#currently losing myself and it’s causing me to lose people i love

[toruq]

[coquelicoq]

was telling a friend about the double today and got to the part where jiang li stops xue fangfei from killing herself by saying she has to live because she can't get revenge if she's dead. and my friend was like wait what french novel does this remind me of? and i was like babe. it reminds you of the count of monte cristo. the double is better though.

[aastarions]

trying to keep up with everything in life is exhausting and i'm slightly afraid of if or when i'll crash and burn

[gildeddlily]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)

[xveenusx]

Enough

Pairing(s): Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Realizing that no matter what you do, no matter how much you love someone, you are still not enough.

Author’s note: I’ve had a severe case of writer’s block so please don’t hate my disappearance.

Rating: Pure brutal angst

Warnings: fucking painful

__________________________

I think I may have made a small miscalculation.

My eyes trailed over the mass of muscle currently spread out on my bed.

Rafe Cameron.

Kook King, heir to Ward's real estate empire, and asshole extrodinare was sleeping soundly in my bed. It was almost laughable if I wasn't so fucking terrified.

The sunlight danced across his tan skin, the sheets bunched up at his hips leaving little to imagination. My breath caught as my eyes followed the small happy trail causing memories of last night to assualt me.

Sitting on the chaise lounge chair, I curl up against the pillows humming softly to myself. Bringing the mug up to my lips, I bite back a smile at the utter relaxtaion on his face.

When Rafe told me to pack a bag, my stomach flipped with nerves. Being the maid of the infamous Cameron family wasn't exactly ideal in the eyes of his family let alone being a pogue. So we kept our relationship a secret at his request. He had too much to lose if his family reacted poorly.

People wouldn't understand. Ward wouldn't understand. That's what he always told me.

Yet, as much as I tried to understand his reasoning, a small part of me ached at the thought of it being much simpler: I just wasn't enough.

It was exahusting to say the least. Always having to hide and watch as other women with more social status and money than me throw themselves at him. It didn't help that Rafe had a tendency to flirt back causing the green monster known as jealousy to rear its ugly head in my face.

So I stuck with what I knew how to do: clean.

And just as I begin to fall off the deep end, straight over a cliff into overthinking, Rafe always manages to pull me back out. This time he did it by offering a small getaway.

The Cameron's weren't set to use their beach house for another month or so, leaving this entire property for Rafe and I to simply enjoy each other's company. Something we rarely get to do.

There was no need to pretend here.

A groan pulled me out of my thoughts directing my eyes to the bed. A cool salty breeze swept in from the open balcony doors, the sounds of waves crashing agaisnt the shore soothed me.

Rafe peered at me from under his arm with a frown marring his features.

"What's with that face?"

"I don't like waking up alone." He complained, staring at me expectantly.

Giddiness singes every nerve in my body as I set down my mug and scurry over to the bed. The moment my knees hit the bed, strong arms envelope me and tug me into a warm prison.

"Mmmmh." Rafe hums, burying his face into the nape of my neck while his hand slowly tugs my leg over his hip. A small giggle slips from my lips at his softness.

"Are you laughing at me?" His voice rumbled with sleep.

"Yes, you’re a very simple man to please."

"I didn't have you, and now I do. There, it's simple."

My heart melted at his words. For someone who struggled wiht expressing how he felt, Rafe always managed to knock me on my ass.

"What did you wanna do today?" I asked, trailing my fingertips along his face, placing every freckle, every spot to memory.

Blue crytsalized eyes follow me every move. "You. In every room in this house. Then outside."

Blushing at his words, I huffed in fake annoyance and playfully shoved his face away from me. "Rafe, I'm being serious."

"I'm being dead serious, baby." He nipped at my fingers before rolling over onto his back, dragging me directly on top.

I rest my chin on the tops of my hands that laid on his chest and stare at the beautiful man below me. Rafe's fingers thread themselves into my hair brushing it softly, alomst lulling me to sleep.

I wanted to capture this moment forever. The sound of the seagulls chirping, the smell of the salty breeze, the warmth of his body under mine, and the utter adortion that dances in his eyes as he looks at me. It was intimate and real. And for a moment, I allowed myself to dream about the possibility of this becoming a reality.

The abilty to hold his hand in public and kiss his body in private. Being able to go on dates and be on his arm for events and dinners. Hanging out with his friends and his family because I knew what they meant to him. Being able to wake up in his bed rather than sneaking out in the middle of the night. I wanted it all.

Our picture perfect bubble. And consider me naive, but I thought this moment would last forever. But the thing about bubbles is they always pop in the end.

"Guess what?" Rafe asked, his cerulean orbs intense and sincere.

A beaming smile stretched across my lips at the familiar phrase he always used. "What?"

"I love-"

"I love you." I beat him to it, making him let out a deep bellyed laugh. I was memoriezed, enamoured by every little thing he did. I wanted to hear it again and again.

Opening my mouth, "No take backs-"

A knock on the door interrupts me.

That's when our bubble pops.

"Rafe? Open up." Sarah Cameron's voice fillters in from the other side of the door.

My eyes dart to Rafe, only for his face to be painted with sheer panic. In seconds, I'm shoved off the side of the bed and fall onto the floor in a heap of sheets.

My mind took a moment to catch up with my body. But when it did, the flood of emotions that crashed into me were nothing short of excruciating. An immediate lump formed in my throat at his actions as I try to make quick excuses for him but nothing came to mind.

"Just stay down, please." The sound of his request has me closing my eyes, his words hitting me deep, knifelike in the size of the wounds that they left.

I nodded softly. I remain still on my side on the cold floor as I numbly stare at the wall.

"Sarah, what the fuck are you doing here? I had the beach house for the weekend." His words were low and sharp, nothing like how he spoke to me mere seconds ago.

"Chill out. My friends and I wanted to get away a little, plus I figured you were already here, so. "

"You brought those fucking pogues here?"

I hear her scoff. "Your friends are worse."

"Just make sure they don't steal anything. I know it's hard for them considering they wouldn't see this type of money in a life time." His words were cruel, twisting the knife deeper into my chest.

I couldn't help but wonder if there was a double meaning behind his words. I was a pogue, just like Sarah's friends, and it would take me years to afford even a fraction of what's in this beach house.

Was that how he saw me? Was this the reason why we couldn't be public?

"Have you seen her? She wasn't at the house when I left." Sarah's question drew me back to the present.

I held my breath as I waited for him to answer about my whereabouts. I couldn't take another hit.

"I know you have about two brain cells, but please tell me why you would think I know where the help is?"

All my breath left my body and I fought the urge to scream. A heavy weight sat on my chest as I blankly stared at the floor, my eyeballs burning in absolute mortification.

"God, you're such an asshole."

"I aim to please. Now leave me alone." With that, Rafe slammed the door shut but I refused to move a muscle.

Instead, I tried to focus on my breath. It was the only thing that would keep me from having a panic attack. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but it's like my body forgot how to breathe.

Tears finally began to fall silently as I gasped for breath, clutching the sheet closer to my chest. Humilation pricked my very being as his words play on repeat in my mind.

Rafe was the best part of my day. He made me want things I didn't even know I wanted. And yet, this was how he viewed me. So small and insiginifcant.

Footsteps move in my direction but I paid them no mind. Moving was impossible, so I just stayed in the spot where Rafe thought I belonged— on the cold hard floor.

"I know how it looks, just give me a chance to explain." I felt him kneel beside me, his hand reaching to cup my face. I jerked my face away from him and return my attention to the wall.

"Can you please get off the floor?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"This is where you wanted me, right?" The words left a stale taste in my mouth.

My heart pounded in my throat as a hot flush filled my cheeks.

"Look at me." He demanded.

I couldn't. It hurt too much.

"Baby, please. Look at me." He touched my chin and I felt my body shudder.

"Don't touch me." The words tore out of my chest as I wrenched myself away from him.

Rafe's eyes tracked my movement and his face became very still as if contemplating his next move.

The level of betrayal I felt must have been painted on my face, because his expression shifted to one of regret.

"I made a mistake-"

"Stop." I snapped, lifting my hand to cut him off. "Get out. I need to change and leave before Sarah see's me."

"I drove you, where are you going to go when you don't have a car?"

My eyes narrow at his tone. Once again he was painting me as this helpless girl that was nothing without him.

"I have two legs that work perfetly fine."

Rafe crossed his bulging arms against his toned chest. "You're not leaving until we talk."

A fake laugh past my lips. "We're done, there's nothing left to talk about."

He let out a growl of frustation. "We're not breaking up."

Was he delusional?

"This is me breaking up with you. We are done, Rafe."

Rafe's icey blue eyes narrowed into slits. "Stop trying to break up with me."

"You threw me off the bed!" I shouted, my hands pointing to the floor where I laid moments ago, the shame still fresh as an open wound.

"You threw me off the bed." I repeated softer, my voice breaking at the end. "The bed, Rafe. Just so Sarah didn't see you with me."

"I shouldn't have done that-"

"It happened. It's done. Just let me leave."

Protecting what little self respect I had left was my only goal. No matter how much I loved him, it wasn't worth this constant stream of self doubt and humiliation that seemed to follow us like a plague.

Rafe stared at me for a moment before he jumped into action. Heading towards my suitcase, I watch frozen as he goes through my clothes, picking an outfit for me.

Taking several strides to me, Rafe shoved the clothes into my arms, his breath heavy. "Put these on."

"Rafe, what the hell are you doing-"

"I made a mistake. One that I'm going to fix right now. So stop fighting with me and put these on."

Unease filled me chest as my eyes dart to the clothes.

"How?"

"No more hiding. You and me, okay?"

I stared into his hopeful gaze, looking for even a flash of insincerity or deceit, but only found sheer determination. "Rafe, you can get out of this. I'm giving you an out-"

He shakes his head roughly, strands of golden hair falling on his forehead. "I don't want an out, I want you. So put the clothes on so I can go tell the world I love you."

I snorted, "Seems a bit melodramatic. Let's start small, yeah?"

Pushing his hair back, a sexy smile pulled at his lips. "Small."

I made my decision. Turning around, I grabbed the clothes and began to dress.

I wiped my sweaty hands against my mini white sundress as nerves begin to prick every bit of my skin. Rafe stood in front of me, his glacial eyes soft, with his hand held out for mine. "Ready, baby?"

Hope inflated my lungs as I placed my trembling hand in his, the cool feel of his rings brining a familiar type of comfort.

Rafe leads us out of the room and towards the staircase where voices floated up from downstairs. I was nervous. Extremely nervous. He was going to do it. Rafe was going to introduce me as his girlfriend to his sister and her friends, no less.

The sound of our footsteps echoed against the giant house causing the voices to slowly die away.

Coming into view, Sarah and the pogues are all perched in the living room wearing beach attire. An open bottle of tequila and shot glasses are spread along the table.

All eyes zone in on us before they zoom in on our clased hands. Sarah's eyes widened and I fought the urge to pull my hand from Rafe's grasp. As if sensing my thoughts, Rafe squeezed my hand reassuringly and moved me slightly in front of him.

He cleard his throat. "I uh-"

His eyes shot to mine. I let my fingers brush against his arm in encouragement, a proud smile gracing my lips.

This was the first step in the right direction. Once we told Sarah, it would be easier with each passing person.

Butterflies swarmed my stomach like a zoo. I knew how hard this was for him, but he was still doing this for me, for us. Rafe was finally making us a priority. The unattainble future now felt like it was within my reach.

"Sarah, there's something I want to tell you. I've um-well I've been seeing-"

The front door slammed.

"Looks like we're missing all the fun." Ward Cameron walked in, hand in hand with Rose. A loose linen shirt with thin pants dress his body with a hat and an expensive pair of sungalsses cover his face.

I felt Rafe's grip slowly loosen on my hand. Panic clawed at my throat as I turn my head to look at him. Rafe stared directly ahead with his jaw clenched. He refused to even look at me.

In a last ditch effort to cling onto the invisible string that held us together, I tightened my grip on his hand but Rafe jerked his hand away.

I felt the pressure in my chest finally pop and the string that once tethered us together finally tear. Dread sat in my stomach like lead and bile traveled up my throat.

He made his decision and once again, it wasn't me.

Heat rushed up my neck as I left my arms hang limply at my side. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't think. My shoulders slumped as I bit down on my tongue hard enought to draw blood.

It kept me from screaming.

"Rafe, thank god you brought the help. Though it looks like she hasn't been doing much cleaning." Rose tsked as she looked at the littered table in distaste. "Honey, be a dear and make us new drinks. Then when you have a minute, our bags are out front. Go ahead and put them in our room."

With a wave of a hand she dismissed me, as her and Ward walk passed me with no other acknowlegment.

My mouth went dry as I clenched my shaky shands together. I could feel Sarah's gaze drilling into the side of my head, but I couldn't look at her. Instead, I once again looked at the bane of my existance. The source of this crippling pain the crushes every inch of my soul.

"Rafe..." My voice trembled as I begged him, pleaded, for him to look at me. Just once.

I wanted him to see my face. He refused, the only hint of his turmoil was the bob of his adam's apple.

Swallowing my pride, I put my head down and do what I do best: clean.

____________________

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me alive. I spent the rest of the day doing every little thing Rose asked. I kept my head down and said not one word.

Rafe made my place in his life very clear so I was going to be exactly what he wanted me to be. The perfect little maid.

The entire Cameron family sat at the table for dinner, John B included, as I gently set each of their plates down in front of them. I held my breath once I reached Rafe, knowing that one hint of his expensive musky cologne would send me into a fit of tears.

"Thank you." The timber of his voice caused me to close my eyes briefly in pain.

A familiar touch to my wrist made me jerk away and clear my throat. I continue serving dinner, forcing myself to ignore the gravity that's pulling me towards him.

"That'll be all, you can go relax for a bit. We'll need you back to clean up, of course."

"Of course." My smile was brittle. I allowed myself only a glance. Rafe glared down at his plate, hands clenched into fists at his side.

My feet moved on their own accord and soon I found myself outside, standing beside the pool that overlooked the shore. Taking in gulps of air, I placed my head in my hands.

Starting over was never something I planned. Once I met Rafe, everything else shifted into perspective. All I ever thought about was moving forward with him and starting a life together. One that he would be proud of. One where I didn't have to hide.

"I'm sorry." The words came from behind me and burned a whole straight through my chest.

I choked back on my tears that threatened to drown me and stare down at the rag in my hands.

"Baby." He moved closer now, his heat pressing into my side.

A small shake of my head was all I could muster. The armour I placed around my delicate heart was getting weaker with each passing second.

"I said, I'm sorry." His hand reaches for my waist, turning me to face my destruction.

A light blue linen shirt paired with white six inch seamed shorts don his body. A large gold watch decorated his wrist to match the shiny gold necklace that rested on his chest.

Looking down at myself, a simple tee and leggings, the contrast was so striking it was laughable. In what world had I fooled myself into thinking Rafe Cameron was mine.

Deciding to proctect my sanity, I moved back towards the house with every intention of cleaning up before grabbing my bag and leaving when Rafe blocked my escape.

"Did you hear me? I'm so fucking sorry, for all of it."

"I heard you." Indifference lacing every word.

Rafe gowled, running his hands through his hair in frustation at my lack of emotion. "Stop acting like you don't care and just talk to me."

"I don't care what your family thinks of me and I don't care what you think of me. I dont care anymore, Rafe."

Rafe gripped my chin and his irate gaze burned me. "Tell me what to do to fix it."

There was nothing left of me for him to fix.

The sound of Ward calling out my name is enough to distract Rafe. Pulling my face from his grasp, I promplty turned around and headed towards the house.

"Stop fucking walking." He barked out harshly.

Ignoring his words, I continue to head in the direction of the house. Only a few more hours and I can leave with my head held high despite the gaping hole in my chest.

"I swear to God, stop walking." I could hear his footsteps behind me causing a rush of adrenaline to spread like wildfire through my veins.

"Last time I checked, you work for my family. My last name is fucking Cameron so if I tell you to stop walking, you stop fucking walking." The words are cruel and dark and they have their desired effect because I stop immediately in my tracks.

My eyes began to burn as I pivoted on my heel and slwoly turned to face him. His gaze hardened and I can see him contemplating something before a vicious smirk decorates the face I love.

A glass tumblr was in his hand and I watched in absolute shock as he tilted the cup, spilling the dark liquid onto the floor. The rag in my hand suddenly weighed eight tons as I realized his intent.

"Clean it up."

My blood turned ice cold and a sound a disbelief left my lips.

"I said, Clean. It. Up." He gestured to the floor.

I searched his eyes for anything, for everything, but there's nothing there. Looking back down at the mess, I nodded my head and slowly dropped to my knees.

Tears blurred my vision as I scrubbed the floor clean, wanting nothing more than to disappear. Our fate was finally sealed in that moment.

Leaning back on the heels of my feet, I swallowed. Tears clung to my lashes but the damage was already done. The trails the tears left in their wake burned into my skin as a reminder of his cruelty.

His cold mask finally cracked at the sight of my tears. Rafe took a step in my direction but something in my face made him halt.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Cameron?” I averted my eyes from his.

A harsh noise escaped his lips then he reached out and grabbed my shoulders. I closed my eyes at the heat of his touch and my lips began to quiver.

“I just wanted you to talk to me….” Rafe spoke softly, his words pained.

I wiped my tears harshly and forced myself to look at him for the last time. His hard glacial eyes study my face.

The memory from this morning continued to fade out of my reach. Pain filled me as I realized that was the last time we would ever be together.

“Am I free to go, Mr. Cameron?”

His face crumbled. For a second, one second, a twisted sense of happiness hit me at the sight of his pain. Rafe did this to us. Not his family, not his friends, but him.

Rafe’s face became very still. He nodded slightly and relief filled me. I stared into his eyes, hoping he could see all the love I had been so willing to shower him with, but it was now too late.

Giving him my back, I allowed the dirty rag in my hand drop. 20 more steps. That’s all that stood between me and the next chapter of my story. One that didn’t include him.

Each step seemed to get heavier the farther I walked away from Rafe. I was wrapped around a haze of heartbreak that almost made my movements mechanical.

I entered the house, numb to the bone, and gathered all my things. Everything around me was out of focus as I dragged my suitcase towards the front door.

I could see Rose from the corner of my eye, her mouth moving, but the ringing in my ears only seemed to get louder. Pushing past her, I headed straight for the door and forced myself not to look back.

Everything was different now. In a way, so was I.

One foot in front of the other, I walked down the drive way. The ringing in my ears and the adrenaline that pumped through my veins was suddenly dulled at the sound of the door slamming open behind me.

Loud footsteps echoed behind me before my arms are grabbed and I’m forced to turn around.

Rafe’s eyes were wild with panic as he panted in front of me. His entire appearance was disheveled with his hair sticking out in all directions.

“Don’t go.”

I was so close to being out of his grasp and being free of this agony that gripped me so tightly it made it hard to breathe.

“You were never mine. Were you?” The question slipped past my lips before I knew it.

“I love you. I do, please just come back inside and I’ll do what you want. I’ll tell Ward and Rose right now.” His blue eyes held so much hope, but it wasn’t enough. The magic was all gone, replaced with this cruel torment.

“I was yours, in every way possible. But, it didn’t matter what I did. I still wasn’t enough for you. I’m never going to be good enough, am I?” My voice cracked, but the words were out along with the realization of how painfully accurate they were.

Warm hands cradled my face pulling me towards his. Rafe rested his forehead on mine, his eyes boring into mine. I could feel the slight tremble in his hands.

“That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”

“How could I possibly know that? You never do anything that says otherwise.”

“I love a man who can’t even hold my hand in public.” He couldn’t hold me gaze, instead he turned it to the floor with his jaw clenched.

“You knew who I was when we started this. You knew what came with being with a Cameron. Our situation is much more complicated than you’re making it fucking seem. So I didn’t hold your hand, now you’re going to leave me?”

His logic was horribly flawed.

“Our situation is not complicated. All you had to do was love me the way I loved you.”

“Whether you like it or not, you’re a fucking maid,” Rafe said through gritted teeth,” The maid to my family, no less, and you expect to be welcomed in with open arms? This isn’t a fairytale, wake up.”

”Then what was the point of all of this? Of me loving you and you loving me, if it was never going to go anywhere.”

“The point was that we were together and we were happy.” Rafe let out a frustrated noise and shook his head. But it was clear, he wasn’t getting it. I knew nothing I’d say would ever get through to him.

“Were we? Together, I mean. Because I was always at your beck and call. Literally and figuratively. Where were you for my college graduation? Where were you when my dad died? I’ll tell you where you were,” I pressed my finger into his chest, “You. Weren’t. There. Instead, you chose to love me from afar because you care more about the opinion of sheep than you do me.”

I couldn’t stop talking. It was as though a wall cracked and suddenly every emotion I held in was flooding through.

“Look at me.” I shouted, grabbing his chin and forcing him to stare. “I want you to look me in the fucking eye. Look at the damage you caused. You did this to us. ”

“Stop being cruel.”

“Cruel? You threw your drink on the floor and made me clean it up. Did seeing me on my knees make you feel big and strong?”

He tilted his head, his expression darkening. “Enough. Come back inside, now.”

“I wanted everything for you.” I laughed at how incredibly stupid and blind I had been. “And you can’t even hold my fucking hand.”

Race’s eyes softened marginally. “Tell me what to do. How can I fix this?”

My stomach tightened. Steeling myself, I swallowed the lump in my throat and pushed out the next words. “You can’t.”

“I can, but you’re not give me a fucking chance here.” His words came out as a plea.

“Being with you was a choice I made every day. One that you clearly couldn’t make, so I’m making it for you. We’re done.

His jaw ticked. ”Try and fucking leave me.”

I wanted nothing more than to run back into his arms and comfort him, despite it all. But I knew, if I was going to survive this at all, I couldn’t be with him.

“I’m always running behind you, trying to keep up. Trying to be everything you want and everything you need, but I’m all out of breath. I have nothing left to give you. But it’s still more than you ever gave me.” With those being my parting words, I clutched onto the handle of my suitcase in a death grip and force myself to walk away from him.

My shoulders jump at the sound of something shattering behind me.

“I love you.” Rafe screamed at the top of his lungs from behind me. His voice was brutal and laced with pain.

Not enough.

_________________

Side note: pls let me know what you think! I’ve been gone for several months so I’m a bit rusty:) I am working on the second part of Hate as promised!

[storiesforallfandoms]

one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr;8 mile

word count: 3481

request?: no

description: she’s always been viewed as just “one of the guys” despite having feelings for one of her friends, and now it’s looking likely that she’s going to lose him to the wannabe model

pairing: jimmy smith jr. x female!reader

warnings: swearing, pining

masterlist (one, two, three)

I had known Jimmy and Future since we were a bunch of snot nosed kids causing trouble on the playground in elementary school. Cheddar Bob was next, having followed us around like a lost puppy until we finally adopted him. Iz and Sol joined our little group in high school, and then we were complete.

For as long as I had known the guys, they considered me to be...well, one of the guys. Even after I went through puberty and actually started looking like a girl, I was still just one of the guys. It didn’t bother me for the most part. When you’re a kid, it doesn’t really matter if you’re a boy or a girl. We all played the same, caused trouble the same. But when we hit puberty, I found myself not liking being considered “one of the guys” anymore.

Especially when I realized I had feelings for Jimmy.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a part of the friend group and I couldn’t ask for a better set of friends. What I definitely could ask for, though, was for those friends to recognize I was a woman and treat me as such. Namely, I wished Jimmy would realize that.

One Friday evening, just like every Friday evening, I had just pulled into my driveway and was walking up to my front door when I heard another car pulling up behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know it was Future.

“Get your ass changed, we’re going out!” he called.

“Future, I just got home,” I said.

“So?”

“So maybe I don’t want to go out with you chuckle fucks after I just worked an eight hour shift.”

“We both know that’s not the truth.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. He was right, I did want to go out. We went out every Friday night. It was a group tradition at this point. If I was seriously turning it down, there’d have to be something wrong with me.

“Give me 10 minutes,” I told Future before slipping into my house to change.

I was in and out in less time than I told him. I just changed out of my work clothes and into jeans and a t-shirt, and was ready to go again. I got into the passenger seat of Future’s car and he didn’t even wait for me to buckle myself in before he was backing out of my driveway and driving off to get the others.

“I fear for my life every time I get in the car with you,” I joked as I managed to buckle my seatbelt.

“Well, lucky for you, Jimmy agreed to drive tonight. His car can hold more people anyways.”

“Who else is going with us?”

“Just the usual.”

I looked over at Future in confusion. His tone definitely made me think there was someone else coming along for the night, but it seemed he wasn’t going to tell me. I couldn’t figure out who could possibly be joining us that Future wouldn’t want to tell me about beforehand.

We pulled into the trailer park and parked next to Jimmy’s car. Jimmy was exiting his trailer before we were even out of the car, as usual. Jimmy was usually waiting for us to show up and would be itching to leave his mom’s place as soon as he could. Jimmy gave Future one of their high five hugs, and patted me on the shoulder. It was just a step up from me also getting a high five hug, but not by much.

We got into Jimmy’s car, all three of us in the front. We started for Iz and Sol first, then Cheddar Bob. Once the car was full it was nothing but noise as each of the guys was talking over one another with Jimmy’s radio blaring as extra noise.

“How was work, by the way?” Jimmy asked me over the current argument between Future and Sol.

“Same bullshit as always,” I responded.

“I guess we should be lucky you even agreed to come out with us after working all day, meanwhile all we do is sit on our asses like a bunch of bums.”

I playfully nudged his shoulder. “Hey, you work, too.”

“I wouldn’t consider the Stamping work.”

I chuckled. I noticed then that we weren’t headed for the club. “Where are we going?”

“To pick up Alex.”

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I looked over at Future. I couldn’t tell if he was actually deep in conversation with Iz or if he was just ignoring me. So this was who was joining us that he didn’t want to tell me about.

Alex.

She was a girl Jimmy had met at his work. She was a model apparently, or was trying to be one. Jimmy didn’t talk about her much, but the other guys didn’t waste a single moment in teasing him about her. It didn’t take a genius to realize he liked her.

Alex was waiting as Jimmy pulled up. She was wearing her usual mini skirt so short that you could basically see everything whenever she moved. It made me feel very self conscious about my choice in jeans.

Future opened the door and got out.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked. I already knew the answer and hoped he’d see the look of begging on my face.

“I’ll get in the back with the idiots,” he said. “I’d assume Alex will be more comfortable pressed up against you instead of Sol.”

“Yo, fuck you!” Sol snapped.

I hoped my clenched jaw would go unnoticed as Alex slid into the seat next to me. Her eyes immediately went to Jimmy and they shared a smile that made me wish I could throw myself from the moving car.

We got to the club and piled into our usual table while Future got the first round of shots. Cheddar Bob and Iz were sat on one end, I was in the middle, Jimmy and Alex were sat next to me, and Sol had pulled up a chair. When Future returned, he slid in next to Cheddar Bob. The table chorused with cheers as we held up our shots then shot them back.

I tried to play it cool, but having to sit next to Alex and Jimmy while they were flirting up a storm was making me more tense by the minute. When Sol offered to get the next round of drinks, I jumped to give him the money to buy me two of the strongest drinks he could for me. I downed the first one quickly, but took my time with the second. It didn’t take long for the shot and the first drink to kick in. My head was spinning and I felt care free and light as air.

At some point, when the drinks had hit me hard enough, I shoved against Iz’s shoulder and said (or rather slurred), “Hey, can you guys move? I gotta pee.”

“Yo, go the other way,” Future said. “There’s three of us here and only two on your other side.”

“You’re gonna break the dam this early in the night?” Sol asked. “You may as well sit on the end when you come out. You’ll be back and forth for the next few hours.”

“Look, I don’t care who moves and I don’t care where I sit when I come back, I just have to pee now.”

“Here, we’ll move,” Jimmy said.

He and Alex moved out of the booth and allowed me to get out. When I stood, I realized just how drunk I already was as I almost immediately lost my balance. I felt someone grab hold of me as the rest of the table chorused in laughter at my drunkenness. When I looked up, it was Jimmy that had taken hold of me. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I’m getting you water when you come back,” he said. “And you gotta pace yourself.”

“You’re always looking out for me,” I said. “You’re such a good friend.”

I put emphasis on the friend for my own benefit, but there was also some level of petty in the word. A reminder for both of us that that was the only way he saw me: as a friend. One of the guys that he went out drinking with every weekend, that he smoked with in the basement of someone’s house, that he ran around Detroit with causing mayhem since we were tykes.

I saw a look flash across his face that I couldn’t quite decipher, but I assumed I was just seeing things in my drunken haze.

I managed to make it to the bathroom on my own without incident. Once I was safely inside of a stall, I was able to sit down again. I almost didn’t want to get up and go back out to the table. Sitting was safe. The world didn’t spin when I was sat down. But I also couldn’t be sat on the toilet in a club bathroom all night either. I knew Sol was right about me going back and forth to the bathroom now that I had broken the dam, but if I put enough time between this bathroom visit and the next, maybe the spinning wouldn’t be as bad by then.

When I stepped out of the stall to wash my hands, I jumped to see that someone was waiting there.

Alex.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said.

I waved away her apology. “It’s fine. I just didn’t hear anyone else come in.”

I stepped around her to wash my hands. She turned to face me as I did. “Listen, I need to talk to you about something.”

I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Is there anything going on between you and Jimmy?”

The question took me by surprise. Why would she think there was anything between us? In all the time that Jimmy had known Alex, I had only met her once before after the lot of us had run into her at a house party. I remembered Jimmy only having eyes for her that night, too. There was no reason I could even fathom that she would believe Jimmy and I had a thing going on when he was so clearly into her.

“No,” I said. “He’s my best friend. Has been since we were kids.”

“And that’s it? Just friendship?”

“Yeah. What’s this about?”

She sighed. “I really like Jimmy, and I thought he liked me, too. But he’s never really asked me out or anything yet. I didn’t know if maybe you two had a thing going on and I read the whole situation wrong. I’ve known far too many guys who claim to be just friends with a girl and turns out they’re actually fucking around.”

Trust me, I wish that’s what was going on here.

Against my better judgement, I put my hands on Alex’s shoulders and said, “If you really like Jimmy and you want things to be more serious, maybe you should make the first move.”

She looked as though she had never even considered that option. “You think so? That won’t seem too...direct?”

“Who gives a shit? Why do men always have to be the ones to make the first move? Most of them are fucking idiots anyways and wouldn’t know if a girl liked them even if she was telling him to his face.” Alex chuckled. “If you want him, go get him.”

She nodded. I was taken by surprise when she suddenly pulled me into a hug. I reluctantly patted her on the back and tried to put the best smile I could muster on my face.

“You’re the best,” she said. “I think we’re going to be great friends.”

I bit my tongue as she hurried out the bathroom door.

That interaction was enough to sober me up more than I wanted. I could feel myself tearing up, but tried to fight it back. I turned to lean against the sink and looked up at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t help but notice everything that Alex had that I didn’t: gorgeous face, sexy voice, body of a model. I couldn’t even dream of leaving the house in a skirt as short as hers without feeling completely embarrassed and exposed. Of course Jimmy would like her, and of course he was going to say yes when she asked him to go out with her.

I hung my head as the tears slipped from my eyes and ran down my face into the sink. I prayed no one would come into the bathroom and find me here crying, and luckily someone was looking out for me because no one did. Once I felt like I had cried myself dry, I quickly splashed my face with cold water and tried to pretend everything was alright. I figured everyone was going to question where I had been for so long, but I didn’t feel like coming up with a fake answer to tell them. If I told them to fuck off, they wouldn’t pry.

My steps faltered a little when I exited the bathroom and saw that Alex and Jimmy were missing from the table. I was tempted to go right to the bar and get another drink, but I pushed through and went back to my group of friends.

“Hey, you good?” Future asked as I sat down in the booth.

“Yeah, just sobered up a little,” I responded. “Where did Jimmy and Alex go?”

“Alex asked to talk to him in private,” Cheddar Bob responded. “But that was a while ago, so who knows where they are now.”

I noticed both Future and Iz elbow him, causing him to spill some of his drink on himself. I didn’t care to imagine where Jimmy had taken Alex after she asked him out. I didn’t need to have that image burned in my mind for the rest of the night.

Everyone went back to their conversations, but I found myself not paying any attention to them. I kept glancing around the club, expecting to see Jimmy and Alex tucked away in a private corner, sucking face as if they were trying to blend into one person. Or maybe they’d be on the dance floor, practically dry humping in front of everyone. I didn’t think Jimmy was one to dance, but Alex had enough allure that she could’ve probably convinced him. But I didn’t see them, and that almost made it all worse.

Eventually I stood from the table suddenly, bringing everyone’s attention to me. “I need some air.”

“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Cheddar Bob asked.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I said. I turned and quickly made for the exit.

Once I was outside, I breathed in the cool night air. It filled my lungs, but it didn’t seem to help soothe me at all.

“You alright?”

“Jesus!” I hissed as I turned towards the voice. It was Jimmy, leaning up against the club. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Free country,” he said with a shrug. “Are you good?”

“Just needed air. It felt very stuffy inside.”

I walked over to stand next to him. The rough brick wall dug into my back through my t-shirt. It was cool out, but not enough to make me feel like I needed a jacket or anything. I was standing so close to Jimmy that I could feel the heat coming from his body anyways.

“Where’s Alex?” I asked. “The guys said you two went off to talk in private.”

“She left,” he responded.

I looked at him in shock. “What? And went where?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Home, I guess?”

“Don’t you think you should’ve driven her? It’s not exactly the safest for her to be walking alone at night.”

“I offered, but she turned it down. Said she didn’t wanna see me ever again.”

I’ve definitely missed a lot of things here. “What happened?”

Jimmy sighed. “Well, she got up and went to the bathroom after you, said something about wanting to make sure you were okay where you were so drunk. Then when she came back she asked me if we could talk in private. She brought me outside and told me how she had been waiting for me to ask her out properly since we first met and she was tired of waiting, so she made the first move to ask me if I wanted to go on an official date with her.”

“And you said...”

He looked at me for a second before responding, “No. Obviously.”

Well, yeah, it was obvious that he said no. But what wasn’t obvious was why he had said no.

“I thought you were into her,” I said.

He laughed. “Who told you that?”

I shrugged. “The guys seemed convinced you were.”

“The guys don’t know shit about shit. They just like talking a big game and making fun of each other.” I just looked at him, waiting to see if there was any more he had to say. He looked at me then away again. “No, I’m not into her. She’s beautiful, yes, but I don’t see her that way.”

“Wait, so if you don’t see her like that, then why did you invite her tonight?”

“I didn’t. She was at the Stamping today and asked if she could come along. I guess this was her plan.”

Well, it wasn’t her plan until I told her to go after Jimmy, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.

I felt like everything had just been flipped upside down. I was so sure that Jimmy had been reciprocating Alex’s feelings. It seemed like that anyways. Or maybe it seemed like that because I was making it seem that way. I was projecting something onto the two of them that wasn’t really there, I guess because of my jealousy?

“Sucks that she didn’t handle the rejection well,” I said.

“It wasn’t the rejection, it was the reason I rejected her.”

My brows furrowed together. “The reason being...you didn’t like her like that?”

“No. Well...yes. Kind of.”

“You know, for a man who can freestyle, you’re god awful with your words right now.”

He laughed and lightly nudged me with his shoulder. “It was the reason I said I don’t have feelings for her. I told her that I don’t like her because I like someone else and she didn’t handle that very well.”

I could feel my stomach turning to knots again. “Oh? Didn’t like the competition?”

“No, she said something along the lines of she should’ve trusted her gut, and that all guys who hang out with girls end up fucking them in the end.”

It took a second for what he said to register in my brain. When it did, I thought back to Alex talking to me in the bathroom and asking me if there was anything going on between Jimmy and I because she knew of too many guys who were friends with girls who they were actually fucking. Then, I put the pieces together in my head.

When I turned to look at Jimmy again, he was already watching me, waiting for me to come to the conclusion. “Me?!”

“Jesus, that took you long enough.”

“What do you mean that took me long enough?! Why the fuck haven’t you told me?!”

“Because you’re my best friend! We’ve known each other since kindergarten. If I told you I liked you and you didn’t like me back, that would fuck everything up between us and within the friend group. I would rather feel this way in silence than risk losing you as a friend.”

“If you had told me I would’ve told your dumbass that I like you, too, and I have since high school.”

“Wait...for real?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, for real!”

We both stood in silence. We shared a look, and then a smile broke out on Jimmy’s face. I couldn’t help but mirror it, and soon we were both laughing. With the absurdity of the situation, we couldn’t not laugh.

“We’re both dumbasses,” I said between fits of laughter.

“I guess so,” Jimmy agreed. “That brings up the question, though, of where do we go from here?”

“Well, I think we try a date, just the two of us and not those other idiots in there, and we see how things progress from there.”

He smiled. “Okay, I like that idea.”

“And we promise that if things don’t work out, we stay friends.”

“And we don’t tell the guys about any of this.”

I laughed. “Okay deal.”

[bagerfluff]

Nico Di Angelo x Will Solace x Son of Chaos reader?

AN: Thank you for requesting and I hope you like this. I also took the liberty of picking my own prompt since you didn't give me one so I hope you are okay with that. It is perfectly okay to not give a request without a prompt but that just means I pick one myself.

Chaos Follows You, But We Don't Care

Nico di Angelo x Will Solace x Son of Chaos Reader

Prompt - Angry Confessions

You didn't know what you were doing.

You were currently sitting on a high branch in a tree. You had ran here after the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you. You've been here for a couple hours and you were still scared and embarrassed.

You want to know what happened?

You might have confessed to your two closest best friends. Nico and Will. They were your friends since you first came to camp. You've been friends with them for years. And you've had a crush on the both of them for as long.

You always knew you liked guys and that you were Polyamorous, but why did you have to fall in love with both of them. It was even worse when they told you that they were dating. It made you feel like a third wheel.

It hurt.

But you couldn't tell them; they didn't love you like you loved them. So you kept it hidden. No matter how much it hurt. Watching them act all lovey dovey. It made you a little sick. The pain in your heart when you watched them.

You couldn't even describe it.

So one day when you were hanging out with them at the beach, the sun beating down on your skin. The sounds of the crashing waves. The whispers of Nico and Will. It was pretty shitty. You were sitting a few feet to their left.

They weren't even talking to you. They were your friends, but they were too distracted with each other. You started to get angry and you yelled. You stood up and yelled at the two boys about how you loved them. But how it hurt that they didn't love you back and how they ignored you.

After you were done yelling you realized what you had said you had ran. You took one look and Nico's shocked face and Will's sad one and ran. You ran, even when you heard Will calling for you, you ran till you found this tree and climbed up it.

You've been here ever since.

You didn't want to go back. You didn't want to face Nico and Will. You didn't want them to have to tell you that they didn't love you like that. You didn't want them to tell you that you couldn't be their friends any more. So you stayed here.

Even when you heard the dinner bell you didn't move. You were fine. Though you were hungry you didn't move. You felt like crying. You blew it. You were going to lose your only friends. You made chaos. You did what every one you would do.

You were a son of Chaos. Her name said what she did just fine. That's why people were never your friends. Even before you knew you were a demigod, you made chaos. Everywhere you went chaos followed like a lost puppy.

You always made a mess of things and added stress to everyone's day. You never meant to, you were a kid. But people didn't know that. They thought you did it on purpose. Even when you found out you were a demigod.

People were still wary of you.

Nobody talked to you, nobody went near you. You tried to stop the chaos you made. You tried to stop your powers. You had the powers to cause chaos from nothing. But that never worked. Chaos was all that you knew and you were fine with it.

That was until you met Nico and Will.

Since there was no cabin for you they just placed you in Hermes. But since the Hermes kids didn't like that a claimed kid was with them, plus you made lots of chaos that they didn't like. Chiron had placed you in Hades cabin. Nico was rarely there and it was away from everyone.

So you met Nico first. He knew what it was like to be an outcast. He talked to you and he didn't mind when you made chaos. He even helped you control it. Nico was kind and understanding. He was a nice person to talk to when you needed someone to listen for a bit.

Nico was fun to hang out with. You both were outcasts so you two got along well. You both scared the shit out of campers. Especially new campers that saw the two of you leaning or sitting by a tree in the shadows.

Then you met Will. Some people decided that it would be fun to hurt you. They would try a little harder to knock you down during sword practice. People would miss fire really close to you during target practice. So every once and a while you would show up at the infirmary with a new bruise or cut.

Will would be the one who would patch you up most of the time. He said that he heard about you from Nico because they were friends. That might have made you blush. So you and Will got to talking since Nico was friends with you both.

Will was really nice and he really cared about his friends. Will was like a ray of sunshine. He brightened up your day whenever you see him. Especially when you walk into of the infirmary. Since you were all friends you started to hang out with the both of them.

It was hard since Nico was rarely at Camp Half-Blood and Will always worked but you guys managed it. Some of your best memories were with the both of them. They were your best and only friends. You loved them more then anything.

Now you were going to lose them.

Tears started to fall out of your eyes and onto your lap. You tried to stop them but they were coming whether you liked it or not. You started to quietly sob and you brought your knees to your chest. You wrapped your arms around your legs and placed your head on top of them.

You cried onto your knees but you stopped when you heard a twig snap. You glanced down to see Nico and Will looking around. Why were they here? Were they looking for you? You stayed quiet. You didn't want them to find you. You weren't ready for them to break the news to you.

You weren't ready to lose the ones you loved.

Unfortunately that didn't last long because Nico looked up and saw you in the tree. You and Nico held eye contact until Nico grabbed Will's hand and pointed up at you. Will looked at Nico for a second before following Nico's finger up to you.

Nico and Will looked at you while you looked at them. The boys on the ground looked at each other. "Hey Y/n? Do you want to come down?" Will asked. Will was always better at calming your nerves. He knew what to say to calm you down. Nico tried but it never really worked.

But it was the thought that counted.

"N-no", you said with a wavering voice. You didn't want to talk but you knew you had too. "Okay. we'll wait", Will yelled up and you watched as Nico and Will walked over to the base of the tree and sat down. You could tell that they were talking to each other but you couldn't hear them.

You needed to talk to them. You needed to bite the bullet and get this over with. Though the thought of that made more tears slip out of your eyes. You wiped them away and started to make your way down the tree. It took a bit but before you knew it you were standing in front of Nico and Will.

Nico looked a little scared while Will still looked sad. You sat down criss cross in front of them and stared at them. None of you spoke. You were scared and something told you that they were too. "Do you know why we're here Y/n", Will asked.

You knew but you didn't want to say it so you nodded. "We're not mad Y/n", Nico said. It was the first time he had spoke and you could tell from his voice that Nico was scared. "In fact we wanted to tell you something", Will said.

This was it.

You were about to lose your friends. You got ready to run away after they said it. You placed your hands on the ground and closed your eyes. You couldn't look at them while they did this. You heard more whispering and heard moving. Then you felt something touch both of your cheeks.

It felt like a kiss.

You vaguely remember your father placing a kiss on your cheek before he left for work. You opened your eyes and looked at Nico and Will with a shocked expression. They were now sitting a foot in front of you. They both had a smile on their face. Will's was bigger Nico's was bigger but they both looked really happy.

"Wha-", you tried to ask what happened but Will and Nico both spoke, cutting you off. "We like you too". You were so happy and shocked, and still a little sad. This was so much that you started to cry again. You didn't know why but you did.

Nico and Wil got a little scared but you were quick to ease their worries. "No I'm fine I'm just", you didn't even know what to say. Will smiled again and pulled you and Nico into a hug. You and Nico were shocked but you both hugged back.

They liked you back. You were so happy. Will pulled away and looked at you, "we're sorry for making you feel like that". Will was referring to when you were scared and how you felt when you left them. "It's fine, as long as I get a kiss as an apology", you smiled at the both of them.

Will let out a little laugh but kissed you any way. You smiled, it was quick because you heard Nico's grumble. You pulled away and kissed Nico too. "Does this mean were dating?" You asked and Nico rolled his eyes. "yes Y/n, we are all boyfriends", you smiled again.

Nico and Will loved you, chaos and all.

[pawnshopbleus]

Red-eye

Pilot!Abby Anderson x Flight Attendant!Fem!Reader

Contains - light homophobia, some bad words, angst, hurt, comfort, threats, Abby being a good wife, not beta read

Summary - After a horrible encounter with a passenger, Abby helps you feel better.

Authors note - beware, this is my first time writing in months.

Being a flight attendant wasn’t a part of your original plan after college, but it provided you with a lot of amazing opportunities. You got to travel the world, meet new people, hear different languages, and experience rich cultures, and you got paid for it. Being a flight attendant is also how you met your wife of three years, Abby Anderson, who was currently navigating the aircraft. You loved your job, but sometimes passengers could be difficult.

Like the man that you were currently helping. First-class passengers tend to be rich and snobby assholes, but this man was on another level. After one too many complimentary glasses of red wine, he began inquiring about the wedding ring on your finger. Once you mentioned the fact that you had a wife he demanded to be served by a different flight attendant. You would have happily complied with his requests if it wasn’t for his homophobic rhetoric.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to stop,” you said. Your tone was affirmative, but a bit shaky. This wasn’t the first time someone had been openly homophobic towards you, but you always had Abby by your side. Now, she was in the cockpit doing her pilot duties so you had to deal with this on your own.

“I’m not listening to some…” You tried your hardest to drown out the sound of him calling you a slur, but your attempt failed.

There was a collective gasp from the people in first class. They had abandoned all hopes of sleep once the drunken man started his monologue. Even though there were passengers listening, no one dared to say anything.

With teary eyes, you left the scene, finding solace in the bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your makeup was ruined, your eyes were red from crying, and your cheeks were stained with tears. It took you a long time to come to terms with your sexuality. You were proud to be a lesbian, but people like that man made you regret ever coming out of the closet.

There was a knock at the bathroom door. “I’ll be out in a minute,” you sighed. You grabbed a tissue from the roll and dabbed it on your cheeks, trying your best to look as presentable as possible.

“Honey, it’s me.” It was Abby’s sweet voice on the other side of the door. Hearing her voice puts you at ease.

“Can I come in?” Abby asked.

You opened the door immediately. Nosy passengers watched the scene with confusion. The pilot of the plane going into the bathroom with a flight attendant was not something one saw every day, but you didn’t care. You closed the door behind Abby and sighed into her embrace.

The bathroom was small and compact, causing you to be pressed so close to Abby. She wrapped her arms around you and kissed your forehead. She began to pet your head as you began to break down in her embrace.

“I heard what happened,” Abby said without further need to elaborate. Of course, she knew already. Word travels fast in a metal tube in the sky. “Want me to punch him?”

You chuckle, “No, I wouldn’t want you to lose your job. We have a mortgage to pay.”

You can feel Abby’s wedding ring lightly scrape against your scalp, causing shivers to crawl down your spine.

“I wish I could defend myself, but I didn’t know what to say. He called me a-a,” you couldn’t even utter the wretched word that the man dared to call you.

Abby placed her index finger on your lips, shushing you. “It’s okay,” she said, “no one will ever call you that ever again. I’ll make sure of it.” You place your hand on Abby’s cheek and she jumps a little bit, her warm skin is not prepared for your cold hand. You look into her eyes and your heart tugs a little bit. You cannot believe that you were lucky enough to find the perfect woman. Abby was everything you looked for in a partner. She was kind, caring, and supportive. Not to mention she was the prettiest woman on earth.

Abby’s hands slide down to the place just above your ass. “Are you going to keep staring into my eyes or are you going to kiss me?” she huffs.

You smirk and give the woman what she wants. Your lips come in contact with hers, kissing her with fervor. Your lips move in rhythm with hers. Your hands that were once on Abby’s cheeks found themselves on her strong biceps. Abby’s hands began to slide down lower when there was a knock at the door. Abby squeezed your hips and let out a sigh of frustration.

“Seat one b has requested a Pinot Noir and you’re the only one who can reach the bottle,” Dina, a fellow flight attendant said from the other side of the door.

You hide your face in Abby’s chest and say, “I’ll be out in a minute.” Both you and Abby check yourselves in the mirror, making sure that the two of you look presentable.

“Feeling better?” Abby inquired, placing a hand on your shoulder and looking into your eyes.

You nod your head and let out a breath, preparing yourself to go back out. You open the door and you're met with a handful of eyes staring at you as you and Abby exit the bathroom. You smile at the curious people and continue your flight attendant duties.

Abby, on the other hand, walks all the way to first class, finds the man who was tormenting you and whispers into his ear. “If I hear you say another fucking thing about my wife I’ll cut your dick off and make you eat it.” She then pats him on the back and returns to the cockpit, leaving the homophobic man speechless.

[enfinizatics]

okay i’ve got to vent about the nicki minaj situation bc yeah. i used to be a hardcore barb for almost 10 years (2010-2019). and when i say a HARDCORE stan i truly mean it, i had a twitter account dedicated to nicki, she was even following me and often interacted with my tweets when she was online. i was absolutely in love with her and her work. i met my best friend, who’s like family to me, because of her. the pinkprint helped me survive middle school bullying. i followed her through europe when she went on tours. i supported every project, stayed chronically online for her and engaged in petty arguments with people on stan twitter to defend her. i fell out around late 2019 because i felt like most of her lyrics had sounded the same for a while but mostly because she started seeing her current husband, a confirmed rapist. seeing nicki pick up a beef after beef with every young female rapper gives me a huge ick and internalized misogyny vibes. but the beef with megan? it’s been years since i last followed news on nicki, but now i find myself losing my mind every time i see something on here or tiktok. not to mention her twitter omg. it truly feels like i’m witnessing her downfall caused by no one but nicki herself. she’s literally destroying her legacy, a legacy tied to so many memories i made during those 10 years while being her fan, and it just sucksssss. it feels like she no longer has a pr team capable of damage control or persuading her to take a break from social media. she seems to be spiraling with everything she posts. not to mention that ben shapiro tweet, congratulating a white, homophobic supremacist. and the barbz who let her remain in her perfect little bubble, shielding her from any criticism, constructive or otherwise (perhaps out of intimidation – i know, i've been there) and doxing people in the name of what? a millionaire to whom you’re a literal stranger?

[cheshirebitch]

Here me outtttttttt, Alastor or Lucifer (your choice) with a reader who has dabi’s power from MHA🫢

This actually sounded so good that I HAD to immediately put this power with Lucifer. I love that depressed duck man. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

𝔹𝕦𝕣𝕟 𝕄𝕖 𝔹𝕒𝕓𝕪

Lucifer x Reader (with Dabi’s powers)

As an overlord, you become used to people offering to team up with you, threats and attacks, and finding people to make contracts with. I normally was categorized as one of the “better” ones to have your soul sold to, unlike the Vee’s. Alastor was the one below me, but still wasn’t the best with how he treated his poor souls under his contract. What really scared people was when they heard why I was in hell instead of heaven with how I treated other souls here.

I died in an ironic way, burning from my own arson. My abuser was caught with another victim, but didn’t face any consequences for his actions. Therefore, I made sure he did by burning his home down while he was sleeping in it. I knew I would face murder charges and never see the sun again, so I burned inside with him, holding the door shut to the bedroom after nailing his windows shut. Due to my arson crime, I was sent to hell with the “gift” of blue flame. It looked beautiful but burned anyone who came too close. I was currently in a meeting with the overlords, playing with my blue flames on my fingers when Valentino came up to me, Lucifer watching from behind.

“So, how much did you say for Angel Dust’s soul?” His shit eating grin sparkling with the golden tooth. A polite smile twitched before I calmly responded.

”I would like to simply have his contract under myself instead of you with a buy-out price of the soul of Velvette’s.” I smiled with lidded eyes watching his cocky attitude melt away. All he knew was that I was interested in buying Angel Dust’s soul from him, never knew with what.

“Velvette didn’t sell her soul?” He sounded unsure as he glanced over my shoulder to Vox and Velvette waiting by the door to leave.

”You really think she had those powers when she came down here a couple years ago? You really are foolish.” I went to turn around, making Valentino panic. He gripped my arm, burning his hand instantly with my blue flame. My eyes were glowing an electric blue as the blue flames replaced my hair, flickering in the air. Valentino pulled back, holding his hand and looking in fear. He immediately fixed his tone, switching to an angry one.

“You bitch!” I was quickly losing my temper with how he was acting. If I slipped up and let my anger take over, I was doomed to explode blue flames everywhere. Lucifer was watching still from behind Valentino, ready to step in if I looked any more agitated than I already was.

“Do we have a deal or not, Valentino?” I stressed with my eyes and hair a flaming blue, the King of Hell already cutting off his current conversation. Valentino looked like he was actually considering taking my offer but was still angry with my skin burning him.

“Fine, I will release Angel Dust under you if you release Velvette to me.” My hand stuck out quickly in front of him and I made sure to burn his hand again, scarring one of his fingers as a reminder of this deal. Permanently burned into his memory that I was not a friend but an enemy that will always have the upper hand. Lucifer was by my side watching Valentino shake his hand violently in pain, hissing out curses. Vox and Velvette also joined, Vox aggressively inspecting his hand.

“What did you do?” Velvette started accusing me, pointing a finger in my face.

“We traded you.” I spoke simply as Lucifer caught up on what was going on.

I met Lucifer two weeks ago, outside of the professional setting, when Charlie and Vaggie asked for my help on something. They were referred to me by Alastor and Rosie, saying I was the only one with the power to get Angel Dust out of his abusive contract with the Vee’s. Lucifer had the power too, but it would cause an uprising. Of course I agreed for many reasons. But, it also got me involved in her hotel idea. I didn’t mind at all since it got me to become closer to Lucifer, even though we only met outside of meetings a couple times now.

“Who did you trade Val?” Vox grabbed his shoulders, getting in his face while his voice distorted with his anger. Lucifer glanced at me, silently approving of the accomplishment for his daughter.

“Listen, what’s done is done. You can’t undo it and it was his choice. If you have a problem, handle it outside of here.” He ushered the rest of the overlords out of the meeting room, shutting the door with both of us still inside. I took a couple deep breaths knowing I needed to calm down before I blew a fuse, literally.

”Did you get it?” Lucifer turned around, taking long strides to close the distance between us. He was smiling excitedly, enough that I felt like his eyes were stars. My laugh slipped out before I look at him, feeling comfortable.

”Did you doubt me? Of course I have his contract now. It cost me one of my upper hands over the Vee’s but anything is worth it for your daughter and her dream.” I smiled at Lucifer, holding my palm out to show a miniature Angel Dust in my blue flames form. I closed my palm when he leaned in a little too close for my comfort. I didn’t want to burn him.

”I still can’t believe you even had that girl’s soul!” I watched him take off his white hat, placing it calmly onto the table where we all gathered just a few minutes ago. My fingertips glided over the glass top, melting the glass slightly. The feeling of it melting and the smell of char forced my reflexes to kick in, pulling my hand away before I damaged it more. Lucifer, of course, noticed how it was molted now.

“Do you always get hot when you’re mad?” He spoke casually before turning as red as the apple on his hat. Immediately stuttering and waving his hands dismissively, realizing how it sounded. I watched him stutter through an explanation of what he meant with an upside down smile.

”I- uh- I- I didn’t- ha ha- I meant temperature. Anger causes high temperatures.” I laughed, deciding to put him out of his embarrassing misery.

“Thank you and yes.” I flicked my fingers to show the tips of them lit with the blue flame. Lucifer looked enchanted by the flames and before I could stop him, he reached out and touched them with his bare hands. I tried putting my flames out but what I noticed stopped me dead in my tracks.

”Why aren’t you being burnt horrifically?” I watched as my flames licked his skin, not burning it to a crisp. Lucifer watched as his hand held my flame instead. Truly, it astounded me considering no one could handle my flames, absolutely nothing could. What made it worse was trying to keep myself under control as I felt Lucifer’s hands softly graze my own. I didn’t know if it was just the fact that no one else has been able to even touch me without being burned by the heat of my body, the way the flame reflected in his golden and crimson eyes, or maybe it was the way I couldn’t ever keep my eyes off of him in the first place. Especially working with him outside of professional work, I have been able to look at him as more than just someone higher than me.

“It really is a beautiful flame.” His eyes were so enamored by it, he didn’t even get embarrassed or nervous. It was like we both were lost in something truly breathtaking, him with my unique flame and myself with how he looked illuminated by it. Lucifer glanced at me twice before he completely looked away from the blue flame on each of my fingertips. Gentle pale fingers pushed a hair out of my face, blue flames that were pieces of my hair. My hair and eyes were fully enflamed. I was increasing in temperature, which was dangerous considering the last man I thought I could attempt something with, was burned alive after our first kiss.

”You really are something, (Y/n).” He knew the right words to say to win my heart, but the wrong one to not make me burst into complete flames. What surprised me was how he still was able to hold his hand to my cheek.

“Seriously, how are you doing that?” I nervously laughed, awaiting for me to set the King of Hell ablaze.

“What do you mean?” He furrowed his brows, absentmindedly still holding my cheek. I could feel myself burn hotter from it.

”Everyone else who has even stood too close to me when I was like this, were burned to a crisp.” Maybe that was too blunt. Did I just scare him away?

”Wow! Really? That’s actually really interesting. Can you burn hotter?” His eyes were full of curiosity like a child. This man was really crazy if he expected me to try and kill him. I closed my eyes and took a couple deep breaths to extinguish myself.

“Too far?” He laughed nervously, pulling his hand away from me.

“I don’t feel like trying to kill the King of Hell today, I’m sure Alastor would love to do that though.” I teased, attempting to distract the poor thing from being too self conscious. I must’ve hit a nerve though, triggering a rant instead.

”Don’t get me started on that wannabe!” He rolled his eyes and took a couple steps, gaining me the moment and space to clear my thoughts better. Deep breaths, I need to take deep breaths and stop letting a man who probably doesn’t feel the same fluster me like that. I stood up and fixed mty outfit, smoothing my appearance out. By the time Lucifer turned back around, I had myself looking sharp and proper.

“He has been provoking me on purpose! You saw how he acts with Char Char! It’s like he only wants to act like her father figure just to get under my skin.” He ran his hands down his face. Metal glistened in the light, catching my eyes rather efficiently.

Oh. That’s right.

”Speaking of Charlie, I should probably head over to the hotel to pass along the news that I was successful in her request.” Averting my eyes from the man in front of me, I felt the choking reality that he was probably still in love with his extremely long term marriage partner and mother to his only child. I sucked a deep breath in before flashing a small polite smile.

”Oh, yeah. I’m sure she will be excited to hear the news.” I felt the room turn into an uncomfortable atmosphere. I looked at him in pity before sighing and sitting back down.

”Can I ask you a personal question?” I crossed one leg over the other, motioning for him to take a seat.

“uh- sure…?” He sat down, crossing his legs and leaning back fully in the chair. He was rolling up his sleeves then he ran his hands down the arms of the chair before gripping the ends in his hands nervously.

”Why do you still wear the ring? I think we both know she isn’t coming back, sweetheart.” Maybe that was also too blunt but I think he might need a shove into reality. He has been kind of in limbo for seven years. Last I checked, even Charlie had come to terms that her mom wasn’t coming back, at least not any time soon. I have had extensive conversations about it with her, even helping her realize her feelings of abandonment were valid.

“I don’t know.” He looked lost and his fingers traced over the metal, sliding it off. I stuck my hand out and stared at him, not once looking at the metal itself. He held it tighter in his hand before seeming to realize something internally.

”Lucifer, you need to let go at least enough to take care of yourself. It really isn’t healthy to hold on to something that is only causing pain and misery, now is it?” He looked defensive at first before blinking it away, replacing it with defeat and placing the ring in my hand. It instantly melted to liquid before I delicately morphed it into an “L” pendant with a thin chain. I may have helped him make the first step, but I wasn’t about to get rid of something so familiar to him. He would have to make that decision himself one day, I just nudged him in the right direction. Especially if he is still in deep love with her.

”I can give it to Charlie, see what she thinks the ‘L’ stands for. If she chooses me, that’s great, but if she chooses her mother, that’s also great that she can find it in herself to forgive her.” He hesitated, holding the chain.

”I don’t think I can ever forgive her for it, nor want to.” His eyes looked back up to mine, holding the gaze as he whispers, “I’m actually okay with her being gone now.” My brows furrowed as I waited for him to elaborate.

”I would’ve never had the chance to notice a beautifully complicated woman.” I felt my face burn, along with my whole body. I couldn’t control the high temperature and involuntarily burnt the chair completely before I was able to put myself out.

“I’m sorry, I can get a new chair!”

(As always, characters belong to their owner and the story belongs to me. If you have any requests or ideas, send them over :)! I will gladly try to write things for my supporters! Thank you for the love and have a great day <3!)

[xkaidaxxxx]

Zuko x Reader

Mentions: Betrayal, Angst, Arguing, suicidal thoughts, Happy ending.

sorry for errors. 1am story.

reposts are appreciated.

“Zuko, she’s a traitor. She didn’t take our side.”, Azula said to her “darling” brother. She’s always manipulating and gaslighting him. “No, I’m not. Zuko, please. We were doing so well and living a good life us and your uncle. Please.” You said crying. Your heart was aching, hoping he wouldn’t believe Azula’s horrible lies and follow her path in life. You have loved  Zuko more than anything, since your childhood. “She went against us, and so did our uncle. I bet she’s even lying about being in love with you.” Azula said while rubbing his back. You knew all Zuko ever wanted was approval from his family to get his honor back. In proving he’s worthy of his family name. “ Zuko I am in love with you! Don’t listen to her.” You pleaded. You were practically on your knees at this point. “Azula is correct...I’m in love with you that’s what’s wrong…you betrayed us. You went against us and the fire nation.” Zuko said and then looked away. Your heart broke into a million pieces. You felt like time stopped. Tears ran down your cheeks. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, you felt pressure on your chest. “ You’re doing what’s right brother,” Azula reassured him and it brought you back to your senses. “You bitch! You’re lying to him! You don’t care about him! You’re using him! You’ve been hurting him since we were all children. Even now!” You yelled standing up,  suddenly feeling a burning sensation on your arm and neck. Azula burned you. Zuko wanted to run over to you, but Azula stopped him.

Once everyone was at the Fire Nation you and Iroh were locked up in separate gender prisons. Your wounds were treated there. There wasn’t a day you didn’t cry. All you want is to live happily with Zuko. Marry him and have kids, but you were currently in what probably felt like hell. You were devastated, disappointed, angry, heartbroken, betrayed,  yet you still love him. 

A month or so passed. You heard a guard walk in, “ You have a visitor.” he said to you. “Leave us alone,” Zuko ordered and the guard obeyed the Fire Nation’s prince. “I’m here. I’ve been thinking about you..us. I love you y/n.” he said with tears forming. “You don’t love me enough. If you did…I wouldn’t be here…alone..cold…treated horribly, wanting to die. I want to kill myself. I can't take it anymore. This prison is torture. You know what’s funny, is that you betrayed me and I’m still in love with you. I still want a bright future with you. I’m so stupid to even need or want that while I’m locked up.” You cried feeling like you were slowly losing yourself. You faced away from him. “I don’t want you here. I’ll speak to Azula…I promise I’ll get you out of here. I love you so much…hold on a bit longer.” he said wanting to hold you in his arms but those stupid bars were in the way. He left. Time passed since the first visit. Weeks maybe months, you couldn’t tell. Many thoughts ran through your mind. 

Did he move on? 

Is he dating Mai?

He left and didn’t take me with him?

Does he think I’m a waste of time?

He’s dead?

The truth was he was caught visiting you. He was being watched since then. He was finding a way to leave with you and Iroh. Somehow every time he’d come up with a plan there was always a dead end, however, he’s not giving up. 

He pulled out a scroll that had you drawn on it. He got ready to sleep opened the scroll and spoke. “ My love, Y/n whenever I close my eyes I always picture you there. Throughout my days I see you in people's faces. It’s driving me crazy but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I swear I’ll be coming back for you. I love you y/n, more than anything. Don’t worry…hold on longer please.” he closed his eyes crying himself to sleep. 

Suddenly a week later team Avatar showed up and caused a huge scene, while Azula and the Fire Nation’s soldiers were after them Zuko took it as an opportunity. He let you and Iroh free and an hour later team Avatar took pity on you. Next thing you know, you all were on Appa, flying away. “ Thank you. We appreciate it very much.” Zuko said pulling you close to him. They were shocked by Zuko. A. Zuko is in love. B. Being kind. C. Thankful. 

“No problem,” Aang said with a smile. Everyone else nodded. “ I love you. I’m sorry,” he spoke looking down at you. You nodded forgiving him, cuddling up to him. 

As nightfall came Appa landed. The camp was set. You went down by the lake to wash up. Zuko followed you. “ I’ll keep watch just in case.” you rolled your eyes. You undressed carefully walking into the lake. The water was cold but soothing. You made sure you were completely clean. Head to toe. Zuko turned to watch you for some reason you didn’t mind. “Hey may I join you?” he asks with a blush on his cheeks. You decided it was time to get intimate physically with him. “Y-Yes. I’d like that,” you replied nervously. A few minutes you found out you had nothing to be nervous about. He washed up as well. “I’m glad we’re together once again. This time I know it’s forever even though the war is still going on,” he spoke moving closer towards you. You felt his hand on your waist. “I’m in love with you y/n.” you smiled and hugged him tightly, “I know, I’m in love with you too Zuko.” Suddenly your lips touched his. Your tongues roamed each other's mouths until you guys had to catch your breaths. He placed pecks on your neck and also left hickeys behind. You moaned in the process. Once you guys finished you got back into your clothes. You guys walked into the cave you were all resting in, Zuko grabbed the blanket he had brought along, and spread it on the ground. “Is..Zuko..can we sleep together?” you asked. You only dared to ask him because you got privacy from the others. “Yes. I’d like that,” he replied. You held onto reach other warming up. After a while, his hands began to roam your body. You didn’t mind it at all. If anything it made you feel closer to him. You snuggled closer. “ I’m never letting go of you my love,” he whispered. Your hearts burned with so much love.

Please like, comment and reblog.

Hope you liked the story. I will be posting more.

much love, Kaida

[crissiebaby]

A Steady Stream

“Hey guys! It’s SleepyLunaHypno, back again with another Lil’ Luna stream!” said hypnosis streamer, Luna Hideri, kneeling on the floor and waving to the eyeball-shaped camera perched on the edge of their computer desk. Their heart raced as their heels sank into their padded rear, never letting them forget the fact they were currently double-diapered; a necessity considering what they were planning. “So, for tonight’s stream, we’re going to do something a little different.”

Sitting before a pair of earmuff headphones, Luna became flushed with arousal as they lifted them up and presented them for their viewers to gawk at; the spiral-painted sides filling their hypno-loving brain with horny thoughts. “Those who’ve been keeping up with me on Xwitter know I’ve been hard at work on a special secret project,” they said, increasing anticipation and viewership simultaneously. In real life, they were a shy fox who actively avoided others. But here, in the safety of their room with thousands of horny people watching their every move, they felt like a Goddess. Slipping the headphones over their ears, a lustful smirk curled across the kitsune’s face as they continued their opening monologue. “For the past two months, I’ve been hypnotizing myself Pavlov-style by listening to a pinging noise whenever I wet my diaper. And tonight, you’re going to help me test my progress.”

Unsurprisingly, the chat for Luna’s stream instantly blew up over the lascivious news, causing their watcher numbers to excel past their previous highs well before the fun had even started. This was definitely going to be their best stream yet. “Hehe! Happy to see everyone is as excited as I am!” they said, their tail wagging eagerly at the camera. “Each dollar given to my steam equals one ping in my headphones. I wonder how long it’ll take before I’m leaki–”

PING!

“W-Woah!” stuttered Luna, already receiving their first donation before they could finish their introduction. After weeks of dedicating themself through Pavlovian conditioning, part of them found it hard to believe a simple sound could cause them to lose all control. However, Mr. Ivan Pavlov’s classical hypothesis turned out to be resoundingly correct as urine gushed into the base of their inner diaper. “Holy crap! I-I actually did it! I’m really wetting myself!” Their libido was sent spiraling out of control as they fruitlessly rebelled against their body’s natural impulses.

PING! PING! PING! PING! PING!

Without warning, a large influx of monotonous dings impacted Luna’s eardrums, resulting in the grasp on their potty training further slipping away. “Oooh!” they moaned as they continued to piss themself silly with a seemingly endless amount of fluid. Stretching their neck upward to see their monitor, their eyes went wide with fear and fervor over the three-digit total they’d already amassed. Perhaps charging more than $1 per ping would’ve been wise. “I d-don’t think two diapers is gonna be enough…”

💜 Artwork By CodiBaby 💜 💕 Story By CrissieBaby 💕 💛 Commissioned By SleepyLunaHypno 💛

SubscribeStar: subscribestar.adult/crissiebaby pixivFANBOX: crissiebaby.fanbox.cc All CB Links: linktr.ee/crissiebaby

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Special Thanks to Our CrissBaby Diaper Company Investors: BlushyBen DD JFN Nike Pansy Jason Sissikins PrincessKittenLizzi Rosie Princess SissyDina Strawberry Sweetsamantharebecca Tony & Two Anonymous Investors

[callsign-dexter]

From Fear to Forever

Request: Ok sweetheart 😘 what would you think of a Rooster imagine where you cover up to fly with Bob instead of Natasha that day the plane crashes and Rooster sits on the radio, being on the edge as he doesn't know if you're okay or not and he fears he'll lose you just like his dad. As soon as Mav tells him that you're mostly okay and staying at the hospital, he's crying with relief and hugs Mav and he forgives him as he realizes he doesn't want to lose more people. Then you both come to the hospital and Rooster is all spoiling you and making sure you're okay and as he thinks you're asleep, he tells how that he loves you, but you can hear him, so you both finally confess your feelings and the rest of the team watches as smiles from outside 🤭

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x Seresin!Twin Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, cussing, inaccurate medical talk, inaccurate Navy talk

Masterlist

A/N: thank you @imagine-all-the-fandoms for requesting this and I'm so so sorry it took forever. I just needed a break to collect myself and convince myself that I shouldn't just give up and delete this account.

You, Y/N ‘Storm’ Seresin, never thought you would be back here. Where you may ask? Well, none other than Top Gun. Your home away from home. You first went through it with your twin brother Jake Seresin, yes that is your brother, and your backseater Mark ‘Shadow’ Newman. He was your best friend, literally you both went through the academy together and pilot school, where you met Bradley Bradshaw and fell in love but he would never love you or so you thought, then Top Gun. Mark was also married to a beautiful wife, who is your friend, and they have 2 adorable boys together that look just like their father. 

Currently the both of you were hanging out at The Hard Deck with your brother and Javy waiting for the others. “So, Storm, how is it to be siblings with Hangman?” Javy asked, sliding up to you. 

“Not as bad as you think. He has his moments but he can be a Golden Retriever.” You said smirking as Jake shot you a look.

“Hey don't be going around telling all my secrets. I have a reputation to uphold.” He said and laughed.

“You sure do ‘Mister I Have a Different Girl Every Night’.” You said and smirked but then eyes widening when you saw him coming over to you. You were quick to dive behind Mark.

“Oh, you're so getting it, Sis. Just you wait. You may be safe now but you better watch it.” He said and you knew it was a wholehearted threat and it made you burst out laughing which caused them to do so too. 

“And that there is sibling love.” Mark said, chuckling and taking a drink of his drink while you stepped out from behind him. Jake chuckled and brought you into his arms and hugged you and you hugged back. 

“Such a good little sister.” He said and you smacked him and pushed out of his arms.

“Hey we are twins, same age dumbass.” You pointed out he only did it because he knew it got on your nerves. The banter went on for another few minutes until Javy had pulled Jake over to play darts and you went with Mark to sit and watch. “When are the others getting here?” You asked.

“Should be any minute now.” Mark said “Why are you hoping to see Rooster?” He smirked and nudged you and you pushed him but it didn't budge him. 

“No…” You said and he looked at you and you rolled your eyes “Fine yes.” You said.

“I don't see why you don't just admit your feelings for him.” Mark said casually while taking a drink of his beer. 

“He doesn't see me like that.” You said trying not to sound heartbroken.

“How would you know if you don't tell?” He asked and you shook your head.

“I don't want to deal with the heartbreak.” You said and he nodded.

“I get it, I do.” He said and he truly did get it. It took him almost a year to ask Melissa, his now wife, to go on a date with him and then confess his feelings. Melissa had been your friend since high school and she just happened to be going to a college near the Naval Academy and the two of you reconnected. 

“Storm!” A familiar voice called out and you turned towards the direction and saw none other than Natasha 'Phoenix’ Trace. 

“Phoenix!” You shouted back and went to her and hugged her tightly and she did the same. 

“Finally, another female.” She said and you laughed as Callie ‘Halo’ Bassett came up as well. 

“We thought we would have to go through this with all of the testosterone alone.” Callie said 

“Even if I wasn't here, you two would have each other.” You said and they shook their heads.

“Wouldn't be the same.” Natasha said and you chuckled. 

“I’m going to the bathroom. I'll be right back.” You told her and she nodded and you disappeared into the bathroom missing the little back and forth between your brother and Natasha. You hadn't seen Bradley yet and that upset you slightly. After pilot school you both stayed in contact with one another. “Stop getting your hopes up. He may not be coming.” You said to yourself as you looked in the mirror washing your hands after using the bathroom. You sighed and walked towards the door and out of it and stopped in your tracks as you saw a Hawaiian shirt walk through the front door there, he was Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw. You hear Natasha call out to him and watch him walk over to the pool table and watch how she whacked him in the stomach. He grunted and patted her on the arm. You watched as he bickered with your brother. You watched the interaction they had with Bob Floyd, another friend of yours plus you and Mark were stationed with him. You don't know how long you were staring until Mark saw you and frowned and he walked over to you.

“You alright?” He asked and you quickly glanced at him and back to Bradley as he walked over to the jukebox.

“Yea I think so.” You said 

“Are you sure?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yea I'm good.” You said as the music stopped playing and he sat down on the piano.

“Go talk to him.” He said and you looked at him and he nodded his head. You sighed and started to walk over there just as the familiar tune started. Just as you reached him a tag chaser popped up beside him and started to be all lovey dovey to him and that made tears pop into your eyes and you didn't know why it wasn't like you were with him. What hurt the worst was he smiled up at her. You abandoned your mission and walked out. Jake was quick to notice and grabbed his beer and followed you out. You missed how Bradley looked at you longingly and with a twinge of sadness in his eye. You walked out and down the steps heading to your car, you couldn't be here. 

“Y/N.” Jake said your brother's voice rang out. You ignored him. “Lt. Y/N Seresin.” He said in a more authoritative tone using your rank because he knew you would stop and you did.

“Nice one.” You said as you turned to him “What do you want?” you asked voice laced with emotion.

“Are you ok?” He asked and you looked at him and shook your head. 

“No.” You said and he sighed and brought you into a brotherly hug and you let tears fall.

“He's an idiot, you know that.” He said and you knew who he was referring to.

“I'm stupid to ever let those feelings come up.” You whispered

“No, you're not, Sis. It's normal. Ok?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yea, ok. I think I'm just going to go home.” You said 

“Are you sure?” He asked and you nodded.

“I want to get a good night's sleep before tomorrow.” You said and the both of you knew that was a lie, you were going to go home shower and cry your eyes out. Jake has been there way too many times comforting you. 

“I'll check in on you later. Ok?” He asked and you nodded.

“Ok. I love you.” You said into his chest.

“I love you too, Sis. Text me when you're home. I'll take care of your tab.” He said 

“Thank you.” You said as you pulled away and tears ran down your face and he was quick to wipe them away with his thumbs as he held your head in his hands. Beer bottle sitting on what happened to be his truck's tailgate. 

“That's what brothers are for. Now no more crying.” He said and you cracked a smile and he kissed your forehead. “Get home safely.” He said as he pulled away and you nodded. You got into your Jeep right beside his truck and he watched you back up. You waved at him and he waved back. You pulled out and as you were out of sight, he went back inside just in time for him to help throw someone out, who just happened to be their instructor, and then Bradley started to sing and play. Jake sat back and watched while drinking his beer. After the song was over Bradley plugged the jukebox in. As the music began to play, he walked over to Jake.

“Where's Y/N? I saw her walk out. She seemed upset.” Bradley asked and frowned.

“She has gone home. She was upset.” Jake said and Bradley frowned.

“Why? Everything ok?” He asked

“Maybe you should ask her tomorrow.” Jake said “A little advice. Nobody messes with my sister and gets away with it.” He added and walked off leaving Bradley confused.

“Bradley, where did you run off to?” A young blonde headed girl that was all over him. The one he tried to let down easily. 

“That's none of your business.” He said “It would be best if you left.” He added and she made a face.

“Fine.” She said and turned around and stomped off. Bradley sighed he really wished you were here but it looked like he fucked it up once again. He couldn't wait for this night to end.

When you finally made home and parked and let the tears fall. Why were you like this? It's not like the two of you were dating. You sighed and got out making sure you locked the door after you shut it. You walked into your rented house and unlocked the door and walked in while turning on the lights and making sure to lock the door. You got your phone out and pulled up Jake's number.

I'm home. 

Jakester- Good. Glad you're safe. Want me to come over later?

No, I'm good thanks though. 

Jakester- Rooster asked about you.

He did?

Jakester- Yup I told him to fuck off.

Jake.

Jakester- Just kidding, told him you went home. I wanted to tell him to fuck off though.

Love you. Thanks for looking out for me.

Jakester- Anytime. Love you too. 

You didn't text him back after that because you didn't want to clog up the night, not that he would've minded. He would do anything for you with just one phone call or text. The rest of the night was spent pitying yourself and getting ready for tomorrow. Your roommate, who just happened to be Bob, walked in maybe an hour after you. You turned to look at him. “Are you ok?” He asked and you shrugged.

“Is it stupid of me to get caught up on someone that probably doesn't even like me back?” You asked as he moved to sit down on the couch and you cuddled into him. 

“No.” He shook his head “It's not. Maybe he does like you back. Ever think of that?” He asked.

“Yea right. He just sees me like one of the guys.” You said 

“Oh, Stormy. If you only saw the way he looked when you took off and when Jake talked to him about you.” He said using a nickname only certain people were allowed to use.

“I just want to get to sleep and get tonight behind me.” You said and he nodded as you got up and he helped you some.

“Get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be tough.” He said and you nodded.

“Goodnight Bob.” You said and he smiled.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He said and then you disappeared and got ready for bed. Once ready you slipped under the covers and fell right to sleep. 

The next morning you were up bright and early ready for the day and ready to face Bradley. You were just getting your coffee when Bob walked in. “Hey I'm gonna head in early.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“I won't be too far behind you.” He said and you nodded and then you were grabbing your keys and heading out the door. When you got to your Jeep you sighed as you got in and sat there for a second.

“Let's get this over with.” You said as you turned the ignition and headed towards base. Once you got to base you parked beside your brother's truck and turned the Jeep off and got out. As you were getting out a familiar blue Bronco was pulling up and parking beside you. It parked and the owner got out. “Bradley.” You said and he smiled and turned towards you.

“Y/N.” He said “I missed seeing you at The Hard Deck. I was hoping I would.” He said and you hummed.

“I'm sure you missed me. It looked like you had nice company.” You said as the two of you began walking. 

“I didn’t go home with her.” He said

“I find that hard to believe.” You said as you walked towards where the class would be held. 

“Why don’t you believe me?” He asked

“Maybe because I find it hard to trust you after you ghosted me.” You said finally stopping and looking at him and his face was unreadable and you scuffed and walked to the front where your brother sat.

“Everything ok?” He asked

“Perfect.” You said and sat down and waited for class to start. When your instructor, Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell, was introduced and you looked back and saw your brother’s face you knew something happened. “What did you do?” You whispered angrily.

“I’ll tell you later.” He whispered and you glared at him but turned around and class began. Each pilot went up and showed what they got. It was time for your and Mark’s turn going up with Jake. 

“Everything is looking good.” Mark said without you even asking him as you flew next to Jake.

“So, Jakester,” You began and he rolled his eyes annoyed at the nickname but he only let you use it. “What the hell did you do?” You asked.

“I threw him out of The Hard Deck.” He said

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re an idiot.” You said

“I didn’t know he would be our instructor.” He defended

“Shadow, did you know about this?” You asked

“No, I left before anything drastic took place.” He said 

“Enough chit chat guys, fight is on.” Maverick said out of nowhere.

“Here we go.” You said

“We got this.” Mark said

“Do you see him anywhere?” Jake asked 

“Negative.” You said

“I got him on the radar.” Mark said and then he was zooming past you guys “And there he goes.” He added. 

“Alright let's go.” You said “Hangman, break right. I'll break left.” You said

“You got it, Storm.” Jake said and you both did as you said and that got a reaction out of Maverick.

“Interesting tactic. How are you going to cover each other?” He asked as he was getting tone behind Jake and he was doing well shaking him off.

“You know what brothers and sisters do for each other?” You asked Maverick.

“What would that be, Storm?” He asked and Mark smirked. 

“Look after each other.” You said and suddenly you were behind him getting tone.

“Gottcha ya.” Jake and you said at the same time.

“Damn that was a good one. You two work well together.” He said and you smirked “Head back to ground.” He said and you both did and when you landed Jake was already there waiting for you. 

“Good job, Sis. That move never fails.” Jake said as your canopy opened.

“You got that right. Nobody can beat the power of siblings.” Mark said and you smirked.

“Damn right.” You said and the three of you did post-checks and headed inside of the building. Everyone was excited that you actually took Maverick out and you smiled and chuckled. Your eyes looked around the room and found Bradley’s. He was staring at you and you decided that you needed to talk to him. You looked at Mark and he nodded and you went.

“Good job.” He said 

“Thank you.” You said

“I’ve never seen Hangman actually not leave someone.” He said

“Well, siblings have to stick together.” You said 

“Hey, look I’m sorry for ghosting you. I truly didn’t take that girl home, I sent her away after talking to your brother. I-” He started but you cut him off before he could say anything else.

“I believe you.” You said 

“You do?” He asked and you nodded.

“I do.” You said and then his name was being called along with someone else’s and he hurried off not wanting to get into trouble and you understood. You were left standing there until Bob came over.

“Everything ok?” He asked and you looked up at him.

“Yeah, I think so.” You said and he smiled.

“Good job by the way.” He said

“Thank you.” You replied 

“I’m gonna go and listen, you coming?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No, I need a minute alone.” You said and he nodded and left with a pat on your shoulder. Bradley apologized for ghosting you but it wasn’t enough you needed an explanation. You hoped you got one but for now you needed to focus on this mission.

You had been so focused on the mission that you didn't really speak to Bradley and each time you tried or he tried you or he were being called away. It seemed like you never were going to get a chance until one morning you got to base extra early and decided to hang around and go over some maneuvers. You were so into thought you didn't hear another person come in. “Think too hard and your head might explode.” The voice said and it made you jump. You turned to see who it was and it was Bradley.

“Shit, you fucking scared me.” You said putting a hand over your heart to try and settle it.

“Sorry.” He said and you waved him off. 

“What are you doing here so early?” You asked 

“Well, I know you like to get up early and go over everything you learned. So, I took a chance to come here to find you.” He said and you nodded. “I also couldn't sleep.” He said.

“There is the real reason.” You said and he shook his head.

“No, they're both the reason.” He said and then it went into silence. 

“I'm sorry.” You both started.

“You go first.” You said 

“I'm sorry for everything I put you through. All the stress, the ghosting, the making you think that I was with someone else, and everything in general. It was not my intent to do that to you and my dad and mom would kill me if they knew I hurt such a beautiful girl.” He said and you blushed and looked down. 

“You think I'm beautiful? I wear what everyone else wears and my hair is always up.” You said 

“Yea you're beautiful I would even say gorgeous. Yes, you wear what everyone else does and have your hair up but I've also seen you out of uniform and hair down. Remember?” He asked and you nodded.

“I do.” You said recalling the many nights that you and he had late night study sessions for pilot school. “My turn if you're done.” You said and he nodded as he sat down beside you and you turned to him. “I'm sorry for being so short and mad at you earlier. I just got jealous seeing you with someone and I know I shouldn't we're not together and will probably never be together, you'll only see me as a sister. I'm rambling. Anyways I'm sorry for everything too.” You said.

“It's-” He started but got cut off by people walking in and the both of you stood up. Bob came over with Maverick.

“Good you're here.” Maverick began “Phoenix is out sick and Shadow had a family emergency.” He said and your eyes widened “So I'm pairing you and Bob up for this run through.” He said “I hope that is ok.” He added and you both nodded.

“That's absolutely fine, Sir.” You and Bob said at the same time. 

“Good. We'll start here in a few minutes.” He said and then walked off and you immediately pulled out your phone.

Mav told me you had a family emergency. Everyone ok?

Mark: Grayson got really sick with throwing up and a really high fever in the middle of the night and we had to bring him to the hospital. They have him on fluids and some Tylenol IV. He's sleeping right now.

Poor guy. Let me know if you all need anything, please. I hate that he's not feeling good. How's Max taking it?

Mark: I promise I will but you need to focus on the mission. Max is not well. He hates that his brother is sick. 

I hate that. Tell them I love them and will be thinking about them.

Mark: I will now go and kick some ass.

You got it!

You chuckled and put your phone away. “Everything ok?” Bob asked and you nodded.

“Grayson is sick like in the hospital.” You said

“Damn. I hate that for them.” Bradley said and then the others started to file in. You quickly took your place next to your brother as Maverick began talking and telling them what was going on. Soon after everyone was crowding in the rec room to wait. Several groups went up before it was yours, Bob's, Javy's turn. As you were walking out the door Bradley stopped you “Hey good look out there.” He said and you nodded and smiled.

“Thank you. I'll see you on the ground.” You said and then you were heading off with Bob to your jet. If only you knew what this practice run would bring.

“Just like old times?” Bob asked as you both arrived at the jet.

“Just like old times.” You said back at your base you flew with Bob while Mark was out and you were the one that did the flying while he was training. You both got in the jet and began to head towards the runway. When you got there you stopped and watched as Javy took off and once, he was far enough away you spoke to the air traffic control tower. “Air Traffic Control, this is Storm ready to take off.” You said. 

“Copy that Storm, the air is clear and the sky is yours. You can take off.” They said 

“Thank you, Air Traffic Control.” You said and then started speeding down the runway. You finally were up in the air and caught up with Javy.

“Alright let's do this.” Javy said and so began the practice run.

“Talk to me, Bob.” You said 

“We’re twelve seconds late on target. We gotta move, we gotta move.” Bob says 

“Copy try to stay with me.” Javy says agitated radar beeps. 

“Huh? Wait, who’s that?” Bob asks

“Blue team, you are spotted.” Maverick said 

“Shit, it’s Maverick. What the hell is he doing here?” Javy said

“What the hell is he doing here?” You ask 

“I’m a bandit on course to intercept. Blue team, what are you gonna do?” Maverick said 

“20 miles left, ten o’clock. He’s coming fast. 700 knots closure.” Bob confirmed

“Your call what do you want to do?” Javy asks the pair of you.

“Continue. We’re close. Stay on target.” You said

“He’s swinging around to the north.  Bob said 

“Stand by for pop-up.” Javy said 

“Be ready with that laser, Bob.” You said

“Copy, I’m on it.” He says as reaches for a button/knob, constantly working. 

Meanwhile back in the rec room everyone listens on the edge of their seats. “Come on Storm. You got this.” Bradley says to mostly himself.

“She’s a hell of a pilot. She has this in the bag.” Jake said “You know she loves you right?” Jake asks and Bradley nodded.

“I love her too.” He said

“Don’t hurt her or I will shoot you down.” Jake warned

“I won’t. I promise.” He said and Jake nodded and then they heard Maverick’s voice on the radio.

“Blue team, bandit is still closing.” Maverick said 

“Popping now.” Javy said as he does so and you follow. All three of you grunting trying to catch your breath.  

“Talk to me, Bob. Where’s Maverick?” Javy asks 

“He’s five miles out. He’s coming fast.” Bob replies

“Target in sight.” You said 

 “Where’s my laser, Bob?” Javy asks

“Dead eye! Dead eye! It’s no good. Sorry, I can’t get a lock.” Bob said 

“We’re out of time. I’m dropping blind.” Javy said and dropped the bomb. “Damn it, missed!” He added as the both of you pulled up. 

“That’s tone.” Maverick said as he toned you and Bob.

“Maverick has got a missile lock on us.” Bob said 

 “Shit! We’re dead.” You said 

“Blue team. That is a fail.” Maverick said and you pull away. “Level out Coyote.” He said as you watched in horror as he didn't do so and that scared you, you knew anything could happen but you never thought it would. “Coyote, copy.” You heard Maverick say. “Coyote, come in. Coyote, level wings.” You hear Maverick shout frantically “Oh my gosh he is in g-loc.” He said and he kept saying his name but his jet kept falling.

“He’s going to burn in.” You say worriedly. 

“I’m going after him.” Maverick said as you watched his jet jerk away and towards your friend. “Come on. Give me tone, give me tone, give me tone.” He said as he got a target lock on him “Snap out of it, coyote. Come on! Come on! Come on, Coyote, come on. Come on! Damn it! Coyote! Coyote!” Maverick shouts frantically. Finally, he seemed to snap out of it and popped up at the last second and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Coyote, you, okay? You, okay?” He asks

“I’m okay. I’m good.” He says breath heavy.

“Good. Good. That’s enough for today.” Maverick said as you pulled up next to him.

“That was close.” You say with a shake of your head.

“Too close.” Maverick said “Bird strike.” He said suddenly “Bird strike!” He exclaimed as the birds hit your jet and through your engine. Now you are terrified. 

Those two words are what brings Bradley and Jake’s world to a stop. “No no no no.” Bradley said to himself. Tears burning behind his eyes he needed you to pull through this and be ok. 

“Come on, Sis you got this.” Jake said and then your voice came through the radio and Jake being your twin brother knew the different tone in your voice that nobody else knew. He knew you were absolutely terrified. “Don’t panic.” He said.

Bradley was terrified. He couldn’t lose you. He’s lost his dad; he cannot lose you. He lost Maverick due to something so petty. “Come on, Y/N/N. You have to pull through this.” He said.

“Don’t panic. Don’t panic.” Jake repeated to himself hoping to send vibes to you. Bradley and Jake were the closest to the radio. 

“Bird strike.” You said as lights and warnings go off a fire warning goes off signaling a fire in one of your engines.  

“Storm, left engines on fire!” Bob said looking back and so do you.

“Climbing.” You said as you turn back and you pull the throttle up. “Throttling back. Shutting off fuel to the left engine. Extinguishing fire.” You say as you do so but alarms continue.

“Right engine is out!” Bob exclaims looking at the warnings.

“It’s still spinning. Trying to restart it.” You say as you power the engine on.

“Storm it is on fire, don’t start-” Maverick begin but you cut him off. You were so scared shitless but you couldn’t let it show.

“Throttling up.” You say as you pull the throttle up.

“Oh my god.” You hear Maverick say as you start to nose dive. 

“We’re on fire! We’re on fire!” Bob exclaims 

“Damn it!” You exclaim

“Engine fire. Right.” The automated voice

“Extinguishing the right engine.” You said and do so as you spin out of control.

“Storm, Bob punch out! Punch out!” Maverick exclaims 

“Warning lights everywhere! Hydraulic failure!” Bob says letting you know everything. 

“I can’t control it!” You said 

“She’s panicking.” Jake said 

“How do you know?” Bradley asked 

“I just know. Her voice does a certain thing. I was the only one to pick it up as a kid. It is how I knew she needed help and she would call me with that same tone when she was in trouble.” Jake explained

“She has this handled. She's Storm. Nothing can bring her down.” Mickey said and everyone nodded in agreement.

“She’s strong for sure. As kids we were playing on the ranch and riding horses and her horse threw her off and instead of giving up, she got back on. She showed the horse who was the boss. Another time we were running around barefoot and she cut her foot open on barbed wire and she acted like it was nothing. She sat through the stitches. She’s a storm to be reckoned with. It is how she got her callsign.” Jake explained trying to take his mind off what was happening up in the sky.

“She’s going to be ok.” Ruben said and they nodded.

“I know she will be.” Jake said 

“We’re going down, Storm! We’re going in! We’re going in!” Bob yells 

“You can’t save it. Eject, eject!” Maverick said and repeated over and over again. 

“Eject, eject, eject!” You yell out finally.

 “Altitude. Altitude.” The automated voice said as Bob ejects and then you follow him. Both parachutes open as the jet crashes into the earth. You somehow ended up being closest to the blast and it pushed you away and you landed it hard onto the ground right on your ankle and you gave a cry out. Bob landed and was quick to get over to you. 

“Are you ok?” He asks

“No, my ankle.” You say as you go to sit up but you give another cry. You then look down and see blood starting to soak through your flight suit. “Shit.” You say as you begin to get light headed.

“Hey no you stay awake.” He said

“I’m sorry.” You say and then you black out.

As Maverick walks into the rec room Jake comes running up to him. “Where is she?” He asks frantically.

“She’s in the hospital. Some debris from the jet crashing impaled her. Her ankle also took a hit. They took her into surgery but I don’t know anything else. They’re keeping her and Bob overnight and maybe her even longer. Go.” He said and Jake nodded and took off as most people do now it was just Bradley and him. 

“How is she?” Bradley asks 

“She is mostly ok.” He said 

“What does that mean?” He asks

“Some debris from the jet crashing impaled her. Her ankle also took a hit. They took her into surgery but I don’t know anything else. They’re keeping her and Bob overnight and maybe her even longer.” He said and Bradley nodded tears and they steadily fell down his face.

“I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I cut you off. I was just so pissed that you pulled my papers. It wasn’t fair. I can’t lose her. I love her.” Bradley said and Maverick smiled.

“I forgive you. Go and tell her.” Maverick said and he nodded and took off. When he reached the hospital, everyone was in the waiting room waiting.

“Jake is with Y/N. He’s family so he was the only one allowed to go back there.” Ruben said 

“Bradley?” A familiar voice asked and he turned around and saw Mark.

“Mark, have you heard?” He asked and Mark shook his head.

“No, what is going on? Why is everyone here?” He asked

“There was an incident with Javy and Bob and Y/N had a bird strike and had to eject. Some debris hit her and her ankle took a hit.” Bradley explained.

“Oh my gosh. Any updates?” He asked 

“They took her into surgery and repaired what they needed. Jake is with her now since he is family. They’re keeping them both overnight and her maybe longer.”  Bradley said and he nodded. 

“I need to get back to Grayson. Please keep me updated.” He asked and Bradley nodded.

“I will.” He said as Jake came out and everyone looked at him.

“She’s awake but is asking for you Bradley.” He said turning to him and he nodded and followed Jake to your room and about that time everyone was allowed to see Bob too. Bradley walked in without Jake. 

“Y/N/N.” He said and you looked up at him.

“Hi.” You said 

“You scared me, you know.” He said 

“I’m sorry. I scared myself too.” You said trying to move but winced.

“Don’t move.” He said moving closer and holding you down.

“I know but it’s so uncomfortable.” You said and he nodded.

“I know. I need to tell you something.” He said and you nodded at him to continue “I love you. I have loved you since pilot school. I’m sorry I ghosted you and I know I already said it but I’m saying it again. I was trying to figure out my feelings for you and in the end, it hurt you and I’m deeply sorry for that.” He said and you smiled.

“I love you too, Bradley. Ever since pilot school. Yes, I was hurt when you ghosted me but I get it. I love you with all my heart.” You said as the pain meds started to kick in and he saw this.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked and you nodded.

“I would love nothing more.” You said and he smiled and he pressed his lips to yours. Sparks flew. You would’ve stayed like that forever but Mickey’s voice sounded.

“About damn time! Look how cute the two of them are!” He exclaimed and you two pulled apart and looked at them.

“Oh, would you shut up and leave the love birds alone?” Javy said smiling

“But they are so cute!” Ruben said gushing.

“Remember, you hurt her and I’m shooting you down.” Jake said 

“Jakester, stop it. I can take care of myself.” You said smiling and he walked over.

“I know but I’m just doing my brotherly duties.” He said and you smiled.

“I appreciate that.” You said “Get them out of here for me. I want some time alone with him.” You said and he nodded “Can you let Mark know I’m, ok?” You asked.

“You got it, Sis.” He said and started to push people out and when they were out and gone, he went to let Mark know and you turned to Bradley.

“Let me take you to dinner when all of this is over.” He said and you smiled and nodded.

“Sounds perfect.” You said and yawned and he smiled.

“Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He said and kissed your head as you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep. Sure, your day might not have ended up like you planned but that what comes with being a Naval Aviator but in the end, you got the man you loved. Everything for the moment was perfect.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

@callsign-revenge

[bitchesgetriches]

Bitches I need some advice.

I'm fat, okay? I'm not ashamed about it. It just... Is. I'm fat.

Being fat is also fucking me up. It's causing me sleep problems, it's fucking my joints, I can't walk as far as I used to, I haven't run in years.

I want to lose weight. Not for anyone else. For me. I want to be fit again.

I'm surrounded by people telling me I'm "not fat" and need to "love myself like I am". I'm 210lb and 5'3". Ya girl is fat. And I'm okay with that it's not a bad word. I love myself. But I also love the things I used to be able to do when I was fitter. It's just really fucking hard.

I've got zero support left and right. And I don't know what to do. I know this isn't your area of expertise, but you're such great internet mamas that maybe you can help.

My darling child, we are SO humbled that you came to us with this. And while this isn't an area of our OFFICIAL expertise... weight and athleticism is something that I, Piggy, personally think a lot about! So let me see if I can offer some support to you, my beloved fat child.

By way of background: I have never been fat. Heavier than I want currently, but not fat. So I don't completely understand what you're going through. I have always been an athlete of one sort or the other. But more than that, I have always had the privilege of being relatively skinny without trying. At peak fitness I was running and rock climbing and doing all the stretchy and weight-trainy stuff. I was 5'5" and 130 lbs of jacked Bitch.

I am also a proud Italian American woman, which means that after 30 genetics decreed that I start putting on weight and rounding out and coming into my full Zia-ness. I'm currently 155 lbs. and running/climbing/stretching/jumping about/weight training is getting harder and harder. And that's frustrating to me.

Fat is not a bad word, merely a descriptor. So I'mma use it just as you have! I'm proud that you are prioritizing your health and ability to do what you love over losing weight for the sake of just being smaller. Because let's be clear: weight and health do not necessarily go hand in hand. If your goal is to improve your sleep quality, energy levels, and joint pain, then you should focus on activities that will work directly on those issues. Maybe that'll lead to weight loss--maybe not!

A lot of the medical establishment is cruel to fat people, so I'd be cautious about approaching this with your doctor. But you SHOULD get medical guidance before embarking on any kind of physical change. If your doctor says "Well, just lose weight through diet and exercise!" then you might want to look for a new doctor. If they instead offer practical solutions for incremental improvement, then great.

One of my favorite athletes is The Mirnavator. She's a fat marathon runner and offers a lot of information on how to start walking more and running as a fat person. I think she'll be a good role model for you as she focuses a lot on energy and joint health.

Also, you should check out Aubrey Gordon's blog Your Fat Friend and her podcast with Michael Hobbes, Maintenance Phase. She's also got some great books out! She's a fat expert on weight loss and diet culture. And her insights into healthy nutrition and body image are amazing. Her data-based approach will help you avoid the extreme dieting and weight loss trends that can hurt your health. Plus she's funny as fuck.

Lastly I will just say that mental health is tied to physical health. You're bummed about not doing the things you use to be able to do... and that probably makes it a lot harder to change! Acknowledge any depression or anxiety you feel about being fat and give yourself compassion. Start small and do what feels good.

Now here are two VERY old articles I wrote when I knew less about fatness. I think they still have a little bit to offer, though:

Why You Probably Don't Need That Gym Membership

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money 

Any fat members of Bitch Nation who want to weigh in? Uh... pun not intended.

[cosmicmunsonwrites]

okay so i’m a huge over thinker, like my brain just doesn’t stop. lately i've been getting thoughts about my loved ones passing away, im just rlly afraid to lose the people i’m closest to. maybe something small of jj comforting the reader when she gets thoughts like that? <3

right in front of me

pairing(s): bf!jj maybank x gf!fem!reader

warnings: thoughts of loved ones passing, pet names

summary: after noticing your change in mood, jj steps in to comfort you.

authors note: hi love! thank you for the request :)) i’m so sorry you’re feeling like that, but i truly hope you start to feel better <33

not edited

do not copy my works. i do not condone rewrites, translations, or edited versions. all my content is my content that i wrote.

not my gif

you were currently cuddled against his chest on the couch, watching whatever movie was playing.

you weren’t paying attention.

but then again, how could you? its like the thoughts never stopped. your mind was way too active and it never seemed to stop coming up with new negativity to leave you overthinking to the max.

you hated when it happened. it was often something new which then added to the bad thoughts as a whole.

and right now, you were at one of your lowest.

you began to think. you hadn’t checked in on your parents in a while. maybe you should? maybe you should text them right now, just incase. after all, you never really know how much time you have left with them.

maybe while you’re at it, text your aunt and uncle. you haven’t talked to them in a while. are they even okay?

the urge to grab your phone right now was beginning to eat away at you. you should really text them. what if something happens and you didn’t get to say one last ‘i love you’? maybe you can just—

“hey,” jj interrupted your thoughts, bright blue eyes searching yours. “i lost you there for a minute, sweetheart.”

oh.

what if you lose jj? what if he loses you? what if—

“what’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours?” he asked curiously.

you just shook you head. “nothing.”

“really? cause you were zoned out for a good 5 minutes,” he replied. “c’mon, sweetheart. what’s wrong?”

you felt like you were going to cry. “you know,” you shrugged. “just same old, same old.”

he reached for the remote to pause it before wrapping his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer to him. “it’s just thoughts, baby. they’re not real. you’re not gonna lose ‘em anytime soon,” he said. “and i can promise you i’m not goin’ anywhere.”’

you sighed and buried your head into his shoulder. “you don’t know that though.”

he leaned his cheek against your head. “maybe. but still, you gotta just enjoy the time you have with them now, you know, think of the memories. and i know it’s not easy, but distract yourself so you don’t have the time to think like that. besides, you know your family does the best they can to stay healthy.”

“i don’t know how to distract myself though,” you said, muffled against his shirt. “my mind just always wanders.”

“well,” he began. “i can think of a few ways to distract you.”

you smacked his chest. but then again, you couldn’t help the laugh that left your lips. “you’re so stupid.”

“i know. but that’s why you love me,” he said with a big cheesy grin.

and just like that, with your boyfriends stupid humor, you were distracted for a little.

[yuriisclumsy]

Love's Dance

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1,234

Part 1 | Part 2 (You are here) | Part 3

Authors note: I'm feeding you all good with this.

Four days have passed since I arrived here. 

I spend most of my time gathering intel and familiarizing myself with the place. One thing I noticed was the lack of underground operations here in the Henituse’s territory. The Count made sure to eradicate all sorts of dangerous activities for his people and family’s sake. 

Gotta give it to him, he did a spectacular job. The only underground activity—If you can call that—I was able to find were a few gangs in the semi-slums that didn’t have much strength. 

Aside from this, I also investigated and searched for the people on the list. Good news, I only have one last person to check. Bad news… 

It’s the Count’s son. 

“*Sigh…* Why does fate hate me so much?” I asked, looking up at the sky. Covering my face from the sun's rays with my hand, I search for writings, a sign…anything that could answer my question.  

“...oh, who am I kidding? Fate won’t respond to me, even if I were to beg for it.” 

Walking down a street full of vendors trying to sell products, my mind wandered to how I'll manage to get close to Cale Henituse, Count Deruth’s oldest son—and possibly his successor. 

A loud voice interrupted my state of mind, much to my dismay. It came from a woman standing on a podium. She had gathered a crowd with her excessive yelling; both adults and children were listening excitedly. 

Hmmm. Seems interesting My feet moved on their own, trying to get me as close as possible to this small curiosity. 

Getting a good listen at the girl, she seems to be announcing something. 

“Everyone! There will be a Festival in the next upcoming days!” The girl yelled excitedly. 

“A festival?”  

Having a festival means there is going to be more security, and knowing the Count’s record…yeah, no This was turning out to be a real nuisance. I don’t want to deal with that while doing this mission. I better find a plan to get to Henituse before the festival. But how…?  

Just as I turned to leave, the girl shouted again. 

“The Henituses’ are hosting this festival and are going to be in attendance through the whole thing! So don’t miss out on it!” 

This! I shot my head towards the girl, having a few stares at me. But I could care less. What is more important is the fact that I can use this festival to my advantage!  

If I can get him to mingle with the people, it’ll save me a lot of time! I grinned like a madman. 

“Look mama! That lady is smiling weirdly!” A kid pointed at me. 

“Don’t point,” the mother quickly grabbed him and walked away while staring at me weirdly. 

 Realizing I was acting out of line, I left the area to stop making an embarrassment out of myself. 

Ah! There is no time to waste! I need to come up with a plan fast! Otherwise, I'll lose this once in a lifetime opportunity. Thank you fate, I'll never doubt you again! 

I made my way to the room that was rented out for me. I did not notice the older gentleman in front of me and bumped into him, causing some of his groceries to fall. Luckily, he managed to catch all the items before they fell on the floor. 

“Oh, I am really sorry!” I vowed while apologizing, I went around him and stayed on my path. 

The older gentlemen stared at me until I faded into nothing. 

“...” 

… 

“So, there are two high class agents currently in the city?” Cale asked. 

“Yes.” Choi Han confirmed. Ron was right next to him when they made the discovery, so they went straight back to report. “One of the agents has been living in the city for a few years with little activity, the other recently arrived.” 

“From what we gathered, the newer agent is most likely the one assigned to whatever mission they gave out.” Said Ron right after Han finished. 

“Those are a few fries! I could go right now and destroy them!” A young dragon spoke while playing with his food, he smashed a cookie signifying what he’ll do. 

No, thank you. You’ll just destroy the city while doing so. Cale sweated at this image. 

“One of them is a bit odd if I have to say.” Ron spoke. 

“What do you mean?” 

“When me and the punk were searching, we ran across one of them. She seemed to be happily skipping while putting up bombs.” Ron said with a smile. 

You call that odd? She seems to fit right in with those weirdos. Cale thought. 

“What Ron said is true. She is really weird.” Choi Han agreed.

 

“What is odd about that? If anything, she matches Arm’s whole craze-quota.” 

“She was placing bombs in abandoned homes and alleys; places people didn’t frequent. Don’t you think this is a bit strange?” Ron finally said. 

Cale grabbed his chin in thought.

That is strange. Usually, Arm does not care for casualties. As long as they’re plans were met, anyone could go up in flames… Still, her placing bombs while skipping is concerning. 

“...keep an eye on her and take Raun and the cats with you. I want to dismantle the bombs to be safe.” Cale ordered his subordinates. 

“Yes, master Cale.” 

“Yes, young master.” 

“You ready big sister?” 

“Hm! Can’t wait to teach the youngest how this is done!” 

“I’ll show you, human, that Raun is the greatest!” 

“Good. Now go.” Cale dismissed the group. 

… 

They really just sent me on a suicide mission I thought, looking over the information I had on Cale as I sat in a desk in complete defeat. There were papers scattered all over the room; they covered walls, floor, and bed—there were even some in the bathroom. It wasn’t a pretty site. 

They were detailed plans I had been brainstorming, but so far, all the routes had flaws and countermeasures from the opposing party. I grabbed my hair in frustration. 

Cale’s party consists of powerful individuals: from skilled butlers to beast men. All beings I could not take down on my own, heck, I don’t think even with competent members of Arm, would I, in a million years, take them down. I can’t even hold a weapon correctly. 

“Agh…mmHGHMGHMM” I hit my head against the wooden desk. The despair I was feeling was immense. 

“Maybe it isn’t too late to run away yet…” I say hopeful, before turning on my rationality. “Oh, who am I kidding!? They’ll find me if I run away!” I cry out. 

I glance at the papers on the floor, but one gets my attention. The festival flier had beautiful dancers covering its frame along with some instruments. Flipping the paper to its back gives some information on one of the events of the festival: every day of the festival, right after sunset, citizens and guests can take part in a dance. 

I don’t get how they can plan all of this in a matter of days…the Henituses’ are incredible. Wait a second. If I can get the count’s son to dance, then I’ll be able to get to him! It still needs polishing, but I can combine this with a scraped plan. 

“Looks like I need to contact Agent Lance for a local dress.” 

…

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