#creativeinstincts

[clivecreative]

3 Steps to Reduce Stress. Part One: Read the Signals

I count myself fortunate to be in a profession in which I get to see positive shifts in peoples lives. Seeing people overcoming the negative effects of stress is one of them.

Being able to identify stress and how it is showing up in your life is the first step to reducing its negative effects.

It is worth mentioning here at the outset that stress in itself is not unnatural. It is there to signal a need to adapt. It becomes problematic when the signals are prolonged and not responded to.

There are many reasons for this, some internal, some external. Either way, a shift of some sort needs to occur.

In this way stress is not unlike a poison – in so far that it is not the substance itself that will kill you but the dose.

Recognising that you are under stress is the first step. For those who know they are in a stressful situation – extreme or otherwise – this first step is easy. You know the symptoms because you feel them – viscerally. At the extreme end this can show up emotionally. Fear, panic attacks, high anxiety, all are sadly common. Physical manifestations such as heart palpitations, high blood pressure, and brain fog are also not uncommon traits.

If left untreated these states rarely end well.

For others – those suffering from a more moderate forms of stress – the signals of their condition might be far more subtle. The signals may even be considered as part of normal life because they have been so consistent over a number of years that the subject may have normalised them.

In some cases, such as CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder – a condition where an individual is still anticipating the negative effects of a past traumatic event) people can live in a perpetual state of anxiety, highly vigilant to even the slightest shifts in their environment and think that that is just how life is.

Those dealing with such states can use all number of coping mechanisms to deal with it, but until they get to the root of it, then all attempts at care or self care will be palliative and not an actual cure.

To cure it you must get to the root.

And to get to the root you must first know how and what you actually feel. This is the first step. In order to reduce the harmful effects of stress you must first recognise its effects, both emotional and physical. To Follow... PART TWO: Know the Cause

[modelthrowdown]

Modelthrowdown.com Model @badgalbi ・・・ #tbt D A D D Y S G I R L 👅 my all time fave by @creative_instincts my secret lover 💖 . . . . . . . #photoshoot #model #lingerie #creativeinstincts #instadaily #instagood #choker #girlswithink #girlswithtattoos

[oozeinspiration]

Happy Fall everyone!!! It’s my favorite time of year 💛🧡🤎 of course the colors are amazing in fall and spring, but I feel a sense of balance during this time too. Between fun and productive! At Ooze we know that they can be the same thing which is why I often tag #funisproductive . I hope you find something fun to do and feel productive about this season. If you need help finding the fun in your productivity then DM me about oozing with art in a virtual class. . #colorlovers #oozingart #oozeinspiration #oozeinspo #falllovers #autumnishere #autumcolors #natureartwork #natureisart #artisnatural #creativityiscontagious #creativityisnatural #creativeinstinct #feelgoodmoreoften #breakupthemonotony #fallfun https://www.instagram.com/p/CFfHPqhjLrL/?igshid=uxr7lyk51px5

[creativeinstinctsocialmedia-blog]

Nel momento in cui scegli, escludi! #creativeinstinct #socialmedia #facebook #instagram #twitter #strategy #creative #invention #SMM #social #post #viral #business #socialnetwork #media #online #onlinestrategy #webmarketing #web #new #pages #account #manager #instinct

[susiehough]

Quotes to live by from @faycarlosbrown. . . . . Never put your happiness in someone else’s hands, they’ll drop it. They’ll drop it every time. . . . #sketchbook #journal #concertina #art #illustration #graphics #artist #ink #drawing #paint #watercolour #typography #trees #treeobsession #love #lifelesson #creative #creativeinstinct

[annaquinnsgroovyblog-blog]

A little Monday motivation for you...the back of my official 2017 calendar shot entirely by @creative_instincts 🙌 PRE ORDER your signed copy here - annaquinn.bigcartel.com They will also be available through @calendargirlsuk 😆 @ladiesofmetal #ladiesofmetal #annaquinnuk #annaquinn #creativeinstincts #tattoos #tattooedgirls #inkedgirls #inked #tattooed #ink #calendargirls #calendar #calendargirlsuk

[poetschoicewriter]

Poets Choice Staircase Lighting.. #crystallighting #creativeinstincts #creativemagnificentlighting #magnificentlights #staircaselighting Contact us at FB Page : Poets Choice , Triveni Lights

[graystardesign]

This quote says it all. Running a creative business certainly should follow this ideal, with making sure you are having fun and are able to express and exercise your ideas and thoughts. How else would you bring new items or products to the table? These next few days are dedicated to just that. I have a whole lot of ideas that need working out so the rest of the week will be focused on making them come alive. Happy Wednesday! #inspirationalquotes #creativeinstincts #richardbranson #businessquotes (at The Studio)

[clivecreative]

Neurosis as an Invitation to Growth 

Neurosis is both the problem and the solution.

It is a path that can lead to an increase in consciousness, an increase in consciousness of a part of oneself of which you were previously less conscious.

In this regard it can be seen as an invitation towards greater wholeness.

It is a signpost on a path to greater integration.

It is a marker for potential growth.

It is nothing more and nothing less than an opportunity.

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[clivecreative]

No Such Thing As Good Advice 

During my mid to late teens I had occasion to meet and listen to a lot of elderly people. Perhaps it was a bit of a meme amongst them but I would often hear a common refrain, that ‘youth was wasted on the young.’

After hearing this a few times I began asking if there was anything specific that they meant by this. They would generally say that experience in life had taught them that youth is a time of less responsibility and greater vitality. I began to follow this with ‘if they had their time again, what they would do differently?’ 

Given that memory can be selective, my recollection is that almost every single one said they wished they had travelled more. They may well have just meant ‘as well as’ living the lives they had. I took it as an invitation to just travel.

At 19 I packed a bag and left. I went round the world several times for the best part of 12 years, finally settling in the town where I currently live.

It wasn’t advice as such, because it wasn’t offered directly to me. It was more like a balance of information gained through observation, a weight of opinion that lingered in me until I had a moment of insight and inspiration at 19. 

What it took to activate was a catalyst moment, a moment that tipped the balance. What went before that planted the seed, but what made the difference was choosing to take dramatic action when the opportunity arose.

There are many ways one can choose to live their life. This idea of Deep Potential is one such way. To be present with life, to take on board the information and experiences that come our way, and to trust in the deeper intelligence – the higher self as some will call it – the Self – the unconscious elements of the psyche. That part of us that has the capacity to hold and process and advocate for the best life – or, to phrase it better, a better expression of life. 

In my experience, the value of advice has been in the fact that it has either confirmed or denied my own perspective, or experience, never because I have acted on it directly. Travel certainly broadened my mind and opened my heart, but I couldn’t say that it would do the same for anyone. 

Would I advise anyone to travel? No. But I would say that in my experience travelling was a life changing experience, and one that I am grateful I had.

. . . . . . .

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. . . . . . .

[clivecreative]

Where to Find the Best Advice 

The answer to this question depends on who you are and what you want advice for. 

That said, generally I would say the following:

Yourself. First of all, seek your own counsel.  Trust yourself, and if you don’t trust the version of yourself to offer the advice you sense you seek in the moment, then maybe let your higher self guide you?  What do I mean by this?  Nothing more complicated than allowing a deeper part of you to guide you. What is your gut instinct? Or do you have an intuition about the situation.  There are other exercises that can help with this, some of which are shared here, here, here, and here. So I won’t go into them any deeper here. But yes, seek your own counsel. First and foremost learn to trust yourself.  If you want a second opinion then this…

Someone Else Seek out someone who you can see has accomplished the thing/s that you are seeking to accomplish, or is expressing the qualities you wish to express. Not because they tell you that is what they have done, but because you see the evidence of it in them. Show them courtesy and, where sought, explain your reasons. Be prepared to explain the ways in which you sought the answer first and where you got stuck seeking a solution. Be prepared to identify what it is they have accomplished that led you to seek their advice. If they do not wish to share advice then accept that graciously too. If they do share advice then show them the courtesy of listening with your mind and your heart. Once you part, go back to step one.

No Such Thing I was once told that there is no such thing as good advice because wise people don’t need it and idiots ignore it. I’m still confused as to where that locates me on the spectrum for hearing a truth in it?  Either way, it illustrates the point of steps 1 and 2. At the end of the day, the final choice comes back to you.  Know yourself, and to your own self be true. . . . . . . .

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[clivecreative]

What is The Biggest Challenge Living Through Your Late 20’s? 

The same thing at any age perhaps?

Namely, integrating better with those truths in life that we have separated from, and letting go of the things that no longer serve us.

That said, it is fair to say that around the late 20’s this can be focussed in specific areas of life, and in specific ways.

It is fair to say that the vast majority of my patients and clients are in their late 20’s, and while each person comes with a unique set of needs and challenges, there appears to be a general commonality amongst them. At some levels it is always a question of relating and adapting, but I’d like to expand that out for a moment to share a little more context.

Of course, this will always depend on the individual, and there is no right or wrong way about it because we are all different, but this can show up at a biological level as a desire to settle into a relationship and have children. This is common between the ages of 25 and 35. In my experience this drive appears to start to peak in women who have not yet had children around the age of 28, but this is not exclusive. Men can also feel this drive too. When either sex feels this and does not have a mate then this can become an issue. The stronger the instinct, the stronger the issue too.

For men, traditionally, the period toward the end of the 20’s can show up with questions as to what they are doing with their life, what effect are they having on the world. Are they making a mark?

Biologically, for those without children at a similar age to their partners, they might be contending with the instinctive pressures that their partners are feeling to have children too. One’s sense of responsibility can shift away from oneself as an individual and towards the prospect of becoming a potential family. That is rarely a small step in anyones life. For those who feel uncertain or unconfident about taking it, then this can be a common source of pressure.

For those who are single, or in relationships where the prospect of having children is not a consideration, then the question of ‘What am I doing with my life?’ can still be present.

For both sexes there appears to be a period around the end of their 20’s when they take stock of the direction of their lives and question what their purpose is – or if the path they are on is actually the right one.

If there is difficulty during this period for either sex I would say that it rests here, or at least in this general area. 

Is the life you are currently living fulfilling you in all of the ways it could? 

Are you living true to your potential or not?

Do you feel like you are on the right path or do you need to change tack?

In conclusion then perhaps the hardest part of one’s late 20’s is working that bit out. What is the right path for you? What will ultimately be the best option for you?

Once this is resolved then individuals generally either recommit to the path they are on or change tack completely. 

The hardest part of one’s late 20’s then is perhaps getting to the place where you have made the right choice and can commit to it fully. 

. . . . .

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[clivecreative]

Three Signs to Look Out For as Progress in Psychotherapy 

Here are three signs that you are progressing in your psychotherapy:

1. An Increase in Ego Strength.

Your ability to feel your emotions without feeling toppled by them is a good sign. Ego strength is not about the sense of what or who you think you are – that is more the concept of yourself, or you ‘self concept’. 

The ego is the sense of being that you have. The ‘I am’ that is having the experience. 

Having a strong ego essentially translates to being able to meet the experience of life as it is. Emotions are generally the signals of instinctual drives. Learning how to read them as signals more accurately, and to our advantage, is generally a step in a healthy direction. It is often when we misread these cues that we end up maladapting to the world, to other people, and to ourselves. 

2. Things Can Get Worse Before They Get Better

It’s an odd one this, but, especially near the beginning of a therapeutic relationship things can sometimes feel like they are getting worse. Strangely this can be a good sign. Of course, the period that it lasts for needs to be taken into account, but generally speaking, for a certain period it is not uncommon, and no bad thing.

Sometimes, old patterns of behaviour, established in the past – e.g. the result of the patient being forced to make a poor decision in a bad situation – can amp up in intensity. Sometimes. 

Sometimes this amplification of affect, of feeling our emotions, is a sign that the patient is learning to feel in a deeper way, that their ego is strengthening. This is why therapy can be uncomfortable, because often we are being called to go into the valid suffering we have been avoiding in order to release ourselves from the unnecessary suffering that we can end up repeating in an attempt to avoid facing the valid suffering, or the fear of it. This is an over simplification, and each case will vary, but the premise is generally true.

3. You Feel Better More of the Time (Except When…)

The clue is sort of in the language. Feeling Better. After all, isn’t that why we attend therapy, to heal? Perhaps the best metric for that is that we feel better. Too obvious? Well, Yes and no. Sigmund Freud, the founder of Psychoanalysis, identified a phenomena with patients he called ‘Flight to Health’ in which a patient might present as suddenly feeling much better thank you very much. This can even occur prior to a session. Previously wrapped up in symptoms when making the appointment a patient can arrive suddenly feeling much better. Or after a single session. This is not uncommon. Again, without contact it is very difficult to say when there is genuine healing taking place and this ‘flight to health.’ Psychotherapy really needs to be conducted on a case by case basis. However, the principle exists. This is another good reason why a block of sessions in a treatment plan is advised, and can be more helpful that single intermittent sessions. In the same way that a patients can suddenly get worse then they can suddenly get better. 

The baseline though is still valid. If, over time, you realise that you are feeling better more of the time, then that is a good sign. If your symptoms ease, or your relationship to them changes for the better, if events, or situations, or people that you used to struggle with become tolerable, manageable, maybe even inconsequential, then these are indications that you are making good progress in psychotherapy.

. . . . . . .

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[clivecreative]

How To Get Beyond Your Comfort Zone 

I was recently asked this question. 

‘How do you go far and beyond your comfort zone?“

My answer.

“One step at a time.’

Here’s the thing, you don’t notice how far you have travelled until you look back and see where you were. 

Each time you push the edge of the envelope it doesn’t take long before you find yourself in a place that feels comfortable again. The edge expands and you slide into it each time. Also, when you push outside of your comfort zone consistently, you can find yourself familiar with spending more time there. The unknown, the fear of making mistakes, whatever it was that held you back, stops feeling as uncomfortable as it once did. You start to appreciate that the reason that space felt uncomfortable was because you were just used to staying comfortable – and what you thought was discomfort was generally more your anticipation of the discomfort of the effort you needed to put in – not the outcome that was on the other side. Which is generally something akin to growth. 

There is no reason why you should leave your comfort zone either. If you are happy where you are then why change. But for those who sense there is something more for them, so fuller experience of life, then this might be of use.

If you want something that you perceive is outside your comfort zone, do it. 

Allow yourself to make mistakes and take it one step at a time!

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[clivecreative]

Learning to Trust Yourself When Life Challenges 

Trust yourself. Even if you can’t find that piece of you right at this moment, it is there. Advocate for it. Show up to what is true and be honest with yourself. There’s nothing to be gained in lying to yourself.

Forgive yourself too if you have got things wrong in the past, especially if you still find it hard to make mistakes. The point about mistakes is that you learn from them. If you keep making the same mistake then that is often life calling you to find the deeper lesson that is there for you. Where and went you can, find gratitude. If that seems hard, look for it in the small things, in the simple things. That can often be the best place to start. The same is true of forgiveness, that you find it in your heart before you can match it in the world. All these things take patience so go easy on yourself. You deserve the best. Once you learn that you have the power to provide that for yourself, anything is possible.

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[clivecreative]

An Intimate Life. A Practical Guide to Relating. FOUR: Yourself.

As well as saying that all relating is relating to life, we can make some provisional distinctions to help refine our focus into specific areas of life – as and where might benefit us. In these articles I have invited you to engage in a more intimate way with the environment you inhabit (The World), other people (Relationships) and today I would like to invite you to relate in a more intimate way with yourself. 

How far will you feel comfortable exploring the limits of your experience will be up to you to work out. For that, there is only one way to find out. 

Have fun.

1. Self Care 

The words self care can conjure thoughts of pampering; long baths, candles, oils, massage, a good book, maybe some high quality chocolate.

Alternatively, the reality might be that self care suggests that someone just not continuing to place themselves in situations where they sustain damage. At the extreme end of the spectrum this might mean an addiction, be it to hard drugs or an abusive relationship. At the other just not getting drunk as often as they do, or just leaving work an hour early and not feeling guilty about it. 

In truth, what counts as self care can exist anywhere between these points. Owning up to where you are at – to the truth – is key to relating intimately in any context. Also, learning what is good for you can take time.

How will you show care to yourself? 

How do you do that currently?

2. Draw Yourself

First, try to draw yourself from memory. Then, after you have tried that, do it using a mirror. Then draw yourself from a photo.

3. Meditate

There are multiple techniques and schools of meditation. In my experience those that talk about ‘Just Sitting’ are the closest to the way I am suggesting here. 

Find a comfortable place to sit. Sit down. Crosslegged if you can. On a chair if not. 

Imagine that from the centre of the top of your head, a golden thread slowly pulls you up, until the point that you feel your back is comfortably straight. (You should feel that your back is comfortably straight rather than stretched) The sensation you should be aiming for is that your back feels suspended rather than stretched.

As far as you can, let your breath begin and end it’s cycle from your belly. Breathing relaxed is more important that breathing deep. Keep it natural and relaxed. Just let it happen. If you wish, as and when it feels comfortable to do so, you can let yourself feel the motion in your body as it expand on the inhale and releases on the exhale. Smoothly. Find where is comfortable. Let your body find its natural rhythm. Above all let yourself be a relaxed observer of this process. 

Count each breath in, an out. Count up to 9 and then start again. Repeat this. 

You may find that your attention drifts, that you realise you have gone over 9. If this happens, just start again, and continue, focusing on your awareness of your breath and the counting.

The more aware that you become of your counting, and of your focus on your breathing, the greater an awareness you will be developing of that part of you called the ‘observer’. This observer is just a quality of your awareness. It is your sense of having senses. Just being in this state of awareness is the foundation for meditation. ‘Just sitting’ is to be present with yourself.  Remember, meditational practice is the practice of meditation. It is about becoming more aware of the quality of consciousness awareness in order that it will spill over into life. As calming and relaxing as the practice of meditation can be, it is not the only result. Its benefit can extend into all areas of life.

4. Walk

Go for a walk. As long or as short as you wish. 

Of course there are many ways of walking so feel free to take your pick. For now please consider these 2 variations. 

Walk without purpose. Have no destination in mind. Just wander. It can pay to know the safe edges of the terrain you are exploring but in general walk somewhere you have never been, without knowing where you will end up. Be aware of how the idea and the action make you feel.

Go for a long walk, go further than you have been for a while. Walk far enough that you feel it in you body the following day. Feel free to accept the invitation to make some sort of pilgrimage.

5. Eat a Meal

Be as fully present as you can with your food and with the act of eating, from the first mouthful to the last. Chew every mouthful fully. Taste every flavour, feel the texture change. Be aware. See what comes up. Is it easy to do this or are you distracted? Do you want to rush your way to the end of the meal and get on with the next thing? Do you want to look at your phone or a screen in between? Where is your attention and why?

6. Something Old

Do something that you used to do a lot but haven’t done for a while.

7. Something New

Do something you have never done before.

8. Touch Yourself

This does not have to be erotic but it can be. 

Firstly it is a simple invitation to become aware of your body. If the idea of touching yourself, of feeling the different textures and sensations that can result concerns you then perhaps there is a question for you to attend to there too.

If relating to your own body is something that you don’t do much of then this can be illuminating, especially if, in an erotic sense, you have become habituated to external stimulation such as erotic images or pornography. 

This touch can extend into a form of self love in a physical or erotic way. It may feel unusual or strange if you have been used to external forms of stimulation.

Exploring your body – being with yourself – erotically or otherwise, can help to reconnect to your senses in a deeper way. It can even help to detach from an over reliance on external symbols that may have served to objectify your sexual instincts. 

9. Your Philosoply 

What is your philosophy of life? Do you have one? Can you write it down? Could you explain it in a single image or would it take a book? Is there any way to summarise it in a single sentence or in an analogy.

10. Make Something

Make something.

11. Explore Your Past

Catalogue your memories. The earliest and the most significant. Put them together in chronological order. Uncover as much as you feel safe and comfortable to do so. Invite your unconscious to bring to mind all images that it might serve you to know in some way. Be aware of anything that might come up in your dreams too.

12. Who are You?

If and when you are ready, ask yourself this question, ‘who am I?’

The answer might not be something you can speak in words. I might be that it can only be felt; experienced.

Part One: Introduction

Part Two: The World

Part Three: Relationship

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