Hasnt brought me in anything

Well shit. Hello dark side of me. Hows it going? You go n abe alright not being monitered. Not going to do anythignstupid now are you? Creep some people?hive my body full reign to the family demon. Become possessed. Give in to sin. Noones safe.

Why they want that. Fuck their dumb.

Too i secure to walk i to a bisy stire anymore. Back to where i started there goes 8 years of life.

Guess ill be dressing up as a souless demon this holloween.

Maybe i can pull card lettered И, centre it by maybe 8 other cards to be connected to. Maybe. See what influences bare upon it.

Do that while the world is busy olaying with my penis. Pervs.

Ger me out of this nughtmare. 40 years is too mich.

Theyre fucken kilking me and laughing at the same time. My entire fuckne life man this has lal it ever been.

What to say to the dictor in the shrinkwarf. I have an entire army of cocksukrrs raping intk suicide and indotn want to be alive anymore. Tired that already. Didnt do anythign. Half of rhem are probanly in in it anyway. Can youvexorsize this demon. Fucken ne since birth? Look how populous its become.

Die for what you belive is certsinky gonna happen.

Maybe one day i wont be thrown into an envrionemt. That is full of enemies. Or assholes who just oass it off their shoulder like it doesnt matter. Mothwr was good at that.

Oh you know its just him. Hanging out with a bad crowd. Instea dof being talked to its being talk about while your still next to the person talking. Noe like ive ever been treated as a person anyway.

Apparently im not allowed to have a job or any social connections. Not allowed havign want i need to live.

Only endless years of people talking about you than to you. Thats all its ever been. 40 years.

I lneed to leave. Byt noones going to

Help me so im stuck here being taped by fucken cocksucker s

Doni fo to work today or do it quit. And count down till im dead? Tough decision.

Dtarted crying again lastnight over how fucied i am.

Kife will always fo this to me. It always has abd it always will.

I have ti kill myself. Its the only way to keep wveryone feom interference with my lifw and forcing me to kill myaelf.

Quit the job and start passing out more cvs i can di that much atleast. Not that ill find a job anyway. Not one ill be happy with.

I deswrve to be raped into suicide foe being born. It only makes swnse

Indont know what not being serrounded by enemies feels like. Something that will never getnoff the bucket list.

I simt have a single cruel abusive bone in my body. Always strived for whats good. Fight agaisnt people fucken with me. They jsut fuck more with you.

So the reason i was born was to be bullied into suicide. So that my family can work out the demon.

They’re trying everything except giving me a substantial anount of money.

The anount of time, resources and man power to rape me into suicide is staggering.

Well rested for the first time in months. Almost died again yesterday. Spend the day half conscious, puking and depressed. Wonder what they dosed me with me.

I forgot what it feels like not fighying got tour life.

What s the point. Im being gorceably removed from the gene pool and im not going to accomplish anything thst will outlive my life and influnce the fallowing generation. Theres no poing being alive. Instead i was born so that other people can enjoy thrmeslve putting themselves over me.

I wush the same fate to all tour children. Thats all

Ive ever known. I cant even do anythign withmyself because thats my only life experiemce.

So i dont even bother trying and i just do this instead. Norn i to a world where not a single person has ever been upfront with you.

Hey look im dtill 8 years old being treated likedhit by my family. Hahhahab

Im afraid if a get a et soemones is judt going to kill again.

What about. Y brother he should be in my shoes. Guys a sexist, fag-basher, drunk driver, drug popping macho. Whis killed several of his sibblings pets. Gave drugs and ciggarettes to minors. Racist. Had. Apicture of the nazi flag accomanied with a sense of pride. Trashed every behical hes ever had. Put lots of lives in jeoperday. Broke peiples bones in highschool while fucked on chems and steroids prabably. It just seems to me that im being punished for his crimes. He gets to have a wife and a family. I dotn eant to be alive anymor e.

Well im ten years too young for hormone problems. What ghe fuck did tgry inject me eith? Not wven my “best” friend from going into highschhol would wven tell me.

I dont feel safe. I dint feel secure. Ive been co sysntky under attack fir years. Cherry was my last hope for having sonething that wasnt chaoctic in my envireibnent. Donething better, abseebce of bs. A perdon to comune with. Would havw dolved all my problems. Would have gotyen healthy. But, whatever.

Now my only motivation is to kill myself. All i can feel is my ass 24 hours a day and its dtiving ke tucken insane.

All the best partd of me are dying snd all thets honbs be lrfy over is bs. Fuckrn kill me already.

Just survive a while longer. Everything will be ok. You’ll see. You’ll be ok. I don’t waht to anymore. Theres nothign good for me

In life. Its just full of fucken evil. Theres nothign good init. Theyve just waste my life away framing me ip for bs. Whats the point

I just want to quit this dayrape job and go back to having nothing. Cuae whatever they gove me is fucken bs.

I just go around spending everyday likes everything i s ok and so do they, will they rape my existance. Sometime sinsnap becaus eof it. And then they just hurt me.

Im hust ehatever they say i am. Which i don’t know what.

Asked my mother for help one. While she was busy stairing off at nothing and she told me she didn’t care. Next thing i m ow my btothrrs trying to mill me with an axe. And i get kick oy tog thr house again. And now im here.

I dint belong anywhere and i was just born to be fucked

[cesium-sheep]

she went off to meditate right after mom finished her call and then she called him in to talk to him and then she came out to talk to me because she was really upset about feeling like she doesn't get a fair share of watching stuff for her not for sharing on the big tv and like she's not even wrong about that neither of them get to use the big tv for their own personal stuff as much as I do, but also she never fucking asks? like he'll ask to watch whatever sports is on or his car videos but she never really says anything. cuz she also doesn't feel like she can ask and honestly there's not a whole lot I can do about that other than Be Smaller which is not a solution.

but like we talked about it, and I tried my best to differentiate when I was upset at the situation and when it was Brain Soup because not none of it was Brain Soup, and to convey why "I don't think you'll like this" does not translate to "you can go do other stuff if you want" because she leaves if she wants without a word all the time and I hate when she does that and I do not want to do things I hate having done to me and I am used to the common space coming with an implicit obligation of participation which I did point out directly towards the end. (I wonder if that's something I'm supposed to keep or if she wants me to get rid of that but didn't want to ask.) and she stuck through the entire conversation even though she's tired and she has work tomorrow and it was her conversation to start with even though it got bogged down in Soup Overflow. even when she walked off she told me where she was going and that she would be back in a minute. (at least I think it only happened the time she communicated well about it? I can't remember for sure.)

and she is right that she deserves to feel like the common space is as much hers as anyone else's, but unfortunately the most accessible solution is "please for the love of christ communicate more directly with me" which I Do Not Control (altho I was able to present a couple bits of like "hey could part of it be a conflation between being assertive and being an asshole" that she was willing to hear me out on) and the totally inaccessible solution that wouldn't even be a problem in the first place if I wasn't this sick/the apartment wasn't this small is just "I shouldn't literally always be in the common area".

so it was. really miserable. cuz she was super mad and some of it was really triggering and I don't have a solution for her that doesn't require her working on her own shit. but hopefully it was still constructive to her. she didn't sound mad at me by the end, and she said when I checked that she felt like her frustration was understood even though we don't have a straightforward solution right now. I did acknowledge that I hadn't provided any comfort during the course of the conversation because I was upset, and that she deserves to feel comfortable and safe and I do want to facilitate that even though it seems like I can't. she held my hand and let me be sad for a bit even though it was her problem, which I need to remember to acknowledge to her directly too. I'll text her so I can't forget. she also said some nice stuff about how yeah she's tired but I'm important (implicitly why she sat through the tedious wrap up bits I have to do in order to put a conversation to rest).

and I know it's been the other way round plenty of times, where I had a problem and had to comfort the other person, but also I know that sucks, and it's important to acknowledge that even if I don't have the energy left to take it on the chin like I used to, even if she decides she's at peace with that.

I also woke him up to let him know we were done and things were okay, and he was nice about it. (he came out in the middle to grab his phone and say goodnight.)