#could also be him cutting it off after finding out hes a trans guy and it being-

[risetherivermoon]

i hc that the oakvalians never cut their hair, and when henry arrived on earth he had like- waist length hair, and he cut it off later on while with mercedes, and he didn't get why at the time, but it felt like a really important moment to him

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hiiii hi could i request some headcanons for Nolan and/or Allen with a small but strong s/o? Like not nearly on their level but still strong enough to pick them up if that make sense,, oh also ftm chubby reader plsssss

Nolan Grayson and Allen the Alien x strong chubby ftm reader

Headcanons

I started cheering when they buffed Allen up, because, why wouldn’t I, look at him. This is set somewhere in season 2, but before they’re locked up.

Nolan Grayson

Viltrum seems like a very cut and rough people, so things like being trans doesn’t seem like something they would have. So, when you guys started dating, there were a lot of things you would need to teach him.

It would take a while, but he would also never actually misgender you, Nolan just wouldn’t really get the concept of gender in the way it is on earth. He also wouldn’t really get why you might want to bind or get surgeries, but as long as it makes you happy, then whose he to judge.

Nolan gets really angry if somebody misgenders you maliciously. Honestly, knowing Nolan, he probably got mad even if someone did it on accident, so you would have to reel him back in before anything bad happened.

He also wouldn’t mind you being chubby. Since everyone on Viltrum are all muscular and built, being chubby would be something only seen in other species. It’s probably something viltrumites would find attractive, without ever being verbal about it, since it’s something they could never achieve themselves.

It isn’t hard to be smaller than Nolan, since he’s so tall and built. It’s also not really something Nolan cares much about, since your height doesn’t play into how he feels about you. But that’s how he feels most of your physical appearance after he gets to know you.

He would be pleasantly surprised that you could pick him up, but it wouldn’t knock him off his feet since being strong is so normal for him. He would try to see your limits though, there’s no way around that.

Allen the Alien

Unlike Nolan, Allen would know a lot about the different genders and sexualities across the galaxy, since that was probably part of his training. Sure, you might have to explain the specifics of earth, but that’s just earth in general when it comes to Allen.

Your gender or how you present yourself wouldn’t matter one bit to Allen, since he sees so many different people across the galaxy all the time. This is also because he doesn’t conform to earths standards, so you can be exactly yourself around him and Allen would never question or doubt you.

He wouldn’t cause a fight if somebody misgendered you, at least in the beginning. If they did it maliciously, then he might straighten up and give a good ol “not cool man”, but if the person starts to get physical, then Allen would shut it down.

Like your gender and how you present yourself wouldn’t matter, your weight wouldn’t matter to Allen either. As long as you are happy, he doesn’t care. Plus, you being chubby also makes you softer to cuddle, which would be a win for him.

Like Nolan, it wouldn’t be hard to be smaller than Allen, especially after he gets buffed up later on. You are far from the only person who he has to look down at, so it wouldn’t bother Allen. He would go out of his way to tease you though, just because he can.

Allen would be excited that you could carry him with ease, which just ends up with you having to carry him all the time after he figures it out. There isn’t really a reason for this, it just makes him feel loved when you do so. He would also use the knowledge that you are strong to convince you to train. Not to fight, maybe a little, but mainly to protect yourself.

[jevilowo]

TEAM ASCENDED FORTRESS 2

An AU by me in which the mercs ascend to their ultimate forms

Oh God tumblr wrecked the quality-

More about the AU under the cut!

WOKE SCOUT: she started taking estrogen and instead of fixing her it made her worse. She gets into fights on twitter about neopronouns and has successfully cancelled everyone she doesn't like at least once. However, as cancel culture isn't real, this only lasted about three seconds for each. She managed to pull Ms Pauling also which is pretty cool.

SOLDIERSUNE MIKU: the ghost of Shakespearicles told him to dress as Miku and redo the salem witch trials. Only knowing one witch (Merasmus), he finished this quickly and now roams the country with Zhanna (who is now Zhannagane Miku after Mikus metal counterpart) spreading malice and wonder through the power of AMERICAN SONG COVERS. He uses a wig for the Miku effect, but is working on growing his hair out also.

MITOSIS: Pyro and Engie were shagging one time and they came so hard they did mitosis. Now theres 23 babey Pyros (count em) and Engineer is a single dad. There's a lot of Pyro Mitosis Lore™ in my head, but the basics are that they evolve into either humanoid, beastial, demonic or celestial Pyros eventually.

TAVISH, KING OF THE LOCH NESS: he did it he blew up that bloody sea monster and now he is king of Loch Ness. The self loathing has died down a lot which is great for him but his body is still a scrumpty distillery which is eh. Still, he has funky water powers and his partners Soldiersune and Zhannagane come to visit often.

KEEPER OF TIME AND SPACE GUY: Heavy was mad, he knew he'd been had so he shot at the sun with a gun. Instead of being a show off like that bitch Juno, he had a nice philosophical conversation and chess match with Time and impressed Time so much he was appointed as the guardian of Time and Time's partner, Space. His guns (the six angel thingies pictured) can turn into celestial weapons which helps in the protecting but people don't shoot at the sun so often so its a relaxing enough gig really.

GODDAMMIT ENGIE: after realising how much more efficient Gunslinger was than a lame ass human hand, Engie succumbed to his hubris and eventually replaced all his body parts with robot parts. Including his dick which led to the Mitosis Incident. Anyway. His chest is a dispenser which makes projects pretty convenient and he has a mini-sentry attached to each arm and leg, making him a walking weapon. This did not help with the god complex, but it helps with the single father thing.

THE INFERNAL DOCTOR: Medic kept attaching more souls to his own and selling them to Satan for power. Satan got so sick of this eventually he attempted to beat the shit out of Medic. By now Medic was slightly more powerful than Satan so this ended with Medic absorbing Satan's powers and basically taking his place. Somehow, his relationship with the guy who is now a celestial being was unaffected by this. If they really tried they could probably ascend even further. To godhood, perhaps. In any case, Medic becoming The Devil from The Bible did nothing for the god complex.

???: Sniper just kind of fucked off into the woods one day god knows what happened to him but Scout's convinced she saw him for like three seconds a week ago and "YOU GUYS HE HAD ANTLERS I SWEAR-"

RETIRED AND BECAME A FUNCTIONING MEMBER OF SOCIETY SPY: yeah. He's very happy with Scout's Mother (Maureen), and he's letting his roots grow out (his spy agency made him dye his hair black). He's even making an effort to be a good parent to Scout, bought her the trans flag ipad cover and everything, but she just keeps trying to cancel him. Maureen's sure they'll work it out between themselves eventually, but until then she has to keep finding more secure hiding places for the ipad (the best so far was the time she buried it under a tree a mile away, took Scout at least four hours to find and retrieve it that time)

There's also YURI MS PAULING, in which she pulled a whole polycule of beautiful women, but I'll cover her in another post.

Also TERFS DNI please. Woke Scout is just Scout being Scout (which is to say a bit stupid), and assuming all trans women are like that would be ridiculous. So fuck off.

[ind1c0lite]

FINALLY yall get to see this lmao, basically Ive had an au (??) rattling around in my head where Apollo decides to hire Kay, a private investigator, to help him find and track down his birth mother, shenanigans ensue, some more things abt it under the cut (feel free to ask anything abt it it lives rent free in my head JHKLJ)

-Most likely takes place a year after SOJ- Though I havent actually watched it for myself yet so Im just going off of info from the wiki HGJKHL

-Kay is 26! shes been a PI for about 3 years now and has gained a rep for being VERY good at her job

-Apollo approaches her with basically nO info or leads and while its gonna Make their job MUCH harder, Kay decides to take it on anyways on the condition that Apollo acts as her assistant during this case

-Basically this is just Apollos lil secret mission for himself, he doesnt tell anyone else abt it since its so emotionally heavy for him

-Im not sure exactly /how/ theyd do it, but I do know that Apollos bracelet would be the best bet after looking through way too much paperwork, probably via finding out what its made out of it since its a special kind of metal

- Basically it'd go like: Find out who commissioned said bracelet > turns out it was Magnifi Gramarye > Uh Oh.PNG > Theres only one woman who was in Troupe Gramarye > Apollo crisis whenever he sees Trucy now > He needs more proof though beside that > Kay finds an older recording of Troupe Gramarye, Thalassa is seen out of costume, wearing both bracelets > Well it cant be just coincidence now > He Is Now a lil Magician man > Now they have to find Thalassa > Turns out shes dead > find out that she didnt ACTUALLY die, Magnifi faked her death> not sure how they would get from here to finding out Thalassa is Lamiroir > Also find out that Phoenix has knwon this entire time and didnt tell either trucy or Apollo > mixed emotions over aLL of it but GOD Apollo is just happy to know his mother is still alive

-I like to think that Trucy joins Apollo and kay at some point in their investigation since shes directly involved at that point

-Maybe a small side plot where Apollo hasnt told Kay about the perceive thing and so he knows shes lying about /something/ unrelated to their case (the whole being the yatagarasu deal)

-overall I think Kay and Apollo would be good friends they could ABSOLUTELY match each others energy and it'd be a good time, they're trans girl trans guy solidarity

-It /c o u l d/ be like an Investigations like plot wheres theres different cases that all tie into the greater mystery OR finding his mom is the focus of it Im not totally sure yet hjgkhlj

[gaycragula]

Wait omg can you write trans!male reader x cassidy smut, apologies i dont have any specifics theres just not a lot of that love ur writing

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

Pairing: Cole Cassidy x Trans!Male Reader Warning(s): NSFW/18+ content under the cut

Warning(s): Bottom reader, face sitting/face riding, eating out, vaginal sex, vaginal terms such as clit, pussy, etc are used throughout, not beta read. never beta read Word Count: 2197 Masterlist AO3 Link i know the title is basic. im awful with coming up with titles </3. also suprise !!! im not dead. sorry for disappearing again. it will happen again

Cassidy tensed as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, relaxing when you’d muttered his name against him. The bar you’d gone out to was getting crowded and you were starting to get uncomfortable at some of the looks people had been giving you. One too many drinks and self-control goes out the window with some people. 

“Somethin’ up, darlin’?” Cassidy asks. You shake your head, nudging your nose into his neck for a moment.

“Jus’ wanted to come see you a moment,” you answer as you eye his glass of whiskey. “And steal your drink,” you add, snatching his glass before he could push it out of your reach. 

Cassidy scowls as you hand him the empty glass. You offer him a smile before taking his hat off his head. He reaches to take it back from you, missing as you step away from him and place the accessory on your head. “I’ll meet you outside in an hour, cowboy,” you tease, patting his arm as you step back into the crowd.

True to your word, you were outside in an hour. You leaned against the wall of the bar, a cigar in your mouth as you chatted with another bar patron. His hat remained perched on your head and Cassidy couldn’t think of a time you’d looked any hotter than you did then.

Smoke billowed from your mouth as you spoke. The top buttons of your button up had been popped open, exposing your chest- including a lovely set of hickeys Cassidy had given you a couple nights prior- to the cool evening air. The hat, his hat, was angled down, obstructing the top half of your face. 

Cassidy watched you rummage through your pockets before you pulled out the pack of matches you keep on you. He always found it amusing that you lit your cigars with matches. You handed the pack to the patron who lit up a cigarette. He decided to walk up to you then, leaning against the wall next to you.

At this proximity, he could see your eyes had been trained on him, a mischievous look in your eyes as you stood up straight. “Need something, cowboy?” You ask, offering him your cigar.

“You with that guy?” The patron asks and Cassidy can’t hold back his smile as you roll your eyes. He takes your cigar with a curt nod as you turn to answer the person.

“Sure am,” you answer, taking your matches back when offered. You can’t make out what the person says after before they’re walking off to bother someone else. “Fucker wouldn’t leave me alone,” you mutter, taking your cigar back before putting it out. 

“So you weren’t talkin’ to ‘em to make me jealous?” Cassidy teases. You scoff and grab the collar of his shirt to pull him closer to you.

“I would never,” you grin, ghosting your lips over his. He can smell the remnants of your cigar on your breath and he knows you can practically taste the whiskey he’d been drinking. “You want me to?”

It was Cassidy’s turn to scoff, pressing his lips against yours. His hands find your waist and he’s pushing you back into the wall behind you as he trades a few kisses with you. “Home?” He asks as he pulls back.

“Unless you wanna bang in a motel, yeah.”

–

The moment the door closed behind you, Cassidy was on you. His hands finished unbuttoning your shirt and pushing it off of your torso kicking. It hits the ground and he kicks it away for later cleanup. You push your chest into his hands as he traces the scars just under your pecs. He always does when he gets your shirt off. 

He hums affectionately and he leans in to kiss you again, tilting his head so he doesn’t bump his forehead against his hat that you’re still wearing. Thumbs brush over your nipples and you groan into his mouth.

Tongues meet and saliva is swapped and before long things have moved into the bedroom and you’re both naked. You straddle Cassidy’s hips, your thighs on either side of his hips.

You run a hand down your body, stopping at your naval as you look down at him. He can’t get over the dark look in your eyes, a stark contrast to your sickly sweet smile you’re giving him.

“Want a taste?” 

“Course I do, darlin’.” Cassidy nods eagerly, his hands already reaching for your thighs as you move up to hover just above his face. He urges you down, wasting no time in getting his tongue sliding through your folds, his lips around your engorged clit. 

Fingernails dig into your thighs and you know they’re going to leave marks by the time he’s done. The contrast between his real arm and metal one just adds to the sensation of his lips on your pussy.

You roll your hips against his face, biting your lip to muffle the moan that bubbles in your throat. He eats you out like a man starved, lapping up anything and everything you give him. It sends jolts of pleasure straight up your spine.

Hand grip your ass, kneading the flesh there. His beard scratches against your inner thighs and it causes you to squeeze them together just a bit tighter. Cassidy groans under you, squeezing your ass tighter while his tongue flicks against the sensitive head of your clit.

One of your hands finds purchase in Cassidy’s hair, pulling his face impossibly closer to your pussy as you grind against his mouth. “Fuck Cassidy, you know how to eat a man out,” you groan out in praise. 

Cassidy groans in response. You can hear his hips jerk against the bed and you can just tell he’s desperate for stimulation. You glance down at him and find him already looking up at you, eyes lidded and nose flared. It makes your heart skip a beat and you can feel your cheeks heat up.

He chuckles against your pussy, the vibrations against your clit making you tense up and forcing a moan out of your mouth. Cassidy’s tongue pushes against your hole and you tense as it pushes into you. “Cole!” You hiss as you tug on his hair.

He groans but his tongue returns to licking through your folds and circling your clit. The familiar coil of your orgasm tightens in your abdomen and a well timed suck to your cocklet sends you over the edge before you can even warn Cassidy. Your pussy spasms and you can hear the lewd sounds of him slurping up as much as he can. Greedy little thing he was.

The aftermath of your orgasmic high has you twitching on top of him in a blissed haze before Cassidy moves you off of his face. He lays you on your back next to him, crawling over you to kiss you as he reaches for the bedside table where you keep the lube.

You can taste yourself on his lips. You still haven’t figured out if you like it or not. 

You vaguely register the sound of the cap to the lube opening and then there’s slicked fingers pressing against your entrance. The soft moan you produce is swallowed by his mouth as he pushes a single finger into you.

The kiss breaks as you let your head fall back against the pillow at the feeling. His fingers were nice and beefy- a stretch in of themselves but, they were a pleasant stretch. Cassidy begins to pump the finger in and out slowly, earning soft gasps from you in return. 

He always takes his time stretching you open. A fact that you both love and hate at the same time. You love that he takes such good care of you. You hate the fact that sometimes you just want his cock in you as soon as humanly possible and he always insists on doing it properly.

A second finger joins the first, followed by a third that has you writhing under him. “Fuck, Cassidy, just- just give it to me already!” You groan in complaint. 

“Impatient today, ain'tcha?” He teases in response, his lips teasing over yours while a fourth finger teases against your pussy. That fourth finger breaches and you curse Cassidy for teasing you further. The bastard.

It drives you wild, being so filled yet it still doesn’t feel like enough. “Cassidy, please,” you plead, voice cracking in desperation. “Just give me your cock already.”

It honestly looks like he’s going to continue teasing you, fucking you with his fingers. But it seems luck is on your side today and he finally removes his fingers.

You whine on instinct at the loss before you’re watching Cassidy roll a condom on. You shift into a more comfortable position, your head nice and comfy on the pillows and your thighs draped over both of Cassidy’s as you watch him apply lube to his dick. In the meantime, you run a couple fingers over the short length of your clit to keep yourself stimulated.

He lines up with your hole, the head of his cock presses against you as he grabs your wrist and pins it up next to your head. “Enough of that, pretty boy,” he rumbles, leaning down to capture your lips in another kiss.

Your pussy pushes back against Cassidy as he tries to push in. “Cmon, hun, you gotta relax f’me,” he mumbles against your lips. 

You grumble in response- something about this is what he gets for teasing you. You feel him huff against your lips before his lips are trailing across your cheek to your jaw and then down your neck. 

Cassidy nuzzles against your neck, his beard scratching pleasantly against your skin. A hum leaves your lips and your body slowly relaxes enough so Cassidy can press the head of his cock in. You immediately tense back up with the intrusion.

He was a monster down there, which was probably why he insisted on so much prep beforehand. Your wrist is finally free when Cassidy moves both his hands to rub over your thighs to help you relax. 

It does the trick wonderfully. He sinks in inch by inch, pausing when you tense up to let you adjust until his hips are flush against yours. You both let out sighs of relief and share another kiss.

For a moment, you’re both still, simply trading quick, open mouthed kisses. He’s the one that gets impatient this time. “Cmon, darlin’..” he murmurs against your lips, his eagerness to start moving evident in the way his hands clench your thighs.

“Slow,” you respond. It was all he needed. 

He pulls out slowly until just the head was left in and then, just as slowly, pushes back in. He’s rewarded with a moan from you.

It does start out slow, both of you moving in tandem as you just appreciate the closeness you have with the other. His balls press against your ass with every push in and there’s a quiet wet slurp as he moves.

But, desire calls. “Faster,” you say through a quiet moan. And Cassidy was happy to oblige.

He hooks a hand under one of your knees and pushes it up to your chest as he fucks into you. “Your pussy takes t’my cock well, doesn’t it, pretty boy?” He chuckles, looking down at the point where the two of you meet.

You moan in response, not trusting your voice to not break in the middle of your sentence. The sounds of his balls slapping against your ass and the quick slide of his cock into you fills the room alongside the combination of yours and Cassidy’s moans and groans.

Cassidy was never shy about his noises. Hell, he’d moan in your ear if you were in a position to do so. You’d even argue to say the guy was louder than you. Not that you were complaining. He sounded fucking wonderful.

Your back arches and your eyes roll into your head as he hits the spot that has you seeing stars. “Cole!” You gasp. He can feel you flutter around him and that, and with how you said his name, has his balls tightening. 

His free hand finds your cocklet and he starts jerking off the short length in time with his thrusts. It has your hips twitching and your toes curling as your second orgasm of the night rolls over you. 

You can feel Cassidy’s cock twitch inside of you as he pushes his hips flush against yours and fills the condom with his own release. A lovely groan leaves his lips as he does so. 

A few moments go by that consist of both of you panting before Cassidy finally pulls out, leaving you cold and empty. He lets your leg back down and removes and pitches the condom. Then his lips are on your again, a nice, tender kiss that both of you can enjoy in your post-coital bliss.

“Love you, darlin’,” Cassidy says against your lips.

“Love you too, cowboy,” you respond with a small, tired smile. 

“Bath?”

“You know better than to ask. Of course.”

[tswhiisftteedr]

Hello You could do one of Adam (top) x male reader bottom top, with Adam having gay panic, with the reader being the submissive but at the same time the active one.

Gay Panic ☆ Oneshot

Adam x Winner!Male!Reader:

After encountering the first man himself at a heaven party, you find yourself being in quite the confrontational scenario. Will Adam come to terms to the reason behind his jerkiness towards you? And will you get something out of this originally annoying encounter? Only time will tell…

Words: 2354

Warnings: Mature Content, Explicit/Graphic Language, No sex but very much graphic description of a sexual fantasy, Homophobia & Internalized Homphobia, Adam forced realizing he likes man, Bad writing, NOT PROOFREAD.

Note: So I don’t do male reader smut(amab, trans ftm reader is fine tho) so this doesn’t have sex per say but it’s basically reader being a horny little shit and telling Adam how they want to be fucked by him or how they jerked off to the thought of him, so it’s graphic but no actual sex. Also I went for a winner instead of a sinner.

Author Note: I took a big break from writing so idk if my style changes or I got better/worst, so I hope you guys still like it.

☆ more under the cut. ☆

It had been a little while since you passed through the big gate in the sky—less than a year, but more than a month.

Truthfully, life up here had been pretty cushy. After all, it’s heaven; it’s supposed to be. But this surpassed all your expectations about the ‘good version of the afterlife.’ Everything was just so heavenly.

In addition to the comfortable living arrangements, life in heaven was genuinely fun, especially the parties. You might have thought a place devoid of all earthly substances would be dull, but it turned out to be amazing. Sure, the vibe was different from your standard 20th-century terrestrial party, but it was no less enjoyable.

One noticeable change was the attention you received from the ladies at these events. Your striking looks, overall charm, and handsome personality made you irresistible to any damsel, whether on earth or high in the heavens.

Though you didn't return the sentiment, as you leaned more towards men in terms of attraction, it never stopped the feminine crowd from fawning over you or the jealous ‘dude bros’ from pestering you. Beauty really is a curse, huh?

Speaking of ‘dude bros’, the biggest one was currently approaching you with an angry stomp as you stood in your secluded corner, sipping a virgin piña colada after finally escaping your female admirers.

He looked rather pissed off, and from what you’d heard about him and his entitled personality, you had a pretty good idea why he was so infuriated.

"You think you're some hotshot or something?" Adam spat out as he towered over you, his gold-tinged eyes narrowed into slits.

"Excuse me, what?" You questioned THE Man, feigning surprised at his sudden appearance despite the fact he was making a very obvious beeline towards you a second ago.

"Yeah, you heard me. Just because you’ve got some bitches flocking around like fleas makes you think you’re a big deal or something." He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and scoffing.

"But let me tell you the truth, assface, you're not. You're just some little guy who, at the end of the day, is nothing compared to the big dick in charge—me, Adam!" He leaned in closer, practically in your face, and let out a chuckled, though it sounded rather hollow—a desperate attempt to mask his envy.

He eyed the piña colada in your hand with disdain, watching your facial expression, waiting for an answer.

"Oh, then why did you walk up to me all red, hot, and bothered? If it isn’t jealousy towards me, then maybe... it could be that.. you want me, Adam. Is that it? Does the first man want to touch me?" You stepped closer, getting in his face now. "To fuck me." You traced your fingers up your body to accentuate your words then moved to lightly sliding them down his chest as you continued, "Because I wouldn’t be opposed to it; taking that dick of yours, letting you ravage my body as your sexy guitarist's hands get to explore every inch of mine, letting you stroke my cock, and finally, cumming together—your hot semen deep inside my tight ass. Well, that doesn't sound like a bad way to end a Friday night."

You could see his brain short-circuiting—he wanted to maintain his toxic alpha male facade, but your description of the potential intercourse had him feeling really hot.

After gathering himself, he finally shot out a: "Fuck you, that's gay," before basically running away, his face still beaming red, and his below-the-belt area definitely not opposed to the proposed evening.

You snickered to yourself and enjoyed the rest of the night as you pleased.

A week had passed since that party, and today was your first day at the Bureau of Heavenly Affairs. Sure, working in heaven wasn’t necessary at all—it was completely voluntary—but for some reason, helping Heaven with its legislation seemed like a fulfilling way to spend your afterlife. And worst-case scenario, you could quit with no repercussions.

So while there was some slight underlying anxiousness, you were confident in yourself—after all, you had passed the interview with flying colors! You were ready for everything—well, except coming face to face once more with that egotistical yet devilishly handsome piece of shit known as Adam.

During your first meeting, he had come out of nowhere to berate you because he was feeling insecure and jelly. Therefore, you wondered how he would react to seeing you in this setting and, more importantly, how he would react after realizing you were not a visitor but a new coworker.

Your bets were on the negative, and you were right. As soon as he spotted you, he came straight over, demanding answers in a very angry tone. Though it didn’t escape your notice that he did a blushing double-take after recognizing you before he eventually approached.

"Why the hell are you here?"

Without batting an eye, you replied, "Well, you're looking at this Bureau’s newest employee. Figured I'd help y'all run this place a bit more smoothly. i happen to be quite could when it comes to legislation, so might as well put my talents to good use, right? You're welcome."

Adam stared at you for a moment, looking like he couldn't form a response, probably because confronting you at a party in a drunken haze was one thing, but this was entirely different. Despite him being your superior in a professional environment, your actually professionalism compare to his half-assed one, clearly threw him off balance.

Gasping for air, he finally uttered, "Well I don’t want you here, I never gave you the permission to work here. Who do you think you..." His voice trailing off, Adam appeared to be in a state of disarray.

"Easy there, champ. I was interviewed by Sera herself. She thought my skillset was perfectly aligned with what the Bureau needed and decided to give me a chance. I guess the big boss lady had faith in my abilities and that count’s for way more than what you might or might not want," you interjected, raising an eyebrow and folding your arms, mimicking his previous stance.

Seeing a hint of red creep back into Adam's cheeks, you couldn't help but feel a surge of inner satisfaction. After all, he was the one who made a scene at the party and approached you today, and now he had to swallow his pride, possibly realizing that you were, in fact, untouchable in this environment.

As the tension between the two of you ebbed, Adam slowly regained his composure, although his resistance was still evident. "Fine. Whatever, make sure you don't fuck up, or there will be consequences." He returned to his office, not meeting your gaze and leaving you with a smirk on your lips.

Time passed by quickly as work ensued, you adjusting seamlessly into the bureaucracy, and, as expected, Adam's constant snide comments and micromanaging became part of your daily routine.

What was less expected, however, was the way his attitude shifted mere seconds after every encounter. As if invisible forces of shame and lust clung to him, haunting him long after your interactions. Wordlessly, Adam began to find excuses to approach you, always lingering for far too long, unable to keep his gaze from sweeping on your body.

From your point of view, he was constantly looking at you, and why he was behaving this way—you were not quite sure.

Surely he didn’t view you as a threat anymore when it came to women, so why was he acting like that? You entertained the idea that maybe that jackass, instead of being completely infuriated with you, was perhaps just into you.

It was almost laughable to think about: Adam, first man and number one dirtbag, who loved to boast about how much ‘pussy he crushes’, having a little crush (or at least a sexual attraction) on you—absolutely grotesque.

Well, that’s what you had thought for the longest time. But as unpredictable as things always were, your notion of reality was shattered just a couple of months into the job.

Today was the first work party you had decided to attend. There had been a few over the last four months, but each time, you just didn’t feel like going.

The party setting brought back a surge of memories, especially about a certain attending guest. You sighed to yourself just thinking about it, then give your attention back to your surroundings.

The room swarmed with laughter and the sounds of clinking glasses as employees mingled, sharing stories from work and enjoying the festivities. Despite the atmosphere, you clung to the edge of the dance floor, pretending to enjoy your non-alcoholic drink while observing from afar.

Adam, as the centerpiece of attention, lounged in the middle of the unit, his 'followers' hanging onto his every word. It didn't take long for him to spot you, and in an instant, he abandoned his conversation, stalking towards you with the swagger of the peacock that he was.

"It's too bad, really. I was hoping I wouldn't have to see your ugly mug and that you would've skipped tonight's party just like the others." he sneered, towering over you.

"Isn't it funny how things works." you replied, smirking without taking your eyes off him.

He rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and attempted to assert his dominance. "Still the same cocky attitude, huh? Well, listen up, because I'm saying it again. You better stay in your little corner and keep to yourself like your currently doing, I don’t want your fucking anything up tonight, or I'll make it my personal mission to punish you for it.." He leaned closer, trying to intimidate you.

But this time, you weren't ready to let his aggressive moves slide. You placed your glass on a nearby table, locking eyes with him, and speaking in a low, sensual voice, "Oh, is that so, big man? Hmm? I do wonder what kind of punishment someone like you would inflict on poor little ol’ me, especially considering how much of an eccentric asshole you are." You begin to transition to a more serious tone. "I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it’s something along the lines of a ‘private talk’ in that soundproof office of yours, or perhaps public humiliation." You then jump back into a teasing tone. "Oh yeah, that would get your rocks off for sure. Now listen here, pal. I don’t know why you have so much beef with me. I do my job and leave you the fuck alone, but somehow you always come by to be a little shit to me. It almost makes me wonder if you actually want me." Then, back to sensual. "Is that it? Do you have some kind of insatiable desire for me you're harboring deep down inside?”

A dashing blush spread across his cheeks, revealing the truth beneath the façade. Though he didn't respond immediately, you could see the veins in his neck twitching, hinting at the internal turmoil raging within him.

Finally, his voice came out strained, "Fuck you, I'm not like you."

"Like me?" you raised an eyebrow. "What could you ever mean by that, 'Adam'?" You inquired, placing special emphasis on his name, pronounced with a sultry tone.

"You know what I mean, you little bitch.” He says, pauses, then let’s out, “Gay. You’re fucking gay is what I mean.”

Totally unimpressed, you reply, “Yes, I’m gay. I thought we already went over that the day we met.” You roll your eyes.

“But then, what does that make you? You keep insisting that you're not, so what’s the reason behind your constant pestering? And I won’t accept just a ‘I don’t like you’ because your ass has been not only annoying but also permanently looking at me since I started working here. Even when you’re in your office, I can see you glancing through the blinds. So, what are you if not gay as fuck for me?” you question in a determined manner.

Adam's cheeks flushed deeper, the rage that usually bubbled up in him hampered by the your words. Your challenge, struck a nerve he had worked tirelessly to hide.

His voice was weak when he reluctantly answered, "I don’t know, you’re just annoying and kind of a...pussy," he managed to spit out before clenching his jaw and looking away in disgust.

You couldn't help but chuckle softly at his reaction, your voice deepening as you spoke. "Really, is that all that the ‘First Man’ gots to say?"

Adam's fists clenched and unclenched involuntarily, a gaze drifting over your body as your chest heaved with every breath you took. The syrup-like richness of your voice dripped through the gaps of his metal-tough facade, exposing cracks that could never be fully mended.

Your smirk broadened, your assertiveness leaving no room for denial. You knew you had him stuck and while you mentally processed that he did, actually, want you—what a shocker, first man wants some dick.

At that, you take a deep breath and gamble, “Listen, asshole, I’ll let you pound my ass in right now if you admit that you want me and apologize for how you’ve treated me so far.”

“Fuck you, I ain’t apologizing for shit,” Adam instinctively retorts, though he doesn't deny your offer.

“What was that?” you warn.

“I said I ain’t apologizing,” he repeats, and with that, you respond, “I guess I’ll just see myself off then. Guess you really didn’t want to fuck me.”

With that, Adam lets out a huff, then quickly says, “Yes, I want you, and I’m sorry for being an ass.” followed by an exasperated “You fucking happy now?!”

“Yes, very. Though we will need to work on that language of yours.” you reply teasingly and grab one of his wrists, dragging him into a random vacant room, which coincidentally happens to be his soundproof office. ‘How lucky is that?’

Let’s just say, as soon as that door closed, clothes were off, and you two did way more than have a ‘private talk.’

Thanks anons for requesting!

©tswhiisfttedr. dn translate, or plagiarize.

Tip Me (Ko-Fi) & And support my art account @maviscarlettie

You can now commission me!

Likes & Reblogs help!!! (Request Are On Pause)

[stars-n-spice]

Silly Squad 2nd Gen WIPS!

started on a little something something because I can't afford therapy to fix what s3 caused so-

Silly Squad families 10 years or so into the future :)

Find out more about the 'Silly Squad' here!

Star Wars said, "oh no sorry, the interracial poc couple can't be together" so I said fuck that!!! and made all of them poc/inter-species couples with mixed kids!! no i'm not biased at all.

Also, let's pretend that the clone aging thing isn't a,,, isn't a thing because 1) too much math and 2) too much angst potential.

Though it is funny to think about the clones with their fast aging and then their partners are all notoriously slow aging people ("black don't crack" and "asian don't raisin" sort of deal). You got this super old dude and then you look at their partner and they don't look a day over like 30.

No, I didn't cry while drawing this what the fuck are you talking about? Aha,, aha...ha...

Additional info about the families under the cut!

Starburst Family!

ok so since I've had Khea the longest, her family is the most thought out at this point

In order, from top, left to right: Itri (14/15), Marama 'Mara', Maia 'Mai' (both 10, 23 min apart), and Elio Nultez (7)

I made a post about them earlier so for more detailed info on their kids you can find it here!

Khea found Itri when she was about 4/5 years old and decided to take her in as a Foundling (she's also trans)

When Khea brought Itri back and showed her to Wrecker he was in complete shock (he thought she was Khea's biological daughter) but immediately took to the role as being a dad

Twins were an accident (oops) and an absolute handful but Khea and Wrecker wouldn't have it any other way

I saw a lot of people say that Wrecker would have a lot of kids and I agree, he's be a great dad (and he is!)

But pair that up with a Mandalorian wife? I'm sure both of them would adopt any and all kids that come their way

Not pictured is the twenty-something pets that their kids have adopted over the years - they could have a farm at this point

Sharpshooters Family!

I don't know where the idea came from but one day it randomly hit me how I wanted their family to be - but essentially after finishing s3 I knew Cross was just a girl dad through and through so I gave him a daughter

That's Akona and she's half Nautolan and half Pantoran! Oh and a HUGE menace!

Akon is eight and Cross found her when she was six

Since Pantorans have the yellow tattoos to mark their clans, Akona and Tay both got tattoos to represent Crosshair's, well, Crosshair tattoo since they're their own little clan

Tay also capped off his lethorns to prevent Akon from hurting herself and getting poked because she loves to climb all over him

Idk how they came across her but I'm thinking Cross decided to go out on a mission with Echo just this once and found her (and Tay was probably sick at home or something, idk)

Tay was super unsure about it (he's terrible with kids) but Crosshair assured him that things would be fine

And things are fine and better than ever :)

Scompscope Family!

I don't have names for these kiddos yet but I know I want them to be in tribute to Fives and Hevy!

So like,, I know technically Echo probably can't have kids and originally I was going to have them just adopt some clone cadets or something but uh,, me being biased I wanted biracial kids so-

BOOM! He can have kids in this AU.

They probably took some time to decide on the decision to have kids though since Echo and Viram are both dedicated to the cause of helping clones but eventually they do decide to settle down

Like all the Sec Gen kids, these two are absolute trouble makers and never back down from a challenge

They're a little less than a year apart, but they're 8 and 7!

TechPhee Family!

wow, I can't believe that this is actually canon guys!!! :D Isn't that amazing????

Anyways, Techphee kids don't have names yet but I am open to suggestions!!

Also,, these kids are an absolute THREAT. They're smart as hell, they're witty, they can fly a plane like it's nobody's fucking business, they're skilled with pistols and a vibroblade, there is NOTHING these kids can't do.

Except have 20/20 vision. Whomp whomp.

Hey, nobody is perfect.

Daughter is far-sighted and son is near-sighted!

Daughter is 11 and son is 8!

Guardians Family!

not pictured is the ten to twenty other kids that Hunter and Jung have adopted over the years

the super lovely and wonderful @taraneen and I were talking about this timeskip and she mentioned that she thinks that Hunter would eventually go back and adopt some kids after Omega leaves and I couldn't agree more

Him and Jung probably run some kind of orphanage or something where they talk in kids and if they so happen to be Force-sensitive, Jung helps them out with it

Look at these three, they're like,,, having a "who can grow out their hair the longest?" competition (Jung is winning)

Of course Omega loves all her new cousins and siblings as well :)

Omega is around 24 years old here so she's also like a big sister to all of them and they all look up to her and admire her deeply

[spookberry]

Hello I hope you are doing well! I wanted to say that I really love your art! Could I ask for more information about Henri and Claire, or just Henri in general? I think they're super cute but additionally, I think Henri is interesting by himself because I feel like I don't know as much about him! How long has he been immortal? How did he become immortal? How did he learn to exorcise? Oh, and I wanted to ask how you feel about fanart of your ocs? I really love Claire's design and I think it would be fun to draw him :)

:D! No one's ever asked me about Henri before! Also to answer your last question I'd love fanart of my OCs 🥺

More on Henri under the cut:

Okay so basically his backstory goes like this: back in the Victorian era there was this couple that was really into the occult. They were fairly nomadic, traveling the states as consultants when people were having supernaturally driven issues. This couple also happened to have a young son, Henri. Henri and his folks were very close and he took after them and their interest in ancient magic A Lot.

When Henri was about 9 his parents died. They left everything to him, but they didn't exactly have a house or anything, just a ton of old books and cursed trinkets. His favorite though was a book that was written entirely in ancient greek. So when he ran away to avoid being shipped off to live with relatives that didnt appreciate his interest in magic too much, that book was one of the things he thought to grab first.

Grief can make a 9 year old orphan do crazy shit, for Henri it became about trying to translate this book. Thats when he discovered problem number 2 with the book: its full of dark magic. Every spell in it is awful and corrupting. There's one unfinisged spell thats meant to banish a demon from their host body. And its like the one spell he can concieve of in this book that isnt just like flat out evil. So he decided to try and finish it.

The book also has a demon summoning ritual in it, so you can guess what he does.

After that he's saddled with Claire a 12 year old girl who is VERY mad it him about getting rid of her demon and demands he help her find him again. (Note: Claire does not realize he's trans yet here)

They try to summon skid back but it just doesnt work, so they gotta do this the old fashioned way.

Takes them months before they finally manage to track skid down again, but during that time the two manage to become friends. Claire opens up a lot about her fear of dying and how she feels she cant enjoy life because of how little time she has left. Henri decides his new goal in life is to heal her so that they can grow up and grow old together. He tells her as much and she gives him this gentle little smile and he internally is like "i would die for her" (he's in love but doesnt know it yet.)

Once Skid is back in and puppeting the body, Henri makes the choice to stick by Skid's side. He needs them to be close for when he finally figures out a way to heal her. And ya know the modern medicine of cough syrup with cocaine and mercury isnt gonna do it so he starts experimenting with magic instead.

He's 15 when he accidentally curses himself. Part of the curse effects his memory, so he doesn't actually know WHAT he did, and he doesn't even realize right away that he isn't aging. All he knows at first is that suddenly dark magics waaaay easier to do so he needs to be careful about that and also one of his eyes is fucked up. So now his secondary motive is also undo his own curse as well as heal Claire. Cuz itd suck if he finally heals Claire but isnt able to age himself, ya know?

Henri's a pretty chill guy and most of the cast view him as skid's 2nd in command and often her voice of reason(though he himself is prone to being impulsive and moody due to the whole technically still being 15 thing). The underlings also all view him as an older brother sort, because he's protective but often "hands off" in how deals with things but also hes just really tall. Lucky him he had his growth spurt before cursing himself to never age.

He tends to have a lot of memory issues, some days are worse than others. On his worst days he doesn't even remember how he met skid, but most days hes just sort of fuzzy and cant quite remember all 200 years he's spent by their side. His vision has also deteriorated with time, he cant see out of his left eye at all and can only make out colors and general shapes out with his left.

Even though he stuck with Skid for Claire's sake, Henri has actually become very close with skid after 200 years. Skid's secretive and doesnt actually like talking about themself honestly but depsite that he knows a lot about them. He knows skid has their own memory issues, and he's aware that Skid's not a full demon. He's heard skid's human name before but forgot it at some point and knows better than to ask about it. He's also very aware that Skid's prone to getting involved in shit which leads to them getting hurt magically and letting Claire run the body for a couple days every other decade. So they still get to see each other. These brief meetings is how Henri realized he was in love with Claire.

Bonus Info: Henri doesn't actually subscribe to modern labels and doesnt really consider himself as being into women or men. He just loves who he loves. (Hes asexual and panromantic)

Fun Fact: i came up with Henri and Skid when I was 12, but every other character in their story, including Claire, formed a slightly later.

^ skid and Henri drawings from when I was 12

[wolfgangevenstar]

Oh! Please share as much as you want about Trans!Johnny omg!!

okay since you asked so nicely 👉👈

first of all, and i cannot stress this enough, this hc goes hand in hand with trans dutch for me, you cannot have one without the other. like their friendship reminds me so much of how it is to grow up as a young trans guy and finally finding someone that seems to know exactly what ur going through (even if maybe neither of you know why yet) also it’s just nice to think they at least had each other with all the shit they were going through. they met before highschool, with dutch having transferred schools enough times due to being expelled that no one remembers him pre-transition (except johnny ofc)

Johnny came out super young. he was one of those people who always knew, and openly expressed those feelings of being a boy to his mother, who had no idea how to deal with it at first, but came around pretty quickly. She got him more boyish clothes (not much just what they could afford) and she cut his hair herself. this all happened before she even met Sid, (mainly bc i cannot imagine a scenario in which sid would be okay with having a trans step son) and to this day he’s still none the wiser.

the first person johnny came out to (besides his mom and dutch ofc) was ali. they’d become really close friends, and knowing what an amazingly kind and accepting person she was, he felt safe telling her almost everything. they started dating shortly after.

then of course there’s his relationship with kreese and how being in cobra kai affected him. (cannot decide if it makes more sense for kreese to know about him being trans or not, but ultimately i don’t think it really matters.) Johnny’s never really had a good male figure to look up to until this point and so he soaks up every single thing kreese teaches them. real men know how to fight, how to defend themselves, how to protect those who can’t fight for themselves, that’s what a real man does. and most importantly he takes no shit. no fear, no mercy. dutch agrees.

of course, this is when things start to go downhill with ali, and when they break up johnny tells himself it’s because she just doesn’t get it. she doesn’t understand. she doesn’t have to fight to be who she is, she just gets granted that by right of existing. it’s different for him. he has to earn it.

which is exactly why daniel larusso pisses him off so much. larusso and his stupid infuriating soccer moves, and his quick wit, and his kind and beautiful smile, and charisma with everyone he meets. he’s scrawny and weak and he’s not masculine or macho at all, he doesn’t even try, he doesn’t put in a modicum of effort and yet ali seems to think daniel’s more of a man than johnny ever will be. and it’s not fair. johnny had to work to earn his place, so why doesn’t daniel? johnny had to hurt people, hurt himself, break bones, run to the point of complete exhaustion and then keep running more. he had to practice lowering his vocie, and learn how to stand the right way, to walk the right way, to put away childish things, and puff out his chest act like a real man. all this work with no end in sight, and daniel doesn’t have to do a god damn thing.

it’s not fair.

[artoriarts]

Ok I don’t want to go make art and I don’t want to go find something good to scrounge up and post so I will instead spout assorted madcom headcanons. these are far from the last you will see from me.

- sanmos 4 lyfe (big sloppy heart emoji) they are both like playfully flirty in diff ways with other people but also so so monogamous at the same time they love eachother sooo much have the healthiest relationship known to man. ignore all the killings.

- 2bhank with the same energy as medic tf2 x heavy tf2. but like also 2b is catboy herder for hank. he holds the laser pointer in the relationship. hank isn’t like full creature I’m still the kind of girlie to place him solidly as kind of the stoic and dysfunctional sociopath but he’s got some of those beasty tendencies in him. the two have such strong attachment to each other but they both have such difficulty expressing it. hank doesn’t know how human well and 2b simply isn’t a soft person even when he wants to be. but they work with what they have. deimos and sanford are so invested in their relationship they chitchat about it constantly. in the most supportive way they want it to go well they just talk about the two being cute and try to help when they hit rocky points. the power couple is so stable they can take on other couple’s drama.

- I don’t know what the ship name is for tricky and hank but there’s like a tiny bit of that too. tricky is hank’s crazy ex but they were never in an actual relationship clown has just been desperate for the dick day one and has not let up for a single second. especially after the halo fiasco literally everyone hates them but they stay silly

- whitehank exists because of something along the lines of hank’s genome getting copied to aahw database when he went in the magnifier and using that agency got the bright idea that if they can’t beat hank. they can make their own. I don’t know actually how she should fit into everything but I like the idea it feels appropriately silly for madcom. the only thing I’m really decided on is that she eventually switches sides and 2b, carrying the entire trans community of nevada on his old man spine, hooks her up on titty skittles and him and hank informally adopt her because cold sad clone babygirl needs parents. she’s like all of hank’s feral swagger if you made it sopping wet and also like garage band punk. I can’t decide if she’s musclegirl as I’ve drawn her before or make her skinny legend I need to lock down the vibes. One important design thing that i know is coming however is that since she’s a copy of mag hank specifically, while hank gets demagnified in my little post canon design shit, she does not, so she is de facto tallest out of the. what do you even call the gang. just the gang? agency for hank wimbleton? the motley crew. the dnd party. nevada’s most wanted. that one actually works we’ll go with that

- funny thing I’ve considered for sheriff is that after whatever happens in project nexus dude just. pisses off somewhere. half hooks up with jeb to make a neutral party for people who just want to fuckin live. while jeb’s on the offensive side of that trying to actively stop the madness sherrif is the defensive side just making settlements for normal people to live they lives. something along those lines. it’s quaint. him and whitehank get together maybe. little guy woos the giant cryptid lady with his southern charm.

- the auditor is workplace sexual harassment personified. simultaneously in the fanfic suave way and the restraining order kind. they talk like stephan weyte. they think they’re soo cool and when someone doesn’t think they are when they want them to they run away and cry.

- I wish I could come up with something for jeb to like round out the primary cast but like honestly he’s the one I spin around in my head the least. I like his motive of make shit normal but maybe he’s just like too clear cut. he’s already got a full character there’s nothing for me to add.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[horsegirlwarcrimes]

would u tell me a bit about some svsss thoughts, au‘s ideas or wips of yours?(<- half way through a 9 hour train/bus journey & really bored) please?🥺

i could tell u about my tgirl-sqq/sy au that i’m never gonna write, cuz i genuinely don’t enjoy writing? or maybe show u a picture of my sisters newborn (cutest baby u have ever seen)

omg PLEASE tell me ur thoughts on tgirl sqq I love trans sqq (any direction but esp transfem it's so special to me)

let'sss see, I have a lot of wip and au thoughts at the moment as I nervously procrastinate several important projects 😅

I had a cold earlier this week so I wrote half of a fluffy fic inflicting my cold onto SQQ:

“Liu-shidi is out at the moment,” Shen Qingqiu said, an awful rasp to his voice that Luo Binghe hated.  “Surely Shizun can call him back?” Luo Binghe pleaded.  “For what?” Shen Qingqiu asked, waving a sleeve. “A small cold? This master has managed worse. He’ll return when he returns, and until then it's not so bad.”  “But Shizun–” Luo Binghe tried to object, but Shen Qingqiu gave him a stern look that caused Luo Binghe to fold at once. He redoubled his efforts of looking sad and concerned and despondent as a quick countermeasure, and Shen Qingqiu sighed.  “It’s not so bad,” he repeated. “This master can still perform his duties just fine. Most likely it will pass before Liu Qingge even returns.”

outside of that, i have been on a major qijiu brainrot kick (i have a 8k fic for them i should be posting as soon as i decide if it needs a stronger dose of sqq or not + decide how to end it (sob)), and also reading a ton of disciple days/canon timeline bingqiu and having big feelings about how much i love them. ive also been returning to my unhorny women and gender studies liu qingge omegaverse fic that i am always contemplating but never actually writing, in which liu qingge is a not-like-other-girls omega in PIDW omegaverse and tries to marry shen qingqiu due to fantasy comp het

besides that, here are some concepts ive jotted down in my notes app this week loll:

dragon!YQY hoarding peak lords

this is literally all i have written down for this but i want it to be something SO BAD. save me dragon yqy. dragon yqy save me

Yue Qingyuan is cursed into an endless sleep The other peak lords call on Shen Qingqiu to enter his mind and wake him up as the person closest to him, only... SQQ actually barely knows this guy! He and Binghe take a dream journey through YQY's subconscious and eventually find that SJ is haunting him and eating his power which is keeping him asleep. They must either banish him ORRR.... Sun and Moon Dew mushroom time

i dont think ill write this so if anyone else does....... please take this idea and run w it haha

Sy transmigrated into the little palace Mistress??? Ahhh...

i THINK this came after reading stiltonbasket's SY!QWY fic, because i was thinking about the old palace master being a huge creep and shen yuan dealing with that from inside huan hua palace. i really see shen yuan going on a journey of gender discovery (his own gender AND the perils of misogyny that he never understood as a cis internet man(he thought he was cis at least)) and political intrigue as he tries to get to the heart of whats wrong with huan hua while dodging and or attempting to track down luo binghe. plot??? idk her

Deaf Shang qinghua!! Mbj doesnt notice

someday i must write this bc i love writing my favs as deaf or hoh. id love to explore shang qinghua as being both physically and culturally Deaf and how that plays into his interactions with the world post-transmigration, where there is even less accommodations or access for someone with a disability and he is cut off from his community, especially in terms of his work on an ding and relationship with his martial siblings. mbj not noticing a major facet of his life feels in character and like great drama lol, and i think the conclusion is definitely mbj learning ZGS that teaches him and he ends up liking using it way more than speaking verbally, both for sqh's ease and because he doesnt like to talk lol

i hope this is what u meant hahaha i could talk abt wips and svsss ideas all day. they are living in my head rent free 24/7 ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ i hope your trip goes by smoothly and quickly!!

[ihhfhonao3]

a non ship fic with trans and gay Apollo, and lesbian Trucy. A coming out fic where Trucy comes out to Apollo, then Apollo comes out to Trucy. Then something where they both come out to Phoenix. Phoenix is also bi and trans. :)

Finally finished it agagagagaggaga

It is. It is under the cut

“And that’s when I told him, ‘Daddy, you’re just being crazy!’” Trucy said, laughing.

Apollo chuckled as he sipped his coffee. “Well, Mr. Wright is a very eccentric character… I’ve come to learn that, let me tell you.”

The pair were on a lunch break, spending their free time at a coffee shop chatting about workplace gossip and co-worker drama. Apollo had come to find throughout their conversation that what happened around the agency definitely did not go over Trucy’s head. She was strangely knowledgeable about most things going on there, in fact.

Suddenly, Apollo saw Trucy’s fingers tighten around her glass of lemonade.

“Polly?” She asked. 

“Yeah?” Apollo replied, trying to ignore his perceive ability which was activating at her tension.

“Could you… would you mind taking your bracelet off for a moment?” Trucy asked meekly.

Apollo almost spit out his coffee. “M…my bracelet? I mean… Trucy, I’m not trying to upset you, but I barely ever take it off… is there any reason as to why you want me to?”

Trucy swallowed down a lump in her throat. “I… I wanna tell you something important. But I don’t want your ability to ruin what I have to say…”

Apollo sighed. “I mean, sure, I can take it off… but not for too long, okay? I get nervous when I’m not wearing it for a while.”

Trucy nodded as she watched Apollo struggle to slip off his bracelet. Apollo always forgot how his bracelet was meant to fit perfectly around his wrist, so it often was very hard to take off. Eventually, he managed to free his wrist from it, revealing a red, circular mark on his skin positioned where it was resting previously.

“Polly… your wrist!” Trucy gasped. “Is it supposed to look like that?”

Apollo laughed and scratched the back of his head. “Probably not, but I told you, I barely ever take it off… on top of that, the bracelet is meant to be a perfect fit around my wrist, but even perfect fits can leave painful imprints after a while… Hey, there’s probably a metaphor in that!”

Trucy stifled a chuckle as her eyes flitted around the room. Apollo took no notice of this.

“So what did you want to tell me?” Apollo asked.

“Well, I…” Trucy stammered. She started to pick at her nails a bit. “I um… you see…”

“Truce, are you alright?” Apollo asked. “You seem super nervous. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know,” Trucy muttered. “I just… this is pretty big news. I guess I don’t really know how to get it across.”

Apollo smiled warmly. “Well, I can wait. Whenever you’re ready, go ahead.”

Trucy exhaled deeply.

“Polly?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gay.”

Apollo sat upright. “You’re… you’re gay?”

Trucy nodded.

“Oh. Wow. Um, wow,” Apollo stammered, staring at her for a moment but then regaining his composure. “Wow, that’s uh… that’s totally cool, Truce! That’s super awesome for you. And um, I guess I have to confess something myself, then!”

Trucy looked up. “What is it?”

Apollo grinned and said, “I’m gay too! And uh, I also used to be a girl! I’m transgender!”

Trucy’s mouth hung open for a moment, before she closed it shut abruptly. “You’re… you’re gay too? And you’re trans?”

“Yup!” Apollo said proudly. “And just between us, old gay guy to young gay girl? I think it’s awesome that you’re confident enough to tell me this. I’m super duper proud of you.”

Trucy giggled. “Aw, thanks Polly! I’m proud of you too!”

“Not to pry or anything, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but… have you told Mr. Wright about it yet?” Apollo asked.

Trucy sighed. “No, I haven’t. You’re the first person I’ve told, actually.”

“Call me selfish but that makes me feel kinda special!” Apollo grinned.

Trucy playfully shoved Apollo from across the table. “This isn’t about you, Polly! Listen to me for a sec!”

Apollo stopped talking and slipped his bracelet back on, miming closing his lips shut with a zipper.

“I just… how did you come out to people?” Trucy asked. “How should I go about it, do you think? It’s a bit different when I tell you, because you’re technically my subordinate, but… how do I tell my dad? ”

Apollo sighed and leaned back in his seat. “I can’t really help here, because I never really came out to people. Either they weren’t active enough in my life for me to care to, or I felt like it was more my business than theirs, so I didn’t owe them an explanation on anything. Now that I think about it, you’re probably the only person who’s gotten a full admittal, honestly. Besides Clay, of course.”

Trucy raised an eyebrow. “So what, you’re saying that you have no clue? That isn’t very helpful, Polly.”

“No no no, that’s not what I’m saying,” Apollo chuckled. “I mean, I guess it is a bit, but… If anything, I’d say just come out to him like how you came out to me just now. It doesn’t have to be particularly special or different just because he’s your dad.”

“So like… coming out by just diving right in?” Trucy asked.

“Yeah, just diving right in!” Apollo repeated. 

“Alright then, let’s go!” Trucy said as she stood up.

With Apollo visibly confused, Trucy explained; “I wanna go back to the agency to tell my daddy!”

“Right now?” Apollo grumbled. “I haven’t finished my coffee yet.”

Trucy ended up grabbing Apollo by the arm and dragging him out of the coffee shop. 

~~~

The pair ran part of the way back to the agency until Apollo got a cramp and insisted that they walk the rest of the way. As they walked, Trucy recited what she was going to say and convinced Apollo to come out with her, to make it less nerve-wracking. After a couple of minutes of practicing with each other, the two finally arrived at the agency. They barged in and rushed into Phoenix’s office, causing him to jump in surprise.

“Trucy! Apollo!” Phoenix half-shouted. “You guys scared the living daylights outta me!”

Trucy giggled. “Sorry daddy, but we both have big news! Can you meet us in the main room? Like, right now?”

Phoenix looked confused but obeyed, standing up from his desk and following the pair into the main room. Phoenix plopped down on one of the couches, and Trucy and Apollo seated themselves on the couch across from him.

“Do you wanna tell him your news first, Polly?” Trucy asked. Apollo got the hint and nodded.

“Mr. Wright, I have to tell you something!” Apollo said confidently, trying to show Trucy that nothing was going to go wrong.

“I’m listening,” Phoenix said, clearly a bit unamused.

Apollo grinned and said, “Mr. Wright, I’m gay! And I’m a trans man!”

Phoenix didn’t react. “What else is new?”

Apollo covered his face with his hands. “Am I that obvious?”

Phoenix started to reply, but Trucy stopped him.

“Daddy, wait!" she cried. "I have a confession too!”

“What is it?” Phoenix asked.

Trucy took in a deep breath. Phoenix and Apollo were both looking at her now. It was her cue!

“Daddy, I’m…” Trucy stammered. “Daddy, I’m gay too!”

Phoenix was quiet for a moment, but then smiled and stood up, stepping over to the other couch and enveloping Trucy in a hug.

“I’m glad you told me that, sweetie,” Phoenix said softly. “And I’m glad that you’re comfortable enough around me to do so.”

“I kinda knew you wouldn’t be upset or anything, but I just didn’t want it to be awkward,” Trucy giggled.

They hugged each other tightly for a moment, Trucy clinging on to the back of Phoenix’s suit coat, up until Phoenix noticed that something was missing. Or, namely, some one.

“Aw, c’mere, kid,” Phoenix said as he grabbed Apollo and wrapped him into the hug. Apollo looked taken aback but smiled warmly, wrapping his arms around his two bosses.

Eventually, they broke away from their group hug, and Phoenix sat back down. “If we’re coming out to each other, then I have to come out as well,” Phoenix said slyly. “I’m bisexual. And I’m trans too.”

Trucy couldn’t help it, but her jaw dropped open. “How did I not know this?”

Phoenix chuckled. “Miles is practically my partner, Truce. If you haven’t been able to put two and two together, that’s more your fault than anything. Plus, you’ve seen me without a shirt on before, whenever we would go to the pool! What did you think those weird scars on my chest were from?”

“I always thought that someone tried to cut you with a knife, but they missed!” Trucy said. “I didn’t know it was from a surgery!”

“Well yes, I actually have been threatened with knives before,” Phoenix mumbled to himself. “But that’s not what those scars are! At least, not those specific ones.” Phoenix winked.

The trio shared a laugh and Trucy stood up.

“Daddy, where is everyone else?” Trucy asked.

“Still out on lunch break, I think,” Phoenix said. “Why?”

“Because I have to come out to all of them too!” Trucy beamed.

~~~

Over the next couple of days, Trucy came out to practically everyone she knew personally, with an influx of overwhelming support and love from everyone she told. She started to change her wardrobe, buying button pins and flannels, and even convincing Phoenix to change the colored confetti she used in her shows from blue and pink to different shades of orange, magenta, and white. Luckily, the only people in her crowds that noticed were the ones that were going to support her nonetheless. Not only that, but Trucy was also warmly welcomed into a large net of fellow lesbians within the agency and the Los Angeles prosecutor’s office. Needless to say, she ended up very happy with her decision to come out to so many people, and almost unsurprisingly, many of those who she came out to were queer as well. This connection and love inspired Trucy so much that she took it upon herself to plan for the prosecutors and the agency to go to Los Angeles Pride together when June rolled around.

And naturally, everyone went.

[tokillamockingbird427]

I finally remembered to Mich post at a convenient time. (Get it? Mich post? Sounds like shit post?)

Mich is an OC I created with @callofdooty and he is a massive meme! Half of the shit we gave to him character-wise was done with the thought "This would be funny." and we were 1) Right 2) Also somehow added depth+feels to it.

Mich, pronounced like Mitch, is actually named Michael. Full name, Michael Rorke. And he is Gabriel Rorke's older brother. Oh no, there's two of them! *Screaming* (Credit to Doot for naming him, the genius.)

Read more insert/cut off due to length

Mich and Gabe grew up in a classically patriotic household, and were pretty close siblings, even with the latter having a temper for everyone. (Mich has a scar on his chin/side of his mouth because Gabe whipped a rock at him once.) Unfortunately, Mich was a bit of a black sheep and felt he didn't really fit in with his family, for various reasons. So once he could leave, he did, and just never really looked back. Which left Gabe feeling abandoned. (Mich's reasons range from not vibing with his parents authoritarian structure to being queer+trans and them not really being the best people to support that.)

After he was out of the house Mich went on to live his best life. He is best described as an anarchist weed-head woods-hermit survivalist. Quite the description! My favorite idea for him was that he'd live in "No Man's Land" post ODIN because the only government presence is the military, who doesn't really bother with random people in the woods.

Here's where the depth comes in: We decided the reason Gabe is the way he is, Americas ugliest lap-dog, is because he was upset with Mich for leaving and more or less rebelling against him for it. (I have a quote to sum it up "Rebellion for Mich was running away from their parents. Rebellion for Gabe was running away from Mich.") Mich didn't really intend to abandon Gabe, it's more or less something that happened and only tried to correct once they were both adults. (Which didn't really work out well. Gabe is very iffy with him.)

Now there's not a lot more to his "canon" because he just gets tossed into various scenarios and then reacts, but I do have a list of what are more-or-less "fun facts" about him.

Mich fun facts: -Isn't bald, unlike Gabe, but does keep his hair on the shorter side. -Regularly dyes his hair random colors and patterns, the latter of which he free hands. (Has never in his life set foot in a salon. Somehow hair hair isn't crunchy.) -Likes to use "Pal" and "Little buddy" whereas Gabe is always using "Jr" and "Kid" -Wrinklier and smilier version of his brother. They look hella alike, to the point that he wigs Hesh out when they first meet. -100% can and will adopt Hesh. That's his lil guy. Logan is not exempt from this either. -Has zero problem with Gabe joining the Federation. Is more upset about the whole "Murdering his homoerotic "best friend" and traumatizing both his sons" thing. -Fluent in Spanish+Portuguese. -Has no formal military training but finds no problem wielding firearms or finding himself in combat. (I mean, he lives in NML. That place always got some kinda battle. You gotta know some fighting skills.) -Bandannas and cowboy hats are his favorite headgear. -Keeps photos of him and Gabe on his person. -Constantly jokes that his full name is actually "Michigan" and that's what "Mich" is short for. -Performed his own top surgery. /J -Very laid back personality, though he's smart enough to know when/if he needs to be more serious/strict. -Incredibly annoyed that Rorke kinda stole their last name like it's his first name. -Very aware of whatever Elias and Gabe have/had going on. Very amused by it. -"Protect trans kids" flag in his front room. -Has multiple spouses. Romantically or just legally has yet to be decided. Not that he'd tell anyone. -Has kids. Mini Mich's causing chaos. (Just don't ask where the kids came from, mf made them from clay for all we know.) -Mich and Merrick are besties. (At the very least, Mich is the person Merrick tolerates the most. Outside Hesh.) -For all the quirks he really is just some fucking guy. -Daniel and The Cooler Daniel meme.

[boatem-probler]

It's Triple Feature Night in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / You Are Here! / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

There are THREE days in this report, because I was speeding through them so I could get to the Lizzie Episodes. Also Grian isn't in most of these ones, he's too busy being locked in the basement dungeon.

This report contains mentions of: slavery "jokes", death, violence, blood, stalking, sexual harassment.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

ALL HAIL THE MOON LORD

This Time...

Episode 16 – BUY A TAURTIS!

I’m just gonna cut right to the chase – Sam is doing a full-on master-slave roleplay thing with the Taurtis clones, and it is not played as fetishy at all, even jokingly, it is really just. Slavery. It’s a whole thing. It’s not funny. The whole episode is sort of about it. Sorry.

Anyway, there are now four Taurtises, the new one is Taurissa. And there’s a Taurtis626 in the chat now? Coming back to this later because I think I figured it out. Taurtis00 found a sailor fuku in a barn and changed her name to Taurissa00. Trans rights. Taurtis69 is still Taurtis69, not the one who exploded, a different one. And Taurtis626 just showed up overnight. Everything clear now? Great!

Anyway Taurtis seems to be attracted to Taurissa.

Sam claims to not know where Grian is.

On the way to school, they find Jerry in the park. He’s another Taurtis clone, but sort of wall-eyed. Also he types in a manner that makes it clear he is meant to be stupid in an ableist caricature way.

Sam tries to auction off some of the Taurtis clones at school. Jamberite asks which ones are good for experimenting. I have no idea what is meant to be up with her.

Oh Geode’s smile is even wider now. But at least his eye is back.

Anyway he and Dr. Nurse MD each buy a Taurtis, before Señor Loro comes in to bust things up. Everybody scatters.

Except Nurse MD. Who apparently has DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE?? Señor Loro is talking to him like he’s an alcoholic. Eventually Nurse MD relents.

Anyway. The chupacabra fucking Got Tori. Sam chases him out of the school. Everyone goes back to the classroom to poke Tori’s head with sticks. Señor Loro walks in on this. He tells the class not to tell anyone this happened, because they “don’t have insurance”. He goes off to find a substitute teacher.

Sam and Taurtis decide that Jerry should be the substitute.

Episode 17 – JERRY THE TEACHER!

Jerry teaches the class about JerryKats. They are made out of Jerry and Cats, apparently.

“This is the most I’ve learned since we’ve been at this school, to be honest.” – Taurtis

Dr. Nurse makes Taurtis put on a sexy nurse outfit. He says he wanted to make Grian wear it. He also says it’s his fetish. Oh god and now Kurokuma’s here WHY. There is a limit to how much of this one guy on the internet can take, you know.

Anyway, basically, the “lesson” is Dr. Nurse MD letting this creepy old man harass Taurtis in front of the class.

After class, they run into Jorje the goat, and attempt to warn him about the chupacabra, but he’s more interested in flirting with Jerry. Señor Loro shows up and “confiscates” Jerry.

Today is swimming day in gym class! Time to see if all those Taurtis clones are still in the pool! They are not!

Episode 18 – TAURTIS IS DEAD!

They all go into the locker room to change. In Taurtis’s locker there is a note. Written by Taurtis. That he doesn’t remember writing. It says:

Taurtis is freaking the fuck out.

Taurissa claims she can’t get in the pool because she is having a baby.

Igbar is just having a great fucking time swimming.

In Professor Geode’s class, Sam and Taurtis attempt to glean clues from Geode’s behavior to help them figure out if Taurtis is really a clone. Unfortunately, Geode’s behavior is rather erratic, because today is Teacher Inspection Day!

Geode has prepared an entire decoy classroom that he hurries all the students into before Señor Loro shows up. Geode is suddenly wearing a chef’s outfit and pretending to be a teacher called Mr. Dayman. Señor Loro is completely fooled, much to Taurtis’s chagrin.

Then they all go back to Geode’s actual classroom, where Geode confirms that Taurtis is, in fact, a clone. But he’s also constantly backpedaling and trying to deny the existence of clones outright, and Taurtis is clinging onto this.

Geode takes a blood sample from Taurtis by hitting him with a knife.

They run into Jerry after school, who says that “the goat” is dangerous and scary.

Episode 19 – TEACHER CHUPA!

It’s a new day! Taurissa made salmon for everyone. Taurtis tries to eat a cactus. Taurissa explodes. Jerry takes this as a sign that their time has almost come and they’re all doomed. He says their “expiration date” is near, and they need an “antidote” that Professor Geode made. They figure they can ask Geode about it at school.

Outside, Jorje is trying to find Jerry. He’s also wearing a school uniform now. Sam and Taurtis tell him that Jerry expired while Jerry sneaks out the back door.

Jorje is already in the school lobby (lobby? Do schools have lobbies?) when they get there. He’s talking to the chupacabra, who is wearing a suit. He’s the new teacher. Unclear if Jorje recognizes him as the chupacabra, but Señor Loro definitely doesn’t.

The boys go to Geode’s classroom. Geode’s smile, somehow, is Even Wider now. He also disappears mysteriously.

The bell rings, and it’s time for Mr. Chupa’s class! It’s a History class, apparently. Also, the classroom is full of candles and cushions arranged in a wonky circle with a dead-looking bonsai in the middle of it, so I’m sure nothing weird at all will happen in this class.

Mr. Chupa leads the class in a meditation exercise. The meditation is mostly about Goats. Also Sam and Taurtis accidentally tell Jorje where Jerry is hiding.

Episode 20 – DR NURSE MD!

Nurse MD has decided to dedicate this class to teaching his students why they will all be terrible parents. They’re doing the thing where everyone has to take care of an egg, but in pairs, and also they’re encouraged to try to break other people’s eggs.

The eggs are actual Minecraft eggs. You can imagine how this goes.

Taurtis626 explodes at the back of the class and Sam literally Does Not Notice.

Jerry is pretending to be a potted plant.

Dr. Nurse MD literally has to come out into the hallway and GET THEM because none of them noticed Taurtis626 exploding. He just walks up and asks them to explain why his classroom is covered in blood. It's the funniest fucking thing.

They rush to Geode’s class again, where he very slowly tells them about the antidote. Taurtis69 explodes (again). The bell rings and Geode refuses to tell them anything else, because they need to go to gym class.

The gym teacher isn’t there. It turns out that Señor Loro hired Jerry as the replacement gym teacher.

Episode 21 – GEODE’S DUNGEON!

Jerry is having some difficulties controlling the class and fending off Jorje at the same time, so nothing has really been done by the time the bell rings.

Taurtis hurries them along to Geode’s class, because he can “feel his innards bubbling”.

Geode announces that the class is going on a field trip, and will be playing a game on the way there called “don’t get caught by Señor Loro”. They get caught by Señor Loro as soon as they step outside the school. Geode quickly puts on a ginger fake mustache.

Geode takes them to the dump, and tells them whoever digs the most will get a prize! Taurtis is convinced Geode took them to the dump because that’s where the antidote is.

Sam: “I mean, I really doubt he cares, at all.” Taurtis: “We’re his creations, Sam, of course he cares about us!”

Sorry Taurtis but I think I’m with Sam on this one, actually. Sentences I never thought I would say.

Taurtis immediately falls down a hole. At the bottom of the hole are, apparently, “a bunch of heads”. Sam jumps down to see. The heads don’t appear to be from anyone we’ve seen, but they sure are a bunch of heads.

Meanwhile, Igbar finds a “demon sword”.

Dom gets angry about everyone destroying his home, because apparently he lives at the dump now.

Taurtis continues to ask Geode about the antidote. Geode tells him that the antidote is “safe at home” in his vault.

Sam tunnels into Dom’s house, which is inside a hollowed-out trash heap.

Sam and Taurtis sneak out of class to break into Geode’s house. They bring Dom with them, because Dom is good at parkour and would therefore, they reason, also be good at breaking and entering. They also pick up Jerry on the way.

Geode’s house is very mad scientist-core, it’s got the beakers, the metal floors, the big test tubes, the whole shebang. The test tubes are each labeled “Test Subject [number] – Failure”. There’s also another container labeled “Samples of Taurtis’s Garbage”.

Taurtis opens up a manhole cover on the floor leading to a basement with At Least One Skull in it. Sam and Dom go down the ladder on the other side of the room. Taurtis is stuck in a cage. They all work to break down the cage door while Sam and Taurtis argue over whose fault this is.

Taurtis: “You know I love jumping down mysterious holes.”

They unlock a door in Geode’s office with a lever from their house that Taurtis had in his pocket. Inside is a block of coal labeled “The Perfect Taurtis”.

They go down a different ladder into a larger basement. There’s a big door with a bunch of levers next to it and a sign reading “Secret Taurtis Gloop Vault – password: 1”. There are also more Taurtis clones, and one Dom clone for some reason? They’re theorizing it was the milk. None of the Taurtis clones are moving, but the Dom clone is. He’s Dom3 according to the chat. They break him out. He and Dom immediately start flirting with each other.

Sam inputs the password into the vault and the door opens, revealing chests full of “Icky, Sticky, Taurtis Gloop”. Taurtis drinks a bottle. Jerry isn’t looking too hot. Geode has arrived to “take care of his children”. They all hide behind various Taurtis clones.

One of the clones apparently wants to take Geode on a date. Geode responds, “Why, of course, Chosen One”. So, that’s a thing that’s happening I guess.

Geode notices the gloop vault has been opened. Everyone bolts. Geode’s house is connected to a train station, so they’re able to hide there while Geode runs past them. Geode yells that he is going to inform his superiors.

Jerry doesn’t feel so good. Taurtis gives him a bottle of goop. Jerry’s head swells up, but nothing else happens. Apparently he was able to hold the explosion in, like a sneeze.

Back at home, Taurtis wonders if he has a number, and figures out by typing in the chat that he is Taurtis2.

STAR WARS SPECIAL!!

Since Pug already covered these episodes in this post, I don't focus too much on what's actually happening moment-to-moment, but more so the little details and the things related to the ongoing Tokyo Soul, uh, "plot". So my "summary" probably won't make a whole lot of sense if you haven't either read Pug's summary or watched the episodes yourself.

You know, I had assumed the Star Wars Day Special would have been posted on May the 4th, but no, it was posted on January 19th. Is this like one of those “Christmas in July” things?

Taurtis claims that “Grian used to always make us breakfast”. Not sure when this is meant to have happened, since they rarely eat on screen in either series, from what I’ve seen, and also they’ve been in Tokyo for Exactly One Week by my count, but maybe this is just one of those things where one of these kids will just fully make something up about another one of them.

Grian: “Do you know what he did???” Taurtis: “He’s done a lot of things…”

This is the funniest possible description of Sam to me. He’s done a lot of things.

Grian doesn’t know who Jerry is. He says he heard a bunch of Taurtises talking and then he “kinda went to sleep for a while”. He was there when they rescued a bunch of clones from the pool, so he knows about the clones, but the last time there were more than two Taurtis clones in the house was Yesterday Morning, which sort of implies that Grian has been Depression Napping for at least an entire day. Just thought you guys might want to know that.

Grian also asks if Sam named Jerry that because of “what happened to me”. This Kills The Man.

Grian has a very blasé reaction to being told that Taurtis is dead and the one walking around with them is a clone, but I guess there’s a lot going on in his life.

He also doesn’t really react to hearing that Tori was killed. I guess even if she was a pretty reasonable person they still didn’t do a whole lot in her class.

Taurtis wants to join the Stormtroopers because they’re all clones.

Just wanna point out that they’re learning to use the Force from the chupacabra. How the hell did the chupacabra learn how to use the Force?

Sam lost the egg he was supposed to be taking care of for Dr. Nurse’s class and goes looking around for one to “borrow”, which means we get to see inside Igbar von Squid’s locker! He has emergency breathing helmets, a gun named “Humie Hunter”, some raw fish, and some kind of crystalline thing named “Hyooman Souls”, so that’s interesting.

Okay why does Dr. Nurse suddenly want Geode dead I wasn’t under the impression he was part of this plotline. We’ll see if that actually sticks around past this special I guess.

Dr. Nurse: “Boys, I am trusting you, with all of my idiotic heart.” Taurtis: “There’s your first mistake.”

It’s occurring to me that aside from a couple remarks about not wanting to be in a cramped closet with him, Grian’s venom towards Dr. Nurse is still mostly about his intelligence/teaching skills. Which, like, makes sense since Grian wasn’t there for the whole… nurse outfit thing. But it’s still a little disconcerting to me.

Not sure why Geode is Jabba the Hutt suddenly, but okay. I mean. Star Wars Special is why, but. You know what I mean (I don’t even know what I mean).

Mr. Chupa fully eats a student. Will it last? Vote now on your phones.

Theory: everyone is being pushed by some cosmic force into playing the role of whatever Star Wars character they’re dressed as. Wouldn’t be the strangest thing that’s happened in this town. Definitely wouldn’t be the strangest thing that will ever happen in this town, we haven’t even gotten to Cthulu yet.

Also all the stormtroopers are Taurtis clones. Sam and Grian kill a bunch of them in the process of climbing an AT-AT.

We’ll also have to see if the principal stays dead after the special because they kill him too, because he’s Darth Vader or something.

They shove all the Taurtis clone Stormtroopers into the basement dungeon. They find Taurtis69’s diary in the process, which reveals that he dug the room out himself, and then later on Jerry decorated it. Sam goes inside to see for himself and Grian locks him in. Happy ending!

No Trauma Count This Time Because Pug Already Took Care of That

Something I'm thinking about. Taurtis is unavailable: Grian and Sam fuck around in a superstore for a couple episodes. Grian is unavailable: huge personal revelations. Out-of-story, it feels weirdly like Grian is still being considered as a "guest" character even though he's been on the show for a while now.

In-story though. Taurtis is Important, it's Important that Taurtis is There. But it's not quite as Important that it be the same Taurtis the whole time. In Sam's mind in Yandere High School, and now in the narrative itself in Tokyo Soul, there just has to be someone present who can fit in a Taurtis-shaped outline.

Idk. I'm Chewing On It.

Next Time... LIZZIE LIZZIE LIZZIE LIZZIE

[popculturebuffet]

2024 Election Special! 4 Election Themed Episodes Reviewed! (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! It's election day when this comes out and i'm okay. I'm fine... honest

Yup not the least bit worried that against all odds and increasingly deranged behavior a petty dictator is going to win the election, deport god knows how many innocent people, destroy trans rights and swallow democracy whole yup yup i'm... i'm.. fine. But I could use a break and had the idea with Kev to do a big election specail. And we'll be doing this every two years.. i'd keep it to four and skip midterms but in deciding what I was going to review we found a LOT. Election Episodes are some of the funnest episodes on tv and a popular as hell theme that can be done both to tie into a presidetnal election that year or just for funsies and can be done on so many levels. They can be a big subplot, as many a sitcom do, or in these cases an excuse for fun shenanigans and political satire. THey also provide a nice break.

So for your pleasure we have four episodes from the 90's that show both how politics have changed.. and how they somehow really, truly, depressingly haven't and need to. It'll be both a depresing look at how we got in the position where one of our options is a destructive tyrant, and a fun break from that possible nightmare scenario that I deeply hope dosen't happen and instead we'll all be celebrating Kamala's victory. So join me under the cut as I look at some classic cartoons and try not to get too depresed.

A Goof of the People (Goof Troop, Season 1 Episode 37) Good old episode 37.. in a row. I haven't watched a ton of Goof Troop but I like what i've seen and frankly when Kev told me what this episode was about after watching it.. I HAD to review it at some point. Trust me folks this one is bonkers in the conkers and it is glorious.

So right away a local factor from Slimeco is putting out enough polution to kill Goofy's garden and blacken the sky. When prompted by max to go give these fellas a talking to he meets the CEO , a sludge monster, figuratively and literally, Fenton Sludge who is livid Goofy would suggest he'd loose 3 cents of profit and throws him out.

The saddest part is the part about a ceo not doing the right thing because it'd cost pennies is entirely accurat... as is that most CEO's these days are captain planet villians. Even the ones in favor of the environment make threatning tweets abou ta presidenttial canditate or creepy overtures to someone already in a relationship under the misguided assumption endorsing a candiate is a come on.

So Max suggests his dad run for mayor. And I do love Max's position as hype man this episode: he can't do anything as a kid.. but he can convince someone he can and I love the faith he has in his dad: Goofy may fuck up just getting out of bed in the morning, but he's an honest kind guy who does the right thing and Max knows that and respects it.

So goofy runs for mayor and as a result we get a classic how to short, as he reads a book on it. Naturally with Corey Burton, who has kept the role of the how to narrator to this day, doing the narration. I forgot he did this as far back as goof troop but i'm greatful. Shaking hands, kissing babies insue. Goofy dosen't seem to get to the chapters on graft, dancing a little sidestep, or crushing your enemies and see them driven before you. He gets enough to be a compitent politican though.

Pete finds out about this and laughs it off.. till he realizes Goofy's anti polution platform is popular, and thus he can steal it and get a limo and wear hawiaan shirts and fancy top hats. He'd be a god I say A GOD.

Pete's Family isn't convinced since Pete removes smog regulators from his cars for no paticular reason, says recycling is for suckers and assinated archduke ferdinand. They buy his blantant lies about having decided to change and the race is on: Goofy VS Pete. Despite blatantly reading off a script Pete starts to gain traction, but Goofy's still ahead.

Sludge is angry and I love how over the top they play him: They lack subtley in thier anti green aseop but it's refeshing to see a ceo played as such a tounge in cheek hammy nightmare. His solution is bribes but Goofy is too clean. So he decides to lean on pete as pete just has that "takes bribes gladly" energy about him, which proper research backs up. I love the scene of Pete taking the bribes too, putting them in his pants and Sludge just telling him to have at it. Jim Cummings gets to have a LOT of fun this episode and makes me want to watch more episodes to see more of pete's antics on his performance alone.

So pete does a full 180, baby, and even does a hackneed political stunt diving into a lake to show it's toxin free and proven wrong. Oh if every republican doing a stupid stunt actually paid conseuqences for it. Goofy is still winning so Sludge goes with plan D: Frame him. If your curious plan A was do nothing and hop ehe looses, plan B was pete, and Plan C was : Find some dirt on him. But Goofy dosen'tk now what a prostitute is though i'm sure he'd be a lovely customer. Pay extra, complinment his escort, bring his own condoms, good at sex. I mean look at goofy. Goofy fucks. You know it, I know it, we all know this as a fact but no one ever talks about it and it's about time someone talked about it again.

So Sludge hides toxic waste in goofy's garage and Goofy has no idea what ot do. Thankfully sludge left a literal slime train and Max encourages goofy to go kick his ass. Sludge is ready to throw hands, only for a sludge monster to rise out of the barrels in goofy's garage, go to the factory and call him dada. Then goofy kills this innocent child with a jar of clean air he kept since he was a lad that was set up later but I didn't mention till now because shut up. This also cures sludge who agrees to stop poluting and open a ballet school.

So Goofy wins and while it probably never comes up again, is mayor for the rest of the serie sand for eons. The time of God Emperoror Mayor Goofy is upon us LONG LLIVE THE FIGHTERS

So this episode is very over the top and really fun. While the commentary on polution is about as subtle as a brick

The politics bit is savier, showing how politicans will gladly sell out their morals for bribes. It's not subtle about that either but in a time when Batman the Animated Series couldn't have the mayor be corrupt because THINK OF THE CHILDREN, the fact they got away with this is notable and it's cahtartic as special intrests have only gotten more brazen these days. A sollid episode that delivers some peak pete, a goofy villian and a how to short. Good stuff

All the Duke's Men (The Critic, Season 2 Episode 8) Onto the most obscure show in this bunch and one of my faviorite Adult Cartoons the critic, a short lived cartoon by at the time former simpsons showrunners Al Jean and Mike Reiss, before Al Jean would be god emperor of simpsons for a few decades.

The Critic is a show I loved, covered before but was reluctant to cover this time as between my valentine's special a few years back and now John Lovitz sucks a whole lot more, having gone full alt right and appearing on fox news. That said I realized watching this that while Lovtiz is a major reason for the shows success, he's not the only person and i'ts a deservice to all the other talented people on this show, who wrote it and made it to stop loving it just because it's stars an ass. I can sidestep that for rosanne, I can sidestep it for the critic. Jon Lovitz can suck but he can't make this show suck.

That said whlie I love the Critic on rewatch for this All the DUke's men is a wobbly ass episode. I remembered it for it's best jokes and Duke's run for president, which is one of the funniest thing the show did. I never really reflected on the fact it's weighed down with dated refrences, from Michal Dukakais to Ross Perot who they made funny regardless of the refrence before

It dosen't help the first joke of the ep is a lazy mashup of Risky Buisness, Interview with a vampire and rain man.

The episode starts strong with a simple premise: Jay, our titular critic, helps his son Marty win class president. I don't mind this as a launch pad and i'ts great for gags, especailly from the principal of Marty's School, a delightfully cruel asshole with a distinctive laugh.

The problem is the subplot overstays it's welcome, lasting for about half the episode despite adding nothing to the duke plot, which is more intresting and coudl've used more time. It got plenty, but this is such a choice premise I know they coudl've done more. Instead we get "marty's class dosen't want to work". We get some great gags out of it: like Golden Age Simpsons, even a weak critic episode is packed with iconic jokes. Jay assures his son a real politican dosen't goof off and eat candy.. only to think of regan

Thankfully we get way more of Duke Phillips jay's box. Duke is an egotistical southern billionare played wonderfully by the late charles napier. And yup an idiot bilillonare running for president for his own ego and power sounds familiar, and the sad part is Duke would still be a better president. Though i'm sure he'd also be good friends with Hannibal Lecter. The diffrence is even being a movie character, Hannibal Lecter could plausably exist in the critic universe.

While it starts a tad slow once we get to act 2 the episode picks up and dosen't really leave off. The final gag of marty's subplot is great, with him only able ot mak ea horses ass ("Your watching fox, give us ten minutes and we'll give you an ass"), that gets set on fire and destroys cats ("And nothing of value was lost") and once i'ts gone we get some really good jokes. Highlights, since it's so rapid fire include Duke promisnig a group of zombies "the most human flesh since rosevelt", finding out Doris, jay's makeup lady is there to find a husband, Duke finding out the irish can vote and rethinking his poster

And using the EVIL EYE on a reporter. While jay is initially happya s Duke's speechwriter, figuring he can use his powers for good he gets uneasy. This is proven right as Duke's vp candiate is Jay's father Franklin.

Franklin.. is the best character on the show. Duke is an easy second.. but Franklin is primarly there to be a joke machine. Mildly senile, Franklin's primary role is to get into weird shenanigans, from mistaking a scarecrow for Wilson from home improvment, to trying to pull a missus doubtfire to see his children more often ("You can see them anytime" "Well who wants to do that?"), gluing everything to a celing, makign the worlds first fishmobabywhilrmagig, dancing his his underwear and destroying genuica in a hellicopter with a small child. And that's just a small list of great shit Franklin has done. This character is comedy gold and I wish we'd gotten more seasons or more spotlight episodes

I also wish he was in this one more as I forget HOW late he comes in, only having a few scenes. However as typical for Franklin he only needs a few to kill it: i'm not exagerating when I say EVERY second this character is on screen is funny. He rips off his hair because he "won't wear this toupee anymore".. only for jay to point out he dosen't wear a toupee "I will from now on. He follows up a fairly witty defense of his vp run by putting a stocking on his head and declaring "now let's rob that banks", pops into position for the debate with a cartoony sound effect, and declares "As the first black female head of the ku klux klan i'd like to say america stinks!". Capped by Duke's response "This might hurt us more than it helps us." This is all in the span of about two and a half minutes and it is delightful.

The episode resolves wobbly as Jay is reluctant to fire his own dad and again I wish we'd had more time with this subplot. If nothing else than to get more of Franklin and Duke interacting as this is the only time they do all series and even then they dont' share one conversation.

The ending though is one of the funneist scenes of the show. It starts with an apocalypse now parody that while a bit fat jokey, still makes me giggle and I quoted it from memory easily with kev

You know with all the musicals based on movies these days I really would watch an apocalypse now musical. But it's comedy gold. Duke interupting the show and wanting Jay to fire his dad Causes Duke to fire him from his campaign and go rogue. Duke's whole speech is great from his horrible polices (Regan: Reganomics is making a comeback)! to one of my faviorite jokes in the series

Duke then goes to put on some leather and go get spanked, having sunk his campaign. If only he ran in 2016. If only.

All the Duke's Men is uneven as hell, but still has some of the series best jokes. Plot wise it's a mess, but joke wise despite some very dated refrence humor, it fucking nails it enough times to make up for it. THere are better episodes, but this one's still worth a watch. And to my delight I found out the series is now on Tubi. Tubi: Thank god you exist you beautiful free channel. I'm not even being paid to shill for tubi i've just grown to love it more and more as more and more shows with no other home get added.

A Head in the Polls (Futurama Season 2, Episode 3)

Honestly i'm happy to get the chance to talk about futurama more. I haven't gotten to a ton and i'ts one of fox's best shows and revisiting this episode, i'd never noticed how good this one was. This episode is DENSE with jokes. Futrama was at peak simpsons level of joke density at this point and it's glorious: The characters are settled so they can just rattle them off, starting with a scary door segment brilliantly spoofing time enough at last (A Twilight Zone episode I never really liked as the ending feels overtly cruel when the character at the center had done nothing wrong, but I like as a parody as it points out he could just lead large pring.. thene sclates it with him loosing his eyes, then his hands, then just falling apart and oh hey look at that weird mirorr.

Fry and Bender are sidestepping the ongoing election. And fry's incredibly stupid opinons on voting have aged like fine wine in a cellar paired with a very nice cheese.

Yeah given the sheer mind boggling number of people who are planning not to vote to stick it to the man and protest the fact VP Harris probably won't put pressure on Isreal if elected. Which is bad, not going to sugarcoat it. We need to put pressure on her if she's elected to make sure she actually does something. I can't guarantee that will do anything but you know what I can guarantee won't do anything positive? Not voting.

Yeah I need to take a second to talk to all of you who are planning not to vote like fry here. Short version:

Long version: There are millions of immigrants and trans people whose lives will be worse and have their lives and futures taken away if Trump gets elected. All of our lives WILL be worse under Trump. That's not an assumption, that's not me castrosphsing that's fact: Trump is loosing it, which is remarkable given he was always unhinged but apparently there is depths to which he can sink, calling hannibal lecter a good friend, dancing for forty minutes for no reason, shouting about eating dogs in a way that geninely hurt the community his running mate made shit up about and refused to take back, and plotting ot murder his enemies and drink their blood. He hasn't SAID the latter yet but you know he's thinking it an dyou KNOW he's one rally away from saying it. Even if he wasn't he's a vile racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic, xenophobic, selfish, hateful, greedy, sad, spiteful hateful asinine creature a pupil with no scruples who knew better than the teacher and I've taken as much from him as any man can. We barely survived 4 years of him and millions didn't thanks to his turning COVID into a culture war. We will ikely not surivive a second trump presdiency that will last until he somehow blows the earth itself up or chokes on a chicken bone. Whichever comes first.

It's fine to be disapointed, it's fine to not like who your voting for. But not voting only hurts YOU and tons of innocent people your saying you don't give a shit about. I learned this the hard way: I voted third party pissed Bernie got edged out by the democrats in favor of someone who while not NEARLY as bad as trump, is still an objectively terrible person.. .and while I don't blame myself soley for Trump winning, I do still regret voting jill stein.. not helped by the fact it's very clear she sucks at this point but I digress. Not voting just to make a flashy point does nothing to actaully make said point as not enough people are going to risk another trump regime to be marytrs. Or as a wise asshole once put it

You probably didn't expect a strong rebuttal of "just don't vote man" assholes but my patience with them has worn out and it was barely there to begin with.

Back to the future, where not tolerating Fry's apathy, Leela drags him to a political convention showing off all the diffrent parties. This is a buffet of great gags starting with the presidental candiates both being clones of the same guy.

It's a gag that's aged shockingly well considering the current state of the Republican Party

As it highlights an issue I HAVE had with the democratic party: It's refusal to actually go as far to the left as it's constiuncy wants, trying to always pull more towards the middle. So the joke hits and makes this the perfect accidental metaphor for what happened to politics: the bland figures who always populated it tried to treat politcs as it always had: one party get sin power, the other gets in power, things shift back and forth, instead of "One party wants democracy, the other party wants a dictatorship". As a result a dangerous asshole marches directly into office... through the wall after killing several people.

Backing up we get a lot of fun sight gags here: There's the bull space

moose party

Good to see Bullwinkle surivived this long. I thought he was dead. The green party

Just.. never not going to love this pun. And even the antisocialist party which I'm sure is just tucker carlson's head ranting in a soundrpoof booth for several hours.

We get a fun gag with the non conformist party, but my faviorite here is the NRA, the national raygun assiocation which wants to end wait times for mad scientests and whose rep has mutated anthrax "For duck huntin" just the way he says it.

So Fry is at least intrested in politics when the plot pivots, bu tI like this opening set piece as unlike most simpsons-style opening set pieces, it comes back around. For now Bender finds out thanks to an alluminum mine collapse that the owner plans to pave over and get on with his life, Bender's body is now woth a lot of money. So he sells it.

The concept.. is so dumb it works. From Bender telling a dog that pees on him "You just lost forty dollars" after offering to pay it not to whiz on him (The confedence sells it) to his little car he drives around in, they find a lott tof fun shit to do with Bender as a head. I paticuarlly love him insulting everyone then having to ask someone to carry him to the head useum. I also love the head musuem having big named stars, character actors and tv actors... though the gag of their section being run down is one of those things that reminds you "OH yeah it's the 90's when this was written".

Bender runs into NIxon who misses his flebitus ridden body and Bender talking to the presidents heads makes him miss his own. I love his nightmare of binary and his fear after tha t"I saw a two"

A nice little thing I noticed this go round is that there is in fact a two in bender's nightmare

So bender goes back to get his body regretting it. And while the turnaround is quick. i'm fine with it. Bender had a nightmare, wants his body back, but it's already been sold. Simple, gets us along, and gets us to my second faviorite gag of the episode

That smash cut is so amazing. As is the fact it's just.. there. THey just move on with the plot with fry naked for a scene. Bender soon finds out where his body went: Richard Nixon. And look while this episode is great as is, this last act is one long excuse to let Billy West ham it up to high heaven as Nixon. They clearly loved his goofy impression of the goblin in the pilot and just let him go off. We get Nixon singing feed your head ("I'm meeting you halfway you stupid hippies"), saying i'm not a crooks head, he had to say the thing, and sweating on the debate stage as he's asked if he'd still candy from a baby. And is reminded he's under truth o scope, something I badly wish we had. I also love it going insane when he says "I certainly wouldn't harm the child". I'd also be remiss if I didn't point out the third best joke of the episode:

And just to prove their on a fucking roll , the next part has the gang sneak in to see nixon, which leads to the best joke of the episode, and one of my faviorites of the series, one i've played on a loop after rediscovering it. Unlike the others i'm not going to use morbotron for this one as while the gag would still be funny enough you REALLY have to hear Billy West's Delivery

Every part of this gag is perfect: Nixon calling Bender a "drugged up communist", the fact Checkers is also somehow in a jar and looks adorable and just how fucking angry he sounds. He is so livid over the slightest yelp from his good boy.

So our heroes have no choice but to break into the watergate. And the gag about "They give you a discount if you've been here before".. makes no sense. Nixon didn't break into the watergate. He gave his most unhinged minon orders to deal with the election and it spiraled from there. I would love to see G Gordon Liddy's head one of these days by the by. The man is more of a paranoid asshole than nixon and that's saying something: over the course of behind the bastards 6 party I learned he set himself on fire (Something I wasn't sure if Gaslit made up or not but nope) repedetly, constantly brought up the nazis ANY time there was a plan to a horrifying and comical degree, and spent a good chunk of time romaing around his neightborhood beating up teenagers. Like Nixon the man is both one of history's greatest monsters and a cartoonish weirdo we can point and laugh at.

At any rate our heroes ALMOST pull it off.. almost then fry gets caught in some magic tentacles and we get the most iconic part of this episode.

This is going to be trumps victory speech if he wins swear to god. Unless we can get Sir Anthony Hopkins to play Hannibal Lecter again long enough to get him to resign. They are good friends. Maybe even Brian Cox, he's just as good and frankly I don't think Trump's observant enough to tell them apart. Plus with Brian Cox he's strong enough to just whap him on the back of a head with a candal stick and tell him to fuck off the second his back is turned which solves the problem anyway.

Bender records all this because candiates were capable of being ousted for being blatant corrupt monsters back then

But as is the standard now Nixon.. still wins thanks to a giant kille rdeath machine. or you know appealing ot bpeoples most base instincts. Either way

And hopefully not a chilling vision of things to come. The episode itself is fucking great though: while the trump presidency helped it age gracefully it has good things to say about voting (ironically leela forgets to vote) how similar parties can be and the dangers of people like Nixon. It also has that naked jump cut, nixon yelling at a dog and going into people's houses at night to wreck up the place. It's a fantastic episode and one i'll defintely be rewatching again.

Season 2, Episode 20

So onto our only live action show of the special, and like animation we were spoiled for choice

Which is a valid stance and better than the republicans stance of "We want to tell you what to do with your body."

But Kev went with dinosaurs for reasons and i'm not inclined to turn down muppets, especially since we haven't covered Dinosaurs. I should do a block of those next year.

For those not familiar with it: Dinosaurs was a family sitcom following well. dinosaurs made by the jim henson company. It has a ton of great muppets, bodysuits and other good stuff and is esentially what if the flintstones were even more cyncial

Okay take about ten percent off Mark Russel's take and you really do have it. The show isn't subtle, but it is funny, and has great performances and I now want to check out more. If you want ot learn more Youtuber Jose has done a retrospective on it.

For now we're covering the election episode as Earl, the head of the house and your standard sitcom husband and Fran, his wife played by the late great jessica walter are taking their youngest child Baby Sinclair to get a name that's not just baby. I love how they lampshade it too: earl is morfitied it took them so long and fran recaps season 1 in pointing out why they've been too busy.

I do love how they build up dinosaur culture: while there are obvious anlaogues to us there seems to be uniqyue stuff baked in from what i've read, and this episode showcases it and sets off the plot well: the elder, basically president but in a more mystic way with a wizard robe and everything, picks a name. HIs name for baby is "Aaah Aagh I'm Dying You Idiot" Also he's dying. Sure i't sa concidence.

This name dosen't go over well with Baby. Which i'd care about if Baby wasn't an annoying catchprhase machine who should be left for the wolves. Or I guess this guy

So fun fact this guy also shows up in the opening.. and having not seen dinosaurs, I had no idea wha tthe fuck this thing was. I still don't but at least I know it's a recurring monster that's also some kind of demon that ate Earl and his son RObbie once.

So with the elder gone a dark force rises to take his place, JP Richfield, head of wesayso corpration and corrupt asshole played to perfection by Sherman Hemsley. While he'd love to just be elected elder, it has to APPEAR fair so he picks an idiot to run against him who somehow looks worse. Naturally earl gets the job and agrees to take a dive.

How he does it.. is shockingly funny. He sings how lovely to be a woman from bye bye birdie, a musical I dearly love> That song.. I do not. I mean Telephone Hour, You Gotta Be Sincre, One Last Kiss, Lotta LIvin To Do, all bangers but that one just.. isn't. Earl however fucking belts it well. The joke shoudln't work as it could easily fall into the trap of "GET IT A MAN ACTING FEMININE IS FUNNY AND WE'RE JUST A TENSY BIT TRANSPHOBIC". It does slightly, but holds up decently due to how much Earl commits to the bit and how fucking weird that.. that's what Jp Chose to have earl do, showing he both deeply loves bye bye birdie, that it exists here somehow, and that Earl also knows all the words. It hasn't aged perfectly, but Stuart Patakin commits to the bit and tom fisher in the suit gives the thing way more physicallity than I thought possible.

SO earl's family is naturally ashamed of him.. granted that's thei natural state but willingly throwing an election to a corrupt billionare is a bit far even for him. Thankfully he has a guilty nightmare that shows his family out on the street thanks to Richfield that turns him around. Dinosaurs REALLY said EAT THE RICH and tha'ts awesome. I mean they may of not sait it outright but they imnplied it hard in how the rich just want to make themselves and thei rbuddies richer and everyone else can go screw.

So Earl decides to genuinely run.. and by that I mean blather nervously to his interveiwer edward r hero, who interviews both candiates alongside normal dinosaurs anchor howard handupme, one of the best names in all of fiction. When that fails he's told by Robbie to just dance a little sidestep, and we get a great scene of earl just.. ignoring interview questions and talking about his children. Which is as hilarous as it is deeply sad that that shit works. I also like the headline afterword of they bought it.

Robbie has doubts and says a line that's just. so damn cutting and relevant "Winning an election dosen't mean your qualifeid to be president" Preach sister, preach. Earl has another nightmare and decides to tank the election.

The result.. is comedy gold as Earl fully comes out as a massive dumbass who is not qualified at all. Please don't vote for him. While RJ is pissed of that Earl accidently outs his election fraud. Edward R Hero laments that is this REALLY the best democracy can do? A choice between an idiot and a despot? Given that really was our choice four years ago, I can relate.

Thankfully the dinosaurs instead vote for hero, the world is saved and Baby is named.. baby while Earl laments he could do the job

This episode is solid. On the nose as hell but fun. I may of not had a lot to say, but I did enjoy this one and wouldn't mind covering dinosaurs again sometimes. It's got that muppet charm with an added bit of cynism tha'ts unique. It feels like a more succesful version of land of gorch: same ambition and adult audience (Though still watchable by kids unlike land of gorch), but with that muppet style

Episode Ranking: A Head in the Polls And the Winner Is A Goof of the People All the Duke's Men

Note that none of these episodes are bad. Their all enjoyable slices of election episode with some stuff to say. But they all also say the same thing: voting is important, and evil triumphs by good men doing nothing and poltiikcs has sadly alwasy been like this on some level the republicans just stopped putting up a pretense of giving a shit about basic decency. So thanks for reading and

So register and please vote for kamala harris and tim walz, the crazy taxi ticket and I mean that as the highest compliment. I"m gonna put on some leather and go get spanked, goodnight everybody!

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hi mothmom! I’ve been super excited waiting for your ask box to open, after finding your stuff in like, October? Your writing is awesome! It helps I’m a sucker for BG3 content.

Admittedly I’m a bit nervous asking (I’ve gone over your rules list like 15 times), and hopefully no one has asked this yet!

I wanted to make a request for the BG3 male companions (especially Wyll) supporting tav as they come out as Trans? Specifically trans masc if you don’t mind. Thank you so much! Super excited to see what you come up with ❤️

A/N: Oh my gosh! It warms my heart to hear you’ve been waiting that long for something I’d write. Oh wow, I feel so honored! And what a great question! It fits within the rules just fine, don’t worry! Here’s how I think the main three male companions would respond. BTW, I used he/him pronouns for Tav here, hope that’s okay!

TW: Gender Mention, Gender Identity, Gender Dysphoria 

Male BG3 Companions Reacting to a TransMasc! Tav

Astarion: 

Astarion is completely on board with the idea, so long as he gets to go shopping with Tav/give them the occasional bit of fashion advice. After all, Astarion thinks himself the best-dressed guy in camp, so, of course, it makes sense for Tav to take style advice from him. 

Astarion’s not very reactive. He was a high elf, born into the upper social classes of elf society in Baldur’s Gate. Certain high elves have been known to be blessed by Corellon, the androgynous leader of the elven pantheon, and the deity of Magic, Music, Arts, Crafts, Poetry, and Warfare. As the creator and preserver of the eleven race, he’s incredibly powerful. So powerful that in certain, very rare cases, special elves who receive a special blessing from them can change their gender following every long rest. These elves, known as "blessed of Corellon", can choose to be male, female, or 'neither' based on their moods or feelings. So the concept of changing one’s gender or appearance isn’t at all foreign to Astarion. 

Astarion does his best to listen to Tav though, especially if this is a difficult subject for him. Astarion knows what it's like to not be in control of your own body, of your destiny- it’s awful, rotten, and certainly, not something he would want to intentionally inflict on another person, especially someone as important to him as Tav. 

Astarion will listen intently, and take mental notes as to how Tav prefers to be treated. If he asks Asation to give him more credit in physical battles or to maybe lay off pet names like ‘Beautiful’, Astarion will respect Tav’s wishes. It may take Astarion some time to adjust, but he does make an immediate effort to. 

Astarion will also not hesitate to cut a bitch who insults Tav or disrespects his pronouns or appearance. Astarion is basically the living, walking embodiment of that “respect people’s pronouns or I’ll make yours ‘was/were’”.

Gale: 

Gale may put his hand in his mouth a handful of times when he talks to Tav about it at first, but he really does mean well. Gale’s just very curious about any magic or spells Tav has used, if any, in trying to alter their appearance or gender. Have they tried any transmutation spells? Polymorph? Any alchemy at all? Gale is very much on board with helping Tav achieve their desired look or body via magical means if that’s what he wants. 

Gale offers assistance via magical means of course, but he also offers a sympathetic ear should Tav ever want to talk about it. Gale has met plenty of alchemists who struggled with their own identity, so he knows it can weigh heavy on one’s mind. And when you already have a mind flayer parasite on the mind, well, that’s quite a lot for just one mind to handle!

Gale’s very excited to share shaving and grooming tips, especially when it comes to beard upkeep. That is if Tav is interested in trying out a beard. Gods know Gale’s been dying to talk to someone about it, someone who appreciates a handsome face when they see one. Tara won’t stop bugging him to shave it, and he could use another fellow on his side. Maybe together he and Tav could persuade Tara into liking it. (I mean, probably not, but it’s worth a shot.)

Gale isn’t one to initiate conflict, but should someone disrespect Tav or talk down to him, Gale would certainly have some words for that individual. Granted they may be murmured or said under his breath so as to not start yet another fight on their journey but in the end it’s the thought that counts, right? And if those words just happen to be some sort of mischievous spell as revenge, well, some things just can’t be helped, can they?

Wyll: 

Wyll is extremely kind and understanding when Tav tells him. He’s always very encouraging and does his best to uplift Tav anyway, but now that Wyll knows this, he tries even harder to do so. 

Wyll knows how much other people’s perceptions of yourself can mean. Wyll himself was so used to people seeing him in one light before Mizora cast him into another. Adjusting to the horns has not been easy, but just as Tav stood by him through all of that, Wyll vows to stand by Tav. 

He’s very polite, so he doesn’t ask a lot of questions unless Tav explicitly tells him it's okay to. If it is, Wyll will ask Tav about how they’d like to be addressed, how they’d like to be perceived within the roles of the team, and if there’s anything Wyll can do to make this process any easier for them. 

You know how in the latest patch, there was a fix that said “Duke Ravengaurd will now use the player's correct pronouns when addressing them”? And collectively we were all like, so Wyll sat him down and gave him a talk, huh? Yeah, that. 

Wyll’s very old-fashioned, not in his beliefs in gender roles, oh gods no, but in his belief that everyone should be treated with respect. (Well, sans goblins and like, bad guys, I guess.) So if Tav says they want to be called something, you can bet Wyll is the first one to remind the others if they slip up. 

Wyll thinks Tav is just an incredible person and an all-around amazing guy. He’s so happy to have met them. It’s kind of silly, but in some ways, Wyll still sees himself as this sort of knight-in-shining armor, a hero sworn to protect the people. But what’s amazed Wyll time and time again is how often Tav reminds Wyll and everyone else by extension, just how capable he is, as a leader and a friend. Tav isn’t helpless in need of rescue, he’s very capable in his way. Wyll finds it captivating, all the time Tav has come to his rescue.