#corresponding author

[miss-biophys]

New publication out!

We were curious what happens with the lipid membrane if proteins are inside. As a model of membrane proteins we use transmembrane peptides with neutral and positive charge. The charges turn out to be quite crucial in the peptides influence on the lipids.

publication link: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.colsurfb.2024.113765…

All transmembrane peptides hinder mobility of lipids around. The positive charges in the peptide make this hindering a long range influence.

The membrane with the positive peptides then has heterogeneities in the lipid mobility. This hampers free rearrangement of lipids and leads to lower ability to seal ruptures. You can see below how the membrane stays fragmented after indentations with AFM (atomic force microscope), which is basically a very tiny tip that scans the surface of the membrane for images and can also push through it to test mechanical stability.

For comparison this is how it looks like with a membrane without any peptides. The mebrane seals the ruptures induced by the AFM tip and recovers its round shape. The same happens if we have a neutral, non-charged, peptide.

With this work we highlight the importance of including charges of proteins and peptides in membrane model studies.

And last but not least...

This is the very first time I am the last corresponding author of a publication. I am immensely proud on myself!

[kismetconstellations]

@sockdooe, the ignorance of this "analysis" is melting my brain.

What are your thoughts?

[bellysoupset]

Okay so random question, and this is not a correction of your writing, just a quirk I noticed.

Do you not have heating pads where you live? I’ve noticed that you and many other writers on here use hot water bottles in your writing, but I live in central/western US, and I have never used or seen a hot water bottle. We typically use an electric heating pad or a microwave warmed rice/corn pillow. Anyways, I can’t wait for your next installment of drama, 💗 you, byeee!

-🩰

Answering this late, I'm so so sorry, just found it in my inbox while searching for a prompt 🙈🙈

I'm going to be very honest, we do have heating pads here, but I live in a tropical warm place, so I don't know a single person who owns the electrical stuff. Hell, I think I only know 2 people who own a hot water bottle, let alone the heating pads 😂 I myself don't own one!

The rice pillow I've read about, but I've never ever seen in real life!

[postscriptsillage]

Dear Axel

Dear Axel, 

If envy is malice, then perhaps my deposition is not as innocent as I once believed. 

I admit I covet pragmatism. The simplicity of living life from one task to the next without the compulsion to transform every dull chore into a grand poem is something I lack. 

I need every waking hour to feel like an adventure. I deplete myself often, perpetually attempting to infuse grandeur and ballads into mundane duties. 

Those who live life only to get by unscathed, those with wishes they could fit in a teaspoon, must feel such ease. 

Imagine not feeling burdened by the ordinary. Imagine surrendering to the rules without questions. Imagine, for once, actually reading the instructions.

Think about the bliss of succumbing. 

Poetry is captivating because it is always out of grasp. Even when it deigns to take a few steps towards me, I am barely running my fingers along the outline of its shadows. 

Prose is everywhere. Prose weighs me down. But it is prose I must befriend. 

With love, 

Akshara

[virtuouslibertines69]

"You are an ocean. I dreamed once for a moment that I was the crest of your wave." - Erika Mitterer, tr. by Beth Bjorklund, from Correspondence in Verse; “Third Letter,”

The Sirens Last Song by escume on DeviantArt

[mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips]

Y'all, I've written nearly 5,000 words of this damn Mummy AU, and we haven't even officially met the Big Bad yet. 😅

Casting the Firefam is much fun.

(As a quick aside, this fic is not gonna be a strict one-to-one match. Imma change some things, keep some things, get rid of some things, mkay?)

Bisous,

Maira

[slaughter-books]

Day 22: JOMPBPC: Colours

I love corresponding colours! 💛💜

[coquelicoq]

mad science polycule bixia/fan xian's mom/fan xian's dad/chen pingping/wu zhu: let's make and then raise a science fiction baby and also restructure society. who wants to be corresponding author

[philtstone]

I don't know much about LOTR but I know Aragorn's weird. He's a weirdo. He doesn't fit in. Have you ever seen him without that stupid helmet? Wait no don't kick that

lmfaoooo

my great hope is that everyone who has not yet watched lotr now observing my unhinged posts will be compelled to watch lotr. i feel this way not only because i think its a beautiful story but also and more pragmatically because i genuinely think that for whatever flaws it may have its a very special phenomenon in filmmaking history.

(i would never presume to insist anyone has to read the books. theyre bangers though)

that said if you, gentle reader, never do watch lotr. and ur seeing my crazy posts. yes. the biggest takeaway from all of this is indeed that aragorn, prophesied king of the realm and the best dude you will ever meet, is a weirdo

many tolkien characters are weirdos in out-of-story-context. and then several tolkien characters are weirdos in in-story-context, too, which makes them great fun. in fact, it could be argued that there's so much cross-cultural race and power-level mixing in the proverbial dnd party (and all subsequent side quests), that every single character is at one point perceived as a massive weirdo by any other given character in the story.

and theyre all the good guys <3

[lilliankillthisman]

Incredible quote thank you... yes it may look like the enigmatic and mysterious Arab feels emotions like you or I, but look a little closer and you will find that you've been fooled by a cunning oriental illusion...

[bibliophileiz]

2023 in Books, Part 2

(posting a day late, oops)

This was a pretty great literary year for me. Even the books at the end of this list I enjoyed reading. I left out an anthology I read for class (Peach Pit is ... interesting) and a book of poetry written by someone I know, just because I don't know anything about poetry and don't want my personal feelings about the poet (she's great) to muddle it even further. I also already posted a separate list ranking the six children's/YA books I read. That still leaves thirty-one books to rank, though.

As usual, this is based entirely on personal preference/enjoyment and not necessarily on quality of writing or story. I reserve the right to change my mind about this ranking as soon as I post it because I am fickle like that. (Although I don't think I'm going to change my mind about my number 1 choice.) Here ya go.

31. The Ex Hex by Erin Sterling Dates Read: Dec. 12-13 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: A witch accidentally curses her ex-boyfriend, and by extension her small magical Georgia town. She and her ex have to lift the curse without falling in love (which of course they do anyway). One-sentence review: (directly from my GR review) Cute and witchy, just the thing to get you through finals week.

30. Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld Dates Read: April 28-May 7 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: A musician and comedy writer seem to hit it off when the musician guest stars on the comedy writer’s late-night show, only for the writer to blow it by assuming the musician is a shallow womanizer. A few years later, they rekindle their connection during pandemic lockdowns. One-sentence review: I liked the characters, but as usual Sittenfeld is more interested in commenting on whatever she saw on Twitter while she was writing this then she was on, like, writing a dramatic plot.

29. The Murder of Mr. Wickham by Claudia Gray Dates Read: Aug. 19-27 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: All of Jane Austen’s beloved couples (except the Tilneys), plus the Darcys’ son and the Tilneys’ daughter, attend a house party at the Knightleys’ where Mr. Wickham turns up and is immediately murdered. One-sentence review: This is what P.D. James’ Death Comes to Pemberley SHOULD have been.

28. Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus Dates Read: May 24-27 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: It’s the 1960s, and chemist Elizabeth Zott was kicked out of her Ph.D. program for reporting her supervisor for rape, and then loses her job after she becomes pregnant outside wedlock, and ends up starting her own STEM cooking show and some other stuff happens, look, I know you already read the reviews of this one. One-sentence review: It was fine, I just thought it was overrated.

27. The Paris Deception by Bryn Turnbull Dates Read: Aug. 23-Sept. 7 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Two women immersed in the French art world in the 1930s and ‘40s defy their German occupiers by hiding, documenting, and sometimes copying “degenerate” art to keep it from the hands of high-ranking Nazi officials and sympathizers, or to keep it from being destroyed. One-sentence review:  The main characters were great and I really like the focus on protecting art and culture from extermination, but the constant time jumps drove me nuts.

26. Forever, Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid Dates Read: April 3-5 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Less than two weeks into her marriage, a young woman is widowed and only meets her mother-in-law at the hospital. The two strangers find a way to navigate their grief together. One-sentence review: While the grief could be gut-wrenching due to Reid’s fantastic writing, the characters were nothing spectacular.

25. Hell’s Half-Acre: The Untold Story of the Benders, America’s First Serial Killer Family by Susan Jonusas Dates Read: Jan. 29-31 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: The Benders were a creepy family in late 19th Century Kansas who murdered people who stayed at their boarding house and then disappeared before they could be arrested. One-sentence review: I’m not super into true crime—it has to be historical for me to even start it--but I did like the look at life in the Midwest.

24. Galatea by Madeline Miller Dates Read: Jan. 6 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Madeline Miller retells the Pygmalion myth in a way that doesn’t suck. One-sentence review: Miller smartly skips the gender misery by making this a short story and then delivers an extremely satisfying ending.

23. My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite Dates Read: July 26 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Korede and Ayoola are sisters who fall for the same man. Ayoola is hot and a serial killer, and Korede is getting pretty tired of covering for her. One-sentence review: Despite (or perhaps because) all the characters are awful, this book STAYS with you, and I feel like it would be a blast to talk about in a drunken book club. Note: I listened to the audiobook and want to give narrator Adepero Oduye a shout out.

22. The Weaver and the Witch Queen by Genevieve Gornichec Dates Read: July 24-Aug. 17 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Three friends in Medieval Scandinavia find themselves in the middle of a Game of Thrones-esque rivalry for the crown and a deadly battle between supernatural forces. One-sentence review: Good story and I liked the characters, but it moved too slowly sometimes.

21. The Wedding Dress Sewing Circle by Jennifer Ryan Dates Read: May 7-10 GoodReads Rating: Four stars (I was feeling more generous about Grace marrying Hugh than I am right now) Summary: A sewing circle in a small English village in the 1940s decide to pool their talents and resources to help English brides wear the perfect white gown to their weddings, clothing rations be damned. One-sentence review: Ryan excels at writing about women and civilians in wartime, and I would have ranked this so much higher if it hadn’t ended with the best character marrying the worst one.

20. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid Dates Read: Jan. 31-Feb. 8 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Aging actress Evelyn Hugo (who is not Elizabeth Taylor, by which I mean she absolutely is Elizabeth Taylor) invites a young journalist to write her life story. One-sentence review: The plot was engaging and thought-provoking, but I never could decide how I felt about Evelyn.

19. A House with Good Bones by T. Kingfisher Dates Read: Oct. 28-Nov. 1 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: An archaeologist visits her mother at the family home in North Carolina only to find that her grandmother’s ghost is haunting it. But how do you banish a ghost once you learn it’s keeping something far worse at bay? One-sentence review: Of all the haunted house books I read this year, this one was the worst, and yet it was still great.

19. To Swoon and to Spar by Martha Waters (That’s right, I ranked a trashy Regency romance above both Romantic Comedy AND Lessons in Chemistry) Dates Read: May 17-24 GoodReads Rating: Four stars (Objectively, this was too many, but I also don’t care.) Summary: When Viscount Penvale’s uncle promises to sell him back the family estate for a steal if Penvale marries his uncle’s ward Jane, Penvale reluctantly agrees. He and Jane make an agreement to leave each other alone, but Penvale didn’t expect to fall in love with her. Nor did he expect his family house to be haunted. One-sentence review: The Regency Vows series just keeps getting better, honestly.

17. A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson Dates Read: Aug. 31-Oct. 13 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Humor writer Bill Bryson and his on-again-off-again friend Katz decide to hike the Appalachian Trail, and Bryson tells you all about its history and natural resources along the way. There are moose, but no (confirmed) bears. One-sentence review: This book got me really into nature and hiking again.

16. The Shining by Stephen King Dates Read: Dec. 1-4 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: I know you know what this book’s about. One-sentence review: Super tense, riveting look into the mind of a toxic, self-absorbed abuser who doesn’t need to be anywhere near blizzards, haunted houses, or children.

15. Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid Dates Read: July 12-23 GoodReads Rating: Five stars (Objectively, this book probably deserves that. Subjectively, I like Regency romances and journalists better than sports stars.) Summary: A retired tennis star full of rage and ambition makes a comeback to keep a younger player from breaking her record. One-sentence review: An absorbing, balanced take on the pressures women athletes face, plus a heart-warming father-daughter story, with some romance and female friendships to round it out.

14. Swamp Story by Dave Barry Dates Read: Dec. 30 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: There is actually too much going on to summarize this book, but suffice to say it involves a desperate single mom, her shirtless fame-hounding ex-boyfriend, a failed journalist with a drinking problem, and a lot of people in the Florida Everglades looking for a cryptid OR Confederate gold OR pythons. One-sentence review: Dave Barry writes about Florida like it’s a drunk, eccentric relative who everyone hangs around at the family reunion even though he smells bad, because he has the best stories.

13. Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas Dates Read: Oct. 15-28 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: During the Mexican-American War, a Wuthering Heights-esque couple learn their homeland is being stalked by vampires. One-sentence review: You root for the couple, you root for the Mexicans, you even root for the vampires once or twice, but you never root for the Texas Rangers. Note: The couple is Wuthering Heights-esque in the sense that he is poor, she is rich, they were childhood sweethearts, and then they were separated—not in the toxic incest way.

12. A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall Dates Read: July 12-23 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: A trans woman believed to be dead at the Battle of Waterloo reinvents herself and returns home to England, only to find that her best friend has been consumed by grief over her death. As she helps him heal—and he slowly falls for her—she battles with whether to tell him who she really is. One-sentence review: I'm a sucker for love stories in which the couple are torn asunder, believe they will never see each other again, and then are reunited unexpectedly. Note: This actually would have ranked a lot higher if all the main couple’s angst wasn’t basically resolved in the first half. The second half is fine but not as good.

11. The Lover by Silvia Moreno-Garcia Dates Read: Dec. 26 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: A young woman must choose between two potential “lovers” who come from the woods in this dark fairy tale novella. One-sentence review: Finally, a good werewolf book.

10. The Dark Queens: The Bloody Rivalry That Forged the Medieval World by Shelley Puhak Dates Read: April 4-14 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Puhak writes about the feud between rival Merovingian queens Fredegund and Brunhild in sixth century western Europe. One-sentence review: It’s like Game of Thrones, but real, shorter, and with more women and less sexual assault.

9. Lafayette in the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell Dates Read: Dec. 14-25 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Vowell writes Lafayette’s biography, focusing on his and the larger French role in the American Revolution, all while musing on our country’s inability to agree on anything. One-sentence review: Vowell’s irreverent essay style is just the tone needed to tackle the oft-romanticized American Revolution.

8. The Hacienda by Isabel Cañas Dates Read: July 23-26 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: In the aftermath of the Mexican War for Independence, a young bride moves to her landed husband’s country estate, only to find that the house is super haunted and her new in-laws super racist. One-sentence review: Your standard haunted house story, except the ghost is colonialism.

7. Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune Dates Read: Oct. 29-31 GoodReads Rating: Five stars (was probably generous, but the ending had just made me cry, so) Summary: When workaholic Wallace dies, his spirit is sent to a teashop for transition to the afterlife. But after a few weeks of hanging around teashop owner and “ferryman” Hugo, his reaper, and the ghosts of Hugo’s dog and grandfather, Wallace realizes he doesn’t want to leave what he’s coming to think of as his family. One-sentence review: A lovely mixture of funny and sad, this book is a nuanced look at death and found family.

6. Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia Dates Read: Nov. 1-6 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: A debutante from Mexico City visits her cousin’s haunted house in the countryside where she’s pulled into a mystery surrounding her cousin’s eugenics-obsessed in-laws. One-sentence review: Noemi is a fantastic character, and the plot is engrossing, which is good because you will hate all the other characters.

5. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer Dates Read: Aug. 9-29 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: In 1996, Outside magazine sent Jon Krakauer to cover the burgeoning commercialization of Mount Everest. When Krakauer climbed the mountain himself, he and his team got caught in a freak snowstorm that resulted in what was then the worst disaster in the history of the mountain. One-sentence review: Apart from being a really tense and riveting account of a brutal natural disaster in an already brutal environment, Krakauer’s account of the 1996 storm on Everest raises questions about who should be on the world’s highest mountain and whether money and fame have blinded guides and climbers to the risks of tackling the summit.

4. The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty Dates Read: Nov. 20-30 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Amina al-Sirafi, a retired smuggler and single mom on the Arabian peninsula, has to get her old band crew back together for the promise of more money than they’ve ever dreamed of when wealthy grandmother hires Amina to rescue her kidnapped granddaughter. But things go awry when the crew learns the girl is with an evil crusader with plans to unleash dark magic and monsters on the world. Inspired by the rich mythology, religions, and history of the Middle East, East Africa, and the Indian Ocean. One-sentence review:  I have not had so much fun reading a fantasy novel since I was a kid reading Harry Potter and I can’t wait for the sequel.

3. Lone Women by Victor LaValle Dates Read: Oct. 5-12 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: In the early 1900s, a woman burns her parents’ mangled bodies in their California farmhouse and flees to Montana with a secret locked in a heavy trunk. One-sentence review: Frankenstein meets Calamity Jane in this horror Western about race and female friendships.

2. We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian Dates Read: Oct. 28-Nov. 9 GoodReads Rating: Five stars Summary: Two men reporting for a progressive newspaper in 1950s New York fall in love. One-sentence review: I mean, it’s journalists in love in the 1950s, and one of them is investigating police corruption and the other covered a Civil Rights meeting in DC, so of course I loved this book.

1. The Correspondents: Six Women Writers on the Front Lines of World War II by Judith Mackrell Dates Read: Nov. 27-Dec. 26 (during finals and holidays with family—I don’t think I could have finished the book if it wasn’t so good) GoodReads Rating: Five stars Summary: Mackrell covers the WWII careers of six journalists—a correspondent in Berlin who ingratiated herself in the Nazi Party to tell America about Hitler’s plans for world domination; a photojournalist for Vogue who took pictures from the Blitz to Dachau; a young American whose coverage of both sides of the Spanish Civil War catapulted her to journalistic stardom; Martha Gellhorn whose fury at her husband (you’ve heard of him) compelled her to illegally stow away on board a hospital ship and cover the invasion of Normandy from Omaha Beach while helping wounded soldiers; a rogue freelancer who broke the story of the invasion of Poland and whose thrill-chasing career took her from there to Greece to North Africa and beyond; and Helen Kirkpatrick, who covered the liberation of Paris while Hemingway was getting plastered at the Ritz.

Review: There is too much to say about this book. Mackrell did an incredible job. These journalists’ triumphs and tragedies play out alongside the triumphs and tragedies of the world’s biggest conflict. Each woman had different motivations and goals, from thrill-seeking to career-making, from spite to idealism to simply a love of journalism and dogged search for the truth. While Sigrid Schultz’s Chicago editor applauded Hitler’s control of Germany, Sigrid warned his readers of Hitler’s ambition. When the world turned a blind eye to Hitler’s military build-up and annexation of half of Europe, Virginia Cowles and Helen Kirkpatrick wrote furiously against Chamberlain’s policy of appeasement. And while the rest of the world celebrated the end of the war in Europe, Lee Miller swept through Dachau taking pictures and refusing to ignore the human cost of fascism and war.

All of this was at great personal risk. The Nazis tapped Sigrid’s phone and searched her house until she was finally forced to flee to America in the early 1940s (where her editor promptly benched her for three and a half years). Virginia dodged bombs in Madrid, and Helen dodged bullets in Paris. And Lee Miller defiantly washed off the stink of Dachau in Hitler’s own bath, which was immortalized in a photo her equally defiant boyfriend took in the days after the Fuhrer’s death. Mackrell’s prose also gets into the nitty gritty of correspondent life, how the reporters all camped out in hotels and spent their days chasing stories and their nights drinking whiskey. She discusses the friendships and rivalries—Marth and Virginia became great friends in Spain and eventually wrote a play together satirizing the misogyny they faced during the war. And while the stars are the six I mentioned above, cameos include Mary Welch (Hemingway’s wife after Martha), Dorothy Thompson, Vogue editor Audrey Withers, and “Maggie the indestructible” who convinced an American commander to let her go on a bombing mission over North Africa, paving the way for other women correspondents on the front line after the US entered the war. Plus there are appearances from Picasso, both Randolph and Winston Churchill, Eleanor Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower, David Lloyd George, the Duke of Windsor after he abdicated, Hemingway of course, and half the Nazi high command. Mackrell uses the women’s own words to describe the bombing of Madrid, the mass evacuation from Paris, the refugee crises in Eastern Europe, and the Night of Long Knives in Germany. Every moment is riveting as Mackrell and the women she writes about pull you into Europe of the 1940s.

[miss-biophys]

We're under review!

The editor thinks the manuscript could potentially be a good addition to the journal. In other words, our work is good enough to be reviewed by other experts in the field. The reviewers already aggreed to write their reports. Great! Let's see what they have to say about our work.

Another milestone in my scientific journey

I submitted my very first article as the last corresponding author.

This means I take responsibility for every single word and all data and findings in the manuscript. It feels big.

Keep your fingers crossed!

[wyvernquill]

He paused, the tobacco tin out on his bed, waiting for him. The painting of the South Downs still on the lid. He touched the painting lightly, before slowly pulling the postcard out of his pocket. Blackadder stared back at him, from where he was standing by his side. Accusatory, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. That sharp expression on his face, confirmation that he never missed a single thing. He opened the tin, shoved the postcard on top, took one last look at it before closing the lid. The two of them together. Over the old photograph of Doris.

Art for (and quote from) twoam's wonderful fic Kairos, which has not left my mind for even a second since I first read it a year ago.

[vaguely-concerned]

there's something so real about having read up on a specific period of history enough that you're starting to get your own niche faves. you read or watch anything about tudor england and have that bright blorbo-like moment of 'awww look it's my good good friend french-speaking ambassador to england from the holy roman empire eustace chapuys! <3' recognition

[postscriptsillage]

Dear Axel

Dear Axel, 

My troubles stay burgeoning, growing untamed in my garden. I see cruelty where others do not. 

I saw a woman at the farmer’s market selling healing crystals and stones. Crystals and stones lynched and mutilated against their will into pleasing shapes. Our healing in exchange for the blood of the earth herself. 

I witnessed a rich man donating his surplus groceries to the homeless. For the cosmos, an act of charity. To me, an astounding display of the arrogance of a man who feeds his well-fed self first and aids those less fortunate only as an afterthought. 

And did you know,  sunflowers are allelopathic, injecting toxins into the soil and stifling other plants from blooming? How ignoble of the world to celebrate the beauty of a murderer. 

There is no good, without the bad and morals are only what we render them to be. 

Axel, it seems to me that every deed is tainted by an inescapable paradox- what may seem altruistic to one, spells doom for another. Such is the bitter irony of this world in which I run the risk of harming others by mere acts of self-preservation. 

The guilt of it all reverberates through my every vein. How does a woman proceed from here? 

With love,

[dualdeixis]

Hi! I hope this is okay to ask and if not you don't have to answer it of course! But I was wondering if I could ask about the start of your convertion to Judaism and what made you start it. I've been thinking about converting to Judaism myself so I'd love to hear your about your experiences, if it's okay for you to share them! Also I love your poems very much, they inspire me to write poems too <3

hello! thank you for your kind words, it means a lot. i'd love to read your poems too if you ever want to share.

i got my start on learning about judaism by attending shabbat services and other events at my former college's jewish center (specifically with their reform congregation) and a different local reconstructionist congregation. i was just curious to explore and ended up really falling in love with the style of services (i'm a musician and love singing with others), the way textual study is approached (questioning and reinterpreting and wrestling with scripture is encouraged), the emphasis on inclusivity and social justice, etc. (these all may differ from your experience if you're interested in a different denomination.) however i am no longer affiliated with either of those congregations because their questioning and their social justice for some reason do not apply to questioning zionism or demanding justice for palestinians, and i refuse to give such institutions my time or money. if you are interested in attending a jewish service, tzedek chicago is the only anti-zionist synagogue i know of and their services are held online. there are also the congregations affiliated with synagogues rising, who affirm a commitment to palestinian liberation on their website, though as far as i know none of them explicitly call themselves anti-zionist, and since i haven't attended any of them i cannot personally vouch for their principles on this front. and unfortunately i'm not familiar with any anti-zionist jewish congregations outside the USA. (edit: tzedek also has an affiliated group in the uk and ireland.)

i also just wish to make clear that right now, my stalled conversion or unattachment to a synagogue is not my primary concern; going out in the streets is. my grief at losing community pales in comparison to my grief for palestinians, and this grief also pales in comparison to palestinians' own grief and suffering. my spiritual needs do not take precedence over the material needs of palestinians. therefore i ask my (fellow non-palestinian) siblings in the anti-zionist jewish community, including my fellow prospective converts, to channel our feelings of betrayal and loneliness into making sure that palestine is not betrayed and not alone. channel our wish for having a place to belong into making sure that palestinians have a place to belong. in this moment we may seek comfort from our traditions, but our traditions remind us: "study is not the most important thing, but actions; whoever indulges in too many words brings about sin" (pirkei avot 1:17). please do what you can. follow/get involved with with the palestinian youth movement and within our lifetime. we are obligated to center palestinian voices and to bolster their words with a backing chant of "not in our name." this is just as much a vital expression of our judaism as going to synagogue is, if not more.