#feel free to disagree with me lol its just my personal interpretation

[onlyplatonicirl]

@lightyearssurrogatedaddy i saw your tags lol. cue incoming characterization essay because i dont want to do my homework:

I've actually attributed the sunk-cost fallacy to Error's mindset on multiple occasions, and it's something I'm going to be referencing in my writing when it comes up.

The sunk-cost fallacy is the core principle in regards to Error's character and why he does the things he does in TCOTI. You have this character (error) who has spent his entire life dedicated to an impossible goal: complete annihilation. At first it didn't really seem to matter whether or not it was pheasable - it was just something he felt that needed to happen. He made it his life's goal, he became the villian of the entire multiverse to see his plan through for what he thought would right the mess and clutter of a chaotic world that shouldn't have even existed. Of course, it's a stupid plan, and he has that plan because he's literally insane. Error's spent an untold amount of time in a white void, both his mind and body warping to an unrecognizable degree. His view of the world is skewed, and he sees things different than others - while being stubborn and refusing to listen to anyone's thoughts but himself.

My story (but you can apply this to potentially any story involving Error because I personally feel like it's on par with his character) takes place at least a century in the future. Time does not matter to world-walking immortals. He is no closer to his goal than when he first started. Why would he? Error is essentially trying to stop an immutable force of nature - the deviance of timelines and branching pathways of the multiverse. (And if we're taking the canon route in regards to creators, then he's attempting to stop people from creating.) It's a completely impossible task. Universes are created at a much quicker rate than he can destroy them.

Even in a hypothetical situation where he achieves his goal and nothing but the original universe remains, it's going to branch off again eventually. His goal of "killing everything and then himself" would never last because once he's gone, there won't be anyone else left to "take out the trash" that will once again branch off and spread through the entire multiverse. Not that it's ever even gotten to that point though.

And like a said - He's crazy. These aren't really concerns of his, nor is he following sound logic or reason to his plan. But while he is crazy, he is not stupid.

How long do you think it would take him before he realizes he isn't getting anywhere? That everything he destroys just ends up replacing itself in one form or another? My story is a hypothetical century later. He may be able to stall the growth by killing off a main universe, or potentially backtracking the progress, but it's not the same as permanently making a dent in the net growth. And perhaps he's eased himself into that routine, into being content with just keeping things at an even level of creation and destruction. But it's not the goal he has centered his entire existence around- and eventually in the very subconscious of his mind, after an uncountable amount of time doing the same thing his whole life -running on a treadmill towards nowhere - does he begin to wonder why he's still doing this.

It wouldn't even register to him as a fully formed thought. It would be a nagging feeling in his gut, a general unease. It would take him years to even recognize that something is wrong, to try and think about things that go against his ideology and his reason to be, as stubborn and narcissistic as he is. But eventually it surfaces as a fully formed thought:

Why is he still doing this?

He had a reason back then, but it's going no where. It's been ages. decades. Almost nothing has changed.

But the simple fact is, he can never really answer that thought. Because he has been on this path for so long, there is nothing else left for him outside of it.

Sunk-cost fallacy.

If he stops, if he tries to seek out an alternate path, than what was EVERYTHING he worked for for YEARS and YEARS even for?? He went through so much pain, he's isolated from the rest of the multiverse as a villain, he has solidified his place in the world. If he ever stopped, it would be admitting to himself that every second of his long existence so far has been a waste. That he has done nothing with himself, and that he worked for nothing but the insane whims of a corrupted mind, towards an unachievable goal.

The world continues to move on. The multiverse continues to grow and change. And he remains, destroying, and convincing himself that he's fine with forever keeping balence.

Because what else does he have left?

And the question he doesn't even think to consider: What of the future?

[bridgetoesoteria]

🖤Breaking baddie🖤: Describing your 'dark feminine' energy. How to channel it?

Hola malacitas 😘 (i hope that actually made sense lol).

First things first, what is "dark feminine" energy?

Yes, this is the **first website that comes up when you google "dark feminine," but it is pretty thorough and comprehensive! I liked it the most out of all the others. The others either repeated the same points or had too many outdated/black-or-white views. Feel free to do your own research however. There are plenty of videos on YouTube as well. **One caveat...when you get to the part about tapping into DF energy, I disagree with #8 (specifically).

(We're going to keep this post light and I'll dedicate a separate post to my personal viewpoints.)

So I will be telling you all about your personal DF "archetype." I will also provide guidance on how you channel your DF energy.

I am so so excited for this! Eek 🙊 Okay, options below, left to right. I hope it resonates!

I am using a few different decks. I won't be adding pictures but I will provide what cards I drew.

Pile 1

Off the bat: I am hearing "no fuss" and also "ruthless," which is interesting considering the image you chose. I was also hearing the lyrics "all I do is win, win, win no matter what." So I'm getting some really bad ass energy right away! Come thru mob girlies!

4-Card Spread: 4 of Diamonds, 8 of Diamonds, 7 of Hearts, Joker. Bottom of deck is 6 of Clubs.

It's funny you have the 6 of Clubs (wands) on the bottom of the deck. I was hearing those lyrics about winning. This is a card that signifies victory and public recognition or celebration. I feel like the DF side of you is really bad ass! I'm also getting a pinch of "lover girl" energy. Its kind of like you have perfect formula sugar+sheist+everything nice! lol

This energy isn't afraid to be in the spotlight but is also quite comfortable in the shadows. You may be (or this is what other people think) the type to use underhanded to get ahead. Its not personal but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm also getting an energy of it is easy for people (I'm hearing "dudes" so maybe some of you talk like that) to get attached and feel led on. But I think you are married to the hustle.

Some of you may not regularly reside in this energy and could be put off by the description. But that is exactly why its dark feminine energy. It pokes and antagonizes the status quo, which is where most of us reside from day to day. Traditionally, feminines are not painted as cunning, street-wise, heartbreakers. Your DF energy pushes back against those constraints placed on feminines that require prioritizing the group over self. Not that anyone asked but I think that's actually kind of amazing.

Of course you don't have to reside in this energy and adopt some toxic alter ego, but there probably are some gems hidden here. People who move like this are usually made, not born. In some way, they learned that survival=competition, so you learn to "stay ready so you don't have to get ready." Your motto as a DF would be "every (wo)man for themselves," making betrayals feel less personal because...well it just isn't, as crazy as that sounds.

Advice: The Devil, Queen of Swords, King of Wands, The Star. Bottom of deck is 7 of Swords + Mute (Oracle)

I'm getting a strong message about speaking up. I am using Tarot de Carlotydes and in this deck the 7 of Swords is depicted as a sword swallower. Which I always interpret as "swallowing" the truth. Then as I was focusing on this group's image, I realized the cabinet behind her is full of skulls, reminding me of "skeletons in the closet." Then finally we have a literal Mute card:

The Mute is told what to hear, say and think and is often suppressed. Sometimes breaking the chains against heeded words may be rewarded.

So you currently may be the complete opposite of your DF energy. One of the keywords for the Mute is "insecurities." I feel like a lot of you are sleeping on yourselves. 🔊AND ITS TIME TO WAKE THE F UP!

Maybe you are trapped in your light feminine energy. I say trapped because it feels like you are forced into that box. Super passive, loss of control. Where your DF energy would insist on speaking up and standing out, you may just keep your head down and avoid any trouble.

I'm hearing specifically that some of you love writing poetry but may have someone who discourages you from pursuing this interest. You may want to present your poetry to an audience and they tell you that no one wants to hear what you have to say. For others, they are saying no one wants to hear from you about something else.

If you are used to toxic and restrictive connections or friendships, you are being called to step out of that. Get used to asserting your boundaries, "do not speak down about my hobbies," "if you cannot allow me to think for myself, then we can not continue our relationship." I think you definitely have it in you.

Another keyword listed is "hope." I think some of you may enjoy singleness and being single-mindedly focused on you and your goals, more fulfilling than you think. It can be healing to finally feel like the star of your show.

TL;DR: Your DF energy definitely has a bit of edge to her. She does what she has to do to move ahead and she prefers to fly solo. Even if that is not where you are right now, this energy already exists within you. Once you drop the dead weight--be it toxic family, toxic friends, or a toxic partner--you will see how quickly you flourish. You have every right to speak your truth and protect your peace. Its time to peel yourself off the wallpaper and start standing out and speaking up!

Pile 2

Off the bat: I wasn't getting anything with this group. I found that strange and wondered if I wasn't "tuned in." I think this represents your mental space when you are in your DF energy. You are clear minded and have a "sober" outlook. Maybe some of you are literally sober or are considering it.

4-Card Spread: 2 of Clubs, Queen of Spades, 8 of Spades (R), Ace of Hearts/7 of diamonds. Bottom of deck is 9 of diamonds.

I am very strongly getting that there is something noteworthy about your DF's decision making abilities. Maybe that sounds "boring," but its actually pretty admirable! The world often sends the message that feminine energy does not possess strong cognitive abilities. When feminines contradict this stereotype, they can be labeled as "cold," "mean," "masculine," or met with hostility.

I'm honestly getting that the DF in you does not care. You may naturally lean more to this side in every day life. Or this is where you could be if you tapped into your DF energy more often.

You make clear decisions and keep it moving. You do not allow your thoughts to keep you tangled up in a web of confusion and indecision. Some of you could be really good at chess. I am getting that kind of energy. Calculated, self-assured, and making decisions with no intentions of taking it back.

You are quite comfortable standing on your own, and pouring into your own little world. I get the image of a woman who lives on a quiet estate, walking through her garden, with birds chirping and flying above. Have any of you watched the movie Men (2022)? I loved the imagery in that film and that's kind of the vibe I am getting now. A lot of horse girlies may have picked this pile.

I feel you being very unbothered, above drama. Your DF energy would love to find a masculine that can match your energy. You are good on your own so you won't allow anyone disruptive into your peaceful little domain. You do not make impulsive decisions in love and you are willing to wait for a new opportunity that is worth the investment. With the king of diamonds two cards under the 9 of diamonds, I do feel like this DF energy could pull the kind of masculine you desire.

Your DF energy really shines in STEM related jobs, corporate spaces, or any position that requires a sharp mind.

Advice: Ace of Swords, 10 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Knight of Cups. Bottom of deck is 10 of Wands + Spider (Oracle)

As soon as I pulled the ace of swords, I heard "get used to speaking your truth." I also heard stop entertaining "little boys." I don't think this is in terms of age, I think this referring to the maturity level of masculine energies you may usually deal with. I am in no way encouraging that you pursue anyone older. (Honestly, that does not guarantee emotional maturity or respect. But that's another convo).

I think this message is about the expectations you set for your partners. There is nothing wrong with expecting them to match you. They can either rise to the occasion or be left behind. If you hold this potential inside of you to be a queen of swords, queen of pentacles, and 9 of pentacles. Then I'm sure that energy exists out there in a suitable counterpart. The ten of wands is encouraging you to keep forging forward. I don't like preaching to be "strong" and "endure," but this is different. You are being strong for yourself. If you have to walk alone right now, it gets tough at times, but you are doing it with purpose. It will pay off.

For some this may literally require you to live alone. Its interesting that I keep getting messages about homes. I got a lot of diamonds/pentacles in the last spread, which also can deal with the home and related practical matters. "Home" is one of the keywords for Spider. The Moon is on the bottom of the deck, I think it is also relevant. This is what the guidebook has to say about each:

The Spider traps those who wander into her web. Keywords: Control, Home, Familiarity, Comfort, Trapped, Security. The Moon is not always as she seems. Her delicate glow seeks for hidden truths while blinding others to her own. Keywords: Confusion, Apprehension, Suspicion, Feelings.

You may need to be more discerning when it comes to who you let into your home and/or your heart. You might need to create a little confusion when it comes to what your next move is. Everyone does not deserve your energy or to be held on to.

Spiders can also be associated with anxiety. In regular tarot, I do consider the moon to be a card that can speak about mental health. So some of you may need to make these changes for your own sanity, literally.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a very strong and self-sufficient queen of swords type. She thinks clearly, can make decisions without questioning herself, and always stands on business. She has high standards for those who come around her because she has built a beautiful life for herself and will vet anyone who wants to join. This self-respect and authenticity helps to attract a suitable mate. One who can match this go-getter, no bs energy. The key to channeling this energy is to start living in it now. Trust your decision making abilities, don't announce or seek validation before you make a necessary personal decision. Staying true to yourself and becoming more independent will pay off.

Pile 3

Off the bat: When I looked at the image for your pile, I immediately heard "I'm not one of those/your little girls." So whew! We are coming in hot! Also hearing "I wish a b---- would."

4-Card Spread: 7 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs, 2 of Clubs, Joker. Bottom of deck is 5 of Hearts.

I am getting more light-hearted energy in this pile than the previous two. Maybe a lot of young, or young-at-heart, people have chosen this pile. This DF energy could easily pull many suitors but she views lovers as more of a "fun time," not so much a "long time." You could also be a little toxic toward lovers. Makeup to breakup, or honestly sometimes its just breakup lol.

This energy is quite fiery and uninhibited. Some of you could be fire signs, specifically Sagittarius. Or I am getting that because of what Sag represents: free spiritedness, adventure, luck. No wonder this DF energy resists being tied down. The world is literally your oyster and you knows it!

This DF energy is also a little scrappy. Have any of you watched the Bad Girls Club? You know how there would be that one person who has a temper, then gets a little too messed up when they go clubbing and ends up wanting to fight everyone... When you see red, people need to clear your path! I do get a bit of a party girl energy which is not surprising considering I was picking up on Sag.

This DF does not have a problem fulfilling her emotional needs. You will always make sure your cup is full. You will always make sure you are having a good time. You realizes that you have this amazing, fortunate energy and unapologetically harnesses it to get the most out of life. I think your DF self is also likely to be single and happy that way. Picking yourself up after disappointments in love is no problem because there are plenty more where they came from. You have an abundant mindset when it comes to love and life.

Advice: Queen of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Swords, 5 of Cups. Bottom of deck is 5 of Swords + Ghost (Oracle)

In order to channel this DF energy, some of you may literally have to ghost someone. I am not surprised the energy of having to cut people off has been coming up. Sometimes the company we keep can really hinder our growth and self-expression. The hanged man is about surrender and next to the ace of swords, I sometimes see this combo as maintaining no contact. Ghost could also be taken literally.

But I think Ghost is also talking about a tendency toward self sabotaging and shrinking yourself. This is the total opposite of the DF energy that I just channeled. Its like the past and your insecurities have a tendency to haunt you and keep you stuck. You may also try to make yourself invisible. In the guidebook, the word forgotten repeats itself twice for this card:

The Ghost lingers, forlorn and forgotten. Keywords: Hidden, Mystery, Forgotten, Spiritual Matters, Fears, Faith

You will need to work on your self-confidence. When you are more confident in yourself, you will be more confident in your decision making abilities. You will be more authentic with the way you present yourself to the world because it won't matter whether people approve or disapprove. You know who you are. With the 5 of cups, there could be something that you are still grieving or regretting but you can bounce back from this! Channel your inner phoenix and allow yourself to blossom. Its time to reinvent yourself!

Be open to all the great things life has to offer you. Guided meditations for gratitude and self-confidence/self-love could be very beneficial. Trust that the flow of life is always leading you to something wonderful. Trust that you are allowed to call the shots in your reality. Do your part then trust and let go.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is very spicy! She is popular and free-spirited. She knows that life has so many different adventures to offer and she does not let anything stop her from exploring them. This DF is likely to be single or somewhat noncommittal. She does not mind flying solo and knows she can always find another mate. She is also quite lucky and manifests fortunate events with ease. To channel this energy you will need to drop any dead weight and increase your confidence in yourself and your decision making abilities. You could benefit from some form of self-help resources like books and guided meditations. And if it is accessible to you, therapy, support groups, or other resources that will help your create a stronger you.

Pile 4

Off the bat: I am getting a pretty serious energy. Some domme energy or you could just be a pretty dominant woman. This could be describing you or your DF energy. I keep hearing strawberries and champagne. Is that even a real thing? I've never met anyone who enjoyed that combo.

4-Card Spread: 4 of Clubs, Jack of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, and Ace of Spades. Bottom of deck is Queen of Spades

I am still getting some of that super assertive and stern feminine energy. I could see your DF self working being a principal. I am also hearing headmaster/headmistress. I think she would love working with children but not in the traditional, mushy-gushy light feminine way. Its more of a "I have/enforce rules because I love you" type of energy . You believe in structure and order. If this isn't working with children, this could also apply to raising children. I could also see this DF running an orphanage. I did hear "rule the roost" while I was shuffling, so no matter how this resonates, you definitely are not afraid to lead.

You are generous and wise. Beneath the stern exterior is a lot of love and compassion. Your soft spots are not visible until you take a closer look at what you invest your time and energy into. This kind of energy could also attract less mature suitors, because it intimidates them yet they are so infatuated. You carry yourself with grace and probably won't entertain them. You are much more suited to be their mentor than anything.

Going back to the original domme energy I was getting. You may actually prefer partnerships that allow you to wear the pants. You don't really want a masculine energy coming in and dictating to you. You can run your own life just fine and would rather partner up with someone who can understand that. I don't think you want someone that is "weak" either, its more like you desire the cliche of the masculine that calls the shots in the board room but is more submissive/passive at home. They are secure enough to be with a feminine energy as strong as them.

Some of you as DF would be comfortable living a "nontraditional" life. Nontraditional as far as feminine energy is concerned anyway. You may prefer live-in partners, or life partners, over traditional marriage. You could identify with being poly or something similar. You would love to travel and always seek to broaden your horizons. This is the type of person you would expect to have "summer homes." You could also decide to not have children or you would want to wait on having/adopting children. You love living authentically because of how freeing it is to just be you. You don't care what outsiders think of your life because you know you are doing what works best for you.

Advice: 3 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, Queen of Wands (R). Bottom of deck is The Devil + Soil (Oracle)

To channel this DF energy more, you will need to master the art of not giving a shit. Some of you could be currently suppressing this energy. I really don't think its that far out of reach for all of you. Its just your fear that is keeping you trapped.

For some of you this trapped feeling is because you are in the closet. I am not telling you to come out because I don't know how that would impact your life. I want you to stay safe! However, maybe you can seek out queer friendly spaces. Or spaces that are supportive of whatever group you identify with.

There could also be a heartbreak that has left you questioning yourself. In the Tarot de Carlotydes, the 9 of swords is depicted as a woman chained in a dark room, with a flower in her hand and broken heart drawn on a piece of paper. I always see this card as being tortured over a disappointment. In this particular deck, I see as a mental prison that you feel trapped in because you are clinging to and rehashing an event. Holding onto this event keeps the pain fresh or recurring. It is time to release it.

Do not internalize other people's actions and shortcomings. It is not a reflection of you. You are who you decide to be. Do not dim your shine for anyone. Do not stunt your growth either. I'm not sure what it is that is holding you back but you have the potential to be the brightest star! You can be strong, and confident, and assertive. There is this little ball of power inside of you, that can grow if you allow it. Soil echoes the same message I am seeing in tarot. You must let yourself bloom:

The soil is a conduit of both growth and decay. Eyes forward, rooted to the past and reaching to the skies, she'll grow. Keywords: Balance, Forward, Growth, Duty, Building.

Some of you may use less than healthy tactics to cope. Maybe you should think of yourself like a plant. What are you fertilizing your soil with? What are you using for watering? Put the best in, get the best out.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a L-E-A-D-E-R, okay?! She calls the shots in every area of her life. Some suitors are attracted to her because their immaturity is infatuated with her self-assured, mature energy. However, she prefers an equally strong partner at her side but this does not mean she wants to be led. No, she wants someone that respects her as an equal but allows her to take the lead. She lives life on her terms, loves on her terms, and does not care what anyone else thinks of that. She does have a soft spot but that is not for everyone. This nurturing energy could be channeled into working with children in some capacity. In order to step into this energy, you will have to untether yourself from insecurity and heartbreak. You already have this power inside of you, its only a matter of letting it grow. You don't have to deny what you have been through or the way it impacts you, but it also does not have to hold you back. Replace your unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones.

As previously stated, I have a planned post that will expand on my views about feminine energy and other spiritual topics. I am really looking forward to sharing my thoughts and hope you all will chime in! I would love to start a discussion.

Until then ❤

~ K

[captain-clandestiny]

Hello, this is your g/t secret santa! Hope you're doing fine. I wanted to ask you if you could explain your likes/dislikes a bit more. Blue Sleeves is your own story/universe, right? Do you have any wishes or pointers for me (or just feel free to ramble about it if you want ^.^) Also I hope you're okay if I write something for you, I'm not that good an artist.

HII i am so sorry this week has been so busy aa i didnt see this 😭😭 ofc ofc that;s awesome!!! im so sorry aabdjshj i didnt know LMAO

Bluesleeves is indeed my own story! its a sci-fi military fiction, basically just kinda "what if there was an official branch dedicated to experimental technologies to be used in warfare and (questionably ethically) peacekeeping?" Half glorification of the incredible advancements of man, half satirical statement on the horrors of the military industrial system.

ill try to ramble about the whole plot here without spoiling anything below here lol. but whatever you wanna do go for it!! the whole thing is still a massive work in progress, so i encourage you to interpret the story as you wish!

So i'm sure that scrolling through the blog you're somewhat acquainted with the whole crew, but i'll give some short character descriptions of everyone here

Captain (also just goes by 'Cap,' true name to be revealed)

5'6" - she.her - white - dark blonde hair(usually up in a bun), hazel eyes

biological recombinant, lead subject of the Avian Task Force (ATF). specializes in a variety of skills, the most notable being reconnaissance, first aid, and long range combat.

basically just a random human woman with wings grafted onto her back lol. most of the story is just the corps figuring out what to do with her

sarcastic, spirited personality, though a bit oblivious and insensitive at times. could probably use some media training

has a strong moral compass when it comes to consequences of life/death. this often leads her to struggle with coworkers and the responsibilities of her occupation

prides herself in being a leadership figure, but likes to quarrel with higher-up commands too. she'll do what she thinks is right without thinking much about the collateral.

Lanning

~60' - he.him - mech - not really sure how to put the physical description for a robot lmao

big robot. yeah.

usually a no-nonsense, nonchalant figure, but will entertain an interaction outside of his productive hustle every now and then

maintains security operations when not deployed (both digital and perimeter security around HQ)

heavy support figure in combat, tertiary defense in more desperate scenarios

doesn't express a lot towards the mortality of organic creatures. his apathy is often regarded as his primary weakness by everyone else that knows him, though he personally disagrees with that.

would never admit it, but he feels a lot more than he expresses :(

---- Greyson ('Grey' for short, first name not yet revealed)

6'3" (but you can choose anywhere from 20'-90' if you wanna write him giant!! it varies throughout the story) - he.him - hispanic - dark hair(buzzed), chestnut brownish eyes

trial subject of the TITAN project, a force that is still very much in development with two other subjects in active operation (who are yet to be officially introduced, so you can ignore that for now if you want). just the government messing around with growth serums to make giant soldiers!!! what could go wrong here.. (famous last words)

important point!!! - his real appearance beneath the heavy tactical gear he always wears has not yet been revealed in official writing!!! so for now you can assume that no one's really seen his face underneath the mask

just kinda wears the generic army outfit : combat boots, cargo pants, tactical vest and headgear, etc.. customize bits as you desire, but he keeps his face concealed at all times!! since he doesn't show his face though, he usually makes his body language very visible to all he interacts with (doesn't have to try very hard though when he's big haha)

kinda quiet guy, speaks through his actions rather than words a lot. will speak up when it comes to professional proceedings or a formal discussion

quiet, but not shy!!! will grab you if you;re being an asshole with no consideration for personal space

big fitness nerd, always either working out or staring into space in his free time

its been hinted at that he carries a heavy trauma on his shoulders.. something prior to being inducted in the TITAN project that haunts his every move, but no one really knows... (yet. again, another thing that will later be officially revealed in the future)

General Malik

90' - he.him - white - light, buzzed hair, almost white-ish blue eyes

unhealthy complexion, very pale and malnourished features

a leading general of the Røzvivat insurrectionist forces, cooperative subject of their experimental faction (basically- giant general yippee!!)

cold, driven personality. the son of a foreign spy, taken as a child and raised in a Røzvivat indoctrination camp where he grew to become... the nightmare that cap meets today

unsettlingly interested in psychology and desires a modern education in strategies of deception

for now, is under heavy control of Røzvivat propaganda. will both kill and be killed for the 'global freedom' the High Houses promise they fight for

sneaky and manipulative, but not well versed in combat with someone of his same size!

Bluesleeves surrounds Captain's journeys in a world built upon lies and deception, painted as a patriotic fever dream. A modern gilded age of sorts. As an experimental soldier for the WFEO (Western Forces Experimental Operations, a broader branch including experimental factions from other countries) she pledges her life to the repair of international connections, and just kinda tries to survive each day. Whether it's a support mission gone awry or accidentally upsetting one of her looming coworkers, whatever you choose to do is up to you! If you want a list of hypothetical situations that the crew could go though to write about, just lmk <33 and however deep you want to delve into the themes of this story is entirely your choice!! if you wanna write something silly, fluffy, or bloody, just know i will love whatever you make, whoever you are!!! anything else i can provide to help (i know im not the best at rambling in a coherent fashion ahah) just send an ask i gotchu 🤙🤙 have fun!!

[viola-ophelia]

Celegorm told Thingol that he would marry Lúthien against her will. It is not a reach to say that includes the threat of rape

hi! i assume you’re referring to my tags on that silm poll.

first of all, even though i don’t share the idea that the celegorm/luthien situation included a threat of rape, i totally see where you’re coming from! i’m really not interested in debating that particular point because honestly, you’re completely right. i just personally feel that interpretations of the silm that require delving into tolkien’s outside writings (which is where the idea that elf marriage = elf sex comes from) is a bit of a reach because the silm is a complete and meaningful text on its own. but that’s just me! i know many people would disagree with me on this, and that’s why i will be the first to say that your interpretation here is totally valid.

but whether or not you think the celegorm/luthien situation involved a threat of rape, it’s clear that celegorm was very much in the wrong and his action was very much immoral. what i was trying to say in those tags is that i am much more interested in how huan’s decision to abandon celegorm at the moment that he did, and for the reason that he did, seems incongruous with the fact that he was complicit in all of celegorm’s previous immoral actions— up to and INCLUDING the capture of luthien.

huan followed celegorm from valinor through the first kinslaying and showed no signs of turning away from him at that point (at least, there’s no mention of it in the silm). one can even infer that he PARTICIPATED in the first kinslaying since he is, after all, a hunting hound, and since he was fully loyal to celegorm at that point. why did huan condone, and maybe even join in on, THIS immoral deed of celegorm’s, but draw the line at his treatment of luthien? why didn’t he leave his master at alqualonde? you could definitely argue that he wanted to give celegorm a second chance… but a kinslaying is an act of mass murder. that’s one heck of a second chance lol.

i also feel like it’s important to note that huan DIDN’T actually leave celegorm because he kidnapped luthien. huan was complicit in the kidnapping— in fact, he was the one who brought celegorm to luthien in the forest in the first place. he also followed along while celegorm and curufin took her captive and let them bring her back to nargothrond. why, if he was so against it, didn’t he attack celegorm as soon as he realized what was going on and prevent him from kidnapping her at all? huan did end up helping luthien break free, which would’ve been a GREAT time to abandon his master if he so chose. but instead, he returned right back to celegorm. huan doesn’t actually leave celegorm until the showdown in the forest between celegorm/curufin and beren/luthien. so if anything, his final straw is celegorm attacking beren, who was strangling curufin. but this sudden anti-violent stance seems really strange given his compliance during the first kinslaying.

again, i’m not at all saying that huan was wrong to leave celegorm. but i don’t think that huan chose to leave celegorm because he threatened to rape luthien— in fact, huan explicitly RETURNED to celegorm after the kidnapping, even though “their love was less than before.” honestly, it seems like huan simply decided that he was done with celegorm and would rather follow luthien instead. which is fair enough LOL! i definitely won’t say celegorm didn’t deserve it. but i have to be honest, it doesn’t really endear huan to me. his abandonment of celegorm seems like an attempt to absolve himself of celegorm’s evil deeds (at the expense of his own loyalty), but since he had already stood by and supported said deeds, i don’t think it does a very good job of absolution.

[lirhyapetitpain]

The events of Immortal Hulk depict a timeloop in which a desperate message from the end of all things reaches Sam and he takes that message to enact the events we see unfold, preventing the destruction of all.

Where do you feel Sam, who wanted to bring about this calamity, went wrong and ended up preventing the One Below All from claiming Banner?

Hah, that's a good question. I hope we'll now more about this, how did it reach Sam, of all the universe and time and people and infinite possibilities ? Is it because he was the only one who could prevent it or was it an accident ? Did he, somehow, was smart enough to intercept it himself ? Why did he want to bring a future where he's dead too considering the One Below All is the last entity remaining ? Did he even fail ? We don't know, the future he witnessed is so far away, TOBA/TOAA is still here so it can still happen, Immortal Hulk's ending is an open door (pun intended), it's not an ending and it left our characters with choices, all of them. Bruce is still wondering if he's going on the right path, Sam is no longer the Leader, they both can still pick a different path and it's up to other writers to write that and with all the references to Tamuz and Green Doors we get in Phillip Kennedy Johnson's run I really don't think the Green Door story is over, so far we can't really tell if that calamity was really prevented imo.

As for what Sam did wrong, as always his own arrogance, I guess he was bold enough to think he could trick TOBA itself and kinda become it and get its power, as he called himself a God (of hate) which TOBA is. And he did become that but not as intended, he was the puppet and not the puppeteer, TOBA's mask, possessed like a simple tool. Sam is connected to Bruce, they share a destiny and it seems TOBA needs both of them, something Sam failed to see 'cause he thought Bruce was the one and only missing link for the gamma flow or whatever when it was apparently him. They both have a part to play in this future and if anything so far Sam totally served TOBA's goal. After all Sam could manipulate the Green Door way easier than Brian and I don't think it's because he's smarter, Sam was always able to possess Gamma irradiated (Omnibus) and always able to create connexion with them (Rick, Bruce), he just never realized he could, it was an "accident" each time, even if when he reached Bruce he says that "somehow, through some door" (so Bruce's door) he was able to reach him. Sam always had access to it (and he's not the only one, I don't know if you ever read Al Ewing's first Defender run with Red Harpy but you should). Same for the shapeshifting, Sam had a shit tons of transformations already and being able to shapeshift is just the natural evolution of his manipulative power and liar personality so to me everything he got through TOBA's power is just a better advanced controle over his own, not a new one. Sam is about hate and so is TOBA, Sam is a connexion, he's not the host it was planning to keep but the connexion between gamma and irradiated it needed to reach Bruce. Or at least that's how I see it. Just like how Jackie is the eyes and can see the truth (I'll develop that one day, the link between truth and gamma), Bruce the strength and destruction etc etc to me the main irradiated all have a specific role to play, kinda like a chest game. As such I would say Bruce is the King, the one needed piece, Sam the Queen, the one that can make every moves and will kinda create the path y'know (I should draw them all as chest pieces now that I think of it...), you get my point. And ironically through his own over confidence he understimated himself and his role in this calamity, leading (lol) him to his own demise.

Anyway, feel free to ask more about the lore even if it's unrelated to art ! It makes me very happy to talk about that and feel free to agree or disagree, my answer is mostly interpretation, as I said Immortal Hulk ending is an open door and it left us free to have our own interpretation and that's something I really love about this story, while it gives us a real story with a beginning and an ending, we are free to have our own vision. Hulk forgiving Sam was a perfect exemple of this with Savage being for forgivness, Jackie being against it and refusing to forgive him and Joe being like "heh idk I guess that depends on what he'll do next" so you could relate to yes, no, maybe. And I think having a story ending with such endless possibilities is great so I really don't mind earing your own version of it, you or anyone else. That's why when I commission an artist to draw Sam I let them free, I don't want them to draw MY interpretation, I want them to draw THEIRS, I love sharing headcanon and theories with people. In fact the way I see Sam (and Hulk's lore) changed so much through people's own interpretation, it's truly fascinating and it's what a fandom should be about, sharing. Oh it doesn't mean you have to agree and adopt these headcanons, far from it, but other people's headcanons won't prevent you from having your own different ones and listening to others can bring very good point you didn't necessarly think about. As much as I love Sam and as much as I know everything about him, comics lore is way too inconsistant to have only one truth and one vision about a character.

[helloanthy]

Hii

How are you? Hope you're doing good. I want to say that I love your art and it's a huge inspiration for me :D

I also really love your metas! Especially about transmasc Nanami. I was wondering...in this interpretation, what would Tsuwabukis role be in the story? Would Keiko (and the others) still follow Nanami around, or would the 3 spectacles guys be a replacement entourage? Personally I think Nanami is too good for them lol

Also, what do you think of transfem Saionji and (possibly trans) Wakaba? Or Wakaba and Anthy?

Feel free to ignore if you don't want to answer, I just really appreciate your thoughts!

{Slightly off topic, but THANK YOU for your takes on A:TLA. As someone who did enjoy the show when I first watched it, it irks me to no end when fans think of it as the pinnacle of representation. I'm mentally begging them to watch a different show}

Thanks, again!

hello hello ! im alright anon, thank u ! i hope ur doing good as well thank u thank for ur kind words, im happy u enjoy my anthys 💜 to be honest i did not think that far into that AU. canon tsuwabuki ... maybe instead of putting nanami in danger to be more like touga he's nanami TWO ✌🏼 and is what transmasc nanami is to touga ? as in he chooses to emulate nanami as a prince and is still his little stooge ? haha. maybe instead of putting nanami in danger tsuwabuki would set up scenarios that puts other female students in danger in front of nanami for nanami to "save". to show off his princeliness ??? im sure nanami would still get mad if he found that out because its so much trouble hahaha or ... if tsuwabuki is a girl she would come up with schemes to put herself in seemingly mortal danger in front of nanami ? i think nanami could still have aiko keiko and yuuko in this AU. i agree that nanami is too good for those spectacle guys hahaha ... theyr way too boring ... for me .... perhaps the only difference for their motivations being friends with nanami in this AU is that. theyr settling for the lesser brother. similar to canon, how they are friends with nanami for her connection with touga. but thinking about it, isn't this ... a bit sadder though ? transfem saionji & wakaba ... lets take this opportunity to throw wakaba in with juri in the unrequited sapphic storyline club hahaha. iv always liked to interpret wakaba in canon to actually have a crush on utena but is completely unaware of it because of comphet. i do also truly think she had a crush on saionji too so if i had to label her i do think shes bisexual. but i cant help wanting to lesbianise everything can i ? and i think itd be fun ... an explicit love triangle [is it a love triangle if neither saionji or utena romantically love wakaba back 🥲 sobs] between them trans wakaba ... i feel like this would need an entirely different post to be honest. but ... one thought i have. perhaps of nonbinary wakaba. the binary narrative sidelines them because this story is not about that. well ... it IS but not in the way that wakaba is. does that make sense ? metaphor how nonbinary genders are invisible under heteropatriarchy ? while utena is gender nonconforming her gender as she herself states in the show is still binary. i dont know if that explaination makes a difference to anybody reading though. though theres a lot of directions i feel i could go with this. im having too many thoughts about it so im going to need to put a lid on it for now 😅 aaa, lastly, i dont think i really had any "takes" on ATLA ? just that i called it orientalist and that i dont really like it as much as RGU ... surprisingly though, a lot of people disagree with calling it orientalist ? really odd. thats like disagreeing with me saying the sky is black. but i have also learned from others on here that the "casual" definition of orientalism is conflated with anti-asian racism, so i guess i understand ... ? [even still though i do think ATLA has facets of anti-asian racism. but i doubt people who dont even know the origin of orientalism could understand that] also its odd to call ATLA "representation" to me. its not representation at all. well ... i mean. i guess it could be called "asian representation" the same way berserk is "european representation"

[charcubed]

Hello, "gay Castiel" anon here 👋

Thanks for taking the time to respond ❤️ I appreciate your thoughts.

I just want to respond and give my own thoughts now that I've read your response. Sorry that's it's so long, and feel free to ignore. I just want to get this out to somebody lol. I won't address EVERYTHING, just the highlights:

Your response did help me understand the gay!Cas interpretation more, esp since you are right about there being so many instances in canon of him being specifically gay coded.

However, and I hope this doesn't sound demeaning in any way, but I think the reason I don't prefer the label "gay" for Cas is cuz it feels too limiting.

Gay (as I understand it) is a person who identifies as male who is sexually/romantically interested in other men. So...

1) I don't necessarily accept that Cas identifies strictly as "male." I agree that he's comfortable in his male body, as you stated, and I know that the story of Dean&Cas wouldn't have played out the way it did if he hadn't taken a male vessel. But all that aside, I think Cas' attitude towards gender is probably very fluid compared to our society's typical binary. Compared to humans, his species and gender is Other™.

I personally prefer this idea cuz I relate to it more. I have a female body that I'm perfectly happy with, and I don't mind ppl seeing me that way; I don't have dysphoria. But at the same time, I don't have a strong feeling of "I AM a woman" if that makes sense. If I woke up as a man tomorrow, I'd be fine with that. I see Cas in a similar way: He likes his body and is attached to it, but he doesn't necessarily feel that it being male is essential to who he is or his identity.

I feel that while Cas is in a male body and is happy with it, his gender identity most likely exists outside of the human binary construct. Automatically, this makes him more umbrella "queer" to me rather than gay.

2) And also, as I said in my earlier ask, I think Cas' sexuality is just: in love with Dean. There are moments in the show that COULD be interpreted as feeling arousal or attraction to women, imo. But I don't see any moments that would suggest he's attracted to men other than Dean.

So to me, this suggests he is demi (for Dean, specifically) rather than blanket gay.

I understand the gay coding (like "sensible shoes," for instance) are about being gay specifically. But I also think those tropes have traditionally been applied to human male characters. Since Cas is not human (does not have our human standards for gender), not a typical "male" (nonbinary, imo), and not seemingly attracted to men in general (just Dean), those moments just reinforce that Cas is queer – "gay" is just too narrow a definition to encompass all that he is (imo!)

Anyway. Those are my thoughts. This is all my personal interpretation, and I am NOT saying ppl have to agree with this!! But I have decided (with your help, thanks) that people can't tell me I'm wrong either 😊 based on what canon supports, it's totally fine to NOT label Cas as "gay."

Thanks again for your thoughts. I love your meta and shit ✌️

(Anon is referencing this post with their previous ask and my long answer)

Hi gay Castiel anon!! Thank you for returning to meeee :') Really happy to know my answer made its way to you!

And thank you for sharing your thoughts!!! I honestly don't disagree with any of this. I do think all your points are fairly valid so I just want to reiterate that. And as I said in my post I certainly think "queer" can be and is applicable to Cas both for the reasons I had laid out and for the fact that there is very much room to see complexities in his queerness because he's an angel–as you've laid out here.

As a non-binary person myself I also totally get the vibe of what you're discussing. I want to add a side note that in the "real life," as it were, there are plenty of non-binary people who do align with the label of "gay" even without identifying as a man or a woman. It's not inherently limited by binary gender. (I say this as a reminder more for the benefit of anyone who may read this public post rather than to you, because I'm sure you know.) But does that mean Cas would align with it as a word/label? Not necessarily, obviously, in the reasons and ways you've described.

Glad you feel more certain in not being "wrong" and I'm really happy my post helped you come to that certainty 💕

Thanks again for sharing!

[sweetalnazar]

Hey-o everyone, while it’s great ppl are trying to support Muslim fans & get their views, i would rly appreciate it if maybe i’m not made as anyone’s go-to opinion on this 😅

Certainly, i have my own views but i honestly cannot handle a lot of discourse & discussion like that rn so i’m taking a break from the Arcana fandom for a while

[joejoeba]

What are we 🤔

I dunno, something great, I bet! 🤗

Ramble (personal) (warning) ⬇️

So I dont like disagree with any kind of interpretation of two mafia boys who hang out a lot. Yeah, they're really brotherly! Yeah, they're besties too! Yeah, they could be a little more intimate than that at the same time! But people act like you have to choose just one dynamic, and it excludes the rest kinda? And idk how to feel about *that*. (Yeah obviously these two are just a vessel for my complex thoughts rn bear with me lol (or not, u can leave I wont blame u).

THE PERSONAL feel free to skip

I have people in my life who I consider family, who still dont fall into a traditional family dynamic (and especially not *my* actual biological family dynamic). I also have ppl that I love a lot that still wouldnt be considered "traditionally romantic", which is kind of an inevitability since nothing about me is traditional anyway, and I can't really help that. I've already struck out on most of these category qualifications (no attachment to biological family dynamics, non-monogamous, non-sexual) so I'm never gonna understand or fit in those super defined boxes.

UNPERSONAL AGAIN

Also thinking about on one hand, "non-American views on intimacy" and "non-modern-Christian-nuclear family dynamic". As in, firstly, just because you are physically affectionate with someone doesnt mean its inherently romantic if that's not the intent behind it. A lot of cultures are much more physical than what you see on (largely americanized) TV and the internet, and people are way too quick to put a sexual/romantic label on ANY act of physical intimacy. Secondly, found family is the best, but that doesnt mean it has to follow the traditional western family model (I'd argue that it shouldn't). Two boys who see each other as family despite only knowing each other for like a year wouldn't act the same as two boys who grew up together from day 1. Why would they? Why would you put the same lens on both? I have a specific distaste for "haha REAL siblings are constantly mean to each other youd know if you REALLY had siblings" because no?? Your experiences are not universal???

And like man, isnt Bucci Gang specifically about being the people on the fringe of society who don't fit in with the common understanding? I know the jokey view is Mom, Dad and 3 rowdy sons but it's never gonna be that clean-cut with people like that. Its defined by literally nothing but themselves, bc no one else would ever really get it, and no one else has to. That's queer found family culture BABEY.

So idk, I like my boys in a specific dynamic that doesnt really have a label, nor does it need one?? Cant they just be the way they are without needing other people to understand it fully? Interpersonal relationships are way more complex than 3 categories. And I'm sure everyone gets that, I am by no means galaxy braining right now, but sometimes you just gotta ramble about the unexpected inspirations you get from badly animated anime boys.

[cautionworks]

My Official HxH Ships List

As a Multi-shipper I ship different characters with other characters. The same applies to my favorite series Hunter x Hunter. My ships are what people can consider “Problematic” and some would be one of the mainstream ships that are overrated like (Killugon). Not to say Killugon is a bad thing to ship, anybody can view the characters how they please. You can think of it as a friendship or you can think of it of something more. I divided my ships into three categories. ships I love, like, and ships I’m not into but support it if someone ships it.

HUNTER X HUNTER SPOILERS AFTER ELECTION ARC

IF YOU’RE READING THIS I ASSUME YOU WATCHED THE WHOLE ANIME AND READ BITS OF THE MANGA

HxH Ships I love:

Ships that I’m active about. Ships I’m willing to make edits ,write fanfictions, and draw.

1. Hisogon (Hisoka x Gon)

Art by https://twitter.com/mp_annn/status/1313158532108148736

Hisogon the most NOTP paring in the HxH fandom and yet has so much fanfiction and fanart. Hisogon remains to be one the biggest ships in the fandom yet it is frown upon because of the age gap. I choose this pairing as number 1 because it was literally the first pairing that came to mind. The other ships on this list came much later. Why do I ship it? While mainly based on how I think they can actually be good friends. I like their dynamic in the show and how it is interpreted through the fanfiction I’ve read. I’m fully aware this ship is toxic but if you stop and think about it, you realize that most of the hxh ships are toxic. I’m not saying all but most. All the main stream ships like Hisoillu, Hisomachi, and Killugon (just to name a few) are toxic. The most non toxic ship I could think of would be Komugi x Meruem and Ponzu x Pocckle. But I don’t care if this ship is downright toxic. The content I choose to see of this pairing is mostly wholesome and angst free. Every Shipper is different and my preferences are different. Another reason why I put this in number 1 was to give an idea what kind of ships I like and its easy for the person who disagrees with me to block me. I rather be blocked than to hear the opinions of why they don’t like what I’m saying. If you’re a chill person you wouldn’t care and move on.

2.Killugon (Killua x Gon)

Source of Artwork https://www.tumbral.com/blog/snorkack-x-yokai

Didn’t think they would be on this list? Huh. Well believe it or not I ship Killugon as well. But there's one point I’d like to make before I go on. For me I separate whats canon and whats fanon. What do I mean by that? A lot of Killugon shippers tend to say Killugon is canon or will be canon based sources they find. I think its valid to think a ship that could possibly be canon, but even as a Killugon shipper I think Killugon will never be canon and it should stay that way. When I first watched the 2011 anime I thought of Gon and Killua as friends. And I think Togashi intended Killua and Gon to be just friends. But my idea of them just being friends changed. Once I start to re-watch again and notice some things I overlooked, I start to ship them but by holding back. Once I read some good fanfiction of them I started to accept the fact I like the idea of them being together so I ship away. (LOL) But I”ll say it again, I think they’ll never be canon and it should stay that way. I wouldn’t reject anyone for thinking a ship would be canon. But I think the story should stay as the author intended it with the exception if the story is executed wrong. Even with that any creator can do whatever the hell they want with their work/creation.

3.Hisomachi (Hisoka x Machi)

Not my art. All I did was color it. Original Art link By https://twitter.com/__shr/status/763726849310470144?lang=bn

This pairing just feels right to be in third place for me.You see in terms of canon I think there could be a chance where they might’ve actually slept with each other. Out of the four ships here I think Hisomachi in this list is most likely gonna happen. It just makes sense. I’m not saying its gonna be romantic and wholesome. But more of a friends (Enemies) with benefits or a give or take relationship. With any ship I like, I prefer it to be nice and wholesome to an extent. But lets be real here, knowing how Machi treats Hisoka its likely that  they’ll be at each others throats by the end of the series. I feel like since Hisoka is after the spiders I think Hisoka will save Machi for last. Maybe give her a last kiss before he eliminates her. Another thing I like about this pairing is the story material there is to paint a interesting relationship. Hisoka, the spiders, Heavens arena, Kurapika, and Chrollo. It’s just perfect for a good smutty and angsty Fanfiction. But besides that I like this ship a lot and if you’re interested more Hisomachi Content I suggest you check out! @itsmyara​

4.Hisoillu (Hisoka x Illumi)

Could not find the artist.

The biggest reason why I like this ship is just because of an artist named pen.lilixeesketche. Their comics is what feed my Hisoillu fuel. They make funny, witty, wholesome, smutty and sad comics. They nail Hisoka’s and Illumi character every time they post hisoillu content. Also there is a possible chance they could be canon but like I said Hisomachi is the winner in this case IMO. So even though Its last place on this list I still appreciate this pairing. But you should still check this artists work, its amazing!

HxH Ships I like:

Ships that I like the idea of and would may or may not contribute something to it. There’s a lot of ships that I like that’s close to what I love. But I think ships I love should be reserved for a special place. Hence why I divided my ships into three categories.

1. Kuraneon (Kurapika x Neon)

Art By https://www.instagram.com/yunqi.16/

I used to dislike Kuraneon funny enough. I never thought of Kurapika and Neon together until someone told me about it once. And let me tell you they did not say nice things about it at all. So I developed a dislike for this ship but I never actively hate on it. At the same time I disliked Neon very much ( because she is annoying) and the idea of a flesh collector being in a relationship with Kurapika of all people did not sit well with me. So I never shipped them together and when I see people ship them I automatically mark them as weird crack shippers. That all change when I started speaking to a lovely mutual of my @thelovelyghostwriter​

She literally changed my mind on how I perceive the ship and despite what people say its not that bad of a ship if you think about it. Theres much more darker ships in HxH like Tserreidnich x Theta and yet no one says shit. Where is all the hate for Tserreidnich x Theta? There's is no hate for that ship because most HxH fans are usually anime only and don’t read the manga after Election arc ends. And its usually (NOT ALL) Leopika shippers. Or Kurapika stans who thinks Kurapika is trans and therefore can’ be with Neon. Or some other ridiculous reason that I can’t think of. So wasting time on hating a specific ship is not worth it at all. Its okay to dislike a ship. If someone shows content you don’t like the best course of action would be to just block like a normal person.

2.  Hisokura (Hisoka x Kurapika)

Art By https://twitter.com/saucepanwok/status/1016284574983151621

My mutual @thelovelyghostwriter​  came up with a funny nickname for the duo.  “Spider Hunter Buddies​“ That alone works on so many levels. For one they both took and passed the Hunter Exam together. Two they both are hunting the spiders (The Phantom Troupe). Three they’re kind buddies (More like Allies). And there's cute fanart of this pairing like this one. So with this ship I see nowhere near canon more like a smut Fanfic adventure with these two. Although I would love to see someone write a fic about it. Gah! I like this ship a lot so thats why its in second place. While this was in the drafts Killunary was going second not third.

3.Killunary (Killua x Canary)

Could not find the artist.

If I were to choose a female character for Killua hands down it would be Canary! Canary is one of my favorite female characters in HxH besides Machi and Bisky. Because she is loyal to the Zoldyck household I do not have a doubt in my mind she would use the best of her ability to protect Killua. And shes one of the few girls Killua is chill with. Plus there's the fanart with this pairing is really wholesome to look at. And surprisingly there's a good chunk of fanfics on A03 so I’m happy someone likes this ship enough to draw and write. Plus Canary is a certified badass, she and Killua would be a power couple if not Gon.

4. Hisoka x Kalluto (Hisoka x Kalluto)

Could not find the artist.

The only reason this ship is even on this list was because of one fanfiction I read. It took one well written fic to convince me to like this ship. Kalluto is underrated character next to Ikalgo IMO. I think he deserves more fanfics about him and is in need of some love because he obviously dose not get any from his family and that says a lot about the family. The Zoldycks probably have favoritism amongst their children. So why not get some of the attention from Hisoka. Now that would be a interesting fanfic now I think about.

“Kalluto the youngest child, lacks the attention from his family. He follows his mother around to please her and acts as her shadow. He trains harder than any of his siblings and yet still remains no of interest to his parents. He’s practically a ghost. Soon he gets the attention of eccentric clown.”

Now if someone were to write about it or knows a good fic for this pairing let me know!

Hisoka seems to show an interest in Kalluto’s power in greed island. I would love to see these characters interact more in the show. As I’m writing this I am having a deja vu moment because I feel like I already talked about Kalluto online somewhere. Weird...

Unfortunately the fanfic I talked about hasn’t updated for a while now so hopefully if you like this paring check out their fic here. https://archiveofourown.org/works/25911463/chapters/62972452

5. Hisokillu (Hisoka x Killua)

Artist not found (Recently deleted)

These transumters were gonna to pop up at some point. Just like with Kalluto I started to ship them together because of a fanfic I read. But in this case this ship has quite a few fanfics and more fanart than Kalluto will ever have. Because of the fanfics I’ve read Its difficult to see them in any wholesome way. As much I wanna see them in a wholesome setting, the fanfics I’ve read made it a dark ship for me. Its nowhere near as dark as (Tserreidnich x Theta) but every time I think of the pairing dark shit enters my brain.

But the interesting thing I’ve seen from this ship is how the writers write Killua’s and Hisoka’s dynamic withe each other. Killua is a mature boy but I think hes underdeveloped in socializing with people. And thats completely his parents fault. Its no wonder why Killua acts rudely to strangers especially to Older women. Which I believe his mothers fault for him having negative interactions with Older woman (Bisky, Elevator girl, Tsubone) So what does that have to with Hisoka, well Killua tries to act like an adult. Especially around Hisoka. However the kid side of Killua comes out. You would think Hisoka would be interested in fun games since essentially hes kinda of a child inside a mans body.

But In the fanfic he doesn’t seem to be interested in Killua ways of fun. A good example of this was in a chapter in greed island. Hisoka and Killua were in a motel and Alcohol was present somewhere. Killua starts to drink in order to convince Hisoka he “mature enough”. We as fans of hxh know Killua is immune to poison. Alcohol is a type of toxin which is close to a poison. So I think he wouldn’t get drunk. However Hisoka is not impressed with Killua drinking alcohol and makes him stop.

Since Killua is next in comparison to Gon I think he will always be number 2 when it comes to shipping Hisoka with young characters like Gon or kalluto. Now I feel bad calling Killua a close second. Oh well...

6. Gon x Kite (Gon x (Normal) Kite or (Chimera) Kite)

Art By https://www.zerochan.net/861714

If Gon selling his life away for Kite is not love then I don’t know what love is...JK (Lmao)

But still... the fact knowing Kite will die makes this harder to even ship this pairing in the first place. I like this ship because of a fanfic I read (I literally said that for half of the ships here on this list)

It’s obvious that Kite is important to Gon. So the ways this feeling of importance can be interpreted can be really cool. The fact I feel more attached to Kite because of a fanfic probably says a lot about the 2011 anime adaptation is. I’m well aware of the fact that Kite appears on the first chapter of the Hunter x Hunter manga. And Kite also appears in the first episode of the 1999 adaptation . But for some reason he only appear in Chimera Ant arc. I do not understand why the writers for this show choose to go that direction oh well. I

7. Hisoka x Bisky 

Not my art. All I did was color it. Original Art link By https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/25204567

Just why the hell not? Its obvious she wants him. Their both consenting adults. And I think if in GI (Greed Island) and if Hisoka was in the mood for it he’ll definitely will take up on Bisky’s offer. Also he likes strong opponents so I don’t see why he would be turned off by her if anything he should be interested in her. He had no problem asking Machi to sleep with him so whats wrong with Bisky? Plus I have feeling he has a thing for L01i’s aka Bisky ( I don’t want to get flagged by tumblr by adding that word) I also read a few fics on this pairing and its not as bad as I thought it would be. (Just saying)

8. Palm x Killua

Art by https://yahinata.tumblr.com/post/190315239746

When I saw the ship name somewhere online I immediately knew this could be a interesting pairing under specific circumstances. I think Palm can serve as a kinda hurt/comfort character for Killua since he cried like a ̷b̷i̷t̷c̷h̷  for Gon. So I think In CA (Chimera Ant arc) when Killua is vulnerable I think she could comfort him in her own way. (Le sexe) This idea would be good for a fanfic. I don’t think they should be together but I would diffidently read a hurt/with comfort smut of this pairing. Plus I like how Palm better when she turned into a ant solider. She turned out to be really pretty and a cool person. I’m not sure if her personality was the same before when she was fully human. Also I like this scene a lot, where Killua thanks Palm. But I edited it by adding a blush to Killua’s cheeks. Just because. (I swear by the end of this I might start actively shipping them)

9. Knov x Palm

Art by https://perunikaart.tumblr.com/post/616034682983907328/i-was-commissioned-by-ladyoflosgar-to-draw-palm

I’m a firm believer that if Palm just got laid by Knov she would’ve stop harassing Gon and Killua that’s just my opinion. Also it’s obvious that she likes him so I can see it happening. Plus I see the student/teacher dynamic between them and they’re both adults so why not. I’m interested to see how Palm as chimera ant, how her body will be compatible with Knov. Now that would be an interesting fanfic.

10. Ponzu x Pocckle

Art By https://hxhhasmysoul.tumblr.com/post/627666494594088960/hello-new-otp-goodbye-new-otp

And finally we have our first non toxic ship Ponzu x Pocckle! It just makes sense okay. They look cute together and we saw how she looked at Pocckle during CA. They both seemed to be interested in the same things like animals and nature stuff. So I think this ship could be canon if Togashi didn’t kill them off. Rest in Peace. Hopefully if there's a hunter heaven in their world let them have happiness.

HxH Ships I support or okay with:

Ships that are not my cup of tea but okay with people shipping it.(May or May not start to actively ship it)

1. Tserreidnich x Theta (MAY NOT)

Source of Art https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/3984582

*Sighs* Where do I even begin?

Okay so I know this pairing exist because of a friend who ships them. I didn’t even know who Theta was because I only read the manga up until Hisoka fought Chrollo. Thats where I left off. But before that volume I know who Tserreidnich is. And let me tell you, I do not like this man at all. He gives me such eerie feelings that made me uncomfortable holding the manga book. As much as Hisoka is creepy as hell in the anime and manga Tserreidnich is 20x worse IMO. If I had to choose who to be stuck in a room with. Hisoka Hisoka Hisoka.

Okay so if  read the manga after Election arc then you know what I’m talking about. Plus my friend always say their relationship is similar like Hannibal and Clarice from The Silence of the Lambs. After I finally watched the film I can see why its similar. Its no surprise to me that Tserreidnich is mentally unstable person just like Hannibal. Clarice is a cop and is independent and strong female. I get that same vibe with Theta.  Plus she is his bodyguard so it makes sense.

2. Feitan x Kalluto (MAY NOT)

Art by https://rouvere.tumblr.com/post/131196390149/you-cant-walk-back-in-this-condition

Okay so heres my take on Feitan and Kalluto..Yay...(Note the sarcasm). I’m just get this out there. I’m not against the ship and I can see it happen. However I don’t think its likely just like with Hisoka. I can see they have this goth aesthetic going on and after finding out that Feitan could possibly be into L01i’s makes the ship more possible. They look similar with their dark clothes.  Because Feitan is older and a lot stronger than Kalluto I can see Kalluto idolizing him to an extent. And I would read a fanfic about it. (I would read anything at this possible (thats a lie)).

3. Leopika (Kurapika x Leorio) (MAY NOT)

Source of Art https://tdgall.com/index.php?m=0&document_srl=58716929

I actually used to ship them together because I use to think of Kurapika as a feminine man. The fandom made Kurapika come off as either a gay, trans or androgynous character who can only be shipped with Leorio. So because of the many fanfictions, fanart I’ve read, it made me think Kurapika is probably queer. If someone thinks that Kurapika is that way I have no problem with it. Everyone has their interpretation to the characters they like. Just as long they don’t act like a typical Killugon shipper who thinks Killugon is canon and nothing otherwise. Besides that do I still ship them? Not anymore but if you or someone dose thats okay.( I would be surprised if you made this far into reading)

So that concludes my feelings for that ship. I would never contribute it unless its my best friend favorite ship. Sheesh I don’t think there's a ship I don’t like wait I do, just keep reading the list until you find out.

4. Meruem x Komugi (MAY!)

Art By https://lulu2222.tumblr.com/post/90103086985/komugi-x-meruem-their-future-i-wanted-to-draw

This is one of my favorite Komugi x Meruem Fan art. IMO its beautiful as Komugi cradles their child. This pose reminds me of how Komugi held Meruem before his death. Hence why I love this fanart so much and choose this as the picture.

Anyway fully support it. If you love it or don’t that’s A okay.

4. Retz (with either Gon or Killua) (MAY!)

Retz is like the last girl I want with Gon and Killua. She and Killua have similar issues with their controlling older brothers so Ima say they would make a good hurt/comfort fic.

6. Kurakuro (Kurapika x Chrollo) (MAY NOT)

Art By https://seisans.home.blog/2018/08/17/hamletmachine-my-drawing-for-the-kurokura-zine/

Same thing with Leopika I don’t ship it. I just don’t. For once I don’t ship characters that hate each other. Fine if someone likes it.

7. Allugon (Alluka x Gon )

I can see it. Gon is a gentleman and it would be funny to see how protective Killua can be for his sibling.

8. Alluka x Zushi (MAY NOT)

Could not find the artist.

Same thing with Zushi but less enthusiastic about it. I’ve only seen a few fanart of this paring. I think its alright. Sorry for the lack of input I’m putting for these ships. It just rarely interests me. It would take a cool story for me to start to actively ship them.

9.Killua x Alluka (MAY!)

Art by https://www.zerochan.net/1364495

This fanart is actually one of my favorite Killua x Alluka fanart. It just looks perfect.

Funny enough before I watched Election Arc I kept seeing Killua with Alluka but I didn’t know who Alluka is. So I thought when Alluka kissed Killua’s cheeks I thought Alluka was his girlfriend. So with that assumption alone I shipped them.

For this ship to happen Killua would have to be really horny and lonely to get it on with Alluka. Other than that I don’t see this happening. I would need to see good fanfic and fanart to change my mind.

10.Illukillu (Killua x Illumi) (MAY NOT..Just no I would have to be in a sad mood to want a read fic of this pairing)

Could not find the artist.

[makeste]

regarding Best Jeanist, Dabi, and all of that

@kaleswagdragon​ I hope you don’t mind me posting this comment and my response as its own post, seeing as it quickly got out of hand and sort of morphed into a whole entire essay.

anyway, so! you say that it’s a mischaracterization, but it’s really not, though. I mean, props for bringing up the cultural context of Japan, in which the honne-tatemae culture of covering up anything that might lead to any sort of conflict -- even if it means harming an innocent victim in the process -- is a very real issue. so given that, I understand why so many people are interpreting Jeanist’s statement in a “how dare you bring this family shame to light” sort of way. and Caleb’s “dirty laundry” translation doesn’t help, given the “we’re more embarrassed than actually concerned about this” feel of that particular phrase, which he apparently chose just because of the clothing pun without really giving much thought to any other implications.

but in the actual Japanese, the meaning/context is somewhat different. here’s a link to a twitter thread clarifying the original spoiler translation, and breaking down the actual Japanese dialogue.

I think the meaning here is very clearly “you waited until the public’s faith in heroes was already wavering to bring this down on them as a final blow.” if he was simply criticizing Dabi for publicizing the Todoroki family drama, he would have stopped with that first sentence. the two sentences afterward (“you waited until everyone’s faith in heroes was wavering, when the damage would be too great to handle”) make it clear that what he’s actually calling Dabi out for is the way that he basically weaponizes his story into the perfect political tool to finally take down the heroes. which is an observation that we as the readers can verify for ourselves as being true. look at how he so carefully edited the footage of Twice’s death. look at the contrast between the way he acts in the video, compared with the homicidal glee we see from the actual Dabi in real time.

Jeanist is notably the only one who is able to get the same perspective as the readers here, since he’s the only person who’s physically present in Jakku with the real Dabi, but is also able to hear the video being broadcast. meaning that he’s able to hear both video!Dabi’s calm, prerecorded “I’m just a concerned citizen trying to look out for a society being taken advantage of by the ones charged with protecting it” speech, and actual!Dabi’s “hahaha fuck you Endeavor I’m bringing the whole country down even as we speak, well anyway time to kill you all” reality. he alone can see that stark contrast between the concerned whistleblower act Dabi is putting onscreen, versus his true attitude of “I don’t actually give a fuck, I just want to eradicate the heroes and make my dad suffer.” basically, Jeanist is the only one who can see that juxtaposition, and see Dabi’s reveal for what it really is, seeing as Dabi literally spelled it out for Endeavor and the others. and so he’s calling him out on that.

and he’s not wrong to do so. it’s clear that a lot of fans vehemently disagree with this, but being an abuse survivor doesn’t excuse you from having the same obligation as every other human being on the planet to try your best to be a decent person, which at minimum means not going out of your way to hurt other people. I say this as someone who’s experienced abuse, which shouldn’t need to be a disclaimer honestly, but I guess that’s how it is these days. anyways, though, I have, and I know a lot of other people who have as well. it’s a terrible, awful, exceptionally shitty thing to experience, and it affects everyone in different ways. and every single person who goes through something like that deserves help and support and time to heal, and it’s a tragedy and an injustice that Dabi, from what we have seen, never got any of that.

but that doesn’t excuse him from still being held to the same basic standard of “hurting other people is shitty” as everyone else. it doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. it doesn’t mean that anyone who says “hey, Dabi using his trauma as an excuse to murder people is kind of fucked up” is an abuse apologist. and it doesn’t mean Horikoshi is an abuse apologist for writing him that way, for that matter, because guess what? sometimes people who are abused grow up to become abusers. that’s just a fucked-up thing that happens sometimes. and pretending like it doesn’t is ironically not all that different from that whole “sweeping things under the rug” concept you mentioned earlier. it does happen, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that, because acknowledging it is one of the necessary steps to take in fixing it.

this attitude of “if someone was abused they should be absolved of responsibility for their actions” that I’ve seen in some posts is taking the concept of “abuse often has a profound impact on people’s mental health, and that should be taken into consideration before judging them too harshly for behavior that they can’t always necessarily control”, and twisting it into this nice little loophole that people can use to duck accountability whenever it’s convenient. but being abused doesn’t give you the right to abuse other people, is my point. nothing gives somebody the right to do that.

and Dabi is hurting other people. he waited ten years to tell his story specifically because he wanted to use it to make others suffer. and, putting aside the part where he’s trying to engineer the downfall of society as a precursor to the mass destruction he and his pals have planned, he also broadcast the story nationwide without the consent of the other abused parties involved. which I’m not saying he didn’t have the right to do, mind you, because it’s his story as well as theirs, and he has the right to tell it. and the right to make his abuser’s crimes as public as he wants, if that’s what he decides. but it also ignores the question of what his mother and siblings might want, and the fact is that they’re also survivors, and so in theory should have the same right as Dabi to choose their own healing process, and decide exactly how they want their abuser, who like so many abusers is also a close family member, to be held accountable. anyway, but all of that is obviously very, very complicated and I don’t think there’s a clear right or wrong side as far as this part of it all. it’s not a situation where everyone can be happy, which unfortunately is often how it goes.

anyway, I’ve kind of meandered pretty far from my original point now, so my bad. my points are, basically,

(a) I think the linked explanation does show that Jeanist is chiding Dabi for using his trauma in this specifically scheming and destructive way, as opposed to saying “shame on you for not being a good little victim and staying quiet”, which would be a ridiculous thing for Horikoshi, who’s explored the topic of abuse more thoughtfully than any other mangaka I’ve read, to randomly have one of his protagonists say.

and (b) the people calling Dabi out on his shit aren’t all smug victim-blamers who have no sympathy for what he has been through. the latter point (and a lot of this post, actually) isn’t particularly directed at you btw; it’s more of just a general statement brought on by some of the discussion that’s been going on these past few days.

anyways, I actually like that the fandom is talking about all of this! I just think it’s a very complex subject, and an even more complex situation currently in the manga. and ideally, people would try to acknowledge that complexity when discussing it, rather than simply picking a side and doubling down on it no matter what, or shooting down the whole thing as problematic writing just because isn’t a neat and tidy situation where you can simply say “oh, person A is right and person B is wrong, that’s it, end of story.” it’s not, unfortunately. it’s a messy clusterfuck of a topic that’s only going to get messier as this plot continues, so hopefully we can all just sort of brace ourselves for that lol. this is really just the tip of the iceberg, I think.

[honeyfizzly]

Kanna appreciation post whoop whoop aka an analysis just for the bucket girl. Sorry for any spelling errors lol, I orginally wrote this all down in my notes app. Click the read more cause this got super super long

Also feel free to disagree with me, since this all my interpretation and reading of her character

Kanna is a sensitive and compassionate young girl who's arc focuses on her growing from the death of her sister and not wavering on what her heart tells her.

The most important part of her character is how when she grows- instead of being less emotional, she learns emotional maturity and how to cope with her emotions.

Kanna starts the story emotional unstable for good reason, as she had just experienced the death of her sister.

Kanna is implied to have at least some form of abandonment anxiety (the way she quickly latches onto other characters, she mentions that she feels lonely at times just like her mother in her fondness events with Kai, and the fact she was trying so hard to make sure her adopted family didn't think she was a burden) which must've made the death of her sister hit alot harder, because she must've felt completely alone as well. Which is why she went to Sara (who most resembles her sister) to try and get closure (this is even pointed out by Mishima).

Kanna however, dosent get the closure for her sister's death yet this chapter (thanks miley >:T).

Kanna in the first chapter is *presented* as this weak emotional girl who's being used by the antagonist, and is need of protecting.

However, in chapter 2, this assumption is completely flipped on its head.

We see in chapter 2 that kanna is far more than both we the viewer and Sara thinks. At the start we find out that Kanna didn't just defend Shin in the main game because he manipulated her- but on the basis that since he knew about the main game coming up, he should be left alive because he has valuable information.

(It's later pointed out that Shin planted the cards to put Kanna in his debt, but it dosnet deny the null the fact that Kanna protecting him was a choice made from logic and not emotion).

Kanna also takes it upon herself to watch over Shin and dosent mindlessly listen to him (she only gave him the laptop so she get the phone, which had the last words of her sister on it).

And also, Kanna is still grieving over her sister but it gradually getting better at coping with her death and is coming to terms that it wasn't her fault. In her negotiation event, Kanna says that she has to survive in order to tell her parents what happened.

Also in main game 2, it's revealed that Kanna is the one who figured out the password for the laptop and in chapter 3, she mentions that she knew that it was Shin who wrote that message.

Kanna is also shown to be a very kind person who believes in the best of others (though of course, she's explicitly shown to not be naive like a mentioned before).

Kanna in 2-2 pushes about the fact that Shin wants to reconcile and puts the most emphasis on that he's working to help escape with *everyone* (which is shown to be true, as shin was genuinely trying to escape with everyone).

This kind heart of hers is also what pushes her to try and trade for Sara's sacrafice card. Kanna saying that she didn't want Sara to die, and that she didn't want Shin to be murderer is a heartbreaking line that shows how much she cares for them both.

Kanna trying to self sacrafice again in main game 2 is distinctively different from when she tried to in main game 1 (when she said it was okay to vote for her because she just wanted to see her sister, and faked being the sage for Shin).

Kanna this time around truly believes that Shin is the one who deserves to live because of his abilities to help escape, and begs Sara to think rationally about this.

Kanna says that true failure is wavering on your beliefs, and that's why Kanna didn't back down from defending Shin until the very moment of her (potential, since it's route based lol) death. One of her last words is her asking the group to be kind and trust Shin (just like how she trusted him).

If emotion route is chosen, we get some pretty amazing scenes with the focus on Kanna in 3b.

The first scene I'd like to talk about is the scene with Kurumada and Kanna, and her stopping him from trying to go down the elevator. She's sees the want to for self sacrafice, and perhaps consciously (or subconsciously) she sees shin and/or herself in Kurumada at that moment and is able to get through to him.

The second scene is the one where Shin is revealed to be her brother. Kanna refuses to be broken by that fact and instead acknowledges that while Shin was a liar, his affection was the truth and instead let's both deaths of siblings drive her will to survive instead of hold her down like in the beginning.

And one more thing, I think the Hinako and Kanna parraeles are super interesting because Hinako is someone who is not in touch with her emotional intelligence. Hinako acts very "logical" if you will, and has a very cynical view of others and their intentions. She tells the group to get a "reality check" when they're trying to save Keiji and acts very defiantly, until they prove they don't just see her as a pawn by undoing the partnering system of the collars.

Hinako also has an adult male figure in her life, but Midori does not care for her and only sees her a toy to be thrown away as he pleases (which he ultimately does).

Sorry if this is rambly or all over the place, I I have alot of thoughts.

[yumgrapejuice]

An analysis on Ranboo’s lore playlist

okay y’all first of all, ranboo has a killer taste, i love him, and second, i couldn’t resist. i’m an analyst by nature. am i looking too deep into some things? did ranboo maybe choose some songs purely for the vibe? perhaps. do i care? no. let me have my fun.

I’m gonna drop my own analysis/interpretation based on these songs but feel free do use this yourself if you want!! And also feel free to disagree/correct me on anything!! I’m not a professional musical analyst lol and I did take some inspiration from already existing interpretations for the more lyrical songs.

here’s the playlist btw

“Introduction to the Snow”—introduction to the album. Fitting for the playlist’s beginning, seeing the tone. It’s mostly referencing (self-imposed) isolation.

“Dream Sweet in Sea Major”—this Miracle Music’s whole album is about dreams and reality, how they clash, loneliness and the wish to be close to someone, yet still remaining isolated. Very whimsical, metaphorical, melodic, and it has this vibe as if on the edge of consciousness. I’d say it fits quite well with c!Ranboo’s general vibe. This song in particular deals with sleepwalking(ha)/being in a dreamlike state, the line between what’s real and what’s not blurred.

“The Mind Electric”—oh this one fits Ranboo extremely well. First part is in reverse, the second in normal (mirroring), and it can get quite unsettling. Like you’re not sure what’s happening with the instrumentals, many different voices. Again, very metaphorical, but to put it shortly, the protagonist is being judged for a crime they’ve committed and, in their defence, they say: “Father, your honor, may I explain, my brain has claimed its glory over me; I’ve a good heart albeit insane”. They get “condemned to the infirmary” for that, where electric shock is used on them as a form of “therapy”. As a result, the protagonist loses grip on reality and themselves and truly does go insane. They beg for mercy and sympathy, but there’s no one to help them. “Someone help me; Understand what's going on inside my mind; Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me”—need I say more, really?

“Live and Let Die”—the phrase “live and let die” means to live your life how you wish and let others live how they wish without interfering. At first, you live by the phrase “live and let live”, meaning you have your ideals and you try to change the lives of others according to them, but as life progresses, you stop caring as much/try to distance yourself from others’ business.

“Turn the Lights Off”—dreams and nightmares. Mildly foreboding yet energetic. The actual meaning is about growing up (transition from childhood to adulthood), but we can take some other interpretations that’d fit with Ranboo’s character better. This Tally Hall’s album deals with differences, black and white, and how there shouldn’t be a divide between them. In this song, there are some noteworthy lines that I’d like to mention:

- “Bend the nightmare, you control it; Artful dodger, easy does it”—lucid dreaming, you have to be careful with it so as to not lose control.

- “Shut the closet, get under the covers”—you’re afraid of something and instead of facing it and seeing whether there even is something to be afraid of, you hide.

- “Turn the lights off”—confront your fears. It can also mean that in the dark, there’s no differences between people, going back to the album’s meaning.

- “And everybody wants to get evil tonight; But all good devils masquerade under the light”—this could mean that everyone has a darker part of themselves but those who actually indulge in their dark tendencies do so in plain sight by pretending to be someone else.

“Ruler of Everything”—the main theme here is time and how it’s the “ruler of everything”; time doesn’t matter about where it goes, and it will never stop. The second verse is most interesting to me—there are two singers, man and time, but for the sake of interpretation let’s just see it as two voices. One is obsessed about being liked, fitting in, constantly asking for reaffirmation (“Do you like how I walk? Do you like how I talk?”), while the second criticizes the first (“You practice your mannerisms into the wall”). They argue—”I’ve been you, I know you, your facade is scam; You know you’re making me cry, this is the way that I am”. The second is calling out the first for not being honest to himself. Tone is lighthearted but with an edge of unease.

“Merry-Go-Round of Life”—from Howl’s Moving Castle soundtrack. The title’s self-explanatory, I’d say.

“Killer Queen”—this one’s a harder one to interpret in regards to Ranboo lol. The song is about, based on an interview with Mercury, a high class woman that likes to indulge in her various desires (mostly sexual). I would doubt that’s what Ranboo was going for, so! Perhaps about a person that has no regards for their reputation and instead does whatever they feel like it? They have a certain image but still act however they like. Yeah, not too sure about this one :’) But that’s what I’ll go with for my later analysis.

“Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked”—quite straightforward. A person that performs bad deeds has reasons for them. Not excuses, but explanations, and you can sympathize with it. We all do “bad” things for one reason or the other, and, in the end, we’re all just trying to get by. Once again, plays into the theme of there not being a clear distinction between good and bad.

“The Bidding”—another harder one to interpret. On the surface, it’s about an auction where men are trying to sell themselves to women. They all present themselves in different images, and it’s remarked that the women care less about the date and more about the prospect of it, the pretty words. The date, actually, ends up being disappointing. Could be about expectations. Some men outright admit they’re assholes so whoever chooses them should know that. People can tell you what their intentions are from the start so if you end up hurt, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

“A Mask of My Own Face”—another interesting one! Unusual instruments, strong beat. They’re singing about how they have a desire to pretend to be someone else while secretly still being themselves. “I’d rob my own apartment and I wouldn’t give a damn; I’d blame it on the person that nobody knows I am”—implying they have no regard for their own livelihood and are just out to have some fun. Plus, that no one would be aware it’s all an act. “I'd wear it on Thanksgiving and I'd laugh in the parade; At all the people hissing, knowing I'm the one they hate”—they take delight in the idea of upsetting others and them not knowing it’s actually the singer that they should be hissing. “And at the big finale I would tear my face away; And smile as they grip their own and try to do the same”—everyone wears masks, and this person implies that their mask and their true self is not different from each other while others’ are.

“Stardust Crusaders”—soundtrack from Jojo. Action-packed? idk never seen it sorry lol

“I Can’t Decide”—oh, this one’s a doozy! One of the ones that do not fit c!Ranboo at all, but that’s what makes it interesting. A classic, the singer is out to have fun, very lighthearted and yet they’re singing about murder. The protagonist here is clearly mentally unwell and they’re indecisive whether they should let their enemy/toy/(up to interpretation) live or not. Some curious lines:

- “It’s not easy having yourself a good time”—in the context of the song, that “good time” implies something wicked.

- “I’m not a gangster tonight, don’t wanna be the bad guy, I’m just a loner, baby, and now you’ve got in my way”—they don’t view themselves as “bad”, however, the next two lines are paradoxal—the singer says they’re alone and yet decide to “mess around” with whoever comes up in their life.

- “No wonder why my heart feels dead inside, it’s hard and cold and petrified”—signifying lack of empathy.

- “It’s a bitch convincing people to like you”—they don’t actually want to do that and see it as a bother.

“Stranded Lullaby”—back to Miracle Musical, back to the theme of isolation. Super lyrical, super musical. They talk about how their memories float around aimlessly in their head, a sea, and may sometimes get lost. The protagonist, a sailor, is losing touch with reality and can’t tell apart what’s a dream anymore and what’s not. They question what they’re going through and why.

“Hidden In The Sand”—a song about longing, in my eyes. The protagonist sings about how “you” love things and how he wishes to love the same things, in the end admitting that “all I’ve wanted was you”. They don’t wish to be separated, they wish to have someone in their life that they could love.

“Now I’m Here”—euphoric. They sing about how they’re alive again, thanks to one specific person. I’m not gonna go too much into this one (partly because it’s a more difficult one for me again, partly because it’s Queen and I don’t wanna uhh talk nonsense on accident lol), but what I got from it is that when one one else saw them, someone did, and they made them “live again”, and now as a result the protagonist is devoted to them.

“&”—really highlights Tally Hall’s album’s theme of black and white and that there shouldn’t be a divide. The repetition of comparing opposites is present throughout the entire song (Weak & Strong & Wet & Dry…) and it’s heavily implied we should “say goodnight” to this mindset. But people love to choose sides, put things into good or bad categories. By the line “They took a lesson from their fathers” it’s implied that people don’t develop this mindset by themselves and are rather influenced by others around them. The whole album is titled “Good & Evil” and Tally Hall examines and criticizes this idea. If we keep dividing people into good and bad, eventually, we’ll all destroy ourselves.

“I’m Gonna Win”—a song about someone who’s struggling to get by. “Sometimes it can seem like a merciless dream”—life can get really hard and the protagonist wonders “what’s really worthwhile”. In the chorus, whoever, they declare that they’re “gonna win” no matter what. They might get “bloody and bruised” but they won’t give up until they “won’t be abused” and until they’re “laughing alone”. No matter how hard life/others kick them down, they’ll keep going. By the lines “It’s hard to be charming and smart and disarming; It’s hard to pretend you’re the best; It’s hard to fulfill everyone’s expectations; It’s hard to keep up with the rest” it’s implied that they find it tiresome to keep up appearances and be liked. It’s challenging to always fit everyone’s expectations, but they’ll continue doing whatever they have to to “win”.

if ranboo ever adds more songs to his playlist, i may add them here too :) 

[wedreamedlove]

MLQC Men Headcanon Notes

Now that I’ve spent more time with these men (it’s getting close to 2 years!) I wanted to share the general thoughts, themes, motifs, etc. that I keep in mind when I’m writing their character.

This is 1000% headcanon territory, so feel free to take what’s useful and ignore what’s not LOL but I’d also love to see people add in their own “character reference cheat sheet” to this!

(I’m especially curious because, due to being of Asian diaspora, I write best in English but my understanding of the characters come from CN/JP text). Incidentally, if anyone feels ANY of this when reading my fics, then that’s all I could ever ask for LOL.

LI ZEYAN

He is Capricorn² and, while the game doesn’t make explicit mentions to this, I associate the element earth with him because of this. He’s described with attributes like being steady, calm, and always in control. He is the epitome of an immovable boulder and things revolve around him, not the other way around. I like to draw on imagery of unbending steel and/or the stable ground.

Meanwhile, like the goat of his astrological sign, every step he takes to climb to his goal is assured. He doesn’t do anything spontaneous or without thought, so if he does lose control and act without thinking then it has to be a momentuous occasion. Basically, it’s really important to me that if I write a loss of control, then it’s likely to be the centerpiece.

Keeping in mind that his Evol is time control, I also like to try and subtly weave an atmosphere of how everything happens at his pace. Winter being his season only adds onto this because the world stills when it’s covered in snow; everything becomes muted, hushed, and slowed in this season.

The chemistry in his romance arc is how his pace and control gets disturbed, but he adapts quickly and learns to go along with these moments of whimsy. Or more like that’s his character development and how love changes him.

His canon (spirit) animal is the cat and lion. Felines go along very well with the emperor or noble archetypes he has in all his AU cards, because cats are stereotyped as being independent and haughty animals. He’s not big on PDA or excessive skinship, but he’s not disagreeable to them either. Too much stimulation and, like a cat, he’ll probably show exasperation. Ignore him for too long though and he’ll come to share his presence with you.

For me, his love is shown through quiet acts of service that don’t have any attention drawn to them. Him just being in the same room or giving his attention is how he emotes his love.

He’s quite low-key in his normal life so he doesn’t seem like someone who gets confused over commoner things, but there are also moments where he spends an enormous amount of money without blinking. If life can be made easier with money then why not, right?

Keywords: Calm. Steady. Earth. Immovable. Control. Exasperated Affection. Time. Cats. Literal Capricorn. Winter. Mature.

ZHOU QILUO

First thing that comes to mind is the sun and heat. Fire is his element and so I go for stereotypical imagery like flares of passion and burning bright. He switches expressions and moods at the drop of a hat and he’s a mood maker to the extreme, but there’s no hiding the way he shines with his love for his love.

However, because he’s also Helios, it’s really important for me to play around with dualities and explore the other side of this positive imagery. So, just like how the sun can bring warmth and life, it’s also a deadly laser something that can hurt people by blinding them or setting fires. It’s also fun to remember that the moon only has light from the sun’s reflection.

Game-wise, I believe Helios has been described with cold and ice imagery but, because I try to keep that imagery for Li Zeyan, what I like to consider instead is that extremely cold things can “burn” you too. Frostbite can also be called ice burn.

The sky is repeated imagery for Luoluo too, because of his eyes, but I’ll admit I’m still uncertain about how to interpret this for his character. Generally, the sky represents freedom but...? How I approach this is that the sky doesn’t discriminate and protects everyone below it (echoing his quote about how he protects the light in the dark).

On this note about the sky being welcoming, I view Luoluo’s love as one that accepts his love no matter what they’re like and he grows together with them (unlike the two adults, Li Zeyan and Xu Mo).

However, again, it’s super important to remember his duality and just because he’s a playful mood maker doesn’t mean he’s not able to switch into a serious and mature mode. He keeps his innocence and warm heart despite the darkness he’s seen and understands.

His canon animal is the bear which also makes me tilt my head. I can only see this as how bears are seen as both cuddly and cute, but also fierce and protective. He was also given a stag but... no one uses that LOL.

Keywords: Fire. Passion. Playful. Innocent. Little Sun! But Moon. Spring. Sacrifice. Darkness. Sky. Mischievous. Mood Maker.

BAI QI

Every single cell in his body is attuned to his love. You ever lose your phone and then, for the rest of the day, you feel as if you’re missing an important piece of yourself and you have intrusive thoughts wondering where it is? That’s him. You ever see something so cute you experience cute aggression and don’t know what to do with yourself? That’s him. You know those dogs that strain at their leashes on the streets because they want to go and greet you? That’s him.

It’s all about the yearning.

I know, I know, I wrote essays about how he can survive without his love and how he’s someone who carries both love and a greater justice BUT let’s not kid ourselves that he doesn’t revolve around his love like Jupiter around the sun.

Anyway, so the game shoves wind descriptions down our throats. It’s literally another vehicle for him to emote his love and, to be honest, I don’t do much with it other than use it for that. I talked about it extensively in my character essays, but I suppose I play with the irony of how he’s only free because he has a home can return to. [Loneliness SR Wind and Care Call] “Because I have a place for my heart, I can fly anywhere.”

I don’t believe the game emphasizes this any more than it does with the other men, but I try to always have a point of contact between Bai Qi and his love because, again, the yearning and vibrating with All That Love. He’s such a physical character (military archetype) that I also want to emphasize that in writing.

In addition, I’m all about him being the most feral of the men. Heck, his canon animal is the wolf which is great for both its stereotypical and non-stereotypical meanings, such as being a lone wolf and ferocious animal but also a pack animal that can’t survive on its own and needs a pack. Meanwhile, NW717 is described in-game as a monster.

Look, one of his signature descriptions in the game is resting his chin on or against his love’s head and nuzzling them. I’m not baselessly trying to push my kink I swear.

So, like how Bai Qi said in [Light Bath SSR: Tenderness Call] that maybe he only shows his gentleness towards select people (his love and mother), he’ll give the person he loves all the warmth of his being but, oh boy, I see him as being a beast who will remember his true nature upon being chained; the “chain” of love gives him the reassurance he needs to be truly free... in all its meanings.

Keywords: Ginkgo. Summer. Primal. Wind. Love is love is love. 3-Point Contact. Wolf. Yearning. Vitality. Justice. Freedom. Physical. Restraint.

XU MO

First, given how vocal I am about Elex’s changes, this is probably going to be the most drastically different section out of everyone vs. their English version.

Soft. Light. Gentle. Kind. Gossamery. Feathery. Ethereal. Faint. Whenever I write him, do I literally open up a thesaurus to find synonyms for gentle, light, and soft? Yup! LOL.

Fun fact, in CN and JP the word for “smile” and “laugh” is the same character and so sometimes there is ambiguity when translating if there’s no clear markers. The writers definitely had a word in mind when they wrote the scene, but unfortunately we don’t have the ability to check with them at every use and so sometimes it does come to subjective interpretation.

For me, Xu Mo is characterized by a lot of quietness. Game-wise, there are enormous usages of silence and descriptions of emotional fluctuations in his eyes so Significant Silences and Looks are a major thing with him and in my writing for him, which is why I always choose “smile” over “laugh” if there is any ambiguity in the line (I believe Elex leans towards chuckles).

On a similar note, the game also gives him a gigantic serving of descriptions that only ever use the word for “light, slight, faint, soft, gentle” in JP and CN. It gives him a very floaty and dreamy feeling, even if he’s doing something physical. So, it’s important for me to keep a similar atmosphere when writing and make everything feel as if it has to be shared in a whisper.

A bonus here is that it doesn’t require much to turn this ethereal feeling into a melancholic one, so you get that dash of angst that layers over everything. Leave a few things unknown here and there, incomplete actions, eyes that get averted and Boom. Angst.

Shifting gears, but if my imagery of Bai Qi’s love is like a tense, vibrating, and restrained chain of yearning then Xu Mo’s love is like a flood barely being held back by a dam. Knowledge of the quantity and weight behind the dam is terrifying, but it’s safe to be submerged inside it. Much like Luoluo and Helios, Xu Mo also has a dangerous duality in Ares and so I also like to play with this imagery.

So, on this point, I like to preserve an underlying sense of darkness (all-consuming possessiveness, etc.) and envision that he also wishes to stain his love in his colors, like a drop of ink on white paper and how it seeps into every fiber of the paper until the whole thing is saturated with him.

Incidentally, I’m reminded that—whenever possible and natural—I want to exclusively use water imagery with Xu Mo. The game supports this too! He is described with extensive water imagery and so I try to use water metaphors, analogies, and similes.

I try to make sure every sense is present, but I feel like the game emphasizes (especially with the red thread of fate imagery) that Xu Mo and his love are connected at a soul-deep level and so I always keep in mind a mental, emotional, and spiritual aspect.

Lastly, his canon animal is the fox (we ignore the black goat LOL) so contrasting his elegant, scholarly, and gentleman’s air with a black belly, teasing, and mischievous air is also important! Sexual but with, you know, class.

Keywords: Butterflies. Monochrome. Artist. Red Thread. Autumn. Melancholy. Water. Soft. Gentle. Light. Faint. Dreams. Spiritual. Fox.

LING XIAO

I’m getting more comfortable with him, but he’s still shrouded in so much mystery. If every one of the other men treat their loves with gentleness though Ling Xiao is definitely one who isn’t afraid of roughhousing. He’ll act first and then ask for forgiveness afterward, if needed.

But I like to keep in mind that, for all his roughness, he’s still a good kid at heart and when he saw MC’s skirt rising up when he tried to pull her over the fence he immediately stopped. So, a bit of a bully but without any humiliation.

Intelligent, strong, and dangerous but hiding all of that beneath a devil-may-care attitude and someone who does things on a whim. I don’t know what to do much with his canon animal being the shark except to attach it vaguely to this point and think that, as an apex predator of the sea, it does things at its own pace (somehow, it gives me the image that he likes to bite... but, uh, that’s probably just me LOL).

Keywords: Mercurial. Lightning. Sarcasm. Physical.

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

I’d disagree with the anon that Paul was “incapable” of love, but I do agree he was very distanced, and pretty cruel (to women) when he was younger. (It was unfortunate they bought into the love at first sight myth, but he was also a charmer, and dropped affection and got colder after fucking them.)

But I just can’t see romantic interest on Paul’s end. I’m sure he loved John, but a lot of the “sexual/Romantic evidence” really can just be as construed as platonic love. I feel there may be some confirmation bias looking for “clues”. (Not an attack on anyone, but some of the analysises seem to try too hard, really).

He does make references, with the whole “calling him babe during concerts”, and “in bed” but that could just mean he’s not uncomfortable with coming off “gay”. He has a quote about it somewhere I think. He’s supportive of the community at any rate.

This is kind of my own bias, but at times I think he…plays it up a little during the present day? Again, I’m positive he did love John a lot, but with how he is, a charmer, good at manipulating his image, he knows there is a benefit to building up the “magical” Lennon McCartney dynamic. John’s dead, and the old conflicts have faded, so he has no reason not to. I don’t think he’s anti-social, or a psycho or anything, but he certainly does put a lot of thought into his image, especially now, with how he wants to leave his legacy.

I’m less knowledgeable about John, and the speculation about his mental illnesses, but on his end, I can certainly see it. Maybe he’s just blind, but the looks are very much…yeah. He does seem to rely Paul a lot, and hold him in very high regard (REGARDLESS of what those old male biographers might make of him). You just know he was suffering over Paul, poor bastard.

Not sure if anything happened. I think Paul knew though, and either ignored it, or was kind, knowing John wouldn’t act on it. OR he didn’t notice! With the whole “we shared beds A LOT. you would think he’d make a pass at me, darling~”

I guess that’s how I see it. I don’t really have strong feelings on the nature of their relationship, or want them to be “confirmed”, so I try to be as objective as possible! Not a shipper, but not a male biographer. In fact, I was very put off learning the ship was a thing at first! With every fan base “having to” ship the main male leads, that’s what I thought this was. But after three years, reading actual books, primary stuff, I’ve began to change my mind on its legitimacy, and this was my conclusion. But new information can always change!

(Sorry for the long long analysis, god! I just took my adderall and I should go eat! Feel free to block me for spam/harassment.)

Yeah, this is basically my big mclennon dilemma: did Paul love John?

Of course he loved him, but I mean did he harbour any homosexual feelings towards John - and I just go back and fourth on that a lot.

In my last response to an anon I wasn’t necessarily trying to argue that Paul was romantically/sexually attached to John, because all in all, I don’t believe he did - but it probably came off that way because I didn’t particularly like the way the anon had phrased some stuff (like calling him “a master manipulator” and “incapable of love”) and so I just sort of wanted to show that the relationship was more nuanced then just “john was simping for paul”. My overall point with that response was more so that whilst I think Paul struggles in showing real affection and emotions, I don’t think he was incapable of love prior to Linda. I think he did really love John (in whichever form of love you want to take it: romantically, platonically etc.)

And so my point I guess wasnt so much that Paul was always capable of love (because I think he did at least love his family, his close-friends, probably Jane etc.), but maybe more so that he was always capable of intimacy with another person, though he struggled with it.

But yeah, he was quite cruel to a lot of the girls he slept with in the 60s, but I wouldn’t say that suggests he was incapable of love (i know thats not what you’re saying but other people might interpret it through that lens) I would just say he was young, dumb, ridiculously rich and famous and not emotionally mature enough yet to really empathise with most of those girls. Not trying to completely excuse him, but like, i dunno, i always just try to view people from the most human perspective. Everyones an twat sometimes yknow

I also really struggle to see romance on Pauls behalf towards John - the only times I think “wait but maybe he did fancy john back” is when I read some of his lyrics (like in ‘Coming Up’, ‘Yvonne’s The One’, and to some extent ‘Here Today’ - though I think interpreting Here Today as strictly platonic love is still a valid interpretation). I mentioned this in a different post though, that analysing his lyrics just isnt particularly convincing for me, because it feels more like speculation - and also as someone who does write songs, I know that a lot of lyrics just arent as deep as we wish they were. It is really difficult to be truly introspective and honest in a song, without exaggerating or hyperbolising or fictionalising any autobiographical aspects.

I do see your point with Paul possibly playing up the “Lennon/McCartney m a g i c” - im not entirely sure how much I agree, but I do agree to some extent. I think he’s always been very image conscious, and being in what is probably the all-time most famous pop band definitely wouldve heightened that. Even as a teenager I think he’s always just had this natural charm about him, and that tends to stem I guess from a need to be liked; I think you can see it in every interview he’s ever done to be honest. Its not necessarily a bad thing, (because id take a charmer over a rude knobhead any day) but I guess it sort of just shows that Paul is flawed like everybody else. Also, just read @mothernatures-sons tags and I agree with her - Paul just knows when to be a nice person! Nothing wrong with that! It isnt manipulative like the last anon suggested, its just how most people are: polite :) Ive heard a lot of anecdotes from people who have worked with or met Paul and the majority of them say he was a just a nice guy. Not saying he was never an arsehole (cause yeah he was pretty cruel to those girls in the 60s) but I think overall, hes a pretty good guy 👍

On the other hand though, you could also say that superficial journalists are looking for superficial answers - and Paul knows what the people want to hear. But occasionally ill hear an interview that does seem more intimate then most - I havent listened to it in awhile, but the interview he did with Sean I remember felt more honest to me then most. And when he said he’d like to spend the day “in bed” with John, to me that felt like a genuine and fitting response. Because, whilst it has sexual connotations, it also just feels like he’s saying he’d just like to sit around, chat, dont chat, just whatever with John for a day. Like he would just like another moment of intimacy with him.

I think we are pretty much in agreement on most of this though! At first I was also like “nah, mclennon isnt real, teenage girls just love shipping guys!” (I am a teenaged girl and I can confirm this lol) but then it just sort of became apparent to me through reading more and more about their relationship that there probably was something more on Johns behalf. If John wasnt in love with Paul, then it feels as though a lot of things he said and did just dont add up (the big one for me is him marrying Yoko so soon after Paul married Linda - like I really cannot come up with a heterosexual explanation for that!)

But when it comes to Paul, though ill have moments of doubt, I dont think he was in love with John (homosexually) and I do think a lot of the evidence on Pauls behalf seems like a stretch (but like you, im not having a go at anyone, because I understand that it is easy to carried away, plus its fun - but realistically, most of Pauls evidence just is not convincing to me). He’s comfortable with his sexuality, and I really do try to respect that and not force a gay interpretation of quotes or songs from him, unless it is genuinely making me question his sexuality and mclennon.

PS dont worry, I didn’t take this is spam at all!! And also, I would never block someone just for disagreeing with me! I enjoy discussion and I think its good to engage with people who disagree with you! To be honest, id only block someone if they were purposely being a real arsehole <3

[ouyangzizhensdad]

RE: WWX and his arc being about trauma. I got into the fandom through CQL and the first time I saw it I actually read a lot of his actions post the burning of Lotus Cove as being influenced by his trauma. He's paranoid even before getting thrown into the burial mounds. He seems to be self medicating with alchohol (which WQ kinda calls him out on). He over-reacts to a lot things, which seems to me like a nasty case of emotional dysregulation as a result of PTSD. He avoids all kinds (1/3)

Of reminders of his tramua, his sword being the greatest example but there were other little things. He never gave much of a fuck about propriety but the way he completely igonres it (and the possible social fallout) later speaks to me less about not caring and more about not *having* the emotional capacity to care, much like what happens with depression. Plus, a lot of his behaviour can be read with various shades of being self destructive, and there are just in general a lot of points (2/3)

Where it's made clear that he's in a pretty bad headspace (him crying about being useless in the burial mounds for example), but none of that ever really gets dealt with so all of those issues are still hanging under the surface even if they're not apparent all the time. I mean, this is just my take, but at least imo WWX ticks a lot of the checkboxes for PTSD in the drama and it explains a lot about the way he acts and the bad decisions he makes. Hope this was helpful! (3/3)

I'm only referring to the drama btw, not the novel (which I haven't read yet). My memory is terrible so I'm not sure if I made it clear or not lol. Anyways, have a good day ^^

Hi there, 

I am always curious when people who have only engaged with CQL end up engaging with my novel-only meta blog but perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised: if CQL posts end up in the mdzs tag, why not the opposite? I’ve seen some of my novel meta reblogged and tagged with “the untamed” and “CQL” so maybe the answer is already out there, staring at me in the face! 

I’ll start by saying that I do not wish to really argue with people’s interpretations of CQL since I consider that MDZS and CQL are very different works because so many changes were made in the process of adapting the novel, and I personally have no interest in analysing CQL except wrt  how it can help us better understand the novel (seeing certain elements removed or changed may help us understand why they mattered in the first place or what their use was). So I will speak to the arguments that could be applied to the novel and why *I* don’t think WWX’s arc in the novel is about trauma, and why I don’t think that picking up certain behaviours that can be exhibited by people with PTSD (but not exclusively by people with PTSD) is enough in itself to support the idea that a character’s arc is about trauma/shaped by PTSD. That does not mean that my interpretation is the only acceptable one--I am aware that a lot of people disagree with me on this and see trauma as a central theme/central part of WWX’s arc--and so I expect that a lot of people will disagree with my points (hopefully after they’ve read this post in good faith). And that’s perfectly fine: how likely is it that we can find another person who will agree 100% with our own interpretation of a work of fiction? And having divergent opinions floating around the fandom, or having to develop counter-arguments is a good way to strengthen our own pov if we don’t find ourselves convinced by that other interpretation, so it’s all good. 

So first, I’ll address the biggest point of my argument before moving to address more specific points you raise in your ask. For me, WWX’s characterisation is not about trauma but about resilience. 

So first, let’s clarify some things. Going through adversity/experiencing a situation that is difficult =/= experiencing trauma. Trauma is a concept referring to a potential response to going through adversity/experiencing something distressing or disturbing. In short, trauma as it is conceptualised and understood is not universal: not only in the sense that is a spatiotemporally specific concept used to make certain experiences intelligible, but as the reaction to difficult events (as well, what is considered to be an experience that falls under that concept is not itself universal and can take many gorms, and the behaviours and thoughts associated with trauma are generally not exclusive to it, ie having certain behaviours/thought processes is not an automatic proof that someone is dealing with trauma/ptsd). So after all this word vomit I want to clarify that my intent is not to suggest that WWX doesn’t go through experiences that are likely to cause trauma, but that to me, what is being portrayed is a different reaction to these events: resilience (if a slightly more “fictional” portrayal of resilience than what it would be presented in psychology/psychiatry). 

Resilience refers to how people adapt or recover successfully from adversity/distressing situation/stress. That does not mean that people’s first reaction to adversity/distressing situations will be not defined by negative emotions, of course. For instance, I don’t think WWX’s heightened paranoia/emotional state directly after the fall of LP when he goes to look for JC is an indication of trauma because at this point WWX is still deep in the middle of that moment of adversity: he’s still a fugitive in the middle of a war, in the middle of danger. This also doesn’t mean that people cannot still have some temporary negative reactions to things that happened to them, afterwards: WWX having to pause when JC presents him with Suibian after he returns from Mass Grave Hill is not inherently an indication of trauma as it can be read that his sword a reminder of the difficult sacrifice he made--and the consequences he faced as a result (just because a situation was not traumatic doesn’t mean we enjoy revisiting it).

Why I think that WWX’s arc or characterisation is about resilience rather than trauma is because of many things, but mostly I want to point out two sections of the novel in particular. 

First, this characterisation of WWX through JYL that we get relatively early in the novel:

Most memories from back then were already blurred. Yet, Jin Ling’s mother, Jiang Yanli, remembered all of them, and even told him quite a few. She said that, after his father heard of the news that his parents both died in battle, he had always dedicated himself to finding the child that these past friends had left behind. After searching for a while, he finally found the child in Yiling. 

The first time they met, Wei Wuxian was kneeling on the ground, eating the fruit peels that somebody tossed on the ground. Yiling’s winter and spring were quite cold, yet the child only wore thin layers. His knees were already tattered, and on his feet were two different shoes that didn’t fit at all. As he was looking down, searching for fruit peels, Jiang Fengmian called him. He still remembered that there was a “Ying” in his name, so he lifted his head. Although his cheeks were both red and chapped from the cold, he still wore a smile. 

Jiang Yanli said that he was born with a smiling look. No matter what unfortunate thing happened, he wouldn’t cling on to them; no matter what situation he was in, he would be happy. Although it sounded a bit heartless, it really was not bad.

This refers to a time of his life that is extremely difficult: he lost both his parents suddenly, at a young age, became suddenly homeless with no means to feed himself except to beg, and yet the only trauma he seems to carry from this experience is related to dogs. To me, this is a clear move from MXTX to position WWX as the kind of protagonist who can face a storm and keep his smile on his face. I can imagine that some people take it perhaps as a subversion, as the text telling us that WWX is weathering it all with a smile but underneath it all he is just a bundle of unaddressed trauma. And that’s certainly a possible interpretation, but it’s not mine. In this case I think the text is being straightforward. What we see of WWX also seems to support that: the way WWX just rolls with being brought back from the death, how easily he finds a way to adapt to things, etc.

I also find it meaningful that the novel choses to include in its ultimate chapter this discussion as part of its wrap-up of WWX’s journey and of Wangxian’s relationship.

After they left the shop, Wei Wuxian still sat on Xiao Pingguo while Lan Wangji held the reins in front.Swaying left and right atop the donkey, Wei Wuxian took the flute from his waist and placed it by his lips. The limpid notes flew across the sky like birds. Lan Wangji halted and listened quietly.

It was the song he sang for Wei Wuxian when they were stuck in the Xuanwu cave. It was also the song that Wei Wuxian just so happened to have played at Dafan Mountain, the song that enabled Lan Wangji to confirm his identity.

When he finished, Wei Wuxian winked his left eye towards Lan Wangji.

“How was it? Beautiful, huh?”

Lan Wangji slowly nodded. “For once.”

Wei Wuxian knew that ‘for once’ referred to how his memory was good for once. He could not help but smile.

“Don’t always be so angry about it. It was my fault in the past, alright? Besides, my terrible memory should be accredited to my mom.” Wei Wuxian propped his arm on Xiao Pingguo’s head, spinning Chenqing in his hand. “My mom said you have to remember the things others do for you, not the things you do for others. Only when people don’t hold so much in their hearts would they finally feel free.”

This was one of the only things he remembered about his parents.

Of course, this is not a direct reference to resilience as it is explored in psychology. But to me it speaks to that idea: one of the biggest lesson WWX has kept with him, one of his only memory of--and thus legacy from--his parents, is this idea that we should not hold so much in our hearts. It also reframes his bad memory as being the result of a philosophy, of an approach to life that not just about being grateful/paying your debts to others, but also a form of resilience, in a sense. 

As well, I find that a lot of people who go with the trauma interpretation see WWX’s actions and thoughts processes dyring his YLLZ’s days as being the result of his ptsd, where I personally read it as the influence of modao. I am aware as well that some people do not think that modao actually harmed WWX during that period of his life, but I don’t think that LWJ would have been worried if there were not reasons to believe it would:

One against two, Lan Wangji still refused to back off. He gazed at Wei Wuxian, “Wei Ying, for cultivating an evil path you would eventually have to pay. Throughout time, there has not been a single exception.”

Wei Wuxian, “I can pay.”

Seeing how unconcerned he seemed to be, Lan Wangji lowered his voice, “The path would not only damage your body, but your heart as well (此道损身，更损心性。)”

So now, onto the specific points you raised in the ask.

Self-medicating with alcohol: WWX is shown to enjoy and drink large amounts of alcohol before the fall of LP and after most of the events of the novel have unfolded. In the novel, while WQ tries to make WWX stop drinking, it is as likely to believe that it is for his health (now that he doesn’t have a golden core) than it would be because she was worried he was self-medicating. As well, heavy drinking is a very normalized behaviour (although most physicians don’t think it’s a good thing) in a lot of cultures and times, and considering WWX’s higher tolerance and his general demeanor while imbricated, his drinking is not shown to have a negative effect on his ability to live his life. The line between “self-soothing” (normal aspect of being humans dealing with emotions and hardships) and “self-medicating” (pathological) is hard to trace with alcohol consumption. As well, just because people with PTSD may self-medicate with alchohol doesn’t mean all people who self-medicate with alcohol do it because of PTSD. 

He's paranoid even before getting thrown into the burial mounds. As I mentioned briefly before, WWX is at the time a fugitive in the middle of a war: he’s still in the middle of those stressful events and his paranoia is not necessarily a maladaptive response since they are still very much fugitives in the middle of a war. Trauma is not really your reaction during but in the aftermath. It would be more telling if WWX were still exhibiting signs of paranoia in situations where he would have no reasons to. 

He over-reacts to a lot things, which seems to me like a nasty case of emotional dysregulation as a result of PTSD. I’m not certain at which reactions you are referring to here, but especially considering that some of this might be chalked up to acting choices since this is based on CQL, I probably won’t address this one point too much in relation to the novel. I do want to emphasize though that we’ve seen prior to Sunshot campaign that WWX can be quite impulsive in certain situations (hitting JZX for insulting Shijie, which he does both before and after the events of the Sunshot Campaign). As well, I do think it’s important to remember that he is still in the middle of the war during the Sunshot campaign, and that he is also hiding something pretty important from the people close to him and living a sort of double life, on top of experiencing fatigue/hunger in a way he hasn’t for years due to the loss of his golden core. In short, there are a lot of things going on that can be used to explain what can be seen as “over-reactions” without necessarily going with PTSD.

avoids all kinds  reminders of his trauma, his sword being the greatest example but there were other little things. I’ve broached in my previous discussions, but it’s also pertinent to remember his mom’s philosophy: we can also see this as WWX trying to leave in the pass this difficult sacrifice he made in order to move forward. 

He never gave much of a fuck about propriety but the way he completely ignores it (and the possible social fallout) later speaks to me less about not caring and more about not *having* the emotional capacity to care, much like what happens with depression. I have to disagree with that interpretation of WWX and WWX’s actions, but again this might just be a case of CQL-only vs novel-only interpretations of the character. One thing WWX thinks about being reborn in a “lunatic’s” body is that he’ll get to have fun, the way he never could when his actions reflected on others. So while at times WWX flaunts propriety, he is aware of how his actions can impact others and show in different situations that he is aware of propriety. His choice to protect the Wen Remnants goes against that, for sure, but it isn’t necessarily a case of not understanding the possible social fallout so much as putting other things (ie his life-debt towards WN and WQ) before propriety, as we can see for example in this exchange.

Jiang Cheng, “I’m the one who fucking wants to give you a thrashing! Yes, they helped us before, but why in the world don’t you understand that right now any remnant of the Wen Sect is a target of criticism! No matter who they are, with a surname of Wen they have committed a most heinous crime! And those who protect the Wen are at risk of being condemned by everyone! All the people loathe the Wen-dogs so badly that the worse they die the better. Whoever protects them is against the entire world. Nobody would speak for them, and nobody would speak for you either!”

“I don’t need anyone to speak for me.”

[...]

Swords unsheathed, the two stared at each other for a while. Neither was willing to take a single step back. A while later, Jiang Cheng spoke, “Wei Wuxian, have you still not realized what the situation at hand is like? Do you really need me to say it out loud? If you insist on protecting them, then I won’t be able to protect you.”

“There’s no need to protect me. Just let go.”

Jiang Cheng’s face twisted.

Wei Wuxian, “Just let go. Tell the world that I defected. From now on, no matter what Wei Wuxian does, it’d have nothing to do with YunmengJiangShi.”

“… All for the Wen Sect…? Wei Wuxian, do you have a savior complex? Is it that you’ll die if you don’t stand up for someone and stir up some trouble?”

Wei Wuxian stayed quiet. A while later, he answered, “So that’s why we should cut ties right now, in case anything I do affects YunmengJiangShi in the future.”

a lot of his behaviour can be read with various shades of being self destructive Which ones, specifically? I’m not trying to be obtuse, but I’m not sure which ones you mean. 

he's in a pretty bad headspace (him crying about being useless in the burial mounds for example) It needs to be said that the crying is only in CQL (it was an acting choice by XZ). My memory is playing tricks on me, but I think pre-rebirth we only see him cry after he kills JZX and after JYL’s death? Someone please fact-check me on this. 

Since I don’t believe it was MXTX’s intent to make WWX’s characterisation and arc about trauma, I do feel like interpreting the different behaviours as signs of his PTSD might lead us to miss out on other potential interpretations or meanings behind these choices, if we put aside the PTSD angle. It may also lead us to deny the text the possibility to signify something different through these behaviours and signs, especially on a thematic level--to explore something about how events and emotions shape us in a manner that exists outside of modern psychiatric classification.

TLDR (because god this got long): My point is not that WWX is unaffected by the things that happened to him or the things he’s done during this portion of his life: of course he is! Especially as they are happening to him, or when he is still stuck in a very difficult situation. But I don’t think his character and his arc is about trauma but instead about resilience. That, at the end of MDZS, WWX is still the person JYL described: No matter what unfortunate thing happened, he wouldn’t cling on to them.