#cus now I'm wondering
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You know how the Bad Wolf is a basically an all-seeing all-powerful god, but also it's Rose? and whenever I think about that, I think about how the Bad Wolf is spread all throughout time and space to lead the Doctor and Rose to where they are at any point. like the chicken and egg argument, which came first, the Bad Wolf or Rose? the Doctor or the Bad Wolf? the Bad Wolf or the universe? the Bad Wolf or the TARDIS?
like sure Rose made the Bad Wolf, but like did the Bad Wolf make Rose? without the existence of the Bad Wolf, will there be Rose? Will there be the Doctor? Will there be the TARDIS? will there be anything?
Because the Bad Wolf isn't held by any limitations but its own, and that fucks me up cause they were always meant to head there, always meant to lose each other, and the Bad Wolf couldn't change that, but also the Bad Wolf could definitely change that. Like ykw I mean?
You know what makes me nuts? Bad Wolf. The whole thing keeps me up at night
#doctor who#the doctor#bad wolf#rose tyler#sorry for the rambling#it probably makes no sense but like ykw I mean?#do I think the Bad Wolf reveal was fantastic? yes#do i think the Bad Wolf should have been some all-powerful and all-seeing god type? no#cus now I'm wondering#if ninerose and tenrose were real or a fabrication of the Bad Wolf which was a result of ninerose and tenrose which is a result of Bad Wolf#like i could go on and on but like ykw i mean?#like is anything authentic or touched by the Bad Wolf?
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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Video: How States Act: Fidget Toys
Status: Public
Link: How States Act: Fidget Toys - YouTube
Date Posted: April 4th 2022
#wttt#wttsh#welcome to the table#welcome to the statehouse#daily screenshot#wttt florida#wttt california#wttt gov#wttt texas#wttt louisiana#wttt new york#wttt ben#wttt c!ben#wttt mrs bench#mrs bench: where's my bag? cali: *unhinged staring*#yw for the whole row of york and his rat/pos#spilnter is staring into my soul/lh#cali would have the rainbow slug#for the yorkcali shippers imma say this#cali only kept the squirrel bc it's the same type as york's and he thinks they match and it's cute they have those#i want the slug soooo muchhhhhh i love the noisessss/vvpos#i only have york's rat irl and now i want cali's fidget toy and the slug#so who in this fandom is buying tex's huge rainbow unicorn pop it/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/lh#for anyone wondering for any of those try to google it i can't say go find a claw machine cus that's where i got mine#also that came from the pinball hall of fame#i just realized i have the same color rat as york!/vvvvpos#i'm yapping frfr
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okay guys nvm don't expect me to be Fully back or posting any good digital art for. A While . My mom is tweaking but . Whateverrr what the fuck everrrr🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️
#she won't give me my shit back cus she caught my sister . Sending a middle finger emoji to her friend??#and now she doesn't. Think any of us can be trusted w computers for the whole summer#Fucking hell man . Then she has the nerve to say I'm being moody DAMN I wonder why#like yea I can admit I have a bit of an addiction to my stuff but#Unpopular opinion I shouldn't be punished for what my sister did .#raine's rambles
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Tubulars RADICAL FURSONA headcannon design
Extra doodle down there
Pride is so cool
#based off the wall sketch and oc they made in the event#the pizzeria roleplay remastered#tprr#tprr tubular#fractured futures#i only made them cus because i wanted to use the funny hashtag gimmick#now I'm wondering if thats only because how roblox's censores work#i based the tubes and highlights off doctor nefarious because the shapes reminded me of his highlights and tubes
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so i heard about the GOAT eh? wrote a short snippet.
tw : death, mention of decapitation and betrayel, more death, death threats, body horror, gore, hey did i mention death? also narinder is a white dog because i keep seeing people draw him as one for the goat and i love it sm. OH and bones breaking.
snippet under the cut!
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their fur stood on end as they stared up at the large, white canine towering over them. their hands were binded by a simple frayed rope. they did not blink. they could not feel their body, but they experience the ache in their horns from when the heretics chipped them. they experience the ache of being decapitated. they experience the ache of a body that is no longer. they experience the ache from which their beloved bishop betrayed them. they stare relentlessly.
the bishop of death offered them his power; their second chance at life.
billy did not move. they hated him. billy did not avert their gaze. they hated him. billy did not blink. they hated him. billy did not make a sound. they hated him. billy did not think. they hated him. billy did not breathe (they did not think about how they simply could not). they hated him. they hated him.
they wanted the damned dog dead. they wanted to rip his head from his body like theirs was. they wanted to watch as tissue and sinew stretched, and snapped apart from the tension. they wanted to listen as his cervical snapped in half, as his phalanges crunched like leaves, as his ribcage shattered like broken glass, as his caudal made the sounds of a choir from hell.
billy. wanted. narinder. dead.
they had no choice but to..... accept.
#tw body horror#tw gore#tw death#tw violence#tw violent imagery#tw bones#tw decapitation#now onto the other stuff#cult of the lamb#cotl#the goat#cotl goat#his name is billy#cus#billy goat#yeah#narinder#cotl narinder#dog narinder#i'm gonna have so much fun with this#cotl au#technically?#btw if anyone was wondering my absence was because i graduated and lost access to EVERYTHING that i was working on#i'm getting a new laptop soon#uh#hopefully#on a completely unrelated note#LET'S GO OILERS!!!!!!!!1!1!!!!
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i officially have 3 cloud tats c: i felt v self-conscious abt the new additions bc my sister doesn't like them and there's a detail on one that didn't make it to the final piece (it was rly important to me but my shitty memory doesn't care for things like that, it seems. i can be v particular abt details but i guess i was super chill and fkg stupid that day), but i'm reaching the end of that initial devastation and getting back to feeling v happy abt the results. i got a trio of clouds on the left thigh, w the middle and biggest one looking more like a string of smoke. (it's a nice companion piece to the trio of clouds on my right thigh!) and the other tat is on my left calf: an all-weather cloud, with a sun, a rainbow, a thunder, raindrops and snowflakes. it's cute! just trust me!!
#ray says#and if you wonder what detail didn't make it#the all-weather cloud's rainbow in my sketch was tilted to the side in a v charming way#and now it's just a regular arch. SAD#tbh one reason why i'm not still spiraling abt is cus it's on my fkg calf. i can't see it v easily so i think abt it less!#if i had to look at this normal ass regular rainbow all the time i would go crazy i think haha#''all-weather'' well there's no wind or hail bc i was running out of space!! i didn't want clutter ok i have the eye of a designer
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You know what would be great? If people who did research on mineral compositions actually did research on the composition of the mineral they're doing research on.
#What do you MEAN that essentially 3 people have gone 'hm i wonder if I should make sure my min sample is actually that nasty#really volatile mineral that likes to split into three different phases when it gets above 500C.' I wonder if I should do some#trace element analysis on it. Or just put it under X-ray to check if it's tetragonal because there are five other structures and two of the#are cubic. And man you could at least check if the fucking ratio of Cu-Fe to S is right- I- Come on mannnn Come onnnnnnnn.#What do you MEAN this problem was solved by a Russian scientist in 1981 who asked the SAME QUESTION I'M ASKING NOW#and nobody LISTENED for FORTY YEARS.#chalcopyrite#ptxt#academia#:|#Yeah anyway I think this is my second dissertation paper now.
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I'M SORRY WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WITNESS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE "HIS AMUSEMENT" QUEST HELLO???
HELLO HELLO HELLO?????? GAYLOY IS REAL????????? ALOY GETTING FLUSTERED?? HOLDING HER HAND OUT TO SEYKA AND THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT HER AFTERWARDS???? I'M SORRY WHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT!!!! "SEYKA SEEMS BETTER. GOOD. WE'RE GOOD. OKAY. CAN'T GET DISTRACTED FROM THE TASK AT HAND"!?!?!?! THE WOMAN CAN'T STOP SMILING!!!!!!
i apologize for all this yelling but HOLY SHIT!!!!! are they really doing it?!?!
#AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#junk#horizon#horizon forbidden west#burning shores#burning shores spoilers#horizon forbidden west spoilers#hfw#hfw spoilers#i'm sorry to my neighbors i promise i'm normal BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD....#TALANAH DIED FOR THIS..........!!!!!!!!#i couldn't even pay attention to the rest of the cutscene or what happened afterwards#i think beta is gonna help me get the waterwing override??#or something??#what THE FUUUUCK HAHAHAHAHAHA#also can i just say i'm sorry to all kotallo fans#the man was begging to ride on a sunwing and like#aloy never offered to give him a ride??? and then seyka comes along and like...aloy is so happy to show it off for her and give her a ride?#oh this shit just got super JUICY omgomgomgomgomgogm#I wonder if seyka is gonna reciprocate that affection??? cus right now it seems to be like it’s one sided but hey!!!!! WE SHALL SEE 👀👀👀👀👀👀
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Well that was a learning ecxperience....
Todays lesson: meltdowns can be internal. Also they physically hurt. Also I did not know I had to pee until rIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO PEE
#mental health#meltdowns suck ass#now I'm wondering how many I've ACTUALLY had#bc all I heard and read about them is how they look like tantrums#that is not at ALL what was happening#hell I was coloring during that#my head hurts i feel EXHAUSTED and my knees hurt cus I sat in one pretzel position for like three hours#gonna take a shower#then practice guitar#holy fucking shit how do you even stop that from happening...#autism
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reading back through our first conversation vs now and. gods i was doomed from the start wasn't i
#like. you can tell i was a lil apprehensive just cus. 'woah new person ok this is a lil scary but m vibin ig'#but even with the apprehension i was. super open?? at least compared to how I usually am as im. very closed off when it comes to a#lot of stuff lol. which. may sound surprising lol#theres maybe. one person or two i truely talk to ab things lol#woah now its 3#I'm getting sidetracked#its. wild how many risks i took and continue to take with them#ok not risks? maybe? ive always been super cautious in relationships esp romantic ones#(one of my biggest failings lol. I'll admit to that. my inability to initiate out of anxiety and over cautiousness fucked up two of my#relationships. obvs there were a few more issues but yk >:P)#ive always tried to be. super realistic but to a fault#im letting myself have hope with this one#I want it to be them so bad dude im so far in its. Bad. m. genuinely in love with this person fuck#idk this is prolly very silly and far to mushy to actually post lol#rigs your gay#also the ballsiest ive been in a relationship?#no wonder everyone thinks m a bottom /hj
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...I'm not actually sure if Imma post the final section of the art-dump actually
#random post#I was gonna keep it a surprise but I'll just say it here:#it was gonna be a SAMS au#but I heard 3(? or 2?) examples in one day about other people canceling their aus#(I think it was 3 actually)#(no it was 2 actually one wasn't getting rid of it)#and now I'm wondering if I'm just making the au for nothing#cus I'm probably gonna leave the fandom at some point too#and the characters aren't even mine so idk if it'd be weird of me to keep the au#so it's like... should I even go through with it?#(of course no blame to the people who were leaving the fandom cus honestly they're very valid for that imo)#(they just kinda made me think y'know?)#...meh i'll probably post the final art-dump tho anyways#(also plus I myself have a huge issue of creating aus and then doing nothing with them so that may just happen again)
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Being a waitress/bottle girl at a club that caters to monsters.
While serving a table of orcs their drinks you hear whistling from behind you and turn towards the table of werewolves calling you over,
"C'mere Doll, why don't you spend some time with us? It'd be better than looking at those ugly green faces."
The rest of the table barks out laughter and all you do is look back at the table of orcs to gauge their reactions, just incase you have to call the bouncer to stop another brawl.
"Aw yeah? Cus your slobbering snout's much more attractive, ain't it?"
One orc yells and the others hurl their chosen insults across the table as well. The werewolves grumble and snarl insults back and you just stand in the middle of this, trying to think of an escape.
"Maybe she ain't at your table for a reason!"
One of the orcs claims boldly and all the other orcs voice their agreement while the wolves clearly disagree.
"Why don't we let the lady decide." A wolf with greying fur suggests with a smirk and both tables seem to agree on this being just a wonderful idea.
"Well love? Who's better then? Us or the mutts?"
"Aye! The real question is who can treat her better, isn't that right, Doll?"
The attention of the two tables are now on you, waiting for your answer with baited breaths and half hard cocks probably.
"....I prefer minotaurs."
This deadpan response takes a few seconds to sink in before a chorus of disagreements and further arguing commences, but you're already making your way back towards the bar, you're sure they don't mind watching your tiny skirt bounce as you walk away.
That answer wasn't random, it's actually been the only thing you could think of all day. Your Minotaur coworkers cock reaching deep into your stomach while he pounds you into next week. That might be why so many customers have been extra forward with you today, maybe they can smell the need on you.
You finally make it back to the bar, getting ready to end your shift and finally get some relief.
"You causing trouble?"
You whip around to meet just the monster you were so desperate to see. He stands at the edge of the bar in his bouncer uniform, his sleeves hug his biceps very nicely and you nearly purr imagining what that arm would feel like around your throat, while he pounds you from behind. He gazes down at you with a knowing look.
"Me? Oh, I would never."
You look up at him and play with the collar of your shirt, successfully drawing his eyes to the generous amount of cleavage your uniform provides.
He huffs in amusement.
"They don't seem to think so."
He tilts his head and massive horns towards the two tables you just left where the occupants are all peering over one another to see the interaction between you and the bovine beast in front of you.
You scoff, take his arm and turn him around so that he's only focusing on you.
"I'm off. You're off in 15...maybe you could come by my place again....or something?"
You nervously bite your lip and he doesn't know why you're getting nervous.
You weren't nervous when you sent him that video of your stuffed cunt clenching around the Minotaur themed dildo you've had since before you were seeing eachother. You definitely weren't nervous when you sent him another video 6 hours ago of you stuffing said dildo into your perfect pussy in the employee bathrooms before slipping your tiny panties on over it, keeping the silicone deep in your cunt.
He pulls out his keys and leans down closer to you,
"Be ready when I get to the car."
You nearly squeal in excitement as you grab the keys and reach up to kiss his cheek. As you skip out the door to his car he looks back at the two tables just to revel a little in the disappointed grumbles and huffs emitting from the two groups as they go back to their drinks.
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#monster fucker#monster x human#monster x reader#monster lover#monster fucking#exophelia#monster boyfriend#terato#minotaur x reader#minotaur x human#Minotaur#fem!reader
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Vent
#my dads acting like a dick#I feel like I'm trying really really hard and he's acting like I'm a piece of shit#I love my dad but I wish I could record these moments so I know I'm not crazy#I can't even begin to explain what just happened/what happening#I always come away from these things wanting to hurt n kill myself#I just asked him how can I make him happy#he always twists every single thing I say#and responds with these smart ass movie quotes#and now he's making me guilty that I'm upset#'I do everything to make you happy and now I've failed because you're upset I'm not happy '#he's just so mean I don't know why he doesn't know#I feel numb and sick#I'm not even allowed to walk away cus that'll make everything worse#FUCK#I wish I had someone safe to hug I hate my life so much#no matter what I say or do it's wrong#and then they wonder why I wanna kill myself#but if I say that I'm evil#if I express any emotion other than blank happiness I'm evil#i literally have no idea why I'm alive#I'm just a piece of meat that's trapped in existence#life feels like a really long punishment#now I'm frozen and my dads mad and keeps asking how to fix it#right after he mocked me being like 'now I have to make YOU feel better cus you felt bad I was sad'#none of the chess moves are successful#I keep failing....#I'm frozen and I can barely talk#I feel like I keep trying and trying but only failing
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i forgot to comment on this but yes... i've played this back in my head... i feel like there could a conflict set up later in regards to ryo's feelings about how ksk should continue. there's a little moment in the manga where they wanted to compete for mikakunin riot i think and she only got really on board when the rest of them decided they wanted 2 do it and its an interesting little tidbit there (like, she didnt think of joining big festivals or whatnot?)
Anyways. i suppose right now there's a bit of a brewing hesitancy i can detect with ryo but nothing too big, but there could come a time where ryo wld be a bit strongheaded and disagree about the direction they want to take ksk in, esp. if she feels like they're compromising their "self" as a band for the sake of making it big. which that's like. njk's dream Is to make it big so you never know what steps she'd try to take to make it there
Hey, sorry, but know how in episode 4 when Ryo is showing visible (for Ryo standards) apprehension over how the band should continue...
...specially in the sense of becoming more band-like, and when Bocchi says she's going to write a band-like song that's going to be a great hit...
...and how Nijika (apparently) notices something is off by just a single sentence from Ryo? You know?
(sorry, I don't really have a point with this, just wanted to ramble a bit about this moment)
YES I KNOW. PAINFULLY SO. nijika always noticing ryo's microcosms and whatnot. She Knows.
#text#it's a bit disjointed right now but i know full well in my heart too that like#ryo for as much as she might be less harsh on njk because its njk she will stick to her guns like hell#and its a common theme in these Proceeding narrative to explore 'losing your vision' at some point bc of big ideals and whatev#so i'm waiting for hamaji to play on it honestly...#the moment ryo feels like 'kessoku' isnt 'kessoku' anymore...#cus it will happen it always does. i just wonder how
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Gentle With Mama
Stepmom!Wanda x Reader
After waking up next to Wanda for the first time in years, you find yourself rediscovering who taught you to be gentle.
CW: Stepmother/Stepdaughter, wet dreams, MOMMY ISSUES, breastfeeding, size kink, strap ons, first time? (kinda?), flashbacks, dacryphilia, R is a terrible fuck.
Word Count: 4.4k
A/N: This one is straight up Freudian filth, but I'm unironically proud of it so be nice to me.
A/N: There will be a third part to this eventually, but don’t hold your breath I’ve got a lot of other WIPs I’m going to try to finish first.
Part 2 of Her Special Girl
Wanda was almost embarrassed of the way her heart sang when she woke up with you in her arms the next morning. You were home! Her baby is finally home!
She hadn’t really even realized how much she’d missed until you’d come back. Sure she thought about you everyday, wondered how you were doing, slept in your bed when she found herself unable to sleep, wore your hoodies around the house, fantasized about you while she…okay so maybe she had missed you more than she cared to admit.
She giggled when she peeled the covers up to find both your thighs and hers covered in cum, as well as the sheets and the blankets. “Aww my sweet girl,” she cooed, pulling your head up under her chin. She kissed the top of your head stroking it gently with her thumb. “Did you have a good dream?” Even in your sleep, she could’ve sworn she felt you nod.
It was tempting to shake you awake now. Maybe she’d even make a little fuss about the mess you’d made, watch your face get all red with embarrassment while you tried to hide under the blankets, covered in your own slick. God you’d be so cute. And she was willing to bet you’d do anything to make it up to her, little doe eyes pleading for forgiveness over something Wanda was not even upset about in the first place. She could have you as putty in her hands all morning.
She shook the thought from her head. As tempting as it was, you’d had a rough week already. She opted instead to grab the discarded towel from last night and use it to clean herself up. Then she pulled back the blankets, smiling when you whined and grabbed around for them in your sleep. “Shh, detka. Keep sleeping. Mama’s gonna get you all cleaned up.”
She gently wiped you down with the towel, shushing your whines as the cool fabric hit the warm skin of your thighs. You moaned when the fabric hit your core, stuttering your little hips against the fluffy towel. Wanda chuckled. “Settle down, honey. You're gonna get yourself all worked up again.”
When she finished with the towel, she pulled a sheet from the closet. She climbed onto the bed between your legs, lifting you off the bed while she scooted the clean sheet underneath you. She heard a sleepy little whimper in her ear as she lifted you up against her chest. “Mama?”
She laid you back down against the clean sheet, pulling up the duvet to tuck you back in. “Shh, it’s okay little love. Go back to sleep.” She wiped the hair off of your sleepy face, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
She wadded up the wet blanket, throwing it into a pile with the towel. You groaned. The extra blanket was definitely missed without any clothes on in the middle of winter. Your face reddened as you started to realize she was cleaning up a mess. Probably your mess.
“Did I wet myself last night?” You asked, sitting up in bed as panic started to build in your chest. Did you seriously just wet the bed at 22 years old? Did you seriously just wet your parents bed at 22 years old?
She sat down next to you pulling you in to kiss your head. So much for not embarrassing you. “You made a little bit of a mess, but it’s okay. Mama took care of it. It wasn’t a potty mess, if that’s what you're worried about. My sweet girl just had a really good dream is all. You don’t need to be embarrassed, honey.”
“O-okay,” you nodded, still blushing fiercely as you curl into her. You were unsure if it was more or less embarrassing that you’d cum in sleep rather than having pissed the bed. Still, you were able to relax into her, recalling bits of the dream that had caused the mess in the first place. “Mama?”
“Yes, little love?”
“It’s not a bad thing to have naughty dreams, is it? Cause, like, you’re asleep and you can’t control it.” You couldn’t look her in the eyes as you spoke.
Wanda chuckled and kissed the top of your head. She knew your shame well and never wished to perpetuate it anyway. “No sweetheart. It’s not a bad thing.”
You nodded shyly. “Not even if they’re about mama?”
Wanda smiled, pleasantly surprised by your admission. “Especially not if they’re about mama, honey.” She squeezed you tight, pressing a long kiss to your forehead. She bent and whispered in your ear. “Sometimes mama has naughty dreams about you too.”
You smiled up at her, kissing her jaw before kissing your way further down her body. You rubbed your hands over the soft expanse of her stomach, admiring each curve and dip with endless wonder, caressing her with gentle hands. You traced the stretch marks that littered her side, curving upwards from her underbelly and her hips.
She’d always loathed this part of herself. She never, for a second, regretted her boys, but she could not deny the havoc having twins wrecked on her body. Two babies meant she grew bigger all at once, leaving her skin stretched grotesquely. She hated when people brought any attention to at all.
Yet, when she looked down at your face, she could not bring herself to ask you to stop. You look at her with a wonder she’d never experienced before. The innocent look in your eyes was not one of someone trying to console her about her broken body, but one of pure worship. It had never even crossed your mind that such attributes could be considered ugly. To you, she was nothing short of pure perfection.
You kissed her just below her navel, nuzzling your nose in the space above it. You hummed contentedly, resting your head on her stomach, rubbing small circles on her lower abdomen.
But after a while, your face fell from one of contentment and joy, to one of an almost sad longing.
Wanda noticed the shift immediately. “Is everything alright, love?”
You paused, unsure of what to say without making it weird. You could barely speak above a whisper. “It’s not fair.”
Wanda tried to pull you up her body so she could hear you better and give you comforting kisses, but you were cemented in place. “What’s not fair, detka?”
“I didn’t get to grow inside of you. I had to grow inside of some rotten woman who doesn’t even love me anyway!” Frustrated tears pricked your eyes. Nothing was fair. Your hands continued to gently caress the womb you envied. “I hate her! She was never my mama!”
Wanda sighed, playing with your hair. She held an equal amount of hatred for your mother, if not more. Her lack of dedication and responsibility towards you had always been equal parts confusing and infuriating. “I’m sorry, detka. I’m sorry she doesn’t treat you like the special, important little girl you are. You deserve so much better than her. She doesn’t deserve to call herself your mother.” Wanda pulled you up her body again, this time dragging you up by force. She needed you closer.
You conceded allowing her to slide you up the bed and tuck your head under her chin. She gently petted your hair and rocked you against her, shushing your cries and wiping away your tears. “Why doesn’t she love me?”
Wanda felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. She wasn’t sure what to say. She couldn’t understand how any mother could treat their child so carelessly, least of all when that child was as brilliant and wonderful as you were. “Because she’s only ever looking out for herself. Because she’s so blinded by her own misery to see what a beautiful thing she has created.”
Your hand gently caressed her chest, feeling her nipples harden under your fingertips. She shivered under your touch, watching you as you looked longingly at her chest.
She recalled a random conversation she’d once had with your mother in which she had said she didn’t breastfeed any of her children because it was quote “not her responsibility to get up in the middle of night when the baby got hungry.”
God I would’ve been so much better at being your mother. I would’ve stayed up all night just to watch your sweet little face as you nursed.
She smiled sadly. She couldn’t turn back the clock, but she had you here with her now. She couldn’t change what you did and didn’t have then, but she could give it to you now.
“Come here, sweet girl. You can suck on mama. It’s okay. You don’t have to be embarrassed.” She manually parted your hesitant lips with her thumb, allowing you to take her into your mouth. “That’s it sweet girl,” she cooed, stroking her hands through your hair. She ran her knuckle over your soft cheek, still covered in fine baby fuzz. Your lips were soft and warm around her. She thought she’d never get tired of the sight or the sensation.
For a moment, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. Despite never actually having been breastfed, your body knew instinctively what to do. It’s like it had been waiting all along, for Wanda to come around. You sucked at her with effortless rhythm, perfectly massing her nipple with your tongue. But then, a new sadness and longing creeped into your mind. There was no milk here. There was no milk here for you, and there never was because she was never truly yours.
You pulled away, shrinking back down her body. You clutched at her waist, nuzzling into her so hard it was like you were trying to crawl under her skin. You wanted to be inside of her where you'd be safe and warm and comfortable. You needed to be inside of her. It felt like the only thing that could quell the aching in your heart.
“Mama?”
“Yes, little love?”
“Can I…?” You pressed on her lower abdomen in indication. “Please?”
She looked down at you, your big soft eyes pleading with her. How could she ever deny you anything? “Aww sweetheart, do you wanna be inside mama?”
You nodded eagerly, still clinging to her lower half.
She stroked your temple with her knuckle. “Alright, honey. You can be inside mama. You just have to be gentle. Can you do that? Do you remember how mama taught you to be gentle?”
You laid with your head pressed to her stomach, recalling what it meant to be gentle.
—————
“I’m scared, mama,” you said, voice shaking slightly. You were 18 again, a newly deflowered girl who was yet to explore anything beyond a few fingers. The two of you’d been talking about this for a couple weeks now, and you were sure you wanted to try it, but you were still so nervous. “Is it gonna hurt?”
Wanda gently slid a soft towel under your butt. She warned you that you might bleed a little tiny bit, since it was your first time. “It might. But it will only hurt for a little bit, I promise. And then you’re going to feel so so good, baby. I just know you’re gonna love it.”
Wanda knew what she was getting herself into here. She knew the moment she was inside of you, you were going to be hooked on the feeling. She had no doubt you’d be begging for her strap every single time you were alone together.
And god she could nearly cum from the thought alone.
You, sitting at her feet while she worked, begging to be fucked just one more time. You, falling apart as she buried herself inside of you. You, incoherently mumbling her name while you cried on her big toy.
Deep breaths. She had to pace herself. This was only your first time after all.
“Mama’s gonna be so gentle, okay? And if you don’t like it, we can stop and you don’t have to try it again,” she cooed.
You nodded. Poor thing, you looked like you were already about to cry and she hadn’t even touched you yet.
“It’s okay to cry, sweetheart,” she insisted, more for her own purposes than for your comfort. She stroked your cheek gently, watching the first of many tears roll down. “It’s okay. Mama’s got you. Take a deep breath for me honey.”
You nodded again, closing your eyes to take a deep breath. “I trust you, mama.”
“I know, love. Mama’s gonna take good care of you.” She opened a little bottle on the side table. “Now this is gonna be a little cold, okay?” She said before pouring a little bit of lube down your folds. She slowly massaged it inside of you with her fingers, shushing your little squeaks of discomfort as the cool liquid hit your most sensitive parts. Then she massaged a generous amount onto the shaft of her toy.
She could have, admittedly, gone a bit smaller for your first time. But, as much as she didn’t want to hurt you, she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch you squirm on a bigger toy. It wasn’t anything outrageous, of course, but it was still a generous 8 inches and probably twice as thick as the three fingers you’d had inside of you before.
She slid the tip of the toy through your center, wiggling it against your clit. You shivered at the new sensation, your nerves still growing inside of you. She lined the toy up with your entrance. “Okay, baby. Take a big deep breath for me.”
You did as instructed, taking in a long shaky inhale, and exhaling. On the exhale though, she pushed the first inches of the toy inside of you. You cried out, flailing around underneath her as she pushed into slowly. Your hands shot down between your legs, pushing against her lower abdomen to keep her from pushing in any further. “Mama please, please mama it hurts.”
She took your hand from her stomach, gently placing it over your head. She intertwined her fingers with yours, allowing you to squeeze her hand as much as you needed. “Shh baby, it’ll only hurt for a second. I promise it’ll feel good in a minute. Just trust me love.”
You bit your lip hard, but nodded your head, allowing her to keep going. You whimpered and cried with each cruel inch that made its way into you, but eventually she stopped.
“That’s it baby. It’s all the way in. Aww, sweet girl mama’s so so proud of you. I know it hurts baby but you’re doing so good,” she praised, kissing away your tears and softly caressing your face. Her body was flushed with yours. You squeezed her hand, trying to relieve some of the pain.
She whispered soft words of comfort and soothed you while your face slowly shifted from contorted in pain, to mindless with pleasure. She used her free hand to wipe your hair from your forehead. “There you go sweet girl. Does it still hurt?”
You shook your head. “N-no. I just feel… you.”
She kissed your forehead gently. “I’m going to start moving now, okay? Just tell me if it hurts again and I’ll stop.”
You nodded, wrapping your free arm around her back, clinging to her. Your other hand still squeezed hers.
She started slow, just as she promised she would. It stung, a little, but more than anything, you just felt full of her. It felt heavenly. You weren’t sure how you’d live your entire life without it. You wanted her buried inside you forever. Anything less, you thought, would be unsatisfactory. You’d felt heaven, and now you’d never be satisfied on Earth.
Almost unintentionally, you scratched her back, leaving red tracks down her spine. She gasped and thrust into you. You cried out, freeing your other hand from her grip and wrapping it around her back, now clinging to her with both arms.
“I’m sorry baby,” she whispered, kissing your temple in apology.
“It’s okay, mama,” you mumbled, face buried in her shoulder. “Please don’t stop. Please don’t leave me.” You wrapped your legs around her waist, holding her inside of you.
Wanda knew in that moment, she had you hooked. She rocked into you faster, your old bed creaking with her movements. You whined and whimpered with each thrust, but matched her hips with your own. You were so desperate for her, so desperate for her to make you hers.
“I-I love you. Mama I love you. Please don’t stop. Please mama never… I want you inside of me forever. Please, you feel so good,” you rambled breathlessly, clawing into her back. You hadn’t stopped crying through the whole ordeal. You were unsure when the crying had turned from pain to pleasure.
She breathed heavily in your ear, your desperate clinging forcing her to double her efforts. She was only spurred on by your scratching. Each jolt of pain sent her hammering into you harder than before. “You’re doing so good, baby. Mama’s close, honey. Oh love, just like that. You’re gonna make mama cum.”
You felt her hips stutter as she came, finally collapsing breathlessly on top of you. She laid there for a few moments before reaching down between your legs to pull the toy out.
“No! Mama please don’t take it out yet. Please just a little longer. Just for a little bit while we cuddle,” you pleaded.
Wanda laughed breathlessly. “Okay, sweet girl. We can leave it there for another minute longer. But then you have to sit up and drink some water.”
She laid on your chest, letting you play with her hair. You ran a gentle hand over the long red lines that covered her back, occasionally hitting a spot that would make her wince.
“Oh! Careful detka. You gotta be gentle with mama,” she said.
You bent down and kissed her back, brushing your hands over the scratches more lightly this time. “Gentle with mama,” you repeated, coddling her body until she fell asleep inside of you.
—————
You nodded. Gentle. You remembered gentle.
“Okay, detka,” she chuckled. “I’ll go get it.”
She hopped up off the bed, heading into your bedroom. She kept the secret toys in the top of your old closet with the remainder of your clothes, a place she knew your father would never look. She pulled down an old duffle bag that had remained almost entirely untouched since you left.
She returned with a large scarlet strap, your favorite, already secured to a harness. You excitedly clambered off the bed, allowing her to help you buckle it around your waist.
You were tempted to pull her into a bruising kiss right there, back her up until her knees hit the bed, and push yourself inside of her until you both forgot where you ended and she began.
But you promised to be gentle. So you would be gentle.
You waited for her to crawl up on the bed before crawling up behind her and kneeling between her legs. She reached back to grab a bottle of lube from the drawer at the side table, reaching down to rub a generous amount onto the strap.
She smirked when you whined, bucking and twitching against her hand like you could actually feel her movements. With how reactive you were, she was sometimes genuinely convinced you could.
“Already, honey. Nice and slow for mama,” she instructed, allowing you to start slowly pressing yourself into her.
You did as instructed, lining yourself with her entrance and watching in fascination as her body took more and more of you inside of it. Your eyes went wide and you watched a small bulge form at the base of her abdomen. In a moment of excitement, you pushed yourself all the way inside of her, bottoming out unexpectedly.
“Fuck!” She shouted, hands immediately pushing your hips back.
“Sorry sorry sorry!” You apologized frantically. You hadn’t meant to hurt her, you’d just gotten excited. Your hand ran gently over her abdomen, instinctively trying to soothe the pain you’d caused.
“It’s okay baby. Just nice and gentle for mama. Can you do that for me?”
You nodded eagerly. Slow and gentle. You could be slow and gentle. Just like she taught you.
You tried again, this time succeeding at a slower pace. You reached down to touch the bulge in her stomach. Your heart raced with excitement. That’s me! That’s me inside of mama!
You started to slowly rock your hips back and forth, whimpering as you watched the bump in her stomach slowly move. “Mama…”
Wanda had her head tossed back over the pillows, head spinning with the sensation of being so incredibly full. “That’s it, baby. That’s my sweet girl, being all nice and gentle for mama,” she moaned. “You can start moving, sweetheart.”
You moved slowly at first, clearly very nervous to accidentally hurt her again. But after watching the rhythmic movement of the bulge in her stomach for a few minutes, your thrust became more erratic. You rutted into her with absolutely no rhythm, your own head spinning with too much excitement to care.
Words like “slow” and “gentle” were forgotten to the wet sound of her cunt swallowing you. You panted pathetically, whimpering as thoughtlessly chased your own pleasure.
Two hands fell on your hips, stilling them and forcing you out of her. “Okay, honey,” she chuckled, amused by your lust blown eyes pleading with her to let you keep going. “It’s okay baby, you’re okay.”
She grabbed you and flipped you over, pinning you underneath her. She straddled your waist. “Now just be a good girl and lay down for me just like that. Mama’s gonna have her turn now okay?”
You nodded eagerly, propping your head up with pillows so you could look at her.
She lined the toy back up with her own entrance, slowly lowering herself down onto it. Your eyes went wide at the sight of the beautiful woman, in complete ecstasy as she took your toy down to the last inch. She threw her head back, moaning with unrestrained pleasure.
Your hands clambered up her body, desperate to grab a hold of anything at all. She took one of your hands in hers, flattening it out and placing it against her lower abdomen as she rode you. “You feel that baby? That’s you, honey!”
You nodded dumbly. “Inside mama.”
“That’s right, detka. You’re inside your mama,” she cooed. “Oh fuck, you feel so good baby. Do you like being inside mama, sweet girl. Do you like feeling your big toy moving inside of her?”
“Mhm,” you groaned, biting your lip. “You feel so good. It’s so tight and warm. You’re so beautiful mama. So so beautiful.”
She smiled. “Thank you, baby,” she said, squeezing your hand. “Fuck your making your mama feel so good.” Her voice cracked and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.
You sniffled, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. You could hardly take it, watching her face contorted in pleasure while you felt yourself moving inside of her. It was all too much.
“Aww, sweet girl,” she cooed. “Come here, honey.” She pulled you up by the arm so you were sitting up, flush against her. She ran her fingers through your hair. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart. You feel so good buried inside of mama, right where you’re supposed to be, huh?”
You nodded against her chest, arms wrapping tight around her waist. “Uh huh.” Your nails clawed at her back in a desperate attempt to pull her closer.
She groaned at the feeling of you, slicing at her skin. “That’s it, detka. Hold onto mama, baby. I’ve got you. No need to scratch, honey. I’m not going anywhere.”
She continued to ride you while you cried into her chest. “Mama… I love you! I love you, mama! Please mama! I love you so much.”
“I love you too, darling,” she moaned. “Do you wanna make mama cum, sweet girl? Do you wanna feel mama cum around you?” She lead your hand between her legs, guiding you to play with her clit.
You nodded frantically into her chest, circling your fingers around her swollen bud. “I wanna make you cum. Please. Please cum for me, mama.”
Before you could even finish your sentence, she was crying out, pulsing around the toy. She quickly swatted your hand away, instantly overstimulated by the intensity of her orgasm.
You caught her as she nearly fell backwards. The toy popped out of her and bounced against her stomach. You eased her down against the bed, stuffing a pillow up under her head. You wrapped your arms around her torso, cradling her head in one hand. You pressed a long kiss to her forehead. “I got you, mama.”
You got up, making quick work of removing the harness before crawling back into bed with Wanda, who lay completely breathless. You managed to turn her around, laying her gently against the headboard so you could press a cold glass of water to her lips.
She smiled, taking the water from you and happily gulping it down. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
You smiled back at her and kissed her temple, grabbing your pajama shirt and using it to very gently clean her up. She winced when you touched between her legs, still terribly sensitive from her orgasm.
You grabbed her hand, intertwining her fingers with your own. “It’s okay, mama. I’ll be gentle.”
She smiled down at you, beaming with pride. “You really do remember how to be gentle with mama.”
You grinned. “I learned from the best.”
You tossed the dirty shirt towards the hamper, just barely missing and landing on the towel and blanket from earlier. Wanda chuckled, pulling your body against her own. She guided your head down to her chest, encouraging you to take her nipple into your mouth. “Do you wanna try again, little love?”
You nodded, wrapping your lips around her, suckling peacefully. This time, it didn’t matter that there was no milk there for you. It didn’t matter that you hadn’t grown inside of her, or that she wasn’t the first person to ever hold you. She was holding you now.
She was still your mama, and you were still her baby. Everything else was white noise.
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