#self writings

[athousandbyeol]

everything happened because of the wind. once the wind stops, everything will return to normal.

[tarotwithavi]

Forgive and forget: a blessing and a curse

They say to forgive and forget, but is it truly that easy? Is it easy to forget what they did to me and forgive them for the things they voluntarily did? I wish it were as easy as they say. I wish it were as simple as they say.

Forgiveness is often seen as something magical that heals wounds and brings peace. But in reality, it’s complicated and bittersweet. Yes, forgiving them will free us from the hatred for their actions, giving us the freedom we need. It will lift the heavy weight of resentment off our hearts, letting us breathe easier. But does this freedom come at a price?

To forgive is to let go of bitterness and find joy and peace again. It’s a blessing that helps us heal and move forward. Forgiveness shows us that we are more than the pain they caused. It tells us we deserve to be happy, even if it means letting go of the past.

But forgetting—that’s the hard part. Forgetting means we might let them hurt us again. It feels like erasing the lessons we’ve learned and the strength we’ve gained. It feels like letting them get away with what they did, as if it didn’t matter.

Will our forgiveness make them regret their actions? Maybe not. Regret is something they have to feel on their own. Our forgiveness can’t make them face their guilt or change their ways. It can only free us and help us move on from what they did.

In forgiving, we take back our power. But forgetting means we might lose the wisdom we’ve gained. It’s a blessing and a curse, a balance between healing and remembering. Forgiveness gives us peace, but forgetting has a cost , one we might not want to pay.

They say to forgive and forget, but maybe the true way to heal is to forgive and remember. Remember not the pain, but the strength we found through it. Remember the lessons learned and the resilience we built. Forgiveness can free us, but remembering our journey will remind us of the strength we have now.

[bhavya-thescribbler]

There comes a time

When you stand nowhere

Neither you have a dime

Nor a soul to stare

-- Bhavya

[acronychalwitch]

I'm filled with a desire for clarity and meaning with a world and condition that offers nothing.

- Albert Camus, The Myth Of Sisyphus

[sulasnsleep]

“and when i grow old and tired, do not leave me. hold me, hold my heavy soul, and rock me until the sun sets and the air turns crisp.”

— sulasnsleep

[youraverageintrovert]

I had a lot of things to say to him. So many that it nearly made my heart burst. But I never did. I was too scared. And I wonder if that’s how it’s going to remain. All those things, left unsaid, forever.

Unknown

[poeticalwarrior]

“To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one’s been crueler than I’ve been to me.” —Alanis Morrisette

Harald Slott-Møller | “Længsel” (1913) | MutualArt

"Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."

- Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

Art : Feminine stereotypes by Romina Bassu

[libraalynn]

[postscriptsillage]

Dear Axel

Dear Axel, 

My troubles stay burgeoning, growing untamed in my garden. I see cruelty where others do not. 

I saw a woman at the farmer’s market selling healing crystals and stones. Crystals and stones lynched and mutilated against their will into pleasing shapes. Our healing in exchange for the blood of the earth herself. 

I witnessed a rich man donating his surplus groceries to the homeless. For the cosmos, an act of charity. To me, an astounding display of the arrogance of a man who feeds his well-fed self first and aids those less fortunate only as an afterthought. 

And did you know,  sunflowers are allelopathic, injecting toxins into the soil and stifling other plants from blooming? How ignoble of the world to celebrate the beauty of a murderer. 

There is no good, without the bad and morals are only what we render them to be. 

Axel, it seems to me that every deed is tainted by an inescapable paradox- what may seem altruistic to one, spells doom for another. Such is the bitter irony of this world in which I run the risk of harming others by mere acts of self-preservation. 

The guilt of it all reverberates through my every vein. How does a woman proceed from here? 

With love,

[goddess-luna420]

🩶~Lie to me again like you do so well,

Tell me the sweetest of things even though they don’t mean a thing to you,

Look me in the face tell me all things you know I wanna hear just to keep me near to you ,

You keep playing my mind like this,

Not caring about the damage you cause with this,

Not caring how you put my heart thru this,~🩶 by me.. (photo also by me)

[athousandbyeol]

so, do you think i'm invading your world right now, or are you invading mine?

[litbylit]

Let Go.....

Let go of the weight that drags you down,

Of pain that lingers, without a sound.

Release the hands that long to part,

And heal the bruises on your heart.

Let go of feelings that don't align,

With love or peace or precious time.

Let slip the things that must be freed,

For what remains is all you need.

The winds will carry what must flow,

In letting go, new seeds will grow.

So loosen your grip, untie the thread—

Find joy in what lies just ahead.

[kathi-tanenbaum]

Pretty Strange

At the first impression I knew who you think I am. I am different from every girl you've met,

you're like every man. Complimented my taste in music: Liking The Smiths and Radiohead. Recommended me your favourite movies, as if i didn't know Wes Anderson. The way I dress reminds you of Summer or a girl from an indie film named after a some flower: Character developement for him. Invited me to your place to connect two precocious souls and I saw right through your plans with every interlectual conversation. By way of sharing the same interests and bonding over never fitting in, you thought you'd get into my pants. Start the connection with our skin. If I went and got undressed would I still be a girl who reads poe? Cool girl, no strings attached now I lead you on and am a hoe? When looking at my body, you claimed to finding my soul. Plead me as something special, but i'm just another hole. From our first meeting could see through your campaign. But being tormented for my weidness, I admired being pretty strange.

[acronychalwitch]

Something inside me had dropped away, and nothing came in to fill the cavern.

- Haruki Murakami

[sulasnsleep]

“i do not recall the taste of love. i remember being fed poison and told it was sugar.”

— sulasnsleep

[theotherwoman-emily]

I woke up around eight on Sunday morning.

I made a fresh pot of coffee.

I showered.

I tied my hair up into a messy bun on my head.

I changed into a loose fitting sundress.

I cooked a dozen chocolate pancakes for Roman and Adeline.

I look out the arched window to the darkened sky.

A storm was coming.

Thunder cracks rumbling the house on its foundation.

I hear a small set of feet trample across the floor a few moments later.

I look to my side seeing a wild haired girl rubbing her eyes as she stares up at me.

A shy smile spreads across her face as I bend down to pick her up and sit her on my hip.

She puts her head on my shoulder as she too watches the sky above the house turn darker.

Moments later I feel a large set of arms close around my waist pulling me back to support my body.

We sway back and forth in motion for a long while before either of us speaks.

“There’s pancakes and coffee.”

“You have to eat too.”

I nods giving a weak smile.

Roman kisses the top of my head and releases me collecting Adeline from my arms despite her fussing about it.

“I just need a couple minutes.” I promise.

Even with sorrow in his eyes he looks beautiful.

I remain in my spot listening to the thunder rumble through the house for a few moments longer.

I finally leave my place at the window and enter the dining area where Roman sits across from Adeline watching her eat small bits with her fork.

His plate remains untouched as does his cup of coffee.

This was killing both of us.

“I’m going to drop Adeline off with my Mother before we drive to the operation. She’ll stay there for the week while you continue to heal.” Roman speaks his voice soft as his weary eyes come up to meet mine.

I can tell we’re both on the verge of falling apart.

I give a weak smile and nod as I take my place beside him and lean my head on his shoulder.

Adeline gives a toothy smile with pancake teeth and I give a small laugh.

“I’m finished.” She states.

“Let’s go upstairs and get your teeth brushed, your hair pulled back, and your suitcase packed up to spend a couple nights with nana.”

“Nana?!” Bless her she was so excited.

I lean up off his shoulder as he moves the chair back to follow after Adeline.

Time to get dressed I suppose.

I get up from the chair painfully aware of the ache of the time growing closer.

I dressed in a pair of black leggings and an oversized shirt.

By the time I noticed Roman in the room I was putting on my converse.

“Are you okay?” I ask him.

He shakes his head as he moves to sit on the king sized bed looking completely worn and exhausted.

“Are you okay?” He says rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.

“Not even a little bit.” I answer as I walk across the room to stand in front of him and to place myself between his legs.

“I know.” His gruff voice trembles. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”

I pull his arms around me and hold him in my arms for a long moment before I release him, cupping his face gently in my hands, my thumbs wiping away the tears from his cheeks.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” He whispers as I place a kiss to his full lips.

“We’re gonna be okay. We will make it through this.”

“Will we try again?”

“Yes.” I promise him meaning it with every part of my soul.

Once Roman has dressed he grabs Adeline, the small butterfly suitcase, and our overnight bag, he straps her into the car seat and stows the bags into the trunk.

We make the long trip to his Mothers home to drop Adeline off, and I hold Romans hand rather tightly in my own as I fade into sleep on the remainder of the car ride to the hospital.

He wakes me with a soft kiss and a soft voice before exiting the car to grab the overnight bag.

We walk in the pre register and only wait twenty minutes till we’re taken back.

I’m given a gown to change into for the operation and Roman helps me given my energy is spent.

I finally start to weep for my stillborn child.

For the final time we both caress the baby in my belly saying our final goodbyes.