When you encounter a person who does not do something that you consider normative, you need to understand that they could be either stating a barrier or expressing a boundary. A barrier is "I would like to partake of the normative activity, but I can't due to other factors." A boundary is "I have made a decision not to participate in the normative activity."
Many people do not believe that boundaries actually exist! This is why it's so common to give a clear "No" on an issue and get inundated with people saying "But have you tried-" They can't conceptualize that anyone might actually want to avoid X thing, so they assume that you totally want to do X and you would love X so much if only they could figure out a way around whatever pesky obstacle is getting in your way. But humanity contains multitudes, and for any given experience you consider vital for happiness I promise there are people who are Just Not Interested.
If someone is stating a boundary, do NOT talk about how sad their life must be, and do NOT try to push them! Just accept that their life experience is very different from your own, and isn't that a beautiful thing?
Barriers are different. Barriers suck. With boundaries, the only problem is other people being dicks. With barriers, the problem is the barrier itself . . . and probably, additionally, people being dicks. There's really not a way to win in the people being dicks department when you don't do something that other people have decided is Necessary For Humaning.
If someone is talking about a barrier they face, still don't talk about how sad their life must be, although it's fine to commiserate with a friend if they're complaining. It's hard! Some barriers are pretty insurmountable; the person might not ever get to do X even though they want to. And a lot of people don't believe that this kind of barrier exists either; we're very much taught that you can do anything if you try hard enough, when that is simply not true. If someone tells you that they can't do something, listen to them and respect that.
The only reason for not doing X that people really acknowledge as real are the surmountable barriers. And these are real, but even in these cases you should always assume that the person knows themself best and not give advice unless they've specifically asked for it. But if they have asked, it's chill to try to brainstorm solutions with them.
As someone who has both things going on, it really sucks that people tend to assume that everything is a) a barrier issue and b) that they personally have the solution to it. Don't do this.
The only way you can tell if something is a boundary or a barrier is to listen to people and believe them.
Example:
If you offer someone a drink and they say, "No thanks . . . I haven't really found anything that I like yet," (barrier, potentially surmountable) it is probably cool to ask them if they're open to trying something new, and if they say yes ask about their tastes to try to find a drink they would enjoy! They might like it or they might not.
If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I can't, it interacts with my meds," (barrier, insurmountable) you can say, "Aw, that sucks!" and offer them something nonalcoholic.
If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I don't drink," (BOUNDARY) you should give them a mocktail and shut the fuck up.
3K notes
·
View notes
relistening to tma and losing my mind more with each episode. anyways. today we're talking about how there are three characters in the show who are meant to be/groomed to be "the chosen one" for some specific purpose (agnes for the lightless flame, gerry to carry on some esoteric bloodline, jon for the watcher's crown/the web's escape plan) and all three of them have that running theme of being completely powerless in every aspect of their lives despite being made to be something powerful. we never get agnes' own perspective on her own life, gerry dies and is kept in limbo for *years*, and jon is marked to be the antichrist from age 8, like all of them were used as tools rather than people and if you couple that with all three at some point expressing that their fantasy is to live a normal life and be a normal person but they were trapped by divinity......fucked up if true
2K notes
·
View notes
So I decided to try this because the image was very funny to me. I tried to draw them true to the style of their respective media!
A hylian, a horse, and a human-turtle mutant step into a car. Two of them don’t know what an automobile is and the one who does can’t drive.
1K notes
·
View notes
I’m sorry but . Your butch Celia is fucking everything to me I think . She’s so <3 the everything .
[ID: Digital drawings of Celia Ripley from The Magnus Protocol on a gray background. She is a slim, muscular Korean woman with pale skin, short black hair, dark brown eyes, dimples, body hair, and eyebags. In all drawings, she is wearing black rectangular glasses, and snakebite piercings, industrials, and x-shaped stud earrings, all gold. The top two drawings are of her in casual wear, with a light green t-shirt with the short sleeves cuffed, purple cuffed jeans, light green socks, dark green Doc Marten boots with gold laces, and a green belt with gold hardware. The upper left drawing is of her from the shoulders up, holding a purple mug with both hands and taking a sip while looking up, and to the right is a full-body of her sitting holding the mug with one hand and leaning slightly on the other, smiling at the viewer. There is a note that says "casual mode" pointing to both of them. The last drawing on the bottom left is much smaller and is of her wearing a light green button down, dark green trousers, light green socks, dress shoes, a belt, wrist cuffs, and shoulder holsters, all purple, and a black necktie. She is kneeling and aiming a golden pistol with a serious expression, and she has a second gold pistol in her other holster. This drawing is labelled as "spy!Celia theory/au" and "(I'm gay let me have this)" end ID]
~~~~
never apologize she is everything to me also <3
747 notes
·
View notes
✶ INTERACTIVE FICTION RECS 2.0 ✶
✶ College Tennis: Origin Story - @collegetennisoriginstory (wip)
✶ REMEMBER, YOU WILL DIE - @vapolis (wip)
✶ Crown of Exile - @ramonag-if (wip)
✶ We Wretched Creatures - @darkfictionjude (wip)
✶ The One Chosen - @parrotwatcher (wip)
✶ Checkmate in three moves - @checkmatein3moves (wip)
✶ Zorlok - @zorlok-if (wip)
✶ Chop Shop - @losergames (wip)
✶ Such Happy Campers - @girlfromthecrypt (wip)
✶ The Bureau - @morbethgames (wip)
✶ Citadel - @bouncyballcitadel (wip)
✶ A Tale of Crowns - @ataleofcrowns (wip)
✶ Bad Ritual - @heart-forge (wip)
✶ The Onryō Of Osaka - @osakaonryoif (wip)
✶ Insert-Rich-Family-Name - @when-life-gives-you-lemons-if
✶ A Mage Reborn: Book One - @mage-parivir (there's also a demo for book 2 but I think the author isn't working on it anymore??)
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ✶
VN'S
✶ Reanimated Heart - @reanimatedheart (wip)
✶ Midheaven: Winds of Ambition (wip)
✶ Witches x Warlocks
✶ Chronicles of Tal'Dun (you can play the first chapter for free)
✶ Going Live! (this one gave me trauma :D)
✶ Therapy with Dr. Albert Krueger
✶ Wake Me Up If You Need Me
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ✶
if recs 1.0 & new projects recs
421 notes
·
View notes