#tw: weight loss
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So I’m not sure if this is just me, but did anyone else think that Crosshair looked more gaunt during his time with the Empire and after compared to how he looked in Clone Wars Season 7 and the first episode of Bad Batch? Like I feel like his face looked more angular and his cheeks looked more hollow. I’m not sure if this was just my perception, but it made me so sad.
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The fact that private surgeons have a BMI limit and won't see you unless you hit that sucks huge and terrible balls
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Weight Loss
I hate it. I hate that I have to lose weight in order to get top surgery. I hate that the entry point for approval for top surgery here in Denmark is a BMI under 27. I hate BMI and I hate that the medical community has not figure out that it's bullshit.
Yes, I am overweight. By those dumbass BMI standards, I'm obese even. And I'm not exactly the healthy kind of fat, either. I eat junk and I have a hard time changing my diet to something more healthy (hello, ARFID that I only just found out about sometime last year!).
But here's the thing: I love working out. I haven't always loved it. In September 2020 (yes, that time when everyone else became couch potatoes!) I took up running and found out that I fucking LOVE it!
A while before then I'd started strength training at the gym (which was interrupted by the pandemic) and holy shit, lifting heavy shit makes me feel powerful!
I'm back at the gym now and have been pretty consistent in the past six-ish months with going three times a week. I can see changes happening. There's muscle under the fat now. I can flex my upper arms and actually see the contours of biceps and triceps. I'm more comfortable wearing tighter fitting clothes despite still having rolls from here to eternity.
But weight loss on the scales is slow. And if it wasn't for that rotten BMI limit for top surgery, I wouldn't even have cared about what numbers on the scales says.
I hate the fucking system for forcing me to think about weight rather than just feeling good about my body.
Fuck them!
#weight loss#tw: weight loss#enby#nonbinary#non binary#transgender#transmasculine#transmasc#lgbtq#trans masc#lgbt#queer
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Update part two (this is the rest of it, there isn’t any more… at the moment O.o).
February 2024
It took all of two days for my BP to return to my ‘normal’ (the value I expected and where it’s been for a few years now).
It took over a week for me to feel mostly better, and two to approach feeling normal.
Chug away through the rest of the month, but I’m not energetic at all.
March 2024
Nothing super-exciting, although I slowly but surely feel more and more drained—almost exactly the way I felt when I went in because my blood sugar was high. Which was very confusing, because it was great.
Late March-April 2024
I felt awful again. I could barely get the energy up to do anything, and I was back to sleeping all the time. 14-16 hours per day on the weekend, falling asleep in my chair when I got home from work, waking up enough to crawl into bed and go right back to sleep for the night. Which also adds up to 14-16 hours per day.
Warning: diet talk
———
Remember how I started Ozempic? It does weird things to how I perceive hunger. Add that to how well I remember to eat and…
At some point I realized that in the last three days the only things I’d eaten each day were a couple of pieces of toast w/peanut butter for breakfast, nibbled on jerky for lunch, and maybe ate some more toast for dinner.
Thinking back further, I couldn’t figure out a recent time frame where I had done better than that. I had weighed myself in early February, and remembered wondering if dropping 25lbs. (11.3kg) in eight weeks was a good idea.
Shit.
(FYI: no*, it isn’t.)
So I got my exhausted ass out of the house and grabbed a case of Ensure, multivitamins, and other snacky crap I knew I’d eat. My goal was to get things back together enough to get the energy to start fixing my diet, nothing more. I knew aiming higher wouldn’t work until after I could do something besides work and nap.
(*Experts recommend an initial weight-loss goal of 5% to 10% of your starting weight within 6 months. For me, it should have taken nearly seven months to hit that 10%. Granted, these rates are for ‘unassisted’ dieting.)
———
It took all of three days for me to feel significantly better. Not great, but better. I still didn’t have much energy, but my sleeping patterns altered drastically. I was still napping after work, but I would wake up two hours later and accomplish something before going to bed. I didn’t accomplish much, but it was more than sleeping and more sleeping.
Things slowly got better, but again, getting to “ok” was faster than getting back to “normal.”
I know I dropped off the face of the earth, but it felt like every time I announced that things went wonky but I was feeling better now and put out a few chapters, things would blow up again. I wanted to make sure things were better this time.
Which was a poor choice; I should at least have posted something that said I was fucked up but working on it. I apologize for that lack of communication, although things did blow up again…
April 26, 2024
TORNADO.
A FUCKING TORNADO WENT RIGHT THROUGH OUR WORKSITE.
FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!!!
I know I posted about it. It wasn’t very strong (HA!) by the time it came over the hill and destroyed the house at the top of it, merely (MERELY!!) tossing over a few rail cars and flipping a few semi-trailers.
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We got lucky. This very same tornado absolutely wrecked Elkhorn (west of Omaha, NE).
I’ve stated I live and work in the Omaha area, so I’m not too worried about posting this, but here is an overlay of that tornado’s path on top of Apple Maps with my little blue dot while sitting at my desk.
May 2024
Most of May went fairly smoothly. I even got a little writing done!
Unfortunately, I had fallen so far behind on projects at work during all of the above that I was now trying to get caught up. Said project was over four months late at this point. I was working a bit late (not crazy-late, but about an extra hour most days) while still drained, so I didn’t have a whole lot of extra mental energy for writing.
I was, however, finally back to plotting and planning! Yay! Progress!
Until… (is anyone shocked at this point?)
The Friday before Memorial Day I felt a bit drained.
I woke up Saturday with a headache, feeling achy and sore. It didn’t get better, so I took my temperature around noon. 100.1ºF.
Wonderful.
I took a Covid test (that’s my default action to feeling crappy now), but it came back negative. Note that I wasn’t coughing, and I didn’t feel particularly short of breath or anything.
Nothing improved over Sunday, but it didn’t change much, either.
Same for Monday (Memorial Day). But this now made three days with a fever (also three consecutive negative Covid tests).
I agreed to @grumpyoldsnake’s and their friend’s demands to get my ass to a doctor the next day if I still had the fever, although I really wasn’t feeling too bad other than achy. Note: still no coughing (I promise this is important).
I woke up in the middle of the night when I heard something that sounded like a goddamn goose in my bedroom.
Have you ever woken yourself up by making some weird-ass noise that you then can’t duplicate? Even though you know you made it?
I was able to duplicate it. Without much issue. It fell under “well, that’s odd,” and I went back to sleep.
A bit later I woke up to a different weird noise, but I was sidetracked by what I heard and felt after I coughed a few times. My chest was making a sound like a freshly opened pop can. When my mouth was open, it was even worse. I could feel it bubbling away (it didn’t hurt).
Fuck.
Guess what?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/472622a4e24953e1c05643e18c5fbb52/5e5f9061ddd13078-de/s540x810/f7d17dfcbdccaafd26aadd2486b19308ad9b56f9.jpg)
PNEMONIA!!
Fuck my life.
Prior to Friday, I hadn’t been sick. They tested me for the flu; that was negative.
Pneumonia is almost always a secondary infection, not primary. You have a cold, or Covid, or bronchitis, and it turns into pneumonia when bacteria settle into your irritated bronchi.
Me, on the other hand…
I never really coughed all that much. Reviewing the blood oxygen data from my Apple Watch, I could peg when the infection started really kicking in, although it looks like something started about a week prior to that (when I did a round-trip plane trip, spending five or six hours on a plane and in an airport two days in a row…).
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It took a week to get to a place where my breathing to start feeling easier, nearly two before the oxygen levels started crawling back up.
I did start coughing.
And coughing up… liquid. It was the weirdest sensation. I’d cough, and end up with a mouthful of what felt like slightly thick water. It didn’t really taste, and was nearly colorless.
I coughed that shit up for nearly three days.
I never coughed up the stuff that had any sort of color, although it did get thicker and more ‘traditional’ for stuff you cough up when you get sick. Which puts to lie that you can tell you have a chest infection by the color of the crud you cough up. :-/
It took another nearly two weeks after finishing the ten days of antibiotics to feel like my breathing was normal. The first day back to work was one hell of a reality check, though. I hadn’t been moving around much, and I knew I was short of breath, but I made it all of fifty feet from my car, then about ⅓ of the way up the stairs to my office before I had to stop. I couldn’t catch my breath and was dizzy.
That was the first time I thought, “that could have killed me.”
Not walking up the stairs, but what led to me standing on the stairs, gasping like a landed fish.
It was emphatically hammered home when I made a joking comment to a coworker that it thankfully wasn’t that bad.
Her response?
“Oh, no. Your x-ray was bad.”
>.<
I’ve been getting better. My nutrition went sideways again due to being utterly distracted, but I think that is fairly understandable. :-P
I refuse to say “I’m doing fine now!!”
Fate doesn’t need the temptation.
I hope to get back to writing. I hope even more that I can tackle the monster my inbox has become (both at AO3 and my personal email, which has been just as neglected).
Take care, everyone. Stay healthy.
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Dieting as a neurospicy person is a fucking nightmare tbh because you tell your brand new dietician you can't eat something because the texture makes you gag, and they treat you like you're a moron that can't tell the difference between a donut and an apple. Stop giving me leaflets telling me what good and bad foods are! I KNOW. I JUST DON'T LIKE ALL THE FANCY ALTERNATIVES TO PASTA/BREAD/RICE.
She told me to try snacking on carrot/cucumber sticks with hummus (ma'am that looks like baby sick, and smells like it too imo) and when I said I'd just eat the carrot and cucumber, she was like "no, no, you need the protein" and I just sort of looked at her?? Anyway, I'm ranting, because despite losing over 30lbs on my own, they're not really encouraging me in any useful capacity - I'm about 180lbs FYI - and blaming all my illnesses on that, so I'm trying to do this out of spite, but I have such a limited palette and aversions to so many foods, it's fucking hard, man.
My apologies to those who like quinoa/hummus and all that stuff, I'm happy it's a good fit for you but I won't put it in my mouth 🤣
#please ignore if you wish#dieting#trigger warnings#weight loss#trigger warning#tw: dieting#tw: weight loss#I'm literally just ranting
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🌸Working on 2025 workout plan/half marathon training plan.🌸
I really want to do more pilates in the new year so I'm trying to add more into the week. I'm trying to decide whether to buy a reformer board, but it will probably end up being a waste of money. I do a class every Monday, but want to do it more than once a week. However, I am training for a half marathon so I need to make sure I consistently get running into the routine.
Of course, I need to find a good balance with eating as well. My main focus atm is gut health but I do really want to lose some weight too.
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New year plan/training:
Mon: 10000 steps Pilates
1300 calories
Tues:
10000 steps
Run 30 mins
Lower body
1600 calories
Wednesday 10000 steps
1300 calories
Thursday 10000 steps Run 30 - 45 mins
1400 calories
Friday JKD Run 30 mins
10000 steps
1500 calories
Saturday 10000 steps
Run Pilates/upper body
1300 calories
Sunday 10000 steps Long run.
1600 calories
#training plan#running#half marathon#fitness#pilates#strength#pink#cute#tw:weightloss#tw: weight loss#edited
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I hate seeing pictures of celebrities and suddenly they have aged 20 years and you can see all the lines of their skull and they're thinner and just....dear god they look like death. WHY WHY WHY are you fucking doing this to yourselves?
I remember when my grandmother got sicker and sicker and ate less and less and every time I saw her the death's head under her skin was more apparent and this look is somehow becoming trendy?
#tw: weight loss#and worse people are sharing these photos as thirst posts...like do you not see it?
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/19518d840a9e329f8a46180ae9113e71/8c3aad266e4ea226-d3/s540x810/8ac45faba2b718af0060bf7888a17bd7423b4b06.jpg)
I don’t talk about it much but I’ve lost almost 60lbs. But no one tells you that when you lose weight suddenly it hurts when you’re a side sleeper. I had to get a memory foam mattress topper with a cushy pillow top that goes over it so my hips won’t hurt. And now when I sleep on my side I need a knee pillow because it hurts to have the bones in my knees touching each other.
#and since my brain still doesn’t understand I lost weight I still move around like I’m 60lbs heavier#i still try to make myself small and get scared to sit in chairs but we’re working on that in therapy too#who knew getting your mental health worked on would lead to finally being able to shed some weight#tw: weight#tw: weight loss
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nobody hates fat people more than fat influencers who just got a prescription for ozempic
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I just realized something regarding hetalia bulgaria (this gets dark, check tw before clicking on keep reading)
y'know, he's portrayed as skinny and lacking muscles in hetalia
irl, bulgaria is the country with fastest declining population in the world, largely due to emigration and low birth rate, as well as one of the countries with highest death rate
so maybe he's suffering from cachexia, a medical condition where you lose weight & (mainly) muscle mass even though you don't want to, and perhaps it's due to his population decline
maybe it started in 1989 when the communists lost power, the borders opened and the economy became worse than before for several years, prior to this, in 1989, the population of bulgaria was 9 million, now, in 2024, it's 6,5 million
in humans, cachexia is most common with people who have late stage cancer, or aids, or untreatable chronic diseases such as copd or chronic kidney failure, maybe the corrupt politicians & the oligarchs & mafia are something like cancer or another severe disease to him?
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b368b201c4e9dc80a3d117714467fd04/3fbf223a10db25f5-0d/s540x810/a3ec5499b55ba836b46e832eac2f499850edffee.jpg)
I knew we weren't all imagining the weight loss...
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Sigh
Nearly had a panic attack trying to eat lunch at my parents’ house because I’ve become so accustomed to weighing my food so I can track it properly and I put food on my plate as I usually would but I couldn’t fucking eat it because I didn’t know how much any of it was???
I know how insane and unhealthy it sounds but right now I crave the control of knowing how much I’m eating. I’m not restricting anything or not eating (not really part of my ED lol) but I know tracking calories can be bad too, don’t get me wrong. But this is what I need to do to not feel like utter shit and start binging at any minor inconvenience and I nearly fucking panicked?? Because of lunch???
I had to go get my mom’s kitchen weight because my sister saw me freeze and start panicking and told me to “just go get it, it’s fine, nobody will judge you” and they didn’t but (they did mock me though which.. great) GOOD LORD…
I need to lose weight (I know, I know, but I’m ranting here) to be able to get top surgery (and also I am in pain from the extra weight I’ve gained) so this is important to me but I’ve never actually frozen like that before. I’ve felt guilty and all that other shit but I couldn’t physically make myself start eating, it felt so wrong
Is this gonna be an issue forever? No, because I’ll be going out this weekend and I won’t track as religiously but I just… needed to tell someone that it fucking sucks. BED is a real ass eating disorder, okay, and it SUCKS…
GAH… it’s clearly the fucking stress triggering me but Cnnskcjajd ARGH. Can’t wait to have ice cream for dinner, alone in my own home
#tw: eating disorder#I am not in any kind of treatment for this okay I know I’m being dumb but I need coping mechanisms to survive these days#and this is just how I cope right now#misha rants#uhhhh…#tw: weight loss#don’t wanna trigger anyone with my negative ass ranting 🫡
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I've literally lost 25 pounds this year lol
Feels weird but good; I'm like, re-connecting with myself in a way? Does that make sense?
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TW: weight loss, ED, Michael Italiano
I get everyone wants to know what happened between Micheal and Daniel but things like these have iron clad NDAs involved.
trainers are with the drivers constantly, contract negotiations, shit talking about anyone and everyone, they hear everything and lawyers are there to make sure that whatever they hear, they take it to their grave.
the only person with the power to say anything is Daniel and you know what I'm glad because I don't want to hear that snake's side of the story.
I don't care if you think it's not fair to choose sides without knowing everything, the transformation Daniel went through from mclaren to alpha tauri was VISIBLE. Only when he showed up looking healthy is when you realize the jarring difference between now and 2022. The weight loss was evident. some of the articles mentioning Daniel fasting for an entire day during renault days are eye opening.
you can say it was the pressure from not performing but if you pay another guy presumably in hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep you healthy, ITS THEIR job to make sure you're not losing weight.
Anyways, I hope that bitch stays away and keeps his mouth shut forever. I would also think it's better Ric nation leaves him alone because the more he gets attention the worse it'll be for Daniel. Daniel doesn't want him in his life so we shouldn't try to drag him back.
that's my two cents
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totally ooc but I'm so proud of myself! when I started chemo and my immunotherapy meds, I gained a ton of weight (like 20 pounds in 2 months ton). today, since I embarked on my weight loss journey in november, I am down 15 pounds! it is possible to lose weight on medications!!!! hard as hell, but it is possible
#libby speaks#ngl it's super difficult#omad and like 90 minutes of exercise hard#i used to drop weight on a diet easily#it is SO HARD now but it's possible!#i have one cheat meal every two weeks btw bc mcdonalds is life#tw: weight loss#weight loss tw#tw: diet#diet tw
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im trying to lose weight bc my pants don’t fit me and unfortunately, i don’t have money to go and buy multiple pairs of new pants. i have been sticking to my deficit pretty well this week (it’s my 3rd week doing it and this shit is hard. i was so over the first week and i stuck to it 3/5 days last week, but i’ve done it before and i will do it again!!!) but going to costco and then stopping at the food court and knowing i don’t have enough calories to eat a slice of pizza is slightly depressing. and tbh if i wasn’t going to a party tomorrow and not planning on stuffing my face in tacos and soda for a couple of hours i would’ve gotten my pizza 😭 the worst part is i’m not even hungry bc i ate dinner before i came to costco. i just want pizza to eat pizza 😭😭😭
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