#cue my essay on this that i will never write
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#listen i'm all for queer rage but#as someone from a country that was conquered and raided by colonial powers i'm uhhh not so sure#even when you take away the physical yoke the rest remains#what flint was trying to do was reform the system. change the holders of power and the values#a true revolution would be refusing to play by the rules#which silver understood. he never did wear the crown. never asked for it#how is nassau kingdom any different any triumph any happy ending#when there's literally love and hope and legacy that trascends right there#anyway. hehe silly pirate show arrrr#black sails#a text post
Tags via @methodwriting
obsessed with the people who think the war wasn't doomed. they fighting for an island. it's an allegory to the dream of a free world. it is founded in sand,
#I have so many thoughts about this#like it's lovely to imagine a world where they would win the war#but there was so much against it even before silver stopped everything#and Flint was looking so far ahead he couldn't see where he was stepping#BOSTON? For real?#One step at a time my love#cue my essay on this that i will never write#i love this fucking show
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Abby when my period RAAHHHHHH
ok i know this request was about something smutty but i happen to be on my period and it came out a lot softer than i had intended so I APOLOGIZE..... smutty abby coming soon (we hope)
but enjoy
☆
"do we have those chips that we ate the other day?"
the christmas lights that are taped to your bedroom wall with tape stolen from your ex-roommate are slowly peeling off. abby looks at them.
"uhh... the orange ones?" she says, her gaze returning to the computer in front of her.
"yes" a mild pain settles in your abdomen; a warning of the upcoming colic.
"lev ate them all" abby's fingers type rapidly, the word counter increasing second by second.
"oh my god" you protest, more from the upcoming pain than from the chips "tell your child not to eat my food"
abby laughs lightly without stopping writing "it's not my child, for your information" thousands of daggers attack your abdomen "i'll buy you more tomorrow".
the pain takes your breath away. your body twists in on itself like a little bug looking for warmth to soothe the pain.
the pain lasts for a minute or so, but you can swear it lasted hours; your body is the trojan horse and the warriors inside your belly were out to fight tooth and nail, but against yourself.
your mouth lets out a moan of pain and abby turns around. she sees your body curled in on itself, your face contorted in winces of pain and she could swear she'd buy you all the chips you wanted if it would ease the pain.
abby gets up from her chair and her stocking-clad feet with your face stamped on them scurry across the room. your valentine's day present.
she gave you a t-shirt that reads "my girlfriend is better than yours".
"are you okay?" abby mentally beats herself up for asking such an obvious question "do you need anything?"
you shake your head and feel the warmth of her hand on your shoulder "just a second".
abby nods even when you can't see her. the pain lingers for a few more seconds, leaving your body for short moments and then fiercely attacks again.
"this is lev's fault" you joke, and abby knows it's her cue to go along.
her body climbs onto the bed, her muscles navigate between the sheets and blankets resting on the mattress, her freckled skin finds yours and her arms capture your body, enveloping it in a warmth that can cure all ill.
"no" you mutter "you have to finish the essay abby".
you try to pull away from abby, to detach yourself from her alluring warmth. that essay has been dwelling in abby's mouth, between her molars and gums, for months. you remember the countless times abby mentioned to you how important that essay was, how it could ruin or resolve her life, how nervous and anxious she was.
basically, it was very important.
but abby is abby, and she's a very committed girlfriend "don't be stupid" a breeze of freckles and moles comes back to invade you and press you against her body "it's my break".
you roll your eyes, abby never took breaks, but you decided to grant yourself the right to be a little selfish about her future and say nothing, resting your head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat.
abby's fingers dance through the fine hair on your head, untangling imperceptible knots and combing through each strand, blessing it with her warm touch belonging to a movie summer. you remember the time abby asked you if you were jealous of the sun that kissed her skin and caused more and more freckles with each passing summer; you laughed and tapped her shoulder playfully.
and to your stupidity, you did feel a little bit jealous
"you know what, i have the theory that every time you kiss me i get a new freckle" abby had said, she had sunglasses on but you could feel her gaze on yours "maybe you can test it"
that summer you gave her a million kisses.
"Do you want some painkillers?" abby mumbles, her words vibrating in her chest.
"i can handle it" you look at her. she's grimacing "what?"
"whatever" abby says and her breath hits your face.
wait a moment.
"stick out your tongue" you say
"what?"
"just do it!"
her hand rests on your lower back, her fingers make small circular motions, your chest bumps against hers.
when abby sticks out her tongue, you can see how it is slightly tinged orange.
"you ate the chips!" you yell.
abby's cheeks redden slightly and her laughter is loud. her body vibrates under yours.
"you're a liar!" you say, a smile growing on your face against your will "you fucking liar!"
abby continues to laugh and her hand comes to rest on the back of your neck, drawing your lips to hers.
she laughs some more and kisses you, slow and sweet with a disguised apology unraveling on your lips. abby opens her mouth wider and you can taste the salty taste of your stolen food.
"you're a liar" you whisper against her lips, her hand still on the back of your neck, holding you against her "i'll tell this to lev."
forehead to forehead, you can see abby's eyes narrow at your smile "i'm sorry" abby whispers too, leaving a small kiss on your lips "can you forgive me?"
she scatters small kisses all over your face: down your cheeks; the bridge of your nose; the bone of your cheekbones; the corner of your mouth; over your eyelids.
"please?" abby murmurs, her fingers caressing your cheeks "huh?" you slowly deny, a smile escaping from the corner of your lips "you don't forgive me?"
you deny again, and abby's mouth meets yours again. she kisses you so slowly that you forget for a second the stabbing pain of the colic attacking your body, you feel drunk, lost in the wetness of her tongue searching for a home in your mouth, so delicate and erotic at the same time.
"and now?" abby murmurs, her pupils dilated, her hand on the back of your neck.
"that's manipulation" you whisper, feeling her heart beat stronger.
she shrugs, caressing your jaw and neck "I just use the tools I have at my disposal"
you smile and leave a kiss on the tip of her nose "you forgave me?" she continues.
"i'm considering it" you murmur, and the blonde girl's lips invade yours again.
#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson#the last of us#abby anderson x female reader#abby the last of us#abby x reader
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Hello! Congrats on 143 followers! You deserve it!
Could I request Malleus, Kalim, Vil, Ace, and Jamil with an s/o telling them they're the best thing to have ever blessed her eyes?
A/N: ’M GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS SM 😭♥︎ I have a 3-4 characters limit though so I had to take out Vil and Jamil as I didn’t have time 😔 maybe I’ll add a pt.2 in the future with the two in it! I hope you like it!
Got me Lovestruck
☆Staring☆: Ace Trappola, Malleus Draconia, and Kalim Al Asim
Synopsis: Their reaction to Fem!Reader suddenly saying they’re ‘the best things to ever bless her eyes’
Warnings: Tooth rooting fluff, I don’t proofread my shit so prolly grammatical errors, missing words, etc. I’m sorry💀💀💀
Ace Trappola
You two were doing your usual trouble causing habits, only to be caught by one of the teachers and get sent to detention. “I cant believe we have to write a 500 word essay about why we shouldn’t balance stuff on top of sleeping people’s heads….” Ace groaned quite heavily slamming his head down his desk.
“Like, it’s not OUR fault they fell asleep where we are! That should be an unspoken rule! ‘never fall asleep around Ace or Y/n’ right???” He turned to look at you with a frown as his head still laid there, you giggle at your boyfriend’s frustration and reached over to play with his hair in attempt to calm him down from his tantrum.
After awhile he stopped ranting and just doodle on the paper near where his face rested on his desk, pouting but enjoying the feeling of your hands running through his hair. You found yourself chuckling at the boy’s expression, you always found it endearing how he made you laugh at any given situation…it was one of the reasons why you fell for him…
“Ace you’re one of the best things to ever bless my eyes y’know that?” You blurted out, a soft smile plastered on your face as you looked at him. Needless to say he stopped whatever nonsense he was doing and looked right back at you. Eyes widened and shocked from the sudden confession you’ve made.
Cue Microsoft shut down sound
Wouldn’t know how to react, like his heart is pounding and wants to kiss you right then and there but also a nervous wreck
All his ‘rizz’ that he’d usually brag about would be flushed down the drain, and he has now downgraded into a flustered speechless boy.
When you notice he was acting like a deer caught in headlights, you leaned in and pecked his forehead to bring him back to reality.
He wanted to melt, that’s what he felt like. He pulled you closer to him by the waist and just buried himself in your embrace.
You’d tease him but let him do that until his brain starts running again and is able to produce words.
Once he’s up and running again he’d gather enough courage to leave soft kisses on your collarbone as he’s still too red to kiss your face.
“I fucking love you, I cant- I don’t even- Ughhhh see??? this is what you do to me?? Oh my gosh…”
Malleus Draconia
You two were out on your nightly walks again and he’s going on a tangent about gargoyles while holding on to your hand, you listened and probably know what he’s talking about already due to countless times he’s mention this subject to you whenever it sparks up in your conversations.
Still you listened to him fondly, showing interest to his likings aswell, occasionally you’d ask him questions, and he’d elaborate. You loved how enthusiastic he was when he talks about the things that he likes, the hobbies he does, or anything at all if your being honest.
The horned fae’s voice was like that song you’ll never get tired of, suddenly a question from him cuts you off your train of thought “aren’t they the greatest creatures to bless this earth my dear?” He asks you. “I beg to differ” you protested, he was shocked as you always agreed with him on this, “oh? well then please do” he offers, awaiting for your argument. He was always up for a friendly debate.
You smiled up at him, “They’re not the greatest thing to ever bless MY eyes…because that would be you, my prince” and lifted up his hands to plant a small kiss on his knuckles. “And my opinion wont be swayed so don’t even try tsunotaro” you grinned at him. Suddenly though…your lover stopped walking.
He hears church bells ringing lol
He’d passionately but gently give you a kiss, you’d have to be the one who pulls away frist because this man isn’t stopping 🥹
He was already asking DEMANDING you marry him and ‘no’ isn’t an option. Already has your whole life with him planned in his head.
You’d giggle at his sudden statement and he explains to you that he wasn’t joking. You’d assure him that you knew he wasn’t but ‘not now’
He frowns, but understands and doesn’t push you any further (for now at least) He couldn’t leave you that night, so he stayed over and slept beside you. Coddling you with affection
Would be thinking about what you said to him everyday and smiling, he’d set the whole world on fire if you wanted him to, no questions asked.
After that day he’d keep asking ‘when’ you were going to marry him. And would be stuck to you like glue.
“Malleus…this isn’t your class” “I understand sir Trein but I simply cannot leave my wife…” “WIFE?!?!” “EXCUSE ME??!” “Mal go to your class”
Kalim Al Asim
You two were just hanging out in Scarabia, he was simply laying on your chest, content as he watched vidoes on his phone. These were the days where it was peaceful, the only sounds that were heard were birds chirping and occasionally small talk from the two of you.
Kalim was busying himself with the content his phone provided, making little noises like gasps or laughs from time to time. You just watched him, as his expression changes, finding yourself laughing aswell because you thought he was cute.
He’d look up at you from his phone and ask what you found amusing but you’d tell him that it was nothing and he’d just go back to doing what he was doing. This went on for awhile until he puts down his phone and looks up at you with a pout, “What?? You’ve been laughing since earlier, is there something on my face?…” he whines, climbing up the cushion to meet your eyes and lays down beside you.
You nod, so he starts wiping his face with his hands you only respond with a laugh again, slowly you took his hands off his face and replaces them with yours, “What? What’s on my face?“ he asks, “The best thing to ever bless my eyes” you answered and gave him a kiss. You swore you saw his pupils dilate.
Would cry 💀💀💀 no seriously he’d start tearing up.
You notice this and ask what was wrong, finding it a bit funny that your boyfriend just starts crying for no reason.
He’d burry his face in your chest sobbing, hands wrapped tightly on your waist, mumbling little I love you’s
You laugh at him for this as you thought it was adorable, you peppered him with kisses to make him stop crying.
When you ask him again he’d just say that he loves you so much that’s why he started crying. And once again burry himself in your warmth.
Would rub hearts on your back and leave kisses on your neck sometimes. When you end up falling asleep first he’d watch you sleep and tell you how much you mean to him.
Would always remind you that he loves you everyday from then on. Like ALL THE TIME, you have to tell him to stop sometimes ‘cuz it comes at the most RANDOM of hours.
“Y/n….?” “Hm???” “I love you okay? Very much…” “love it’s 3 in the morning” “I know, I just wanted to tell you that, go back to sleep now, I love you” “Hm…I love you too..” “I love you more-“ “Kalim…”
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x mc#twisted wonderland headcanons#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x yuu#twisted wonderland reaction#twst x mc#twst x yuu#malleus draconia#malleus x reader#ace trappola#ace trapolla x reader#kalim al asim#kalim al asim x reader
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This essay is so big, it needs two parts!
The EYCTE cycle
Part 1
From ‘I Just wanted to be one of the Strokes’ to ‘I’m scared of love’ and why I don’t think we will get TLSP 3 any time soon.
There is no doubt that Planet Milex is a different place to where it was in 2015. Back then, they hung out in LA, treated girlfriends like third wheels, were pictured cuddling and behaving like a couple outside The Kills gig, and then went onto record Everything You’ve Come to Expect.
Planet Milex 2024 seems like a desert. No official pictures of them together, the only indication they are still in each other’s lives being Miles frequently mentioning in interviews about hanging out with Alex, still sharing clothes, a picture of them walking the streets of Shoreditch, a sneaky photo at a Scott Walker tribute concert (which interestingly was taken down immediately). Then ultimately, Alex wanting his beloved to be the support act for the final days of the tour, when it was clear at times Alex felt a little overwhelmed by it all, and of course, Miles was there to hold his hand and bring him back down to earth.
‘Maybe I was a little too wild in the seventies’
It’s interesting out of all the Monkey’s songs, it is I Wanna Be Yours that Alex then merged with Star Treatment (often adding ‘I just wanted a jet ski for the moat’ – more of that later), which kind of confirms who I Wanna Be Yours is about – I have no idea why no none has ever questioned the addition of ‘secrets I have held in my heart’.
I think the EYCTE period was one where feelings deepened and promises were made. The one to watch is Miles. At the beginning of the promotional period, Alex looks like an adoring boyfriend, but Miles is quite composed and whilst flirty with Alex, it’s no more than he ever was before, during the SIAS and AM eras. By the end, in the days of Sziget and Rock en Seine. Miles is looking like a soppy puppy with eyes full of love (pretty much how Alex has looked at him since 2008!). But judging by the lyrics of Star Treatment (which Alex started writing during EYCTE), Alex was aware their little bubble couldn’t last ‘here ain’t no place for dolls like you and me’, but Miles, having fallen hard thought they could keep it going.
Alex went off to France to record TBHC leaving Miles stranded in LA, friendless and a bit lost, meanwhile Alex went through a period of self-reflection and justifying to himself why he had let Miles down. Not all the songs on TBHC are related to Milex, Alex was influenced by a whole variety of things, but songs like Star Treatment, Golden Trunks, Batphone and The Ultracheese address their situation. The Ultracheese even ends ‘I done some things that I shouldn’t have done, but I haven’t stopped loving you once’. I see TBHC as Alex’s ‘excuse album’. Sorry I let you down Miles, but look what a big superstar I am with all these big responsibilities, but know I love you’
Miles on the other hand was angry and hurt and wanted to lash out. Coup de Grace is full of angst with thinly veiled digs at Alex (of course during the official promotion, Miles said it was about Hannah his ex but I do think mentioning Alex’s personal information in Killing the Joke is kind of telling). Wrong Side of Life is possibly one of the saddest and most desperate songs I have ever heard. And on Silverscreen, how do you explain Two Faced Johnny as being a woman?! The only hint at self-blame is on Too Little Too Late, with the lines ‘I’m too fickle set in my ways, I’m too little too late’ – which has echoes of Troubled Son. Personally, I think one of the reasons Alex possibly wanted to go back to how they were prior to EYCTE was because Miles had never committed before (see most of AM!) and it was a case of do the hurting before being hurt. But CDG ends with Shavambacu, which in an interview Miles said was about an ex and they used to call each other Shavambacu as a silly little name (cue footage of Miles calling Alex Shavambacu on stage). And the last line is ‘oh honey I love you’. Like TBHC, CDG ends with a declaration of love.
In between CDG and CTS we have the night at La Cigale (which I will write about in a different post) where I think their fall out came to a head, because not long after that, we have grainy footage of them hanging out in East London. At the same time Miles is writing Change The Show, and whilst the songs are still a bit angsty, there is a lot more pragmatism. See Ya When I See Ya stands out, and we have the ‘Johnny’ character again, but instead of being angry with Alex for his double life and secrets, Miles has resigned to himself he’ll always be there for him and keep his secrets for him. I think because they had reconciled to a degree, Miles realised they weren’t going anywhere, but it didn’t mean Alex didn’t annoy him. Final track Adios ta ra ta ra indicates exasperation at their constant battles, but there is still an air of resignation.
Part two tomorrow
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So I wanted to write a short post about Splinter's relationship with Donnie, but I realised I need to give it more context, so here we are. This is going to be an analysis on the similarities between Splinter and Donnie, and how those similarities affect their relationship.
Let's start with the easiest example, given to us in "Breaking purple":
(sorry for the bad quality gif)
Donnie, as we know, isn't good at understanding his own emotions and expressing them, and he's also not that good at understanding other's emotions. This video essay explains his low empathy really well.
Donnie doesn't know how to deal with emotions, so he does the next best thing - looks at adult example and copies it.
Splinter, while loving his sons and wanting the best for them, is objectively not the best father. He was thrown into fatherhood with no preparation after being imprisoned for over a decade and turning into a rat. He clearly has depression, has no friends, no support system, etc. And the only reference he has for parenting is his grandpa.
So similarity one, they're not good at dealing with emotions.
The second similarity is they're both bad at lying. And, more importantly, bad at noticing when they're being lied to:
(Arguably, you can say they were all too focused on trying to get away with their own lie, but I digress.)
Donnie needs to be said stuff directly. He's shown to not get sarcasm quite often:
And Splinter is shown multiple times to be quite unobservant:
Like, this gif is from when he grounds them, and he just accepts that those four flour sacks are his sons and moves on.
Which leads us to the third similarity, of them both missing obvious social cues. Donnie because of his social skills, and Splinter because he's unobservant.
There's more similarities, like their love of dancing for example, but the reason I gave those similarities is because I want to talk about their relationship.
Splinter, again, wasn't a very good father. He didn't know how to raise his children, but you can see he did make an effort. They all never hesitate to hug him, to call him Dad, and even when they find out Lou Jitsu is their biological father, they never doubt his role as their dad for a second. Which shows that even though he was neglectful, he did have a positive impact on their lives. They love him, and he loves them.
But, one line stood out to me the most, and that's this Donnie line:
Why? Because Splinter always looks extremely proud of his sons, and it sounds odd that he never told Donnie he's proud of him. And we know he desperately want to hear him say it:
So Splinter never told him he's proud of him, but he's also going to say it three times in this episode, only finishing the sentence once when Donnie isn't close enough to hear. Not only that, but the first instance is because Donnie made him a booster, which looks like a very minor thing, so he has no issue saying he's proud of them even because of the tiniest thing.
If so, then why is Donnie missing the verbal validation so much?
Splinter is not good with knowing when to express his feelings and how, and he's not really observant. Just like he never actually said he's proud of Donnie to Donnie's face in this episode, my guess he never said it to his face in the past too. Like, he tried, but he never actually finished the sentences when Donnie could hear, and he probably didn't even notice.
I'm also guessing he used acts to show how proud he is (for example, the fact he didn't hesitate to choose the Turtle Tank for the demolition derby shows how proud he is of Donnie's work), but because of Donnie's need to be told everything literally, he didn't feel the validation from him at all.
I feel like out of the four turtles, Donnie has the rockiest relationship with Splinter. He logs every interaction they have, doesn't immediately trust him when he offers to spend time together, gets mad at him the most often out of the four of them, etc. But you can also see he loves his dad, and he outright tells him this in "Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man":
Anyways, I'm just really passionate about showing Splinter isn't just an abusive uncaring father, and showing that the turtles know this.
(Just learned there's an "alt text" option for images so I just removed the image id and turned it into alt text instead.)
#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt analysis#rise donnie#rise donatello#rise splinter#this is my first post on this blog and I overthought it way too much it took me two days to finish writing this#save rottmnt#save rise of the tmnt#I really like these turtles#remi rants#accesible#alt text#remi analysis#rottmnt gifs
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Here's a prompt : tony being , as usual , a helicopter parent and peter getting irritated over it and they have a huge fight , peter tells tony "you are not my dad" and then they stop taling and you know , angst ensues. Cue a mission where tony protects peter while getting hurt in the process and peter calls tony dad and tony calls peter son and then some iron dad spiderson feels that we all love.
Thanx in advance !
Thank you for the prompt!
I give you: a stressed Peter is buried under mountains of school work. Tony is trying his best to help. If at first you don't succeed.. lock yourself in your lab and deal with it later.
Word count - 3925 words
***
Peter didn’t look up from the table when Tony walked in. His head was buried in a book and the other hand was scribbling notes onto a sheet of loose paper.
Tony slid a finger along the table, coming to stand next to him.
“Hello.”
Peter didn’t look up. His pen never stopped scratching on the paper. “Hi.”
Tony took a few small steps until he was stood right behind him, watching him write.
He gave a small chuckle. “Can you even read that? No offence but your handwriting is an atrocity.”
“I don’t have time to be neat,” he mumbled, still scribbling away. “This essay is due in two days and I haven’t even finished reading the book.”
“What is it you’re reading?” Tony made to pick up the book but Peter snatched it out of his reach before he could.
“Hey.”
Tony put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry.”
Peter finally looked up at him. His jaw was set. He looked unimpressed, definitely irritated and Tony had the feeling he was treading on thin ice. He could tell he hadn’t slept well the night before. Maybe a bad day at school too. Something was wrong.
“I’m really busy,” Peter said. “This is, like, essay number seven this week. Do you need something?”
Tony took a risk and settled sideways into the chair next to him, still facing him.
“No, no. Nothing. Just wanted to check on my boy, that’s all.”
“Well, he is fine.”
He didn’t look it but Tony played along anyway. “Good. And.. if I’m honest, I’m a little bored. You mind if I hang here for a bit?”
Peter waved a hand, turning back to his work. “It’s your table.”
Tony searched his brain for something that could be wrong. Sleep, that was number one. But it was a busy time at school so that made sense, he knew the poor kid had a mountain of homework. That would also explain his coldness; being tired made Peter a little grumpy, they all knew that by now.
“Right. I’ll just.. sit here.” Tony shifted his chair closer to the table and slid his phone out of his pocket. Maybe he could respond to some emails or messages or something. “And I’ll be quiet,” he added. “I promise.”
Peter merely hummed in acknowledgment.
He was quiet.. for a while. Everything was quiet besides the scratching of Peter’s pen on the paper and the occasional rustle of the page in his book being turned. Tony was restless but he tried not to show it. He stopped himself from fidgeting and sat as still as he could beside him. He couldn’t focus on anything, all of the emails were boring and all of his unanswered messages equally as uninteresting. All he really wanted to do was talk to Peter and find out what was wrong and how concerned he should be. He knew he had a tendency to overdo it when it came to his concern but that was neither here nor there.
Tony huffed and put his phone face down on the table. He had had enough of looking through his emails. He leant forward on his elbows and tilted his head, watching Peter. His tongue was poking out from the side of his mouth and his eyebrows were pinched in concentration.
“Why are you smiling at me like that?” Peter asked without looking up.
“‘Cos your concentration face is adorable.”
“I am not adorable.”
Tony laughed. “You so are.”
Peter made an exasperated noise. “I thought you said you were being quiet.”
“I’m bored.”
“And I’m busy.”
“You don’t want to come to the lab for a bit? Take a break?”
“No. And I really need to concentrate. I’m serious.”
“Okay..” He clicked his tongue. “Serious.. Got it. Serious. I can do serious. I’m great at serious. I’m a professiona -“
“Mr Stark.”
Ouch. They’d finally got him to stop calling him that. Had he really pissed him off that much?
“Sorry. I did promise, didn’t I?”
Peter lifted an eyebrow, looking terribly unimpressed. “You did.”
“Commencing the ‘quiet protocol’ now.” Tony drew his hand across his mouth, miming closing it like a zip. Peter didn’t laugh and turned back to his work.
The room was silent again, Tony just as fidgety as before. Maybe he should just leave, take himself to the lab and be alone. But thing was, he didn’t want to be alone. He felt like a little puppy, desperate for attention and all he was getting here was the grumpiest of receptions possible. But most of all, Tony just wanted to know that Peter was okay but he had a feeling that any conversations concerning feelings wouldn’t go over well. At least he could try handle the simpler parts of taking care of him.
Tony stood without another word and made his way into the kitchen. Food and water - the most basic of human needs. Essential to keeping a stressed teenager happy and healthy. Right?
He thought he did a pretty good job of it actually. A few minutes later, he was walking back to the table with a glass of water with ice and a plate which was arranged quite impressively with an assortment of fruits, vegetables and Peter’s favourite sweet snacks.
He set them both down in front of him and with his now-free hand he brushed a hand over the curls on the back of Peter’s head which was bent low over his work. He’d made good progress on his book, Tony noticed. His pen stilled for a second and he looked up to eye the plate of food before looking up at Tony who slid back into the chair beside him.
“Thank you,” he said earnestly.
In the interest of being quiet, Tony didn’t respond, only gave him the fondest of smiles he reserved only for him.
He went back to his emails. Peter went back to his work. He didn’t touch the food. He scribbled and scribbled and scribbled until the page was full and then he turned it over and scribbled some more until that was full too. He neared the end of the book and then on the final page, he slammed it shut and thrust it away from himself like he couldn't stand to look at the thing anymore.
Tony watched silently as Peter put his elbows on the table and thread his hands into his hair, squeezing just tight enough that Tony almost said something but he held his tongue. He was supposed to be being quiet.
He almost jumped when Peter suddenly shot up from his chair, hastily grabbed all of his things and stomped down the hall and into his room. Tony heard the door slam from where he was sat, stunned.
He sat for a few minutes wondering if it was something he’d done that had tipped him over the edge. Absentmindedly, he grabbed a carrot stick from the untouched plate of food and nibbled on it while he thought over the puzzling matter. Teenagers.
He decided to leave him alone for the next few hours. He was sure he’d come to him if he needed anything or if he thought Tony might be able to help him. Maybe Tony wasn’t the best at writing essays about books but he’d give it his best go if it meant he could take some of his stress away even if he was only there to offer suggestions.
Later that evening, Peter still hadn’t made a reappearance and Tony stopped ignoring the parts of himself that were telling him to worry about his Spider-Kid.
“Pete?” He knocked gently on his door.
“Mmhm,” he heard from inside. Tony cracked the door open.
He was now typing on his laptop frantically, his notes spread out across the desk in front of him. Never did Tony think if he was ever the one to be raising a kid he’d have to tell them to stop doing homework.
“Kiddo, why don’t you take a break? You’ve been at this for hours.”
“Because I need to get this out of the way so I can get on with everything else. I still haven’t started my maths or biology or history or -“
“I get it, you’ve got a lot on. But you still need to look after you. You aren’t going to be doing your best work if you’re this stressed out.”
Peter’s head snapped up and Tony worried that he’d said the wrong thing.
“Just come and have something to eat. Take five. It’ll do a world of good, trust me.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Peter.” He was always hungry. Growing teenager mixed with a super spider metabolism? He was lying through his teeth.
“I’m not. I’m fine. I’ll come get something when I’m done.”
“How much have you written?”
He glanced back at the laptop. “Three hundred words.”
“How many do you need?”
Peter mumbled a number Tony didn’t catch but the reddening of his cheeks told Tony it was quite a lot more than three hundred.
“Well, I’m sure you can smash them out after you’ve had something to eat.”
“I told you already, I’m not hungry.”
Okay, attitude. Tony raised his hands in a show of peace. “Okay, okay. I’m just trying to help here. I’m just looking out for you.”
“Well, quit it! I don’t have time for this.”
Tony raised a disapproving eyebrow. “I don’t think there’s any need for that tone.”
Peter shot him an incredulous look which then turned swiftly into a scowl. “I don’t think there’s any need for this conversation.”
Tony tried another tactic. He softened his gaze and his tone. “Come on, Pete. You know you can talk to me if there is something bothering yo-”
“Oh, my god! Would you just leave me alone? You’re bothering me!” Peter’s fist were clenched tight, Tony saw them balled on the desk. “You're not my dad!”
Tony was an expert at hiding his emotions. So when his heart took a blow like that, he was perfectly adept at containing the agony so it didn’t show on his face. He just took it.
He nodded slowly, pursing his lips. “Okay, kiddo,” he said softly. “I’ll leave you alone. You can come find me if you need anything.” He left quickly, shutting the door behind him.
It hurt. A lot. Peter wasn’t his biologically but that hadn’t ever mattered to him. Tony loved him like he was his flesh and blood and he’d always thought the feeling was mutual. Maybe he had been wrong all along.
Tony did what he did best when something unpleasant happened - he hid in his lab and tried to forget for a while by tinkering until the callouses on his hands were either bright red or leaking blood. He stayed down there for hours and didn’t sleep for a minute that night. He was too upset to do anything else. The thought of having to face going back upstairs was so uncomfortable that he willed himself to believe for a few hours that he could spend the rest of his life down there.
Peter didn’t want to talk, that was blatantly obvious and Tony wasn’t too fond of the idea of having to leave the comfort of his lab and so he remained there until the sun rose and then remained for a few hours after that.
Peter had already left for school by the time Tony found the courage to venture back upstairs. FRIDAY informed him that he hadn’t been the only one that had spent the entire night awake.
He sat with his coffee for a while, wondering what the next possible step he should take was. Did he acknowledge what had happened or just let it go? Could he let it go? Should he wait for Peter bring it up? Would he? Man, there was a lot to think about. Teenagers.
He sat ruminating and trying to come up with a plan of action until he received a notification on his phone. It was an emergency alert. Iron Man was needed.
Call him selfish but he was almost grateful for whatever force was causing issues in New York that day as it gave him something to do and provided the perfect distraction.
Unfortunately for him, only a little while after they’d begun fighting, a little red and blue flash in the corner of his eye said he wouldn’t be forgetting about the kid anytime soon.
“I thought you were supposed to be in school, kid.” Tony couldn’t help it, it just slipped out.
He was met with no response.
“Spider-Man! You’re on civilian evacuation,” Cap said over the comms.
“Roger that, Captain,” Peter mumbled dejectedly.
Tony flew past Clint who paused for a moment, having also picked up on the teens melancholy and he shot Tony a look before pulling out an arrow and firing it at one of the goons on the ground. Tony touched down next to him, the faceplate retracting, and muted the comms.
“We fought,” he told the archer without preamble. He was a dad, he could give him advice. “Any tips?”
Clint laughed, reaching up to mute his comm too. “Tips on dealing with moody teenagers? Nah, you’re on your own, I haven’t got a clue. But please, if you manage to figure it out, let me know.”
Tony grumbled under his breath and shot off again, dodging a blast from one of the high tech weapons they were trying to neutralise. Tony found the target, aimed and stunned him before he could try it again.
He flew down beside him, ready to grab the weapon and take it back to the jet. Another flash of red caught his eye and he looked up to see Peter swinging with a woman in his arms, carrying her to safety.
Tony took care of the weapon and then flew back to the centre of the chaos. He couldn’t help watching Peter whenever he was within range, it was engrained In him to make sure he was safe at all times. It also meant that he wasn’t able to commit much attention to his surroundings and so he was a little sloppier than usual. He wasn't the only one who noticed but thankfully Clint stuck up for him when Cap questioned it.
“Karen says all the civilians are clear of the immediate area.”
“Great job,” Steve replied. “You can wait for us at the jet if you want.”
“I can help.”
“We’re almost done here anyway. Seriously, take five. You’ve done your part and you’ve done a good job.” Tony was thankful Steve took the lead of benching him before Tony had to. He had the feeling that would have caused quite the scene given the current state of affairs.
Peter appeared on the edge of a rooftop, crouching with his hands between his legs in one of his signature poses. Tony cracked a smile at the sight. No matter what had happened he would never stop loving his kid and his spidery ways.
Guns fired and Tony had to tear his eyes away, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand. He couldn’t for long because Peter jumped and swung down, throwing himself directly into the battlefield.
Tony grumbled internally but chose to hold his tongue. He was being oddly quiet but anything else he was sure would just end in arguments and no one wanted that.
Tony watched him snatch a gun from the hands of one of the enemy with a web and webbed it up out of he way. The man himself was next and before he could move, he was struggling against the restraints that had him firmly secured to the lamp post behind him.
Two goons saw Spider-Man take down their friend and yelled - with more fury than Tony thought Peter deserved to have directed at him - and aimed up at the web-slinger. Clearly these guys had some hard feelings after the ferry incident.
Tony saw it happening and felt himself moving before he’d actively chosen to do so. There were two blasts of light, one that Peter dodged easily and the other that wasn’t so simple and would have hit him square in the chest if Tony hadn’t thrown himself in front of him.
He didn’t feel the impact. He didn’t feel anything. Just saw the light fading. He never felt himself hit the concrete. The only thing he remembered was hearing a scream that hadn’t come from him.
***
“.. Up! Wake up! Please! Oh, god, please! Wake up!”
Inside his metal tomb, which was as unresponsive as he was, Tony felt the jostling movements as someone above him tried to frantically shake him awake.
“God! Tony, please! Say something!”
They were becoming louder and more desperate. Tony wanted to reassure them, like a primal urge to keep them safe and happy was stirring inside of him, but he couldn’t move his mouth. His eyes were still closed - he had to get them to open first of all.
“Oh, my god. Oh, my god. No. Wake up. Please!”
I’m trying, he wanted to say. I’m okay. I’m awake. He couldn’t speak.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! God, I’m so so sorry! Please, Tony, please,” Peter begged.
It was all he needed to try and wake himself up, hearing the hysteria creeping into Peter’s words. Tony blinked his eyes open. The inside of his suit was dark apart from the small blinking light at the edge of his vision which was his back up power. He’d be able to get out of the suit, thank goodness for that. If he could just figure out how to move..
“Karen? K-Karen, is he.. is he dead? Please, just tell me if he’s dead, just say it. Just say it now. Just tell me.”
Oh, god.
The faceplate flicked open and Tony found himself looking up at a very distressed Peter. His mask was off and they were in a secluded alley not where he remembered being last time he was conscious. Peter must have dragged the suit out of the chaos. The poor kid was white as a sheet and his eyes were frantic. They found his.
“Not dead,” Tony managed to say in a rasping wheeze.
“Tony!”
Peter flung himself down over the top of him, hugging the suit and holding on as if his life depended on it. The impact jostled him and he became aware of a burning sensation in his chest. He held in his gasp for Peter’s sake.
“Oh, my god, Tony! I thought you were dead! You fell! You - you..”
“Shh, hey, shh. Give.. give me a second to figure out if I am actually alive. I’d hate to.. to give you false hope.” Talking hurt.
Peter leaned back, sitting on his heels but keeping one hand on the chest plate of Tony’s suit. His other hand went to his comm. “Karen?” A pause. Peter’s wide eyes looked him over. “She says.. she says you might be concussed. And.. and - god - your ribs. Broken.”
“Mmhm. Feel that,” Tony groaned.
“You’re.. you’re bleeding too.”
“Huh. Where?”
“You’re head.”
“Well, she did say concussion. Doesn’t miss a trick, does she?”
Peter’s lip was wobbling. Tony had the absurd urge to laugh. There was nothing funny about this but everything was suddenly hysterical. He worked with all of his strength to keep it in.
“Why are you smiling?” Peter sniffed.
“Because you are adorable.”
“Stop it. I am not.” He sniffed again.
“You never believe me when I say that but I promise you, I’m right.”
Peter shook his head, keeping his lips pressed firmly together which only proved Tony’s point further.
“Come on, kiddo, help me out of this thing so I can give you a hug.”
They had to work together to get him out of the suit. The more Tony moved, the more he realised how much everything hurt. He winced with every inch they sat him upright. Peter kept him steady with a hand on his back, his super strength bearing most of Tony’s weight.
When he was upright, Peter didn’t go in a for a hug. Tony felt a trickle of blood down the side of his face. For a split second, he wondered if Peter was still just as upset as he had been the previous night - if he was still bothering him. But one look at his face told Tony that wasn’t true.
“You jumped in front of me,” he whispered. There were tears in his eyes.
“My suit’s better.”
“You’re hurt.”
“You could have died.”
Peter squeezed his eyes closed. “You can’t.. you can’t do that. I thought..” His inhaled sharply. “I thought you were dead and I thought the last thing I said to you was.. was..” Peter gave an awful sob.
“Oh, kiddo. Come here.”
He wrapped his arms around Peter who dissolved immediately into a blubbering mess.
“I didn’t mean it, I swear! It wasn’t true! I didn’t mean it!”
Tony suddenly felt like an idiot for ever believing those words. How had he ever been stupid enough to think for a second that Peter could have possibly meant them? If he loved Tony only half as much as he loved Peter, then that would still be an enormous amount. He didn’t know how these things - matters of the heart - worked, not really, but he knew one thing and that was that his kid was his, blood or not.
“I know, kiddo. I know.”
“I’m so so sorry!”
His hand was in his hair, Peter’s face pressed against his shoulder and spreading snot and tears and all things gross all over him. Tony didn’t mind one bit - he himself was leaking blood all over the place too.
“You don't have anything to be sorry for.”
It didn’t calm him down. In fact, Peter made a miserable sound somewhere between a sob and a moan and shook harder.
“I’m sorry! Please, dad. I’m so so sorry!”
Tony froze. He’d never said that before. Never. Not once. Tony never thought he would given how long it took for him to be comfortable even saying ‘Tony’. He’d practically had to beg him.
Ribs twinging, heart bursting, Tony turned his head so he could plant a kiss on the top of Peter’s head.
“There is no need for apologies. I know you didn’t mean it.” Tony sighed contentedly. “My son. My boy. I love you.”
Peter nodded frantically, still sniffling. “I love you too.”
“I know you’ve been stressed out lately. How about when we get home and I get myself patched up we have a talk about whatever’s really bothering you? Come up with a solution. Sound good?”
“Yeah..”
“Good.” He squeezed him, repressing his wince as he did so. “Good.”
Footsteps came crashing along the street towards them as Steve came running into the alley. “Tony! I got here as soon as I could, we just got everything cleaned up. Are you okay!?”
He looked at his son and smiled. “Perfect, Cap. Everything’s perfect.” Peter smiled back. Everything was truly wonderful.
Peter looked up Steve. “He’s lying,” he said, “his ribs are far from perfect.”
Tony groaned. “Thanks for the reminder, kid. I had just about forgotten.”
“We’ll get you patched up in the jet,” Steve said, relaxing when he saw his friend was relatively okay.
“Get me some ice for my ribs, Capsicle, would you? I know how much you love ice.”
Peter’s laugh was his favourite sound in the whole world.
The end.
#fanfic#irondad and spiderson#spider-man#irondad#marvel#iron man#marvel mcu#peter parker#light angst#angst#angst with a happy ending#all their problems would be solved if they weren't so emotionally constipated#marvel fic#avengers#marvel cinematic universe#spiderson
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pasting a ramble i did on discord of analysis/conjecture/headcanons about liko's home life/upbringing, with strong likodot flavor in the latter half as usual, nearly verbatim because i think i worded it pretty much perfectly the first time while relaying my thoughts to friends... just edited for easier reading slightly
liko doesn’t canonically show attachment issues or abandonment worries really, but i headcanon her with some of that because like. parents busy all the time. not a lot of people in her life and the ones that are, aka mainly her caretakers (she's implied to not really have friends at the start of the show) don’t communicate with her great or are sometimes unavailable for stretches of time.
it makes a lot of sense to me that canonically the brave asagi feels like home so quickly to her. because it’s stable. the same people are always there, she literally lives with them on an airship. but like. they're stable adult figures that aren’t disappearing for periods of time, and friede’s forgetfulness aside (lighthearted), people who communicate with her better. this does wonders for her bdjdjdsk
i also think her selflessness to point of fault could tie in with this, like blaming herself for situations and shrugging off her own feelings (she often doesn’t even notice when she herself is upset/moody on multiple occasions!!) could have been a habit developed from this very thing. she loves her parents and doesn’t want to have to view them as absent or being poor at communication so everything is her fault. she doesn’t want to be pointing blame or to cause problems when people are home or things are good so she dissociates away her own feelings and is very polite and considerate of anything that comes up.
i say all this because i think it’d be an interesting way to spin liko’s character who is already interesting. but also i got to thinking about this manifesting in her relationship with dot down the line. cause like adult figures are one thing but also friends and hell having a girlfriend is kind of different. and dot does actually get busy sometimes because she is still working as gurumin on top of schoolwork (this is headcanons for vaguely what a couple years from now as of HZ053 at the time of writing might look like or something. dot going to more normal schooling similar to how liko has been, on top of still being gurumin)
this starts sparking anxiety in liko but first she shoves it down and acts like it’s fine. and then it starts slipping through the cracks. cue comedy of her being like WHY AM I THINKING CRAZY THINGS LIKE “I WANT TO INTERRUPT GURUMIN VIDEO EDITING TO HANG OUT WHO HAVE I BECOME WHAT SORT OF GURUMIN FAN AM I AHHHH also i don't want to be clingy to dot she likes her independent space...”
still, her response is to be like no it's fine, i have to be fine with this, i'm just acting crazy, dot has literally never done anything to warrant me feeling like this, i am being a bad girlfriend. and dot notices this in her demeanor and is like hey what's wrong? and liko’s like What!
anyway they talk it out and come to some sort of middle ground where of course dot still needs to be alone sometimes either to focus or to just have alone time in general. she’s not gonna let liko derail into a worsening spiral of clinginess. but! she is going to reassure her that it’s fine!
and also cue liko sometimes being able to hang out quietly in her room doing her own thing like lying in dot’s bed on her phone while dot video edits... also way more self indulgent, extremely “this is so not canon but i am a shipper let me live” imagery: dot managing her gurumin socials on her phone in her bed with one hand and liko lying on her bed partially on her lap like a lapcat while dot pets her hair with the other hand. in this essay i will
thanks for coming to my ted talk i've been rotating this in my brain for weeks
#likodot#dotliko#guruminshipping#horizons#kiki was here#kiki.txt#i have many more thoughts on the brain but i wanted to get this specific one out first#also im tagging it bc I FEEL VERY STRONGLY..
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weird/bad interactions always remind me about the good things. feeling very sentimental under the cut <3
housekeeping
The gist of this is that I'm very grateful every day my first encounters with hockey on here were primarily with kraken lb and sharks lb. You can stop here if you aren't in the mood for an essay LOL
I'm thankful in general for everyone who has ever welcomed me into their hockey spaces for giving me role models to emulate. I feel especially thankful after such a strange, off-putting experience in a new tag just now.
On the off-chance you're the person who took a screenshot of my post to tell me to leave your space and you're reading this: thanks for the chat, no hard feelings and no grudges held. If you're one of the people who uncritically reblogged that post... I can't tell you what to do with your blog but dog piling is a pretty good way to bully people and drive new fans, artists and gifmakers away from your community.
I'm not here to guilt people into being friends with me. and honestly, I don't want friends who would do that. I sincerely hope you grow and the next new fan you encounter gets a warmer welcome than I did. I know most people in the tag aren't like that, but I think I'll shelf that team for now. (my quest to fall in love with 32 teams carries on!)
Anyway, I get pretty mushy about my friends and communities semi-regularly on here so it’s not anything people haven’t heard before, but it’s MY blog and I get to write love letters to my teams and their communities if i want!!!!!
kraken
I take my cues from the way people in this tag treated me. The warm welcome is something I'll always think about, no matter how my relationship to the team and the community at large evolves over time. Sparking my interest in writing again, making new friends, and learning about The Beautiful Game was such a highlight during my summer last year. I am very very tender about this team and community. It’s hard to talk about them sometimes because it’s like… my feelings are so big <3 they are eating me like a soup dumpling. my head is being ripped off and my soupy insides are being sipped <- don’t know where i’m going with that....!
I confess I often feel overwhelmed and lost in the hockey tumblr space as someone who doesn’t participate in shipping/rpf and isn’t attracted to men, but I’ve never felt like people wanted me out because of it. Thank you for accepting me, and accepting the way I love this team and sport.
sharks
Tiny but mighty!! the kraken crossover likely contributed a lot to this, but I've met such amazing people in this tag. We may have different/conflicting opinions about non-sharks teams but we are united in our love for this flop train and my life is enriched by it. Would not commit to a months long research project with any other people ! Mwah <3
There's a whole iceberg's worth of things to say here. I'm trying to keep it short otherwise it would be like.... a whole post of its own LMAO.... i should definitely write a puck-mortem on the primer work one day.
But to give anyone reading this an example: I still think about a sharks writing prompt challenge where the organiser went out of the way to include non-shipping/nonfiction works in their list of acceptable submissions. I won't name or @ anyone in this because that's sooo embarrassing aslkjasdkljdjkl but. we exchanged a few messages about it, and learning that they did that specifically to make sure people like me were included genuinely made me tear up.
I love u sharkudablr <33
kings
Somehow even smaller. Many of us don't have LAK as our primaries, and honestly why would we? The community tinyyy... and only recently we're coming back to life it seems. I really can count on two hands every active kings blog I've met and interacted with. But I value every 6 note post so much <3 also we may be very funny for real actually. incredible memes and collective sense of humour. The memes and gifs and photo edits + reposts are so important to me .
I love our kings, our little family, our little liveblog tag. The way I follow LA is unlike how I follow any other team. they really are my eldest daughter, in that I am holding them to SUCH high standards. Perhaps because out of all my teams their fate seems the most uncertain? Are we on the verge of collapse ? are we cup contenders? are we ever gonna escape the round 1 time loop? <3
I hope one day we're as big and warm as my other beloved team tags. I think we're on our way :)
golden knights
another small but close community. I'm so grateful I saw Adin Hill go ultra instinct and got interested in this team <3 aside from saving me a bit of heartbreak during the trade deadline, I've met amazing new people.
Also, loving this team makes for a great litmus test + rent lowering shots. To be loud about enjoying this team is to filter unserious people out of my tumblr experience <3 Those who were wishing injury on m.stone in particular and those who were uncritically repeating conspiracy theories, thanks for exposing yourself during playoffs. Those who are in the tags of my vgk gifs saying how much you hate this team, thanks for exposing yourselves. I do not go out of my way to be spiteful on here, I think it really does no good. but I fear I don't want to sit with you at lunch if you are doin all that!!
what's really special to me is how our community is small and safe. it is the safest I've felt in a hockey community. I am so happy our discord is place I can go to without fear of seeing one of my other teams/players randomly smeared, I love that it was started with the express intention to avoid simply repeating the unfiltered hatred we experience in other spaces. building with purpose, choosing to be kind... i think that's also something I want to take and run with in my own community building efforts. thanks for being bold enough to be different <3
caps
Quickly rising up from babygirl-in-laws (hi Lucky!!) to BELOVEDS. I think the Dubois trade might be one of those inflection points they talk about in sci-fi movies where they gotta time travel and change the future :) I was already sort of eyeing this team and had a few friends/mutuals who followed them, but the incredible caps fans who have reached out to me to share their love of their team really sold me.
I love talking hockey with everyone I've met. I love the goofy vibes. i love the essays in my inbox. I love that people read the essays i write back. <3 When a link to a video didn't work for me (required a log in) a caps fan simply screen recorded it and posted it. When I asked about the power play I got completely serious hockeypilled answers <3
There is something to love about every team, but I'm finding a huge part of loving them, at least for me, is the people you love them with.
everyone else
If i haven't mentioned a team I like or people I've interacted with it's because there are too many to recall in one go and this post has gotten a lot longer than I originally intended <3 trust that I think of you warmly and often. every person who has ever sent me an encouraging word, discoursed with me about the game and the narratives, and every note on my silly gifs and art - appreciate you more than I can express. you all make being on here such a cool experience.
I hope i love hockey for a long time and keep meeting new people <3
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Hi I have come here to complain as well, because I recently had a friend ask me who my favorite character in Demon Slayer was. And I said Tengen and was about to say why, when they looked at me and said ‘you mean the perv, who’s whole thing is just being flashy.’ Or something along those lines.
And I forget that people don’t spend the time to hyper analyze characters, or even try and see anything that goes even slightly beneath the surface of black and white text. If it’s not spelled out for people, they see it as a flaw or bad writing.
Like I could write a whole essay on how Tengen looked after the three during the entertainment district, how he acted like a father to the three boys. How much he looks up to Kagaya and the role the master has played in his life. How much he adores his wives much more than any basic surface level ‘he’s a pervert’ stereotype. Don’t get me started on Zenitsu or Rengoku either (even Tanjiro in some aspects).
It’s not just even in Demon slayer. I won’t go into everything as I know you aren’t a part of the fandom but it drives me crazy how people will look surface level at a character and say that they have no depth to them. Recently I was told that “How can you actually like xxx he’s literally nothing more than a cardboard cut out?” Which couldn’t be farther from the truth. And it’s like, people don’t actually stop and study what they are reading. Selectively mute characters? Characters with disabilities, who don’t fit into the world around them for a reason. ‘Oh well they just have zero personality.’ ‘They’re just a reader insert-‘ No, no they’re not!
Actually take the time and notice like you said the small characteristics that make up a character. They still end up with relationships, friends and family. Gosh don't get me started on how people can never tell the difference between paternal/familiar relationships and romantic ones (though that may be more of a me thing tbh)
Sorry I am just ranting now, this has been bothering me for days
Bro literally!
Something I’ve noticed in KNY is that if a characters main flaw is more prevalent they get shamed for it but if they have the same/similar flaw but it’s not a the center of attention they get praised!
I could also go into an entire thing about how boy and girl parallels for bad traits; the boys get shamed while the girls are seen as powerful for it. Honestly I might because it irritates me lol.
Tengen, Zenitsu, Douma, and Genya at the top of my head show different aspects of sexuality (not sure if that’s the word I want to use, sorry if it doesn’t make sense) but because they do it in a way that’s not conventional to a neurotypical person that hasn’t undergone trauma; they are made to be gross when they do something even slightly flirty.
So like I totally get what you mean by getting annoyed at your friend for saying that about Tengen! Rightfully so, I would be too.
These people who just shit on characters whose flaws are easier to see than others because they either
1: haven’t read the manga/databooks/novels and are just blindly following what everyone else says about them
Or
2: they haven’t got an ounce of reading comprehension to look past a well written character
Amazing point about disabilities! KNY is very much autistic coded, like I could give full explanations about every (main) character and how they are autistic with good backing behind it too.
Which this is a huge reason why many people call Zenitsu a pervert/creep! Because they just see him cling onto a girl and totally ignore the fact that he doesn’t understand social boundaries/cues, and since they can’t see this they label him anything gross!
And gosh the people screaming zero personality are the worst. It was really bad with Giyuu when it was only first season animated. Obanai too (which to be fair he is poorly written and thrown to the side, so a lot of him comes off to be very bland) or Kanao is another good example! They get compared to wet rags and I just like scratch my head in confusion.
Characteristics are the main selling point of KNY too! Like these small details hidden in their breathing styles, their mannerisms, their designs, and even the way they interact with others! It all corresponds to other aspects of their character (which is actually the main reason I don’t like a lot of redesigns lol!)
DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED! I actually briefly mentioned this but imma talk about a thing that happened on tiktok like yesterday lol
So I was explaining how ObaTen see each other as brothers and all the subtext behind that (if someone wants me to explain that I will absolutely make a post about it)
And someone comes up and mentions Inosuke, Tanjiro, and Zenitsu saying they are like brothers (my display has InoTanZen in it) so I explain how characters actually see each other as family is different from martial arts brotherhood.
Would you like to know what they responded with? “That means the Uzui’s are all family because they fight alongside each other���
My jaw hit the floor. And then I told them, kinda rudely but I don’t care honestly, that martial arts brotherhood isn’t actually seeing each other as family. It’s just gaining a stronger bond from fighting together for long enough. And that the Hashira normally fight solo so a lot of them, aside from Obanai and Sanemi, have this bond. Meaning that no, you cannot use the same example because it doesn’t match.
Also the core value of KNY is family, I don’t understand why it’s so hard to grasp that a lot of characters see each other as family lmao
That ain’t a you thing, I made a whole tiktok about it and people STILL argue with me. It’s wild. Something I’ve noticed too is it’s always the hardcore shippers that can’t understand the differences because they aren’t used to media where there’s a lot of family bonds/ties. Like the correlation for the two is spot on
No don’t apologize! I’ve needed someone to rant to! I’m sure my friends are absolutely sick of hearing it lol!
Honestly I might make an entire post explaining how the female characters are praised for their flaws while the male characters are shamed. It does have some touchy subject tho… hm
#demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#anime#fandumb#fandom rant#i am starting to hate being in fandoms because of this#media illiteracy#honestly starting to hate the shipping side of the fandom because of this as well
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@lightyearssurrogatedaddy i saw your tags lol. cue incoming characterization essay because i dont want to do my homework:
I've actually attributed the sunk-cost fallacy to Error's mindset on multiple occasions, and it's something I'm going to be referencing in my writing when it comes up.
The sunk-cost fallacy is the core principle in regards to Error's character and why he does the things he does in TCOTI. You have this character (error) who has spent his entire life dedicated to an impossible goal: complete annihilation. At first it didn't really seem to matter whether or not it was pheasable - it was just something he felt that needed to happen. He made it his life's goal, he became the villian of the entire multiverse to see his plan through for what he thought would right the mess and clutter of a chaotic world that shouldn't have even existed. Of course, it's a stupid plan, and he has that plan because he's literally insane. Error's spent an untold amount of time in a white void, both his mind and body warping to an unrecognizable degree. His view of the world is skewed, and he sees things different than others - while being stubborn and refusing to listen to anyone's thoughts but himself.
My story (but you can apply this to potentially any story involving Error because I personally feel like it's on par with his character) takes place at least a century in the future. Time does not matter to world-walking immortals. He is no closer to his goal than when he first started. Why would he? Error is essentially trying to stop an immutable force of nature - the deviance of timelines and branching pathways of the multiverse. (And if we're taking the canon route in regards to creators, then he's attempting to stop people from creating.) It's a completely impossible task. Universes are created at a much quicker rate than he can destroy them.
Even in a hypothetical situation where he achieves his goal and nothing but the original universe remains, it's going to branch off again eventually. His goal of "killing everything and then himself" would never last because once he's gone, there won't be anyone else left to "take out the trash" that will once again branch off and spread through the entire multiverse. Not that it's ever even gotten to that point though.
And like a said - He's crazy. These aren't really concerns of his, nor is he following sound logic or reason to his plan. But while he is crazy, he is not stupid.
How long do you think it would take him before he realizes he isn't getting anywhere? That everything he destroys just ends up replacing itself in one form or another? My story is a hypothetical century later. He may be able to stall the growth by killing off a main universe, or potentially backtracking the progress, but it's not the same as permanently making a dent in the net growth. And perhaps he's eased himself into that routine, into being content with just keeping things at an even level of creation and destruction. But it's not the goal he has centered his entire existence around- and eventually in the very subconscious of his mind, after an uncountable amount of time doing the same thing his whole life -running on a treadmill towards nowhere - does he begin to wonder why he's still doing this.
It wouldn't even register to him as a fully formed thought. It would be a nagging feeling in his gut, a general unease. It would take him years to even recognize that something is wrong, to try and think about things that go against his ideology and his reason to be, as stubborn and narcissistic as he is. But eventually it surfaces as a fully formed thought:
Why is he still doing this?
He had a reason back then, but it's going no where. It's been ages. decades. Almost nothing has changed.
But the simple fact is, he can never really answer that thought. Because he has been on this path for so long, there is nothing else left for him outside of it.
Sunk-cost fallacy.
If he stops, if he tries to seek out an alternate path, than what was EVERYTHING he worked for for YEARS and YEARS even for?? He went through so much pain, he's isolated from the rest of the multiverse as a villain, he has solidified his place in the world. If he ever stopped, it would be admitting to himself that every second of his long existence so far has been a waste. That he has done nothing with himself, and that he worked for nothing but the insane whims of a corrupted mind, towards an unachievable goal.
The world continues to move on. The multiverse continues to grow and change. And he remains, destroying, and convincing himself that he's fine with forever keeping balence.
Because what else does he have left?
And the question he doesn't even think to consider: What of the future?
#error sans#loreltxt#i love going on long unhinged rants about my favorite Guys#feel free to disagree with me lol its just my personal interpretation#because like i said#hes not stupid#i dont think he could just do the same thing forever#he'd hit a breaking point eventually#because he has depth of emotions to him - he's not one demensional. he's a complicated character#if he was a one dimensional caracature of destruction i wouldnt be writing this analysis#but yeah#hes stubborn so an extreme version of the sunk-cost fallacy would be his mental downfall#his acknowledgement that something is wrong but he's too big a manbaby to ever admit it to himself#which is where ink comes in#i can write an entirely separate essay on that#anyway enjoj#utmv#undertale multiverse
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🦇 for all of vbs maybe i'm very curious to see your opinions on this (@incorrect-queer-prosekai)
🦇 - would i rather this character be a vampire or a werewolf?
alright this is one of those times where before i say anything i need to clarify: i was a twilight fan when i was 12/13 and that has probably permanently affected my brain. also, i was team edward all the way so i may be a little bit biased, i will try not to be.
(me about to write this like an essay where you have to show both viewpoints /hj)
this got kind of long so actual opinions under the cut
kohane
on the one hand kohane loves animals which points to werewolf
on the other hand she has a really strong bond with count pearl, and snakes and vampires are similar in a way
also imagine her being drawn to an at the beginning of the main story bc her blood smells extra nice (like edward being drawn to bella in twilight (i am so sorry))
but also ofc vampires need blood to live and kohane would hate having to drink a living creature’s blood
yk how donated blood can only be kept for a certain amount of time before it has to get thrown out? kohane would steal the blood that won’t otherwise be used. it’s awful it’s like drinking stale milk but it’s enough to keep her going
her friends offer for her to have their blood consensually but she says no. this one time minori is so determined to help so she trips on purpose and is like oh no look at all this blood that i don’t need going to waste. if only there were a vampire here to put it to good use
why has this just become vampire!kohane hcs
YOU CAN SEE MY BIAS NOW CAN’T YOU
an
to keep this balanced, i’m going to go with werewolf an
werewolf!an and vampire!akito works super well in my head bc on the one hand an would scare akito on purpose but on the other hand an would be warm all the time and akito would be cold all the time so they would huddle for temperature regulation. (ofc this works for toya and kohane too but they’re happy to cuddle just to cuddle without the false pretences.)
an in her werewolf form knocks things off tables with her tail by mistake. all the time.
an moves in her sleep hc but worse. sometimes she turns into a werewolf in her sleep and doesn’t realise bc she wakes up human. she only realises bc when she wakes up her pillows and blankets and anything on her bedside table are all on the floor.
akito
akito’s is tricky because the thing is i can see both sides
on the one hand there’s something so funny about akito being afraid of dogs and then turning out to be a werewolf. but on the other hand him being afraid of dogs makes so much sense if he’s a vampire
he gets very little sleep (vampire coded) but he naps whenever he can (werewolf coded)
always cold (vampire) but consider him preferring being in his wolf form during the winter because his fur makes him warmer
vampire akito hating needing to rely on others to live (for their blood). werewolf akito hating needing to rely on others to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself or anyone else during a full moon
toya
i was torn on toya’s as well but ultimately i’m going for vampire. for funsies
toya is constantly dropping facts about random historical events but everyone just thinks he’s autistic and history is his spinterest
he would casually drop some fact about something super specific that happened 100 years ago and everyone would be like oh cool and move on
every time toya shows a sign of being a vampire people attribute it to autism. “he can’t have garlic sorry, i think it’s a texture thing” “sorry he never smiles with his teeth he’s bad at facial expressions” “he’s bad with social cues so he won’t enter your house unless you specifically say that he can”
#prsk#project sekai#vbs#vivid bad squad#headcanon#asks!!#mod an speaks#kohane azusawa#an shiraishi#akito shinonome#toya aoyagi#toya autism real#also akian/polyvbs win once again#the way that i can still write vampire hcs like this when i’m not even a twilight fan anymore#i love them sm#ask game
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yoo thanks for writing up your thoughts on the DEO! i know that j'onn just took on hank henshaw's appearance but i also wonder after reading your analysis about what it could mean for a black man to spearhead the DEO and then to be hot potatoed around along with women leaders, specifically. it's interesting concept that i don't think the show had much of a nuanced take to really consider re: intersectionality. i think the whole thing also raises a big issue of judge/jury/executioner for who are, essentially, refugees. automatic criminal indictment by the superfriends/deo is very fascinating and i think that murky gray waters could have been played well in stronger and more intentional hands. in any case, im all over the place, but enjoyed your essay!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Honestly, that's a really interesting point. I know that Supergirl touched a little on race when James tells Lena about how hard things are for him as a black man. This in turn really gets Lena thinking about the types of oppression people face, but beyond that conversation, the show doesn't dig into the ramifications too much more. I would love to see more people tackle the intersectionality here. In a way, I do think, likely unintentionally on the part of CW, the DEO has major parallels with how Black people, Indigenous people, and immigrants of color are treated by police and government agencies within America society today. Fazedlight mentioned this in the reply to my essay on how the analysis also covers how secret/black-op agencies in real world fall under the same pitfalls and problems. Often police act as exactly that -- judge/jury/executioner -- during encounters with these communities. The encounter are often benign but the police escalate the situation often to deadly levels. For example, the case of Tamir Rice who was a 12 year old boy playing with a toy gun and police escalated by shooting him dead. Or in the case of Philando Castile, who was pulled over for a bogus traffic stop. He had a permit to carry a gun, and per the rules for such a permit, he disclosed that he had the gun and the permit. As he reaches to get the documents, the police shoot him dead in front of his wife and kids. In fact, lawyers will tell people to never talk to police, because police will use even harmless statements against us. That we should not trust police. That lawyers must be present to navigate anything with police for our own safety. How there are studies that show police interrogations involve problematic "behavior cues," trickery, deception, and leading questions to trap people into confessions (false or not). Our society has normalized the killing of Black people and other people of color due to continuous rampant dehumanization. Our society still perpetuates harmful and untrue myths about people of color to justify the harms done to those communities. People of color are taught to stay calm to deescalate police (who we are told are there to "deescalate" when they often only escalate the situation instead). These communities have very little resources, are consistently defunded of money to build up services and repair their community, how cities will outright allow them to be poisoned rather than aid them (in the case of the lead poisoning in Flint, Michigan.) Finding solutions for these problems is not easy. It will require transitional periods, tearing down the harmful systems, and building up something better, more liberatory, more equitable and equal. (It's why I do a lot of reading within the Black and Indigenous Liberation movements as they have excellent research into this and also possible solutions and ways to build toward that future.) So when I think about how Supergirl portrayed the DEO, I can't unsee these parallels. Although the Superfriends often don't brutally murder alien suspects -- it's not a given that other DEO agents don't do this even if Supergirl and her friends may not -- some of their other so-called "nonviolent" tactics eerily mirror abusive policing practices.
Supergirl has a vow to not kill, but her ways to capture the aliens is often brutal, and the show positions this as unavoidable (is it tho? this is never interrogated). The show doesn't cover what medical attention these aliens are given after capture. I would hope they'd get some medical aid, but we're never truly shown it.
Superfriends automatic indictment of aliens is indeed judge/jury/executioner approach to dealing with conflict and does little to alleviate the conditions that might produce "criminal" behaviors. Plus, imprisoning people with no hope of a trial, lawyer, or parole or bond mirrors what American Police do. (As an example, the Rikers jail in New York City, as here people, who aren't even charged with a crime yet, are trapped there with no bonds, no trials, and some have died.) Alex and even Kara sometimes use psychological techniques similar to the American police -- trickery, deception, leading questions, behavioral cues induced by their questioning, and other psychological methods. Whether the information gained this way is actually truthful or not -- in real life it often isn't -- the show doesn't interrogate but instead acts like it's always correct. I think about how very little is done by the Superfriends (outside a brief arc with Kelly in Season 6 and a few moments in Season 4) to alleviate the poor conditions the alien immigrant communities face. Instead, they imprison aliens without regard for their families or why they may have resorted to burglary or other "criminal" activities. The parallels here are probably unintentional by CW and CBS, but it's very hard to unsee it.
I'd love to see more stories truly tackle this. To examine how we can tear down a harmful, abusive system, and build up something more equitable and equal and humane.
The closest I've seen any story come is actually one I recently found: One is by pcrtifacts, where Kara never becomes Supergirl and Superman doesn't exist yet and the DEO is still run by the original Hank Henshaw. The story doesn't shy away from how brutal, inhumane, and horrific the treatment of aliens in human society and by the DEO often is. It also has the main characters fighting to stop and tear down such a system. To try to find a better way.
There's a parallel there with how immigrant and Black communities are treated, and it's one of the few stories I've seen in the Supergirl fandom that tackles this in a more intersectional way that is fairly respectful of its subject matter.
For myself, I try to be respectful of the subject matter and my approach of these topics in my Unraveling Realities fic, but I feel like I could approach it more directly and a lot better given time and thought.
I feel there's a lot of value in these types of stories. And we can still weave in our favorite romances while still being respectful of these themes. I think our fandom will be richer for it.
And it gives us a chance to redeem the Superfriends, to push them to be better than how CW portrayed them, and to finally start to see what liberation and a more equitable and equal society with aliens and humans could look like.
Anyway, your ask got me thinking. So thank you again! I appreciate it.
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This post is entirely me rambling about The Knight from Will Wight. Spoilers below.
I REALLY LIKED IT. Up until the last 10%, I would've said it was my favorite book Will has written, but the last 10% is just too fast paced for me. Honestly I feel like the D'niss threat could've been streched into another book, and just have this book deal with Esh'kinaar summoning, or at least have the entire last fight to be with Esh'kinaar, and not this Esh'kinaar 2.0. This is the only thing I didn't enjoy about the book. For now, I will say this is my current favorite Will Wight book, but thats rlly because I haven't reread Cradle in a while and I can't remember which book was my favorite.
Raion. Raion in this book i rlly rlly love him. Theres so much I want to say about him that I probably am going to forget to say stuff in this post. I could write essays about him and I already have many fanfic ideas
The scene where he is being tricked by the senators was so painful to read. How uncertain Raion was if what he was saying were the right words or not, knowing *something* was up, but not being able to read the room well enough to know what hit way too close to home. Honestly Im struggling to come up with the right words to describe the masterpiece the was chapter 24 to 31. It will stay in my mind forever. And then the D'niss come and the Perfected and Raion just blames himself?? Raion wants to take responsibility for everything and going after Esh'kinaar even though he knows for a fact that he died doing the same thing before??? The way he even had words planned and they were the SAME ones as before my heart-
Anyway I need to stop thinking about that scene or else I will never finish this post. Some more scattered thoughts
Varic was definitely the rich kid who thought he was special and talented enough to make it into the arena, only to be brutally humbled. "I had visions of myself following in her footsteps and setting records in an arena." -> immediately gets demolished by Kyri. Ahaha it didn't last long I hope we get to see more rich kid Varic in the future.
Speaking of Kyri, I really liked her character. She only appeared in a few chapters, but her arc was so interesting to read. I really like characters like her, where they just feel so real despite having so little screen time. Also, Kyri x Doctor Cryce.
Also, a small detail I noticed: In the Captain, Varic said he was a prize fighter on Visiria, but he clearly wasn't. It could be that he was actually a better fighter, but just did poorly against Kyri, but I feel like it would've been pointed out that he does win fights. I wonder if he returned to the arena after leaving the Titan Knights, assuming the D'niss haven't reached Visiria at that point yet.
I love how theatrical Varic can be. He 100% gets this from his Spellbinder life. "That was a cue if I ever heard one" -> attacks a child. Hey thats the second Will Wight protagonist to beat up a child!
"It wasn't uncommon for me to wake in the middle of the night" Ah so Varic's sleeping problems have resumed. This works well for some fanfic ideas I have...
I love how Horizon keeps dressing Varic up as his alt. lives. I am so looking forward for Varic in a suit or whatever he wore in the MoS life.
Horizon this book was just great. She was so pathetic it was hilarious.
OH and Benri being sus. I think the reason why he gave up the Zenith Cannon so easily is because of how the Vallenar Corporation is benefiting from the aftermath of the Starhammer's downfall. Benri was inspired by the Iron King, so he's trying to expand his influence. Its simple, if the crew has the Zenith Cannon, which the Vallenar Corporation can't use anyway, theres a larger chance that they cause some destruction, and the Vallenar Corporation can just pick up whatever was displaced. No more Advocates? More power in the Free Worlds. Going after the Galactic Union? Time to get ready to pick up some new planets.
#will wight#the last horizon#willverse#Ive changed my mind maybe this is my favorite book above all the Cradle books
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Hi it's me, the anon with the sending hcs ask! I finally got to finish reading the last book rn and like.... was anyone gonna tell me that WWX canonically reaches out to tickle below LWJ's chin several times???
And yes ofc LWJ doesn't react but still-
Anyway now I can't stop thinking about it, about how LWJ might react to it if he let's go of his self-control enough to let himself act on that knee-jerk impulse (which would be easiest for him when drunk, in canon, but also hear me out.... what if incredibly sleep-deprived LWJ who just doesn't care about controlling his facial expressions anymore if only his husband will finally deign to stop bouncing around and come to bed)
I think WWX would probably suffer a heart attack if the habitual little tease of reaching out to tickle LWJ under his chin would result in LWJ shivering and tucking his chin down and swaying back slightly with the corners of his mouth quivering. Especially if, flustered by his own "inappropriately unrestrained" reaction, LWJ refused to meet WWX's eyes and respond to his teasing beyond quiet hums like that'd hide his pink ears or the way his chin keeps twitching down whenever WWX starts to reach out towards his face. WWX would have a field day with the knowledge that he can make his husband struggle to keep his composure with such a small, innocent touch - especially once he discovers that drawing his fingertips up and over LWJ blush-warm ears actually makes his perfect posture falter because he can't help but twitch away from the horribly soft tickle,,
If you can't tell I'm going insane and I'm having to hold myself back from writing a whole essay on this in your askbox - I hope you enjoy my little brainstorm session though :D!
I ALMOST SCREAMED WHEN I DISCOVERED ABOUT THAT LIL TICKLE UNDER THE CHIN like aaaa!! Can you imagine? The very own HuangJun, quiet, controlled and calm being undone by a few tickles?
I love the idea you just brought with extremely tired Lan Zhan feeling comfortable enough to just let go around his dear husband and Wei Wuxian, being the GREMLIN he is, using that to his favor to tease and push (lovely) his buttons, going for that usual lil tickle and not expecting much, except that this time his lover's eyes get wider and a quiet huff escape his lips before he can stop it and now Wei Wuxian is looking at him with playfully dangerous gaze. He just got a taste of the melodious, beautiful laughter of his husband and he wants to listen to it again. Cue the usual shenanigans between these two being silly and so much in love.
Tickling Lan Zhan, I imagine, is always an unclear adventure. You never know if in the next second it will be him snickering and laughing under palyful fingers or you being lost in laughter and joy as he decides to end thsi game. Wei Wuxian is always more than happy to take this gamble, tho.
Also!!!!! YOU ARE! SO! FREAKING RIGHT!!!! Gosh, look, look. Those blushy ears are the cutest thing ever! All I can imagine is WWX getting absolutely endeared by how red Lan Zhan's ears are and then he decided to ATTACK this very spot with all the light traces and soft scribbles and loving kisses and playful nibbles, which only makes them redder, of course, which makes WWX want to tickle them more, which makes them red-
You get it.
Besides! How adorable that Lan Zhan can't hide both his ears and smile at the same time so Wei Wuxian takes turns in teasing him about both of them and snickering when that makes Lan Zhan falter and try to decide which one he must hide now. To imagine he getting all smiley and quiet (this part of him answering his husband with hums when he teases him is EVERYTHING TO ME) and Wei Wuxian just having so much fun and they both enjoying each other and being sweet and cute auuugh, my heart can't take it
#THESE IDEAS YOU WROTE ARE PURE GOOOOOLD#I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEMMM#The usually composed and serious Lan Zhan being all giggly and smiley and trying to hide his reactions while WWX is basically BEAMING-#-all excited and happy and teasy??? ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE#The soft tickles with those two are my weakness. everything i could ever think about. absolutely amazing#WWX tracing and scribbling his husband's ears and Lan Zhan letting him? only twitching on the same place but being comfortable enough to-#-let go and laugh? Y E S#Kanene's askys#Kanene's asks#anon is precious#mdzs tickle headcanons#mdzs tickles#mdzs tickling
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vulcan has no moon.
Words: 1,255
Genre/Tropes: Fluff, old married Spirk <3
Summary: Spock is overwhelmed, but thankfully he always has his favorite person with him to make sure he's alright <3
Notes: This was originally published on my AO3 (link included lol), but I thought I'd put it here too :) this takes place like. Sometimes post Search For Spock?? Idk it's during the TOS movies. Enjoy !!
When he was still in the academy, a hopeful young Starfleet trainee with a fervent ambition for his studies, Spock had stayed up late one night writing an essay for his astrophysics class about the sort of force it might take for two astronomical objects that had orbited each other to fall out of that orbit. It had, of course, been many years since then-- several decades, in fact, which made him feel exceedingly aged-- and he scarcely remembered the essay or the assignment themselves... but he did remember his findings. Not because he had much interest in astrophysics-- in all honesty, the subject had rather bored him during the time he spent studying it-- no, that wasn't it at all. In fact, Spock found that the way the subject seemed to stick in his head the way it did, periodically rising to the surface accompanied by flashing images of his husband's timeless, smiling face, had very little to do with the content of his report itself and much more to do with the conclusion he'd found in his research.
"Simply put, two celestial bodies in orbit, unless influenced by a massive and most likely artificial source of gravitational pull will not fall out of orbit from each other. Of course, should this happen regardless it would result in disastrous consequences for both astronomical objects in question, but considering that it has already been established that the chances of this occurring are nearly if not impossible, it is not a concern relevant for modern scientists to attempt at preventing as it would be illogical to do so."
Spock thought about those words as he sat stiffly at the Kirk family dinner table, his face neutral and strangely calm, yet his mind somewhere else entirely. He held no resentment toward his husband's family-- his in-laws, as Jim called them (which was not a term Spock understood in the slightest), had been nothing but kind and loving to him, albeit in their own, somewhat unfamiliar way. He appreciated them, he respected them, but...
Surak help him they were loud.
Spock really did not mean any sort of discourtesy in that, hence why he would never announce such a thing aloud (he had learned over his many, many years working with humans that they tended to be... finicky... when it came to certain statements of bluntness and as such he'd found, mostly through trial and error and long, patient, confusing discussions with his husband, what it was that he was socially permitted to say around humans-- or, actually, come to think of it, sometimes even other Vulcans. Maybe he just wasn't good with social cues across the universe.). In his mind-- which is where he had elected the statement would stay, it was more of an observation than anything. Still, though, he found it rather overwhelming. He didn't mind spending time with Jim's family-- he wanted to, even, it was only fair considering the odd amount of time Jim had spent around Sarek over the course of their relationship-- but Spock couldn't help feeling that the Kirk family could be rather... exhausting. He tried not to think about it, but as he felt that steady, familiar sensation of overwhelmedness creep up his spine he feared that any longer in this house may kill him.
Suddenly, he felt Jim's hand rest over his own, the slightly cold sensation of his husband's ring touching gently to his skin.
"Hey, Spock and I are gonna head out for some fresh air," Jim announced, standing up and gently moving aside two of his younger nephews who'd been at his side questioning him about anything they could think to ask about the final frontier. James took his husband's hand gently, and Spock didn't argue as they walked out the front door and into the cool nighttime air.
Spock felt himself let go of a breath he hadn't known he was holding, the door shutting behind them and leaving the two men in a comfortable evening silence.
"I could tell you were getting a bit antsy in there," James chuckled, taking Spock's hands in his own carefully.
"Vulcans do not get... antsy," Spock mumbled, slightly embarrassed.
"Vulcans don't, maybe, but my husband does," James snickered in response. "Come on, let's go for a walk."
Spock was quiet for a long moment before, slowly, he nodded, a subtle smile creeping onto his face. It was a slight change, something barely even there... that only James Tiberius Kirk would've noticed. There were a lot of things about Spock that only Jim ever saw. Small things, nearly inconsequential things... but, when it came to S'Chn T'Gai Spock, Jim didn't think anything was inconsequential. Every movement, every twitch, every glance... it meant something. Jim had known his husband for far longer than he'd known himself, he knew better than anyone that nothing Spock ever did was purposeless.
"I am feeling rather... lightheaded," Spock said quietly. "Earth's atmosphere has far more oxygen than the atmosphere of Vulcan, and although I have been here many times my body has yet to have grown accustomed to the change."
Jim hummed softly. "Do you want to sit down?" He asked gently. Spock seemed like he wanted to protest, but slowly he seemed to pause and reconsider before agreeing. Jim smiled softly at this, leading his husband off the path and into a nearby field, laying down next to him and staring up at the dimly lit stars above.
It was strange, really; the two of them had seen the stars at far closer a glance, and yet here they were, admiring them the same way Earthlings had done for thousands and thousands of years, long before the idea of space travel was even considered. They had traveled the universe together. They'd nearly died a thousand times out in the vast, cold depths of space-- hell, once one of them had died and it took more sacrifice than either of them liked to think about to bring him back. There was something romantic in that tragedy. Something tragic in that romance. Yet, like they had as younger men who'd fallen in love on a starship that became more home to the both of them than either of their native lands, they chose not to let such things linger on for too long. The philosophical questions of their love, of their lives, could perhaps be explored another day, in another galaxy. They would have time.
"... Spock...?" Jim asked quietly, almost hesitant in his voice. Spock found it curiously... uncharacteristic.
"Yes, Jim?" Spock responded, still holding onto his husband's hand with an almost desperate conviction.
"... Do you think we're ever going to be... you know... separated... again...?"
Spock paused to consider the question.
"Perhaps we will," he whispered. His eyes found themselves drawn to the full moon laying lazily in the sky, its shimmering light twinkling gently down onto them. He thought once again of that essay he'd written during his academy years. For a moment, he wasn't certain why the thought had appeared in his mind... but suddenly he knew. And suddenly he found a small smile once again creep onto his face. He squeezed Jim's hand in his own. "But it would be illogical to prepare for an event which has a nearly if not impossible likeliness of occurring."
Jim was quiet for a long moment-- but after the breeze that whipped carefully around them in the grass seemed to urge him to respond, he found himself smiling too.
"I suppose you're right, Mr. Spock."
#star trek#tos#s’chn t’gai spock#mr spock#spock#the search for spock#spirk#tos spirk#tos spock#james t kirk#captain kirk#admiral kirk#kirk#old married spirk#autistic spock#star trek fanfiction#fanfic#star trek fanfic#spirk fanfiction#my fanfiction
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A Plain of Stars (Chapter 3)
A/n: Finally I wrote another chapter. I know I said I'd write it like a month ago but I had a lot going on with my family and school, plus every time I tried to write I just couldn't put the words down. I also wrote a full chapter that had a huge plot hole, like something so stupid you'd think I haven't been in this fandom for years now. But, I did write the into to chapter 4 by accident so that one should be alone quicker now that I'm done with school for the semester. I hope y'all like this one, it's a little short. Feedback is always appreciated.
(I always end up rereading these and making little edits, all my stories are always getting a little bit more readable :0)
Warnings: Light cursing, arranged marriages, reader is kinda mean
Summary: Agnes Goyle is quickly working her way into your circle.
Chapter 4
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Chapter 3
Poor Agnes.
Poor boring, tactless Agnes; who had no shot with the boy of her dreams.
You and Agnes Goyle had become friends last semester, not good friends but friends came few and far between so you would have to grin and bear her. The two of you had been assigned partners for a potions assignment and she had quickly latched. She asked you to take her places, walk the castle with her, and had intruded on your meals with the twins.
It was about two days in that she began to shift, she’d always been outgoing and friendly, not particularly funny but to her credit she didn’t try to be. But whenever Evan was concerned she seemed to second guess herself, cutting off her sentences or looking anywhere but him when she would speak. Evan, who could be called a moron but never oblivious, immediately took notice of this.
“What’s up with your shadow?” He’d said one day on the way back to the dorms after dinner. Agnes and Pandora had decided to study that even, Dora had either taken a liking to or a pity for the girl. “Agnes?” You say, shrugging “no clue.” You knew. Of course you knew, but her crush wasn’t for your entertainment and you didn’t fancy playing matchmaker. “Hm” Evan looked annoyed but didn’t dwell on it.
She was always walking a step behind the rest, cutting herself short when one of you spoke over her, tugging at her clothes, staring off into space. Nothing like she had been when it was just the two of you, then she couldn;t seem to shut up. She filled the empty silence with random facts and stories about her day. You found the chatter a little comforting, Agnes talked and you listened, there was no pressure on you to drive the conversation. It was like having a companion with whom you could be completely mindless, you liked that about her. And if you were busy, or had another place to be, she never minded.
Even now as she walked slightly behind you, Regulus, Pandora, and Evan she wasn’t the same bubbly girl you’d come to know in the first months of your friendship, it was really starting to grate on your nerves. If she was going to be around she could at least be herself, it was far more enjoyable than the simmering shyness that clouded her now. You tug Regulus closer to you and away from Evan, effectively putting a space between him and the blonde. Agnes, thankfully getting the cue, gives you a surprised but grateful look and steps into the space. “Goyle! Didn’t even know you were there, when did you get so quiet?” Evan chirps, in his all too easy way. “Oh, I just-” she fades away, you give her a stern look. “I just didn’t want to interrupt, plus you couldn’t hear me back there.” An amused huff escapes Regulus as he watches the events play out, he gives you a bit of side eye. To which you shrug. “Next time just shove Reggie over, it’s not like he speaks anyway.”
Later, when it was just you and Regulus in the library he broached the topic. “So, your shadow has a crush.” He raises an eyebrow at you, “I guess, I really hate what it’s turned her into.” You say, not averting your attention away from the essay you're revising. “So your solution is to play cupid?” That makes you look up at him, the way he’s leaned over the table with his chin in his hand. “No” You exasperate, “my solution is to make her more comfortable so she’ll stop acting like a kicked puppy.” He leans back then, a sardonic expression painted across his face as he crosses his arms over his chest, “is that right?” You roll your eyes and go back to your essay, “what happens when she gets the wrong impression? Evan is used to two kinds of girls. You and Dora, who may as well be sexless, and objects of affection. Personally, I don;t think Agnes Goyle falls into that second category.”
You huff and throw you quill back into its inkwell, “I don’t know Regulus, maybe I wasn’t thinking about it. Maybe he will like her or maybe she’ll have to realise that she doesn’t have a chance and get over it. Either way it will be a learning experience for one of us.” You snatch you quill back up and go back to writing, Regulus for once allows a smile to curl over his features as he watches you.
Okay, so maybe it was cruel and self motivated. But, you didn’t have time to worry about it, and for all other people knew you were just trying to make her feel included in the little ‘in-crowd’ the four of you were forming.
The buzz around Regulus’ reappearance had spread quickly throughout the school and even more had the news about who he was hanging around. Now that you had all grown up a bit people were starting to take sides. War was inevitable, most families had either pledged their children to the darklord or outright denounced his ideology. The four of you sat at the centre of it, not in the sense that you were the main problem in this war, but more that you each straddle a fence. Before Sirius had left it was so clear that all of you, or at least Regulus and the twins would take the dark mark, but now doubt had set in, especially as you all neared your seventh year. Chatter was ceaseless and endlessly annoying, you knew it mattered, you knew the moment any of you made a decision you would polarise either way. You just hoped you wouldn’t be polarised against one another.
Unlike the others your parents hadn’t made a decision. Obviously they leaned one way, and by doing so and being of the relatively new families to join the sacred 28 you managed to skate by. But the pressure was increasing and you all knew it. “I’m scared” Dora had said to you one night, “I’m scared for all of us.” Her expression was uncharacteristically grave. The lofty demeanour she was known for was slipping out her day by day, the weight of decision squeezing it out her. It seemed even the brightest of you were losing your colour. You shifted closer to her on the couch, putting your arms out as she fell into them in time. You’d never been a touchy person, but Dora knew comfort one way. You’d stroked her hair and whispered sweet nothings, ‘it’s going to be okay’s, and ‘we’ll be alright’s. All manner of things you didn’t really believe.
Your little in-crowd was becoming more and more tight knit every day, but not in the way that made it seem like you’d always be this way. Not like Sirius and his friends, who seemed to suck new people into their friend group like a vacuum as time went on, they seemed like they’d be a family forever, it made you sick to your stomach. You opted not to think too much about it. No, your tightness felt like a rubberband fit to snap, that one day it would break and you’d all be scattered out the edges of the world. Now, Agnes was slipping her way under that band, none of you felt the security to warn her. Too worried that acknowledging it would be just the thing to break it.
Regardless, you were becoming more fond of them each day. Even for all of Evan’s chatter, and Regulus’ lack of chatter, and for Pandora's odd remarks, or for Agnes’ little observations; you still wouldn’t trade them for any of your classmates. There was something about the way you fit together, it made the snugness of the rubberband feel more like comfort than an inconvenience. You’d never had friends like this, before you’d had Sirius. But this was almost better, when one of them annoyed you there was always someone else to go to, and for the most part you were all together. Either at meals or in classes you were a unit, the consistency was so nice that the thought of them slipping away made your chest ache a little.
Christmas decorations had finally been draped across the castle, the yuletide in the air lightened everyone's mood. “Don’t you think hanging mistletoe around a castle full of children is a bit odd?” Agnes remarked as she cut into her pie. “Now that you mention it, yeah.” Regulus spoke, looking across the table at Agnes, who always looked a little ajar when Regulus spoke to her. “True! What are they playing at?” Evan chimed in, looking more over to Regulus than to Agnes, who’d broached the question in the first place. “Maybe it’s just one of those archaic traditions, they probably don’t even think about putting it up anymore. It’s just like the garland of the bobbles.” Pandora directed her musings at the sky, serverying the floating wreaths above her head. “Except it’s not” Evan furrows his eyebrows at her and eventually rolls his eyes when he is given no response from his sister. “I mean, she has a point. I don’t think anyone’s holding a wand to the first years heads and making them kiss for our amusement.” You say, your tone lovingly chagrin. “I should hope not” Regulus says, looking over to you where you sat next to him.
This had become commonplace, it didn’t matter where you were, you sat down and he sat next to you. It was kind of adorable, like a standoffish housecat that insisted on following you around but never sitting directly with you. “I don’t know, anything above my head in a doorway makes me uneasy after what happened to Severus.” Agnes shivered, remembering the concoction of red paint and god knows what that was soaked Severus Snape as he entered the potions room last week. None of you had been there, being in the year below Severus and not sharing any classes, but everyone had either seen or heard about his march of rage through the corridor back to his dorm. “Those four need to be jailed, if not only for annoying the piss out of everyone who has to deal with Snape.” Evan looked genuinely exhausted, he’d been assigned Severus as a tutor for potions and had to deal with his attitude biweekly. “Maybe, try studying on your own and passing your own classes and you could avoid him.” Regulus shot Evan a look that was returned back twice fold. “Maybe Slughorn should do his job instead of networking with his students” Reglus only nodded at that.
“He does what?” Agnes said incredulously, Pandora piped up in turn, sensing something that needed explanation. “He likes to form connections with the wealthiest and most intelligent students in each house, he invites students with promise to be a part of an exclusive club so they think fondly of him when they’re more successful.” She says, her gaze falling from the sky and onto Agnes. “Oh” she says, the same look of simmering shyness falling over her once again. Evan spoke next, “his standards are almost inexplicable, don’t worry about not being invited” He elbows her in the ribs gently before leaning down to fake whisper “I’m not in it either.” This turns Agnes into a puddle of blush and giggles in her seat. “His definition of promise is obviously skewed considering both my brother and I made it,” Regulus remarks, pushing food around his plate. The table is silent for a second, all of you surprised at the mention of Sirius. “He has no standards, his methods are about as clear as divination.” You say, effectively smashing the silence and diffusing tension.
The conversation picks up once more as Agnes tells her latest story about divination, to which Evan can’t help but make commentary. It’s in these moments of distraction that Regulus finds his excuse to scoot ever so slightly closer to you on the bench, and for once.. You notice.
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