sleepynervewriting

[sleepynervewriting]

I forgot to mention but i got the dice

Sorry about the lack of updates. My teacher promised me her favourite dnd dice if I score an 80 or higher on the test and I am very determined right now.

[sleepynervewriting]

Epic picture

hey guys, so sorry i died.

[sleepynervewriting]

Wednesday, I received. I know my score. I'll tell you on Monday.

Sorry about the lack of updates. My teacher promised me her favourite dnd dice if I score an 80 or higher on the test and I am very determined right now.

[sleepynervewriting]

Ok. Today is the day.

Sorry about the lack of updates. My teacher promised me her favourite dnd dice if I score an 80 or higher on the test and I am very determined right now.

[sleepynervewriting]

Sorry about the lack of updates. My teacher promised me her favourite dnd dice if I score an 80 or higher on the test and I am very determined right now.

[sleepynervewriting]

Today's update will be a bit shorter than normal, sorry about that. Also, sorry about the lack of Nellie and Elle. Anyway, people that wanted to be tagged: @technologyvoid @beesbeesbees42 @butterflyloverz @revnl17

A few hours have passed; Serina is sitting at camp, looking at the plants and fruit she has collected. Sure, they are edible and nutritional, but in no way will they satisfy her hunger. In frustration, she closes her eyes; listening in on the quiet forest.

In the distance, she could hear a faint splash. Wait, a splash? She jolts up; alert and concentrating on any noise that could indicate a water source nearby. Apart from the breeze, she can hear the flowing streams crashing onto nearby terrain. Jackpot. Flowing water.

Grabbing her bag that was packed for the school hiking trip, she starts marking her way; closer to what she hopes is flowing water. Chop! The rock hacks into the tree, leaving her version of a road marker. Never in her life did she even ponder the amount of tree abuse she was going to commit - the things you do for survival. For every open wound she left on a tree, the louder the flowing river became.

With desperate hope, The river sang to her - it was the sweetest song she had ever heard. She knew she would make it. Her hope grew with each step she took. In the distance, she spotted something - a light. Could it be? Surely, Serina must be dreaming. The glistening light dancing in her vision; calling her to come closer. She did it. She found a river. The clear blue waters of the river shimmer as the sunlight peeks through the trees; fish swim under the crystal clear canal. Perfect. Serina gathers a twigs and vine; planning to build a fish trap and lodge it between the rocks - the fish swim downstream that way.

A cruel prank by your bullies leaves you separated from the rest of the class. Instead of finding your way back, you decide to “go missing” and let the consequences catch up to them.

[sleepynervewriting]

Sorry for the lack of updates; I am packing my stuff to go back home and probably spend some time with my friends to celebrate my birthday.

I'm still going to write the story, I just won't have much leisure time to work on it as I currently do.

Again, my apologies.

Edit: to keep us busy, what do you think Serina, Nellie and Elle look like? I'm still thinking about how they look canonically, but I do have a vague idea. You can send your ideas through my questions inbox. I'd love any of them.

I still can't believe that my story is actually so beloved; my inbox is filled with people that love it, thank you <3

[sleepynervewriting]

Honestly, I didn't expect so many people to actually love my work. I'm actually so overwhelmed by the amount of notifications. So here it is; not completely finished, but I build the world up some more. Tell me if you want to be tagged for future updates. @technologyvoid

Thud thud thud. A loud banging on her door startled Nellie out of her sleep. Thud thud, the banging on the door continues.

For a moment she lays still, taking deep breaths to calm her racing heartbeat. As she came to her senses, she scrambled out of her canopy bed and hurried to the door; Rushing down her white marble stairs, her mind racing with possibilities. Who could be outside at this hour? And why wake her from her needed beauty sleep? She slowly opened the door, heart pounding in her chest, and she was met by a grim-faced police officer...

Nellie's heart sank, she did not expect visitors at this hour, especially not the police. What was she going to do? Most importantly, what was she going to say? She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, adjusting her silk pyjamas to be more presentable.

Nellie's parents work important jobs, her mom is a judge; her dad is a lawyer. When they weren't at work, they'd teach her many things. As a child, she thought the information was boring and useless. But now, she couldn't be more thankful. "Miss Nellie, I'd like to have a word with you." Nellie stared at the cop's face with discomfort, keeping silent. The cop looks at Nellie; uncomfortable from the silence, she continues the one-sided conversation: "I... Your classmate named Serina; She seems to be missing" Nellie rubs her eyes, still drowsy from being woken up - trying her best to process this information. The officer, trying her best to gain information, continues speaking: "I heard from your classmates that You and Serina had quite the relationship — a negative one." Startled awake at the accusing words of the officer, she needs to hold her ground. "I have the right to remain silent. I won't speak to you without a lawyer. You're disrupting my peace and my sleep. Thanks for the news, miss. Goodbye." She gently closes the big door and watches the cop leave from the window. Now panicking at the few unnecessary sentences she spoke, she's sure she is going to be a suspect in Serina's disappearance.

Serina wakes up to the sound of chirping birds. She takes a deep breath, inhaling the succulent scent of flowers and wet grass. Relaxed; she drinks a sip of water, knowing she doesn't have to go to school - she's missing after all. By rubbing the sleep out of her eyes; she admires the beautiful forest scenery: birds flying, the trees dancing with the wind as honeybees buzz their lullabies. If only she could live like this forever.

Serina closed her eyes, feeling the warm sun on her face that shines between the leaves. She begins to ponder; will she truly benefit from never returning? Oh of course not! Serina brushes away the idea; it would be too stupid and dangerous - especially in the winter. Also, she has friends and family, why worry them? Her classmates respect her; they never did her any harm. The problem is Nellie. Nellie and her friends come from more well-off families, which means they also have more power in the city; surely her parents tried their best to raise Nellie to be a kind woman, right? Nellie is a beautiful girl, why couldn't she just be nicer?

The moment Elle saw the worried look on Nellie's face, she knew something was wrong, "Nellie? What's wrong — OMG! Was I correct the other day?" Nellie furrowed her brows "What are you talking about, Elle?" Elle looked at Nellie like a curious dog, trying her best to turn the cogs in her head. "Oh... right, I never told you that I thought she was going to go missing; In my defence-" Nellie gave Elle a big hug; well, it looked like one. In reality, Nellie shut Elle's mouth with her hand - trying her best for it to not look suspicious. Furious, she whispered in her ear: "Elle, I love you, but for the love of everything that's holy; shut your fucking mouth. We do NOT want to be associated with the disappearance of Samantha, OK?" Elle pulled out Nellie's grip, fixing her clothes and taking a deep breath. "Nellie, could I talk to you?" Nellie looked at Elle, hoping she doesn't say anything rash. "Nellie... by saying her name wrong; you aren't getting her attention — she isn't here." Nellie took a deep breath, and started walking to class; Elle quickly walks at her side. "You're right, I'm sorry. I would say her name wrong to see her reaction, but she isn't here. I understand." Elle sighs from relief, Nellie understands.

Serina is checking the forest around; looking for danger and foraging for food. Luckily for her, the animals that can do her most harm are wild boars - no bears. Not having to worry about bears, she begins her quest for edible plants. She has foraged many times before; this was nothing out of the ordinary, yet she felt nervous. The forest she foraged in was one she was familiar with - this is unknown terrain to her. Trying her best to not pluck something poisonous, she inspects every mushroom, fruit and plant that may be a poisonous variant of the one she knows. What if this forest is filled with poisonous plants? Her traps were empty, she'd have no backup food... She needs to find a river soon...

A cruel prank by your bullies leaves you separated from the rest of the class. Instead of finding your way back, you decide to “go missing” and let the consequences catch up to them.

[sleepynervewriting]

Alright , here it is

I will finish this if people actually like this. So, yeah.

Serina looked around frantically, trying to locate her classmates, but to no avail. Her heart pounded in her chest, her breathing shallow as she realised that she had been separated from the rest of the class by some cruel trick played by her bullies. As her panic grew, she tried to think clearly and decide what she should do next. She couldn't think, her head felt so light she could pass out any moment. Tears filled her eyes as her panic became anger. How – How could she let them pull a trick like this on her? Why was she the victim of their cruelty? Why?

What had she done to deserve this? She took a deep breath, wiping away her tears as she thought of a plan. Today, and in the future; things will be different - she won't be kind to them anymore.

Her head looked down at the forest floor as she paced up and down, trying to find a way to make them guilty. A plan that will fill their minds with remorse; something that will break them. Serina came to a halt when a light went off in her head; the perfect plan. When she was a little girl, survival camp was where she went at the weekends. A fun activity that taught her needed survival skills and an important attitude. She needs to go missing.

Surviving in the wild, in a place you're not familiar is hard but she has faith. Her memories of the distant past may be vague but are still very helpful. By examining her surroundings, she knows she isn't far from the path. it would be a good thing, but her plan is to go missing. She marks the tree she is standing next to by hitting it with a rock, scraping away the moss, and making sure she doesn't truly get lost when she goes deeper into the forest. Her way of marking her path is by marking the tree from the direction she came from and marking the direction she goes. Her perfect strategy.

Nellie and her group of friends were giggling and celebrating the success of their amazing prank. The shame they felt was little; they didn't respect poor Serina. As they walked farther from the place they pulled the prank, the more they expected her to run back all teary-eyed to the class. She didn't - she didn't return.

Nellie's friend, Elle started to worry about Serina. "Nellie, it's been more than 2 hours now and-" a hand in her face interrupts her speech, the disapproving face of Nellie tells her everything, yet Nellie decides to speak: "Are you seriously worried about Sandra? It's only been more than 2 hours, she is going to return all dirty and we will laugh in her face, understood?" Elle nodded in agreement as she mumbled out a word that sounded like an understood, not even bothering to correct the fact she said the wrong name.

Elle loved to be unnecessarily cruel; she didn't want to be tied to someone going missing. Nellie wouldn't care, she is blind to her actions. You would need to shove a big TV with the words "Girl missing" to make her see the severity.

Serina had built herself a shelter, slightly raised from the forest floor to keep her body heat when sleeping and set up a few animal traps. Her plan was to be gone for 5 days; in this time she would definitely be reported missing, but not die from dehydration. When the sun started setting, she started a campfire to keep flies and bears away from her resting spot. Her class must have returned home by now. In a mix of excitement, nausea and nervousness, she went to sleep, waiting for the day she emerges out of the forest.

A cruel prank by your bullies leaves you separated from the rest of the class. Instead of finding your way back, you decide to “go missing” and let the consequences catch up to them.

[sleepynervewriting]

Stay tuned, I want to write this.

A cruel prank by your bullies leaves you separated from the rest of the class. Instead of finding your way back, you decide to “go missing” and let the consequences catch up to them.

[sleepynervewriting]

How to Write When You Don't Have Time

I might be losing my mind a little bit, but I swear someone asked me how to write when they don’t have time, but now I can’t locate the question in my inboxes or messages, but I thought I’d address it just in case someone actually did ask me this question. First off, let me start by saying, I may not be the best person to answer this. I’m not married, don’t have kids, and I work in the writing industry. So if anyone reading this has their own expertise to add to this post, please leave a comment for others. Before getting too far into this topic, I want to acknowledge that some people may be dealing with a lot of life challenges at the moment, with serious health problems, being a caretaker for a loved one, serious financial problems, and unforeseen life crises, and may be legitimately unable to work on their writing because they ran out of today’s time yesterday and their physical and mental stamina ran out before they got out of bed this morning. If you find yourself in such a category, don’t fret. Life happens. It won’t be this crazy forever. But for the average person who has at least half a grip on their crazy busy life but can’t quite squeeze writing into said life, here are some ideas that might help. 1. Get more out of your schedule by living with more intention.

Some of us human beings struggle to live intentionally. We pull out our phones to check on something, and before we know it, we’ve lost an hour to the social media black hole. Or we sat down to take a break and suddenly Netflix is asking us if we are still watching Stranger Things. I know what some of you are thinking: Isn’t this post supposed to be about people who are too busy to write? Not about people who are just sitting around? My point is, whether or not you actually spend hours unexpectedly watching Netflix, there are probably parts of your day you are living without intention, which usually means time is slipping through your fingers. Not everyone wants to live every hour intentionally. Many cultures and lifestyles around the world don’t; they just go with the flow and do whatever, like the beach lifestyle. What I am saying is that if you are a busy person who doesn’t have time to write, and you want to have time to write, this might be what you want to look at. Do you have behaviors and parts of the day where you are unintentionally losing time? Do you have the tendency to procrastinate things you don’t want to do, for example? Intentional living doesn’t mean you never get breaks. It means that when you take a break, you take breaks you intended to take. It doesn’t mean that you never have free time. It means that when you have free time, it’s something you intended. Intentional living means making every hour count, and getting rid of moments where time doesn’t. It means when you are doing something, you are doing something, not kind of doing it. If I’m cleaning my room, but sort of just leisurely cleaning it, I’m probably losing time. But if I decide to draw upon more intention, and clean my room more intentionally, I’ll make an effort to do it in a more efficient manner and get done quicker. So look at your lifestyle and see if you can free up more time by living more intentionally. And notice that I didn’t say you had to live at max capacity intention. I said more intention. 2. Don’t work harder. Work smarter.

There is a business show I love to watch called The Profit. In it, successful business man Marcus Lemonis goes into failing businesses and helps build them back up. One of the things Marcus says is that it’s better to work smarter than it is to work harder. And when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Here is a simple example. Let’s say I’m working really hard at doing the dishes. I’m working as hard as I can, but my methods are random. I hand-wash and put the dishes away one by one. I’m putting a lot of time and effort into getting this kitchen clean. But you know what’s better than working harder at that method? Working smarter. Instead of hand-washing everything, I put them in the dishwasher. Instead of putting items away one by one as I wash them, I put them into piles and take the whole stack of plates to the cupboard at once. Working smarter is about looking for ways to work more efficiently. It’s about finding ways to get more done in the time you have, and finding easier but still effective methods. Pretty much everyone is doing something that could be done more efficiently. When you work smarter you can free up more time. Or, when you write smarter, you can get more done in the amount of time you have. 3. Stop using mental energy focusing on the fact you don’t have enough time.

My dad is a really busy person. One thing he said to me several months ago has stuck in my mind. He said, it’s amazing how much more you can get done when you stop thinking about how you can’t get it done. This is probably going to sound weird, but the way we think is also a usage of time–our mental time. The mental time we spend thinking about how we feel sorry for ourselves is mental time we could be putting to use in a different way. You might could even say we can try to think with more intention or to think smarter. Instead of thinking about how I don’t have time to do something, I could be spending the “mental time” and “mental stamina,” thinking about how I can do that thing more efficiently. Feeling sorry for ourselves about not having time often leads to sluggish demeanors and attitudes, and only makes it that much more difficult to be productive. It’s like we’ve dropped a boulder in our own path that we now have to push out of the way before we can continue. The older I get, the more I realize, how we think about things is everything. Unfortunately, though, when you make statements like that, you get a whole bunch of people going out and trying to micro-manage all their thoughts and feelings, and they actually end up just suppressing said thoughts and feelings. It’s not about suppressing–it’s not about telling yourself you aren’t allowed to think or feel that way, that breeds resentment toward self and unrealistic expectations. Instead, if you have a problem with the way you think, you acknowledge it and move on. Or, depending on how serious it is, you acknowledge it, work through it, and then move on. It takes time–maybe months or years–but eventually it won’t be a tendency to think that way anymore. I am a strong believer that in most circumstances, we can eventually change how we think. Anyway, my point is, stop using your “mental time” on thoughts that aren’t helpful to you. You don’t need them anymore. It’s not helpful to focus on how little time you have. What is helpful is focusing on how to best manage the time or task you have been given. What is helpful is spending your mental stamina on how you’ll build your better life, realistically. 4. Stop procrastinating and implement the 20-minute rule.

Learn to start doing something you don’t want to do, when you should do it. Don’t watch an episode first. Don’t play Candy Crush first. Sit down and start working. Remember, it’s okay if you really, really, really don’t want to do something. You are allowed to feel that way. But what matters is that you do it despite it. My brother and I have a method for when we don’t feel like working on something. It’s what I think of as the 20-minute rule. Now, I don’t know psychologically why this works, but it works for both of us almost every single time. And I’ve seen it work for many others. When you don’t want to work on something, you sit down and work on it anyway, telling yourself you only need to do it for 20 minutes. Now, you need to actually do the work intentionally–actually put in effort, not just sit there–and I don’t know why, but almost always, by 20 minutes in, you realize it’s not that bad. It’s like my dad always says, “Nothing is as bad as you think it’s going to be.” After 20 minutes, it’s easier to work longer, and I just keep working anyway. You can try this with anything you don’t want to do, in order to get it done quicker so you can free up writing time. But you can also do this with writing, when you finally have freed up a few minutes to write and don’t feel like writing. Just give yourself 20 minutes. I bet 9/10 times you’ll want to keep writing after the 20 minutes. 5. Use the percolation approach to writing.

There are discovery writers, people who like to just sit down and start writing and “discover” the story as they go; and there are outliners, people who like to outline the story before they start writing. But there is also another writing approach that’s very common that we don’t talk about much, which is the percolation approach. Percolation is when you get ideas for a story, and you let them sit in your mind for a while until you are ready to write them. If you don’t have a lot of time to write, or time to set aside to consistently write, the percolation method is a good one for you. You probably have ideas of what kind of stories you want to write. Let them sit in your mind. Let your subconscious take a stab at them. Think about them when falling asleep at night, or in the morning before you get out of bed. When you feel ready to write the scene and have a few minutes, you’re all ready to go. I think most writers use a little bit of all three methods. The tricky part about percolation is you might hit an area that doesn’t eventually come together on its own, so you do need to sit down and work it out. But, heck, you can even use the percolation method scene-by-scene. When one scene is ready to write, you write it. Then you let more ideas percolate, and then you write that scene. You don’t have to write chronologically either. Write the scenes you want, and before you know it, you might have half the book in your head done.

Keep reading

[sleepynervewriting]

How to write red herrings

Here are some of my own tips on how to handle red herrings in your crime books! Have you got any of your own hints that have helped you?

🤔 What is a red herring?

This is a device specific to thrillers and mysteries where the reader is trying to actively solve the case as they read. The red herring is used as bait to throw the reader off the trail, and make them falsely suspect someone who isn’t the culprit.

So how can you use this device effectively?

This first thing to always keep in mind when writing crime books, is that you should make every single character at least a little bit suspicious.

🔎 Be serious in your herring setup

You should dedicate just as much time into making your readers believe someone is the culprit, as you do into the actual culprit.

This means that whomever you decide to paint as your red herring should have a plausible backstory, motive, or means of having committed the crime—rather than just be someone who acts shifty.

🔎 Separate your clues up into two parts

Whatever clue you use that ultimately unravels the identity of your culprit, never give the full picture when your sleuth first discovers it.

It should come in two parts—the first one to misdirect them, and the second one that gives an extra fine detail that can no longer be mistaken for anyone else but the true culprit.

🔎 Use two red herrings

Use your first one around the midpoint of your story, and in the final act, lead us on yet another trail, where the reader will expect this to be the final answer to the mystery.

But no! That final chase was also for naught, and you can reveal the true mystery at the very end of the book.

🔎 Bluff it out

You could hint at your real culprit first, making your readers think it’s a red herring, then follow the trail to a new suspect in the finale, when you pull another plot twist and reveal the first suspect was actually at fault.

MY BOOK IS OUT SO SO SOON!!!🤩 If you haven’t pre-ordered it and you enjoy the content on this account, this is the perfect way to show support. Pre-orders count so much towards those first week sales, and help push the book out to more stores and people!

Order it now through the [link here] or below!

✉️ Got any questions? Write it below this post or send me a question on Instagram. [Sadly, still not all tumblr messages get delivered.]

[sleepynervewriting]

How to make character deaths sad

Here’s my two cents on making character deaths sadder in your novel, with a quick example included!

Want to coax a tear out of your readers, but you don’t know how? Let me give you my best tips for this.

👉 Make them worth something

Killing a character off for the sake of doing it, or for bringing shock value, will only come off as a cheap plot beat. If you’re going to have a big character death, you should do it on purpose, know why you’re doing it, do it in the right moment, and know what consequences that death will bring.

👉 Dissect the big emotions down to their smallest atoms

Describing big emotions like grief or love is a surefire way to generalize the feeling and leave your readers’ eyes dry.

Instead, focus on feelings that are specific to the characters who are grieving and those they’ve lost. Do they have a line they often say to each other, an inside joke, a silly plan they never got around to?

Here are some examples:

Imagine a father and son who constantly fight over leftover cake in their fridge, and the son always gets to it first, while the dad gets left hangry, and complains how he never gets the last piece.

After a car accident, the dad is dying in his son’s arms.

Which line is going to hit you more?🤔

A) Dad, please, just hold, on, I can’t lose you.

B) You can’t die. I saved you the last piece of mom’s cake.

👉 Build up the character first

Readers won’t cry for someone they don’t care about. So if you already go into writing a book knowing you’re going to have some expendable characters who die, make sure you don’t gloss over their development. The more interesting their arcs and personalities are, the more probable it is that your readers will care for their deaths.

👉 Consequences can be stronger than the event itself

What I mean by this is that sometimes you don’t even have to cover the death scene in order to get the most feeling across. End one chapter with the character alive and well, and have the next one be without them—the feeling of emptiness in the rest of your characters without witnessing precisely what happened can work so well in many cases.

Have you heard of Novel Plotting Academy?🤩 It’s my huge digital course that contains all of my knowledge and step-by-step processes on planning a hella good story.

NPA will help you outline your story idea, so you can write a full novel with ease and get that book deal you’ve always dreamed of.

Join by August 31st, through the [link here] or before the course goes back up to full price!

[sleepynervewriting]

5 Most Common Mistakes with Dialogue

As an editor, I’ve been thinking about how I need to do a post on some of the most common mistakes I see in dialogue. Many are a matter of fine-tuning, moving from a great writer, to a professional one.

Dialogue Tags Don’t Match the Dialogue

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not wholly against alternative dialogue tags (“groaned,” “cried,” “yelled,” “lamented,” etc.), and I think they can be particularly effective when the dialogue and the context of the story can’t portray the way that it’s said. For example:

“That’s great,” Melody groaned

But sometimes the dialogue tag honestly doesn’t fit the way it’s said. It’s hard to give an example of this in a blog post, because often whether or not the tag fits the dialogue depends on the context of the story. But look at this:

“Elephants use their skin folds to crush mosquitoes,” Milo whined

The direct dialogue doesn’t sound like whining. The content doesn’t sound like something to whine about, and the structure doesn’t sound like whining. But that is the chosen dialogue tag. It doesn’t fit.

“Elephants use their skin folds to crush mosquitoes,” Milo said matter-of-factly.

But sometimes you get weird combos like this:

“Elephants use their skin folds to crush mosquitoes,” Milo whined matter-of-factly.

I don’t know about you, but “whined matter-of-factly” sounds like something that’s pretty difficult to pull off.

Here are some more examples:

“I need to lose weight,” Taz wondered.

“Can I check into my hotel room now?” Kelly raged.

“Want to pick up the groceries?” Katie exclaimed.

Sure, grammatically, they are fine, but other than very rare occasions, the tags aren’t appropriate for the direct dialogue. Make sure what you write matches.

Modifiers Don’t Match the Dialogue

Some people really love using modifying phrases (participial phrases) with their dialogue tags. Again, I’m not against this, but like anything, it can be overused, and more than that, it needs to make sense. A modifying phrase after a dialogue tag is adding information to the dialogue tag.  It works as an adjective. Here is a fine example.

“Do you ever sunburn?” Manny asked, squeezing sunscreen into his palm

“Squeezing sunscreen into his palm” is a modifying phrase–it adds information to “Manny asked.” Because it functions similar to an adjective, it’s also saying that Manny squeezed the sunscreen into his palm at the same time he asked “Do you ever sunburn.” Not after. The same time.

Here is a problem example:

“Grab the gun!” I yelled, holding my breath as a cloud of smoke came our way.

You cannot yell and hold your breath at the same time. So this is a problem. But you can easily fix it:

“Grab the gun!” I yelled, then held my breath as a cloud of smoke came our way.

OR

“Grab the gun!” I yelled. I held my breath as a cloud of smoke came our way.

OR

“Grab the gun!” I yelled, and I held my breath as a cloud of smoke came our way.

But NEVER

“Grab the gun!” I yelled, holding my breath as a cloud of smoke came our way.

Other times, the participial phrase doesn’t match because it doesn’t fit with the dialogue (usually it doesn’t logically match in length).

“Yes,” she said, putting her dress, socks, and pajamas in a suitcase and then the luggage on the floor.

You can’t tell me she put her dress, socks, AND pajamas in a suitcase AND then put the luggage on the floor the same time she said “Yes.”  Unless she’s Quicksilver from X-Men, it’s not possible to do all those things during a one-syllable word.

You can fix it like this:

“Yes,” she said, putting her dress in the suitcase. She added her socks and pajamas, and then placed the luggage on the floor.

Some writers say you should try to leave out participial phrases like this altogether, since cognitively it is difficult for the reader to imagine both things happening at once. I’m personally okay with it and don’t think it’s a big deal. They just need to make sense.

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[sleepynervewriting]

How to write dynamic scenes

Here’s how you can inject some dynamics into your scenes where characters may be idling during their conversations! This is my favourite trick to use when I want to round out a scene.

Sometimes you may have a static scene in your book with characters simply sitting and chatting. So how do you make this more interesting?

The answer is to add in some dynamics!

🤔 What does that mean?

Creating dynamics in a scene means that you add some form of repetitive or changing background element throughout the scene to keep it moving, despite it being in the same spot.

For example, if you have a scene set in a restaurant with two characters having dinner, pick out an element from the setting that could create some kind of dynamic, pressure or conflict to your scene.

✍️ In a restaurant this may be:

An annoying cast of waiters circling around and offering refills

A scorching radiator by the side of the table raising temperature and shortening patience levels

A loud party of people in the background who make it difficult for your characters to understand each other

A partner’s phone buzzing on the table every other minute

A character’s personal tendencies - like fidgeting with the table cloth and eventually unthreading it, or coming close to dropping things until they shatter a glass at a high point of the scene

Think of background elements, or ways to externalise the way your characters are feeling in a particular scene can add so much life to a scene!

It also makes it feel more interesting, dynamic, and immersive, even a scene you’re writing is a simple conversation.

Whenever you find your characters having a conversation while they’re simply walking or sitting, think of whether you can externalise any of their emotions or inject some background element to make the scene more interesting!

Did you hear my first book is coming out August 15th? Pre-order it now through the [link here] or below!

[sleepynervewriting]

Writing Tips

Punctuating Dialogue

✧

➸ “This is a sentence.”

➸ “This is a sentence with a dialogue tag at the end,” she said.

➸ “This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a dialogue tag.”

➸ “This is a sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence. New sentences are capitalized.”

➸ “This is a sentence followed by an action.” He stood. “They are separate sentences because he did not speak by standing.”

➸ She said, “Use a comma to introduce dialogue. The quote is capitalized when the dialogue tag is at the beginning.”

➸ “Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote,” he said.

“Unless there is a question mark?” she asked.

“Or an exclamation point!” he answered. “The dialogue tag still remains uncapitalized because it’s not truly the end of the sentence.”

➸ “Periods and commas should be inside closing quotations.”

➸ “Hey!” she shouted, “Sometimes exclamation points are inside quotations.”

However, if it’s not dialogue exclamation points can also be “outside”!

➸ “Does this apply to question marks too?” he asked.

If it’s not dialogue, can question marks be “outside”? (Yes, they can.)

➸ “This applies to dashes too. Inside quotations dashes typically express—“

“Interruption” — but there are situations dashes may be outside.

➸ “You’ll notice that exclamation marks, question marks, and dashes do not have a comma after them. Ellipses don’t have a comma after them either…” she said.

➸ “My teacher said, ‘Use single quotation marks when quoting within dialogue.’”

➸ “Use paragraph breaks to indicate a new speaker,” he said.

“The readers will know it’s someone else speaking.”

➸ “If it’s the same speaker but different paragraph, keep the closing quotation off.

“This shows it’s the same character continuing to speak.”

[sleepynervewriting]

How should I go about describing a character who goes through a lot, becoming more disheveled and desperate as the plot goes on?

Desperation is the emotion that drives characters to their limits, leading to their most intense and extreme behaviours.

By showing how characters become more desperate as your plot progresses, you can create characters that are interesting, dynamic, and relatable.

Here are some ways you can show desperation in your characters. As the plot moves forward, these elements can get worse, showing their decline.

How do they behave?

Obsessive and/or compulsive

Repetitive actions like hand wringing, or overuse of stock phrases

Self-destructive and risk-seeking

Enhanced aggression

Avoidant and isolationist

Manipulative

Exploitative

Short-tempered

Impulsive decision-making

Unrelenting pursuit of something

What physical signs do they show?

Heart palpitations and short, rapid breathing

Sweating profusely

Shaking or trembling

Sudden onset of nausea

Feeling weak or dizzy

Muscle tension

Headaches

Insomnia caused by worry and stress

Feelings of fatigue

Stomach pain and cramping

How do they interact?

Begging or pleading with others

Manipulating others to get what they want

Increasing paranoia and questioning other's motives

Pushing away loved ones

Becoming overly clingy

Either an inability to trust or being too quick to trust others

Self-sabotage

Single-focus conversations

What do they look like?

Unkempt hair and poor hygiene

Rumpled, slept-in clothing

Nervous tics, like fidgeting, pacing, or picking at nails

Extreme and unexplained weight loss

A haunted, faraway, or panicked look

Dark-rimmed, bruised eyes from lack of sleep or exhaustion

A constant sheen of sweat and clammy skin

Unusual clothing choices

What body language do they display?

Hunching over, as if trying to protect themselves

Fidgeting or pacing

Avoiding eye contact

Clenching fists or grinding teeth

Sweating or shaking

Staring intently at something

Repeatedly touching hair or face

Darting eyes and biting lips

Meek and under-confident stance

Pleading look

What is their attitude?

Feeling hopelessness

Sad and dejected

Becoming increasingly irrational

A loss of faith in themselves and others

Obsession to the point of resorting to extreme measures

A sense of helplessness

Blaming others

Feeling powerless

A sense of urgency

What are some positive things that can come out of desperation?

Increased motivation to achieve their goals or solve their problems

Resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity

Heightened creativity and resourcefulness

The ability to form deep and meaningful connections with those who share their struggles

Catharsis or character growth through their struggles

What are some negative things that can come out of desperation?

A tendency to become self-destructive or engage in risky behaviour

Difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships

Increased isolation or loneliness

Chronic stress and physical health problems

A tendency to make impulsive or irrational decisions

Prone to depression and anxiety