#could it be entirely vegetarian?

[fattributes]

What kind of lasagna are we going to get? Are there any ingredients I should have left out or considered instead? Do you think the final results will resemble a real dish? Let me hear your predictions!

[unabletomakedecisions]

I think I need to add The Flesh to a list of my possible alignments...

Yesterday, my lab partner and I dissected a rat in class, and before going to sleep I thought about how *I* would be dissected (humans are not so dissimilar to rats) and traced out the lines where each slice would be on my body.

This isn't the Flesh part (although it is very Flesh).

No, the Flesh part was when I imagined looking at a section of the flesh at my neck, open in plain view from the incision, and kinda wanted to eat it. Despite the meat being both imaginary and me.

Come to think of it, I have also wanted to bite people and/or myself in the past (non-aggressively).

Meat!

We are all just meat.

[frecht]

got such a strong craving for this one restaurant that i nearly posted its name an doxxed myself

[abstract-ornithology]

One time I was going to try to cut back on my meat consumption (I’ve temporarily given up because I’m still living with my parents so I don’t fully control my diet) and then I realized that 2/3 of my food is already vegetarian because I don’t like the texture of meat fat. You can find lots of great vegetarian meals if you think about what protein you /are/ using and look for recipes based on that rather than focusing on the lack of meat. For example,

There are lots of Indian dishes that just happen to be vegetarian, for example bean/chickpea curries can be really good

I decided to learn how to cook some tofu dishes a while ago and only fully realized that I’d unlocked a new non-meat protein afterwards because I’d been more focused on the fact that I’d never tried tofu

good old mac n’ cheese! And grilled cheese sandwiches! the most S tier comfort foods

I’m sure I could come up with more examples but those are what immediately came to mind

Part of the reason I try to make good vegetarian food even though I’m not vegetarian is because of the one week my dad was convinced he was gonna go vegan.

You know what he made for dinner that whole week? Steamed vegetables, rice, and canned beans. All unseasoned. Technically a nutritionally complete meal. It tasted awful.

How could a man usually so good at cooking forget literally all of that when faced with the possibility of making vegan food?

I thought there had to be a better way. And it turns out there is. Vegetarian food doesn’t taste bad. Cartoons that depict vegetarians eating a singular leaf for a meal have ruined us. A lot of stuff that meat eaters eat in everyday life is technically vegetarian or easily made vegetarian. Why when faced with one restriction do so many people forget every single egg sandwich or apple pie they’ve ever eaten?

[bucketofpaint]

Danny is Damian's clone.

He's well aware of it. He wasn't just any clone. He was the very first. That was the difference between Danny and other clones. He was made before the League started using brainwashing and stuff into their cloning process.

When Danny was fresh out of the tube, the League had sat him down and explained his the purpose of his existence, gave him some intense training, and immediately tossed him out into the world.

But the thing was, he just didn't care. He had absolutely no loyalty to his creators, and he had no desire to kill/kidnap his original. So he just started walking. The next thing he knew, he was at some orphanage in Illinois.

And then the rest was history. He got adopted by a pair of enthusiastic scientists and their red-head daughter, got his own name, and he could finally start living his own life.

Danny had put the past behind him and had barely even thought about it at all for a long time. That was unill his original showed up at his school.

----------------

Damien was annoyed. He was stuck at some random Illinois town (supposed to be the most haunted place in the world, which was a bunch of ludicrous.) On a transfer program. He tried convincing Father how illogical it would be, but Father had told him it would be good for him to meet new people.

___

Danny was annoyed.

"I don't understand what the big deal about him is anyways," Danny complained.

"He started being the ceo of Wayne Enterprise when he was a teenager." Sam countered.

"Ok, so, nepotism."

Sam rolled her eyes. "I still don't understand why you're so against him."

"One, billionaire. Two, Tucker is way cooler than Tim Drake.

Sam's eyes soften. " Tucker is just gone for a few weeks."

Danny's cheeks felt warm. "I never said anything about that. I just want Tucker to find a cooler role model, is all.

Sam gave him an all-knowing look. "Well, if you say so. I'm going to get in line."

Sam, all ways waited last to get in the lunch line. Claiming she didn't want to hold up line when the lunch ladies had to get the vegetarian option. Which was fine, but now that Tucker was doing the dumb transfer student program, all he could do was eat his mediocre lunch and mindlessly play on his phone.

Untill someone grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the cafeteria into the hallway. Danny turned around to face the person. He froze at the sight of his own face. Or well, a glaring rich kid version.

"Oh, it's you." Danny said nonchalant, even though he was screaming inside.

"You're not going to play dumb, clone?"

"No, why would I, The resemblance is uncanny.

"What are you doing here?" His original demanded

"You dragged me here."

His original scowled. "You know what I mean, clone. I won't hesitate to end you."

"Just trying to go to school, honest."

Original glared at him, scanning him with his eyes. The grip on Danny's arm loosened. " I'll be watching you, clone."

" Whatever you say, template."

Danny walked back to the cafeteria, blocking out the yells of rage behind him.

___

It was about a week of Damian watching his clone, and he was confused. At first, he thought the league sent the clone to trade places with him before he went back to Gotham, but now he wasn't sure. The Clone seemed to fit in the community to well to have show up recently, but that didn't disprove the theory entirely. It could be a long-term plan from the League. They could be responsible for putting the transfer program in place in the first place.

The other theory was that the clone escaped and made a life for himself, but that didn't explain how he got past his programming.

After the last period, Damian found his clone and pulled him aside.

"What do you want?" His clone asked, irritated.

"You're different then other clones, explain."

"I don't know. I didn't really stick around very long to find out."

"What about your programming?"

"I didn't have any?"

Damian thought about it before giving a small nod. "You don't seem to be a threat, but I'll still keep my eye on you, clone."

"I've got a name, you know." He held out his hand. "Danny Fenton, nice to make your acquaintance."

Damian heistently shook his hand. "Damian Wayne."

That started their unsaid agreement. You don't mess with me, I don’t mess with you. They interacted with each other sometimes, but not very offen. They were impartial to one another, and both sides weren't very keen on getting to know each other. And that was their relationship till the day Damian was leaving.

Damian was waiting for the bus when Danny approached him.

"What do you want, Daniel?"

"I told not to call me that, but uh, here." Danny handed a piece of paper to him. "It's my phone number if you ever need help from the League or anything."

Damian slipped the paper into his pocket. "Give me your phone." Danny handed over his phone, and Damian started typing.

"What are you doing?" Danny asked.

"I'm putting my number in. If you ever require assistance."

Danny smiled, "Thanks."

____

A few months later.

Tim was peeking over a corner.

"What are you doing?" Dick asked.

Tim didn't say anything and just waved him over. He walked over and stared in aw at what he saw. Damian was slouched on the couch, his hair messy, playing on his phone.

A few minutes later, Jason joined.

"Am I hallucinating?" Tim whispered.

"Nah, I don't think so... unless we're all hallucinating." Jason whispered back.

"Do you think he has brain damage or been possessed or something?" Tim asked.

Dick shook his head. "That seems unlikely."

"This is so trippy. I've never seen him wear anything that casually like ever.

"What are you imbeciles doing?"

"We're watching Damian."

All three of them froze and turned to look at a glaring Damian.

Damian walked past them and went right up to the second Damian.

"Daniel, what are you doing here?"

The causal Damian 'Daniel' pulled out a letter. "Your pops invited me, and I didn’t want to risk the chance of batman showing up at my front door."

Damian scoffed, "Of course, Father found out."

Alfred walked in. "Master Daniel, I'll be taking you to Master Bruce."

The double got up and went to Alfred.

"Cookie, Master Daniel?"

"Sure, and call me danny."

[beetlebip]

I haven’t talked enough about how burdening it is to be intolerant to 90% of milks

[timmydraker]

CW: animal death, very graphic

Damian was having a panic attack and literally everyone was off planet or unavailable except for Tim.

Tim, who just the night before considered pushing Damian off a building because he called his boat house idea stupid.

Damian, who was seemingly not as unshakable as he thought and broke down into panicking breathes at the sight of-…

Oh.

The slight light enhancing his domino granted showed Tim a bundled of small, probably premature puppies that didn’t even have any fur on them. There was no mum in sight, just six dead little pups left on the dirty concrete of an ally way.

Tim might be an asshole, but even he was hurt by dead animals, but Damian?

Ignoring the obvious distress at seeing his bratty younger brother clutching at his chest like he was having a heart attack, Tim moved to be in front of him and block his view of the small pink forms.

He put steady hands on the you gets shoulders slowly, telegraphing his moves as best he could, and gently spoke to the Robin.

“Robin, I need you to try focus on my voice, okay? You’re going to be okay, I promise, just breathe with me.”

Training and experience of helping survivors of assault and Rouges quickly took over and luckily Damian seemed to be able to attempt to do as he was instructed. His breaths were shaky and interrupted by hiccups and gasps for air, but they weren’t as sporadic as before.

Tim watched tears slip out from under his mask, messing up the adhesive, and promptly cupped his face gently, “It’s alright, Damian. I know it’s scary, it’s hard to see, but there’s nothing we can do now, okay? You know how this goes.”

Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to say, but it was all he could think of.

Damian shook his head, as if trying to change the reality of the situation, “I-I don’t- please don’t, I can’t-“

Tim’s heart felt like it was shattering as he heard Damian beg. Actually, really beg.

It was the first time he’d ever tried to hug Damian and luckily the boy didn’t fight it, falling into Tim’s embrace and clutching at his cap like a life line.

The detective in Tim had a suspicion though, because why was Damian begging? He was raised by death, he knew how it work, so was the loss of animal life enough for him to defy those teachings?

It didn’t seem right, even for Damian.

“Dami? Talk to me, what’s going on in that head of yours? Let me help, please.”

Damian hiccuped and buried his face in Tim’s chest, hiding from the world.

The next words he spoke made Tim feel sick, so much so he actually had to fight the violent urge to gag as the implications and reality of what really caused Damian’s panicking attack set in.

“Please don’t make me eat them.”

Tim knew the League were masters of torture and torment, but…

Picking up his little brother, Tim held him close as he walked him the nine blocks to their respective rides and mutter assurances the entire way. Promising his brother that he would never have to eat an animal again, ignoring that realisation of his vegetarianism, and told him that he would come back later and bury the little pups himself.

Damian didn’t let go of him and the two eventually fell asleep in uniform in Tim’s bed.

Tim took over removing the pink marshmallows before Damian had to do it himself.

[rifari2037]

They talked about cultural differences?? Really??? I laughed so hard 🤣

Do they realised that air and water are different too?? That their cultural are completely opposite???

Water tribe people killed animals for food, furniture, clothes, etc. That's their culture! Air nomads don't killed animals, even a fly, for any reasons, they're vegetarian. That's their culture!!

There's nothing wrong with both cultures, but if we think about it with sense, can two people with extreme cultural differences marry and accept each other's cultures easily?

No, it won't be easy. Katara and Aang got married without any problems about cultural differences because Bryke were the writers!

Do they know that Aang/Kataang stand was aware about it and wrote this???

Do they even realise that in canon Aang doesn't really like Water Tribe culture?? Yes, that's CANON!!

Katara : Bato, it looks like home! [Bato, Katara, Sokka, and Aang file inside.] Sokka : Everything's here, even the pelts! Aang : [Sarcastically.] Yeah, nothing's cozier than dead animal skins.

Katara : [Surprised and delighted.] No way! Stewed sea prunes! Bato : Help yourself! Sokka : Dad could eat a whole barrel of these things! Aang takes a bowl of stewed sea prunes and sniffs it, but looks away in disgust and sets it to the side.

Aang : Hey everyone! Sorry I was gone so long. Katara : [Turns to face him.] Hey, Aang, I didn't notice you left. Aang : Yup, but now I'm back. [Sitting down.] Sure could go for some delicious sea prunes! Aang quickly takes some bites of sea prunes, but chokes them back up, yet he pretends to enjoy them. Katara, Bato, and Sokka look at him strangely.

Hama : I wanted to surprise you! I bought all this food today so I could fix you a big Water Tribe dinner. Of course, I can't get all the ingredients I need here, but ocean kumquats are a lot like sea prunes if you stew them long enough. Aang : [Sticking his tongue out in disgust.] Great!

Aang : [Whispering to Toph.] I'd steer clear of the sea prunes. Toph : I thought they were ocean kumquats. Aang : Close enough.

Oh, btw, An ocean kumquat is a small, round fruit often consumed in the Fire Nation. That's close enough with sea prunes, water tribe cuisine.

When Aang doesn't like water tribe cuisine, I can imagine Zuko and Katara having dinner, sharing water tribe and fire nation dishes and they enjoying it because it taste similar. 😂

Fire and water are the opposite elements, that's why they are compliment each other.

Yin and Yang shows a balance between two opposites with a portion of the opposite element in each section.

Remember what Iroh said about the elements? Let's see if fire and water don't mix together, especially for Zuko and Katara.

"Fire is the element of power..."

"...The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want."

"Water is the element of change..."

"...The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many things..."

"...They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything."

Young Zuko : [Zuko is shown standing up.] You can't sacrifice an entire division like that! Those soldiers love and defend our nation! How can you betray them?

Zuko and Katara would bicker and not get along well, they said?? Really??

Every time Katara is mad, Zuko just silent and listen to her. Even when they're still enemies!!

Oh, btw, Katara not 'always' threatened Zuko to kill him if he hurt Aang. It happened once. She is still mad at him not because of Aang, but because he betrayed her.

That's personal to her, she is mad not because he hurt someone else but he hurt her. I mean, if she really mad at him because of Aang, why is she connected her anger at Zuko to her mom, not Aang (again)?

And after this moment, after Katara by her own choice, forgives Zuko, do Zuko and Katara always bickering and not get along at all??? No, they're not!!

Zuko gives Katara advice, Katara listens. Katara gives Zuko advice, Zuko listens.

They reassure each other at a very important moment.

Lastly, I don't understand how Zuko and Katara, who they said would never get along, always save each other lives, even Zuko sacrifice his life to her?

[najia-cooks]

[ID: A group of pastry pinwheels on a blue plate next to a bowl of yoghurt garnished with parsley. End ID]

صفيحة يافاوية / Safiha yafawiyya (Yaffan pinwheels)

The dish

صَفِيحَة يَافَاوِيَّة ("ṣafīḥa yāfāwīyya") is a type of safiha, or flatbread, believed to have originated in the coastal city of يافا (yāfā; "Yaffa," sometimes "Jaffa"). While other versions of safiha consist of a flat piece of dough topped with meat, Yaffan safiha are made by rolling dough out to a transparent thinness, folding it to enclose a filling of meat or spinach, and then whirling it around into a pinwheel shape. More highly valued in Yaffa than flat safiha, Yaffan safiha inspires proprietary feelings amongst residents and emigrants. The technique has, however, spread to other areas in Palestine, as well as to Alexandria, Egypt, where a large number of Yaffan exiles have resettled.

Yaffan safiha may also be called "حواية" ("ḥawāya"), after a kind of towel that is stitched into a spiral and placed on top of the head to cushion it while carrying jugs of water, or trays that are hot from the oven. One Yaffan woman remembers her mother assembling these pastries at home and then bringing them, in a large copper tray, to the baker, so they could be cooked in a shared oven for a small fee. The baker's wife would have to wait to use the oven another day. The usage of communal ovens by those who do not have an oven in their home is still common practice in rural areas of Palestine.

Traditionally, the dough used to make Yaffan safiha includes only flour, salt, oil, and water. Some modern Palestinian recipes leaven the dough with baking powder; or include milk powder as a way to use food aid from NGOs, which seek to alleviate the effects of the Israeli occupation's extreme restriction of transport, travel, and agricultural activities on Palestinians' diets. With a spinach filling and without milk powder, the safa'ih may be described as "صيامي" ("ṣiyāmī): a word derived from "صِيَام" ("ṣiyām"; "fast") but which, due to the abstention from meat mandated during the Lenten fast, is colloquially used to mean "vegetarian."

Golden brown and fragrant with olive oil, these safa'ih combine layers of crisp, flaky dough with a savory, well-spiced filling. Recipes for both a 'meat' and a spinach filling are provided. A side of yoghurt and a garnish of mint round out the flavors of the filling and add tanginess and textural contrast.

[ID: Close-up of two pinwheels cut open to reveal a spinach filling and a 'meat' filling between thin layers of pastry. End ID]

The Bride of Palestine

Yaffa is a port city with an ancient history which, until the 20th century, was the largest Arab city in, and the cultural and economic capital of, Palestine. For this reason it has sometimes been called عروس" "فلسطين ("'arūs filasṭīn"); "The Bride of Palestine." With the 1909 founding of the nearby Tel Aviv, Yaffa began to be considered its "twin" or "sister" ("האחיות") city; it had a distinctly Arab character where Tel Aviv was almost entirely Jewish. Yaffa was thus considered in disctinctly racialized terms: both attraction and threat; a source of authentic rootedness in the land which could be tapped, but also a potentially contagious bastion of Oriental "weak[ness]" ("חליש").

Yaffa had been a popular destination for culinary tourism in Mandate Palestine, with young settlers heading to the seaside to escape from religious studies and religious dietary restrictions—associated with diaspora Judaism and a lack of connection to a homeland—and to eat earthier Arab foods such as hummus, falafel, kebab, and ful.

In 1948, Zionist paramilitary organization Irgun dropped several tons of British bombs on major civilian areas of Yaffa in order to overwhelm resistance and empty the city of its Arab population; they destroyed the much of the Old City in the process. The neighborhood of المنشية (Manshiya) was destroyed shortly thereafter. Beginning in December of 1948, Yaffa was, part by part, annexed to Tel Aviv.

Today, despite the annexation and the Hebraization of the street signs, Yaffa maintains an Arab character in popular discourse. The call to prayer is heard in the streets, and the أبو العافي (Abulafia) bakery and أبو حسن (Abu Hassan) hummus restaurant and remain where they have been since the 1760s and 1970s, respectively. But increasing gentrification, rising rent prices, cafes and restaurants which cater to tourists and settlers, and the construction of Jewish-only residential projects threaten to continue the ethnic cleansing of the ancient city.

Yaffan Cuisine

Israeli occupation has tended to collapse some of the regional distinctions within Palestinian cuisine, as Palestinians are forced into exile or else crowded into Gaza and into smaller and smaller enclaves within the West Bank. Some dishes, however, still have variations that are associated with particular cities. Stuffed red carrots (محشي الجزر الأحمر; "maḥshi al-jazar al-'aḥmar"), cored and filled with rice and spiced meat, are a dish common throughout Palestine but cooked differently everywhere: in a sauce of lemon juice, pomegranate molasses, and red tahina in Gaza; in tamarind paste in Al-Quds and Ramallah; and in orange juice in the orange-rich Yaffa region. Abu Hassan restaurant serves مسبحة (msabbaha), a Yaffan classic in which chickpeas and tahina are mixed with green chili pepper, and lemon juice.

Donate to an evacuation fund

Buy an eSim for use in Gaza

Help Anera provide food in Gaza

Ingredients:

For the dough (makes 32):

500g flour (4 cups + 1 Tbsp)

1 tsp table salt

2 Tbsp olive oil

Enough water to form a soft, tacky dough (about 1 3/4 cup / 500mL)

For the meat filling (makes 16):

125g vegetarian ground beef (as a substitute for minced lamb)

1 small yellow onion, minced

1 Tbsp olive oil

1/2 tsp ground allspice

1/2 tsp ground black pepper

1/2 tsp ground cardamom

1/2 tsp table salt, or to taste

1/2 Tbsp ground sumac

1/2 Tbsp pomegranate molasses (optional)

For the spinach filling (makes 16):

500g spinach, washed and chopped

1 tsp kosher salt, for removing water

1 small yellow onion, minced

1 Tbsp olive oil

1/4 tsp ground black pepper

1/4 tsp table salt, or to taste

Squeeze of lemon juice

1 tsp shatta (hot red pepper paste)

1/2 Tbsp pomegranate molasses (optional)

Some recipes include sumac in the spinach filling, but this is not considered traditional.

Instructions:

For the dough:

1. Measure dry ingredients into a large mixing bowl. Add oil and mix briefly. Add water, a little at a time, until the dough comes together into a slightly tacky ball. Knead for five minutes, until smooth and elastic.

2. Divide dough into 16 balls of about 50g each. Roll it out into a cylinder and cut it in half repeatedly; or weigh the dough using a kitchen scale and divide by 16.

3. Pour some olive oil in a tray or baking sheet and coat each dough ball. Leave them on the tray, covered, to rest while you prepare the fillings.

For the meat filling:

1. Heat 1 Tbsp olive oil on medium-high. Add meat and fry, stirring often, until nearly cooked through.

2. Add onions, salt, and spices and fry until onion is translucent.

3. Remove from heat. Stir in sumac and pomegranate molasses. Taste and adjust. Let cool.

For the spinach filling:

1. Mix spinach with salt and let sit 10-15 minutes. Squeeze to remove excess water.

2. Heat 1 Tbsp olive oil in medium-high. Fry onion, salt, and pepper for a minute until translucent.

3. Combine all ingredients. Taste and adjust salt.

To assemble:

1. Oil a clean work surface, as well as your hands. Spread a dough ball out into a very thin, translucent circle by repeatedly patting with your fingers while pushing outwards. Be sure to push outwards from the center so that the circle does not become too thin at the edges. A few small holes are okay, since the dough will be folded and rolled in on itself.

2. Cut the circle in half with a sharp knife. Spread 1/16 of either filling in a thin line along the cut edge, leaving a margin of 1 cm (1/2") or so.

3. Roll the edge of the dough (the cut edge) over to encase the filling. Continue rolling, trying as much as possible to exclude air, until you have a long rope of dough.

4. Roll the rope around in a tight spiral. Tuck the very end of the dough underneath and press to seal. Place on a preparing baking sheet.

5. Repeat until the filling and dough are used up. Meanwhile, preheat an oven to 375 °F (190 °C). Bake the safiha in the top third of the oven for 25-30 minutes, or until golden in color. 

Serve warm with yoghurt.

[jayrockin]

With tube plants, I’m really curious if any are edible, and if so what’re they like, and how avian culture sees them. While Taxonomically they’re animals, does avian culture consider them plants? For a random example, let’s say the avians, like us, had a religious period where they can’t eat meat. Would worm plants be considered off limits, or the same as anything else? Not saying that religion or whatever exists, it’s just the first frame of reference I could think of. Another example might be how fungi are considered vegetables, but are an entirely different kingdom.

As for eating, I’m curious if they have a more meat-like texture and taste, or a more plant-like one. I’m assuming the former. If they’re eaten, what are the parts that are eaten and how are they usually prepared? Do the avians have any traditions or culture regarding the tube, like we do with wishbone breaking or bone carving? Is it possible to farm them, and are they?

Avian cultures usually classify plantworms in the same group of food as shellfish, which they resemble the most nutritionally. They are more like a clam than a plant. Many are toxic as a defense against being eaten, but the ones avians can consume are usually cooked whole (in or out of shell) unless a specific body part is unpalatable (usually the gut or frond tentacles). For larger worms, they may be trimmed down to the tastiest part, the retractor muscle. It's very possible to farm them, and many are also cultivated for their beauty as landscaping plants. Their tubes are most commonly used to make plaster for building, or beads.

Vegetarianism is overall more rare in avian cultures than ours because they have a higher calorie-per-pound requirement than humans and many live on small islands where grain agriculture is more difficult to live off exclusively than fishing. There are several grades of culturally distinct pescetarian diets in modern avian cultures though, some of which view eating large "vertebrates" as unacceptable, land animals as unacceptable, vertebrates in general as unacceptable, only plantworms are acceptable, or hardline only plant matter and eggs (which may or may not include plant worm "leaves and flowers"... which can grow back). Hardline vegetarianism or veganism is more common among flightless avian cultures, who historically have had the most arable land.

[willsolace-loml]

marauders as things my friends and i have said pt2

james: i headcanon u as bisexual

remus: wut????? how did u guess my canon, it hasnt been stated yet???

•

pandora: raccoons are almost cats!

•

marlene: *talking abt the quidditch uniform* if i wear that ur going to see my entire coochie

•

sirius: peter is the king of the water fairies

•

prefect remus: *to lockheart* hey willy wonka! schools started, get the hell to class!

•

sirius: *whispering* oral sex

•

peter: i shall not be getting involved in controversial business

mary: preach brother

•

mary: *over text* im in london being a slut and a god

•

lily & mary: *lights off, looking into a mirror, with a candle* slut, slut, slut, slut, slut, slut

barty: *walks through the door*

sirius: ITS HERE!

•

peter: *humming titanium in class*

minnie: pls stop humming and singing and other things that make u sound happy

•

lily: *talking abt muggle churches* for instance, i could be presbyterian-

sirius: ur vegetarian??

remus: *jewish* do those ones like jesus or no??

•

sirius: *walking by the slytherins table* hey sigmas

•

lily: *walking up behind mary, low voice* hey little mama, where my hug at?

•

enjoy!!!!!!!

[vinnellamadz]

Random Adam Headcanons

Some of these are dating headcanons some of them are just stupid LMAO, my bff helped me with these

once you and Adam get together you start to wonder how in the world he was still alive.

Adams the type of guy to not be able to use a washing machine by himself,

'Is this enough detergent babe?' It's half the entire bottle like save him from himself

If you’re a vegetarian he definitely mixes it up with vegan,

“What the fuck babe, you know you’re a vegetable! You can’t eat cheese!”

Adam can’t handle spice, he calls ketchup spicy.

Adam has a phone he just never uses it unless it’s to look at stupid memes (YouTube shorts) otherwise he doesn’t know how to use one.

Every time he finds something funny (which is almost all the time) he shoves his phone in your face hoping you’d find it funny too.

Adams the type of guy who has to use a calculator to find out what 10 times 0 is.

He’d probably eat food that supposed to be eaten with a fork with his hands,

Like spaghetti

Sometimes he’ll seem desperate to ask you something, acting as though it was urgent before asking you “what’s for dinner”

Honestly I can see him whipping out the theatrics to ask that, 🙄 full on spotlight and on his knees.

He has night terrors but we’re not going to talk about that.

He goes INSANE when another man approaches you, but this barely happens because Adam is glued to you almost 24/7.

During movie nights he either talks throughout the entire movie or falls asleep 10 minutes in there’s no other alternative.

Unless it’s frozen his eyes are glued to the tv.

@lunasong84 helped me with most of these,I could not have done this without her🥺

[yanderenightmare]

who's the worst bnha yandere? in your opinion

Shigaraki Tomura x darling

TW: NSFW, noncon/dubcon, f!reader, Shiggy being gross

fem reader

It’s easily Tomura.

Tomura because he doesn’t care about the most basic of human needs. 

Forgets to feed you. And when he does – it’s always some half-eaten burger, sub or burrito. He doesn’t give two shit if you’re vegan or vegetarian. Shit – he doesn’t even care if you’re allergic. If you don’t want it, you can starve.

Doesn’t give you clothes. He rarely bothers getting himself new clothes, do you think he’s gonna do you any better? No. Wear his dandruff-riddled, old-sweat-seeped hoodie – or wear nothing.

Something else you miss is proper housing – even if it’s just a room with a bed and a toilet. You’ve learned that even that is too much to ask for.

You never stay in the same place for long – needing to switch bases regularly in order to remain low. Never anything he’ll have to pay for, of course – a pick of the litter abandoned office buildings, hotels, and empty homes. 

If you’re lucky enough to find a place with running water, you stay longer. If not, you’ll have to make do for a couple of days – worst case was a little over a week. You still shudder thinking about it. 

He’ll keep you in any room he can lock from the outside – only sometimes blessing you with an actual mattress and not some old moldy sofa or a thin blanket on cold floors.

One time, you stayed in some old mansion one of the league members had found. You suspect they killed whoever lived there before – seeing as the entire house was properly furnished and clean when you all infested the place. 

Not that you got to explore much – Tomura kept you locked in the master bedroom on the third floor – the one where you most definitely would have broken both legs if you tried escaping through the window.

It had been one of the nicer places. One with working hot water and clothes for you to change into – albeit shamefully, sending prayer and thanks to the owner who was no doubt dead and rotting. You were even able to find a stockpile of fresh towels and linens you changed after a week had gone by.

But as the weeks turned to more weeks, they’d all run out – and you began hoping you’d move on to the next place soon. Even with the risk of it being someplace cold and dusty, it would still be a fresher slate.

The nice mansion had gone bad after a month or so – you’d lost track of time. 

Thankfully, you’d been able to air out the dank smell of armpit, ass, and feet – and were allowed to take a shower whenever you weren’t handcuffed to the bed – often able to lure Tomura to join you if only for the sake of washing the stench of decay, dandruff and dickcheese off him. 

But even so, Tomura isn't the most hygienic type. Managing keeping him halfway decent was troubling enough. 

It’s way tougher to keep the room tidy with Tomura’s ill habits of keeping half-eaten food lying around – empty cup noodles and other street junk, beer bottles, and sour energy drinks – along with bloody piles of worn-out clothes, dirty holey underwear, and soggy condoms.

You were driven to the point of disgust that you’d asked him whether he could do you the simple favor of finding and bringing you the house cleaning supplies so you could wash the place yourself.

Oh… how funny he’d found that little comment... 

“Too filthy in ‘ere for yah, is it? Too gross for the pretty princess?”

It hadn’t been the first time he’d made you lick the floor. Face down, ass up – with his bare foot placed heavy and clammy against your teary cheek – two of his fingers stuffing your cunt, and the other two inside your ass – while he sits at the edge of the bed, spitefully stroking his hard dick to the degrading view.

“Tch – such a filthy bitch, and you complain about the scenery?” He sneers – pumping both your holes. “Didn’t know I was fuckin’ such a spoiled cunt.”

You cry at the crass stretch his digits make – but you know better than to fight him when he’s pissed. You only regret forgetting how it’s never been a good idea for you to do much of anything other than nod your head and smile pliantly – open your mouth wide for his tongue, spit, cock, and cum or otherwise keep it shut.

Per request, you keep it open wide, tongue out on the hardwood floor – tasting the grouts of lint and dirt and God knows what – stale and salty on your tastebuds. Or maybe it was the tears gushing from your eyes – soaking your face where you sobbed.

“Tch – shut up.” A hand replaces the foot on your face – dragging you up with a fist in your hair. Pulling his fingers from your holes with a sloppy shlick – before promptly pushing all four digits inside your mouth. “If you wanna clean somethin’ – you can start with this slutty mess.”

You gag at the threat as he shoves all but his thumb down your throat – wiping off your slick, then giving your face a mean slap with the same, now spit-coated, hand – before pulling you up from the floor by your hair and ushering you onto his lap to straddle him.

He wipes the rest of your drool off on his erect cock – standing proudly with a thick flow of creamy pre leaking from his slit.

He doesn’t waste much time before lining up with your puffy pussy-lipped hole and making you sink down on him.

You croak at him going in raw – always feeling extra violated without the thin rubber protecting you from catching his germs as he pushes all his veiny girth inside you until giving your womb a cummy kiss. 

“What’s the problem, slut? Don’t like riding dirty dick?” He huffs, starting to rut against you in no clean tempo. He snickers at your grimace, still holding your hair in a tight pull as he angles your face to his to kiss your tight-lined lips – feeling you cringe even more. “Don’t worry. I’ll let you clean it after I fill this and the other hole up with filth.”

You whimper at the dark promise – and he wipes his tongue across your sorry expression from chin to temple.

“I’ll do you up nice and nasty – so you won’t feel so out of place anymore~”

[mokulule]

Dead on MAYn Day 1 - still untitled.

Prompts used: Dinner interrupted by a rogue/gang fight, courting rituals.

This thing keeps growing so I figured I should just post the first part. It will be continued eventually it’s kinda going places I didn’t expect. I am also using the flickering prompt, but it doesn’t appear in this first part.

Danny dug into his burger with gusto. It was not Nasty Burger, but it was greasy and cheesy and juicy and definitely hit the spot after a whole day walking about Gotham taking in the supernatural sights.

Sam was entirely less impressed with the vegetarian option and had set it down with a grimace and was now just picking at her fries. Tucker had taken it as a personal win for the Meat Team™ and was lording it over her with his eyebrows - thankfully he was too busy eating to actually say anything, which Danny was very glad of. You could only hear the same arguments so many times. At least age and maturity had assured they didn’t end their friendship over it.

“So,” Sam said, “What’s next after this?”

Danny finished chewing his mouthful, before speaking. “I’m not sure, I figured just go back to the hotel for a bit, chill until nightfall? Gotham’s court won’t be in session until then.”

“Seconded. My feet hurt,” Tucker chimed in.

“Maybe if you didn’t spend all your day sitting in front of a screen all day-”

And they were at it again… Danny tuned them out with the practice of years of being on the sideline, humming in agreement when prompted. He loved his friends dearly, but arguing was a part of their love language that he didn’t feel like participating in.

He let his eyes wander around the small diner, and found himself frowning as a group of men hurried inside.

If Danny had been less used to his ghost sense warning him of trouble, maybe he would have reacted in time - or at all. As it was he found himself frozen in shock when he saw the guns - regular human guns, not ecto-guns, ecto-guns he knew how to react to.

It was strange to realize that nobody had ever pointed a normal gun at him before and someone was pointing a gun at him right now - of course it would be in Gotham he got that experience.

“Hey you, stand up slowly and get over here. Hands where I can see them.”

Oh.

Danny’s brain suddenly caught up to the events.

A group of five armed men had entered the diner waving guns. Three kept their eyes on the door and windows as if they expected someone to follow them. One was moving behind the counter towards the back, maybe looking for the waitress who had skedaddled as soon as the armed men entered and the last one had his gun trained on Danny, who of all people in the diner he’d figured was the best option for a hostage.

Danny resisted the urge to laugh.

Slowly he did as bidden, raising his hands and standing up.

On the surface he wasn’t an unreasonable choice. He was short and lean, if he was completely honest he looked like a stiff wind could blow him over. Sam in contrast looked like trouble and Tucker had grown up annoyingly tall, and if Gotham police was like most places it was probably wiser to pick a white boy as hostage anyways. The rest of the people in the diner were two heavy set construction workers and a lady with arms broader than Danny’s thighs, like damn. 

So yeah, Danny was apparently the best choice. 

Regretfully, he left his dinner to cool on its plate as he took carefully measured steps towards the… what? Mobster? Gang person? 

A part of him was wondering how much a gunshot could hurt him. Would it hurt him? In human form probably, as long as he was tangible. Would it kill him the rest of the way? He wasn’t particularly keen to find out.

His eyes flickered to the other armed men when one of them hissed at the guy at the door. “Do you see him?”

Danny considered doing something for about three steps, but he wasn’t experienced enough with real guns and fighting humans that he thought he could risk it. He’d also prefer to fly under the radar while he was here. He was on vacation, not here to mess with anyone.

There was a familiar feeling in his throat, wanting to be let go. His head snapped towards the kitchen. What! That couldn’t be right?

The man grabbed him and put the gun to his head just as a crash sounded from the kitchen and the wisp of cold breath escaped his mouth. Everyone turned towards the noise. The man who held him tightened his hold and pushed the gun so hard against his head he had to tilt it. 

Something black came flying out the door and the jumpy gunmen shot at it, but with their attention on the object (a pan, it was just a pan) they didn’t notice the man who followed behind. He was fast, not much more than a red brown blur, shooting the furthest man in the arm so he dropped the gun and then coming in close, punching the first man and kicked the next in the belly. He moved so smoothly, effortlessly. 

Danny forgot to breathe. Because that there was the source of his ghost sense. Because that there was also a human.

Another halfa.

Here in Gotham of all places! 

His heart gave a hard thump in his chest and he gasped, remembered breathing was a thing he sorta needed as a human. He still couldn’t take his eyes off the other halfa. Now there was someone who knew how to fight. His core hummed pleasurably in his chest. The other halfa had taken care of those goons in less than ten seconds. The fourth one was probably dealt with in the kitchen. And the fifth-

Danny was abruptly reminded of how the fifth had a gun to his head, as he annoyingly poked him with that barrel and pulled him backwards towards the door.

“Not another step or he gets it!”

Danny grimaced. He finds another halfa and he’s a fucking hostage? Stellar first impression, right there! Someone please shoot him- or wait, considering the situation that was probably not the wisest turn of phrase. 

“How about you let the civilian go, and I won’t break your kneecaps.” The voice was menacing though clearly modulated and there was a delightful, almost cheerful undertone.

Now that he was standing still, Danny could better appreciate him. He was a big man, probably near a head taller than Danny and so much wider. Death had clearly not stopped him from putting on muscle. Normally Danny might have been jealous, but honestly he was too busy appreciating the other halfa. 

He was wearing a red helmet, faceless except for a pair of glaring eyes and he had a large bat symbol across his chest. This last bit should put Danny off. There were very good reasons Danny didn’t want to catch any attention here. He couldn’t think of them right now. But there were… reasons… yes… and thighs walking towards him-

“I swear I will shoot!”

Oh for fuck’s sake! There were too many people involved. Danny promptly stepped down on his captor’s instep, ducked and twisted out of his hold. 

Red Hood, because that was his name, Danny suddenly remembered, promptly shot the gun out of the man’s hold and took him down with a punch and a crunching kick to the right knee. 

Shit, Danny was jealous, not of the broken kneecap of course, but he also wanted to throw down. He could show the other halfa what he could do, make friends, or more? Would it be too forward to gift him one of his moon rocks?

It probably was too forward? This was the first halfa he met who wasn’t a fruit loop or related to him. At least he hoped he wasn’t a fruit loop.

“Are you alright?”

Danny shook himself out of his thoughts to find that he’d been approached.

Now that he was up close Danny could really appreciate how those arms looked strong enough to bend him in half and- Danny’s gaze stopped at his waist. Was he actually wearing a leather corset? It did great things for his-

“That was either brave or stupid.”

The words had Danny’s eyes snapping back up to the glaring helmet. Danny was frozen. How was he supposed to talk to him? His mind reeled. Do something! Anything!

“How’s this for stupid?” Danny blurted and promptly punched him in the gut with a good deal of ghostly strength. Red Hood bent over with a pained oof.

Fuck! Danny’s brain screamed at him in despair. He could not believe he’d done that! Glancing around he couldn’t find Sam or Tucker so he quickly ran out the diner. 

He was grabbing for his phone in his pocket while running, when he was pulled into an alley. He was so wound up he nearly threw another punch, but then he realized it was just Sam and Tucker.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Danny!” They spoke in eerie unison. Tucker snorted, but Sam continued, “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

Danny shook his head, realizing he must look a little dazed. He felt a little dazed. He didn’t even feel like taking the obvious bait.

“I punched Red Hood,” he admitted.

“What!” There they went again I unison, almost as if they practiced it.

“Do you think he’d like a moon rock?”

The looks they sent him then, they were indescribable. Absently he padded his shoulder to make sure he hadn’t grown a second head.

“Are you sick, Danny? Was there something in the food?” Sam put her hand on his forehead checking his temperature, even as she looked at Tucker, “What are the chances there’d be blood blossoms in a random burger?”

“Extremely unlikely, more likely something new, never seen Danny react like this.”

Danny grumpily pushed Sam’s hand away. “The food was fine. I’m fine.”

They gave him twin dubious looks.

“Look, let’s just go back to the hotel room. I just need a little rest and I’ll be fine.”

-

Jason gasped in pain to the sound of laughter in his comms. What the Hell was in that guy’s food that he could throw such a punch?

“What did he did the little guy do, Hood? Kick you in the jewels?” Dick managed to ask through laughter.

They didn’t have visuals, small mercies, but Oracle the traitor had let on to the former hostage’s scrappy stature in the run down of the situation.

“He did not.” Jason growled and turned off the comms, done listening to those idiots. Shit, fuck. Definitely a meta, that had been super strength. Keeping one hand over his pained abdomen he walked over to kick the goon who had decided to crawl for his gun in Red Hood’s apparent distraction.

“Don’t even think about it, I am not in the mood for it,” he growled and the goon whimpered.

When he finished securing the goons, of course the meta was long gone. Jason sighed in annoyance. Just his luck.

[threebooksoneplot]

what draws you both to jalice/makes you so feral about them as a ship?

you should know we had an entire meeting in order to answer this ask. no this could NOT have been an email (unlike new moon) ���

Secretary G took notes. they are as follows (read the bolded parts for a tl;dr)

we kind of see it as though jalice got the traits that edbella weren’t allowed to have, either due to their status as protagonists or because smeyer's mormon background causes her to view these qualities as too sinful/negative for her wholesome Waiting Until Marriage main couple. (examples: alice's materialistic, "shallow," hyperfeminine qualities, her character flaws (especially her manipulativeness), and jasper's aura and history of fucked up violence closer to what you'd find in traditional vampire stories/horror/adult gothics/books not written by a mormon author)

in terms of how much screentime the non-main-love-triangle canon couples get, their relationship is kiiiinda given the next-most weight to edbella’s (examples: jasper's extreme overprotectiveness, the New Moon chapter 19 moment where alice prioritizes jasper and bella is like “yeah I get it, I would do the same.”) basically smeyer gives jalice's relationship a lot of the qualities she finds romantic/ideal, (and which are either similarly romantic to us or entertainingly toxic/a good source of drama), presumably because alice is like her 4th-favorite character after the main love triangle and she wants nice things for her

we both really love how, superficially, as presented in the books, jasper and alice seem to have this almost “courtly love” that smeyer has described as "spiritual." yet when you look closer, their relationship has so many darker undertones—the deep codependency bordering on obsessiveness (mutual, but especially the way it manifests on jasper's end—"I will kill this random teen girl who witnessed edward's jean valjean moment™ because any means are justifiable when the ends are Protecting Alice"), the dark sides of both of their powers, the idea that jasper is only a cullen and/or only a vegetarian for alice's sake, etc. hell, even the fact that they're the only Cullen couple who we know had (gasp) premarital sex 😏 (I mean we assume rosemmett did too, but alas, they don't have that hilarious "carlisle convinced jasper and alice to get married" quote from smeyer)

partially summarized: "jasper’s general desperate willingness to sell everyone to satan for one corn chip if it keeps alice safe (carlisle: I know this and I love you)"

we're forever smug that the movies gave us even more jalice screentime (especially remarkable in such a protagonist-centric universe), including jasper being in the same grade as alice/bella/edward, and the extra jalice kisses in Eclipse and BD 🥺

what we wrote down as the “who’s protecting whom" phenomenon, as coined by G in this old ask. (shannon: "jasper is the toddler you've given the PS2 controller that's not plugged in")

we also like the characters individually. jasper is for the girlies with competency kinks—a stoic caretaker who speaks little and mostly expresses himself via acts of service. we also both love the way in which he needs protection from his own uncontrolled violence (slipping up and killing humans, suffering the pain and fear he inflicts, etc.) he is, in the words of our beloved @liceparade, the "line cook trauma boyfriend"

“It’s hot when there’s a fictional violent man who wet babygirl 😌” —shannon

and alice, unlike bella, genuinely loves being spoiled and bossing people around. she's brat-coded, she's confident and secure in who she is, her god complex ("I'm close enough [to omniscient]") causes fascinating conflict, bella eats drywall from sheer horniness at her merest movement, she dresses like a slut in the Mormon YA Novels and yet somehow escapes authorial condemnation, she has a sickass gothic heroine backstory, she's "annoying," aro started a whole war over her (eat shit helen of troy 🖕), she spaces out in public and has to be led around by jasper, she's one of the most powerful vampires in the world, she's in high school getting a C+ on her precalc test 💅🏻

it's appealing that smeyer frequently puts alice in the center of the series' various conflicts (james' singer and "one that got away," the accidental cause of all the drama at the end of new moon, one of aro's secret True motives for starting the conflict in BD.) this is mostly as a consequence of smeyer using alice as a plot device and/or deus ex machina, but it is in fact interesting

is alice jasper's morality chain? we love pondering this question via fic, meta, etc (especially because...alice ain't exactly a model of ethical behavior herself)

together, the two of them exhibit lots of classic tropes. they're grumpy x sunshine, chatty x silent, opposites attract, etc. to say nothing of that height difference 🥵

we love the yin/yang symbolism of a character with a horrific past paired with a character with NO memory of her past, who is focused on the future and all about potential. not to invoke an ancient phrase but POETIC CINEMA

the next note just says “POTENTIAL in general.” I assume we meant how all of the above stuff creates potential for interesting stories, conflicts, metas, art, fic, etc

G has brought this up in the past, but we love the irony of jasper, a character whose chief desire is to be left in peace, being soul-alteringly in love with the one character who will always be a giant glaring target through no fault of her own. hilarious

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Chapter 4

Damian's face twisted in disgust at the offending object.

Phantom's quirked in confusion. He nudged the massive striped bass towards the smaller siren. "What's wrong?"

"I am a vegetarian." Damian huffed. "And it's raw."

"Oh. Uh, whoops." Phantom shrugged. "I don't know how to break it to you, dude, but, like... There's not much better to eat out there."

Damian glared at him. "I would rather starve."

Perhaps he was being too stubborn. With a buffoon of a companion such as this, the situation was better treated as a survival scenario than a mere mission. Damian was no fool. Vegetarianism was a luxury afforded to those with the food abundance to choose.

That, and it had been a solid sixteen hours since his last meal. His tail felt sore and aching in a way he hadn't felt in years. His stomach growled and groaned, demanding something to fill it.

The last time he felt a hunger like this was when he was still in the League, when they sent him out on weeks long missions where he starved under moonlight and ate birds and rats to survive.

"Come on, Damian, you need to eat something." Phantom cajoled, as if his puppy-eyed look could ever match that of Richard's. "And the seaweed's not gonna sustain you. Believe me I tried."

"Are sirens obligate carnivores?"

"No, but-"

"Then tell me why I cannot sustain myself off of kelp and seaweed?"

"Dude, those things have literally no calories in them."

A valid point, but just because he was right did not mean Damian had to cede the point so easily. "Is the siren species so primitive as to not have cultivated plants in order to sustain their population?"

"I literally don't know how to answer that dude. Do I look like an ambassador or something to you?"

Damian frowned.

"Look, it's getting late and we'll need all the rest we can get. I promise it doesn't taste that bad. We'll try and work something out tomorrow, how's that?"

Damian sighed. "Very well, but only because I very my life, thank you very much."

"Thank god for that..."

Damian unwrapped himself from his tail, and approached the poor fish. "I am terribly sorry, fish. I will not let your sacrifice be in vain." He muttered.

He looked up to find Phantom with a small knife, cutting up the fish into messy fillets, like this was the first time he'd done so. Peculiar. Surely he had lived off fish his entire life, and had deboned many before this moment.

"Just so you don't get poked in the mouth by a bone or two. Those things suck."

Phantom offered a strip of meat. Shutting his eyes, Damian took the food, and shoved it into his mouth, chewing minimally before swallowing.

The taste was... acceptable.

More than acceptable. perhaps.

It would be a shame to let the fish's death go to waste.

...

Damian sank his teeth into the side of the fish, eyes almost rolling into the back of his head from the taste.

Some time later...

Danny floats back into the cave, a handful of kelp bundled up in his arms. "Hey Damian, look I know this situation sucks for you, like in every way, so I went out and got some greens for you, just so it's not all meat and- Wait, Damian?"

The boy in question slept fastly, his fins gently drifting back in forth in the small currents caused by Danny's entrance. His head was slumped against the bass he'd brought in earlier, little strips of fish still stuck in his teeth.

Now that he wasn't making faces and being angry at Danny, he was honestly pretty cute.

Danny wiped some of the bits of meat off Damian's cheek, careful not to scratch his soft scales with a misplaced claw. Despite being so small, Damian managed to chew through a sizable portion of the fish that was easily half his size or more.

Setting the child's body to the side, and draping a small blanket over him, Danny set to finishing off the rest.

He hoped everyone back home wouldn't worry too much. If the GiW boats didn't clear out by tomorrow, then they were in for a big problem. He and Tucker were working on making waterproof earpieces, but they weren't ready yet, and his waterproof phone had been left in his room when he'd rushed out to get Damian back. That meant no communication with Amity Island whatsoever. No way to get in contact with Bruce Wayne, and no way for his friends to know he and Damian were ok.

He was really in over his head, wasn't he?

The morning came with a very loud wake up call.

"YO BABYPOP!"

Danny jolted awake and bumped his head into the nearest desk overhead. "Who's attacking us?!"

Beside him, Damian jerked himself into a defensive stance (or as close to one as he could manage.)

The curtains of the cave were pushed open, allowing streams of sunlight to stream in and blind the boy with its glare. Peeking into the cave was the head of one Ember McClain, a vicious grin plastering her face.

"You never told me you got a kid!"

Damian chirped indignantly.

Danny sputtered. "Whawhwh Wh Wait a second!"

Ember pulled out of the cave, and squealed. "Yo Kitty! Dipstick's got himself a kid!"

A woosh of water rushed past, and Kitty's neon green and teal scales showed themselves. "Omg! Phantom aren't you like fifteen? What the heck?!"

Danny blushed deeply teal. "He's not mine I swear!"

Ember pushed Kitty out of the way. "Oh my gosh he's so tiny. Who's the lucky woman?? Or man??? Phantom what have you been getting up to without us?!"

Damian hissed at him from behind Danny's shoulder (when did he get there?) "Begone, harpies! And cease your accusations! I would sooner perish than be related in any way to this incompetent fool."

Ember trilled in adoration. "He's so freaking adorable. Where did you get him, Babypop? An orphanage??"

Danny would've done a spittake, if he was above water. "W-what?! Dude, literally where would even find an orphanage around here?"

"Did his parents dump you on him like Johnny was?"

"Uh I'm not even gonna question that."

Ember clasped her hands to her mouth in scandalous shock. "No way, did you finally turn to the dark side and kidnap him?"

Damian piped up again, gripping on Danny's shoulders with his unsheathed claws and rising higher. "Nonsense, I claim no familial relationship with this person, not by blood, law, or emotion. He is as close to me as any stranger would."

"Ouch Damian. I literally saved your life."

Ember and Kitty chortled and shorted. They clutched their bellies and lead against the walls of the cave. "It's just... PFPFTT Phantom you total scoundrel, ahah!"

"Yeah yeah, look I gotta get this kid back to his dad on Amity, and quick. He's probably losing his mind over there."

Kitty gasped. "So you did turn him."

Danny shushed them. "Don't scream it out for the whole ocean to hear!"

He rushed out the entrance of the cave and shooed them in, covering the doorway up as they entered.

"Look I'd really, really rather you guys keep this on the down low. This is kind of a huge deal right now." Danny said.

He turned to Damian, still perched on his shoulder, his little tail brushing against Danny's ghostly white sail. "Is it ok if I tell them?"

"if it will convince them to vacate the premises."

"If you have to know, Damian's the son of some ultra rich guy. Skulker got him for whatever reason, and I was forced to turn him."

"Dude, Skulker went for a literal child?!" Ember clenched her first, likely hiding her extending claws. Right, Skulker was a bit of a touchy subject for her. "Of his own kind, no less?!"

"That's fucking low, girl."

"And now the GiW are going crazy too. Probalby got a huge donation or whatever. We're just waiting untli they go away so I can get Damian back to his dad, without any dissections. That also means none of you guys should be going near the place either."

"Pfft, too late for that."

Danny froze. "Who did they get?"

"Relaaxx, Dipstick. I was just preparing another concert, only for like fifty boats to show up out of fuckin' nowhere. Luckily I heard them before they saw me, but come on! I was miles from Amity at that point!"

"Miles?" Damian whispered.

Danny felt the same way too. They were only increasing their patrols now, shit.

"It's bad enough that the rest of the Pod are freaking migrating. We haven't migrated in years!"

"Yeah, actually, Phantom you wanna join us? I know you have this whole, err, thing, with Amity Island, but we hardly see you. And Johnny's been itching for a rematch."

Danny looked over his shoulder, to where Damian was lost in thought. This might have been the first them he'd seen the kid not glaring.

"Thanks for the offer, but I need to get Damian home. It's my fault he's like this, and he's got a whole family out there waiting for him."

"Don't you too?"

Danny swallowed a thick of water. He did have a family, a family that was probably going crazy. But at least part of that family, and his friends, knew he could take care of himself, knew that he was a siren, knew that the water was his element. Damian's family didn't have that luxury.

"We'll figure it out."

The girls shared a look, and shrugged. "The offer still stands, Babypop. Oh, and i'll be sure to fuckin' dice Skulker next time i see him, lying, cheatin' bastard.

For a moment, the boys watched the two siren teens' trailing tails, before they turned a corner and disappeared.

"Gotham."

"What was that?" Danny asked.

"If Amity Island is inaccessible to us, then we have to go to Gotham."

"Isn't Gotham-"

"On the East Coast? Yes, it is. It's our only option."

"That's thousands of miles, and you can't even walk!"

"Would you rather we stay here, waiting for the GiW to approach us and kill us both?"

Danny clenched his jaw. Damian was right, wasn't he.

"The only way to reunite me with Father is to go to Gotham. They will not be expecting us there."

"How can you be so sure?"

Damian dislodged himself from Danny's shoulder and floated in front of him. "Because they are unaware of the sirens' power of transformation, am I correct?"

"Good point, but wait, how did you know that?"

"I did some cursory research before coming here. The prevailing theories put forth by the supposed 'experts' on the matter asserted that sirens eat their human victims, with no mentions of turning. They have no reason to believe I am not dead., and no reason to suspect any siren activity in Gotham."

"And you're ok with that. Thousands of miles of swimming in the endless ocean full of things wanting to eat you?"

"Are you not?"

"Ok ok, calm down." Danny had to chuckle though. Rich as this kid may be, he was definitely not spoilt enough to sit still and wait for his dad to save him.

"And the fastest way to get to Gotham is via the Panama Canal." Damian puffed his chest out in what was probably pride. Danny stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Have I ever jested to you before?"

"No seriously. The Panama Canal. You realise that place is monitored up and down, right? Literally the moment we get spotted, the locks are gonna, you know, lock down, and then we'll be stranded and sitting ducks to be chopped up by the GiW."

"That will not be an issue. You possess the power of camouflage, do you not? And again, they will not be expecting us in Panama, so they will have no reason to bring any sonars there."

Danny wanted to bang his head against the wall. This idea sounded so stupid, but not stupid enough that it was unfeasable.

"In addition, you said it yourself. Your negligence resulted in my permanent loss of humanity, so it is your responsibility to do whatever you can do right your wrong."

Shit. Came with being the son of a businessman, didn't it? This kid was guilttripping the hell out of him and Danny could honestly not say he didn't deserve it.

"Fiiiine. We're going to Panama."

"Excellent." Damian grinned. "Let us leave immediately."

Danny could only pray that none of the 50 things that could go wrong, did go wrong, but when was his luck ever that good?

No, instead, Danny strapped in whatever supplies he had laying around in the cave. To Panama we go...