#could you blame me though?
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Sorry about the lack of updates. My teacher promised me her favourite dnd dice if I score an 80 or higher on the test and I am very determined right now.
#dnd#dnd dice#i really need this#could you blame me though?#me and her had a dnd conversation for 2 hours.#it was an accident#i promise#dnd community#i am filled with determination#i need sleep
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tighnari, bent over, wiggling his hips, swishing his tail back and forth. i’m trembling.
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Imma be honest, I thought that was Neo for a second…until it started talking of course
#rwby#neopolitan#rwby 9#rwby 9 spoilers#could you blame me though?#the opening had her at a tea party for Christ sake
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Adding To or Starting a Garden
AKA, the beginning of the Plants-Related section of this series.
This is my third post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps!
Got an area of lawn you’d like to convert to a wildlife haven? An area you can stick some hanging baskets in? Want to know how your garden of tomatoes and zucchinis is already putting in a lot of work? This is the section for you!
It would be dumb of me to not acknowledge that the act of gardening can come with a lot of costs. Buying seeds, buying plants, buying soil, raised bed materials, mulch, etc. … it can all get a bit daunting, let’s be honest! But there’s quite a few ways to get seeds and plants for free or extremely cheap, which I’ll be addressing in this section! The next section will be all about addressing the other Costs in gardening and how to mitigate or eliminate them entirely.
Also, do keep in mind; there’s no need to try and convert a whole area from lawn to garden or unused to garden at once. In fact, it could actually be extremely beneficial to do it a little at a time--maybe four or five square feet to start out.
Front Lawn (or Managing Principles)
If you live in a place where you’re required to have a grass turf lawn (HOA’s come to mind…), try replacing it with native grasses instead! You could even possibly use a low-growing ground cover plant like clover to a similar effect! Reseeding/replacing an entire lawn can be a big upfront cost, but even just letting the lawn be a little messy and tall helps. If the lawn gets patchy, leave the bare spots for a little while and something different will likely pop up! Pioneer species will fill the gaps and provide benefits to other plants around them, support animals, and more! If you want to take the guesswork out of it, you could always research what the pioneer species are in your area and plant the ones you like most.
Obtaining Seeds for Cheap or Free
The cheapest way to start a garden is by far via seeds. However, seeds can be a bit complicated to grow, and some sources make them… way overpriced. Fortunately there are ways to get seeds for little to no cost!
Some places sell seeds for as low as a dollar, 50 cents, or 25 cents! The packets may not have a lot of seeds, but it’s definitely a good start for a low budget! I’ve personally bought cheap seed packets at Walmart--the Ferry-Morse and Burpee brands are not what we’re looking for here. Typically the cheaper ones I’ve found are American Seed (which is owned by Green Garden Products, which also owns Ferry-Morse, Livingston Seed, McKenzie Seed, and Seeds of Change. Do with that information what you will), but they’re rarely stocked near the Ferry-Morse ones in the Formal Gardening Section. I’ve most often found them on end caps near the gardening section, so you may have to weave through a few aisles to find them, but once you do there’s an array of flower and vegetable seeds to select from! Alternatively, I’ve found seeds at Dollar Tree sold 2 or 4 for a dollar in Spring as part of their seasonal product; however, when they’re out of stock, they’re typically out of stock for the year. Try to check them out early in the year!
Otherwise, other seed companies like Urban Farmer or Botanical Interests will often have semi-frequent sales in spring and fall, when people are stocking up on seeds--joining their email lists can help you be the first to know when a good sale is going on!
Some foods from grocery stores will provide seeds that you can use in the garden as well. I’ve had the most luck with store-bought bagged beans, peppers, and tomatoes. Some people have had luck with watermelons, apples, citrus, squash, and more. Do keep in mind that you likely won’t get the same variety of fruit/vegetable as the one you bought--the resulting plant may look different and taste different.
Give it a shot! Pick some beans you like--if they don't grow well, at least you can eat the rest!
If you live in the US, food-producing live plants, bare roots, and seeds can often be purchased with SNAP benefits. But what does growing fruits, veggies, and herbs have to do with boosting biodiversity? While food crops aren’t typically native, they still provide valuable shelter for native insects. Some plants even have intricate relationships with native fauna--like the squash bee, a solitary bee which exclusively pollinates cucurbits like pumpkins, squash, and zucchini. And we get to benefit more directly as well! If you’re planting a diverse range of foods in your garden (as opposed to the swaths of single-plant farms that typically produce what’s sent to grocery stores), you’re supporting high levels of biodiversity by providing a variety of plants for creatures to live and hunt around.
Most of the time, when we think of boosting biodiversity with a garden, we think of a colorful flower garden teeming with pollinator species. However, if we’re striving to use native species, it can be a bit difficult to find some species in stores. I can say from experience that trying to find any wildflower seeds other than butterfly weed, purple coneflowers, and black-eyed-susans is… challenging, if you limit yourself to stores like Walmart, Home Depot, and Lowe’s. You might occasionally get lucky with an ACE Hardware or a local nursery, but even then sometimes it can be hard to track down who in your area is selling what--let alone if you live in an area where no one really is selling native plants or their seeds. Not to mention, even once you find a local or online store selling the seeds you want, they can sometimes cost a pretty penny. So what do you do?
If you have the option to, consider gathering native seeds yourself! Get good at identifying the native flora and fauna--or at least, a few target plants and their lookalikes--and get ready to go! Learn where they tend to grow, when they’ll be seeding, etc. Try to identify the plant before it goes to seed (for most plants, it's easiest to identify when flowering), then check back regularly to gather seeds. Typically, if I want to learn how to collect seed from a specific plant, I just search it on Google or YouTube--oftentimes, I'm lead to the GrowItBuildIt Youtube page, so it may be a helpful resource for you as well! Of course, make sure to leave plenty of seed behind so the wild population can repopulate, and seed can feed other creatures in the area. A good rule of thumb is to take no more than 1/3rd of what's available.
Buying seed in bulk is an option if you can afford the upfront cost. Try teaming up with a few friends to buy some bulk seeds and split them amongst yourselves--you’ll get tons of seed! Prairie Moon is a popular site that'll sell seeds by the pound if you can afford the price--though they're in the US, and I believe they focus on Midwest and East Coast natives.
If you want to cheat the system, don’t buy bulk sunflower seeds--buy bags of sunflower seeds being sold as birdseed. They’re typically all black oil sunflower seeds, but they’ll sprout, and they’re fairly cheap for the amount you get!
However, beware generic wildflower seed mixes! Many brands like to sell wildflower seed mixes in big box stores like Home Depot, Target, or even Dollar Tree, but they’ll often include flowers that aren’t native or possibly even invasive in your region! Before you make any purchases, double check to make sure the contained seeds won’t do more harm than good! A quality source of native seeds will provide English and Latin names for all seeds included, and will be native to the region or at least non-invasive.
See this? I don't trust this.
There’s a good handful of programs online that’ll send you free seeds if you’re planning to start a native habitat project! Poke around online and see what you can find; you might get lucky! The best time to start looking for these is fall and winter, I find--by early spring, many of them are either done or beginning to wind down... though some also start up in spring. Ultimately--just check regularly! You never know what you can find!
Other Ways to Get Plants
Don’t want to start from seed? That’s fair! You can try cuttings! Just be sure not to take too much of the plant while you do so. Make sure you’ve gotten a few leaf nodes on your cutting, and cut any flowers you may have gotten. Make sure to leave some blooms and foliage on the original plant for the creatures in the current habitat--you don’t want to destroy one habitat to make another in your garden. There’s tons of methods of rooting cuttings, many of which have different efficacy rates for different plants, but that’s a topic for another post.
If you find seedlings growing in a place where they won’t be able to sustain themselves long-term, or are in danger of being destroyed, consider relocating them! You may be able to gently dig up and transplant the seedling to your garden. Don’t do this if they’re in a place where they can easily survive--ideally, you’ll be taking plants from sidewalk cracks, heavily maintained public gardens, roadsides, etc. Do be careful while doing this--ensure your safety first!
You’re totally allowed to join gardening communities like clubs, facebook groups, and more before you’ve even put a trowel to the dirt. These are great places to learn information and advice! Many gardeners are more than happy to help out a new gardener, and will eagerly provide seeds, cuttings, or even baby plants! Talk to some people about your gardening journey and what you’re hoping to do, and you just might find some kindred spirits--or at least get more people interested in the topic!
Seed and plant giveaways and trades happen all the time in gardening clubs, as well as online! Just poke around and see what you can find! Some are explicitly trades, meaning you’re expected to send something in return, but once you get your feet on the ground with some plant knowledge you’ll be stellar! You may be able to explain you’re just starting out, and someone may send you seeds without expecting a trade, but I’d suggest trying giveaways first.
Poke around online and see if there’s a local chapter of your state’s native plant society. From there, you’ll likely be able to find a calendar of events--many of them will host plant sales in the spring, with a bunch of native plant seedlings ripe for the pickings if you can make it out and have some money to spare! Fair warning, though, you’ll want to get there early if you can. If they say they’re starting at 10, try to get there by 9:45. Year after year, there’s always record turnout, and they sell out of plants faster than ever. Just trust me on this. I’ve been let down; hopefully you won’t have to be.
Some libraries are beginning to host seed libraries! Check around and see if your library has one! Ideally, the system works best if you also have seeds to contribute in return, but if you’re just starting out I’m sure they won’t mind you taking some seeds! Just consider saving some seeds to contribute in the future and pay it forward. If your library doesn’t have a seed library? Consider asking if they’d be willing to start one! Community interest is a great way to get the ball rolling on projects like these, but they’ll only know the community is interested if the community tells them they’re interested!
Volunteer to Garden for/with Someone Else
Maybe someone in your area wants to garden, but is struggling to find the time/energy. Many elderly people who used to garden simply can’t anymore but still would like a garden. Other people may love to have a helping hand in their garden. You might even find a few people in your area interested in renting and sharing a community garden plot with others, so they don't have to handle it all on their own! They may be interested in increasing biodiversity right now, or may be willing to if it’s brought up to them. You might be just the kind of person someone needs! Since it won't be your garden, you’ll likely need a bit of permission and collaboration to get anything in particular going, but it’s worth a shot and a way to maybe even make friends!
Again, your mileage may vary with some of these. You may not know where there's a bunch of wildflowers growing in your area, or maybe your local library doesn't have a free seed library. That's okay! Do what you're able to, find what you can find, get what you can get! And there's never any shame with starting small--in fact, starting small can make the project easier to manage and expand when you're able!
That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to start growing plants cheaply--low cost seed starting set ups, essentially. There's a lot of good options, many of which I've used myself even! Until then, I hope this advice is helpful! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!
#biodiversity#solarpunk#gardening#outdoor gardening#growing from seed#ani rambles#out of queue#the biodiversity saga#i will be honest I have never flat out approached people to offer to help them garden#HOWEVER. People HAVE approached ME asking ME to help THEM with/plan THEIR garden#granted it was after I'd been gardening for a good few years. and its mostly family or family friends but yknow#people would be like 'oh wanna help me with my veggie garden?' even before I tried growing vegetables#i don't think the library near me has a seed library but you just wait until i. get the courage. to go to the library regularly.#i've seen people also make their own little seed library structures kinda like a little free library but like#i dont think my neighborhood is about that life.#if any of yall have those though it could be a great resource! also send pics because I love seeing them#not to say that this post should become a giant seed trade but if it did become that i would be the opposite of mad#if there's any typos blame my sister shes got the hotel room at like 60-something degrees and I am FREEZING#welp time to shut up now bye
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I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:
Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.
I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:
Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.
......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?
#dragon age 2#da2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#she's slightly nicer to him when he's not there but she's still like 'maybe he feels something similar but probably pretends not to'#like i'm not gonna pretend that carver doesn't bottle any feelings--he doesn't openly talk about bethany a lot for a reason#but to suggest he pretends to be unfeeling about things like ostagar is incorrect like he CLEARLY feels a lot about it#because he associates the battle at ostagar with losing his home and sister to the darkspawn#after playing as a warrior hawke who is best friends with aveline i do have a little more insight into why she might think this about carve#when hawke is a warrior they were at ostagar. they share that traumatic experience with aveline and if they're friends#they discuss it in a way that i think aveline *wants* y'know? but with carver he doesn't respond the way she wants him to#so she gets frustrated since even if she tried to talk to hawke about it... hawke wasn't there. hawke doesnt KNOW what ostagar#was like but carver does... but it's like aveline is ready to assume the worst of carver a lot of the time?#like 'carver doesn't talk about it because he's a tit who pretends not to feel' is the vibe i get from this but aveline...#that's like calling you a tit because you don't want to openly discuss all your feelings about your dead husband#listen aveline and carver are so similar but they have such key differences like they both survived the horror of ostagar#and lost a loved one to darkspawn while fleeing lothering AND they both blame hawke for it to a degree#even though they both know that's not right and that it wasn't really hawke's fault#they're both stubborn warriors with daddy issues looking to find their place#and when it comes to flirting? well i don't think carver's as bad as aveline#but i played MotA i know all about 'you could tame its wild heart'#but the key differences come in how they the end the game y'know? especially if carver's on the friendship path as a warden#i still haven't made him a templar but something tells me he ends up more on the same road as aveline#vs when he's a grey warden and able to be away from kirkwall and find a place on his own#y'all i could write a whole essay on aveline and carver but i paused my game to write this so i should go back to that sksksk
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wish they hadn’t bitched out on having will kill bob in s2. do you know what i would have done with that all-encompassing and inescapable guilt
#like yes will blames himself to an extent but#it could have been so juicy. there is so much there.#the way it would have changed joyce and will’s relationship forever even though she CANT blame him and she DOESNT blame him#there would still be the tiniest part!!!! the smallest fraction!!!!!!!!!#putting will byers in a pickle jar and shaking him around. you haven’t suffered enough for me
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Research for Character Design: Circe
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While I'm still looking into various sources and information about Circe for my final design, here we have the first doodles and drawings of my ideas for her character design!!
I wrote all the basic knowledge we have on her on a post it, and stuck it inside my notebook for reference. I also searched up Ancient Greek Hairstyles and sketched out the ones that struck me the most. Eventually I found a couple that I could combine to create the one I ended up using in the first official concept sketch that I posted a few days ago.
Next, I looked up Ancient Greek Clothing to find possible outfit ideas. It took a while to see ones that gave me Circe vibes, but I quickly drew a couple that stood out to me.
I'll continue to research more about her, and I'll keep updating y'all on the progress and show the process here until I finalize my Circe design.
#until next time!!#epic the musical#circe#character design#epic the circe saga#epic the musical fanart#my art#research#Ancient Greece#can you tell I'm hyperfixated on Epic!Circe#I just love her so much y'all#can you blame me though#her lore is genuinely so intriguing#I could go on and on about her for ages#seriously I must keep yapping about her or I shall go insane
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Yo! Just noticed it’s the anniversary of when I finished my second fanfic Dreamcatcher, which is the work I actually started to lean into writing fanfiction (since my first work I really just wrote for myself before being encouraged to share it).
So, in honor of that, here is some of the original second nightmare which was actually written from Dream’s pov before I ended up changing it to Punz’s.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Referenced Torture, Blood, Death, Injuries, Profanity.
Dream is wet and panting, in a puddle of watery red flowing into an equally crimson pond to his side, where the non diluted liquid gets thicker.
There’s white fur stuck in it as the body of a dog, slashed to bits lies there next to him. Both sitting in the despairing silence of the box.
Tears form in the corners of his eyes and his vision gets blurry, but he doesn’t let them fall. He just exhales.
Why does everything die around him? Why does everything he dare to care a smidge about get taken from him?
As if to follow his thoughts, the white turns to black. The fluffy bloodied dog shifts into a cat that’s long since stopped breathing. Dream turns his head, and faintly smirks at the sight of the additional body sprawled out on the floor next to him.
He mutters to the corpse under his breath, rolling his eyes, “To be fair, you were being a bitch. Like don’t blame me, you know you d—deserved it… I mean I lasted like—how long before beating your head in? That’s pretty impressive—pretty fucking impressive, you know.”
Tommy’s body doesn’t respond, just stays there, unmoving and uncharacteristically quiet. His face swollen and bruised, not unlike the innocent cat he beat to death.
Then his body evaporates and Dream finds himself in a new room, accented with black walls and bedrock. It’s detail is perfectly ominous like he wanted.
He’s kneeling, unguarded by armor with an audience of people surrounding him. His heart beats rapidly threatening to burst out of his chest at the danger. But he ignores it.
Indignant, Tommy rips off the mask that always covers his face. Exposing his pale skin to the cool air and the venomously judging faces.
Despite the frustration at his denial of privacy, he doesn’t so much as dignify it with a flinch. It was expected. He was ready. He’s not about to show weakness in front of a crowd.
They are silent as the axe lands, and lands again before lady death finally embraces him.
They are silent as the sword finds its place in his chest and he falls to the ground, bleeding out into the cold stone beneath him.
It’s ok. He knew this would happen. It was expected, it was planned. He didn’t know they’d kill him twice, but it’s fine.
On one life, he makes his way back down with sharp pain running through his veins. Somehow it seems duller than the pain in the prison cell, though it can’t have been less excruciating.
Tommy once again stands above him savagely firing arrows away. As they pierce his flesh and bone, he searches the cold faces around him and listens intently, hoping to hear one sound of objection to his approaching final death.
Surely, someone will say something, right? Surely, someone will oppose his final death, right? Surely, they woundn’t let Tommy kill him off in cold blood. Would they?
But there’s nothing from them. Absolutely nothing. Standing there, dripping in blood, he feels his heart entirely disintegrate into nothing. Leaving only a hollow emptiness in its wake.
Then suddenly he’s freezing from more than just death and despondency. He’s surrounded by ice. Their pillars, tall and sharp, casting the land in a pointed terrain. Despite the bone chilling air and his frozen insides, he stands, planted to the ground, looking at a sign pinned to the glacier. The wood marking the death of his parrot that travelled so far only to die there.
A deep sigh is released from his lungs and the scene smears into broad strokes of colors. Until a well known bleak room encases him in lava and obsidian again.
Sitting there with nothing but the annoying sounds of the prison to keep him company, he wonders if he’s always destined to lose everything. Was it always going to end up like this? Was he always going to end up alone?
#I swear I do plan on expanding this work into a series… I can’t believe it’s been a year and I still haven’t posted any of related fics… oo#blame bad and techno for claiming me attention lol… anyways I do have lots written so it’s coming… :)#leftovers#c!dream#thank y’all so much for your support. kind words. and for encouraging me to write more and making me feel safe to do so and share it. <3#writing has been really good for my mental health this past year and not only being allowed to do so#but having people enjoy it has been really really healing for me so thank you so much <3 <3#thanks for being the first fandom that emboldened me to write fanfic <3#dreamcatcher#dsmp#dreblr#dsmp dream#for real though… I could have written such good arrow and supernatural and maybe even Loki fanfic if I’d know fandoms could be so supportiv#(and that fanfic isn’t just about ships… XD)#dream smp#dsmp fanfic#flora writes things
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: EARTH (PART 1 - REVAMPED)
Ft. Staff Cmdr. Sophie Oliveira-Shepard Alenko-Oliveira, Cpt. Arno Delacroix, and Zaeed Massani-Shepard MIRA'S MORE CANON ME3 "Shadow Broker resources? Yeah, they might be good for a lot of shit, Dove. Convincing the brass to get off their asses and do something about the Reapers? Not one of them. Think that one might be up to you, this time. Entertaining diction and goddamn fucking all." Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#arno delacroix#zaeed massani#mass effect#mass effect 3#dailygaming#TBO:ME3#MORECANONMASSEFFECT#heyyyyy do you guys remember when i used to make those big fucking gif sets of the me3 missions? :)#i brought them back just a little bit :) but i felt inspired to make them a little more canon :)#zaeed is a certified little shit when it comes to soph. he will die if he does not find some way to constantly annoy the fuck out of her#he is also certified ‘i steal my husband’s clothes’ (sorry regis but he’s not sorry in the slightest)#i like to think he has very one-sided beef with arno. he pisses him off for a reason zaeed will not disclose to anyone (it's a dumb reason)#SPEAKING OF ARNO :) my beloved boy :) i’ve only shown him in renders but :) enjoy in game arno :)#i will never be more proud of anything in this galaxy than i am of the work i did getting his head ported into game#holy fuck all of the work to weight paint those lip piercings and do blending and conversion work on his face textures#he turned out so well and i am so proud of him :) those lip weights will never stop making me :)#(also his cybernetic arm is sick as fuck and i love him and could rant about my favorite pilot all day)#my favorite normandy pilot :)#i ended up making way too many gifs so this is a two parter :) i blame bioware for making me swap 9 pawns in 5 files in the prologue :)#i wanted as much content out of this swap as i could get because it turned out so much better than the idea i had in my head so :)#thanks i guess for my partial mesh swap suffering bioware. 5 files for just the prologue walk is wild though lmao#yeah there's a little bit going on here :) definitely some changes from the last time i gif'ed the prologue :)#i made some decisions about canon that are very not bioware ME3 canon because fuck bioware ME3 canon :)#also yes i gave soph a promotion. fuck ME canon lmao. soph gets a promotion lol#she also got a name change too ;)
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Lines that somehow single-handedly kinda broke my heart:
"Thank you."
"Never thank me for that."
#Dain Aetos#Violet Sorrengail#Violet Sorrengail quotes#Dain Aetos quotes#Iron Flame#Iron Flame quotes#Rebecca Yarros#Chapter 44#no spoilers please#quote spoilers without spoiling#iykyk#first read along with me#reading reacts#break my heart#spoonies understand#legit I’ve lived this#idk there’s just a lot in this scene#the fact he knows exactly what she means the way he just grabs her the way she did everything she could and still is blamed#though the griffin grabbed the rider first not her and she literally couldn’t move and she tried and the love and heartbreak in Dain at that#the like guilt response pain relief thank you and the horror heartache of her even saying that or owing him or any part of it#plus the chaos of the scene and almost humor in her being like ITS NOT THAT BIG A DEAL DO IT cause been there too idk it just got me#ALSO RIDOC DONT YOU DARE DIE ON ME#the next lines too but they get their own posts#and Cibbe broke my heart btw#and YES AND THATS WHY I LOVE HIM#OK POWER QUEEN#He wields the older brother disapproving stare like the professional he is. but also Brennan Ridoc best not die bro#and it was a brilliant idea Vi#How did you know you could kill them like that? I didn't.
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Hi krenny, about what we discussed last time
What if by being normal Trey meant he's not special, trying to hide his real UM power. Like the trope of a genius who pretends to be average and wants to enjoy the normalcy of life because if others found out it would bring them problems and unwanted attention
I'm not saying Trey is a genius but maybe he's trying to do the same thing. Who knows, maybe he doesn't want special treatment or others trying to take advantage of his abilities (eg. If azul ever found out there's more to doodle suit than trey let's on, he'd do anything to get his grubby hands on an UM that changes matter. Basically the philosopher's stone.)
I do agree with what someone said that he's wearing this "I am normal" as an armor but maybe what's he's trying to say is he's not special but others think he means he's not weird and take it the wrong way assuming he must be weird if he insists on it that much?
Saki, I think you're COMPLETELY correct with this!
Trey is very powerful, very competent, and VERY clever. He's almost the inverse of Jamil in what he does. He hides his abilities, but unlike Jamil, Trey doesn't want that attention. Instead of acknowledgement, Trey wants comfort. And he has found that the way to reach his desires is to stay in the background, keeping things running from the shadows, and only stepping out when absolutely necessary.
Trey is incredible, truly, but constantly lowers himself so as to not stand out. Whether that be in an "I don't want to be seen as weird" way, or an "I don't want to be seen as special" way, I think the outcome is the same. He just wants things to be comfortable for him, and for Trey, that seems to be in the form of staying out of the spotlight.
#twst#twisted wonderland#trey clover#my darling baker ♡#you know... it also reminds me of that one line of Jade's from his Ceremonial Robes card#''I do enjoy observing humans but I'd rather not be on the receiving end. Ha ha ha... Is that what they call ''stage fright''?''#it's a little different but also similar to Trey - both want to stay out of the spotlight and just do their work without much attention#I love Trey#(and Jade)#it does frustrate me a bit though... Trey could do SO MUCH if he let himself. but I don't blame him for wanting to do things his way either#krenenbaker's questions#saki✧🌊
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i dont take selfies often so here's a dirty mirror pic from valentines day and then 2 doodles of my outfits from when i went to back to back trans noise shows the weekend before all my finals were due
#happy tdov i love you smile#first show was so fucked up because i didnt mean to bring my jacket over but i was walking to the venue and forgot to leave it in my studio#MISTAKE. i had a longsleeve under it and a tank .... fucking sweating bullets in the pit all night it was so gross. but like can u blame me#it was cold as fuck on the walk because this was like mid december#second show of that weekend was so awesome though i had a ride and it was raining too so we could take a break between sets to cool off#got covered all over in bruises that night. and then i went back to my studio on campus and sat my ass down and started writing for the#zine i posted today. wheeeeee. ''we're still here'' on the poster back was referencing my fave song / album by hirs collective btw.. show 2
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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extremely high on the bucketlist is putting twilight zone or munsters or some other cozy old show(or just chill music) on for a few hours and covering a friend completely head to toe in ink
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/30a024be8279f03242e33c2e26d86f82/4dc1f6335f57626c-fa/s540x810/b6944e6195442057d5973b8a9381da8fa59001a9.jpg)
#having somebody as a canvas to go to town on with a brush pen would be extremely cool#i have no problem with nudity since that doesn’t affect me in the slightest#could masseuse it up with towels i guess. i wouldnt care#half of the time i spend drawing i’m looking at someones dickandballs or boobandcooch#it helps that i’m asexual#but it’s freak shit no matter how you slice it i guess. not freak as in Freak. freak as in odd#it’s an odd thing to want to do and/or ask of someone#so far not on the same page with anyone#imagining it makes me very badly want to be though. i can imagine getting fully absorbed and not thinking a single thought at all#it’s very methodical and mindless and also spontaneous and fun#gotta get some incense for if i ever get around to it. it just seems like something that wouldn’t be complete without some incense yk#i’d say candles but i’m always fussing over implications. it’s my biggest bad habit#it’s super vulnerable and kind of wildly intimate which contributes to my reluctance to pursue doing that with anyone around right now#because i barely know my buddies here atm lol#and they don’t know me#i wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong impression..#i have lived a life of people getting the wrong impressions!!!#i don’t blame anyone of course. im cute and awesome and funny and cool it only makes sense.#omg. i could even use paint#nontoxic obviously#single angelic note
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Yeah it a thing. I've read some fics where belos is luz's father, and Camilla took her away from the isles. It's a weird ship.
Tbf that's was a popular theory back during season 1, the whole "the villian is actually the main character's father" (Like in Miraculous Ladybug, Ok KO, etc)
But I knew that isn't the case when we saw what Hunter (his "nephew") looked like. My logic was Luz is supposed Afro Latina and that is a WHITE man (at the time I thought Camila was just Latina and Luz's dad was the black one until we saw him)
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