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#criminally insane little maniacs
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Favorite flavor of k2? By which I mean your favorite au for them as a couple, or maybe a favorite scenario?
Hi Nonnie!!!
There are so many different flavors to chose from! And oh my god everyone writes them so ridiculously well! They genuinely work so well with each other and I adore the opposite sides of the spectrum they’re on where one is blatantly reckless even when his well being is at risk and the other is a perfectionist.
I personally LOVE hurt/comfort fics with them. Like Kyle inviting Kenny to stay over for the night if it’s getting rough at his own house, or when author slap Kyle with an ED (bro it’s literally one of my favorite ways I’ve seen this bitch written, I have a problem) and Kenny comes over to eat with him and encourage and support his recovery.
Also my dear mutual @everythingwasnormalhere has written some KILLER k2 in their fic Oops I beat some Colorado kids with a stick sorry not sorry. I think the two k2 oneshots in there are Friendship and The Smell of Wildflowers and they altered my brain chemistry. I have plenty more recs and will no doubt make a list of its wanted.
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celaenaeiln · 1 year
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ROBIN DICK WAS A WILD CHILD GIGGLING MANIAC
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THEY STOLE THE BATMOBILE! THEY STOLE THE BATMOBILE AND TOOK IT OUT FOR JOYRIDING!!!
THIS BOY WAS CRAZY. HE WAS A CRAZY LITTLE PSYCHO WHO BEAT TO THE SOUND OF HIS OWN DRUM.
He's the kid you see in shows where you're like this kid is a goddamn psycho but he's a cute goddamn psycho so it's okay.
Dick didn't need a leash because he was an angry robin.
Dick needed a leash because the world wouldn't be standing if he was set free.
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Batman-BRUCE-probably lost 10 years of his life with Dick. Hanging from chandeliers, taking the batmobile out for joyriding, taking down Gotham's worst criminals.
Also Dick doesn't fight monsters, okay? He plays with them.
What? Want proof?
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DICK'S CRAZY IS SO INSANE THAT HE SCARES THE JOKER INTO SUBMISSION AND ISN'T THAT THE BEST?
Do you know what the situation here is? There is no situation.
He literally just dropped into Arkham to play with the Joker and leave after having fun.
You what happens after he leaves?
The Riddler asks the Joker, "Know the visitor?" or something and the Joker replies,-
"Why don't you just go riddle yourself, Eddie."
How bonkers do you have to be to seek out the most insane, use them for fun, and then throw them aside like a used toy?
Deranged little boy with a heart of gold. There's a reason criminals run when they see him.
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"Every now and then, I have the feeling I've totally lost my mind."
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"It's a great feeling."
CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY!!!
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Characters who have dual personalities are the freaking best. On one hand, he's a ruthless psycho with a penchant for walking the line but never crossing it. On the other, he's the darling of the universe with heroes and civilians feeling possessive, proud, and awed by him.
To the good, he's known as the Savior and the Light. To the bad, he's the stuff of their nightmares and hated obsessions.
A man who can wield his personality like a double edged sword is a man who can't be defeated.
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camelspit · 1 month
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Sophie Foster by @creetchure
Fintan Pyren by @crescentpaws
Propaganda:
Sophie Foster:
"THE character to me. Her story is about so many things all at once. It's about perspective, and how a different perspective can be so unbelievably important. It's about childhood and being a teenager and how adults react differently to teenage activism--with Forkle telling Sophie it's her job to save the world and teaching her how to lead, while others try to shield her from the world's harms and tell her it's not her job to face them--and it's about how neither is entirely wrong. It's about power, with Sophie always striving to have more and better abilities because she believes that's how she will save the world, when that's not how she'll save the world. It's about the terrible harms and injuries she faces in her pursuit of justice, and how they pose real consequences to her, even putting in her in bed for weeks on end (multiple times!). Sophie's story is about friendship and loss and love and justice and activism and determination and bias and loneliness and bullying and magic and, ultimately, it's about being young and facing a world that claims to be good and perfect while it so obviously ISN'T. Sophie is a character that faces that world and never gives up in trying to change it. Vote Sophie." @everliving-everblaze
Fintan Pyren:
"you dont understand hes literally so funny. imagine if a theatre kid was a thousand year old elf was a raging pyromaniac was the presidents problematic ex BAM that’s fintan. he dramatically revealed that he was still alive despite it being a major strategic advantage just for the fun of it all. he likes gardening. he has capital h History with a councillor. hes killed before but he stays silly. hes even blonde" @necromycologist
"he’s a pyrokinetic. he’s maniacal. he’s calculating. he’s been locked in a block of ice for years. he’s older than your great great etc grandmother and also probably serves more cunt. his ass is the subject of much debate. what’s not to love" (anonymous)
"he's insane he's responsible for about a tenth of all elves who have ever died he's a rebel he walked straight into the peace summit and joked about murdering one of the world leaders he's been chained up or in prison for the majority of his scenes he's my skrunkly little guy <3333" (anonymous)
"he's pathetic. he's a freak. he's blonde. he's a whore. he's hopeless. he's a war criminal. he's a special boy. he's hated by god." (anonymous)
"hot alert! hot alert! the hot evil pyrokinetic we all love. he's almost melting his ice prison he's that hot. except it doesn't melt. HE IS THE EVIL GAY VILLAIN!! GO VOTE FOR THE HOT GUY <33" (anonymous)
Want to submit propaganda? Do so here and it will be added in the third round.
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astrophileous · 1 year
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Love Bugs (Pt. 03)
Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female Reader
Synopsis: You and Derek Morgan have an arrangement. At work, your relationship is strictly business. Under the sheets, it's all about pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less. Until, of course, your feelings start to get involved. Your situation is complicated enough without the unexpexted predicament that suddenly befalls upon you. But with a maniac serial killer on the loose, will you ever get the chance to make everything right?
Warning(s): pregnancy, brief talk of abortion, stalker behavior, kidnapping, curse words (this shouldn't even warrant a warning at this point lol) pls lmk if I miss anything
Word Count: 2000-ish
Author's Note: told ya the pt 3 would be here sooner than you'd expect! as always, LIKE+COMMENT+REBLOG cause these give me the motivation I need to finish the parts sooner and maybe upload more frequently 👀
Love Bugs Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist
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You always took pride in your ability to predict things correctly. It was one of the best traits that made you a great profiler.
Not this time, though.
This time, your ability to conjure correct predictions just seemed like a big joke that the universe purposefully played out to torture your ass.
The ringtone of your phone's incoming call snapped you back to reality. Without looking at the caller ID, you pressed the green button and brought the device to your ear.
"(Y/L/N) speaking."
"Hey, Beets. Where are you?" came the voice of one Penelope Garcia. "Hotch is looking for you. Are you coming in today?"
"Huh? Yeah, I'm coming in. Sorry, it was an emergency. Tell the others I'll be there shortly."
After ending the call, you rushed through the rest of your morning routine as quickly as possible. The three opened boxes on the bathroom sink were thrown into the garbage can in no time. Their contents sitting on the counter, however, required you to pause and contemplate what course of actions you would want to do to deal with the problem at hand.
Upon realizing that this was not the kind of dilemma you could solve in a matter of minutes, you decided to fuck it before dumping the items into the same garbage can.
The three tests with two little pink lines would have to wait.
You had a serial murder case to solve.
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If five months ago someone had told you that you'd someday end up carrying the child of Derek Morgan, you would have ordered a psychological evaluation for them right then and there.
The past few days had been a catastrophic turmoil. At first, the irrational anger had devoured you whole. You were this close to calling the company who produced your pills for claiming that they had 99% chance of preventing exactly the kind of mess you were going through from happening. Granted, they had put the minus 1% up there to save face in case anything like this were to ever happen. But what were the chances of you being one of the outliers in that small percentage?
Apparently, a pretty good one.
Then, the panic quickly had taken control and messed up with your head. The endless anxiety of having to bring a child into such a cruel world and bearing the responsibility of raising it, while having witnessed what kind of evil lurked underneath its facade, almost threw you to the brink of insanity. During those moments of fear, you had even entertained the idea of possibly terminating the pregnancy, even going as far as calling the nearest facility to question more about the procedure.
But once the fog had cleared, and you were able to start thinking rationally again, realization soon dawned upon you.
You wanted to keep the baby.
In some curious plot twist, you discovered that the idea of having this baby wasn't as scary as the knowledge of having to face Derek and inform him of the news.
And that was exactly what had been occupying your entire mind: how to break the news to Derek.
You barely even had the guts to talk to him directly anymore. Yet somehow, you had to find a way to tell him that you were pregnant, right to his face, as if you were bringing the news of a new movie that had just premiered in your nearest local theater.
How the hell were you ever going to do that?
And it wasn't like you were worried that Derek wouldn't be supportive about your decision to keep the baby. Even if he was unsupportive, there was nothing he could do to persuade you to change your mind. But Derek--sweet and kindhearted Derek--would never do such a thing. Having lost his father at a very young age himself, there was no way anyone could keep him from taking care of his child, no matter how they came to be in this world.
So, before you could gather your thoughts--and yourself--you had decided to put off telling Derek about your current condition.
"Still nothing, Garcia?" Hotch asked from his place in front of the board.
"I'm so sorry, sir. I've tried everything, but there was nothing else I could uncover from that tape."
The rest of the team was seated around the round table. It had been two weeks since the BAU received the video tape from the UnSub, and Garcia had finally revealed that there was nothing more to be analyzed from the tape despite having only obtained insignificant details out of it.
It also didn't help that the UnSub had been lying dormant since that video was delivered.
"It just doesn't make sense," Rossi said frustratedly. "Why would he stop now? What is he waiting for? This guy gets off on attention. Stopping his theatrics at a time like this doesn't fit his profile at all."
"He must be looking to get his attention from somewhere else," Derek chimed in.
"Yeah, but the question is where?" Reid interjected.
"And what is he planning to do to make sure he gets it?" Hotch let out a long sigh before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, we're not going to stop just because this guy has. Emily, JJ, try interviewing the victims' families, friends, and the witnesses again. See if they suddenly have something useful for us. Morgan and Rossi, follow up on our other leads. Reid--"
"The case files. I know." Reid nodded.
"Right. And (Y/L/N)--" Hotch pinned his stare towards you, "--I need to talk to you. Thank you, everyone. Dismissed."
"Are you in trouble?" Emily leaned in as the rest of the team scattered out of the room.
"Not as far as I know," you whispered.
As you walked the path to Hotch's office, your mind began searching for the possibilities behind Hotch's sudden request to see you privately. You didn't get to guess for too long, though, as you finally arrived in front of his door almost in no time at all.
"Come on in, Agent. Close the door behind you," he commanded. You turned around to nudge the door closed. "Have a seat."
You didn't spend any time beating around the bush once you had sat down.
"Can I ask what this is about?"
"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" Hotch looked at you with a raised eyebrow. "I heard you requested a half day off today."
"I, uh... yes. Yes, I did. Is that why I'm here?"
"No. That is not why you're here." Hotch leaned back against his seat. "You've been distracted lately. You're coming late to work, and you can't seem to focus when you're around."
"I-I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."
"You should know that I've received concerns about you from the other members of the team."
What?
"Was it JJ?" you asked. "Because if this is about what happened in the bathroom--"
"It was Garcia, actually."
"Oh."
Hotch looked at you curiously. "What happened with JJ in the bathroom?"
"Nothing, sir. It was nothing."
The next few seconds were drowned in silence. The ticking clock on Hotch's desk became the only sound echoing against the walls. Hotch was examining you as if you were a suspect in the interrogation room, and with how much scrutiny was sizzling inside those eyes, you might as well have been.
"They're not the only ones concerned about you, (Y/L/N)," he spoke carefully. "I've also noticed that you haven't been yourself lately. You seem tired all the time. You look paler every single day." Hotch readjusted his tie before continuing, "I know that what we do here isn't easy. This job, it's not for everyone. Sometimes our limits are much smaller than what we thought it would be, and that's okay. If you'd like to put in a request for a transfer, I'm sure I will be able--"
"Sir," you stopped him before he could go on any further. "I don't want to transfer. I like working here."
"Just because you like working somewhere, it doesn't mean--"
"Hotch," you cut him off once more. "I'm pregnant."
The priceless look on Hotch's face at the sudden drop of your announcement would forever be ingrained in your brain.
"What?"
"I found out two weeks ago." You smiled tentatively. "I've been having severe morning sickness, and my appetite has also not been the best. Probably why I look tired all the time. I didn't mean to let my condition affect my work, I'm sorry."
"No, no. That's... wow. You're pregnant." Hotch started to nod as if the news was just beginning to fully settle upon him. "Congratulations, Agent. That's wonderful news. You are... happy, right?"
You smiled at his considerate question. "I am very much. Yes."
"How far along are you?"
"My guess is eight to ten weeks. I'm not so sure. Today is my first ultrasound, hence why I requested for half a day."
And then, by some unknown piece of miracle, Aaron Hotchner started to laugh. A real, actual laugh that had both of his eyes wrinkling in the corners. You didn't even know that he could do that without Jack around.
"When I called you in here earlier, this isn't exactly how I pictured the conversation would go," he admitted.
"Neither did I."
"Well--" He cleared his throat, "--there's, of course, a few things we need to go over in rumination of your current condition, but I'm sure we can manage that some other time."
"Of course, sir."
"And (Y/L/N)?" You stared at him expectantly. "You can come to me if you ever need anything. You know that, right?"
The sincerity in Hotch's declaration nearly brought you to tears. You immediately tried to blink back the emotions before you could make a mess of yourself in front of your boss.
"Of course, Hotch. Thank you."
You got up from the chair and began walking towards the door. Before your fingers could touch the handle, you decided to turn around once more.
"Hotch?"
"Yes?"
"I would appreciate it if we kept this between us for now."
"Of course, Agent." He nodded. "You have my word."
And with that, you exited Hotch's room before heading back straight to your desk.
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A few hours later, you were finally returning home after attending the doctor appointment.
Confirming your earlier prediction, the doctor had put the estimated age of your fetus at around ten weeks. According to the internet, your baby was not larger than the size of a mere apricot. It was nothing more than a tiny blob in the sonogram image, but the sight of it alone somehow made you want to break down in tears.
Before you could turn into a sobbing ball of mess, you decided to put the picture right on the front of your fridge.
"Alright, I think that's--"
Thud.
Your head instinctively whipped around at the mysterious sound.
Without wasting another second, your hand immediately reached for the gun tucked safely in your holster. The tiny footsteps you took sounded deafening in the silence of your apartment. You first checked the bathroom, finding it empty with nothing out of the ordinary. The two bedrooms were pretty much the same. Quiet and a little messy just the way that you had left them that morning.
Sighing, you brushed off your paranoia as a result of your overactive hormons and creeping exhaustion.
When you reemerged from taking a shower nearly an hour later, the feeling of dread once again washed over your entire being.
At first glance, not a single thing in the apartment seemed to be out of place. But somehow, the feeling of another presence in the room was indisputable. Your wet feet slowly moved along the floor, careful as to not make as much sound as possible.
Once you arrived in the kitchen, you took in your surrounding, making sure that things really were staying in the places they should have been in.
You were about to sigh in relief until you saw it.
The sonogram image you previously had glued to the fridge.
It was now lying on the floor.
Before you could have a chance to grab the nearest weapon, the door to the second bedroom behind you suddenly began to creak.
"Boo."
That was the last thing you remembered before everything went dark.
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kairiscorner · 1 year
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the confounding case of dr. o'hara. — miguel o'hara x gnreader
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✧ summary: your first ever real patient out in the field as a criminal psychologist, and it's the recently caught supervillain, dr. miguel o'hara; a disgraced genius geneticist that supposedly went insane after a freak accident that not only worsened his hunger for rapture, but also turned him into a horrifying spider mutant. you had to be wary around him, anything you could tell him could make him try something risky... but what he wants with you now that he's gotten a whiff of you and your scent is something far more than just risky... he wants your life, but not to take it, but rather, for you to willingly submit yourself to him and only him. ✧ pairing: miguel o'hara x criminal psychologist!reader ✧ genre: (honestly idk, it's not fully fluff but not fully angst nor comfort either ... ? tis just a guilty pleasure fic ig !) ✧ author's note: this is inspired by the lovely kimmy's art on twt !! I'M SORRY, IDK MUCH ABOUT THE DETAILS ON DR JEKYLL AND MR HYDE, I DIDN'T WANNA BUTCHER ANYTHING AND I HOPE I DIDN'T !! i mixed some traits between joker, gomez addams, and some elements of the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde ! ... i hope y'all like this :'DDD AND I'M SO SORRY FOR THE SHITTY SPANISH FGIRUFBUIRBIURTB google translate is all i got .......
i. the scent of honey and a vision of an angel.
pages and leaflets of the mountains of cases against this man successfully made you shiver at the sound of his name–you couldn't believe just how little remorse he had for every crime he had ever committed written down in these records, it was like being in the scenes of a true crime documentary; it didn't feel real that you were going to speak to the very man himself and see just why he committed all those crimes... and why he could only smile at the thought of wreaking so much havoc. you took in a deep breath and walked into the hall where his cell was in, taking cautious steps as you heard the leaking of pipes and the dripping of water accumulating into puddles the further down the hall you entered.
you had no idea why, as a rookie, your first patient would have to be a criminal mastermind—but you needed all the experience you could get, not many people in your field at your level of expertise get the chance to talk to high-profile criminals like him; and you were far more professional and knowledgeable at your job compared to your colleagues in the academy; surely this wouldn't be too bad... right? well, the minute you saw the light coming from his cell, you were greeted to the sight of a hunched over man, sitting quietly at the center of the room with his back turned to the glass in front of you. you gently tapped at the glass, but that didn't catch his attention. "i know you can hear me." you spoke as you tried to get him to turn around again, but he still didn't budge. you rolled your eyes and sat down on a chair across from his cell; preparing to ask him questions that he probably won't even answer.
you introduced yourself as a freshly graduated criminal psychologist from nueva york university, you hoped he would cooperate with you and give you reasons as to why he committed his crimes, explaining to him that he could get a much more lenient punishment if he could explain his side of the story as to why such a once well-respected man had spiraled into such a morbid life of crime. you heard a low chuckle rumble from the other side of the glass, and that low rumble became more audible, all the way until he was cackling loudly; the sounds reverberating throughout the rubber-padded white walls and rang throughout the glass. the cackling soon faltered out and ceased, you felt the hairs on your body stand up as you heard every octave of his maniacal laughter–you'd think that years of case studies and witnessing firsthand from your mentors that dealing with people like him wouldn't be too challenging or disturbing, but this experience proved you to be wrong, so terribly wrong.
as the laughter died down, the corner of the man's smile showed from behind his long, shaggy unkempt wispy hair; and when he turned around to face you, you saw that his eyes were a dark shade, they were bloodshot and crimson, they were deathly, and you knew he was far more dangerous than any other criminal could contend with. the man grimaced and slowly creeped his head around over his shoulder to get a good look at you. his body followed suit and gradually turned to face you, the brown restraints on his white, yet stained, straightjacket made him look both pitiful and dangerous all at once. suddenly, the man slowly got up and wobbled over to you–it was as though he had gone days, maybe weeks, without walking; could he have stayed in that position this whole time before you came to see him?
the man's gaze was bearing into your own, his eyes not leaving yours as his grimace widened; the corners of his smile reaching his ears as he chuckled every now and then in a delusional daze. his chin and cheeks were dotted with stubbles and hints of fuzz and a beard–he had gone days without shaving, either, it seemed. he pressed his forehead against the glass and stared down at you, and only then were you able to understand how big he was; about 200 centimeters and counting, and yet, he was able to be restrained... he was frightening, and he knew you thought that of him.
"...miel..." the sound escaped his lips, the first word he spoke in a long while. you looked up at him in fear and gulped, writing down what you heard. "...w-what?" you asked him, hoping he'd repeat the word. the man's grin widened creepily as he slowly opened his mouth to speak again, and a dribble of saliva dripped down his chin as he stared at you, hungrily, like a starved predator cornering its prey. "miel, mi cariño, it's... honey, sweet as... shocking honey, making me hungry..." he murmured out, hid constant breathing fogging up the glass. you moved your chair back a little and cleared your throat, making miguel press his face against the glass even further as you moved away from him. he thumped his forehead against the glass, making you jolt a little and look at him. he stared at you from underneath his eyelashes and smirked widely.
"don't... don't escape me, mi tesoro... c'mon, it's been... too damn long since i've had such a pretty little thing come here and look so shocking ravishing–" he gushed and mumbled as his breath quickened and his smile got even wider, but seeing as how uncomfortable and tense he made you, he, surprisingly, quit that and moved away a little from the glass. he hung his head in what appeared to be frustration, and mumbled in a hused tone, "ah, quiero arrancarte esa blusa... but i can tell..." he whispered as he sat down closely to the glass and leaned his head forward, looking at you with a sly grin. "you don't like men who are that straightforward, do you?" he asked you as he watched every little move and twitch your body made, sinking in all the details about you as he muttered to himself, twitching as well at your little responsive gestures that said more than words ever could help you articulate the feelings he was giving you right then and there.
he chuckled as he watched you restlessly fidget in your seat, darting your gaze away from him as much as you could. "you're so cute, mi amor... keep that up and i might just really break out of here, i finally have a reason to now that your pretty little face showed up." he said, gazing at you all... lovingly as he smiled the more you stuttered out the next thing you wanted to say. "...there is... literally nothing you'll get out of smooth talking me." you said defiantly as miguel chuckled aloud again, rocking himself back and forth in ecstasy. "you're not only cute, smart, and snarky, but a bad liar too... eso me excita, sabes?" he teased you as he stuck his tongue out, a couple of smuggled piercings on the tip of his tongue gleamed as he did so, making you a little more tense as before. he hummed to himself as he looked at you with an even more sultry, desperate look on his angled face. "you're like an angel... you'll be known as mi angel from now on, okay, mi ángel? keep visiting me more often, mi ángel, i need to be reminded miracles can happen... even to scum like me." he whispered as you looked away from him, making him whimper and beg for you to look at him in spanish and english.
"por favor no me hagas esperar… mírame, mi ángel..." he pleaded with you as he got on his knees and pouted, showing off his lower lip as he gave you such big, sad eyes that tried to convince you to look his way. though he tried to appear less menacing and pathetic, you knew this was just a front of his to get you to do something for him, maybe to get him out? to take his place for him? to... oh, you couldn't even jump to that conclusion, because there's no way that—
"i desperately need you, mi ángel... please, look my way, my little angel... come closer, i need to smell your... your honey-like scent again, it drives me crazy, crazy with love, mi ángel, you can't even imagine..." he begged of you, leaning his forehead against the glass again, sobbing audibly as you sighed. would you look him for a second time? would you kindly let him get a whiff of you again and crave for you? he would never hurt you if you did, of course not; angels aren't meant to be hurt, and you, his darling little angel, would never be hurt around him... he'll do everything to make sure you won't be, and no restraints will ever hold him back from getting his strong, toned arms around your beautiful body, around his little angel, once and for all.
tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce @oxrchd
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nocturni3 · 1 year
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Bruce Wayne x male reader: Late Night worries
Tw: SFW, soft, comfort, missing Jason, Bruce Wayne inner turmoil, husband reader, slight angst, worrying parents, Tim being worried and frustrated, grief
There are things that a married couple will learn together. Be it giving each other their own space to express themselves, to support them in their struggles and hardships. And yet there is much you can’t learn from the other; something’s you must learn for yourself.
M/n had learned this throughout the years of being married to two different sides of his husband.
The billionaire ex playboy, prince of Gotham…and Batman, the dark knight, savor of Gotham. Both parts of Bruce Wayne as a whole; parts of Bruce that m/n loved. Be it his husband's confidence in showing the city of the good behind his endless pockets of cash. Repairing the city that through the years of the rogue gallery deemed as the prime battle ground to face off with Batman…with Bruce.
Or seeing the Justice his husband brought to Gotham; his endless crusade against crime families to crazed maniacs had M/n worry and prideful as he attended the galas Bruce couldn’t attend knowing his husband was doing far more important things.
And no matter how much he tried M/n couldn’t help but fear the worst every time his husband went out on patrol. Alfred had tried repeatedly to assure him of Bruce’s skills and complete capability to defend himself from the insane masked rogues and petty criminals of the city.
Yet none of the older man’s efforts had worked to ease M/n’s fears as he laid in their shared bed staring out into the stormy skies of Gotham city, staring out at the silhouette of the crime ridden city.
The massive mansion was always the coldest and lone year when Bruce was gone; the bed far too cold to fall asleep alone in, the once comforting silence became deafening.
Even with Barb,Tim and Alfred in the house aiding Batman in his missions wasn’t a comfort to M/n as he laid in the large plush bed alone once more.
Letting out a shaking breath M/n turned in the bed pulling one of the many untouched pillows to his chest, smothering his face into the clean case of Bruce’s pillow and yet there still managed to be a slight hint of his husband's cologne.
For years now M/n had only the reminders of his husband's smell to sleep too; at least until the early morning sun woke the couple up, both tangled in each other's limbs to start their morning together.
But tonight wasn’t one of those nights…if felt just like the night Bruce got trapped on Arkham, and tonight felt worse. Throwing the blanket off from his sweating body M/n slipped on his slippers and night robes making his way to the living room. Switching on the TV to Gotham city news; pouring himself a small glass of bourbon as he stood watching the TV tirelessly.
“Can’t sleep like this; can’t keep worrying like this, he’s going to be fine, he’s always fine-“
-BREAKING NEWS! Billionaire Bruce Wayne thrown in Arkham City!-
🦇~~~~~~🦇
Alfred was in the kitchen finishing up washing the dishes from dinner when a loud sound of glass shattering erupted the once deathly silent manor.
Dropping the dish in his hand allowed it to fall and shatter as he ran to the source of the sound. Only to come across a scene he’s seen far too many times to count.
M/n Wayne on the floor grasping his mouth with one hand as his shoulders shook with each wrecking sob as the replay of Bruce’s ‘kidnapping’ played on the large flat screen. The glass of bourbon shattered and spread all around M/ns now bloodied hand.
“Master M/n! Sir your hand!”
Alfred rushed towards the sobbing wreck of a man. A man who was always withstanding so much from the emences fear that came with master Bruce’s attention being elsewhere as Batman. Fears that would shatter what little resolve would be left after each night.
Crouching to M/n’s level Alfred gently took hold of the shaking and bleeding hand; aiding m/n Wayne to the couch.
“Up you get master m/n, you didn’t get cut elsewhere sir?-“
“B-Bruce-“
Alfred’s eyes softened seeing the desperate look in those once shining e/c eyes. The worried lines that seemed to become a permanent placement. Alfred always knew things would get worse the farther Bruce delved into his crusade on crime in Gotham. That his mission would hurt those around them and it had. It all started with M/n then…Jason.
They lost a son be it through him simply running away or worse no one knew what happened to Jason only that he was gone and the mansion was far to quiet without his and master Dicks arguments during dinner over small differences in plans.
But looking away from the new outlet on Bruce Wayne being trapped in Arkham; Alfred knew as he patched the now cleaned wounds on master M/n’s hands that M/n was hanging on a rope of desperation as he listened to the new outlet speak on the low survival rates of Arkham city…the city with in the city filled with criminals.
“Master Bruce is quite capable of surviving in such a place master M/n; as we both know”
Sparing a glance up at the man in front of him, the bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin from the lack of sleep had M/n Wayne look more dead than alive with each passing major event like this very one.
“I-I know…but I know Bruce too. And that I know that man won’t simply leave; he’ll investigate which will only lead him deeper into danger-“
“That he will and yet we both know he will always find a way to make it through against all odds sir… would it make you feel more at ease if we both help master Bruce on his mission”
M/n would once in a while help his husband on his missions; give Barbara a break away to rest once in awhile. That was before nearly witnessing his husbands death far to many times.
And yet deep down M/n had to make sure Bruce was safe! That he was even still alive-
‘No he’s still alive damn it!’
Looking down at his well bandaged hand M/n watched as Alfred clean the shattered cup up as he awaited an answer.
“I think that’s a good idea…even if it’s just for a short while, can't let you deal with all the hard work now can I?”
Alfred let out a light hearted chuckle turning his body towards the nearest trash can then to M/n.
“Oh believe me master M/n I’ve handled far worse than master Bruce’s rather common nightly actives; though the help would be much appreciated for both our sakes after all I’m not getting any younger”
Smiling M/n tightened his robe against his body before turning the large flat screen off before following Alfred down to the batcave.
“What are you saying Alfred you’re as young as ever”
M/n joked looking over to the far older man who scoffed at his joke.
“We both know that’s a load of poppycock master m/n”
Laughing as they stepped out from the elevator m/n made his way to the bat computer grabbing one of the ear pieces.
“And Alfred this is why we love you, you don’t take shot from no body”
M/n smiled as Alfred took a seat next to him, his fatherly energy filling the cold cave.
“Well I wouldn’t be a very good butler if I did now what I”
“Oh I don’t know your fighting and medical skill would’ve made up for it, alright let’s get started looks like Bruce is…of course he’s getting into a fight with Cobblepot”
🦇~~~~🦇
“So Brucey I see I can’t leave you alone for a night without you getting into life threatening trouble now can I?”
Upon hearing his husband’s joking voice Bruce nearly slipped during his climb up to the Ace chemical building. Before regaining his grip, scoffing as he spoke.
“Oh I would’ve thought you’d get used to my troubling behavior by now”
“Haha, I have…until recently I mean there was the black gate break, than Arkham asylum, now Arkham city I’m seeing a pattern of places and galas I’ve gotta keep your batty self from”
Laughing Bruce pulled himself on top of the roof looking out over the chaos that was ‘Arkham City’.
“Now where’s the fun in that, besides we both know I can’t just let these people run free. Let alone be placed practically in the middle of Gotham”
M/n smiled upon hearing the passion in Bruce’s voice, the strong morality of his husband and the love he had for the city of Gotham. The kind of love and passion he showed M/n in his protective and loving nature out in public or in their manor.
Yet a part of M/n knew there was far more to Bruce’s more protective nature… to a point that M/n couldn’t help his thoughts from drifting to the missing member of their family…Jason.
Ever since Jason had gone missing; practically vanished off the face of the earth had Batman work non-stop in his crime fighting and his search for the second member of their family of crime fighters. Bruce never forgave himself for Jason going missing, blaming himself for the fight they had before Bruce suited up to take Joker back into Arkham.
And argument M/n had to get in the middle of, it was the last night he spoke to the kid he considered as much his son as any one of Bruce’s adopted sons. And yet this sort of lose had the couple continuing their circle of non-stop fearing for their other half's safety.
More reason why both couldn’t stop the other in their duties. Batman was needed in this crime ridden city the two called home. Gotham but even more so Bruce needed Batman, needed a reason to hope for better.
“That’s putting things mildly; after all, me and Alfred have been looking through the schematics and radio channels and it’s all referring to a ‘Protocol 10’. Sent what data I could grab before the firewalls caught on to Barb…Bruce Tim could be a-“
“No”
Sighing M/n looked over to Tim who was in his Robin uniform upon hearing the news, ending his patrols to check on his tired father.
“Bruce we both know I could help you-“
“I said no Jason! I’m sorry it’s just-“
“Just something you have to do yourself yeah I get it; aye pops I’m heading back out call me when…you know”
Nodding m/n smiled sadly to Tim who’s own worried eyes stared at the bags that sat heavy under his pops e/c eyes. As Tim left the batcave to silence was nearly deafening if it weren’t for the few stray bats flying over head.
“I didn’t mean to-“
“I know babe, Tim knows too”
Alfred took this opportunity to go make them some tea for the long night ahead. Leaving the couple alone on call as Batman read over the few documents on encrypted documents M/n had found.
“He reminds me of him sometimes…always pushing, always-“
“Stubborn, headstrong, always willing to push your buttons to get any mission, training, or patrols you can give him?”
“Yeah”
A mournful silence filled the batcave as the couple focused on the work of the impending arrival of yet another long, exhausting night of crime fighting and investigative work.
“Brucey…at some point whether or not we want to admit it…Tim isn’t a kid anymore…he’s not weak, and at some point you have to let Robin spread his wings”
Bruce knew that everything his husband said was true; no matter how they felt Tim wasn’t Jason…Jason was gone; missing or dead for all they knew he could’ve just took off and didn’t look back. Tim wasn’t some kid anymore, he was trained by the best, his future looked bright even past being a crime fighter.
Sighing Batman took off towards the courthouse, the best place to start his investigation was to ask the best thief in Gotham.
“Tell Robin to keep his coms open to any calls of backup…if this nights anything to go off of right now…there more going on here”
Smiling as Alfred handed him his tea , M/n smiled at the screen of countless radio channels between the TIGER guards.
“It’s going to be one long night; be careful, l don’t want Tim to have to bring you back home in a body bag”
“ that’s not going to happen, I’ll make sure if it…love you”
“Love you too…going on stand by”
I hope you all liked a small taste of this one shot! I’ve loved the Arkham series ever since I first played it! Best games ever shocked there aren’t many of the Arkham series based oneshot out there hope I did a good job for the first of many in this new hyper-fixation of mine!
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starlightseraph · 22 days
Text
love to the brave antis!
i’m being so serious rn when i say that if you’re part of the rpf circle (and that specific one) then please get the fuck away from me and my asks and my posts.
i spent a while hate-reading and rubbernecking, but i was strong enough to block all the major players and i’ve almost entirely kept them blocked. if my inbox last time i mentioned this was anything to go by, clearly some of y’all couldn’t do the same to me.
if you’re in the good omens/staged fandom or a fan of david tennant and michael sheen and somehow aren’t aware, there are a bunch of disgusting blogs that have been spewing hatred and conspiracy theories, for years in some cases. these include but are not limited to: that georgia tennant and anna lundberg baby trapped the guys (with like every kid they’ve had, because david and michael have clearly been on the edge of leaving them so many times), that georgia is repeatedly raping david (???), that she’s abusing him and he’s afraid of her, that david and georgia’s kids hate georgia because they recognise the abuse and are disgusted by it, that anna is some maniacal villain who always planned to trap an established actor because she can’t do anything, that she hates michael, that david and michael are in a sexual and romantic relationship, that they they want to leave their partners for each other, that they already have left their partners in secret, that david and georgia have gotten divorced and are living apart, that georgia’s dad set up her and david on purpose (outside of his influence in getting her the role that they met on), that georgia and anna send coded messages to each other and to followers with the songs they use on instagram stories, that georgia was a criminal-level stalker who baby-reindeer’d david into marrying her, that the four of them have a pr firm that’s orchestrating every flick of their eyes but that this firm is failing miserably by telling them to turn down the heat between david and michael while forcing them to drag georgia and anna along wihh them, and that anyone who doesn’t agree with these rpf blogs is homophobic and wilfully ignorant.
they send death threats to and dox people who dare to say anything against them, i’ve gotten threats myself. @dtmsrpfcringe has gotten wishes of ill on her children and she’s been told that her family doesn’t exist and she’s making them up or is delusional. i myself got death threats and a bunch of abuse on anon for my relatively tame posts on this shit. i was fairly early to the game, i think my first post on the situation was 10ish months ago, and they have radicalised more and more since then. i’m not up to date on their latest insanity— i’ve had them blocked for a long while for my own mental health— but i’m not gonna let the brave people behind the aforementioned blog and others get absolutely vile messages without saying anything.
now i wanna make myself very clear: rpf is fine! real person fiction is fine! i personally don’t like it, but i have no ethical objections as to why others shouldn’t. using the names and likenesses of real people for fun and silly little stories on ao3 is totally ok. but it crosses a line when y’all present the stories as an “investigation” or claim that they’re objective reality. some of the followers of these blogs have admitted to messaging georgia and anna directly about this, and there have also been a few comments on their instagrams that seem fuelled by this stuff, proving that their claims of staying quietly on their own corner of the internet are bullshit.
if anyone’s interested, my old posts on the matter are here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. they’re all months old and quite out of date by now, as i’ve been pretty good at keeping the blogs blocked, but i do think they include some very well-written points (much better than this post lol, i just woke up). something has changed though; i say in one of the posts that i’d have no problem with the theories being true, but the blogs have since begun more proudly displaying some truly insane accusations, which i would absolutely have a huge fucking problem with.
anyways. most of the new stuff i’ve seen comes from tori and co, see dtmsrpfcringe and the council (lol) for more, if you want to see a bunch of wonderful people fighting a shit show to protect the fandom.
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hmshermitcraft · 3 months
Note
U want crackships??? I'll give u crackships!!
Mumbo Jumbo and V1 ULTRAKILL
Literally only because of the Mumbo vampire hc and the fact that they'd both "drink" blood.
Mumbo is kinda weird about drinking blood, it's basically cannibalism, even though he isn't human and it's a vegetarian diet he feels bad when the hermits show up for the monthly blood drive so Mumbo has plenty of caprisun blood bags.
V1 has no such qualms. V1 rolls around in gore like a fucked up little dog, V1 will do anything for a lil sippy of blood, V1 is absolutely flabbergasted when Mumbo is hesitant to eat in front of others.
Where V1 comes from the only one who had an issue with how it ate was Gabriel, and even he got over it eventually since V1 was not about to listen to an angel of all things. Plus there's more important things to worry about, like surviving in hell.
Trying to introduce V1 to the rest of the hermits is a nightmare because V1 is a homicidal maniac who's always hungry, but Mumbo manages it. V1 actually takes a liking to Xisuma because of his past as the doomguy so they manage to bond over their shared experience of battling into/through/out of hell and then killing God. Mumbo is thankful for this because at least V1 is learning that not everything that moves is a snack bar waiting to be eaten.
V1 brings Gabriel along one day because it's good to introduce your boyfriends to each other and Grian catches a glimpse of another previously brainwashed, now wanted criminal angel guy and is like "hell yeah let's be friends" and Gabriel is like "what the fuck is this weird bird???"
V1 being completely unable to speak and also literally a robot makes communication about feelings a bit difficult for Mumbo "emotionally constipated" Jumbo but they make it work with insane games of 20 questions and charades, which diffuses any arguments because it's so silly to watch this murder machine responsible for the extinction of the human race (????) try and communicate "why the fuck did u take my phone charger, i needed that" by gesturing wildly and beeping.
Mumbo lets V1 run wild under Scar's various mountain projects turned mob spawners whenever it gets a little antsy/overwhelmed with the amount of people it can't kill. After it's done mumbo has to pressure wash it so it isn't tracking gore literally everywhere because it has no issue with being covered in guts.
Mumbo is a massive, tall, wide, strong man, and V1 is just a little guy made for speed more than strength because u don't need to be terribly strong to shoot a gun. So basically whenever he wants, he can just pick V1 up and take it anywhere he wants. V1 doesn't mind because Gabriel does it too. What mumbo couldn't have foreseen is lifting V1 up, only to then be lifted up himself by Gabriel, creating a tiered uppies train. This has become a sort of tradition, sometimes V1 will even lift Grian before then being picked up, making a four layer uppies stack.
"hi I'm grain, this is my boyfriend Mumbo, and this is Mumbo's "boy"friend V1, and this is V1's boy"friend" Gabriel."
I don't know what this is, I've just been playing ULTRAKILL and, in my infinite defense, u did ask for this.
-carrie
Sometimes people will ask Mumbo how they got together, in that cute way that happens with couples. Mumbo has no idea. One day he was dating Grian, the next he was also dating an enthusiastic robot with a thirst for blood.
Once V1 gets the hang of 'no killing or maiming' there's at least plenty of hermits willing to duel with it. V1 always looks a little too happy about winning. None of the hermits even care at this point, they've all seen it carried under Mumbo's arm like a misbehaving dog. Ruins the intimidation factor a little.
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physalian · 4 months
Note
Could you make a post about a character slowly losing their humanity while trying to hold onto it? It's a main theme in my current WIP and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to go about it.
Losing their humanity like “The Fly” or “Metamorphosis” where it’s a curse/transformation/sickness, and is both quite literal and mental? Or losing their humanity as in, a character has done unspeakable things and is spiraling into psychopathy?
There’s so many directions you could go here depending on what your genre, rating, and tone is. First, you have to define what humanity means to you as an author and what it means to your world and your characters. Murder might be the worst crime in one novel, and a casual occurrence in another. So, at what point is your character no longer “human”?
This is incredibly specific to your story and advice here is definitely not ‘one size fits all’ so I’ll do my best and I’ll use a very popular movie to back me up: The Dark Knight.
Harvey Dent goes from saint to savage in less than 3 hours, about… I think three weeks maybe in-universe? The movie pulls this off in a few ways:
Right off the bat, there’s hints that this character has a loose circuit somewhere. Comics fans know he becomes Two Face, but layman audiences are still thrown a bone with Harvey’s rather quick rise to prominence in infamously-crime-ridden Gotham. So, he’s not starting as Mr. Rodgers.
Harvey’s job puts immense pressure on him to perform with a lot to lose if he fails. This makes his room for error to avoid catastrophe very narrow and raises the stakes for every action he takes. In essence, any one mistake can be devastating, making catastrophe more believable in the story.
When he starts losing, he loses a lot very quickly. Harvey is bombarded with the mob gremlins trying to escape the law, the Joker running around blowing up holes in the justice system and raining chaos everywhere, his wishy-washy girlfriend who’s hesitant to accept his proposal, and increasing pressure to hand over his hero, Batman, to a maniac, to stop the murders, and he can’t do much of anything about it. Even with small victories, it’s one step forward and three steps back and he’s being fundamentally and existentially thwarted at every turn.
He’s desperate, afraid, and powerful, three *very* bad traits in combination. His slippery slide into madness gets a little steeper when he kidnaps a criminal and screams through an interrogation, then it drops off a cliff when Rachel dies instead of him in a so-called game of chance.
“Chance” here, and Harvey’s ability and presumption of control, is his whole identity. He’s Two-Face. He’s got a double-headed coin to rig his bets. When Rachel dies, he’s lost control over everything, and he just shatters. She dies and he lives and he abandons his core values to embrace Joker’s vision of absolute anarchy, because what’s the point in trying to fight fate?
All of this works despite this monster of a plot, where he’s not even the main villain, because he had so far to fall, and the world of Batman lends itself to insanity coming on quickly. Joker even says that “madness is like gravity, all you need is a little push”.
So without having any details on your WIP I’d have this to say:
Figure out what moral code or person or object your character holds most central to their identity
Circle the drain of destroying it, forcing the character to grow desperate enough to protect it, going to ends they normally wouldn’t with the best of intentions
Destroy that thing
Let them crumble in the aftermath as they can no longer reconcile their core beliefs with the world they live in, and lash out as the wounded animal they’ve become
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iconuk01 · 1 year
Text
So You've Kidnapped Your Robin... What Next?
As an up and coming villain, you've captured your Robin. Well done!
It was likely to be less challenging than you expected it to be, as it happens a LOT, but you've still managed quite the accomplishment, so take a moment to congratulate yourself.. but make sure you've tied him up first, as many a nascent criminal career has been reduced to a one shot appearance by gloating instead of securing... As we say in these circles: "Be kind, rebind"... though I suspect that's showing our age these days.
So... now you have to decide what to do with the Teen Wonder.
Was the capture part of a plan? Or were you just winging it? Be honest, we won't judge.
Either way in your, now hopefully well secured, Robin you have a very aesthetically pleasing captive. Classically handsome, brightly coloured outfit (very useful for brand recognition) and clearly has never missed leg day in his life...
His mere reluctant presence is guaranteed to brighten any lair up, even if you just have him drugged and tied up on the floor...
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Or bound and gagged in a corner... there are few who can match the Teen Wonder for radiating "pissed off damsel" vibes when he's being held captive.
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If you, or your current crime spree, have already picked a theme, then we'd actively encourage you to make him part of it. He's got the RANGE!
If it's your birthday, tie him to a giant incendiary candle.
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If you're going for a puppet gimmick, then the colourful costume makes for a perfect centrepiece...
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Even for old-school classics like running a coven of devil worshippers, again, he can fits right into your evil scheme..
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If it's just straightforward torture you're into (A little gratuitous perhaps, but there are worse things), then he has more than enough style of his own to make it work
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And any off-the-cuff, impulsive, murder attempt can be livened up if your target is a brightly oufitted, acrobatic hero.
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An old favourite is to make him part of your grander plan to torment Batman, whether it's a spur of the moment decision to use random giant props you have lying around
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Or maybe as a distraction so you can flirt/fight with Batman
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Or a complex plan to drive Batman insane with fake murders of Robin leading up to the real thing, your Teen Wonder will make a fine addition to your scheme whether in terms of quantity
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or quality.
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So never be afraid to use him to maximum advantage.
Of course, by now the more perceptive of you might have wondered how he can be put into so many different predicaments AND STILL BE AROUND!
This is a fair question and, as you might soon discover, has a fairly obvious answer: He's been in so many traps, because he's gotten OUT of so many traps! Batman often helps...
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As do the Titans...
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.. but he's resourceful and skilled enough to get out of a great many different varieties of restraint by himself.
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So, in summary, our advice with your kidnapped Robin is this:
Make sure he's properly tied up before you do anything else! (Have you checked the knots on the ropes you used since you started reading this article? You might want to do that now... we'll wait.).
Make the most of your Robin for your high profile criminal advantage whilst you have him. (Don't take any other kind of advantage, that'd just be tacky. Supervillains may be criminals, and sometimes homicidal maniacs, but we have standards!)
Don't feel too bad if you don't manage to kill him. You won't be the first, you won't be the last.
If you DO manage it, congratulations! Though you now have every member of the JLA, Teen Titans and BATMAN after you... good luck with THAT!
So, even if he escapes, remember that with the Boy Hostage, there will ALWAYS be a next time!
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gothamslostboy · 1 year
Note
Could i get Jerome headcanons if he were to find out his male S/O was a notorious criminal/killer?
Ofc bud! Thanks for the request:] it was really easy to write and I had a great time with it, hope you enjoy
Jerome W/ Killer S/O
He was intrigued the moment he met you
Jerome had seen you before
He knew he had
But couldn’t quite place it
That didn’t matter to him all that much
He was much more interested in the fact the you weren’t scared of him, no, you actually flirted with him
That was something he’d never seen before, and boy did he like it
The flirting happened at times he wouldn’t expect, like bumping into eachother while he flees a murder scene
It didn’t take long for you two to make it official
Which is when Jerome started to put pieces together
For all his insanity and blabbering, he had quite the keen eye
He notices how little you talk about your life before Gotham, giving vague answers or avoiding the questions entirely
He notices the way your eyes light up while he explains the various crimes he commits
Your hands twitching on top of your bouncing knee as you wait for more details
How you seem to have endless ideas for what he should try next
Jerome took these to mean you were just a killer in waiting, that he will have to be the one to help you accept these thoughts and turn them into actions
Until the news station managed to get you on camera one night
Even briefly, it was enough for police officers from several states to identify you and call Gordon
He had shown up at your apartment the next night
Coincidentally the same night you and Jerome were enjoying date night
Jerome heard Jim call out for someone, a Y/N L/N, to come out with his hands up, and figured they had the wrong place
That’s not the name he knew you by anyways
But as soon as he looked back at you, a grin broke out on his face
“Ooooohhh, what ya been hiding Doll? Has to be interesting enough for you to change yo-“
Jerome finally remembered where he knew you from
Years ago, while still at the circus he had read a news paper
A boy his age going all across North America, torturing and killing at least 5 close ones of the most well respected police officer in every place they travel
Jerome was buzzing with excitement as he followed you to a safe hidden in the bed room
“Sorry I Never told you Jer, was trying to get to Gordon under the radar ya’know? So he wouldn’t see it coming”
Meanwhile he’s bouncing on his feet, laughing maniacally as you hand him one of your guns
“I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING IN YA! I KNEW IT DOLL!”
The two of you manage to escape the apartment, you aiming a shot at Bullock and hitting his knee
When you get back to Jerome’s hide out, he immediately pulls you into a passionate kiss
When y’all are done, Jerome wants to know everything about your crimes
How many have you killed?
How’d you kill them?
Did the other cops get destroyed?
Who are your targets this time?
As soon as you say Bruce’s name he gets really excited again
Making plans right then and there for you guys to kill him together
Overall he absolutely loves the fact you’re a criminal
Loves that you’re as insane as he is
Jerome’s gonna provide all the help you need to shatter James Gordon into a million pieces
I mean, what else are boyfriends for?
——— TAGS ———
@g4ywastaken @britany1997
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roththeprimordial · 2 years
Text
Danny: Spongebob, we heard there was some trouble! So I called Timmy and Jimmy so we can help out!
Spongebob: Thank Neptune! Be careful guys, this is one of my most deadly opponents yet!
Timmy: Really? Where is he Spongebob! Let's kick his butt!
Spongebob: He's right over there!
Doodlebob: Mi Ha Minoi!
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Jimmy:... What?
Spongebob: We better beat him up so we can save the Bikini Bottom and beyond!
Danny: Spongebob, uhh... Is this really the appropriate thing to do?
Spongebob: What do you mean?
Jimmy: What we mean is-... Uhh, how do I say this?
Timmy: He just seems a little... Slow...
Spongebob: What do you mean? He's as fast as the sea devil!
Jimmy: We mean, he seems mentally handicapped.
Spongebob: Oh... But- But it's not like we're gonna beat up a mentally handicapped person! I mean, come on! We fight crazy villains all the time!
Danny: We fight the CRIMINALLY INSANE... But, I mean, Doodlebob doesn't seem like that...
Doodlebob: MI HA HOIMINOI!
Timmy: I mean, good God, Spongebob... Haven't you tried talking to Doodlebob?
Spongebob: You guys try talking to that maniac!
Danny: Alright... Hi there, Doodlebob, I'm Danny Phantom. Did you really mean to wreck half of the Bikini Bottom?
Doodlebob: De da, malapaba maba! Mui mihaminoi! Mui! Nui minui! Miha Hui Minui!
Danny: Uhh... What did he say?
Spongebob: He said it made him feel happy to cause so much pain and devastation to innocent civilians.
Timmy: Maybe you just mistranslated him.
Spongebob: MISTRANSLA-!? What!? I saw him kill five innocent fish in cold blood!
Jimmy: I mean, maybe he's just scared and confused. You gave him life and now because you didn't teach him how to function in proper society, he's lashing out in fear and confusion. That's pretty shameful, Spongebob.
Spongebob: ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I just-... Okay, you know what? Fine. You guys handle this. I'm gonna go see a movie or something. Have fun you guys!
(Spongebob walks off)
Timmy: Jeez, what's eating him?
Danny: Don't worry about him, Doodlebob. We know your not a bad guy. Say, wanna become an honorary Nicktoon?
Doodlebob:
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-Later-
Doodlebob: MINOI HA MINUI ABABABABA!
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205 notes · View notes
theangrycomet-art · 1 year
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Project Water Tower: The Maniacs
Former Anvilanian Black Ops designed to address the planet’s more dangerous missions ranging from anywhere to infiltration to eliminating targets.
Disbanded due to Experiments revolt.
TLDR: my interpretations on how Animaniacs descendants/reincarnations would fit into Loonatics Unleashed: Government Experiment gone Wrong
FILE: Head, Heart, Guts
Experiment G-1aC: Dubbed Giacomo by Dr.VonScritch
DNA Ratio: 20% Rabbit, 14% Cat, 11% Canine, 9% Eel, 6% Flea, 40% Unknown
Abilities: Living Database
eidetic memory
able DOWNLOAD information from digital formats
ex. swallowed a flashdrive of confidential files only to recite the contents of said files to Dr. VonScritch through song the next morning
can download from a cloud database with Ethernet cable extensions, though complains extensively through out the process
has an odd preference for books, despite not being able download the material
electrokinesis
overuse leads to subject G-1aC to short circuit or “bluescreen”
“Bluescreening” can be stimulated through high voltage electroshocks
Notes: Sept. 29, 2051 Despite being able to “download” any information he pleases, Giacomo has shown much more interest in learning as well as bringing in his siblings interest up as well. Request for more reading materials and more stimulating toys. -Dr. VonScritch
Request: Denied. Subject G-1aC will download any information it needs.
Location: Watertower
Update: July 4, 2770: Maniacs Captured and Detained
Current Location: High Security Solitary Confinement Cell, Anvilanian Detention Center for the Criminally Insane
Update: Jan. 23, 2771
Subject G-1aC reported missing.
Update: Feb. 13, 2771
Subject G-1aC located and detained. Reprogram security program. Guard Change.
Update: May. 3, 2771
Subject G-1aC reported missing.
Update: August. 24, 2771
Subject G-1aC located and detained. Reprogram security program. Guard Change.
Update: Dec. 24, 2771
Subject G-1aC reported missing.
Update: Jun. 2771
Subject G-1aC located and detained by Acmetropolis-Terranium Protectorate, returned to Anvilania. Reprogram security program. Guard Change. Replace lock with deadbolt.
Update: Nov. 5, 2772
Subject G-1aC reported missing.
Update: Dec. 24, 2772
Subject G-1aC located and detained by Merrie Melody Galactic Force. Replace security program and increase deadbolts. Guard Change.
Update: Jan. 1, 2773.
Subject G-1aC transferred to Martian Detainment Center for examination and integration into the Ele-Computing System M.4.
FILE: Head, Heart, Guts
Experiment L-0773: Dubbed Loretta “Lottie” by Dr. VonScritch- 2044
DNA Ratio: 24% Cat, 17% Rabbit, 12% Canine, 7% Skunk. 40% Unknown
Abilities: Cute Charm
can cause instant adoration upon contact (74% of humans exposed to weak to it, while only 32% of Anthromorphs affected)
Increased exposure to affected parties leads to decrease in cognitive thinking and rational decision making skills
45% of humans with no initial reaction began to show signs of the “Charmed Effect” with continuous exposure
58% of Anthromorph with no initial reaction began to show signs of the “Charmed Effect” with continuous exposure
Charmed Effect cancels out, however, once the subject is no longer exposed to Subject (takes anywhere from seconds to an hour)
Source still uncertain: requires more testing
Notes: Mar. 30, 2051. Lottie decided to take matters into her own hands. Their entire room has been scribbled on to show some waxy semblance of color. She’d traded Doc a years worth of her deserts and Giacomo her beloved stuffed Kitty for their crayons to complete the task, and based upon her rather pleased features I can safely say she has little regrets. Requesting more coloring materials and crafting supplies. -Dr. VonScritch
Request: Denied. Room cleansing scheduled.
Weapons Specialist: Scan any and all Objects that will be in Subject L-0773′s possession before allowing it to handle them under supervision.
Location: Watertower
Update: July 4, 2770: Maniacs Captured and Detained
Current Location: High Security Solitary Confinement Cell, Blanc Detention Center, Sector 3v of Planet Blanc
Update: Nov. 12, 2773
Subject L-0773 removed from Solitary Confinement for Good Behavior
Update: Nov. 17, 2773
Supject L-0773 reported missing.
FILE: Head, Heart, Guts
Experiment D-0oC: Dubbed Doc, or Docko by Dr.VonScritch
DNA Ratio: 22% Canine, 11% Cat, 11% Rabbit, 10% Salamander, 6% Tasmanian Devil, 40% Unknown
Abilities: Matter Transmogrification, “Matter Recycling”
anything material, organic or inorganic, Subject D-0oC eats, it can take the properties of
ex: consumption of steel bed frame -> increased density and luster, cells might as well be made of steel
the more matter it consumes the longer the effects last
complete control over its mass has led to limited shape shifting
higher molecular density than subjects G-1aC and subject L-0773
Update: Anvilite Coating Experiment successful, though recovery is taking longer than expected. Subject D-0oC collapsing randomly during training. Cancel surgeries for Subject G-1aC and Subject L-0773 until Subject D-0oC if further stabilized.
Notes: May 16, 2052  Doc’s shyer, quieter disposition makes it challenging to get him to open up about any issues he’s been having. I suspect that due to his abilities, he needs a significantly higher calorie intake than his siblings. Additionally, I have found numerous indicators that the boy is developing poor vision. Request for a discussion in change in diet as well as an optometrist visit- Dr. VonScritch:
Request Denied: Dietary needs are being met and Subject D-0oC physical displayed no need for vision aids.
Location: Watertower
Update: July 4, 2770: Maniacs Captured and Detained
Current Location: High Security Solitary Confinement Cell, Acmetropolis Subterranean Prison
Update: June 13, 2770
Subject D-0oC attempted to break out, minor damage to interior structures, minimal injuries to staff and prisoners.
Increased security, Change in Diet. No more silverware allowed.
Update: April 1, 2071
Subject D-0oC attempted to break out, severe injuries of the guards stationed by its cell.
Increased Security, transferred to “the Pit”. Strictly IV nutrients and Fluids. Muzzle is to be kept on at all times.
Update: Nov. 5, 2072
Subject D-0oC’s cell damaged with comet strike. Severe structural damage, Sever injuries amongst Staff and Prisoners. 18 casualties caused by subject D-0oC.
To be placed under sedation until further notice.
Update: Mar. 24, 2774
Subject D-0oC is scheduled to be transferred to Anvilanian Detention Center for the Criminally Insane. To be escorted with Armed Guard until transferred to Loonatics for transport.
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sclitvde · 6 months
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CLOSED STARTER
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Group therapy is the worst fucking part of his incarceration so far but he couldn't complain too much, not after his brutal stint in solitary confinement for beating one of those ' jackbooted fucks ' to an inch of his life. It honestly was that guard's fault for just getting a little too close for comfort. Well, note taken, the price for displaying his discomfort is solitary. Won't make THAT mistake again, he thinks to himself, pale hues dancing around the circle of murderous, criminally - insane (mostly human) men, chained to where they sat.
"Well, uh, everyone " the meek therapist, a fuzzy - faced kid of twenty - four years, makes an attempt to gather everyone's attention before one rather obnoxious inmate pipes up.
"SHEE-IT," begins Richard Collins, who sits opposite the group therapist and close to one of the group's new attendees, "didn't know we had a Clip-Clopper 'round here." That gets a strangled chuckle out of Eddie, which, unfortunately, spurs Collins on further:
"Yeah, yeah, and, uh " Eddie's smile drops into a tight line; Collins tows a thin line of gaining Eddie's favor or earning his displeasure with each passing stutter. The broad - shouldered man doesn't cast his gaze on the subject of ridicule, but he does lean forward, the ringing of his chains hidden under the maniacal laughter of the group.
"Fuck, look at this demonspawn! Yeah, yeah Bet your daddy used those handlebars " And something in Eddie snaps, the perverse thought, a distinct memory, melting any amusement he held for this relentless game of insults.
No, Collins hit something a little too close to Eddie's psyche.
"Dickie," he interrupts lowly in his carefully curated vintage timbre, through gritted teeth barred in a wide, false smile. "If you don't shut the fuck up," large frame leans as close to the other as iron chains may allow, "I'm goin' to rip your tongue out and shove it down your stupid fucking gullet, you Old Fuck."
"Mr. Gluskin," the group therapist's voice cuts through Eddie's commanded silence over the group and, before he can continue, Eddie mutters the therapist's stupid perceived reminder.
"Ten deep breaths." Which he sits back in his seat and reluctantly endeavors to complete, giving himself a moment to observe the subject of Collins's insulting crusade while the session awkwardly continues. The tieflings he'd seen kept to themselves mostly, weren't real troublemakers why was this one here?
plotted-ish starter of eddie being eddie
for @musezieren's sirius :3
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grimark · 2 years
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i bought my mum the dvd box set of hamish macbeth for christmas because she wanted the dvd box set of hamish macbeth and i was like “hmm it’ll be interesting to see robert carlyle playing a cop when i’m more used to seeing him play various flavours of insane little criminal maniacs” but then the very first episode opened on him aiding and abetting petty crime and ended on a cannibalism joke. so like.
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alritestoodeos · 11 months
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Summoning the OG timeline characters (badly) Pt. 4
Our story begins with the kind and humble Havik, who sees a boy named Shujinko, who is training to be the very best, like no one ever was. Now, Havik resided in Chaosrealm, where the only rule was there were no rules, and he wanted to share this with young Shujinko. So he fucking jumps the kid and Shujinko fairs off against him. Then Havik, being the tweaker he is, is like “Good job bud your training is done. Then Shujinko is like “WTF DO YOU MEAN TRAINING IS DONE U TRIED KILLING ME BITCH” and Havik was like “Yea that’s the training lmfao” and Shujinko’s like “ohhh lmfao. So what’s good g?” and Havik is like “there’s some MCGA asswholes from Orderrealm who want to get rid of the  c h a o s . So I want you to kick they asses and put these silly little armbands on them that says they like chaos” and Shujinko’s like “lmao thats sum good shit. Brb,” and Shujinko leaves, and on his way back he talks to Havik and is like “my man Havik I did it. But why tf was they in a water temple?” and Havik is like “Water’s gucci af” and Shujinko’s like “oh ok lol can i have a key to get a Kamidogu now?” which is an ancient artifact the “elder gods” want him to get, and Havik’s like “oh shi tru here” and he gives shujinko the key. So Shujinko leaves and now Havik is alone again. Yep. All alone. Noothing to do in Chaosrealm except scream and do silly shit. Yep. Very fun. … … … “Oh shit wait I remember some dude telling me that if those Kamodo Dragon things merge together, Onaga the Dragon King will come back and rule over all the realms. Can’t have that. No sir. I hate rules” so Havik makes his way to Onaga’s temple and on the way finds a burned cripple and is like “dude tf are you good?” and he’s like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” and Havik’s like “sweet. So tell me about yourself Kabal” and Kabal’s like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” and Havik’s like “Oh shit he took your hookswords, too? Damn. Red Dragon ain got no chill. Say why dont you start the black dragon back up with you as the leader?” and Kabal is like “AAAAAAAAAAAAlright. Sounds sick” so Havik heals him up with his silly powers and now Kabal is better than ever, but Havik also had to make him criminally insane bc thats how Chaos magic works. So Kabal and Havik pull up in Earthrelam and they find this Afghani refugee and she’s also criminally inane, and Kabal and Havik are like “come with us” and she’s like “ok” and then they go to new york city and they find this maniac going around robbing and killing people with martial arts and fucking fire and they’re like “sick” and they find him and he’s like “WHO DARES CHALLENGE THE GREAT POWERFUL KOBRA-” and Havik’s like “sick ok you wanna join us?” and Kobra’s like “ok”, and thus Black Dragon: The Squeakquel was formed. And Havik’s like “alr boys plan’s simple. Shujinko’s on his way to resurrect Onaga fsr and we don’t want that because he’ll make everything have rules and stuff. So what we’re gonna do is wait for the heroes of the realms to come by and help Shujinko bc he’s dumb as nuts and doesn’t know what he’s doing, we let everyone kick Onaga’s keester, and that’s when I go in, eat his heart, and we become ruler of the realms” and they’re like “k” and so they go, and sure enough, the heroes of the realms had defeated Onaga. But before Havik could get to Onaga, Nightwolf, one of the heroes, is like “we defeated Onaga, that’s crazy, woah! Let’s send him to Netherealm, the stupid ho!” and so he sends his soul to Netherrealm before Havik could get his heart. And then Havik isn’t really seen until the fight of Armageddon fighting Cyrax, and then he dies like pretty much everyone else.
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