#crackpot and tinfoil

[nulnoildrinker]

On the question of who the descendants of Dunk are, the answers seem pretty clear cut.

Brienne is his spiritual successor. She is abnormally tall, a defender of the downtrodden, and a true knight, despite the role society tries to force upon her. Also Evenfall Hall had Dunk's shield lying around in a very "grandpa's old stuff"-type of way.

Hodor, a giant of a man, whose grandmother could have been in the perfect time and place to have been ✨️dunked✨️.

And last of all the Lannister siblings. Because Dunk was at his most Fabio-esque when around Tywin's grandmother, Rohanne Webber.

I'm not saying that Tywin necessarily descends from a bastard line of house Lannister, but what I am saying that Tywin shared Grandma Rohanne with his cousin/wife, Joanna. As such, the chances that our favorite trio of siblings descend from our favorite Lunk is twice as big.

But why, you might ask?

Because "The Giant of Lannister", the nickname given to Tyrion by Shae is an obvious clue left to us by GRRM himself. It is known.

Because banging his sister was deemed "sinful", Jaime would have to look for a more distant relative. In his defence, thie case of incest between him and Brienne would be less severe than the one between his parents.

Because much like Dunk, Cersei's head always was thick as a castle wall; but as the books have progressed, the rest of her has followed suit. 😳

[blood-orange-juice]

Crackpot hc: Childe knows what Paimon is

[arlathen]

ive only had drayden for twenty minutes but if anything happens to them I'll kill everyone in thedas and then myself.

[ineffable-suffering]

It‘s only been a little over two months that I returned to good ol‘ Tumblr because I knew it would be just the place for all my fandom crackpottery – so thank you to everyone who‘s been so lovely and kind with the responses to my lunatic tinfoil-hat Good Omens theories and metas! ❤️

[melbatron5000]

LOL it's true though

how ridiculous we are walking around saying shit like "supreme archangel" "the metatron" "bildad the shuhite" "memory tampering" "demon army" and "nazi zombies" like we're discussing the weather

but then we have to out bonkers ourselves with

"well, because they used this particular filter, when crowley's sideburns were at this particular length, and based on the fact that the sidewalks are dry, and you can hear something breaking in the background, and that person in the hawaiian shirt has been standing there a little too long, but what is "too long" anyway when the hour hand and the minute hand on the georgian era long case moonphase clock are switched?, never even MIND that aziraphale only had the bullet in his mouth when he took the bullet out of his mouth, combined with the fact that there are runes in heaven, when examined within the context of a song and a film from the 1940s... it is clear that...something very odd is going on."

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I've just watched the most recent Rank Heresy video. Overall, I liked it. Admittedly, it did feel like I was listening to a couple of tinfoil hat wearing crackpots ranting and raving on the street, but I get the feeling that is the general vibe you're both going for.

@rankheresy

Anon.

The icon is someone wearing a tinfoil hat.

I'm glad you liked it but if that's not your thing it's probably not your show.

[genericpuff]

Rachel "Retcon" Smythe Strikes Again!

Okay, so I've been seeing pictures of Volume 4 of Lore Olympus floating around, and people are ALREADY FINDING RETCONS.

Most notably so far, some added panels in the Hades and Apollo confrontation that happens outside Artemis' house (when Persephone steals Apollo's lyre) in Episode 81.

This is the original scene, for anyone who needs a refresher:

Aaaand here are the panels that were added.

(all pictures of Volume 4 are courtesy @iwannagutyou on IG!!! thank you for giving me permission to use these! <3)

First of all, the art. It's so noticeably bad. You can tell Rachel has completely lost her ability to draw these characters in the S1 style, I'm fairly certain she took the panel of Hades from the old version and just copy pasted it to try and get around it (look at the posing) but it's incredibly obvious looking at that third panel that LO is not and can never be what it was back in 2017-2019. Those first two panels seem like they were copy pasted from the previous ones, which is just sad if those are the lengths she has to go to to come even close to replicating the older style.

Now, this just might be due to camera translation, it could very well look better IRL, but the colors just look so incredibly desaturated and the lines blurred out, to the point that people are doing double takes over whether or not panels have been directly changed - they haven't been, they've just been so sucked dry of their colors that they look off enough to cast suspicion.

If anything it's a harsh reminder that LO has kinda always had art problems, especially with its lazy humor and stupid meme faces.

Of course, to be fair, color loss can happen in print, but seeing how slapped together these books tend to be, I wouldn't be surprised if they just didn't put in the effort to convert the page art to CMYK or at least tinker with the saturation in editing some more to ensure it would come out more vibrant in print.

Now. Excuse me while I go on a bit of a crackpot rant here. Newbie puff pals beware, because this is gonna get dicey and you're about to learn where my tinfoil-hat rep comes from but I just have to talk about it.

Back to the added Apollo panels, where Persephone asks Hades not to hurt him and he looks nervous before she says "I just want him to leave".

Maybe it's just me, but it's a little weird that THESE are the panels they decided they needed to add. It's weird that she's asking Hades not to hurt Apollo when she's about to break into his car and steal his lyre just a few moments later. It's weird that the implication seems to be that she's referring to Hades' act of violence towards Tori... but Persephone doesn't know that's happened yet. So this feels like an unnecessary retcon that's doing more harm than good.

But I feel like the timing of this is kinda messed up as well, as this book released just days after the release of the last FP episode in which Apollo has his 'side' of the assault story told through his perspective, which is often considered a HUGE no-no in writing assault stories because it often comes with the implication that it's asking for empathy from the audience. We already know Apollo is delusional, we already know he thinks him and Persephone are meant to be despite her constant rejection of him, we didn't need a flashback from his own warped perspective explaining that very thing, the only purpose to do such a thing this late in the game would be to try and get the audience to 'connect' with him (it's giving S3 Bryce from 13 Reasons Why vibes). Now we have this scene of Persephone asking Hades not to hurt him (despite the structure of the episode being literally fine before, this change wasn't needed) getting snuck into the physical book release just a couple days after the newest FP tried to present Apollo in an empathetic light (and let me tell you, that's a whole essay and a half that I'll be getting into eventually).

Shit, if I wanted to get REAL Pepe Sylvia with it, I might say that hypothetically, the whole point of the random Leuce abuse episode - despite Persephone having no way of knowing what she attempted as Hades hadn't told her and she wasn't there to see it and we weren't shown her overhearing them in any way - and the following episode that was mostly padding of Hades and Persephone having sex - no consequences or follow-up whatsoever to the Leuce scene - was just to pad out the episode release schedule and buy time until the book came out so that Rachel could release that Apollo POV episode right before the book came out and revealed those new added scenes of Persephone asking Hades not to hurt Apollo, in what could be a sly artificial attempt at minimizing the SA plot so Rachel can finally just brush aside the one major plot point she regretted writing the most. After all, it wouldn't be the first time Rachel's controlled the pace of her comic to release certain moments at certain times that line up with IRL events.

But, y'know. I'm gonna quit on that thought while I'm ahead because it's probably making my credibility meter drop into the red. My ADHD has been real bad lately and it's really starting to show LMAO All ima say is that IDK who Rachel thinks she's fooling here, this kind of shit is stupid easy to fact check when the digital version of the comic is available online to read.

To end on a much funnier and lighter note, remember how Rachel tried to retcon the Demeter/Hera/Hestia relationship by changing the line "I miss my sisters" to "I miss my friends"? Well, there was one panel that had been missed in the webtoons version that still refers to them as sisters. You can still find this unedited line in Episode 78.

And uh. They forgot to fix it again for the book.

It's permanent now. That's permanent marker. It would have cost them nothing to find this in the webtoon version and fix it before it got sent to the book editors. Now it's gonna cost them thousands because the book editors didn't bother (or know) to check.

There's also this... weird shit going on with the speech bubbles. Like, they're REALLY FUCKING OVERDOING IT with the speech bubble outlines. I don't know who made this choice but it was a bad one. Gross. Don't do that. It looks so cheap.

But let's be real, at this point I feel like the book editors are just outright sabotaging Rachel because who the fuck calls themselves a professional when they do this shit-

Oh, and there's no bonus episode, just sketches. Which is fine. But it makes me chuckle to think that Rachel just didn't have time in her already razor-thin buffer to draw up a new episode to pass off as "cut content".

[counting-yellow-cars]

I was actually just replaying Inquisition the other day and in the Dalish camp on the Exalted Plains you can find a story about the creation of the universe and that Mythal created the moon... 

I don’t have the exact codex entry at hand, but this is what I could find on the wiki:

“The Dalish believe that Mythal was born of the sea.They tell that when Elgar'nan threw the sun out of the sky in vengeance for burning the earth to ashes, Mythal calmed him and helped him see how his anger had betrayed him. Elgar'nan was convinced to free the sun. On the first night after the sun was released Mythal created the moon, from the glowing earth round its bed, to be placed in the sky as a pale reflection of the sun's true glory.”

Your post just made me think of that and like... that has to be significant in some way right? 

WAIT! WHAT IF... may sound stupid but WHAT IF Solas has to destroy the sun!? It's always there, in the teaser two years ago, now in the cinematic and then it's turning into the prison of the Evanuris and then we see him DESTROY It omg, WHAT IF THAT'S TRUE - ECLIPSE Y'ALL ECLIPSE

AN ECLIPSE AS FEN'HAREL STIRRED!! I swear, if I'm right, I'll never shut up about it and if not, then it's a fun theory

[daenystheedreamer]

My theory is that Jamie will kill Cersei and then cosplay as her and bend the knee to Daenerys. Thoughts?

i think you're kind of a perfect blend of crackpot r/asoiaf tinfoil and weird genderfuck tumblr asoiaf fandom

[jacks347]

I'm about to go into full crackpot tinfoil hat theorizing so feel free to tell me I'm being stupid about this but hear me out.

So, the shade that Milo and Sweetheart fought when they first met (because I was one of the probably many that went back and relistened to Milo after that April Fools video) was more intelligent than most shades which was why it was so dangerous, right? And it was at the E&E Games feeding on people, right?

What if that wasn't an accident or some freak phenomenon? What if it was a test? A prototype for a bigger project? Oh say...the Inversion?

Now, I haven't fully listened to Closeknit or Avior's whole story so I am missing a lot of details that would probably help me here but fuck it, we ball.

Do you think the shade was a prototype test subject from Closeknit or the Sovereigns to see what they could do? See how long it would take for someone to notice the shade was there and take it down? To see how much they could get away with? Did they wait for the E&E Games to come back to Dahlia specifically to unleash their full project because of it? Was the Department's lackluster response to the one shade give them the confidence to believe they could pull it off without much interference? Cause I love Sweetheart, don't get me wrong, but they were still a newbie on their first mission being assigned to a shade. Mind you, they wanted to elevate the problem when they figured out it was a shade but still, first impressions.

I dont know what this is, it's 1 AM, my brain is shutting down and I'm 97% sure someone has thought of this and talked about it before but fuck y'all, this is my show.

[syrips]

What hairstyles would look good on Strahd? 👀

oh god im so biased. but like. literally all of them but!! here are some of my FAVORITES

longer hair strahd. like on the floor levels of length. straight hair, nice silky black with some red or white accents/undertones

wavy/fluffy hair strahd. oh god. have you seen that one art of strahd with fluffy hair? oh god. yes, that one. oh god. oh. oh my.

white/grey streak strahd is basically water is wet. like it's perfect, it's stable. its honestly more canon than whatever 1e strahd hair is

blonde long hair strahd. ok hear me out. this one is so hard to get right and its so rare. but for those who know about blonde hair strahd, i love you. but anyways. this one is so rarely done cuz its like. 'how would blonde hair strahd even work'? not only is it such a crackpot theory thing but it's like 3+ tinfoil level hats of insane to even explain how canonically it can/may work. either way, oh god. i need him. blonde hair strahd with silky long hair (similar to the black hair counterpart), help me. help. help. im insane over this to severely unhealthy levels but i do not care!! i am a blonde long hair strahd piller!!

bald strahd. ive been saying this for years that bald strahd would be so hot but im glad dragon age has portrayed the beauty of baldness. the child in me who crushed for number 1 in KND can finally feel the validation they righteously deserved for decades

when DMs have a Black strahd, my heart flutters so hard for long locs hair. any color, but ombre hairs with this style just absolutely destroy me. dark to bright/vivid ombre please please please.

red hair strahd. this one is such a power move. and DMs who do this. you are so vile, evil, cruel, and beautifully sexy. please keep doing what youre doing. you beautiful bastard

[mitsukisnekson]

⚠️ [SPOILERS FOR CH11]

The raws are out :D

Seems like Shikadai and Chocho are gonna skedaddle to the hospital ASAP to get Inojin checked out because honestly, by all accounts, Inojin should be dead. Seems like its not a 100% heal? Or at least Himawari just doesn't know. Probably not a minute has passed since he got skewered, but Inojin already fell unconcious so bro was really on his like, final two seconds of life before Himawari used the equivalent of the L4D2 Medkit.

I am definitely glad Inojin is alive, but I still hope that his injury still had consequences. Whether its emotionally or physically. Would love a bit of an introspection episode for Inojin, thinking about how close he was to death, or maybe physically, he's still unwell. My favorite crackpot theory is that Inojin still needs help and Amado offers to help and turn him into a cyborg. Would make some interesting tense moments between Amado and Sai, while also making Scientific Ninja Tools relevant again.

Anyways, I find it really wholesome that Shikadai is the one carrying Inojin. I thought Chocho would because she's physically stronger, but he decides to carry Inojin anyway, like a sack of potatoes 💀💀 I get they are on a bit of a timer, but seems kinda bad that to carry him like that when two minutes ago, there was legitimately a gaping hole in his chest. Chocho is a real one for not wanting to abandon Himawari, big sister Chocho is honestly something I didn't know I needed, but def want more of.

Okay, just putting my Kingdom Hearts hyper-analyzation tinfoil hat on for a second, I find it kinda suss that Matsuri is on the cover of this chapter? Not the one with just Hidari, the other one with Boruto vs Jura with Hidari and another guy.

Wouldn't it be crazy if Matsuri ambushes Team 10 on the way back to the village?

Probably not though. I kinda just wanna see some action that isn't just from Boruto :,)

Also where tf is Mitsuki, I haven't seen my boy in months 😭 When will this damn omnipotence malarkey be over, I want my team back together???

[transhawks]

What are you theories on this mystery man?

I have 0 except crackpot tinfoil theory im too embarrassed to explain or even publish so have it under the cut. Don't take it seriously.

that's a tenko-kurogiri overhaul-created eldritchian combo

[raayllum]

Behold, another coincidence I wrote off months ago that I am now circling back to with my tinfoil hat on, which is to say: Sir Sparklepuff guiding the mage fam squad to Callum, rather than Rex Igneous. This is for a few (crackpot) reasons: 

1) Sir Sparklepuff takes them to Umber Tor. While at first glance this is to get information from Rex Igneous, the great dragon’s chambers are also where Callum and co. are at the exact time Claudia arrives. This is likely for plot reasons (and reveal reasons) but it is a weird coincidence.

2) Upon entering the chamber, Callum is the one who provides answers about what information Rex must have, and Claudia’s line even lampshades this. “The one who has answers” can equally refer to Callum and to Rex in this situation.

3) Callum, like Rex, has a bitter grudge against Avizandum, but can also feel sympathy for the former dragon king. Callum, like Rex, is tired of gifts (specifically the ones framed as such from Rayla in her letter: “I have one more gift for you”). Callum, like Rex, has a nasty and deplorable temper. 

And, as Callum says, “having knowledge isn’t the same as knowing knowledge” and he has the Key of Aaravos in his possession (something the immediate episode prior emphasizes) that was a gift from his father, rescued by Rayla, and he doesn’t know what it does. He has knowledge, but he doesn’t know it. 

[alex51324]

Harrow the 9th/

Locked Tomb Series observation #3:

Here be spoilers, up through and including Nona the 9th:

The people in the bone coffins that JG is sending to replenish the 9th House are, according to him, people he "set aside” from the Resurrection 10,000 years ago--they’ve been in some form of stasis ever since. 

With the usual caveats about how there’s a lot we still don’t know about the end of the world, it’s pretty likely that the last thing these people remember is the day JG set off the world’s nuclear stockpile.  And, given that JG kinda seems to not want even the Lyctors to remember that little incident, there’s a good chance he fixed it so no one else did, either.  So their memories may stop a little short of that.  

Maybe the last thing they remember is getting up on the day that the quote-unquote “first wave” of FTL evacuation ships were due to leave.  Maybe they had a conversation with a relative or co-worker, along the lines of, 

“Are you going to watch the launch on TV?” 

 “IDK, maybe...we’ll all see it up close when we make the trip ourselves, hey?”  

“I guess--have you seen that crackpot on YouTube who thinks there aren’t going to be any other ships?”  

“Uh.” **Chuckles nervously, in the manner of one wondering whether an acquaintance is about to don a tinfoil hat. ** “I heard about that--didn’t watch it, though.  He’s the guy who exploded those cows, right?”

“Yeah, same dude.  He has the whole serial-killer chalkboard with the string, going on about how they aren’t buying the right things they’d have to buy to build ships, and the cargo trucks coming in to the facility are decoys.  Completely off his rocker.”  

**sighs in relief, and gestures vaguely in the direction of getting on with the day**  “Takes all kinds, I guess?”

That happens, on a world very much like our own, and then the next thing you know, you’re waking up at the bottom of a well full of  skeletons, on fucking Pluto.  

That’s gonna  be, a, uh, fascinating transition*, is what I’m saying.  I hope we get a look at one of those almost-500 people, either in the 4th book or in a short story or something.  

(*Even if you never find out that the God-Emperor of your new world is also the fucking Cow Guy.)  

[imperatorrrrr]

my very tinfoil-hat, very unscientific (also very untrue) theory that i've been marinating on for a while that was only proven further correct with today's trades is that fitzy is like lowkey trying to...punish? jack for publicly speaking up for ruff and leading to the prolongation of that nightmare (obviously not actually jack's fault to be clear i'm not insane) and/or break him down to build him back up?? idk. by trading all of his buddies (obviously he-who-shall-not-be-named gone already, bahler traded, marino gone, holtzy gone, you see what I mean?) all the while he knows that at the end of the day a) jack is enough of a nhl-insider-knowledgeable/hockey realist and b) that he'll always ultimately be FINE as long as he has lukey (not in question obviously) and also nico (also not in question obviously) and at least in an on-ice hockey sense bratter (also not gonna happen)

obviously this is certifiably insane and not actually true and that's not how nhl front offices operate etc. BUT i have not been able to get it out of my head for days so now i'm burdening you with it too (VERY sorry) realistically fitz is just kind of bonkers (plausible) OR he's playing 4d chess somehow and ~we'll see. we'll ALL see~ in like three years or whatever

holy theory, anon!

thank you for sharing! I can't say I agree, to be honest...

I will, however, use this opportunity to yap about what I think is going down. Hope you don't mind!

In the 2022-2023 season, we hired Bruno because I think there was basically an unspoken thing that if Lindy doesn't do something with this lineup, Bruno will be his successor. And then, we exceeded every expectation ever, won a playoff round, and put ourselves on the map. Plus, Lindy was even nominated for a Jack Adams. He bought himself job security.

I do think Jack liked Lindy a lot because Jack was given the freedom to do whatever and learn at his own pace under Lindy.

I have my own crackpot theories about Lindy and hating Europeans, and am happy to share that if anyone wants, but he's gone, so it doesn't really matter.

Plus, there's some mixed information out there about Fitz and Lindy's relationship. From his presser, it seems like he was forced to fire Lindy because they needed a scapegoat. From some other stuff, it seems like Fitz wanted Lindy gone much sooner but was stopped by ownership because they wanted Lindy to transition into a front office role and didn't want to sour the relationship. Nothing to do with Jack at all. Jack does not have Sidney Crosby levels of power yet.

I don't think that Jack is being punished for anything. Frankly, I think the kid is probably wrongly punishing himself plenty for everything that went down last season. I don't think Fitz has any ill will towards Jack at all mostly because he built an entire team around Jack (and Nico).

I don't think Fitz is punishing anyone, but I do think he is traumatized by last season (as are we all). We have a bajillion goalies now. We only drafted folks taller than like 6'3. Our new guys coming in are also tall boys, grittier guys. He's stabilizing the blue line which was also our other biggest issue last season.

Kevin Bahl - we needed to give up something for the absolute steal we're getting with Markstrom. Calgary is retaining. Fitz tried to package Holtzy in that, but Calgary valued Kevin Bahl more. Fitz also wants to stabilize the blue line and bring in veteran presence, and you're not going to move Luke or Nemo, so unfortunately, Bahler was the victim

John Marino - this trade is still a little baffling to me. I genuinely thought if Johnny was being traded we'd get a player that was ready to play now, but they traded him mainly for the pick, and we got the best goalie in this years draft. This is probably just setting us up for the future to have a good goalie pipeline. The other reason I've read for the Johnny trade is to make room for Pesce who is rumored to be ours in roughly ten hours. This has to do mainly with how we're going to be defending in front of Markstrom. Pesce allegedly is better suited to that defense system than Johnny is.

Alexander Holtz - I've had time to think about this, and this is very personally devastating to me and I do blame the Devils for how they handled Holtzy, but I'm coming to terms with it. They fucked his development last season by having him sit in the press box for half a season instead of sending him down. And this past season, they never seemed to give him a clear shot. Plus, then Fitz and Lindy made it their mission to shit on him at every waking moment. Unfortunately, Holtzy doesn't really have a spot on our roster. You have to think about it through line identities. Its tough because Lindy did so much shuffling, but Holtzy's hockey doesn't fit into the lines we're trying to build here other than on Jack's line, but I don't think he has the speed to keep up with Jack consistently. I hope he fucking kills it. I hate that its Vegas, but I hope he finally gets a real shot.

Akira Schmid - Akira and his agent wanted out and wanted to test the waters to see if they could get the bag and all power to him for that. Plus, I think it was fairly obvious that he was fourth in the line of goalie succession and maybe even fifth, and so he wants to play, and so he made a decision.

I think tomorrow's free agency chaos will make the vision a lot clearer.

I don't blindly trust Fitz tho, of course.

Sorry for shutting down your theorizing, anon! I just don't think there's anything to it. Plus, I'd argue Jack's crew was Ty, the superbuddies, and Merce, and then they added Johnny. I'd say Holtzy is probably closer to Merce (the Disney trip plus the fact that they go shopping together) and like Timo/Bratter/Nico (per the interview Holtzy gave). I'd also say Johnny was a lot closer to Nate too. And then Bahler had ties to Jack from childhood, but Bahler really kept to himself. (But we don't really know anything about their lives outside of the crumbs we get so anything is possible!)