#crazy. they are the same. they are the opposite.
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m4ggotm0ld · 2 days ago
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“Let people ship what they want!” Let queer people have representation
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zepskies · 3 days ago
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Aww here we go!! 😍 👏🏽👏🏽 I've been very excited to see what you'd do with Russell, considering your affinity and talent for writing our favorite law enforcement boys. This was just as twisty and exciting as I thought it would be!
“Extra fluffy for you, Mr. Russell,” Rosa, the maid, would say every morning with the brightest smile.
loll what I'd give to make sure he's got everything nice and fluffy. 😏
(A hot tub in the back, huh? Wayne, stop giving me ideas for ESC one-shots. 🥵🫠)
Providing answers didn’t come easy for the older Shaw, however. In fact, it had always been sort of a problem for him – even in the past. Especially in the past. Russell never lied, but he did omit things. Important things. On purpose.
Ooh yep! You really picked up on aspects of Russell's personality that I felt inherently when I was watching (studying) him, but hadn't consciously put into words. 👌🏽
All they had was them. They were friends. Best friends. Always competitive, but friends nonetheless.
It's also so interesting (and crazy) how little Russ and Colter know about each other now as men. There's got to be shades of who they were when they were younger, but it's bittersweet in a sense. And now they're both trying to suss each other out like lone wolves that are kinda sorta friends. 😂
Of course, there's still that "I thought you killed our dad" for 20+ years -- on Colter's end. 😅
“Yeah, well, let’s just say in an ideal world this, uh, woman would be part of that exit,” Russell said and sounded purposely casual as if he didn’t care the mission was successful or not in the end, omitting yet another thing – he did care. He cared a fucking lot.
Okay, this whole thing with the reader is fascinating. Because why does he have to go through all this trouble to find her if they've been a thing for 10...12...14...20-something years?! (Love how the number in Russell's "memory" just kept getting longer. 🤣🤣) It feels so sketchy all around, and oh so intriguing. Why haven't they seen each other in so long? Were they...
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And if she's still "in the game," how does Russell think he's going to get her out and settle down with him? 😏
I'm full of questions, but I know you have a brilliant master plan for all of this. I've noticed this about the most recent stories you've created, but you're so very good at writing these law enforcement/military men paired with heroines that share their world, almost the "same foxhole" type of deal. Except for that his heroine partners usually outrank him. 😏
I tend to go the opposite route, partly because I'm interested in the dynamic between these kinds of men and a "civilian," but also because I don't think I'd be able to do the "same foxhole" trope justice. So that's something I really admire about you as a writer. 💜
The push and pull banter between Colter and Russ in this chapter was also so fun to read lol. I could literally quote every moment because it was all so well-written and priceless. And it just kept building up the mystery of the reader and why Russell is doing all of this, right up until that awesome cliffhanger!!
This first chapter hooked me right in -- can't wait to dive into chapter 2 next! 🤩🤩
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The Exit Strategy – Part 1
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Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there's one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.
Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader
Warnings: +18, language, mystery, a tinge of angst, humor & brotherly banter, one tiny surprise 🤓
Word Count: 5.8k
A/N: Happy holidays, guys! Enjoy 🎄❤️
Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List
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Part 1: This Is Not a Pipe
The heavy truck door slammed shut behind him as Russell slid into the passenger seat with an exhaustive sigh. Colter’s big pickup was parked right next to his beautiful Chevelle in that same old motel parking lot in Virginia.
Russell hadn’t moved – yet. Well, sort of. He’d been away on assignment in some frosty region for a couple of weeks. He wasn’t allowed to say where exactly he’d been, and he knew better than to put it into writing, so let’s just agree he was at the North Pole looking for Santa Claus.
He could’ve ended up anywhere he wanted once he touched ground in the States again, but a very appreciated phone call from a former colleague made the decision for him. Besides, Russell knew this particular motel well. The coffee was more than decent and got the job done, the owner and employees were nice, comforting, and, most of all, trustworthy, and there were always fresh towels.
“Extra fluffy for you, Mr. Russell,” Rosa, the maid, would say every morning with the brightest smile.
Oh, and they had a hot tub in the back…
“Thanks for coming, man,” Russell extended his greeting without glancing at his younger brother once. He could feel Colter’s scrutinizing eyes on him, though, drilling for answers. Granted, his request had been rather unusual, so Russell understood where his younger brother’s ever-frozen furrowed brow stemmed from.
Providing answers didn’t come easy for the older Shaw, however. In fact, it had always been sort of a problem for him – even in the past. Especially in the past. Russell never lied, but he did omit things. Important things. On purpose.
“Yeah, uh, sure,” Colter replied with a polite smile as he started the car and rolled out of the lot.
Ah, yes, politeness…
That was what they were at, although it was progressively improving. It was only the third time the brothers were seeing each other since they had reconnected. And while the last two encounters had given the Shaws some well-needed time to talk things out and build trust, Colter was still naturally wary of his estranged sibling. As was Russell.
“So, what’s this about? You were pretty vague on the phone. You in trouble?”
That finally caught Russell’s full attention. He quickly shook his head, causing his hair to fall into his face. “What? No! No… No trouble,” he swiftly assuaged his brother with a dismissive hand gesture and a lighthearted chuckle. “Just need your help tracking down an old friend of mine, is all.”
Colter quirked an eyebrow at that. “Another Army buddy of yours?”
“Uh, something like that, yeah,” Russell replied rather mysteriously and didn’t even try to conceal the fact that he was hiding something more behind his ambiguous answer. But Colter only intensified his stare at him and wouldn’t let go that easily. Russell knew that. After all, they were related.
Persistence was a Shaw family trait. Another survival skill, if you will.
But this time, Russell wasn’t hiding a big government secret (or maybe he was). No lives depended on this particular mission (or so he thought). He wasn’t protecting a client, a company, or even his dubious employer (but someone else). He wasn’t choked by an NDA or about to save someone in grave danger (as far as he knew).
No, if anything, it was the fact that Russell didn’t know how much he could or should share with his brother. They were related, yes. But, technically, they hadn’t seen each other in decades, so they weren’t just considered merely estranged but strangers. Russell had always been aware of that fact, and Colter was beginning to catch on.
Especially during this mission.
See, once upon a time, the two hadn’t been just brothers. After moving to the cabin, societal contacts became scarce for the siblings. All they had was them. They were friends. Best friends. Always competitive, but friends nonetheless.
How much did they really know about each other now, though? How much of the old was still there?
“So, who are we looking for? What’s the guy’s name?” Colter asked, suddenly eager as he jumped into gear. He had always been restless, even as a kid, which fondly reminded Russell of their childhood.
But how much was he still the Russell that Colter once knew?
Well, Russell, on the other hand, remained calm and ruffled a casual hand through his beard. “Well, she’s, uh–”
Eyebrow cocked, Colter snapped his head to the passenger seat where his brother started to squirm. “Oh… Oh, so it’s a she,” he emphasized with a small grin. “Now I think I get it.”
There it is. I knew it, Russell thought with an internal sigh. In order for this mission to work, he knew he had to reveal some things. Private things. Things about himself and his life. Going in, Russell knew he couldn’t ask Colter for help without giving him something.
Their father had loved tests (and so did you – but that’s another story…). Russell always thought it had been the professor in him. So, Russell saw this as a test as well.
Could he trust Colter? And more pressingly, considering some long held accusations of murder, did Colter trust him?
A clear of Russell’s throat cut right through Colter’s chuckle. And then, the eldest tried his best to give no reaction at all. “Yes, she’s a… woman, but hold your horses. It’s not what you think, okay?” Colter lifted his eyebrow once more, causing Russell to heave another exhaustive sigh. “Fine, alright? It’s exactly what you think.”
Well, close enough, Russell thought. He knew Colter couldn’t even possibly imagine the reality in his wildest dreams.
Usually, Russell was an expert in avoiding uncomfortable questions. He was a pro at ditching answers and keeping secrets, even under torture and duress. However, there was just something entirely unique about dodging questions posed by little brothers.
And Russell saw it as a perfect bonding opportunity. He wanted to fill the chasm between them that their father’s death had caused – once and for all. But he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t walking around on eggshells most of the time – something that reminded him of you again.
Learning from past mistakes, Russell wanted Colter to experience the fun side of him. The one that brewed his own beer, cared too much about his car, and had weird tastes in food. He chose to leave out the rest – the dark stuff and the very best stuff, too.
After all, Russell was good at omitting things.
Colter chuckled triumphantly. “Does this mean you’re finally giving up on Reenie?”
Amused, Russell let out a snort. “Ha! You wish… First things first, alright? Let’s just see how this thing pans out. It’s kind of a long shot. You know that exit plan I told you about?”
“Yeah, you wanna open your own brewery, right?”
“Yeah, well, let’s just say in an ideal world this, uh, woman would be part of that exit,” Russell said and sounded purposely casual as if he didn’t care the mission was successful or not in the end, omitting yet another thing – he did care.
He cared a fucking lot.
“Really? Okay.” Colter scratched his jaw and gave his words some thought. Then he offered a small, yet kind, smile. Honestly, Russell didn’t know what he had expected. “But, you know, if you want me to find the future Mrs. Shaw, I’m gonna need more information to go on. A name, last address, or a-, uh, a picture, maybe?”
“Well, name’s not gonna help you much in this case.” Your first name might’ve been shareable intel, but your last name was of the highest classification. “Her last address that I know of was in Berlin. And while I do have one photo of her, it’s not meant for your eyes, brother,” Russell said with a firmly territorial look that still carried a mischievous twinkle, revealing the exact nature of the photograph to be indeed inappropriate.
Russell had one naughty photo, yes. But he had a whole giant box of others, too.
Colter’s eyebrows met above his nose as he licked his lips. Customarily, people gave him more details when they needed him to find someone. But then again, those people usually weren’t his brother. “Do you know anything about this woman? How long have you two dated?”
“Uhm… not that long,” Russell supplied with a clear of his throat before mumbling the rest of his answer, hoping his beard would swallow most of his words. “Ten years. Give or take…”
What is time anyway if nothing but a concept, right?
Colter blinked at him and almost steered the vehicle off-road before gripping the wheel a little tighter. “I’m sorry… Did you just say ten years?”
“Well, might be more like twelve,” he admitted finally. “Well, anyways, saw her last three years ago.”
“Wow, okay, uhm…” Colter became quiet for a moment, speechless probably, the tiny bits of information running on a loop through his mind. He figured his brother still had lived a life while they hadn’t been speaking. Of course he had. He just never thought about what that life might have entailed, aside from classified military operations. “So, you’ve dated a woman for twelve years…”
“Fourteen.”
“…haven’t seen her in three, and know basically nothing about her?”
Russell snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Ridiculous… Not even sure the name she did give me was her real one,” he said. It was a joke. He did know the name. He knew everything there was to know about you. So, maybe he did lie – sometimes. “But it’s the job, you know? It’s-, uh, it’s complicated.”
That part was true. Truer than he could ever possibly describe in words.
“I guess so…” Colter sighed, and Russell could hear the growing frustration. “So, she does what you do?”
Russell nodded. “In a way, yeah…” And Colter knew what that answer meant – he couldn’t say more. Again. “But don’t worry. We won’t have to turn over every stone on the face of this planet. I have a general idea of where she lives these days,” Russell provided. “One of my, uh, associates was working a job with her not that long ago. That’s how I found out she’s back in the States.”
Colter nodded in acceptance, knowing it was no use to try and prod more answers out of his brother. “Alright. Guess that’s something. So, where are we headed to?”
Russell then flashed him a grin with newfound determination sparkling in his green eyes. “Falls Church.”
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The short drive had remained quiet for the most part. Colter refrained from asking more questions, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get straight answers out of his older brother in one form or the other. To accentuate Colter’s assumption of receiving non-answers, Russell mostly stared out the window with an intensity that had Colter believe his brother was counting trees when, in fact, Russell was pondering what he would, could, or should tell Colter.
Of course, Colter could also always ask more questions about their elusive father, but he didn’t do that either. Sure, one could say he was curious. More than that even.
What did Russell really know about his death? Their mother? Their family? Their work?
Another time, he kept telling himself throughout whenever he stole glances at his long-lost sibling. It was too soon. What was the point when Russell was so clearly reluctant to share anything at all?
Thus, there was nothing left but silence among peaceful woods and dense foliage till Colter pulled his truck over curbside in the idyllic town center of Falls Church.
Patiently, he waited a moment for Russell to open the floor and tell them their next logical steps. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, blew raspberries, clicked his tongue, and waited and waited and waited…
Nothing.
If Colter didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought someone carved a lifeless wax statue out of his brother and planted it on his passenger seat. Russell’s entire body stood motionless, only a set of green eyes flickered alive every once in a while and swayed out the windshield in search of something – or someone.
“So, what’s the plan here?” Colter asked with a clear of his throat. “You just wanna stay here and wait till she accidentally runs across the street?” It was meant as a joke, but to Colter’s dismay, Russell remained dead serious.
“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” the older Shaw confirmed and squinted his eyes at the busy street. Again, he had omitted a few things. In his mind, Colter didn’t need to know why Russell knew to be in front of the post office at exactly 15:03 (UTC–4) on a Tuesday.
Colter snorted a laugh. “What? C’mon, that can’t be the plan… Do you know how many people live in Falls Church? Or in the general Washington metropolitan area? We could be here for days. Weeks even…” The younger Shaw then switched fully into work mode, grabbing his phone from the Bluetooth car mount. “We’re never gonna find her like this. You got a phone number, maybe?” But before Russell could answer, Colter replied himself, shaking his head at his own silliness. “What am I even asking? Of course you don’t.”
Russell only smirked at that. Restless, he thought again.
“What about an old one? Maybe even that would help. I could call Bobby, Reenie… You got anything? Nothing?” But the younger Shaw’s questions apparently stumbled upon deaf ears. “Russell? Russ? Are you even listening to me? I’m trying to help you here. You could at least–”
“Found her!”
Russell almost jumped out of the car as his voice rang with sheer excitement. His heart was beating a mile a minute when his emerald eyes landed on the target. It felt like the very first time all over again.
Granted, the first meeting didn’t go so smoothly – there had definitely been some bumps (all on his part). Then again, he expected this next meeting to go a little roughly too (again, all on him).
“Wait, what?!”
Russell downright beamed. “Told you this would work.”
Colter only scoffed under his breath, the familiar competitiveness crawling back to the surface. “Yeah, well, beginner’s luck, okay?”
One boot had nearly touched asphalt before Russell remembered this wasn’t a situation that required him to storm in guns a-blazing – not even covert. Gentle hands, he reminded himself and swiftly closed the car door again, falling back into his seat. His lungs deflated.
Colter, on the other hand, was more confused than ever. “What-, uh, what are you doing?” Half-amused, his brow furrowed a bit more. “If you’ve found her, go talk to her. Where is she? Who is it?”
Curiosity could only be contained for so long. Colter wanted to know who had been a part of his brother’s life for almost as long as he had. He felt this was a key piece of information that would cause the first domino to fall. And then, revelation after revelation about Russell’s past would unravel.
Basically, Colter was waiting for the big epiphany. No pressure.
Russell vehemently shook his head. “Can’t. At least not like this. I need more intel first. You need to find out her name, and then we need your guy Bobby to get onto this.”
And yet again, guess what? Yes, Russell was, indeed, omitting things.
“Me? Why me?” Colter blinked at him. Surprise, surprise…
“‘Cause, obviously, she’d recognize me,” Russell pointed out. Again, omission. Like he had explained earlier, it was a real problem…
Colter exhaled a deep sigh. “Okay, and I’m guessing you’re still not gonna tell me why we’re doing all of this, right?”
“Nope.”
“Yup, thought so.” Still not convinced, Colter narrowed his eyes at his clearly paranoid brother. Maybe paranoia ran in the family. Not to point fingers – he recognized it in himself, too. “Do we really need to go through all that trouble? I mean, you’ve known that woman for, what, fourteen years, you said? Isn’t that a little extreme… even for you?”
Fifteen, Russell corrected in his mind. Close to sixteen. Nineteen max.
“Just trust me, okay? It’s necessary,” Russell reassured, knowing those words bore some weight. Hurriedly (he was getting antsy – this was a time-sensitive issue), he pointed a finger out the window to the sidewalk across the street. “You see that woman walking into the post office? That’s her.”
“What, the brunette in the flowery dress with the golden cross necklace? That’s her?”
“Yup.”
“Wow, okay…” Surprised didn’t come close to explain how Colter felt. He had expected… different. His brow almost met his hairline, but he still tried his best to conceal his wonder – to no avail.
Suspiciously, Russell leaned back in his seat and assessed his brother’s demeanor with a small glare. “What?”
“Nothing.” Colter threw his hands up in surrender, swallowing. “Just… She doesn’t really seem like your type.”
Amused, Russell stifled a chuckle. “And what exactly do you think is my type, little brother?”
“I don’t know…”
“What, you think some nice Christian girl is too good for me?” Russell deadpanned. Admittedly, he enjoyed bantering with his little brother. It reminded him of what he had missed out on for years. This was what he had wanted and longed for since he had left the family at eighteen.
Well, “left” wasn’t really the right word for it now, was it? It implied a voluntary act, and his leaving wasn’t so voluntary.
“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Colter countered, laughing. “It’s just, you know… dental hygienist in a motel hot tub springs to mind.”
“Okay, alright… You done?” Russell huffed, shaking his head. He refrained from showing his honest amusement. “You’re gonna follow her in or not?”
“Alright, I’ll go,” Colter finally agreed somewhat enthusiastically and jumped out of the car, swiftly following the woman inside. After all, he was curiouser and curiouser…
Russell kept his eyes trained on his younger brother until Colter vanished inside the post office. Now, it was out of his hands, only hoping his little brother wouldn’t blow it. Chances were high he would. Not that Russell didn’t have some faith.
He just had more faith in you.
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Colter spotted you picking up mail from a PO box and decided on a plan of action in a matter of seconds. After all, he was quick thinking on his feet and the best at what he did. That’s why he was here. That’s why Russell had picked him for the job, right?
As you made your way back to the door, Colter eloquently intercepted you without disturbing the crowd. Another thing he had learned from his father.
He bumped straight into your shoulder and almost tackled you to the ground by the sheer force of his sneak attack. The mail in your hands scattered to the tiled floor like autumn leaves, and as Colter bent down to help you pick it up, he took a peek at your name on a postcard.
“Oh my God, would you look at that… I’m so sorry, Miss–,” the younger Shaw apologized clumsily, “Nora Laurier.” He uttered your name with a suave smile as he handed you back your pile of letters. The flirt in his eyes, however, he only added for Russell as revenge for Reenie. “Beautiful name.”
Your hands lingered on the letters between you for a moment as you took in his features and tall stature. It left you with a strange haunting of familiarity.
“Thank you,” you finally said with a hint of a smile as he let go of the mail. “Be more careful next time.”
“I will. Sorry again.” Colter chuckled with blushed cheeks and watched you leave. He waited till you had passed the row of windows before exiting himself.
He was a good actor, too.
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Antsy, Russell almost bit his lip bloody as he stared the post office down till a migraine began to form. God, what he wouldn’t pay for some X-ray vision and super-hearing. He could be downright Superman with that – and the hero always got the girl.
His heart dithered anew with longing as you walked out – it took his breath away. You always did that, and you did it well. But then, you stopped short for a mere second, which wouldn’t have caused a civilian to raise a single brow. But Russell did.
“Shit…” he mumbled in the silence of the truck and lowered himself down to the dashboard. He watched you reach for your phone in your purse and call someone as you headed down the street.
Eventually, you stopped three houses east and finished your call in the shade of a tree next to a busy (and noisy) bus station. Russell caught your eyes drifting back to the doors of the post office, though, just as his little brother walked out and jogged towards the car.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Russell ducked even further down, hitting his head in several places. “What did that knucklehead do?”
The driver’s door opened as Colter casually slipped inside. “Got a name,” he announced victoriously. Part of his happiness emanated from gathering yet another puzzle piece of his mysterious brother – meeting you. “She goes by Nora Laurier now… And she seems nice. Way too nice for you, actually…” As he drifted off, his eyes searched for the elder one before finding him almost kissing the floor mat. “Russ, uh… What-, uh, what are you doing down there?”
“What the hell did you do?” Russell’s tone was both snappy and frustrated.
“Whoa, what d’you mean what did I do?” Colter waved off defensively. “I did what you told me to do!”
“She made you!”
“She did not make me,” Colter brushed off with a laugh, quite confident of his own skill set. They’d had the same teacher. He would know if you had suspected anything.
“Then why did she wait and look after you, huh?” Russell pointed out in annoyance.
Colter’s lips itched to break a smile. He couldn’t help it. It was the perfect opportunity to teach his flirt of a brother a well-needed lesson. “Well, maybe I caught her eye… piqued her interest, you know?”
Russell cocked a brow from below, his stare lethal. “Did you flirt with her?”
Colter hesitated for a moment. Mostly for dramatic effect. “I-, uh… You told me to get her name. ‘Sides, I told you Reenie was off limits.”
“Oh, so this is about revenge? Very mature.” Russell frowned. “She still there?”
“Where?” Colter stretched himself a bit as he looked out the windshield.
“Tree. Bus station.”
An amused smile formed on Colter’s lips as he spotted you. “Oh, yeah. I see her. I don’t think she suspects anything. She’s not even loo-… No, uh, wait… Yup.”
“What?” Russell’s brows drew together as he rose a little from his crouched position.
“Yeah, she’s definitely looking over here.”
“Well, stop looking down,” Russell hissed through gritted teeth. After a deep breath, he spoke in a calmer, more advising tone, “Pretend I’m not here.”
“Trying to, trust me… Should I wave at her? Smile?”
“Are you nuts?! Just look ahead. Pretend you’re getting a phone call.”
Colter did as he was told and held his phone to his ear. “She’s still looking,” he informed with a pressed smile, barely moving his mouth when he spoke.
“Okay, what’s she doing now?”
“There’s a-, uh, there’s a car coming and pulling over by the bus station. Dark gray Audi A6. Virginia Plates. Yankee-Papa-Charlie-5824,” Colter said as Russell hauled a pen from his pocket and began to jot down the plate numbers on his left palm.
“Copy that.”
He’d memorize them anyway, but one could never be too safe. He could get a concussion in the next hour or so (most likely because of you), and then what?
“Okay, she’s getting in,” Colter narrated. “Driver’s in his late-thirties. Male. Glasses. Medium height. Medium build… I think you could take him,” he added with a teasing grin.
“Shut up,” Russell retorted. “Are they gone now?”
“Pulling away from the curb and… Yep, they’re gone. Headed south down the road,” Colter affirmed.
“Alright.” Russell popped back into his seat with a sigh and some sore muscles. He had been sure he’d heard a few bones crack while he’d been cowering down there. He might be finally getting too old for these missions. But that was part of the reason why he was here in the first place – retirement was calling. And Russell wanted to fill the chair next to him on the porch.
“You good?” Colter checked and choked the small laugh that wanted to escape upon the ruffled sight of his older brother.
“Yeah, go ahead and follow them. Just keep a low profile,” Russell instructed. “On our way, you might wanna call your op analyst, too. See what he can find out.”
“Alright,” Colter agreed somewhat reluctantly but still tailed the sedan. “You sure this is a good idea?”
“What d’you mean?” Russell said mindlessly, keeping his eyes focused on the target vehicle.
“Us… stalking your ex-girlfriend?” Colter noted with a cocked brow. “And her potentially new boyfriend?”
Russell only laughed at that. “We’re good. Trust me.”
Admittedly, though, a small part of him wondered (and worried) if this was all real. Maybe Nora Laurier wasn’t your real name, but it might be your actual new one – one you’d adopted as a safety precaution after you’d left it all behind. Maybe you had finally done it and retired, found a perfectly normal guy, and settled down – just without him.
Or:
Maybe you were still in the game, after all.
Russell was hoping it was the latter. Otherwise, he could probably expect a hefty restraining order in his future, but he wasn’t about to tell Colter that. Not until he knew for sure.
The Audi parked in front of an organic grocery store a few blocks down. Colter chose a spot across the parking lot, keeping a reasonable distance with the perfect view. Russell watched as you and Unnamed Man #1 sauntered into the store, an arm slung tightly around your waist and a smile on your face.
While on the phone with Bobby, Colter could tell that the sight of you in another man’s arms stung. “Okay, uh, thanks, Bobby.”
“What’d he say?” Russell fired as soon as Colter had removed the phone even just an inch from his ear.
“Uh, well, there’s some bad news,” Colter revealed hesitantly and licked his lips, not knowing how he was supposed to break his brother’s heart. “Bobby ran the plate number through the DMV. It’s registered to an Aiden Laurier.”
“Laurier?” Undeniably, Russell’s heart flinched at the connection. “Maybe a brother. Cousin…”
Or a colleague, Russell’s mind stubbornly added.
Colter bit his lower lip hard before he spoke, “They’ve been married for two years. I’m sorry, Russ.”
A hand comfortingly patted Russell’s shoulder. A part of him wanted to scream heavenward, but something else inside was gnawing on him.
He clicked his tongue. “No… No.” Sure, one could argue that denial was always the first step of grief. “No. No way she married sweater-vest John Mulaney over there.”
“I’m pretty sure she did. Bobby sent me the marriage certificate,” Colter countered and showed him the screenshot on his phone.
Russell glanced at it for a short second, not even bothering to waste more time on fake news. He shook his head. He knew better.
“Nah. I’m not buying it. You need to go in there and tell me what you see.” He sealed his words with an encouraging pat on the shoulder.
Colter exhaled deeply. “Russ, I-, uh, I think you need to let this go, man. You’re starting to… Never mind.”
“No. Go ahead. Say it,” Russell prompted with some thunder in his voice. “I’m reminding you of Dad, don’t I?”
Colter only twitched his shoulders. “I mean, yeah. A little.”
Russell’s head bobbed in thought before he met his little brother’s eyes. “You really don’t see it?”
“See what?”
“The post office, the road crew over there, the-, the fake documents?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“C’mon… Just think about everything Dad taught us, huh?”
Was Colter really not getting it? Russell found that quite hard to believe. He had known his little brother to be as sharp as a whip. While Russell didn’t always have the nicest things to say about their father, he could admit the old man had prepared them well for life. Well, one life at least. This one.
The nomad life, the odd jobs that required them to have a particular set of skills like Liam Neeson.
Colter shook his head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, Russell.”
Russell let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat. “Alright, if you don’t see it, you don’t see it.” A smirk twitched in the corners of his lips. “It’s your funeral, brother…”
With narrowed eyes, Colter pursed his lips. “Alright, just tell me one thing, okay?”
“You know I can’t tell you anything,” Russell reiterated and brushed his beard.
“I know. I know… It’s not that kinda question,” the younger Shaw reassured.
“Go ahead,” Russell relented and curiously looked at his brother.
Within a second, Russell could think of a million questions Colter might want to ask him, but this hadn’t been one of them:
“In the past three years, how many times have you thought about her? And I don’t just mean ‘crossed your mind’ every couple of months. I mean ‘seriously thought’ about her?”
“Hmm.” Russell pondered for a moment before replying, “Every damn day.”
It wasn’t a lie, no omission of anything, and Colter could tell. You were the first thought that popped into Russell’s still groggy mind when he woke up and the last one every night that fluttered across his weary eyelids. Obviously, he didn’t give Colter the soppy answer, though.
“Fine. I’ll go,” Colter softened his stance. “You owe me,” he added with a pointed finger before setting foot outside the car.
“I do owe you. Anything you want, brother,” Russell agreed with a broad grin. “How about we start with a full case of my homebrew, huh?”
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Colter danced gracefully through the aisles, spying through canned goods and boxes of cereal. He watched you carefully select fruit with your husband, move through the dairy talking about “organic” and “locally sourced” till you landed on a few choices of toothpaste and finally strolled to the cash register.
Everything seemed boringly normal and ordinary. You chatted with the cashier. They handed you a coupon, which you slipped into your purse. Your husband paid with his credit card (which carried the same name matching the DMV records), and both of you left the store with two paper bags in your arms.
Once through the sliding glass doors, you stopped and turned to your husband. “Darn, honey, I think we forgot the milk.”
“You want me to grab it?”
“No, I’ll do it.”
“Okay, I’ll wait by the car and load the rest of the groceries.”
Now, Colter found that odd. He had watched you spent at least five minutes in the dairy aisle. How could you forget something as basic as milk?
As you hushed inside, your husband sauntered back to the car, and Colter followed you back in. You passed right by the dairy and, with a few looks that resembled a scan of your surroundings, you slipped past the door that led to the restrooms.
Waiting a beat, Colter went in after you. But you were long gone – just not to the restroom. An ‘Employee Only’ door that led to a dumpster alley outside was just falling shut.
Granted, Colter had a bad feeling about this. It was the same feeling he always got shortly before walking into a trap. In his defense, though, you were not a seven-foot-tall, 300-pound kind of guy. He wasn’t about to be ambushed by Shaquille O’Neal, which is probably why Colter didn’t find it necessary to pull his gun.
In hindsight, he should have.
The narrow alley was quiet and empty, except for some trash littering the ground around the dumpsters. It was closed-off, too, wedged between buildings with no view to the parking lot or nearby streets.
And then, something hit him. Or better yet: You hit him. With an elbow to the face and a stiff, flat palm to his throat, Colter stumbled forward before you gave him the final blow and knocked him off balance, tackling him to the ground.
Pressing his cheek into the rough and unforgiving surface of the asphalt, you jumped on him and restrained his arms tightly behind his back. While he squirmed to get out of your hold, he didn’t use as much brutal force as you expected he would.
“Shit,” he muttered below you, his voice muffled by the gravel. A light chuckle escaped him. “Okay, you got me.”
“Sounds about right,” you agreed with a smirk and tightened your grip on his arm.
Then, Colter heard a gun click above him. Hoping to see his brother, he looked up – only to find your husband with a weapon in hand as he stared down the barrel.
“Ah, I think you broke my nose,” the younger Shaw mumbled with a groan.
“Good. You’ve been following me. Why?” you prompted sternly. “Who are you? Who are you working for? Jafari? Mueller?”
“Listen, I-I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not who you think I am,” Colter argued with a strained voice. What the hell had Russell gotten him into? “This is just a big misunderstanding.”
“Uh-huh.” You could only roll your eyes at that. How many times had you heard that line before?
“Let’s hood him. Get him to the Market,” your partner suggested. “We’ll see if he talks then.”
“No, really,” Colter insisted, growing a bit more uneasy. He had no idea what the Market was, but it didn’t sound pleasant. “You know my brother.”
“Who’s your brother?” With your elbow, you put more pressure on his back.
“Ow, alright…” Colter groaned once more as the pain intensified. “Looks kinda like me. Think two decades younger. He was in the Army, so probably didn’t have long hair and a beard. Uh, kind… green eyes? No? Doesn’t ring a bell?”
Colter watched your brow furrow in his periphery as he squinted upwards. He could see the gears starting to turn in your head. You just needed one final push to put all the puzzle pieces together.
“If it helps, my name is Colter. Colter Sh–”
“Shaw,” you shot like a missile. Your jaw plummeted to the ground, your heart springing right out with it. Your grip on the man caught between your thighs loosened, hearing Colter’s sigh of relief before you heard his voice.
“Hiya, sweetheart.”
Your head darted up, the man beneath you long forgotten. You swallowed as your eyes landed on an all too familiar face – even when it was covered by a bunch of hair that had never been there before. The heart-crushing smile was still the same as if it had been ripped straight from an old photograph you had of him.
“Russell?!”
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Part 2: This Is a Russell Mission
Quite the entrance! Writing Russell reminded me somewhat of Plastic Hearts Dean (minus the addiction problems unless you count lying) because of all the wild overthinking 😂
If you enjoyed this story, then I'll gladly keep working on its prequel. Was a bit nervous to post this since I filled in some family history gaps myself 😅 I also dove into the books a little and added some things that kinda fit their "show" personalities.
Please let me know what you think and if you'd be interested in a young soldier!Russell series 😉🤍
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chronotopes · 2 years ago
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Last sentence of the fancifully self-inserty novel about a lesbian breakup that i wrote at 15: “They walked onto the ship hand-in-hand, and some part of Quartz knew that this was where her life began.”
Last sentence of the fancifully self-inserty novel about a lesbian breakup that i wrote at 21: “And in the bedroom of the Optimizer’s old apartment, you try to breathe for just a few minutes more before standing up to face the cruelly short, cruelly interminable expanse of the rest of your life.”
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bogdreamz · 1 year ago
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old tervo sketches i never posted sorry i was like feverishly pacing around all day
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walnutcookie · 2 months ago
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guys you dont understand. glisten and rodgers relarionship makes me crazzyyyyy
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skepticalcatfrog · 6 months ago
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Today on things I may need to write an essay on someday: the constant use of metaphor representing Roma and Benedikt as two sides of the same coin. I've realized how often they're written as opposites while also being very much the same and now. it won't leave my head.
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madegeeky · 1 month ago
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Soooo... remember my fashion game Love Nikki? Yeah, they just came out with a new Nikki game and it is an open world game and it is so much fun.
I normally don't care about photo mode but I'm having so much fun, y'all.
Anyway, InfiniNikki (or better known by the inferior real name of Infinity Nikki). I really recommend giving it a try if it sounds intriguing. It's free to play (you pay money to get extra outfits but, honesty, they give a lot of outfits away for free) and so it's not going to turn to try out. (And, no, this isn't a shill, literally the only thing I might get from you playing the game is being my friend in the game which doesn't even do anything, at least at the moment and maybe never. But also if you play please message me so I can be your friend in the game.)
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some-pers0n · 7 months ago
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Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist
#Anyways I'mma put the actual inane ramblings in the tags#Medic and Engie make me so ill every time I think about them for a while I feel like tearing into things and biting people and throwing up#How something like that can exist completely defies me#I don't know how something that perfect can exist#I'm typically a multi-shipper and while I still kinda am I honest to god don't really care to write other ships#Not cause they ain't good (they are pretty damn good) but because Engiemedic is just on another level#Like dammnnn!! that's why I've spent so long writing a fic about them!#I can't fathom it honestly how characters like that can exist#They're like a slightly warped reflection of themselves#They're both intelligent mentally ill lunatics with no morals whatsoever#The only thing is that Engie is marginally better at hiding it#If you go into headcanon territory than WHOO!! OHH DAMNNN#Like what gets me the most about Engiemedic is how they're so similar#They think and exist on the same wavelength#In tune with each other. Their neurons braided like wires#If I start talking about how the machine and the flesh are not opposites but rather one in the same we gonna be here all day#I just can't...believe the ship exists#Like man how does this happen#You want humour? Goofy wacky experiments and silliness of them violating several conventions#You want angst? Hell yeah they've got plenty of it#Fluff? Buddy I start wailing and sobbing if they accidentally brush hands while working on stuff#I could write about them for ages and not get bored they can fit in every circumstance#They make me SICK they make me CRAZY I love them so so much#They would do anything for each other#I look at what they have and I can feel like I understand what love is#I need to write more oneshots and minifics about them they're so flexiable and fun#Can't wait to do parallels with them in these upcoming chapters#Either way GODDDDD I love these two so much I could go on for hours about them#especially if I'm allowed to talk about headcanons#sp-rambles
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casperth3ghost · 3 months ago
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"adhd x autism!!" NO, i want autistic girlfriend x autistic boyfriend RIGHT NOW
i want a french autistic man x his canadian autistic girlfriend and they fell in love because they both had on garfield shirts when they first met
but the boy loves garfield to draw in the funkiest fun colorful outfits ever and the girl loves garfield because of the comics from idk when garfield was made HELP
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dykesynthezoid · 2 months ago
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Also it is craaaaazyyyyy the way misogyny is used to protect and discount nuns abusing children. It is so horrid. The arguments I’ve seen are basically: a. nuns are sexually frustrated and b. don’t have children of their own and therefore can’t conceive of how to properly treat children. Like we’re talking about a situation where these women are given a crumb of authority and are using it to abuse the most vulnerable members of society in their care, and that’s being intentionally obscured with this narrative where they’re somehow powerless over the harm they do to others because they’re just such hysterical sexually frustrated bitches and obviously the fact they haven’t had sex with men or had children means they’re fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled, so it’s not their fault they’re being evil. That’s just how women are, right! Absolutely vile
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spiralheaven · 5 months ago
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I'LL LAMENT MY DESCENT, BUT I'LL NEVER REPENT
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megumi-fm · 6 months ago
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tesseractingrey · 8 months ago
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one of the things that gets me about twitter phannies is like. if a historian sees that two women lived together and wrote loving letters to each other and calls them “just friends,” we’re all like wow that’s kinda homophobic. but when dan and phil live and work together for over a decade, looking at each other like That and saying sentimental and complimentary shit to each other publicly, calling them “just friends” is actually woke and respectful of their boundaries! surely their earlier insistences of stating they were not in a relationship were not shaped by the time period they were in, and the fact that they aren’t saying that now that the internet is more accepting and their community has grown up are facts that are not related in any way. unlike them, the lesbians of history were publicly and explicitly stating that they were in gay love—oh wait…
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skinnypaleangryperson · 9 months ago
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I'm both the most thoughtful and compassionate person that I know-and I'm not exaggerating, and have an entire list of things that I do every day to prove it- and at the same time I'm only attracted to abrasive, extremely terrible people that are very blunt about their truth.
It is the most conflicting exhausting extensive combination of personality and it makes no sense to me whatsoever.
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hollow-vok · 2 months ago
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Ohh im obssesed
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#uprooted#uprooted naomi novik#solya#marek#my main playlists dedicated to them :]#idk why they cought my attention in 2018 and since that year they have had a special place in my heart. sometimes throughout my day-#i realise im obssesed with them and they're not just some random characters i like. ive dedicated a lot of time on them#i wonder how my interest in them will be when i get older. i certainly know that i will miss them if i stop thinking about them#you could say they have seen me grow. i knew them BEFORE quarantine. they were with me DURING. and AFTER#they have been through so many phases of my life. its so strange.#they changed so much too...except Marek. he still looks the same I imagined him in 2018. solya is definitely different tho#but i do think i have a different more in depth understanding of both characters#even if the words i read in 2018 are still the same now that i look back at the book. they were so many things unsaid but if u looked-#closely you could understand them. solya and marek as individual characters have so much depth...even if its not explicitly said#or maybe its just me reading between the lines too much. i wish i just knew more about them. this is getting so long-#but I got a bit nostalgic. is crazy how i was just a child and somehow even tho solya was just the total opposite of the type of characters-#i like there was something in him. something that made me look at him. and i think thats actually so in character of him#i think that in the book even if someone didnt like him. it was still hard to look away because he stood out from the rest.#there was definitely something about him that attracted people. or else how would have he gotten so far in his schemes?#I may be overanalyzing it. but i love the Falcon so much. and i do like marek a lot as a character. i find him very interesting. i know he-#did bad. terrible. things i like him as a character. not as a person.#i wish i could have seen what was going on in that damaged mind of his...#analyzing his behavior its so entertaining to me. i love making up scenarios where he is at his worst. im not gonna lie#marek suffering and then finding comfort in not comforting things is one of my favorite headcanons.#his obssesion with his mother is also a very important part of his character (ofc) and i love imagine him doing things related to that#thinking about the ways their personalities connect and make them have a very toxic bond keeps me up at night..they made each other worst#and we actually never see that in depth in the book. everything is so subtle but my crazy brain can find the signs in any part#i will stop this rant here. i feel its so long and if i made any spelling mistake i apologise to my future self (probably my self from-#tomorrow) because i know i won't be able to fix the misspelling and that will stress me SO MUCH.#future self please dont stress about it. just be happy. and enjoy thinking about these insane characters
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kizashige · 2 years ago
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tbh I think arguing whether morishige is a necro or a gore fetishist or not is a mute point because the eroticism of his character is one of the most interesting things about him. it just feels like trying to downplay the weight of his character when sexuality as a theme has always been present in the horror genre; both as subtext paralleling real life ostracization, but also outright depicting violent, abnormal fetishism. and morishige is a prime example of both.
he is a depiction of having internal conflict over an erotic desire, and a large part of it coming from seeking control over others. literally, he takes sadistic pleasure in the gore he sees throughout heavenly host. it can also be read as an outlet to express his resentment of how he was treated in the real world and the corpses he comes across is a replacement for the people he was neglected by; there is absolutely a societal component to it that still does not negate the eroticism of it.
a lot of the argument is also whether he was messed up or not outside of heavenly host, and I also think that misses the point. heavenly host is both a literal dimension that in the narrative the characters are sent to, but it is also a physical representation of emotional baggage and trauma that is shown through the environment and the darkening. and other characters who undergo the darkening have their desires manifest in similar ways (e,g. ayumi killing naomi in her fit of jealously is obviously related to her crush on satoshi, but it also speaks to deep-seated feelings of inferiority that she struggles with in a lot of aspects of her life, such as her aspirations and her family. that's why she is also so stubborn of a character. she just wants to prove something of herself.)
so I just don't care about whether morishige is X or Y or not. that want to have control over his life both in and outside of heavenly host and acting out as a response for it is integral to his issues with his social image, his family, and himself, and that it delves into that level of perversion only makes him even more of a very unique, layered character
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